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#how can someone be this futile. enjoy your futile life then
imaginesbymonika · 2 days
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Futile Devices | Part 2
Pairing: Noel Gallagher x childhood-best friend!reader
Plot: There's nothing quite like realizing your feelings once it's too late. But what would life be without a speck of hope?
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(1990)
You always loathed clubbing. There was just something about the combination of a crowded space with loud music and the heinous smell of alcohol mixed with puke that sickened you to the bone. And you didn’t understand why it didn’t disgust most people. Your best friend Noel, happened to be one of those.
“Well, you do like going to concerts.”, he argued, observing your every move while getting dressed. You had no idea when this ritual of getting ready together started, but you didn’t really mind it. A soft sigh left your lips:” That’s just different. I go to concerts where I enjoy the music. I get what I paid for.” He only nodded.
You swallow (more than) thickly, while you make your way through the crowd towards the club toilet. The impulse to vomit just got too much. Not because you’re intoxicated, but because someone who stood very close to you puked right in front of your feet. The light at the end of the tunnel (which in this case happened to be pink and purple) came into sight and you let out a relieved sigh. However when someone grasps you by your upper arm you almost fall to your knees.
You instantly turn your head after managing to stabilize yourself and make eye contact with a very, very drunk man. Fear builds itself up in your stomach while you realize that his head is coming closer. You desperately want to take a step back, however, when your bare back comes into contact with the stony wall your eyes widen. You’re trapped, while his fingers dig themselves into the flesh of your arm.
“Oi. Sweetheart.”
For a second you consider vomiting into his face, however, before you can do anything there’s a fist colliding with his cheekbone. A small shriek escapes your lips while Noel steps into view. “You twat!”, he shouts over the unbelievably loud music:” I am going to kill you.” There’s something in his eyes that implies, that he might actually do it, considering the smell of alcohol that envelops him like an aura field.
„Noel!“, you say, clearly your throat before repeating it louder. He stares down at the man, who is sitting on the floor holding a tooth in between his fingers:“ If you touch her again, I swear to God I will kill ya.“ Whenever he got angry, his accent came out. And right now his accent has never been denser. „Let’s leave, Noel.“, your hand moves up to softly shake his shoulder and it’s only when you two finally make eye contact that his gaze softens. He nods. You quickly take his hand before guiding him through the mass towards the exit.
As soon as the big metal door falls shut behind you, you can hear his soft and husky voice:” Are you okay?” His hand is still in yours, holding on to it tightly, while his gaze roams your features - revealing nothing but genuine concern layered with something more. You can only nod before you let go of him to take your pack of cigarettes out of your purse. Out of the corner of your eye, you can catch a glimpse of how he looks down at his now empty hand.
With slightly shaky hands you place one cigarette in between your lips. “Y/N.”, he suddenly lets out:” I’m sorry. I should’ve been there to protect you.”
“But you did.” “Not quick enough.”
A sigh leaves your lips. “You know, I am always-.”, he stops talking and his eyes anxiously roam the street, it’s almost as if he’s attempting to figure out what he wants to say:” I’m always looking out for you, I just want you to know that.”
You nod and he mirrors it. “Thank you.”
“Of course. Want to go home?”
“Yes, please.”
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hiiragikirai · 1 year
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missing this one guy so much even though he was so bad to me -.-
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jamminvroomvroom · 11 months
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big dad vibes.
dad!ln x fem!reader
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in which lando becomes a dad, and a series of moments that follow
back with more brainrot! this time it’s for dad!lando bc the baby fever is fevering and lando just had to go and talk about having kids on that podcast. my first time using social media elements as well so i hope you enjoy! ALSO! huge thank you for 3k, love you all and i cannot thank you enough for your support! 💘
warnings: minors pls dni with my work! mentions of pregnancy, children, minor angst, super duper fluff, suggestive jokes here and there, dilf!lando
1. the birth
lando’s legs couldn’t have carried him any faster than they already were. the hospital rooms disappeared past in a flash, his eyes scanning the hallways for one door. everything he’d ever wanted waited for him on the other side of that one door.
it was typical, really, that the one time he’d left your side since the season ended, you went into labour. he’d begdrudgingly listened when you told him to go to his meeting, despite the feeling in his gut that told him not to. lando knew, now, that his instincts were right.
the second he’d seen your face flash up on his phone, he was out of the conference room. you wouldn’t have called him unless it was an emergency. everything seemed to be moving in slow motion when he put the phone down, but then he was sprinting, through the double doors before him, past the line of cars, and out towards his car, speeding away from the MTC. the traffic fine he knew he was in for was worth it.
your words rang in his ears.
“lando… it’s time.” you’d breathed down the phone, accompanied by a shaky laugh.
and now he was looking at the door. it opened, slowly, and there you were, draped in a hospital gown, tired eyes bloodshot and soft. you were smiling, crying, and he fell to his knees before you.
“someone wants to meet you.” you cooed, and then he was crying too.
lando squeezed your knee, trying to pull himself together but it was futile. the most precious ray of light stirred in your arms, how would he ever be able to stop crying? you’d created that, you and him, and now she was here.
“can i…?” lando stood from where he was worshipping you, hoodie sleeve mopping up his tears.
“take all that off.” you replied.
“trying to get me naked already? i thought it would be at least six weeks-“ he teased.
“no, you sod. skin on skin contact.” you groaned, grinning helplessly at the man that had made you a mother.
he laughed along with you quietly, stripping the layers and sitting beside you on the hospital bed. you searched his excited eyes, melting as you placed your little girl in his awaiting arms.
and then he was falling in love.
the winter sunlight streamed through the window, a soft glow encapsulating your little family. lando sat next to you in dead silence, counting ten little fingers, ten little toes, memorising the dimpled curve of two lips, the crease between two softly shut eyes. his heart was bursting in a way it never had before, a new lease of life breathed into his body that fulfilled him more than anything ever had.
“are you okay, baby? i’m so sorry i wasn’t here.” lando mumbled, kissing your shoulder. he looked up at you, scanning your tired face, knowing that you’d never looked so beautiful. you cupped his cheek, pressing your forehead against his.
“the pain was worth it.” you quirked your lips, tilting your head so that you could kiss him. you felt his fresh tears wetting your cheeks, and you smiled into the kiss.
“i got here as quick as i could, i’m so sorry i wasn’t here to hold your hand.” lando was heartbroken to have missed the birth of his first child, guilty even, but you wouldn’t let that feeling linger.
“i’m just happy that you’re here now, i promise. we’ve gotta name this little love.” you pecked his lips again, cuddling into his side.
you’d been backwards and forwards on names for months, never landing on anything that seemed to fit. you’d read countless lists of names, brainstormed names of people you loved, but you just couldn’t agree.
“can we talk about it later? just wanna look at her for a bit longer. like, forever.” lando mumbled, and as if she recognised her daddy’s voice, your baby’s grey blue eyes fluttered open.
“oh.” he gasped.
you watched in pure adoration as they stared at each other, neither of them willing to look away first. a bond was forming before your eyes, and you felt like the earth was moving under your feet.
lando knew, staring into big blue eyes, that nothing would ever be the same again.
landonorris via instagram
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landonorris: welcome to the world, the one and only matilda norris ❤️
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2. the race
“lando, you cannot take her into the bloody media pen!” you scolded, ignoring the bark of a laugh he let out in response.
you were midway through changing matilda’s nappy, dressing her in the tiny mclaren t-shirt that the team had gifted you when you welcomed her to the world.
she was nearly six months old now, with the cutest smile and a laugh that could bring an entire room to tears. you were at your home in monaco, preparing to descend down the hills towards the marina where the race would be. this would be her first race weekend, and lando couldn’t have been more excited for her to make her debut at the track.
he also couldn’t have been more nervous.
the idea of putting your baby into such a hectic environment made lando sweat, which was why you’d left it until monaco, so that you had a home base to sneak away to if it all got too much.
“are you nearly ready to go, baby?” lando came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. he was peering over your shoulder, gazing at the giggling baby on her changing mat. “and what about you, matty? you ready to watch daddy drive?”
“i’m sure you’ll have her undivided attention.” you joked, turning your head to kiss his jaw. “can you put her in the car?”
lando scooped up his daughter, placing her gently into the baby carrier. you grabbed the changing bag and followed him out of the apartment, smiling hard at the quiet nursery rhyme he was singing. you locked up and trailed behind the duo, watching intently as he secured matilda’s car seat.
“see something you like?”lando called behind him, shaking his ass at you cheekily.
“you know i do, that’s how i got pregnant.” you stuck your tongue out at him.
-
the entire weekend was hectic, lando having the time of his life. he’d put his mclaren on the front row, the race flying by where he claimed second place and a rightful spot of the podium. you’d kissed him hard, matilda’s grabby hands tugging at his curls when he’d dipped down to press his lips to yours. he smirked, scheming something, and then he took the infant from under your arm, whisking her over to his interview.
“lando norris, what a race that was for you!” jenson button bellowed into the mic. “and it looks like you’ve been busy off track, too! who’s this little one?”
“the one and only matilda norris.” lando replied, pearly whites on display. he’d never looked happier, and you could feel your eyes welling with tears. lando grabbed her little hand softly, making her wave at the camera. “proud of daddy, matty?” he cooed, and you were a wreck.
landonorris via instagram
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landonorris: matty’s first race 🏎️ 🧡
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3. that time matilda crawled
“babe!” lando’s voice echoed through the house, up into your bedroom. you were fresh out of the shower, wringing your hair dry with a towel, nearly jumping out of your skin when he called.
“what is it, honey?” you shouted back, grabbing your (his) robe from the back of the door.
“you gotta come see this.” he sounded giddy and you bounded down the stairs, speeding into the living room.
“what’s going on?” you asked him, watching him practically jumping up and down with excitement.
“matty crawled.” lando beamed.
your eyes flitted to your daughter, sat quite casually on her play-mat.
“uh…” you said slowly. you wanted to believe him, but the evidence was not lining up. she was getting closer each day, but still seemed to be a tad far off of going the full stretch.
“she did! i swear!” he turned his attention back to matilda, dropping to the floor beside her. “c’mon matty, show mummy! i know you can do it, sweetie.” lando cooed.
“can i finish getting ready?”
“baby, she’s gonna do it again and you’re gonna miss it!”
“okay, just shout if she starts spitting bars.” you teased, turning to leave.
lando was pouting, but as if she sensed her fathers frustration, matilda had a point to prove. she pushed herself up from her tummy, fighting her way towards you.
“oh, my love.” you cooed, hand splayed over your mouth. she was growing up way too fast, but that was eclipsed by the pride bubbling hot in your chest.
“see?” lando pulled you into his side, gleeful. you moulded into him, lip quivering as you watched her wriggle around. “oh, baby, don’t cry.” he pressed a kiss to your hairline.
“happy tears, i promise.”
“she’s so clever, just like her mama.”
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5. the backlash
the clips circulating online made you feel ill.
lando had just done another podcast, and the topic of his family had come up. they’d set the trap, and he’d fallen right into it, pressuring him about how he approached racing and being a father. he’d tried, bless him, but the way they’d cut the interview made it look like little matty played second fiddle to daddy’s racing car.
you’d been in the studio while your baby slept peacefully beside you, you knew exactly what he’d said, and now the tweets circulating about your boyfriend made you want to scream.
you were no stranger to the occasional landogate, but he’d gotten a lot better over the years. lando didn’t care much for the way the media twisted his words anymore, but when it came to his family, his flesh and blood, he quite simply couldn’t take it.
lando hadn’t come out of his gaming room all day. you’d let him marinate for a few hours, but you hadn’t seen him in too long, and you were starting to panic. matty kept spitting out little strings of words, dadadada spluttering out her little mouth. she wanted him, and you needed him, so you swept her up in your arms and carried her up the stairs.
you tapped on the door, pushing it open before you got a response. he was slumped in his gaming chair, hood up, spinning around aimlessly. he looked so deflated, staring at nothing, manufactured guilt eating him up.
“hey, honey. matty wants her daddy.” you called softly, wading into the room. lando sighed, but took her out of your arms immediately.
“better take what i can get, before she realises what a terrible father i am.” he mumbled sarcastically.
“hey, no. don’t do that, lando. don’t fall into this mindset. you and i both know that you’re a fucking amazing father.” you wagged your finger at him as you spoke. he just slumped further into his seat, letting matty pull at the drawstrings of his hoodie.
“maybe they’re right, though. i was always so scared of this part. what if she grows up and is ashamed of me?” he whispered, eyes honing in on his daughter.
“oh, baby.” it physically hurt you to see him so down on himself. you were ready to burn twitter to the fucking ground. “you’re the best father i could have wished for. she’s literally a little lando! god, honey, she loves you so much. and of course she would - you’re her whole world.”
“when she won’t sleep with me, ten seconds in your arms, and she conked out. when she’s bored, she only wants her dad. don’t even get me started on that annoying stubborn streak she’s showing. lando, she could never be ashamed of you. she is you.” you continued.
lando sighed shakily, pressing a kiss to matty’s forehead before placing her carefully on the ground. some of her toys were scattered there, so she made a beeline for her orange teddy, without a care in the world for you and lando. he spread his arms for you, ushering you in and you sat on his lap, cuddling into him.
“i love you, baby. you don’t know how thankful i am that you gave me this life.” he said into your chest, kissing right over your heart.
you knew everything would be okay, anyone with eyes could see how much he adored his little girl. and anyway, it didn’t matter what anyone else thought; all that mattered was that you had each other, and that was more than enough for lando.
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5. matty’s first birthday!
your house was full of laughter, shades of pink, purple and yellow decorating every surface. balloons covered the ceiling, a big 1 taking up half your kitchen. and in the middle of all the colourful chaos, your boyfriend held your one year old daughter, bouncing her on his knee.
they were a picture, a truly stunning one, two identical sets of eyes crinkling at the corners while they laughed together. your heart was bursting, nothing able to contain the butterflies in your stomach as you watched the two greatest loves of your life.
stuffed toys and little pairs of shoes covered every surface, wrapped up with big ribbons. all of your favourite people were in one room, your families coming together with all of your friends to celebrate 365 days of matilda.
matty had spent her day playing with sylvie, george’s young daughter, while lando took photos from every angle humanly possible. then there was the cake, which lando had let the little girl smash all over her face. you’d scold him later, the moment was far too precious.
you were caught up watching lando play with matilda, when max came up to you.
“never seen him happier.” max beamed, pulling you into a side hug. you ruffled his hair in response.
“can’t believe we made her.” you muttered, head falling against his shoulder. you were awestruck.
“when are you having another one? he’s gagging for it.” max was joking with you, but the look you gave him made him do a double, triple, quadruple take. you were smirking. “wait… wait what?”
“sooner than you might think.” you patted your tummy slyly. “he doesn’t know yet, i only just found out last night. wanted matty to have her day and then i’ll tell him when she’s gone to sleep.”
max was staring at you, bewildered. you may have even seen a tear in his eye.
“oh, i love you guys. so fucking happy for you.” he whispered.
you caught sight of lando watching, his head tilted in confusion. you just winked at him.
-
“she went down easy. think today really took it out of her.” lando said as he walked into your bedroom. you were sat waiting for him, hands resting behind your back.
“thank you for today, it was perfect.” you beamed when he leaned down to kiss you.
you watched him get ready for bed, stripping down to just his sweats, and then he joined you, lounging across the foot of the bed.
“hey, what were you talking to max about, babe?” lando asked.
“a gift that i got you.” you replied coyly.
“a gift?” lando looked confused, and the confusion only grew when you pulled your hands from behind your back, placing a little gift bag in front of him.
“yep. hope you like it.” you kept your expression neutral.
he picked up the bag, rustling through the tissue paper, and then he found it.
a little white stick.
lando stared blankly, eyes flitting rapidly between your face and the pregnancy test in his hand.
“baby…” he started, but he lost his train of thought. instead, he launched himself at you, cuddling you into the mattress. you were laughing while he pressed his lips all over your face, your neck, ending with your belly.
“good gift?” you giggled, watching as his hand smoothed over the soft skin of your tummy.
“the fucking best.”
landonorris and youruser via instagram
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landonorris: for matty’s first birthday, we’re giving her a sibling 🫶
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6. family sized
lando norris, father of two, reporting for duty.
leo norris was born under the english sun, the late august heat making your labour a difficult one.
from the minute he was born, leo had a personality, angry, passionate eyes glaring at you and lando, a cry tearing from him that could end wars. he was gonna be a force, that little boy, not that you were complaining.
lando had fallen in love again, only having a few days to adjust before he was racing around europe, but he always found a way to slip into bed with you in the early hours of monday mornings, leo sprawled across his tanned chest. he’d watch the two of you sleep, listening out for matty down the hall.
and then she’d wake up, and lando would lay leo by your side, padding next door to your daughters bedroom. the pitter patter of her little feet and lando’s big laugh would wake you up. mornings were the best part of your day, all four of you tucked up in bed together before the chaos began.
it was hard sometimes, but life was bliss. you had the most wonderful partner, two gorgeous children, happiness that you couldn’t have ever fathomed right at your fingertips.
lando finally realised how big the world was, now that his family was often on the other side of it. he ached every second his heart was away from his kids but watching them grow, getting to see them smile, matilda clinging to his legs the second he came home, made it all worth it.
and god, coming home to you, whether you were waiting with open arms at the door or tucked up in white linen bedsheets in one of his t-shirts, was fucking delightful. you were his person, the one that gave him a reason to get up and smile, and he’d do quite possibly anything to keep you happy until you were old and grey by his side.
