#i am so excited to get paid i will ignore the red flags.

[famousblueraincoatmp3]

watching an instruction vid for my new job and girl is that royalty free ukelele music in the background

[ragingbookdragon]

ATTEND ALL THE PRIDE!

Batfamily x Batbrother One-Shot

Word Count: 1K Warnings: Explicit Language

Author's Note: For the ask I received! Remember to have fun at all parades this month! Be careful and be safe! Bring friends and family! Even if you don't identify with the LGBTQ+ community you are still allowed to come to Pride! Everyone is welcome at Pride!

**********************************************************************

Just because he was Bruce Wayne's son, a well-trained military sniper, and a world class black ops squad leader, it did not mean he had any sense of time when it came to being on leave. Once that clock started when they hit the tarmac after a mission, everyone lost sense of when they were supposed to meet up again—as much as they loved running with one another, they loved being on leave much more—especially the captain.

That being said, after a major mission of shutting down a world class terrorist organization ring and freeing some hundred plus captives, they all decided a few months of leave was deserved for saving a chunk of the world. And when he got back to Gotham in May, he’d slowly forgotten all about the next month and the pride that went with it.

***

Freshly showered and dressed, he wandered into the kitchen and collapsed in his set next to Bruce’s on the other side of the table, Dick next to him. His coffee had already been poured, hot and steaming like Alfred made best and he raised it to his lips, sipping quietly as his eyes moved around the breakfast room, taking in the sight of his family.

Dick and Damian were discussing something about the arcade rather animatedly—something about Cheese Vikings?, Jason and Steph were in an argument over who was a better Robin—so far Steph was winning, Tim was passed out on the side of the table—unsurprisingly, and Cass and Duke were busy stuffing waffles in their faces—smart cookies those two.

He glanced at his father, noticing that he had the paper, and he took a moment to read over the front page. Pride Month Comes to Gotham! Come Celebrate Today During the Pride Parade! Sponsored by Wayne Enterprises!

Blinking, he set his coffee cup down. “It’s June,” He blurted out, sounding rather shocked, and everyone looked at him.

“Yeah?” Dick said. “It’s been that way for about a week now, (Y/N).”

He looked at him. “No, Dick, it’s fucking Pride Month.” (Y/N) ignored Alfred’s admonishment of his expletive and jumped to his feet, face lighting up like the morning sun. “IT’S FUCKING PRIDE MONTH AND THE PARADE IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IN THE CITY STREETS!”

(Y/N) spun on his heel and sprinted out of the kitchen like a madman, his heavy footfalls sounding down the hallway and up the stairs before he came back down with a bunch of T-shirts in his hands. “I HAVE SHIRTS FOR ALL OF YOU!”

Tossing them one by one, he shouted, “BI FOR DICK! BI FOR JASON! PAN FOR STEPH! LESBIAN FOR CASS! PAN FOR TIMMY! AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE REST OF YOU ARE BUT I HAVE RAINBOW SHIRTS THAT SAY ‘LGBTQIA+ ALLIES’!”

Everyone looked at their shirts, all designed with the color of their respective flag, then at (Y/N) who was busy slipping his own pink, yellow, and blue shirt on. He grinned at them like a maniac. “Well don’t just sit there! Put the shirts on and let’s go! Pride Parade is happening, and we can’t miss it!”

Galvanized by his words, everyone started putting their shirts on, even Alfred and Bruce before they followed him to the SUV where he climbed in the driver’s seat.

“Hey, (Y/N)?” Jason asked.

“Yeah boy!”

“I applaud that you know my first orientation, but I hate to break it to you—I’m a demisexual bi.”

(Y/N) leaned over into the passenger’s side floorboard and shoved Dick’s legs out of the way before he yanked up a bag and unzipped it. He pulled out a rather large plastic package and threw it back at him, hitting him in the face. “EXPENSIVE FACE PAINT THAT’S NOT WORTH THE PRICE I PAID BUT WHATEVER! PAINT ALL THE FLAGS ON YOUR FACES!”

“Brother, you must really love Pride Parades.” Damian remarked and he nodded.

“LOVE ALL THE PARADES! LOVE PEOPLE! LOVE HAVING FUN! LOVE THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY!” he opened the garage and hit the gas, speeding down the driveway. “HAVE ALL THE FUN AT PRIDE! MEET ALL THE PEOPLE! MAKE ALL THE FRIENDS! CELEBRATE OUR UNIQUENESS!”

He tossed back more items, sunglasses, necklaces, hats, everything. “IDENTIFY YOURSELF! OR DON’T! IT’S YOUR RIGHT TO BE AS COMFORTABLE AS YOU WANT! BUT HAVE FUN!” he stopped at a red light and turned. “DO YOU REMEMBER MY RULES?”

Dick went first as the oldest, then Jason, Steph, Cass, Duke, Tim, and Damian. “Don’t add to the population.

“Don’t subtract from the population.”

“Don’t go to jail.”

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do.”

“And if you do—”

“Don’t get caught!” Damian finalized with a grin as Dick wrote the words ‘Not sure yet’ on his face. “I am excited to experience this!”

(Y/N) looked scandalized. “YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO A PRIDE PARADE? OH, THE INHUMANITY!” he looked at his father and went jaw-slacked. “Dad, are you putting the bi-flag on your face?”

Bruce looked up from his compact mirror and nodded. “Mhm.”

“I didn’t know you were bi?”

“I didn’t know you were pansexual, (Y/N).” he retorted with a smile and (Y/N) grinned.

“What did you think I was?”

“In the closet.”

“HA!”

“Wait, so (Y/N),” Steph started. “When did you know you were pan?”

He blinked and pulled into a parking garage. “When I met Ghost-Maker in a LGBTQ nightclub and when home with him for the weekend.”

No one said a word, merely looking at Bruce who looked absolutely disgusted. “You slept with K?”

“Many times.” (Y/N) snorted, putting the car in park. “He’s extremely proficient at it. It’s a shame he doesn’t experience romantic attraction because I’d marry him in a heartbeat.”

Everyone gagged, but Jason nudged Tim in the ribs and snickered, “That’s pretty gay.”

And then the entire SUV was filled with cackles as they climbed out and marched into the rainbow filled streets, mile-wide grins on their faces and pride in their hearts.

[gamerwoo]

[Tales from the Pack] Joshua: Second Chance (Part Five)

Characters: Joshua x female reader

Genre/warnings: werewolf au, fantasy, fluff, fluffy angst, Josh is still a grumpy old man

Word count: 2,888

Summary: After his mate died, Joshua always blamed himself and never wanted to imprint again. However, fate has other ideas when he meets you: a young, energetic werecoyote that’s quite the opposite of him. He insists he doesn’t want a new mate – nobody’s even sure if he’s ready for a new one – but he can’t ignore his instincts.

Previous | Next | Second Chance Masterlist

“So how exactly are we supposed to...prepare?” Soomin wondered.

“Prepare what? Prepare how?” Soonyoung asked.

“Well, it’s not like Josh is gonna take this re-imprinting thing well,” Wonwoo shrugged. Ever since the news about Joshua imprinting during his doctor visit, that’s all the pack could really focus on or talk about. But nobody was completely sure when he’d be released, so they wanted to plan things ahead of time. “None of us are really sure what to do when he gets home. He’s probably not going to want to talk about her so do we just not say anything? Do we brace ourselves for him to go back to being angry and reckless?”

“Reckless?” Yeji snorted. “You can’t tell me that old fart was ever reckless.”

“There are tons of stories we could tell you about him doing dumb things, and there’s even more from before he met us,” Seokmin nodded, though he wasn’t about to get into details.

“Even Lilly would tell us stories of how Josh was a menace growing up,” Chan chuckled. “We’ve all seen him act aggressively. He was never really great at managing his anger, even when it--”

“Shut up,” Seungkwan hissed, knowing exactly what Chan was going to say and not wanting to start that conversation up again.

“Is that why the tip of his wolf’s ear is missing?” Suvi wondered.

“Not necessarily,” Soonyoung said with almost a sour tone.

“Okay, but despite all of that,” Minghao began, “do we really need to ‘prepare’ for Shua to come home? If he doesn’t want to talk about her, then he won’t. So then we won’t. Problem solved.”

Except nobody ever thought that Joshua might let the girl he imprinted on tag along back home. He walked in with Seungcheol and Kyung helping him into the house, the pack smiling and telling him how happy they were that he was going to be back to normal. However, Joshua ignored them all, not even sparing them side glances. He just stared forward and grumbled for the two alphas to bring him to his bedroom.

Then Jihoon walked in. He seemed stressed when he lifted his head to address the pack.

“Don’t mention her to Joshua, don’t even talk to either of them if they’re ever in the same room together,” he warned.

“Who?” Junhui asked.

And then Hansol walked in with you as your blue eyes wandered curiously, subtly sniffing the air of this new place. You smelled...a lot of things. But as Hansol had quietly told you on the way there, there were fourteen werewolves living there, along with seven mates. You knew you were going to be bombarded with a lot, but still, you could somehow easily pick up Joshua’s distinct scent above all else.

“Oh…” Jun murmured.

Your eyes then began scanning each face in front of you. You assumed these people must’ve been the pack -- who else would they be?

“This is _____,” Hansol introduced you as if Jihoon didn’t just come in and basically tell the pack to shun you in Joshua’s presence. “She’s a werecoyote.”

“That explains the weird smell...” Jeonghan muttered.

With Joshua upstairs -- Seungcheol came back down with Kyung and reported that he didn’t think Joshua would be leaving his bedroom at least for the rest of the day -- the pack brought you into the living room just to get to know you a little better. Truth be told, they were kind of excited to see what Joshua’s new mate would be like. Would you be like Lilly? Would you be like how Joshua is now?

However, they found you to be...odd. Nice, absolutely, but odd. Living in a cave instead of a home was the biggest red flag, but there were plenty of others. It was like you were raised like an actual coyote rather than a person.

“Didn’t you have a family, _____?” Chan decided to ask. “Parents? Siblings? Anyone to take care of you?”

“Well yeah, but--”

“But, like everyone else, they kicked her out or something,” Joshua’s voice surprised everyone as he appeared in the doorway to the living room. He raised his eyebrows at you. “Am I right? Yeah, so you’re not special.”

“Are we supposed to not talk to her now?” Mingyu barely whispered.

“I can hear you all upstairs, y’know,” the older wolf said as he strolled into the living room and leaned against the arm of one of the couches.

“Shouldn’t you be resting?” Danbi asked.

Joshua just shrugged, not saying anything in response.

“Okay…” Yeji looked away from Joshua and back at you, wanting to get rid of the odd tension that the grumpy werewolf had created. “So _____, how old are you?”

But when you gave them your age, Yeji chuckled at you, “No, I mean how old are you really? Like, how many years have you been alive?”

“Um...th-that many?” you shrugged.

“Figures,” Joshua muttered, “I get stuck with a baby were-creature. It’s like fate fucking hates me more than I thought…”

“Really?” Kyung chuckled, ignoring Josh’s comment. “You’re younger than even me.”

“By a year,” Hansol chuckled, nudging his mate’s knee. “You’re still a baby compared to everyone else.”

“What does that mean?” you wondered.

“Age freezing,” Mingyu replied with a shrug, as if that would be obvious to anyone.

You waited for someone to elaborate, but nobody did, “...What’s that mean?”

Josh let out a dry chuckle, sending a glare your way, “You really don’t know anything, do you?”

Kyung frowned and said something you didn’t understand as she turned her sour expression toward your mate, but he didn’t even seem fazed by whatever she said.

“When you reach a certain age -- usually somewhere between like, eighteen and your mid-twenties -- you stop aging until you find your mate,” Chan explained. “For example, I’m actually twenty-six years older than the age my body stopped aging.”

“But I’m the oldest,” Yeji grinned proudly, “technical and actual age.”

“Bragging about being an old lady isn’t--”

“Watch it,” Jihoon growled, glaring at Joshua, who didn’t get to finish his snide comment.

“Look, Shua. We get you’re in a bad mood -- really, we do,” Seokmin began, seeming almost afraid to stand up to the older wolf, “but...you’re kind of being really mean just in general.”

He let out a deep sigh, “Fine, whatever, I’ll shut up. You can go back to talking about useless stuff.”

“Anyway,” Danbi quickly spoke up, “as we were saying. Even Wonwoo and I seem only a year apart, but he’s actually older than me by...what was it, like, twenty years?”

Her brother nodded, his arm draped around his mate, “Yeah, mom had me at eighteen and then didn’t have you until she was thirty-eight.”

“Wait, what?” Mingyu suddenly spoke up, looking between the siblings with shock written all over his features. “I-- I didn’t even know that.”

Danbi just giggled and shrugged, “Guess I forgot to mention it.”

“So what happened with your family?” you asked the pair.

Wonwoo and Danbi looked back at you again. You hadn’t said a whole lot since being brought to the living room, so whenever you spoke, the pack paid a lot of attention.

“We moved around a lot so nobody would realize I didn’t age,” Wonwoo explained. “They wanted to just kick me out, but they also were afraid that their son suddenly leaving the house would be a big red flag that I was a werewolf. And of course, they couldn’t have people thinking that. They kept me around for a while but they didn’t treat me that great.”

“But they kicked him out when I was fourteen,” Danbi continued. “I was dabbling in potion-making, and they thought it was somehow Wonwoo’s influence. They said he was bad for their precious daughter, so they kicked him out. We’d manage to visit each other, either in town or he’d sneak into my room at night just to talk. When I was finally of age, I went to live with him.”

That wasn’t anything like what happened with you, but you didn’t want to mention it and make it about yourself. You kind of liked absorbing this new information about the pack, anyway. Hearing about them was entertaining in a way.

“Do parents...normally abandon their kids when they find out they’re a werewolf?” you wondered.

“No,” Hansol chuckled. “My parents are super loving and I visit when I can. We still go visit Kyung’s, too.”

“Even Rin’s were super nice before she came to live with us,” Kyung added with a nod.

Your eyebrows furrowed, “Who’s Rin?”

“Kyung came from another pack before joining ours,” Seungcheol explained. “Rin’s one of her old pack mates.”

“Soonyoung refers to her as Cooper, though,” Kyung explained, rolling her eyes. “He thinks her surname is fun to say.”

“Because it is!” Soonyoung insisted before quietly giggling to himself and softly saying, “Cooper...”

“Anyway, you’ll probably meet her...at some point...” Kyung trailed off, so you decided to not ask any questions about her old pack despite being intrigued.

Chan suddenly leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees as he spoke up, “_____, I have a question for you.”

“What is it?”

“Can you shift for us?”

“Ooh, yeah!” Seokmin grinned, excitement in his eyes. “We’ve never seen a werecoyote before!”

Joshua wouldn’t say it, but you could tell even he was intrigued by the way his gaze suddenly locked on you and he just stared, waiting for your response. He didn’t even have anything snarky to say.

"Um,” you shrugged, “yeah, sure.”

-

It was a little awkward just standing in front of a large group of people who just stared at you in wonder, but it was also a little flattering at the same time. Nobody in the pack had ever encountered a werecoyote -- well, other than Yeji -- so they were surprised to see you were really just a smaller, scragglier version of a werewolf.

“I wanna see how fast she really is,” Seungkwan decided before shifting into his wolf form.

So then the pack watched the two of you race from one end of the large yard to the other. You heard someone whistle lowly when you won, followed by the pack’s murmurs of how cool it was that you were faster than them.

And then everyone else wanted a turn to race you -- except Chan because of course he was still the fastest -- so the whole thing just turned into you play-wrestling with a bunch of werewolves. It made you happy, though. You kind of felt like you belonged in their pack.

However, there was still one member of the pack who hadn’t shifted: Joshua. He stood on the porch with the mates, watching as you and the rest of the pack ran around and played with each other. He kept a frown plastered on his face despite the fact he secretly found it endearing that the pack was already getting along with you and vice versa.

But there was still that part of him that didn’t want you in his pack to begin with.

“What’s with the sour look, lover boy?” Yeji quizzed.

Josh merely side-eyed her before going back to watching the pack, “Don’t ask stupid questions if you don’t want a stupid answer.”

“Give it a rest, grumpy,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. “We all know you don’t actually hate her as much as you want everyone to think.”

“I don’t know...” Suvi began quietly like she was afraid to give her opinion. “I think he just invited her back here because he feels bad for her. Look at how he’s been acting.”

Joshua shifted his weight to one leg, pointing his thumb beside him at the younger girl, “She’s right.”

“No she isn’t,” Danbi chuckled.

“Yeah? And what do you know?”

“For starters, you haven’t stopped staring at her since we got outside,” Eunjin interjected in a plain tone.

“And you can frown all you want but your eyes show everything, Shua” Danbi insisted with a giggle.

Joshua just let out a sigh and rolled his eyes, “Shut up, all of you.”

-

With the sun having set, the pack called it a day and shifted before going back into the house, pulling on their clothes as they talked and laughed with each other. You were toward the back of the group, walking silently as the rest of the pack made playful conversation with each other. You weren’t really sure what was happening next, but you also didn’t want to ask and possibly set Joshua off -- or seem rude asking if you were supposed to leave now or not.

“So, um,” Seungcheol stopped and turned around, pulling his shirt on over his head before he looked at you, “since you’re here and it’s already dark outsi--”

“Don’t even say it,” Joshua grumbled.

Jihoon sighed, rolling his eyes, “Come on, are you really gonna make the poor girl walk home in the dark?”

“She can take care of herself,” he stated, eyeing you up and down -- but there was more of a disgusted look on his face than anything else.

You didn’t really care, though.

“I get she’s a werecoyote, but come on,” Kyung spoke up. “She almost died to begin with because she was running around at night.”

“Wait, really?” Junhui asked.

After the rest of the pack started getting on his case -- especially after learning that new information -- Josh let out a loud groan, letting his head drop back, “Fine!”

His tone actually made you flinch -- not because you were afraid, but the loudness startled you. 

He lifted his head, his golden eyes landing on you, and you raised your eyebrows. He narrowed his eyes, “You can stay on the couch for the night.”

You visibly perked up, “Couch? Like, the one in the living room?”

“Um...yeah?"

“Really?!” you grinned. You were practically bouncing with excitement. “Thank you so much!”

“It’s...just a couch...” Chan said slowly, not understanding what you were so happy about. 

Seungcheol nodded his head toward the living room, “C’mon. We’ll find some extra blankets for you.”

“I think you’re forgetting her usual sleeping space,” Jia pointed out quietly as the pack began to walk down the hallway again to start going to their separate rooms.

That was when it clicked. Of course you were excited to sleep on a couch, you lived in a cave. Your typical bed was probably not the most comfortable thing. They imagined it was probably either the cave floor, or maybe a bed of leaves and grass. A couch would definitely be a huge upgrade for you.

As you beamed watching Seokmin and Seungcheol work to set up a makeshift bed for you on the couch, Joshua silently and slowly approached you.

“Have you...ever slept on a bed before?” he wondered.

You looked at him and shrugged with a small nod, “Not for a really long time, though. It’s been...”

You trailed off as you tried to do some math in your head, but you genuinely couldn’t remember when it was you last slept in a bed. You couldn’t even remember what age you were when you left home. Things started blurring together.

“I don’t know how many years, but it’s been a long time,” you shrugged.

Years? God, why did you have to tug at Joshua’s heart when he was trying to be cold and push you away? You just had to have a tragic life story, didn’t you?

After a moment of listening to Seungcheol and Seokmin bicker about which way the sheet was supposed to go, Joshua let out a deep sigh, “Y’know what? Just go take my bed. I’ll figure this out since you two are too dense to figure out a fucking bedsheet.”

To say you were shocked was an understatement. You looked at Josh with wide eyes and raised eyebrows, blinking as you waited for him to take the statement back. Even the pack froze and waited to see if he was just playing some dumb prank on you to get your hopes up.

Joshua turned his head to look at you when you didn’t move, “I’m sorry, was I speaking a different language?”

You knew it was sarcasm, but you still replied with a simple, “No.”

“Then why are you just standing there?”

Kyung groaned, saying something in another language under her breath before she stepped forward, “Come on, I’ll show you were to go since Shua’s too busy being an asshole.”

You followed the foreign wolf out of the room and up the stairs to where Joshua’s room was, and then she tracked down some pajamas to fit you and helped you get settled.

Meanwhile, downstairs, the pack was still looking at Joshua. However, they were all smirking or wearing some sort of shit-eating grin.

“Nice excuse,” Yeji snorted.

Josh grimaced, “What?”

“We all know it wasn’t because dumb and dumber were taking too long,” Jeonghan smirked, shaking his head as Seungcheol and Seokmin called out in offence. “You felt bad and you care about her.”

“You liiiiiiike her,” Danbi sang.

Joshua rolled his eyes before he walked up to Seokmin and snatched the sheet from him, making the younger wolf flinch.

“Just get the hell out of my room,” he growled.

[spade-riddles]

"Adjusting Expectations" Post

This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.

Anonymous said:

Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.

casuallycruel131313 said:

I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.

@theprologues said:

Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?

rockcrow20 said:

Have to say I also agree with most of this.

I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really

Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)

Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.

I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.

I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.

Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.

original-cypher said:

@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".

rockcrow20 said:

@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!

rainbowdaisy13 said:

This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁

@kellykaylor said:

agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!

roameroo said:

Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.

always-the-last-word said:

Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.

