#family mental health treatment near me

[newdawnfamilyhealing]

New Dawn Family Healing, your partner in comprehensive family mental health treatment in St Louis MO. We believe in a holistic approach to healing, focusing not just on individuals but on the entire family unit. Our dedicated team of professionals is committed to providing compassionate care and evidence-based therapies to support families in their journey toward mental wellness.

New Dawn Family Healing 711 Old Ballas Rd #203, St. Louis, MO 63141 (314) 470–9178

My Official Website: https://newdawnfamilyhealing.com/ Google Plus Listing: https://www.google.com/maps?cid=7062190844174420769

Service We Offer:

Individual Therapy Family Therapy Group Therapy Family Coordination

Follow Us On:

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/NewDawnFamilyHealing/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/new_dawn21250 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/newdawnfamilyhealing Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/newdawnfamilyhealing/

[hoclinical]

H & O Clinical PLLC

Website: https://www.hoclinical.com

Address: 2025 Central Park Avenue, STE 203, Yonkers, NY 10710 and 10 North Wood Avenue, STE B2, Linden, New Jersey 07036, USA

H & O Clinical PLLC specializes in telehealth services, offering a comprehensive range of medical solutions including family medicine, mental health services, and various health tests. With a focus on virtual consultations and a commitment to personalized care, they cater to non-emergent symptoms and chronic disease management. Their services extend to weight loss programs, medication management, and more, ensuring accessible and quality healthcare for all.

Keywords:

Telehealth services

Online ADHD treatment

Virtual healthcare

Online weight loss programs

Hormone replacement therapy online

Telehealth services near me

Hair loss treatment online

UTI telemedicine

Women's health telehealth

Family medicine online

Sinus infection telemedicine

Smoking cessation telehealth

Telehealth for high blood pressure

Virtual healthcare near me

Telehealth medication refill

Diabetes management online

Telemedicine for anxiety and depression

mental health teleconsultation

non emergent symptom treatment

chronic disease telemanagement

virtual health tests

teleconsultation for asthma

womens health telehealth

mens health virtual care

std teleconsultation

a1c blood sugar testing online

cholesterol management telehealth

telehealth for acid reflux

hypothyroidism online treatment

erectile dysfunction teleconsultation

premature ejaculation online help

birth control teleconsultation

addiction medicine teleconsultation

online telehealth services usa

virtual healthcare solutions arizona

mental health teleconsultation california

family medicine online colorado

non emergent symptom treatment connecticut

chronic disease telemanagement delaware

online weight loss programs district of columbia

telehealth medication refill florida

virtual health tests georgia

telemedicine for anxiety and depression idaho

online adhd treatment iowa

telehealth for high blood pressure kansas

diabetes management online maine

teleconsultation for asthma maryland

sinus infection telemedicine montana

womens health telehealth nevada

mens health virtual care new hampshire

std teleconsultation new jersey

a1c blood sugar testing online new mexico

cholesterol management telehealth new york

telehealth services arizona

virtual healthcare california

mental health teleconsultation colorado

family medicine online connecticut

non emergent symptom treatment delaware

chronic disease telemanagement district of columbia

online weight loss programs florida

telehealth medication refill georgia

virtual health tests idaho

telemedicine for anxiety and depression iowa

online adhd treatment kansas

telehealth for high blood pressure maine

diabetes management online maryland

teleconsultation for asthma montana

sinus infection telemedicine nevada

womens health telehealth new hampshire

mens health virtual care new jersey

std teleconsultation new mexico

a1c blood sugar testing online new york

cholesterol management telehealth oregon

mental health teleconsultation near me

family medicine online near me

non emergent symptom treatment near me

chronic disease telemanagement near me

online weight loss programs near me

telehealth medication refill near me

virtual health tests near me

telemedicine for anxiety and depression near me

online adhd treatment near me

telehealth for high blood pressure near me

diabetes management online near me

teleconsultation for asthma near me

sinus infection telemedicine near me

[ktempestbradford]

Jumping off of what I said in this post about having to dismantle certain toxic ideas about myself, I realized that folks might not know how deeply not being a straight, white, cishet, able-bodied, Christianized male (aka the Dominant Paradigm) in the West messes you up mentally. It's a huge mental health problem that isn't always addressed.

When I started up my latest round of therapy I began to acquire labels for some of the ways I acted or reacted to situations. One day in session I was like: Was that a trauma response? It was, wasn't it? And my therapist confirmed. What confused me is that I didn't think I'd experienced trauma.

The idea I had of trauma was some Major Incident in which something Very Bad had happened to me or near me. Or it was about being in abusive situations, usually at home. The kind of ways trauma is depicted in the media.

Then I came across a Twitter thread in which the person said that everyone needs therapy, especially marginalized people, because the way Western society works, anyone who is not the Dominant Paradigm or doesn't hew closely to it is constantly being harmed by society.

Are you BIPOC? Racism is almost everywhere, and where it is, it's constant. It's also not always KKK-level in your face racism; it's more often wave after wave of microagressions on top of whatever challenging condition you're in due to historical racism. In other words: Chronic.

Are you neurodiverse? Good luck not being overstimulated by allegedly benign activities like going to the grocery store. Good luck not being criticized on a daily basis because you can't act "normal". Try holding down a job that expects you to sit at a desk for 8 hours yet you can't even sit in a quiet environment because the asshole CEO read that open office plans make employees more productive.

Are you anywhere under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella? Welcome to the constant barrage of invasive questions from strangers, invasive laws, invasive religiosity... Once again, an allegedly benign activity (going to the bathroom in public) can be a damn crucible if you don't look like the "right" kind of woman or man. Have fun navigating the medical system when you want affirming health care.

I could go on. Disabled people, poor or working class people, fat people, any people who have been historically marginalized and oppressed all experience this. It is trauma. It is harm. It does affect us. But it's Chronic and Systemic. That's the crux.

Because we have to keep on going even with all this. It's every day and it's not easy to escape. So we "deal with it." Some of us have good coping strategies and or supportive family (bio or found) and that really helps. It doesn't alleviate the overall problem. Thus, we all need therapy (so the OP of that Twitter thread concluded).

I don't know that we ALL need it. And I for sure know that some mental health practitioners and therapy frameworks are quite harmful to marginalized people. I'm very lucky in that I have a great therapist and the treatment I'm getting is informed by my identity and background, not ignorant of it. Not everyone has that or has access to it.

What I do know is that we all need Community. True community offers true support, which is necessary for healing.

We also all need to know that our mental health struggles and our trauma are real and valid, even if they don't look or manifest the way we've been conditioned to recognize them. Don't let anyone invalidate your experience or mental health struggles because you don't fit into a specific, wrongly-labeled box.

And don't let anyone tell you that this society isn't out here traumatizing you, because it is. Society doesn't need to be this way. But here in The (European Colonizer Created) West, that's what those with more power have chosen for the rest of us. And it sucks.

I have nothing but hugs and empathy for all the other people out there experiencing this. The only piece of advice I have is: Find community, hold on tight to each other, be that oasis of Okay that others need and they'll be that same oasis for you. <3

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

~*~

1. Hello! I don't know if you'll get this by then but happy valentine's day! (Or belated) I was wondering if i could be led to a compilation of Good Person/ Parent Yu Ziyuan if you have one. It's hard to find any Wwx & Yu Ziyuan relationships in ao3 since the tags are mostly sarcastic 😂 anyways thank you!

some things go forward by everythingispoetry (T, 73k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hospitals, Teenage Drama, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending) yzy is a very good mother to wwx in this! Content warning for cancer treatments and hospitals, but overall a fluffy story.

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 138k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) She starts still on the side of /harsh/ but nowhere near canon levels, and gets better as the story goes. There's also the actual Good Parent Yu Ziyuan (and the one conjoined with JFM) tag on Ao3

Still Waters by PorcupineGirl (G, 6k, wangxian, canon divergence, cloud recesses study arc, YZY pov, protective YZY, arranged marriage)

~*~

2. Any recommendations with the Xuanwu of Slaughter theme? @izamoonie

Cave Survival (or: how the Xuanwu cave could have gone) by cerbykerby (T, 6k, WangXian, Trope Fic, Alternative Events, Canon Compliant, forced stripping, Almost-Crackfic, Pining, Pining LW, JOblivious Wwx, Almost-Drowning, kiss of life and other tropes, Humor, Fluff, Romance)

won't you let me know you now by tardigradeschool (T, 12k, WangXian, Star Trek Fusion, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Mutual Pining, Telepathy, Vulcan Mind Melds, Pre-Relationship, very background 3zun, Protective Siblings, Friends to Lovers)

Outside Another Yellow Moon by Vamillepudding (T, 10k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Fairy Tale Elements, Hurt/Comfort, LWJ Needs a Hug, Curse Breaking)

~*~

3. Helloooo!! For the next IITMF, I'd like to request these :

A) fics where Lans are protective of WWX. (e.g. Hoards and Treasures)

B) omegaXian being pregnant and everyone's doting on him (especially Lans)

C) fics where WWX is famous for his invention/books/cultivation etc. (bonus if his parents are alive/he's not a part of the Jiang)

Thank you so much ✨ @utxqia​

3A)

Cluster of Clouds by Nika_Raven_Celeste (T, 19k, wangxian, LQR & WWX, JC & WWX, time travel, post-canon lans time travel, cloud recesses study era, confused WWX, soft LQR, soft LWJ, not JC friendly, not YZY friendly, genius WWX, horny LWJ, oblivious WWX, WIP) I think this one counts as protective Lans?

3B)

bridge & shelter by RennieOnIceCream (Hitsugi_Zirkus) (T, 3k, wangxian, ABO, pregnancy, mpreg, unplanned pregnancy, alpha LWJ, omega WWX, comfort, cuddling & snuggling, scenting, light angst)

3C)

To Respect a Scholar by FlautistsandPeonies (G, 5k, wangxian, WWX & LQR, genius WWX, not JC friendly, author WWX)

~*~

4. good day (or night)! I am in search of fics where wangxian are each other's firsts, like they are in canon. first love, first kiss, etc. preferably ratings M or E, but I won't mind anything else. thank you!!

my life’s journey is far from over by thelastdboy (E, 148k, WangXian, Modern AU, Canon Divergence, Madam Lán Lives, JYL Lives, WQ Lives, Post-Sunshot Campaign, POV WWX, Slow Burn, YLLZ WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Modern AU but not too modern™, mlm/wlw solidarity, Kink Negotiation, Kink Exploration, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, WWX Lives, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, Single Parent WWX, Selectively Mute LWJ, Eventual Smut, Light Dom/sub)

Half a Bottle of Emperor's Smile by wuzhishan (E, 20k, WangXian, Modern AU, Romance, Fluff, Pining LWJ, Oblivious WWX, Love Confessions, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, College/University, First Time, A Typical Modern Day No-Angst Get-Together Fluff Fic)

Somebody With Whom to Dance by failedcharismacheck (T, 2k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Dancing, Slow Dancing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff)

In This Reality (it could only be you) by Khashana (E, 5k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, fluff and porn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Oblivious WWX, Lan Disciple WWX, very light somnophilia, blink and you miss it really, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Alpha-Alpha Sex, Rut Sex, Knotting, no dubcon, Alpha LWJ, Alpha WWX) (I hope the requestor is okay with ABO!) ((Also this I think was the response for a fic finder from before that I cant find 😵 I hope that person sees these tags and clicks on this fic!)

