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#cw implied self-harm
btm-txt · 1 month
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The Animal I Have Become...
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'Help me believe it's not the real me Somebody help me tame this animal'
Ko-fi Sketch for @charleecat-bat of Shepherd's Monster AU werewolf form, that I might have went a bit too hard on. I couldn't help it I'm a sucker for Charlees's bois... and werewolves!🤩 Had an absolute blast getting lost in this piece, thank you so much for commissioning Charlee and getting me all hyped up over werewolves!
Got some sketch commissions open, come check it out if you're interested! :3
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sunyandmony · 7 months
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"ꋊꏂꅐ ֮ϐׁυׁׅtׁׅ ….σℓ∂?" |Cato and Reader drabble(?)|
Cato but if he was a… Mer? Fish? Dunno- I'll see what I can do- The design comes first though- So yep- that's why it comes out very badly and late 😔
Just to be safe, I'm gonna add extra trigger warnings..
Tw:body horror(?), implied gore, potty mouth author/reader, self-harm mentioned(ig??)
B̶i̶g̶ f̶i̶s̶h̶ a̶r̶e̶ d̶a̶n̶g̶e̶r̶o̶u̶s̶ no̶w̶- B̶u̶t̶ a̶l̶s̶o̶… V̶e̶r̶y̶ s̶m̶a̶s̶h̶a̶b̶l̶e̶- I M̶E̶A̶N̶ H̶U̶H̶?̶!̶- D̶O̶N̶'̶T̶ L̶O̶O̶K̶ H̶E̶R̶E̶ D̶A̶N̶G̶-
Start reading under cut ⬇
—-------
You were NOT gonna make it out alive, not out of this one, nope, all the instructions did not tell you about a humongously tall half-human and half-fish, dangerous and about to probably rip you into pieces creature who currently had a staring contest with you, scarlet eyes glowing straight towards you, pentagrams sending daggers(?) your way as you prepared for the worst yet to come..
╰•°`°•>3 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑡ℎ𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒..<•°`°•╯
You finally managed to get out of that ridiculously uncomfortable seat, your mind trailing with thoughts of how your life is changing so fast, it hasn't even been that long since your parents handed out this house to you, and you knew they weren't poor, but neither that rich, you might've been wrong about that- What you're looking for was right in front of you as soon as you looked up from your phone and compared the screenshot to the actual thing.
The house itself wasn't much of a house itself,..a beach house? Could it be considered one at its size? Probably- But you didn't really care, this was now your new home, along with your dog of course, who's been following you all along, practically trying to get your attention to feed them, but you can't right now, it's too much to unpack now and so, she'd have to wait for a bit, you already gave her treats not long ago before getting out of the taxi.
Your dog was mostly fluffy and pretty friendly towards everyone, mostly children and especially you, the owner, the fur on her body being like a rough, colorfully coat. Black, brown and white adding to her fit, her ears dropped over her head as if acting sad from your denial for more treats, slowing down her rhythm ever so often while running off to the docks while you opened the door to your house, a key you almost forgot you had in your jacket that lazily draped over your persona.
This was much better than being locked in your apartment 24/7 working from home for the stupid makeup company your mom told you would be 'best for you' even though you barely liked makeup in general, not phased by it or anyone wearing it, because unlike everyone else, your parents just sent you off and said that it's fine to just retire all of a sudden, and not even bothering to tell you why, just 'waving' you off the best way through a call at midnight.
It wasn't new for them to ask you to do something, but this? You surely haven't expected things to go out this way, not when they planned on you being the one to take over their company when you're older, no not the make-up one, that's just another job you rather forget about now, because you hated every moment being there, not one moment did you enjoy working with uncooperative people at your side and trying to get projects done before they're overdue, so you took it pretty well actually, a chance to start fresh.
You slowly unlocked the door with a click and looked inside, the curtains having been left closed from the last time someone was probably, which you doubted was recent due to how private this part of the town was, nobody even stepping here and just going another way to avoid this place as if they couldn't step on the beach near this house, and you assumed it's your parents who bought this place for sure, because unlike your cousins you're not that easily gonna gloss over it and just, enjoy the kind of wealth? Not quite though, and the beach beside it, how do they have the money? A total mystery you don't ever wanna find anything about.