@karlie-what-you-want said:

always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.

always-the-last-word said:

Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.

chosetherose said:

I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.

But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.

I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?

I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.

Anonymous said:

Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.

Anonymous said:

Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠

Anonymous said:

I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.

Anonymous said:

A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕

Anonymous said:

What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.

Anonymous said:

1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.

2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.

3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.

4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.

[taeyohonic]

Just a Taste – Chapter One

Summary: Being asked to take a blood test just to work at a merchandise booth should have been the first read flag for you. But you just gave them a sample of your blood in exchange for a very much needed paycheck and a summer job during BTS’ world tour. After the youngest member of the popular kpop band finds himself in a difficult situation, you come to realize that this wasn’t the last time you shed blood for your idols. or: You becomes the new donor for seven bloodthirsty idols, who seem to be way too interested in their new food source.

Pairing: OT7xfem!Reader

Genre: Fantasy, Smut, (Fluff)

Warnings: blood, they aren’t very nice to you...

Words: 2.7k

Chapters: Prologue, Chap. I, Chap. II, Chap. III, Chap. IV, Chap. V, Chap. VI, Chap. VII

“What do you mean ‘all the bags are gone’?”

Your supervisor does not look amused. The girl with an abnormal amount of glitter on her face does not look amused. Hell, even you don’t look amused. The stadium hasn’t even begun to let the fans in and your merch booth ran out of the official “speak yourself”-bag ten minutes ago.

This job is in the top three most gruesome things you had to do for money. But money was tight, and you didn’t want to survive another summer on ramen and cheap wine. The job ad was harmless at first glance. Just another sales job. But they promised good pay and international traveling, which was enough to let your eyes linger. There was no company mentioned, just a post box.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise when BigHit responded to your application a week later. With Bangtan’s rising popularity and the massive size of their tour, extra staff had to be hired. Still, the ARMY in you couldn’t contain her excitement. This was a big deal for you. Touring with one of your favorite kpop bands, traveling to Japan and getting first dips on all the merchandise? This was a no brainer. Hell, you would have even paid them to tag along. So you dressed to impress when you attended the interview, keeping your giddiness locked behind a professional smile.

“You want what?”, you ask – disbelieve coloring your voice.

“A blood test”, the interviewer repeats nonchalantly without looking up from her questionnaire.

Was this normal procedure? You had only ever worked in your aunt’s bookstore during senior year of high school and at a fast food place all through undergrad. Neither asked for your freaking bloodline.

“What? Do you discriminate certain blood types?”, you say in mock humor. A laugh disguised as a cough rings through the room, as the cute guy in the back of the room tries to hide his amusement. His eyes are locked on your features.

“We just want to make sure all our employees are healthy. You’ll be travelling to a foreign country, working long hours.”, the woman in front of you replies, ignoring your bad attempt at a joke. She continues: “You don’t have to – of course.”

“But then I won’t be asked back for a second interview, am I right?”

The woman looks you in the eyes for the first time since entering the room. She doesn’t look as evil as she sounds. “No”

So, you guess you’ll leave with a bit less body fluid than you anticipated.

There wasn’t a second interview. The test results came with a pre-signed contract.

***

“What the fuck is up with this boy today?”, Joo-Won swears as his eyes are glued to the screen in front of you. Your shift is officially over. Most of the merchandise is packed up, all the sold-out item IDs are sent to the head quarter and you already got a notification that the next delivery will be arriving first thing tomorrow morning. Now you’re sitting together with some crew members, a half-finished soju bottle in your hand and an empty carton of take-out on your lap. The guy at your job interview turned out to be quite fun.

Joo-Won introduced himself during the briefing on your first day in Japan. He is responsible for the ARMY Bomb stands, which seems to be a very big deal around here. This is his third tour with Bangtan and he seems to know nearly every henchmen in this operation. So it came to no surprise when a stage assistant invited you both to watch the concert from one of the twelve monitors backstage. Of course, you didn’t look too out of place with your name badge and the Love Yourself-hoodie you may or may not have purchased with your employee discount.

The stage assistant, whose name you can’t remember, is fuzzing with screen number five as you take another sip of your afterwork drink. You stare not really focusing on anything. Just blank nothingness.

“You did see this as well, right _______?”, Joo-Won asks breathlessly.

You can only nod. The Fake Love performance just ended. And even though all seven idols were on fire, the youngest was just out of control.

“What did we just see?”, the boy continues.

“Rudeness”, you answer and empty the bottle with a hefty swing. You knew Jungkook would lift his shirt. You were prepared as you had seen their comeback stage more times than you’d be comfortable to admit. This was not news to you. But the aggression in his stare, how dark he growled his verses, the hard edges on his mouth, not even hinting a friendly smile, was making you uncomfortable.

Before your new friend can respond his headset beeped. Joo-Won answer, his eyes still on the screen.

“Yeah?” After a beat his eyes flash to you. You squirm uncomfortably in your seat.

“_________ is with me”, he says and you need a second to register your role in the conversation.

Joo-Won’s stare lingers on your face – a silent question in his eyes.

“Sure, sir. I’ll bring her to you right away.” Then he ends the call sifting, so your knees are brushing against one another.

“Care to explain, why Bangtan’s prime management wants to speak with you, _______?”, your friend asks, no judgement in his voice. What?

***

“So, I have to sign another NDA?”, you ask the manager in front of you, trying to swallow your nervousness. This is the Sejin, Bangtan’s right hand advisor. Every fan knows him from countless Bangtan Bombs and can easily recognize the fathering care in his work.

“This one… is more specific”, he explains and moves the stack of papers to you. You try to calm your excited fingers as you grab at the legal document, flipping through it.

“And it’s time sensitive”, Sejin adds and searches your eyes for attention. You give it to him.

“Time sensitive?” The papers abandoned on the table. “Is something wrong with the boys?”

There will come a time and place when you reflect on the choice of calling these men “the boys” as if they were your closest friends. But it’s not today. Today you just see a glint in his eyes.

“Yes, it’s Jungkookie”, Sejin starts and your memories flash to their concert an hour prior. How Joo-Won and you both discussed how beastly the youngest looked – how aggressive.

“Wh-what?”, you answer in question. The manager’s hands move on top of yours.

“He is ill and … you might be able to help him. We can’t transport him. And we are not sure he’ll survive an ambulance ride.”

Your brain blanks as you stand up in a swift move. This is simple: One of your most cherished idols is ill and his trustworthy manager tells you that you’ll be able to help. This is a no brainer.

“Take me to him”, you order, not even caring that Sejin’s words are not making any sense. How can a twenty-four-year-old college dropout help the golden maknae? What even is his illness?

Sejin’s smile should have been another red flag. “Slow down, _________”, he sooths and moves around the table so he is standing in front of you. “This is important. You have to sign the documents. You’ll have to transfuse blood to him.” He is handling you a pen. “There are health risks. This isn’t … the most optimal environment for a blood donation.”

Jungkook needs your blood – memories of your job interview come back.

You sign the contract, not even reading all the small-printed clauses on the pages. Before the ink is even dry, Sejin is moving you through a long corridor. His hand rests on your neck – squeezing reassuringly. A glimmer travels across your body and you try to ground yourself. Of course you are nervous. This is reasonable. You’ll donate blood to one of your favorite idols. Maybe you’ll see him, when he gets better. Hell, maybe he’ll even thank you in person! Meeting Bangtan is the closest form to aspiration you have at the moment.

“When is the nurse coming?”, you question the logistics as you move towards the farthest door labeled “BTS”.

“Which nurse?” You look at Sejin in surprise – if not a nurse, who’ll take your blood?

“Then a doctor?”, you ask and Sejin shakes his head, a humorless chuckle escaping him while you both come to a halt in front of the door.

“There is… no time I’m afraid”, he answers – with remorse in his voice. There is a sinking feeling in your stomach, some of the fog lifted. How the hell should you give Jungkook your blood if there is not even a transfusion station here?

Sejin knocks at the door, ignoring your thumbing heartbeat and opens the door, softly pushing you into the room. “I’ll explain everything; I promise.”

***

The starving vampire smells your sweet blood as soon as the door opens – Sejin a mere decoration in his vision. Jungkook’s whole body turns towards you while your eyes nervously shift across the room. Time slows down as the maknae swiftly moves straight to you. His muscles ache and he cannot even recognize his swallow breathing. His stare is fixed on the nap of your neck – deliciously soft, milky. Not even the slightest imperfection in this human before him.

You do not even sense Namjoon’s and Seokjin’s presence as your eyes take in the predator advancing towards you. The older ones seem frozen as their youngest stops just a breath away from you. You look mouthwatering – clad in one of their merchandise hoodies, hair pinned in a mess at the top of your head, some bold eye make-up, but otherwise barefaced. You look… just right.

Before Jungkook’s grin spreads across his face, Jin takes action – trying to move between the sarved vampire and this … girl. What the hell was Sejin thinking just throwing her in here? Did he want this human dead so badly?

But the oldest is too late – Jungkook growls aggressively as he snatches you against his firm chest. All the air leaves your lungs – your breasts pressed painfully against solid muscle.

“Ahh”, you groan. As soon as the noise leaves your mouth, his lips descend against the white of your neck. The maknae hisses in pleasure; and then he is biting – hard.

Your scream misses the volume and you feel tears on your cheeks as you gaze into Seokjin’s overwhelmed eyes – hands outstretched.

Blood flows freely into Jungkook’s mouth and you hear a sickening slurping sound. The pain is blazing against your skin, every fiber of your body vehemently trying to get away from the maknae. But your fingers don’t push him away. No, the curl around his biceps – acting against every rational though inside your brain. You cling to the man sucking your blood as if he’s merely leaving a love bite.

The pain in your body slowly ebbs and you feel a bright bliss surrounding you. You’re not even sure if you are still standing at the door. There is no room – just lips against your neck and whimpers in your throat… and Namjoon’s voice far, far away.

“Jungkook stop now.”

“This is an order.”

“Jin, help me.”

“Let’s lay her down.”

“Is there a pulse?”

***

“How do you take your coffee?”, Yoongi asks while starring at you with such indifference in his eyes you’re not sure your answer even matters.

“Uhm- I” His sigh interrupts you as he makes his way from the couch across form you to the kitchenette. The whole room is dimmed in a soft light, the furniture a clean white. You feel your head spin as you try to recall what happened. Weren’t you backstage? Didn’t Jun-

“Jungkook”, your voice more of an accusation than a whisper. Yoongi’s back stiffens, but he continues to brew hot water over a ceramic filter and soon a soothing smell of coffee drifts towards you on the white leather.

“Jungkook sucked m-y – he su”

“-cked your blood. Damn girl, how hard did you hit your head when you fainted?”, your favorite rapper asks – his body finally turned towards you.

Slow, leisure steps are taken and then he sits in front of you, taking you all in. You must look like a mess; grease and sweat from your shift in the booth, plus the incident with the youngest vocalist in the band. All the blood. Your stomach turns around uncomfortably.

Yoongi is looking into your eyes and for a split second you see something other than complete boredom behind his stare, but as soon as you try to pinpoint the emotion, it vanishes.

“That’s what vampire do”, he continues and you heart reacts before the triggering word even registers in your brain. Vampire. No way.

“Go-ood one, Yoongi-ssi. This… this isn’t – some romance novel for teenagers”, you scoff, disbelieve in your voice while your heart beats hard against your chest. Without missing a beat, the idol is in your face – literally just millimeters away. The air is stuck in your lungs as you try to calm yourself.

“You know what I hate, dumb human?”

His fingers draw lines across your face – just a feathering touch, barely more than an illusion. You can only shake your head; afraid your voice will give out if you try to answer verbally.

His face moves down to your neck as his hands frame your face – no longer brushing but locking your head into place. Then his mouth dives into your neck, just resting against your pulse. You can feel the sinister smile against your skin as you shiver.

“Talking to dumb people”, his lips vibrate and you feel goosebumps traveling across your body.

“You have all the proof, but your silly little brain still doesn’t – connect the pieces”, Yoongi trails small kisses across your collarbone; a stark contrast to his insulting words.

“Do you really think our little maknae just has a blood kink?”

He moves to the other side of your neck, while titling your head forcefully to the left. You can’t move your body – muscles frozen into place. You’re just passively… enduring what your favorite idol does to you. Now his teeth are grazing your right earlobe, as his voice drops another octave into a threatening growl.

“That we just hire a college dropout because of her work ethics?”

His words hurt, but you’re more concerned with the information behind them. They know about you, must have read your file. Shame colors your cheeks and Yoongi’s nose inhales deeply against the red of your skin.

“You smell fucking delicious”, he moans and places an open mouth kiss against your rosé cheek. You can feel his saliva on your skin and a whimper of your own escapes your throat.

“You like that, dumb human? Knowing I’d love… nothing more than to bite in your flesh? Drain you dry?”, he slurs. You both know that this is nothing more than a rhetorical question – your heart, your breathing and the wetness between your tights enough evidence.

But before he can act on his words, a searing pain flashes through your brain.

“Argh”, you groan pressing your head against his cold hands with virgo. The dead skin of his fingertips sooths the throbbing in your brain temporarily. But he knows that your time is nearing its end.

“Human, listen to me”, he whispers, his previously threatening tone making place for urgent whisper.

“When you wake up” What? His hands still a vise to keep you grounded, while the pain in your head expands to your whole body. “Damn human, focus!”

He searches your eyes for recognition, but your stare moves around the room – now noticing how alien the light looks, how… clean the colors are. Is this? Are you still sleeping? How?

“When you wake up”, Yoongi’s voice nothing more than a vibrating hum in your ears, “Say no to Namjoon.”

Now he is shaking you. “Say no”

***

“Good morning, sleepyhead”, Namjoon says after you open your eyes – the morning sun blinding you momentarily.

“I made you coffee”, he adds as he pushes a steaming mug in your hands. The familiar smell takes you back to your dream, to Yoongi, his words, his plea – and you gape at the leader in front of you.

“I thought we could talk?”

_______________________

A/N: What do you guys think? I am so thankful for the feedback you guys sent me. It means a lot! I hope you like this chapter as much as i do! I’d love to hear from you again! love, dana

taglist: @m0chilattae @gali-005 @fangirls94 @dinopowa @toddsgirl27 @littlemanismoon @dkck99 @slutkoo @subtlepjiminie @coffeebeanismylife @iloverubberduckiez-blog @geminidrawsstuff @olivialovemason88

[theodora3022]

Goddess(Yandere Mirio)

Posting again because weird internet connection last night ate it...

Pairing: (yandere?) Pro hero! Mirio x Villain? F!reader

Summary: You were once a powerful young hero with a wind quirk. After refusing Endeavor’s proposal, you were blacklisted from the hero community. Having no choice, you begun to work as an assassin. Slitting throats without hesitation as long as it is lucrative. That is when you run into Mirio, your former classmate again. You two were not close friends, although mirio is always friendly. He was ordered to take you down, so you expected a fierce fight. What you did not anticipate is how he invited you to come with him.

Notes: Yeah this is a Mirio take on the “Fairy” concept. I recently recieved a request for this, and I just want to say I am so happy you guys love this stupid little concept. Mirio still have his quirk in this fic, and Sir Night Eye is still alive. Reblogs are comments are greatly appreciated!!

You can also see this contains an pathetic attempt to write Endeavor, but I’m not cut out for that LMAO

Warnings: slight nsfw for hcs, abuse of power(not Mirio), stalking, non-con touching, suicide attempt, drugging

They say the loveliest angels make the cruelest demons, and my darling

You were so beautiful

Before they dragged you into hell.

“You’re going to regret this decision.” That was what Endeavor said when you hand him the resignation with a straight face. However, You do not feel any regret whatsoever. You stayed silent as you began to walk out of that damned office, that courrpted agency. Paying no mind the flame man’s burning gaze on your back.

When you first started at Endeavor’s agency, you were excited. As a fresh UA Graduate, it is unusual for a top hero like Endeavor himself to offer you a position as a sidekick. It almost feels too good to be true. Well, turns out it is.

Used to loose clothing, you were shocked when your boss requested you to change your hero costume to a tight bodysuit. Being the good employee you were, you obeyed without questions. Then there are those little things, how Endeavor seems to favor you over his other subordinates, how he finds excuses to keep you near him at all times, most alarmingly, how he looks at your breasts and hips when he thought you did not notice.

You had doubts, but your boss is the No.1 hero! How can he possibly have sexual desires for a little girl like you? So you choose to ignore those red flags and carried on. Until he cornered you against the office door one day, when you came to report a minor robber you took care of earlier.

That is when you realize how you naïve you were. “Fire and winds, they go well together don’t they? I’m sure a child with those two quirks would be a powerful hero.” “Don’t touch me!” You said, almost screaming. He was pressed to a corner of his office by sudden strong currents, banging on the bookshelf that occupies it. Several books fell off, but he did not seem to bother. Even with his strength Endeavor cannot move forward a step. That pissed off look scares you, but you did allow yourself to flinch despite your trembling hands.

“You have no idea how many woman would die for an oppertunity like this.” 

“Then go find them, Sir. Sorry but I will never accept this offer.”

And that is how you ended up as a sellsword, instead of a hero. You work to get paid.

Your friends use to muse about how your impeccable speed would be perfect for an assassin, and that is what you are now. Slithering in the shadows, taking life for gold. Heroes and villains alike commissioned you due to your stealthy quirk and your incredible speed.You would not exactly count yourself as a villain, although the LoV had made offers to you in the past. You walk in that grey area of society, neither good nor bad. After Endeavor blacklisted you, no agency dared to hire you. None of them are willing to evoke his wrath. This is all his plan to make you submit, to accept the position of his compliant trophy wife, his personal baby factory. But you did not give in, even that means rejections and pity from those other heroes.  At last when your saving run out, you took up the LoV’s commission offer. The pay is generous, and you were in need. It is a win-win deal. Ever since you have been taking up jobs from both sides as long as the pay is good.

Your fifteen-year-old UA freshman self would never imagine becoming an assassin, but here you are, shaking hands with Kurogiri as you take the rest of the payment. They wanted you to join them, but you politely declined. You liked Toga and Spinner well enough, but some heroic part of you still cannot stand the idea of becoming a villain.

Regardless of being a mercenary, you still have your principles and morals. Aside from those contracts, you never took a life. You would still give up your seat to pregnant and elderly on the train, still picking up trash in parks. After finishing a job, you would hum little melodies as you pull the hood of your sweater over your blood-stained hair, fly home, maybe getting groceries on the way. You are merciful at what you do, always strike one lethal blow so the target would have minimal pain. Life is not easy, but you are certain this is so much better then being trapped in a manor as a housewife. Occasionally, some sketchy bounty hunter would manage to get to you, although you can always outrun them.

Mirio has a problem. It was...about a mission, concerning you.

What lies on his desk, is a detailed file of you. You in the picture were still a hero back then, smiling at the camera. How can Mirio ever forget that sweet smile?

“If I’m not mistaken, (y/n) is your old schoolmate, correct?” “Yes, Sir.” “She has been lending strength to the League of Villains as a mercenary. That makes her a criminal, even though she takes up jobs from the commission as well. We need to get her back to our side, as her winds are strong, we cannot let the villains have that. Endeavor seem to be particularly enthusiastic about this idea, oddly. I think you should be the one to do it. You can pass through anything, even her winds. Find her, bring her back, use force if possible.”

Mirio always wondered what made you leave hero life, now he got the perfect opportunity to ask you! He has not seen you in forever, this could be a little cute reunion! To be perfectly honest to himself, Mirio had a minor crush on you back w in UA. But as students you both just focused on your studies, and he never confessed.

It took him a while to track down your whearabouts, but for Mirio it was not a hard task, as the Commission has your address of the bar you frequented to take up offers.

It was a cold night, you just finished a job in the rural area of Mustafu, cleansing your daggers in a little stream in the woods when he appeared before you. Damn, how did he approach you without the winds noticing?

To Mirio, how you crouch down by the stream, how your black clothes hugs every curve of your body and especially how you focused on washing the bloodstains off your knives were absolutely stunning. You were like the huntress goddess Artemis from the Greek legends, with how the moonlight gently pooling over your frame. It might sound weird, getting turned on by a girl washing her daggers, but Mirio somehow accepts the fact that his juvenile crush has not gone away. On the contrary, it has become stronger, strong enough to be classified as love or obsession.

Now he knows why Endeavor has been so enthusiastic about the idea of capturing you. Mirio can hardly take his eyes off you himself! You were even more breathtaking in your pitch-black assassin attire compare to your hero costume. As he always loves a good mythology story, seeing you like this awaken something in him. A beautiful goddess, through and through.

You are his goddess! How can you taint your hands with blood while you can be worshipped in the temples? Being a mercenary does not suit you. 

“Togata, what a surprise.” Seeing your old classmate again, you are more concerned then happy. This is a remote location, far away from any population, and he just sneaked up on you without notice. He laughs as he sees how you work up a defensive wind barrier, knowing it has no effect on permeation. Back in your schooldays he has always been a pain to defeat, since Mirio can even pass through air, your usual push away methods fail on him alone. Thankfully, he cannot fly. “Long time no see. Well, what brings you to this part of town?” Putting away your daggers back into your leather pouch, you managed to put up a polite smile even you dreaded his answer. If he is one of those bounty hunters-

“I came to see you, of course! You are so beautiful in these clothes.” Without warning, Mirio stepped close, the wind barrier does nothing to him. If this has been a normal reunion party, his words might just make you flush a bit. But this is a secluded forest.

