#he is very capable of sass

[sordidmusings]

Cuddling Headcanons - Straw Hats and the Three Unwise Men

A/N: Just mulling over something sweet and something to reference back to for my own use in future writings. I just wanna give all of them some love tbh I am a slut for affection

Includes! Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Luffy, Usopp, Mihawk, Buggy, and Shanks

Warnings: gn!reader, all fluff, opla leaning for the most part but I think it can fit both pretty well, an innuendo or two

Part 2 (drabbles for each character) here!

Enjoy some guided daydreams!

Zoro

Partial touches during naps were how he started interacting with your personal space but your lap no longer belongs to you it is now his pillow 

Honestly, basically any of you is a pillow whenever he decides - I don't care if you are significantly shorter than him he will find a way to fall asleep on your shoulder 

For more contact, you need to be the one to cling to him but he does absolutely need to be touching you at least a bit 

Once he gets used to it he’ll give you a look any time you’re depriving him of his daily intake of physical affection (the sass king will always get his tribute)

He absolutely melts like a cat in the sun if you massage at any of his muscles, could be anything as much as an evening dedicated to working out every knot he has or as simple as putting intentional pressure behind your thumb as it circles and drags along his skin

He can get nervous about kissing you when it’s not on the lips - something about it feels more vulnerable to him somehow - so if he does venture to kiss your cheek or head or shoulder or hand please reassure him with a smile or your own kisses or a firm squeeze

He gets better about being seen hugging/holding you eventually, but will never get comfortable with giving more than pecks on the cheek or forehead around the others. Maaaaaaybe the corner of your lips if he’s feeling ~spicy~

Sanji

Back hugs, back hugs, back hugs-

He’s always making sure that the two of you brush hands or arms when near each other, even after you two establish a relationship it will always give him tingles 

Likes to be very intertwined when you cuddle - if he can somehow wrap around you more then he absolutely will

He is The Best at tracing shapes gently on your skin, just like with brushing hands he never tires of it because, wow, he gets to touch you! He still can’t believe it sometimes

Very good at making you feel cherished when he holds you because of the way he always seems to take his time and ease into it and constantly caress you not to say that there’s never a time he’s hurried and ravenous 

It also helps that he’s always whispering sweet nothings to you about how wonderful you are, how beautiful and precious and lovely and kind and capable and special

When he wants to trap you while cuddling, he wraps his legs around you and uses their absurd strength for evil

He will melt if you ever do the same to him and he will happily be at your whims to cuddle until you've decided it's enough, all of you could be under attack but he is staying right where you want until you decide that he needs to move

Loooooves showering you with sweet little kisses anytime you're cuddling

He can sometimes get carried away with pda because he forgets that there’s anyone else around whoops

Nami

She has her legs on your lap always - sometimes while she's laying/leaning back, sometimes with one leg hooked over one of yours, sometimes basically sitting on your lap

She likes to be the one that is held and feels most comfortable with her face snuggled into something (please nurture her and that scared, lonely inner child)

Enjoys brushing the tip of her nose across you, especially across your cheek or neck or the tip of your own nose

She likes to hook your arms together whether you’re standing next to each other during a convo or you’re walking or she’s sitting next to you, she just loves the casual contact and how she can use it to be playful and pull you around or use it to stay close and let others know that both of you are taken do not even think about it keep moving along dude

She’s very weak to hugs where you pick her up a few inches off the ground for a second, they send her heart racing (bonus points if you’re noticeably taller or shorter than her and do this)

She’s also weak for words of affirmation, especially when you speak them to her while you hold each other in the quiet hours of night 

For some reason literally being on your lap around others is fine but if you give her a kiss to the temple while that's happening? Suddenly it's Too Much, both in how sweet it is and also because she’s being perceived while it's happening

Luffy

Any/all contact is being had whenever he’s with you

If he’s on the floor next to you then your calf is now his teddy bear, if you’re on the floor near him he’ll snatched your torso with his legs, if you’re sat near him he’s wrapping both arms around one of yours to snuggle it

One of his favorites is leaning your backs against each other, he feels really supported and the way you occasionally lean and twist your head back to nuzzle his or give him a quick kiss makes him smile with the utmost joy

He will carry and move you around in the strangest ways - fireman carry, one arm around your waist while you’re upside down, your knees hooked over his shoulders while the rest of you hangs down, you trying to koala to his side, one time you were curled completely around his waist like a pool floaty - no one understands why you two can’t be normal

Likes to be the one to hold you so he can fidget when he needs without feeling like he has to unlatch you first, this is especially when you two are laid down and/or going to be cuddling together for awhile

PDA doesn’t bother him at all, he doesn’t give a fuck if anyone sees you snuggled up together, doesn’t even occur to him that he should care 

His playfulness will come out often with dramatic “mwah!” kisses, nipping at you, blowing raspberries on your skin, and the occasional tickling

Usopp

It’s necessary for him to have his arms wrapped around you some way 

Likes to be the big spoon to feel like he’s acting as armor and protecting you, it just hits the right place in his brain that has him feeling Big and Strong in the best way

He loves when you plant a kiss on his chest, especially if you aim one directly over his heart (that is totally at a normal rate plz don’t check)

He likes to play with your hair and/or massage your neck and scalp

Big into making sure wherever the two of you are cuddling is comfy, has many extra blankets and a selection of pillows by size and firmness

Always down to cuddle but feels more comfortable if you initiate first, especially when it’s a new thing between the two of you 

He simultaneously loves pda and is nervous about pda but that nervousness is absolutely gone when he’s drunk or even pretty buzzed

Good at incorporating his head into hugs - hooking his jaw on your shoulder or on top of your head, leaning his temple gently into the side of your head, bumping you softly with his forehead 

Need background noise while you go to sleep? He’s more than happy to hold you and turn on storyteller mode. Honestly, it’s one of his favorite things to do and he cherishes that time together

When it’s bedtime stories he’s telling, his voice is so low and soothing

Mihawk

This man needs to have his hands holding something on you (your hand, your shoulder, your waist, your thigh, your back, your ass lol), 

He likes to feel wrapped around you like hes hoarding you to himself, this leads to him enjoying you laying on his chest, having all of your weight on him has him feel like he’s fully possessing you

Will definitely kiss the top of your head/your temple/your forehead/basically whatever his lips are near, not a consistent bout of them, more one deliberate peck when the need strikes him (it’s also his customary goodnight to you)

Like the other swordsman, he will give you a look if you miss a habitual touch (especially if it’s the way you usually ran a hand through his hair with a kiss to the forehead before you left the castle, that was non-negotiable it had to happen), his stare however is more the 1000 yard variety and those bright yellow eyes will bore a hole through you until you understand what you did wrong

Something about this man makes me feel his temp runs hot but not in a way that bothers him, like he doesn’t feel hot or overheated but when you touch him the difference between you two is noticeable

It’s a damn good thing that he reciprocates your physical affection, even if 70% it’s just an arm coming around you, because his stony expression makes it easy to assume that your touches are unwanted 

This type of limited response is mostly for more casual cuddling like hugs or sitting next to each other because when you’re laying together his face is always soft and he’s much greedier to be pressing into you

Okay with some pda like quick and passing touches including kisses, but not a fan of anything more intimate when others can see

Buggy

The Chairrrrrr, as you’ve told him it’s circUS so both of you need to be on the throne (If he’s wanting to look extra powerful or intimidating you have no problem sitting at his feet and holding him like a heroine on a 70s fantasy novel)

He’s a big fan of any possessive gestures - arm around shoulders, back hugs, pulling you to wrap your arms around him, having you sit in his lap

He’s a cuddle switch for sure because sometimes he needs to hold you to remind himself that you’re his and sometimes he needs to feel held

Very fragile for gentle affection - please draw shapes on this man’s back, play with his hair and massage his scalp, give him head kisses, hand kisses, wrist kisses 

Feels like his heart will explode if you nuzzle your face into him whether its into his chest or the side of his head or good lord his pALM (He may have literally fallen apart the first time you did that and if you’re ever in the mood for some Entertainment bring it up) 

He is actually made for cuddling because if his arm is uncomfortable to lay on or starting to fall asleep? He can detach it and now it’s your stuffed animal. This can extend to literally any part of him that either of you feels is getting in the way of the perfect cuddle 

Need to feel needed? The way he’ll pull you into him and hold you like you’re going to disappear will let you know he needs you

Absolutely LIVES for pda, he gets to show you off to everyone and have your gorgeous self make him shine brighter in the spotlight? Nothing could be better

Shanks

Sharing his space often means one of you sitting between the others legs, whether one is on the floor in front of the other’s seat or y’all are laying down together with one settled further down the bed, this often leads to you laying your head on the hip or stomach or upper thigh of the other 

He mostly likes to be on his back or stomach and pretty splayed out, so you’ve adjusted yourself to gripping to him after he’s taken over the bed

It always makes him soft to think about you always choosing to cling to him without him having to hold you there, it really drives home that he’s something you actively want

Will grope you, sometimes sexually, but he also just likes the feeling of grabbing you, it’s somewhat of a manifestation of cute aggression 

He’s a sucker for getting his neck/shoulders/upper back rubbed while cuddling (which is a pain if he’s decided to be on his back) and he is not above bargaining for it or prodding you like an indignant pet each time you stop (very good puppy eyes), this is one of his favorite perks of having you in his lap

He’s another one to not care about being seen by others but not because it hasn’t occurred to him (like Luffy) but because anyone judging him is WAY less important than getting more affection from you 

His heart gets really tender when you lay with him and massage the stump of his arm and the shoulder above it because it helps with the phantom pains when he has them, it also help with the tension from using the muscles on that side to compensate, and it reminds him how the only thing about his arm that bothers you is that it hurts him

[moronkombat]

HELLO.

I was just wondering if you could do some hcs of what the mk1 men's ideal types would be.

Reiko is interested in a partner who is strong and capable. Someone who can handle themselves and continue to grow in personal and physical strength

He wants someone who knows their way around the battlefield and loyal to their personal goals

Kenshi is attracted to his partner's wit and intelligence. He wants someone who he can have long and deep conversations with

Prefers someone who can be playful but not overly so. He needs a calming influence but not one so compliant. He is a man who carries a lot of weight so someone to take that weigh off with small jokes can make a big difference for him

Syzoth is drawn towards someone who is patient, calm and understanding. Someone who can not just hear him but truly listen to him

He a man full of emotion so someone who tends to have a calmer demeanor helps soothe him when he becomes anxious. Of course, he also loves a partner who enjoys frequent physical contact

Prefers someone wild and brazen. Someone who cannot be completely contained even though he so desperately wants to

Enjoys a partner that seeks thrills and chills. Don't worry though, he will mold his partner into the perfect chaos if they seem restrained

Rain needs someone who acknowledges his ambitions and desires. A partner that encourages him and supports his efforts goes a long way for him

Though he does find himself seeking competition so, naturally, he seeks out a partner who can handle and enjoy these rivalries

Shang Tsung is drawn to people who interest him. Someone that catches his eye because of their abilities, wit and/or appearance

Prefers a partner who can be clever but also softer than the average person. He will enjoy matching their wit while also taking comfort in their kindness

Quan Chi appreciates loyalty and acknowledgment. He wants a partner to stay by his side while also seeing all the wonders he can do

Prefers someone who can handle themselves and not completely rely on him. Not to say he isn't a comforting partner, he is, but he values mental fortitude as well

Tomas prefers someone he can have fun with. He wants to go out with his partner, take them places and have adventures with him

His partner needn't be shy nor outgoing, just someone who is open to his ideas and plans. Over everything, he needs someone who is unconditionally supportive but not blindly so

Raiden enjoys a partner who values kindness and the treatment of others. He himself a very caring individual so he is drawn to those who show similar characteristics

Also enjoys someone with a sense of humor. Raiden wants to laugh with his partner, truly and loudly laugh to the silly things they talk about

Kung Lao really likes when his partner can match his sass and swagger. He likes the little playful rivalry that he and his partner create

While he has fun with his partner's attitude, he does need a partner that knows when to humble him

Bi-Han has an intense temper so a partner who is calm, collected and sweet really helps level him out. Someone who is kind yet witty to bring him down from those raging highs

He needs a partner who completes him and compliments him. Too be too brash around him will frustrate him and isolate him. A partner to love him completely and truly, to hold him and tell him it will be alright, means the world to him

Johnny craves someone who loves to live life and live it fast. He is exceptionally extraverted and wants to go out and see the world with his partner

Someone who believes in his ambitions is a big deal for him. Johnny may appear exceptionally confident but he is deeply insecure. He needs a partner that can recognize that and provide him comfort

General Shao prefers a partner who is smaller than he is. He wants to impress his partner and show them his prowess

It is not that he wants someone weak, Shao enjoys a partner that welcomes him when he returns from battle with excitement and pride. He wants to scoop his partner up and parade them on his shoulder as he marches through the city

Geras is a simple man but incredibly busy and needs a partner who understands this. There will be much time spent apart from each other so he requires a partner with great patience

He prefers someone who is level-headed and logical, someone who can analyze a situation with him and offer a new perspective

Liu Kang fancies someone who can be witty and playful just as he is. A partner who can make him smile and laugh will capture his heart quickly

He does not have preferences in terms of their physical strength but their mental fortitude. Not to say he will not comfort his partner, he will, but Liu Kang needs that comfort too.