“matty, what do you say when we say goodbye to chat?” lando asked his little girl.
he was wrapping up a stream, matilda finding her rightful place as his new cohost - max was hardly coping with being replaced but that was a separate issue.
lando bowed his head, looking at matty encouragingly and she beamed hard at the screen. she was two years old, with the bubbliest personality and the brightest eyes in the entire world.
“gg boys.” she grinned toothily at the camera, and lando’s squawk of a laugh summoned you into the room.
lando was logging off when you walked in, watching from the doorway. leo was down for his nap, and matty was soon due hers.
“what are you two getting up to?” you chimed in, leaning into the wall.
“matty’s gonna be a gamer.” lando said in his sing-song voice, the one he reserved for when one of his kids did something that made his eyes sparkle.
“no call of duty.” you said sternly, looking at him pointedly.
“don’t worry, baby. f1 game only, she’s gonna be a racing driver.”
“just like her daddy.” you whispered, watching the duo high five in their matching hoodies.
landonorris via instagram
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landonorris: @/mclaren i’m gonna need a bigger car
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youruser via instagram
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youruser: big dad vibes 💘
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7. long time coming
lando held his son tight, watching you and matty examine tiny sea shells in the little rock pools that were forming. the sun was setting over the monegasque beach, beams of pink and orange light bathing your family as it bounced off the soft waves.
leo was wriggling in lando’s arms, the two year old boy desperate to join his mother and his sister splashing around in the shallows, but lando kept a hold of him. leo was too mischievous for his own good, cheekier than the average two year old. perhaps it had something to do with who his father was.
“daddy, come look.” matty called, so lando waded into the water, ankle deep. that little girl had him wrapped around her finger. he cast his eyes over matilda’s inquisitive face, glancing at you for just a second, and that’s all it took for you to steal the air from his lungs.
you were more radiant than ever, as beautiful as the day he’d met you and fallen so helplessly in love. he hadn’t stopped falling in love since. you’d made him a father, you’d given him a family, you’d taught him what it was to be truly, unequivocally happy.
and now all you had to say was yes.
“that’s lovely, sweetie.” lando cooed at matty, eyeing the handful of seashells she’d collected. “wanna go play on the sand? we have that gift to give mummy.” lando winked at the little girl, who took off running, splashing sea water over you both.
once she was out of earshot, you turned to lando.
“you’re not pregnant, are you?” you teased, thinking back to the gift you’d given him those years ago, who was now tucked sleepily into lando’s chest.
“how did you know?” lando joked back.
he grabbed your hand, toes sinking into the sand as you made your way towards matty, who was fidgeting on the picnic blanket you’d laid out earlier. as soon as you reached her, lando gave her the sly nod, the signal that he’d taught her over the last few days, and her sweet little voice called out to you.
“mummy?”
“yes, my love?” you kneeled down on the blanket, eye level with your daughter.
“daddy wants to ask you something.” her doe blue eyes twinkled in the setting sun, and you whipped your head around to look at lando.
lando, who was down on one knee, balancing his son in one hand and the biggest fucking diamond ring you’d ever seen in the other.
“should’ve done this about four years ago, but we were busy popping out kids.” lando breathed, his eyes watery. you were already in tears. “my love, where do i even begin? i’m nothing without you, and every time i leave you, i leave my entire heart behind, so please, will you marry me?”
tears streamed down your face, and lando sat the squirmy toddler down next to his sister, who was bouncing on the balls of her feet.
you surged forward, the force of your movement leaving you both in the sand. you clung to him, lips meeting his with sweet urgency. you mumbled a million yes’s into the kiss, no one left in the world but you and him, and your two beautiful children.
and when you pulled away, you scooped your babies into your arms, holding them tight, knowing that you were in the presence of the purest form of love.
your little family, complete…
…for now.
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youruser: family day out 🥹🫠❤️‍🔥
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i don’t know how to write fluff lol
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taglist
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samara444 · 2 months
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everything i learnt during my break (ie all you need to know about manifesting)
hi guys, i took a months long break from tumblr. i used to be depressed, suicidal, constantly looking for results, having only failures, whining, being affected by the 3d every turn, crying almost everyday, to now not being affected by the 3d at ALLL, knowing my true power, and having it all easily conform in the 3d, i dont have anxiety/depression anymore and i feel so blessed, now i literally cry happy tears.
i used to be someone who used to spend my whole day on here, morning to night, looking for answers and the final "key" to manifesting/shifting, taking a break was much needed. here are the things i finally learned after so long.
dont be double minded // i would like to start by saying, see its a choice. we have 2 very distinct sides in this world, one full of lack, negativity, failures, sadness, losing, wishing, wanting....and the other of fulfillment, belief, positivity, determination, persisting, having, being, awareness etc. and whatever we choose, stick by it. i see so many people complaining and trying to say manif/shifting isnt real, and yes thats true FOR YOU in your reality. whatever you have choosen, a life of suffering or one of happiness through the law, please stick to it. if you want to say the law doesnt work, great, but if you have even a slight hope that its true and real, then give it a shot, and dont doubt, and with faith watch how it changes your life.
no circumstance can stop you // be it time, or the past, or trauma, every condition and circumstance only exist because we identify with it. the difference between a broke guy working a 9 to 5 that they hate, no purpose in life, debt and all relationships failing and a multimillionare, who doesnt have to work a single day in their life, life full of luxury and happiness, people who love them etc who probably doesnt even deserve their money but still gets to enjoy it, is simply their beliefs. believe better for yourself.
thinking from your desire and not of it // wishing and wanting and creating up fake scenarios is very different from knowing you HAVE your desire rn. the former is daydreaming, the latter is creation. you can waste years of your life thinking you're manifesting but its just us THINKING OFFF our desire. the results only show up when we HAVE right now. not to get, not to change the 3d but haveeee right now.
imagination is the only reality // we live in a multiverse, idc if people believe in that or not because its true for me, and every possible circumstance is possible and already created. already done. all our job is to HAVE it, and to CHOOSE to live in the state of having. and being fulfilled in our imagination instead of looking for in the 3d. if we look now we'll forever be looking, but when we close our eyes and know its done because our minds is the true consciousness, thats when it actually shows up.
stop manifesting with the intent of changing the 3d // physically trying to change the 3d is so hard, its so tiresome, its futile and useless, but being fulfilled and in the present moment, not worrying about the past or the future. just focusing on staying in the state of the wish fulfilled with our eyes closed is the key, dont worry about what you see with your eyes open. the 4d is the creator, the 3d will AUTOMATICALLY follow.
stop overconsuming/more techniques and enjoy life // you know already what you have to do. most of us know that living in the end means being the person who already has it. so does your dream ideal self do a million techniques trying to get? does you ideal self spend their whole day scrolling on tumblr looking for another technique? another magic affirmation? subliminal? post? that will fix it all? no. they enjoy their lives knowing its done. their wish is in the greatest hands and its all done. so really, stoppp STOP with the overconsumption, trust that you know everything that you are supposed to. everything is within you. stop searching for it outside.
i yap a lot. i love to write so dont blame me, but i wont make this post too long, my dms are always open for help/ or to make friends. ily guys, i feel so happy now being on tumblr, i used to read others success stories and now i have my own hehe so yes slay. bye
-love, sam <3
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avelera · 2 years
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Was thinking about how Hob and Dream could both be insufferable in some way because, in fairness, Hob comes across as someone who could make friends with bread if left in a room with it long enough.
Then I had a thought:
What if Hob Gadling is just super fucking insufferable to other immortals?
See, Dream is... difficult for mortals to get because he's got his whole eldritch thing going on. But while he's not particularly popular with them, I imagine other immortals at least get and respect his whole deal. Like, he's the Dreamlord. Of course he's weird. But they understand the laws and principles he's referring to at least when he's being weird. He seems to at least have a pleasant relationship with the Faerie Court. It's mortals who can't really connect with Dream and find him exasperating as a result.
Whereas Hob gets along great with mortals, just swell. He's Just A Guy who happens to live forever and people get along with him. But immortals? We don't really see it much but immortals positively loathe this guy.
Dream's reaction to the whole, "I've made up my mind, I've decided not to die!"? Hob tossed out in 1389? That's the teeth-grinding level of irritation Hob engenders in every immortal he comes across (before they have centuries to get to know him) and it is exactly why Death just had to make this man immortal because it would be hilarious.
Why doesn't Hob hang out with other immortals besides Dream? Because the minute he opens his mouth about how great life is and how he's never had even a moment's doubt about how much he wants to live, every immortal in the room starts to make the gagging motion.
You're an immortal just trying to have a bit of a kvetch about Kids These Days and how much times have changed and how it was better in your day, and there's Hob fucking Gadling again ready to throw down about how amazing antibiotics and automobiles and the latest iPhone number whatever are and like, sure, but you were just trying to say back in your day things were better, right? Not objectively maybe but you're just trying to indulge in a bit of immortal nostalgia and Hob fucking Gadling is not having any of it and is ready to argue you into the dirt about it.
You're immortal but haven't quite kept up on today's slang? Hob Gadling will absolutely call you out and he's a teacher now so he's going to be super nice about it but you know he's judging you for saying groovy unironically and thinks you should get with the times already.
You're a vampire living off centuries of generational wealth? Hob keeps talking about how you should get a job and get out of the spooky mansion more, and maybe you wouldn't feel so much existential angst. You like your existential angst!
Hob doesn't have a single ounce of patience for immortals who want to wax poetic about wishing they were mortal again. Diseases, he says, have you ever had diseases? Like even a cold? It sucks. It really fucking sucks. The Plague? The fucking worst. You don't need to be mortal to get involved in mortal life, Hob fucking Gadling keeps pointing out at the monthly eldritch coffee meetups. You can just live as a mortal and share in their problems and enjoy the fact you don't have to deal with the shit parts like getting sick. Completely missing the point of the futile lamentation of regretting one's lost mortality is something you enjoy.
Hob harshes the vibe of every single immortal out there. They are so goddamn sick of him. There's a reason he has no apparent immortal friends or connections to the supernatural world despite (in the comics) seeming to have met other immortals and having the occasional supernatural encounter that he immediately brushes off as dull when compared to what the normal, every day world has to offer.
No other immortal can fucking figure out what Dream of the Endless sees in this guy, and how he can stand to talk to him even once a century without storming off (which, in fairness, Dream has done on 2/7 occasions). Dream, not otherwise known for his patience, is seen as a saint in the eldritch community for even spending as much time as he has over the course of 600+ years with Hob fucking Gadling.
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littlenightma · 8 months
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Hello. I hope this request is not strange. Can you write a Yandere Jeeper Creepers headcanon?
Yandere!Jeepers Creepers Headcanons (NSFW)
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• Your scent was intoxicating and it called to him like a siren’s song. He drops his latest kill to the ground. He had to find the source of the delicious smell or he was going to go insane. As he searches, he is bombarded with an assemblage of differentiating scents, but none of them are yours. Where are you, sneaky human? He flaps his wings harder until he is nothing but an unrecognizable blur in the sky.
• And there you are, pinned beneath him, screaming and squirming. Talons dig into your skin. Muscles ripple beneath your hands as you futilely try to pry away. He trails his nose everywhere, sniffing and scanning, searching for something. You think, this is it. This thing is going to rip me to shreds. He finally comes to a stop between your legs. Ah, there it is. To your horror he buries his face there and inhales deeply and rises with a toothy grin. He is going to enjoy you.
• Unfortunately for you, Creepers mate for life, so unless something terrible happens and you die, you’re stuck with him forever. Mating lets him to bypass the 23 year hibernation cycle, too, so yeah, until you die, you belong to the Creeper.
• There’s no use in running. He can track you from miles away and will find you every time. Not to mention he will be very displeased and will rip whoever helps you apart. All those times he allowed you to leave the den for a few hours are long gone.
• Creeper doesn’t talk much — and it depends on if he has vocal cords on him at the time — but every now and again he calls you different pet names from little human, pretty pet, or a simple mate/pup because he senses how you like it. His main form of communication is through body language or vocalization. When he growls you know you’re in trouble or when he tenses and his ears perk, it means there is someone or something nearby and you are expected to hide until it’s safe to come out.
• You do most of the talking because of this. Whenever he brings home bodies to “work on”, he listens to you ramble about different things: the weather, politics, or the new tv show you’ve been watching. He doesn’t understand a lot of it like why humans feel the need to buy their food when there was a plenty of animals to be hunted or why there were some who refused to eat meat altogether, but it doesn’t matter to him as long as he gets to hear your voice.
• Very territorial. Does not like when males of any species get close to you. Human, feline, canine, it doesn’t matter, however humans can get you pregnant and if that were to happen, he’d have no choice but to kill the offspring. No mate of his was going to bear any children that didn’t belong to him.
• Will scent and mark you to let others know you are already claimed. If anyone wants to fight for the right to have you, they can certainly try, but you know what’s going to happen, right? It’s not going to end well for them.
• You know who is in charge here, don’t you? You humans deemed yourselves the apex predators, top of the food chain, but it’s certainly not him rolled onto his back and displaying his belly in a show of submission. Such a good little pet you are.
• You’re unprepared for when he knots you the first time. Your initial reaction is to move away, however the knot is connecting you to him and will not budge, causing pain. You have no choice but to lay there and allow it to lodge itself further inside you. It’s intense, the feeling of his knot invading you, stretching you more than his monstrous cock did. You can’t believe you’re being fucked like an animal in the literal sense and how it’s even remotely possible for your human body to be adjusting so well. Wasn’t your body supposed to instinctively push out anything foreign? So why was your body greedily sucking him in and why was it starting to feel so good? Oh…
• When you’re on your period, it sends him into a state of frenzy and he will not leave you alone. The combination of your blood mixed with your pheromones are begging him to breed you. While it is impossible for him to impregnate humans, you’re still going to be put on your hands and knees, ass up and ready so he can fuck you all night long.
• And when I say all night long — I mean it. There are no breaks, no time outs, no breathers for you to take. It’s just him pounding into you relentlessly until his knot forms then it’s rinse and repeat. It’s messy, it’s sticky, and the more you cry out, the harder he goes. If you reach behind and grab his hips, pulling him close because you’re needing more is exactly how he wants you; a pleading, blood-soaked, cock drunken mess. You will never have to worry about having cramps again because he will fuck them right out of you.
• Loves to play fight. One because he wants you to learn how to properly pounce and pin prey to the ground. The more you learn to give into your own primal instincts that humans have all but lost long ago and learn to protect yourself when he isn’t around, the less he has to worry. Two, because of the social aspect of it. He likes spending time with his human and enjoys when you try your best to get the upper hand. Sometimes he will let you win, but there’s no changing the dynamics here. He will always play the dominate role.
• Takes you on impromptu flying trips. At first you were too scared to open your eyes to even look at anything and he has to jostle you until you do. It’s scary to know you’re that high in the air, but the fear eventually gives way and you begin to enjoy the wind blowing in your face.
• On those rare occasions when the Creeper isn’t out and prowling for himself, he rests you on top of his chest and cocoons you within his wings, locking them tight. He hums an old tune while scratching your back with his claws and eventually you are lulled to sleep, dreaming of a winged creature who has turned your life upside down.
• But maybe not for the worst.
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bitchiswild · 7 months
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Distracted | Purinz
G!P Yunjin x G!P Chaewon x F! Reader Word Count: 3.5k Warnings: threesome,face fucking, cream pie, etc. A/n: First time writing a threesome tell me how it is😊 REQUESTED
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"Y/n, can you please pay attention? I'm not enjoying this any more than you are, but we really need to finish this," Yunjin said, annoyed, glancing up from her laptop to see you squirming in your seat.
"Yeah, Y/n, listen to the nerd. Let's just get this over with," Chaewon added with a scoff, her arms crossed as she slouched in her chair with her legs spread out.
Your head snapped towards them with a glare, muttering under your breath in frustration as you turned your attention back to your part of the project. The three of you were gathered at Chaewon's house to work on the project together. You and Chaewon had never gotten along. Ever since your mutual friend/ teammate Kazuha introduced you to her, the popular girl, and you, the captain of the soccer (football) team, there had been tension. The two of you constantly got on each other's nerves.
Yunjin, on the other hand, was a different story. She was practically a loner, not having many friends and always focusing on her studies. She was what some might call a "nerd," always engrossed in nerdy activities.
As the evening wore on, the atmosphere in Chaewon's living room grew increasingly tense. Despite the shared goal of completing the project, the underlying animosity between you and Chaewon continued to simmer beneath the surface.
Yunjin, sensing the growing tension, tried to mediate. "Alright, guys, let's try to focus and work together," she said, attempting to steer the conversation back to the task at hand.
But Chaewon couldn't resist taking a jab at you. "Yeah, Y/n, try not to mess this up like you always do on the field," she remarked with a smirk.
Your temper flared, and you shot back, "At least I contribute something other than empty popularity."
Yunjin sighed, recognizing the futility of trying to defuse the situation. She returned to her laptop, quietly typing away, determined to finish her portion of the project despite the brewing conflict.
The tension between you and Chaewon escalated with every passing moment. Each word exchanged felt like a verbal jab, intensifying the animosity that had long simmered between you.
