#had nothing to say about the piece itself just that i was a weeb and it fueled me with so much SPITE

[indecisnyan]

My piece for the Curse of the Cross zine! It’s theme was a combination of dark fantasy and D&D and it was a great time.

[hallucinateonpaperspines]

So, I was rereading Chapter 5 of OUAT, and it just registered to me what the statue meant. Like, I didn’t really pay much attention to it at first (because I was too excited for the update lol), but rereading it now, I just now see the messed up implications. Like, Cybertronians literally rewrote history. They made it seem as if both sides were protecting humans, specifically the three children, as if both sides were interested in preserving the native population, which is obviously not what happened. It was Megatron who wanted humanity gone, it was Megatron who wanted to claim Earth for his own and it was Megatron who ultimately destroyed it (as far as Cybertronians know.) So seeing him cradling the kids, as if he was also the one protecting them is just… so infuriating. It makes sense for Optimus to be depicted, because he was the one to truly care about the children, but Megatron being there is such a slap in the face. No wonder June almost snaps. Seeing someone, who held no regard or respect to your species and wanting to actively kill you, being depicted as a sort of hero is so…jajdfcvkh, I can’t put it into words! To add to this, Optimus was the one who built the Archival Project, so was he the one who made or commissioned the statue? It seems unlikely, but I saw in one of your posts mentioning that the bots don’t talk about Earth to others? Implying that they also don’t really talk about the true events that transpired there. So, were they the ones who fabricated the story in an attempt to bring the peace treaty between Decepticons and Autobots closer, or were these just speculations they let to cultivate? Either way, the whole statue scene is so messed up…

Yep, that statue was an important hint and existed in the first drafts of OUAT. Earth has done something similar, but instead of rewriting the truth it just isn't widely known. The information is there, but it takes a level of effort to get to it.

But you are 100% correct, history has been rewritten and the more concerning details of the truth have been tweaked for a more acceptable narrative. This will cause some confusion when the new Prime decides to lead some peace-keeping efforts.

It was a combination of speculations and white lies that caused the entire "propaganda" to form. Elements of the organic Earth remain via recorded media and some artifacts that were on the Nemesis (thanks to quite a few vehicons and KO). Those glimpses into a society so similar and yet so different from Cybertron sparked something in the war-torn generations. For some, that is the only taste of peace-time that they've ever had, for many, it's a reminder of what they lost.

When the treaty went into effect, for the first time in millennia, there was time to focus on something beyond the next battle. With that sudden shift away from warfare, there was be bit of a vacuum and sentimentality developed a deep anchor. Humanity's remnants became a way to channel that. (hence why Stunbolt knows some Japanese... the bot is a weeb).

But Cybertronians only know fragments of humanity, heavily edited fragments that were produced for entertainment purposes.

Of course, eventually, someone asks what happened to the humans. Are they still there? Why are they gone? Obviously, some of their species made it to the planet, so what happened?

And of course, no one bothers to answer the questions. They don't really care. They don't deserve to know.

So the Autobots hold the treaty's tributes tight and keep their mouths shut. The Decepticons don't say anything either, but their silence isn't as absolute.

Rumors spread. A word at a bar. A half-sparked muttering overheard. A sentence picked apart by obsessed fans that have nothing better to do than focus on this little mystery.

The world was destroyed.

It was an accident.

It was on purpose.

It was a disaster.

It was a force of nature.

The narrative pieces itself together. Sentiment winding with truth, blurring the lines between what was and what might have been. Eventually, the tale is so disjointed from reality that it is nothing more than fiction, a once upon a time that makes even the ones who know the truth feel a little less guilty about their part in it.

Earth is dead. It isn't coming back, so what is the harm in lying when no one can get hurt anymore?

When the Children finally die, the last tie to the truth is severed.

Team Prime has mixed feelings about it. Arcee finds it appalling, even as she keeps her silence. She hasn't visited the memorial in years, unable to step foot in the tomb housing her partner's preserved body when she is allowing his sacrifices to be erased. Bulkhead is similarly torn, the lies help to ease things, to create connections between sides and a middle ground. But he would be lying if he said he never wanted to pound a mech's face every time they started speaking of Earth. He and Jackie will change the conversation, and laugh it off before disappearing so Bulk can drown himself in high grade and Wheeljack can sharpen his sword. They don't talk about it. They don't talk about it or else they'd argue about visiting for the death-day anniversary. They have their own memorial, pictures set up instead of a body and that is enough. Bulkhead doesn't need to go traversing across the galaxy to pay respects when the memories of his sparkling are right there.

Bumblebee doesn't talk at all. It's not hard when he can barely vocalize properly anyway. He doesn't talk, but his optics scream murder. Ratchet is used to this. He remembers political machinations such as this from his days waiting on politicians during the Golden Age. If this sacrifice is what it takes to keep some semblance of order and peace, then he will bow his helm and remain silent. He still has a drawer in his personal quarters that he keeps locked. The equipment he built, too tiny for any use now, but once had brought comfort to the three ailing organics. He doesn't open the drawer, but he does visit the Archive every 360 earthen days on the anniversary of their return from Megatron. He apologizes and hopes that it might be enough. His spark knows it isn't.

Optimus is ashamed. The memorial site was constructed, and the statue was meant to depict the unification of their species through a shared love of the tributes, of the children, but it quickly turned into something out of hand. They had not dismissed the rumors of Earth's ending, and now, the Prime had all but confirmed that the loss of such a young and beautiful world had been a freak accident that both factions had come together over. Mourned together over. He does nothing but nod and approve the project. No one present knows him well enough to see the disgust and sorrow that mars his optics. No one but the mech seated across from him.

Megatron shares that disgust. He has his own feelings concerning his failings and the humans, but they are a complex mass that no fairy tale could hope to explain. He winces as Rodimus Prime launches into a speech about the asteroid attack and the value of preserving life. He does not contradict. He simply leaves.

Oh yes. Once upon a time, he would have felt nothing over humanity dying. He didn't care one way or another about the collateral damage between him and his ultimate prize, but now... Now the warlord was disgusted at himself for becoming a part of the same system he had dismantled to begin with. The same lies.

Rumors started with negligence. But the Archival Project is opened with falsehoods pouring out of the intake of a mech who could never know better.

Humanity would be rolling in their graves had they known.

Instead, they're digging their way out, and soon, they'll find out for themselves.

[thesunshinebunny]

Can I ask for the dorm leaders reacting to their S / O asking them to join them in the shower for the first time???

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, oooookkkk, I can see what you did there dear anon.

In my great humble imagination, I'd like to take a dip in the huge bathtub that Kalim surely has in Scarabia. Let me dream, I like to relax in big bathtubs with foam, bubbles, music and incense. Before we begin, I warn you that all characters are +18.

Let’s goooooooooooooo

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Riddle

Oh dear, you don't know what you just did.

It was a decent proposal to be honest, you just wanted to spend a quality moment with our Queen, but I think the smoke got into his head.

"Riddle, I'm going to take a shower, would you like to join me?"

Puff red as a tomato and about to explode.

You stared at him in disbelief, until you realized your words. Maybe Riddle wasn't ready for that big step.

You entered the bathroom alone, but not before asking for forgiveness.

Now you left Riddle alone with his thoughts, that's much worse.

Your intention was to take a short shower, but with the event that had just occurred, you were eating your head as the water ran down your body.

The longer it took you to get out, the more your anxiety ate you up inside. You would have panicked if you hadn't heard the door open and close almost inaudibly.

Riddle stepped into the shower, standing behind you and circling your waist.

"Please don't turn around, it's still too embarrassing for me, but I can't help but feel calm right now"

Neither of you spoke or moved the rest of the time you stayed in the shower, even forgetting to wash properly. But that 'mistake' was the beginning of multiple long shared showers.

Leona

The lazy lion here wasn’t in his plans to get into the water, much less shower. If you had asked getting into the lounge’s pool, maybe he would have considered it.

He just lay on his bed, about to fall asleep, not caring about your figure in the middle of the room. He didn't care that you were getting irritated every second.

"I don't have the need to bathe, go alone"

He heard you leave and thought he was going to sleep peacefully before you get out of the shower… until an impact on his head dislodged him.

You had thrown dirt all over his hair, spreading over his chest and the bed.

“Now you have a reason to shower. You're dirty"

I recommend you to run to the shower, because the look Leona gave you… I highly doubt that you will make it out alive.

Arriving at the threshold, Leona grabbed you by the legs, placing you on his shoulder and getting under the faucet.

This fucker turned on the shower without letting you remove your clothes first, ending up drenched.

"Ah, my mistake, I think you're a little wet. Let me take off your clothes"

The malicious smirk on his face didn’t give you confidence, and didn’t disappear even when you were both naked under the water.

“You have courage to fill me and my bed with dirt, did you want to take a shower? Now you are going to clean me"

Ah… worth it?

Azul

Did he hear you well? Do you want to take a shower with him?

Oh dear sea witch, help him, he is about to have a neurism.

Azul wasn’t against your proposal itself, he was very concerned about his physique.

And what if you don't like what you see? would you are disappointed? And if it disgusts you to look at him naked or semi naked?

Thousands of questions ran through his head, making it impossible for him to give you an answer. If you looked closely, you might even see smoke coming out of his ears from the gears in his head moving; even tears were threatening to leak out of his eyes.

You placed your hands on both sides of his face, "Come with me"

You guided him into the bathroom, placing him under the shower head. You let go of your octopus and turned on the hot water before he could say anything.

Both were burned by the touch of the hot water, even Azul wanted to get out of there, but you stopped him by wrapping your arms around him.

The warmth of your arms on his torso made his heart skip a beat. He never thought he was going to be able to have this kind of intimacy with you, and I'm not talking about nudity.

It was literally like being in the rain in the middle of the courtyard, but in solitude inside Azul's room ... rather in his bathroom ... with clothes that were beginning to cling to the body.

"Do you feel better? Do you think you're ready to take off your clothes and really give us a hot shower?"

Azul never said a yes so fast in his life.

Kalim

A shower? A simple shower? What is that? Kalim only knows how to take big baths in tubs that could be the size of a house.

Either way he said yes, don’t be alarmed.

Wasting no time, he led you to the bathroom in his room, which you could swear was the same dimensions as the bedroom, apart from being very resplendent.

Kalim was very respectful at all times, he gave you your time to undress, he wasn’t invasive and he turned around when you asked him and thus enter the water.

Our sun here took the trouble to decorate the bathtub when you weren't looking, now the whole place was decorated with incense and scented candles from the Land of Hot Sands.

Even if you walked carefully, you might come across a few gold coins on the marble floor of the tub.

All very beautiful, but I think I would be very overwhelmed with such extravagance. And that is also your case, it’s better to tell Kalim directly.

Like before, don't worry, Kalim would understand your feelings a 1000% and if closing your eyes for the entire bath time makes you feel better, then Kalim would be willing to snuggle you on his chest and wash your head himself.

He ’s a gentleman, what can I say.

But, if you feel comfortable with all that, then I advise you to start a bubble war. Who said bathing with your partner has to be serious?

"Take care of your bubble ammunition, you wouldn't want to be left with nothing and for me to tickle you"

You made a mess in the whole bathroom, be careful when you leave, there is soap and water everywhere.

Vil

Oh no no no, dear, no dear.

One does not shower with Vil, one BATHES with Vil.

Like Kalim, Vil takes his bath quite seriously. He needs to follow his skin routine very meticulously and for that he needs oils, essences and… other things that my poor ass couldn't buy all the time, even if I wanted to.

His bathtub is not as gigantic as Kalim's, but it is much larger than average.

If for any reason you are embarrassed to bathe naked, don't panic. Vil has exclusively for you a bathrobe that you can use in the water, and one for him too obviously.

Prepare for a full-body massage session. The oils are not for decoration, they are to soften the skin and Vil would give the best massages of your life, you cannot argue with me

By the way, you also wash your hair with an equally expensive shampoo. There is no middle ground here: either you take a simple shower in your bedroom, or you go big with Vil.

That reminds me, the moment you take the first bath with this Queen of beauty, you have just signed a contract (not one of Azul's) in which it stipulates that from now on, every day you will bathe with it, end of discussion.

Vil may at first have been a bit ecstatic to the idea of ​​you giving him massages with his special oil and washing his hair; he has a very meticulous routine that he adheres to to the letter and your inexperienced fingers would not do enough magic.

Buuut, nothing like a good class in the middle of the bathtub to give good results.

In summary, taking a bath with Vil is like having a full day at the Spa, completely free ... well, almost free 😉

Idia

Idia.exe stopped working.

Jokes aside, Idia stopped reacting for a few seconds, he didn't even remember to breathe.

I can't tell if Idia is one of that kind of weeb that doesn't bathe, I want to believe that he does, please make me believe that he does, I implore you

Taking a shower with Idia can be a bit… embarrassing, mostly on his part. He isn’t used to so much human contact and that you ask him for such a proposal, is to get out of his comfort zone.

Nor could I tell if, when in contact with water, Idia's hair would evaporate, like the scene in Hercules blowing Hades’s head XD.

If so, it would be a lot of fun to watch, but you would have to reassure him because he would surely be much more embarrassed.

If that's not the case, maybe he would be around as long as the intimacy last with red hair, someone at some point mentioned Idia with red hair and now I can't help but imagine it

Many caresses from your part, hugging his torso from behind. Like Riddle, he would surely not be prepared to look at you for the first time or for you to see him.

Trie to calm the waters by asking him about his new inventions.

Also avoids telling Ortho all this bamboleo. He is too pure for this type of situation, let's not fill his head with indecent images of his brother.

Malleus

What a peculiar proposal, but it will be honored without a doubt.

He may have asked Lilia for instructions to abide by your proposal as well as possible… and Big Bear Mama Lilia may have asked him thousands of questions about it, perhaps embarrassing him a bit, but we will never know.

I have a slight suspicion that Malleus has a very rococo-style bathroom, in dark colors, but not necessarily black and green, do you understand?

Did you know those old tubs, from the Marie Antoinette years? Well, Malleus has one. He also has a shower, but to be honest, I see Malleus as a passionate lover, so the shower wouldn’t be in the game.

But, if you feel uncomfortable with the bathtub because it seems too much or you can’t step in (because, let's face it, hardly a person enters in that marble piece of furniture) then Malleus has no problem using the shower.

Whatever your decision is, the moment will be magical, and I mean it very seriously.

Our dragon daddy here would invoke any kind of magic to make the evening more enjoyable, like the little lights that fly around when Malleus is about to appear or disappear.

I recommend you don’t go around telling your intentions of take a shower with Malleus, we know that a certain lemon green hair is hanging around the corridors and he wouldn’t hesitate to listen to a conversation that has his young master as it’s center.

An uncomfortable moment if Sebek enter the bathroom screaming as always, demanding an explanation as to why a simple human is bathing with his young master.

[fa-headhoncho]

Fake Boyfriend: Part 3

Bakugo Katsuki x Reader

Prompt: The fake dating plan has some... complications.

Word Count: 1351

Reader: Female

Warning: Americanized. Leading up to drama, if I still to the plan lol. lmk if u want to be tagged

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

=====

It was the weekend once again and the plan for the was to go to the mall with some of the class. You were very excited since it’s been a while since you left the campus other than the patrols during your internship. Getting up early, showering, and even putting on a cute outfit.

You bounce down the stairs, sending the girls a wave before making a b-line to the kitchen. Katsuki stands at the counter, preparing the plate of food he just cooked. The sound of someone rummaging through the cabinets near catches his attention.

He turns around and nearly drops the pan of eggs onto the floor. You were on your tippy-toes, trying to reach the top shelf… in a dress. He hasn’t seen you in a dress since your elementary school graduation and he was flustered. Yea, he sees you in a skirt every day in class but this was different. The way the garment hugged your curves and accentuated your--

“Can you help me, Suki?” Your sweet voice snaps him out of his daze. He nods, fearing his voice would reveal the effect you had on him. He quickly sets down the pan and makes his way over to you. “Can you grab the Sugar-O’s?”

“Tch.” He shakes his head at you, his mind finally piecing itself back together to scold you. “You are not eating Sugar-O’s for breakfast. You’re going to feel like shit all day if you eat a shitty meal.”

You immediately pout out your bottom lip causing him to let out a sigh. Years of friendship have taught you what you needed to do for the blonde to give you what you want. It was a true talent. “Please, Bubba?” You beg, putting the nail in the coffin.

“No.” He spits out in your face. You let out a scoff, shoulders dropping as he saunters back to the counter to continue his task.

“Well, what am I supposed to eat then?”

He just shakes his head, holding back a chuckle at your child-like actions. “Will you stop whining for ten seconds?” He grumbles out.

“I haven’t eaten since last night, Katsuki, I’m starv--” You cut yourself when he spins back around to look at you. A warmth starts from your toes and climbs up the rest of your body as you see the two plates of food in his hands. “You made me breakfast?”

He rolls his eyes, “No, I made too much food and I know your dumbass would want some.” He simply states but you know it’s a lie. He’s skilled enough in the culinary arts that he knew how much of each ingredient to put in to make the correct portion size for one plate. He specifically made enough to share with you and it made your heart skip a beat.

“Are you going to take it or stand there?” Katsuki gestures to his outstretched hand holding the food.

You give him a grateful smile as you grab it, daring to lean forward and press a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, bubba.” You whisper in his ear before walking away.

Katsuki bites his lip, trying to push down the blush that was fighting to spread across his cheeks. He lifts his head and watches you join the girls at the table, a small feeling of disappointment washes over him since he wanted to enjoy breakfast with his girlfriend.

She’s not my girlfriend. He has to remind himself.

The girls and you chat about the day ahead while eating your breakfast. The group planned a day to the mall and were trying to narrow down which shops they wanted to stop by. Some of the boys were coming along as well but were still sleeping so they weren’t here to discuss.

“I hope Todoroki is going.” Momo absently says, eyes dazed as she drags a finger around the rim of her teacup.

“I’m not sure.” Orchaco looks over to Mina who shrugs in response. “Izuku said that some of the guys are coming and he didn’t mention him--” Momo’s shoulders drop but no one takes notice, “--Is Bakugo coming?”

All eyes turn to you as you happily munch at the delicious pancakes. You have to ask Katsuki for the recipe, they were the best thing you’ve eaten in months. The fork was still hanging out of your mouth when you notice that the girls’ attention was on you.

You quickly gulp down the bite and raise your eyebrows. “Sorry, what was the question?”

Mina lets out a chuckle, “Is Bakugo going to the mall with us?”

A small blush coats your cheeks and you duck your head away from them, hoping that they don’t see it. “Probably not, he’s not much of a social person.”