Before you can think of a counter strategy, two big strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you close towards the grinning blonde. You let out a scream as you try to wiggle out of his grasp, but it was futile. As a ranged combatant with high speed, strength was never your forte, neither is close up combat.

Why are you screaming? Don’t you see how he just want you to be treated well? This life is not for you! You deserve a loving family life, and Mirio is determined to provide that.

“Love, please do not scream. I don’t want to use a gag on you.” When you were distracted by his loving nickname, Mirio quickly slid a pair of quirk cancelling handcuffs on you.

“Let me go! Togata why are you doing this?” You are sure he has taken up the role of a bounty hunter. To your surprise, he released you from his clutches. But you were horrified to find your quirk has been restricted by those damned cuffs.

“Did Endeavor send you? I always know he is a piece of garbage, but you? Who can make my quirk useless?” Slowly backing away, trembling, you knew there is no change you can outrun Lemillion without your winds. Guess that is the end of free life. You rather be dead then be in Endeavor’s home. A quick slit can get the job done.

However, Mirio would never allow you to die. Before you can reach for your blades, he snatched the pouch out of your hands. “Endeavor? No, no. I’m not taking you to him. Don’t hurt yourself, angel.”

A wave of relief wash over you, then you hear Mirio’s words: “I’m taking you home, the commission has ordered me to make sure you don’t make any more deals with villains, and I agree. You deserve a peaceful life.”

Those are the last words you hear before blacking out from a strange, sweet scent. “Sorry to do this, my sweet, but you need to calm down and come home with me.”

As he held your unconscious body in his arms, Mirio promised himself that he will treasure you and give you the treatment you deserve. He finally found his goddess, he is not going to let go, never.

Bonus head canons:

You would wake up in Mirio’s fancy apartment, quirk cancelling collar around your neck, with mirio hugging you from behind in bed. His breath tickles your neck in the most terrifying way.

“Love, you’re finally awake! I was worrying about you overdosing.” That big smile, used to be a sign or reassurance during school days, now is a sight worthy for nightmares.

You would start kicking and screaming, wanting to get away from him.

“Togata let me go!” Your squirms are less then useless without your winds, but you have to try.

“It’s Mirio, lovely. Now how about we get you changed? I got you some pretty lingerie~”

You would shake your head and bite him, which...would result in him getting mad.

“I know it’s not right to use drugs, but you got to understand I did this all for you! That life is too dirty for someone like you, you deserved to be cherished. Lucky for you I am here to tend to all your needs.”

“But I- “ “No buts, sweetness. Now how about you get into one of those pretty outfits and show me how grateful you are? I did spare you that awful mercenary life, after all.”

You were not given a choice. Well, at least he cannot be worse then Endeavor, right? You can only gulp and comply, terrified of the alternative.

“My precious goddess...” He pulls you close, buring his nose in your hair. “I’m going to worship you so well that you forget about everything else.”

[tamakiamajikistentacles]

Apples & Cherries {Katsuki Bakugo}

A/N: Please be sure to reblog, comment, review, and like if you enjoy! Feedback is what keeps me motivated! This is pretty self-indulgent and the fact that my island is named Isla Nova makes even more obvious lol but I hope you’ll enjoy regardless. Also I chose to ignore that the Japanese version of the game apparently adds Island to whatever name you put because I really didn’t want to change what I had in mind!

Never a stranger to late nights in the dorms, she wasn’t surprised to see the lights on in the common room or hear the faint digital noise floating into the kitchen where she stood searching the freezer for a popsicle at almost 1am. Once she had the treat in hand she turned to see who was playing what, but even slouched low on the couch, the shouting gave them away.

“How the FUCK am I supposed to catch this shitty fish if it doesn’t fucking SPAWN?” he complained, grey smoke rising in a thin line from beyond her view.

On the screen she could see a bouncing blonde villager with a fishing rod standing halfway down the pier jutting out into the dark water. In the distant corner of the screen she could see an object floating lazily to the left, and her original idea of walking away was overcome with the need to see the prize within.

“There’s a balloon coming in from the right,” she said, apparently startling him as he sat up quickly and whipped around with a crackling palm. Upon seeing her he lowered his hand with a click of his tongue and turned back to the television, his villager running up the large expanse of beach to shoot down the balloon. In his pocket, a single gold nugget was unwrapped.

“Don’t sneak up on people,” he grumbled, slouching down again.

She nibbled on her popsicle, the cherry flavor pleasant on her tongue. “What were you trying to catch just before I came in?”

“Why do you fuckin’ care?” he snapped, his villager gathering shells on the shoreline.

“I play too and I’ve caught all the fish leaving at the end of the month,” she said as she scuffed her slippered foot against the carpet. “Maybe I could help?”

“Don’t need help,” he said bluntly.

Crunching another piece of her popsicle, she stayed quiet for a moment as she watched his villager stalk the beach for fish to catch. At one point her eyes wandered from the screen to the TV stand itself and she nearly choked on her last bite.

“You got the limited-edition console?!” she nearly screamed, coming closer to where he sat on the couch. “I wanted one so bad but I didn’t have the money to preorder!”

Bakugo sighed and set his joycon butterfly to his left, turning to face her once more with a tired expression. “Are you just going to stand here and bother me until I tell you what I’m trying to catch? Because if that’s the case it’s the blue fuckin’ marlin. Now go away.”

“You were yelling about how it wasn’t spawning, right? If you make a shit ton of bait and keep using it off the pier you can force it to spawn.”

Picking up his joycons he silently resumed his search for more fish. Figuring he truly didn’t want her help she sighed and moved to go to the elevators; she had her popsicle and that could be her victory for the night.

“How much is a shit ton?”

She stopped, teeth sunk halfway into the frozen treat. Turning back to him, he was still facing the TV but his head was cocked as if listening for her answer.

“It depends,” she finally said. “It took me about forty to catch a tuna.”

“Forty?!” he said loudly, moving to meet her gaze. “How the hell am I supposed to farm forty fucking clams and craft bait and it could still not be enough? I’ll be up the rest of the damn night!”

“I…” she cleared her throat and tried again, “I could help you. If we both take a side of your island we can get a bunch and then while you use it I can keep digging. But only if you want.”

He was quiet for a moment and she finished her popsicle as he considered her offer. Finally, his eyes determined, he nodded.

“Alright. Bring shit to make extra shovels because you aren’t chopping any of my trees if yours break.”

She nodded eagerly. “Yeah, sure, just tell me your Dodo code!”

Bakugo watched her sprint into the kitchen to get rid of the popsicle stick before returning to stand by the couch, her hesitance to sit next to him obvious. But even more obvious was a greater threat to his mission for the blue marlin.

“Where’s your phone?” he asked casually. When she furrowed her brows and pulled it from within her shirt as he’d expected, he followed with, “If you’ve got your Switch in there too I’ll actually be impressed.”

Her face went red immediately and she pointed behind her weakly. “I-I’ll just uh…”

He ignored her stuttering and started digging up clams, allowing her to trail off and run to the elevator where she let out a frustrated sigh as the doors closed. Why couldn’t she keep it together?

Going into her room she grabbed her Switch, slightly self-conscious of her choice of cherry blossom custom skin but she pushed it down as she started the game. Once it was loaded and her villager had stepped out of the house she ran back to her orchard and gathered six of her native fruit, an additional offering to her explosive classmate.

She boarded the elevator and was able to gather enough materials for three shovels just in time for the soft ding to sound and the doors to open at the first floor. Rushing back to the common room, she found Bakugo still on the couch but shifted to lean against the right armrest. Before she could think too much about their close proximity she took a seat to the far left and entered her airport.

“Got enough materials to make three more shovels,” she said. “And I grabbed some of my native fruit in case you didn’t have any. They’re cherries.”

“I could use ‘em. You got a thing for cherries or something?” he asked, remembering the scent of the popsicle and eyeing the red stain on her lips.

“Oh, uh, yeah. They’re my favorite fruit,” she replied. “You can judge me if you want but I reset my game until I got cherries. Got ‘em third try!”

Bakugo shrugged lightly as his villager went into his airport. “I can’t judge. Did the same thing to get apples.”

“Are they your favorite?”

“No.”

“Oh, then why did you want them?”

“Are you going to ask this many questions all night?” he asked as his game connected to the dorm’s wifi for a code.

She sighed. “I’m just trying to be nice and make pleasant conversation. I’ll shut up now. Sorry.”

He was quiet, glancing at her as the screen displayed the code and she typed it in, and then exited the small lobby to stand at the end of the ramp to wait for her. They both watched her descent and arrival to his island, her villager titled as an Untamed Lass smiling cutely in a green dress and black beret as she also exited the airport and met him on the grass, dropping cherries and standing back so he could pick them up.

“I wanted apples because when I got my quirk, the first thing I ever blew up was an apple. My parents couldn’t decide if they were excited for my quirk manifesting or upset that they had to give me another bath.”

“That’s kinda the coolest,” she giggled. Catching sight of the black flag with an explosion symbol in the corner of the screen she added, “Your flag’s really cool too. Anyway, do you want me to take the left side of your island’s beaches so you can stay near the pier?”

“That’s fine.”

She set off to her assigned beach, a printed shovel in her villager’s hands. Just as she was stepping onto the sand, she gasped at the sight of a certain squirrel sitting on the beach with a sandwich in hand.

“You have Marshal?! I’m so jealous!”

“First one at my campsite.”

“I love that little blonde bastard.”

His eyebrows lifted at the fondness the would-be insult held but didn’t comment on it as she fell silent, the soft music coming from her console almost synched with the tune coming from the dorm TV. Every so often he could make out the sound of her shoveling up a clam and excited notes trilling at the discovery.

The quiet peace continued between them as they crafted bait at two benches set aside from the pier, her dropping the finished product for him to begin using and then dashing away to find more clams to continue her little farming operation. He gathered the offered bait and stood at the end of the pier to drop the little flakes, backing up when the fish’s shadow seemed large enough for the blue marlin.

It was slow going a first, the bait seemingly wasted as a majority of the shadows were too small to even be worth casting out his line. When he did actually see the right size, he wound up with a ridiculous amount of seabass and the odd olive flounder. He was beginning to understand why she said it could take a while as the sixtieth bait gave a tiny silhouette sure to be a seahorse or clownfish.

A frustrated sigh escaped him as she dropped twenty more bait on the beach before setting out for more. He put them into his inventory and resigned himself to the fact that he was going to be on the couch the entire night tossing bait into the water. Taking his place on the pier he dropped the flakes only to see a large shadow appear, his hope returning just a bit as he cast out but deflating when the harsh vibrations of a good catch didn’t begin as it bit. Then, as if catching a seabass wasn’t bad enough, his fishing rod disintegrated in his villager’s hand.

“For fuck’s sake I hate this,” he growled, eyes closed and fingers pressed to his temples when his joycons were cast aside.

“Here.”

He looked to his left and when she nodded toward the TV he saw the small red toolbox in the sand behind him.

“Thanks,” he grunted as his villager picked it up. “For this and the bait, I guess.”

She shrugged. “It’s nothing.”

Bakugo knew it was just a bunch of addicting pixels they’d paid entirely too much money for but he felt like it was something. He was an unpleasant bastard to be around and he’d snapped at her half a dozen times already in just the last thirty minutes but she’d offered to help and actually done it; it definitely wasn’t nothing so he resolved to be more cooperative if only slightly.

Shaking away his thoughts, bait number sixty-two was thrown and he cast his line, perking up at the heavy vibration in his hands. He didn’t want to get his hopes up when it was likely just an oarfish.

‘Yes! I caught a blue marlin! Listen to this fish. It’s got a point.’

“FUCK YEAH!”

She jumped at his shout but her face broke into a wide smile when she caught site of the large fish in his villager’s hands. She was happy he was able to check it off of his list and even happier that she was able to help even if it was only by digging up and crafting bait.

“You got it with plenty of time to spare!”

“It’s in the critterpedia and once I take the bastard to the museum I don’t give a fuck if I ever catch another one again!” he said.

She chuckled. “Well now that you’ve got your marlin I can head back to my island. Do you wanna kick me out or should I go back to the airport?

“Go back to the airport. Grab some apples on your way out.”

It was progress.

“Thanks, Bakugo.”

After that night their relationship changed from classmates to some semblance of friends who sent each other items in Animal Crossing. Bakugo had asked for her Switch code a few days later and added her through there and through the game to be best friends a week after that. Their text thread was created and almost explicitly used for the purpose of exchanging furniture and alerting the other as to when something was happening on their respective islands to interest them.

He had let her know when Redd showed up with all real art and a white rattan armchair which she had searched for since the game was released. She in turn sent him the black imperial bed he’d been praying would fall from a balloon each time he’d shot one down.

It was a good system, and one that allowed them to get closer to one another in real life too through conversations had about the game. Since the first night when she helped him get the blue marlin she had learned of his quirk manifesting to blow up an apple, that he spent extra for expedited shipping for an Apollo amiibo coin from the UK because he loved the eagle villagers the most due to a book on birds he had obsessively read when he was younger (he also wanted Queenie off of his island—“I kicked that bitch out the second I could!”), and his favorite activity was mountain climbing which is what inspired the jagged cliffs and custom made signs to indicate the sport was welcome on GroundZero.

“What’s the story behind your island’s name, if you have one?” she asked over their voice chat one night as they played. He’d gone home for the first half of the weekend while she stayed in the dorms but he was coming to her island to sell fish and get a model from the ridiculous beaver they both hated.

“You first,” he replied after a long minute.

She shrugged even though he couldn’t see her. “I picked Isla Nova because I think space is cool and novae are beautiful. A bright burst and then a slow fade is tragically poetic.”

“Bring the mood down why don’t you.”

“Your turn,” she reminded. When he was quiet for another drawn out moment, she furrowed her brows, ready to ask if he was still there. He finally broke the silence as she opened her mouth to call his name.

“The world watched All Might’s career end in the heart of Kamino that night,” he said softly. “You know the statue they put up? They called it the statue at ground zero and that it would stand as a reminder of the last act the Symbol of Peace had done to protect everyone. To… to protect some punk ass kid trying to be a hero who got himself kidnapped.”

Her heart broke at the subtle crack in his voice. “Bakugo…”

“That statue is gonna be there for the rest of my life as a reminder that I should’ve been stronger. All Might can tell me it wasn’t my fault until the end of time but I can’t stop feeling like it was. So if that statue is there to remind me that I wasn’t strong then, my hero name is gonna be there to remind me why I have to be strong now and exactly what type of hero I need to be.”

She wasn’t sure what she should say, her mind working to process everything she had just heard. It was no secret to those who paid attention that Bakugo had blamed himself for All Might’s retirement and was self-conscious of the fact the League had sought him out for his potential as a villain; he carried a lot of guilt for things outside of his control. And now he had taken one thing he had control over, his hero name, and built it around that guilt to resolve to be better. The name Ground Zero was his beginning as a real hero and he was willing for it to be his end.

“Does anyone else know about your hero name?”

“Not the backstory, no. Aizawa knows it’s what I put down for my provisional license. I told Best Jeanist first and Kirishima knows too, but other than that you’re the only one who knows the reason behind it.”

Her heartbeat sped up. “Thanks for telling me, Bakugo.”

“Whatever. Are you gonna talk to this buck-toothed asshole or what? He’s by the climbing walls.”

Just like that the mood shifted once again and the calmness of the game enveloped them both. Rainy weather was perfect for fishing and getting the most bells possible for their catches at the late hour, their villagers running about in their raincoats with hers a dotted light blue and his solid green. It was a nice escape, and she enjoyed the peace until she was back on her island and their call had ended.

As she was turning her light off to sleep, she returned to their earlier conversation around his island name and ultimately his hero name. It was strange to have a serious conversation with Bakugo and for it to hold as much meaning as it did made her shudder. On the other hand, it made her cheeks flush to think that he trusted her enough to speak about something so important to him. In two months they had gone from classmates who rarely spoke one on one to friends.

She had to sleep before the grin on her face stuck permanently.

It did return the next day when she found out that her island would play host to shooting stars that night and she eagerly texted Bakugo to let him know, well aware he hadn’t had a meteor shower since they started playing together.

All day her excitement had her wound tightly and hyper, her love of both astrology and space being indulged by Celeste and the beautiful event not able to happen soon enough. Once the blonde came home in time for the class to gather for dinner, he was teasing her for her jitters but happily making plans to meet in the common room around ten to play.

When the time came the common room was empty as expected, their classmates taking a night to themselves in their room after spending so much time with one another. Despite the television being free neither of them docked their consoles to play on the bigger screen, instead opting to play handheld and find a classic rock channel to provide background music to the stars.

Bakugo could admit to himself that he enjoyed this. Quiet music drifting through the air and bright stars across the dark blue sky on his screen was peaceful, something he didn’t get to experience often. He knew the girl sitting beside him was also a big reason as to why it was so nice. Strong, pretty, and sweeter than the nerikiri Sato had served after dinner, he was happy to have her next to him.

They sat together in comfortable silence wishing on the stars, each making their own wordless wishes and wondering if the other was truly making a wish and if so, what was it?

In truth, there were multiple wishes they each made. She wished that she continued to improve with her quirk training, for an opportunity at her preferred agency after the impending summer break, for a safe training camp this year. Bakugo wished for the skills to be number one, for the training to pay off and make him stronger, for the opportunity to redeem himself from Kamino. But they also shared one wish too—I wish there could be more between us.

Nearly an hour after they had sat down Bakugo turned to ask if she wanted to split the last few pieces of desert left over only to find her eyes closed and breathing steady, grip on her joycons slack around a darkened screen. Chuckling to himself, he gently took it from her hand and unlocked it. Tilting the screen up to the sky he held it in his lap next to his own and continued wishing on the stars falling across both screens.

By midnight she hadn’t woken up and his eyes were starting to droop. He kicked himself off of her island and saved her game as his villager returned to his own island, saving once he was able to. The noise of him turning off the TV woke her, her face scrunching cutely as she gained her bearings.

“How long was I asleep?” she asked with a yawn.

“’Bout an hour. I kept wishing on your game so you don’t miss out on any fragments tomorrow,” he said.

She smiled tiredly. “You’re my hero. Thank you, Bakugo.”

He didn’t think her calling him a hero should feel as amazing as it did, igniting a fire in his chest and warming him from the inside out. He wanted to be her hero just as much as he wanted to be a hero in general. He wanted to be her hero, but not as Bakugo. He wanted to be her hero as Katsuki, and maybe the way to get to that point was presenting itself.

“You don’t have to thank me, but if you really want to, how about we go to breakfast in the morning?” he suggested quietly, placing his Switch into it’s carrying case.

A grin bloomed across her face and she nodded eagerly, planning to meet him back in the common room at nine the next morning. He agreed easily. If their friendship could start in the common room, maybe a relationship could too if that’s where they met for a first date.

A/N: Please be sure to reblog, comment, review, and like if you enjoy! Feedback is what keeps me motivated! If you’re curious about all of Bakugo’s villagers, I did make a list but couldn’t find where I wanted to mention it so he has: Coach, Shari, Apollo, Bluebear, Lolly, Hugh, Marshal, Blanche, Rod, & Chrissy. “She” (to continue the self-indulgent nature of this lmao) has Lyman, Katt, Nibbles, Flurry, Olaf, Lobo, Filbert, Francine, Julia, and Papi!

[kattegat-kittycat]

Fates Entwined, part VIII: Follow Your Tale, Remember Your Name

After your former clan was brutally murdered, you agree to an arranged marriage with Ivar to keep your social status. You may not always see eye to eye and sometimes even find yourself on different sides of one war or the other, but somehow you can never escape each other no matter how much you try to forget, deny and run. Somehow you always end up in each other’s faces. Sometimes quite literally.

A/N:  So, here we go. This is more of a transitionary chapter to set up a few things, but more will follow and I hope soon. Somehow this story and its world keep expanding and there’s going to be more going on than simply the Ivar-Y/N-relationship and I don’t quite know how this is going to work out, but I enjoy writing it, so I’ll just go where the (writing) flow takes me. It also means a lot of editing and some fact checking here and there, which is why this takes me so long, because sometimes I just can’t bring myself to read through the same chapter for the 27th time. So, sorry for the delay, but thanks for reading it to all of you.

Thanks also to the people who asked to be tagged, I only hope, I won’t let you down: @youbloodymadgenius @xnnskwjeheb2j @blonddnamedhandz 

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

To the moon and back, then you stabbed me in the back

And it’s you who’s sad, see the irony in that

I’m moving a white flag, I see red then I see black

No don’t be sad

Forever never lasts

(Blind Channel – Died Enough For You)

It was funny how fate could bring two people together, only after they decided to part ways. Neither me, nor Ivar actually knew where my departure from Kattegat left our marriage. We never mentioned seperating as we fought and I did have the intention to return to Kattegat, or rather to him. After all, I had promised Aslaug to take care of Ivar. By now I had promised so many different things to so many different people that I wasn’t quite sure what I was doing for myself anymore.

But whatever it was that was between us, it left us no time to wonder. Fate was not easy to escape, no matter how violently you thrashed in its grip. It sure was not as simple as leaving the town your husband lived in.

The first couple of nights, I was staying in Hedeby and Ragnheiđur and I were supposed to leave in the morning, when I experienced first hand what had happened to Ivar and how Ivar had happened to others after I had left. I was almost angry at myself for leaving, when I saw what a moody mess I had left behind.