Sweet Ink Nothings by monarch_v (G, 2k, WangXian, High School, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, Secret Admirer, Friends to Lovers)

Rumor Has It by Ulan (T, 4k, WangXian, Getting Together, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Canon Divergence, spoiler warning, CQL-Verse, Fix-It, we were robbed in the ending)

For a Good Time, Call by ScarlettStorm, 1st in series (E, 170k, wangxian, modern, getting together, pining, porn, onlyfans au, sexworker WWX, minor angst, mental health, therapy is good) despite the sex worker Wei Ying tag, WY is only physically with LZ and it’s quite sweet

Teach Me The Ways by likeafox (E, 58k, wangxian, canon divergence, porn with (is) plot, much smut much feelings)

~*~

5. Itmf for fics where lwj is hurt or injured and wwx tames care of him? Im happy with Canon or AU!

Some strange magic by deliciousblizzardshark (M, 15k, WangXian, Fantasy, Witch WWX, Wizard LWJ, Major Character Injury, Sex Magic, Dual Cultivation, Love Confessions, Fluff and Angst, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Horny LWJ, Trust Issues, despite these tags, There's actually very little smut)

Careful hands by deliciousblizzardshark (M, 10k, wangxian, canon divergence, BAMF WWX, protective WWX, hurt LWJ, genius WWX, angst, hurt/comfort, getting together, first time, LWJ pov, not a fix-it)

my bones into your bones by butterflylungs (M, 17k, wangxian, post-canon, case fic, established relationship, whump, hurt/comfort, protective WWX, angst w/ happy ending)

~*~

6. bonjour! est-ce que vous avez des fics avec Xiao Xingchen, Song Lan, et Xue Yang, mais ils ne sont pas romantique? merci beaucoup!! (Soft translation - Good morning! do you have fics with Xiao Xingchen, Song Lan, and Xue Yang, but they are not romantic? Thanks a lot!! - Mod C)

Au demandeuse/eur/aire du #6: faut-il qu'il soit en français ? La seule fic que j'ai trouvée en français sur AO3 qui liste même les trois est MDZS en passant par les UA, par TsukiyomiHimeKuran (E, 13k, wangxian, modern, fantasy au, college/university au, high school au, no powers au, stripper au, who framed Roger rabbit setting).

To the querent for #6: does it have to be in French? The only fic I’ve found in French on AO3 that even lists all three is MDZS en passant par les UA, by Tsukiyomi HimeKuran

~*~

7. Hi! ITMF Yunmeng bro reconciliation while they are physically rebuilding Lotus Pier? Ie fics that focus on cutting wood, building houses, setting cobblestones, regrouping with any survivors, breathing the life back into their home.

~*~

8. I'm in the mood for fics like Piecemeal Souls by hypermoyashi

~*~

9. Hi there! 👋 so I have a request for itmf and im not sure if any of you will have much luck because, as often as fic of this general theme is requested, there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of fic written for it. So! Being a little bit more specific here: are there any fics (modern or canon au) where lqr is a jerk to wwx and then, when he realizes he was wrong, actually has to apologize and work to be forgiven? I've noticed a lot of fics where he's not a great person to wwx usually end with "but he loves babies and a-yuan so I guess he has to tolerate wwx now 🤷‍♀️" and I hate it lmao thank you for any help you can give me!

Hello! I was the asker for #9 in the latest itmf. I just finished reading hope blooms and it was good! But lqr wasn't even mentioned at all in it? So not really what I was looking for 😂 maybe my request was just misread but I'm looking for fic with lan QIREN messing up and then having to work for forgiveness, not lan WANGJI. Sorry for the trouble and thank you so much!

hope blooms by orphan_account (T, 3k, WangXian, Hanahaki Disease, Pining, Amnesia, Epistolary, Fluff, with a soupçon of angst I guess?, idk i feel like we all calibrate angst differently, Happy Ending) not sure if this may work for Requestor ?

What Comes After Love by Rainbow_Horizon (T, 17k, WangXian, POV LWJ, Protective LWJ, LWJ Has Feelings, POV WWX, Sad WWX, Jealous WWX, Módào Zǔshī & The Untamed Combination, Post-Canon, Insecurity, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Break Up, Separations, Healing, Husbands, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, marriage issues, Marriage Proposal) Asker, let us know if this works !

Deeper Seasons by piecrust (G, 8k, LQR & WWX, WangXian) I completely misread LQR as LZ 💀 sorry abt that 🙈here is another offering!

Judge Softly by Chrononautical (E, 32k, wangxian, LSZ & WWX, LQR & WWX, accidental voyeurism, non-consensual mind reading, oblivious WWX, bamf   WWX, genius WWX, post-canon Fix-it, angst w happy ending, LQR tries)

I'm Sorry & Thank You by Iamnotawriter (T, 12k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, lqr's epipheny, Angst with a Happy Ending)

~*~

10. Hi! I wanna know bout fics where a junior has a puppy crush (that doesn't go anywhere) on wwx. Or no crush but they admire him so much they are constantly hyping him up the way ljy is with lwj. Thanks!!

❤️ The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, wangxian, possession, cohabitation) not a crush per se but ljy is in awe of Wei ying

🧡 I Don't Want to Debut! by countingcr0ws (G, 56k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reality show, Idols, Actor LWJ, Forced Contestant WWX, Tencent's 2021 Idol Producer) same thing here where it's not a crush but the juniors are amazed by Wei ying (modern au no cultivation but the Wei ying awe is real!)

~*~

11. Hi mods! Hope you're all well! For your next ITMF, could anyone rec me a fic similar to Three Together by catty_the_spy? I fell in love with it but I've not found any other fics with that kind of premise. Thank you!

~*~

12. I'm looking for trans man wwx

Trans WangXian Comp

Butter My Biscuit by LikeAFlamingKiss_Consume (E, 23k, WangXian, nonbinary!LZ, Transman!WY, Mpreg, WWX Has a Pregnancy Kink, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Sex, LWJ Has a Pregnancy Kink, ace spectrum WangXian, WangXian Have a Breeding Kink, Consensual Somnophilia, discussion of transphobia, Hints of dysphoria, Lactation Kink, Breastfeeding, Giving Birth, I guess a bit of sadism?)

strange feeling by siwona (M, 605, WangXian, trans man wwx, cis mxy, Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda?)

butter my biscuit by ariskamalt (E, 2k, WangXian, Modern AU, Trans WWX, Established Relationship, Cunnilingus, Consensual Somnophilia, Temperature Play, PWP)

it was the fault of the lips by luckymarrow (E, 15k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, First Time Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, trans!wwx, cis!lwj, Getting Together, Deepthroating, Safe Sane and Consensual, Cunnilingus, Fluff and Smut, Misunderstandings, Communication, Transphobia, trans!WQ, Comedy, Romantic Comedy, Sex Toys, Sex Talk, gender euphoria, Masturbation, non-sexual nudity, Squirting, Come Eating, Creampie, Barebacking, Coming Out, Porn with Feelings, Porn With Plot, Switching, Pining while fucking)

our shadows fall away like dust by lamusadelils (T, 4k, LQR & WWX, LQR & LWJ, WangXian, Modern AU, POV LQR, Trans WWX, Supportive LQR, Graduate Student WWX, Coming Out, trans feels, Family Feels, all the feels, Found Family)

Wangxian are Married and Have a Son (But Not Necessarily in That Order) by mercyandmagic (M, 24k, WangXian, Unplanned Pregnancy, trans wwx, Disappointing LQR, Gender Dysphoria)

It is a serious thing just to be alive by Itgoeson (E, 57k, WangXian, Time Travel, Trans WWX, Established Relationship, Angst with a happy ending)

~*~

13. Hey, can you please rec fic(s) where LWJ fucks up badly and WWX does NOT forgive him? And maybe makes a fam of his own w/o LWJ?? @utxqia

To Be Filial by Samstagram903 (G, 3k, past WangXian, WWX/OMC, LWJ/OFC, Modern AU, Break Up, Sad Ending, Depends on Who You Ask, LWJ POV) LZ leaves WY because of 'Duty' and WY moves on 😌

drunk walk home by Anonymous (G, 760, WangXian, Mentioned WangCheng, Cheating LWJ, Sad WWX, Break Up)

drivers license by AG1234VL (T, 11k, WWX/Other, WangXian, LWJ/LQY, Modern AU, Hurt No Comfort, slight comfor?Non-Chronological, Song fic, Crying WWX, ice cream and beer, breakup weight gain, Lots of Crying, Angst, Homophobia, from lqr, wangxian breakup) Good breakup fic (for me is a we ain't never getting back together WWX and sad bunny LWJ). Chap 1 is breakup sad WWX. Chap 2 is happy WWX/ I've made a horrible mistake LWJ.

Infidelity AU Series by Asmayi (M, 38k, WangXian, WangYu, XianNing, Modern AU, Hurt No Comfort, Sad WWX, Cheating, Infidelity, Emotional Infidelity, OOC, Professor LWJ, Engineer WWX, Student MXY, Teacher-Student Relationship, College/University, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Heavy Angst, Married WangXian, Mental instability, Break-Up, Divorce, Not MXY Friendly) The first fic is pure agony and not meant for wangxian lovers. The following fics have WY moving on and finding happiness in a family of his own. There's also a fic with alternate timeline where LZ doesn't fuck up, for wangxian lovers.

~*~

14. Hello✨✨✨ i tagged you in a post but just to be sure, i'm sending this as an ask too, can you pls help us find this fic?

(The OP talks about how if novel and cql wangxian met cql wangxian would all be up in arms bc novel lwj married some rando while novel wwx laughs and enjoys the ensuing chaos)

I think it could be either a mood for or a ficfinder so just put this wherever's next if it's not a bother thank you💕💕 @evadingreallife​

💙 feel better love by Anonymous (T, 8k, WIP, WangXian, implied WangXianXian, Post-Canon, Crack Treated Somewhat Seriously, in a haha jk...unless? way, Light Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Crack, Crossover)

Key Differences by pupeez4eva (T, 5k, WangXian, Humor, Dimension Travel, Crossover, Drama!WWX meets Novel!WWX, Public Confessions, Post-Canon)

We always get what we deserve!(Doesn't matter even if you think you don't deserve it. Fate has mysterious ways!) by Ajareenlovesbtsandshinee (Not Rated, 16k, WIP, WangXian, Post-Canon, CQL WWX and MDZS WWX Exchange places, Happy Ending, Post-Canon Fix-It)

The Young, the Horny, the Jaded and the Jade: Partners in Time by Admiranda (M, 43k, WIP, WangXian, Established couple, Crossover, road trip with your older selves, teasing your younger selves about their obvious crushes, yin iron does yin iron things, mdzs/cql crossover, adult wangxian, Teenage Wangxian)

I don't know if any of these are the fic you are looking for specifically but they do have MDZS WangXian meeting CQL WangXian - Mod C

~*~

16. *Holding out a tin cup to the ITMF crowd* A) Wen Ning and the Juniors? Spare Wen Ning teaching and traveling with the Juniors? The juniors supporting and standing up for Wen Ning? Wen Ning being adopted by the kids from various sects, perhaps? Just a crumb of Wen Ning and the Juniors for this poor old beggar?

B) Also, if at all possible -- fics where Wen Ning becomes a sect leader? The particulars don't matter, I just loved Wen Ning becoming Wen-Zongzhu in Time Is But A Paper Moon and now I have a mighty need for more.