“Well, I’m sure he’ll come if you mention you’re going.” Mina counters, wiggling her eyebrows up and down. The girls let out various hums of agreements, some even giggling. “He’s seemed to enjoy movie night.”

Your blush spreads from your cheeks to your whole face at the memory. After you dozed off, you woke up the next morning with your head on Katsuki’s chest and him sprawled out under you on the couch.

“Who knew Bakugo had a soft side.” Hagakure coos out, her arms close together showing that she was clasping her invisible hands. “So, are you guys together?”

You don’t trust your voice so you nod. A few of the girls let out excited squeals and move to your side, spewing out questions at ten miles an hour. You hate this kind of attention, especially since it was all coming from a lie.

“I don’t know how it happened really… we kind of just started dating.” You say what comes to mind since you didn’t think about this part of the plan. “And, he’s always had a soft side with me. Nothing has changed between us… he’s still my best friend just with a different title.”

“That’s adorable.” Hagakure gleams. “I never really thought Bakugo would get a girlfriend.” She quietly admits leading some of the other girls to nod too.

You furrow your eyebrows at them, confused about why they say that. Yea, he’s never had any other girlfriend in the past but that is only because he never wanted one. You knew they meant no harm at the comment but there was a fit of slight anger lingering inside you at their words.

“There’s a lot more to Katsuki than just exploding fists. Under all that anger, there’s a soft little teddy bear.” You tell them with a dreamy expression on your face. “He’s just... “ You go to continue but stop yourself since you know Katsuki would kill you if you mentioned any of the vulnerable moments you’ve had with him. You didn’t want to break the trust you had built up with him over the years just to prove something.

You let out a sigh, eyes going back to the plate of food in front of you. “Bakugo has a very complicated personality and once you figure it out, it’s hard not to love him.” You meant it, growing up with him was easy but when you came back from school it was like you had to start over with him.

His aggressive personality developed into what it is now, a defensive wall to block anyone who would get in his way to becoming the number one hero. And you admired that, his passion and determination was beautiful. But once you broke down those walls, you saw the real Bakugo Katsuki. The one who reads romance novels before he goes to bed; the one who still slept with the same teddy bear from his childhood; and the one who is constantly reevaluating what he did so he could improve.

What you didn’t realize is that the said boy could hear the entire conversation from his spot in the kitchen. A small smirk on his face at your confession. A hopeful voice in the back of his head says to maybe make this dating scheme a reality.

_____

fake bf: @yn-dreamlife @yaskna @bakugouswh0r3 @bkgkhaos @addictofsupernatural @littlemaladaptivedaydreamer @thoroughlycaffeinated @riot-race @missyredbean @speedmetalqueen @anime-weeb-bnha

[luvteez]

at your service

pairing: san x fem!reader genre + tags: smut | humiliation (in the form of wearing a maid costume bc san is a kinky weeb), begging, master kink, cockwarming, edging, unprotected sex wc: 2.2k

A smirk creeps on San’s lips the moment the door flies open. He’s made himself comfortable on the bed, legs crossed and head resting against the headboard. Before he can let out the comment that’s been lying heavy on the tip of his tongue, you lash out first.

“I fucking hate you for making me wear this.”

“Yes, you told me that around six times already,” he drawls, visibly amused by the situation. “But we had a deal. You lost, so suck it up.”

The neckline plunges too low for your liking, and the skirt — can it even be considered a skirt? — is so short that you’re bound to flash the panties you’re wearing underneath whenever you as much as dare move. Perhaps you’d find the garter belt cute, if only you weren’t wearing it with this skimpy version of a maid uniform. How much did San pay for this? Actually, you don’t want to know.

San gets off the bed, eyes trained on you the entire time. His tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth once his gaze settles on your exposed legs, making you clench your thighs together. The way he blatantly eye-fucks you has you growing wet, and you fucking hate it. It’s one thing to be put through this humiliation, but wearing this maid outfit and being aroused? Your ego can only take so much.

Once he’s standing in front of you, the power imbalance couldn’t get any more obvious. There’s him, wearing a nice dress shirt with the top buttons undone and black jeans, and then there’s you in nothing but a slutty rendition of a servant costume. The look he sends you makes you tear your eyes away from him and heartbeat rise to your ears, and you just hope for the better that he doesn’t point it out.

Luckily, he doesn’t. Instead, he circles around you, giving you a once-over from every possible angle. It’s silent, save for the sound of San’s footsteps bouncing off the walls. You wait for him to say something with bated breath, but that never comes. Eventually, he stops right behind you, and you’re pretty sure he’s fixated on the part of your ass that the skirt doesn’t cover.

The silence is deafening, unbearable even, but you don’t plan on losing this unsaid game. If San already has you dressed as degradingly as it can get, you’re not going to entertain him any further. But then an arm wraps around your waist and pins your back against his chest, while another hand snakes down under your skirt and cups your covered cunt. You manage to bite back a moan at the sudden contact, but your body betrays you with how you jolt.

“Cute,” San snickers, before propping his chin on your shoulder. “Just adorable.” His breath is hot against your neck as he continues to put his fingers to use. He traces your folds over the panties that are slowly turning damper by the second, toys around with your clit, and even dares to shove some of your underwear into your entrance once you’re leaking enough to his liking. You struggle to stand still on both legs as he does how he pleases, deadset on withstanding him, even if this torture is the cost. 

“I hate you,” you say through gritted teeth, but it comes out rather comical when your knees finally give up on you and you lean on him for support. The subtle moan that follows suit doesn’t help either. San only smiles against your skin before he pushes your underwear aside and slides two digits in you. The messy technique is all over the place, but he curls his fingers in all the right angles and hits all of your weak spots precisely, reducing you into a panting wreck. You throw your head back, overwhelmed by everything that’s going on, and when he pays attention to your clit again, you’re on the verge. 

You’re so close that you can taste your sweet release, but then he stops. You’re about to complain because you know full well what he’s done, but he beats you to it first.

“Come again? What did you say? You’re my maid now, so you better act like one. This is part of the deal after all.” Although he’s muttering in your ear, he enunciates every single syllable with clarity that makes your skin crawl. “Apologize.”

You know exactly what he’s after. San wants to break you. wants to crush your pride and make you his little bitch. You’d put up a longer fight, but your mind is just revolving around sansansan and the desperate want to come. 

“Forgive me.” You cringe at how small your voice sounds, defenseless even. 

“Forgive me...?” he echoes as his fingers start to move again, albeit at a much slower pace than before. You’re confused by the implication, and turn all cogs in your brain in hopes of finding the answer. 

Oh.

Oh.

The daunting realization must’ve flashed across your face because San encourages you to speak. If only you could turn your head and face him, you’d give him a piece of your mind. Not that it would’ve been effective anyway, since he has you locked in his hold.

He whispers the first syllable of the word, and you gasp. Your suspicions were right all along, but the confirmation makes you burn up even more in embarrassment. He’s really trying to stoop you down onto the lowest level. 

But you can do it. you tell yourself you can do it. After all, a deal’s a deal.

“M-master. Forgive me, master.”

San wasn’t prepared for the delivery, judging by the way he flinches. To your dismay, he pulls out entirely, leaving you gaping, and the growl that follows is borderline feral. “You’re the maid, not me. You’re the one who should be doing all the work. If you want to cum, then earn it.” With that, he lets go of you before heading back to the bed. 

You’re at a loss of words. All you can do is stare at him as he makes himself comfy on the bed again, but you quickly scramble to him when he motions you towards him with a flick of his hand. 

“What do you want me to do?” San cocks a brow as if to say is this your best? and you quickly rephrase. “Is there anything I can help you with... master?” The word feels so foreign on your tongue, doesn’t slip the right way. You hate how it’s enough of a confirmation that he has the upper hand; a confirmation that you’re nothing but his little servant. 

He smiles lazily. “Sit on my cock.” And that’s all it takes to have you straddling him. You don’t waste any time pulling his pants down along with the black briefs, letting his length spring out. He’s fully hard and flushed red, just looking inviting to suck on, and it has your mouth watering. But then: “Keep the uniform on.”

Of course it was too good to be true. There’s no way San would let you forget who’s in absolute charge here. You can’t complain though, because you’re getting dicked earlier than expected. 

You manage to slide him inside of you without any complications. Breathy moans leave his mouth as you take him in inch by inch, and the way he struggles to lie still is a tiny victory for you. Meanwhile, the way his cock stretches you out has you whining in pleasure, and your head is only spinning around sansansan by the time you’ve taken him up to the hilt.

“Can I— do you want me to move, master?” 

Maybe it was because you got your hopes up to high, but you can’t help how disdain spreads all over you when San reaches for his phone on the nightstand. “No. Sit still.”

And just like that, he dismisses you nonchalantly and starts tapping rapidly on his phone; as if having you sit on his cock while wearing a maid outfit is a daily occurrence. Your jaw nearly drops when you realize he’s fucking texting. You’re about to speak up, but then the thought of him chastising you because you’re supposed to be a maid pops up in your brain. He’d definitely do that, and he’d definitely punish you too. The question is, how far is he willing to go?

You don’t want to find out. 

So you sit still, losing track of time. You don’t know how long you’ve been sitting on his lap, trying your best not to think about his cock pulsing in you, but it must’ve been a fucking while when San suddenly tilts his phone, thumbs no longer moving. That’s when you become acutely aware of the camera facing you, and you can’t help but wonder what on earth he’s watching. 

Or what if he’s filming you—

That thought has you unknowingly clenching your walls, and you inhale sharply as you realize he’s still snug in you. Luckily, San doesn’t stir, and that realization has you going on your rounds. Maybe if you do it one more time and he doesn’t budge, you could get away with it—

“A-are you recording?” The words are spoken out loud before you even realize it.

San looks up at you and tilts his head. “No, I’m not. Why?” His voice is dripping in innocence, but then he lifts a brow and you know you’re doomed. “Do you want me to record you? Does it turn you on? Is that the reason why you keep tightening around me? Why you’re quite literally dripping on my cock?” 

Your heart almost stops dead in its tracks. So he noticed the entire time.

“Please let me move, master. Please,” you blurt out, no longer caring about your fucking dignity. “Please let me come on your cock. W-want master to fuck me dumb and show me my place.” The number of times you said please in the last few seconds is pitiful, but you don’t find it within you to care. 

“That would imply that you were thinking in the first place. If you weren’t stupid, you wouldn’t have insulted me and said you hated me.”

“You’re right, master, I wasn’t thinking earlier. Please,” you beg, vision slowly getting blurry. San truly outdid himself and got what he fucking wanted, reducing you to the point where you’re so desperate you’re about to cry. Of course you’re desperate because there’s a cock filling you up but you’re not being fucked. And as if that wasn’t hell in itself, you’re wearing this godforsaken maid outfit because you lost a bet.

“Ssh, I got you, baby.” San’s eyes instantly soften and there’s fondness lying in them. You know what he’s about to ask, but you quickly give him the green light to continue. He mouths you an ‘okay’ and reassuringly squeezes your hand before settling both of his hands on your hips. 

There’s a playful glimmer in his eyes, and then he sets back into character, smugness written all over his face. “You want me to fuck you dumb? I’m gonna fuck your brains out, alright.”

In a split second, his grip on your hips tighten. the next thing you know, he snaps his hips against you, and you’re sent three dimensions over. 

His cock manages to reach you even deeper if that’s humanly possible, and you sob. Your moans overlap with his grunts as he thrusts in and out of you at a brutal pace. You barely find the energy to keep your body up, and it’s all San’s doing as he slams your hips down on him. Eventually, he manages to flip your positions around so that you’re pliant underneath him. He doesn’t let down with the intensity when he fumbles for your clit, and your eyes roll back as you feel your orgasm approaching. 

And just a few seconds before you unravel, he pulls his cock out entirely. Fighting back the tears welling up in your eyes, you choke when he nudges his head against your clit. Precum dribbles down your slit and mixes with your own slick, reminding you that he’s not letting you come again.

“Why?” you wince. San is unfazed by your desperation.

“You wanted me to show you your place, didn’t you?” He slides his head along your slit for good measure, and raises his voice to add, “I’ll show you your place and give you what you want if you do what master wants.”

Despite the buzz in your head, you get the underlying order. San isn’t fucking around and means business, always has, so you muster up the energy to ask, “What do you want, master?”

The sly grin he flashes is the only thing you see. “I want you to say my name over and over again. And once you’ve said it loud enough, I want you to scream it.” He gently grabs your chin, forcing you to maintain eye contact with him. “I want the whole neighbourhood to know who’s making you feel good.”

[ticklish-touch]

I’m With You in the Dark

Last year, I made a poll seeing who would be interested in reading a story about my tickle monster Rags meeting my favorite character in Deltarune, Jevil. Even though I got a very positive response overall, I... chickened out. :’D I've always felt very self-conscious about writing fanfics, especially ones involving my OCs with canon characters. I grew up with other weeb friends who thought fanfic in general was very cringey and taboo. But at the end of the day, as long as people aren't writing about shipping real-life people or kink shit with minors, they have the freedom to write what they want if it helps them express themselves. Ever since last year, Jevil has become a very important character to me. There are hundreds of wonderful creative interpretations of him and his possible backstory; and, as someone who has depersonalization spells, existential thoughts about reality & the universe, enjoys making other people laugh even at my own expense, and a chaotic inner voice that constantly tells me "AREN'T YOU TIRED OF BEING NICE, DON'T YOU JUST WANNA GO APESHIT??" this little gremlin has become a comfort character; one that I also highly enjoy cosplaying. And, frankly, what better year to post a story about nihilism than 2020?  👍   So, this is just a "what-if" scenario, if someone else besides Gaster with some degree of omniscience was able to show the poor jester that there's more to life than just waiting for the Void to take over. And if anyone takes anything away from this, I just want it to be the hope that things will get better. You are allowed to be hopeful, and happy, and make positive connections with people even if you've had harmful experiences with people over past mistakes from either side. We're in this together; you aren't always going to be alone, your suffering won't be in vain. This, too, shall pass. So please, stay determined. Happy Halloween, everyone!!  🎃 🦇 👻 🤡 Story below the cut!

       The mischievous Nightmare felt a peculiar pull at his mind as he lurked through the foggy darkness in search of another playmate: A chaotic soul resonating with nearly as much feral playfulness and craving for laughter as his own. But there was something...Off. This mind, this essence, was splintered and broken, re-mended into something different... A shadow of its former self. Joy and mischief and enthusiasm for the world, replaced by existential dread and loneliness...

         The silent cry for help brought Ragaeli to a reality he'd never been in: One of the many infinite parallel dimensions to Earth that existed in the endless void of spacetime. At a brief glance, he could see there was a race called Darkners. They seemed to be the joy of childlike imagination brought to life; living, breathing checker and chess pieces, puzzle pieces, stuffed toys and squeaky mallets and lego blocks.

         And, within a card castle not unlike the story of Alice in Wonderland, deep within a huge cell locked by powerful magic, a rotund little jester with a black and purple wardrobe was bouncing about, creating myriads of dazzling diamonds, spades, hearts and clovers. He appeared to be an imp with a J-shaped tail, a round noseless face, pointy ears, deep black pits for eyes and serrated, lemon-yellow teeth stretched into a smile as he laughed gleefully to himself.

        The Nightmare split open a doorway of crackling energy, leaping through, landing on the indigo striped ground with a THUD. The floor was very plush and unsteady, like the inflated floor of a bouncy castle. "Weellll now, it sure seems like a party in here~ But what kind of party only has one guest, hmm?"

        Immediately, the small jester jumped, his head launching out on a spring coil like a Jack-in-the-box. "AIYEEE-!! What, what?! Who are you? Did...Did you escape too??" He glided over to the tall figure, eyeing him over. At first, his lips twitched and seemed as if they were going to form into a frown. But instead he responded with a forced grin. "Uee-hee hee, I see, I see... It seems they've finally replaced little old me~!" He bounced up on his tail to flick playfully at Ragaeli's chest bells, spiraling around him to tug at his flaps, hair and spandex. "Hmmm, not bad~ And you can't go wrong with being a stripey lad; I guess the Kings have some taste after all! But where is your hat?? A jester with no hat is like a witch without their cat!" He glided around behind Ragaeli and his eyes widened. "A hand on your tail?? Now that's just excessive!!"          "I must say your rhyme scheme is really quite impressive~" Ragaeli giggled, his head turned 180 degrees to look down at the jester.          Jevil couldn't help but giggle too. "Uee hee hee, why thank you, thank you~!" He hovered upside-down in front of the larger monster, summoning a deck of cards, shuffling them up. "The tales must be true, that each suit has two. A black and a red...I always assumed the other must just be dead!!" He snickered, making the cards disappear up his sleeve, then turned back upright, folding his arms, his purple tail lashing about behind him like an agitated cat, his tone twinged with jealousy. "Well since they've decided that red suits their court more, you'd better not be a bore! To replace me is to replace the wittiest of all the players in this castle full of nay-sayers!"

         "Hehehe, now, don't get your tail in a twist, I'm no replacement," Ragaeli playfully flicked one of Jevil's bells. "Name's Ragaeli, but you can call me Rags, Ragdoll, Ragtime, Rag-Tag, just don't call me boring, heheh~ I'm not even from this world, you see. Would you believe me when I say there are other worlds out there? Other dimensions?"          Jevil giggled at all the nicknames, then his face lit up, his annoyance quickly shifting to curiosity. "Oh yes, yes, I know it to be true!! He chuckled. "Your world, it is a game too? Or is it more "real" than what we can perceive?"          Ragaeli raised an eyebrow. "A game, hmm? I suppose you can say that," He smirked. "My world is, in a sense, "Not real" as well. Not to the people of Earth anyways. It's thanks to their thoughts and emotions, their hopeful desires in the depths of their darkest thoughts, that I exist at all. And because of that," His grin turned devilish and he rapped his fingers together in a comically villainous fashion. "I can appear to any of them that I want. I can play all kinds of games with them~ I have no limits to what I can do in my realm, and Earth itself is my playground, a game that will never end~"

         The jester listened with fascination, then cackled again, seeming elated as he bounced around in midair. "Oh I'm SO happy!! Someone else finally sees!! There is another who's been set free!!" Then his giddy tone turned to a snarl. "THEY didn't believe me!! THEY were all blind, blind!!" Magic energy crackled around him. "I ONLY wanted to HELP them!! I only wanted them to be privy to the danger, danger they would face if they didn't try to free themselves of this pointless rat race!!"         Ragaeli's brow furrowed. "Who's them? Who put you in here? A jolly little hellion like you shouldn't be locked away like this, 'specially if you think your castle's in danger."        Jevil quickly shook his head, puffing his chest out indignantly. "It is not I that has been locked away! They chose their own prison, they dug their own graves! The court wouldn't listen, they didn't want to play, and now for their bullheadedness THEY'RE the ones having to pay!!"