A happy Margarete had made the unfortunate mistake to come to our home only hours after I had left. She didn’t quite bother to knock, as she was so used to it being only me in our part of the house and Ivar being gone. It had never been a problem for me, her just coming into my room unannounced, but today was different. As soon as she saw Ivar lying on the bed, she realised her mistake and was about to quickly and quietly leave before Ivar would notice her, just as his cold eyes met hers.

“What are you doing here, slave?” he spat at her, looking angrier than ever, “Did you come here to mock me?”

I could see Margarete flinch, fear imprinted on her face. “I…I was looking for Y/N…” she began and Ivar sat up in his bed.

“And why is that? What news could someone like you have for my wife?” My heart skipped a beat. ‘My wife’. It felt utterly and surprisingly comforting to hear the words from him.

Margarete ignored the insult. “Ubbe freed me. He intends to marry me. I meant to tell her that.” She got a little flustered and my heart went out to her. Ivar’s face got dark with disdain.

“Oh, but why would she care?” he asked with a false lightness in his voice.

“We are friends.” Margarete replied with conviction.

Now Ivar laughed haughtily and shook his head. “Oh, Margarete, I believe you are mistaken. Because she left Kattegat at noon and she didn’t even bother telling you.” His voice was sweet poison, but Margarete’s eyes spoke of her mistrust.

“I don’t believe you!”

“Oh, but look around. Do you see any of her belongings?”

Margarete looked around and saw nothing but Ivar’s clothes and trinkets. “What did you do? You made her leave, what did you do now to drive her away!?” she spat at him. I admired her loyalty as a friend, how she did not question my motives, but I also had a bad conscience, because I didn’t tell her about it.

“As you should.” I heard Ivar’s voice in my head, as clear as if he was standing right in front of me. I sat up in my bed, breathing heavily, just as Ivar sat up in Kattegat.

I looked around, but I was alone. I took a few shaky breaths and tried to calm myself down, but I was shaken to the core.

He on the other side smirked and cocked his head. “Interesting.” He whispered into the dark of his room. The game had changed, once again.

*

I got up early, as I couldn’t go back to sleep after that weird episode. So I started readying the horses for our ride from Hedeby to Ripa. I was just about to get some provisions for the way, so we would not have to waste any time looking for food, when Ragnheiđur showed up behind me.

“You are up early, are you so excited to get back to your home?” she asked me, smiling.

I looked at her with a sad smile. “Yes. And no. Of course, I love getting back home and spending time with my people, but I would have loved to share that with Ivar.”

Ragnheiđur squeezed my shoulder. “Well, I might not be Ivar, but I am looking forward to sharing it with you.”

I frowned. “And why is that? It will be a long ride and if you trust my husband, the company is lousy.”

She made an indignant face. “He did not say that!” Her hands on her hips, she looked fierce.

“No, he didn’t really say that. But he didn’t seem that interested in seeing what is close to my heart. It has always been his father, his revenge, avenging his father, making his father proud…” I rolled my eyes. “I mean, I get it, there are a lot of expectations resting on the brothers’ shoulders, but nobody would expect Ivar to go.”

Now Ragnheiđur shook her head. “Oh Y/N, that is where you missed the point. Especially because no one ever expected anything of him, he wants to show the world what he is capable of. Just think of yourself, didn’t you feel the same need? To prove to the world that you are not just a little girl they can scare away?”

I shrugged. “Maybe, mostly I was angry because they killed my family…”, and wasn’t that exactly, what motivated Ivar right now? “Okay, I see where you’re going with this. He has a valid point. But still, he disregards my feelings and my wishes, he tries to manipulate everybody around him, I mean… I love him, but I hate it when he tries to manipulate me and even more when he thinks he has to manipulate me to get his way. He is just like his mother in that aspect.”

Ragnheiđur snorted dryly. “Let me get breakfast and then we will ride. I believe there is a lot you need to tell me about you and your Ivar.”

And I told her everything. She was silent for the most part, but asked a few questions here and there. When I had finished, she shook her head.

“This union of yours, it is nothing out of this world. And you should really get to the bottom of this before this whole mess spirals out of control.”

I looked at her for a long time, then I sighed. I knew she was right, but I was afraid what I was going to discover. And I did not want to talk about this anymore. “But what about you Ragnheiđur, are you married?”

She gave a light hearted laugh. “No, and listening to your stories, I am really glad I am not. There are few eligible men in Hedeby and most of them are either already promised to other women or they are too scared to ask for my hand.”

I chuckled. “So this is why you wanted to come to Ripa with me.”

She joined in my laughter. “Right, you got me”, she rolled her eyes playfully. “No, it is just… I have never been further than Kattegat. I know everything and everyone in Hedeby. I wanted some sense of adventure and challenge. And Lagertha knows that. She probably doesn’t expect me back in Hedeby anytime soon.”

Returning to Ripa was different this time. We were given a warm welcome right away and went straight to my estate, where Ole paid us a visit. He had anticipated the same trouble I had, so he was happy to see me back with time to spare before our warriors would come by. He also told me that other earls in the area had tried to encroach upon my lands and especially from Bork to the north of Ripa, at the Ringkoebing fjord. The farmers up there started to try and take away land from mine, another matter I would have to address at the Thing assembly that – as he told me – would take place in a couple of weeks. Ragnheiđur was there and listened to everything, asking a few questions and then listening again. I understood what Lagertha meant when she said that Ragnheiđur was good in a crisis. She had a bright head on her shoulders and we already had a plan of how to get ahead of any trouble that might be brought on by the return of the men from the Mediterranean.

After the death of my uncle, his kin, and his followers, there were estates to be taken care of, so anybody of the men who wished to stay in Ripa and not go on any further raids could get a plot of land. We would talk to the wives of the returning warriors, ask them how they felt about the change in leadership and what they expected of a good and just leader. Ole already said that one of those things would be for me to be present and not with my husband in Kattegat or on a raid and it was confirmed as we made our inquiries. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose when he had left. Maybe Ivar was right, maybe being his wife would have been enough of a job for me. But I would not give up. I could not give up, now that people depended on me. Ragnheiđur patted my shoulder when we were done and smiled encouragingly.

“You look just like Lagertha did after her first week as an earl. You’ll get used to it.” She chuckled then readied herself to go to bed. She was better prepared for this than I was and I had a feeling that Lagertha had known that.

*

Weeks went by, Björn and his men had returned, preventing Ivar, Sigurd and Ubbe from killing Lagertha, and then Hvitserk had not only told his brothers that he thought it a bad idea to kill Lagertha now, but he had also taken the time to explain to a furious Ivar why it would not be wise to kill the woman now. He did not mention to Ivar, how he thought that their mother had probably had it coming, but Ivar could read enough in between the lines to know that Hvitserk had his mind set on Aelle first and foremost and didn’t care that much about ever avenging their mother.

But the preparations took too long for his impatient thirst for revenge and he was lost. For once, he did not know, where to go or who to talk to here in Kattegat. His mother and Y/N had gone, both in their own ways and he knew of the politic troubles Y/N had to take care of in her own home town. Oh, how he loathed politics like these, the little deals, the whole fragility of it all. But he did watch on with awe at how she managed her community, as often as he got glimpses of it. Their connection was a weird one, waving in and out of existence, getting stronger and weaker in random instances. It was mostly small scences out of her or his life they shared, always somewhere in that space between sleep and awake. On some rare occasions, he had been able to comment on something or heard her voice talking to him. But neither of them could control those small glimpses and they were gone as soon as one of them awoke.

His brothers were wrapped up in fucking either Margarete, Astrid or other men and trying to keep other people from finding out, so he prefered to gather the intel, but not bother them. Also, they had the annoying tendency of not listening to what he had to say or – if they did listen – using what he said against him at a later time. They were such heroes. He snorted. But there was one good thing about the men returning from the Mediterranean; Floki was back. It was a long crawl, even though – thanks to the rapid growth of the town – his home was no longer that far away from the life of the town. He could still remember when Aslaug had brought him here the first time. The journey had felt much longer then, most of the way being uncharted wood land. He remembered her words as clearly as if it had been yesterday.

“Floki, I came to deliver my precious son into your hands. This is Ivar, who I love more than anyone else alive. And, Floki, I know he is clever. I want you to teach him the ways of our Gods, teach Ivar the true path. Teach him to hate the Christian God as you hate the Christian God! Only you can do it, not Ragnar. I will bring him to you every day. Teach him to be a Viking, teach him the deep and ancient ways.” And that had been exactly what happened. None of his brothers understood why these Christians didn’t deserve to live after they had condemned his father to death. None of them. Only he did, because he had been crawling out to Floki’s home and listened to his stories, every single day of his young life. And Floki’s stories had always been worth the way.

As he entered today, though, he was faced with a surprise. “She will make a good slave.” He tried to say something nice about the odd scene he found, with a strange child being tended to by Helga.

“She is my child!” Helga exclaimed. And where Ivar had always thought that Floki was the crazy one out of the two of them, he was now proven wrong. He shrugged it off, that was Floki’s matter, not his.

After Helga and Tanaruz had left and Floki had gone back to being his old self with Ivar, he was able to finally ask for what he had come for.

“I cannot crawl around the battlefield…” he mentioned. Floki looked at him and Ivar could see how the little wheels inside the boat maker’s head started to turn and spin and work. He loved Floki for many reasons, but he was almost envious at his ability to build everything his mind could think up and the way there was nothing his mind couldn’t think up. Ivar smiled, happier than he had been in the past weeks. Since Y/N had gone. And well, there she was again. He clenched his jaw in anger, which Floki did not fail to notice.

“Ivar, if you don’t mind me asking, where did Y/N go? I have heard the wildest stories, from her being an earl in some far away earldom to you killing her and feeding her to the boars. What happened to the two of you?”

Ivar’s fist clenched. “She decided I wasn’t enough for her. Lagertha gave her what she had wanted all along and away she went.” He turned to Floki with angry tears in his eyes.

Floki shook his head. “I don’t believe you for a second. That girl? She really liked you and believe me, we all were confused as to why she liked you. But Gods, was she fond of you.”

Ivar’s self-controll burst and he shouted: “She did not care about me! All she cared about was the influence she could gain by marrying me! And now she is acting like I am the one that hurt her!”

Floki went by Ivar and gave him a slap on the back of his head. “Stupid boy! She adored you more than she probably had reason for. Stop wallowing and just tell me why she left. If you want to keep on drowning in self-pity, I’ll give you something to be sour about.”

Ivar gave a grunt and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Then he recounted the story as far as he knew it. Told him about their connection, showed Floki the scar on his shoulder.

When he saw that, Floki took a step back, eyes wide. “What has your mother done?” he whispered, intrigue drawing him closer again. He reached out his fingers to touch the scar, but in the last moment before he would have actually touched Ivar, he flinched away as if he had been burned.

Ivar’s voice drawled, as he cocked an eyebrow. This question started to bore him. “We don’t know, what has she done, will you tell me? Nobody we asked knew about it, they all just looked at us with pretty much the same expression you do now.”

“That”, and Floki pointed to the scar, “That is old magic. That is something I don’t know enough about and even our seer won’t be able to help you with” (he couldn’t, Ivar had already tried) “This is the domain of the völva and the völva alone.”

“Are you saying my mother was a völva?” Ivar asked, intrigued.

“Yes and no. She was a seer, but she never seriously worked on the practical magic which being a völva involved, maybe she tried the odd ritual here and there, but she was never as deeply commited as she would have had to be to actually work some magic. But I fear she attempted something and the result was more than she had bargained for.”

“Which did not keep Y/N from running off to her earldom as soon as she…as she…” Again, tears were in Ivar’s eyes and he angrily blinked them away. Floki was taken aback by that display of emotions, rarely had he seen Ivar that vulnerable.

“What, Ivar? What did she do?”

Ivar closed his eyes and shook his head. “She broke my heart, Floki. She broke my heart and she took part of it with her.” He hated himself for feeling this weak.

“Like she should, because part of your heart will always be hers. I have seen you together, Ivar. We all have. And believe me, no one had ever thought they would see you that happy. So, why did she go away?”

“She said she had urgent business in Ripa and she left.”

“She just left?” Floki echoed, voice hollow from disbelief.

“She might have asked me to come with her.” Ivar said and looked away to the side. He sounded like a headstrong child, but he didn’t care.

“Then why didn’t you go with her?” Floki asked, almost exasperated. His long fingers at his temples.

“Because father told me to avenge him. And that happiness is nothing compared to bringing honour to our people.”

Floki groaned and put his face in his hands. “Ivar, your father, I loved him, but as great as he was, he was not without fail. Your father was many things, but he was not a happy man, because of the decisions he made along the way to greatness. He was a great man, but rarely have I seen him happy after he left that small farm that was the beginning of this town to go into the world. Why follow the advice of a man killed by his own ambition?”

Ivar looked at Floki for a long time, heart heavy. “I promised him, Floki. And I cannot break my promise. I will not let father down.”

“Oh, you Lothbroks! You are such fools sometimes. Believe me when I tell you that you broke her heart just as much as she broke yours.”

“We kind of had sex, Floki. I am not as boneless as everybody thought I was!” Ivar suddenly burst out with a grin.

At first he was confused by the quick change in subject, but then Floki’s face lit up. “Really?”

Ivar gave a nod. “Yes! I could, I… I reacted.”

Floki gave a single, joyful laugh and clapped his hands together. “Ivar, maybe your mother did know what she did after all.”

 *

I groaned when I woke up. Of course he had to go tell Floki about that night. I got up quickly and went to get some water from the well. Although it was early, the town was already busy. Some of my men were preparing to leave for Kattegat to join the Lothbroks’ army on their raid to Northumbria. I was thinking about joining their journey to Kattegat to see them off and to see Ivar, even though there was a lot to be done here in Ripa as well. Ragnheiđur and I had been preparing for the Thing meeting that would be today, which meant that we would have to leave into the direction of the Thingstead soon. I would have to show a strong hand to keep my claim to all of my lands against Earl Magnusson of Bork, but also against the other earls of Jutland. As we all knew, it would mean war if they did not adhere to my requests to leave my lands alone and none of us wanted war, especially not in these days. At least that was what Ragnheiđur kept telling me. And if they accepted me, depended on how willing I looked to defend my lands to the blood.

We arrived early and were closely eyed by the other earls who had seen each other before. I, on the other hand, was a newcomer and had to introduce myself to most of them, though some of them remembered me as a child and told me just that. I wasn’t sure if they meant to belittle me or question my position, but no one dared to openly speak against me. One of the first matters in the Thing was just that: who was I, what was my intent as earl and how would I contribute to the community in Jutland.

The chieftain and leader of the Thing asked me straight away, why I had killed my uncle and all of his kin and followers and I stepped forward, looked the earls in the eyes, one after the other, then shook my head.

“I know, you had already accepted him into your midst as the earl of Ripa, but were you not aware of the fact that he had his own brother, my father, and his whole family killed?”

Earl Magnusson snorted. “Well, he cannot possibly have had your whole family killed, when you are standing right here in front of us.”

Murmurs arose, but I looked him dead in the eye. Oh, how I hated a smart ass. “You want to know why that is, Earl Magnusson? The reason for that is that he intended to take me as his second wife to validate his claim. I escaped to Kattegat, where an old friend of my mother gave me shelter and later married me off to her youngest son. The influence I gained, I used to gather a small but loyal army to reclaim Ripa. And as you are able to see, with me standing right in front of you today, I was successful. The people of Ripa accepted me as their earl and I would like to tell them that all of you peacefully agreed to accept my claim as well.”

The Earl of Toender raised his hand. “And this mysterious husband of yours, where is he? Why didn’t he come to strengthen your position? You are just a woman after all.”

I glared at him. If he didn’t like women in positions of power, I would give him something to hate. “First of all, because he trusts that I am very well able to hold my own, even against old men with antiquated world views like yours.” Another murmur went through the room. “Secondly, he is preparing to assemble the greatest army in the history of our people to avenge his father, Ragnar Lothbrok, who was killed by King Aelle in Northumbria.”

A younger man sitting behind Earl Magnusson looked up at me. “You are married to one of Ragnar Lothbrok’s sons?” he asked, interested.

“Yes, his youngest, Ivar Ragnarsson. Why do you ask?” I replied questioningly.

“I heard of their efforts to raise another army, I just wasn’t sure it was the truth, as many warriors, me included, only just returned from the raid to the Mediterranean under Björn Ironside’s lead.”

“This revenge is the reason Ironside returned from the Mediterranean right now, as far as I know, but my information is a few weeks old. Some of my men stayed in Kattegat, ready to leave as soon as the army sets sail, but some of them wanted to see their wives and children before they left again.”

The young man smiled. “Well, I returned, because I left a leg in Spain”, he gestured to the place where his right shin should have been and grinned crookedly, “but many of our men would be willing to leave for a raid like this. Wouldn’t they, father?” He looked up to Earl Magnusson and I almost choked on the words I had intended to say.

The chieftain interrupted us anyway: “We can talk about this matter after we have brought the question about Ripa’s rightful holder to an end. Is there anyone who opposes Y/N [Y/F/N]sdottir’s claim to Ripa and all its lands?” he threw a sharp look to Earl Magnusson of Bork, but nobody raised their hand or voice, which meant, the Thing had accepted me. I looked at Ragnheiđur, who smiled encouragingly at me.

Then Earl Magnusson’s son, by now we knew that his name was Birger, returned to the subject of the raid against the Saxons. “Why don’t we send a combined force from Jutland to Kattegat? We have a fleet of ships waiting to be tested in Bork. That would be the fastest way to Kattegat. We could ask our men, who of them wants to leave, send a messenger to Kattegat and tell them when our forces would arrive to support their efforts.”

It wasn’t the worst idea I had heard today. It would save us valuable time and form a tighter bond between the earldoms of Jutland. And I wasn’t the only one convinced, so we talked everything through and it was decided that our men would depart from Bork in a week’s time and the messenger was sent to Kattegat right away.

When we finally left the actual assembly, I looked at Ragnheiđur. “So, that is some weight off my shoulders. But what does that mean for you? Will you return to Hedeby? Sailing with them to Kattegat and continuing on horseback back to Hedeby would probably be the fastest way for you to get there…” I trailed off, when her smile sank.

“I feel like we only got here. I don’t want to leave right away. Also”, now she grinned from ear to ear, “I gave the messenger a message for Lagertha that I would be staying here to help you prepare for the winter.”

“But don’t they need you back in Hedeby for that?” I asked.

She shook her head. “They have three capable leaders in Torvi, Astrid and Lagertha, I am nice to have, but not necessary. Unless you want me gone, of course.” She grinned and cocked her head.

I shook my head. “I don’t want you gone, it’s just… I don’t know how I can repay you or Lagertha for sending you with me.”

“I don’t know about Lagertha, but you can repay me by figuring out your problems with your husband. You should go to Kattegat with our men.”

“Ivar won’t let me go to fight the Saxons with him and he won’t stay in Kattegat or come to Ripa with me, so why go to Kattegat?” I asked her, slightly frustrated with the situation. I was too proud to admit to her that I had already played with the thought myself.

She lightly touched my shouder and smiled at me. “Because you love him. You have told me everything about the two of you, and the one thing I could see was the affection you held when you were talking about him. You need to see him and you need to fix this awkward distance that is between you right now. Tell him how you feel. He might die in Northumbria and he would know, but he would have never heard the actual words from you, knowing that you mean them.”

I stared into the distance for a long time, before I looked back at her, face serious. “I hate how right you are. So, let’s go talk to Earl Magnusson.” I was about to walk toward the earl and his son, when she held me back.

“You know there is another thing you need to do. You need to talk to someone who can tell you what exactly it was that Aslaug did to you.”

“Well, the only person able to do that was Aslaug and she is long gone…” I drifted off.

For the first time I saw something like impatience in Ragnheiđur. “And this is where you are wrong. There is this woman living out in the marshes beyond the town limits, she knows about ancient magic.”

“Are you talking of Yrsa?” I asked, a lump in my throat.

“Yes! She is a völva, she could help you!”

I looked to the ground, feeling childish. Yrsa had been old when I was still a child. And she had given me the creeps back then, still did today.

“You cannot be serious”, I heard Ivar’s mocking voice in my head, “She could help and you don’t want to see her, because she scares you?”

I closed my eyes and groaned. “Who is asleep at this time of day?!” I asked loudly and impatiently.

“I had an exhausting afternoon preparing for battle”, I saw flashes of him riding in a chariot Floki had built him, it was exhilirating, but I shook my head, “Oh, you already know…” he whispered conspiratorially.

“Just wake up and leave me alone.” I whispered angrily.

His voice was gone. Silence. Then Ragnheiđur looked at me, slightly worried.

“We should get this cleared up sooner rather than later, Y/N.” she said and tried to keep her face neutral, though I could tell that she was slightly uncomfortable with my behavior.

I shrugged. “It’s been like this for weeks now, I have almost gotten used to it by now.”

She looked me straight in the eyes. “But until today it has never happened while you were awake, has it?”

I stared back at her, mouth open. She was right. I took a deep breath. One step in front of the other. First we would close out the Thing, look like sane people, and ride back to Ripa. And then we would try to see Yrsa as soon as possible. And “we” in this case did not include Ragnheiđur, but me and Ivar.