Kaui Liang has no preference for appearances. His desire in a partner is all related to who they are. He prefers a partner who shows kindness and restraint in moments of frustrations

Additionally, he wants a partner who is family oriented. Family is huge for him and so he seeks out a partner who also values the concept of family and loyalty to them

Baraka needs a partner who is understanding of his worries and someone willing to listen to him. He's lost everything and someone to validate that will help soothe him

He is touch starved, desperately so. Baraka would love a partner who can touch him softly, unafraid of his deformed skin and bones

[bambi-slxt]

sick!chris:

✨a concept✨

he literally thinks he's on the verge of death.

"i can see...the light..."

"you have a cold."

"the angels are singing so sweetly..."

"do you want this soup or not?"

"gimme."

he never wants you to be outside of his six-foot radius.

cuddles like a motherfucker.

"you're gonna get me sick too, don't breathe on me."

"i will open-mouth cough on you if that means you'll stay the night."

"for someone so ill, you seem to have full grasp of your sarcastic capabilities."

"i'm not being sarcastic." hacks up a lung in your face

for all his sass and snark, he's very loving, more so than usual due to his lowered energy levels.

"i'm home baby how are-"

"i wrote you a love letter!"

"that's so cute honey, i-"

"also did you know you're the prettiest thing i've ever seen in my entire life? like you look like art from like a museum or something, like those fancy paintings or sculptures of the goddesses from ancient times."

"...i don't know if i'm crying because i'm sick too or because that was so sweet but regardless let's go watch Bluey in bed yeah?"

bounces off the walls with glee

"you're supposed to be bedridden you little-"

[cordeliawhohung]

Headache

mafia!Gaz x fem!Reader | no major warnings: minor descriptions of wounds and blood, both you and gaz have a lot of sass |

mafia!141 consider this a part 2 to Siren

maybe one day you'll learn how to keep your mouth shut

Things were never quite silent in Kyle’s apartment, but they weren’t exactly loud, either. Well, apartment was a bit of a misleading term considering he had an entire penthouse in one of the most expensive buildings in the city all to himself. Still, it didn’t change the fact that he always kept quiet music playing through the speakers in the living room or turned on a white noise machine in order to sleep. Kyle had never had a quiet life as a kid, and finding himself as an adult surrounded by nothing but silence was more than enough to drive him mad. 

However, the only thing more irritating than silence was the grating sound of someone trying to buzz up into his apartment. It was as if they took the world’s most annoying sound and turned it into a doorbell, and it was so blaring he could hear it all the way from the bathroom in which he attempted to shower. He had just finished his workout and he wanted to wash the sweat and stink off of himself, but it didn’t seem like he would get the opportunity. Whoever it was trying to get in was certainly adamant, because the buzzer sounded at least four different times before he was able to reach the door. 

“Hello?” Kyle greeted as he jammed his finger against the intercom button. If this was Soap, he was going to be pissed. 

“Mr. Garrick.” 

It was your voice, he was sure of it. Even through the crackling speaker of the intercom and your heavy panting it was easy to make out that confident snark that exuded from every word you spoke. The way you soaked his name in it had him huffing in annoyance already. 

“How did you find me?” he questioned as he rubbed his face with his free hand. 

“Let me in and I’ll tell you,” you teased.

“Not happening,” he retorted. 

Your groan came through all too clearly on the intercom and Kyle had an easy time imagining the way you most likely rolled your eyes. So far, his only interaction with you had been that night a few weeks ago when he failed to get that USB off of that politician in the strip club. After all that blew over, he had a hard time getting you out of his mind. You knew about his mother, and more importantly that he was her bastard child, and that knowledge seemed to haunt his thoughts night and day. You appearing on his doorstep didn’t help to quell his worries, either. 

“Come on, Garrick,” you urged. “I just need a place to crash for the night, I’ll be out of your hair by morning. You wouldn’t leave a girl out on the streets all by herself, would you?” 

“Do you not have your own friends you could bother with this?” Kyle asked. 

“Awe, are we not friends?” you patronized. “Besides, none of them live in what I can only assume is Fort fucking Knox with this security system.” Your voice paused, and something in your tone changed when you next spoke. “I’ll be gone by morning. Promise.” 

And he wanted to say no. To turn you away and leave you to your own devices. You were plenty capable of taking care of yourself, you had proved as much all those nights ago when you stole the data from under his nose. But there was something pleading in your tone, almost tired, even. He wanted to say no, but he couldn’t. Kyle wasn’t known for having a cold heart. 

Without so much as a single word, Kyle pressed the button that would unlock the lobby door for you and wandered off into the living room to sit and wait for you. Surely it was a mistake to let you in. Riley didn’t seem to trust you nearly as far as he could throw you, and while the man didn’t trust many people, there was something different with the way he acted about you. It was like you were some feral creature, or a ticking time bomb. Perhaps you were something to be handled with care. Or just to be kept very far away from. 

A few minutes later a knock sounded at his door, announcing your arrival, and Kyle couldn’t help but groan as he pushed himself up from the couch. His sweat from his workout had caused an odd, damp feeling to coat his body, one that he wasn’t all too fond of. Still, he did his best to ignore it as he opened the door to greet you. 

It was strange seeing you without the makeup, wig, and skimpy outfit, as it was the only outfit he had seen you wear before. The woman who stood in front of him was completely unrecognizable, and you nearly looked… shattered. Your clothes were bulky and much too big for your body, and there was an obvious and odd tatter that tore the bottom of your jeans. A fair layer of sweat coated your forehead, and it looked as if you had escaped a prison rather than gone for a nice night stroll. 

“The hell happened to you?” Kyle asked as he took a step back to give you space to enter. 

“You don’t talk to women very often, do you?” you retorted, half annoyed. 

“Most women I talk to don’t look like they were just dragged through the bin.” 

The door closed shut behind you with a click and Kyle was quick to engage the lock while you strolled into his apartment. Quiet music continued to hum through the surround sound speakers, and your eyes seemed transfixed on the dim lighting and his impeccable interior decorating. A small black backpack rested on your shoulders, and you adjusted the straps as you took your time meandering throughout his living room. Despite your apparent desperate need for a place to stay, you didn’t seem all too intent on divulging why you showed up at his door of all places. 

“Seriously,” Kyle continued, “what happened?” 

As if annoyed with his question, you turned to face him fully while you gave him a careful look up and down. It had been a long while since Kyle had last felt like a specimen, as if someone tore apart every single piece of his appearance with just their look alone, and he wasn’t sure if he liked it coming from you or not. Luckily, you decided to be kinder than he had been and you kept quiet about his disheveled appearance. 

“Had a little run in with Makarov’s men. Nothing I couldn’t handle, but I just need a place to lay low for a bit. Persistent bastards,” you explained simply.

Makarov. Kyle tried not to concern himself too much with the inner workings of the mafia world. The only reason he was involved with that mess in the first place was because John Price wasn’t a bad friend to have, and his mothers job and status made it easy to bend the rules a little in which he would receive good payment in return. But Makarov was a name that even he grew to fear. A ruthless man, his schemes often seemed to be more terroristic in nature rather than selfish like most other syndicates. 

The fact that you took on his men alone and came out unscathed was a miracle. 

“Oh,” Kyle said as if the answer was obvious. “So you just brought them straight to my front door then?” 

“Don’t be rude,” you said with a glare. “I’m not stupid enough to have someone follow me. I know when I’m being tailed. Trust me, you and your penthouse Fort Knox are fine.” 

Frustrated, Kyle ran a hand over his hair before he gave you the most unamused expression he could muster which only had you rolling your eyes, an action you seemed to do quite often. It was as if his confusion and concern was below you, like you expected him to just blindly go along with whatever you said. 

“Anyway,” you continued as you turned your attention to his apartment once more, “can I borrow your shower? You know, since it looks like I’ve been dragged through the bin and all.” 

As much as Kyle wanted to say no because he had planned on showering, he didn’t want to be a bad host. And really, you looked like you needed it more anyway, especially after running into Makarov. So he showed you to his stupidly large bathroom, complete with a garden tub and tiled shower. The vanity was large enough that three people could fit comfortably side by side, and the mirror casted a beautiful glow along the marble flooring with its backlit LED lights. 

“Fancy,” you commented as Kyle handed you a fresh towel. 

“Do you need a fresh change of clothes?” he asked while he ignored the way you gawked at the room. 

Smirking, you looked at him with a raised brow as you tugged on the straps of your backpack. “Cute, but I’ve got it covered.” 

“Alright, just… don’t take all the hot water. I’ve gotta shower, too,” he said as he stepped out of the room. 

“Yeah, I can tell.” 

Once the door closed behind him, everything started to hurt, and you could no longer keep up that snarky facade. Your backpack slipped off your shoulders and landed on the floor with a dull thud, and you wasted no more time stripping your bulky sweater off. Blood soaked through the side of your shirt, causing the tattered mess to cling to your skin with its coagulated stickiness, and you were unable to hold back your grimace. The large rip in the side clearly showed the gash that plagued your waist, and while the blood flow had managed to slow, a steady trickle still continued to seep into your shirt. 

You could already hear Shepherd’s voice calling you a failure. Not only did you fail to steal the laptop he ordered you to grab, you had gotten yourself injured in the process like an amateur. There wasn’t any room for failure in his business. Least of all from his daughter. You wouldn’t be able to show your face for a while, not without punishment. 

Everything you did to clean yourself up was meticulous. You couldn’t afford to seek proper care, and you certainly didn’t want Kyle Garrick of all people figuring out what exactly you had gotten yourself into. So your bloodied shirt was shoved into your bag as you pulled out your first aid kit. Cleaning the wound was near agonizing, and having to twist your body to the side just to reach it didn’t really help, but you wouldn’t be able to superglue it with scabs crusting over your skin. Any materials that you used to patch yourself up were also thrown back into your bag for disposal at a later time. 

Leave no trace. 

Never let them see you bleed. 

That night you slept out on Kyle’s couch, much to his protesting. Despite the fact that you were probably the least pleasant person he had to deal with, second only to his mother, he still insisted on being kind and trying to take care of you and offered you his room instead. While the notion was noble, it honestly made you a little sick, so you burrowed into the couch with a borrowed pillow and blanket and slept the best you had for a long while. 

When morning came, a hand on your shoulder shook you awake and your arm reached out with a jolt. As your body and mind began to wake up, you quickly realized it was Kyle who attempted to wake you, and your hand gripped the collar of his shirt like you were ready to fight. He looked down at you with a raised brow as he slowly removed his hand from your shoulder. 

“Gonna kill the man who made you breakfast?” he asked in an attempt to tease you. 

Sighing, you relinquished your grip on his shirt and rubbed at your face. “Depends on if it’s a good breakfast or not.” 

Once you had the chance to wake up a little more, you followed Kyle into the kitchen where you were painfully reminded of everything that had happened to you the previous night. Your wound had the time to grow sore, and even the simple act of standing or sitting was near agonizing, yet you kept quiet as you sat down on the opposite side of the island from him. Everything about his apartment was impressive, from the full unit kitchen with a gas stove, to the floor to ceiling windows that looked out over the city. Even you had to admit you were a little jealous. 

Kyle had cooked up a few light and fluffy pancakes, complete with fresh cut fruit and other sides for you to add to your heart's content. Really, it was quite good, and you were able to momentarily forget about your unfortunate predicament. Though, the fact that you were in Kyle Garrick’s apartment was still something on your mind, and his too apparently, as he hadn’t let your omission from last night go fully unpunished. 

“So, you never did explain how you found me.” 

There it was. You knew this conversation was going to happen sooner or later. Your vast knowledge often unsettled and even intimidated people, and it seemed like Kyle was no exception. Of course you could have done the smart thing and stayed quiet. Opening that can of worms would only get him to ask more questions, ones he wouldn’t like the answers to, and yet you owed him at least a bit of an explanation. 