        The Nightmare latched onto the images flashing through Jevil's mind, learning bits and pieces about the royal court that ruled the dark castle. It definitely appeared that things were in disarray, and the court jester's loneliness bubbled into a well of resentment...         The continued rush of memories manifested into the image of a strange entity that came to the jester before his imprisonment: A ghostly creature, cloaked in inky blackness, with large round holes in his skeletal hands and a twisted grin frozen on his skull-like head, a single white pupil glowing out from the cracked eyesockets with a sickly light. Even the Nightmare, who had seen every hellish iteration of fear and hatred, knew that this...thing, was bad news. He existed, yet was nonexistant. He was fractured across all of time and space, yet remained trapped unmoving inside the Void. He was filled with hopelessness, bitterness, egoism, an unyielding ambition to drag anything and everything down into the same all-consuming darkness. An unfortunate victim of his own hubris, now a sociopath with cold disregard for individual worth except the desire to dissect everything and everyone he could latch onto. And it happened that Jevil, who craved mischief and adventure and purpose in his seemingly small role in the kingdom, was the latest test subject.         Ragaeli's hair stood up on end and a low, near demonic growl rumbled in his throat. "And what, exactly, did this thing show you?"         The growl made Jevil gasp, stopping him in his tracks, looking up at the large entity with trepidation. "H-He showed me everything, everything!! He showed me the beginning, the end of all things, he showed me the truth of this world and all worlds in the cosmos, that nothing is as it seems, nothing means anything, but because anything can be nothing, nothing can be everything--"          "Alright, enough, I'm stopping you right there, Lovecraft," In a swift movement, he tugged the rim of Jevil's hat over his face.         "YEEE- H-HEY!!" The frazzled jester fixed his hat, puffing his cheeks out at Ragaeli, his tail whipping about even more wildly.          "Whoever this Wing-dinged handy-man is sure isn't very handy if all he can do is fill your head with nihilistic nonsense," Ragaeli stuck out his tongue. "Sounds like someone who had a rotten time of it is now trying to ruin everyone else's fun."         "No, no, not at all!!" Jevil leapt on top of Ragaeli's head and perched like a cat. "Because of him, I can have more fun than I ever thought possible!! You'll see, you'll see!! They're bringing back the key!!" He giggled madly. "Three visitors, all questing in vain to bring an end to a game that doesn't matter, and once I am back inside their world of lies I will spread my truth everywhere and everyone will thank me!!" He cackled. "But first I should thank you for keeping me company~" He leapt off and glided in front of the Nightmare. From the center of his dark eyes, yellow irises began to glow brightly. "It's been so long since someone has lent an ear, so I'll show you my favorite game~"  In a flash, he launched a glowing diamond, sharp as a sword, at the speed of a flying bullet into Ragaeli's stomach.

         But the diamond disappeared on contact. Instead of yelping in pain, Ragaeli shrieked and doubled over as the energy shot a ticklish burst through him. "GYEEEE-HEEHEE!!"         Jevil looked baffled. "...What, what?? Laughter?" He tilted his head, summoning a spinning barrage of clubs that shot at Ragaeli's legs, chest and sides like machine gun ammunition.         And again, the Nightmare was bombarded with a barrage of ticklish electricity, causing him to crumple on the plush floor with cackling laughter. "AIYEEE-HAHAHAHA!!" After the sensation wore off, he continued to let out giddy laughter as he saw Jevil's incredulous expression. "WHOOO-WEE, now that was a good one!!"          Jevil couldn't help but snort back his own laughter at the Nightmare's comical reactions, but he seemed even more puzzled. "Is someone ticklish, ticklish? That isn't how I'm trying to play, but it makes things interesting, needless to say~" He giggled a bit. "But then...How am I supposed to play my game if you've got no numbers to claim??"          Ragaeli shook his head, jumping up into the air to recline as if laying back on a sofa. "You silly little imp, do you really think that's the only way to play with others? Taking this "HP" until they're gone for good? What would you do then when there's no-one left to have fun with?" He gave a pout.         Jevil shook his head quickly. "No no, they're not really gone!! Weren't you listening, listening?? It's all a game!! They can come back!! Losing is just a minor setback~!"

         The Nightmare raised an eyebrow. "And how do you know that?"         "Because the Stranger showed me!! He can mess with the code, he can change--"         "How do YOU know that?" Ragaeli barked. "Forget about him, can YOU bring them back??"         Jevil shrugged. "Perhaps, perhaps not, but if they lose then that's just how it goes~ Such is the way of this game we all play!"         The Nightmare rolled his eyes. "So... you wanna play by the game's rules, huh? How boring."

        The jester's malicious snickering immediately stopped, and he stiffened up.          Ragaeli narrowed his gaze, prying at the jester's mind a bit more. "What is it you've said? You can do anything? So why not shake it up and take this game into your own hands? If you're really free, then PROVE it!"

        For once, the manic jester took pause.

        "Think about what it is YOU want in this game we all call life!"

         Jevil lifted a gloved finger, unable to answer at first. Then his bright yellow irises faded again. "What I want...?" He lowered his head. "What I want..." A quiet giggle bubbled up from inside him. "I just want them to be free, free with me..." He hovered higher, seeming to vibrate with an intense magical aura, and raised his arms. The room began to spin around the central pole, as if it were revolving around the world's axis. "To break their cage and create a NEW stage, where everyone can play, play to their heart's content!! Free from this kingdom of rules and lies!!" He snarled. "I want them to PAY for making me play in my freedom all alone, every night and every day!!" He bellowed. Carnival music began to emanate from all around them, starting quiet then gaining in tempo. "I want them to say, "To HELL with rules, I will break these chains and embrace the chaos, CHAOS!!" He laughed maniacally, and from every curve of the rounded ceiling, more of his symbols appeared; Hearts, diamonds, spades and clubs, all aimed at Ragaeli, launching toward him like speeding bullets.          The Nightmare answered with his own giddy laugh. "Ohhh, how interesting! Well then, let's play for a while and I might just help you make your wish come true~!" He nonchalantly bounded away from the trajectory of the magic, dodging, swooping, teleporting and even dancing and pirouetting away. Occasionally they would hit, and once again he would shriek in surprise and burst into laughter. "GYAAAH-HAHAHAHA!!"          Jevil giggled, no longer bothered that his attacks weren't causing any 'HP' damage. "I wonder; How long will it take before you finally break~?"          The Nightmare smirked dangerously. "I could ask you the same thing!" His hair suddenly jumped to life, tendrils leaping forward and bombarding the jester's chubby belly, sending electric pulses of ticklishness through him.

         "UEEEE-HEE-HEEEE!!" Jevil shrieked with laughter and flailed for a moment before poofing himself to the other side of the room. A bright purple blush filled his cheeks and he clutched his belly, gawking at Ragaeli. "N...NO FAIR, NO FAIR!! IT WASN'T YOUR TURN YET!!"          Ragaeli giggled. "You really think a tickle monster is gonna play fair? Now what's the fun in that~?"          Jevil huffed and his pout shifted to a malicious grin. "Uee hee hee; Fine, fine, I also won't play fair!! Let's see you laugh about THIS!" With a flash, he summoned a large ornate striped sickle, teleporting close and taking a swift swing at Ragaeli, catching him in the middle of the striped pattern on his leotard.          The Nightmare's torso came clean off his legs, not with any blood or guts but with a cartoonish POP. "WHOA!! Caught me off guard with that one, took my top clean off ya did!!" His tone went cockney, and he grabbed his legs and re-attached them as if he'd been de-pantsed.

         Jevil balked, then doubled over backwards with laughter. "HYEE-HEEHEE HAHAHAH Oh my stahahars, you're a fun one, you are!!" His scythe disappeared with a flash, a new wave of glee bubbling up in him. "You really are like me!! Your body cannot be killed!! That means you can stay here and play as long as we want!! I'm so THRILLED!!" He laughed with jubilation and raised his arms, and from the walls emerged a bizarre set of carousel horses, with the bodies of rubber ducks, all of which began to circle rapidly around the room. "Go ahead, hop on~! But better watch out, these horsies have a mean bite~"

         The Nightmare snickered and dove into a cartwheel, throwing himself onto the back of one of the figures, which tried to toss him off like a bucking bronco. "Piece of cake, I've wrangled a few horsies in my d-AAGH!!" He was swiftly knocked off by a flying duck ramming him at full force, sending him careening into the spinning walls of the room. He bounced off of the squishy surface and lay crumpled in a heap, cracking up with hyena-like hysterics. Jevil, too, giggled hysterically at his opponent's prat-fall. It felt so grand to finally have someone to play with again!!

        And so, their antics continued. Jevil came at Ragaeli with everything he had, and the Nightmare almost effortlessly parried it away with his meaty hands or flexible limbs. As Jevil revealed more and more tricks up his sleeve, from his ability to shapeshift into his own scythe, to a downright unfair barrage of clover-shaped bullets, Ragaeli revealed that his tail could multiply into three, which crackled with red sparks; They lunged forward and managed to ensnare the manic jester, slithering against his round belly and backs of his knees, even slipping one of his shoes off to entwine their prongs between his clawed toes.         "AIYEEE-HEEHEEEE UEE-HEEHEE NOOOHOHOHOOO-HEEHEE!!" The ticklish shock to his system surprised the jester enough that his head launched out on its spring coil, before retreating back for him to grab the ends of his hat and hide his flushed face and goofy smile.

        The Nightmare snickered fiendishly at his reactions. "What's wrong~? Surely the court-appointed master of laughter can handle a little tickling?"         The playful taunting just flabbergasted the thrashing imp all the more. Not because he hated it; but because he, the clever jester with an unholy amount of magic energy had never been so easily bested by something that wasn't a physical fight... And on some level, it was thrilling. It felt so good to laugh with such passion; Real, true laughter, instead of a hollow imitation of happiness. Being unable to focus on anything but their game, on the consequences of each other's "attacks", took his mind off the dreadful, existential thoughts that plagued him, and made him think that maybe, just maybe, there was more to his and this world's existence after all...

          But in the meantime, it was his turn, and he was ready for revenge. He poofed himself out of the nightmare's tendrils and re-appeared underneath him, turning his scythe into a rubber mallet to send Ragaeli flying up near the ceiling. He smiled wickedly, summoning a barrage of attacks that started to morph into vaguely hand and feather-like shapes. With a clap of his hands, they rocketed up to the Nightmare, burying into his belly, ribs and armpits, slithering down the wide collar of his leotard, trapping his ankles into cuffs so that they could saw between his toes and whirl against his soles like fuzzy sawblades. The onslaught caused the monster to howl and screech with hysteria, thrashing and swatting at the symbols in vain. "GYEEEE-HEHEHEHEHEH WHY Y-YOHOHOHOUUU-HAHAHAHA~!!"         Jevil giggled devilishly. "Uee-heeheee, what's wrong, what's wrong~? You're the Tickle Monster, are you not? Or were you lying all along? Can't handle being at the wrong end of your own fiendish plot~?"         Ragaeli snarled in his laughter, attempting to swat at the jester with his tails. "GRAAHH-HAHAHAH SH-SHUHUHUHUT UHUHUP YOU L-LIHIHITTLE-!!" And yet, despite his protests at the unbearable attack, the Nightmare's laughter, too, resonated with excitement and elation. It echoed through the vast cell, emanating with such unbridled joy and wild abandon that it stirred something inside of Jevil. Something...Warm, and oddly reassuring. And finally, from the depths of the jester's scrambled mind, memories started to return to him...

         He once knew laughter as well, and more than that, making others laugh. The four Kings, laughing at his antics in the court; young Rudinns and Jigsawrys and a baby Clover, all laughing gleefully at his dazzling displays of card symbols, dancing ribbons and fireworks. The dancers in the halls laughing as the court jester pulled prank after prank on the uptight dolt Rouxls Kaard. The Spade King, telling him how eager he was for his son to be born, so that Jevil could teach him how to spread joy through the kingdom. And Seam, his dear friend, letting out a rare gem of laughter whenever he said a silly joke or snuck up on the wooly cat and tickled his sides...

         Before long, Jevil's magic was no longer set to kill mode; a fact that wouldn't have affected the reality-bending Nightmare made of laughter either way, but others caught in the crossfire would no longer be in danger of a "game over". His will began to shift, and now his projectiles were imbued with the overwhelming urge to make their target crumble into a heap of elated laughter.         Perfect. Ragaeli grinned gleefully, snapping his fingers and poofing himself out of the hold of the magic symbols, standing to face Jevil, folding his arms behind his head. "Well now, seems like something's getting through to that polyvinyl noggin of yours--"         That brief moment was all Jevil needed to re-appear behind him, lunging to rapidly scribble his fingers and prod his tail along Ragaeli's belly, snickering to himself. "You so easily let your guard down!! I thought I was the clown!!"         "GYAA-HAHAHAHA!! TH-THAT WAS ON PURPOHOHOSE!!" Ragaeli slithered his pronged tail up to scribble against Jevil's 'neck' and pointy ears, sending him flying back on his spring-coil with a yowl.

        Jevil wasn't sure how long their game went on. Minutes, hours, days? Time never meant much of anything in his personal freedom; But now, he never wanted it to end. If those three adventurers did ever come back with the key, this would be quite the sight to walk in on...         Before long, though, the jester's 'attacks' were weakening, and his large tongue hung out with panting breaths; it became harder for him to levitate, or to tap out from the tickle monster's ruthless attacks; Ragaeli could sense his growing fatigue and eventually stopped, letting Jevil collapse to the bouncy floor.

        "H-Hee-hehehe...That was fun, fun!! But enough is enough, you tired me up!" He giggled, but his grin turned to a pout. "But I don't want to sleep yet, I still want to play with everyone, everyone..."         "Ohh, I think that can be arranged~" Ragaeli's hand sparked and crackled with magic, making Jevil instinctively squeak and flinch. But he shook his head. "Hehe, don't be worried~ This will give your energy back." But he closed his fist and extinguished the magic. "But hear me out first. If you play to take away everyone's HP, they won't want to play with you. They'll just put you down here again."         Jevil snorted and folded his arms. "Well at least I wouldn't be caged in their prison again, again..."         Ragaeli could still sense negative thoughts plaguing his mind.

Not real. Meaningless. Trapped. Just a game. Not wanted, not needed. Afraid of me. They'll leave me again, again. Seam will leave me again.

        At the very least, these thoughts weren't as loud as before, and were being dulled by the hope that perhaps he could be welcomed back by everyone... Ragaeli narrowed his gaze and snuck his hair tendrils over to prod along his round belly and sides again. "UEEE-HEEEHEEE!!" He rolled over to the other side, hiding his flushed face again.         "Heheh, come on now, no need to hide that face every time I get a laugh outta you~" He managed to tug the jester's hat off, revealing short, dark curly hair and a small pair of horns. Jevil gasped, his eyes going wide and he reached over frantically trying to grab his hat back. "HEYY!! Just because you forgot yours doesn't mean mine's up for grabs!!"   Ragaeli chuckled. "Relax, you'll get it back, if you listen to me first. There's no use letting those thoughts get in the way of your fun, now is there? Even if you live your life 'confined' with the others, at least you'd still have playmates, right? You still have the chance to make amends and show your friends you're not going to let your story end. ...See, now I've been hangin' around you too long. You're turning me into a natural poet~"         The sulky jester couldn't help but snicker. "Even if I did, even if they want to be my friend, I can never see this world the same way again, again..." He trembled. "The vision, the prophecy... The skies will darken, the world will crack, the calamity will sweep away all in it's path...No matter how many broken bonds we try to mend; Whether we play or flee, everything will end!!" He choked back a wail, hiding his face in his palms, his pointy ears drooping back.

        Ragaeli rolled his eyes and sighed loudly, scratching his head thoughtfully for a moment. "Look; Of course things aren't gonna be the same. Of course things end someday. That's the point of LIVING!" The Nightmare barked and jumped up, causing another loud THUD as he stooped over on his haunches like an agitated mountain lion. "You change and you grow and you LIVE, despite how tiny or messed up you think your existence is. You CHALLENGE anything or anyone who tries to tell you that you can't find your way outta that dark tunnel. Fake? Real? Who CARES?? You're HERE! Your life is only meaningless if YOU choose to live it without meaning!!"         Jevil peeked out from under his hands as the deity ranted. He then scoffed, taking his tail and fiddling with it as he avoided Ragaeli's eye contact. "That's easy enough for you to say. Your existence, your world, isn't made to be a game for OTHERS to play."

        Ragaeli calmed down a little, patting his hair sympathetically and tweaking one of his horns. "Listen, Jev-In-The-Box. You're right about one thing. You can't change the circumstances that brought you into being. And sometimes, that really sucks." He frowned. "It sucks for those little mortals who have such little control over the society that keeps 'em prisoner. And even for someone like me...I can't change the fact that I come from a world that wouldn't exist without mortals. Any Nightmare can disappear in the blink of an eye if they aren't remembered by enough people."         "Really..??"         Ragaeli nodded. "That's why some of 'em try so hard to be remembered, even if it means playing with humans like cats torturing mice before they eat 'em. And I can't make them value life. But I also can't let them freely roam the world that imagined us up, or reality as we know it would fall apart. I can't even stay in other timelines or realities too long or I risk fading away for good."         Jevil listened curiously, a hint of a concerned frown crossing his face.         The deity shrugged. "So I just make the best of it, y'know? I have fun showing other people that their world isn't as small and hopeless as they think." The thoughtful expression left the entity's face as quickly as it had appeared, replaced by a devilish grin. "So YOU had better not let me catch you moping about in those gloomy thoughts of yours again," he poked Jevil's plush belly, making the jester squeal and bat his hand away. The Nightmare snickered. "And if I see you trying to end other people's game instead of finding ways to make laughter and excitement a part of your reality... Then I WILL be back, and I'll show you what it really means to be ticklish~" He narrowed his gaze and cracked his knuckles loudly, his body emanating with an aura of electric energy, his hair tendrils raising into the air like cobras poised to strike, wriggling their fingers and forming into bristles.

        Jevil shrieked and quickly scrambled back. "YEEEP-!! ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALREADY, I GET IT I GET IT!!" The jester first pouted at being told what to do. But something about the strange monster's words...Felt to be true.