Thank you in advance! @lewiscarrolatemybrain

16A)

Waiting On The Night Hunt by JustAWanderingBabbit (G, 50k, Grudging Respect Friendship, Inappropriate use of lightning storms) post-canon; Wen Ning gradually earns the respect of cultivationdom, chaperoning the juniors, helping out on night hunts, teaching cultivational alchemy to Lan Jingyi, and cleaning up some unfinished business of Xue Yang’s

intertwined with

Pieces of Us by JustAWanderingBabbit (Not Rated, 32k, dead characters being dead, Mostly Canon Compliant, Snark, Implied Violence, Happy ending.) the same storyline from sapient fierce corpses Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue’s POV

different people with a common pain by littledust (G, 2k, LSZ & WN, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Minor OCs get (non-graphically described) cholera but they get better!) in the course of their post-canon uncle-nephew bonding trip, Wen Ning and Lan Sizhui investigate a village’s spate of mysterious deaths; the solution lies in Wen Qing’s legacy of healing

seances are not forbidden in the cloud recesses by EHyde (G, 611, Fluff, [Podfic] seances are not forbidden in the cloud recesses by sisi_rambles) Lan Qiren discovers that Wen Ning has volunteered as a test subject for the Lan juniors’ Inquiry practice

Two fics in which the Juniors throw WN a surprise birthday party:

When Flowers Bloom, the Heart does too by DepthOfMusic (G, 1k, WN's Birthday, WN-centric, Cinnamon Roll WN, One Big Happy Family)

And

gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder by lao_you_tiao (G, 3k, WangXian, WN/Happiness, Birthday Presents, Birthday Fluff, Fluff, One Big Happy Family, Post-Canon, Slightly sassy WN)—along with Wangxian

The Energy of Youth(s) by Laylah (E, WN/Junior Quartet, Sex Magic, Group Sex, literal healing cock, First Time for Everyone, Fierce Corpse Sex, Protect the Ghost General at All Costs) if you’re up for a raunchy take on your request, has the Junior Quartet infusing vital yang qi into WN in a sexual quintuple-cultivational ritual

16B)

Mending the Pieces by JustAWanderingBabbit (G, 98k, 3Zun) sequel to Waiting on the Night Hunt and Pieces of Us. WQL, although not exactly a Sect Leader, is by then in a position of authority and respect, running a non-sectarian night-hunt training camp on Lake Caiyi; his young students include the 3Zun, reincarnated, and an adult LSZ and JL take part in the adventure.)

~*~

17. Hello, hello! Hope you have a wonderful day/afternoon/evening. I was wondering if you have a list of "Wei Ying being adopted by other MXTX couples" or even couples that are not MXTX (ex: WenZhou). There is no list for that, no ~Mod L If not, I guess this could go to "I'm in a mood for...". Anyways, thank you for your hard work 🤠🤠

the hearth series by eccentrick (G/T, 65k, WangXian, HuaLian, Found Family, fluff with plot, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Disabled Character, Ableism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, WWX Isn't Adopted by the Jiāngs, slow burn found family, Adopt WWX, Married HuaLian, Post-Canon TGCF, Kid Fic, TGCF Spoilers) "a warm coal in the hearth of our hearts" by eccentrick and "the hearth" series in general

The Young Masters of Four Seasons Manor by gaotamao (G, 91k, WangXian, WenZhou, YeRong, Time Regression fix-it, WKX raises monstrous sons, Not Jiang Sect Friendly, No Golden Core Transfer) or the one specific one I know where WenZhou parent Wangxian that I liked

Spirited Away series by PhantomWriter (T, 45k, wenzhou, WKX & WWX & ZZS, wangxian, canon divergence, WOH crossover, adoption)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what  you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack,   whatever - it’s all good!***

[forbidden-salt]

Breaking the Silence; My Mental Health Story for Worldwide Suicide Prevention Day

By ForbiddenSalt

9/10/2024

Trigger Warning: This blog post discusses suicidal ideation, depression, and mental health struggles. If you are in a vulnerable state, please read with caution, and know that support is available through resources like 988, friends, and loved ones.

Resources and helpful tools for self and loved ones provided below the fold.

My Story:

Suicide Awareness Day holds a deeply personal meaning for me. For years, I struggled silently with suicidal thoughts, depression, and anxiety, unsure of how to ask for help or whether I deserved it. Sharing my story now is not just about raising awareness, but about offering hope to anyone who feels the same weight I once carried.

At the age of 13, I began to experience something many people are hesitant to talk about—suicidal ideation. But it wasn’t until I was in college that I truly realized how dangerous those thoughts had become.

I remember one day when I was walking across campus from class to my dorm, lost in thought, and accidentally stepped off the curb without looking. A car was coming toward me. Instinctively, I jumped back, avoiding an accident. But what happened next startled me more than the near-miss. As I stood on the sidewalk, tears welled up, not because I was relieved, not because I was scared—I was upset that my instincts had saved me. I realized I wasn’t crying because I had narrowly avoided getting hit by a car; I was crying because, in that moment, I wanted to be hit. It would have been an "accident"—a way out without me having to act intentionally.

It dawned on me that this was something much more serious than I had admitted to myself.

This wasn’t the first time I had experienced suicidal thoughts, but it was one of the most shocking moments. I knew I needed help. I sought out a counselor at the campus health center and, for a time, tried therapy. When I went home for a break, I spoke to my doctor, and she prescribed me an SSRI. I confided in my family and was met with mixed reactions—some were supportive, while others expressed concerns about the medication, urging me to stop taking it as quickly as possible. This set up an internal battle for me; I began starting and stopping my medication over the next few months, caught between fear and shame; and eventually quit all together.

Suicidal ideation lingered in the back of my mind for years. I wished for a pause button, a way to make the world stop so I could catch my breath and somehow not fall behind. I dreamed of getting hurt or sick enough to be hospitalized, just so I could take a break from life’s demands. But I never let myself act on those thoughts.

It wasn’t until my mid-20s that things got so bad I returned to therapy. This time, it was different. My new therapist helped me understand that I wasn’t “crazy”—I was carrying the weight of childhood trauma and years of struggling to survive. She diagnosed me with complex PTSD, and for the first time, I felt understood. Her support gave me the strength to make significant changes in my life, including moving to a new state.

There, I found another therapist who continued to guide me through the ups and downs. I started back on an SSRI and have stayed on it ever since. Through this process, I realized that what I had been dealing with wasn’t just emotional—it was also biological. My body wasn’t producing enough serotonin, and my chronic illnesses, were compounding these mental health struggles by denying my body the tools to make its own serotonin and through the weight of the symptoms. Especially for a while before there was any answer or treatment plan in sight.

I went through EMDR therapy, talk therapy, and put in the hard work to heal. I focused on my physical and mental health, fighting for answers and for my life. Slowly, I began to reclaim control. I started to recognize the warning signs of passive suicidal ideation and created an action plan for when those thoughts creep in. I don’t go to therapy as often now, but I still have touch-base appointments in case something changes.

Through this journey, I’ve learned so much about myself and the nature of mental illness. Depression, anxiety, and PTSD were not signs that I was lazy or difficult, though I was often labeled as such. They were symptoms of a much deeper issue. I wish people could see that depression isn’t a mindset or mood and suicidal thoughts are not selfish—they are the final, fatal symptom of a disease.

It took a long time for me to accept that what I went through wasn’t my fault. I wasn’t to blame for the trauma I endured or the way my brain and body responded to it. And if you’re reading this and find yourself in a dark place, I want you to know you are not alone. I know what it’s like to stand in the darkness for so long that it starts to feel like home. But I also know that it is possible to fight back, to heal, and to find hope again.

If you can’t fight for yourself right now, I encourage you to reach out to someone—anyone—who can sit with you in your pain. Let them help you find a therapist, a doctor, or simply help with daily tasks. It might not be the person you expect. For me, one if my company leaders had noticed my depression and helped me find a therapist. I had a best friend who sat with me over the phone while I sobbed broken hearted, encouraging me to seek help if I needed it. That going to the hospital if I needed it wasn’t shameful or weak but brave and admirable. It was my grandmother, who spoke to me daily, reminding me of my faith and offering love when I couldn’t love myself and felt those I loved most didn’t love me.

Faith also played a huge role in my healing. I’ve had my share of questions and anger, but my belief that God could handle my questions and my rage helped me through some of the darkest times. I questioned why my life was going the way it was, why I was feeling the way I did, if He knows everything before it happens, if he’s all powerful why didn’t he step in to change the course of my life away from this. My questions turned to anger and I had to keep reminding myself that God had shoulders big enough for my anger, my tears, my pain. That I could toss all of it at him and he’d still see me still, love me. I never doubted his existence, and honestly to this day I still don’t have all the answers but I’m sure one day I’ll understand and I’ve realized I was still loved even when I couldn’t see it.

My family eventually came around too. Even my dad, who I had thought didn’t believe me, recently admitted how scared he had been for me after he had kept his fears hidden for years since it had gotten bad. We were able to talk and he listened, shared his point of view, and made the effort to understand. He allowed me to assure him I was safe now, I was doing better, and it’s changed our relationship for the better. While I had found my way to stability without knowing if my family believed or supported me, learning my family did care enough to worry, cared enough to learn, and loved me enough to listen even if what I said was hard to hear meant the world to me.

If you’re struggling, know that there is help out there. Call 988 for support, reach out to friends, hug your dog or cat, cling to your faith—whatever gets you through the next moment. Each day is a step, and that’s enough. It doesn’t have to be a leap—it just has to be forward.

Resources for support below:

Here are some coping strategies:

1. Box Breathing: This simple technique can help reduce anxiety. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, and pause for four. Repeat until your heart rate slows and you feel more grounded. You can do this while on a video call too just let your eyes glide along the edges of the screen while you hold and breathe.

2. Straw Breathing: Another great calming tool—take a deep breath in, and then slowly exhale like you’re blowing through a straw. It mimics the relaxing response of the parasympathetic nervous system and helps you focus.

3. Journaling: I started journaling, reminding myself it didn’t have to be perfect. It was just for me. I stopped feeling guilty if I skipped days or weeks and let the words flow when I needed them. If you struggle with journaling, try creating an anonymous blog where you can rant and vent without worrying about dates or continuity. I have a separate Tumblr just for this—a void I can yell into when I need to.

4. Bilateral Stimulation: Butterfly taps—crossing your arms and tapping on opposite shoulders—helped calm me during moments of stress. This was especially useful during EMDR therapy, which became one of my strongest tools.

5. Creating a Routine: I used to go to the gym to cope before my chronic illness made it harder, so I shifted to art as a form of expression. Creating anything—whether it’s a routine or a creative outlet—can make a difference.

6. Boundaries and Emotions: Learning boundaries and reconnecting with my emotions was vital. One book that really changed my perspective was Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly, which helped me embrace my anger as a valid emotion. Learn how to advocate for yourself and establish boundaries. This takes time, but it’s one of the most empowering things you can do for your mental health.

7. Prioritize Yourself: Make time for what you need—therapy, the gym, a bath, or a doctor’s appointment. And allow yourself to rest. Your mind and body will force you to stop if you keep ignoring the warning signs.

8. Taking Shortcuts: Too tired to make a proper meal? That’s okay. Eat food however it comes—deconstructed meals are all the rage anyway. I’ve had moments where lunch was just handfuls of cheese and lunch meat. The goal is to nourish yourself, and sometimes that means being kind to yourself about how you do it.