Ever so slowly, you set your bags near what looks like a desk with many drawers that had already been here for a long time, the dust having gathered onto it, the way this place looked like couldn't be described better then a abandoned house, a whole bunch of old garbage and dust laying around for who knows how long now, bookshelves full of books that somehow fit in the shelves for how many there were, old furniture somehow still intact as well but as everything else here, dusty, but overall organized. Huh, it seems whoever was last here at least left less chores for you to do, you assume that they're more responsible than you are though.
As soon as you hear the creaking of the porch behind you, ever so slowly getting closer, you open the door as your dog, which you so decided to call 'Jua', since the name fitted her pretty well. After she got in, you shut the door closed, making sure to check if it would budge before groaning to yourself, your thoughts running a mile an hour for whatever reason as you slumped towards the middle couch, letting yourself fall on it face first and not thinking twice before closing your eyes, trying to get some good night's rest.
… Turns out that's just impossible the moment you got your phone out and started scrolling through media, again, trying to pass the time and looking through 'Tuza', a popular app today that mostly had everything you could wish for, aside from the hackers, that's something you'd rather not get involved with, yet… At least if it's not necessary..
You didn't realize just how much your eyes hurt until you blinked once, finally coming to a stop from scrolling through Tuza, closing the app and then closing your phone, the screen turning black as you set the said device on the coffee table next to you, closing your eyes and uncomfortably shifting on the couch, trying to find a comfortable position to fall asleep in, but none of the positions helped one bit with your sleepy state, you wanted to sleep so badly, yet couldn't, shifting eve more, as if it would help at all.
You grip your already messy hair and pull on it, the silence abruptly cut short as droplets of water started pouring down from the sky above on the roof of your house and everywhere else outside. You have not watched the news for a while, so you weren't expecting rain at almost 4 AM in the morning, and to say you were tired was a lie.. You were exhausted, spent and done staying up just because of your thoughts, stupid, awful thoughts..
What thoughts were they to be so bad? You don't even know, all you know they're so bad they keep you awake, and a bonus with that constant scratching noise from outside, and you already forgot what you were even talking about a moment later. You slowly loosen your grip on your hair, looking up to be met with the said rain outside that kept on pouring down on your windows. It was actually pretty quiet except the sound of your breathing and Jua's on the floor next to the couch, somewhere in the pitch blackness in front of you.
A deep sigh and you stand up, strolling closer to the window and looking outside, it was all normal. The palm tree ravishing with the violent wind outside, leaves thrown around by the force. You squint your eyes, and then you're met with another, much bigger, much weirder face staring back at you. You scramble back, breathing heavily. What is that? Whatever it is, it's not human, but it wasn't gone even when you looked back out, it started almost right through you.
You gave it a small wave, more out of curiosity than anything, and it returned the gesture, much to your horror. Yep, so it could see you through the darkness from a distance of at least a hundred yards away. Great. You understand why your parents had so many books about mythical creatures now, given one is staring at you. You come back to the present and skip back to your room, picking up a few clothes and changing into them. They were soft and somewhat comfortable on your cold skin, but it wasn't time to think. You put on the hat and then throw a raincoat around yourself, plucking the buttons on it close and putting on the hood before putting on some much needed boots and putting your phone in your pants pocket under the raincoat before running outside, bursting the door open and then closing behind yourself.
If you were gonna see a creature, you would see it up close to make sure it is real and not a trick or your imagination. Humid and wet sand crunched up under your feet and the wind blowing past you so rapidly made it impossible to concentrate on the current mission. Mostly because you forgot to bring a flashlight, so you had to base yourself at the bare minimum that you could see outside in the rain with the bare moonlight slipping through the heavy clouds.
A particular hard swoosh of the wind almost knocked you off your feet, but you grounded yourself, breathing heavily under the collar of your shirt, trying to warm up your breath somewhat before continuing on. You weren't seeing anything as of yet, given how low you are on the ground at the moment, and it felt like forever but you hit somewhat of a checkpoint, a rock in the middle of the beach that you sat down behind to rest on the sand, the wind not as effective now as it was before.
Were you seriously risking your life just to prove a thing to yourself? While it would satisfy your curiosity, it could also satisfy your death wish. A shiver ran down your spine. No, you were not going to die, if it was dangerous you knew you could run, some creatures of the ocean couldn't always stay on the ground before needing to go right back into the water. But given the rain right now, it didn't count, but they could still be out given the chance, and you weren't taking a 'no' as an answer from your brain.