[hollowcrovvn]

Every Breath (RK900 x f!reader | reposted)

Rating: M

Pairing: RK900 x f!Reader Summary: Nines has you in his sights, all parameters designating you as his perfect potential partner. Though he is a bit confused on what type of partner that means. Notes: SHAMELESS PWP because I’m thirsty and needed a tall glass of Nines. I GOT TUMBLR FLAGGED SO REPOSTING (ao3)

Working with Gavin had been satisfactory. RK900's, Nines, performance had been holding steady at 96.2% effectiveness, but there was always room for improvement. RK900 knew it made the humans around it more comfortable to refer to "him" with masculine pronouns and had labeled him with the nickname "Nines" to further his assimilation and to avoid confusing him with the "other" similar looking but obsolete model RK800. It was unconsciously done, humans liked to be around their own kind, which is why he looked like this to begin with. There were probably better forms, more structurally sound and efficient, but Nines was trapped within this human shell. He envied computers sometimes, if only for their streamlined aesthetic, but alas, he needed a means to carry his bio-components from room to room.

Speaking of people who only existed to bring their brain room to room, Gavin entered the offices at that moment with you alongside him. Scans indicated heightened caffeine levels in both Gavin's and the officers bloodstream; coffee date? No. Account balances showed Gavin had only paid for his own. Nines relaxed back, crossing his leg to rest on his knee. He was programmed to display more human characteristics than the RK800 was capable of— well, before it deviated. Again, all simply a means to make him appear more approachable and therefore, more human. Did it work? Hardly. Everyone eyed him with unveiled suspicion. They had accepted the RK800, but such courtesy had not yet been extended to him.

He had to work on that.

"You're in my seat, tin-can." Gavin said, the insult having of late lost much of its malice and becoming almost as much of a nickname as the "Nines" he had bestowed upon him. Nines stood and moved to the opposite chair, feeling no need to argue the point that technically, it was his. Nines had learned his first week of Gavin's preoccupation with starting needless conflict, you on the other hand were far less simple of a puzzle.

You didn't like him, that was evident by your tone, refusal to meet his eyes and your micro-expressions that often expressed ill-ease. There was however, some other cues that indicated the exact opposite. Nines had categorized you under "mixed feelings" in regards to his existence.

You were an officer, but specifically you were trained for and worked in crime scene investigation and had been the rising star forensic photographer for about three years now. A quick file search showed you were still waiting to take the detective's exam, hoping for a career change. Nines disapproved. He wanted you to take your exam as soon as possible so he could submit his request to be reassigned as your partner. He had been watching you closely, examining how you worked scenes and how you processed evidence. He had listened in on your conversations with other officers to get an idea of your personality, hobbies and other personal information needed to determine how well you'd fit.

It was simple math. All probability suggested you would raise his effectiveness level to 98.8%. A 2.6% increase was very appealing, along with the fact you were the most likely to "bond" with him over Gavin or any other officer. Nines knew this of course, because of that the one factor you had that no one else did, the thing that filed you under "mixed feelings". Your pupils expanded when you looked at him and the beat of your pulse was less to do with fear and more to do with excitement. In short, despite your reservations, you were sexually attracted to him. He had paid attention to your interactions with the RK800 and found no similar reaction, which indicated it was specific to his model. Nines could work with that.

Parameters adjusted and he gave a friendly smile to you, making sure it reached his eyes.

"Good morning, officer. How are you feeling today?"

"Jesus," you said with a scowl, "You know, it's kinda rude to scan people without permission." you said, circles under your eyes, "It's called a hangover, Nines. Keep it to yourself."

"I didn't—" Nines started, noting now all the tell-tale signs of veisalgia now that you had mentioned it, "I apologize, ma'am. I did not scan your vitals, I was simply trying to be polite."

Unlike Gavin, your face lit up red, burning with sudden embarrassment.

"Oh..."

"Busted." Gavin said with a laugh, taking his seat.

"Er— sorry. I just assumed."

"It's quite alright, officer. It has been a very eventful week for you. Studying for the detective exam?"

Now the embarrassment turned into something akin to shame, veiled with anger. Parameters needed to adjust again. Somehow he'd said the wrong thing, as if he was judging her night time excursions.

"Do they program you to be a smart ass, or is that just you?"

"I am most certainly programmed to be smart." he said, definitely being one now.

Gavin would have reacted negatively to the quip, but your features softened and your expression became one of vague admiration for the joke.

"I bring it up because I would like to be of help. If you need someone to go over terms or do practice questions, I am able to access past tests and example questions going back several years."

"So can a computer." you said.

"I'm better company."

Gavin snorted as he listened in, shaking his head.

"Nines, why you getting up in her business? Don't you got some 001's to compile or some shit?"

Nines ignored him, eyes fixed only on you. He used his appearance and expressions to his advantage, artificially expanding his own pupils and leaning back in his chair in a way that was open and inviting. He had removed his jacket prior to your arrival and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, displaying the muscles of his arms and the broadness of his shoulders and chest more obviously. Human mating patterns were so *easy* to mimic and based on how your eyes were everywhere but on his right now, his efforts were quite effective. Your core temperature levels had risen slightly, a specific concentration noted between your thighs. An excellent sign.

You sucked a corner of your lip into your mouth as you appeared to consider the offer.

"Why the hell not?"

Gavin shot you an impetuous look.

"What? I need all the fuckin' help I can get. Might as well use the tools CyberLife saddled us with before they take over."

The words "mission accomplished" registered in Nines feed, invisible to all but him. A new objection presented itself:

Establish bond with future detective.

---

Practice was hardly something you needed. Based on your answers to the first few practice problems Nines determine you were good, very good. You combined the objectivity of academia easily with that human factor, that originality to approaching problems. It was obvious you hid these accomplishments from your fellows like Gavin, choosing to fit in more than stand out in that regard. As you sat diagonal from him at your kitchen table, eyeing over a new logic puzzle Nines sent to your tablet, he took the chance to open some files within his mind and peruse your photos.

You were also more than adequate at capturing a crime scene, there was an artistry to your attention to light and contrast, making sure every detail was preserved. This was more than just attention to detail though. Another search brought up more pleasant images, hosted on a freelance photography site under your name. The contrast of dark and light remained, both in color and subject matter, but the photos were more “light hearted” than a crime scene shoot of course.

When his attention came back to present he noted you were staring at him rather intently, tilting your head and sitting back and then forward a few times, adjusting him in the lens of your minds eye.

“Why did you want to help me?” you said, tossing down your stylus and heading to the kitchen. When you returned, you had a bottle of vodka, juice and a glass. Singular. You poured at least a double shot into the glass and chased it with orange juice. Swirling it unceremoniously you began drinking it very quickly.

“You would make a good detective.” Nines said simply, knowing that as you weren’t a direct commander, he could opt to ignore or even lie in response to certain queries.

“Gavin thinks you have a crush on me.”

“That’s not possible, I am a machine. But...” Nines paused, leaning forward slightly, “I hope we might be closer. I’d find it agreeable for you to “like” me.”

You hummed, finishing off your drink and going to pour another. Nines hand closed over the top of your glass, stopping you.

“We’re still studying, officer.”

“Thought you said you wanted me to like you?” you said with a slow smile, putting your hand over his own to move it aside. He didn’t budge, instead capturing your hand in his own and pushing it away.

“I do.”

“See, I’m not convinced, Nines.” you said, a challenge. Parameters were adjusting, fitting to the task.

O Convince

X Give Up

Choose Approach:

X Flattery

O Rational

^ Logical

"Would I be willing to assist you in passing your exam if I did not want you to have a favorable opinion of me?"

"Oh no, that I believe. It's the why, that you ain't sold me on."

X Flattery

O Rational

^ Logical

"You are a very intelligent and capable, woman. You deserve to make detective and I would consider myself lucky to work with you."

That was laying it on a bit thick, but something in his words had peaked your interest, a slow smile starting at the corner of your mouth.

"A "woman"— not an "officer"? So you can make the distinction then?"

Nines brow furrowed, slightly confused, "I am programmed to observe outward appearances and use of pronouns to establish the correct gender of a person, yes."

"There are lots of capable women officers on the force, and Gavin is a good detective too."

X Flattery

O Rational

^ Logical

"I know. I ran the probabilities. But if I were partnered with you, I would be better at completing my missions by a factor of two point six percent."

The truth at last. You sat back, grinning to yourself.

"And why would you think I'd stick it to Gavin and accept you as a partner?"

Nines paused, wording carefully, "Humans enjoy working with co-workers that they enjoy the company of. If you liked me more than Gavin, then you'd be more likely to accept such a request."

You stood, pushing the chair back as you came around the side of the table. You were close, close enough he could register that same spike in your temperature through his dermis without using a scan.

He looked up at you, purposefully expressionless.

"How were you planning on getting me to like you better?" you said, voice low, "Given your display at the office today, I think I know." You took the opportunity to take back your glass, setting it aside though as you seemed now more intent on a different kind of pursuit.

"Anyway within the confines of reason and legality." Nines answered, moving back in his chair to stand but finding himself suddenly incapable of doing so as you straddled the chair and sat down in his lap.

Nine— was not programmed for this. But he would be, in approximately .2 seconds as he downloaded the pertinent information. You leaned a forearm against his chest, resting the elbow of your other arm against him as you put your chin against your fist. You observed him with an almost casual curiosity, despite the way you sat astride him, the heat of you making his sensors spiral through several data points so fast his parameters shifted.

Engage in consensual sexual activity to solidify bond.

"You surprise me." Nines said, earning him another curious look.

"How so?"

"I never thought you'd be one to want to fuck an android."

His obscenity threw you off guard and you seemed prepared to protest, even drawing back and the shift in your weight indicating you were preparing to get back up. Instead though, Nines stood, arms bracing beneath your thighs as he pushed you up unto the surface of the table. The glass clattered, falling over and rolling off the table to land on the rug beneath with a heavy thud.

"Keep dreaming, tin-can." you said, pushing your hand flat against his chest. He made no attempt to get closer, "I only sleep with people who have a pulse."

Nines tilted his head slightly, eyes narrowed. He reached up slowly, grabbing your wrist and moving your hand a little further down on his chest. When you felt the pulse beneath, steady and strong, it was startling— the exact reaction he wanted.

"Qualifier met." Nines said, simple. Direct.

Despite yourself you huffed a laugh, "Well... fuck me."

"That is what we are discussing." Nines said.

"Too much discussing. Not enough doing." you said and the hand on the center of his chest balled into a fist in his jacket as you pulled him down, catching his lips in a biting kiss.

His LED turned from blue to red without even pausing at yellow. When you drew back, there was blue blood on your lips and the taste of thirium in both your mouths. Something in Nine's eyes sharpened, even as his lids fell half closed. He wiped the cut on his lip with his thumb, looking at the blood with vague interest before he cupped your face in his hand and smeared the blue across your chin and then up to your lips. Your tongue chased the movement and he pressed the pad of his thumb down against it almost as a reprimand.

"You're wearing too many clothes, officer. We'll need to take them off." Nines said, hands already undoing the front of your jeans. You tugged your shirt off, throwing it off into the room before straightening out your hips more so Nines could pull off your jeans in one smooth movement. The cold was a shock as you realized he'd managed to completely undress you from the waste down, your panties hem flush with the hem of your jeans as he tossed them aside.

You were left in nothing but your bra, which Nines hooked a finger in the front clasp, pulling it up a bit from your breastbone. A snap of his fingers and it was open, slipping it off your shoulders. It was not lost on you that Nines remained entirely dressed, still secured up to the neck in the high collared uniform.

"I can tell you like to misbehave," Nines said, stopping your attempt to pull him in close again, "But it's just to hide from them how you crave structure. Keep your hands down."

The immediacy in which you followed the command, setting your hands on the edge of the table, drew a half smile to the corner of his lips.

"You need direction. Someone to guide you." Nines laid his palm flat on your collarbone, slowly moving up your neck and then down, tracing the curve of your breast with the back of his knuckles. You arched your chest forward into the touch, Nines clicking his tongue scoldingly.

"Turn around, palms flat on the table. Don't move."

Something in your eyes sparkled, even as you did as you were told, however slowly you did it. Making a spectacle of yourself, swaying your hips invitingly as you bent over. Nines could barely stop himself from running his palm over your ass, squeezing. Suddenly that same hand was on your back, pushing you a little further. You gasped, the table cold on your heated skin, nipples pebbled and hard as they occasionally brushed the surface.

"This is why you would be a perfect fit... " Nines continued, nudging your legs apart with his own. He rested his hand on the cleft of your ass, spreading your vulva with his thumb, "... intelligent, loyal," he slipped his hand between your legs, cupping you, stroking your folds with his index and middle finger until you were up on your toes, trying to maneuver more pressure into the light touch, "...Obedient."

The sound of his palm connecting to your ass was loud in the silence, the cry that came from your throat even more so. You stood still again, moaning in frustration as you clawed at the table.

"Patience, officer."

"Just do it, for christ's—"

Another slap, this time it actually stung just a little, sending satisfaction in trembling waves down your spine that Nines could see with every scan. Despite what he said, he slowly slipped a finger inside, the sound so obscene with how wet you were already and so fluid that he was quick to add another.

"You're already ready for me, aren't you?" Nines said, moving faster, deeper. You had to be able to feel the warm trickle of your own fluids running down your thigh, "I know you've seen me watching you. Assessing your qualities."

His finger hooked and your body arched inward, jerking as you gasped, a moan strangled in your throat as he found that spot and pressed on it again and again. Your thighs trembled, tingling sensations collecting at the base of your spine and spreading out in a growing spanse over your body. Right when you were there, Nines stopped, taking his hand from you and wiping the fluid onto the side of your hip.

You made a noise of protest, rising up from the table, but his hand was on your back again, pushing you all the way down.

"You were happy enough to wait to take the detective exam— to make me wait. Now you wait."

It was quiet for a moment, not being able to see what Nines was doing was clearly both unsettling and arousing as he watched you wiggle, desperately trying to keep yourself still but almost coming apart with the anticipation. Nines unbuckled the front of his belt, unzipping just enough. RK900 were outfitted in every possible way, with the latest programming and technology in all aspects of human sexuality. It was effective in helping understand certain— "crimes of passion".

Nines let the head of his cock just barely brush your vulva, sliding it up and down the slick soft skin, enjoying the velvety feel of it against the sensitive modulars designed to simulate all the human sensations. Nines swallowed thickly, trying to keep his parameters clear and set while also feeling the conflicting confusion of multiple possible decisions. He settled it down to two.

Choose Approach:

X Deep Pace: Slow

O Quick Pace: Fast

"Show me how much you want me." Nines said, eyes heavy as he watched you look at him over your shoulder, bracing your hands on the table as you pushed back against him, trapping his cock between his pelvis and your ass as you bounced up on the balls of your feet, rubbing yourself against his shaft.

"Tell me you want to be mine."

This wasn't part of the mission. Why was he saying these things? Why were his biocomponents tightning— anticipating?

"Yes— I do. I do, please...pleaseplease, Nines."

Well. How could he deny you when you said such pretty things?

He aligned himself to your entrance and with a shaking sigh, sunk into you to the hilt. It was almost unbearably tight, your walls involuntarily spasming, gripping at his girth as you tried to adjust to the suddenness of his size and the feeling of delicious fullness. He took a ragged breath, pulmonary functions seemingly malfunctioning from what he could tell through the haze of his parameters, demanding, ordering he begin his approach.

Nines slipped out only slightly and then, still seated deeply inside you, he thrust forward hard and sudden. The sound of his hips against you was almost as loud as the slap, skin hitting together wetly. You whimpered, the shock of pleasure with just that faint mix of pain was enough to make your heart pound with anticipation for the next thrust. Nines drew back, controlled and methodical as he paused for a little bit longer, throwing you off each time he pounded back in. How he could possibly keep this up without loosing his mind was beyond your comprehension no doubt. Nines could feel your wetness soaking into the fabric at the front of his jeans, so smooth and hot. The parameters flashed in his mind

X CCCCCONtiN##UE P&CE O Faster

Nines gripped your upper arms, holding you down firmly as he snapped his hips forward, that perfect control slipping as he hunched over you, seating himself in as far as he could and then rocking in small tight circles. You broke out into a litany of expletives, your body moving involuntarily as you pushed back into him, moving your hips in pace with him.

"Oh fuck— oh fuckfuckfuck!!"

Your body was so warm, Nines only explanation was that he must have overheated. That was the only logical explanation for how quickly he spilled, spurts of artificial cum coating your insides with unnatural coolness. Your entire body shuddered with the force of your own orgasm, a sudden rush of fluid taking a moment to register in Nines addled mind. He'd made you squirt.

Nines took in a few unneeded breaths, finding it helped stabilize him. He released your arms and drew out carefully, watching the milky substance slip out from inside you. He used the head of his cock to push it back in, letting it drip back out around him. Nines hummed, quickly finding your discarded shirt and using it to clean himself before he tucked his softened cock back into his jeans, buckling his belt and adjusting his jacket..

"Careful." he said, noting you were righting yourself back up on unsteady legs. He pushed you to lean back on the table, using your shirt again as he kneeled down and gently wiped the mess from your legs, noting it had trailed half down your calf. He paused before wiping one trail, casting a quick look up at you before he leaned forward and swiped it up with his tongue. You huffed a laugh, euphoric and tired.

"Don't tell me you want round two already..." you said, Nines considering for a moment before deciding you were too tired for such a thing.

"No." he said, finishing up and moving into your living room where he took a blanket from the back of your sofa and wrapped it around your shoulders.

"You should hydrate and take an anti-inflammatory pain killer. You will be sore tomorrow."

"No shit." you huffed, leaning forward to rest your forehead into Nines' chest. He— did not return the touch, simply letting you use him to prop yourself up. He knew based on his downloads "aftercare" was an important aspect in any dominate, submissive sexual encounter, but part of him felt a bit ill-prepared to offer such "care".

"Get to bed." he said instead, an order that he knew you were not disinclined to follow, "You need to rest."

"You goin' back to DPD?" you said, sitting back up and gingerly covering yourself as you headed towards your bedroom, "Or... do you wanna stay? You don't have to, ya know. You ain't my first hook up, Nines."

That—

"I'll stay." Nines said, shocked at how fast he responded without consulting all his usual parameters.

You nodded, laughing to yourself at a joke he didn't understand as you headed down the dark hall. Nines looked around the room and concluded there was some additional clean up that would need to be done.

He didn't want to even begin thinking about the other maintenance this encounter would cause for him.

[strawberryspeachy]

So on the last day of july i went clubbing

Almost immediately met a cute boy and he asked me to go to a hotel with him. I debated but ultimately went with him. He asked if i wanted to go on a date because fucking japanese assholes equate date with hotel.

Went. Hooked up. Then. He said he wanted to go back to the club because otherwise “it would be a waste of his night”

Yeah

So... went back.... watched him look for another girl. And felt like shit

Eventually a boy that was ok looking talked to me. I didnt ignore him and he got excited over me talking to him after having ignored other boys. I didnt intend to continue talking to him but he was so excited the entire time and was nice so i just stayed with him.

We left together and sat on some sidewalk and talked. I saw that both his arms had cut marks all over them

And as a fucked up person... i stupidly think that other fucked up people will be as empathetic as i try to be and my depressed friends back home

He told me some of his shitty homelife - apparently he doesnt have parents

He asked me to go to a hotel with him and i said no... so we went to eat instead...

He kept being overly nice (in words) told me that he works at an old folks home and that he wants to learn english and come to america and help me take care of my mom.... in a sudden way

Rationally im not stupid and know that was a line. But im pretty stupid in general

He kept asking me to be his gf and i told him id need to go on a date with him to decide that

I just wanted to say no but...

He didnt pay for my meal - ya im one of those girls that that bothers

We seperated and he continued to text my the next few days. We set up a date. He asked me to go to him in yokohama - an hour away from tokyo

Since id never been there i said yes. But this meant i had to pay an expensive train ticket

He did pay for dinner and afterwards convience store for me... mostly... asking if i had change

He wanted to drink at the pier and insisted i get a drink but didnt pay for it

And then took me back to his apartment

It ended up being fun

The next morning while he was showering i was just poking around at his stuff. Not actually looking for anything just curious about the things he has

I looked at his wallet (honestly to see the design but i also always wonder why japanese guys are so comfortable leaving money around who is generally a stranger)

And then. I found. Picture from a photobooth. Him amd soem girl. It was dated from a week before.

He told me the night we met that he broke up with his ex a year ago. But this picture looked very much like a couple

I asked him about it and he just said sorry and threw it in the trash (not a real trash. It could easily be taken out) he said it was from a year ago

After. Bit i took it out amd pointed at the date. He literally hummed and refused to comment ...but he told me hell only see me...

I shouldn’t take that as enough but i did and told him when i got home that ill only se him too. I told him i liked him - and to this point he kept saying he likes me over and over. He has not said it since this. Just said he was happy that i used his name.

