#how to set goals for 2021

[shunsuiken]

HOW THE GENSHIN MEN FIND YOU DRUNK

pairing(s). kaeya, diluc, zhongli, childe, ayato, thoma, tighnari, kaveh, wanderer x gn!reader

genre. fluff + mentions of alcohol use ofc + reader is a lightweight (welcome to my life guys <3)

wc. 400-800 for each character

an. SOOOOO this was inspired by a cdrama i watched back in 2021 and when i saw it i just HAD to write about it <3 also i think i had a bit too much fun on zhongli’s and childe’s i hope its not so obvious dear god. also??? for some reason the ones i had the hardest time writing for ended up being the longer parts omg

kaeya alberich

after spending some time upstairs with a couple of treasure hoarders who were completely unaware of being thoroughly deceived by the cunning cavalry captain, kaeya decides to head down and run over the knowledge he collected with mond’s famed beverage, death after noon.

but as he walks down the staircase, he spots a familiar figure sitting by the bar. he squints his eye slightly, almost not believing the sight in front of him. is that y/n? on the high stool by the bar? dozing off to only a few shots of liquor? tonight just became even more interesting. now he’s starting to wonder what things you would say under the influence—for no shady reasons, obviously, as he genuinely enjoyed your company and witiful mouth. he’s just a curious man with the goal of unveiling a few other things about you.

he makes a beeline to the bar, setting himself on your right side so you’re in his line of vision. glancing around, he motions for charles for his death after noon. kaeya only turns to you once his drink arrives, quickly giving you a once over. seeing as how it looked like you came to angel’s share after work he might as well stir up a conversation.

your vision is blurry but you can definitely feel the presence of another person beside you. as you lift your head from your crossed arms, your brows crease in irritation. which imbecile decided to disturb your time alone? you’re literally brooding over the fact that captain kaeya would never be yours, so you irresponsibly decided an hour ago that some liquor would magically help you forget your worries.

you’re ready to scare the person off with a glare but what you’re met with is quite literally, much worse (because your glares don’t work on him and also because he's part of the reason you’re in your drunken state).

kaeya chuckles at your expression. “why the long face? it’s just me.”

you rub your eyes, groaning from the bitterness lingering in your throat. of all people, you weren’t expecting him. “you never stop by on wednesday’s. is something up?” you ask drowsily as kaeya watches you pick up your glass, clumsily squinting at the bottom of it to see if there was any more of your liquor left.

kaeya dodges your question, humming, “y/n sweetheart, you look like you’re on the brink of passing out.” he tilts his head, observing your flushed expression. if you can’t handle your liquor, he doesn’t mind taking you back home if it means securing your safety.

“am not,” you reply, turning your gaze to him. it’s all thanks to the alcohol that you can do so when in reality you actually struggle to maintain eye contact with him. “you… you haven’t answered my question yet. why’re you here?” your voice is hoarse and you’ve made enough voice cracks to entertain a crowd, but kaeya finds it rather endearing instead.

kaeya could reply honestly. but this conversation is one to be forgotten after you woke up tomorrow morning. he could lie and you would never know he did, but for a reason unknown the lie he was supposed to tell never left his lips. instead he blurts out the plain truth.

“somebody has to be responsible for you, y’know,” kaeya teases you with a grin but his actions are the opposite of his tone. he stands from his seat, pulling your arm over his shoulders to support your weight even when you attempt to resist his help. he keeps your body close to his so you don’t fall over. hopefully you’re drunk enough to be oblivious of the erratic beats of his heart alongside the cautious and warm touch of his hand on your waist.

diluc ragnvindr

he still can’t believe he has such a massive crush on you. it’s almost embarrassing to let others know about this secret because nobody would expect someone like diluc to have a thing for you. it’s even harder to hide that fact when you’re sitting at a table with venti and kaeya. they’re laughing their asses off at some joke you told them.

“cheers to y/n!” venti hollers, cheeks undeniably pink. “you are paying for this, right?” he leans back down momentarily, making you release another burst of laughter from your lungs at the way he mentioned it. “of course!”

after chatting, you decide to greet the man of the house by the bar. it’s been a while since you’ve seen the master diluc of dawn winery anyway. as you get up from the table to make your way over, you accidentally bump into a crowd of big, brawny adventurers who’ve just arrived.

“oh—!” tripping backwards, your hands fail to find something to keep yourself on your feet before your fall is cushioned by someone.

they hold onto your shoulder as your back collides with their chest. the force from being pushed aside has you breathing unsteadily, and it doesn’t help that you’re pretty tipsy right now too. however, despite how tipsy you are, you feel as though air is sucked right out of your lungs when you spot a tuft of crimson red hair from the corner of your eye.

you stand right up immediately, facing the person you fell onto.

“master diluc!” the dazed and naive look on a drunkard's face normally doesn’t appeal to diluc but this expression on yours actually makes you look rather adorable. your eyes are half-lidded and your smile is lopsided, and oh if he could squish those cheeks of yours-

“uh, master diluc?” you blink, toning your voice down a bit.

“oh.” diluc slides out of his mindscape, paying attention to your words. “yes? would you like a drink on the house?” because if you actually asked that, he would have sent one your way on the spot.

you wave your hands dismissively. “n- no no, not that! i was just asking how you were doing. you haven’t stopped by angel’s share since last month, i thought something was up so when i heard you were here today i…” you trail off, realising that you’re rambling and that diluc probably didn’t want to be greeted like this after taking a month off but when you look back at him, he’s still looking at you (and has been since you fell into his arms).

diluc raises his brow when he no longer hears your voice. but when he sees an expectant look in your eyes, he offers you his arm with a smile. “how about you tell me everything by the bar? that way i can serve you properly.”

your cheeks burn like a wild bonfire as you take his arm, now struggling to find excuses to somehow change the topic of conversation because if you continued your sentence from a minute ago, you would have exposed your secret attraction for the man in front of you.

(funny how you don’t even need kaeya or venti to expose you, you’re already the man for the job!)

diluc senses your sudden nervousness at the invitation. he does his best to bite away at the fond smile making its way to his lips. if he can help calm your nerves then maybe you’ll tell him about how much you missed his company at the tavern.

zhongli

zhongli didn’t know that his late night stroll around the streets of chihu rock would include witnessing your drunk state at third-round knockout. the streets have thinned out and it’s rather late too. he wonders what brought you over to the distinguished tavern.

the curious adeptus makes silent haste to peer over your shoulder. a cup in your hand and your head is lolling over. putting two and two together, you must have had your fill of alcohol for tonight.

zhongli finds himself chuckling before neatly folding his hands behind his back. “i wonder how y/n is faring on this wonderful night?”

your head snaps out of your drunken state momentarily, the coherent cells in your brain recognise that voice immediately but your vision is blurry. so instead of being able to greet the gentleman with dignity and grace, you end up tripping over the levelled bricks below you. 

“oh—!”

zhongli is quick to open his arms and catch you, his reflexes still polished despite his retirement as the geo archon. your head bumps into his chest as you grunt at the slight fright. and after regaining your foothold on the bricked ground, it comes to your attention that your body is flat against the man in front of you. more specifically, his arms are wrapped around your waist to keep you steady and your hands are fumbling awkwardly in the air because you don’t know where to put them.

looking up to meet zhongli’s eyes is exactly what you expected but you can never maintain eye contact with him. it’s not your fault he’s so handsome! his kind gesture makes your cheeks warm up, and he probably doesn’t even mean anything out of it but sometimes your mind likes to be a little creative and indulges you in a variety of impossible scenarios.

“archons, zhongli i’m sorry—i didn’t see you i—” 

“it’s not a problem, y/n. shall i walk you home?” zhongli offers, voice gentle and non-judgemental, like you didn’t just trip over a couple of bricks.

you shake your head, earning a raised brow from him. “i only live a few minutes away. plus, look at the time, we’ll look weird.”

“holding you in my arms will not make us look weird, rather i believe this is appropriate for us both. don’t you think?” the way zhongli tilts his head to the dominating tone in his voice makes you feel so small.

“i mean—sure but,” you reply, not daring to look directly into his eyes unless you were going to expose your hidden feelings for him. “but i’m drunk. it’s my fault, i can take myself ho—” your words are caught in your throat when zhongli lifts you up into his arms, carrying you bridal style down the steps and continuing down the street to bring you home.

this extra pinch of boldness is something that lays dormant within zhongli. but it always comes alive when you’re around. he has spent enough time around mortals to pick up the signs of the heart. your reactions to his touch, your flickering gaze and the heat from your face is no brainer. however, he will have to properly communicate with you when you’re sober.

for now, he only hopes that you will disregard the warmth radiating off his neck when you lean in to rest your forehead there.

childe

he’s dancing. dancing to his heart’s content. the band plays the second to last song but the harbinger barely feels like he’s lived up to the heights of the night. he requires more vigour, more energy from his dancing partners. sure, they were all wonderful dancers but he’s really only waiting for someone else to enter his field of vision.

childe knows you’re around here somewhere, you told him personally a week before the ball that you and your father were invited. after all, only the most distinguished noblemen and women were eligible to attend. and you, being the one and only child of one of the leading snezhnayan trade merchants, are an obvious guest on the list of invites.

childe dances, switching and gliding between different and eager dance partners, secretly hoping that the next gloved hand he would take would be yours. unfortunately, for the second to last song, he still doesn’t manage to find you amongst the crowd of participants dancing. so when the music stops he makes sure to return everyone a wave and entertain those who greet him warmly, doing everything in his power to stop the itch of impatience showing on his sweaty face. thankfully, he manages to maintain a calm and composed expression.

childe’s head perks up to a certain sound. amongst the music, the cheers and the clings of wine glasses he recognises a laugh. a laugh, to the extent of his knowledge, only he’s able to get out of you. he brings his wine glass away from his lips, licking the remnants of it from his bottom lip as he captures the sight of you chatting away with other guests.

scanning the guests’ faces, he concludes that they’re harmless thanks to information he was told prior to the event. so he makes his way over, smoothly including himself in conversation just to make an excuse to the other guests to ‘borrow your attention’ for a moment.

you take his arm that he offers you, holding your wine glass in your other hand. childe has always been a gentleman towards you, such a passionate person with excellent manners. you’re almost always guaranteed to have a grand time whenever he invites you out (obviously as friends, which you two have made known to the entire town).

“so ajax, tell me about your journey to liyue—” your throat interrupts your speech with a very clear hiccup. “—harbour.” your cheeks burn, quickly apologising for your lack of manners under your breath.

childe hums, loving how you used the name he told you to use when it’s just you and him. “your grace, are you drunk?” he gazes at your flushed face and how your styled hair looks more undone. he thinks you look better this way actually.

“i might be,” you sigh, wanting to hand your glass over to a butler but childe stops you before you can, taking your glass to quickly down the last sips of your beverage.

“ajax, what are you doing?!” you tap his arm repeatedly with concern, telling him to slow down.

you just got that glass a few minutes ago! but besides that, he’s drinking the wine you just had?! what if his lips touch the part yours did on the glass? not that you mind at all—you wouldn’t dare say that out loud but your thoughts are as clear as day on your expression.

childe enjoys the look on your face, satisfied and relieved that you didn’t show a hint of dissatisfaction. “i’ve not had the honour to dance with you tonight.” he passes the empty glass onto a passing butler’s tray. “shall i have the pleasure now?”

kamisato ayato

by this time in the evening, you, thoma and ayaka are probably done playing the hot pot game. which is alright since ayato knew he would return home from business later than usual tonight, but that doesn’t stop him from checking up on all of you. so when he slides the door open to see his faithful retainer, his sister and you sleeping soundly in the designated hot pot room at komore teahouse, the lord cannot help but stifle a fond laugh.

it then comes to his attention that the room reeks of alcohol. oh dear. that explains why everyone’s blacked out.

“‘yato?” he watches you lift your head from the table. ah, you’re still awake… and definitely drunk. no wonder you dropped the formalities all of a sudden. if you were sober you would have rushed to greet him by the door and refer to him by “my lord” despite all the protests he’s made to call you by his first name instead.

ayato hushes you gently, ignoring how his heart skips a beat at the mention of his first name leaving your lips and sits himself beside you. he’s almost taken aback by how you immediately lean onto his body for support. he knew you were an affectionate person but you normally asked before proceeding with anything just in case he felt uncomfortable (surprise! he never did). so seeing this side of you is rather refreshing to his eyes.

“what’re you doing here?” you blink hardly at him but it’s to no avail as the alcohol in your veins distorts your vision.

he brings you closer, gloved hand rising to caress the back of your head. “i just came to visit. however, it didn’t occur to me that you would all have so much fun without my presence.” 

“nonsense!” you claim dramatically, a satisfied smile immediately appearing on ayato’s face at your predictable reaction.

you poke his arm you don’t realise is already sat on your waist. you’re too ready to defend your lord from his own words to notice anyway.

ayato scans your face. lavender eyes find your plumped lips, the thin sheen of sweat along your cheeks and your hair attempting to escape the confines of your hairpin—hold on a moment, he got you that hairpin!

the way ayato has to physically restrain a grin from showing on his face is uncharacteristic of him. he’s noticed that he uncovers new parts of himself whenever you’re beside him. such an interesting person you are…

“we were waiting for you—hic—however, we got a little distracted.” you admit, gesturing at ayaka who sleeps soundly on thoma’s jacket. you look up at ayato through your eyelashes, giving him a lopsided smile.

“i remembered your—hic—advice when you said ayaka can’t drink more than a glass. she might even have it worse than me. but thoma, on the other hand, was a completely different story. that man was a mess!” you move your head to look at thoma’s body sprawled over the floor, ugly giggles leaving the back of your throat at how much of an idiot he looks like right now.

your hair tickles ayato’s chin but he pays no mind to it when he’s so immensely amused by your relaxed nature when drunk.

thoma

thoma mentally checks his list of things to do before retiring for the night. his lord is in his office, accompanied by a freshly made pot of tea, his lady should already be sound asleep and the other retainers are also readying to retire too. he sighs to himself, patting his jacket down as he heads to the kitchen to finalise his cleaning.

when he enters the kitchen, he is baffled at the sight in front of him. he stares blankly for a moment to process it.

there’s remnants of sake dripping out of a tipped-over tokkuri and his lover who plays with the o-choko absentmindedly with their finger, drawing invisible lines along the rim. thoma stifles a giggle, a curled finger covering his lips.

his giggle sends your consciousness back into focus. you only have the power to tilt your head ever so slightly to the right, your movements pausing on the o-choko when your gaze falls upon the view of your lover.

