Discord Highlights: Hobbit Babies
This discussion got very chaotic very quickly lol but I've done my best to sort it all by category. Enjoy!
Topic One: Sam's Kids
InvisibleWashboard:
If I’m allowing myself the privilege of indulging in AU where Frodo doesn’t leave, I often imagine Elanor calls him [Fro]. But she is the only one who is allowed to.
meg is me:
"Fwo"
Frodo, lifting a cup in his hand: "throw?"
"No! Fwo!"
novelmonger:
I've been imagining Elanor calling him "Unca Fodo."
And then there's "Unca Mewwy" and "Pip-Pip." (Pippin tries to get her to call him Uncle too, but it doesn't work. He's not Unc-y enough 😂)
InvisibleWashboard:
Stop it I’m dying from cuteness.
meg is me:
Can you imagine when elanor was born and sam was like all tender and amazed and he was like "lets call him frodo" and rosie was like. She's a girl, Sam
And Sam was like..... so excited to name his son frodo that he forgot it might not be a son XD
Me:
I love that he canonically didn’t even consider that she MIGHT be a girl until she came out as one 🤣🤣 “We were all set to name him Frodo! But, well, ah. He’s a she. :-C”
meg is me:
I love sam
Bless sam
I desperately hope that Sam's son Bilbo was 10x worthy of the name 😂
Me:
Bilbo Gamgee was an utter gremlin
Writing Valkyrie:
He just recites poetry to get out of punishment. Sometimes it works.
meg is me:
"First he's robbing the pantry. Next he'll be robbing dragons- THAT'S MY WEDDING RING"
Me:
Bilbo Jr. tells his friends about how he, too, won his ring in a game of wits against a nasty, ugly creature while Sam is over there waiting for him to give his wedding band back like >:-C
meg is me:
Better yet
His older siblings
And they half believe him because quote "Daddy is rather ugly" and Elanor gets SO offended on dear old Sam's behalf
Elanor could be overheard hugging her dad and saying "don't worry you're very handsome"
Sam just laughs
Me:
“Well your mother thinks I’m handsome, and that’s all that matters ;-)”
Cue the chorus of “EWWW”
Windmill to the Stars:
100% something my dad would say XD
meg is me:
It's split between ewwww and awwww
Bby frodo ships his dad and mom so hard and is ecstatic to learn that they have in fact gotten married to each other
Me:
“So you’ll be together?? FOREVER??”
“Indeed we will, lad!”
“8-D”
Frodo Jr. ships his mom and dad almost as hard as his namesake did
InvisibleWashboard:
So Frodo-lad is not the little boy who is disappointed when he learns he can’t marry Rosie when he grows up, but was baby Elanor initially devastated when Rosie had to tell her, “You can’t marry Sam-dad love, he’s already married to me.”??
Me:
Oh my word I love that ahaha
Elanor is 100% a daddy's girl
Windmill to the Stars:
In the epilogue she calls him "Sam-dad"
InvisibleWashboard:
Sam-dad and Rose-mum just absolutely freaking melts my heart every time I think about it. I don’t know why.
meg is me:
He loves his family so so much
Me:
See I know it says in the epilogue that Frodo Jr. is the spitting image of Sam, but part of me can’t help imagining that he looks like Elijah Wood’s Frodo…
Brown curly hair and all that
meg is me:
Speaking of facts disproved by the appendices but true in my bones
Merry and Pippin Gamgee are twins
Me:
oh my word I love that
InvisibleWashboard:
I like that this is true in your bones and not in your heart. Because the heart is fickle and can be changed by things like canon. Bones are more stubborn. Sometimes not even canon can break them.