10. Create Safety Nets: If you're heading somewhere that could be triggering, plan for it. What’s your exit strategy? Can you bring a comfort item, like a fidget toy, a blanket, or a stuffed animal? Having a plan can give you a sense of control.

11. Redirecting Negative Thoughts: When I get caught in negative thoughts, I ask myself if these thoughts are helping me process emotions or if they're just hurting me. If I’m not ready to process them, I work on redirecting my focus to something more helpful.

13. Emotional Support Animals: If you can, get an emotional support animal. My mini schnauzer has helped me through so much, even though she doesn’t know it.

How can I help a loved one:

1. Listen First: Before jumping to solutions, take time to listen. Validate the person's feelings, and let them process before suggesting how to fix things. Most of the time, they already know the solution; they just need space to work through it.

2. Stop Shaming Mental Health: Be mindful of how you talk about mental health. I’ve overheard loved ones shaming people for being "selfish" or "foolish" for being depressed, anxious, suicidal and even those that did commit suicide not knowing how often it was on my mind. Those words made it even harder to speak up and ask for help.

3. Fear and Guilt Are Not Helpful Tools: Fear and guilt are not effective motivators when it comes to mental health. I once told someone close to me that I didn’t believe people who commit suicide go to hell. Just as someone who passes from cancer doesn’t go to hell for how they died, I believe the same for depression—it’s an illness. They responded that they hoped fear of hell would keep me from acting on those thoughts. I explained that, by the time someone is ready to act, they likely don’t care anymore. The weight of the pain is overwhelming, and fear or guilt won’t pull them back.

4. Recognize the Signs: Suicidal ideation, passive suicidal ideation, and suicidal plans are all dangerous and need treatment and support. It may begin with passive thoughts like, “I wouldn’t mind if I didn’t wake up tomorrow,” but those can shift into active planning if left unchecked. Just because someone hasn’t acted on it doesn’t mean they don’t need help. Depression doesn't always look the same for everyone. It could be messy rooms, low energy, or a lack of interest in things that once brought joy. It could also look like reckless behavior, withdrawing, or joking about death. These subtle signs shouldn’t be brushed off—they’re as important as overt cries for help and worth a check as little as “hey you keep making these jokes, I just want to make sure you really are okay?” If someone is talking about feeling hopeless, giving away possessions, withdrawing from loved ones, or engaging in risky behavior, these are red flags.

5. Offer practical support: Whether it’s helping with daily tasks, providing a ride to a therapy appointment, or just sitting quietly with them, practical support can be a lifeline.

6: Encourage professional help: Gently suggest therapy, medical care, or other professional help if the person hasn’t already sought it. Be patient and compassionate, understanding that reaching out can be terrifying for them.

7. Be present: Sometimes the best thing you can do is just be there. Your physical and emotional presence can provide comfort, even when there are no words.

If you have a loved one who you worry is going through something, or has confided in you and you are worried for them. Don’t wait. Speak to them. Ask them how you can help, what’s going on, listen. If you’re afraid for them, even after they have gotten to the other side, don’t let your fears tear at you for months, tell them then listen and trust that when they say they are good, have come out the other side have an action plan for when they notice the signs - belive them. If you can’t let it go still, seek your own support. The fear of loosing someone you care about is worthy of attention. If you’re reading this because someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, thank you for caring. Supporting someone with suicidal ideation can be incredibly difficult, but your presence matters more than you might realize.

If you or someone you love is struggling, find Resources for Support:

1. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Dial 988 for immediate help in the U.S. Available 24/7.

2. Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.

3. The Trevor Project: Focused on supporting LGBTQ+ youth, The Trevor Project offers crisis intervention and suicide prevention services. Text START to 678678 or visit their website.

4. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): NAMI provides free, confidential support for mental health concerns. Call the NAMI Helpline at 1-800-950-NAMI or text NAMI to 741741.

5. The Jed Foundation: Focused on mental health support for teens and young adults, the Jed Foundation works to protect emotional health and prevent suicide. Visit jedfoundation.org for more information.

6. The Veterans Crisis Line: Veterans and their loved ones can call 988 and press 1 or text 838255 for confidential support. Available 24/7.

Suggestions for Keeping Yourself Safe:

1. Create a safety plan: Write down a plan for when suicidal thoughts occur. This could include calling a trusted friend, therapist, family, distracting yourself with an activity you enjoy, or going to a safe place where you can feel grounded and making an appointment with your doctor.

2. Reach out to a support network: Whether it’s friends, family, or a therapist, let someone know how you’re feeling. It’s important not to isolate yourself when you’re struggling.

3. Remove means: If you’re feeling unsafe, remove items that could be harmful or ask someone you trust to hold onto them temporarily. There is no shame in this ever.

4. Practice grounding techniques: When suicidal thoughts take over, try grounding yourself with techniques like deep breathing, focusing on your senses, or engaging in mindfulness exercises. These can help bring you back to the present moment. Call on your faith if you need to to get by, play with your pet anything to help you get grounded and move through the feeling

5. Remember that feelings pass: In the heat of the moment, it can feel like the pain will last forever. But emotions are temporary, and feelings—even the darkest ones—eventually pass. That feelings are normal and natural and have no moral judgement, feel it, acknowledge it, and let it move through knowing another feeling will come your way take its place.

Recovery isn’t pretty, and life isn’t perfect; but you are worth fighting for.

[she-karev]

Intervention (Marina Angst Imagine)

Previous Part Here

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Two of Three

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Characters: Carina DeLuca and Maya Bishop

Canon Episode: Season 17 Episode 1

Mental Health Resources: https://www.nami.org/, https://www.aacap.org/, https://www.dbsalliance.org/, https://afsp.org/

Summary: After breaking down in Maya’s arms Carina calms down and talks to her about what happened with Maya offering advice on how she can help her brother. She then holds an intervention for Andrew who breaks down in tears.

Words: 1740

Maya brings two cups of earl grey tea to Carina on the couch. She calmed down after crying in Maya’s arms for ten minutes. Maya was able to change into Carina’s pajamas so she can be properly dressed while getting to the bottom of her girlfriend’s dilemma. It surprised Maya how Carina cried and sobbed in her apartment because usually Maya is the one in their relationship to be near to tears. But it’s not gonna stop her from being a good girlfriend to a woman who deserves all the love in the world that hopefully Maya can give her from now on.

Carina is still sitting on the couch in her living room looking down at her hands in torment. Maya puts the tea in front of her on the coffee table before sitting next to her. Maya takes a sip before starting.

“So, are you ready to talk about what’s wrong?”

Carina sighs and takes a beat before looking at Maya with red rimmed eyes. She clears her throat that is hoarse from the sobs, “You remember how I told you my dad has bipolar one?”

Maya nods, “You said that.”

“Well, my…” Carina sniffles and sips her tea to calm down, “My sweet baby brother has inherited it.”

Maya nods keeping a neutral face, “Okay well mental illness is scary but we’ve both seen it on the job and know that with the right treatment he can control this.”

Carina whimpers, “He doesn’t want to, he’s convinced there is nothing wrong with him but everything is. He spent the last two years being madly in love with his girlfriend, asking her to move in and worshipping her. But in the past two months he has verbally lashed out at her, kicked her out, ignored her calls and did everything our father did to our mother when he first started getting worse. I know this because I shielded Andrea from that when I could and maybe…maybe if he saw it, he would see he is repeating the pattern.” Carina starts to tear up, “And when he screamed out loud that his patient was being trafficked it was like seeing my papa at his absolute worst. He was right the patient was being trafficked but the way he acted and the way he handled it…it isn’t how the Andrea I grew up with would have helped that girl. And now…now he’s at a low that always comes after the mania and I don’t know what to do.”

Carina grabs a tissue and wipes her tears away and blows her nose while Maya rubs her back in circles to keep her centered, “I don’t know what to do.” Carina repeats in a broken voice.

Maya looks at Carina with sympathy understanding where she is coming from, “My brother has problems too. Mason was the black sheep in the family, everything he did pissed my dad off, him coming in third, him quitting track, him taking up art. I was the daughter for him to bask in the glory of my medals while my brother was the artistic idiot who couldn’t do anything right by his book. And even when I did everything right it still wasn’t enough for the man but Mason had it worse.” Carina holds Maya’s hand while she continues, “Running was like a drug for me and for Mason…drugs were his drug. I was so busy trying to please our father and winning at all costs that I didn’t pay attention when he ran away from home until it was too late. The last time I saw him was two years ago when I found out he was living on the streets. I tried to make things right, I offered to let him live with me but he was stubborn like your brother is. I gave up after that because I couldn’t force Mason to overcome his problems…but I still could have let him know if and when he wanted help, I would be there for him.”

Carina looks at Maya in awe before she continues, “When Jack had PTSD, we were worried and we wanted to help so we held an intervention for him. It was a bust but eventually he saw the problem and we helped him get better. I think it helped that he had a room full of people who wanted to show him that it was okay to have an illness. It helped that he could see despite what he thinks he has a family to help him back on his feet. I think your brother needs that because from what you told me he is going further down the rabbit hole and needs to get out.”

Carina shakes her head tearing up, “I-I can’t, he’ll hate me I know he will.”

Maya kneels down on the floor grasping Carina’s shoulder for support, “I know your scared but he needs help.”

“I tried he won’t let me.” Carina reminds Maya with a lump in her throat.

“He needs more help than you can give him from people who know what to do. He needs to see that he can get a handle on this otherwise he will never be the brother you know and love again.”

Carina shakes her head again, “He’ll hate me.”

“No he won’t, he doesn’t. Once he hears how much this is hurting you, he will realize he needs help. And when he does, he’ll love you for getting him out of his bad place, I know he will because it’s how I felt after I admitted what my dad did to me was abuse.”

Maya carefully wipes a stray tear from Carina’s cheek, “I don’t know if I can do this to him.”

“You’re not doing anything to him you’re doing this for him. Right now, you’re the only one who loves him enough to do this for him. Okay?”

Carina takes a moment sitting on the couch inhaling and exhaling before nodding slightly, “Okay.”

The Next Day

Carina almost backs out of the intervention she is currently leading right now when she sees how broken and scared Andrew looks when he steps into the room and realizes what is going on. She thinks about doing what she did as a child with their papa and bring him to bed, feed him when he gets hungry and wait for the depression to pass and the happy mood to return. But she knows she can’t, she knows that it would just repeat the pattern and her fears would come true. So, she stays, perched on the arm of a chair, gripping the notebook in her hands so hard that her knuckles turn white.

She tried to get his ex-girlfriend Amber Karev to be there hoping seeing her will make him see the hurt in her eyes that he caused. But she said no stating she has been hurt enough by him and she knows when to walk away from more pain. At first, she was angry when Amber walked away but as a daughter of a mentally ill man, she understands the frustration that comes with it. And with her brother Aaron inheriting her mother’s illness and Andrew lashing out when it happened to him it’s understandable, she would be burned out. She only hopes her, Bailey and Webber are enough to make him see the truth.

She regrets saying no to Maya’s offer to be there with her, missing the firefighter’s presence as she observes her brother’s pale face and drawn features, immediately reluctant to participate in this charade. She closes her eyes for a moment and tries to hear Maya’s voice in her head, telling her that she is doing the right thing and reassuring her that everything will be okay.