In a moment of frustration, Chaewon leaned in closer, her voice dripping with disdain. "You know, Y/n, maybe if you focused less on sports and more on actually using your brain, you wouldn't always be at the bottom of the class," she sneered.
Your jaw clenched as you fought to maintain your composure, but the comment struck a nerve. "And maybe if you weren't so obsessed with being the center of attention, you'd realize there's more to life than popularity," you retorted, your tone sharp with anger.
The room fell silent for a tense moment, the air thick with unresolved tension. But then, unexpectedly, Chaewon's expression shifted, a mischievous glint dancing in her eyes.
"You know, Y/n," she said, her voice lowering to a husky whisper, "for someone who talks a big game, you sure seem to have a lot of pent-up frustration."
Your heart skipped a beat as her words hung in the air, the tension between you suddenly taking on a different, more charged quality. It was as if a switch had been flipped, the animosity giving way to something altogether more primal.
Caught off guard by the sudden shift in dynamics, you found yourself unable to tear your gaze away from Chaewon's, the air crackling with an unspoken challenge.
Yunjin glanced up from her laptop, startled by the sudden change in atmosphere. Her eyes widened as she watched Chaewon saunter towards you with deliberate steps, her movements oozing confidence and a hint of something darker. It was as if Chaewon had transformed into a predator, and you were her unsuspecting prey.
Chaewon's gaze bore into yours with an intensity that sent a shiver down your spine. There was a raw hunger in her eyes, a desire that seemed to consume her entirely. It was a look you had never seen from her before, one that stirred something primal within you despite the lingering tension between you.
As she drew closer, the air between you crackled with anticipation, thick with unspoken desire. Your heart raced in your chest, torn between the instinct to flee and the inexplicable pull drawing you closer to her.
Yunjin watched in silence, her expression unreadable as she observed the electric exchange unfolding before her. It was as if time itself had slowed to a crawl, the world narrowing down to the charged space between you and Chaewon, where every breath, every heartbeat seemed to echo with the promise of something forbidden.
As Chaewon closed the distance between you, her eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made your heart race. And then, in a low, husky voice that sent shivers down your spine, she uttered words that made your heart skip a beat.
"You know, Y/n," she murmured, her voice dripping with seduction, "I've always wondered what it would feel like to have you beneath me, begging for more."
Your breath caught in your throat at her brazen words, your mind reeling with a heady mix of desire and disbelief. Before you could form a coherent response, Chaewon closed the remaining distance between you, her lips crashing against yours in a fervent kiss that ignited a firestorm of passion within you.
In that moment, everything else faded away as you surrendered to the intoxicating sensation of Chaewon's lips moving against yours with a hunger that matched your own. It was a kiss filled with longing, with pent-up desire that had been simmering between you for far too long.
Caught up in the heat of the moment, you melted into Chaewon's embrace, your hands tangling in her hair as you lost yourself in the overwhelming rush of sensation. It was a kiss that spoke volumes, a silent confession of all the unspoken desires that had lingered between you, finally finding release in the electrifying connection you shared.
As Yunjin sat there, her face flushed at the scene unfolding before her, she couldn't help but stutter out, "I-I think I should leave..."
But her words were drowned out by your escalating moans, the intensity of the moment overpowering any attempts at rational thought.
Chaewon, her voice husky with desire, murmured against your ear, "Do you like that, Y/n? Do you want more?"
You could only manage a breathless nod in response as Chaewon continued to grope and tease, her touch igniting flames of pleasure within you.
"Tell me what you want," Chaewon whispered, her lips brushing against yours in a teasing caress.
"I want..." you began, your voice barely a whisper, "I want you..."
And with that confession, Chaewon's hunger reached its peak. Without hesitation, she pulled you into a searing kiss, her hands roaming freely over your body as she eagerly explored every inch of your desire. The sound of your moans mingled with the rhythm of your pounding hearts, filling the room with a symphony of passion as you surrendered yourself completely to the intoxicating pleasure of the moment.
The room was charged with tension as Yunjin remained frozen in her seat, unable to tear her eyes away from the scene unfolding before her. Your moans, growing increasingly desperate, echoed through the room, sending a shiver down her spine.
Unable to resist the overwhelming arousal building within her, Yunjin's hand drifted down to cup her hardening cock, whimpering softly at the electrifying sensitivity that coursed through her body.
Your head snapped towards Yunjin at the sound of her whimper, and you caught Chaewon's eye as she began to kiss down your neck. "Chaewon," you sighed out, your voice a breathless plea, "Nerd over there wants some action."
Chaewon detached herself from your neck, her gaze flickering to Yunjin's flushed face with a wicked smirk. "Aw, is the nerd getting turned on by watching two girls kiss?" she teased, her voice dripping with amusement.
Feeling emboldened by Chaewon's taunt, you crawled over to where Yunjin sat, guided by Chaewon's nod. "Tease her a little, Y/n," Chaewon instructed, her voice low and seductive.
You obeyed, brushing your fingers teasingly against Yunjin's face before trailing them down her body, eliciting a shuddered breath and a whimper from her. Your hand found its way to Yunjin's hardened bulge, and you began to rub it gently, feeling her tremble beneath your touch as desire surged through her.
Yunjin's breath hitched as she succumbed to the intoxicating sensation, her body responding eagerly to your teasing caresses. The air crackled with anticipation as you continued to explore Yunjin's desires, guided by Chaewon's wicked gaze and the heady rush of arousal that enveloped you all.
With a mischievous glint in your eye, you continued to rub Yunjin's clothed cock, feeling it throb beneath your touch. Looking up at her with a daring smirk, you whispered, "Take off your pants, let me suck you off, nerd."
Yunjin wasted no time in complying, eagerly pushing down her pants and underwear in one swift motion. Your eyes widened at the sight of her exposed cock, a rush of excitement coursing through you as you took in its size.
"Who knew the nerd had such a pretty big cock," you remarked with a playful smirk, your voice filled with admiration.
Without hesitation, you leaned forward, your lips capturing Yunjin's throbbing member as you began to lavish it with attention. Your hand joined in, providing additional stimulation as you worked her with fervor, determined to bring her to the brink of pleasure.
Yunjin's moans filled the room, mingling with the sounds of your slurping as pleasure coursed through her. Lost in the intoxicating sensation, she surrendered herself to the pleasure of your touch, her body quivering with anticipation of the release that awaited her.
Your tongue explored every inch of her length, while your lips tightened around her shaft, creating a delicious friction that sent waves of pleasure through her.
Yunjin's hips bucked involuntarily, her hands gripping your hair as she surrendered to the overwhelming pleasure. Her moans grew louder and more urgent, filling the room with desire and urging you on.
As you continued to pleasure Yunjin, your mouth occupied with sucking and stroking her cock, Chaewon's actions caught you off guard. With a wicked grin, she swiftly whipped out her own cock and began to tug your shorts and panties down, exposing your needy core to the cool air.
"Looks like someone's eager to join in on the fun," Chaewon purred, her voice dripping with lust as she eyed your exposed body hungrily.
You moaned around Yunjin's cock, the sensation of Chaewon's hands on you sending sparks of pleasure coursing through your veins. "Oh, fuck, Chaewon," you gasped, your voice laced with desire, "don't stop."
Chaewon chuckled darkly as she teased your throbbing clit with her fingers, her touch sending shockwaves of pleasure radiating through your body. "You're such a needy slut, Y/n," she taunted, her voice low and seductive, "but I love it."
Your breath hitched as Chaewon's fingers dipped lower, teasingly circling your entrance before sliding inside you with ease. "Fuck, Chaewon," you moaned, your words barely coherent as pleasure washed over you in waves.
Meanwhile, Yunjin watched with rapt attention, her own arousal evident as she enjoyed the show unfolding before her. The air crackled with anticipation as the three of you indulged in the forbidden pleasure, lost in the intoxicating haze of desire.
As Chaewon continued to tease and taunt you, her fingers danced along the slick folds of your entrance, eliciting a low whimper of anticipation from you. With a devilish grin, she guided the tip of her cock to your dripping entrance, teasingly rubbing it against your slick folds.
Your breath caught in your throat at the sensation, your body trembling with need as Chaewon teased you mercilessly. "Come on, Y/n," she teased, her voice dripping with desire, "you know you want it."
You moaned in response, your hips instinctively bucking towards her, desperate for more. "Please," you whimpered, your voice pleading, "don't tease me like this."
But Chaewon only chuckled darkly, her eyes glinting with mischief as she continued to tease your entrance with the tip of her cock. "You're such a slut, Y/n," she murmured, her voice a husky whisper, "begging for it like this."
The sensation was almost too much to bear, your body trembling with need as you yearned for her to fill you completely. With a final, torturous tease, Chaewon relented, pushing her cock slowly into you, inch by agonizing inch, until you were filled to the brim with her.
As Chaewon teased and tantalized you with her cock, Yunjin couldn't help but be drawn into the electrifying scene unfolding before her. Her breath quickened as she watched, her own arousal mounting with each passing moment.
With a seductive smirk, Chaewon glanced over at Yunjin, her eyes gleaming with mischief. "Why don't you join in, Yunjin?" she purred, her voice filled with desire. "I'm sure Y/n wouldn't mind having both of us to play with."
Yunjin's cheeks flushed with excitement as she nodded eagerly, her hands trembling as she pushed you off with anticipation as she reached out to join in the erotic encounter. With trembling fingers, she began to stroke her own cock, mirroring the rhythm of Chaewon's movements as she teased you with her own.
You gasped in pleasure as Yunjin's hands joined in, the sensation of being pleasured by both of them driving you to new heights of ecstasy. Your body trembled with pleasure as you surrendered yourself to the overwhelming sensations, lost in the intoxicating haze of desire.
The room was filled with the sound of your moans and gasps, mingling with the slick sounds of flesh slapping against eachother as the three of you indulged in the forbidden pleasure. With each passing moment, the intensity of your arousal grew, driving you closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy.
As the pleasure mounted, you could feel yourself teetering on the brink of release, the tantalizing touch of Chaewon and Yunjin pushing you over the edge into blissful oblivion. With a final, ecstatic cry, you succumbed to the overwhelming waves of pleasure, your body convulsing with ecstasy as you reached the pinnacle of pleasure.
Chaewon pounded into you, driving you to new heights of pleasure, Yunjin seized the opportunity to indulge in her own desires. With a hunger in her eyes, she reclaimed your mouth, her lips crashing against yours in a passionate kiss.
You moaned into the kiss, your body responding eagerly to her touch as she deepened the kiss, exploring every inch of your mouth with a fervor that left you breathless. Meanwhile, Chaewon's relentless thrusts sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, driving you to the brink of ecstasy.
With a wicked grin, Yunjin broke the kiss, her eyes glinting with mischief as she pushed you down onto the bed. "Open wide, Y/n," she whispered, her voice husky with desire, "I want to fuck your face."
Without hesitation, she positioned herself above you, her cock poised at your lips as she thrust forward, forcing you to take her into your mouth once again. You eagerly complied, sucking and stroking her with enthusiasm as she face-fucked you with a relentless rhythm.
The sensation was overwhelming, the dual stimulation of Chaewon's thrusts and Yunjin's cock driving you to new heights of pleasure. You moaned around Yunjin's cock, the vibrations sending shivers of ecstasy coursing through her as she drove herself deeper into your mouth.
Lost in the intoxicating haze of pleasure, you surrendered yourself completely to the overwhelming sensations, your body trembling with desire as you were consumed by the ecstasy of the moment. With each passing moment, the intensity of your arousal grew, driving you closer and closer to the edge of ecstasy.
Chaewon continued to thrust into you with unrelenting fervor, the intensity of her movements driving you to the brink of ecstasy, you felt her body tense with impending release. With a sharp cry of pleasure, Chaewon reached her peak, her hips bucking wildly as she spilled her seed deep inside you.
"Fuck, Y/n, you feel so fucking good," Chaewon gasped, her voice filled with ecstasy as she emptied herself into you. "You like that, huh? You like taking my cock deep inside you."
You gasped in pleasure as you felt her hot release filling you, waves of pleasure washing over you as she emptied herself into you completely. "God, yes," you muttered against Yunjins cock, your voice filled with need. "I love it, Chaewon. I love feeling you inside me."
With one final, powerful thrust, Chaewon collapsed against you, spent from the intensity of her climax. "Fuck," she breathed, her voice husky with satisfaction.
Feeling Chaewon's release triggered your own, you cried out in pleasure, your body convulsing with ecstasy as you reached the pinnacle of bliss. The sensation of her cumming inside you sent shockwaves of pleasure coursing through your body, pushing you over the edge into an explosive climax of your own.
Meanwhile, Yunjin's cock remained in your mouth, her own pleasure evident as she moaned and gasped in response to the erotic scene unfolding before her. With a wicked grin, Chaewon withdrew from you, her fingers finding their way to your needy clit as she began to rub it with expert precision.
"Look at you, Y/n," Chaewon purred, her voice dripping with desire, "so desperate for release. You're such a little slut, aren't you?"
You moaned in response, unable to form coherent words as pleasure washed over you in waves. Chaewon's fingers worked tirelessly, driving you to new heights of ecstasy as she teased and tormented your sensitive clit.
And then, with a sharp cry of release, you reached your climax once again, your body trembling with the force of your release as pleasure consumed you entirely. The room was filled with the sound of your moans and gasps, mingling with the slick sounds of flesh against flesh as you surrendered yourself to the overwhelming sensations.
As you and Chaewon basked in the aftermath of your climaxes, the air thick with the scent of sex and satisfaction, Yunjin seized the opportunity to indulge in her own pleasure. With a low, guttural moan, she reached the pinnacle of ecstasy, her body trembling with the force of her release.
Feeling Yunjin's cock throb with the intensity of her climax, you eagerly accepted her into your mouth, welcoming her cum with open lips. You moaned in delight as Yunjin spilled her seed into your waiting mouth, the taste of her release driving you wild.
With each pulse of pleasure, you eagerly drank down every drop of her cum, savoring the taste of her release as it filled your mouth. The sensation of her cum mingling with yours sent shockwaves of pleasure coursing through your body, heightening the intensity of your own pleasure.
As Yunjin's climax subsided, you swallowed her seed with a satisfied sigh, relishing the taste of her release as it lingered on your tongue. The room was filled with the sound of your satisfied moans and the slick sounds of flesh against flesh as you surrendered yourself to the overwhelming sensations.
As the waves of pleasure subsided, leaving all of you spent and breathless, you collapsed together in a tangled heap on the floor, limbs entwined in a deliciously intimate embrace. The room was filled with the heavy, heady scent of sex, a tangible reminder of the passion that had consumed you all.
"Fuck, that was amazing," Chaewon exclaimed, her voice laced with satisfaction as she caught her breath. A playful laugh escaped her lips as she added, "We should definitely do this again."
You hummed in agreement, a lazy smile gracing your lips as you reveled in the shared moment of intimacy. The rush of endorphins coursing through your veins left you feeling warm and content, your body tingling with the echoes of pleasure.
Beside you, Yunjin blushed at the suggestion, her cheeks flushing a deep shade of crimson. She couldn't bring herself to meet your gaze, but the shy smile that tugged at the corners of her lips spoke volumes.
As the three of you lay there in a blissful post-coital haze, basking in the afterglow of the unforgettable experience, a sense of camaraderie and closeness settled over you like a warm blanket. It was a moment you knew you would cherish forever, a memory that would bind you together in an unbreakable bond of shared pleasure and intimacy.
“Round 2 in my room?”
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mizading · 1 year
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UPPER MOON YANDERE HEADCANONS~ PT.2
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Characters: Muzan, Gyutaro, Sekido, Urogi, Karaku, Gyokko, Kaigaku.
A/N:  I would like to thank Yoshinohirmet for the request! I thoroughly enjoyed adding to my Yandere Upper Moon series. As for my readers, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the love. Take care of yourselves and enjoy <3
Warnings : Verbal abuse, Physical abuse, violence, obsession, Yandere themes, etc. 
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Muzan ・❥・
Muzan, a man with a twisted secret.
You’re the one chosen to take on the role of the demon's wife.
Muzan's obsession won’t be known.
As far as you know, you’re only here to maintain his facade of a perfect family.
Your only job is to help him live a "normal" life and keep his true identity hidden.
Deep down, a twisted spiral of obsession consumes Muzan slowly but entirely.
Although you serve a purpose that benefits Muzan, it’s merely an appropriate excuse for Muzan to get close to you.
Something about you is as intoxicating as his desire for the blue spider lily.
He himself can’t explain his unhealthy attraction to you.
Each day, he loses more and more control over this dark passion that burns inside.
Muzan needs you entirely. He’ll tell you lies until his last breath, just to keep you dependent.
You need him; you’re merely nothing without Muzan. You serve no purpose other than being his.
Muzan prefers to silently watch and stalk.
Seeing you exist and your movements, untainted by the presence of another, satisfies his desire ever so slightly.
Muzan just loves the way you exist naturally when nobody is around. Everything about you is fascinating. The way your eyebrows furrow while reading, the way you bite your lip when focusing, how your right eye is a bit wider when you smile—he loves it all.
In your eyes, you disgust Muzan. You serve no purpose other than being his "wife". He barely speaks to you, let alone acknowledges your presence.
At least, that is what you believe.
Muzan will slip one day. He can’t keep pretending that his body doesn’t yearn for you. He’s slowly losing control.