“Your mother’s financial assets go to different places every month, but there are a few that are always split the same way. First goes to the mortgage on her rather extravagant mansion in some bullshit gated community. Next is a direct route to a bank account, which I can only assume is yours. Ten thousand a month is a rather generous allowance, honestly. Especially since none of it has to go towards rent or bills, because the other place her monthly payments goes towards is the rent on this penthouse.” You paused to shove a rather large bite of food into your mouth before you looked up at him with a smile. “And before you ask, I found this out due to a data breach in her bank. Stuff happens all the time, really. Can’t trust anything electronic these days.” 

Kyle wasn’t sure if he should laugh or yell at you. Not only had you gotten every single detail right, but you were much too smug about it. While your banter always seemed lighthearted and friendly, there was something more insidious about it; or maybe he just felt threatened by you. Difficult to tell, but he knew being wary of Shepherd’s daughter wasn’t a bad idea. 

“Alright, that still doesn’t explain how you knew who my mother is,” he said, the irritation already beginning to show in his voice. “You mentioned it the first time we met like you were holding it over my head. Care to explain that?” 

Humming, you swallowed the food in your mouth before you leaned against the counter. “Not sure if you want me to explain that one.” 

“Cut the bullshit,” Kyle snapped. “Does it make you feel strong? Holding personal information above people’s heads like this?”

“No,” you corrected with a slight bite in your tone, “it makes me feel safe.” 

With a short pause, you set your fork down on your plate before you crossed your arms in your seat and stared up at Kyle. Without a chair for him to sit in on the other side of the island, he stood much taller than you, almost intimidatingly so, yet you didn’t falter. 

“I’m very confident in my ability to kick someone’s ass, but the real weapon lies in knowing shit. It gives you the upper hand, keeps you from getting hurt,” you explained. 

“Could’ve fooled me,” he retorted. “You flaunt it around like some all knowing being and then laugh in my face when I try to ask questions.” 

“Oh, is it knowledge that you want?” you challenged. “Because I could tell you anything you wanna know. Like how your friend Soap would have certainly gotten himself killed if he didn’t join up with Price because the people he worked for previously never intended to let him get any information and live because they don’t like loose ends. I also happen to know that the girl Riley keeps hanging around is a hot fucking mess, and he’s gonna find himself in a world of hurt if he keeps trying to pursue her. It’s always the quiet ones who have the most baggage, after all. Or that Mrs. Price’s dad wasn’t killed in a fucking accident like the papers would have you believe.” 

Eventually the adrenaline in your body built up too much for you to stay sitting. There was just something so infuriating about Kyle Garrick. Maybe it was the way he looked at you while you spoke, jaw tense and eyes refusing to tear from you. Maybe it was just that despite how terrible of a person you were being, he still showed you more kindness than you deserved. 

“Your dad is sick. Very sick, and has been for a long while,” you continued. 

“Don’t you fucking talk about him,” Kyle snapped as he took a step closer to you, and yet you ignored him. 

“Despite his illness, he works as a janitor five days a week for one of the elementary schools here in the city, but can only afford to go part time, so he doesn’t have a lot of disposable income. You love him. With your rent paid for, and more money than you know what to do with, you give a lot of your income to him instead so he doesn’t lose his home. You visit with him every Sunday for dinner, probably to also watch football. He’s the only reason you even work for Price. You’ll take any extra income you can get if it means expediting his treatment and keeping him comfortable and alive because he’s the only person in your life who ever actually gave a damn about you.” 

The silence that followed was the most uncomfortable one that you ever had to endure. You had read Kyle like a book, and all he could do was stare at you with some twisted look of understanding and betrayal. Finally, his eyes tore away from your face for the first time in what felt like ages, but you didn’t like where he looked next. 

“Is that blood?” he asked as if the conversation the two of you had was completely forgotten. 

And it was. That deep red color seeped out of your poorly patched wound and soaked into the fresh cotton of your shirt. Superglue was able to hold it together throughout the night, and yet the moment your heart rate went up from that petty display of power, you paid dearly for it. You weren’t sure what hurt more. The unhealed gash on your side, or the fact that Kyle still showed you such softness despite everything you had said to him. 

“I should go,” you excused yourself as you turned to march off towards the living room. “Shepherd will start to worry if I’m gone too long, and it should be safe for me to travel now that it’s light out.” 

Without hesitation, Kyle followed close behind you as you made a beeline for your backpack. It didn’t take you long to fish your bulky sweater out, and you tried not to think about all the bloody items that you had shoved in with it the previous night. Really, even if you showed your face around him that morning, you still weren’t safe. You failed, and yet facing Shepherd seemed more favorable to you than spending another moment with Kyle. 

“Hey, wait a minute,” he tried to reason, “if you’re hurt I know someone who can help. Soap’s girl patches up people all the time.”

“She’s an ER nurse who works day shift,” you said as you shoved the sweater over your body with a restrained grunt. “She’s got people in real need to worry about.” 

It all happened too fast. You had spent a night under his roof and Kyle didn’t even realize the pain you were in, and that felt wrong. Yet, you were leaving. And some terrible part of him didn’t want you to, so when you turned to march towards the door with your bag slung over your shoulder, he grabbed your wrist in some last attempt to get you to stay. Instead, he got nothing out of you but a pained squeak, and the moment you turned to face him with wide eyes, he let go of your wrist with the word sorry written all over his face. 

He was pretty. He really was. It was annoying. 

“I lied,” you suddenly admitted. “There was no way I could have known that you give a lot of your money to your dad. I don’t have access to your banking records, and never really had the need to. I only mentioned it because it fit you. It just seemed like something you would do.” You paused to swallow as you reached a hand up to your side. You could already feel the way the blood caused your shirt to stick to your skin, yet you forced yourself to endure. “You’re a kind person, Garrick. It’s a shame you ever got caught up in this kind of life.” 

There was nothing either of you could say as you turned your back to him. Nothing would change the fact that you were the bleeding enigma walking out of his penthouse, and all Kyle could do was stand there and watch as the door closed behind you. Maybe some other time he would be able to coax your history out of you. For the time being, you were still just Shepherd’s daughter, the woman whose name he didn’t even know, and yet the woman who turned to him when you needed it most. Maybe one day you would let someone care for your wounds. 

That day just wasn’t it. 

[rafecameroninterlude]

kook!reader and jj, in which reader gets jj a job and country club but the other kooks are pretty mean to him :( .

warnings: light flirting, fighting, rafe is jealous you like jj and not him, name calling

“so how are they treating you here?” you took a seat at the bar where jj was making a round of drinks. “how do you think?” he looked up from under the wisps of his hair. “okay, cool it with the sass. i was just asking.” he shook his head, huffing out a laugh. “look, i appreciate you getting me this job and all, but this shit blows,” jj glanced in the corner where rafe and his friends were dowing their beers, “and those assholes are the worst part of it all.” you turned around, rolling your eyes when rafe blew you a kiss.

“they’re so annoying, just ignore them jayj.” you sighed, eyeing the veins on his arms. “at least you look hot in your uniform.” jj pushed one of those fruity drinks you liked in front of you, leaning in as he did so. “you think so?” you hummed, a smile forming on your lips as he trailed his fingers down the side of your wrist. “yeah, i like-” before you could finish your sentence, a familiar, aggravating voice cut you off. “i see you’re still doing charity work for this piece of trash.” rafe took a seat next to you, fully aware of the way jj was glaring at him.

“how about you run back there to the kitchen and get us something to eat like you’re supposed to, pogue.” rafe spat the last word, his lip curling in disgust before landing his focus back on you. “do you always have to be an ass?” you shrugged him off, silently begging jj not to do what you knew he was fully capable of. “getting food isn’t in my job description, moron. i think you’d know that if you actually filled out an application.” jj winked, making rafe scoff. “why would i when we have people like you who need it more than i ever will?”

“rafe get out of here, seriously.” you shooed him, only for jj to intervene. “people like me? people who don’t have to depend on their daddy still?” you sighed when you saw rafe get up, his friends all somehow making their way over in unison. “let’s not do this, please, let’s just go jay.” you adjusted your little purse on your shoulder, motioning for jj to follow you out. “jay? you have a nickname for this loser?” rafe narrowed his eyes, “you know your parents would never approve of this scumbag.” jj reached over the bar, grabbing rafe by the collar of his shirt.

you stepped in front of rafe’s friends before they could team against jj. “and if her parents knew who you really were, they wouldn’t approve of you either. how does it feel knowing y/n will never choose you?” jj smiled. rafe was seeing red at this point. pulling his fist back, rafe swung and landed a punch square on jj’s cheek. the club then broke out into complete chaos. while rafe and jj were full on fighting with nothing but the bar between them, you were pushing rafe’s friends, telling them to let rafe and jj handle their business alone.

“what the hell is going on here?!” the director of the whole place came rushing in, his face beet red as he glared at jj. “just a little falling out, sir. they’re already done.” you flashed him a sweet smile, hoping he could just drop it. “you let go of that cameron boy right now, young man! his father is a very generous patron here,” rafe smirked as jj shoved him away, “and give me that apron, you’re done.” you sighed, shoulders falling in defeat as jj rounded the corner of the bar. this is officially the third job jj has gotten fired from on figure eight.

you followed jj as he balled up the material, chucking it in the director’s chest. “good, this job fuckin’ sucked.” you gasped, apologizing for him as you two walked out of the country club. “what the fuck?!” you stopped him, pulling his shoulder so he could face you. “look, i’m gonna do my own thing on the cut, and get money how i want to, alright? this shit isn’t for me. if you want to be mad at me for how i reacted towards rafe, fine, but i’m done with figure eight.” you watched him get on his dirt bike, pinching the bridge of your nose as he rode through the flowers.

[lestappenforever]

Lestappen fic - Ice cream shop owner!Charles AU

I don't typically get excited by AU ideas for Lestappen because Lestappen in canonverse is so appealing to me in and of itself. But, while AO3 was down yesterday, @thearchercore received and answered a whole bunch of asks from lovely anons about a Lestappen AU fic where Charles owns an ice cream shop (as inspired by the news that the man is actually going to open an ice cream shop in Milan.) And, well, for the first time ever, I got excited about a Lestappen AU. So, I wrote something.

This is, obviously, dedicated to the incredible @thearchercore, a true pillar of the Lestappen community, and to each and every anon who has sent in asks about this AU. And because this was entirely inspired by people on Tumblr, you can read the whole fic in this post. ❤️

---

Max realizes that he has probably let this whole thing go too far. Way too far. 

What had started as a chance encounter after the Monza Grand Prix, where Max had gone on a drive and ended up in a small, lovely ice cream shop - LEC - in Milan that served the most delicious vanilla ice cream Max had ever tasted, had spiraled and developed into what was now practically a weekly occurrence. Every chance he got, when the race calendar, his PR and training schedule would allow it, Max would fly to Milan, spending ridiculous amounts of money and contributing an unnecessary amount to further pollute the environment, just to go back to that ice cream shop.

And yes, although the vanilla ice cream was divine, that's not the real reason Max kept coming back. 

No, the real cause of his travels was the ridiculously beautiful shop owner, with the fluffy brown hair, the captivating green eyes Max kind of wanted to drown himself in, and dimples that Max saw every single night when he closed his eyes. And what’s more, the shop owner — Charles — didn't even seem to like Max, because the Monégasque was a die-hard Ferrari fan and he seemed to have made it his personal mission to put all the blame of Ferrari’s lack of success for the past fifteen years on Max. Even if Max hadn’t been in F1 for the entirety of those fifteen years.

Not that he was surprised, really. The passion of the Tifosi did, on more than one occasion, seem to seriously impact their sense of logic and capability of rational thinking. 

And apparently, the beauty, sass and stubbornness of the shop owner did the exact same thing to Max's. 

The irony of that is not lost on him.

The fact that the two of them had discovered they were on the same page about the superior ice cream flavor the first time Max had been in that ice cream shop — “vanilla is my favorite” Max had said at exactly the same time Charles had said “vanilla is the only right choice” — had not been enough to endear him to Charles. His allegiance with Ferrari and Max currently on yet another dominating winning spree with Red Bull was too strong. (Even if there had been the flicker of something in those green eyes when Charles had learned that he and Max were on the same page about vanilla ice cream.)