All eyes are on her as she stands and reads the words that she and Maya spent all night writing and rewriting agonizing over what words to use. She can barely look him in the eyes at first, frightened of seeing hate or anger, but when she begs him to accept their help, she looks straight at him, her eyes pleading with him and silently asking that he hears her.

She gets nothing back, just mild disdain that he is being put through this nonsense.

Doctor Webber is next and he tells Andrew that he’s special – and he is, Carina has always thought so. Then Bailey tries to appeal to him telling him about her OCD and how she manages it with therapy and medication, but every time they tried, they hit a wall.

Soon he admits he feels shame for breaking the only goal he had in life that mattered, not ending up like their father. His explanation breaks her heart, because all he wants is to not be like their father and she knows that he isn’t anything like Papa, but the illness is overwhelming, it always has been. She tells him that, but he rejects her and gets angry and she understands that anger more than anything because she feels it herself.

He grips the door handle to leave but his emotions become too much and he ends up banging the door closed, over and over again, and it makes her jump because he has always been the calm one compared to her fiery nature. She watches him slide to the floor and he goes to comfort him like she did when they were kids and he could get scared hearing their parents’ fight. She sits beside him and remembers Maya’s words and asks him to let them help him. To trust them, to trust her to take care of him when he can’t take care of himself.

Carina feels the love for him in the room and she prays that he can feel it too. And finally, he relents and he leans into her, like he did when he was small, curling into her and letting her clean the tears from his cheeks. They are blocking the door but no-one rushes them to move, and Carina soothes him in their native Italian, promising him that everything is going to be okay and willing herself to believe it as much as him.

After what seems like an eternity he finally relents and says okay, allowing himself to get into treatment. Carina sniffles and pulls her baby brother in for a hug, finally feeling like things are going to be okay for them.

[joy-the-poet]

Bucket List Revision

As I near the end of my life, I assess my bucket list and ponder its completion.

Okay, so I didn't get to go to see the snow in Canada but, I did get to see fields of powder snow in the Victoria mountains. Twice, actually. Once at 12 and once at 23. So that sits pretty well with me.

I started therapy nine years ago, after completing treatment for Stage 3 breast cancer. Once I got the all clear, I fell apart and had to be hospitalised for my mental health.

That's when I decided to become comfortable in my own skin. No matter how it makes others feel.

Hence, a year ago, after a long process of deliberation, I cut off contact with the maternal side of my family.

For the first time in my life I feel free to be me.

It's an absolute disgrace that I was diagnosed with advanced cancer last year. I was planning on filling my life with pansexual shenanigans, not fucking cancer!

Yep, so, that's pretty much the bucket list I had. A ski trip to Canada and a life filled with authenticity and love. I'm glad it's the latter that I feel I achieved.

[wishbrightdreams]

Weekly Check-in: September 20th 2024 💭

Happy Friday everyone! This week we had a partial lunar eclipse. 😯 I didn’t see it where I lived (didn’t know if you could), but I definitely felt the energy from the event. This happened to me during the solar eclipse back in April too.

⭐️ What I Accomplished:

* Almost done with my hospice volunteer training course, I only have a few modules left, I started taking a food handling course for the volunteering but I found out that I actually don’t have to take it 😅

* Took the stuff I wanted to get rid of to the local Buy & Sell and library, thanks to my mom getting the ball rolling for me

* My skincare has gotten better this week, I was more diligent about it and just missed a few times

* On the weekend I rescued two baby raccoons from the dumpster! They were trapped and the condo board person was out of town so I managed to rescue them on my own (I just put our step ladder in the dumpster for them to climb out)

* During that same weekend, I managed to clean my nightstand! It was filthy

* A really exciting family business opportunity came to us this week! I can’t say much about it, but it could potentially change our lives if it works out! I believe I manifested this opportunity with my affirmations

* Got out of the house twice this week, even though I felt tired and over stimulated (this is a big deal for me)

* Updated to iOS 18 on my phone and other devices, been excited to try out the new features

😅 Things That Could Have Gone Better:

* As I mentioned up above, I felt over stimulated this week. I really need to go to an energy healing treatment but I have to wait until my money comes in next week

* My mom surprised me with some alcohol she got, I ended up drinking every night this week (only one glass, but still)

* My mood dipped (hence the reason for drinking this week) and I was worried it was leading to a depression episode, but thankfully it improved! My meds are working

* Could have completed my volunteer course work this week, but my mental health slipped a bit so I didn’t get it done

* My food cravings ended up me getting McDonalds this week because of emotional eating

🗓️ Plans For The Weekend:

* Have a mental reset day

* Reorganize Pinterest boards (for the millionth time lol)

* Get some reading done

* Learn more about the new iOS18 features and declutter/organize phone & iPad

* Do weekend chores

* Write out to buy list for next month

This week was a mixed bag to be honest! I can’t believe that it’s nearing October! Like what?! I’m not that into Autumn really, I get to much anxiety and my mood starts to dip in the colder months. I do love the coziness of it all though! I’m a Spring girly first and foremost.

See ya next time, dreamers! ✨

[beardedmrbean]

A doctor warned three years before the Nottingham attacks that Valdo Calocane's mental illness was so severe he could "end up killing someone", the BBC can reveal.

This was one of a series of missed opportunities over three years that could have prevented the killings, Calocane's mother and brother told BBC Panorama in their first interview.

The doctor's warning appeared in a 300-page summary of medical records the family received only after Calocane was sentenced for the killings, which they have shared with Panorama.

The chief executive of Nottinghamshire's NHS trust said he would do everything he could to stop such a tragedy happening again.

Calocane was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in 2020 and was sectioned four times in less than two years.

In June 2023, he went on a rampage through the streets of Nottingham, killing students Barnaby Webber and Grace O’Malley-Kumar, both aged 19, with a knife as they returned from a night out, before stabbing to death Ian Coates, 65, near the school where he worked as a caretaker.

Calocane then stole his van and crashed into three other people, inflicting serious injuries.

The warning was given by one psychiatrist while the medical team reviewed Calocane on the ward and was set down in medical records held by Nottinghamshire NHS trust.

Elias and Celeste, Calocane's brother and mother, said the mental health system was "broken" and led to a "tragedy that could have been prevented".

The BBC has also learned:

In autumn 2020, Calocane admitted lying to doctors earlier that year about no longer hearing voices so that he could be discharged from hospital, but was not admitted again until nearly a year later

In 2022, the community mental health team discharged Calocane to his GP because he was not responding to them - on the same day an arrest warrant for him was issued over the assault of a police officer

Calocane's longest stay in hospital during his four admissions was seven weeks, despite being twice eligible for stays of up to six months

His family say they only discovered he had been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia months after the attacks in 2023, and more than three years after he had first been diagnosed

The Calocane family wants a public inquiry, but is also calling for urgent reform of mental health services

First section: 'I hear voices'

Elias Calocane told the BBC he first became aware that something was wrong with his brother, who was studying mechanical engineering at the University of Nottingham, during one of their regular phone calls in May 2020.

The family said Valdo Calocane had previously shown no signs of mental illness as a teenager or young man.

"He was just crying on the other side of the phone for 40 minutes," Elias said. "Finally, he said to me, 'I hear voices'."

Calocane's first admission for mental health treatment came on 25 May after two incidents when he broke into neighbours' flats, believing his mother was being raped inside.

He was prescribed medication by doctors for a psychotic episode and released from custody by police. His mother, Celeste, asked the mental health team to keep him until she arrived from Wales, but her pleas were ignored.

His family said this was the first of the missed opportunities to prevent someone being hurt, because he was not admitted to hospital until after he had carried out another break-in.

An hour after his release, Calocane tried to get into another flat. The woman inside was so terrified she jumped from a first-floor window to escape and was severely injured.

He was arrested again and this time taken to Highbury Hospital in Nottingham under section 2 of the Mental Health Act, which meant he could be kept in hospital against his will for up to 28 days - known as a "section".

Second section: 'No insight or remorse'

Four weeks later, Calocane was still hearing voices and believed they were coming from another neighbour’s flat. Again, he tried to break in.

He was sectioned again, this time under section 3 of the Mental Health Act, which allows for a longer hospital stay of up to six months.

According to the medical records, at a July 2020 meeting with health and care professionals while Calocane was ill in hospital, a psychiatrist observed that "there seems to be no insight or remorse and the danger is that this will happen again and perhaps Valdo will end up killing someone".

Forensic psychiatrist Dr Richard Taylor - who has not treated Valdo Calocane but has treated people with serious mental illness and been an expert witness in more than 150 court cases - said that in his 30 years in the field, he cannot recall ever seeing such a remark written down in medical records before.

“If a psychiatrist is committing themselves to a serious risk of homicide, then I think that’s something I would expect to be taken very seriously,” he said.

But two weeks after this entry was made, Calocane was discharged from Highbury Hospital.

Upon discharge, a formal diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia was sent to his GP.

His family, who were in regular contact with mental health services, say they were not informed of this diagnosis and instead believed he was still suffering from isolated episodes of psychosis rather than a long-term mental health condition.

Third section: 'Prove his power'

The medical records show that in the autumn of 2020, Calocane admitted to his community mental health team that he had lied to doctors at Highbury Hospital earlier in the year about no longer hearing voices because he was “tired” of being there.

He told them he could still hear the voices, that they “talk to each other about him”, and suggest he should “prove his power.”

But he still insisted he wasn’t mentally ill, believing the voices he heard were real people who were intelligence agents and police officers.

He was prescribed a higher dose of his medication. Although he had told the team that his mental health was improving by spring 2021, his mother contacted them to say she was worried that he was becoming “unwell” again.

In September 2021, Calocane was sectioned for a third time. Police arrived at his flat in Nottingham and he punched an officer three times.

After five days in seclusion and three weeks in psychiatric intensive care, Calocane was transferred under section 3 of the Mental Health Act to an NHS-funded bed in the privately run Priory Arnold Hospital just outside Nottingham.

Less than three weeks after he arrived, a psychiatrist at the Priory reviewed Calocane and decided he was well enough to be discharged into the care of his community mental health team.

The Priory Group said discharge decisions are made in "accordance with statutory criteria" and that Calocane’s treatment and discharge into the care of his community team were "appropriate".

Fourth section: 'They wash their hands'

By January 2022, when he was sectioned for a fourth time after he assaulted his housemate in their student flat, Calocane had told his mental health team he did not want his family to know about his treatment and they were not told he had been admitted to hospital.

While in hospital, his community mental health nurse told doctors he had repeatedly missed appointments and not taken his tablets.

She said she thought he should be given long lasting injectable medication which would be beneficial in the long term, but that did not happen.

By that summer, the medical records show he was again missing appointments and in September 2022, the mental health team discharged him back to his GP. He had no more contact with them.

“Basically, they wash their hands and say, 'OK, that's it’,” said Celeste.

Dr Taylor told Panorama more should be done to make contact with patients who are not engaging.

"A letter on the doormat is really not effective," he said. “I think where there's been aggression, where there's been revolving door, repeated admissions, then to walk away from somebody or leave it to the GP because they're not engaging - that's something I find problematic. And I see it quite a lot."

The same day the decision to discharge him was made, a judge issued a warrant for Calocane’s arrest after he failed to appear in court over the earlier assault on a police officer. But police did not carry out the warrant.

The Independent Office for Police Conduct (IOPC) is investigating complaints made against Nottinghamshire Police by the families of Calocane’s victims. It said it cannot comment while the investigation continues.

Over the next nine months, Elias and Celeste said Calocane continued to distance himself from his family.

