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souliebird · 3 months

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[[and then I met you || ch. 23]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to not only protect his new family from Hell's Kitchen, but from the world.

chapter masterlist

Words: 3.2k

ao3 link

Matt’s eyes flutter shut as you smooth your thumbs over his forehead. The urge to press forward into your touch is nearly overwhelming, but he controls himself. Your fingers run down his temple and to the apples of his cheeks, oh so gently rubbing sunblock into his skin. He doesn’t remember the last time he used the product, but his sweet Minnie demanded he wear it, and who is he to deny his daughter on her birthday?

You are in complete Mom mode - focused on making sure all his exposed skin is covered - so you don’t realize how intimate you are being with him. He wants so badly to reach out and touch you back - to hold your waist and rub your arms and feel you against him. It is far from the first time he’s felt this and mentally repeating the Lord’s Prayer helps him keep his thoughts from straying.

Especially when your fingers dance down to his neck.

He may or may not have fantasies about you pressing your hand into his windpipe while riding him. He may or may not have finally given into his mother’s pressures about talking to the new priest because he was beginning to feel guilty about how often he may or may not have touched himself to those fantasies.

Matt wants so badly to show you how much he loves you, but you aren’t ready for it yet, and he understands. You’ve accepted him for who he is and what he does. You want to know more and aren’t accusatory when you ask questions. You’ve been snatched up into his whirlwind of a life and are adjusting in a way he didn’t think was possible, but you are still adjusting and he’s not going to push more onto you.

You’ve been slow to accept physical gestures and as much as it pains him, he’s happy to go at your pace. He cherishes each moment you let him hold you and his heart soars when you are the one to initiate it. You don’t flinch or pull back when he rests a hand on your hip or back. Slow and steady wins the race and if you want to stroll, he’ll stroll right along with you.

“All done,” you say, breaking him from his thoughts as you step away. “We shouldn’t be out here long enough that we will need to reapply.”

“Thank you,” he replies. He puts his glasses back on and he follows your movements as you put the sunscreen back in your purse. “Do you need help with anything?”

The second phase of Minnie’s Birthday Bash Weekend - after her princess breakfast and makeover - is the Park Party. Multiple blankets have been laid out for everyone to sit on and the wagon is filled to the brim with supplies - there’s a drink cooler, a snack cooler, a series of toys Minnie insisted they add so no one gets bored, and tucked in the corner, unopened presents they picked up from Sister Maggie. Foggy showed up early so he could enjoy the walk to the park with the birthday girl and Karen and Frank should be arriving soon.

Matt knows you are going to fuss over the details and try to play Good Host, and he wants you to relax and have a good time instead.

But sometimes, he thinks fussing is your idea of fun. You make a shooing motion at him and there is a bit of a laugh in your voice when you tell him, “Go play with your daughter.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice.

Foggy and Minnie are on the sidewalk, setting up her newest toy. Fog got Mouse some sort of pogo stick for toddlers and from her excited explanation to him, it is pink and princess themed. Matt has no idea how a pogo stick for toddlers could possibly work - Minnie can barely balance on one leg - but you seemed to have no issue with the device, so he chalks it up to having missed something in the explanation that would be obvious to a sighted person.

“Okay, squirt. Go ahead and step on,” Foggy tells Minnie. Matt can sense some sort of small platform that his little one steps onto, then she is being handed something that reminds him of a bike handle. “Okay. Try jumping.”

Mouse jumps straight up, and to his surprise, the little platform bounces when it hits the ground again, sending her back up about half an inch. That seems like more than enough height for her, as she lets out an absolutely delighted scream and quickly starts to repeat the motion.

She bounces four times before she loses her balance and falls off the platform, but Matt doesn’t even get the chance to step forward to help her. She’s right back on and jumping in place - beaming ear to ear.

“Look at you go!” Foggy cooes and Matt can’t help but grin. “You are a little hopping machine!”

“Hop! Hop! Hop!” Mouse cheers as she does just that. “Hop! Hop! Hop!”

“Hop! Hop! Hop!” Both he and Fog echo, and they are on the same wavelength, because they both mimic her by bouncing on the balls of their feet.

Matt can sense you aiming your phone at Mouse, most likely taking a picture or filming them, so he quickly prompts her, hoping for a cute moment. “Sweetie, what do you say to Foggy?”

“Thank you, Froggy, you are the bestest!”

“You are very welcome, birthday girl!” Fog, of course, quickly turns to Matt to jokingly rub in, “Hear that, Murdock? I’m the bestest.”