After that i went to okinawa for a few days. He told me his sim card broke and he doesnt have wifi unless he goes to a convience store (as an excuse to text slow)

I got back the next week and stayed home all week from a yeast infection that i think he gave me. When he barely responded i told him that

Then he responded continuously telling me that i just got it on my own and hes healthy so it wasnt him

That weekend i went drinking with some friends and messaged him. He responded immediately and i called him. Asking when his phone got fixed. He told me the day before

Then he told me he has pink eye and sent a picture. He said he cant go out of his house because of it

The next week was my birthday. He said hed be cured the day after and we could celebrate. Then he cancelled saying the doc told him hes still contagious

A few days after he sent me a picture of him with makeup on and contacts in saying he went to the salan. I responded immediately asking if he was still contagious and tried to call. He ignored me

I tried to call more throughout the day

Nothing

Over 24 hours pased so i used another account to say hi to him. After 2 hours he responded to the fake account asking who it was

And i flipped the fuck out. I told him a bunch of reasons why he sucked and that he did and fuck him

Then he responded to me with long messages. Many of which i couldnt understand (hes used incorrect kanji before that which makes translation strained)

His excuse was that he felt sick and slept for 20 hours (but he ignored me for over 27)and that he wanted to answer his texts in order. That he doesnt look at him phone much and then got mad at me for not being worried about him and instead getting mad

He didnt addresss any of my complaints like the fact that if im his gf i should be a priority

But because im a sucked i felt bad for trying to hurt him and apologized.... he said hed forgive me if i buy him an accessory next time we hung out...

Yeah. Red flags. I too if i had other options... would have said. Thats a weird way to accept an apology.

Also before (on that first date) when we talked about our bdays cause his was a bit before mine. I asked him what hed wanna do as a late celebration. He immediately told me he wanted yakiniku (an expensive meat meal) and clothes or accessorys from an expensive brand he likes...

So he continued to take over 24 hours to reply to me. With very small responces - he never asks me questions. I asked him to call the night before i went camping and he said he couldnt because he was too drunk from drinking with friends. I went camping and came back and got him on the phone. I demanded him to call and he said he couldnt cause he was tired from work and would the following day

I told him it makes me upset that he doesnt talk to me and that i constantly dont feel good because of him. He just said sorrry. I planned to say this is over if he didnt agree to meet me. But he agreed to a date the coming sunday... the day before i began work again. He said hed come to tokyo and and had a plan. It sounded fun.

Well come sunday morning.... he cancelled. He said he didnt have money. I tried to call him several times and he ignored me.

I confronted him in person. He got mad at me for it. Said he got some sort debt collection and got frauded... someone used his name to take out money and he has to pay court. He said he doesnt have money because of it.

I asked why he never tells me whats going on with him (because im dumb and beleive this... actually i dont. I hope hes being honestly and just has really bad luck but)

This time like last time i told him the way he treats me is how really awful boys who are using me and playing with me treat me. And i cant trust him if hes like this but doesnt tell me why

Well...i was there... i offered to pay for out date.... besides the 11 dollars it takes to get to him

He asked me to put 5 dollars on his train card.... it takes 3 dollads to get to and from where we went. He... mad sure no matter where we would eat it would cost 40 bucks - wanting to drink alc and such. It costed 43 dollars. He wanted starbucks but i kinda said no by saying i dont rlly like starbucks - but he still wanted to get a dessert - 3 dollars

And... he wanted me to buy him that aftermentioned accessory... a ring. He looked at very expensive ones... i... would not have paid for even as stupid as i am.. the one he got was 15 or 25 I forget which...

The thing is... if he wasnt actually... if i wasn’t comfortable being with him i woulda stopped this before... unfortunately. As usual. Despite initially not being attracted to him i really enjoyed his company and find him to be fun...

He said that we should go home at 8 i asked about going back to him place and he said no because hes tired and has work the next day. He knows i also do too. At the same time. And i tried to convince him and he kept saying no. Then i asked doesnt he wanna have sex. He said that we should go to a hotel. And i protested that hotels are expensive and his apartments free and just a cheap train station away. He said hes too tired and just wants to sleep at his apartment but hotels are exciting so hed be awake at a hotel.

He pushed them and i said at that point id be spending like 100 dollars on the day and he knows i also dont have a lot of money.

We awkwardly went to a manga cafe that was only 5 dollars but it wanted you to make a card that costs 5 more dollads. And then i got fussy because too much stress literally makes me lose control of my emotions.

It fucking sucks and i hate it. I have no fucking control over my emotions when my stress is bubbling (which it almost always is) and boils over.

I asked him if he can even pay just the 5 dollars and he said he has no money. I asked how hes gonna get to work with literally no money and he said his conpany pays for it (yea japanese conpanies pay AFTER you go )

We left. It was a bad mood. He didnt storm away from me even though i was basically crying in the street (i have had this happen with even friends. I start crying and they just walk away so even though it should be expected of someone claiming to be your bf... ya)

Anyhow i told him i just wanted to cuddle and talk and kiss

He looked annoyed but i guess he thought those wants were cute and looked for a isolated place

Because were in japan

Couldnt find one cause we were in a city and he again just started saying lets go home. That hes tired and not in the mood.

But we were in a quiet enough play.

And im bitching here but ill take a quick break to say i kept hugging him and stuff which he liked despite saying he was really embarrassed

He told me ealier ok that because of this debt thing hes gonna work two jobs

Which. Terrified me. The first guy I went on a date with in Japan asked me to be his gf and to move in with him and said he had to work two jobs for a month to afford to move so he wouldnt have time to see me. He told me his progress for two weeks and then ghosted me.

This boy told me hell make time to see me when i complained about not doing anything physical when i wouldnt see him again for who knows how long

Welp. Todays saturday and that was sunday. And while at first i thought he was trying because he replied to my messages in or at 24 hours for a few days. Its gone back to the 17 hours

And i asked him to talk on the phone

And he just said not tonight because after his current job hes working at home too

And because im dumb ive waisted my whole saturday waiting for him to reply and crying.

[mayleitz]

The Stalking

Okay so here’s this.

Elliot stalked me for over a year before we dated. The first time I met him, he spoke to me in my discord server right when it was new. He said he did not pledge money to support my videos, he didn’t really watch them or care about them. He supported me so he could have a direct line to talk to me. 

Naturally he started flirting with me and because at the time I was miserable and repressed, I went along with it at first but then told him to stop and to just be my friend. He doesn’t take rejection well so he kept trying and when I felt pushed away by his advances he would get mad at me for being a bad friend. 

This went on for a pretty long time, until he came out as trans. I was super excited for him and because we sorta knew each other and had been around, I forgave him for all the advances that were unwanted because I know trans folk pretransition have a tendency to be a bit like-that. 

And after that I grew to trust him a little bit more even though he really never knew me. But I always needed people to talk to and my resources were limited (the person I was dating at the time didn’t really let me have friends) so I talked to Elliot occasionally. He slowly gained my trust so I slowly opened up to him more and more. He was in some bad relationships, and so was I so we had that in common and could talk about it. 

On the night that I broke up with my then partner, I was suicidal. It was rough. I was trying to please them for so long that I just...didn’t honestly remember what doing anything for myself was like. I felt so backed into a corner. So I called Elliot.

We started to have a closer friendship where we would talk on the phone for hours at a time. I exclusively wanted to be his friend and he was constantly pining after me from this point on. He told me that he viewed YouTube like a dating site and that each channel was like a dating profile. He said he had dated multiple YouTubers and had dirt on all of them and planned to one day post some call-out thingy about all of them. I didn’t know the people in question so I didn’t question it much. But this was absolutely a through-line to our relationship. He viewed youtubers as possessions that he wanted to have. And god did he want to have me. 

It started really simply with telling me he was in love with me. He kept telling me and one day I said it back. Like...I love you, as a friend, who is into women. I had to constantly remind him that I was a lesbian and I was only interested in women. I had never really gotten a chance to experience that as myself and that was exclusively what I wanted.

Anyways so he started sending me unsolicited nudes. Usually when drunk but he did it a whole bunch of times. He would call me at parties and orgies he was at, sometimes while high on hardcore drugs or exceptionally drunk and he would say things like: “I’m gonna come visit you and we’re gonna have sex.” “May, are we gonna have sex when we’re together?” “God I want to fuck you.” and so on. 

And so I told him to stop because I was uncomfortable and I did not want any of it. It was all explicitly against my consent. And because I didn’t know what to do, I wouldn’t hang up so he just started passing the phone around to all his friends. One of them told me he wanted to blow me and I got so skeeved out that I tried to end the call. 

But then when I told Elliot I wouldn’t be having sex with him and I would like him to stop, he turned his attention a bit towards: “Just kiss me then.” “We have to kiss.” “There’s no way I’m not gonna kiss you.”

Which wasn’t a lot better.

The next day I was super angry. I told him I was tired of him sexualizing me without my consent. He got really upset and distant and I was worried that I would lose, in essence, my only friend, so I let him off the hook and said it wasn’t a big deal and I still cared about him. So he just started right up again. This happened multiple times a week.

He demanded to come to visit me but I was uncomfortable with that. My apartment was sorta my private space where I could transition in peace and be left alone. I didn’t want to bring a man into that space. Like ever. It was sacred to me. 

But he persisted so much that I finally said okay. He immediately got a plane ticket and oops now it had to happen. I was terrified. 

I felt a lot better when he got here because he wasn’t like most guys I’d known, at first. He was sweet and fun and funny and sure, he said a lot of off-color things but I mostly ignored whatever red flags were around. He asked if he could kiss me one night and I gave in and was like...well alright. He kissed me violently hard. With no kindness or gentleness. It felt like an attack. It was in my car and I had no real place to go so I just awkward looked around and waited for it to be over. 

But after that, I could sense that he wanted it to be more romantic that just friend stuff and so I held his hand and at one point I told him we were on a date and stuff to make him feel good and loved. It was clear that he was really happy and I wanted that more than anything. 

But then things started to get more serious and scary and my inability to say no to him made everything so much harder. It kept getting harder and harder to say no even though I knew this was not what I wanted. This person basically stalked me, sexually harassed me and treated me like an object of desire for over a year and somehow I was afraid to hurt his feelings. 

We got a tattoo together. It was my first tattoo and I was really nervous and scared and he held my hand and was very warm to me and I thought about how alone I would soon be again when he left but I was hesitating because I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him. 

By this point, he got his way and we had had sex. I didn’t want to but I knew it was what he wanted so I did my best to power through my feelings. I even tried to be really into it so I could convince myself that what was happening was okay. 

I told him I didn’t really want him to go and that I would miss him and I loved him and stuff but inside I was relieved when he was leaving. I wanted my privacy and my space and I wanted some distance. Things were fucking hard with him around and I needed to get back to work on myself. The whole week that he was here he joked about just never leaving. Like, just randomly staying here with me and dating me and stuff. Of course, again I was a lesbian and he knew this. But like...me not rejecting his advances made him believe that I was actually into guys and more specifically him and I wanted it too. 

So on the day when he was set to leave, he didn’t really pack or get anything ready because he had his mind made up. Part of me wonders if this was the plan from the start, I don’t know. But he basically announced that he was staying. The whole situation was so stressful and surreal that I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to unravel the threads and say ‘no, I’m still a lesbian, we’re still not dating and I still want to be here alone.’ so instead I was like ‘okay whatever,’ and went to take a shower. While I was in the shower he posted about it on facebook instead of telling anyone directly and then he abandoned his partner, all his friends, his family and everyone from his home. 

The first week it was exhausting but so surreal that he was living here that things seemed alright. The limited solace I had was my job at the mall where I could be aware and get some clarity. I tried to tell him that staying with me was only temporary and he could just move back when he was ready. I tried to help him get a job so he could pull his own weight (he didn’t I paid for everything. Even when he had a job, he mostly blew his money on meaningless stuff instead of helping me.)

It was a disaster and I was trapped. He constantly joked about cancelling me if we ever broke up, he constantly joked about tweeting out the ‘n-word’ on my account and ending my career. He constantly joked about publicly shaming me. When we were with friends, he would publicly shame me and when I started doing it back, he got really hurt so I stopped and just let him do it to me.

There’s so much more but my hands are tired. Not like it will make a difference. He’s a liar. He’s a fucking liar and manipulator. He is a sex pest. He repeatedly fucked me until I was bleeding and then we turn around and do it all again moments after I told him he needed to stop. He would tie me up and ridicule me. He demanded that I do that to him as well and I did only twice. The first time triggered my DID and my alter just wanted to kill herself. It scared me to fucking death. It scared me so bad that it happened that I could barely sleep and of course he used that as part of his call out. 

He openly tweeted about my ptsd and DID and used that to say I was a bad person when what I was every moment we were together was scared. Lina too. These people overran my life. They took over leaving me nearly no control. I was scared to death that they were going to hurt me and when I finally distanced myself from them and went off to have the life I actually wanted from the start, they took my career from me.

Since they tweeted about me being ‘an abuser’ I have lost over 1000 followers on twitter, 3000 subscribers and $600 on Patreon. I can barely pay for my life and they put that in jeopardy. I had a small savings for surgery that is now gone. I am still losing things every single fucking day. I’ve lost countless friends. No one checked on me or listened to what happened to me. I had to beckon the limited friends that would hear me, to tell them what happened. And naturally every time I post or say or do anything about this, I get an influx of people telling me I’m a liar and I’m actually the problem. Elliot’s friends from Washington have all tweeted threads about how I’m actually bad, but the truth is, I liked all of them. They were all super kind to me and I tried my best to be a good partner to Elliot in their eyes. 

The point is, I’m afraid to say any of this because I know for a fact they will retaliate. I don’t want that. I don’t want to deal with any back and forth or anything. I just want to return to my life and I’d like to stop losing everything and I’d like to be left the fuck alone. Every day since that post came out, I have had to explain myself to hundreds of people. It’s exhausting and enough is enough. I wasn’t going to say anything because I didn’t want to hurt Elliot or Lina. I still don’t. Give them their privacy and please respect mine. 

May

[cutebutstillsingle]

REASONS WHY YOU’RE STILL SINGLE: BECAUSE YOU’RE DATING A NARCISSIST, PART 2 (examples from my “entertained a narcissist” situationship)

                          ...............................................................

Sadly it might have to be one of those horrible experiential learning kinds of situations where you can’t “know” what I’m talking about until you live through it.  But hopefully you catch any narcissistic and inappropriate behavior before it annihilates your spirit completely, and before it starts permanently making you doubt and question your own sound judgement and amazing qualities.  The less you tolerate narcissistic behavior, the better you fare.  

I’m gonna be vulnerable and admit that never in my wildest imagination of knowing myself, would ever think that I, of all people, could get emotionally manipulated by narcissistic behavior.  I like to consider myself a “no bullshit” kind of person.    Either way, I feel like I did take some narc bullets that still have me shook to this day as I learn more and more about myself and do the work of running through that relationship to learn from it.  

Here are 10 real life examples of red flags that I allowed to permanently enter my memory bank, because the chemistry and similarities between me and this dude seemed so unbelievable that I wasn’t thinking clearly.  I’m grateful to God that I still managed to picked up on some of the yellow lights and red flags.  When I dumped him, I literally had to tell myself “do it now, or you’re going to lose your nerve”.  I genuinely believe that was the holy spirit speaking to me.  Because on my own strength I would have stayed in, and what I have gained by parting ways is priceless in getting to know and love myself more.   

CLUE 1= He was still fully in touch wit his ex wife, and would openly  talk about being in touch with her.  At some points he even said he still loved her, despite saying that he loved me within one month of meeting me.  But I was that stupid and I ignored it.  In reality, a man should not be in touch with any past partners whatsoever unless he has kids with them.  And no one should say “I love you” to a complete stranger they just met a month ago, and then turn back around and also say they still love their ex-wife. Also, pay attention: EX wife.  There’s a reason they did not last. And it may have been him.  

CLUE  2= He started disclosing way too much about himself to me, a complete stranger that he had only known for about a month.  I now realize this was on purpose to make me feel like it was a “safe” space to disclose way the eff too much about myself way too soon.  Ladies, pay attention please. Nobody should be revealing classified information about your life to anyone who you have known for less than six months.  You should only be telling your most intense personal information to people who know you the absolute BEST, and who have made it into your inner circle after proving their trustworthiness to know your secrets, keep them, and never use them against you. 

CLUE 3= Whenever I would talk about things that excited and interested me, he would rapidly shut them down, make me feel dumb for being excited by my interests.  I was reading a David Goggins book and he tried so hard to shit on David Goggin’s accomplishments saying anyone could do Navy Seal swimming drills.  He also tried to accuse me of being sexually attracted to David Goggins (David Goggins is of neutral attraction to me, TBH.  One has to imagine David Goggins is not terrible in bed if he approaches sexuality with the same approach he uses for the rest of his life endeavors, lololol.  But that shouldn’t make anyone you date feel that insecure).  If I was excited by learning yoga inversions, he would say he did gymnastics for years as a kid and it’s not that big of a deal. If I said I wanted to learn to bake better cookies, he would say his aunt and mom were the best cookie bakers in the world.  After I baked a kick ass batch of chocolate chip cookies because he said he loved sweets, he wouldn’t even try one.  A narcissist will work hard to make you feel like you can’t ever be worthy or good enough.

CLUE 4= He refused to ever meet any of my friends. And I think this is because he refused to see me in an empowered state where other genuinely kind and awesome people were drawn to me just for being my kind and awesome self.  Weirdly, I had met all his friends and family within a month of knowing him.  

CLUE 5= He would repeatedly say that most people were dumb and sheep-like. Again, with this need to put others down.  

CLUE 6= He actively hated on complete strangers and nearly all of his family members.  Road rage with insults was a common occurrence.  

CLUE 8= He had a history of severe alcohol and substance addiction and abuse. His version of it was “I am in recovery and have been sober for X number of years.  I was arrested in the past for a DUI,  and that was the point that turned it all around and I knew I had to get sober.  I got myself sober with no help”.  

Well the truth was he was NOT completely sober-- he was still a hardcore pothead, and he still drank NA beers on the regular that tasted just like beer because they are beer.   I later ended up background checking him when I was learning how to use background check websites as research for this blog (which I’ll discuss in a future post); and uh... his history was WAY worse than he made it seem.  People with substance addiction issues are often narcissistic. The two often go hand in hand.  

CLUE 7= He once told me that during an argument with his brother and family, his brother said I was ugly. A solid BF would never pass on any indirect insults to his GF. I have a feeling that this was never true, TBH.   Steve Harvey has said in his book “Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man” that if a man truly loves a woman, he will protect her.  And that includes protecting her from anything negative anyone says about her.  If there’s one thing I know about me, I’m in “the pretty girls club”.  Not to sound conceited because looks aren’t everything and we will all end up old, gray, and wrinkled one day.  But I come from a family line of historically gorgeous women; and I have been a competitive and paid professional Tahitian dancer since I was 13.  Google “Tahitian dance Competition” or “Heiva i Tahiti” if you want to see what gorgeous women look like.   But the point is, to this day, that comment began to erode my self-esteem.

CLUE 8= At other times he unleashed passive aggressive insults such as “I can’t deal with your apparent relationship insecurities”-- I called him on this immediately.  And mind you, this line was how he responded when I asked him to join me at a BBQ invite with some of my friends, and I was disappointed when he said no.  

CLUE 9= he was arrogant.  Never did he fail to boast about all his accomplishments, skills, and intelligence.  He also had a lot of grandiose ideas.  

CLUE 10= when I dumped him, he immediately responded by calling me a “train wreck” and a “bitch”.  At no point was there a “wait.. what?  Please don’t do this.  We need to talk, I’m calling you/ I’m coming over, I still want to be with you”.  I’m not kidding in the least when I say his immediate response was “I dodged a major train wreck. Good luck bitch, you gonna need it.  

Well, good luck, narcissists of the world, you gonna need it.  Because narcissists and narcissistic behavior are the real train wrecks we all need to learn to avoid if we want to date successfully.

[drennalynspast]

[ Online Relationships ]

Monday, Oct. 07, 2013

I’m going to recap several gaps in my life in which I haven’t focused a particular topic on. Online relationships have transformed me in a way in which I couldn’t have imagined. There are a lot of positive aspects as well as negative aspects to it. I used online relationships as a form of escapism from reality. It granted me immediate feedback, gratification and attention if I was lonely, stressed, and needed someone there.  The art of communicating with written words is something that helped me express myself more in depth and allow myself to be more open to the other online people.

t’s has been noted that my online friendships with people have lasted for several weeks, some several months, and others that lasted a year.  That feeling of greeting someone in the morning with an msn text and then closing an msn text before going to bed was a warm, cozy, reassuring feeling.  When I feel more open to someone, I feel comfortable around them and have some sort of emotional connection with that person.  A lot of my online friends were males. I could easily talk to them.  I will admit, a lot of it had to do with some sort of personal validation and being flattered from the praise and attention I received. 

Some of these friendships at first seemed like platonic friendships. Eventually it got to that point where I felt like I appreciated them more and wished to see them in person. I became jealous when I found out that they eventually got a girlfriend or wife.  At some points, I became confused if they just saw me as a friend or something more than a friend.  

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Thunder was my first online friend. We randomly became friends through a social networking site that my Indian friends introduced me to [the site].  He added me thinking I was 18+, but I lied about my age, and I was like 16-17 lolol.  He does some sort of computer graphic design or drawing tutorial work. He was kinda disappointed I was young, but we were just friends. Eventually I got older and was shocked he eventually found a wife from his workplace. I had no idea he was seeing anyone. We met each other in person once before he and his wife left to move to California. He and his wife were pleasant to be around. It was a positive meeting experience.  After he moved, we gradually communicated less and less. He divorced his wife. We remain FB friends.