Muzan's spiral of hidden obsession will eventually engulf you both.
Gyutaro ・❥・
You’re the only thing that Gyutaro has—the only possession of his that is worth anything.
If Gyutaro doesn’t have you, he has less than nothing.
Nights would be spent with him obsessively touching and admiring you.
Over-the-top praise would be whispered in your ear as his fingers shakily traced your supple skin.
Gyutaro has a meal schedule set in place for you.
He desperately needs to see you in the best condition possible; he knows more than anyone what it’s like to almost die from starvation.
Gyutaro treats you as a trophy to show off, his little pretty lover.
Although he doesn’t take well to other men or women staring at or touching you.
One gaze that lasts too long from another sends Gyutaro into a blinding rage.
Gyutaro has a lingering fear that you'll see someone who meets your unattainable level.
He won’t ever have the only thing that he has in his pathetic life taken from him.
Gyutaro secretly craves your acceptance—just a small reassurance that he isn’t the scum of the earth.
Deep down, he fantasizes about being attractive and finally being able to proudly call himself your lover without utter shame and embarrassment.
Gyutaros strength is the only thing he has an ounce of confidence in.
He may never be able to compare to something as small as your hand when it comes to looks, but he can protect you proudly.
Gyutaro will gladly give up his life for you over and over again.
Sekido ・❥・
Not a soul was safe from Sekido’s wrath, but you were somehow the exception?
You were on a mission with other demon-slayers when you first met him.
Your existence hypnotized Sekido; every movement of yours made his own existence worthless to him.
All that mattered in the moment was you.
Your comrades were killed in no time; as for you? He didn’t lay a single hand on you.
All attempts to hurt Sekido were futile.
Sekido doesn’t want to take you by force, but he will if he has to.
Sekido would take you into hiding. For now, he wants you to himself with nobody to interfere.
Months would be spent with him in the forest.
Days consist of him admiring you, trying to figure out what's so special about you.
Why do you make him feel this way?
Sekido wouldn’t force physical contact until his emotions were too much to bear; he'd hold out for as long as possible.
Once he actually gets his hands on you, it’s hard for him to control himself.
Sekido isn’t exactly gentle with you; he has too much pent-up anger, but he tries.
Disobeying in any form earns you verbal abuse or physical restraint.
Don’t test Sekido; he can’t always control himself.
Urogi ・❥・
You make excitement run its course through Urogi’s body.
Such a beautiful specimen you were through his eyes.
Urogis feathers can’t help but ruffle at the thought of you belonging to him.
His sizable wings would wrap around you tightly, preventing you from leaving as he dragged you to a new location.
Somewhere, the two of you could stay together for as long as you both live.
Seeing the fear in your eyes, hearing your screams, and watching your hopeless attempts to escape makes his fire of excitement burn brighter.
Urogi knows that such a smart and beautiful person as you would soon understand that he is what's best for you.
Nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever come close to his love.
Attempt to escape, and you’re wrapped in his soft but chilling wings again.
"Can’t you see how good I am for you? Keep up this bad behavior; you’re making things much more exciting."
Urogi wouldn’t use any of his abilities on you; he doesn’t need to.
His physical strength alone is enough to keep you his. It’s much more entertaining this way.
The way Urogi scans your body using his blinding yellow eyes with a soft but chilling smile on his face makes you weak in the knees.
He’s expresses nothing but joy and excitement, no matter what you attempt to do.
There is something awfully off about Urogi; he knows this, and you know this.
Karaku ・❥・
Karakus's obsessiveness is only natural; it goes hand in hand with pleasure.
There have been many that Karaku has been fond of, but nobody could dare touch your level.
The way your little face scrunches up with determination while you swing useless slashes at him drives Karaku crazy.
Your hopelessness is so precious to him.
Karaku pays an awful amount of attention to your body; the way you maneuver fascinates him.
Karaku thoroughly enjoys touching you unexpectedly; he simply does it to see the way your body reacts.
You’re basically Karaku's doll, his new porcelain doll wrapped in plastic.
He’ll do anything in his power to make you completely dependent on him and him alone.
Karaku breaking and molding you into his little dependent doll is only a cover-up for how much he needs you.
If you need him, he won’t ever have to worry about the one thing he needs most escaping from his grasp.
It takes much effort to make Karaku the slightest bit unhappy.
Throw a tantrum? He thinks it's cute.
Hurt him? He enjoys pinning you down, Karaku will put up with all of your antics.
The only thing that can manage to set off Karaku is trying to escape.
Attempting to escape his grasp drives him mad; why would you ever try to leave him?
Karaku will hunt you down until the second he takes his last breath.
Gyokko ・❥・
You were the first thing to make Gyokko pause in awe, besides his own vases.
A mere human with beauty that puts one of his vases to shame? Gyokko couldn’t wrap his mind around the phenomenon.
Gyokko spent a couple of weeks stalking you from the shadows.
He needed to capture your beauty somewhere, and that somewhere was on a vase.
Gyokko spends hours studying your features, painting out every little detail of your existence on an empty vase.
Your essence needed to be captured permanently.
Gyokko wants nothing more than to show you his work—just something, anything that’ll impress you.
All he wants is your validation—to make you pause in awe just as much as he did when he first laid eyes on you.
Deep down, Gyokko knows better; he shouldn’t dare show himself.
He has just enough sense left to acknowledge his form, half of his body encapsulated in a vase, and a terrifying face as a cherry on top.
Gyokko only has enough confidence to watch you silently from the depths of the night.
By now, there are at least fifty vases, all in your name.
Gyokko quenches his heart's desire for you by admiring you on his vases; it’s almost as if you’re really there.
Somehow, someday Gyokko will have you posing right before his eyes as he paints every inch of you.
Kaigaku ・❥・
On the outside, Kaigaku is seen as an arrogant narcissist.
What lies inside is someone insecure, who craves your acceptance more than anything.
Kaigaku ingrained your low worth compared to him into your head.
This is the only way he knows how to keep you by his side for as long as you live.
If you continue to stray, Kaigaku will resort to physical violence.
He knows no better; this is the only way in his clouded mind.
There are moments where Kaigaku gets slightly vulnerable.
This typically only happens after a battle.
Kaigaku will spend hours on end begging for your acceptance.
The demon only wants to hear that he still has a purpose, even if it's minor.
His vulnerability is hidden once more the next day.
Kaigaku will return to his verbally abusive ways, denying anything that happened the night before.
Kaigaku's only worry is that you'll see through his facade.
He can’t bear the thought of you seeing him for who he truly is.
Until that day comes, Kaigaku will force you to be by his side.
With him, you are nothing more than his puppet.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭
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Always Thinking of You
Apologies for yet another interruption of the usual Astarion Ancunin programme. I swear I'm still very into our beloved vampire idiot, it's just that the Transformers brainrot has invaded once more.
Summary: As the base burns down all around him, all Optimus Prime can think about is you. (set in TFP universe)
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Optimus couldn't get the look in your optics as you turned away from him out of his processor. You didn't say a word, you didn't need to. He knew you well enough to tell exactly what was on your processor, he knew you were disappointed in him for choosing the humans over Cybertron, he knew you were hurt by his decision to destroy the Omega Lock. Most of all, he knew you were angry that it had come down to this.
Still, he watches as you disappear into the swirling vortex that is the Groundbridge, an emptiness filling his chest. He didn't know where he had sent you, didn't know what the future held for you, but that was for you to figure out. His job here would be done in a moment, and seeing you again…he futilely clung onto that silver of hope, knowing that such a day would never come. He would die here, leaving you alone on this Earth. No, not alone. You would still have the other Autobots, and whoever the Matrix chose to be a Prime next.
A single tear slides down his cheek as he turns to face the console, raising the Star Saber high. In the face of imminent death, he finds that he regrets a rather long list of things. He regrets that he parted ways with Ratchet like this, that he parted ways with you like this. He regrets that he'd never get to bring you to the top of Iacon Tower to see the view from there at night, that he'd never get to see how you'd react to the crystal gardens. He regrets that he'd never be able to feel your touch again, to feel your lips on his, to hear your laugh, see the way your optics light up when you lock gazes with him.
But he has to do this. The Autobot cause is far greater than his personal relationships, the both of you knew that. By doing this, he's ensuring your safety as much as he can, he tells himself, even if it's at the cost of his life. He'd meant it, every time he said he'd give his life for you. He feels his Spark constrict, a pang of guilt for being unable to uphold his promise to you.
As he swings the Star Saber downwards, he whispers one last prayer to Primus. He prays that you'll find someone new, someone better, someone who could give you what you needed, not a failure of a Prime who couldn't even keep his loved ones safe.
Then all he feels is the searing heat, followed by white hot pain. The entire base collapses on him, steel beams twisting in the flames and he feels one run through his abdomen as he crumbles beneath the weight and pain of it all. He can feel Energon leaking out of him as rubble cuts through his armour, opening the wires beneath. Everything hurts, his vision is getting fuzzy, he can barely breathe now. Sparks crawl along his arms where his wiring is exposed and he can't feel his legs anymore.
He never thought this was how he would go out. Sure, he'd thought about martyring himself many times over, before and after you came into his life, but the martyring usually came in the form of an execution by Megatron, not…whatever this was.
He finds his thoughts starting to wander to you as his life ebbs away, wondering what you're doing right now, if you've found a safe spot to hide for the time being. He wonders if you'll mourn his death, or if you'll only remember the time he doomed Cybertron with his own servos and hate him for the rest of your life. He hopes it's the former, it pains him to think about the latter. He's enjoyed all the times the both of you had spent together, especially all the stolen kisses in the dead of night when everyone else was asleep or on patrol. Those moments had made him feel like Orion Pax again, his Spark racing as he snuck out to meet you, tingles running up his backstruts as he held your servo, starry eyed and lost in your optics.
He remembers the time you'd thrown yourself in front of a missile for him, screaming for him to move as you slammed into him, taking the full brunt of the impact. He'd been so afraid for you, panic seizing him as he shouted for a medic, cradling your bleeding form. The Decepticon the missile belonged to made the mistake of trying to finish off what they started, and found themselves on the receiving end of his ion blaster. He had never felt such rage in his life before then, was it the same kind of rage that fueled Megatron's conquest? A shudder runs through him at the thought, would he wage such a terrible war for you? Would you do it for him?
At least 70% of his system has shut down at this point. Everything is muffled and his throat feels dry. Fear wraps its tendrils around him, squeezing tightly as thoughts he believed he'd long locked away hear cloud his processor. He doesn't want to die, he wishes he'd never been made a Prime, he wishes he could have a normal life with you, continue to be friends with Megatron, he wishes he wishes, but this is the reality he's in. He hates how he crumbles beneath the burden he's made to carry, hates the way he breaks down in front of you when the burden overwhelms him, hates the way you're made to carry his burden alongside him. Most of all, he hates the way his burden turned friends on each other and destroyed the planet he called home.
Black is creeping around his vision, threatening to devour the world around him. Just before it consumes him, he pictures your smile, the warmth in your optics, and the cold regret of never being able to see them ever again.
When he next opens his optics, the sound of your voice washes over his audials. There's an edge in your tone, and Ratchet says something but he doesn't quite catch it. Wait…your voice? Is he not one with the Allspark yet? Why would you and Ratchet be one with the Allspark? Had he failed?
"He's awake." The ringing in his audials stop.
"I can see that. I'm not blind." You're still as snarky as ever.
"Good. Then watch him while I go and retrieve a couple of items."
"Tch." He hears pedsteps fade away as you come into view. There's not a hint of anger or hatred in your optics. The only thing he can see in them is worry, concern, and love.
He doesn't know what to say. He didn't prepare for this, he didn't expect any of this. You gently touch his helm, gaze soft as you smile at him.
"You're safe now."
"I'm sorry," he rasps. It's the only thing he can say, the only thing that lingers on the tip of his tongue. He feels the lubricant gathering at the corners of his optics, his chest constricting and you simply hold him in your arms, cradling him.
"I forgive you." You murmur, and he clings to you in response. He was so afraid back then, but the moment you said those words, all his fears melted away.
"Thank you, my spark."
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eksvaized · 7 months
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Part One König / Ghost / Reader [ Previous 〡 Next ] ︱AO3 ︱Wattpad ︱ taglist: - (if you want to be added - let me know!)
since I finished editing 'just friends', I decided to rewrite & edit this story, so I hope you'll enjoy the new version! <3
Each morning, you awaken alone. The enormous bed, once filled with warmth, now cold and empty. Today, your morning isn't any different from the countless ones that have come before. As you roll onto your side, your hand stretches out, tracing the cool, empty expanse of the mattress. Your fingers curl around the frosty pillow, its fabric still bearing the faintest scent of him. You draw it closer to you, clutching at it in a futile attempt to fill the void that is left by your boyfriend and his lack of presence.
A sigh, barely audible, escapes your lips as a wave of loneliness engulfs you. Its icy tendrils wrap tightly around your heart, constricting it in a bitter reminder of your solitude. You yearn for a morning where you can flutter open your eyes to find König next to you, his arms securely wrapped around your body, his breath warm against your skin. You long to see him still sleeping, his face relaxed in peaceful slumber, instead of disappearing and getting out of bed as soon as the first rays of sunshine peek through the window. A longing for the soft whispers of "good morning" and the gentle comfort of his embrace fills you, making the emptiness of the bed all the more pathetic.
The first two years of your relationship with König were great. You were happy, genuinely happy, and over the moon because you finally had someone in your life, who truly cared about you, who showered you with attention and affection, and even lavished you with expensive gifts. You felt cherished and valued, and it was a feeling unlike anything you had ever experienced before.
However, as of late, König has transformed into someone unrecognizable. He is still your boyfriend; you love him very much, and he probably loves you even more. Yet, his demeanour, his behaviour, and the manner in which he has started to conduct himself have left you in a state of constant questioning. The love you once never doubted now seems uncertain, as his actions and attitude have begun to paint a different picture—he's not the man you met and fell in love with two years ago.
Sometimes, usually after a couple glasses of wine when you've gathered the courage, you dare to confront him about his nonchalant attitude towards you. In these moments of newfound bravery, you bombard him with questions, desperately seeking to understand if it's something you are doing that causes him to act as if he couldn't care less about you or your feelings. But no matter how earnestly you implore, he never gives you the answers you're looking for. He never provides any concrete explanations or reasons for his indifference.
He has a myriad of excuses for why he doesn't want to engage with you about your concerns. The reasons are countless and they change each time, just like shifting sands, always elusive and never consistent. You've heard a variety of them. For instance, he might dismiss your confrontation because of you being wine drunk, suggesting that you should go to bed. Another time, he might say he's too tired to engage in a deep conversation and promise to talk with you in the morning.
But perhaps the one that stings the most, your least favourite, is when he pretends he didn't hear you. Even when you're standing directly in front of him, looking at him with teary eyes, and pouring out your heart, he chooses to feign ignorance and act as though he didn't hear a single word. This cold dismissal is far worse than any words he could say.
Although he's cold with you, he never never displays any outright cruelty. Still, you can't help but notice the chilly detachment that has creeps into his voice when he talks with you. It's as if a frost has settled over your conversations, making each word feel like a shard of ice. Or the flicker of irritation that now seems to have taken up permanent residence in his eyes whenever he comes home and sees you. It's as if he's looking through you rather than at you, seeing not the person you are but the person he wishes you were.
König has constructed around himself an impenetrable wall. A wall so thick and so high that no matter how much you chip away at it, no matter how hard you try to scale its heights, it remains steadfast. It stands there as a constant reminder of the gulf that has opened up between you two—a gulf that seems to widen with each passing day.
You find yourself continuously attempting to convince your own mind that this is merely a fleeting phase, a temporary hiccup in your relationship. Every relationship, after all, has its own set of struggles and hurdles to overcome. It's normal, you tell yourself, maybe all you need to do is to be patient and wait it out. Time has a way of healing wounds and mending bridges, and perhaps a little more of it could be the magic potion that brings everything back to the way it used to be - normal and simple.
However, despite your best efforts to suppress it, there's a harsh, cruel voice that resides in the deepest recesses of your mind, nagging persistently. It casts a dark shadow of doubt over your thoughts, suggesting with an unsettling certainty that maybe, just maybe, the once deep love that existed between you and him is gradually, and painfully, fading away into oblivion.
You are brewing coffee, desperately hoping that the invigorating aroma and the caffeine would help to dissipate the remnants of sleep that linger stubbornly within you. The quiet solitude of the early morning embraces you, punctuated only by the gentle hum of the brewing machine and the occasional chirping of a bird outside.
But suddenly, the tranquillity of the moment shatters like glass as the front door swings open with a force that rings through the house. This abrupt entrance is quickly followed by the distinct, rhythmic thud of heavy boots making their way down the lengthy corridor. Each footfall sends a reverberation through the floorboards. The sound is so familiar, yet it sends a jolt through your heart. You don't even need to turn around to know - König has returned home.
Over the past few weeks, you've found yourself walking on eggshells around him. It feels as though the surrounding air has become thin and brittle, ready to shatter at the slightest misstep. You've been constantly monitoring your words and actions, choosing them with careful deliberation so as not to accidentally exacerbate his increasingly volatile mood, which has been fluctuating more frequently as days pass. But when he finally appears in the doorway of the kitchen, his face etched with deep lines of exhaustion and his eyes vacant, you find the words tumbling out of your mouth before you can stop them.