Minnie stumbles again and Matt realizes she will not need help unless she trips and falls to the ground. She’s back to bouncing within a second and defending his honor.

“You’re the bestest, but Daddy’s Super Bestest and Mommy is Super-Duper Bestest.”

Foggy must pull a face, because both you and Minnie laugh before he gives in, “Okay, I will allow this because it is your birthday. But no take backsies. I’m the bestest.”

“No take backsies!” Mouse quickly parrots before turning her attention back to her toy. She dissolves into giggles as she jumps up and down and he can only imagine how big her smile must be.

He takes a moment to focus in on one of the gifts he got her. He didn’t get called Bestest for it, but Matt hopes it will be something she grows to cherish. He spent a pretty penny to get it custom made as he was incredibly particular about the quality, but it was more than worth it - a gold heart necklace with ‘I love you’ in Braille on one side, and on the other, the date he found out she existed.

He knows she can’t always wear it - it is a choking hazard until she’s older - but right now it is bumping against her manubrium and he can’t help but smile and reach to fiddle with the bracelet hanging on his wrist.

It has become almost like a rosary to him. When he’s thinking, he finds himself pulling the beads up to go around his hand and he will thumb at them, tracing over the hearts his sweet Minnie gave him. The only time he doesn’t wear it is when he’s out on Patrol - and that is only because he’s scared he’ll end up breaking it. Otherwise, he has it on - asleep, in the shower, in court - Matt proudly wears his friendship bracelet.

Of course, no one is none the wiser to his private moment. Foggy continues to encourage Mouse to bounce and enjoy her gift. Matt is pretty sure this is one of the toys she is going to run into the ground because she uses it so much.

“Hey, Fog, where did you get this thing?”

“Online,” his friend quickly replies. “I’ll send you the link. One of the Littles got one for their birthday and loved it, so I went with a peer-reviewed product instead of trying my luck on something unknown.”

“I didn’t even know this existed,” you say from your spot on the blankets. “This is amazing.”

“Thank you,” Foggy says with an uptick in his voice, indicating he is smiling. “But I’ll warn you, some of them come with a squeaker in them. I hunted for the one without one. I wanted to take pity on the bat-ears.”

Matt throws back his head as he laughs and concedes, “Okay, maybe you are the Bestest.”

“I knew it!”

“Froggy is the bestest! Froggy is the bestest! Froggy is the bestest!” Minnie starts to chant as she plays. Foggy joins her and Matt claps along for a moment.

You laugh at them, and it is one of the most beautiful sounds he’s ever heard - it is you actually being truly happy.

The joy is cut short, and it morphs into panic when Minnie very suddenly drops her pogo stick and takes off running towards the other side of the park. Her movements are so quick and erratic that Matt doesn’t react right away, having not anticipated them. You scramble up to chase her just as he begins to move to do the same.

“Minnie! Come back here!” You shout as you hurry after your daughter.

Matt opens up his senses, needing to know what has Minnie so excited that it overrode her being the shy little angel he’s used to. He zeroes in on it instantly.

Karen, Frank, and Frank’s dog Max have just arrived, parking on the street outside the green space. Minnie is making a beeline right towards them, but luckily, her little legs are no match for Matt and he scoops her up before she can get too far from their picnic. She instantly begins to struggle against him, flailing and kicking and trying her best to fight his hold, but he turns her around and forces her onto his hip.

“Minnie, you cannot run off!” he chastises as you catch up to them. “You know better than that. You know you need to stay with us.”

“It’s Mister Frank and he has a doggie!” She tries to explain, clearly excited and overly enthusiastic, but Matt won’t be swayed. “I gotta go say hi to him! And asks if I can play with his doggie! I’ve never played with a doggie! I wanna play with the doggie!”

“It’s dangerous to just run off. You have to ask Mommy or me first.” Matt tells her. He’s trying to remain calm, but the fear from her just running away is still in his system. He knows he can’t yell or scold her - it’s her special day and she just got too excited, but he needs her to know that isn’t okay.

Luckily, you seem to know how to handle this.

“No running off,” you emphasize, putting your hand on her back and almost crowding her into Matt, which he is more than okay with. “Part of being a Big Girl is knowing the rules. If you can’t follow the rules, what happens?”

Minnie deflates against him, all her jubilation evaporating, and guilt pools in his chest as his precious little baby mumbles out, “We go home.”

“That’s right.”