After yet another failed attempt at charming Charles a few weeks ago, Max had gotten so desperate that he had genuinely started considering a move to Ferrari, even starting to subtly ask around about the possibility, Red Bull’s superior car and strategies be damned. But then word had reached GP and his race engineer had told him, in no uncertain terms, that he would not be moving to Ferrari to impress ‘some ice cream guy in Milan’. Which Max had taken offense to, because Charles was not just ‘some ice cream guy in Milan’, thank you very much.

(Max really had to learn how to keep his mouth shut around GP.)

So yes, his obsession with the ice cream shop and its owner has gone way too far. And yet, on a warm August afternoon, Max finds himself walking back into that ice cream shop. 

Summer break has finally arrived, and Max had genuinely considered renting an apartment in Milan for the next three weeks so he wouldn't have to fly back and forth so much. But then he had come to the conclusion that that would be excessive. 

(Because flying back and forth between Monaco and Milan definitely wasn’t excessive. No, sir.)

Charles is there when Max walks in, as he is every single time Max walks in. The guy never seems to leave his beloved ice cream shop, and Max finds himself wondering if the other man gets enough sleep. Or if he even goes home to sleep, or if he has a bed set up in the back somewhere so he never has to waste time going back and forth between the ice cream shop and his home. 

He may not know Charles all that well, despite seeing him regularly for the past few months, but he does know that the man must have an incredible work ethic. 

The little bell above the door announces his arrival, and Charles looks up from behind the counter. For a brief second, Max is sure he sees a flash of excitement cross those gorgeous features, but the Monégasque quickly schools his expression into one of exasperation and indignation, complete with an overly dramatic eye roll. 

“No Red Bull Racing team members allowed,” Charles tells him with a huff, as he puts a brand-new tub of chocolate ice cream in the display freezer. 

Max snorts as he walks towards the counter. He had expected a frosty — pun intended — reception following Ferrari’s double DNF in the last race before the summer break, so Charles’ grumpy demeanor doesn’t deter him.  

“Hello to you too, Charles,” the Dutchman sing-songs, ignoring the way a couple of teenage girls at a table by the window gape at him. “Let me guess, Ferrari’s double DNF in Belgium was somehow my fault?”

Charles meets his gaze and narrows his eyes. He points an ice cream scoop at him. “I am not sure how, but yes.” He waggles the scoop accusingly. 

It’s Max’s turn to roll his eyes. “Right, because the two of them crashing into each other in turn two, while in P8 and P9 respectively, while I was at the very front definitely had something to do with me?”

“Obviously,” Charles confirms with a sniff. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Max laughs, shaking his head in a manner that can only be described as fond. He comes to a halt in front of the cash register at the counter, and waits for Charles to ask him what he wants. 

But Charles never does; instead busies himself with rearranging the different bowls of topping on top of the display freezer, wiping down the counter, and restocking the ice cream cones, all the while completely ignoring Max’s presence. Or general existence, even.

Eventually, Max runs out of patience.

“I’d like three scoops of vanilla ice cream, please.”

Charles doesn’t even stop what he’s doing. Doesn’t even look at him. “We’re all out of vanilla.”

Max stares. At Charles, then at the almost full tub of vanilla, with its little sign labeling it as vanilla sticking out of the fluffy ice cream. 

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Charles, I can see the vanilla ice cream. It’s right there,” Max insists, pointing at the flavor through the display glass. As if Charles isn’t completely aware of its existence, as if he’s not just being a little shit and punishing Max for something that isn’t even remotely his fault. 

Charles pauses in his bustling to look at Max. Then, he follows the length of Max’s arm to where his finger is pointing directly at the vanilla. His gaze returns to Max’s eyes as he says, deadpan: “That is only a display ice cream.”

Max blinks repeatedly.

“A display ice cream?” he echoes incredulously. 

“Yes,” Charles confirms, raising his chin. “It’s only for display, it is not to be served.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah, well, it’s like this,” the Monégasque says, lifting one shoulder in a careless shrug. 

Max doesn’t know if he wants to smack him or kiss him. 

(That’s a lie, he knows damn well that he wants to kiss that smug look right off of Charles’ stupidly beautiful face.)

“Fine,” the Dutchman sighs, moving his finger slightly to the right. “Then I would like three scoops of the chocolate.”

“I’m sorry, but that is also only a display ice cream,” Charles tells him with a completely straight face. 

“You’re not serious.”

Charles raises one full eyebrow. “Does it look like I’m joking?” he asks.

And, well, Max has to admit that it absolutely does not. 

He stands there in silence for a while, wondering why the hell this infuriating man has been the object of his deepest desires for the past few months. Wonders why Charles’ face is the only thing he sees when he closes his eyes to sleep at night, and why he is the one person that keeps appearing in the majority of his dreams. Wonders why, when his mind wanders as he has a secure grip around himself in bed, it keeps wandering to the mental images of what Charles would look like, feel like, sound like if he was there with Max, when all Charles seems to want to do is get under Max’s skin and infuriate him in ways and for reasons Max hadn’t even known he could let himself be infuriated. 

Oh, who is he kidding? Those reasons, coupled with Charles’ overall appearance and being, are exactly why his mind never seems to tire of Charles whatever-the-fuck-his-middle-name-is Leclerc, and only him. 

Max has always been a sucker for challenges. And Charles is definitely a challenge. 

Had Charles been an F1 driver instead of the owner of an ice cream shop, Max just knows their on-track battles would have been epic. Their rivalry would have been one for the ages; their names and lives so intertwined that people could not have mentioned one without also mentioning the other. Because Max is sure that Charles’ passion, his stubbornness and his outright refusal to give in to anything or anyone would have translated into a fierce, unyielding, unapologetic driver. 

Forcing himself out of his reverie, Max gives a quick shake of his head to clear is racing mind. Then, he fixes Charles with a hard stare. 

“Let me guess, these are all ‘display ice creams’?” he asks, gesturing with a hand at the numerous tubs of flavors in the display freezer. 

“Of course not,” Charles scoffs, as if that’s the most ridiculous statement that has been made in the ice cream shop in the past few minutes. “That would be a horrible way to run a business. We have one flavor that is not only for display.”

Max is almost afraid to ask, but he does anyway. “Which is?”

Charles doesn’t answer the question with words, just points to the bottom tub at the far left. The little sign reads ‘Mint chip’.

“Who the fuck eats mint chip ice cream?” Max asks, scrunching up his nose in disgust. “That’s like eating toothpaste.”

For the first time since Max stepped through the door, Charles smiles. A beautiful, self-satisfied, mischievous smile that does things to Max’s body, mind and soul. It makes his heart rate pick up and his skin tingle with an excitement he has no business feeling. 

Pathetic. He’s absolutely pathetic. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Max. That's all I have to offer today.”

And Max, proving just how completely gone he is on this ridiculous man, lets out a long, tired sigh. 

“Three scoops of mint chip, please,” he requests in a voice that is completely resigned. 

Charles’ face lights up like a fucking Christmas tree, and he scurries to get one of the small glass bowls reserved for customers who want to eat their ice cream in the shop, not even needing to ask if that’s what Max is planning to do, or if he wants his ice cream in a cone. And although Charles is doing his damnedest to make Max believe that his general existence on this earth is causing Charles physical pain and emotional turmoil, the fact that Charles remembers his preference doesn’t go unnoticed by Max. 

He won’t even entertain the idea that Charles might just be adamant on making Max sit in his shop and eat his mint chip ice cream so Charles can watch him suffer with every spoonful. 

Charles is generous with the scoops — incredibly so — and Max is sure those three scoops he requested actually equal the size of at least six regular-sized scoops. He realizes that he probably should have asked for one scoop instead of three. He watches as Charles sticks a spoon in the ice cream and places the bowl on the counter in front of Max with the biggest grin on his face.

“It’s on the house,” Charles tells him, probably just to further add to Max’s suffering. 

The Dutchman eyes the bowl of ice cream warily, quietly cursing it and himself, before picking it up with a hesitating hand. Charles watches him expectantly the entire time as Max makes his way to a small table in one corner of the shop. Behind him, a small child, probably around five or six, had entered the shop with his mother while Max was waiting for Charles to finish scooping, and Max hears the boy ask for two scoops of strawberry ice cream. And Charles — the fucking asshole — makes a point out of saying ‘coming right up’ in both Italian and English just to fuck with Max some more.

Max takes a seat with his back to the window so he can face Charles. Because if nothing else, he’s not going to let Charles win.

The first spoonful really does taste like toothpaste with a hint of chocolate, and it’s an awful combination. It takes every ounce of willpower Max has not to let the disgust he’s feeling show on his face. He lets the ice cream melt in his mouth for a long moment, before swallowing the disgusting liquidized ice cream, all the while maintaining a completely unaffected expression. 

Charles watches him eat the entire bowl of ice cream, and Max never breaks eye contact. With every expressionless swallow, Max can see the thinly veiled disappointment on Charles’ face and the satisfaction he gets from that is enough to motivate him to finish every single bite. He even makes a point out of scraping the melted remains of the ice cream from the sides of the bowl, scooping it up into a mint green coloured soup in his spoon, and eating it. He even briefly considers licking the bowl clean just to get a rise out of Charles, but the Monégasque turns away from him with a huff before he can put his plan into action.

Which, thank fuck, because Max is starting to feel a bit sick from the ridiculous amount of toothpaste-flavored ice cream he has just consumed out of spite and spite alone. He pushes the bowl forward and away from himself on the table with a frown.

Charles goes back to ignoring his presence for the next fifteen minutes, and Max waits. Just because he can — just because he knows this wasn’t the outcome Charles had expected and he wants to revel in the satisfaction of finally getting under Charles’ skin for once for a little while longer. 

Eventually, Charles comes to collect his empty bowl and gives Max a disapproving glare. 

“Well? How was it?”

And Max, unable to resist, gives Charles his biggest, brightest smile. “It was delicious, thank you.”

If looks could kill, Max would have been dead. Then, Charles turns on his heels and walks away with Max’s empty bowl and spoon. 

Taking the win, Max gets to his feet and waits for Charles to look over at him from behind the counter. When he does, he gives the other man a wave. “See you tomorrow, Charles.”

“You’re not coming back tomorrow!” Charles shoots back.

“Oh, but I am,” Max counters. It sounds like a promise, and it is. 

As he walks out of the ice cream shop, feeling Charles’ gaze boring into the back of his head as he does, Max pulls his phone out of his pocket and starts looking up hotels in the area with available rooms.

***

Max stays in Milan for two weeks, and he goes to Charles’ ice cream shop every single day. 

Every day, Charles tells him the only flavor he can serve him is mint chip. By day three, Max has stopped trying to argue with him. By day five, Max orders vanilla and Charles responds with ‘three scoops of mint chip coming up’. And every day, Max sits at his little table by the window to eat his ice cream while Charles stands behind the counter, watching him eat the entire time. 

Every. Single. Day. 

And every single day, Max can see Charles’ resolve crumbling, little by little, convincing him that his tragic efforts are not in complete vain. They might be mostly in vain, but Max is in far too deep at this point to care.

On the eighth day, Max stays until closing and Charles spends the majority of his free moments actually hanging around Max’s table and engaging him in conversation. It's a step in the right direction, even if Charles does end up kicking the Dutchman out when he has to count the register.

And on the eleventh day, as Max is about to leave after finishing yet another disgusting, massive portion of mint chip ice cream, Charles finds himself looking at the blond from behind the counter, watching as Max smiles down at his phone. Those piercing blue eyes are crinkling in delight, causing adorable smile lines to appear at their corners, his full, inviting lips stretching to expose his straight, white teeth. A wave of something — jealousy, Charles would define it as if he wasn’t a pigheaded dick when it comes to four-time F1 World Champion Max Emilian Verstappen — washes over him at the thought of whatever or whoever it is that puts that smile on Max's face. 

It makes the Monégasque realize that all of his attempts over the past few months to convince himself that he doesn’t find Max attractive or charming as hell, and that he definitely doesn’t want to find out whether Max likes vanilla in bed, too, have been for naught. 

And so, with an overwhelming feeling that he's losing a battle he's been fighting for months, Charles throws away the paper towel he had been using to dry his hands and resigns himself to his fate. Because sometimes, perseverence needs to be rewarded.

And he's not just referring to Max's.

“You can take me out to dinner tonight,” he tells Max, and it sounds like the statement pains him. Which it kind of does.

Max stops dead, one hand on the door handle, half-turned to face Charles. The look on his face is one of utter surprise.

“Really?” he asks, and he sounds so fucking hopeful that it should probably make Charles change his mind. But instead, it makes him want to close up the shop immediately and let Max take him out to dinner right fucking now.