“tho—ma,” your cracked voice calls for him, making him rush toward you in such fondness so he could pinch your cheeks.

“oh, y/n, what are you doing?” thoma asks as giggles leave his lips, watching you squint at him dazedly. “it’s dripping from the corner of your lips as well!” he takes a napkin, sitting next to you to wipe it away gently.

“wh- where’ve you been, pretty?” your words are slurred but thoma hears you perfectly well.

the pet name makes him blush, but you’re too drunk to notice. “i’ve been doing my job—oh, honey—” he huffs when he brings you to lean on him instead. the longer you lay your head on the table, the more you’ll want to throw up later (and thoma makes sure to prevent that from happening).

you giggle at the little voice crack you hear when he calls you by your pet name, leaning onto his chest as your head rests on his shoulder blade. taking advantage of this position, thoma presses a cool ceramic cup filled with water by your lips and when you lazily open your eyes, you see that it’s the glass that’s been sitting on the side from earlier.

“drink up, honey.” you can’t refuse such a request when it’s mumbled so affectionately by your ear. you’re probably even warm at your cheeks from it, but then again, the sake has kept your cheeks warm for a while. you can’t even tell anymore.

after taking a few sips of water, your throat feels fresh and renewed—if thoma heard your thoughts, he would deadpan at you and say “y/n. it’s called getting hydrated” in a sassy little voice. this scenario amuses you and it causes a small laugh to leave your lips.

above you, thoma is confused. “what are you thinking about?” he asks curiously with a smile.

as you rest your head on thoma’s shoulder again, you reply, “you. i’m just thinking about you.”

tighnari

a shout from outside tighnari’s lodging brings his attention away from his documents, brows furrowing and pushing himself up from his chair to see why his forest rangers are making such a fuss at an ungodly hour (yes, tighnari was awake at said ungodly hour but that wasn’t because he was with his fellow rangers after a night out!).

“tighnari, we’re back!” a drunk forest watcher waves and yells at the figure of tighnari, who has his arms crossed in front of him.

a sigh leaves tighnari’s mouth, one of exhaustion, to be precise. “do you intend to wake all of gandharva ville up? go find yourselves home and rest.” he turns around to head back inside until another forest watcher pipes up.

“wait, tighnari! y/n’s black out drunk!” a female forest watcher, who’s eyes can’t even look at a single point any longer due to the alcohol running in her veins, displays your figure with your arm dangling over her shoulders. “you need to take them back, i don’t know where they live!”

tighnari raises a brow and chuckles, shaking his head. “yet you’re sober enough to tell me this.” he walks towards the group of drunkards and collects you easily from the forest watcher, carefully placing your arm over his shoulders while his other hand holds your hip.

you barely know where you are and what’s happening but it appears that your assigned guardian angel for the night has retired and put you in more capable hands—or, arms. you blink in an attempt to gather knowledge of your surroundings but it’s to no avail when everything is a blur of darkness with hints of warm light from the dew lights.

a grunt escapes your lips in slight frustration as you walk away with this other person, but they’re quick to hush you gently and in a soft voice you hear, “i promise we’re almost there, just walk with me, okay?”

“yeah, okay,” you reply promptly but to tighnari’s ears, he’s never heard such a tone in your voice ever since you were recruited. his heart skips a beat and his ear twitches along. it’s rare to see you so vulnerable and he can tell you have no idea that he’s the one carrying you back to… well, his lodging. because your lodging is simply too far away (it’s only a bridge away) and he can’t have you walking any longer when you look like you’re on the verge of passing out! 

he doesn’t know what’s gotten into him when his gloved hand holds onto your forearm to keep your body steady against his as he walks you to his lodging. his body is going against him and his heart can only take the blame for such ridiculous delusions. what does he think he will get out of this?

he’s just your chief forest watcher, that’s all he will ever be to you—is what tighnari thinks. but in reality, you only went out with the others to spiral in alcohol due to your failed attempts of romancing your handsome superior. it seemed that the sumeru roses and the letter you left at his doorstep were blown away by the wind (you had to commit blasphemy on that day and curse the anemo archon), the pita pockets you made for him were stolen away by some petty treasure hoarders when you weren’t looking and overall, your thoughts were a mess thinking about your failed attempts. it was like your beloved archon forgot to bless you with wisdom to avoid these situations.

“see! i told you he had a soft spot for them!”

“it’s so obvious the feelings mutual, i can’t believe they didn’t believe us.”

“they’re literally the only one who can’t see it!”

tighnari clears his throat loud enough for the group to hear him. he turns around and gives them a pointed look until they’re all skipping away to their respective lodgings.

he glances at your drunken face for a brief moment and smiles to himself, continuing to walk you back.

it appears that all his worries were meaningless.

kaveh

the sight of you leaning against the door to his home almost makes his soul fly right out of his body.

“hello y/n, i thought we were meeting for dinner?” but when kaveh finally makes it to where you are, you are nowhere near sober. no wonder your figure was leaning against the wood so flimsily. you were akin to a ragdoll at this point. “great heavens, is the end of the world upon us? why are you drunk before me?” he hesitantly collects you in his arms while mehrak hovers beside him. he can’t have you just leaning like that!

“went to… birthday party… drinks…”

that’s enough information to bring kaveh up to speed with the situation. but also… why did you decide to go to his house?! was it instinctive?

kaveh cringes at his thoughts and opens the door with his free hand while his other hand supports you by your waist (he can feel his palm warming up to the touch on your body and it’s making the poor man sweat). “come on in, let’s sober you up.” 

when you’re sat nicely on the couch, your eyes are still closed with zero awareness of your surroundings. how your head suddenly tilts backwards at such speed almost brings the most horrific yelp out of kaveh, he’s relieved to know his reflexes are still sharp enough to have caught your head before it snapped right off your neck.

“archons, you’re going to give me a heart attack!” he holds the back of your head and somehow manages to bring your body to lean against the spine of the couch. he doesn’t forget to put a pillow behind your back either, because you being drunk doesn’t mean you’re drunk enough to not feel discomfort.

after collecting himself from that scare, he returns with a cup of water, hands carefully hovering it in front of your lips. “here, drink up,” he says but you keep moving your mouth away from the cup that it’s slowly beginning to irritate him.

“y/n, you need to sober up if you’re going to walk home later,” he tells you in a more serious voice which makes you groan, throwing your head forward into your hands.

“you don’t understand.”

“what don’t i understand?”

what am i doing here? i swear i was in front of my friend's place… how is it that my drunk feet led me here? out of all the places on this continent, why did i take myself to the one place i’m trying to avoid?!

kaveh raises a brow and puts down the glass of water. “is something wrong, y/n? i haven’t even seen you since last week.”

“i’ve been… busy…” trying to keep my feelings at bay!

“i see,” kaveh responds before adding, “do you still feel drunk?”

“i wouldn’t say i’m drunk to the point of passing out—i did feel like that earlier but now that i’m sitting i can at least participate in conversation.” you remove your face from your hands.

why is his face so pink? you think to yourself, grabbing the glass of water from the table to take a sip before leaning back with your free arm supporting you. you grin to yourself, feeling a little cheeky.

you offer the glass of water you just drank from to kaveh, hovering it in front of his lips and you swear you almost watch his eyes fall out of their eye sockets.

“what—what are you doing?!” kaveh’s voice shakes and you let out this cute drunken giggle that makes his heart leap. 

“i know i’m the one drunk, but for some reason you look drunk without even having drinks!”

kaveh touches his face and he purses his lips. his cheeks are so used to being hot from being in your presence that he didn’t even realise!

“allow me to assist you.” you lean your body a little closer so you can press the chilled glass of water against kaveh’s cheek.

his bottom lip falls and quivers when you lean closer towards him. last time you were this close, you were putting medication on his face after a run in with fungi.

the coldness of the glass somehow gives him time to think to himself—rationally. maybe in this moment right now he could…

“thank you, y/n.” you’ve never heard this tone in kaveh’s voice, it’s unfamiliar and so… tender. what he does next makes you finally meet his scarlet eyes.

a warm hand wraps around your wrist that holds the glass to his cheeks, your skin immediately lights up in fire at the contact. it makes you gulp so embarrassingly loudly before him.

he leans into the coolness of the glass, gazing at you with such gentle eyes that it’s tempting you to look away. as his thumb gently caresses your skin, he smiles. “it helps.”

wanderer

wanderer returns to his home a little later than usual tonight. he made sure to leave a note on the dining table to let you know of his whereabouts for the day. he knows you have the propensity to worry about him, despite his claims that he’ll be perfectly fine because of how well-versed he is in the arts of defence (and nasty attacks). which is why he left the note on the table, and he acknowledges how it was moved to another spot on the table from this morning.

you’ve seen it. he thinks to himself and now he wonders where you are. you’re not normally out at this time and from your cute daily schedule reports you tell him before bed, he doesn’t remember you mentioning that you would be out until this time. or if you were going out with friends.

that’s alright. wanderer can wait.

the tapping of his own foot is driving the man on edge. it’s been two whole hours—the sun is far beneath the horizon and the birds are already snoring. where the hell are you? wanderer cannot do this anymore, he rises from his seat and takes flight with his anemo abilities.

the city is rather easy to navigate at this height. in the dark, the city is at least still lit up by streetlights and with the help of one nearby lambad’s tavern, he spots your curled figure sitting on the floor very easily.

he hovers over the cement before landing smoothly on his feet. “what are you doing here at this time? it’s so late,” wanderer remarks with irritation, standing in front of you with his arms folded. he stares at your figure with a frown.

“h-huh?” your voice comes out hoarse, lifting your head and your eyes slowly make out the figure of wanderer. “o-oh it’s youi… where’ve you been?” you manage to say despite how the world shakes around you.

“tch, what do you—” wanderer stops himself, raising a brow then finally taking the time to scan your face and posture and it hits him.

you’re fucking drunk.

“you’re insane,” wanderer scoffs, kneeling down to silently take a closer look at your face and body for any drunkenly bruises. “do you even know what time it is? i was waiting for you.” he doesn’t exactly know what to do with his hands but he decides to offer you one to help you get up on your feet.

“you think i’m insane but really, you’re the one doing insane things all the time! you know, like fighting fatui agents in the rain… to avenge a bird!” you put emphasis on the word ‘bird’ and wanderer scoffs at the finger you point at him.

“it was in danger,” he replies simply before sighing, “but that’s not the point. you’re drunk outside at a time like this so i’ll be taking you home now.”

talking to him magically makes you more sober with every passing second. you decide to play with him a little, leaning back on the brick wall as the crease in your brow melts away. “ooh, shouldn’t you take me on a date first?”

wanderer groans, pulling his hand back. he’s never had to deal with you drunk before! so he thinks for a moment, and he stands tall on his feet, turning his head the other direction. “if this is how you will continue to act then i will leave you to your own devices, however if you come back crawling to me—”

wanderer almost gasps at your figure suddenly standing beside him, steady on your feet as you give him a hard and long stare. “you don’t have to tell me twice about how you wait for me at home, i’m well aware of that. complain all you want about me but your words aren’t consistent with your actions, my love.” you slide your hand down his arm to reach for his hand as you lean your head on his shoulder.

you feel him tilt his face in the other direction. curious, you briefly lift your head for a moment to spot your pretty artificial lover gritting his teeth as a sheet of pink blankets his cheeks.

“fool,” he whispers, but there is no malice behind it.

[reasonsforhope]

Note: Reasons to Be Cheerful has had weirdly huge formatting issues for the past six or so months, so if that version is a mess, this link should work better.

"Florida Power & Light Company (FPL), the Sunshine State’s largest power utility, employs all the people you might expect: electricians, lineworkers, mechanical engineers — and a few you might not. For over 40 years, the company has kept a team of wildlife biologists on staff. Their task? Monitoring the giant carnivorous reptiles that reside in one of the state’s nuclear power plants. 

Saving the American Crocodile

What sounds like a low-budget creature feature is actually a wildly successful conservation story. It goes like this: In 1975, the shy and reclusive American crocodile was facing extinction. Over-hunting and habitat decline caused by encroaching development had pushed its numbers to a record low. By 1975, when it was listed as endangered under the Endangered Species Act, there were only 200 to 300 left. 

Three years later, in 1978, workers at the Turkey Point nuclear power plant in Homestead, Florida happened upon something that must have made them gasp: a crocodile nest along one of the plant’s 5,900-acre “cooling canals.” Rather than drive the crocs away — perhaps the easiest solution — FPL hired a team of biologists and implemented a Crocodile Management Plan. Its goal was unconventional: provide a suitable habitat for the crocs within the workings of the nuclear power plant, allowing both to coexist.  

Over the course of the next 30 years, FPL’s wildlife biologists monitored nests, tagged hatchlings and generally created a hospitable environment for the reptiles. As it turned out, the plant’s cooling canals provided an ideal habitat: drained earth that never floods on which to lay eggs directly adjacent to water. Over the years, more and more crocs made the cooling canals home. By 1985, the nests at Turkey Point were responsible for 10 percent of American crocodile hatchlings in South Florida. In 2007, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service downgraded the American crocodile’s status from endangered to threatened, singling out FPL for its efforts. 

The program continues to this day. To date, biologists have tagged some 7,000 babies born at the plant. In 2021, there were a record-setting 565 crocodile hatchlings at the Turkey Point facility. 