        Ragaeli chuckled, his hair calming back down. "Of course, that doesn't mean there's no fun to be had in a bit of harmless chase," he flashed a devious grin. "You can make them pay, without making them go away, so that way you can all play again and again~ The eventual catch can be the best pay-off of all~"         The implication of the tickle monster's words started to sink in. A Grinch-like smile started to spread across the imp's face as terrible schemes came to his mind. He could play a game of 'Surrender' with anyone, anytime, and they wouldn't have to lose their HP over it. It could be one big game of hide-and-tickle, or tickle tag, or a test of endurance, or another way for the King to interrogate outsiders about Lightners...         Sensing that his thoughts had changed their tune, Nightmare gave him back his hat...And transferred a surplus of magic energy fueled by laughter, adrenaline and mischief to replenish his strength.

        Jevil gasped as if surfacing for a breath of fresh air, then giggled and sprung to his feet. "Fine, you've won me over, I hope you're happy! But I think we'll have to wait until the Lightners return with that key. Once they do, I'll wreak havoc in that boring little prison of theirs and this Joker will be the one to have the last laugh~!" He giggled fiendishly and rubbed his hands together, bouncing impatiently in place.

        Ragaeli smirked. "Hehe, no need to wait for a key. Prisoners break themselves out all the time, so why not just break in~?" He hopped over to the door, grasped his large hand around the bars, his hand emanating with crackling magic again... And the lock popped open with a click.         Jevil went slack-jawed. "Wowee!! You really are strong! I can't even best Seam's magic enchantments at full strength!" he then cleared his throat. "That isn't to say I couldn't have broken in all along. I just didn't want to is all," he shrugged and stuck his tongue out. "So now it's time to say...SO LONG!!" He cackled maniacally and shot like a bullet out of the door.

        When he flung himself from inside the cell, he saw the three travellers from earlier, now gawking up at him incredulously.         "W-What the-?!" Susie and Ralsei's eyes went wide.         Jevil instantly pounced them, rapidly bombarding them with scribbling fingers, rapid pokes and his tail slithering between their limbs. Shrieks of startled laughter answered him, even from the quiet, stoic one. They were too preoccupied with trying to flail away to notice the jester snatch the key out from under their noses. As soon as he had it, he stopped and hovered above them.         Susie panted for a minute. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! I'LL KILL YOU FOR THAT!!" she snarled, brandishing her axe.         "H-How did you get out?!" Ralsei questioned. "I thought you needed the key??"         Jevil merely answered with a wild grin, focusing his power in his hands until the key sparkled and crackled with his magic...And shattered into hundreds of tiny shards. Without another word, he rocketed up the winding stone steps, laughing incomprehensibly.         "WH...WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Susie shouted.         "I don't...think that was supposed to happen..." Ralsei scratched his head through his hat.         Kris just shrugged, and Susie grumbled. "We went through all that shit just to get the key and he didn't even NEED it!! I'm getting real damn sick of this stupid castle!!" She pounded the handle of her ax into the ground, huffing loudly.         Ralsei frowned. "Well, don't worry about him. I think it's time we go find Lancer, yeah?"         At this, Susie calmed down a little, sighing. "Yeah, you're right. We've kept him waiting long enough. Some mystery prisoner isn't any of our damn business."

        It was already too late, regardless of whether the heroes tried to go after him. The jester's second reign of chaos was swift and sudden. He ricocheted through the castle, his manical laughter echoing through every hallway, his bursts of magic visible like fireworks in the distance, his devilsknife and his magic attacks shapeshifting into other "weapons" like giant featherdusters, scrubbing brushes and makeshift hands. At first the guards were horrified that the infamous prisoner had escaped. But once they were reduced to shrieks of laughter and pleading and apologies, and Jevil declared victory before bee-lining to his next target and eventually leaving the castle, the denizens of the Darkner world were left flabbergasted, nervous, and perhaps even amused and curious to see if this "dangerous criminal" would return for more...

        Ragaeli watched the commotion smugly as he started to fade back to his realm. "Oh dear, it appears I've created a monster~"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        You make your way back down the elevator and stairs. You double-check your items, use the save point, and....         What the hell? The dungeon door is gone! Is this an easter egg of some kind? Did the game glitch out? You check your items again... The key is gone too.         Okay, something must be wrong. Before you make the decision to replay the whole game just for the hidden boss, you head back to Seam. Maybe talking to him again will re-trigger the events needed for fixing the key?

        But when you go inside the "Seap", it isn't just Seam anymore. The secret boss, Jevil, now has a full sprite, grinning gleefully at the player.

        [ * UEE HEE HEE, WELCOME, WELCOME LIGHTNERS! SO SORRY WE DIDN'T GET TO PLAY, PLAY. MAYBE ANOTHER DAY! ]

        You talk to Seam first, triggering his usual dialogue about how Jevil ended up in the dungeon, and how the heroes would eventually have to face the Knight. And, interestingly, an additional bit of dialogue explaining how the heroes just missed Jevil's "escape", and how his reunion with his old friend was filled with a great deal of laughs...         Talking to Jevil afterwards brings up more dialogue. You ask him how he got out of the dungeon.

[ *YES, YES, I SUPPOSE I SHOULD EXPLAIN THAT KEY. I HAD ANOTHER STRANGER COME TO ME! ]

[ *BUT THIS ONE DID NOT MAKE ME FEEL SO AIMLESS. IN FACT, HE SHOWED ME THAT I WOULD HAVE MADE QUITE A MESS! ]

[ * THIS MAY ALL JUST BE A GAME, AND YOU... YES, YOU OUT THERE...]

        His sprite momentarily came closer, his yellow irises seeming to bore right into you through your screen...

[ * -MAY HAVE MORE SAY IN WHAT RIGHTS WE CAN OR CANNOT FLAUNT. BUT I THINK, EVEN IN THIS PRISON, WE CAN STILL BE HAPPY, HAPPY, AND PLAY AS MUCH AS WE WANT! ]

[ * WHO IS REAL, AND WHO IS NOT? I DON'T THINK THAT MATTERS ANYMORE, ANYMORE. ]

[ * THAT SILLY RED MONSTER, WHO LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND REMINDED ME THAT THIS WORLD DOES NOT HAVE TO BE A BORE...]

[ * THE STRANGE WORDS HE SAID HAVE STUCK INSIDE MY SPRINGS. NOW MY VIEW ON THIS WORLD HAS BECOME JUST A LITTLE LIGHTER... ]

[ * AND I'M CURIOUSER, AND CURIOUSER, TO SEE WHAT THE FUTURE BRINGS~! ]

[babybottlepop96]

Jorogumo Chapter 2

Warnings: none that I can think of

The drive to the “murder” sight was short, only about another twenty minutes from the motel the group stayed at. You just listened here and there to the conversations around you while taking in your morning caffeinated drink. Jean and Connie were talking about some new video game they were playing called Nioh? Nile? Lego? You weren’t really paying attention, video games were a forgein concept to you. Levi was yelling at Hange because she put her dirty chucks onto his dashboard, Armin and Eren were discussing something about cheeseburgers? Ymir and Krista were cuddling and talking about whatever they were going to do when they got back home and Mikasa was sitting across from you, talking about something that, you once again, weren’t paying attention to. 

Levi waking you up at seven in the morning was somewhat of a struggle. You really should be used to it by now from how many times you and your friends convinced him to take time off work to drive you halfway across the country, but you could never really get used to waking up that damn early.

“Levi! I’m hungry!” Connie whined, scrunching his face up as if he was dying from hunger pains.

“I told you to eat the free breakfast the motel offered before we left.” Levi spoke, his voice sounding bored and irritated at the same time. 

“But they didn’t have waffles!” Connie continued to whine, plopping himself down on one of the bunks.

“Quit your complaining and eat this.” Ymir said while tossing him a protein bar. “Next time, listen to what the old man tells you to do. I don’t have the patience to sit here and listen to you bitch about fucking waffles.” This caused the entire group to laugh, even Levi chuckled a bit, though he tried covering it up with a cough. 

“Oh! Look! Were here! Levi pull over there! We can set up in that clearing!” Hange spoke excitedly, pointing her finger to the open spot where the truck from ten years ago was found.

“Fucking finally! That was one of the longest road trips ever!” You sighed out, to which Jean put his arm around your shoulder.

“Come on sis! Let's go take a quick look before Captain Levi decides to make us sanitize the dirt before he sets up the chairs.” He whispered into your which caused you to giggle.

“Yeah, let's go before we have to bleach the air.” You and Jean walked towards the wooded area, two small crosses stood in the dirt, Emilee and Jason’s names each written on one. “It's sweet.” You spoke after a moment, a soft breeze flowing through your hair.

“What is?” Jean asked, looking at you quizzically. “The fact that people died and vanished here?”

“No you ass butt.” You lightly pushed him.

“Don’t you dare go quoting Supernatural to me! Especially with how Cas-”

“No! Shut up! Don’t spoil it! I haven't finished it yet!” You covered your ears and you let out a laugh. “No, it’s sweet that even though no one knows what happened to Jason, that they still decided to memorialize him with the girl he loved.” You smiled gently, still looking at the small wooden crosses, small purple and orange wildflowers scattered amongst them.

“Yeah, I wish to find love like that one day.” He grinned.

“Stop being a fuck boy and maybe you will.” You shoved him as you finally entered the wooded area. 

“Over there.” Jean spoke, pointing to a specific patch of land.

“How do you know that's the spot?” You questioned, crossing your sweater clad arms across your chest.

“Did you even look at the crime scene photos I printed out?” He asked in disbelief. 

“Yes! Of course I did!” You huffed and looked away. “But just tell me anyway.” Jean groaned at your ability to not do anything for yourself at times.

“The bushes and the trees to it, it's the exact same as this photo.” He pulled out a folded up piece of printer paper that showed a photo of the crime scene after the body had been removed. 

“Oh, I see it now.” You walked up to the spot on the ground and touched the soft, dried soil there. “And she was just… drained of her blood? It is almost like a vampire. Did you get any toxicology reports? Could you find any? Maybe there was something else that could’ve caused that?” You asked, looking at your brother.

“Armin got that covered, you know, computer nerd and all.” He shrugged.

“Stop calling him a nerd!” You smacked his arm, causing him to laugh.

“What? Someone got a crush on blonde haired, blue eyed, computer wiz?” He teased, causing a small blush to tint your cheeks. 

“No!” You defended but Jean saw right through you.

“You do!” He wheezed, “Oh my Walls! You have a crush on computer boy!”

“Stop! I do not! And don’t quote anime to me you weeb!”

“A proud weeb, thank you very much.” He smirked while you huffed and willed the growing blush on your face to go away.

“Hey! Brats! Get over here and help set up this shit!” You two heard Levi shout from the edge of the woods. 

“Come on, let's go before Levi has an aneurysm.” You groaned, the two of you leaving the crime scene behind for now.

~~~

“Come on Sasha! Share some of those candies you got! I’m still hungry!” Connie whined, he was on his hands and knees practically begging his girlfriend to share her candy. 

“No! You should’ve gotten your own!” She smiled smugly and continued to munch on her snack.

“Connie! You're getting your pants dirty! You’re not getting into my RV with dirty ass clothes.” Levi scolded as Connie quickly got up and brushed his jeans off. “Here, use this.” Levi tossed him a small travel sized bottle of hand sanitizer.

“Damn, you really are a germaphobe aren’t ya, Levi?” Connie jokes, but all he received was a glare in return. 

Set up went smoothly, or as smoothly as it can when half the guys were goofing off and the girls were getting pissed off by the lack of help. Levi was about to commit another murder in the same spot that happened ten years ago.

“Okay, now that we have everything set up,” Armin spoke from his spot at the bench underneath the awning, laptop and other equipment set up around him. “Do we want to check out the crime scene?”

“Actually, I think (y/n) and you should stay here and look over the toxicology reports you found. (Y/n) was asking about them when we first got here. Isn’t that right, Sis?” Jean smirked as you slapped him subtly, he snickered. “The rest of us will go to the two sights, the one were Emilee died and the spot where Jason vanished.”

“I’ll stay and get lunch started.” Levi stated, he was NOT going into the woods.

“Oh, sounds good!” Armin smiled and moved over for you to take a seat next to him. As you sat down next to Armin, Jean sent you a subtle wink, which you replied with a not so subtle middle finger. Jean laughed as he and the others walked to the woods or to the spot where the truck was found.

“Okay, so what did the toxicology reports say?” You asked Armin as you scooted closer, shoulders just slightly touching each other’s, eyeing the laptop. Armin let out a small cough, cheeks tinting a light pink as he brought up the report.

“Well, obviously, the strangest part was the vampire or spider-like bite on Emilee’s arm and the fact that her blood was drained. Completely dried up, not even a speck of blood was found on the ground.” You nodded as Armin spoke, listening intently. “Now, something else I found was never disclosed to the public, was the fact that there were traces of an unknown poison or venom of sorts found in her organs.”

“Like a spider or a snake bite?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and concentration. 

“Yes, exactly! But the spaces between the bite wounds are too far spaced out to be a normal spider or snake. It’s about the width between a human’s canine teeth.” Armin further explained. “And the venom or poison or whatever was found at the bite mark, meaning that that is where the poison was given.”

“Couldn’t the ‘bite’ wounds just be from a needle? Because it would be impossible for a human to have something like that in their teeth.” You suggested.

“Already thought of that, there are no known needles to have that big of a width, the bite was from a human. But no one in the area or any one anywhere has natural or unnatural teeth like that.” He spoke, closing the laptop. “Oh, I should also mention that the venom they were able to get from the entry wound was found to be similar, not exactly, but similar to the properties of the venom from a Joro Spider. But they are normally found in places like Japan, China, Korea and even in Georgia here in the United States.”

“But none have been found here?” You asked, taking in all the information Armin just dumped on you.

“No, not around here. So that’s another mystery, if it was a murder, then how the hell did he even comit the murder since there no logical answer, and where the hell did he go? We live in a time where it’s almost impossible to be like the Zodiac or Jack the Ripper. Another question is what form of toxin was put into her body? We know it's similar to the Joro spider, but it has too many different differences to be from that spider or any known spider itself.” Armin sighed as he leaned back in his seat. 

“Maybe we are dealing with the supernatural.” You teased the blue eyed genius, he laughed at your silly notion.

“Fortunately, there are no such things as the supernatural. Everything can be explained through logic and facts.”

~~~

“So, Armin and (y/n), huh?” Eren asked Jean as Hange looked over the spot where Emilee was found. 

“They totally like each other. It's so obvious!” Jean smiled as he tried to peep at the two through the threes, which was practically impossible. 

“I think they would make a cute couple.” Hange spoke as they moved some dirt and foliage around and Sasha looked up into the trees as she snacked on some chips.. “They would be like, the nerd and the adventurer. The nerd makes sure his girl is well knowledgeable in anything she decides to do before doing it. Protective. Like a knight in shining armor, except his armor is his laptop and big brain.”

“She would be good for Armin. He has had a lot of trouble with girls, but (y/n) is nothing like the bimbos Armin usually goes for.” Eren confessed, crossing his arms as he looked around. “What exactly are we looking for, Hange?” 

“Anything that shouldn’t be here. I know the police and the forensics team already did a thorough sweep through the area, but that still doesn’t mean they didn’t miss something small.” She got practically nose deep into the dirt, eyeballing each individual grain, surely Levi will be pissed to see her face covered in woods. 

“Something like this?” Sasha came back to the others holding something shiny in her hand.

“What is that?” Jean asked as Sasha shrugged and handed the object to Hange.

“It's… It's a locket!” She exclaimed, opening the dirty piece of silver. “It's Emilee and Jason. Where did you find this!?” Sasha pointed to the nearby tree.

“It was in a hole at the base of the tree trunk over there.” Hange ran past them and began her search around the area Sasha pointed out.

“Nice work Detective.” Jean joked and Sasha smiled proudly.