Which is pathetic, really. But then again, so is the way Charles has been waking up every day hoping Max Verstappen would walk through the door of his ice cream shop for the past few months.

But, having no intention of showing his hand, Charles maintains a stoic expression as he nods. 

“Pick me up here at nine.”

Max's smile is so wide that Charles wonders if it makes his cheeks hurt. He also wonders if said cheeks will feel as warm to the touch as they look.

“Okay,” Max says, still smiling. “Then I'll see you again at nine.”

And with that, Max turns, pulls the door open, and walks out of the shop. 

When Charles can only just see the back of the Dutchman through the window, he sees Max stopping briefly on the sidewalk and pumping his fist in the air in the same celebratory manner Charles has seen after so many victorious races over the years.

He looks ridiculous, and Charles might just be falling a little bit in love with him.

Charles doesn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day.

***

It turns out that Max's preferences in bed are far more adventurous than his taste in ice cream.

Which turns out to be yet another thing they're on the same page about.

[wordy-little-witch]

Brainrot is kicking in, work has me by the throat, I am so tired

Enter: self indulgent sillies

Shanks and Buggy both were kidnapped very often as children - be it by Marines, enemy pirates, Whitebeard on occasion, random ass guys targeting two unattended children, whatever.

They both have gotten so desensitized to it that they don't even get scared anymore. It becomes more "I'm not held here with you, you're stuck here with ME" type of situation.

Buggy is sassy, snarky, rude and sarcastic. Shanks pops in now and again with some completely out of pocket shit that sends Buggy into hysterics. Think that scene from Helluva Boss with Blitzø and Moxxie being kidnapped.

This complete lack of care extends well into their adulthood - Shanks because it's honestly kind of funny that someone had the audacity to try him, Buggy because sarcasm and sass is his defense mechanism.

Enter: Cross Guild.

Marines try an infiltration mission to Cross Guild, but they severely underestimated the organization. Mihawk was off island at the time, so they thought that the biggest powerhouse who could identify them via observation haki was gone. Buggy notices immediately both because his haki is oversensitive and he's gotten scarily good at reading body language. Crocodile, when informed, proposes they give the squadron what they want with interest.

A series of unfortunate events lead to Buggy and some of the crew shackled and in the plaza. Buggy's got seastone cuffs on wrists and feet both, and has failed to mention the mini transponder in his hair piece. The Marines made the mistake of cuffing him behind his back, thinking it would limit his knife skills. They don't know that Buggy's anxiety and paranoia has lead to him having a secret pin in his boots specifically to pick locks.

Buggy then proceeds to roast the men with all he's got while he works.

The others present are both confused and fighting laughter as the commanding officer gets more and more pissed off before he finally backhands Buggy dark enough to split his lip. Then a hand clutches his throat, lifting him slightly. Buggy splutters. The marine grins, a nasty thing, demands Buggy apologizes, complaining about the blood on his white sleeve. Buggy tries to speak and can't from the lack of air.

"Oh," the officer coos, "what is it? Finally going to beg forgiveness?" He loosens his grip just enough for Buggy to get some air, lowers enough for the other to go on tiptoes to get a strangled breath. Buggy cracks an eye open, a smile blooming on his face.

"H-Harder, daddy~"

The Marine drops him in disgust.

No matter what they try, Buggy has a come back. Crocodile is listening in, and Mihawk, upon arriving back, has joined him to avoid the navy presence. They're both a bit stunned, a little intrigued, and mayhap rethinking some preconceived notions of the clown.

Especially when there's sound over the transponder snail, a little clink, thump, a shout, and something wet.

"Well," Buggy's voice carries over. "Who's next? Come on, I haven't got all day, you already made me miss two appointments, you dull Neanderthals."

There's a sound like a sword being drawn, a war cry, and Buggy chuckles. "Ohh. You're stupid, huh? That's okay, Buggy likey dumby~"

Turns out even in seastone cuffs, even in twice as much as a typical pirate or criminal wears, Buggy is more than capable of taking out a squadron. He uses his surroundings to his advantage, fighting dirty and taunting them playfully, much to the admiration of the other's present. One cuff is off his wrist, but three more are still on him, cutting off his powers. He still manages to not get cut until the near end.

Even then, it's because one of the stragglers tried attacking his chained subordinates. Buggy gets a cut to the cheek, mild and harmless, maybe needing stitches, but he's furious. "No no no," he grits out, "You're playing with me right now." A stolen sword sinks into an opening with ease. Buggy leans in close. "Don't you ever fucking touch my children. Understand?"

No response. Buggy shifts the sword. There's a scream.

"Understand?"

"Y-yes..."

"Yes what?"

"Y-yes... s-sir."

Buggy snorts. "I was looking for your majesty." Then he yanks the blad up and out, leaving the body to slump to the ground. He turns to the few remaining. "Well?"

Buggy handles it on his own, the followers are even MORE fanatic, and Crocodile and Mihawk are facing a sudden and unexpected paradigm shift while watching Buggy happily eat a bowl of ice cream, kicking his feet happily and simply vibing like it's a typical Tuesday afternoon.

[percheduphere]

LET'S TALK ABOUT MOBIUS'S HEAVY KEYS

I wrote a meta on S1 Mobius here, mostly exploring his interrogation persona and emotional trajectory toward S1E6. I also have a fun little list on all the things I love about him here.

@mitromana posted about how we should talk about Mobius's sass and even cruelty more. @wowwwmobius posted how Mobius realistically would not be doing well post-S2E6 (I wholeheartedly agree), and they and @inwantofamuse shared amazing comments. All of this inspired this meta.

Thank you @mitromana @wowwwmobius @inwantofamuse!

Mobius's interrogation scenes are him at his most cruel and ruthless. The flipside of being a highly empathetic person is that it is very VERY easy to use this skill in highly abusive, cunning, and powerful ways. This is especially true if the person armed with this skill is exceptionally intelligent and is convinced their motivations are good. At the TVA, before Loki's exposure of the truth, Mobius is both of these things. Worse, he has access to the TVA's more ethically unconscionable technology, which he does not hesitate to use.

The road to evil is paved with good intentions. Mobius strolls onto this road more than once, but he manages to not stay on it because two people curb this risk: Loki and, yes, Sylvie.

Take in Loki's words and posture in this scene. The words alone are a frail and weak comeback for a silver-tongue God of lies. They do nothing but reveal Loki is in FACT scared. His arms are crossed tightly over his abdomen, a primal protective response. He's leaned as far away from Mobius as possible. This is the best Loki can come up with in the face of a boring man in a boring suit, really?

You can see why Mobius was moved into the position of Analyst from Hunter. He may not be able to prune children, but he can literally bring a God like Loki to the ground, breathless, confused, and frightened, with nothing more than WORDS. And this is with a variant Mobius likes. Imagine what he can do to a variant he hates.

For HWR and Ravonna's purposes, Mobius is the perfect weapon to get whatever they want out of whatever variant they capture before sending them off to get pruned. How do they keep him from questioning anything?

Memory-wiping (more than once), brainwashing, propaganda, and:

A little something for Mobius's identity, something that fulfills his intrinsic need to take care of others while also gently stroking his ego.

Yes, the genocide of multiple timelines over the span of eons is horrifying. But Mobius is capable of being complicit with it as long as his environment feeds his intrinsic psychological and emotional needs. The people on the Sacred Timeline become his new children, and he will do anything ANYTHING to protect them.

There was one thing HWR and Ravonna didn't anticipate: that this man's empathy for a specific Loki would be the very thing that liberates the multiverse and his own bondage from a corrupt bureaucracy.

However...

I don't believe Mobius ever anticipated becoming emotionally compromised when he advocated on Loki's behalf. He likely genuinely believed that after centuries of studying Loki, he knew him well enough to make him useful for the TVA. But the subconscious, oh. That is a different story, and in Loki's own words, Mobius has a gift for lying to himself.

I discuss the interrogation scene and Sif loop scene in depth here, so I won't repeat myself, but I'd like to draw our attention to the 2 gifs below, framing my analysis:

Imagine where Mobius's mind must be at:

I spent centuries studying you and believing in you. I waited more centuries for your nexus event to come. I tasked every hunter to inform me of your arrival immediately, no matter what I was doing, no matter where I was. I abandoned a case. I ran to your trial. I put my job, reputation, and eons-long friendship with Ravonna on the line. I tested your theory. I brought you with me on the field. You talked to me. You challenged me. You made me proud. You made me laugh.

I gave you daggers and you stabbed me. You STABBED me. When all I wanted to give you was--

Mobius cracked hard and fast. Applaud Owen Wilson for THIS interpretation of the script and THIS delivery.

Thankfully, the very person who put Mobius in this fragile state of mind is also the person Mobius deeply wants to believe in. Even after being betrayed, Mobius still wants to believe in Loki and his capacity to be a wonderful person. And so he looks at Ravonna's TemPad, decides Loki deserves to be with whoever he wants to be with (even if that person will never be Mobius himself), frees Loki to help him save the woman he loves, and gets pruned for it.

Mobius survives thanks to plot-armor. And who is the first person he meets?

The bane of his existence.

And Sylvie wastes no time driving a knife into a very fresh wound. Mobius, however, only recently unleashed all his rage. His reservoir for compartamentalizing has refreshed, so he can take Sylvie's truth bravely, without a flinch, and acknowledge that truth with one of his own.

Mobius owns it. He doesn't deny it. He tacitly agrees with her and gives her a reason why.

We should remember how dangerous Mobius can be. He is currently sitting in a car with the variant he is most likely to hate. Sylvie is strong, clever, and resilient, but her ability to regulate her emotions is weak, especially if she is triggered. Mobius can destroy her very easily with his words.

But Mobius can't hate her. He can't. She was right and he was wrong, but most importantly Loki loves her.

He won't hurt the person Loki loves most. No. He will take her to him instead. He can stomach the pain, the disappointment. He's good at that. Loki's well-being, his happiness, comes first.

In fact, Mobius stomachs Sylvie's knife twists a second time and chooses not to defend himself. I don't doubt a large part of him agrees with her. Nevertheless, he can't help but hope Loki might stand up for him in that moment. He tries, and fails, to make light of it by rolling his eyes and turning to his friend. When Loki leaves him not explaining why, his true feelings about this interaction surfaces on his face.

Aren't you going to say anything?

The saddest thing is that this is the LAST intimate moment THIS Mobius has with Loki before Loki crosses the gangway and never returns. This is it. This is what he's left with: the thought Loki didn't care enough to defend him and Loki leaving.

HE doesn't get to hear that he's just trying to see in the dark and is doing everything he can to keep the surviving timelines alive. SYLVIE does.

HE doesn't get to hear Loki tell him he saved his life. DON does.

HE doesn't get the final goodbye and "thank you, Mobius", his PAST SELF does. And if Mobius happens to remember this moment in the present, he will know that he was the one who propelled Loki to bear this massive burden ALONE.

My worry for Mobius post-S2E6 is that he is more than talented at ignoring his own needs and addressing his own problems. He is infinitely better--a master, even--at taking care of anyone else. It's a devastating flaw, but it comes from a very raw place:

His heart, his soul, will always remember being a single parent.

Being a parent at all is hard to begin with. There are only so many hours in a day, and the majority of it is devoted to putting someone else's needs before your own. Being a single parent is even harder. You might have a few people to help you, but ultimately, there's no partner to share every high and low intimately. To be a single parent of not one but TWO children?

Game over.

Some viewers have interpreted Don ignoring his sons' phone calls at work as negligent. Honestly, I don't think that's the case. He will call them back. Don is Mobius and Mobius is Don. He will take care of them. But refusing every beck and call at work is the only personal boundary he has. He cannot have many boundaries for himself at home or anywhere else. He has to decline not one but two calls for his own sanity. Nevermind that he works Monday through Saturday, nine to five, to make enough money to keep them healthy and happy. Where is the break? There is none. This is Don's glorious purpose.

Mobius leaving the TVA is understandable for two crucial reasons: One, it is a reminder of all his horrifying acts and complicity. Two, it is a reminder Loki is no longer there. But by leaving the TVA, Mobius separates himself from his only support system. That's not good. That is decidely unhealthy. The fact that it doesn't cross B-15, Casey, or OB's minds that this is a very bad idea tells you everything you need to know about the number of genuinely close friends Mobius has.

Mobius has two. He walked away from one to be with the second, and the second walked away from him, too. TWICE.

But he still loves him anyway.