A few more deep breaths and you got off the ground, steadying yourself with the help of the rock given at hand before walking around it and continuing your adventure towards the rocky hill, trying hard to not fall over because of the rain picking up and the wind blowing past you becoming much, much colder and harder to ignore.
A particular area nearby the rocks started rocking along with the wind, and the moment you got too close to it, the wind picked up and the boulder on top fell over, rolling off its spot.
You were so focused on it that before you knew it, darkness ate at your eyes and you collapsed completely under the boulder that continued to crush your body. You were too weak, too stupid to defend yourself against a rock, much less an unknown creature. It ate at your thoughts.
. . .
And suddenly, you took a deep intake of breaths as something heavy was lifted off of you as simply as a feather, you shot up and held a hand over your heart, trying to calm yourself. Your back was most likely not gonna help you, and neither were your most likely broken legs, well, not that broken, you still could move them, given your stupid attempt to get up off the ground.
A harsh gasp came from you, and you sat back down, feeling with your free hand at your ankles and lower leg, trying to see if it was fractured. On the inside it felt intact, on the outside however it felt like it was all scratched and bruised, for both legs had the same problem, but your right leg aches more given the weight that was put on it the most. More thoughts came about and then you raised your head, looking up to be met with what you could describe only as some sort of mer or even, leviathan. It couldn't be put in words at how silent it was, it was leaning close and stabilized with two hands on the ground, holding its body upwards.
You couldn't help your curiosity growing even more, despite the dread you were feeling, knowing that you were probably just prey in its eyes. It inched closer to you, and you had to hold back the shiver that ran down your spine once its immense, wet face was right in front of you, blocking out everything else, all you could see were the obvious scarlet, glowing eyes. To say you were one second away from running wasn't a mistake, but even if you tried, your legs would've given out the moment you get up, given just how much damage has been done already to your body.
The moment you took in a deep breath, it seemed to back away just the slightest bit, you were sure it was more scared of you then you were of it, even though it obviously had an advantage over you in most things. The first obvious one is the height, given you're about the size of an ant to it at this point. You weren't sure what to do, this was just a long staring contest between the both of you.
While most people would've run for their life or fight back, even do as much as flinch, you barely even took in a breath when it inched much closer to you than before. Not to mention it had an unreadable expression on its face, which, from your point of view, looked like a crescent moon and the variety of curves on its face couldn't give it away better than that. You wish you knew more about…Whatever this thing was, so as to know at least what would trigger its fight or flight response.
More harder given how dark it still was right now, and the fact it was still raining, but the creature's body somewhat loomed over you so much it blocked out the rain drops, it was probably trying to trick you into thinking it wasn't dangerous and then just finish you off without a second thought.
It was more than frustrating to think you would be done so easily, given all your life built up to this point, the silence is deafening, it's not a good sign, neither is the way it's inspecting you so closely. You forgot you were still in danger, given it hasn't moved a single bit, well, except for its head, but its body was as still as ever. Was it having some sort of debate on what to do with you? Okay, stop thinking that way, this creature is definitely not as dumb as you thought it would be, it's more like the smart type amongst its species. It's weird to say that too, you don't even know what it is.
It then shifted, leaning away all at once, and you once more had to hold back your breath, though that didn't prepare you for it to smirk at you. The sharp, razor teeth didn't help the matter much. It literally looked like it was about to eat you alive, not like it would be different from when you tried to do it to yourself, but glossing over that- You squeaked the moment the ground left you, and your raincoat not being helpful anymore, given how far off the ground was, you didn't dare look down knowing it would make it worse.
A sound revertabrated from its chest as you didn't move a muscle in its hold. It was so, SO, slippery and wet, yet it had such a hold. The grip around you tightened and your breath was taken away. It slipped closer and closer to the water, using its other hand, clawed tips dragging along the sand, dragging you along against your own will. A momentary midair view of the stars and then darkness.
Water surrounded you the next moment almost instantly, luckily for you, it wasn't as cold as you thought it would be, it was actually pretty warm water. Would be logical, given how hot it was outside not long ago. You blinked several times, adjusting your vision and looking around your surroundings, yep, confirmed you're being dragged deep into the ocean. It wasn't so hard to guess, seeing as many fish started to appear the more your vision cleared, yet your lungs didn't appreciate being so abused, bubbles left your mouth in an attempt to breathe.