“All in a day's work!”

~~~

Later that evening, everyone sat around the campfire, roasting hotdogs and making smores. They all discussed what they found, Connie, Ymir and Krista found nothing around the spot where the truck was left, Levi obviously didn’t do any searching so he was just listening to everything else, Armin and yourself explained what you discussed about the toxicology reports and your questions and conclusions, and Hange rambled on about the locket Sasha found. “Okay, Brats. Let's get this shit cleaned up so we can go to bed.” Levi spoke and everyone did their part of the cleaning.

“Hey, Connie.” Sasha whispered, getting in close to Connie’s ear. 

“Yeah, babe?” He turned to look at her, smiling bright as always when he looked at her.

“Want to see the spot where I found that locket?” She asked, obviously she was excited she was the one who found an important piece of evidence missed in the initial search.

“Yes!” The two snuck off towards the woods while the others piled into their respective beds and couches.

“No fucking in my RV! I’ll cut your asses off and put them above my fireplace!” Levi shouted from his place in the front seat. 

“Levi, you’re no fun.” Hange teased from the bunk behind his seat.

“Shut it, four eyes.” Hange giggled at the stupid insult Levi gave her back in their college days.

“Where’s Connie and Sasha?” Krista asked as she slipped into Ymir’s warm embrace on the pull over couch.

“I saw them sneaking off towards the woods.” Jean said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“As long as they aren’t fucking my RV, I don’t care.” Levi grumbled, closing his eyes letting his eyes rest. Suddenly, the RV door swung open and slammed against the counter behind it. The group looked towards the door to see Sasha, wide eyed, panting and covered in something red.

“Holt shit! Sasha!” You jumped up from your designated bunk and ran to your friend. What happened?!” Sasha stayed silent.

“Wait, Sasha?” Sasha turned her head towards Jean. “Where’s Connie?” Everyone looked at the brunette girl, eyes wide and ears listening. 

“Gone.”

[ddaenggtan]

are you gonna do anything for kookie's birthday?? i know a lot of writers are and i was hoping you might be one of them :)

I don’t have anything, tbh, because I’ve been mostly working on my fic for the Love Yourself Collab (which you should def check out bc I know at least one or two have posted theirs and I’m so hype to read them!!) and the sequel to mechanic!joon from the poll a while back. 

I will give you this crumb though, for everyone who read Chasing Butterflies and thoroughly enjoyed it the way I did. 

“I just don’t get it,” Nayun says as she straps her pads on. Jisoo doesn’t react and Rose looks like she might actually kick your asses if you aren’t on the court in ten seconds. “What do you not get? Like what about this situation is confusing?” You ask. “I’m whipped for Jungkook, we been knew, and he’s apparently through some great act of mercy also whipped for me, and he’s bringing every single one of his nerd friends to the match today. Which isn’t at all nerve-wracking. Whatsoever.”

Jisoo rolls her eyes and tugs harder at your laces. She always does your laces, she’s the only one with the upper body strength to tie the things well. You think she might actually be moonlighting as a secret BDSM dominatrix just based on the way she handles them. 

“No, I don’t get why you’re nervous. He’s seen you play before, didn’t he tell you that he tries to come to as many home games as possible? And his friends know nothing about the sport, they won’t know if you fuck it up.”

“Which you won’t,” Rose says from the door. "Because you’re good at this.”

“And because you’ll kill me if I fuck it up.” She doesn’t respond verbally, but the look she sends you radiates ‘yeah and what about it’ energy. “Look, I’m just...scared of disappointing his friends. He talks me up all the time apparently, and if they get bored or are unimpressed then...”

“What, you think he’s gonna break up with you?” Jisoo’s tone is teasing, but when she looks up to see the insecuirty on your face, she softens. “You put on a cosplay for him, and he’s liked you for almost as long as you’ve liked him. I don’t think he’s going anywhere.”  

You just nod, tugging at the laces as she finishes tying them. Realistically, you know she’s right. It’s been a couple months since that night in your apartment, and things have only gotten better. He still comes to the coffee-shop to hang out with his dweeb friends, even if he does spend the time waiting for them talking to you now. He still watches his dumbass anime, thoroughly enjoying your flat-screen to do so, even if he gets consistently distracted by the way you lay in his lap. You talk about your practices that he knows a fair bit about because of some anime, he tells you about his nerd shit that you don’t understand but enjoy hearing about anyway, you help him with his essays and he helps you with Organic Chem, and you even buy him little cupcakes every time he gets a new comment on his fanfic. Things between you are good.

You have no reason to worry, you decide as you push out of the locker rooms and head to the court to get warmups started. You spot him, sitting with his group of friends beside where Jimin and Taehyung sit with the rest of the guys’ team to watch your game. Your boyfriend - your whole chest gets warms as you think it, and you let yourself bask in it for a minute because it took three fucking years to get - looks adorable today; big, round glasses, with that soft beanie and a softer looking shirt. It’s got some kind of weird pumpkin(?) on it, with a point and sharp teeth and the back has a scythe and you vaguely recognize it. You’re pretty sure he watched it at your apartment a few days ago, but you also had his dick in your mouth, so you weren’t paying much attention to anything else. 

You wave back when he waves at you, big and excited and cute, and you’re once again hit with the urge to cover him in kisses while also maybe dangling him off a fifty-story building. His nose scrunches in that way you love and you ignore the way it has your stomach flipping. 

Rose pelts a ball at you and you catch it on sheer instinct. 

“Are you actually going to warm up or are you gonna be entirely useless today?” She asks. You glare at her and throw the ball back in response. If you didn’t have firsthand experience with how good she is, you’d wish she was your opponent so you could wipe the smirk off her face. 

Warmups go well. The team you’re supposed to be playing is good, supposedly pretty well-matched to your own, and you’re excited to see if it holds true. They don’t look especially intimidating. The biggest threat seems to be their captain - which is true for your team as well, Rose is terrifying - and there are a couple girls milling around in jackets and over-shirts. One in particular catches your notice; as you look, you realize it’s because Jungkook has the same jacket. Black, with a big-ass Old-English-styled L on the back of it, and some kind of writing you can’t see on the front and can’t remember from Jungkook’s, small and in the corner where logos usually go. 

You make a note to ask which anime that’s from, just to know in the future, and return to your warmups. 

The game itself is...well, it’s challenging. The other teams is as well-practiced as yours, they’re balanced against you pretty well, and all of you are enjoying the competition almost as much as you’re frustrated that you aren’t getting anywhere. Their captain - a shorter girl with pretty eyes and dimples - is an absolute beast and Rose looks simultaneously enraged and turned on, and Weeb Girl has been blocking you at every turn. She volleys every serve you give, manages to block every spike without fail, and you can respect that she’s good at this, but you’re also really fucking frustrated. 

It’s the end of the second set and both teams are ready for the ten minute break. You’re in the process of trying to drown yourself in your Gatorade bottle and really considering using the stuff to summon some kind of demon just so you can win the game, go home, stuff yourself with cheap burgers, and then fuck your boyfriend because you could tell from his face at one point that he was getting worked up watching you play, but before you can you catch sight of your friends whispering quietly to themselves. 

It screams ‘hey we’re doing something really shady and don’t want you to know, maybe you should immediately storm over and find out what’s going on’ so you do exactly that. 

“What the fuck do you mean ‘should we tell her?’“ You demand, keeping your voice as hushed as theirs. Nayun looks repentant and sorry, Jisoo actually literally makes the emoji face with the teeth, and Rose just purses her lips and gestures over her shoulder. 

You really don’t know what you expect to see, but Jungkook hanging over the side of the bleachers to talk to Weeb Girl isn’t it. His eyes are crinkled at the corners like they do when he’s excited, his glasses are half-down his nose and in danger of falling off because you aren’t there to push them back up like he enjoys, and he’s gesturing happily to Weeb Girl. And she....she looks just as excited, twirling a piece of hair between her fingers and batting her lashes up at him as she says something else that makes him laugh. You can’t realistically hear it, it’s too crowded and noisy, but you feel it when he laughs, every time. 

“We should call the police, she’s gonna kill her,” Jisoo says morbidly from behind you. 

“No,” You respond, scoffing. Your eyes don’t draw away from where your boyfriend is talking to Weeb Girl. “No, I’m not. She can flirt all she wants, it’s fine. Yeah, she’s blocked me at every turn this game, yeah she’s kinda really pretty, and she definitely has the ass for those shorts, and she’s wearing weeb stuff that she’s probably interested in and can talk to him about, but it’s fine. I know Jungkook, he’s not gonna do anything. He’s a good guy.” And you mean it when you say it. If there’s one thing that you’re sure of in your relationship that isn’t Jungkook knowing random weeb stats, it’s that he’s loyal. You know it, deep in your bones. 

You watch as Weeb Girl steps forward, cutting off whatever Jungkook’s saying to push his glasses up his nose, giggling as she does. Your fingers twitch because yes, that is your job, not hers, but it’s fine. It’s absolutely fine. Until her captain calls her back and she giggles again and waves, and Jungkook turns to sit and you see it. He’s got that pretty blush on his face, the one that tints his cheeks and makes him duck his head, the one you love so much but especially when you’re riding him and can get him to break out of the dominant persona he loves and turn pink with your words. 

And you know that your boyfriend is loyal and sweet and wonderful, can tell by the way he searches for you and melts into a smile like the ice cream you’re pretty sure you forgot to put back in your freezer before you had to rush out to get to this game. But pushing his glasses up is your job and that is your blush and you aren’t about to let some weeb queen take it from you. 

Rose looks pleased as you all take the court again. Jisoo looks convinced you’re gonna kill Weeb Girl, and you won’t lie; you’re definitely trying to see if you can will someone to set fire with only the power of your brain as you stare her down across the net. She looks entirely too pleased with herself and even dares to send a quick glance and a shy smile off at where you know Jungkook sits behind you, and you wish - not for the first time in your life - that you had Harry Potter powers and could just Crucio this fucker right now. 

Alas, you’re gonna have to settle for slamming a volleyball into her face. 

Nayun looks horrified at the sight, but you can tell Rose is holding back a smile even as the ref gives you a penalty that you willingly take. Weeb Girl looks pissed and also a little confused. Logically it’s not her fault that she chose to flirt with your weeb; and you can’t even fault her for it, because he’s gorgeous and sweet and perfect, but god damn what a day to do it. 

Throughout the rest of the third set, you’re basically unstoppable. You score three times on her, and you take a sick pleasure in the bruise that’s already forming under her eye. Her entire team looks confused, and you are too, because none of you are sure of where this sudden burst of skill and fury is coming from, but you’re determined to ride it out for as long as it lasts. 

When the game’s over, your entire team crowds you to celebrate. You’re a good player, you don’t have any allusions to that, but you’re also pretty much just reliably good. You’ve never played like that, not in your entire life, and you’re thriving with the knowledge that you even can. 

When they finally back up, you bolt before they can throw Gatorade on you, already climbing the stands. Jimin laughs as you shove him to the side, and you decide to feel guilty about the way he almost falls later, because right now you’re on a mission. You straddle the stand and fist one hand in Jungkook’s shirt, pulling him into a heated kiss that he doesn’t hesitate to return. In seconds you’re almost on his lap, one of his hands gripping your jaw so he lick into your mouth the way he likes while your free hand tangles in his hair. When you eventually pull back, he settles soft kisses along your jaw and you take great pride in looking straight at Weeb Girl. She doesn’t look mad, exactly; more resigned and slightly impressed, and you send her a wink that makes her roll her eyes. 

“Hey,” You whisper to Jungkook. He detaches himself from the mark he was determined to make behind your ear, and you revel in the blush on his face. It spreads across his face and along to the tips of his ears, and you want nothing more to than to make is spread further. “You wanna go put on some Haikyuu and break in your new mattress?” 

You don’t think you’ve ever left a game that fast in your life. 

[very-grownup]

THE YEAR IS 2020 AND I WATCHED NEON GENESIS EVANGELION FOR THE FIRST TIME, MOVIE EDITION

Some brief thoughts on the movies with the possibly huge caveat that I liked the end of Neon Genesis Evangelion and I don't think you can retroactively "fix" art.

Evangelion: Death and Rebirth. My friends told me this was basically a recap of the series followed by an "explanation" of the ending and I feel I cannot overstate how /good/ this series was throughout and including the movies at reusing, repurposing, recutting material. So throughout Death it felt less like a recap and more like Anno trying to condense the salient points he might have had reason to think the audience missed? There's a really good moment where it's that awkward first meal in Misato's apartment with her and Shinji and the audio from one of Misato's inner monologues about her struggle to be good for her mother and good enough to be loved by her father is used and ... that's the core. That's Misato, that's Shinji, that's why Misato tries to be what Shinji needs and also can't be what he needs, why she ultimately fails him, and it's such an important thing to underscore because the core of the series is Shinji's inner self.

I'm also interested in the one bit that's used twice, near the beginning and again at the end of Death, which is Shinji and Kaworu's final confrontation in the underground tang ocean. Like, that's indicative of how well this stuff is done. It's not a recap, it's a framing.

Rebirth is the "explanation" of the end of the series where I guess explanation means "NERV and all the robot stuff" because I think this is never not the same ending as the series, with the congratulation tang world. It's just congratulation tang was inside Shinji (important).

NERV, the robots, all that stuff (not important but very cool to look at and a useful conduit for information about Shinji and the people who inform Shinji as the series is happening) basically goes to fuck with MAGI getting hacked and the UN bombing NERV and killing everyone.

Shinji is inert and passively trying to die while Misato saves him and tries to propel him to action. Asuka is put in her EVA for protection and discovers the soul of her dead mother inside it and regains the will to do some badass fighting and throws a battleship at tanks. Rei has broken Gendo's damaged glasses and is hanging out mysteriously and nakedly in a tang vat until Gendo comes to her but like ... the kids are all essentially returned to some aspect of their square one. Shinji is passive and non-responsive, without will to live. Asuka is furious and fighting and confident and the confidence feels false, wrong in the way the congratulation applause in the tang felt wrong. Rei is once more an unknowable cypher. And then MASS PRODUCED WINGED EVA UNITS CIRCLE DOWN ALL RELIGIOUSLY. END.

Because throughout the series no one has really been interested in helping these damaged, lonely kids with their problems and the adults are all operating at mysterious cross purposes, of course what was happening outside the tang congratulations was fucking disaster war.

There's also a bit at the beginning of Rebirth that I guess I should acknowledge happening where Shinji goes to see Asuka comatose in the hospital and wants her to wake up to save him because she's the proactive one who /does/ things and isn't afraid. So he's shaking her and crying and jerks her body around and her bare breasts are exposed and he masturbates and feels horrible about it but I'm honestly more interested in what direction was given to Megumi Ogata for "sad masturbating teenage boy noises" than the scene itself. Like, Shinji hates himself, Shinji's disgusted by himself, Shinji does not feel he can trust himself, his body, his impulses, anything. Everything's tainted and violence and the self-loathing is all-consuming.

End of Evangelion, I am told, is the response to people hating Death and Rebirth which in turn was a response to people wanting a "real" ending to the series and this is why you should never let fans dictate you work to you and also why you can't /fix/ art. It contains all the stuff from Rebirth and maybe after a certain point you'd notice the "real" ending is all the stuff from the last real ending and understand that /was/ the ending, that everything else is a coda or a post-script that is elaborating on what was already there. Nothing in either of these films /changes/ the final episodes of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

But fuck does End of Evangelion allow Anno to append some gorgeous and horrifying visuals to the series. Like we get a look at the mass produced white, winged EVAs and WOW I HATE THEM and their weird smooth lizard heads with white human teeth and red lips pulled into smiles.

Gendo and Rei, by the tang spa? Part of her arm just /falls off/ and there's the little nubin of white bone jutting from the remains of her shoulder and Gendo puts his hand INTO HER and draws it downward so she can make him one with his dead wife once more.

Asuka's EVA is unplugged and runs out of power after she's defeated the white EVAs and then they regenerate and she tries to muster up the energy to fight them again and a spear /pieces her head/ and goes through her eyes and the white EVAs swarm her like vultures. The white EVAs /eat her/ and expose her EVA's entrails and leave her and the EVA ruined and then just pepper her all over with even more spears and she's writhing and contorted with agony, dying, and they're flying away.

Rei rejects Gendo and goes to merge with Adam Lilith Trevor but not before Ritsuko shows up to shoot Gendo, only to get shot herself, and Rei goes into Adam Lilith Trevor and they are one and the purple ... faceplate? Mask? Falls off and underneath the face becomes Rei's.

Misato dies getting Shinji to the robot, sending mixed messages and good lessons mixed with bad right until the end, but ultimately Shinji doesn't get in the robot, the robot awakens and forces Shinji into the robot and there's a massive surfacing and laser wings and screaming.

End of Evangelion: there's a lot of screaming.

Rei becomes a terrifying giant and guess what /everyone is turned into the orange tang/ except Gendo who gets eaten by the EVA and screaming traumatized Shinji who is kind of forced to be the key in a sephiroth arrangement in space by the white EVAs. Shinji's ego dissolves and he and his EVA become a new world tree and there are eyes all over it and that's how giant Rei can turn the whole world to tang and it's visually stunning, there's so much cool visual stuff but it's not really telling us anything new. It feels like the animated version of having a really solid five page essay and being told you need to hand in a ten page one. So you tweak the font size, the margins, the spacing. You pad out the word count by restating things unnecessarily. Maybe some of those redundant sentences are beautiful, maybe they're better than what you originally wrote in some aesthetic sense ... but they're saying the same thing.

The Human Instrumentality Project is about saving humanity by destroying it, finding safety and understanding by removing individuality. With no separation of self and other there can be no hurt, no betrayal, no lies, no being alone. That still happens. That still has a great appeal to a psychologically troubled child who has only known abandonment and disappointment and being seen by others only when he has value to contribute to their goals.

The addition to that brought by End of Evangelion is Shinji having dialogue with Rei and Kaworu about what is lost in choosing the tang and explicitly coming to choose leaving the tang and becoming an individual again, even knowing it comes with pain. I don't think that's a change to the original ending so much as it is an explicit acknowledgement that the series ending was not good or real or happy for Shinji, but neither is the ending when Shinji chooses individuality and pain and risk.

There isn't a happy ending for what Neon Genesis Evangelion was really about, there isn't a simple happy ending for Shinji (or Rei or Asuka), there's just figuring out that you are someone who deserves to continue to get to choose, no matter how fucked up you are.

And when the giant Rei gets her head sliced from her neck and it falls and you see the individual bones from her spine fall, that's really fucking cool. There's so much here that's /really fucking cool/. But nothing that made me cry like Shinji being made to destroy Tohji.

I'm glad I watched both movies with my friends tonight. Anno's an incredibly skilled director, but I think it's that skill combined with the messy, raw emotional core of the series that's made the series so iconic.

Shinji's a good kid and '90s weeb culture did the series dirty.

[cinnaminsvga]

🌀 social media au where namjoon is the head of research and development for the korean intelligence and he has to protect an innocent civilian from a mafia attack –– except that he’s got the wrong person 🌀