"What's wrong?"
His response is curt, delivered with an air of finality that leaves no room for further questions. "Nothing you need to worry about, liebling," he says, attempting to alleviate the palpable tension in the kitchen with a smile. But it's strained, fragile, like a piece of glass that's on the verge of shattering. The corners of his lips quiver slightly, an involuntary reaction betraying his inner turmoil. The frown lines etched deep on his forehead refuse to disappear, stubbornly present even as he tries to mask his emotions.
He closes the distance between you, his footsteps echoing in the silence. He leans in to plant a brief, fleeting kiss on your forehead, his lips colder than you remember, their warmth replaced by a chill that sends a shiver down your spine. As he continues his task, his hand reaches up to retrieve a cup from the cupboard above your head. You can't help but notice the new changes in him. His movements lack their usual grace, his touch feels mechanical, and his caresses are devoid of the genuine affection you've grown accustomed to. It's as if he's simply operating on autopilot, his mind evidently elsewhere.
You yearn for him to confide in you, to share his burdens and let you in on the whirlwind of thoughts that seem to be plaguing him. You wish to be his solace, to help him navigate through his sea of worries. More than anything, you want to help him, to alleviate his worries and bring back the man you know and love. But how can you do that if he refuses to let you in, if he remains so stubbornly silent, his emotions locked up tighter than a fortress?
"I'm leaving tomorrow. Have another mission. It's going to be a short one," König finally says, his gaze piercing you with an intensity that suggests he's expecting you to blow up.
However, you strive to maintain your composure. You have no intention of descending into another fruitless argument; every time he leaves after a fight, you feel awful for the way you acted.
"It's only been a week since you've returned home," you say, your eyes focused on the steaming cup cradled in your hands. The heat radiating from the cup is causing your fingertips to tingle, and the steam is lightly brushing against your skin. Despite the discomfort, you hold on to it with a firm grip. "I thought you were going to stay for at least another week. We had plans, remember? You gave me your word—."
He cuts you off before you can complete your sentence. "Plans have changed."
There have been countless times when you've wanted to confront König, to ask him directly why he finds it so challenging to uphold the promises that he so confidently makes. Yet each time you find yourself holding back, fully aware that such a conversation would be futile and would only result in both of you raising your voices in frustration. It has become painfully clear that he has no intention of discussing work-related matters with you.
König has a habit of offering reassurances that are devoid of any real comfort. He frequently insists that it's silly for you to burden your mind with matters that, in his opinion, do not directly concern you. This line of reasoning, though flawed, he presents as if it were an undeniable truth. And if, despite his attempts to dissuade you, you still muster the courage to press further, he always has a fallback. He always abruptly ends the conversation, leaving you hanging with a parting remark that it would be safer, better for you, if you remained ignorant.
* * *
As dawn breaks, you stir from your slumber only to find yourself enveloped once again by the cold emptiness of the bed beside you. The dreary grey skies outside mirror your inner turmoil. Raindrops pitter-patter gently against the windowpane. König didn't even bother waking you up before leaving. Yet, his absence is punctuated by a hastily scrawled note left carelessly on the nightstand. The message is brief and impersonal, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth: 'had to get up early, didn't want to wake you up. see you soon.'
Was it really so difficult to scribble three more words?
With a soft sigh, you whisper into the stillness of the bedroom, "I love you, too." The words, left unsaid by him, hang heavy in the air. You clutch the note in your hand before crumpling it and aimlessly tossing it onto the mattress.
With a great deal of effort, you pull yourself from the warm embrace of the bed, your feet reluctantly making contact with the icy floor beneath. You pause for a second, collecting your scattered thoughts, allowing the remnants of sleep to fade away as you mentally prepare yourself for yet another day.
Slowly, you venture through the hauntingly silent house, each step echoing through the stillness of the early morning. Each room you pass through seems to reverberate with echoes of a thousand memories that seem to cling to the walls and linger in the air. Yet amidst the symphony of remembrances, there's one memory that stands out from the rest, a memory that refuses to be drowned out by the others. It's that heated argument with König, a fiery exchange of words and emotions that took place just a few months ago.
You vividly recall the sting of his dismissive attitude on that day when you bared your soul to him, accusing him bitterly of not taking your relationship as seriously as you did, accusing him of taking your love, your commitment, for granted as if it were an inconsequential thing.
In the depths of your heart, you wished fervently, desperately even, for him to just be honest with you if his feelings for you were slowly fading away, like the last embers of a once roaring fire. You wanted him to admit it if he no longer felt the same passion, the same affection that once seemed to radiate from him like a comforting warmth.
But instead of providing the honesty you craved, he had merely dismissed your concerns, brushed them aside like dust. He told you that you were imagining things, that it was all just a figment of your overactive imagination, assuring you with words that felt hollow, that nothing between you two had changed.
But by the day's end, he had taken a step that had left you reeling in confusion. He had asked you to move in with him, a grand gesture that he believed would dispel your doubts and insecurities, a gesture that he thought would reassure you of his commitment. But instead of providing the comfort he hoped it would, it merely added another layer of complexity to the turbulent sea of emotions within you.
Initially, there was a glimmer of hope, a faint belief that things were on the verge of improving. You harboured the thought that perhaps the physical distance, the living apart, had been the catalyst that dimmed the once vibrant flame of your relationship. However, as each day bled into the next, and weeks morphed into seemingly interminable months, the solitary confinement within these walls began to weigh heavily on you.
The more time you spent alone in this house, the more you found yourself yearning for the familiar corners of your old apartment, regretting the decision to sell it to relocate here. After all, you pondered, what difference does it make where you live? The four walls of a room are just that, and the absence of König made this house feel no different than your old apartment.
What was the point of moving in together if König was always away, prioritising his work and his duty as a soldier above you?
You shake your head, as if physically trying to dispel the thoughts that have begun to creep into your mind. You can't allow yourself to dwell on them any longer, to let them take root and cast a shadow over your day. After all, the day has only just begun and you don't want to end up sulking on the couch, a prisoner in your own home, wallowing in a sea of regret and loneliness.
You stroll into the kitchen. As you slowly approach the counter, your fingers lightly graze the cool, granite surface, your mind whirling with the endless possibilities of what to make for breakfast. Your gaze wanders aimlessly, eventually settling on the window that provides a picturesque view of the neighbourhood.
You squint against the bright sun, your eyes catching an unusual sight - a man, his face damp with sweat under the morning sun, is engaged in an arduous task of moving boxes from a truck to the house across the street. His movements are slow and meticulous, each box handled with care as if they contain something precious.
A new neighbour.
A sense of intrigue washes over you, an irresistible curiosity that grips your very being. It's a magnetic pull that holds your attention captive, rendering you incapable of tearing your gaze away from the scene unfolding before your eyes.
His house lies across the street, a good distance away, yet his features are strikingly apparent and impossible to ignore even from your secluded vantage point in the cosy confines of your kitchen. His stature is tall and imposing, a figure that commands attention. His shoulders are broad, his hair is a dishevelled mess of rich blond locks.
As the day wears on, you find yourself repeatedly drawn to the kitchen window. Every so often, the man would step outside to retrieve yet another box from his truck, providing you with fleeting glimpses of him.
You remind yourself that you are in a committed relationship. You know that ogling other men is not something you should be doing. It's not something you usually do, and it's certainly not something you want to make a habit of.
However, in the recesses of your mind, a voice tries to justify your actions. It whispers, seeking to ease your guilt. You're just looking. That's not really doing anything wrong, right? It's a feeble attempt at rationalizing, but it works nonetheless.
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asunflowerana · 1 month
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𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭, 𝐡𝐢𝐦?
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summary: their sister got a new boyfriend, and unfortunately for them, they already know the guy.
with: teiko team and Kagami.
n: remastered prompt, with a brother x boyfriend model (which i thought was really fun to do it haha). Let me know if you guys liked it, hope you all enjoy it!
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⊛ akashi seijuro x midorima shintaro
Seijuro’s actually pleased by the surprise. He knows his former teammate pretty well, so he won't have problems trusting him to take care of you and treat you well, as you deserve.
Not only he found it pleasing, but also amusing. It's not every day that your sister decides to date such a confident, stubborn guy, which makes things a bit more interesting for him as the big brother.
“Midorima-kun. What a nice surprise.” The red-haired cordially extends his hand to the new family's addition, wearing a subtle smirk while gazing at him with his piercing, red pupils. Midorima isn't a fool to trust these eyes. “I have a feeling we’ll have a good time together, won't we?
⊛ aomine daiki x kagami taiga
“You've got to be kidding...” It’s the first thing that comes out of Daiki's mouth, looking at your new, moron boyfriend. As if it isn't good enough to deal with him at the championships, now in his personal life too? With his sister? Alright, where're the cameras? 'Cause he's having no fun with this prank.
let's face it, Aomine will make Taiga's life very difficult from now on: expect a lot of bickering and growling at each other every time they're together. However, if he's being honest, Daiki’s actually relieved that your new boyfriend is someone as upstanding and honorable as Taiga; he wouldn’t want you to date someone who doesn't treat you well. So, even though he’s an imbecile (which, yes, he is, and a lot), he's also kinda... trusty. He won't ever say that out loud, though.
“Okay, fine... I can accept this." He points at you both, discontent but not wanting you sad for not having his support. "but you better leave me out of the sappy romance of yours. Too much to sleep at night."
⊛ midorima shintaro x kise ryota
Midorima's already someone difficult to win, especially to a guy who wants to date his sister. So regardless of their past, with Kise it won't be any different; in fact, it'll be worse, due to Kise’s cocky and overly charming personality, unpleasant to the green-haired boy.
Kise isn’t so bad as a person, thoug. Smug, overwhelming, sometimes futile? yes. But he can't deny he also has a good heart. For your happiness, he'll make an effort. The blonde better be prepared for what comes for him, though.
“You really have a bad taste in men.” He bluntly tells you, quickly getting on Kise's nerves, to his delight. Before any of you can protest, he continues. “But he’s not as dumb as the others, so I can deal with him. For now.”
⊛ kise ryota x murasakibara atsushi
“You're kidding, right?” Kise can't help but cackle, bewildered by the news. Not even in his wildest dream did he see something like that happening. You, his baby sister, dating this giant child? It's too much to actually be real. “Murasakibara-chi, you spend all your money on candy, how will you treat my sister that way?”
He honestly doesn’t get what you saw in Murasaki. The lad is lazy, whine at everything, gets easily bored, and probably has more cavities in his teeth than fingers. How can that be attractive?
It'll take a while, but Kise'll eventually notice Atsushi's qualities as a boyfriend. Definitely, he isn't the ideal guy he was planning for you, but you're his world, and that's what matters in the end for Kise.
⊛ murasakibara atsushi x akashi seijuro
Atsushi's fine with the news. He actually noticed the way you and Akashi slowly grew close to each other. He has a lot of respect for him, confident that he’s the best person to take care of his sister and give her a good future. If it were up to him, you might even marry sooner than planned.
“Seijuro-kun, you're _____'s new boyfriend?” He rewinds, asking no one in specific. Akashi offers him a nod, with a small smile on his face while holding your hand. The purple-haired boy scratches his chin, unfazed but internally pleased. “Well, I think this is good news.”
⊛ kagami taiga x aomine daiki
“Please tell me this is a joke.” Kagami practically begs you, hating the teasing smirk Daiki wears on his face, bothering his future brother-in-law. You shake your head, and Kagami loses his freaking mind. “Of so many people in the world, why him? Like, there's our neighbor Koshi that helps you with groceries when I'm out, or that nice barista that gives you heart eyes everytime we're there. Heck, you could even date a mobster, for good's sake, just not him! What is so attractive about him? No, actually, I don’t want to know. I need to keep the rest of my sanity intact.”
As you can notice, Kagami was quite affected by your new relationship. And with Aomine nagging him constantly, it got even harder for him not to just jump in Daiki's throat. But with time, the two will learn how to deal with each other, especially since Aomine’s clearly making you happy. He can be a moron, but at least he’s doing his job right.
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reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated. 💕
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theaquamarinearchives · 5 months
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[ mess it up ― diluc ] "how could I think that all that i gave you was enough? 'cause every time i get too close, i just go mess it up." cw. gn!reader, angst, ex-lovers, mentions a minorly unhealthy relationship, diluc with trauma (canon event, i didn't do it to him), mentions of alcohol and drinking, light swearing, a lot of adelinde content! thinking over the breakup and having regrets
aquamarine's findings. repost from my old blog, this was sorta revenge for him being c6 but i love my husband i swear // mess it up, gracie abrams.
DILUC was a stubborn man with a tough shell, one that appeared to never be faltering no matter how many people tried. adelinde had spent countless evenings standing at the door to master diluc's office, a glass of grape juice in her tired hands as she tried so stubbornly to win the young master's heart back over; maybe he wasn't going to be this cold and sheltered for the entirety of his life, if only she tried a little bit harder.
the very cavalry captain of the knights of favonius - his own brother - had even tried endlessly, purposefully causing mischief around the dawn winery in an attempt to drag out that mischievous redhead child that diluc was storing away in the dark of his heart. despite kaeya's attempts, it was all futile and he'd be merely scolded by his brother.
sometimes even jean attempted to grasp the reins of an old friend, regardless of the turmoil left between the wine industry tycoon and the knights of favonius. he was once honoured among the knights, feared by their enemies and their youngest captain; what had happened so achingly? now all she can do is grimace at her own fruitless attempts at small talk in the streets of mondstadt, on days where the clouds blanket the sun. it's dull, dreary and the tired look in diluc's eyes couldn't have matched the weather anymore than they did.
in the stupidity of your own decisions, something you tried to excuse as mere young love, you too had make your move to try fix something that perhaps should stay broken. yet it worked, perhaps momentarily. he cracked, faint smiles etched onto his face whenever he'd see you. his calloused hands would stop wiping tankards with a damp cloth just to press a soft kiss to your head when you visited him at work, his focus no longer on the tavern or work for a few seconds.
on days where the sun hugged mondstadt, basking it in golden light that brought smiles out on every face in the city, you'd find diluc among the grapevines, his sleeves folded up to his elbows as he partakes in some hard labour around the winery; after all, he still cared enough to give his workers a day's rest to enjoy the sunshine. you'd join him, happily harvesting grapes in delicate grasps of your hand however diluc wouldn't fail to miss you popping the occasional one into your mouth with a cheeky grin.
regardless of the lingering touches and gentle, featherlight kisses, nothing could truly fix him, could it? for all you know, your attempts had been nothing more than another day, another week, another month for the redhead. the same redhead that you'd dedicated hours to - that you'd dedicated your heart to. what a fool, placing something so delicate into the hands of someone who didn't know how to take care of it.
diluc wishes he'd told you that sooner. he wishes the warnings had slipped from his chapped lips into the night air on the evening you'd confessed your feelings, that he didn't give an ounce of care for love. he was going to focus on the winery, the business - his father's legacy. perhaps it was the only thing he had left to grasp of him now that he'd settled in the post-mourning phase of his young adult life but that twinkle in your eyes, how could he say no?
grumbling to himself, he sips at the bitter liquid in his glass before slamming it down moments later. it's supposed to taste sweet, at least that's what kaeya insinuates every time he steals a bottle from the cellar. diluc never cared, he never drank. he couldn't stand wine yet he kept producing it like it was his lifeblood but here he was, ruby eyes boring into the dark red liquid that fills the winery's infamous glasses his mother had collected when he was still too young to remember.
adelinde lurks in the shadows, a frown adorning that pretty face all the other maids gushed over; she didn't look a day over her age, still as youthful as ever as if she hadn't watched the young masters grow up into grown men with differing personalities nonetheless. a soft sigh escapes her lips, her hands clasped in front of her neatly pressed apron as she makes her presence known.
"i thought i'd never see you drink wine." she comments, her eyes drinking in the way diluc's body tenses in the orange glow of the candle on his desk. his gaze lifts to her, softening ever so slightly when he sees the maid. he feels vulnerable - no, he is vulnerable. nothing will bring back the relationship he'd thrown out so effortlessly like paper in the breeze and that bites at him, tears at his flesh while he's still conscious. the thought makes his body ache more.
"first time for everything," his voice is hoarse as he replies, gruff as he leans back into the plush velvet of his desk chair. that familiar black coat with the fur trim hangs over the back of it and adelinde sighs again, "it's late, why haven't you retired for the night?"
he's sober, adelinde notes as she steps further into his office, her lithe hands lifting the bottle of wine he'd been drinking from to admire the label she'd seen no ends of times throughout her life. diluc watches without another word. he realises how absurd it must seem for him to be drinking the wine, so out of character it would probably turn his father in his grave but it drowned out the pain or at least, it dulled it for a while.
"you know i've never retired while you're still awake," adelinde retorts as she places the wine bottle back down on his desk. the thud draws diluc to his senses and he clears his throat, pulling his large hand away from the glass as he seats himself upright, "you're still thinking about them?"
"do you think... they'd let me back in, adelinde?" he asks in his moment of vulnerability, his rough fingertips tracing over the rings that decorate his fingers. adelinde's lips pull into a tight line, "if i pulled myself together and let them see it happen... do you think they'd let it happen?"
adelinde knows the answer is no, she'd caught wind weeks ago that you'd moved on from the situation and was fixing your wounds in the aftermath of what had happened. she'd uttered it to diluc before but it appears he'd either had one glass too many or he'd chose to ignore it in a delusional hope to fix himself again.