“I don’t wanna go home. I wanna play with Froggy more and Mister Frank and his doggie.”

You reach up to push some of her hair out of her face and gently comfort her, “we’re not going to go home. But you gotta be good, okay? Mister Frank and Karen are coming to us. You don’t have to run to them, okay?”

“Okay.”

It seems like Minnie will not bolt if Matt sets her down, so he takes that chance. She fusses with smoothing out her princess dress for a moment and patting it free of any dust before looking up at you, “When he gets close can I go say hi? Please? Please? Please?”

She asks so sweetly it is a miracle you don’t cave immediately. You put your hands on your hips as you pretend to think over your answer. After a few moments, you reply, “When he gets as close to us as we are to Froggy, you can go say hi.”

Minnie whips around to judge the distance - she had only gotten about thirty or forty feet before Matt caught her - before turning back. She literally bounces from foot to foot as she waits for Frank and Karen to get close enough that she can run to them and that helps to dissipate the lingering guilt he has. He defaults to you to give the ‘okay’ signal, and when you do, Minnie takes off again at a speed he didn’t think toddlers could achieve.

“Mister Frank! Mister Frank! It’s my birthday!” she yells as she streaks towards him.

Matt isn’t exactly keen on Minnie’s excitement for Frank, but he accepts the man is entering his circle more now that he and Karen are in a relationship. When they aren’t butting heads about the morality of killing, he thinks he and Frank get along well enough. They take jabs at each other and even if it can be scathing, neither of them takes it personally. Danger follows Frank and Matt is acutely aware of that, but he also has some je ne sai quoi with kids and Minnie is not immune to it.

You and Matt follow after your daughter while Frank passes off Max’s leash to Karen so he can catch the toddler rocket coming right at him. The Devil in Matt’s chest growls with jealousy and possessiveness when Frank picks Mouse up to hold her without any shyness from his little one and she’s tossed slightly up into the air.

“It’s your birthday? Well, it’s a good thing we got all those presents in the truck, then, ain’t it, Karen?”

“I wonder who they could be for,” Karen teases and Minnie turns into a giggling mess, hiding her hands in her face.

“Are they for me?” She asks, so sweet and genuine and not at all greedy. Matt’s heart glows with how pure his daughter is, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever get over it.

“It is your birthday,” Frank tells her and that just makes her more delighted.

“I’m getting so many presents! Mommy gave me presents and Daddy gave me presents and Froggy gave me presents and Froggy’s Mommy gave me presents AND…and Daddy’s Mommy gave me presents. That’s like…” She pauses and lifts up her hands in front of her face and Matt thinks she must be trying to count. Finally, she decides on a number, “That’s like twelve presents!”

She certainly received more than twelve presents from you alone - there were so many components to her new kitchen set - but he knows everyone understands what she means. Minnie is being absolutely spoiled for her birthday.

“That is a lot of presents!” Karen cooes, “You aren’t tired from opening them all?”

“Not uh! I’m a Big Girl!”

“We can have a second round of opening presents after the park,” you inform Minnie and even without his enhanced hearing, he can tell you are smiling - you sound so happy. “We can have cake at home, and you can show everyone what you got.”

“That sounds like a good plan to me,” Frank says, bouncing Mouse in his arms a little. “What do you say, Princess?”

She nods eagerly, “A good plan!”

You all begin to walk back towards the picnic - and Foggy, who has relocated the pogo stick to the blankets - and Minnie gets to the next order of business.

“Can I pet your doggie?”

Max seems to know he’s being talked about, as he starts making little noises and adding a wiggle to his walk. Matt has met the dog a few times now and even he admits the animal is a sweet one, especially for an ex-fighting dog. He knows that Frank didn’t keep Max initially, but when he resettled in New York a few months ago, the dog also reappeared. Matt doesn’t question it - he thinks caring for the dog is good for Frank and Karen absolutely adores him.

“Do you know how to pet a dog?” Frank asks, amusement clear in his voice.

Minnie shakes her head, but as always, has a solution, “No, but I can learns! Mommy says…Mommy says when we don’t know something, we can learn it by askings! I can asks my tablet!” She pauses, then dramatically slaps her hands to her cheeks. “I don’t have my tablet, its at home.”

They all laugh at her antics and as they approach their picnic, Frank sets Minnie down, “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I can teach you. And I can show you how to play fetch, too.”