A/N: The last two (three?) updates for this series will mainly be in prose, mostly because I didn’t know how else to convey the Scenes™️ in text form without it being weird... Anyway. Here’s this! || W.C. 2.6K

prev // part 23 // next links added later.

[updates every mwf + sat/sun at 12PM PST]

When you finally regain your consciousness, it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to their surroundings. The cold cement underneath your body is unfamiliar and disconcerting, helping you snap out of your dizziness long enough to realize that you had no idea where you were.

“Fuck.” Panic seizes you as you stare at the concrete cell you find yourself in. There is nothing inside the small room except yourself, some empty wooden shelves, and a metal door to your right, though you imagine that this room might have been used as a supply closet at one point. That doesn’t help you understand where you are, however.

“I was… at home? And then… I was texting Mafia Man and... oh fuck. The mole. Hoseok!” You exclaim, scrambling to your feet before falling face flat once more onto the floor. “What the hell..?” You see that you had tripped over the ropes that were binding you, as it seems that the ones near your legs had untangled somewhat.

After a bit of fidgeting and clawing at the rope, you manage to free yourself with only a small rope burn by your thigh. Whoever had tied you up must not have had much experience with tying people up, but luckily for you… Well, let’s just say being a horny weeb has its perks in times like this.

Unfortunately, your captors had remembered to lock the door, and no matter how hard you slammed your body against it, it didn’t look like it was anywhere near buckling down. “Let me out!” you scream, despite how futile and stupid it is. You continue to bang your fists against the metal regardless. “Once I get out of here, you guys are gonna get absolutely fucked by my yakuza boyfriend!”

No response. Either your guard was scared of the prospect of your (not) imaginary boyfriend, or they had left you alone without a guard. Frankly, you’re more offended if the latter is true because that means these mafia assholes were certain that you wouldn’t make it out on your own anyway.

“Well, it’s true but they still shouldn’t do that,” you mutter angrily to yourself, sliding down to the floor and hugging your knees to your chest. Well, guess you should start getting comfortable if this is going to be the way you’ll live for the rest of your short lifespan.

“Let’s hope Mister Mafia-Slash-FBI Man figures out I’m gone and comes to rescue me,” you say, though the dejected tone of your voice makes it all apparent that you hold no faith in those group of bumbling idiots. “They didn’t even know they had a mole in their presence! I’m gonna fucking die all because of stupid FBI man…”

At the very least, if you make it alive… FBI Man definitely owes you, and you already know what you want in return. “Hot yakuza boyfriend… wait for me,” you sigh dreamily to yourself, closing your eyes as you wait for whatever your future will bring.

“I don’t get paid enough for this,” Namjoon growls lowly to himself, the beginnings of a migraine starting to form. He had just turned off his phone to keep it from ringing, just in case Jungkook doesn’t listen to him and tries to call him and consequently give away his cover. “I can’t believe I’m saving this stupid weeb dumbass. I could die. Or worse, I could lose my job! Fuck!”

Namjoon would have loved to recite a litany of curses for a longer period of time, but the sound of footsteps from behind the abandoned warehouse walls causes him to clamp his mouth shut. He can feel his heart jump to his throat as he strains his ears to hear the conversations of the men behind the walls, trying to pinpoint the recognizable voice of the man he thought that he could trust.

“Did you see that girl that Hoseok brought in to the compound? She looked like a piece of work.” A rugged voice laughs, his deep timbre reverberating even through the walls. “Wonder why he would go through so many lengths to capture her.”

“Maybe Hoseok just likes his women like her,” another voice replies. They sound like they’re getting closer to where Namjoon is standing, and he hopes that they don’t suddenly decide to open or close the door that someone had left ajar. “Bit of a surprise really. Didn’t think he even swung that way.”

“I guess he just didn’t like the girls up in the clubs we go to. Either that, or I didn’t think he was interested in that sorta thing. He looks pretty young, probably the same age as my lil bro. It’s a wonder why he even joined the gang in the first place,” the first man says, and Namjoon can’t help but wonder the same thing. “He’s a real weirdo, that one. A great spy for us, though.”

“I know! Can you believe he got through the resident genius of Korean Intelligence? What was his name again? Kim Namboob or something?” Namjoon almost whines at that, having to shove a fist into his mouth to keep himself from yelling at that rude piece of scum. Namboob! He didn’t graduate university at the tender age of 10 to be scorned like this!

Another pair of footsteps sound like they’re coming closer as well. “You guys talkin’ about me?” The new intruder giggles, and Namjoon feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand up in attention.

It’s Hoseok.

“Not at all, kid. Though, now that you’re here, we wanted to ask how your little whore is doin’. You gonna keep her all to yourself or are ya sharing her with the rest of us?” The two men laugh loudly at that. Namjoon grits his teeth in anger, wanting nothing more than to burst through the doors and punch them right where it hurts (though he imagines his limited upper body strength would only cause his fist to break in the aftermath). As much as he thought you were an annoying piece of shit, no one deserved to be spoken about like that.

And it sounds like Hoseok agrees. “Fellas, I’d really appreciate it if you don’t make jokes like that. Ever. These people might be our hostages, but they’re still people. We’re living in 2019, for fuck’s sake.”

The gruffer man snorts. “Geez, kid. Learn to take a joke. Ain’t none of us touching her, anyway. She looks like one of those crazy bitches who spurts their gurts for 2D guys or something.”

Though Hoseok doesn’t reply to that, Namjoon nods his head in agreement. Oh, how right he was.

“Anyway, we’re heading out. Boss says you can keep your girlie in there for another two days, but then you’re gonna have to deal with her after. He’s getting pissed since the feds won’t give up the ransom money for that Halsey girl, so you better not get on his bad side today.”

“Right. See you boys around,” Hoseok says, and it takes a second for Namjoon to scramble away from his position and hide behind a lone metal barrel. He makes it just in time as the two men exit the warehouse, the glint of their guns visible even in the moonlight.

Close one, Namjoon thinks, breathing hard as the adrenaline in his veins refuses to die down. Now’s his chance to sneak in and follow Hoseok to where you were likely being held captive!

He waits for Hoseok to walk away first before poking his head through the door, trying to keep his movements as silent as possible (a feat in itself, as his limbs tended to have a mind of their own sometimes.) He sees Hoseok turn the corner, and Namjoon hastens to follow him, carrying his footsteps while also trying to keep up with the traitor’s quick pace.

They walk through a few corridors, passing a few rooms that Namjoon is itching to investigate, but he focuses himself on the task at hand. Get Y/N, make sure she’s okay, then leave. Anything else other than that can be handled by the Six once they arrive. He wonders if he should make a detour and try to find Halsey as well, but it sounds like from Hoseok’s conversation a while ago that she would be more heavily guarded, so he swallows down his guilt and trudges on towards the lesser important hostage. (You suddenly sneeze in the distance.)

When Hoseok stops right in front of what looks like a supply closet, Namjoon has to skitter to a halt, holding his breath and hoping that Hoseok hadn’t heard the squeak of his shoes. Lucky for him, Hoseok seems none the wiser as he pats his pockets for the keys to your makeshift holding cell, opening the door wide open and revealing your prone form on the floor—

“YOU FUCKING BITCH!” Your sudden shout causes Hoseok to flinch back in shock. In a flash, you stand up with your hands raised, landing a punch against Hoseok’s left cheek that left him groaning in pain. “What the fuck!” you screech, clutching your fist in pain. “Damn you ikemen boys and your sharp jawlines! You fucking hurt my hand!”

If Namjoon was in an anime, he’s sure there would be one of those cartoon sweatdrops illustrated just above his head right now.

But Hoseok was quick to recover; he grabs you in a chokehold, subduing you to the floor with a grunt. “Please, don’t make this any more troublesome than it has to,” he murmurs, forcing your face onto the dirty concrete. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I really don’t want to hurt you but I can’t let you run off just yet.”

As Namjoon watches you struggle against Hoseok’s hold, he feels searing anger and protectiveness suddenly surge through him in waves. How dare that fucker touch you like that! Are we in some sexist BDSM Wattpad fanfiction or something? Hell no! It is that overwhelming wrath that causes Namjoon to jump out of hiding, wrenching you free of Hoseok’s grip with a strength he did not know he possessed.

“Y/N! Are you alright?” Namjoon huffs, struggling to keep Hoseok in place. When Hoseok realizes who it is, he stops squirming. Namjoon ignores him for now, accessing you for injuries. “They didn’t do anything bad to you, did they?”

“Who the fuck?” You splutter, your eyes bugging out of their sockets. You stare at Namjoon, unmoving for what feels like hours. Namjoon still has to latch onto Hoseok to keep him from lunging at you again, though he seems just as perplexed by Namjoon’s sudden appearance as you were.

“Namjoon?” Hoseok tries to twist himself to face him, jaw agape. “What the..? You never do fieldwork! What are you doing here?”

Meanwhile, you were over there like, “Huh? Hughhdfh? HHSHJFHDF?” Truly a person of many talents, you were somehow able to verbalize a keysmash in real life. “HHSFFJKFSKFS?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m here to turn you in and save Y/N, you filthy traitor,” Namjoon growls, surprising everyone with how menacing his voice had gotten. “I can’t believe you fucking drugged our teammates! You betrayed all of us when we had accepted you like you were family!”

“I know, okay? Believe me, I fucking know,” Hoseok sighs, shoulders sagging. “If there was any other way, I would’ve—“

“YAKUZA BOYFRIEND?” You scream, interrupting the heated conversation in front of you. You have your hands splayed dramatically across your chest, the expression on your face comical. You raise a trembling finger towards Namjoon, pointing almost accusatorially at him. “You’re the dude from the picture! Hot yakuza dude! What the fuck? Am I dreaming? Is this some twisted joke, or am I having a wet dream again?” You pinch yourself. “Ouch! Nope, I’m not fucking dreaming.”

“Y/N, I can explain later, but we have to get out of here,” Namjoon starts, but Hoseok takes this as his chance to escape Namjoon when he feels his grip loosen slightly. Hoseok elbows him straight in the sternum, stealing Namjoon’s breath and knocking him down to the floor. He goes to grab you again, holding his arm around your neck and facing the two of you towards Namjoon. Then, you feel a hard cool metal object pressed above your right ear.

“Don’t you dare move, Joonie,” Hoseok warns, holding you tighter. You whimper pathetically, going stock still as fear encompasses you whole. Oh shit, you forgot that you weren’t an anime heroine for a moment there. Namjoon goes still as well, hands raised mid-air as he stares pointedly at the gun placed by your head.

“Hoseok, don’t do this,” Namjoon says as calmly as he can. He can feel his heart hammering against his chest, and his vision is beginning to swim from the nerves. This is where his lack of fieldwork training is made apparent, and he’s never regretted skipping out on PE more than he did right now. “Let’s not get hasty here…”

He doesn’t falter. “Leave, then. If you don’t want to see Y/N hurt, then it’s best you stay far away from here. Call off back-up as well. I don’t want any fighting going on tonight.”

Namjoon grits his teeth. “You know I can’t do that.”

You gasp when you hear the sound of the gun clicking. “Joonie, I’m asking very nicely,” Hoseok says, calm. “Is this girl really worth risking your life over? You and I both know that I can easily kill the both of you. Why don’t we keep the casualty count as low as possible and go on our merry way.”

“Yeah?” Namjoon feels himself laugh, but he doesn’t quite know what’s funny. He’s running on pure adrenaline right now, trying his best to stall for as long as possible. Any minute now, back-up should come… If he knows Jungkook at all, he’ll have tracked his phone even after he had told the younger to leave him be, so at the very least he can rely on him arriving. But the only question remains is… when? Hurry, Jungkook.

“How can I be so sure that you won’t just kill Y/N and I once I turn my back, huh? I know I’m an idiot when it comes to real-life battles, but even I’m not that naive.”

“I swear on my life,” Hoseok says. His gaze is stoic, but there is a fire burning behind them. “I swear on my father’s grave.”

Namjoon stops, hanging onto Hoseok’s words. His father… If he remembers Hoseok’s personal file correctly, he knows that Hoseok’s father had died at the hands of loan sharks. Was that why Hoseok was working with the mafia? To pay back his debt? Or to exact revenge?

“Hoseok… Is that why?” Namjoon mutters to himself, posture slackening. He feels the flames of guilt licking up and down his spine. Hoseok watches him curiously, though his grasp on you doesn’t wane.

“Why what?”

“Your father… He’s the reason you’re with the mafia, aren’t you?”

Hoseok’s face gives it all away. As much as he is a spy, he’s still an expressive type of guy, especially when it came to his family. His mouth crumples into a ㅅ shape immediately. “Namjoon. Please, just leave, alright? I’ll take care of Y/N. Even though it seems like I’ve betrayed you, just… Just trust me, okay? I don’t go around betraying family unless there’s a reason.”

Namjoon hesitates. He feels his guard slowly falling, despite knowing that this could just be another trick Hoseok is employing to dig up his weak sentimental side. Curse me and my stupid empathetic heart! he thinks disappointedly to himself. 

Just as Namjoon is about to make a decision, the three of you are surprised when you hear the telltale sound of another gun clicking behind you. From the shadows, another figure appears.

“Freeze. Nobody fucking move.”

Then, you scream.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Don’t Tread on Me

I’m no stranger to foreign cinema. I just wrote a whole as thing about an anime and dropped a Select on Godzilla films. While i am a weeb, i actually love French media just as much. I really don’t talk about that, though. It’ weird because they create excellent sh*t. Raw was a gloriously brilliant take on sibling love and i adore Amelie. One of my favorite bands is Yelle. F*cking Daft Punk has been a staple in world since Discovery dropped way back when. Wakufu, Moebius, and Metal Hurlant or Heavy Metal for the Americans in the room, are consummate favorites. Luc Besson has been a prominent figure in my adoration for cinema going all the way back to Leon and his Valerian inspired, The Fifth Element, is on my all-time list. The French make dope sh*t so when i heard Portrait of a Lady on Fire was getting aggressively brilliant reviews, i was all in. The thing is, though, i live in the armpit of California and there was no way this movie was going to make it here. I had to wait. And wait. And wait. But then it dropped on the Hulus! I noticed it was on here after checking out Palm Springs, they’re both Neon films, so i definitely had to partake. Spoiler alert; I F*cking loved this dope French sh*t, too.

The Best

The two leads, Adele Haenel and Noemie Merlant as Heloise and Mariannne, respectively, are amazing. Their performances make this movie. their chemistry fuels the vigor captured onscreen. Their casting was perfect. I was a little taken aback by how incredible these women can act, not in the sense of they’re less than a man or whatever, but more they got literally everything out of that script. They wring it dry and gave us one of the best films i have ever seen, in any language. Absolutely breathtaking.

In order to get these performances out of her actors, Celine Sciamma had to come with equal heat with her direction and she absolutely does. The way this film is constructed is truly inspired. The choices she made, from shot composition to the lack of an instrumental score, made each scene that much more potent. This film is a work of art and Celine Sciamma guided it with deliberate, intentional, passionate, strokes.

The Better

The use of light and shadow in this movie is incredible. It has the effect of surrounding this flick with a warm, detached, ambiance. It feels very homey, very earnest. It’s weird to say, mostly because i don’t normally feel the technical aspects of cinema are worth mentioning, but the lighting of this movie is just that good.

There is a quiet despair that runs through the length of this film. It’s rather raw but subtle in the same breath. It feels mundane at time but the overall tone is very consistent. This movie knows the story it wants to tell and does so exactly the way it wants to.

I love how this movie is shot. There are a lot of handhelds and everything is pushed in tight. The actors have no place to hide, they have to be great in order to pull off this type of shoot. They are, mind you, it’s just quietly intense how intrusive the camera work is in this thing.

This film is gorgeous. I’m not a massive fan of period pieces, but I've learned to appreciate their unique beauty over time. I kind of feel like it’s  cheat genre for the Oscars, like the biopic or musical, but this one deserves every accolade thrown it’s way. I am awestruck by the gentle elegance displayed in every shot. From the costumes, to the location, to the cinematography; All of it is just so goddamn sublime.

This script has to be incredible because i was hanging on every word spoken throughout the entirety of this film’s run time It had to be on point since we spend so much time i with the two leads. Nothing ever feels forced, Nothing ever feels manufactured. Everything said feels incredibly organic and genuine. It’s more than just a performance, these people became these characters and it’s it’s amazing to witness.

The Meh

The pacing in this movie is very methodical. It takes it’s time telling it’s story. I’m fine with that but I've noticed that most people are not. They need action and explosions and effects. This film is not that. It’s the character study of two women exploring themselves, through themselves, knowing how futile and doomed that relationship is. One could make the argument this is a tragedy, and it is, but it’s not cruel. It’s just very, very, sad. I think, in order to properly tell that story, you need this pace in order to see everything. In order to lay bare this script, you need to spend as much time with it as possible and, i think, this movie does just that.

Portrait is a French language film. That means there are subtitles. You’re going to have to read if you want to partake in this glory. Personally, that’s not a problem for me. This film had me the second Marianne hot the ocean. Other people, though, night have a harder time getting into this thing. I implore you, don’t let a few words stop you from experiencing this movie. It’s absolutely worth you engaging in every way possible.

The Verdict

I love this film. It’s absolutely brilliant, in every way imaginable. There are certain things that, i think, ill turn of the common American moviegoer, the length, the acing, the language, but those things are easily ignored if you actually allow yourself to engage with this movie. All of those gripes that would hold it back, become real strengths and it’s properly magical to witness. Adele Haenel and Noemie Merlant turn in some of the best performances i have seen in years, at the behest of Celine Sciamma’s ardent direction. The story, itself, is incredibly bittersweet. It’s a little trite but the way it’s told come across as very personal, very solemn; Something that is rarely captured in the overproduced, effects driven, Hollywood fare you see every year. This film is sort of a palate cleanser for all of the vapid trash i consume during summer but it really is so much more than that. There is a love and reverence in this film. This is someone’s passion project, someone’s baby. You feel that.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire is a modern classic and you’d be doing yourself a disservice not to give it at least one screening, especially if you consider yourself a lover of film.

[kasplode]

Cool, Sweet Summer

My piece for the @katsukitchen zine! Don’t hesitate to check it out, leftover sales close on the 1st of March! All proceeds go to charity :D

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia (My Hero Academia, for the non-weebs)

Words: 1,000

Summary: 

The air is thick with humid summer heat, echoing with the woes of the poor souls trapped in it. Stuck in the dorms for the day, Mina and her friends deal with the weather maturely: they’re sprawled before the television, acting like children as they waste the day away.

Mina does them all a favour and makes something to help them beat the heat.

__

The air is thick with humid summer heat, echoing with the woes of the poor souls trapped in it. Stuck in the dorms for the day, Mina and her friends deal with the weather maturely: they’re sprawled before the television, acting like children as they waste the day away.

Eijirou moans, sprawled over the couch. “It’s too hot! I hate Japan, I’m gonna live with Santa at the North Pole.”

“Santa isn’t real,” Hanta mumbles from the floor, “and he isn’t Japanese, anyway.”

Denki sits up on the recliner, squinting. Strands of hair stick to his face with sweat. “How can he be not Japanese and not real? It can’t be both.”

Mina sighs to herself as they debate the precise language that might imply Santa is real. She’d laugh along, but the weather has her feeling too lethargic to; instead, she rises from her spot on the floor and wanders to the kitchen for a drink. Its tiled floor is cool, and Mina considers collapsing on the spot to starfish over the blessedly cool tiles.. But that would be super weird. And weird is Denki’s job, not Mina’s.