"Reconciliation Ecology"

Turkey Point’s efforts are an example of what is known in the conservation world as “reconciliation ecology.” Rather than create separate areas where nature or animals can thrive in isolation from humans, reconciliation ecology suggests that we can blend the rich natural world with the world of human activity. Michael Rosenzweig, an emeritus professor of ecology and evolutionary biology at the University of Arizona, was a leading force in establishing this concept. The author of Win-Win Ecology: How the Earth’s Species can Survive in the Midst of Human Enterprise, Rosenzweig has pointed out that although human encroachment has typically been considered a threat to biodiversity, the notion that the world must be either “holy” or “profane,” ecologically speaking, is simply not true.  

“In addition to its primary value as a conservation tool, reconciliation ecology offers a valuable social byproduct,” writes Rosenzweig in his first chapter. “It promises to reduce the endless bickering and legal wrangling that characterize environmental issues today.”

-via Reasons to Be Cheerful, May 5, 2022. Article continues below. All headings added by me for added readability.

Dr. Madhusudan Katti, an associate professor in the Department of Forestry and Environmental Resources at North Carolina State University, was inspired by Rosenzweig when he did his postdoc at Arizona State. Katti has now been in the field of reconciliation ecology for two decades and teaches classes on the subject. “To me it’s finding solutions to reconciling human development with biodiversity conservation,” Katti says.

This common ground between development and conservation can be consciously planned, like FPL managing a crocodile habitat at a nuclear power plant or the state-sponsored vertical gardens and commercial farms on high-rise buildings in Singapore. Other examples include the restoration of the coral reef around an undersea restaurant in Eilat, Israel, or recent legislation in New York City requiring patterned glass on high-rise buildings, making windows more visible to migratory birds. Other planned examples of reconciliation ecology can be more individually scaled: a rooftop garden in an urban setting, modifying your garden to earn a “backyard bird habitat” certification from the Audubon Society, or even just mowing your lawn less often...

Reconciliation Ecology: Nature's Already Doing It Without Us

But there are countless examples of “accidental” incidents of reconciliation ecology, as well. One of Katti’s favorites is the kit fox of California’s San Joaquin Valley. “The kit fox was one of the very first species listed on the Endangered Species Act,” Katti says. Its decline was caused by habitat loss through agricultural and industrial development, as well as the extermination of the gray wolf population, which led to an increase in coyotes. So kit foxes adapted and moved to new habitats. One of these was the city of Bakersfield, California.

“Bakersfield, surrounded by oil pumps, would be the last place you’d expect to find an endangered species,” Katti says. But researchers think kit foxes have migrated to Bakersfield because they actually have more protection there from predators like coyotes and bobcats. “The kit foxes have figured out that if they can tolerate the human disturbance and live with people, then they are safer from all these other predators,” he says. 

Living in the city has led to some interesting behavioral changes. In the wild, for instance, a female kit fox gives birth to her young and raises them by herself in a den. But in the city, researchers have observed multiple females raising their litters together in the same den. “It’s like a form of cooperative breeding,” Katti says. “That wouldn’t happen in the wild.” ...

The Big Picture: How We Think about Conservation

Reconciliation Ecology isn’t just we humans welcoming animals like crocodiles and foxes into our environments, though. It’s also living with nature in a way that most Western societies haven’t done since the Enlightenment. “In recent years, there’s been a recognition that the ‘fortress conservation’ model — keeping nature separated from humans and not thinking of or valuing human-inhabited landscapes — those ideas are outdated,” says Katti.

In fact, in Katti’s classes on reconciliation ecology, he embraces the notion of reconnecting people with their land if they have been unjustly separated from it. “The term reconciliation also applies to all the colonial legacies where both nature and people have been harmed,” Katti says. “For Indigenous communities, the harm done to ecosystems, it’s happened together. So you can talk about addressing both. That’s where a lot of my thinking is at the moment.” 

A hopeful version of this sort of reconciliation is happening in California where colleagues of Katti’s who are tribal members are re-introducing “tribal burns” in some areas. Controlled burns have been a part of many Indigenous cultures for millenia, both as a way to prevent devastating forest fires, but also to encourage the growth of certain plants like hazel that are used for basket-weaving and other crafts. 

“The notion that people don’t belong there and ‘let nature take care of itself’ doesn’t really work,” Katti says. “That’s the legacy of Western European Enlightenment thinking — a divide between human and nature. That is a real faulty view of nature. People have been part of the ecosystem forever.”

-via Reasons to Be Cheerful, May 5, 2022

[doromoni]

Clash of Champions | LH44 , MV1

Act 1 . Part 3 : Beaten Black and Red Bull Blue

Ships : Lewis Hamilton x Engineer! Reader , Max Verstappen x Engineer! Reader

Genre : Drama , Angst , Romance

Warnings : Morally Grey Characters

Summary : The rivalry between the titans of Formula 1 go off track and only one will reign victorious.

< Previous Act 2. >

Never in your days in Formula 1 would you even consider leaving everything behind and disappearing from it all. But staring at you was your resignation letter, fully written out and waiting to be sent.

Everything felt torturous. Your mind was eating you alive, it felt like your entire body was pushing you to cut every tie with the motorsport world. You felt sick to your stomach and bile was pushing out your throat. You just wanted to disappear.

It was the year 2021. No one had predicted the sudden rise of Red Bull in the form of Max Verstappen. The Mercedes dominance was now on the brink of dethronement.

Toto’s promise of an 8th championship to Lewis was under the threat of insolvency. The entirety of Mercedes is at its wit's end, with so many questions and no answers to give.

Nothing was solved, and people are now starting to point fingers at who’s at fault. Blame was being passed around from all parts of the motorhome. No one could accept that there was a driver that could challenge Lewis Hamilton and it was time for an actual battle on the track, except you — and because of this, just because you acknowledge the talent of Max Verstappen, you were branded a traitor. Suddenly, they finally had someone to blame. Y/N L/N, the Red Bull ally.

Your time at Mercedes had brought you hell and back. Every race week was as horrible as the previous one. When Lewis won a race it was a team effort, but when he lost, it was entirely your fault as an engineer. Your every action in every hallway felt like you were walking on eggshells.

The stress and tension had muddled every part of your life. However, you pushed through and took every hit, all because you wanted that 8th championship. Because it was all for the man that you gave your heart to, Lewis Hamilton. You are willing to give up everything for the sake of him.

No one saw that you were slowly dying inside, not even Lewis. It had been a while since the two of you had properly spoken, ironically you see each other every day. Yet everything revolved around racing and the championship, even on off weeks, Lewis was either training or out of the house for events he couldn’t bring you to.

Your shared apartment felt empty and icy. But everything felt alright when at the end of the day Lewis pulls you close, his arms tight against your stomach and you drift to sleep. And yet you wake up in an empty bed. It was a vicious cycle and one you cannot seem to let go of. All because you love him, even now, even when it hurts.

Yet, hurt and all emotions are set aside when your headphones go on and the roar of the engine goes off. You were still a race engineer and a damn good one at that. No matter what everyone said , they cannot argue that you were the best there was.

In all circumstances, when the lights go off, the goal is to win and win at all costs — but you were no monster. You didn’t want Silverstone 2021.

“Ok, Lewis. Radio check”

“ Loud and clear”

You feel the air change around you, the thick tension of eagerness seeped out in every corner of your side of the garage. The crew wanted to win, BADLY — the Mercedes side of the paddock was filled with desperation.

Red Bull had been winning for 5 straight races, and Verstappen owned 4 of them. Everyone from your garage was desperate for p1.

“I know that you want this win, Lew. Just keep your head low and focus on the goal” You suddenly felt the need to remind the British driver.

“ I know, Y/N” Lewis bit back. You didn’t like the tone of how he said your name. But you pushed that aside as you felt the hostility behind his voice.

“Lewis, don’t do anything rash please” you murmured hoping to peace with the British champion. Lewis had nothing else to say, and in all honesty, you were more than worried.

There was a growing pit in your stomach as if you knew something was about to happen.

And as Crofty announced the start of the race, there at lap 1, Max Verstappen had faced a horrendous crash. And it was caused by your driver. At 51Gs , Max Verstappen had hit the wall. The crash was caused by Lewis.

“He just turned on me,” Lewis said. Bull fucking Shit. You knew that what Lewis said was not close to the truth and you knew that Lewis did as well.

You were frozen from shock as you looked at the degree of Max’s crash. You didn’t realize that you were holding your breath till you saw that Max was out of the car. Your heart broke when the audio replay of the initial impact played, Max's voice held copious amounts of pain.

You were not well acquainted with the Dutch driver, but every interaction with him was pleasant and bafflingly soothing, considering that you were in opposing teams and his short temper. And you did keep your distance to respect your employers, even if you did enjoy talking with Max .Nevertheless, even when he is the “enemy” he didn’t deserve to be hurt.

Lewis had won the race and you refused to go on the podium and celebrate with the team. Even with your already dubious morals , you cannot swallow celebrating someone’s pain.

When you refused to go on the podium celebration, your boss threatened your job and stability with the team. So you did, and you watched your boyfriend celebrate without a care in the world.

Then at the sight of champagne being sprayed , everything came crashing down and an epiphany washed over you like scalding hot water.

The person you were looking at was not the same person that you once loved. It was as if you were looking at a stranger. He was not the same Lewis Hamilton that you have your heart to. No, this was just the 7 time World Champion from Mercedes.

At that realization, your whole body became numb. You started to walk away even before the end of the ceremony, people from your garage calling out your name.

You cannot find yourself to care as you beelined towards the circuit’s hospital wing. And there you found Max still groaning in pain.

You slowly went towards the Red Bull driver’s bed. Max opened his eyes to the soft noises of your shoes.

As he made up your form, his eyes shone with recognition. You weren’t supposed to be here, not when you were already tagged as a traitor by your team.

“ Hi Max, long time no talk huh? How are you feeling?” You asked with a soft smile, a smile that he mirrored back.

“Well, you never did return my handkerchief, now did you Y/N?”

And there started your friendship with Max Emilian Verstappen.

Before you could even bid goodbye and greet Max with a get well soon, your short visit to the clinic was already widespread in the Mercedes motorhome.

You were then called to Toto’s office. The news of your demotion to assistant race engineer left a thick silence between the two of you.

Every emotion you bottled up had reached the surface and that one last straw toppled the scale.

You took your phone out of your pocket and hit send on the resignation email, you were now certain that you didn’t want any part of this team and anything within it.

With no words, only a smile adorning your face and a finger stuck to the air. You left Mercedes, not once looking back.

“ Hello, Christian? I think I am interested in that meeting after all”

End of Act 1

Taglist : @vicurious28 @xoscar03 @barnestatic @stelena-klayley @sopheeg @imagandom @4-20-21-12 @doofenshmirtzevil-inc @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @minkyungseokie @d3kstar @kimialaia @mrsmelinda @cosmicwintr @younxii @ssrcsm @paigem00 @seokjinkismet @wcnorris @jayjay11122 @embersparklz @its-elias-world

Anyone interested to be added to the taglist? Drop a comment or DM me!

A/N : Y/N baddie era coming in the near future 😮‍💨

[spockandawe]

And finally, the big conclusion! When I was planning to not really binderary, getting copies of these books was my big goal. And then when I did binderary after all, I, uh, ended up with two sets of two books. And let's not even talk about how late these are in the grand scheme of things, these have been in my plans for literal years, and I originally intended to get them done well before official translations started releasing (I'm doing great!!). But here they are! Thousand Autumns and Peerless! TWICE!!!!

Okay. Okay. So here's the thing. These books are long. Thousand Autumns is something like 450k, and Peerless is closer to 550k. I hate splitting cnovels. I didn't want to sand instead of trimming. I wanted to keep these books as pairs (because Peerless has my favorite danmei ship of all time, but doesn't hit as hard without the Thousand Autumns context, and EVERYTHING hits less hard without knowing that yan wushi is out there. existing.)

These goals are not terribly well aligned with the facts! The facts are that those are awfully big books to fit into a single volume, if I want to use my guillotine! This is another driving force behind my small text theme of the month. It made the typesets a goddamn nightmare, and my initial copies of the books were done on half-legal paper, which I've never done before and may never do again. I finished those, and those are... big, heavy books. Not super portable. Time to see if my eyes are good for four point georgia, and spoilers, they ARE.

Set one, the large set, I wanted to use more of my snake leather. I had this GORGEOUS purple and green and black iridescent hide that i was determined to use, and fortunately I had just enough of the perfect fabric to pair with it.

But.... meanwhile, I've been buying peacock fabrics since 2021 for the sake of Feng Xiao. I had to use at least ONE of them! Fortunately, I've hoarded enough fabric that I was able to find a nice harmonious floral fabric to cover thousand autumns, and then had a nice duo bookcloth to make spines for them both! These books are quarter-legal, and the font is genuinely SO small, but still, pleasantly readable for me, my favorite customer 😂

These books were SO MUCH work to typeset snd bind, but I'm still so excited about how both sets came out! Because of my own impatience with repeating myself like, literally two days later, i redid a number of decorative elements in the typeset as well as the binding. Different chapter headers, different dividers, totally different vibes for the endpapers! This was a big project to ask from myself in such short order, especially when I was starting to flirt with burnout, but I genuinely couldn't be happier with the results :D

[avaf00rdxx]

Leah Williamson relationship HC

A better fic will be out soon hang tight.

This is a scrap I made.

I would barely classify these as head cannons as they are very long. They are just about your relationship in general☺️

————————————————————————-

-you and Leah were best friends and crazy close when you first joined Arsenal in 2017. When you left to go to Barcelona in 2019 you both felt like a huge part of your lives were missing. When you came back to Arsenal in 2021 you both realised you were in love and started dating

-you always praise Leah for being the most fashionable person you know. You weren’t terrible yourself but you were always getting her to help you with what to wear daily

-whenever you two go to events together Leah will always make sure you get to the after party. Your pretty good at calling it a night often, which means Leah is dragging you for more drinks more often that not

-you, Leah and Alex Scott were sort of a trio. Sure Leah and Alex were a tad closer. But you had all been on multiple trips together

-your the cook of the house. She can’t go much further than toast. She tried to make frozen chicken one time for you both, but it ended up breaking the oven due to a weird setting she turned the oven on to.