"master diluc, you know-" she cuts herself off, her eyes sorrowful as she drinks in the way his lower lip trembles. his breath is shaking, vulnerable and she's reminded of the young boy who'd come running to her whenever master crepus scolded him for his mischievous antics.
"i fucked up, i know," he groans, a slight crack in his voice as his hands bunch into fists on the arms of his chair. adelinde makes a soft noise in response, "and now i just have to sit here, kicking myself with my gut in a knot while they're happier."
there's a silence that fills the office. wind creaks in the attic, adelinde realises she'll have to chase up the maintenance workers on fixing all the gaps and there's a subtle crackle of the flame burning on diluc's desk. she takes note of the dark circles under the young man's eyes, hollowing his pale face from the lack of sleep he'd been receiving since he cut things off with you.
at least, that's the story he told her - that he was the one to cut the ties holding the pair of you together. it wasn't the truth and diluc thinks he'll never utter the truth to anyone, a possibility as to why he'd stopped drinking wine the moment adelinde made herself known. he's a lightweight and he's self aware, the last thing he wants is to spill out the truth like a sobbing mess, tears staining his cheeks while his breath reeks of alcohol.
the truth was you'd been the one to finish things to protect yourself. your hands clasped around your breaking heart, trembling and shaking in a last ditch effort to stop things from collapsing completely. diluc couldn't love, not in your eyes. you'd tried so hard but you knew behind the acts of affection, he wasn't there. it was as if you was kissing a ghost, someone who lacked the will to be in that situation.
in the long term, it made you feel unloved. that's when you began to recognise that you was holding pieces of your shattering heart and desperately trying to piece it back together again, fumbling endlessly with your own heart all while you tried to force feed love into the winery owner - the one who undoubtedly was up until that point, your lover.
diluc doesn't blame you for your decision but he regrets it, every ounce of it. he considers that the whole relationship could have been avoided but at the same time, by the time you'd ended things, he'd began to crave your touch, your love, your kisses. he'd hear your voice when you wasn't even present. it happened too late however and now he pays the price, the heartbreak of his own regrets for not trying harder.
this truth he'd keep locked in his shallow heart, his lips pursed into a tight line as his eyes drag over the quill on his desk - yet again, another thing he doesn't dare bring into this conversation with the maid. he'd wrote you numerous letters, just begging to hear from you so that mayhaps his heart could rest a little.
he would tear every one of them up and only one of them was ever sent.
"diluc!" your voice chirps in his memory, your cotton shawl drifting in the infamous breeze of mondstadt as you stand upon the grass hill, clouds decorating the blue sky above your head. a smile graces your face, that specific one that he adored despite never mentioning it to you - a mistake on his behalf. your eyes crease with your smile, a gentle laugh reverberating from you, "hurry up!"
diluc finds himself trudging up the grassy slope to join you, his fateful beloved. his shoes find dips to keep his footing in the steepest parts, a calloused hand occasionally pressing to the sharp grass blades to stop him slipping. eventually, he joins you. he stands at your side, drinking in your face in sheer admiration before it dawns on him that this isn't his reality, not anymore.
the bedsheets are damp when he wakes, moonlight still filtering through the large ornate glass windows of his chambers. an exasperated breath escapes his lips, his tongue darting out to wet them as his head falls back onto the feather filled pillows. fiery red hair sprawls out beneath him, no longer tied up as tears sting at his eyes, threatening to spill in the vulnerable silence left in his wake.
every time he gets too close, mere inches from a promised happiness within his grasp, he just goes and messes it up, like always.
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@zamorazz, @zworllyx
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what-even-is-thiss · 9 months
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i've been reading some of your arguments for why you wouldn't be vegan and just wanted to point out that you have a lot of fallacy in your arguments. might want to do a look in there to make sure you are stating your morals/prose properly, and aren't using any arguments that can be easy to shutdown. appeal to tradition. appeal to futility and the argument that personal pleasure(taste etc) allows us to do what we want to others without consent to their bodies is a moral issue i don't think you align with but i could be mistaken. a lot of people who enjoy sex don't rape for example.
i also liked the taste of animal flesh and organs but realized my personal pleasure i got from consuming them pales when it is placed against the value of someone's life and what they have to endure for me to get that on my plate, it's easy to have a disconnect when you don't know. health, animals, earth all benefit from a plant based diet. a plant based diet can feed more people for cheaper, helping to end hunger.
you can say you cook "more vegetarian" but i implore you to continue your growth and align your actions with your morals and continue to strive for a plant based diet in the future. you don't seem like a cruel person but i could be wrong. i've been vegan for 15 years and i cook so many amazing meals and can tell you from experience you don't have to limit yourself to oatmeal. if you have time to watch/listen id implore you to check out gary yourofsky "the most important speech you will ever hear"
good luck to you on aligning your moral values with the actions you take daily/what you pay for.
Okay. Do you say these same things to vegans that wear cotton? That also kills a lot of animals. Like a lot of them. It hurts entire ecosystems.
There’s no way to buy stuff in our current economy that doesn’t hurt somebody or something. I know how to cook tasty and cheap and mostly healthy meals for myself and the easiest way to do that is with pre-cut veggies, eggs, and the occasional poultry.
Yeah I’m wasting plastic. Yeah I’m eating animals. Vegans eat almonds and quinoa. Those are bad farmed at an industrial scale.
Being an omnivore is natural and I don’t feel bad about it. If you look me in the eyes and ask me if I could kill a chicken the answer is yes. I’ve done extensive research on how to do it safely, actually. If the apocalypse comes I’m raising hens for meat.
Also comparing animal agriculture to rape? Couldn’t find literally anything else to compare it to? Really?
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aren’t promises meant to be broken?
at 17 sirius promised to always be there for you whenever you need him. now 3 years after your break up, sirius has yet to break this promise.
tags: sirius black x f!reader,, magical nuisances,, exes to friends to lovers,, hurt and comfort,, fluff,, angst,, slytherins + pandora,, no voldy
a/n: took me an embarrassing amount of time to finish but i’m kinda soft for this fic ngl
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people never stay friends with their exes. even with the promises of being one when breaking up. most find it, understandably, too awkward to continue any sort of relationship with them.
you would have been one of those people, at least you think so. but certain circumstances have deemed this preference a futile thought.
“i can’t believe you got me here to clean your bathroom.” sirius glared, peeling off the rubber gloves off his hands and slumping down on the breakfast nook.
“someone had to do it.” you shrugged, “it wouldn’t be the first time,” you smiled, vanishing the gloves and cleaning the table too. before placing a plate in front of him filled with sausages, toast and beans.
“that’s the fucked up part! it isn’t even my first time doing this.” he groans, grabbing a fork that you immediately slapped away.
“wash your hands first, you animal.”
he whines a protest but gets up anyway, rubbing his slapped hands as he does so—pouting because he’s dramatic like that.
“aren’t you going to eat with me?” he asks, his back turned to you as he washes his hands.
you were almost going to say yes, out of habit, having done so numerous times before. but remembered belatedly, the date set up by regulus with one of his work colleagues. a proper fit to you, he said. “no, i’m meeting somebody for dinner later.”
he closes the tap, turning to you again. “dinner? with who?”
you clicked your tongue at the dripping mess he’s making on the floor. grabbing paper towels and tossing it to him to wipe it himself. “some bloke from regulus’ work.”
“regulus? another date then?”
you nodded, feeling a bit uncomfortable at the idea of talking about dates your ex’s brother set you up with.
he frowned. going back to the table and grabbing the fork to start eating the warm food. “i see,”
and that was, thankfully, the end of that.
you didn’t really want to delve into your dating life with anyone, much less your ex-boyfriend of all people—no matter how many times he cleans your bathroom. it was already morbidly pathetic, how your friends seem to think you needed help finding someone new and to move on with.
but in your defence, it is rather difficult finding someone who would be okay with your, er, arrangement with your ex.
it is all sirius’ fault, really, but what isn’t? accidentally making a magically-binding promise to you, seems just like the type of thing he would do. and he has.
ever since he made that promise at 17 when you’ve just started dating, sirius has been showing up in your life, ready to help you with anything you need. you thought of this is in a more figurative sense, but no. that was too simple.
instead, whenever you need something. maybe something as simple as scratching your back, to partaking in a monthly bathroom cleaning, sirius would just appear out of thin air into your house, or wherever you need him, and he would be required to do it else he wouldn’t be able to leave.
when you were dating, this was something you both enjoyed, sometimes even looked forward to. using it as an excuse to latch unto each other the whole day. but now, having been spilt for how many years now (3 but who’s counting?) you can imagine how this magic promise has become a nuisance in your everyday life.
you tried resisting it, of course. though the power of will and mental fortitude can only do so much when you can’t reach the top shelves of your kitchen. forget about avoiding your ex, when he can just pop in whenever, wherever, when you get so much as a paper cut. you can see how the novelty of the situation can run its course. so much so, you sort of just learn how to deal with it instead of fighting it.
you’ve learned to use this to your advantage, of course, making him do chores around the house, makes him a great house elf without the moral issues of owning one.
he was also quite reluctant, when you both broke up, but that was to be expected. he had tried moving away to france, thinking the distance might prevent him from showing up. but that only made it difficult to explain to the travel officers how he can exit the country without violating travel wizarding laws.
regardless of the reluctant acceptance of such peculiar arrangement, you still have that hope you can somehow reverse it.
this particular hope always trampled by your friends’ insistence to utilize your situation to your extreme satisfaction.
“i don’t understand why you would want to remove it, to be honest.” dorcas frowned flipping through the pages of magical vows and contracts, vol.2. “i mean if i had someone doing things for me all day long, i certainly wouldn’t complain.”
“are you joking? why would anyone want to stay bound to their ex?”
she looked over to you, tone playfully mocking, but mocking regardless. “you mean an ex who does everything you need him to?”
“well, how would you feel if lily was always around you doing stuff for you?”
“oh please, if lily was bound to me, cleaning my bathroom wouldn’t be the only thing she would be doing.”
you grimace, “spare me the details, i beg of you.”
“so you wouldn’t like it if you and sirius partook… in certain late night activities?” she hummed.
you sputter out scandalized gasps, face feeling gruesomely warm, “don’t be disgusting! i have no intentions of ever doing anything with him and i assume he share the sentiments, a-and it is appalling that you think so—!” you breathed in deep, willing your face to relax and to settle your wild heart. “i don’t need him to be anything other than a reluctant acquaintance.”
pandora laughs from the floor, “not even considering him as a friend? poor sirius.”
you huff, embarrassed and frankly a bit betrayed.
you friends have convinced themselves of sirius’ intentions to be more than what is required of him. pushing you of all people to act upon seducing him using your gods given womanly assets, as pandora had once labelled.
you abruptly stood up from the table, going over to the stove to reheat the water to make more tea. “besides, i am perfectly capable of handling things by myself, thank you very much.”
it’s dorcas who laughs this time, “what do you mean? just last week, he had to bandage your finger for you because you bit your cuticle to blood. you are entirely dependent on him at this point.”
you huff, “i am not. i am a woman capable of attending to my own needs. that was the bind’s requirements of it all, i have to let him do these things or the bond won’t ever let him leave, you know this already.” you groan, rolling your eyes. “my point still stands. i don’t need him, nor will i ever need him. i just want all of this out of my life and in the past, like it should have been.”
“doesn’t he have his own room in this house by now?”
“it’s not his room, it’s a guest room— that he frequently uses. there’s a difference.”
it was pandora munching on peanuts, wholly amused that responded next, “right,” she drawled, “and that’s why he has his clothes folded and tucked away in the closet.”
“oh piss off, the nuisance sometimes happens in the middle of the night. how could i let him go home so late? what kind of host would i be?”
“couldn’t he just go home straight after?” dorcas asks.
“is it a nuisance, still?” pandora asks.
you cross your arms, petulant, “he can, but he chooses not to. and yes, still.” you scoff, “i know you think something filthy is happening but i particularly don’t enjoy his impromptu trespasses, believe me.”
“i don’t know, you two seem to be getting along quite well.”
“me and that useless oaf? are you joking?”
pandora smiled sweetly, “hardly useless now, i hear.”
“and what did you hear?”
“takes care of you quite well, what with dinner invites with the potters and even travelling?”
you turned around, fiddling with the tea cups, hoping to hide your darkening flush. but you know it did nothing, judging by their giggles.
“travelling?” dorcas inquired, interest piqued.
you don’t see her but you can sense her teasing smile.
you have yet to share that tidbit of embarrassing info to her. mainly because you don’t know how to squeeze it in and you don’t know how to even begin.
you did go to the potters for one random dinner. the invite came after sirius had come and helped you arrange your home library. it was just a simple dinner. filled with other people, hardly anything scandalous.
the travelling together was accidental. you were off to travel with bloke #4, as graciously dubbed by sirius (someone regulus had set you up with at the time) off to a romantic getaway for the weekend to a hot spring up the mountains. only to get thirsty halfway through your trip and have sirius show up in your train compartment only in his boxers and fluffy bunny slippers.
there were no other stops in the train. anti apparition wards set up and the floo connection was severed in the hotel to promote exclusivity, sirius had to join in on the activities through his relentless insistence. he had ate and laughed obnoxiously loud - sitting dangerously close to you the entire trip. he had constantly went on a tangent, reminiscing about your past relationship ranging from random dates to the make out spots you’ve frequented together in hogwarts. safe to say that was the last time you’ve heard from bloke #4.
but you could hardly think to be upset about that. you quite… enjoyed yourself.
but you’ll be damned before you admit that to these two vultures.
taking a deep breath, “there was no dinner invites nor travelling. it was—“
“magical nuisance, yes, yes.” pandora waves off.
you roll your eyes again, grabbing the hot kettle to steep the tea. “stop trying to make things—ah! fuck, ow.” you hiss, holding your painfully warm, stinging fingers. you see the tiny boils already appearing on your skin, the piercing pain shooting through your fingers. you squeezed your hand, hoping to elevate some of the pain.
sirius made a quick move to grab your wrists to pull you to the sink. you didn’t even hear him arrive.
“what happened?” he asks, silver eyes looking at you in intense worry. softly holding your hand under the cold running water gliding down your hand. he was standing so close to you you could smell a tiny hint of his soap. you slowly start to relax.
that is before you catch dorcas’ glinting gaze and pandora’s knowing smile. both of which you vehemently ignore, as you stare at your red fingers and his much larger hand on yours.
“i burned my fingers on the kettle.”
“goodness love, you have to be more careful.”
“sorry.” you mumbled, but having no idea why you would even apologize in the first place. still, you feel the heat of your hand spread to your body.
dorcas, having stood up to help you sat back down again, “hello, sirius. right on time as always.” she called, a cetain lilt in her voice you nervously recognized.
“sirius black, what a coincidence.” pandora sing songs, no subtlety whatsoever.
oh, they are just the worst.
he regarded them both in an overly familiar smile (an ex shouldn’t give to his ex’s friends) and in a light teasing tone as he says “good evening, ladies. why do i get the feeling like you’ve been gossiping about me?”
“you might have been mentioned once or twice.” pandora shrugged.
sirius softly laughs, the sound barely heard over the sink, before he stares at your fingers again, rubbing his thumb over the sensitive skin. before looking at you with a teasing smirk to which you only roll your eyes at.
you see shuffling in your peripheral, meeting your friend’s eyes, you see them gesture to you and sirius. trying to wordlessly communicate to you with wide smiles. you imagine something akin to, see? what did we tell you? not useless right? nuisance my ass. look at you guys holding hands under the water.
as if just realizing it now, you pull your hand away from his grip in an embarrassed haste, as he slowly lets go with a small frown etched on his face.
drying his hands on the towel, as he leans down to unnecessarily whisper to you. “i’m going to get a burn salve, i’ll be quick.”
“it’s in the—“
“bathroom, yes, angel, i know. just wait for me.” he drawled, giving you a wry smile.
you stare at his retreating figure. you almost want to laugh at his serious reaction to a simple burn from a kettle. hardly calls for any salve. but you kept the comments in, for whatever reason. a fluffy, dangerous feeling erupting in your chest.
you hear dorcas whistle to get your attention, a smirk on her face, “angel?”
when the promise first happened, it was during graduation from hogwarts. absolutely gutted by the fact that your parents didn’t show. they’ve been vocal about their disappointment that you weren’t able to finish at the top of your class. but you had hoped they would still show. you were, after all, still their kid.
but there was noticeably empty seats in an area reserved for your family. so, naturally as any teenager, the next best thing you could do in the situation is cry alone in a bathroom.
though the lack of company didn’t last too long, because then your boyfriend appeared, looking to be in a middle of taking pictures if his big and goofy face is anything to go by.
he heard you, before he saw you. hearing your soft sniffles and the tiny hiccups from your mouth. at the time, you both didn’t question what had happen. why he was inside the girl’s bathroom, why is there a strange pull to follow your every whims. but he was suddenly there to comfort you, and make you smile again—who were you deny his services?
you both only managed to understand what was happening by the third time it happened. sirius suddenly appearing by your bedside, wet and covered in suds. he was in the middle of showering and you promptly freaked out, seeing large bits you weren’t ready to see yet.
but understanding why it was happening didn’t mean both of you would be prepared anytime it actually happened.
the bind didn’t pick and choose when, where, and why he would appear. there was an embarrassing moment when he showed up in the bathroom when you’ve ran out of tissue paper. also at your house during dinner when you needed salt, to which your parents justifiably freaked out at the sight of a boy, claiming to be your boyfriend.
this hasn’t changed years later.
now as you lie in your bed, feeling the scratchy feeling in your throat. you knew by the tingles in your arms. the thrumming static of your magic within you— letting you know of his arrival before you could even sit up.
there he was, your ex-boyfriend, like the days before. it was terribly late, and he was struggling to even stand straight as he yawns in the middle of your room, wearing a set of well-loved teddy bear pajamas.