Karen goes to hug Foggy a hello, while you and she start to strike up a conversation catching up. Matt decides to allow you the time to have an adult moment, and he keeps his attention on Minnie, Frank, and Max.

“Before you can pet him, you need to introduce yourself,” Frank starts, moving to sit down on the blankets as he does. Minnie plops down beside him and Matt takes a seat beside her. “You need to hold out your hand so he can sniff it. He can’t talk, so he gets to know you through smell.”

He demonstrates by holding out his hand to Max. The dog snuffles at it, then begins to lick at Frank, his tail starting to wag. Matt can practically feel Minnie analyzing what is happening, then after a moment, she sticks her little hand out towards Max. The dog clearly gets excited by this and turns his big head towards his daughter. He could so very easily bite off her whole arm - Minnie is small for her age and Max is a big dog - but instead he oh so gently presses his nose to her skin before giving it a tiny lick.

“He likes me!” Minnie says in a whisper-gasp and Matt tries his best to not laugh.

“He does, he wants to be your friend,” Frank tells her.

“I wanna be his friend, too!” She declares before mimicking Max by leaning in and sniffing at him loudly. He can’t hold back his amusement when she sticks out her tongue with a, “He’s stinky!”

“He’s a dog, all dogs stink,” Frank laughs, “but he’s still a good dog.”

“How do I pets him?” Mouse asks, obviously so very excited and wanting to learn how to pet Max correctly.

Matt leans back and observes as Frank gently guides his daughter’s hands, showing her where to pet the sweet dog. He hopes this doesn’t lead to her wanting her own puppy - though she will probably spend a fair amount of time pretending Scooby is a real dog instead of her companion in trouble.

Matt has never wanted a dog before - mostly because it has always been pitched as a guide dog and he doesn’t need one - but he wonders if his mind would change if you wanted a dog. He knows it isn’t possible in your current apartment, but what if you moved to somewhere bigger? Where Minnie could have her own bedroom and maybe you could have your own yard.

Where, maybe, he could move in with you, and you could be a proper, traditional family. He could be with you - provide for you like he should have always been doing. He could sleep in your bed at night and tell you he loves you in the morning. Where he could tuck Minnie in before he goes on Patrol and he could learn all her Quiet Games.

Where he could protect his family.

Where he could have something he’s always wanted.

Where maybe, just maybe, Matt Murdock could finally have a home.

a/n:

Every one say Happy Birthday to the Birthday girl!

part one of the birthday weekend. Sorry it is a little short We have another birthday day chapter after this then Minnie gets her Zoo Trip!

tags:

@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife

@petrovafire39 @ghostindeath

@allllium @waywardcrow @thatkindofgurl

@anehkael @akilatwt @lostinthefantasies @reluctanthalfwayoptimism @ethereal-blaze

@nennia-2000 @seasonofthenerd @abucketofweird @mattmurdockstateofmind @imagineswritersblog @hazelhavoc @smile-child-13 @allst4rsfall @hashcakes @kezibear @mapleaye @sammanna @gamingfeline @moon-glades @nightwitherspring @phoenix666stuff @dare-devil

@ladyoflynx @hobiebrowns-wife @sarcasm-n-insomnia @lillycore

@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt

@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374

@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare

@mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @yes-im-your-mom @hunnybelha @actorinfluence @capbrie @prowlingforfood @jupitervenusearthmars

Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets

@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt @nommingonfood @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment @dil3mma @allllium

two-unbeatable-beaters @kiwwia-wiwwia @1988-fiend @xblueriddlex @loves0phelia @ninacotte @lovelyygirl8 @littlenosoul @ednaaa-04 @ astridstark13

@lovingkryptonitehideout @moongirlgodness @soocore @bluestuesday

@starry-night-20 @rebeccapineapple @writtenbyred @cherrypie5 @capswife @silvercharacterchaos @resting-confused-face

#soulie writes #fanfiction #daredevil #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x reader #and then i met you #birthday chapter!!!

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theemporium · 8 months

Note

For the smut blurb, possibly a tickle fight turns....more? (Feel free to ignore, I am feeling like a beached whale so sexy thoughts are not my friend)

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

“Give it back!”

“No!”

“Jack—”

“I’m your boyfriend, you need to give me attention!”

You opened your mouth, something between a snort and a laugh ready to leave your lips as you reached for your book, only for a shriek to escape your lips when you felt his fingers digging into your side. You looked up, seeing something mischievous gleaming in his eyes before his fingers slipped under the hem of your shirt and began tickling your endlessly.