-when she did her ACL you were in tears for her. When she walked off, She told you to get a goal for her. You didn’t in the end which made you sick to your stomach. You felt terrible and was just as devastated as Leah.

-your Australian. So bringing Leah over to your home was your favourite thing.

-Christmas in your house was amazing. You both decked out the house completely and danced and sung to Christmas songs all December.

-when buying your first house together. You had the biggest say. You had great taste is properties to buy so you kind of found a flat online and showed Leah. She said yes so you immediately booked an inspection. You got that flat two days later.

-You also bought all the furniture one night when you were both on international break and got it delivered to where Leah was. She was a bit shocked when she FaceTimed you after coming home to 45 delivery boxes.

-your taste in movies was so divergent. She liked the more fantasy movies like lord of the rings and Harry Potter. She also loved horror. Which was terrible for you. You loved romance movies, you’re either making Leah watch that or some stupid documentary you heard of.

-you were a huge dog person. And Leah already owned a dog when you first moved in together, but you had 2. So now it’s a crazy house 24/7.

-you love being together in the kitchen, listening to music and goofing around with a good bottle of wine. You both turn on old love songs and slow dance around the kitchen.

-she made you late to most trainings. Due to her stuffing around in the mornings. It got even worse when she cut her bangs

-one afternoon you were both chatting on how she used to have a fringe as a child. You said she would suit one (but you think she suits anything). So of course 2 weeks later she texts you to let you know she’s going to the hairdresser…

-Leah can be kinky asf. Come on we all know this

-sometimes after dinner you will beg her to play on the piano for you. She’s actually outstanding at it and you’re so proud of her. You will take your wine glass over and sit on the seat next to her while she plays.

-you tried to convince her to get Santa photos with the dogs. Which she very quickly declined.

-you were very good at makeup. You became obsessed with it as a teenage girl. So you find yourself doing Leah’s a lot for nights out and events. Even just doing a big look for fun.

-the girl couldn’t ride a bike to save her life. So you always tried to help teach her . She would somehow always say yes, Even if it was just an excuse to get a good laugh out of you.

-you and your Matilda’s team played in the World Cup and came fourth after being knocked out by her country in the semis. Your heart ached that you couldn’t finish it for your country, but it ached just the same at the fact that your girlfriend couldn’t lead her country to the grand finals like she had always dreamt of.

-every night you slept with your head tucked into the crook of her neck, arms cuddling onto her torso. It was just the best way both of your bodies melted together.

-sometimes she tried to take you on golfing dates. The first time she did, she told you she was good. Like the powerful Leah Williamson would. You were humble and said you would need her help. But when you swung your shot you actually made a great one and it had Leah’s jaw on the floor.

-you both had your first photo shoot together in 2020 just before covid. And you lived very minute of it. Now you have done heaps for brands like Calvin Klein, bikini brands, and more together, you both now being known for your hot couple photo shoots.

-you were both completely clumsy. The worst thing was when Leah and you had to screw a window nail tighter. Don’t ask why. But you apparently weren’t holding it properly. Causing it to fall out the other side of the frame. Completely shattering into the pool.

-though you were always chasing after her for outfit inspiration. You both looked phenomenal wherever you went. You would both be shot on camera court-side of a basketball game, on vacation or at dinner in the best outfits and hair.

-you though she was the hottest girl you had ever seen in your life. You had only had boyfriends who play football in your life before Leah. So you always blamed Leah for being gay.

-her love for country music was one of the things that made you fall in love with her. Along with her charming personality

-you were a striker for arsenal. When you scored in a game, you would do your celebration jump with your fists in the air and always try to look for Leah, to see if it was her arms you could jump into first. And she was always there, screaming at you for your goal with her arms wide open.

-your a bottom most of the time. But sometimes you switch it up and she lives for your dominant side.

-you suffered a severe back injury in 2022 while in Australia. You were scared you would never play again. Leah was on the next plane out to Australia, even though she was told not to. Just so she could sit next to your bed and hold your hand for hours.

-seeing Leah back in training after doing her ACL. With the brightest smile on her face, made your heart melt every time.

[mysteryshoptls]

2024-2025 Player Birthday Login Message Lines

These are all the messages that you get from the boys when you log in on the birthday that you set in-game from 18 Mar 2024 to 17 Mar 2025! For those that want to hear them, you can find them in the Archive, under the tab その他　→　監督生バースデー④. (This will not be in your game archives until the birthday you set passes.)

You can find the 2021-2022 Birthday Login Message Lines here! You can find the 2022-2023 Birthday Login Message Lines here! You can find the 2023-2024 Birthday Login Message Lines here!

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]. Thanks for always looking out for those two dorm students of mine. Actually, we're planning on hosting a reception this weekend at our dorm. I would like to invite you, as part of your birthday celebration. Heh. My apologies. Looks like that has caused you a little anxiety. No worries, I'll be beside you teaching you the proper manners the whole time.

Ace

Yo, [Yuu]. Happy Birthday― Mmkay, so let's get started on the birthday party. I'm just gonna pop on over to this one restaurant in town and nab some tasty-lookin' stuff! Just chill and wait here at Ramshackle... Hey, c'mon, I ain't tryin' to pull anything over on ya. Sometimes I just want to have a normal celebration too, y'know!

Deuce

[Yuu], Happy Birthday! Let me take you to go buy a prese... Eh? You're saying that I've already given you a present because I fixed the broken lights in Ramshackle the other day...? No way, you don't gotta hold back like that! I want to go all out for my pal's special day. That's what makes me happy.

Cater

[Yuu]-chan, Happy Birthday―☆ Did ya post on Magicam that it's your birthday? Oh, not yet? Then, let Cay-kun here with all his power and wisdom write a post for you! We'll attach a cool photo and some slammin' hashtags... Whaddya think? A perfect gift from me, or what?

Trey

Happy Birthday. So, about your present... I do have one. It's just... I was asking around for what to gift you and in the end, I couldn't really figure out what I should get... So in the end, after being at a loss, I ended up getting you this shirt. I look at it now and wonder what possessed me to pick this pattern... Yeah, I know, it's just laughable.

SAVANACLAW

Leona

Yeah, yeah. Your birthday's come 'round again, hooray. ...What're you doing, setting up a chessboard on the floor like that? You practiced just to win a game against me? Oho, so you're challenging me, then. Look at the pluck on this herbivore. So, what're you willing to bet, then? No way you're gettin' away with just a simple game after throwin' down the gauntlet at me like this.

Jack

So, it's your birthday today. Have you set up any new goals yet? What, you're going to surpass me in our classes? Heh, that's a hilarious joke. You really think you can beat me? But I'll take you on. If you get a better score on our next test, I'll get you some kind of present.

Ruggie

Happy Birthday―! 'N that means, I got you somethin' that's fittin' comin' from an upperclassman like me. Ta-da! A homemade fishing rod～ ...Ah, you totally just thought it's a cheap gift, didn'tcha! But this totally works! I know what it's like to go hungry too, y'know～ You're probably always goin' through things, so if you're ever in a pinch, make sure you use this!

OCTAVINELLE

Azul

A very Happy Birthday to you. Have you thought of a gift you'd like to get for yourself? Please, allow me to procure it for you... ...Oho, you have a keen eye to request something of that caliber. It may be considerably difficult to just anyone to acquire. HOW-EV-ER! If I were to handle it, that is a different situation altogether. I shall definitely make sure to retrieve it for you. Please wait expectantly.

Jade

Happy tidings for your birthday. I do hope this year will be another fruitful year for you. By the way, [Yuu]-san. Have you eaten yet? Oh, not yet, how wonderful. As a matter of fact, I thought I would treat you to something in my own little way. I only offer this with the best of intentions, of course. Fufu.

Floyd

Oh hey, Shrimpy-chan. It's your birthday today, huh. Mmkay, then I'll give you some snacks. I got these strange tastin' gummies, these wicked hard cookies, and some squishy jerky. Awesome, right? I got a ton, but all of them expire today, so. These are my presents to you, so you better eat them all without wastin' any, 'kay?

SCARABIA

Kalim

[Yuu], Happy Birthday! Here's your present, from me to you. Ahaha, did that surprise you? I tried making a pop up birthday card just for you. I also tried making a ton of paper flowers that we use during celebrations back in the Scalding Sands. Don'tcha think they came out real pretty?

Jamil

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]. It isn't much, but here's your present. Ramshackle is a fairly old building. I'm sure there are bugs that will find their way in and try to settle down here. However, if you use this, you can rid yourself of all of them in an instant. I can vouch for its effectiveness. Use it as soon as you can.

POMEFIORE

Vil

Happy Birthday, [Yuu]. ...You wish for me to come to your party here, at Ramshackle? And to top it all off, you've prepared a healthy menu just for me... Heh, how considerate of you. Very well. I suppose I can make an appearance out of respect for your enthusiasm. I do hope you're honored that I'll be there to celebrate with you.

Epel

Happy Birthday! I put in a lot of thought picking out a present for you. Here ya go, fingerless gloves! Nice design, right? Makes using your phone a lot easier, too. It'll make you look super cool, and the more you use it, the more comfy it'll feel. I hope you use it tons!

Rook

I've been waiting, Trickster. Waiting, that is, to celebrate your birthday with you. A spectacular day requires a spectacular memory. That is why I've come up with a wonderful plan of my own. First, we watch two back-to-back theater performances, then attend a poetry reading, and finally, watch a movie in the evening. There will be no time to rest. Come, we must quickly fly towards the theater!

IGNIHYDE

Idia

Kk, time to pretend we all get along and celebrate a birthday again... Eep!? D-Did you hear that just now...? Uh, so... Happy B-day, I guess... Soz, I don't have a present for you. Didn't even know it was your birthday... What, you're seriously just happy hearing me wish you a happy b-day? [siiigh] Nah, I'll order something small online and have it shipped to Ramshackle sometime later.

Ortho

Happy Birthday! Here's your present. Go ahead and open it! Hehe, you see what I did? I used a laser to engrave a birthday message on a glass tumbler for you. It was a little difficult fine tuning the power adjustment for the more detailed parts, but it came out pretty good, don't you think? I really hope you like it!

DIASOMNIA

Malleus

Child of Man, I see today is your birthday. ...Hm? What's the matter? You look a tad glum. Ah, I see, you are struggling to carry all your presents. Well, allow me to deliver them to Ramshackle with magic in your stead. No need to protest, this is an effortless task for someone like me. You should enjoy your special day to the utmost.

Silver

Happy Birthday. You're curious about this braided cord? It is your present. Lilia-senpai explained it to me thusly... If a string wrapped around your wrist or ankle snaps off on its own, then your wish will be granted. I strung this cord together in hopes that you may have your wishes come true. It may be a tad ill-shaped, but if it pleases you, it is yours.

Sebek

As I recall, today is your birthday... Hm? You want me to come to your birthday party? What poor semblance of a joke. I don't have the spare time to waltz into some human gathering like... WHAT!? MY LIEGE HIMSELF WILL ALSO BE THERE!? THEN SAY THAT FIRST! For goodness' sake, humans like you are just... so thoroughly thoughtless. Hurry and provide me the location and commencement time!

Lilia

Ooh, nice. So today's your birthday. Just look at how big you're getting. ...Khee hee hee. Don't look so downtrodden. It's just me pretending to be a doting gramps. The other guys in my dorm don't ever let me joke with them like that. And so, I have a present for you. Here, a CD of my performances, specially made! Take this and enjoy my raging screamo music with your whole heart and body.

OTHERS

Crowley and Rollo do not have new lines. Theirs are repeated from last year's.

Grim

Today's your birthday, huh. Happy Birthday to you! ...Huh? Do I got a gift for ya? What're ya even saying? Shouldn't ya be happy enough that you're my number one favorite henchie? Fiiine. Guess I can use my paws to pad you a massage sometime. Wouldn't want to hafta sit in a hard and uncomfy lap, after all!

Requested by Anonymous.

[marveltrumpshate]

As we said in our closing message at the end of this year’s auction, we've become something bigger and better than we ever imagined we could be when our journey began in 2018. As we mark half a decade of Marvel Trumps Hate, we want to share a few milestones with you starting with this year's auction results, so if you're used to our auction results posts…well, this one will look a little different. 😉

This year, 152 "Marvel"-ous creators came forward to offer 264 auctions.

And this year, we raised…

Back in 2018, our first auction total of $19,262.52 blew our minds—and this is over $16,700 more than that! 😮💖🎉

This was a quieter year than most (surely we're not the only ones suffering burnout because this has been A Year), so we're extremely grateful and proud of what we accomplished together. We broke records, some of which we were aiming for and some which we weren't. Of the ones we didn't expect, the record for the highest amount donated to a charity, which we smashed in 2021 ($6,349.98 to Planned Parenthood), was shattered with a whopping $8,039.99 going to Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders). We also had the biggest amount raised by a single auction this year: an unbelievable $2,101.67. All hail the power of pods!

And the biggest record of all that we set in 2023…

Drum roll, please…

With the help of 923 unique creators offering 2,217 auctions over the past five years, we raised a grand total of…

WE RAISED OVER $200,000, EVERYONE! No, we can't believe our eyes either. We're floored to say the least although maybe we shouldn't have been surprised. Every year, you manage to surprise us and set records, and this year was no different. You came out of the gate running and somehow you blazed right past our expectations, continued to make us adjust our stretch goals as bids and donations came in, and hit a number we weren't sure we'd reach even as we began to hope for it.

It’s been an incredible journey, with the mod chat pinging at all hours with excited gifs, effusive heart emojis, and inarticulate keyboard smashes as we expressed our love for the wonderful people in our fandom. It’s been very hard not blurting out the milestones as we reached them when we desperately wanted to share these amazing results with you all.

Creators, we couldn't have started this auction without you. We loved seeing so many veteran creators sign up again and were pleasantly surprised by how many new faces showed up to the party.

Bidders, as crazy as it sounds, most donations were small ones including a lot of those crazily high winning bids—so many of them were the result of people pooling their five dollars together! This has been consistently the case since MTH began. It just goes to show how much of an impact you can have when you’re part of something bigger than yourself. Each donation has a ripple effect, and enough ripples can cause a wave. You matter, and you can make a difference.