“somethin’ wrong baby?” his voice deep, hoarse and low. something exciting spiking through your veins, making you more awake.
you knew, if he was more alert he wouldn’t have called you that.
you try not to think why you feel miffed by that fact.
“jus’ some water please.” you call softly from your bed.
he yawns again, rubbing his flat belly, “okay.” he breathes, walking in the darkness of your room with practiced ease.
you hear the small sounds of clanks in the kitchen, and the fridge being pulled open.
he knew you liked you water cold. he knew where your drinking glasses were. he knew where you keep the salves. he knew your apartment in the dark.
in the beginning, especially after your relationship ended, you associated this binding promise as an act of forceful requirement. at best, you see it as a favour you give to a stranger. but lately, especially in the quiet of your house, the pet names that keeps slipping out of his mouth as of late—you start to dangerously think of this as something else. as something more. as something painfully familiar.
he comes back quiet, siting on the bed near your thighs, as he hands you the cool, moist glass. his hair was tousled more than usual. there were sleeping marks on his face. he was probably already asleep before you needed him here.
you feel a little bit guilty, but you see his flushed cheeks through the soft glow of the moon outside your window, and the hooded gaze he desperately tries to keep open. you fight back a smile instead.
“is that all, baby?” his hand softly smoothing your hair at the back of your head. your room felt ridiculously warm.
“thank you.” you murmured before setting the glass on the bedside table.
he gives you one last sleepy smile, eyes closed and his hair toppling over his eyes. “okay, if that’s all—“
“are you going back?” you cut in, holding his wrist, your finger on his pulse. keeping him seated before he could even stand. before his warmth leaves your bed.
“i don’t have to..” he offers. like always, giving you the choice to draw the line.
you hesitate before you answer, letting go of his wrist, “it’s late..” and that’s all you say, and apparently that’s all he needs.
“is it alright then, if i stay the night? then i can leave in the morning?” he whispers back. his warm hand, touching your thigh over the covers. he felt so far away.
you don’t do this, not usually. but in the dark space of your room you feel more confident. more assured. braver.
you move slightly to the side, giving him space, “if you want.” conveniently forgetting the existence of the spare room. choosing to blame it on the lack of sleep.
he smiles, moving the covers. the short moment of exposure making you shiver in the cold. he notices, quickly sliding into bed with you. arms stiffly on his sides and yours crossed across your chest.
still not brave enough.
you feel him shuffle, laying on his side and facing you. his fingers just barely grazing your sides in a soft touch.
you fell asleep faster than any other night, hearing him breath near your ear.
you dream of a teary conversation from a time not so long ago, of desperate pleas not to leave you. and when you feel his arm curl around your waist. you dreaming of nothing for the rest of night.
the next morning, you woke up later than you would have, and see the too empty space next to you. the pang in your chest, grossly familiar.
it had been a month since the night he’s stayed with you. not a breath has been acknowledged about that night. choosing to ignore the lingering tension, the long stares and the awkward dispositions.
you don’t know whether to feel relieved or frustrated.
of course, your friends had noticed this - because hadn’t they been analyzing each of your move when it comes to sirius black?
dorcas eventually had to force it out of you. to which pandora squealed and teased you in delight. insistent of the blooming change in your relationship.
“blooming change?” you repeated.
“what? it’s poetic!” she argues.
“it’s dumb,” regulus calls out. “y/n isn’t the kind to return to an ex, especially not to my dumb brother, right y/n?” he looks so earnestly confident. so much so that you couldn’t even lie to agree with him. truth be told, you have no idea if you were even the type to go back, regardless if it was reggie’s dumb brother or not.
because sirius has been your first boyfriend and if this bind continues on, he might be your last. you don’t know if that’s a good thing, all things considered.
everyone has turned to you now, in varying degrees of smugness, amusement, pride and playful pity.
dorcas laughs, saving you from answering. “i don’t know reggie, seems like y/n’s getting a little swayed.”
reggie reacts for you, as if offended. “she is not! she is actively going on dates and meeting new people.”
“oh?” dorcas smirked.
barty, sitting up straighter, “doesn’t he have a room here or something?”
you say, “no,“ “yes.” pandora quips, at the same time.
you rolled your eyes, “it’s a guest room—“
“one that conveniently went unused in one random night.” evan hummed, smirking, as he blew his smoke out the window.
pandora and dorcas ooh’ed.
“it was late! he was practically dragging himself from the floor, i couldn’t let him hurt himself after i interrupted his sleep, a-and he was already there, it’d be rude not to—i don’t even know why i’m explaining myself to you!— i don’t have to explain myself, because i did nothing wrong.” your met with four amused looks and one gut wrenchingly, disappointed one.
dorcas clicked her tongue, “i don’t know why you’re even fighting it at this point.”
“what do you mean by that?”
“i mean, you clearly want to be with him still.”
you sputter, sitting straighter, indignant as you say, “what gave you that idea?”
“the longing gaze.”
“acting all shy.” barty adds.
“the late night rendezvous,” evan hums.
“giving him his own room.” pandora pointedly looked at you.
“the inability to pursue any other relationship after him.” regulus tutted.
you gasp, betrayed. “even you reggie?”
regulus rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and legs, “i am running out of eligible acquaintances to set you up with, you know.”
you don’t even know how to respond to that.
frankly you can’t. because you know they were right, and dammit if that didn’t hurt your pride just a little.
still, ridiculously hung up on an ex that didn’t even love you. a joke, really.
but you relish in the idea of sirius being near you. it sends a certain tingle down your spine just knowing he’ll arrive anytime, and be there for you. you like how he always stands so close to you even if he doesn’t have to. you like how you don’t have to tell him what he has to do before he does it. you like the pet names naturally slipping past his pretty mouth. how he’s always touching you in some way. how familiar it feels. the habits, the conversations, the feelings—how easy it all seems.
but it isn’t. you know it isn’t.
because you’ve tried and failed.
you fell for him, loved him the way you know how. leaving nothing for yourself as you give everything for him. loving him with no expectations for him to do the same. and so, he doesn’t.
he couldn’t love you back. at least not in the way you entirely feel for him.
he couldn’t look past his life and the experiences he’d endured just to reach that moment in the past. it wrecked you. you didn’t expect anything, but it still hurt when you got nothing for everything you had.
you don’t like the reminder, but you know you need it. you know how destroying it is to forget. you’ve tried being with him already and it didn’t work. you say this to them, whispered, as if ashamed.
you don’t even feel the tears sliding down your check as you say this.
dorcas’ smile dropped and pandora immediately sat down beside you.
“hey, you know it won’t be like that again.” pandora rubbing your shoulders.
“do i?” you rasped. “what’s so different about now than before? what’s to stop us from breaking up again?”
“it’s going to be different because you are different, and so is he.” dorcas said. “you were just teenagers, you barely knew yourselves back then. you weren’t ready for each other yet. he had issues to work out, and you had to grow up a little to understand that.”
you sniffled, “and you think we’re ready.”
“yes,” they all said.
dorcas reaching over and squeezing your hand, “i know you’re both ready.”
you shake your head, you don’t know if that’s true, “our forced proximity lasted longer than our actually relationship. and it’s only lasted this long because it’s just that—forced.”
pandora shook her head, dangling earrings clinking together. “that’s not true. it’s lasted this long because you wanted it to. you both wanted it to.”
evan nodded, smothering his cigarette butt and throwing it outside, “i, personally, wouldn’t want to spend any second with any of my exes, but you both didn’t even try finding any sort of solution to break the promise.”
barty gives you an awkward smile, as evan continues “if you had wanted to call it quits you would’ve found a way to end all of this the moment he had broken up with you. but you didn’t—“
“that’s because i couldn’t—“
“don’t lie,” regulus cut in, pouting, looking a bit like a petulant child. “we all know you could have found something in this ridiculously large library of yours.”
“why are you suddenly advocating for sirius and i to get back together again?”
regulus clicked his tongue, looking away. a slight flush on his cheeks. “i’m not advocating anything.” he huffs. “he’s an idiot who doesn’t deserve you. but if it’s sirius that ultimately makes you happy. then so be it.”
you swallow a lump, breathing a staggering breath, “i don’t know if he even—“
“he does.” regulus looking at you, eyes clear and sure. “he wouldn’t be so cross with me for setting you up with dates if he doesn’t.”
that same night, sirius, for once, was not summoned by you but of a call from regulus.
he already feels the natural flare of irritation, bracing himself for another round of teasing hums and provoking stories about how you’re on a date in an exclusive restaurant, with a bloke who’s ready to give you everything you need.
standing up from james’ couch, going to the kitchen to block the noise from the muggle telley, as remus called it. then accepting the call,
“i swear if you’re calling just to gloat about another conquest you’ve put her through then—“
“she needs you.” regulus slurred.
feeling an immediate spike in his heartbeat. already grabbing his jacket and hurrying to the front door to leave.
“we’re in a pub, bring your motorbike or something, she can’t apparate right now, too drunk.”
“i’ll be there in 10.” grabbing remus’ keys off a bowl in the entrance.
“oi, where the hell are you taking my car?” remus shrieked from the couch.
without looking back, “she needs me.”
peter whines from the living room, “but the game-!”
and he only slams the door close as a response.
“we’re in the east village, near a fountain.” regulus sluggishly explained before hanging up.
sirius wasn’t the best driver. in hindsight, he probably should have asked remus to drive him to you. but this was about you. he could hardly think about anything else when it comes to you. he would do anything for you, binding promise or not.
he found it particularly odd and extremely worrying, why you’re drinking on a thursday night. he knew you couldn’t handle your alcohol well, always ending up drinking too much and passing out.
considering regulus had to call him to come get you didn’t help his nerves as he drove faster than the limit allowed.
when he arrived expecting the worse, he found himself smiling at the sight of you.
you were laying your head on regulus lap as you both sat on the bench. he can hear barty and pandora trying to lift each other. dorcas and evan cheering them on.
but all he can see is you laying there. eyes closed and cheeks darkly flushed, dress splaying over your thighs. regulus smoothing your hair, lulling you to sleep. when he met his brother’s eyes. the younger black rolled his eyes and beckoned him over.
“took you long enough.” regulus grumbled, now sounding sober than when he called.
“is she okay?” sirius asks, crouching down and staring at your sleeping face for any signs of discomfort or pain.
regulus sighs, “just got a bit carried away, this one. she was… upset tonight so we let her have her fun an—“
“upset?” sirius cuts, couldn’t help the finger tracing your cheek and jaw. your nose twitching at his action. “why was she upset?”
regulus waves his hand, making vague gestures but offering no explanation. sirius frowns.
“i can take her home,” standing up, now as he calls out to the others. “does anybody else need a ride?”
all four heads, shook their heads and offered varying words of thanks. “you reggie?”
“don’t bother, i’m perfectly capable.” he tuts. “be careful of that metal beast.”
with slow movements, sirius slides his arms under your neck and the back of your thighs. making sure your dress stay tucked and you comfortably napping before lifting you up.
once lifted, your head turns to the crevice of his neck, burying your nose and breathing in deep. wrapping your own arms around his neck with practiced ease and familiarity.
his heart thrumming and slowing all the same. he likes you like this, so close to him and looking so content as you do now.
nodding his goodbyes to the others, as he walks to the car again. opening the car door proved to be a challenge what with an armful of you. but he managed to do so without jostling you too much. he didn’t want to wake you, but such actions proved to be futile as the moment you were placed in the passenger seat, you froze awake.
he tries to appease you with a gentle smile, brushing your hair behind your ear. “hi love, i’m getting you home today, is that alright?”
“siri?” you rasp, looking at him like he wasn’t real. his chest pounding as he sees your eyes glossing and shining with unshed tears. he immediately crouch down in front of you, grabbing of your hands, and peppering soft kisses on your knuckles.
“what is it, my love, why are you crying?”
“you’re here?”
he nodded, kissing your knuckles again. “i’m here.”
you said nothing, just staring at him. looking so lost and tearful. he feels a little guilty thinking you to be heart-clenchingly adorable, right now. looking so soft and precious, the urge to stay the night in the parking lot and just stare at you was strong but he knows he has to take you home, else you get sick.
he thought you were to say nothing else. so, he stood to close the door and head to the driver’s seat but you whined. tugging at his hand still in your clasp and pull him to you. tucking his head into your neck and burying your hand in his hair.
this is entering dangerous territories now, he thinks. one he very much like to continue venturing but he knows you weren’t sound of mind right now. so he refrains from touching you anymore than he has. his hands desperately clutching to the cold, hard car, substituting for your soft, pretty skin.
you whine, “don’t go.”
“‘m not going anywhere, baby. i’m just going to the seat next to you.” he mumbled, his lips agonizingly grazing your skin, he ignores the way your body shivers and the filthy thoughts that come with it. his hands gripping the car tighter.
“next to me?”
“yes, next to you.”
you eventually let him go, but not without constant coaxing.
he drives, slow and steady. avoiding potholes and uneven roads. you fell asleep again, from the slow, quiet drive and the soft, mellow music coming from the radio.
then sooner than he had liked, he parks in front of your house. he kills the engine and he whispers his calls to you. not sure whether he wants you awake to be feeling okay enough to walk or asleep so he can touch you again.
he moves when you stay quiet, doing everything he can to keep you from waking up. letting out a soft hiss each time a creak or a thump echoes in your quiet house.
when he finally, finally reaches your bedroom and lays you there, he’s quick to take off your shoes. then the realization of his next move taunts him. although, you looked very pretty with your dress, he doesn’t know if he should change your clothes into something more comfortable for you.
he knew an intense hungover when he sees one. getting up to change clothes isn’t pleasant with a raging headache. he stares at your laying figure. the thin strap of your dress slipped down, and your legs looking longer than he remembers.
he looks away before he sees anymore. it didn’t feel right, looking at you that way. especially whilst unconscious.
he open your dresser, knowing the drawer you keep your pajamas.
he sees a familiar, more faded than he remembers, shirt he always wore. the thought of you wearing his clothes makes him too happy and giddy for an adult man.
he fights his heart from beating too loudly. afraid you’ll hear. bites his lips to stop his giddy grin, and forces his eyes to focus on his search. but eventually did land on his old shirt and some long bottoms so you’d be warm.
he slid the bottoms first. careful not to touch your skin but very much feeling the heat of your thigh. he held his breath as he reached the curve of your bum. stopping and not knowing what to do next. with one arm he lifts you slightly off the bed. and with his eyes clenched tight, fast and frantic hands—holding his breath as he went to pull it up.
next was his your shirt. he had you sit up, head laying heavy on his shoulders. softly pulling back from you to slip the shirt over your head before letting you lean into him again. guiding your arms and pulling the soft tee down.
with a bated breath, he feels for the zipper at the back of your dress.
fingers touching and sliding over your back. the touch leaving a lingering static in his fingers. when he clutched the thin tiny thing, he slide it down. slowly, careful not to pinch your skin.
he hears you sigh from relief, letting himself smile, knowing he did a good job.
he lets you lay back down, properly this time, slip off your dress, cleans your face with a warm wet face towel.
he knows he should go. he knows to let you get your rest and sleep. knows he should return remus’ car. knows the lads are probably waiting for him. but there is no urge to leave. instead he stares at your clean bare face, the soft lines and pretty marks on your face just adds more to your allure.
he didn’t know how long he stared at you. it could’ve been a minute to a full hour, too busy studying your face, seeing all the new marks and the familiar ones, committing them to memory.
he was about to leave, lest he bothers you and wake you up. but you stirred.
stretching as you did so. and blearily stared at him. expectant and quiet.
your voice hoarse but genuine all the same. “it’s late..” he knew what you mean. the unspoken invitation, just like last time.
and he wants to—god he wants to.
“i can’t baby,” you were drunk, he wasn’t. it wouldn’t be fair.
“you’re leaving again?”
that did him in, slumping down on the bed. rubbing your outer thigh through your covers. “i’ll stay then, just rest.”
“but you’ll just leave me like last time.” you mumbled.
he gives you a lopsided smile, apologetic and painfully endeared all the same, “i had to, my love, i had work.”