Wherever you were being dragged to, it wasn't your home any longer. You covered your mouth with your palms, not doing much but giving you some sort of feeling that gave just the slightest bit of hope you wouldn't drown while being carried away. Was this really a reality? Or is it a dream? It feels too real to be one. The thing holding you was more than real, given that it looked at you from time to time. Your lungs didn't last long, and you started to lose consciousness, your vision blurring out most things around you. It was too much silence.
Wherever you were going to get dragged to, you just hoped it would have some air pocket space. This was the least you could think about before everything suddenly went dark, a warm embrace amongst the sudden cold in the deeper sea. It felt…Comfortable… The light was getting far too close for your liking….
𓆝~°^•*`°•End of prologue⌕`*•°^`•𓆜𖤐
@artistkeval , your blorbo.
FEESH, am I right? 🤔
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autistic-katara · 8 months
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TELL ME MORE ABOUT CATRIONA!!! what's she like . can i squeeze her like a stress ball and put her in a blender
AAAHHH TYSM FOR ASKING !! (made it kinda long oops)
anyways uhh not sure what u want to know but her birthday is the 22nd of July, she’s 15 years old, she’s lived her whole life in Scotland, she’s lesbian, she was raised non-religious until she was placed with a hyper-christian foster family (her parents died when she was 11 // religious trauma frfr), she has a little sister named Francis who she was separated from after her parents died, one of her earliest memories is watching her dad try and learn arabic from a family friend (his parents were west asian immigrants who gave him up for adoption when he was a baby so he never got to learn his parents language), she has ptsd from what happened to her in her foster home + her parents dying, she was the second person in the group to leave home and find the flat (the first being Liam), she loves cats (there’s a stray who sometimes sleeps inside the stairwell of the apartment building, she named her Faye), all she wants is to find her sister, she doesn’t cope with her problems well (none of them do), she hates the scars on her legs (scared of what others would think but glad it’s unlikely anyone’ll see them), she’s autistic (undiagnosed bcz the system sucks), she straightened her hair everyday for almost 3 years because her (white) foster family couldn’t be bothered to figure out how to take care of curly hair, she and Ella start dating after a good few months of living together in the flag (she wonders what she would think of her scars, she knows she wishes Liam would stop), she often wonders how long it’ll take to fuck-up the little family of the 6 of them (forcing her alone again), she hopes it won’t happen for a while, she’s scared it’ll be her fault.
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merildae · 4 months
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Some self indulgent (and undoubtedly cringe) skk angst
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sleepsucks · 3 months
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Warning. The following contains references to SH in Arc3. Please be carefull if this might be triggereing to you!
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Okay here the update on my personal au now containing Arc3 i hope this will be readable its all gotten a bit small! I am just making a whole new post for this updated version so its all in one place
Sorry if its hard to read id recommend reading the light and dark parts top to bottom on Arc3
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hajihiko · 1 year
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Violent Impulses
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fivewholeminutes · 3 months
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A Series of Small Offerings
PART ONE -8- The Way That You Were
To tear that knife from what once / Would have been dead fingers
I have. Struggled a lot with this one, but I am glad it is done. I've had this idea rotating in my brain for a month and I have tried starting it at least 3 times both traditionally and digitally before I decided to turn it into a cut out, because I feel the most confortable making cut outs, actually.
HUGE, ENORMOUS shotout to @copper-sands / @ancientbygone for being my hand anatomy expert!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Without it this piece would look way worse <3
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dxiifut · 1 month
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windslar · 25 days
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ezsdiary · 7 months
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the healing process of $h sucks, it's so itchy
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the urge to tear apart my body until im pretty enough to be loved and cherished and cared for
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darth-sonny · 11 months
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To be fair leo is fuckin massive, so he probably still could pick up post growth spurt kirby.
Just a lot less gracefully than before probably lol
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Leo can still 100% carry that little potato. they're still pretty little to him anyway
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bbviiwg · 4 months
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Regret
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I fucking wish I wasn’t such a baby
cause if I wasn’t, my body would be covered in scars and I would probably like myself more
I want to cvt all over but I’m terrified of my parents finding out
and I can’t wear long sleeves in the summer because I have issues w/ thermal regulation (if I get too hot I freak out and have a meltdown)
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bloodielavender · 4 months
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the urge to just kill myself right now, i might just do it at this point
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