We also owe our success to our amazing signal boosters. There can’t be an auction without any participants, so to every fandom community Tumblr that agreed to reblog our posts, every Discord server mod who let us post announcements, and every person who shared our posts and encouraged their fandom friends to sign up and/or bid, thank you so much! Together, we reached hundreds of fantastic creators and bidders from all corners of the Marvel fandom, many of whom we didn't know and some who were hearing about us for the first time.

We’re so touched by the massive number of people who donated above and beyond their pledged amount, creators who took on multiple auctions and offered multiple winner slots, and bidders who accepted their second-place wins with such eagerness! We also had people make donations in the spirit of MTH even though they didn’t win an auction, which was beyond generous.

In addition to the astounding amount of money we were able to raise for charity, MTH was successful in other ways. We strove to be as inclusive as possible, determined to make this event a fandom-wide effort. Considering that the auctions covered over 381 unique platonic and romantic relationships and character-centric options (if we include "all ships/gen"-inclusive relationships, this number is even higher) across 36 universes within the Marvel multiverse, we can safely say that we accomplished our goal.

This spirit of inclusion also applies to our auctions and charities. Every one of 264 auctions was bid on, and every one of our 30 supported charities received donations. We’re in awe of your commitment to supporting all our creators and charities and thrilled that you spread all the love around, bidders!

Here’s our breakdown of the donations (to enlarge the image, click here and hover to see the donation amount per charity).

We’ve also listed the amount raised per charity on our 2023 auction results page.

From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for helping us turn our sixth Marvel Trumps Hate auction and the celebration of half a decade of MTH into such a fantastic experience. We cherish every single message of love and support that we received and continue to receive on our Discord server and through DMs, Tumblr messages, emails, tweets, etc. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! We wouldn't be half as good at this—we couldn't have done any of this—if we weren't doing it with you. And that's the truth. ❤️

To remember or learn why we created this auction in the first place, please check out our 2018 "thank you" post to all of our creators, bidders, signal boosters, and supporters.

If you'd like to stay updated on all of the 2023 Marvel Trumps Hate fills, follow us and/or check out the "mth 2023" tag on our Tumblr. You’ll also be able to find works posted on AO3 in our Marvel Trumps Hate 2023 collection and links to fills in our Discord server, which you can join to brainstorm prompts, chat about fills, and find out about other fandom events.

Thank you once again to everyone who volunteered their services, time, money, and platforms to spread the word. These are tough times we live in, and it's easy to believe that there's only so much you can do as an individual. But as Tony and Natasha realized throughout their years as Avengers, we become something more than ourselves when we're part of a team.

We may come from different walks of life and hail from different parts of the world. We may be part of different fandoms within the Marvel multiverse. Many of us don't cross paths except this one time of the year. But despite our differences, we share a common goal and because of our differences, we're capable of making the impossible possible. And the only way to do that is, as Steve and Tony learned over their years of knowing each other, together.

And with that, MTH 2023 has officially come to a close. We're so beyond grateful to you all and can’t wait to see all of your fanworks over the coming year! But first, we’re going to follow baby Groot and take a moment to relax.

Lots of love and gratitude, Your 2023 MTH mods

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Any tips for picking back up in the middle of a revision without having to start over? I wrote a book in 2019 and started a major revision in 2021. I printed the book and tore it apart with notes and switching timeline events/chapters around. Now I look at all the notes that are good advice and I would like to apply this progress to the story, but it's so overwhelming and jumbled up 😵‍💫

I've also recently picked up a back-burnered project I've been dreading, only to realize the notes I wrote solved 99% of the problems I had. The only thing holding me back was me, and it sounds like you're in the same boat.

Draft A New Outline - Having a way to track what changes you need to make is helpful, like using an Excel sheet (I know, but it does work) or color-coding changes. This will help so much, especially if you need to track big changes.

Go Through and Highlight What You Like - You may have to throw out whole chapters, but there's reasons you don't want to. Note what you really like - a turn of phrase, a character moment - and see if you can fit it in elsewhere. Always keep that cut folder or document to dig through later.

Set Micro Goals (And Keep Them!) - It's easier to dive into a new draft than to revise an old one. Chunk your goals in easy to accomplish ways. Instead of tackling a whole chapter a day, tackle a scene or a page. Instead of revising 800 words a day, narrow it down to 500 or 300. I make a big chart with my revision goals on it, and you're damn right I slap a cute Daiso sticker next to each goal accomplished. It really helps.

Work Backwards, Revise Forwards - If you have an all new ending with bigger and better stakes, figuring out how to get your plot there may require stepping back, chapter by chapter, to see what subplots you should add or scenes that need to be moved around.

However - and this is just what works for me - working toward a revised draft means starting the rewriting/revising process from Chapter One. That way I don't accidentally cover the same ground twice, and catch when I need to start a subplot sooner or rework descriptions I've used more than once.

Move Past The First 50 Pages - Don't get stuck at the beginning! It's so tempting to revise the first act to perfection, but you might need two or three more drafts to get to the real end of your story, and that might mean tossing all that hard work out. Keep going, and if you find yourself getting caught into fixing Chapter 3 when you're not sure Chapter 30 works, make a note and move on. Finishing your second draft is just as important as finishing your first.

Good luck and keep going!

[earthnashes]

We interrupt this artposting program to bring you the super rare progress photos of ya homey. :)

Generally I don’t like posting photos of myself, partly cuz I just don’t wanna (not the best selfie taker, what can I say) and partly cuz this blog is almost entirely my artstuff, but since I do wanna talk about my weightlifting journey sometimes I figured I’d make an exception every now and then. ;w;

More detail under the cut, but for the TL;DRs:

Fitness goal anniversary celebration. 2 years + some change in the making. Initial goals: fatloss, strengthbuilding, repair relationship with food

RED TOP PHOTOS: 220-ish lbs, 33-36% BMI, 2021

PINK AND BACK PHOTOS: 175lbs, 27-28% BMI, 2023

Current notes: Overall healthier and happier in my own body. Food relationship vastly improved. Noticeably stronger, higher energy, and much better asthma management

This one is to essentially celebrate the progress I’ve made thus far! A little late, but last month was my fitness journey’s anniversary. It’s been roughly 2 years since I started being physically active, and 1 year + some months since I’ve  consistently weight-trained.

That first pair of photos was me I thiiiiiink like 2 months into the start of all this, back in 2021? I weighed roughly 220-ish lbs at the time, BMI roughly 33-35% and I only note this because fatloss was very much a part of my overarching goals. I won’t lie, some of it was because of aesthetics, but a lot of it was because I felt like shit. As someone who was very sporty as a kid up til college, the change was very noticeable. I was ALWAYS tired no matter how much I slept. I had constant back pain and headaches. My biggest tipoff was the fact that my asthma management got worse. All that plus other factors is what really kicked my butt into gear into this journey.

The 2nd and 3rd sets of photos are from this year (2nd set was today, 3rd set was like 2 weeks ago), nearly 50lbs lighter and at a rough BMI of 27-28%. And I can’t lie I feel fuckin’ good. I can do pullups (couldn’t even do 1 back in the day). Pushups are fucking easy now. I can bench my own bodyweight. I can deadlift almost twice that. I don’t wheeze when I walk up the stairs, I take regular walks, I sleep better, my energy levels are far higher, my moods are overall far better, I have no backpain anymore... MY AFRO GREW AND I GOTS A TATTOO! :D

This is probably the strongest and healthiest I’ve ever been and that’s saying something in my eyes, all things considering. And it was fuckin’ hard for a variety of reasons I won’t talk your ears off about. Sometimes still is, but I feel more prepared and even eager at times to deal with the obstacles.

But yeah! Apologies for breaking from the arts and headcanons, I just wanted to be a lil proud of myself for a sec. :) Whatever journey ya’ll are on I hope you find it in yourself to be proud of the progress you’ve made as well, even with all the ups and downs! :>

[fannyyann]

Tkachuk tells NHL.com how change in approach lifted game for Panthers

Forward no longer playing it safe, becomes ultimate clutch player in Florida

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. – There was a time in Matthew Tkachuk’s life when he played it safe. It’s hard to remember now, hard to get that image out of your head, the one where he is crushing opponents and taking over Stanley Cup Playoff games and literally walking off the ice after scoring a game-winning goal in the fourth overtime of Game 1 of the 2023 Eastern Conference Final. 

It’s hard to remember there was a before. 

But there was.

Once upon a time, like most mortals, Tkachuk didn’t want to make a mistake. He didn’t want to be blamed. He didn’t want to err, to let down his teammates, the fans, himself. It was a time when he wasn’t quite as confident, wasn’t quite as assured -- if that can be believed -- when he didn’t know that, for him, safe was the riskiest play of all. 

“I think maybe earlier in my career, being a young player, not wanting to be the guy that made the mistake, [I] maybe played a little bit safe in the high-pressure situations,” Tkachuk said. “Just trying to play it smart and, honestly, safe’s a perfect word for it. 

“And then a couple years ago, I was like, why not make the play when nobody else wants to try to attempt it because they’re too nervous [about] what bad’s gonna happen? And I’ve seemed to go the other way, in the extreme other way, and that’s seemed to work the last few years.”

Tkachuk pinpoints it exactly, to 2021-22, his final season with the Calgary Flames, before the trade, before he landed in South Florida and became a genre-crossing star, before he helped propel the Panthers to the Stanley Cup Final last season. 

“I was like, ‘Why not?’” Tkachuk said. “Why wouldn’t you want to be the guy that can make that right play at the last minute of the game or whatever? … I’m like, I’m capable, I feel like I’m a good enough player where I can be confident in myself no matter what the situation is. And that’s just kind of kept going.”

The Panthers and Tkachuk will need it to keep going, as they head to the playoffs having hit a tough skid of late. The Panthers, who are set to face the Boston Bruins at TD Garden on Saturday (3:30 p.m. ET; ABC, ESPN+, SN, TVAS), are 3-6-1 in their past 10 games, including a 6-0 win against the Ottawa Senators on Thursday. 

They are second in the Atlantic Division, four points behind the Bruins, having clinched a playoff spot on March 28, a far cry from last season when the Panthers clinched with a single game remaining on their schedule. They then fell behind 3-1 in the best-of-7 first-round series against the Bruins. That was when they -- and Tkachuk -- came roaring back to force a Game 7. To win that Game 7. 

“I knew what he could bring on a stage like that, but I don’t think the whole rest of the world knew what he could do,” brother and Senators captain Brady Tkachuk said. “So for him to show what he was all about is pretty cool. And I think he’s got another level to his game.”

Paul Maurice thinks he knows why. 

The Panthers coach has seen a handful of players in his career who are elite, who might even rise to the level of potential Hockey Hall of Fame players. And when he’s viewing them, he notes something, something that seems to be common to all of them.

“I watch them and they have a higher expectation of the result,” Maurice said. “And the analogy I used [was] when that guy goes in and buys a suit, he expects it to fit right and it’s going to look good. He has an expectation of the result. 

“With Matthew, it seems to me, it’s tied, there’s four minutes [left], he’s excited about that situation because he has a really high expectation that something good’s going to happen because over the course of his life, that’s exactly what’s happened. It wasn’t a lottery. It’s just he’s gone out and made it happen, so he wants to and believes it can. 

“I never sensed any arrogance on him. I truly have not. It’s not like, hey, give me the puck, I’m the shooter. He just thinks when he hits the ice, it could happen, and his life has told him that it could happen. So why wouldn’t you enjoy the hell out of that?”

Oh, and he is. 

Not only has South Florida been a revelation for Tkachuk, so too has the team, which has entered into the top echelon of the NHL. He has figured out himself and his game, not only that he can -- and will -- come up big in the biggest of moments, but that he can also adjust to fit what the team requires, mold his game to the situation. 

Asked if he is a chameleon, he readily agrees. 

Especially in the playoffs. 

“I look at those types of playoff games differently,” Tkachuk said. “Like some people if they’re not producing, they’re not doing too much to help their team, whereas one of the good things that I’m able to do is recognize what my team needs out of me on that particular night or that particular shift. 

“There are some nights when offense comes second and all I’m trying to do is run around, be physical, try to forecheck and try to gain my team momentum like that. Even if teams are keying in on me or really focusing on me, there’s ways to make an impact.”

No one can argue with that. The Bruins still bear the scars -- some literal, some figurative -- of what Tkachuk did to them in the playoffs last spring. 

In the final four games of the first-round series, Tkachuk had eight points (four goals, four assists) to help them win the best-of-7 series. 

Boston forward Trent Frederic, who traces his understanding of Tkachuk back to basement games as kids in St. Louis, said that he thinks that, likely, had Tkachuk not been on the Panthers, the Bruins would have advanced. 

But he was. They didn’t. And now it’s not hard to believe that many teams are uninterested in seeing the Panthers on the opposing bench in the playoffs, in seeing Tkachuk on the opposing bench. 

Before a cracked sternum forced him to miss the fifth and final game of the last season’s Cup Final, Tkachuk had 24 points (11 goals, 13 assists), including four game-winning goals, in 20 playoff games. 

“So the playoffs, I think the one quote, he’s a [expletive] gamer, that’s how I feel about him in the playoffs last year. And I know it’s profane, but it’s also very specific words, it’s exactly the way I feel about him,” Maurice said. “Sometimes the words just fit. Sometimes they’re casual and you swear too much. Sometimes I do. But that is how I -- a [expletive] gamer. He comes up with the biggest plays time and time again. And his energy level to be able to play at that level, that was specific to the hockey. 

“This year, I’ve gotten to watch what an incredible leader he is.”

He sees it on the bench, in the exhortation of his teammates, in his calming of them, in his barking at them. He sees it when he brought a friend and his two kids into the dressing room after a game in Detroit, when Tkachuk paused in his postgame showering routine to sign a jersey, to take a picture, to get Carter Verhaeghe out of the shower to sign the other jersey. 