meg is me:
I adore that they aren't named Meriadoc and Peregrin but rather Merry and Pippin
Sam took his dad's advice to heart- if you give them a short name you don't need to worry about nicknames
Guess old Gaffer learned from needing to shorten his son's names to Ham, Sam, etc
Me:
“I’m not giving my boys those fru-fru gentlehobbit names, they’ll have short names like sensible folk”
meg is me:
Pippin casually mentions to Sam if it's a boy maybe we'll name him Aragorn Strider Elessar, Gorn for short
And sam is an inch away from taking custody of Pippin's unborn child
Me:
HAHAHA PIPPIN NO
Topic Two: Merry's Kids
InvisibleWashboard:
I head canon Merry being that way with his kids only he desperately wants a girl so he can name her Eowyn.
meg is me:
Merry has Boromir, Eomer, and like 3 other sons before baby Eowyn comes into the world
Me:
Would Merry even feel worthy of naming a son Theoden?? I feel like he’d want to, but…
meg is me:
Ok but bby Theo
With his little curls
InvisibleWashboard:
Theodoc.
meg is me:
Theodocuments
Me:
THEODOC I LOVE IT
NO LISTEN I AM 100% ADOPTING THEODOC INTO MY BELIEF SYSTEM ‘CAUSE IT JUST F I T S
Windmill to the Stars:
Part of me wants Merry to half-jokingly ship his daughter Eowyn with Faramir Took. Partially just so he and Pip can share grandkids
Me:
There’s no canon evidence that to disprove that some OTHER pair of their children ended up getting married! X-D
Topic Three: Pippin's Kids
meg is me:
I wrote a fic where Pip had a daughter named Sable because my best friend at the time was named Sable and the only place the word sable was found in lotr was in regards to Pip's tower guard uniform
Me:
That's so sweet oh my word
meg is me:
Pippin in many ways will never mature and I love him for it
I'm still stuck on him and diamond naming their kids the most obscure things after Merry stole all the Friend Names besides Faramir
The tooks already sound Outlandish
Pippin and diamond would be that couple who wants to choose Unique baby names but their friends keep reining them in
"Let's name him TREEBEARD"
"hmm and Enta for a girl"
Sam: do you HEAR YOURSELVES
Windmill to the Stars:
What nickname would Pippin give to his son Faramir?
Kasey Gondor:
Furry
Me:
Progressively shortened more and more until it’s just “Ra”
InvisibleWashboard:
Faramir refuses any and all nicknames anyone attempts to give him ever.
Windmill to the Stars:
Faramir is "Me, an Intellectual" from an early age XD
meg is me:
He started "courting" lil Goldilocks at age 7 and Sam wants to be mad but it reminds him so much of him and Rosie that he lets Faramir Took pick the flowers from his garden to give to his daughter
Goldilocks: daddy fair-meer picked MY flowers! 😄
Sam: ....we planted those together, sweetheart
Sam: beyond pleased for you, lass
Me:
Sam sitting down with little Faramir Took and having a Very Serious Talk that if he intends to court sweet little Goldilocks he’ll have to be very kind and good and generous to her and always look out for her good above his own even if it’s hard and it hurts
Faramir was like 9, and all Sam was concerned about was Faramir pushing her and pulling her hair and stealing the berries out of her picnic basket, but it stuck
Years later, after the wedding, Faramir tells Sam that he’s never forgotten that talk and it absolutely changed his life and Sam is like “wot” cuz he’d forgotten all about it
InvisibleWashboard:
NO STOP IT THAT IS TOO CUTE
Windmill to the Stars (re: nicknames):
Ferry to rhyme with Merry, and lil Faramir HATES it
meg is me:
THIS IS CANON TO ME
STARTING NOW
InvisibleWashboard:
That is so good I adore it!
meg is me:
Pippin: "hop in the cart fam we're going to Buckland"
everyone looks at faramir
Faramir: "don't"
Pippin: "We're gonna go on the FERRY"
Me:
EYYYYYY
Merry, meanwhile, calls him Master Faramir, and this is why Merry is his favorite uncle
meg is me:
perfection
InvisibleWashboard is @invisiblewashboard, novelmonger is @novelmonger, Writing Valkyrie is @writingvalkyrie, Windmill to the Stars is @windmilltothestars, Kasey Gondor is @captaingondor, and meg is me does not have tumblr :-3
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twst as things me and my friends have said on discord part 2
(warning: nsfw language and mention of religion)
Riddle: What does monster energy taste like?