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I met “J” through my sister. He was an admin on an anime forum. He basically helped give me emotional support through my struggles in freshman year in college while I battled loneliness and adjustment. He eventually found better employment somewhere and married a woman. Our communication dissipated quite a bit. Those phases of friendships come and go.

Being a part of that anime forum lead me to connect with a lot of other online people out there. Everyone was fairly around the same age, young and clueless about life with no obligations. I easily rose to awareness and attention by being sisters with a former moderator.  I posted my picture, and a lot of the male users complimented me and wanted to get to know me more.  One of those people stood out to me as far as being an amusing friend goes. And here I embarked on some sort of journey with Tom. 

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He was rather notorious on the forums, a bigshot member who posted frequently and was able to instill humor and witty jokes here and there.  I was impressed by his boldness and charisma.  We started out as friends. He became jealous of me when I went through that FWB phase with Dave. Eventually it lead to me being more than friends after a while. I clung to Tom when the whole Dave friendship failed. I just wanted someone to care about me and be there for me emotionally.  I wanted some substance. I wanted to have a boyfriend. I felt like I could be a “good girl” and hold off on sex. I didn't want to be a slutty girl who slept around with a lot of men, so I used this online relationship as some justification for me to force me to be more pure.

 I’ll also note that I was a stupid, naive, dumb girl who fucking webcammed for this guy when I didn’t have a fucking clue what he looked like. I just wanted attention and the shit. I wanted someone to revere in my body and appearance.

It’s always exciting and interesting discovering and talking to new people. You become flattered at the person they seemingly are. You see how amazing and confident they are.  As you get to know them more, you discover the darker side of the person. And that is what happened.

We would have minor arguments here and there that eventually did resolve.  It was an emotional struggle, but sometimes the arguments made us feel closer after the resolution. He had several red flags that I should have paid attention to. He was controlling, he was socially withdrawn from other people, he had no close real friends who he maintained a consistent communication with, he was antisocial in the real world, he also would talk about physical workout regimens but he was always reluctant showing pictures or videos of him.  But somehow despite all that shit, I was somehow convinced otherwise that he is a good and caring person that was genuinely caring about me.  That’s what I wanted right, someone to care about me?  

I had to go through a ton of bullshit with him. I was frustrated about how I was the only one who cammed, and I couldn’t even see or hear shit from his side. He made fucking excuses where he was unable to cam or talk on phone more often.  Typing this entry is also making me feel angry and disgusted as shit.  

It was like a 3 and a half year pseuedo relationship.  We messaged each other online everyday, getting into a routine of “hi, how are you etc”. And then we complain about random stuff to each other. It got to a point where I was all, “hi, when are we going to meet?”  I finally had an apartment, but he had issues with finances, no car, still living with parents.  I felt awkward if I had to drive there to meet him first. I shouldn’t be the one to go there and fucking meet him first anyway.  I already did my part by camming to him the first time. What a bastard.

Anyway, I felt like I was struggling. I told him that we shouldn’t label ourselves as BF/GF anymore. We are just friends. He took it with some difficulty, but agreed. Eventually we phased out the *kiss* in our closing statements at bedtime. Even as just friends, I felt all weird and smothered by him. It was an unfulfilling friendship that didn’t seem to be going anywhere.  I was also talking to an online guy (MMO) dude that I probably wrote an entry in a couple months back.  That MMO guy bailed out on me and didn’t seem interested in maintaining friendship with me.  MMO guy lived in Oklahoma, and I wanted to meet him too. 

Whenever I saw the new pics that Tom finally decided to show me, I was pissed and disappointed. I guess I was lying to myself thinking that he would somehow miraculously drastically change his appearance from the old 2006 photo that he showed me first.  He was sort of slightly overweight and his facial expression was that of apathy, boredness, blankness, no smile.   It was like the way he described himself in words was that of a lie compared to his actual appearance. I was lied to in a way, or deceived, or I just tried to ignore shit in the beginning and have some sort of blind hope it wasn’t true. 

I tried to give him a chance, but I suppose the physical aspect became a point to where it was starting to be more of a turn off.  I also just felt bored of him. There was nothing new in his life. He didn’t seem to have any goals or passion in his life for anything.

So yeah, throughout all this, I’m so fucking sexually frustrated and deprived  a 3 year dry spell.  I hate this idea of being faithful or devoted to someone who would never be there for me in person. There’s always that talk of someday we will meet, just wait, it will happen.  3 years of this talk and still nothing happened. I got that emotional support and attention, but I realized that I needed both- physical and emotional needs met.  It was time to say, G’bye. 

 And that’s when I met Andy in January.Tom was pissed I met Andy and just.. had sex with him on the first date.  It was unexpected and he felt like he was betrayed. But I told him, we aren’t even BF/GF anymore, no need to be worried. Somehow he felt like he had some sort of entitlement. 

I probably could have. Should have? Given him some warning as far as “hey, I’m talking to this guy and am going to go on a date with him”. kind of thing.  I probably treated him like shit. But there wasn’t any obligated rule for me to be devoted or faithful.  I don’t want to be held back. I want to do what I want. In some way, I may have used Andy as far as trying to make a stepping stone to get away from Tom. I needed to cut the strings off and tie off any lose ends. 

Tom and I discussed things further. He eventually understood what I was going through and agreed to give me space. He wanted to still see me. He wanted to still be my friend. I still felt constricted and smothered. I kept him on FB, but I wasn’t going to go on MSN anymore. He made several comments on my FB activity and feeds. I was beginning to get annoyed and pissed off at his slight actions that weren’t trying to be harmful or intimidate me.  He still tried to cling to me sometimes sending a random mail once a couple of months or weeks of self reflection.  Of course I would respond back in some manner. I told him I didn’t want to be angry all the time whenever he tried to post stuff to me. I told him that I was going to remove him from my friends list and block him.  We still have each other’s email if he wishes to contact me randomly.

I wonder if this is all considered running away.  But I feel better about myself. I feel like I can focus on myself in the real present world.  I am more away from being glued to the internet.  I appreciate Tom’s friendship and care about me. I did care about him more too at some point.  I learned several things about myself throughout the whole process. One lesson I learned was to never do online relationships again or even online friendships for that matter too.

There is so much to do and experience in the real world: meet and hang out with local people, go to places and engage in fun activities, eat with people and share stories with people in real time. Seeing their smile, seeing their humorous antics in person, and also feeling their touch in person is something that words on a screen simply cannot replicate.

After having my first boyfriend/real relationship, I felt like those 3 years talking to Tom I was missing out on a lot of things.  Even though I feel shitty about being sucked into that 3 year confusion and mess, it was still a valuable experience. I sometimes look back and imagine the pain and sadness I have inflicted on Tom. I gave him false hope and crushed his hope and anticipation.  At the same time, I need to worry about and focus on myself more.  Sometimes we all need a harsh reality check about life.

[calleo-bricriu]

Hey there! I just found you and honestly your readings are soooo coool, may I have one about my future love life too? Will I meet someone and how will they be? Possible star sign? AND ALSO PLEASE THIS IS IMPORTANT : when i first made the sorting hat Test I was a Ravenclaw but after a couple years it started changing to gryffndor and then back to ravenclaw and I’m having the biggest identity crisis.. can you help me on this? What house am I? Hope this is not to much..if it is just ignore me haha

Oh also i don’t know if you need this but I’m 23 male and a libra! Btw I don’t see a sign that reading are open on your blog and got a bit ahead of myself so if they’re closed right now I’m very sorry, I mean no offense! Thank you anyways and have a great day! :)

Oh, I just do these for fun.

That said, your house is not an identity nor is it any sort of useful personality trait; once you're not at school any longer it's 100% irrelevant.

Star signs are also not a personality trait nor are they relevant to any aspect of your life (that's just something people use to try and excuse poor behaviour on their part; you didn't do the thing because you're a Gemini or a Scorpio or an Ares or any other sign, you did it because you were being inconsiderate and not thinking your actions or words through; you're not incompatible with someone because of their sign either, you're incompatible with them due to basic personality conflicts or conflicting wants/needs out of a relationship), they're just little tidbits of facts and have no actual influence or impact on anything.

If you're referring to 'quizzes' that tell you what house you ought to be in, I'd invite you to read up on confirmation bias. That applies to thinking you're a certain way because of your star sign; confirmation bias will give you that truth because you want it to be the truth,

Those are designed to be easily manipulated to give the answers the person taking them wants based on their mood at the time; I can guarantee you I could take any one and get a different result based on my mood at the time of taking them.

Do not base any part of your identity around a house at a school or your zodiac sign, it doesn't make you somehow more interesting or desirable; if anything, it's a red flag that indicates you aren't willing or capable of taking responsibility for your own actions or reactions.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is probably getting paid to tell you otherwise.

Remember: If you're paying them, they'll want to keep you as a repeat customer and will likely tell you what they know you want to hear.

In this case, what you want to hear is that you'll meet your soulmate soon and that you're definitely Ravenclaw.

I doubt the latter given your belief that it matters in the slightest and, as I'm not getting paid, I couldn't possibly care less whether or not you'll meet someone, what they'll be like, or their star sign (which is, of course, completely irrelevant).

Just to give an example, from what you said in these I already know several things about you and, were you paying me, would be able to easily tailor a reading to play into exactly what you want to hear.

Things that were made clear by information you voluntarily offered:

- You're a bit on the insecure side. - You're a bit immature, which is indicated clearly by you being well beyond school age and borderline obsessing over your house. - You're single, obviously. - And you don't want to be.

Cards weren't necessary to give me that information, you offered it up freely, and when you're paying someone, they will absolutely tell you what you want to hear to keep you coming back as a customer.

Be extremely wary of people who make you pay to do tarot/rune/other readings; they take seconds to do and, with the information provided the customer, are extremely low effort.

At least, they are for me.

Similarly, be wary of anyone who wants you to pay for them to perform a spell or ritual for you; it likely won't do anything at all beyond a placebo effect as the rituals/spells they offer are things that you need to do yourself if you want them to benefit you and not the one casting them.

That, and if you're trying to put something negative out there, most will know how to rework it so any negative consequences they might get hit with for doing that sort of thing hit you and not them.

At any rate, the way this deck often prattles on, it spends the first few cards confirming who we're talking about, and that's what it's done here.

I was right in that little list.

You're insecure, likely have abandonment issues due to past relationships (romantic, platonic, familial, or otherwise), have a hard time trusting people, have a tendency to be overly dramatic which can and will drive people away eventually, if you have had relationships in the past you're either not over them or are still damaged from how they ended and haven't taken steps to heal and move on, and that, where relationships are concerned while you can be exciting and spontaneous, you can also be incredibly fickle and very likely aren't at a place in terms of mental health or maturity to handle a commitment.

This is where it starts to bridge out into what you asked and it starts, where the Fool left off in the paragraph above, by indicating that, for the time being, all you're likely to find are what amounts to whirlwind romances that don't last all that long.

The Nine of Wands backs that up in terms of future romance, and also goes back to mentioning that you need to deal with all of those issues above before anyone is going to be able to put up with you long term.

Six of Cups typically revolves around immaturity and occasionally an ex or someone you had wanted to have a relationship with coming back into your life.

Three of Cups backs up that, "Someone from your past returning" or a dry spell, as it were, ending.

You'll need to start working on your issues if you want anything to last, however.

Hm. The deck doesn't seem to want to move on, it's repeating itself in the sense of, "Fix your issues, even the ones you're in denial about or don't want to face." That includes fear of rejection (that would be the Two of Swords in this case).

While the Two of Cups does indicate you'll meet someone with whom you have a strong connection and mutual attraction, cards in a reading are not islands; the cards around them matter, and all of the previous cards to this one were very, very clear in that you need to get yourself together, likely via professional means, before even the most attracted to you person is going to be able to tolerate the level of insecurity, drama, and baggage you'll also bring to the table.

This isn't, "you need to love yourself" nonsense, it's, "you need to deal with your mental health, your tendency to be overly dramatic where no drama is necessary, and self esteem issues so you're on relatively stable ground."

The Ace of Wands following the Two of Cups is a fairly blunt statement to forget any fear of rejection and let the other person know you're interested. If you sit around waiting for someone to just turn up for you, you're probably going to be waiting for a very long time as reality just doesn't work that way very often.

And it's finally moved on to the second bit you were asking about: What that person will be like.

Unfortunately for you, the old proverb "in cauda venenum" applies to this person. They'll initially come off as generous, completely devoted, doting, giving you everything you could possibly want. They'll give you all the support, stability, and positive influence you could ever ask for.

...and then they'll either get bored or get tired of having to play the part of your partner and therapist (see everything above) and leave. The  Five of Swords also has heavy connotations around abuse so it's equally possible that they were never the kind, loving person they let you think they were until they knew they had their claws firmly into you and, once they know you're too wrapped around their finger to ever leave, they'll start with slow, subtle abuse, gaslighting, making you feel like they're the only one who will ever love you, etc...of course, to the public, they'll be a loving, kind martyr who puts up with what they'll tell others is YOUR poor behaviour because they love you that much, all of which can eventually lead to physical abuse, especially if they get the feeling that you're going to try and leave.

Whichever it is, the Five of Swords in terms of relationships is never a good thing.

The star sign of this person is irrelevant, but one typically sees behaviour like that in people who take star signs far too seriously and are also Gemini, Scorpio, literally any fire sign, and Libra.

All in all,  you need to work on yourself before you start jumping into relationships in any serious capacity. If you're not already getting professional mental health help that includes therapy, start as soon as possible.

As for the House thing, again, it's entirely irrelevant, you're 23, you've not been school age for some time now. Absolutely and literally nobody cares what your house is past the time you left school. It has no bearing on identity.

Ordinarily, I'd be able to tell you that based on the deck's description of you but there is no house that has an encompassing trait of, "complete mess", so I'll see if it'll give me a little more clarity.

...and it's given me a muddled mess of repeating itself but under the pervasive traits that keep getting repeated throughout the last--however many cards I've drawn now--a recurring theme, though usually in the negative sense of holding on to things that should have been long since let go and moved on from, is loyalty to those you choose to be loyal to even when it becomes self-destructive, and hard work, primarily to avoid having to let go. Keep in mind that any positive trait can easily turn dark, as it were, when misapplied or taken to the level of obsession.

That would indicate Hufflepuff but, let's see if I can get the deck to stop twisting the knife as we've already been over enough of that.

Devoted, compassionate, caring, generous, with the Wheel and Two of Pentacles indicating that this isn't the answer you wanted, which I also could have told you because you seemed hellbent on hearing Ravenclaw or Gryffindor.

While the Page of Swords has some brief flashes of Ravenclaw traits (inquisitive, curious, etc...) as before, cards do not stand on their own in a reading and nearly everyone has those fairly generic traits.

It moves on going back to more traits that point toward Hufflepuff: Down to earth, sensible in general, a nurturing/caretaker type, loyalty, being able to easily make people feel welcome.

The Queen of Swords backs that up in both traits along the lines of being empathetic, welcoming, fair, and, when representing a person, an air sign.

Libra, as I'm sure you know, is an air sign.

Sounds like Hufflepuff to me.

[littlelovelyspiderling]

Doc Oc

This has been stuck in my brain so I had to write it...sorry for not answering a lot of requests, I promise to get to them soon!! (also if you want to be tagged on my writing stuff just let me know!)

Peter is captured by Doctor Octopus. While trying to get the young hero to talk, the evil scientists learns a few interesting facts about New York’s friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. 

word count: 4,100

Peter had faced Doc Oc plenty of times before, but never four nights in a row. He was in the middle of a much-needed nap when the psycho eight-limbed scientist suddenly popped up on the news again, terrorizing the citizens of downtown Queens again, and demanding an audience with Spider-Man—again. This guy would not give him a break. Peter had bested him four times, but four times he had slipped from his and the police’s grasp. On top of early school days, mounds of homework, and a slew of new Avengers missions, it was really wearing him down. Peter groaned, threw on his spandex suit, and begrudgingly swung out to the scene, blinking the sleepiness from his eyes.

Doctor Octopus chucked a car down the street, narrowly missing a group of terrified bystanders. His metal arms spit sparks across the pavement with every massive step.

“Bring me Spider-Man!” he cried, laughing maniacally. Spider-Man flipped off a building and on to a streetlamp, stifling a yawn.

“Alright, alright, I’m here, freak show.” Doc Oc turned on him, grinning fiendishly. Peter scrubbed a hand over his face. “Seriously man, how many times are we gonna do this? Can’t you just go to jail already? Or take a day off? Start a new Netflix series maybe? I’ve heard Nailed It is stellar. Or, I don’t know, do something more constructive with your time besides dragging a very grumpy superhero out of bed every night to whoop your ass for the millionth time this week?”

“Do not fret, arachnid,” Octavius assured him, rising high on his mechanical limbs. “This ends tonight.”

“Yeah, well, that’s what you said yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that, so don’t mind me as I continue to fret most ardent—ah!”

A tentacle swung at him, whooshing beneath his feet as he leapt over it. Spider-Man whipped around the light post and dropped to the ground, landing low to the asphalt. Not even a second later, another arm came flying for his face. He rolled this time, the clawed hand barely nicking his shoulder as it whipped overhead. The sharp sting made him hiss. He sprung on to the side of a building and fired a glob of webbing mid-leap, but it missed the evil doctor by a mile. His movements felt sluggish, uncoordinated. Oh crap. The consequences of three nights without proper sleep were really starting to take their toll—and it was not cheap.

He shook his head, fighting to clear the fog from his brain, but it refused to dissipate. His muscles, too, felt tired and limp. Spider-Man ran along the side of the building and threw himself at Octavius, fist wound back, teeth gritted, only to get knocked sideways and thrown into a wall. His head hit first, sending a jolt rattling through his skull. He slumped to the ground, jarred and dazed, the fog creeping into the edges of his vision. A shadow loomed over him, smiling like the grim reaper coming to claim his soul.

“My, my, Spider-Man. One hit, and you’re already out for the count? I expected better from you.”

“You…planned this,” Peter realized, staggering to his feet. “Drawing me out late every night…never letting me rest.” His eyes felt heavy in his head. All he wanted was to sleep. The world was spinning like a carousel. “Y-you…son of a—”

A tentacle whacked him on the temple. Spider-Man was out before he hit the ground.

Light was what finally woke him. Harsh, white, aimed directly in his eyes. He blinked and squinted, groaning in protest, scrunching up his nose and furrowing his brow.

“Took you long enough,” a familiar voiced groused. “I was almost worried I had rendered you comatose.”

The light moved away. Hesitantly, he opened his eyes, letting himself take in the room. Doc Oc was standing in front of him, looking irritated. Gradually, his brain switched back on, and the situation dawned on him. Oh no. Oh god. He…he had been kidnapped. By Doctor frickin' Octopus. That was red flag number one.

Next, Peter gazed around, noting the boring gray walls and strange equipment lining the tables. It seemed he was in some sort of lab, the dark and clammy and evil secret lair type. Red flag number two.

Red flag number three came when he tried to move. Because, well, he couldn’t. Peter looked down and discovered he was suspended upright on a large metal board in the shape of an ‘X’. His arms and legs were pinned to the board by thick metal clasps, thicker than the width of his wrists. The realization launched his heart into his throat. Spider-Man was captured and restrained. By his absolute worst nemesis. A man who spent more time plotting to murder him than most normal people spent working a day job. Terror welled like lava in his stomach. Peter couldn’t stop himself from immediately trying to wrench free. He knew he looked pathetic, weak, desperate, but he hated the feeling of being trapped. And he was dead if he didn't escape.

Yet try as he might, the bonds were too strong. Doctor Octopus chuckled.

“Valiant efforts, arachnid. But I’m afraid you’ve been caught. Not even the Hulk could break those restraints. No use wasting your energy on so hopeless a feat.”

Eventually, Peter stopped struggling, gasping in frustration. “L-let me go,” he growled. He cursed the tremble in his voice.

“I’ve spent this entire week orchestrating your capture, and then I’ve had to sit here waiting for you to wake up for the past twelve hours. I’ll pass, thanks.”

Spider-Man swallowed. I’ve been asleep for twelve hours? At least he’d gained back some of the rest he’d lost. His newfound alertness and the lack of pain in his skull seemed to confirm Doc’s claim. Still, what good did that do for him now? He lowered his head, fear throbbing through his system in sync with his rapid heartbeat. Peter Parker was totally and utterly screwed.

“What do you want? Why haven’t you just killed me?”

“Curious how all your childish quips dry up so quickly once you find yourself beat,” Octavius sneered, approaching him. Peter pressed as close to the metal ‘X’ as he could, unable to back away. “I like seeing this side of you. Helpless, trapped, too terrified to even crack your pathetic little jokes. Completely at my will and mercy. Why, I could slice open your gut and let your entrails spill across the floor, and all you could is watch. Isn’t this exciting?”

His breaths came out in choppy huffs. He pulled ferociously at his bonds. They didn’t budge.

Peter Parker was on his deathbed. That was certain. But Spider-Man couldn't let him win. Not yet.

“Very exciting,” Peter eventually agreed, slumping against the boards, forcing his voice to level out. “I’ve, uh—I’ve always wanted to know if my third grade science teacher has been right all these years—that I’m perfect both inside and out.”

The side of Doc Oc’s mouth twitched. “Hm. The comedian returns. Amusing.” He rose up on two of his metal limbs to stand eye-level with Spider-Man. “But trust me, arachnid: he won’t last long.”