When you take a man like this and take away everything that's kept him functional: the TVA, Ravonna, Loki, and then show him a content life in which he cannot even be with his own children because another version of him already exists, what do you think will happen to him given we've seen how violently Mobius can snap?

And guess what: only one person has ever seen Mobius snap on more than one occasion. Only one person understands the triggers and how to handle them. I'll give you three guesses as to who it is.

Mobius "has a happy ending" is absolute bullshit. He is at risk.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

I think this is probably the last one for tonight. Or...this morning. It's five A.M. and it would likely be logical for me to go sleep now.

Soooo I got two Fluffy Alphabet requests for Sassy McSwordsman back to back with quite a few intersecting letters, so I just combined them both into one post.

This post, even.

Anyway...Mihawk.

A is for Affirmation (How affirming are they of you and their love for you?)

“Yes, I called you 'darling.' What of it? Shall I call you pest instead?”

Has developed a tendency to address you by pet names without being sarcastic about it, and doesn’t even really seem to notice he’s doing it unless you point it out—in which case he’ll fix you with a wry look and probably an equally wry comment.

The L word really doesn’t come out of Mihawk’s mouth very often. It’s not something  he’s ever said very much to anyone, he doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve. If you say it then he’ll respond accordingly, but otherwise he don’t say it much.

Actions speak far louder than words in his case. He has made it clear that he absolutely will not tolerate anyone or anything threatening or insulting you, that he places your safety and contentment on a pedestal and will do whatever he has to in order to ensure you have both.

When he does say it, you know he means it. He makes sure to look into your eyes, to say it with absolute conviction.

Always says it before you part ways, regardless of how long, or before you fall asleep. Given the dangerous and violent nature of his life in general, he knows full well that any time you part could be the last time. He wants to make sure that if that should come to pass, that “I love you” should be the final words exchanged between you.

C is for Courtship (How would they court you?)

“I wouldn’t venture to waste my time speaking with anyone but the most stunning woman here, my lady.”

Courtship is a game of cat and mouse to Mihawk—once he knows you’re interested, he thoroughly enjoys teasing you with his own intentions, and he’s both patient and confident enough to keep the game going until you’re ready to lose your everloving mind.

He’s fairly subtle about it, but not so subtle as to leave you wondering about whether he’s interested. He’ll make it clear enough that he wants you to himself, but he wants to make sure to leave you wanting, to build the anticipation to a breaking point.

Intense eye contact when you’re speaking, peppered with quick glances up and down your body.

Keeping his voice low and intimate when he speaks to you, maybe as an excuse to lean in a little closer…or a lot closer.

His hand curling beneath your chin to draw you in, close enough to almost meet your lips before drawing back and assuming a more formal tone again—eyes glued to yours the entire time, drawing a great deal of entertainment from your reaction.

Greeting you or parting ways with you by bending down slightly to lift your hand and brush his lips to it.

F is for Family/Family (What happens when they’re around other people you care about?)

“Yes, darling, I’ll behave—so long as they do.”

He’s willing to grin and bear family affairs and friends for your sake, though he very much prefers it being just the two of you.

Perfectly capable of being polite and cordial, though there’s going to be the occasional dry comment here or there simply because sass is his default setting.

But if it’s uncomfortable for you to be around anyone, or if you have any family members or fair-weather friends that happen to be vindictive and/or judgmental, then it might be best to leave him out of it—he absolutely will not put up with anyone insulting you.

You’re his treasure, after all—and he’s one of the strongest men in the world, which makes you, as far as he’s concerned, among the most valuable treasures in the world. No one gets away with doing or saying anything  to demean you in front of him.

He has more than enough self-control to not get violent for your sake, but he doesn’t need Yoru to tear someone a new asshole if they do or say anything that he deems offensive. He’s just as quick with words as he is with a blade, and the offending party is going to come out of the exchange with a  mortally wounded sense of pride.

I is for I Love You (Who says it first, how long does it take, how does it happen?)

“What do you mean, ‘do I mean it?’ Why would I have said it if I didn’t?”

Him. Absolutely him.

Solitary as he is, it’s a bit awkward for him to say in the first place. He wants to be sure you know, but he doesn’t want to make a huge deal of it. It’s just a simple truth that has to be stated at some point, and he has to be sure he’s the one who says it first.

It might take a while. He won’t say it until he’s absolutely sure of it, but his inclination to be in total control of any and every situation he finds himself in means he’s going to take that initiative himself.

If he so much as senses you intend to say it first, he’s going to cut you off every single time.

It’s also going to come completely out of the blue. Not in the middle of some extravagant gesture, but just in passing; perhaps before you go to bed one night, perhaps as you happen to be leaving the room. He intends to catch you off guard with it, to see if you simply return the sentiment single thought, before it fully registers in your mind what you’ve just said—what he has just said.

The more taken aback you are by the realization, the more amused he’ll be; he was halfway aiming to shock you, and he finds it quite endearing.

K is for Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you/be kissed?)

“…And to whom, little one, do those lips belong?”

Firm and unyielding, deep and intense, grasping you by your arms or your wrists to limit your own movement and claim full control. He wants to steal your breath away every time your lips touch, and damned if he isn’t an expert at it.

He loves to press his lips just below the corner of your jaw to feel your pulse quicken while his hands drift over you.

He’s going to leave bruises, marks across your neck and shoulders that claim you as his, so that no one might dare question who you belong to.

Mihawk would never admit to having any weakness, but if he had to admit to just one, it would be when you brush your lips just next to his ear in between intimate murmurs and whispers—it drives him absolutely feral for you.

N is for Needs (What do they need in a healthy relationship?)

“Come now, dear—do you think I would be here with you if I didn’t honestly want to be?”

Not an awful lot, honestly. As high maintenance as he comes across (and he his high maintenance in nearly every other aspect of his life), he really doesn’t require much from a romantic relationship. Just the basics, really: trust, honesty, and loyalty. The three go hand-in-hand, and he would never have even entertained the idea of a relationship with you if he didn’t trust you, so he isn’t terribly concerned.

His confidence borders on arrogance at the best of times, so reassurance isn’t any issue. He can’t see any reason that you would lie about your feelings, nor does he have any reason to lie about his own. He’s brutally honest to a fault, so there really isn’t any reason for you to mistrust him, either.

While he would prefer for his lover to be just as low-maintenance, he won’t fault you if you aren’t. He has no issue offering you reassurance if you require it—though he may taunt you a bit about needing it in the first place.

Quality time would likely be his primary love language; he can stand some time apart, but he very much prefers having you near. Knowing you’re safe in his arms gives him peace of mind.

O is for Others (How do they react when you’re around other people?)

“Of course I trust you, my little bird—it’s everyone else that presents an issue.”

It strongly depends on the people in question. If he knows that you’re in a social situation you find uncomfortable, he won’t leave your side for any reason, and will use his presence alone to intimidate the opposing party until they leave you be.

If you’re among friends, he’ll take on more of a silent observer role. He’s more than capable of being amicable if directly addressed, but otherwise he’s likely to remain off to the side, quietly watching and listening, taking it as an opportunity to learn more about you.

In a crowd of strangers, particularly if he notices any other men eyeing you, he’ll keep an arm curled protectively around your waist. He isn’t much for public displays of affection, but he wants it to be known that you’re his, and that anyone who thinks they can change that will have to answer to him.

He does his best not to come off as imposing or controlling toward you—but while he trusts you implicitly, he doesn’t extend that courtesy to many other people.

[owlight]

Strawhats men with a short s/o(crewmate) who is very salty about begin short

Headcanons

Characters: Luffy, Zoro,Sanji,Brook,Jinbe,Usopp,Franky + chopper

Tw: non ,fluff

Notes: some can be seen as paltonic I think,sorry for the Zoro slander here 💀🫰

Luffy

The fact he is short and you still shorter than him? Smh...He won't bully you for it but you were compared to chopper multiple times ,Yes he was the one to do so,no he wasn't thinking when he said that ,No he never think before he talk

You were both running from the Marine and Luffy had carried you to get away to the ship,it was chaotic,the moment you both back to safety Luffy let you down with a smile "(y/n) you're as light as chopper!-actually you're not much taller than him,I never noticed that before" He tease you light-heartedly ,you look at him with a deadpan face " say that again and I will stab you with a rusty spoon"

He find your very creative salty insults funny ,he love that you're fun sized and doesn't see why you are so salty about it, you're still strong and smart! Like height shouldn't matter ,but ofc he wouldn't understand the struggle of begin the shortest mf after chopper on this large ship

You are always picked up by him,you have no choice it's a habit you will have to get used to

Does Not allow anyone else to tease you about your height though,He Will fight for u 🫶

Do not stab him with a rusty spoon please 😔

Zoro

He tease you for it a lot Knowing you would throw one of the most Unhinge threat known to man kind always crack him up

"Hey shortcake need help with this?" Zoro tease you with a grin as he look down at you as you try to give him a kiss as you stand on your tip toes,he usually lean down for you but it seem today he decided to be a clown ,you quickly change your mind "I'm going to kiss Sanji" you simply say leaving wiping the grin off his face , Zoro Eye widen as he run after you " hey come back I was joking!"

He like to tease you about it light-heartedly only because your reactions are cute and he loves how much sass you got in you ,it turns him on

Like he would fight for you if anyone make fun of you,like he is the only one allowed to tease you about this , you're his lover and you know he mean no harm by it

He would carry you like a sack of potatoes all the time if he could, you don't like it but it's probably because you have short legs and he walk faster than you and it's how your life is with him

Good luck with him,just remember his kneecaps are very close and so is his balls,Never let him forget what Short kings capable of <3

Sanji

The most respectful guy out of all of them , you are not going to have him tease you about it,he would rather die than have you upset from him

He would be defending your honor with you,he would kick mosshead for you if he ever teased you about your height like He is fight or die for you , you're his Short beloved and he Drink (y/n) respect juice every day

Admire your sass and your unhinged threats when you get salty about it ,very adorable in his opinion, you're very cute

" hey shorty ,wanna train with me later?" Zoro asks you and you can't help but huff "Hey don't call me that ,you don't see me calling you a giraffe-but yeah maybe if you ask nicer!" you glares at him "hey mosshead! Stop harassing my love!!" " Oh shut it you stupideyebrows-" ah shit here we go again

Those moments happen way too much but at least you got Sanji to carry you so you can sass Zoro face to face 😔

He is your ride or die ,ur moral support but that doesn't stop him from carrying you at every possible and finding you cute,it's merely a small price you gotta pay for begin small😔

Usopp

He treat you normally 😭like this man see no problem with it since you're not that Short compared to him

Only because he fear your anger and salty side ,you did try to burn Zoro ass for teasing you once , you're a force he would rather not anger

Usopp was walking around the ship when he found you sitting holding few bottles of alcoholic drinks that for sure belong to Zoro " oh hey (y/n),what are you doing?" You look at him with a smile " hey love! Zoro had called me short five times today, I'm going to put salt in all his bottles" you tell him as you walk to the kitchen, leaving Usopp staring at you leaving,damn.

He find you adorable,he can admit that you look very carry worthy but he doesn't carry you unless you ask of him Because he doesn't want to offend you on accident

He is very sweet about it ,might tell Zoro to stop his teasing if he sees that it's making you sad

He is very sweet ,give him a hug and tell him you will let him carry if he asked nicely ): <3

Franky

Everyone is shorter than him but you're just SUPER Short compared to him haha yeah unscrew his dick for that joke for sure

" oh (y/n) don't be so upset ,I was joking!" He tells you as he watches you bring a screw driver " hey! What are you doing with that?'" He asks as he steps few step back,you smiles menacingly " I'm going to fix this!" Franky look slightly scared "hey my legs are still mine!" He run away and you run after him "they won't be after I catch you!"

You traumatized him for real but he deserved it ,he needed to be humbled and made example of ,never mess with (y/n) ,he no longer make fun of your height but you bet your sweet ass he still pick you like you're a sack of onions

Nothing will stop him from doing so,you can't kiss him unless he does that so you gotta swallow your pride for love 😔

He still tease you about it but more lightheartedly ,he find your reactions very adorable when they aren't very scary<3

He offer to make u taller if u want ,think about it and decide baby gorilla 💖

Brook

He is the tallest mf out there 💀 like idk what to tell u

He will joke and tease and pick you and you can't do anything to stop him,he might love you but You don't even reach his hips it's so funny to him 😭

You were both outside as a thunderstorm started ,you were both looking at the sky when brook broke the silent" Hey (y/n) how is the weather down there? Yohohoho" he asks you as he look down at you ,you look at him giving him the middle finger " I hope the next lighting get your tall ass" you tell him with spite,brook laughs as he pats your head ,you chuckle slightly as your wish come true and he is Hit by the lighting causing him to fly away from your side , karma is good

He pick you up and put you on his boney shoulders and it's a whole different point of view ,yeah he might be annoying but this is fun and he is a pervert who is doing this out of his desire to be crushed by ur thighs 😔 but you don't know that so it's still kinda wholesome activity you both do

He will be pleased to see you sassing to anyone who anger u about ur height like that's very hot of you ,he is as hard as a bone-yo know because he is a skeleton 💀🫰

Root for u when u fight Zoro for calling you short ,kick him in the nuts ,Win (y/n)!!!