They said he told them falsely that he was living and working in Coventry, which is where they believed he was on the day of the killings.

The attacks: 'It's already done'

The night before the attacks Calocane called his brother. Elias said the call was “a copy” of previous conversations where he talked about his “delusions.”

At around 5am on the morning of the attacks, Calocane called Elias again. He picked up on the discussion they’d had the previous evening and told his brother to take the family out of the country, believing they were not safe in the UK because of his delusional beliefs that he was being controlled by the government.

"I asked him eventually, ‘Are you going to do something stupid?’ And he says, ‘It's already done’. And then he hangs up."

Elias told Panorama he was convinced that meant his brother was going to hurt himself, "that this would end in suicide".

But at the time of the call Calocane had already stabbed and killed the two university students, Barnaby Webber and Grace O’Malley-Kumar.

After the phone call to Elias, Calocane then went on to kill Ian Coates. He stole his van and drove into three other people, causing them serious injuries.

Five psychiatrists reviewed Calocane and the medical evidence in the case. They all agreed his violent behaviour was caused by mental illness.

Calocane was originally charged with murder. The Crown Prosecution Service changed the charge to manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility and he pleaded guilty. He was sentenced to an indefinite hospital order in January and told he would “very probably” be detained for the rest of his life.

That outcome caused deep anger and pain to the families of Barnaby Webber, Grace O’Malley-Kumar and Ian Coates.

In June 2023, Barnaby Webber, Grace O'Malley-Kumar and Ian Coates were stabbed to death by Valdo Calocane. Reporter Navtej Johal investigates his history of mental ill health and the care he received.

They believe Valdo Calocane, although mentally ill, knew what he was doing and should have been convicted of murder and sent to prison.

They were also angry about his sentencing and called for it to be referred to the Court of Appeal.

It found his sentence was correct and had not been unduly lenient.

Afterwards, Barnaby Webber’s mother, Emma, said in a statement: “We do not and never will agree that the vicious, calculated and planned attacks carried out were that of an individual who was at zero level of capability.

“We have never disputed that he is mentally unwell; however, he knew what he was doing, he knew that it was wrong; but he did it anyway. There should be an element of punishment for such a heinous act; alongside appropriate treatment.”

Brian Dow, deputy chief executive of the mental health charity Rethink Mental Illness, believes the state of mental healthcare in the UK has made tragic outcomes inevitable.

“Looking back, it was a question of when, not if. And unless we both invest and change the model of healthcare that we have, so we don't allow these crises to build up and build up, then there's the inevitable risk that this will happen again,” he said.

The victims’ families believe there should be a public inquiry. The Calocane family want one too and are calling for urgent reform to mental health services.

Elias said: “Yes, commission a public inquiry. Yes, we need some strong recommendations. But we can't just say, we'll just wait until it finishes how many years down the line and then do something about it then. Something needs to happen now.”

“There's a lot of Valdos out there at the moment and if we haven't got capacity to care for them I don't know what's going to happen. The system is not fit for purpose,” said Celeste.

A Care Quality Commission review of the care of Valdo Calocane by Nottinghamshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust (NHFT) is due to be published on Tuesday.

NHFT chief executive Ifti Majid said: “I have committed to do everything within my power to prevent such a tragedy reoccurring.

“We are working with our colleagues across Nottinghamshire Healthcare to continue to improve the safety and quality of our services for patients.”

Elias said he knew that nothing he could say to the victims' families “will ever be enough”.

“I can only say that I'm sorry, that we are sorry their lives have been so utterly destroyed.”

[royalhealingwellness1]

Massage Therapy: The Key to Unlocking Your Health and Happiness

In today's fast-paced world, stress and tension have become unwelcome companions in our daily lives. As we navigate through our busy schedules, it's essential to find effective ways to relax and rejuvenate. One such method that has stood the test of time is massage therapy. Whether you're dealing with chronic pain, stress, or simply seeking a moment of tranquility, Edmonton Massage Therapy can be the key to unlocking your health and happiness.

The Benefits of Massage Therapy

Massage therapy offers a wide array of benefits, both physical and mental. Regular sessions can help reduce muscle tension, improve circulation, and enhance flexibility. For those dealing with chronic pain conditions, massage therapy can provide significant relief by targeting specific areas of discomfort and promoting healing. Additionally, the calming effect of massage therapy can significantly reduce stress and anxiety, leading to improved mental health and overall well-being.

Why Choose Edmonton Massage Therapy?

If you're in Edmonton, you're in luck. Edmonton massage therapy offers a diverse range of techniques and treatments tailored to meet your unique needs. Whether you prefer Swedish, deep tissue, or hot stone massages, there are experienced therapists in Edmonton ready to help you achieve optimal health. These professionals are trained to understand the intricacies of the human body and can create personalized treatment plans to address your specific concerns.

Finding the Right Massage Treatment in Edmonton

When it comes to selecting the right massage treatment in Edmonton, it's important to consider your goals and preferences. Are you looking to alleviate chronic pain, reduce stress, or simply indulge in a relaxing experience? Communicate your needs with your therapist to ensure you receive the most effective treatment. Many Edmonton massage therapy centers offer consultations to help you determine the best approach for your individual situation.

Locating Massage Places Near Me

Searching for "massage places near me" can yield numerous options, but how do you choose the right one? Look for reputable massage therapy centers in Edmonton that have positive reviews and experienced therapists. Personal recommendations from friends and family can also be valuable. Additionally, consider the ambiance and environment of the massage center. A serene and welcoming atmosphere can enhance your overall experience and contribute to a greater sense of relaxation.

The Path to Health and Happiness

Incorporating regular massage therapy sessions into your routine can be a game-changer for your health and happiness. The physical benefits of reduced muscle tension and improved circulation are complemented by the mental benefits of reduced stress and enhanced relaxation. By prioritizing your well-being through massage therapy, you're investing in a healthier, happier future.

Conclusion

Massage therapy is more than just a luxury; it's a vital component of a balanced and healthy lifestyle. With the myriad of benefits it offers, from pain relief to stress reduction, there's no reason not to explore this holistic approach to wellness. If you're in Edmonton, take advantage of the skilled therapists and diverse treatments available to you. Start your journey towards better health and happiness today by booking an appointment at an Edmonton massage therapy center. Remember, the key to unlocking your health and happiness might just be a massage.

[pbjelly90]

Growing up, I thought I was fairly neurotypical, and didn’t really understand what it meant to be anything outside of that. I was never exposed to any information to help me figure out if I might be anything else. No one in my family was having open or compassionate discussions on mental health, despite our family’s complex history with it. But in the last six or so years I have noticed more and more behaviors of mine that lean towards the conclusion that I have some level of ADHD. Behaviors that I thought were maybe just my reactions to stress or aging suddenly have more explanation and show more of an understandable pattern.

I recognized I do a lot of masking and compensating for it, and maybe that’s part of why I’m often tired out? Or overstimulated and annoyed. Things like going into a noisy office or feeling like I’m bombarded by phone notifications. A noise in my neighborhood at an unexpected time. Some of this may be some level of my introversion, but it’s not only that. My focus in these situations is near impossible to maintain.

I’ve also been having memory issues and thought maybe at first some aging? But I’m only in my early-mid thirties (closer to mid I guess now) and that still seems young for how much I forget things. I still thought I was functioning pretty well, I can do things like pay bills and remember upcoming birthdays or events/appointments (but is my phone full of reminders for this? Yup.) I’ve just developed a lot of strategies to help myself. Post-it notes on the fridge and pantry if I have to fast before a blood test, putting items I need to bring with me right in front of my face somewhere obvious, that sort of thing.

But the other week, I left the stove on. Thank goodness my home did not burn down and everything is safe, but I left the stove on for over eight hours unattended overnight. The flame was burning so the CO was hopefully being burned off okay, but I came downstairs to a smell and some heat as I got closer to the kitchen and that freaked me out. What if something caught fire? What if the condo was full of dangerous gas? I Googled what to do and opened windows and turned on my air purifier, but it was a real scare to realize just how easily I could forget something so important.

The fear of repeating that might help me to remember not to make that particular mistake again, but it did leave a nagging worry, what if I do something similar? My family’s difficult history with mental health treatments has made me wary of medication, but maybe that’s something I need to consider for the future. I don’t normally share this much personal experience on here, but it did feel good to at least write this out. My next step I think will at least be to discuss this with my therapist.

I’m really grateful for the increased visibility these days into ADHD and neurodiversity as a whole. Without seeing more of people’s personal experiences with all these topics online, this level of understanding may have remained a mystery to me so much longer. Thanks to all who share and make those of us living with ADHD and other types of neurodiversity feel less alone and more understood and seen/heard. 💕

[dailyunsolvedmysteries-movedd]

The Severed Finger & The Disappearance of Diane Augat

The last time that 40-year-old Diane Augat was seen was on the 10th of April, 1998. She had been at her sister’s home in Hudson, Florida, when her sister went to a doctor’s appointment. When she arrived back home, Diane was gone.

Later that day, Diane was seen at the Hay Loft tavern at Little Road and State Road 52. The barman told Diane that he wouldn’t serve her because she was walking in circles and was presumably intoxicated.

Diane was reported missing by her mother, Mildred, and investigators launched a search for her. Mildred told investigators that her daughter had a bad habit of trusting strangers, and she had suffered from mental illnesses. Mildred feared that somebody had taken advantage of her daughter’s trusting nature.

Diane had been missing from almost a week when Mildred’s phone began to ring. At the time, Mildred hadn’t been home, but the caller had left a voicemail. When Mildred clicked play, she was stunned to hear her daughter’s voice. She fear in Diane’s voice was audible as she screamed: “Help – let me out!” There was then a scuffling sound as though somebody was grabbing the phone from Diane’s hands. The line then went dead.

The number on the Caller ID box said that the call had come from something called Starlight. Mildred attempted to call the number back but nobody ever picked up. “I think she knew who she was with,” Mildred said.

Less than 24 hours later, somebody was walking along the side of U.S. 19 near New York Avenue when they spotted something on the floor. Looking closer, they recoiled in horror to see that it was a human’s finger, with a red painted nail. The finger was identified via fingerprints as belonging to Diane.

With tears in her eyes, Mildred said: “She is in trouble. Big trouble. They’re probably torturing her.” She said that she feared that whoever had cut off her daughter’s finger was going to continue harming her until she was dead. “I’m hoping that she’s still alive, that they haven’t killed her yet…” she said.

The gruesome find meant that investigators had a specific area to focus their search on. The Pasco County Sheriff’s Office called in a  helicopter which scanned the area, but there was no other evidence of Diane. Sheriff’s spokesman Jon Powers stated: “Our case has to include the possibility of foul play.” He then added that they were considering other scenarios as well in which Diane could have somehow lost her finger accidentally and was still alive.

Investigators appealed to the public, and asked everybody to keep a look out for Diane, and if they knew anything about her whereabouts to get in contact.

For years, Diane’s life had been in a downward spiral. Years beforehand, her life had focused on her three children and her husband, Frederic Augat, who ran an assisted living facility in Land O’Lakes. Her sister, Denise, recollected: “She had $100 pocketbooks. She was pretty. There could be 1,000 people in the room, and you’d notice her.” But then in the late 1980s, Diane was diagnosed with manic depression. She was on medication, but still, Diane struggled. In 1998, prosecutors had filed child abuse charges against Diane. She was eventually acquitted of the charges, but further complaints were lodged against her by the Department of Children and Families. Eventually, Diane lost custody of her children. Child protective services believed that Diane was suffering from Munchausen by proxy syndrome, which led her to seek excessive and unnecessary medical treatment for one of her children.