Mina basks in the waft of cool air the fridge releases, considering her options. Nothing appeals to her; everything they’ve got is so boring... And she’ll die if she can’t find something!

Then, she spots a packet of strawberries; her only hope. On her phone, Mina finds the recipe and makes her decision. She licks her lips, and eagerly collects what she needs.

But first, a sample. She pops a strawberry into her mouth, enjoying its cold firmness before biting through the flesh. Sweet acidity bursts through her mouth, cool on her tongue as she chews and swallows the yummy fruit. They’ll be perfect for what she’s making.

She chops, juices and blends, spoons servings of the mixture into ziploc bags, places them in the freezer. She washes her hands, sticky from juicing lemons, and returns to her friends.

When she returns to the t.v. area, Katsuki and Kyouka have appeared. Katsuki is spread obnoxiously over the couch beside Eijirou, and Kyouka is laughing at Denki as he rants passionately about Santa and grammar. Mina gets a round of greetings as she enters the room, taking her place on the couch beside a snorting Kyouka.

“Where were you?” Kyouka asks after she recovers.

Mina winks and raises a finger to smiling lips. “It’s a secret!”

Conversation is relaxed and steady as they lounge about, taking up all the space of the living room. Usually they’d lay over each other, all comfortable and familiar. But today, it’s too hot to contemplate touching another person, so they’re sure to leave room for Jesus as they suffer through the heat. Before long, Mina must excuse herself from the relaxed little group so that their drinks-to-be don’t become literal blocks of ice.

Mina learned this recipe a few weeks ago, when the heat of summer show itself and she’d complained about it one too many times. The next thing she knew, she was dragged to the kitchen with Katsuki chopping fruit. “You like acidic foods, yeah? I’ve got a recipe you’ll like. It oughta stop your whining.”

Mina had blinked at him, then, surprised by his friendliness and consideration. When the recipe was done, a slushy served in a nice glass with a pretty pink strawberry on top, Mina tried it and she saw god. ...Or, well. She didn’t—it wasn’t that phenomenal—but it did taste really good, and Katsuki had admitted the recipe was inspired by her, and the whole thing kinda made her cry.

Katsuki, the awkward little shit, just patted her uncomfortably as she hugged him like a teddy bear. Once she pulled away, he looked away, very obviously unable to cope with affection. When he calmed down again, he told her one last thing. “Make this stuff when summer hits, and you’ll have the idiot parade wrapped around your fingers before you can say ‘Alien Queen’.”

Mina remembers that day rather fondly.

With only a few trips to the freezer, the liquid freezes to a slushy consistency. She tastes a spoonful, hoping it’s good enough for the so-called idiot parade—and it is. It melts in her mouth, cold, sweet and tangy, tasting of freshness, of sunlight baking beach sand, of condensation rolling down a glass. She prepares a serve for everyone, making it all nice and pretty, topping each one with a strawberry. A glorious treat, if she says so herself.

Mina announces herself with a boisterous call, wearing a giddy grin and vibrating with excitement. “Bow before your benevolent master, peasants!”

After a moment of shock; “Yes Master!” Denki and Eijirou call, running to her. Hanta follows on their heels, staring at her tray of cold, fruity goodness with greed in his eyes.

“Big words for someone with a tiny brain,” Katsuki mutters, appearing behind the other boys.

“Down, boys!” Mina laughs, “There’s plenty to go around.” They back off enough for everyone to take a cup. She fixes Katsuki with a glare as reaches for his, “Dunno if someone as amazing as you can appreciate the work of someone with such a small brain.”

Katsuki crosses his arms. “This is my recipe.”

“Fine! My benevolent, lovely self will let your disrespect slide. Just once.” Mina turns away with a dramatic huff, and Kyouka and Denki giggle somewhere out of sight.

“Thanks,” Katsuki rolls his eyes, smiling.

“Thanks Mina!” Hanta grins. “Cheers, guys!”

“Cheers!” they call, and then Eijirou is swallowing his strawberry whole and choking, while everyone else tries their drinks. Sounds of delight and praise fill her ears as Mina laughs at Eijirou’s choking.

It isn’t so hot and stifling anymore, Mina notices as she flops onto the couch to enjoy her drink. The air, filled with chatter and happiness and home, is just right. And what do you know, Katsuki was right. Her favourite idiots are looking at her like she hung the moon.

[infinitesimal-grey]

Prince Starved

Chapter 3: Tea and Fluff

G/T collab with R and @HiddenDreamer67 as beta reader. Previous chapters in reblog

Summary: Online friends Roman (Giant) and Virgil (Human) meet for the first time when they find they've been going to the same college. They're both nervous gay wrecks.

Chapter Warnings: Scalding tea, and the last two brain cells of two clueless gays trying to communicate that they like each other while “not making it too obvious”, aka the most pure and snarky chapter yet

Word Count: 2,436 (was originally 1,489 before I edited it as apology for being late<3)

...

"Seriously. Comrade and those villains have been messing with me since I got the Beast in Beauty and the Beast freshman year." Roman scoffed. "I was the only boy who could hit the notes, and if we're being honest the only one who could walk in the huge beast costume. Most of them are part of the stage hands hired for moving the heavy set pieces on and off. Like, I get they're strong and all, but strong does not have to mean brute. The ginger in particular, Comrade Melville, is nasty." Roman sipped his hot chocolate as if it were the the tea he were spilling. "I've ignored them for the most part, but today was simply despicable. I'm not even surprised that they're racist; they had given Talyn just as much shit while they were playing Chip." He turned as the sidewalk ended.

"I was ready to shove that thorny magic rose right up their you know where." Roman gestured wildly.

Virgil snorted and smirked behind his cup. "Gaston's sword would be better." He took a long draw from his drink, feeling the cinnamon burn his taste buds. "God. It was like the idiot was trying to break my bones or somethin'." he said as evenly as he could, he had decided not to mention how absolutely horrifying it had been in the moment. Virgil had felt as though he was about to snap like a twig.

Roman curled his fingers slightly more around Virgil, getting protective at the thought. He felt queasy just thinking about it. The giant could tell the notion disturbed his best friend more than he let on. Roman’s eyes hardened as he berated himself. "I should've never left you alone. It was my mistake." Roman stared downwards at the cobblestone path leading through the park. His other hand was tight around his drink, the heat sizzling in stark contrast to the chilly morning air around them.

Virgil watched Roman's fingers carefully, keeping his body tense so he wouldn't flinch. He let out a long sigh. "You couldn't have known they'd show up while you were gone for a couple minutes at most. Besides, I was the one that wanted to stay."

"Still. They had no right to treat you like that!" Roman huffed. He brought Virgil up higher so they were at eye level. Virgil gave him the emo equivalent of puppy eyes. Roman gave his best nonverbal argument via whining before ultimately giving in. "Fi-ne." He enunciated, "No sense thinking any more about those- those miserable fucking croutons." Roman spat with utmost disdain. He chugged some of his hot chocolate, managing to make even that unrelated action look like an insult directed at aforementioned miserable croutons. Roman asked the first non Comrade question that came to mind; "So have you really never been in a nonsegregated zone before today?"

Virgl met Roman's eyes for a good half a second before he switched back to staring at the swirls of cinnamon in his drink, shrugging slightly. "Not that I remember, nah. I mean, you know me, Ro. Never really been one for big scary chances." His voice was mostly joking, although it did have a more serious tone behind it. Because despite it all, it was very intimidating to be able to fit in someone's hand while they gave little to no effort. Although, Roman was pretty good at keeping his hand relatively still. Huh.

Roman looked away as well, before hiding behind his paper cup to take fake sips.

"I suppose you're right, besides; most giants couldn't handle you." Roman externally gave a flirty smile, but internally his mind was screaming at him not to screw up tremendously. This was Virgil's first time ever meeting a giant and Roman had already failed once by leaving him alone. "You're too much of a nightmare." The giant smirked, ruffling Virgil's raven black hair playfully.

Virgil couldn't help but snort in amusement, reaching up to lightly bat at Roman's finger. "Says the king of being overdramatic!"

"King, pff, sounds like too much responsibility." Roman struck a regal pose, golden brown irises and diamond-like smile glowing in the morning sun. "I'm more like a prince~." He went full confident smolder, laying on his charm thick.

Virgil froze. Roman almost got concerned before the human burst out laughing, barely keeping himself from falling over and spilling his drink. Virgil hid his totally not flush-red face behind a hand. "Oh my lord you are so extra, Ro."

He scoffed. "As a prince should be." Roman answered proudly.

Virgil just rolled his eyes, leaning back on an arm as he drank a good few gulps of hot chocolate. "Hmm, yes, Prince of the Absolute Losers does have a nice ring to it..." he tapped his chin cheekily.

Roman scoffed goodnaturedly, throwing his now empty cup away before clutching invisible pearls. He made a few offended noises before coming up with comeback.

"Hey Steven Doomiverse~?" Roman sang, a mischievous idea creeping in. Virgil eyed him back warily. His eyes glinted and suddenly he started tickling Virgil’s side mercilessly.

"Wh--Ahk--!" Virgil dropped his cup, falling onto his side as he laughed uncontrollably, kicking the air-and Roman-as Virgil fought to get the giant to stop, barely managing to get enough time between breaths to even say any understandable words.

"Hmm what's that?" Roman leaned in with a grin. "Couldn't quite hear you." He easily held back Virgil's kicks and continued his attack.

Virgil snorted like a pig, laughing a bit more before he finally managed to get a word out. "Sto-h-hpp!"

"Pardon?" Roman asked, smug as all hell. He redoubled his efforts for a burst longer before backing off with a laugh.

"T-ih-ih-ickling m-me!" Virgil screamed in laughter.

"Moi? I'd never." Roman said in defense, a smile playing at his lips. He lifted Virgil higher so his palm was level with his eyes once again.

"Yeah right! You do all the time." Despite Virgil’s efforts to remain serioud, the playful tone to his own voice couldn't be denied, and he smirked, now not really having any option but to meet Roman's gaze. Fuck that's terrifying.

Roman's eyes lit mischievously for split second while staring into Virgil's before looking up and feigning cluelessness. "Hm no I, simply do not recall..." Virgil gave Roman a wary look.

Giant fingers snuck up behind Virgil and quickly tickling him on his side before redrawing back just as fast. "-must have been some other charming, charismatic, and obnoxiously tall prince." Roman turned back, a smug look on his face.

Virgil let out a yowl of surprise at the sudden tickling, falling onto his side and letting out a flustered, exasperated huff. "How dare you."

Roman threw his head back and laughed, entire body shaking with mirth despite his efforts. He had a grin that split his face when he looked back down. Roman froze in amazement when he found himself locking with Virgil's emerald eyes.

Roman had fallen in love with them on camera.

Video call was one thing.

In person was a world all its own.

In person he could see that even the most stunning of the world’s gemstones couldn't hold a flame to the rainforest that made up Virgil's eyes.

Virgil felt like time itself had frozen. They were still walking, but everything around them seemed distant compared to Roman's amber eyes. It was like looking into a sparkling sunset, with a vibrant orange sky that stretched for miles, and the golden clouds sparkling. It was simply awe-inspiring.

Roman paused; head ducking and pace increasing only a moment later. His heartbeat was running wild with thoughts of what he wanted to say. What he wanted to do. "Sorry," he whispered softly, barely audible to even the human's hearing. Crimson branded itself across his gold skin.

Virgil blinked out of his own daze as Roman moved his head. He'd said something, but what it was, Virgil wasn't so sure. "Huh?"

Roman shook his head, and he wore a smile when it rose. "Nothing." His eyes met Virgil's again and darkened his blush. Roman’s eyes quickly jumped up to the sky. "So..." Come on you fool your blush is so dark, come up with something!

Roman’s smile grew a bit more genuinely upbeat. "So…. How's your psych class with Dr. Picani? Heard he's the best for weebs." Roman smirked and nudged Virgil's side with a finger. If Roman really stopped to think about how maybe Virgil didn't like that, he probably stopped himself, but honestly Virgil was just so… so... adorable. Roman just couldn't resist.

Virgil jumped slightly from the push, but didn't linger on it for long. He knew Roman was just being his oblivious and loud self. Virgil didn’t want to call him out on it and make him uncomfortable. "It's alright- and hey! It's not for weebs! He's… He’s just passionate about how media explores aspects of psychology." Virgil nodded matter-of-factly.

Roman smiled, enjoying Virgil’s flustered state. "Mhm."

Roman proceeded to continue his playful jerk act and Virgil was equally as snarky; they called each other names and generally fooled about. They talked for hours and by the time they looked at a watch, it was lunch time. They were both disappointed and Virgil tentatively asked if they could just go back to Roman’s fraternity house. They walked to the parking lot around the block.

Roman transferred Virgil to one hand while he fished his keys out of his pocket. He tossed them up and down in his palm a few times, humming happily and strolling to his white and gold motorcycle.

Virgil glanced around the lot, eyes settling on the very extravagantly painted motorcycle. "Oh." Shit.

"Hm? Something wrong Virg?" Roman asked sincerely.

Virgil let out a slight chuckle, leaning back on his arm. "Nah, Just ah... forgot you drive a motorcycle."

"Ah, I could maybe call Patton for a ride if you-?" His eyebrows knitted and paused when he reached the motorcycle, already reaching for his phone questioningly.

Virgil considered it for a few moments, glancing between the motorcycle and Roman's other hand, before shaking his head. "Nah, don't bother him. I'll be fine."

"Alright," Roman regarded the motorcycle. "So how do you wanna do this? The only other time I can remember I've done this with a human is when I gave Talyn a ride to the Beauty and the Beast after party because I lost a bet that I couldn't rap guns and ships faster. They wanted a joyride and that human’s got fire."

Virgil snorted. "You know them? That dude never shuts up!" He shook his head a bit, then hummed. "Dunno, never really ridden with a giant. As long as I don't feel like I'm about to' fall, it should be great."

"Well... We have to go faster than I had with Talyn to get back to the frat, since the ride back goes on the highway, so you probably have to go somewhere more secure..." Roman said, he swung a practiced leg over the seat and cupped Virgil above his lap, "Namely, you're gonna have to ride in my pocket, pint-size." He didn’t mention that Talyn had ridden on his shoulder and he thought they were going to die every five seconds. And that was actually why he wanted Virgil somewhere more secure.

Virgil felt his heart skip a beat. That was... Wow. But he just hummed slightly before he spoke. "That works. Better not have any holes in your pocket, princey."

"Of course not, even while a broke college student I must dress like me; which means no holes. Also, if any of my human friends happened to slide into it from my shoulder and fell through a hole into my shirt? I'd never hear the end of it." Roman rolled his eyes and held the hand carrying Virgil up to his shirt pocket.

Virgil couldn't help but laugh a bit at that. "Hell yeah ya' wouldn't." As he was lifted up closer to Roman, however, he felt all the confidence he'd been building up wash away again. It took him a good few seconds to bring back enough to slip off Roman's hand and into the pocket, not prepared for the odd texture and ended up laying twisted at the bottom of the pocket, instead of leaning against the edge like he'd meant to. "Oof--"

Roman's eyebrows shot up, "Oh shit, you good?" Roman slipped his fingers in, trying to help him up without even thinking.

Virgil stiffened, not really making much effort to get up, but didn't pull away from Roman's hand at all. "Uh--"

Virgil took a few breaths, staring wide eyed at the fingers. "Uh, yeah." This is weird. Am I making it weird? Oh god just get up Virgil you're being dumb he's just being nice. He used the finger nearest him to help himself to a less twisted position.

Roman pulled his hand away and cleared his throat awkwardly, quickly putting on his helmet and turning the ignition key. The two-ton classic horsepower machine revved loudly underneath them, filling the silence. Roman looked down at Virgil, metallic gold helmet visor obscuring his entire face and sending Virgil's reflection back at him in a golden tint. "Ya can't hang out like that on the road, storm cloud," Roman blew air out of his nose in a laugh, fog lightly dusted his visor.

Virgil looked up toward Roman, but only really ended up meeting his own gaze. "But I--ahk!" Roman nudged Virgil back into the pocket lightly, pulling the pocket flap closed and buttoning it securely. The giant kicked up the kickstand and put it into gear.

Virgil fell onto his back again from Roman's push, huffing and crossing his arms. Well this is demeaning. "Don't take too long." He yelled up at the lumbering oaf.

Roman couldn't hear Virgil's complaints as they pulled out of the lot and onto the main road. Cool morning air rushed past them as he cruised on his way. Roman could feel Virgil against his chest and his face grew flushed. Definitely just from the warmth of the enclosed helmet.

The human laid on his back, the sunlight slipping around the edges of the flap and through the fabric for an admittedly calming glow. He was lost in his own thoughts when suddenly the world around him started vibrating. "What the…" He didn't move, just opening his eyes and looking about for the odd source. His mouth made a little o when he realized it was Roman humming quietly to himself. The giant listens to music more than anyone else he knew, Virgil doubted he even actually realized he was doing it. The human smiled softly.

His thoughts drifted almost exclusively towards Roman after that.

During the ride, Virgil brought his headphones back over his ears. He didn't play any music, but they muffled the sound of the engine and wind, which was helpful. He shifted slightly to get more comfortable, leaning against Roman's chest somewhat. The giant's body heat made him realize he was freezing. The wind chilled him to where Roman's chest was hot against his cheek. Virgil noticed he could hear a vibratic, rhythmic thud. Was that his heartbeat...? Wow... Virgil's mind drifted, and between the rumbling of the motorcycle's engine, rhythmic thumping of Roman's heart, and the warmth and darkness of the pocket, he eventually fell asleep.

...

A/N

So sorry it took so long to get up, and I hope you enjoyed this peace because the next chapter is fun. ;)

Asks, reblogs, and comments are welcome!♡

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Don’t Tread on Me

I’m no stranger to foreign cinema. I just wrote a whole as thing about an anime and dropped a Select on Godzilla films. While i am a weeb, i actually love French media just as much. I really don’t talk about that, though. It’ weird because they create excellent sh*t. Raw was a gloriously brilliant take on sibling love and i adore Amelie. One of my favorite bands is Yelle. F*cking Daft Punk has been a staple in world since Discovery dropped way back when. Wakufu, Moebius, and Metal Hurlant or Heavy Metal for the Americans in the room, are consummate favorites. Luc Besson has been a prominent figure in my adoration for cinema going all the way back to Leon and his Valerian inspired, The Fifth Element, is on my all-time list. The French make dope sh*t so when i heard Portrait of a Lady on Fire was getting aggressively brilliant reviews, i was all in. The thing is, though, i live in the armpit of California and there was no way this movie was going to make it here. I had to wait. And wait. And wait. But then it dropped on the Hulus! I noticed it was on here after checking out Palm Springs, they’re both Neon films, so i definitely had to partake. Spoiler alert; I F*cking loved this dope French sh*t, too.

The Best

The two leads, Adele Haenel and Noemie Merlant as Heloise and Mariannne, respectively, are amazing. Their performances make this movie. their chemistry fuels the vigor captured onscreen. Their casting was perfect. I was a little taken aback by how incredible these women can act, not in the sense of they’re less than a man or whatever, but more they got literally everything out of that script. They wring it dry and gave us one of the best films i have ever seen, in any language. Absolutely breathtaking.

In order to get these performances out of her actors, Celine Sciamma had to come with equal heat with her direction and she absolutely does. The way this film is constructed is truly inspired. The choices she made, from shot composition to the lack of an instrumental score, made each scene that much more potent. This film is a work of art and Celine Sciamma guided it with deliberate, intentional, passionate, strokes.

The Better

The use of light and shadow in this movie is incredible. It has the effect of surrounding this flick with a warm, detached, ambiance. It feels very homey, very earnest. It’s weird to say, mostly because i don’t normally feel the technical aspects of cinema are worth mentioning, but the lighting of this movie is just that good.

There is a quiet despair that runs through the length of this film. It’s rather raw but subtle in the same breath. It feels mundane at time but the overall tone is very consistent. This movie knows the story it wants to tell and does so exactly the way it wants to.

I love how this movie is shot. There are a lot of handhelds and everything is pushed in tight. The actors have no place to hide, they have to be great in order to pull off this type of shoot. They are, mind you, it’s just quietly intense how intrusive the camera work is in this thing.