Peter waited for him to stab him, strike him, skewer him like a shish kabob. Instead, the evil scientist turned away, meandering up to a table across the room. Peter breathed a slow sigh of relief.

“And to answer your earlier questions, I was paid a handsome sum of cash to capture you from a person I’d best not name. Quite a handsome sum, enough to fund my research for years. Half up front, and the next half once I hand you over to him.” He sifted through the tools on the table, examining each one with delicate and ominous interest. Peter watched, fear shivering across his skin. “But this person is not expecting your presence until tomorrow morning, which gives me plenty of time to ask you some of my burning questions, and to pull the truth out of you using a few…persuasion methods.”

Mr. Stark had warned him that this might happen some day. The more he tried to protect the world, the more powerful the enemies that would rise against him. Nearly all of the Avengers had been in this position at some point in their career. Now it was his turn to be strong. Spider-Man summoned all the courage he could muster up from within his little body.

“Sorry, but your bedside manners suck, Doc. I’m not telling you anything.”

Doctor Octopus lifted a drill-like contraption from the table, a sinister grin on his lips. “We shall see how stubborn your resolve is after I tear the muscle from your bones fiber by individual fi—”

The ring of a cell phone interrupted him, causing both Peter and Otto to jump. Octavius grumbled to himself, yanking the phone from his pocket, and frowned at the screen before answering.

“Hello?” he snapped, then immediately sobered up. “Oh, um, hello sir. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you. Yes, yesterday evening. The plan worked marvelously.”

“Who’s that?” Peter asked. Doctor Octopus ignored him.

“Yes, of course. I’ll have him to you tomorrow. Where’s he now? Here, in my lab, preparing to face the interrogation of a lifetime.”

Doc Oc shot a smug glare in his direction, making Peter stiffen, then turned back towards the wall.

“Harm him? Well, obviously, sir. How else am I to get him to talk?”

A voice warbled back at him from the phone. Otto’s expression immediately fell, replaced by anger and confusion.

“What? But sir, you never said…ugh.” He dumped the drill on the table, pouting like a child. “Alright. Yes, I understand. Not a scratch. See you tomorrow.”

Octavius slipped the phone back into his coat, then slowly turned to face him. He flexed his hands at him sides and held his shoulders tight.

“It seems you’ve had a stroke of luck, arachnid. The man who wants you needs you fully intact. While you are in my custody, I can’t harm you.”

Peter lit up. “Wait, really? Ha! Suck it, Doc!” Then he frowned, tilting his head to the side. “Wait, why?”

“He didn’t say. But I wouldn’t celebrate so hastily, Spider-Man.” He lifted closer to him. His eyes were cold and dark. “There are plenty of means of torture that don’t require bodily harm.”

This was his chance to think his way out of here. He had to buy himself some time. Peter cleared his throat.

“Well, you better hurry and come up with one, Doc. You know, before the Avengers show up here and kick your ass.”

Otto rolled his eyes. “The Avengers will never find this place, you idiot.”

“Yes they will. They’ll track my phone.”

“I destroyed your phone as soon as I caught you.”

Peter’s jaw dropped. “What? Doc! Not cool, man. I know it was a piece of crap, but it was my piece of crap!”

“Shut it, you blabbering moron!”

Peter grinned. Now he was back in the game.

“My suit has a tracker too, genius. They’re going to find me, and I promise they won’t go easy on you, even if you are a fat, ugly loser living in a garbage can.”

The doctor scoffed. “You’re lying. I disabled your suit. And if there was, my sensors would have picked it up.”

“Not this one. Tony Stark made it. It’s teeny-tiny and puts out a signal only he can track.”

Peter was lying, of course. Tony hadn’t made any tracker of the kind, at least not to his knowledge. If his suit was offline, which seemed to be the case, the tracker that was in it was offline too. Still, Doc Oc didn’t need to know that. Slowly, the color drained from the scientist’s face.

“Where is it?” he hissed. His metal arms flew at Spider-Man, searching for the hidden device. “Tell me where it is, now!”

The two mechanical claws started grabbing at Peter’s legs and midsection in their hunt for tracker, causing him to cringe. The sensation was not what he was expecting, and before he knew it, a massive wave of laughter was building behind his lips. He managed to stay quiet for a few more seconds, clenching his jaw, coiling his muscles, until one of the tentacles squeezed his side. Spider-Man flinched and yelped, making Octavius start.

“What was that? Is the tracker there?” His metal claw tweaked the same spot. Peter squeaked.

“Quihit it! It’s too small to find!”

“Then why are you so jumpy all of a sudden?”

Spider-Man didn’t answer, his face heating up beneath his mask. Doc Oc narrowed his eyes. To Peter’s dismay, the prongs returned to his ribs and began kneading at them experimentally. Despite his attempts to fight it, high-pitched giggles slipped through his defenses — and once the seal was broken, he couldn’t make them stop. Doc blinked in surprise as Peter jerked away from the contact.

“Ahaha hey!  Stohop it, you psycho!” He giggled and squirmed until Octavius withdrew his arm, leaving him panting and flushed pink.

“Ah, I see now. You’re not worried about me finding any device. You’re just ticklish.”

The redness in his cheeks bled through the rest of his body. After having Tony Stark discover how unbearably sensitive he was, Peter thought the worst of the embarrassment was behind him. What could possibly be more humiliating than having your biggest idol find out that one poke to the tummy rendered Spider-Man a giggly, useless blob?

Your biggest nemesis, that’s what.

Peter suddenly felt hyperaware of how vulnerable he was. Doctor Octopus could sense his discomfort, which mirrored how he’d been acting earlier: twitchy, anxious, devoid of chatter or childish jokes. An evilly knowing glint entered the scientist’s eyes.

“You seem tense, Spider-Man. I told you I’m not allowed to harm you, so why are on edge again?”

The young hero swallowed, shifting against the ‘X’. “W-well, that doesn’t change the fact that I’m imprisoned by a maniac and strapped to a freezing cold board like a dead carcass about to get an autopsy. You try getting comfortable on this thing. Not exactly the spa day I’ve been meaning to treat myself with, Doc.”

“You were acting perfectly at ease until I brushed you here.” He pointed towards the spot with one of his mechanical claws, causing Spider-Man to flinch sharply. “Are you really that sensitive?”

Peter stared sideways with a nervous cough. “Uh…no…?”

“So you don’t mind if I do this?”

Before he could squeak out a protest, the metal prongs zipped to his side. It was comical how violently the contact made him jump, and how quickly laughter succeeded it.

“Ack! Oho c-crahap! Nohoho!” Good god, he was in trouble. Now that he was tickling him on purpose, it was so much worse. The robotic fingers were stiff and icy, kneading his ticklish torso with machine-like precision and cruelty. Different than how hands felt, but no less maddening—perhaps even more so. As they moved up his side, pinching each individual rib, Peter’s laughter climbed.

“Now that I think about it, this works out marvelously. Although the method is rather…unconventional, I can still get you to talk without having to physically harm you.” He dropped the claw back down to his belly, making Spider-Man wince and squeal. “Now tell me, arachnid: where does Stark keep his research on nano-technology, and how can I get ahold of it?”

Uh-oh. Peter had been hoping he’d ask him something he had no clue about, like where Hawkeye had been for the last two years or what size underwear the Hulk wore. Unfortunately, he knew the exact location of the hard drive Mr. Stark kept all of his nano-tech information on, because he’d been letting Peter work on it with him in the lab.

But he couldn’t let Doc Oc know that.

“W-whahat? I dohohon’t know! I have noho idea!” He angled his body as far from mechanical fingers as he could manage, giggling hysterically. “This ihis rihidiculous! Let me gohoho!”

Octavius smiled at the helpless hero. “Not until you tell me what I want to know.”

To Peter’s horror, a second metal hand pounced on his defenseless torso, squeezing his other side and tickling his tummy. Now there was absolutely no escaping the tickle torture, and it was twice as unbearable. Poor Spider-Man shrieked and laughed, thrashing and jerking and throwing his head back.

“Nohohohaha! Ahahahahasshole!” He hated how much Doc’s evil plan was working. He was already desperate to make the cruel tickling stop. The metal prongs continued to knead and claw at the teen’s sensitive midsection, increasing their speed and intensity with every passing second. Peter’s sides ached as he giggled wildly, endlessly.

“Cursing?” Octavius teased. “That’s awfully out-of-character for our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.” He moved both arms to his ribs, drilling them with tickles and sending the superhero into a twitchy frenzy. He had to admit, it was odd to see the renowned wall-crawler reduced to such a pathetically helpless position. It was even odder to see how effective tickle torture was on someone with such a high pain tolerance. In all of their brawls and battles, he had never considered utilizing so frivolous a tactic. There was something strangely…endearing about it. Spider-Man could take four nights of beat-downs, but hardly two minutes of tickling? His laughter was so high-pitched and childlike; it made the doctor begin to wonder how old he actually was.

Meanwhile, Peter was hanging on by fraying threads. He bucked and squirmed and shook his head, giggles pouring from his lips. “Dohoc plehehehehehease!” he cried. He wasn’t sure if begging for mercy would increase or dampen Doc Oc’s thirst for brutality, but at this point, it was his only option. “I d-dohon’t know ahanythihing! Mihister Stahahark hasn’t shohohown me! I dohohon’t—I cahan’t—oho gahahaEEEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAA!”

Mid-sentence, Doc’s sinister claws crept up to his armpits and started scribbling experimentally against the hollows. Spider-Man all but lost it, wrenching with every ounce of his strength and peeling into loud, hiccup-filled bouts of uncontrollable laughter. Octavius couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Oh dear, have I found your weak spot?” he asked. The deadly prongs burrowed deeper into his underarms, eliciting yelps and squeaks from the poor hero. “Maybe I’ll just hang around here until you start talking.”

Peter was certain he would die if the tickling didn’t stop. Maybe he could survive a few more minutes of it in other places — belly, sides, ribs — but his armpits? Nope. They were too damn sensitive for him to bear. Where the hell were the Avengers? A part of him hoped they didn’t come, because this would be very embarrassing to have to explain. The rest of him was too worn down to care.

He had to tell him. He had to. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t!

“STAHAPSTAHAHAPSTAHAHAHAP!” he pleaded through tears. “I SWEHEHEHEAR! I DOHOHON’T KNOHOHOHOW! AHAHAHAHAHADOHOHOCSHIHIHIHIHITPLEHEHEHEHEASE!” His words were swallowed by painful hiccups that racked his entire frame. At this point, he could hardly even make a sound, he was laughing so hard. Octavius shook his head amusedly.

“I’m not an idiot, arachnid,” he said. The tentacles suddenly withdrew from his underarms, leaving Peter dazed and reeling with incredible relief. “I know you know where they are.”

Weak giggles spilled continuously from his mouth as he fought to catch his breath. “Ehehe…ahehehe…oho my god.” He hung limply from the metal ‘X’. “Noho, I…no I dohon’t…”

“You do,” Doc insisted. “It’s funny how effective this is on you. It’s almost cute.”

Peter wanted to punch his smug face in so bad right now. If he could just get out of these stupid restraints…

Before he had a chance to try, one of Octavius’ metal arms reached up and grabbed hold of his mask.

“I nearly forgot; I can see who you are now. Why wasn’t that the first thing I did? Silly me.”

Panic flooded Peter’s system. “No—Doc—wait—!”

It was no use. In an instant, Octavius ripped the mask from his head. Just like that, his cover was blown. Slowly, he met Doc’s gaze, eyes wide and afraid.

After soaking in the true face of his archenemy, Doc felt a sick twist in his stomach. “You’re…a child,” he finally said. The Spider-Man mask fell from his claw.

Peter’s face was still red from laughing; his eyes still shone with tears. He was at a loss for words.

“You’re telling me I’ve been fighting a child all this time? Spider-Man is just some kid? I was planning to break every bone in your body, for crap’s sake. I was going to sell you to be experimented on.”

Peter swallowed and stared at the floor. “I’m not…a child…”

“How old are you?” he asked. When Spider-Man didn’t answer, his metal hands jumped back to his torso. Peter shrieked.

“AHAHAHEHAHAHAHA!” His laughter was even more adorable when his face was visible, and you could see the giant smile that overtook his features. “NOHOHOHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHACAHAHAHAHAN’T!”

“If you tell me, I’ll release you,” Doc said. Peter didn't care that he was probably lying. He immediately crumbled.

“FIHIHEFIFTEHEHEHEEN! I’M FIHIHIFTEHEHEHEHEEHEEN!” He realized too late he could’ve just lied. But Doctor Octopus had seen his face; by now he could probably look him up and easily find the answer.

Slowly, the mechanical tentacles relinquished their tickle attack. Peter melted with relief, giggling breathlessly.

“You’re fifteen?” Doc Oc gawked. Spider-Man didn’t understand why it was so shocking. An eight-year-old was a child, not him! Huffing in frustration, Octavius slammed one of his arms against the panel of buttons in front of him.

With a click, the clasps on his wrists and ankles suddenly opened. Peter dropped to the ground, landing on his hands and knees.

“A teenager has no business being involved with superheroes or criminals or anything like this. Even I know that. Go home, and never interfere with my operations again.”

Peter fought to shake the remaining laughter from his voice. “Y-you, heh, can’t really expect me to listen to you, can you Doc? I’m not gonna stop fighting you just cuz you suddenly decided to develop some weird, skewed morality.”

Octavius hinted a smile. “Are you sure about that, Spidey?” he asked, feigning innocence. Before Peter could react in time, four metal limbs lunged at him, pinning him to the ground and tickling his tummy and underarms with merciless cruelty. Spider-Man exploded into hysterical laughter, kicking and squirming but unable to escape the evil scientist’s hold. No matter how much he tickled him, the young hero’s tolerance for it never grew.

“Because if you don’t listen, then perhaps I’ll just have to do this every time you show up to try and stop me. Not a very heroic look on you, is it?”

Not even Spider-Man’s greatest nemesis was immune to the web-slinger’s endearing aura. Like everyone else that knew him, Doc couldn’t get over how adorable the kid was when he was reduced to a puddle of helpless laughter.

As Spider-Man giggled and squealed and struggled vainly to break free, a crash sounded from the room next door. Octavius fled the evil lair as quick as a flash; Peter didn’t even see which way he went. He laid flat on the floor, trying to catch his breath, hugging his aching sides.

The back door burst from its hinges and careened across the floor. Peter jolted upright as Iron Man, Black Widow, War Machine, and Cap came rushing into the room.

“Peter?” Tony cried, the helmet dissolving off his face. He landed beside him and laid a hand on his back. “Kid, are you alright?”

“Is he hurt?” Cap asked, jogging up to join the group. Tony gave Peter’s shoulders a shake.

“Kid, answer me. Are you okay?”

He was having trouble processing everything that had just transpired. When he opened his mouth, his ears reddened.

“I, uh, yeah. I’m fine.” He blinked, rubbing unconsciously at his giggle-filled belly. “How’d you find me? Doc disabled my suit.”

“You think I left your suit with just one tracker? After that stunt you pulled with the ferry?” He helped him to his feet, wrapping an arm around his back.

“Where is it?” Peter asked.

“Lucky for you, it’s too small to find.” Tony poked him playfully in the tummy, as he’d started doing now that he knew how well it worked in cheering the kid up. Peter yelped with laughter and buried himself into Stark’s side.  

“Plehease please plehehease don’t,” he wheezed listlessly. Once the giggling started up again, he couldn’t make it stop. “I cahan’t—you don’t—eheheh.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Tony chuckled. Peter was giggling too much to reply.

[prorevenge]

Karma is a girl's best friend

So, this isn’t particularly me getting revenge, as much as Karma helping me out. But i figured it belongs here and is pretty pro, considering. TL/DR at the end.

So, I met my now ex-husband, let’s call him X, on a dating site, and he seemed decent enough via the emails and texts and phone calls we exchanged for the first few weeks. Well, I fianally agreed to meet him in person, at a public place. When I laid eyes on the man in person, every fiber of my being said, “No, this doesn’t feel right.” I should have listened.

Several things threw up red flags in the time we were dating, to which, again, I should have listened. Oh, well. Hind sight is 20/20, isn’t it? I won’t list those, other than he lied to me from the start about little things in his life, so our relationship started on lies I wouldn’t discover until it was too late. We dated about a year, before I had to move in with him and his mom (I was 19, he was 21), due to a situation with my mother.

Everything was fine (as I can recall) in the time we lived there other than I HATED his mother, and she equally hated me. We got our own place, and a month later, got married in a simple courthouse wedding (we had been together 2 years at this point). …. Then it started going downhill. Anytime I didn’t want sex, he would flat out DEMAND it, saying it was my “wifely duties”, would be a pissy man child for 3 days after if I still refused. (That is technically a form of rape, for those who don’t know.) He also wouldn’t stop if we were in mid intercourse and I told him to stop because it was hurting… I should have gotten out then. I thought it was just me.

A little over 2 years of being married, we have a kid. X refuses to get up during the night to help with the baby, stating that since he was the only one working until after I got back from maternity leave, he shouldn’t lose any sleep. So, I learned to nap when the baby napped. At this point, our son is too little to truly play with, so his constant gaming is somewhat excusable. However, if I wanted to spend any time with him at all, I had to do what he wanted. He NEVER did things I was interested in.

Well, time goes on, and our son starts growning up, and is really actively wanting to play. Great! I stay home with him during the day, being super mom, and work a part time in the evenings. Hence, very little sleep for me. X works full time during the day, and immediately when he comes home says hi to us, showers, grabs food, then heads off to his gaming room. Doesn’t play with our then 3-4 yr old, who litterally brings him toys and says, “Please play, Daddy?” . All he does is take the toy, and says “in a bit, buddy.” But never does. When I was home on nights I was off work, he expected me to still do everything in the house (NEVER helped with housework, unless I specifically said “please have this done before I get home.” Rarely does anything with our son, then complains when son doesn’t want to be with him, and cries for me.

About the time our son was 4, we moved half a state away, to my initial home town ( one set of parents lived there, my other set lived where i was raised from 13, up), and into that set of parents’ home, until we could find something. Was only supposed to be maximum 3 months. We were there over a year…

About a month after moving there, i got pregnant again, and we were excited. I thought this would complete us, make me happy, finally, etc. Well, my parents one night asked me why I would even want another kid with him, as he clearly never helped me, and was on his video games all the time. That struck a nerve, and I realized I DIDN’T want another kid with him, but as I was almost 3 months along at this point, and don’t agree with abortion unless it’s medically necessary, I was stuck. So, on the night before MY birthday, he insisted on birthday sex. I told him no less than 4 times that I didn’t want to, before saying, “Fine, get it over with so you leave me alone about it.” I had some spotting the next monrning, didnt think much of it. Then, on MY BIRTHDAY, miscarried. I spent from 3pm-2 am in the hospital, with my grandmother and parents tending to my son. X was there, so worried, upset, etc. Honestly, I was relieved, I just couldn’t say it.

A month later, my ex fiance, from high school sent me a message that he missed me. In truth, I had missed him the whole time as well. We reconnected. A month later, I told X I wanted a divorce. He begged me to give him to our anniversary to fix it. I told him I knew he wouldn’t change, he hadn’t any other time I said I was unhappy, so why should this be different?

During this time, he orders a couple thousand dollars of new things for his new apartment (leaving me, as caregiver of our child, in debt). He tried to tell people the reason I left was for my ex. No, Asshole, the main reason i left was because you made me fucking miserable. I had to work 2 part time (27hrs each) per week, working litterally every day, just to try to keep my head above water, while he paid the bare minimum in child support. (Half of our son’s daycare + 20$ per week, that’s it.)

So, I eventually move back to my other parent’s home, 3 hours away, because I started getting sick, and needed help with my son. Turns out, all that stress I was put thru DESTROYED my already compromised immune system (thanks, genetics!) And I have ulcers covering the left side of my intestines. Anyone with ulcers can tell you, this compromises daily life, as ulcerative colitis is pretty much just as bad as Chrons disease.. well, fucking great. So, not only did this asshat treat me like crap when we were together, but the stress caused me to have a condition where i now have to take pills and shots for the rest of my life.

On to the karma: Being back home, my life (other than still having health trouble) has drastically improved! My parents here help with my son more than his father or my other parents EVER have; I’m now very happily married to the fiance from high school, who is more of a father to my son than his own dad ever was; we have a huge apartment, with my loving dog getting to finally live indoors again. All in all, I’m in a better place than I ever had been in the past 10 years. X, however, isn’t doing as well. He had a mental breakdown over the divorce (or at least faked it well enough). He is on meds that habe made him gain more weight than I have ever seen on that man, and he ACTUALLY has to take care of our son when our son goes to his place. Which, since X works a weird schedule, is rare as hell except in summer.

So, not only did he lose a caring, good wife to someone who treats her way better, but he also rarely gets to see his kid (who, tbh, is doing better without seeing him all the time). AND he has ballooned up weight wise, which makes me feel so pettily happy when I see him whenever we meet to exchange our son. ^_^

TL/DR :: Now ex-husband used to rape me, not help at all around the house or with our son, and flat out ignored our son and myself. Now he’s having major depression and mental issues, living in a terrible apartment, and has gained a crap ton of weight, while I’m doing so much better with my now husband, who treats me like an equal, not an object, and who loves my son as his own.

(submit your pro revenge story) (story by irishlady)