In 1991, Diane and Frederic divorced, and he was granted full custody of their three children. Diane was left distraught, and her life began to unravel rapidly. Her mother recollected: “The crux of her whole mental health issue was losing the children. She put pictures of them on her refrigerator and would look at them and stand there and just cry and cry.”

As a coping mechanism, Diane turned to alcohol. She tried to find company at the local bar, and Mildred feared that she had struck up a conversation with somebody who had nefarious motivations. Diane did not drive, so she either walked, hitchhiked or got rides from friends. This led to fears that Diane could have been abducted. Diane had also stopped taking her medication, and had spent some time in a psychiatric facility. She had been taken into custody under the state’s Baker Act at least 32 times. Under the Baker Act, a judge, police officer or doctor decides whether a person is mentally ill enough to require involuntary confinement.

Less than a week later, convenience store manager Patricia Sblendorio noticed something tucked into the store’s outdoor freezer case. It was a bag of neatly folded clothes. Diane was a frequent patron of the store, so Patricia got in contact with her sister, Deborah Cronin. Deborah identified the bag of clothing as belonging to her sister as she had gifted her some of them.

Investigators were dispatched to the convenience store to recover the bag of clothing and enter it into evidence. Sheriff’s spokesman Kevin Doll said that the clothing could have been placed there by a group of juveniles that often hung out with Diane at her home on Chesapeake Drive in Odessa. Since her disappearance, the group of youths were accused of looting her home.

Eventually, the days turned to weeks, the weeks turned to months and then the months turned to years. Investigators spoke with more than 100 people and followed several leads, but each lead only led to a dead end. Mildred said in 2000: “A part of me is gone. I never accepted she was dead.”

In November of that year, Terry Wilson walked into the Circle K convenience store at 15837 U.S. 19 to purchase some items. She saw a clear, zip-lock plastic bag on top of the lotter corner and decided to pick it up. She walked outside and once inside her car, she examined the bag. The name “Diane” was written in black marker on the bag.

Terry’s heart skipped a beat. Terry was the girlfriend of Diane’s brother. Mildred identified the items in the bag as items her daughter would have owned: black eyeliner, Taboo perfume, and a tube of bright pink lipstick. The discovery offered the family a glimmer of hope that Diane could still be alive. Once again, however, the discovery only led to another dead end.

Over 24 years have passed since Diane Augat was last seen alive. Despite an extensive search, Diane still remains missing today.

[oraclememehacker]

So, I mentioned that I watched an NHK documentary that talked about Hikikomori's and how Japan has an issue of these people who have isolated themselves from society so much that they basically don't exist, and are dying because of it. Whilst a lot of the documentary goes into older individuals who had been relying on their aging parents and having that support structure suddenly disappearing, I think some of the stuff still applies to Futaba.

Mainly the reasons for why some of these people became how they were in the first place. A lot of the time, they went through a traumatic event, a family member dying or not having steady employment, or just losing their job because of various reasons that they basically gave up. I wish there had been more talk about the mental health aspect of it but I digress.

Futaba went through a hell of a traumatic event. She lost her support structure in her mom Wakaba, and got so gaslit that she believed that she was the reason for her mom's death. Combine that with the frankly abhorrent treatment that her family gave her, she withdrew and gave up on everything.

Another aspect that was talked about was how these people didn't feel like they deserved help and would actively refuse help even though they were on the verge of death. Whilst Futaba didn't go that far, she did feel like she didn't deserve to be helped and couldn't trust anyone, not even herself really. She was in a small bubble and couldn't see herself out.

And it's not like Futaba wasn't given some sort of help. Sojiro tried everything in his power to help. He tried to get doctors to see what was going on with her and to make sure she wasn't dealing with malnutrition presumably. The few times he was able to get a doctor to see her, she was apparently fine. Even though clearly she was going through hell mentally. But she was "fine" physically. Even though she had little energy, slept a lot and ate nothing but ramen, snacks, curry and energy drinks/coffee.

Sojiro ended up just having to give Futaba whatever she wanted whenever she wanted because he couldn't figure out what else to do to help her. Remember the whole aspect of Sojiro getting sudden phone calls and walking out?

That was kind of addressed in the documentary where you had these parents who basically did the same thing and it created a ton of stress and friction in the family. And once they died, the Hikikomori ended up going through whatever savings their parents had over time. (Sojiro had a lot of money thanks to the government, remember?)

Bare in mind though, Futaba also knew that she had stuff wrong with her and deep down knew the truth but buried it. She was searching out the truth through her Medjed account (that was what Medjed was before the government used it in their plot to trap the Phantom thieves. I wonder if that was a coincidence or not. That feels like a whole post on it's own though)

If Futaba hadn't gathered up the courage to get help through the phantom thieves, I believe she would have ended up like some of those who were mentioned; spending decades locked up in their room ( if she hadn't ended up dying because of her guilt before then.) forgotten, alone and falling through the cracks of society because there's only so much that social workers can do to help these people. Can't force them to get help, can't get them on disability, and so on.

I know this is all depressing to think about but man, watching that documentary made me think a bunch about Futaba and the real struggle that these sorts of people go through. And made me think a bit about my own reclusiveness. I'm not up to that point, nowhere near it but I do deal with not interacting with people a lot. But yeah, there's my rambling thoughts about Futaba once again. I believe Futaba's struggles were absolutely based on real life Hikikomori in some capacity.

[iron-bullogna]

I'm going to vent a bit about it here then. I'm a bit flustered so hopefully it isn't all over the place. Over my life I've experienced a lot of cruelty, primarily at the hands of white cis women and men. I grew up in a town of 1,000 people and my graduating class was 32. I went to the same school my entire life. The area was predominantly white and I mean that in a "I can count on my fingers and toes the amount of POC I encountered in my life before 18" way. I was also born AFAB. It was very clear from a young age I wasn't "normal". I have preschool paperwork highlighting my very obvious autistic traits (playing alone, organization, and at one point I could see from one quarterly report to the other how I taught myself to mask a behavior the aids noted as an issue, etc). My first "best friend" was a boy from the Ukraine who no one wanted to befriend because everyone assumed his English wasn't good. I can't even tell you how his English was because I don't remember that. I just remember he didn't care that I was a little weird and liked "boy" stuff and wore boys clothes when I could cause he liked "girl" stuff.

The boy and girl stuff mentioned here are literally as simple as Pokemon and Britney Spears. We were bullied by our peers, family, and parents for just being children. The only female friend I had growing up that I chose myself was bullied for being indigenous, looking masculine, (I believe Shoshone/Cherokee but I was 9 and I can't recall now apologies) and liking "boy" stuff. She moved only a few years later. I did not have another female friend until my senior year in high school and big shocker that a few years ago she was diagnosed with autism alongside her son. I knew from age 12-14 roughly that I was trans. I thought I was a transman back then. This was pre-internet btw folks. I had NO IDEA wtf a trans person was or that it was even a real thing. I just felt like I wasn't a girl and I couldn't possibly be a girl, all because of how those around me treated me. I'm not saying every transman is just a traumatized cis woman, but I know for a fact for me and my personal situation, being told I looked like a boy, all the stuff I liked was for boys, just literally everything about me = well that is what boys do, not girls. I genuinely think in my case, that it impacted me psychologically in a way so deep it gave me a lot of mental health issues surrounding gender. I would go through phases of hyper performing femininity and hypersexuality to try and fit in. I developed a huge complex around my self worth and being desirable that still persists to this day. This is the part Twitter was angry about and wouldn't let anyone interact with. I'm now 34 and it's manifested in a new way since quarantine since I didn't have interaction with people outside of close friends for that entire time. I find myself with an intense fear of pretty cis women, particularly white women. It's a genuine uncontrollable fear response where my entire body starts trembling because I can't stand the thought of being perceived by them. I feel so lacking. I don't even fucking identify as a woman anymore either but I can't even describe the dread I feel about being near them. It isn't even their fault either. They can be the nicest in the world to me but societal pressure and the treatment of women, cis and trans alike, has caused me so much harm I'm actually actively searching for a new therapist to help with this issue. TERFS out here literally causing the issues they say are "plaguing women from being women". Like HUH? You're literally reinforcing stereotypes babes!!! The same stereotypes you say are misogynistic! You're the problem!!! I actually have surgery on Monday and I told my husband I'm more afraid at being perceived by the beautiful women in the clinic (it has an attached MedSpa, trust me, they're all flawless goddesses in there) than I am being awake for the actual surgery. I don't doubt I would still come out as trans (rn I identify vaguely as non-binary/transmasc) because I just don't really vibe with the concept of gender as a whole. I would have just probably figured out that those feelings weren't necessarily me wanting to be or actually being a man a lot sooner. My heart just hurts for Imane Khelif because I can't imagine if she legit is just a normal ass cis woman with higher testosterone how it must feel right now to be attacked like that. And if she is intersex, how much she probably faced a lot of similar treatment that I did growing up. At this point I'm just rambling, but it has all made me very very sad and just brought up a lot of trauma from my own life.

[acourtofthought]

Imma just say it, calling Lucien an abuser while in ACOSF we have the shadowboy literally torture two AC fae whilst knowing they can’t tell him shit because they’re under a spell is very… interesting. Lucien is blamed for not sticking up for Feyre enough, but nobody has smoke for Azriel for withholding from Feyre that her pregnancy might kill her. Rhys said hush and they all said “yes, master!”

And from what we saw in ACOTAR, specifically under the mountain, Lucien would have absolutely told Feyre the first chance he got. He literally got tortured and still refused to say her real name.

But yeah, the unhinged shadowboy is ~ superior ~

I realize their argument stems from what they think Lucien's treatment of Elain is versus how they feel Az treats Elain (rather than Az's actual job which does involve torturing people) but even that is flat out false.

If Lucien mistreated Elain, Nesta, Feyre, Mor, Amren, Rhys, Cassian, or Az wouldn't let him near Elain. Feyre has proven she doesn't care about making enemies when she feels someone has wronged her family.

Mor used her gift of truth on Lucien and found him worthy enough to enter Velaris, something no one from any other Court was permitted to do prior to that point (I think the second was Helion and that wasn't until SF).

And it is interesting that Lucien was expected to stick up for Feyre, a female he hadn't even known for a year and who he had to accept having murdered his friend when we have this scene:

"Don't give me that look, Lucien."

Silence again.

Then a vicious snarl, and a shudder of magic rocked the house.

Tamlin's voice had been low, deadly. "Do not push me on this."

I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING IN THAT ROOM, WHAT HE'D DONE TO LUCIEN, WHAT LUCIEN HAD EVEN LOOKED LIKE TO CAUSE THAT PULSE OF POWER." I LOCKED THE DOOR TO MY BEDROOM AND DID NOT BOTHER TO EAT DINNER AT ALL.

She "didn't want to know". Feyre turned her back on what was happening to Lucien.

For as much as people expect Lucien to have been friend of the year to Feyre, they don't seem to expect the same of her.