“I don’t even blame players who don’t sign,” Maurice said. “But he doesn’t have to do that, and he does that consistently. … It’s not fake. It’s not showy. I think he understands the responsibility that he has and he takes care of it.”

There are so many responsibilities heaped on Tkachuk now. 

He is a leader on the ice and off it. He is the second-leading scorer, with 83 points (24 goals, 59 assists), the top chirper and certainly the most talked about player on the Panthers. And he is ready, once again, to receive that pressure. He is ready for the playoffs. He is ready for the eyes and the lights and all that comes with it.

“I enjoy it,” Tkachuk said. “I think that the high intense games and the rivalry games and the, just like the intense part of the games that some guys might not feel too confident or comfortable, I seem to thrive in them and I love those moments.”

There will be no shortage of those moments in the waning days of the season, in the start of the playoffs, as the Panthers attempt to replicate their Cinderella run to the Final last season -- without the Cinderella part. 

Because much like the Panthers, who have been at or near the top of the NHL all season, there will be no surprises when it comes to Tkachuk. He is known, now. Known for stealing games, for coming up big in the biggest moments, for never, ever playing it safe. 

And when the pressure comes, as it will, he will be right there. 

“Knowing him, that’s going to make him go to another level,” Brady Tkachuk said. “And I think for him, he’s going to love, not the spotlight, but the opportunity that comes from that and what he’s going to be able to do with that. He gets better when the pressure is higher.”

[dr3amofagame]

sorry to be late to the party but it does amuse me when people talk about how c!dream was going to lock tommy up in pandora yada yada butterfly behind glass doll puppet something something and like. that man didnt even have the keys . he literally didn't. like yeah he could threaten sam into compliance or whatever villainisms i GUESS but pandora being this thing that was solely under his control is just blatantly untrue--yes he made it with sam together even in canon, but sam was still the one that singlehandedly had access to literally every security mechanism in that place. dream did nawt have the keys to the vault. and like, that on its own would just be a comment that's slightly eye-rolly, right, but paired with the other common sentiment that the only reason why dream surrendered was to keep tommy from killing himself, it's EVEN FUNNIER.

like i dont blame people, necessarily, for thinking this in itself, because obviously that was the narrative that staged finale was selling (in january 2021) (that is, you know, over 3 years ago) but like the logical inconsistencies are egregious and obviously that's been pointed out since the beginning and even moreso hilarious now that the finale was confirmed staged in canon. bc what we're looking at here is that people are talking abt how dream was desperate to lock tommy up under his singular control in a box that he...literally didn't have the keys to, but was willing to be locked up in that same box because he didn't want tommy to die.

when this man had the revive book.

and limbo was literally, in a sense, a box that only he and punz had the keys to.

like if this man wanted tommy all to himself so bad all he's gotta do is let the kid die, wait til everyone leaves, and then revive his ass in the middle of his giant stage set blackstone disc vault where tommy would've had nothing, been completely defenseless, and entirely at dream's mercy with literally no one knowing that he was even alive. limbo was much more secure a box than pandora could ever hope to be considering the fact that NO ONE KNEW ABOUT THE BOOK YET and unlike with pandora, dream was the one with the keys. like if this guy's goal is apparently to "keep tommy locked up and singularly at his mercy forever" then why's he choosing to lock him up in a box he literally cant get into bc the security is entirely in the hands of a whole different guy when he could ... kill him and put him in a box that only he has the key to MAKE IT MAKE SENSEEEEE

[reasonsforhope]

"While mainstream media increasingly cover violence and legislative attacks against trans people, many scholars and activists worry that focusing just on violence and discrimination fails to capture the full experience of being trans.

Drawing on the success of movements like the Black Joy Project, which uses art to promote Black healing and community-building, trans activists are challenging one-dimensional depictions of their community by highlighting the unique joys of being transgender.

My research on trans parents affirms the reality of trans joy. From 2019 to 2021, I interviewed 54 transgender women — both current and prospective parents — from diverse racial and class backgrounds across the country.

I found that while many have navigated discrimination in their parenting journeys, they also have fulfilling parent-child relationships, often with the support of partners, families of origin and their communities.

Gender euphoria

Scholars and community members use the term gender euphoria to describe a “joyful feeling of rightness in one’s gender/sex.”

It diverges from the diagnosis of gender dysphoria, or a sense of conflict between assigned sex and gender identity typically associated with feelings of distress and discomfort.

Gender euphoria celebrates feeling comfortable with who you are and how you are perceived by the world.

Some people transition with a specific set of goals, while others discover new sources of joy and new facets of their identity over time.

Many of the trans women I interviewed expressed their gender euphoria in relation to their role as mothers. A Black trans woman in her 20s, whom I will call Gloria, experiences joy in being recognized as a mother.

“I love being called Mom. That’s the greatest thing,” she told me. “I love waking up every morning to see [my child’s] beautiful face. It keeps me motivated.” ...

For many trans people, transitioning opens up a new set of possibilities. When I asked Adriana, a trans Latina in her 30s, what it was like to come out as trans, she told me,

“I’ve never been happier. The happiest day of my life was when my daughter was born, and the second happiest day of my life was when I [started transitioning].”

Family and community connections

While some trans people do experience rejection from their families of origin, that is not true for the majority of the community.

In a 2015 national survey of over 27,700 trans adults, the U.S. Trans Survey, 60% of respondents reported having families who are supportive of their trans identity.

Trans women also form chosen families with friends, co-workers and other community members. Relationships with other trans people can have particularly positive effects on identity development and overall well-being, including emotional resilience, self-acceptance and a sense of connection.

Trans community care

In addition to caring for their biological and adopted children, the trans women I interviewed felt a responsibility to take care of their community.

Sometimes this care manifested as parent-child relationships, in which respondents provide financial or emotional support to LGBTQ+ youth.

Maggie, a white woman in her 50s, didn’t know she was a parental figure for her “queer kids” until they tagged her on Instagram to celebrate Mother’s Day.

“Someone might go, ‘Hey, can I stay on your sofa tonight? I’m having a hard time.’ Well, yeah, of course,” she said.

“Or they might hang around the shop [I work at], and only later it dawns on me, ‘Oh, this was the only place they could come and get affirmed and not feel weird.’” ...

Miriam, a white trans woman in her 60s, agreed that she has a lot to learn from younger trans people.

“A lot of my community today, people who I count as family and my beloveds, are not of my generation,” she said. ‘Beloveds’ is the term she uses to describe her platonic loved ones.

“I learn a lot from my beloveds in their 20s and 30s, who don’t have the same baggage I [dealt with] about how I could be and who I could be.”"

-via GoodGoodGood via The Conversation, July 14, 2023

[pinkpigtailsprincess]

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Summer Glow up: creating new habits 🎀⭐️ *࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ!

Hi Dolls!! Welcome Back 2 Dollies 2 Months of Summer Glow Up !! 🎀⭐️ Today im gonna talk all about implementing brand new habits in my life !!

> Hobbies !! 🎀

> Academics !! 📒

> Beauty Care !! 🧖‍♀️

> Scheduling !! ☀️

> Taking Baby Steps !! 🛼

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Hobbies!! 🎀

…: This Summer I Plan on Taking up Some brand New Hobbies to keep my self busy and learn about brand new things bc everyday is useful!! and so i can use my time more wisely some hobbies i have in mind are…

- Yoga

- Painting

- Creative Writing

- Learning Japanese + Spanish

- Reading

- Puzzles!

- Blogging

- Learning To Code

- Doll Collecting

- Book Collecting

- Sewing + Crocheting

- Digital Art

- Piano

and obvii im already a blogger but i still added it anyways i will watching videos on how to get into these hobbies and videos on learning Spanish and more Japanese, also fun fact i’ve actually been studying Japanese sine 2021 but i stopped bc it got to hard but im starting back up!! anyways, after i watch the videos im gonna set up a financial list bc i have the fund all of these but its okay bc i can easily get money!! 🎀

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Academics !! 🎀

More Goals of mine are to raise my grades in an academic space bc i do have decent grades but i wanna aim higher and have PERFECT Grades so in turn that means i must study more and have more discipline and not so irresponsible with my time!! and i also wanna study subjects outside of school bc its always good to learn something new!! now for learning tips so far i have..

- Flash Cards

- Practice Methods

- Teaching Someone Else

- Trying to explain it to a 5 yr old

- Study a Week Before

- watch ted talks on topics

- SLEEP

- write out notes

Now i Also Have a list of subjects i want to learn about!!

- drawing facial expressions + bodies

- Sewing Stiches + How to Hem and Crochet

- How 2 Draw Bodies + Poses

- Full Anatomy 4 Both Genders

- Japanese + Spanish + French + ASL

- Color Theory

- Learning Cursive + Improving Handwriting

- Expanding Vocabulary

- Religious Cults

- Case and Law

- Poison and Toxicology

- Astronomy

- Medical Surgical Instruments

- Matriarchal Societies

- Socialism Societies

Now i definitely won’t be able to do all of this all at once bc it would definitely we too stressful so im gonna choose as least 2-3 to start with and study them and just learn! 🎀🧁

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Beauty Care !! 🐬

📧: Now I already have my regular beauty care regime skin,hair,eyebrows,eyelashes etc. but im also more focused on getting weekly treatments & weekly beauty care habits like…

- Nails

- Hair

- Eyelashes

- Face Mask

- Hand + Foot Mask

And i wanna try and find people in my city that can do this especially for nails bc i would go to the nail salon but i feel like they won’t be able to do it exactly how i want it to be !!!

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Scheduling !! ⭐️

Now That im gonna be so busy i need to make sure i also stay organized with my time so it doesn’t lead to stress so ill have my regular school classes on my regular schedule then making dedicated hours to studying Things i wanna learn about + Language Learning!

My Workouts are always early morning before school in the evening hours before i got to bed so i won’t have to worry about that affecting my academics. With my Hobbies i feel like only some of them really need scheduling so ill also make time dedicated to those as well !!!!

Beauty Maintenance will probably always be on weekends for the stuff that weekly/bi weekly like face masks,manipedis,hair etc!!

and last but definitely not least!!

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Taking Baby Steps !! ⭐️

This whole process is still all new too me so i’ll definitely only be doing a little at a time and working my way up and i get more familiar with the change in my daily life and i won’t pressure my self to complete everything extremely quickly and just take my time with everything! bye bye dolls tysm 4 keeping up with me while doing this kisses 4 all of u!!! 🎀⭐️

[xtruss]

Native Tribe To Get Back Land 160 Years After Largest Mass Hanging In US History

Upper Sioux Agency state park in Minnesota, where bodies of those killed after US-Dakota war are buried, to be transferred

— Associated Press | Sunday 3 September, 2023

The Upper Sioux Agency State Park near Granite Falls, Minnesota. Photograph: Trisha Ahmed/AP

Golden prairies and winding rivers of a Minnesota state park also hold the secret burial sites of Dakota people who died as the United States failed to fulfill treaties with Native Americans more than a century ago. Now their descendants are getting the land back.

The state is taking the rare step of transferring the park with a fraught history back to a Dakota tribe, trying to make amends for events that led to a war and the largest mass hanging in US history.

“It’s a place of holocaust. Our people starved to death there,” said Kevin Jensvold, chairman of the Upper Sioux Community, a small tribe with about 550 members just outside the park.

The Upper Sioux Agency state park in south-western Minnesota spans a little more than 2 sq miles (about 5 sq km) and includes the ruins of a federal complex where officers withheld supplies from Dakota people, leading to starvation and deaths.

Decades of tension exploded into the US-Dakota war of 1862 between settler-colonists and a faction of Dakota people, according to the Minnesota Historical Society. After the US won the war, the government hanged more people than in any other execution in the nation. A memorial honors the 38 Dakota men killed in Mankato, 110 miles (177km) from the park.

Jensvold said he has spent 18 years asking the state to return the park to his tribe. He began when a tribal elder told him it was unjust Dakota people at the time needed to pay a state fee for each visit to the graves of their ancestors there.

Native American tribe in Maine buys back Island taken 160 years ago! The Passamaquoddy’s purchase of Pine Island for $355,000 is the latest in a series of successful ‘land back’ campaigns for indigenous people in the US. Pine Island. Photograph: Courtesy the writer, Alice Hutton. Friday 4 June, 2021

Lawmakers finally authorized the transfer this year when Democrats took control of the house, senate and governor’s office for the first time in nearly a decade, said State Senator Mary Kunesh, a Democrat and descendant of the Standing Rock Nation.

Tribes speaking out about injustices have helped more people understand how lands were taken and treaties were often not upheld, Kunesh said, adding that people seem more interested now in “doing the right thing and getting lands back to tribes”.

But the transfer also would mean fewer tourists and less money for the nearby town of Granite Falls, said Mayor Dave Smiglewski. He and other opponents say recreational land and historic sites should be publicly owned, not given to a few people, though lawmakers set aside funding for the state to buy land to replace losses in the transfer.

The park is dotted with hiking trails, campsites, picnic tables, fishing access, snowmobiling and horseback riding routes and tall grasses with wildflowers that dance in hot summer winds.

“People that want to make things right with history’s injustices are compelled often to support action like this without thinking about other ramifications,” Smiglewski said. “A number, if not a majority, of state parks have similar sacred meaning to Indigenous tribes. So where would it stop?”

In recent years, some tribes in the US, Canada and Australia have gotten their rights to ancestral lands restored with the growth of the Land Back movement, which seeks to return lands to Indigenous people.

‘It’s a powerful feeling’: the Indigenous American tribe helping to bring back buffalo 🦬! Matt Krupnick in Wolakota Buffalo Range, South Dakota. Sunday 20 February, 2022. The Wolakota Buffalo Range in South Dakota has swelled to 750 bison with a goal of reaching 1,200. Photograph: Matt Krupnick

A National Park has never been transferred from the US government to a tribal nation, but a handful are Co-managed with Tribes, including Grand Portage National Nonument in northern Minnesota, Canyon de Chelly National Monument in Arizona and Glacier Bay National Park in Alaska, Jenny Anzelmo-Sarles of the National Park Service said.