Jinbe

Very polite about it <3 king won't even mention it ,most humans are shorter and smaller than him ,and he really doesn't really like to tease someone for something they can't control

He will try to help you with staying calm when someone tease you, channel your chaotic unhinged energy into something positive rather trying to poison Zoro for calling you a mouse

" he is your crewmate! Why would you try to fight him over a comment dear (y/n)?" He asks you as you grab your weapon of choice which is a shoe "to get a message across Jinbe,I can't let him keep calling me these names !" You huffs as you aim to throw the shoe ,Jinbe sighs deeply as he goes to stops you from giving Zoro memory loss

He does carry you around in a nice cuddly way and u allow it cuz it feel safe and nice when he carry you,this man is the best in begin a good vibe

He slowly teaches you to stop caring about what people says about you and start teaching you how to be more carefree about it so you don't have to waste your energy on begin a ball of salt nd sass

He does loves ur small salty self tho so don't worry if u can't stop fighting ppl he will still support u <3

Chopper (paltonic)

" you're just like me for real " he tells you as you both sits together on the ground,both drinking juice as he comfort you from an earlier tease from nami

He will defend ur Honor with all his might , short gang never leave each others fr

Even when he turn into his more monsterous and taller self,this king will still be in ur short team

He does not support ur salty plans of revenge but he understands and think Zoro always have it coming for teasing you about it so much

10/10 he wishes he had ur attitude sometimes 😔

[arrowmaker15]

This one's a bit of a mean one, because I'm pretty sure most superheroes didn't like Jason when he showed up.

(Jason Todd first meeting the Justice League)

Batman: Team, this is Robin.

Green Lantern (Hal Jordan, bored): We know. You introduced him to us a few years ago.

Robin (Jason Todd): That was the other dude, dude. I'm the improvement.

Superman: You're replacing Dick?

Robin: Yup!

Flash: That's... Low, Bruce. Really low. And this kid doesn't really look... Capable? No offense. Dick quit like, what, a few months ago?

Robin: Um, two and a half years ago, thank you very much, and two, I can handle my fuckin' self.

Batman: Language.

Green Lantern (Guy Gardner), sassing: And he swears? This was a downgrade, Bat-boy.

Robin: Okay, fuckin' ouch, dude.

Wonder Woman, walking to Robin: I think he will do a fine job. May I shake your hand, young one?

Robin, internally fanboying: Yes, please!

[ijustliketoreadstuff]

Sass said something very interesting.

Everyone knows that its extremely dangerous to use to many miraculous. When Gabriel overexerts himself with the miraculous in “Evolution”, Sass explains to him that the kwamis need to eat something in order to allow him to continue using their power, if they become to weak then this will continue to effect Gabriel and his power. We know that a kwami can draw energy from an adult holder rather than eat food to sustain themselves, but even the adults need to let the kwamis eat if they have used or are planning to use their power multiple times, like how we saw adult Alix feed Fluff. . 

However, Gabriel now has all kwamis from the box to sustain, he needs to give them food to eat otherwise they draw away to much energy from his body, but in the midst of his battle against Ladybug and Cat Noir and finding yet another opportunity in the past to defeat the two heroes at a weak point in their lives, Gabriel denies them food and tells them he is their master, they have no choice but to continue along with his plans. When Sass sees that Gabriel still wants to continue despite their warning, Sass knows that they cant refuse him since he is fully capable of controlling them and forcing his commands onto them, so instead, Sass quickly tells Gabriel that if he destroys them, then he will in turn destroy himself, meaning that if Gabriel forces them to starve then it will have dyer consequences for all of them. 

Sass’s response brings up a very interesting point, we don’t actually know what will happen to a holder if they try to forcefully use a kwamis power when they have gone beyond their limit of hunger.

We’ve seen that an inexperienced holder, like Chloe, will suffer no side effects if they have no knowledge of the kwamis names and commands. If a holder doesn’t know how to control them to force them to reveal their names and commands, then they cant use their power, sparing them from the backlash of using many miraculous.

Marinette was much more experienced and knew the names and commands of all the kwamis so she was able to wield all the miraculous and use their powers. We see that the miraculous were draining Marinette and according to Master Fu, fusing with that much power was dangerous and could even make her loose her mind. Since Ladybug is not a grown up yet, she was quick to only use a few of the miraculous powers ONCE, within the kwamis limits, so the side effects didn’t cause to much damage to her body and mental health during “Kwamibuster”.

Gabriel knew the kwamis names by either using his control over them to tell things to him, or by reading the translated book he found in Fu’s tablet. An experienced adult holder like Gabriel is also able to withstand the side effects the first time he uses multiple miraculous, just like Ladybug, but when he quickly tries to do it a second time, that’s when he begins to feel his body unable to bare the strain of all the miraculous, it gets worse the third time he does it as the backlash even caused him to lose consciousness temporarily.

We know that if a kwami does not eat on time, it will cause an immediate de-transformation for the holders once their timers are up, more so for  younger holders. However,  even if a kwami reaches its limit, an evil adult holder may be willing to forcefully continue using the power of the miraculous, and even though Gabriel gave into Sass’s reasoning to feed the kwamis, we technically do not know what would happen to a holders body, as well as the miraculous jewels, if the holder continues to repeatedly wear and use multiple miraculous in the same way Gabriel is doing now. Since Gabriel is still planning to use multiple miraculous, we have no idea what kind of backlash his body will face in the future and we especially have no idea what will happen to him if he ever tries to use the powers of a starved kwami, in other words, things are not looking good for Gabriel.

[donut-rambles]

This is such a sweet moment and I love it, but like just imagine Superman’s reaction to Damian.

He goes from being friends with Dick Grayson, the multiverse constant, who was so starkly different from his mentor it was shocking. He’s fun and light and friendly while being an admirable hero and capable leader. And is just a clear indication that, who knew, Batman could bring up a great kid.

Then there’s Jason, the one who probably saw Wonder Woman as peak heroism and had the snark of any city kid. And Tim after who had a computer for a head.

And then he meets Damian, and has no idea why He’s Just Like That™️, he has no idea about the League of Assassins, he’s just this very angry ball of potential murder and extreme sass. And Superman is just staring down at this child who probably has already made several snide remarks about how useless the league is like “Bruce, what the heck did you do with this one???”

[bl-bracket]

Semifinals: Porsche (Kinnporsche: The Series) vs Akk (The Eclipse)

[Submitted Reasons Under Cut]

Porsche: "Sass, snark, and style. Capable and helpless. Absolutely absurd but genuine. Stupidly attractive and knows it. He’s got issues, so many issues, but he’s willing to ignore them. Will only slightly pout when bullied into wearing a mermaid costume. Will not, in fact, be kicked out of bed for leaving crumbs. Gives great head at great heights."

Akk: "Firstly, he’s played by First Kanaphan. A man with enough babygirl energy to defeat an entire nation. Have you seen his little pout? The way he looks so beautiful when he cries makes you want to hug him until you can’t anymore, and oh boy does he cry often. He has too much pressure on him and as a babygirl being forced to make difficult decisions and having to deal with manipulation should be a violation of the Geneva convention. He’s a cutie patootie sweetie pie pathetic meow meow princess babygirl. Him and his big boba ball brown cow babygirl eyes filled with tears against the world. He sits on tables and kicks his feet, him and his bestfriend have gossip sessions where they complain about their bfs. He giggles and teases and pretends to sleep when he’s shy and is just the very definition of a babygirl"

[bbrissonn]

𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞 - 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐡

☆⋆｡°‧★ in which the two teenagers make their feelings about the other clear

☆⋆｡°‧★ will smith x dahlia monroe

☆⋆｡°‧★ wc: 2.5k

☆⋆｡°‧★ au masterlist

it had now been almost week since dahlia and will's pizza dinner. the two freshmen had hung out pretty much everyday since then. meeting in the library right before the boy had to go to practice, meeting for dinner after, and if they were not together, they were always texting.

tonight, the eagles were hosting michigan state. they were playing on a thursday, which dahlia did not really understand since they always played during the weekend. the two had agreed to meet up at a small cafe before will had to start getting ready.

"hey." the boy said, sitting down next to the girl. she had been sitting at a long table against the window, giving her a perfect view of all the trees turning beautiful shades of reds, oranges and yellows. she had been so busy writing down her notes that she had not even noticed the boy walking in.

"hi." she answered with a smile as will handed her a coffee, pressing a small kiss to her temple before letting his eyes look down at her notes.

"what on earth is that?"

"it's for my african world class."

"and you actually understand half the words you're writing down?" the boy asked confused as he started reading her notes. her handwriting was messy, but perfect at the same time.

"yes, william, i do. unlike you, when i go to class, i listen to what my teachers say instead of sleeping and asking someone who's not even in my class for help." the girl sassed, taking her notes away from him.

for the last couple of days, their library meeting had mainly been tutoring sessions for the boy. dahlia was somehow capable of picking up with he was learning for his major quicker than he was. her statement earned her a glare from the boy besides her.

"it's not my fault i got stuck with all the early classes."

"but it is your fault for being tired because you stayed up late."

"i stay up late because of you!" he reasoned, making the girl scoff.

"i'm not forcing you to stay up and talk to me, will. if you're tired just go sleep. i'm not gonna die."

"whatever." the boy mumbled. he turned his body so he was facing the window, a small pout on his face as he crossed him arms over his chest.

"don't pout." dahlia said, poking his check and kissing it. "you're too pretty to pout, willy." she added without realizing what she was saying. will's pout became a smirk as his eyes looked over at hers.

"you think i'm pretty?"

"shut up." the girl blushed, looking away as will let out a chuckle. one of his arm went to the back of her chair as he moved to he was facing her.

"don't be shy now!" he said, his smirk still present on his face. still, the girl did not move or say anything else, making will chuckle slightly. "alright, alright, we'll talk about something else. how was your day?"

"fine." the girl mumbled, her eyes looking up from her lap, but still avoiding the boy's gaze.

"you had your favourite class today, i doubt it was just fine, dahls." the boy pushed, making dahlia roll her eyes while butterflies flew around in her stomach. she loved it when he called her that.

"i got paired for a project with one of the dumbest guy i've ever met. he's so full of himself." the girl complained with an eye roll as her mind went back to the conversation she had with him earlier. he had made it quite clear that he wanted to do the least work possible since he was so busy with lacrosse.

"switch partners?"

"already tried. my professor said if i want to switch i have to find someone who wants to switch. no one wanted to, and i understand why." the girl sighed before sipping on her coffee. it was going to be a long couple of weeks.

"i'm sorry." the boy frowned. he knew dahlia took her studies very seriously, and this guy was clearly not going to be of any help to her.

"don't be. at least we're getting individual grades, so if he does nothing it's going to be his problem. we'll just get a shitty one for the presentation part."

"well, if it makes you feel any better, i'm sure you're gonna get an amazing grade. like always." the boy said with a soft smile, making the girl look over at him with a smile of her own.

"you guys winning would make feel a little better too."

"oh, so now you care about sports?"

"no." the girl laughed. "but if you guys lose again, you'll be all moody like last week and-"

"i wasn't moody!" will exclaimed, cutting the girl off. dahlia let out a giggle as she looked over at him with a shocked expression.

"you totally were! you were frowning the whole night until we got to eat."

"i was hungry." the smith boy said, trying his hardest to defend himself.

"more like hangry." dahlia whispered under he breath, making will send a playful glare her way.

"whatever." he sassed, making dahlia chuckle. "we're winning tonight, i can feel it."