Lucien was just as much a victim of Tamlin's abuse and threats as Feyre and Lucien had a front row seat to Tamlin's power and the fact that he had no issues throwing his weight around. It wasn't until after Feyre was removed from Spring by Mor that Lucien witnessed Tamlin murder the sentries for Feyre being taken even though it wasn't their fault as Mor rendered them unconscious through her own power but I doubt that was the first time Lucien was made aware of what Tamlin was capable of. Lucien isn't stupid, he knew that at that point, Tamlin was his High Lord and therefore, Tamlin could force Lucien to do whatever he wanted him to do. He also knew that he would only get so far by pushing back on Tamlin.

And in ACOMAF, Feyre had more power than Lucien, having been given the power of all 7 High Lords yet for some reason, people expected Lucien to stand up to Tamlin on her behalf.

It's very strange to me.

Personally, I never expected Feyre to stand up to Tamlin on behalf of Lucien and I don't condemn Lucien for not doing more. They were both victims of their situations and both had massive trauma (it's strange people forget about how much Lucien had been through simply because it's Feyre's POV). Lucien's safety, recovery, and mental health shouldn't take a backseat just because Feyre was struggling with her own problems. They are both two characters in a terrible position where they felt like they didn't have any power, trying to fight their own demons.

I know my response sounds like I'm pitting Feyre and Lucien against one another and that's not what I'm trying to do. I'm just explaining how the argument against Lucien goes both ways but in the end, I don't think it's an argument that should exist in the first place.

But I do agree with the points you made. Even though Az agreed that Nesta had a right to know about the swords, he still obeyed his orders not to tell her. And though we don't even know what Az's thoughts were about telling Feyre of the pregnancy, he still kept it a secret from her. Acting like Az is superior to Lucien is another argument that will never make sense to me. They are both good males in their own ways and my major issue with Az at this point is feeling entitled to Elain because she's the "third sister" and being so jealous that he can't show respect to Lucien who is a good male and who has done nothing but help the IC since fleeing Spring.

[coochiequeens]

The violent altercation resulted in police intervention. At first, Smith’s boyfriend claimed she had been abusive towards him. But later, Smith says he tried to blame it on his gender identity issues.“ While she was checked into a hospital to heal from the abuse she was reported to the police for stating that her abusive ex was transgender.

A UK woman has been summoned for an interview by Derbyshire Police over alleged “transphobic” behavior during her hospital stay at Chesterfield Royal Hospital.

Toni Smith* says she received the notice just after being released from the hospital’s mental health unit where she had been seeking treatment following a traumatic episode related to her past abuse by a trans-identified male.

Speaking to Reduxx and The Publica for an exclusive joint report, Smith explained that she was voluntarily admitted to Chesterfield’s Herrington Unit in January after contacting emergency services herself and explaining that she had self-harmed.

Smith is a survivor of repeat sexual and physical abuse — abuse she says she suffered at the hands of her transgender ex-boyfriend.

“When we met, he was a bodybuilder. His biceps were bigger than my head. I’d never met anyone as big as him.” Smith says, explaining that the two became an item in 2017. 

Just over one year into the relationship, Smith says she discovered that her partner had a proclivity for wearing women’s clothing and expressed a desire to transition.

“It completely blindsided me. I had thought for a while that he had [body] issues… at first, a lot of the habits he had were similar to the issues my body dysmorphia caused me. So I thought it was similar.” 

Smith notes that while she was not hostile to her boyfriend’s decision, she was not interested in affirming his declaration.

Given the gender ideology debate was still far-removed from mainstream popularity at the time, Smith says she had never given too much thought to the politics surrounding transgenderism 

However, her feelings about her partner’s “transition” were mixed.

“I knew straight away that I would not stay in the relationship. But I felt sorry for him, I wanted to help him feel comfortable with whatever life he was living, and I thought we could part as friends after that.” 

But it wasn’t long after that Smith says her partner became physically abusive towards her and their disagreements would often turn violent.

“He abused me horrifically,” Smith alleges. “One time, he sat on my chest and strangled me until I passed out.” 

The violent altercation resulted in police intervention. At first, Smith’s boyfriend claimed she had been abusive towards him. But later, Smith says he tried to blame it on his gender identity issues.

“He told me that the reason he’d strangled me and was so horrible was because he was jealous of me,” she explained.

Smith says the abuse continued to escalate, with her boyfriend’s gender identity becoming a catalyst for the continued deterioration of the relationship and her mental health.

“He would take my make-up and accuse me of cheating. He controlled the money but would message his family claiming I was spending it on myself or drugs. He also began coercing me into having sex with other men for money,” Smith says, explaining that “at first” he didn’t force her, but would instead invite men over and put her on the spot.

“One of them, near the end, injured me quite badly. [My partner] knew it was too much because it was the last time he made me do it. I think with others he told himself he wasn’t abusing me because I eventually gave in. He thinks that’s consent,” Smith says. “There was a lot of blood. I started getting pains after that low down in my stomach. After I left him one day I collapsed and started convulsing and the hospital found my birth control coil had been dislodged and was basically stabbing into my cervix and embedding in the inside of it.”

Smith provided Reduxx and The Publica a number of covert videos she had recorded while in the relationship. In one, he admitted to spraying a household cleaning disinfectant down her throat because she accidentally got facial toner on him while she was spritzing it on her face. 

In another video from April of 2020, Smith captured an interaction with her partner, who is seen wearing long red-dyed hair and pink pajama pants, becoming angry at her for singing in the bedroom — something Smith says she was doing to block out the verbal abuse he had been directing at her.

The interaction ends with him storming out to shut the house’s electricity off, leaving Smith in pitch-black darkness while he calls her “abusive.” 

Smith alleges that after she stopped recording to go turn the electricity back on, he kicked her into a wall.

Disturbingly, Smith says her partner then reported her for a “hate crime” for not sufficiently affirming his gender identity — something she says had happened multiple times before in their relationship. 

Police attended the residence, but classified it as a simple domestic dispute with no intervention needed.

The next day, Smith decided to end the relationship.

“The day I left, I was begging him to get help. He told me he wouldn’t … so my friend called me a taxi and I left. I went up to the north of England, at which point I suppose he realized I was not actually going to come back to him. He started threatening to kill himself unless I did, but I refused.”

Over the coming week, police contacted Smith with questions about the relationship, clearly concerned about the distressing number of calls that had come out of the residence over time. 

Smith finally opened up to officers about the abuse after the relationship ended. Merseyside Police arranged for her to record a video statement, and Derbyshire Police took over the case.

In June of 2020, two months after Smith left, her ex was arrested while police investigated Smith’s claims of having been sex trafficked by him.

“The reason it took them so long between my statement and arresting him was because they went through every report he’d made against me. He’d been reporting me without my knowledge and there were so many reports it took them a couple of weeks to make sure they’d closed all of his, which they said they now regarded as malicious and false,” Smith explained.

Reduxx and The Publica reviewed communications exchanged between Smith and a constable with the Derbyshire Police, in which “she/her” pronouns were used for her abuser.

No charges were ultimately pursued and minimal details were provided to Smith on why that decision had been reached.

“[The constable] came and said that his superior felt there wasn’t enough evidence and refused to even ask the crown prosecution service for a decision. He just closed it with no further action.”

Though Smith expresses her relief that the relationship had ended, she continued to struggle with her mental health even after the break-up. 

She experienced depressive episodes, self-harm, and severe anxiety. At times, Smith says she was scared to leave the house out of fear she would see one of the men who had been apart of the sexual abuse she endured while with her ex.

In January of 2023, Smith says she had a severe self-harming episode, and contacted her local hospital for help. 

She was directed to the emergency room at Chesterfield Hospital due to a lack of space, and was ultimately admitted to the Hartington Unit, the hospital’s psychiatric facility. Smith was placed in the female section for treatment, where she would spend the next few weeks rehabilitating. 

While there, Smith befriended a few other female patients in the unit — one of which, unbeknownst to Smith, identified as non-binary.

“There was no mention of her being non-binary. I didn’t know. I had heard her make a comment about another patient, saying that she was ‘transphobic and no mental illness causes that,’ which I thought was strange,” Smith says, continuing: “But there was no mention of her identity specifically. She seemed to be on a low-end of having a mental illness and was very functional.”

While the two had an amicable relationship at first, things went downhill after the non-binary individual overheard Smith discussing her ex-partner with another patient.

“She heard me talking to this other lady in the common area … I was opening about my ex and mentioned he was transgender,” Smith explained. She says that after she came in from an evening cigarette break, the non-binary patient was “screaming at the top of her lungs” about trans rights.

“She was standing in the communal area, shouting ‘trans women are women,’” Smith says. “She was shouting it. This wasn’t a private conversation.”

Smith explains she immediately perceived the outburst as being directed at her, and approached the young woman to relay her own experience.

“I told her, ‘go and get raped by one and tell me how much of a woman they are,’” Smith says. “I didn’t shout at her, and then I walked off and went to bed.”

It was the next day that the incident occurred which was ultimately reported to police.

“I got into an argument with a nurse who kept insisting the shouting patient was non-binary, not female. That gaslighting affects me in a strange way, because of my experience. [The nurse] told me, ‘they’re not a woman,’ and I said, ‘yes she is, she’s on a women’s ward, for a start.’”

Smith says she got very upset, and the non-binary patient overheard the conversation and began shouting from another area, recognizing the conversation had been about her.

Smith’s new partner would later call the hospital to complain about the nurse’s conduct, concerned that they had caused her emotional distress.

“We could not work out how this hospital was, on one hand, supposed to treat me for my trauma which they understood was caused by a transgender male, and on the other, argue with me that a woman was not a woman.”

Smith says the incident made her  want to leave the hospital because she felt increasingly distrustful of the staff. 

She was discharged at the end of February, and, approximately one month later, was issued a notice from Derbyshire Police informing her she was required to attend the station for a formal interview.

In the letter, police explain Smith was alleged to have “performed a public order offense” in which she “directed words deemed offensive towards another individual on the ward.” 

The date on the letter corresponds with the conversation Smith had with the nurse in the kitchen about the non-binary patient.

Smith explained that she was incredulous about the letter, taking particular issue with the fact police issued it despite knowing she had been a patient on a psychiatric ward receiving treatment for her mental health.

“This specific thing does not frighten me. I know they won’t be able to prosecute me. I know the law well enough… but the fact that the police are able to harass women because of their speech is frightening,” Smith says. “There’s nothing I said that is criminal. But it does worry me that they are doing this to women.”

Reduxx and The Publica reached out to Derbyshire Police for comment but did not receive a response to the inquiry.

In the interim, Smith says she has no intention of contacting police, noting that they have her contact information but have yet to reach out to establish a date for her station interview.

“If they want me to come down, they know where I am. This whole asking me to be proactive to arrange for my own police interview… I’m not going to do that. I shouldn’t have to.”

Smith only recently became more involved in discussions surrounding gender identity through online communities, seeking support for her past experience having been abused by a trans-identified male.

“This whole movement… it’s a misogynistic men’s movement, I feel. It has nothing to do with ‘trans rights.’ They’re going after vulnerable women, and demanding we change the way we see the world.”

Disturbingly, Smith is not the first woman in the United Kingdom to face police intervention after “offending” a transgender individual.

In January of this year, a disabled woman in South Wales had her home searched and was subjected to police detention after being reported for committing a “transphobic hate crime” for putting up stickers raising awareness about domestic violence. 

The next month, Caroline Farrow, a mother of five who has been outspoken against gender ideology, had her house forced into by Surrey Police after her social media activity was reported as criminal. Farrow had previously been investigated by police in 2019 for misgendering a trans-identified male on Twitter.

*Smith’s surname has been changed to protect her identity.