This will be the first time Minnesota transfers a state park to a Native American community, said Ann Pierce, director of Minnesota State Parks and trails at the natural resources department.

Minnesota’s transfer, expected to take years to finish, is tucked into several large bills covering several issues. The bills allocate more than $6m to facilitate the transfer by 2033. The money can be used to buy land with recreational opportunities and pay for appraisals, road and bridge demolition and other engineering.

Chris Swedzinski and Gary Dahms, the Republican lawmakers representing the portion of the state encompassing the park, declined through their aides to comment about their stances on the transfer.

— The Guardian USA

[thenextdawn-temporarilyclosed]

One of Your Kind (Ch. 5)

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10

Word count: 5.2K

Summary: Jenna is getting very flirty with you and you notice that on several occasions, only you try to ignore everything until your friends decided to set something up…

Warnings: maybe a little bit of angst? Otherwise nothing really

Pairing: Jenna Ortega X Fem!Reader

———

November 2021

A couple weeks passed since your fight with Tim, but you didn’t want to see it like that. You wanted to see it as two weeks passed since you opened up with Jenna, since she slept in your bed as you both cuddled, that’s how you wanted to see it. Jenna had made it her personal goal to make you feel better, to make you trust people again and to just… be happy. She wanted to see you happy, she wanted to spend time with you. It started off small: at the start she would come in your trailer or you would go in hers, you’d play games or talk about anything or even watch movies together, actively avoiding horror movies as she knew you didn’t like them, you were more into fantasy and sci-fi and she took a liking to those genres too, and it often happened that you’d fall asleep in her bed, snuggled up to her. Even if she was the one in your trailer, you both snuggled up to each other and you’d always fall asleep first.

You never knew that Jenna purposely stayed awake longer to just watch you sleep and play with your hair, sometimes even tracing your skin with her fingers - she was glad you always slept soundly. You looked so relaxed whenever she was around and she noticed that, your face muscles were always tense at work, unlike how they are when you’re around her. You looked peaceful around her and she loved that. She loved how you felt safe whenever you were in her proximity. But you were too innocent, too innocent to realize that she was looking at you differently, too innocent to realized that maybe - just maybe - Jenna had feelings for you. However, you were still, just best friends.

You were indeed happier thanks to her but you had no doubts about that. You had been trying to reach out to her for a year and now that you spent the majority of your time with her, you were happy. You were slowly feeling better and starting to open up to people again, though only Jenna knew your actual experiences, only she knew how you truly felt and she was glad she did, because she was there whenever you had those small break downs, she was there when you were scared to lose your job. Slowly but surely you started hanging out with everyone else again. They had questions but you dodged them thanks to Jenna’s help, she always wanted to protect you and you couldn’t be more grateful to have met her and even though you were quiet at first, soon enough you were really good friends with them: you were back at laughing, back at joking. You were the girl you used to be when you first met Jenna and you barely knew any english.

Once again, it was thanks to Jenna’s help that you went back at work. You talked with Tim and you both apologized to each other and as a director under his teachings you were becoming as precise and as meticulous as he was, which is why most of the times he gave you the job of combing Jenna’s bangs. He was so obsessed with it, he needed each strand of hair to be in a particular place and he trusted you to just know what was gonna work for the episode and this morning that’s exactly what you were doing. As Jenna was sitting in a chair after getting her hair braided you were trying to find the right position to comb her bangs. If you knelt down she was too up high, if you stood up she was too low, if you bent down your back hurt… however you were trying to do your best.

“Wouldn’t it be best if you sat on my legs? I can see you’re having a hard time” Jenna said, and you gulped nervously as you tried to hide it with a giggle. “Nah don’t worry I can still work with this” you said and she scoffed. “Oh come on! We’ve known each other long enough. Plus you’ll get a better view and a more comfortable angle to work from” you eventually gave in and sat on her legs straddling her, you were nervous and she sensed that, but why were you nervous? You were doing your job, and she was your friend. Right?. Jenna’s hands found their place on your thigh which only incremented your nervousness, a pink shade appeared on your cheeks but she ignored it. Ha! She made you nervous. she could basically hear your fast heartbeat and As much as she enjoyed that, she also needed to calm you down and she did so by moving her head repeatedly and messing up your work, causing you to laugh at the faces she made as you definitely did calm down “stop it! Come in I need to get this done” you laughed and she did too, but she continued on moving her head from side to side, making it impossible for you to get the job done but you didn’t care, you were having fun.

That was until you noticed it was getting late and Jenna soon needed to be on set. Without thinking of it you very gently grabbed her chin, making her stop her movements as she looked at you and you did the same, her eyes moving from your eyes to your lip and for a brief second you did the same. Silence filled the room for a while, your hand stil having a hold of her chin as you looked at each other, slowly leaning closer to her until the door was opened and Emma stormed in. You quickly stood up and off of her as Jenna removed her hands from your thighs only to place them in her own lap. “Hey Jen you need to-“ Emma stopped talking when she saw you get off of Jenna, having briefly seen that you were sitting in her lap. “Did I interrupt something?” Your reply came quicker than expected “no not at all” you said laughing nervously. “Hmmm. Okay. Jen you’re needed on set” Emma said before leaving the room and you sighed of relief before turning back to Jenna, none of you saying anything for a while as you went back to work on her bangs, this time standing up. Only after a couple minutes you noticed Jenna smiling slightly at you.

“Why are you smiling?” You asked her and she slightly shook her head as to not ruin your work. “Nothing, you just look cute, all focused on me” you blushed brighter than earlier, this time trying to hide the smile. Oh god, was she flirting? Yes, she was flirting and you were falling straight into her trap. “Come on let’s get you on set” you said, avoiding her attempt at flirting but Jenna smiled anyway, she was the reason you were nervous, - a happy kind of nervous indeed - and she was going to take advantage of it. Of course Tim was more than happy with the way you combed her bangs, if only he knew how long it took you to make it this right.

You and Jenna never talked about what would have happened if Emma hadn’t come in the room and you were still acting the same way with each other, she was as flirty as ever, but you’d often take it as a joke. You didn’t think she liked you, maybe she didn’t and you were there deluding yourself of what could be if she did like you, would you a be a happy couple? Would she want to make it public? And would she hurt you? This is what you were mostly scared of. You were scared of betrayal, you were scared of being abandoned again. Maybe this is also why you never replied to her attempts at flirting. However, Thanksgiving was soon, very soon. In Italy there’s no such thing and you had never celebrated it in America either so this would be very, very new for you. Everyone was making such a big deal out of it and you didn’t know why, it was just a lunch with a turkey in the middle of the table… right?

They were going to celebrate it on set too, and of course you were invited too. In some ways it reminded you of the huge Christmas dinner with the whole family everyone has in Italy. You missed your home country in some ways, but not because of your family. No, you hated them. However, when the day came you were all having lunch on set, you had a restaurant prepare you all the food and take it on set so you didn’t have to move to go to a restaurant and of course, you were late. The night before you had gone to bed late because you were watching a movie and you forgot to set your alarm so you had to prepare in less than five minutes and head to the lunch. When you arrived, everyone had already arrived “I’m sorry for being late” you said and caught your breath, you had ran there. “Over here!” You turned to where Jenna was calling you from. “I saved you a seat next to me”

It was a pretty normal lunch, you were sitting next to Jenna and you were both amongst the rest of the cast. You were the youngest amongst the recording crew so most of the free time you had you spent it with the cast. As much time as it took you, you enjoyed their presence and they enjoyed yours. Once again, or maybe we should say like always, Jenna was flirting with you. “Girls you would make a really cute couple, you know that right?” Emma said. You were really good friends with her too, so she could afford the confidence she had with you, but her comment made you blush. “W-What? No we’re just really good friends.” You said as you drank a sip of your water, trying not to choke at Emma’s next comment. “Yeah mhm. You’re always in each other’s trailers and you know what I always say about couples? “And they were roommates” which you are basically and I’m never wrong” you sunk in your chair after having almost chocked, and you failed to notice the blush that had settled on Jenna’s cheeks too.

It was a really nice lunch and you ate A LOT. But after the lunch, like all the time Jenna invited you to her trailer. Recently you’d help her revise her lines, so you thought that this is what you two were going to do today as well. “God my back hurts a lot” Jenna said, grunting slightly as she bent to put her purse down. “Is it because of the stunts?” You asked her, and she nodded, sitting on her bed “we told you to get a stunt double… you’re not used to all this, you should have expected to get back pains” you said, still standing awkwardly in her trailer as you heard her chuckle “you sound like my mom” that made you laugh and shake your head. “Do you need a back massage? I’m pretty good at that” Jenna looked at you with pleading eyes and you smiled, taking your jacket off having understood what she wanted “take off your shirt and lay down on hour stomach” you turned around as she did so, and when she said she was ready you walked over to her, climbing on the bed and straddling her lower back.

As soon as you started massaging her you felt how tense her muscles were, and you heard her grunt of pain first, which turned to relief. You started from her lower back where her ditches of venus were. “This feels amazing…” she nearly whispered, she had her eyes closed and a small smile on her face, her head resting on her arms. The more you went up the more she relaxed and you had to move her long hair out of the way. At some point though she reached her hand back to unhook her bra, and you could say you panicked. “W-what are you doing?” Jenna could feel you had gotten tense. “Relax… I just unhooked my bra. I’m just giving you some more space” she said, “I’m not stripping off, we’re not there… yet.” As she giggled after her own comment, you gulped nervously and resumed with your massages. To say you wanted to bend down and kiss her bare skin was an understatement, and you really refrained from doing so.

The rest of the massage you were both quiet, and only when you were finished did you notice that Jenna had fallen asleep. You smiled and gently climbed off of her, hooking her bra again very gently, as you looked at her. She had been filming a lot recently and she looked exhausted. The freckles on her nose and cheeks even more visible when she wasn’t wearing make up, and you moved a strand of hair behind her eat to give her a better look, god was she stunning. You hesitantly leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, only to see her smile slightly, making you smile as well. “Sleep well Jen” you whispered and pulled the covers on top of her before going back to your own trailer.

December 2021

Christmas was near and you couldn’t wait to spend it with your friends. These past years you didn’t like Christmas but this year you were really excited, you knew it was hugely celebrated in America and even if now you were in Romania and they didn’t celebrate it like you guys do, you had ordered a Christmas tree from Amazon as well as some Christmas decorations to put up in your trailer and around set. In Italy it’s a tradition to put up Christmas decorations on the 8th of December and you were going to do the same thing here and you couldn’t be happier. You woke up earlier than everyone else, so that when they woke up they would see what you did. Useless to say that the cast was very happy with what they saw, you could see all their jaws drop. However, the “grownups” weren’t as happy.

“You need to get this stuff off of everything” director of the cameras said, and you pouted “oh come on! It’s Christmas” you said and he only scoffed “make everything disappear within ten minutes” he insisted “but-“ “now, (Y/N). We need to start filming” you sighed “gee, the grinch has a better Christmas spirit than you” you said, and without looking at the cast you climbed on the ladder to start with the higher up things, only… the ladder wasn’t as stable as you thought and you lost your balance, taking a really bad fall as your head hit the ground, though luckily you didn’t pass out “(Y/N)!” You heard someone yell, and by the time you sat up you saw everyone around you look worried. Well at least you thought so. Your vision was blurred, you saw double and even your hearing was confused: everyone was speaking and asking you questions but you couldn’t make out what they were saying. “Guys I don’t- I don’t understand what you’re asking me” you said and rubbed your head where you hit it, you were loosing some blood but it wasn’t much.

“What happened?” You asked as you tried to stand up. “No no no don’t stand up” Jenna said but you couldn’t understand any of it. However she was late, because you had already stood up but you lost your balance again. Luckily people were around you and made you sit back down. “Guys I’m fine” you kept saying, their voices sounded all mixed together and you couldn’t make out their faces, but you were sure Jenna was there. “How many fingers do you see?” Jenna said, holding out two fingers. hers was the only voice you understood. “Uh five? I don’t know” you said as you held your head and grunted. The next thing you knew you were in an ambulance, being taken to the hospital with Jenna coming with you. The whole situation was all a distant memory and you barely remembered it had happened when you got back from your trance state. “Ouch that hurts-“ you said as you felt the pain in the back of your head, it was bandaged and you had a couple stitches.

Only a few seconds later you realized you were at the hospital, and Jenna was there. Wait, wasn’t Jenna supposed to be filming? “What happened?” You asked as you sat up, looking at Jenna. She looked extremely worried, leg moving up and down at a speed as she fiddled with her own fingers. She was still in her Wednesday clothes for set. “You fell and hit your head,” Jenna started. “You scared us, (Y/N). You couldn’t stand up straight, you didn’t understand what we were saying, your vision was confused, I was scared” well, you had no recognition of all of this, you blinked twice and Jenna looked at you with glossy eyes as if you were seriously injured “it’s alright Jen, I’m okay now” you tried to reassure her and she nodded “I know… you just scared me big time” you looked at her again “want a hug?” You said with a smile, opening your arms for her. She seemed hesitant at first, but before any tears could leave her eyes she moved in your arms and a shaky breath escaped her lips as you held her tight. “I’m okay”

You left the hospital that same afternoon as you were better, and as you got back to the trailers you remembered why you had took that fall. You were asked to take the Christmas decorations off, and because of that all your happiness for Christmas vanished. “Are you gonna come to Percy’s trailer to play some Uno?” Jenna asked you with a smile, which you gave in return, only a smaller one. “I think I’ll go back to my trailer. In italy we put up the Christmas tree today and I want to do it. Those idiots already ruined the Christmas atmosphere, I at least want to have a Christmas tree in my trailer, you know?” Jenna looked at you with a small smile and a look of admiration, maybe even love- no definitely not love but it was different than any other time. “Why are you looking at me like that?” You giggled “I know it’s childish but it’s important to me” you said and waited for an answer “no it’s not childish at all, I admire that,” there it was, admiration. “Tell you what, I’ll come help you later tonight, okay?” She said. The thought of that made you happy, and you smiled brightly “see you later then!”