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

dahlia's voice rang loudly in violette's ears had the final buzzer echoed in the forum. the guys had won 6-4 against the spartans, will getting a goal and two assists. the two teens had agreed to meet up at the same spot as they did last time after game, violette sending a wink towards her best friend as the two parted ways.

after almost fourty minutes of waiting, the blond boy eventually appeared. dahlia was quick to make her way to him, a wide grin on her face. she was wearing a plain eagles sweatshirt with a pair of jeans, she looked adorable, but will really wished she was wearing his jersey instead.

the hockey player felt butterflies in his stomach as her arms wrapped around his neck, her giggle echoing in his ear as he picked her up slightly. her perfume was the only thing he could smell, and he was obsessed with it. he did not really know what the sent was exactly, but it was soft and comforting to him.

"you did amazing, oh my god!" she grinned as will put her down, but that did not mean their hug ended. instead, the smith boy brought the girl even closer to him, if that was even possible.

"yeah?"

"yeah! and you guys won!"

"i'm really glad you're here, dahls." the boy whispered after a couple of seconds of silence. dahlia smiled against his neck, her arms holding him even tighter than before. "means a lot."

"you make it to not wanna come, wills. you're amazing, like really amazing." the girl answered, making the boy pull back a bit, but their arms stayed around the other.

"to be honest, i've been trying a lot harder the last couple of games." he said, making dahlia confused.

"why?"

"there's a pretty girl i'm trying to impress." will flirted, leaning his forehead down to meet dahlia's. he had a wide grin on his face as dahlia's eyes avoided his, a deep blush appearing on her cheek.

"yeah?"

"yeah. think it's working?"

"i think... she wants you to kiss her." the girl said, catching both of them off guard. dahlia had never ever said something so straight forward to a guy before, especially not something like this. one of will's hand moved from her waist to her face, cupping her cheek.

"is she sure?" the blond asked, leaning down even further to the point where their lips were inches away.

"100%" she responded, and the next second, will's lips were on hers. dahlia's hand slide down from his neck and down his chest, holding onto his suit vest.

the two teenagers both smiled into the kiss, keeping the other as close as possible, before eventually pulling away slightly to catch their breaths. will was the first to open his eyes, staring down in adoration at the girl who's wide grin, made her whole face glow.

"hi." dahlia giggled once she opened her eyes the find the boy staring at her. will chuckled slightly before reconnecting their lips again, the hand that was on her face going back down to her waist and keeping her close. meanwhile, the girl's hand went back to his neck, pulling him down a little more.

"my parents are waiting." the boy mumbled sadly when they pulled away once again. the girl frowned a bit before cupping both of his cheeks in her hands.

"coffee tomorrow?" she asked, placing a soft kiss to the tip of his nose.

"it's a date." he stated, making the girl raise her brows at him.

"and who decided that?"

"me."

"and what if i don't want it to be a date?" she sassed, making will chuckle a bit.

"then you're lying to yourself, sweetie." he answered with just as much sassed before placing on last kiss on her lips. "text me when you get home."

"call me when you get home?"

"of course."

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

"can i ask you something?" will questioned the next morning. the two were sitting in the same spot as the previous day, but this time no notes were splattered in front of them.

"what's up?"

"you don't have to yes if you don't want to, like i'm not trying to pressure you into doing it if you don't want to, so don't-"

"just ask me, will." the girl cut him off softly, placing a hand on his thigh, making him blush slightly. the boy nodded a bit before finally asking his question.

"can you- do you..." he started, but nothing else came out, making him sigh. dahlia's hand from his thigh to his hand, squeezing it softly to reassure him. "wear my jersey tonight?" he finally asked, his eyes staring into hers.

she was supposed to be happy, jumping in her seat that he asked her to wear his jersey. there were tons of girls on campus who would die to be in her position right now, and she knew that. a hot rookie who was drafted in the nhl? of course everyone knew who he was, which meant almost every girl who dreamed of marrying an athlete was after him.

but for some reason, she felt her stomach drop, and not in the good way. they had barely known each other for a week, and kissed, which dahlia still could not believe she initiated. it was all going so fast.

"i- uh... i appreciate you asking, will, i really do. i just... i think i'm ready for that yet. i mean, i want to, i really do, but i just feel like we're going too fast, will." she explained, her eyes looking down at her lap as her hands meet together, fidgeting with one another. the two sat in silence for almost a whole minute until will placed a hand on her back.

"that's okay. we can slow down, i'm sorry i've been too pushy-"

"you weren't. i promise, i just... i don't know." she sighed looking up from her lap, but still avoiding his gaze.

"talk to me, dahls." will whispered softly, making the girl let out another sigh.

"i've never... i've never really experienced this before. i mean, i've been in a relationship and all that stuff, the guy was an asshole though. he only texted me before we dated, so this stuff is all new to me. and like, i saw everyone at school experiencing it, and i wanted it to be so badly. and it's finally happening to me, and honestly i don't really get why."

"what do you mean?"

"come on, will. you're this bigshot future star and i am just me. i'm gonna my degree and then work for the next i don't how many years. why me?" she explained. when the girl got home the previous night, she could not believed what had happened, nor why it happened. she suddenly found herself growing insecure, she had barely ever gotten attention from guys, and now all of the sudden will could not get enough of her? it just did not make sense in her head.

"what if that's what i like about you? you're just you, dahlia. you have your dreams, and your goals, and you're gonna achieve all of them, i know that. you don't really care about the fact that i'm me, and i love that. i can be just me with you, not will smith the fourth pick, just will. you're the only that's ever made me feel like that." will admitted, his voice low and soft. his words made dahlia look over at him, their eyes locking together.

"i'm glad you feel you that way with me." she smiled, making the boy smile as well. "i like being around you, too. you make feel... special. no one's ever made me feel like that before, it's nice. it's nice that it's you." it was now her turn to admit. even though neither of them had directly said it, it was now clear to the both of them that they liked each other, and the other liked them.

"i'm happy i make you feel that way." will responded, making dahlia bite her lower lips as tons of thoughts ran through her mind. will could tell she was thinking, she always made that same face of centration when trying to figure out something.

"i'll wear your jersey." she stated, making will smiled even wider than before. "under one condition. kiss me." will laughed before leaning in a pressing a kiss to her lips. the two teens had been hesitating since they met up if it should happen or not, neither of them really knowing how the other felt.

but now it was clear. they liked each other, a lot, making this kiss mean so much more than the ones from the previous night. it was soft and gentle, just like voices a couple of minutes ago.

"and a sip of your coffee." the girl added when the two pulled apart. her voice barely being hearable, but will heard every word.

"that's two conditions."

"do you want me to wear the damn jersey or not?" she sassed, and the next thing she knew, will's coffee was in her hands.

"drink away."

[beanghostprincess]

I just saw a post about Buggy and Galdino being a rare pair despite the chemistry and had the wildest concept ever to formulate in my teeny lil peanut brain.

Buggy and Shanks? Yeah, it's complicated, but the answer to if they're together is neither yes nor no, just dreamy sighs (Shanks) and frantically cursing, blushing and rage (Buggy)

Buggy and Gaimon? Long distance situationship built on mutual respect, growing adoration, relatively chaste, all things considered.

Buggy and Galdino became an incidental ship during the Impel Down fiasco. They both would have eagerly and happily sold one another out for a corn chip, but eventually they build a really solid foundation and Buggy falls first buy Gal falls harder. Alvida is sipping her margarita, watching them sass-flirt each other and making disgusting goo-goo eyes. She's debating locking them in a room for them to either get right with their hearts or at the very least, give her a break.

Cross Guild happens, and Buggy is hurt by Galdino flocking back to Crocodile, yeah, but somehow he isn't surprised (self fulfilling destruction his beloved).

Hawkeye is the first to really look at Buggy - he's had to listen to Shanks wax poetic so often that he is still struggling to reconcile the Buggy-As-Described-By-Shanks with this Buggy before him. The math isn't mathing and he's wondering WHY. In doing so, he eventually starts clocking all these little things - Buggy dropping random, highly insightful and sharp comments that would solve a problem at hand succinctly and easily. Buggy is cautious, perhaps in some ways too much so, but he is also alarmingly good at resolving conflicts without... well, conflict. He's capable of manipulation tactics that most would find impossible without conquerors. Conquerors Haki which the clown most definitely does not have. He may... be understanding of where Shanks is coming from.

Crocodile and Daz, meanwhile, are slower to come around. Daz is stoic, uninterested, he does not care. Crocodile becomes... tolerant of Buggy, finding the idiot to be less of a nuisance than originally accounted for. Okay. Sure. Whatever. Then the boss man Notices some things. Galdino specifically. Mr 3 has always been rather mouthy, though much less to him than to his peers. But something about the ways Gal is interacting with the others speaks of more than idle proximity and general surliness. There's familiarity, a spark there, a thoughtlessness to the ways Galdino turns his back to them, trusting of all things. Then he catches a glimpse of Galdino and Buggy after dark, both tired and closer than most would be in that situation, curled together on a couch while Gal tries to convince Buggy to eat, and "no, baby blue, coffee does not count as food - no, I don't care about how many calories it has, you need something not-liquid, okay, damn-"

Buggy is... quiet when he's tired, Crocodile realizes. He takes away many thoughts and realization from viewing that interaction, but that is something that sticks out to him. The clown is so emotive and bombastic, pun unintended, but he... can be quiet.

He's... pretty, when he's quiet.

He swears he will take that thought to his grave.

Upon realizing though, suddenly it's like either the subtle PDA has skyrocketed or he's just hyperaware of it for what it is now. He sees the way Galdino's hand lingers on Buggy's shoulder; the way Buggy fiddles with his fingers before a wax-formed fidget toy is shuffled into his hands. He sees the smiles Gal shoot to Buggy, the quick flashes the clown shoots back in turn; he sees so much, and it's... not bad? But certainly not good.

Then he sees Mihawk slowly falling into the orbit as well. What? No, seriously, what the fuck?? Of all things, that is what sets his nerves on EDGE.

Daz, attuned to his boss as he always is, always will be, notices. He then turns to the source. Romance is not his thing, he is unapologetic about that. It serves no purpose and he himself is certain he is incapable of such feelings. He can identify it in others, obviously, a skill which he has honed in order to identify threats, allegiances, etc. He can see the veritable solar system this clown has amassed. He too can see how his employer is ferociously resisting the pull of it himself.

Daz doesn't get it, not really.

Daz does however get that the clown can, in fact, be rather cute and funny and witty. He also smells like vanilla, lavender, and the afterimage of the circus he so seems to adore. It shouldn't work. It works.

A blade man and an uncuttable man - truly the things they could get up to would be entertaining at the very least.

Crocodile and Mihawk, upon realizing DAZ HIT THAT BEFORE EITHER OF THEM (Croc's in denial still and Mihawk was going for the wine and dine gentlemanly thing with a strict schedule of expectation to allude to on his end for Optimal Performance), are absolutely FLABBERGASTED. Poor Galdino just has to awkwardly debate between patting their shoulders and trembling at the idea of initiating contact with two upset powerhouses. He settles for awkwardly going, "he... does this, sometimes? But he's insatiable, so really you'd be doing all of us a favor if you wanted to do anything too.... maybe.... pleasedon'tkillme-"

Just. Silly awkward hypersexual clown with his polycule having to trade off and also the sillies of Buggy attracting the most emotionally constipated men in the fucking Seas, nobody is straight or neurotypical, it should NOT work out and yet by the power of carnivals, balloon animals and the audacity of a koala on every drug imaginable, they make it work.

The government is having twelve attacks of a variety of natures with every tip about the clown having a new beau. "is he collecting them??? Making a harem armada????? How does that even work, there's so many - wait I don't wanna know-"

I think this might be the best thing I've ever read because ohmygod- Buggy just pulls literally every possible man. Can you even imagine the gossip nights he has with Alvida? That girl is so done with him and yet they still do these things together because he's the most fun around. Alvida doesn't even know how the hell he does these things. He doesn't even know either. You forgot to mention that he might pull literally everyone but he's the biggest failguy ever and if you ask him about his flirting tactics he won't know what to say.

And I agree completely tbh Buggy and Gal should be more of a popular ship. Despite all the scenes they have together I'm still amazed that they don't have many shippers (me included, I mean, you literally just opened my eyes right now).

This clown has the biggest and some-fucking-how most stable polycule in all seas. Everyone just keeps falling for him when they hated his guts at first and he doesn't even realize until they directly tell him because he just assumes everybody wants to kill him or use him or whatever- But suddenly he has a whole harem and he can't even believe it. You know who can't believe it? Alvida. Biggest Buggy supporter but also the biggest Buggy hater. MLM/WLW solidarity but she won't hesitate to also talk shit about him. How beautiful.

I think the marines have a bet going on tbh. Like a Bingo for Buggy's polycule. They just keep asking themselves who's gonna be next. That's what they do on their breaks.