“no,” you breathed, softly shaking your head, letting out a staggering breath like you were going to cry. “i meant the first time.” you whispered.
it was shameful the way he slowly realized what you had meant. you didn’t sound angry or bitter. or even resentful even if you had all the rights to.
he didn’t respond. letting your words stew in his mind. the quiet in the entire house emphasized by the ringing in his ears. he didn’t know what to say.
what words you were waiting for him to say. what words he can say to make it all better.
he didn’t even know you still think about that. still thinking about your relationship, and what had happened, and why it ended the way it did.
still thinking about it like him, who sometimes find it difficult to sleep thinking about you and the pain he caused you. the regret heavy in his veins like lead.
he should apologize, probably beg or grovel about the way it ended.
he was about to.
but he hears your soft breathing again. the stillness in your body, only sleep can make that he realizes he’s lost his chance.
again.
he rubbed your thighs, still. hoping to lull you into a deeper sleep. he grabbed a glass of cold water and put a statis charm so it would stay cool. he petted your hair, and caressed your cheek. it was painful, and he struggled. but he eventually left. feeling the same amount of fulfilled and disappointment altogether.
it was the next morning where sirius was beckoned again, this time not by a call from his baby brother but by the usual pull of your magic. he had expected as much, even fixed up his hair and wore fresh clean clothes and even put on perfume.
he did it whenever he could. in case you were to need him.
he even has a couple of hungover potion in his pocket just in case.
when he got summoned, popping into your familiar bedroom like the nights and mornings before. he was greeted with you still buried under the covers, eyebrows scrunched and eyes already open. you looked like you’ve been awake for some time now, but still refused to move.
you looked so tired and groggy and so soft and warm and homely and pretty.
someone with a hungover shouldn’t look as good as you did. but you are. he ignores the flutters in his stomach, tightening into a coil and puts on an easy smile.
“good morning dizzy girl.” he sing songs. plopping down on your bed, making sure to bounce you a little as he did.
you groan some more, turning away from him, holding your head.
he softly laughs. reaching over to smooth out your hair, “did you drink water?”
“hn.”
he took that as a no.
“up you go, c’mon. drink, you’ll feel better.” he grabs the glass. still filled full and cool like last night.
sliding his rough hands under your neck and the other to your back. slowly sitting you up so you can drink. you give little to no protest at all at his touch and considers this a win. his lips feeling a little wobbly as he fights a smile.
you took a small sip and then a larger gulp, sighing after finishing the whole glass.
“i also have a hangover potion and a headache one that lily made, so you know it’s good—“
“you left again.” you rasped, a small frown on your pretty face, still turned away from him.
he stops.
it suddenly dawns on him how you’ve yet to look at him, or greet him like you do when he always appears. he chalked it up to you being hungover or the highly probable headache you must have. not sulking, or possible moping over the fact that he hadn’t waited for you until morning.
he feels his heart take up larger room than normal in his chest. the loud thrumming under his veins as his magic comes to life, the burning desire of it all, the ringing in his ears, his pulse loud and the heat coming to his face.
you weren’t playing fair.
“i’m sorry,” he whispers, scooting near you. reaching out to wrap his arms around your shoulders, then lightly tugging you to him, to lean on him like you did the night before. it was through his absolute delight that you let him.
giving him the courage to continue his ministrations.
“you said you’d stay.” you softly whined, voice muffled by his neck. your hands gripping his shirt.
so unfair.
he’s fully hugging you now. he tries to fight the sigh that threatens to come out of his mouth from having you in his arms again.
he hadn’t expected for you to remember last night, what with constantly falling asleep. he should’ve prepared for it though.
“i’m sorry.” he repeats. this more graver than the last. this apology carrying more weight and more reason, when he remembers your last question.
“you always leave.” he feels something wet touch his neck. his hearts clench, the image of your tears too clear for him. “always leaving me.”
he tries to lean back to get a good look on you but once you felt him move away, you tightened your grip. now wrapping your own arms around his waist. sirius doesn’t know how to feel. suddenly wrapped in your warmness and the familiar feeling and the guilt that you’re crying over him.
again.
causing you pain, again.
“i know, i’m sorry.” he hates that it’s all he can say. hates he can’t say anything else.
so you ask, “why?”
why?
he knows what you’re asking isn’t about why he’s sorry for leaving. he knows you’re asking something else. one withheld from you from the very beginning.
why do keep calling me nicknames?
why do keep touching me?
why do i feel this way?
why can’t you stay?
why did you leave?
why didn’t you love me back?
there’s a lot of answers he’s withheld from you but he starts from the one heavy on his mind.
he suddenly wonders if you’ve been left wondering too.
if it keeps you up at night, and having no one to answer it. if it eats you up and if you regret being with him, the same way he regrets ever leaving you.
“i didn’t think that— you would want me to stay, after what i did. i didn’t dare myself to even think you could still want me— or even be around my presence at all.” he says this quiet and so close to your ear.
you let him go now, leaning against the bed post instead.
sirius instantly wishing for you to come back into his arms again, but he refrains.
“you thought i didn’t want you?”
“who would?” he laughs, albeit a bit self-deprecating but hoping you’ll take it as a joke. you only frown. “sirius, of course i would still want you. you’re the best thing that happened to me.” your eyes looked so clear then, so sure.
so sure it burns him.
“but i hurt you. i caused you pain, i’ve disappointed you again and again—“
“you didn’t disappoint me.” you grab his hands, your touch still so soft like he remembers it. “i was hurt, yes, but that wasn’t your fault. it was my own fault for giving you more than what you were comfortable with.”
he shook his head, frowning hard. “don’t do that.”
“what?”
“be understanding,” he laughs, incredulous. “taking responsibility for me being a shitty boyfriend to you for being a complete arse to you.”
“you did what you could. what with everything you went through?”
he turns away, but you grab his face with your other hand, and tilts his chin up.
“all the things you’ve had to endure? i know you try to hide your struggles with it all. but i see you. i see all the things, all the extra steps you have to take to become better than what your parents set you out for. and now look at you, making it out on your own. making new friends, no trace of the anger and bitterness they tried so hard to embed in you. i loved you for it all, and i understood why you couldn’t, even if it hurt. because that’s how people love. you love someone even if they have all the capabilities to hurt you more than anything in the world— and i have loved you for so long. and i might’ve not understood this when we were younger, but i do now. i wasn’t asking for apologies because i’ve long forgiven you for everything in the past. but i wanted to know what it is you felt. why you felt the need to hide the reasons from me.”
he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
you let his face go. but he grabs it. incasing your hand in his.
mind sticking to one thing he feared.
loved?
has he lost his chance again?
have you deemed him unnecessary?
“you don’t—?” he sighs, stopping himself, that wasn’t important right now. especially not if you were looking at him, looking so patient.
he started slow, contemplative if he can articulate it well enough for you to understand. “i didn’t think i could ever be capable of love, or be anyone you could ever want and need. because you’re amazing. when you said you loved me for the first time, i thought i was dooming you. my family. my circumstances. i thought i was going to ruin you and i couldn’t live with the thought of doing that to you. so i thought that leaving would be for the best. i tried to leave. tried and convinced myself it was for you. that i had to let you go for you. but i couldn’t do it. selfish as it is, i couldn’t let you go.
“i even found a way to stop the bind, but thinking that my last connection with you would be gone, and you would forget about me—have a life without me there, i couldn’t. because, because i love you. i have loved you from the moment you smiled at me. it terrified me, how much i love you and how much i was willing to do anything for you. i love you more than i could ever understand and i’m sorry if i couldn’t say it that time, i’m sorry if this is a bit late, but i love being needed by you. i love being around you. i-i need you, more than you could ever need me.”
he didn’t notice the tears spilling to his cheeks before you wiped it away for him.
your eyes looking so soft.
“you love me?” you breathed.
as if it was unbelievable.
as if it wasn’t possible.
sirius hates himself a little more at the thought he might have caused some insecurity for you.
because it was ridiculous.
“i love you.” and like a broken record, he repeats it. again and again and again. much firmer than the last.
and you smile, so big and beautiful. and your eyes shining and so pretty. it was like the sun was shining so much brighter that day. like the clouds were opening up in the sky and bathing you in a golden glow.
he repeats it again, because he’s spent so many years holding himself back. and if your reaction is the same every time he says it then he’ll say it everyday. with every sentence, with every greeting, with every meal you cook for him. with every night he picks you up from a pub absolutely sloshed. with every irritating conversation he has with his baby brother. with every teasing quips from the lads. with every secret smile you give him. every time he touches you, every time he looks at you. because gods, don’t you look absolutely magnificent and unbelievable right now.
“i love you,” he repeats.
“i love you too.” you laugh. like your smile was getting too wide and too happy that you had to laugh.
and his heart soars. couldn’t stop himself even if he tried, as he leans in and captures your lips like he’s done so many times before.
thinking himself a proper idiot if he ever thought he could ever live without touching your lips ever again.
he touches your face like he did the night before. he grabs your waist like he always does. and he tilts your heads like a time before. he tastes a salty thing as your tears slides near his lips and he relishes in its taste.
he feels the warmth spreading to his entire face and body. feels the humming of his magic intertwining with yours. your soft mouth moving against him. and the stretch of your lips, smiling into the kiss.
he pulls away even if he didn’t want to.
“i love you,” he says again, and you smile at him so sweetly.
he repeats it because of your pretty smile.
and again. because he can.
957 notes · View notes
askinkiskarma · 1 year
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my andra baby 💕 a thought just crossed my mind, and if there's anyone who can write it, it's you. imagine neteyam and you using the throat microphone device one night, getting all needy and talking dirty, thinking no one else can hear you when suddenly, you’re interrupted by lo'ak, who accidentally fell asleep with the device on and is regretting all his life decisions upon hearing you two. just imagine 🥴
my lana the fact you came to me??? :((( i will cry real tears, i hope you enjoy my love x
also wow, that did things to me right before bed, my GAWD
wc: 950 words
warnings: 18+ minors DNI, aged-up!neteyam x reader, smut, strong language, phone sex, the tragic realisation that someone heard your phone sex, that's about it.
Na’vi compendium: tìyawn - love, tìlor - beauty
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Being in a secret situationship with a Na’vi, the Na’vi, your beautiful, strong, tall, blue, mouthwatering Neteyam… it had its moments. So many moments, so many good, good moments that made your eyes roll in the back of your head at the mere memories of them and your back arch in futile anticipation and ruin yet another pair of lace panties at the image of his body hovering over yours, his length slipping past your dripping folds, filling you up until you were so full you finally felt whole.
Being with Neteyam also had its challenges and conundrums, and the one that bothered you the most in the moment is your desperate ache for relief that only he could give, that he demanded only he provide for you. Neteyam was an overachiever, and he always aimed to please, and please you he did with every opportunity that presented itself, with every opportunity he made for himself. Neteyam heard a quote from Norm once that went something like “I am a man of fortune, and I must seek my fortune.” Neteyam always took that to heart, ever since he was a child, and he never took it more seriously than when he talked about the fortune of being in between your legs.
Alas, he wasn’t here, much like he couldn’t be most days, your biological differences enough to keep you from each other in two places that felt like worlds apart, especially tonight. But, with a smirk, you picked up the little radio choker and receivers quietly resting on your nightstand, that were intended and created for entirely different purposes, but which came in handy in… sticky situations like this one.
Sprawled on your mattress, a hand softly reached for one of your breasts, caressing it softly, catching one bud in between your thumb and index fingers and pinching, imagining it was his touch instead, the one you craved like air. The other hand went to the button resting on the choker, and with a slight pressure, you pushed it, whispering into it.
“Neteyam… are you still awake?”
You knew everyone would be asleep so far into the night, and none of them wore their radios to bed, except for one person, the one person whose tent you’d much rather be in right now, whose voice would have to suffice in this moment that seemed to drag on forever.
“What are you doing up so late, tìyawn?” Neteyam knew very well the answer to his own question, his voice almost a purr as his imagination of your state, the vision of your naked body all on display on your bed rushed the blood to his now rock hard cock, that was begging for a hand around it, for any release, as it was tugging at his loincloth uncomfortably.
“I need you, Teyam.”
“What do you need from me, baby?”
“Y-you… your touch, your voice. Please.”
“Does my pretty girl need me to make her cum? Do you need me to tell you all the ways I’d fuck you until your body trembled and writhed under me?
Your loud, inhibited moans egged him on, and with a soft, languid bob of his fisted fingers on his length, he continued.
“How I’d start off slowly, kissing your irresistible lips and your neck, down your collarbones and chest, how I’d suck on those amazing tits until they bruised, until I marked you, how i’d move slowly south, down your navel and your hips until I’d settle in between your thighs. Fuck, those thighs, and that pussy, they could drive a man to his knees, my love. If I ever for a second doubted Eywa, all that doubt would vanish looking at you, at your body, and the way it reacts to me, because no chance of the universe could have created something as perfect as you by accident.”
His words made you mewl into the mic, as your fingers found your folds, that were dripping in your slick as pressure build in your core, and while your touch wasn’t his, not as skilled nor as yearned for, it helped you build upon the imagery he created to reach the peak that would drive you to indescribably pleasures, that you would still share with him, despite the distance.
“Do you want me to tell you what a good girl you are as you’re taking my cock, in that pretty pussy, in your perfect mouth? What do you need, tìlor? To hear my groan as you squirt all over me, as you coat my tongue in your sweet juices? Is this what you need, pretty girl?”
Neteyam was pumping his cock harder and faster with each second he was picturing you in these scenarios that you’ve been in a thousand times before, in all the positions he would make you cum in, with each second he heard the whines and moans escaping your lips, and all the enticing noises as you were fingering yourself dumb, imagining it was him doing it instead.
“Neteyam, I’m - fuck! So c-close!”
“Me too, baby girl. You want to let go for me? Be a good girl and co-“
“COME THE FUCK ON!!! YOU DO REALISE THIS IS A FREQUENCY THAT THE WHOLE FAMILY HAS ACCESS TO, YOU PERVERTS?! I WAS HAVING A BEAUTIFUL DREAM ABOUT RIDING AN IKRAN AND IT TURNED INTO A TERRIFYING NIGHTMARE ABOUT YOU TWO RIDIN-“
You turned off the radio before Lo’ak could finish a sentence that you were sure was going to be the driving nail in your coffin of embarrassment, that might as well have been made out of lead, because you didn’t think you were ever coming out.
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taglist: @fanboyluvr @theycallmesia @yagirlheree
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hermajestyimher · 3 months
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Hello <3
I am currently 20, in the process of enhancing every aspect of my life so I would really appreciate if you could generously list your resources for self-improvement in general.
And one more question, how to make people take me more seriously? I am quite the youngest member in my family and everyone have always been so over-protective of me that they always see me as this little girl even though I am almost a grown woman lol.
Thanks!
Thanks for your question. I commend you for wanting to invest in yourself and self-improvement.
The resources I use to shape my mindset toward success are a mixture of books, podcasts, subliminals, and direct revelation from God. I'll break these parts down for you:
✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞
Books:
There are a lot of books out that deal with the topic of self-improvement and you are almost guaranteed to find some that will be able to help you in whichever area of your life you wish to get better at. The key, when it comes to these books, is that you have to find ones that you know you can action realistically in your life. Theory can be energizing and inspirational, but it is ultimately futile if you are unable to put the gained knowledge into reality.
You must seek books that are practical in their way of describing how to succeed in whatever subject they touch upon and focus exclusively on that specific book so that you may action its commands and see real results in your life.
I'll give you 5 books that I've used throughout the year that have helped me mold my character in meaningful and practical ways:
She Comes First, by Brian Nox.
Can't Hurt Me, by David Goggins.
The Alter Ego Effect, by Todd Herman.
Stop People Pleasing, by Patrick King.
Fabulosity, by Kimora Lee Simmons.
Podcasts:
Podcasts are a good way of keeping your mind "fed" constantly with content and knowledge from others. I use them not just for knowledge, but also for entertainment. I enjoy podcasts that deal with politics, human psychology and behavior, societal phenomena, travel and culture, business, success life stories, and even some niche topics of interest.
Whatever podcasts you choose to listen to will be a very personal choice. My rule of thumb is to not waste time listening to someone just because they seem authoritative in the field of self-improvement if the messages they are putting forward do not resonate with you. It's ok to be picky with this type of content.
Subliminals:
This is something that I've never touched upon before directly on my blog, but it is something that I've been digging into a lot lately and I've found has been positively impacting my life.
Subliminals are audio messages that we play in the background while we do other activities. The concept behind them is that our subconscious mind can pick up and internalize the messages being played and therefore can help in reprogramming our own internal self-concept and beliefs. It can help you manifest things because you genuinely believe that they are possible for you, rather than pretending.
Subliminals are extremely powerful because if utilized correctly they can help you shape your entire personality and perception of yourself towards one that is more self-loving, positive, and confident. It can help us erase the damage of harmful things we've internalized throughout the years and replace them with thoughts that are working in our favor.
If you or anyone else from the blog would like for me to dive deeper into this subject and share some of the subliminal that have helped me (including my own creations), please let me know!
God:
This part is simply all about having communion with God. I've found out that in the periods that I'm away from him and that I do not take our relationship seriously, I become an easier target for spiritual attacks and also less in tune with my spiritual gifts. It's hard to hear from him when my spiritual life is filled with so much baggage that does not come from him. And whether you are aware of it, everything around us is spiritual in one way or another: the music that we listen to, the people we spend time with, the places we live, the content we consume, the things we allow others to speak into our lives, etc.
It's important that I read my Bible, pray, and worship without ceasing. God purifies our spirits and removes bondages this way. He gives us a renewed mind full of discernment and peace. We can hear from him more clearly and be led through a path of prosperity.
This is something that I need to get back on with him, as I have fallen off throughout the years. But understanding that you do not have to make life alone and that investing in your spiritual life can only tenfold your riches in the physical realm is crucial for us to live a life of purpose and success.
✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞✧༺♥༻∞
I hope this list was helpful, and if you or other people would like to delve deeper into any of these or other subjects, please let me know.
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