You definitely had your hopes up because she did not show up. You had left a few Christmas decoration for her to put on the tree including the star that goes on top, but she didn’t come and she didn’t even send you a text warning you, and to say you were a little bit sad was enough, though you didn’t blame her, she was probably really tired… but at least you expected a text. You had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for her only for her to not show up. That day you didn’t talk to her the whole day even if she had tried multiple times to apologize. “(Y/N) I’m sorry okay?” She said for the thousand time, following you back to your trailer “will you listen to me!?” She said and you finally turned to look at her, leaving her speechless for a short moment. “I’m sorry. It was late, I was tired. I didn’t even know what time it was and when I noticed, I had to go to sleep because my alarm would have rang two hours later. You get that right?” You sighed and nodded, looking down “I do get that, I don’t blame you for that. It’s just that I was waiting for you, I had left you a few decorations to put up and you didn’t show up, you didn’t even send a text… I’m just sad, that’s it” you said and shrugged

She apologized again and you replied with “it’s okay, I put them up this morning so the it’s fully decorated now” You saw her nod after that, and then move her eyes to the ground. Now she felt guilty. It was only a week later when you found yourself in a very, very awkward situation with Jenna. Emma and the others had been confabulating something and you knew it, they were looking at you and you would give them confused glares, and you didn’t know that but they were looking at Jenna, too. Were they maybe trying to set you up on a date with her? “Hey (Y/N), can you come here real quick?” Emma called for you, and you were anxious of what was waiting for you. “STOP!” You stopped dead in your tracks. “Stay there, don’t move” she said and then proceeded to call Jenna too. “What’s the meaning of this?” You said, only for your voice to be cut off by Emma’s voice calling for Jenna, and she walked over to where you were and stopped next to you. “Perfect!” Emma said, almost jumping of excitement. “Now look up” you gave her a glare before looking up.

Mistletoe.

Oh no you thought, this is bad. This is way worst than what you had anticipated, this was worst than a set up date, you had expected anything but some mistletoe, now you had to straight up kiss her. “You can’t be serious right now” you brought a hand up to your face, perhaps to hide the blush that had made its way in your cheeks and neck, you didn’t dare to look at Jenna, but she was looking down shyly too, bangs covering her eyes as she tried to suppress her smile, until you had what you thought was a brilliant idea. You stepped away from under the mistletoe, just one step. “Well I’m not under the mistletoe now so we can’t…-“ you were quickly interrupted when Jenna grabbed your arm, to prevent you from moving any further away from her as she pulled you in close, arms linked around your waist as yours automatically found place on her shoulders “… kiss…” you whispered, now that both your faces were inches away from each other.

You could feel her hesitant hot breath against your own lips that were parted ever so slightly, her eyes moving very quickly from your right eye, your left one and then your lips, creating some sort of triangle shape. Now that you were this close you felt your breath falter, heart hammering against your chest and you were so scared that it was going to come out of it if you didn’t calm down, however how could you? How could you calm down when Jenna was looking at you with nothing but love in her eyes? Her arms tightened their grip around your waist to bring you closer to her and only then you thought, oh how ethereal she looks. She looks like an angel, a goddess and any kind of positive affirmation you could come up with. “J-Jen…” you whispered nervously, you were really tense in her arms but she wasted no time in taking care of that when she leaned in to place her soft lips on yours. The beating of your heart only increases as you finally relaxed and gave in to the almost foreign feeling, everything else became background noises, eyes closing and your hand hesitantly moved from Jenna’s shoulder to her neck and then cheek reciprocating the kiss that felt so intense, yet so soft, and both foreign and familiar at the same time. You have no idea how long she has been wanting to do this for, and she hummed against your lips at the realization that this was finally happening. You could feel her smile against your lips and at some point you even moved forward for more.

Though when you pulled back from each other, as you saw her smile you felt… you felt scared. Scared that whatever happened with your ex could happen again. Scared she was going to hurt you, abandon you, talk bullshit about you and you didn’t want that, you couldn’t have that. If it happened again you would fall back into that depression Jenna found you in when you met again here in Romania, and in that case she would be the one that got you both out and back in it. You wanted her, you really wanted her. That’s what your heart kept telling you but your head wanted otherwise. This time you decided to follow your head, even if you knew that this would probably be the worst decision of your life. “I’m sorry I- I have to go” you said and pulled away from her embrace as you used the back of your sleeve to wipe the single tear that had rolled down your cheek “(Y/N) wait-“ Jenna called but you completely ignored her and ran to your trailer.

You considered yourself lucky, because the next day everyone would be flying back home to spend Christmas with their families and you really, really didn’t want to talk with Jenna, you were too scared. However that day she sent you lots of texts and called you multiple times, but you never replied to any of them. You even closed your trailer windows so she couldn’t come look inside and you had locked your door, but that didn’t prevent Jenna to come try and talk to you, and that’s exactly what she did. “(Y/N) why are you ignoring my calls?” She called softly, she sounded worried, but you were too scared to face her right now. “Look I don’t know what happened after that kiss that made you want to run away but really, I’m sorry and I want to help, please let me help” she begged and for a short moment you felt a soft noise, Jenna had laid her head against the door “I don’t want it to ruin anything. If you want we can forget it ever happened, what do you think?” No, you didn’t want to forget it, you wanted to do it again but you couldn’t. Oh how you wanted to just hold her and kiss her… however you said nothing. “Please…” it sounded more like a cry coming from her and once again you didn’t reply, and soon enough you heard her sigh and then walk away.

That same night, Jenna came again at your door, and you recognized that it was her just from the knocks, three like usual. “I bought you some food, it’ll be out here in a bag if you want it… there are also some plane tickets inside… if you ever want to come spend it with me and my family, I don’t want you to be alone here for Christmas so if you’re coming just text me okay? I lo-“ she stopped mid sentence. Please don’t say it, please don’t say it… “I’ll miss you for these two weeks” you sighed of relief. You did want to hear those words coming from her but on the other hand you knew that if you heard them, you would fall at her knees.

You didn’t have to hear those words.

On December 30 at midnight you took your first flight that would take you to Los Angeles. You had calculated how much it would take you to get there and if the flights were on time you would arrive at her house at 7.30 pm of December 31. You didn’t text her, deciding to make this a surprise… you had given up, you ended up following your heart as always. This time it felt different, Jenna was different. You knew she was the one and you couldn’t lose her.

Your second flight was late and you were freaking out. You needed to get to LA, get a bouquet of roses and get to her house in less than two hours or you wouldn’t make it to her house before midnight stroke, so for the first time in your life you decided to use your “famous person” privilege and get a private Jet, which was faster and comfier and at 11.50 pm you were in front of her door, the beautiful bouquet in your arms. There was music in the house, you knew she wouldn’t hear the bell ring, so you called her on the phone. “(Y/N)? How are you?” She asked, and you avoided her question “I’m here, open the door” Jenna went quiet, confusion all over your her face and her relatives questioned what it was about. “What do you mean?” “The door, dumbass” you giggled “I’m in front of your house and it’s freezing, just let me in” within seconds Jenna hung up the call and rushed to the door to open it.

As soon as she saw you, she gave you a bright smile and a confused look, then she saw the flowers, which you handed to her. “What’s the meaning of… this?” She said, gesturing to the flowers. “I didn’t like how our last talk ended… but it was my fault” you were definitely nervous but for now Jenna decided not to question that. “I wanted to end the year on a good note… and start the new year in an even better one” you said and took a step closer to her, she didn’t know what to say, she was just glad you were here.. and she definitely wasn’t expecting what was going to come next, because you pulled her in from her waist, (roles reversed from the first time you kissed) and a couple seconds before midnight stroke, you pulled her in for another kiss. This time it felt even better than the first one you had shared. In some ways it felt desperate, it even felt relaxed and soft. As one hand of yours stayed on her waist, the other one went to cup her cheek, caressing it with your thumb as fireworks started exploding around you, both literally and figuratively. The new year had just started and people were celebrating it with their loved ones and for the first time, you were doing the same.

You smiled in the kiss and when you both pulled back - still being only inches away from each other - you continued cupping her cheek, looking at her with love and lust in your eyes as you saw the colors of the fireworks reflect on her skin, and she looked at you the same way you looked at her.

“Happy new year, (Y/N)”

“Happy new year Jen”

A/N: WOAH this was definitely a rollercoaster of emotions, this was definitely my longest chapter posted and It’s probably the best chapter I’ve written so far 😭😭

Tags: @idkjustliving2 @tundra1029 @engenelxver @rainbow-love4ever @gimaximoff @smromanoff @wol-fica @lum13 @eviekensington @i984

[landinrris]

In which I keep seeing tweets hyping up Lando and McLaren for this season, so I needed to vent my expectations and bring myself back down to Earth. (1.1k, w/ Carlos popping up at the end) Set during the 2024 championship in which Lando and McLaren come out of the gates swinging.

Lando thought he was prepared for the possibility of getting out of his car as the newly crowned champion. God knows he’s spent enough time talking it through with his team and parents— with Carlos.

As soon as he’s across the line, he’s asking Will about the finishing order, his stomach up in his throat. The sound of Will’s voice, shaken from his usual calm as he tells Lando to hang on while the team checks the finishing positions of his main rivals nearly makes Lando lose his mind. 

The wait is reminiscent of his first pole position a few years ago— how torturously long it felt in the seconds while the few remaining drivers finished their laps. But now they’re in Abu Dhabi three years removed, and Lando needs a points deficit to George of at least three and a deficit of at least one to Charles.

There’s an ocean of distance between him now and September 2021.

When Lando’s radio crackles back to life after about fifteen or so torturous seconds, it’s Andrea whose voice greets him, unsettlingly more manic than Will’s, even though he’s trying to hide it. Then again, anything other than his normal calm makes Lando suspicious.

“Would you like to know the finishing order, Lando?”

“On your own time, I think.” Lando’s voice shakes more than it ever has over the radio, betraying his nonchalant words.

Andrea just chuckles. “P1, Verstappen; P2, Carlos; P3, you; P4, Russell.” The words hang in the air for only a second or two as Lando rounds the corner onto the start-finish straight.

Screams erupt in the background, but all Lando can think about is the basic mental math he’s calculating. “Does that—”

“Lando Norris, it means you’re champion of the world!”

The screams get louder then, becoming deafening behind Andrea as they filter through the open channel. His entire team is screaming, those who ran to climb the fence as he finished making their presence known so close to the pit wall. The goal they’ve been building towards for the entire year— for their entire careers— is theirs.

Lando’s vision blurs on command, his hands coming up to clutch at his visor for a split second before he has to direct the car to the third-place placard. Lando doesn’t know how he manages it once he starts yelling with the rest of the team. He wonders if he causes anyone to yank their headset off and decides he’ll have to apologize later. 

For now, though, this is his moment. This is his.

Lando manages to contain his emotions when Zak gets in on the celebration, but he loses it hearing Will’s voice again. He’s successfully parked the car and already set everything to mode zero, but Will’s voice is in his ear, and the least Lando owes this man is to listen to the rest of his engineer’s words.

“Alright buddy, get out there and celebrate.” 

As soon as Lando’s feet touch the asphalt, his legs buckle out from underneath him, and he collapses by the front left tire. He needs to get up, needs to pull his helmet from his head, and go celebrate in the arms of his team and his family. But here Lando is, his body wracked with sobs while he thanks every possible force in the universe that’s enabled him to get to this point.

The side of his car isn’t as blurry when Lando opens his eyes again and shoves his visor up, his knees not as shaky when he stands, leaning on the body of the car for support. 

Across the way, his team looks like they’re barely holding themselves back from storming the track. Their self-imposed barrier breaks when Lando takes a step in their direction, his car crew rushing him and sweeping him off his feet. He may not be as small as he used to be, but the arms of the guys who have been with him for six years pick him up like he is, and all Lando can do is hold on.

The bone-crushing team hugs Lando has been subject to over the years don’t come close to now— not even on the back of his first podium in Silverstone the year before. But, he supposes, nothing really is quite comparable to actually beating the odds as they have throughout this year. 

Everything from the last few years rushes to the surface— every emotion and catastrophizing thought. Every question he had about resigning or not looking elsewhere at a team that could take him to the top faster. They gave way to the base satisfaction that had come with improvements and with accurate correlations. 

Every thought triggers another swell of emotion, but Lando can’t think about what he looks like in the midst of it.

Later, there will be pictures Lando will probably never want to see again when he takes his helmet off to reveal his already puffy eyes, red from crying, but he doesn’t think of that now. Because now, even with his mind solidly in the present, he can’t stop getting teary-eyed with each new person who comes to congratulate him.

And then Carlos is there, his person, finished with his own team and weigh-in, and it’s a lot. 

Carlos’ eyes look almost as red as Lando’s feel, which is stupid because Carlos shouldn’t be the one crying, right? They’re only about five strides from each other, but Lando takes the distance in two and a half before he launches himself into Carlos’ arms, his legs coming up almost on instinct to wrap around Carlos’ hips.

Carlos seems to expect it thankfully, and they stay upright. Lando’s never felt more protected than he does right now. Strong and warm arms grip and wrap around his back with every ounce of strength Carlos has left after a grueling two hours in the car. They’re out in the middle of everyone with their image likely being broadcast across the world, and yet Lando can’t find it in himself to care about anyone but the way Carlos’ lips press against the side of his face, the barely audible, “You did it. My champion,” above all the noise.

Lando lets himself cry.

Someone breaks them apart eventually so that both of them can give their reactions on the finish to Coulthard, who’s standing a few feet away looking excited. The distance they put between themselves isn’t a lot, one of Carlos’ hands settles on Lando’s shoulders when Lando feels himself getting weak-kneed again while Carlos is talking. He wonders if he looks like he’s going to pass out or if Carlos is just that especially tuned to Lando.

He doesn’t wonder for long though before he’s being pulled to the camera and handed the microphone Carlos had just been holding.

This is the beginning of everything. The beginning of being a champion. The beginning of the rest of his career. Lando knows he’s ready for it.