Silver: I don’t know, I guess it would depend on the type of monster? And what sort of energy it has.
Silver: WAIT DID YOU MEAN THE DRINK?!
Sebek: [laughing]
~~~
Cater: Anyone else have glass bones and paper skin?
Ortho: You guys have skin?
Floyd: What’s skin?
Lilia: I believe it’s when you feel deeply connected to a character to the point where you believe you are that character, whether reincarnated from a past life or from an alternate universe.
Idia: No, that’s kin. Skin is when someone makes rapid noises or movements while feeling an intense emotion, usually autistic people do it.
Azul: No, that’s stim. Skin is when something is extremely similar to another thing, to the point where they’re practically the same.
Vil: No, that’s akin. Skin is when you quickly read a page of words without properly processing them in your mind.
Jade: No, that’s skim. Skin is when you go into water.
Silver: No, that’s swim. Skin is when something or someone turns around in circles repeatedly.
Yuu: No, that’s spin. Skin is when you commit a crime against religious laws.
Ace: No, that’s sin. Skin is like updog.
Deuce: What’s updog?
Ace: Oh not much, what’s up with you?
Trey: Great job everyone.
~~~
Yuu: Power move: flirt with the waiter.
Ace: How is that a power move? What if you were male and the waiter was also male? (Or if you were female, and the waitress was also female?)
Deuce: [blushing] Oh my god, they were male and male…
Jack: [also blushing] Oh my god, they were female and female…
~~~
Lilia, texting: Get over here sulfur
Lilia: SILVER I MEANT SILVER
Sebek: SULFUR?!
Malleus: [sends a pic of actual sulfur]
Malleus: This is what he looks like when Crewel’s done with him.
Lilia: [loses his shit]
~~~
Deuce: What does “fap” mean?
Yuu: It means poggers
Deuce: Oh okay :D
[later]
Deuce: HEY HEY
Deuce: YOU DID BIG LIE. BIG.
Deuce: FAP DOES NOT MEAN POGGERS.
Yuu: >:)
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I gotta ask but how long has the butt anon been around? Like every once in a blue moon i will see this lad/lass post and wonder if they been like this since S1.
Kinda reminds me of the shitposters on some The Boys threads who spammed the thing with Maeve dirty feet... cuz i assume butt anon much like feet posters have a peculiar fetish-- yet more weird.
It only started in 2023, to my knowledge. It just feels unfair that this person remains anonymous, so I can’t reciprocate and spam their inbox with some of my stupid hyperfixations, like putting HL in an ever smaller box, letting HL go into a box and trapping him in there like you’d do to a cat then opening it and finding out the hard way that he was claustrophilic and liked being in there all along, and… idk, keeping butchlander as chibipets in a glass cage and observing their vie quotidienne. And wanting said anon to weigh in on all these important matters.
But to really replicate the effect, I’d have to write walls of text about it and imply anyone who doesn’t enjoy these niche things is just not seeing the light / fandom has overlooked the truth.
Personally was never a big fan of the diamond shit lore because it implies no one will ever enter there (which, tragic), and lands heavily on the side of bottom!billy (which isn’t my preference and I mostly only enjoy as noncon <- this is a very normal healthy sentence, don’t quibble with it). Plus, i hate to argue with this, but we have seen no evidence in the show that anything is coming out of his body at abnormal rates or abnormal compression pressures— at least not semen, nor tears. Unless anon is implying he’s been infertile because he’s been turning his sperm cells into sludge before exit. Oops I say I hate to argue but I started to anyway 😩
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