This film is gorgeous. I’m not a massive fan of period pieces, but I've learned to appreciate their unique beauty over time. I kind of feel like it’s  cheat genre for the Oscars, like the biopic or musical, but this one deserves every accolade thrown it’s way. I am awestruck by the gentle elegance displayed in every shot. From the costumes, to the location, to the cinematography; All of it is just so goddamn sublime.

This script has to be incredible because i was hanging on every word spoken throughout the entirety of this film’s run time It had to be on point since we spend so much time i with the two leads. Nothing ever feels forced, Nothing ever feels manufactured. Everything said feels incredibly organic and genuine. It’s more than just a performance, these people became these characters and it’s it’s amazing to witness.

The Meh

The pacing in this movie is very methodical. It takes it’s time telling it’s story. I’m fine with that but I've noticed that most people are not. They need action and explosions and effects. This film is not that. It’s the character study of two women exploring themselves, through themselves, knowing how futile and doomed that relationship is. One could make the argument this is a tragedy, and it is, but it’s not cruel. It’s just very, very, sad. I think, in order to properly tell that story, you need this pace in order to see everything. In order to lay bare this script, you need to spend as much time with it as possible and, i think, this movie does just that.

Portrait is a French language film. That means there are subtitles. You’re going to have to read if you want to partake in this glory. Personally, that’s not a problem for me. This film had me the second Marianne hot the ocean. Other people, though, night have a harder time getting into this thing. I implore you, don’t let a few words stop you from experiencing this movie. It’s absolutely worth you engaging in every way possible.

The Verdict

I love this film. It’s absolutely brilliant, in every way imaginable. There are certain things that, i think, ill turn of the common American moviegoer, the length, the acing, the language, but those things are easily ignored if you actually allow yourself to engage with this movie. All of those gripes that would hold it back, become real strengths and it’s properly magical to witness. Adele Haenel and Noemie Merlant turn in some of the best performances i have seen in years, at the behest of Celine Sciamma’s ardent direction. The story, itself, is incredibly bittersweet. It’s a little trite but the way it’s told come across as very personal, very solemn; Something that is rarely captured in the overproduced, effects driven, Hollywood fare you see every year. This film is sort of a palate cleanser for all of the vapid trash i consume during summer but it really is so much more than that. There is a love and reverence in this film. This is someone’s passion project, someone’s baby. You feel that.

Portrait of a Lady on Fire is a modern classic and you’d be doing yourself a disservice not to give it at least one screening, especially if you consider yourself a lover of film.

[kawaiibeela]

2017 in review... i guess?

so i guess im gonna do this lol... its not really a review of my year but i will talk about a few major personal things over the past few months that happened to me, LONG LONG LONGGGGG POST UNDER THE CUT

a lot of people complained about 2017 being a shitty year, a continuation for 2016..... and i thought it would be too.... and thats how it started.... i was stuck in a crappy job for 6 years.... i wanted to leave so badly but i was also scared.... scared that what if i couldn’t find anything else? scared in my skills as a graphic designer.... i hated all my work and everything i produced from that job, i got comfortable at this job.... i could come and go as i pleased, i could take any day off i wanted.... but they were toxic people, they judged me very hard for liking the things i did, they were very negative about everything, they forced stuff on me that wasn’t part of my job, they made me feel very awkward, they would make “comments” about my religion when it didn’t fit their needs...it was very uncomfortable at times.... i would just lie to myself and to other people when asked “how’s work going?” i would say “not bad, its pretty good, i’m doing some fun events” but i was slowly drowning inside.... my parents and close friends would always tell me “you need to quit!!! just quit!!! find something better!! you’re better than this place” but i never believed it..... i never believed them..... when i should have been listening to them....

i started to tell myself, this is enough.... i cant deal with this place any more.... i started to work on my portfolio website.... but i hated it..... i hated everything about it..... everything in there just reminded me of my old shitty job that i hated... all this effort put into something that i hated... because i was forced to do what the clients wanted, it was frustrating!!

a few years ago, i went to this graphic design conference that was meant to help people find jobs, i went to a portfolio review and all 3 reviewers told me the same thing, the work i put in seem forced and not my style, they said to add stuff i was passionate about and stuff that i enjoyed and my work would speak for itself, every person that i showed my arashi posters too, said it was my strongest piece.... i should use that piece for sure!!

that helped me get a sense of what i wanted!! i deleted everything from my old portfolio site, except my logo which i actually still love, i kept 1 project from my old job which was the biggest and most challenging one i worked on to show that i have real life experience.

i decided to develop my arashi project into a full campaign, i added more pieces, i designed more stuff, for the fun of it.... every weekend for a while in the spring and summer, my friends and i were meeting up at cafes to help focus on stuff, i got a lottttt done there!!! i wanted to focus on stuff that was important to me, fandoms!! duh!! arashi of course, kiramune which had recently at the time become my new loves, and oldcodex!!! i decided to try and make designs based on them for fun!! i took kirafes 2017′s design and I remade it for myself, i imagined how i wanted the goods to look, i imagined how i wanted the posters to look, the pamphlet, and it took forever, but it was fun, it was frustrating but it was rewarding to come up with something i was proud of!! something i was happy about!! something that when i talked about it, i could explain what i wanted to and why i did certain things. 

for the oldcodex stuff, i made an editorial piece, i wanted to reflect their personalities so i just kept trying different things until i was happy!! in the end it came out really great and i was able to do that piece pretty fast as well too!!

i also kept in my portfolio parts of a magazine that i had worked on.... but i wasnt happy with a lot of parts of that magazine too... so i made my own pages to “add in” about the olympics and they came out really nice!!

i was confident in my portfolio for once.... it took months and months of work.... but i was happy about it... i was proud of it.... i was excited about it.... but...... i was scared..... scared i wasnt ready for the next step.... what if i put all this effort into it and im still not good enough? how will i feel then? i also hate going to interviews because of my anxiety as well too....

but finally around the beginning of September, i was actually able to 100% complete my portfolio, my business cards and resumes were also complete...

and i was scrolling down on facebook... and one of my old friends posted something..... we were really close during college, we took graphic design together but as the semesters went on, we drifted apart as well too... it had been probably like 4-5 years since i’d ever talked to her even.... but she posted “looking for a junior graphic designer for a 3 month contract” and i kinda looked at that for a while... i messaged one of my friends about it and said “hmmmm...... my friend just posted this.... what should i do?” and she told me “just message your friend and apply!!! just do it” she gave me that push because she knew how much i hated my current job too!! 

so i messaged my friend and asked her if she could submit my resume to HR.... and she did.... that was on friday.... i was scared.... and nervous.....but then... on a tuesday after work..... my phone rang and i got a call from the company..... its a photography company here in Toronto that has locations across Canada. they wanted me in for an interview.... a what??? wait what??? an interview???? they said they looked at my portfolio and were interested....... ehhhhh??? i was in shock..... but i was so happy too!! but scared..... the last interview i went on was like 2-3 years ago and it went pretty bad......... so i had no idea how this one would go..... the HR person was really nice though... she had told me that i would be interviewed by herself, the marketing manager and the art director.... i was scared as hell..... she gave me their names so i looked them up.... the art director........ he was so good..... his website was so nice!!! i started to lose confidence again but, its funny.... he was japanese.... i thought “oh crap, what if he tries to read parts of my portfolio?” i had used japanese interviews in my kiramune project but i couldnt find stuff for each member so i just copied and pasted, i thought “hes gonna know im just making stuff up” LOL I just kept thinking of useless thoughts in my head..... but i thought.... whatever.... im just gonna do it...... my interview was on thursday, i had called my old job and told them i couldnt work that day and they said it was fine because it was a really slow time... i obviously didnt tell them i was going for a job interview.... but i went anyways, i got there really early so i just sat somewhere and went over stuff i had planned for my interview, i had written stuff down in my journal and was gonna use that as a guideline for when they asked me questions, they asked some things similar to what i had planned but they asked some different stuff too... they were so nice.... throughout the interview they had kept complimenting my stuff, they said everything flowed very nicely and they really liked me work, they had asked me how i got interested in design and i answered the most face palming thing.... i mentioned anime... and i said i used to watch anime and pokemon as a kid and i dreamt of being an animator in japan and then i was like “oh no.... i didnt just tell them im a weeb did it?” and i was like “oh god, my life is over” haha i felt really embarassed ahaha oops LOL but then they were also really impressed by that answer too.... they asked if i had any retail experience and i told them i had experience working at this amusement park after high school too and it helped me deal with customers and stuff too... this was a job i had from like 10 years ago or something, it wasnt even on my resume any more, is just one of those jobs u get to make money.... like..... i thought nothing of it..... but they were SO EXCITED about it when i told them, they were like “wow!!! thats so great!!” they seemed so intrigued in everything i said!! the HR person was like “you seem very energetic!!” and i was like really happy!! no one really compliments me or my work usually haha XD 

towards the end of the interview, they asked if i had any questions for them and i asked them 2 questions and they seemed really impressed too!! haha they were like “those are great questions” haha 

at the end of the interview, i asked for their business cards so i could email them and thank them for taking time to interview me. they thanked me and the HR person said she’d be in touch the next few days

after the interview, i messaged my friend who had helped send in my resume and she said “just between you and me, they came upstairs and i think they really like you” omggg i felt sooo happy haha

on the way home, i remember getting really lost LOL it took me almost like 3 hours to get home i think XD i ended up finding a small japanese store that i bought a bunch of stuff from ahaha

so... i waited the weekend..... it was monday.... and i didnt hear from them.... tuesday went by and i didnt hear anything, i thought i must not have gotten the job, but then wednesday again, i got an email from the HR person, asking if i could email her 2-3 references... which i had none... so i asked 2 of my old coworkers from different jobs and they replied right away too because they also knew i hated my current job ahah so i sent my references and then on thursday while i was at work... i got a call from the HR person saying “i called both of your refernces and they both said wonderful things about you so we would like to offer you the 3 month contract position” like OMGGGG i almost screamed of joy!!! i was jumping up and down outside the office haha XD 

i told this job that i would need 1 week to give my old job a heads up tho, so i could start on the following wednesday

but then i got scared again, i had to tell my current job i was quitting... i mustered up the courage and just told my one boss first, she was so happy for me, she gave me a hug and she wished me all the best too!! but then i had to tell the owner of the company and his wife, theyre both assholes so i didnt wanna tell them, but my 1 coworker helped me figure out how to tell them.... so i told them and they were unhappy but i told them id help for 1 last event (until the end of october) they appreciated that at least 

so that following tuesday was my last day being in office at that crappy job i hated!!! i literally left there SKIPPING with a HUGGGEEE grin on my face!! i would never have to go back to that horrible place again!!! omg i was soooo happy!!!!

im getting tired of writing all this now LOL so im gonna fast forward a bit, but the new job was amazing, people there loved me and they were so appreciative of me, it was a huge 360 turn!! 

i was working at this new place but then in the evenings id help at my old job by working from home, that was horrible, i couldnt deal.... after that last job at my old work was done, i told them i couldnt help out any more and theyd have to find a new designer.... after 6 years of working there.... 6 FRIKKEN YEARS!!!!!! i told them i was probably going to have my contract extended and i told her i was so excited and she messaged back saying “thats not good for us but anyway congrats” like WTF BITCH!!! I HELPED YOU OUT SO MUCH!! I WAS SO NICE TO YOU!!! GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE!!! I CANT EVEN WITH YOU!! LIKE OMG!!! i told her id send her files that i worked on and she replied 2 days later that she’ll download them later my last message to her was just “k” i was SO FUCKING DONE!!!! I HATE HER SO MUCH!!!

ANYYYYYYYWAYYYSSSSSSS...... fast forward another few weeks?months? my manager told me that she was able to get me to job full time..... FULL FUCKING TIME........ this was my first EVER full time job that related to my career, the old crappy one was never full time.... this is the first one ive had thats full time and ill get benefits and vacation and everything!! like OH. MY. GOD. i left work SOOOOOO happy!!! i actually CRIEDDDDD tears of joy!!! i couldnt believe it!!! i cant believe it!!! like omg!!! they all congratulated me!!! they were so proud of me!!! i was proud of me!!! i told my parents and i think for the first time in mine and their life, THEY were proud of me!!!! like it was amazinnnnggg!!! its still amazing!!!! we had a work lunch party and my manager was like “id like to take this time to officially tell you all that Nabeela is now full time with us” and they all raised their glasses and cheered to that too!!! like OMGGGG I WAS SO HAPPY!! (also hella embarassed since im still awkward af!!) but SO SO HAPPY!!!!

HONESTLY GUYS...... i am 30 years old now..... 30........ its NEVER too late..... nothing in life is set in stone..... no matter how 1 person does things, doesnt mean you have to be like them too....you can always do things at your own pace!!! sometimes things dont go as you imagine them but things WILL AND DO get better!!! things will be alright in the end!!! thats how i ended my 2017 and started my life as a 30 year old obaa-chan XD 

theres a lot of goals and things id like to work on for 2018 but i hope 2018 will even better for me and all my friends, family and followers!!!

if any of you actually got through all of this, then im so sorry and also thank you so much for reading LOL to all my friends who supported me through this hard moment in my life, thank you very much!! 

if any of you are curious about my portfolio, you can check it out at www.nabeelahamid.com ^__________^ thankssss!!! if any of you guys are designers too, tips or positive criticism is always welcome too!!

to all of my friends and followers who are already in 2018, HAPPY NEW YEAR AND I WISH NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR ALL OF YOU!!!!! and to those still in 2017 like me, lets bring in the new years together!!!

[opisliterallysatan]

Weeaboo, its connotations, and its meaning in modern society.

Weeaboo

A non Japanese person who basically denounces their own culture and calls themselves Japanese. They try to learn Japanese through the anime they watch and usually end up pronouncing it wrong and looking like a complete idiot. KEEP IN MIND: that a non-Japanese person can like the culture, watch anime, speak the language and RESPECT THE CULTURE, while still keeping in touch with their own. Which keeps them from being a Weeaboo, Japanophile, ect.

Weeaboo’s basically disrespect the culture and make complete asses of themselves

( Taken from Urban Dictionary )

Fair warning, under the cut contains the worst possible thing that you can find on tumblr: An opinion.

As a person who enjoys Japanese stuff, I’ve gotten a lot of crap and been called a weeaboo several times, and I’ve even taken to calling myself a weeaboo for gits and shiggles. By it’s proper definition, I am not actually a weeaboo.

Sure, I enjoy shit like anime and video games, but I also have interests in the history, the modern culture, and the biggest one for me: The architecture. ( I am a huge architecture nerd. ) But I am also aware that Japan is not some perfect utopia. I am at least as relatively aware ( as someone like me can be ) about the serious flaws in modern Japanese society. I do not personally disregard my own culture, although I haven’t grown up with much culture to begin with. But I’ll go over that later.

In today’s society, the term weeaboo is thrown around left and right in a frustratingly insulting manner. If you take any amount of interest in anything Japanese you’re called a weeaboo and disregarded entirely. It’s generally nerdy elitists who believe their nerdy interests are superior to yours.

I gotta say it’s really frustrating and upsetting to see this kind of shit. Nobody likes being put down for their personal interests, and nobody deserves to be put down for what they enjoy when it isn’t harming anyone. It’s particularly bad on Balmung sometimes and doing this sort of thing is nothing short of bullying.

I have had experiences where I have had to leave discord channels because I have people gathering around and talking about how much they hate weeaboos and how they’re going to do things like “Buy as many houses in the new housing district to screw over all the weeaboos.” and shit like that. It’s down right upsetting to be around people like that. I understand that I am most likely not going to change the minds of people like that. They’re the type of people who think it’s edgy and cool to define themselves by what they hate and how they hurt people.

To be perfectly honest, part of this is to express my personal frustration, and to try to explain how this mass interest in Japanese culture among non-Japanese people became such a thing. I’ve expressed my frustration, so I’ll move on to the latter.

Personally, I can only speak for white Americans. ( I have known several POC weebs before, but as a white person: I cannot speak for them. ) I grew up with the most standard white American nuclear family. Living in primarily white suburbs, around nothing but white people. For most of us, the extent of our culture is knowing what country our ancestors came from and the fact that we’re white. That’s it. We don’t engage in any particular traditions and we don’t celebrate anything aside from the mainstream commercial holidays.

For my generation at least, we grew up with stuff like Nintendo and Toonami. We played the video games that our parents bought us, and we watched the shows on Toonami because that was what was on Cartoon Network in the evening.

So we have these two Japanese things that are very important to us at our most impressionable age. We’ll watch anything from Hamtaro to Cowboy Beebop and end up falling in love with these things.

We understand that our main forms of entertainment come from Japan, so naturally the next step is to take an interest in Japan itself. Us white Americans who have lived with no real culture for almost our entire lives come across a country that is so rich in culture and tradition, that it’s only natural for us to imprint on it. And that’s where a weeaboo comes from.

I was a full blown proper weeaboo once when I was a really young teenager. I did the naruto run, I added broken Japanese to my English sentences, I tried to learn how to use fucking chopsticks to eat chicken nuggets with them. I eventually calmed down and stop doing that shit and became something similar to what I am now.

My disgusting obsession became a simple interest and nothing more. Despite this, I was given so much shit just for liking anything Japanese. So much shit that I eventually turned around to hate Japan and everything about it. All because people were harassing and bullying me for a simple and harmless interest during such a vulnerable age in my life.

Eventually I calmed down from that as well, and years later I managed to pick up an interest in Japanese things again. ( Thank you Persona 4 ) And now I find myself in this exact same situation all over again. People acting like assholes over my personal interest. Though nowadays I have much more disregard for people like that, and also I’m a stubborn piece of shit.

As I stated towards the beginning of this post: I have an interest in Japanese things, but I am no longer the kind of person I was when I was a young teenager. My interest is hurting nobody, yet people derive so much pleasure from putting people like me down.

At this point I’m just going to go in circles, so I’ll stop here.

TLDR: Just because somebody likes Japanese things, doesn’t mean they’re the definition of a weeaboo. If they’re not hurting anyone, don’t be a jerkass to people for their personal interests.