“Stop!”

“Not until you say I’m better than your book!”

“That’s unfair!”

“I’m your boyfriend!”

“It’s a really good book!”

But Jack was relentless as he pinned you down with his thighs, a massive grin on his face as he continued to tickle you. Your book was long forgotten, abandoned somewhere on the floor (with your page marked, because he was a gentleman like that) and the reason he had been bugging you in the first place was no longer a priority.

You squirmed beneath him, trying to break free from his hold and trying to push his hands away but it only made Jack laugh harder. You let out a whine mixed between your shrieks, glaring up at your boyfriend.

He paused, looking down at you with a smile. “Ready to surrender?”

“Are you?” You retorted, just because you could. Just because it made you feel a little better about the fact he had you pinned and exactly where he wanted you.

His eyes shone in amusement. “I don’t think you’re in the place to start making demands, baby.”

And you were about to reply, about to throw something snarky right back at him when you wiggled your hips a little and felt it. Or, for lack of better explanation, felt him.

Jack let out a little choked noise, almost inaudible if it weren’t for the fact he was pressed on top of you and you could feel his hard dick pressed against your hips.

Your eyes snapped back up to his face, admiring the way his cheeks flushed in response. “Someone’s a little excited.”

“It’s not my fault,” he argued back, his blush deepening as he tried to shift away but you pushed your hips upwards again, pressing right against him. “Shit.”

Before Jack could even process what was happening, you quickly shoved him over until he was on his back and you were on top. You knew he let you, that he went willingly but there was still something quite victorious in the feeling as your thighs straddled him.

“This is what you wanted, hm? My attention on you,” you teased and a shameless moan left Jack’s lips when you began to rock your hips. “Just needed some help with your little problem.”

“Not little,” he gritted out between clenched teeth, but he was practically a puddle underneath you as you continued to grind your hips against the obvious bulge in his sweatpants. “Can give you a reminder if you need it.”

“No, I like you like this,” you confessed as your head dipped down, your lips pressing sloppy, open-mouthed kisses along the column of his neck as he squirmed beneath you. “So fucking desperate with the noises you make. Fucking love it.”

“Yeah?” It was breathy and a little high-pitched.

“Yeah, baby,” you murmured, kissing a spot just below his ear that had his hips bucking up. “Think about them all the time when you’re gone.”

His eyes clenched shut. “Shit.”

“When I miss you.”

“Shit, shit shit.”

“When I touch myself—”

His arms wound around your waist, keeping you locked against him as he helplessly rutted his hips against yours until he finally came. He let out a small whimper, a noise from the back of his throat as you shifted a little on top of him until you could reach your hand over to cup his cheek.

“I can’t believe you made me come in my pants like a fucking teenager,” he breathed out, though he didn’t sound too upset on the matter as he slowly blinked his eyes open to look at you.

“I was just giving you my attention,” you grinned down at the boy, happily accepting the kiss he pressed against your lips before he rolled you over.

Jack grinned back. “Got anymore to give?”

You raised your brows in surprise. “Already ready to go again, Hughes?”

“Thought I might repay the favour first,” Jack retorted, his fingers already curling the waistband of your leggings to pull them down your legs.

#jack hughes #nhl #new jersey devils #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes x you #jack hughes x y/n #jack hughes fic #jack hughes one shot #jack hughes smut #nhl x reader #nhl x you #nhl x y/n #nhl fic #nhl one shot #nhl smut

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notyashiro128 · 8 months

Text

Iam sorry

Small one-shot

Fluff fluff fluff

Megumi During the day he'll be ignoring you being a bit mean to you

Because He doesn't want Nobara Yuji and Gojo to know about your relationship with him

But today He was so mean to you that you were sick and cuz of what he's done you got angry

"fushiguro can you please give me your notes?" You asked him

Yuji and nobara They were behind you

They asked Megumi before you but Megumi's response was no

"Why didn't you write your note?" he was upset

"no, I was a little tired can I take them? "You asked nicely

"Don't take responsibility, you idiot" he said Coldly leaving the class

'Did this mf called me idiot that bitch then in the night he'll be beging me to sleep with him ' you said it to yourself

"What a mean .hey it ok y/n " Nobara tried to calm you down

"Its okay y/n I'll tell him later to give us-"You interrupted Yuji

"no, We don't need his notes"You left the class and closed the door hard behind you. You went to your dorm as soon as you entered, took off your shoes and went to your bed to sleep.

In middle of night about 2 am

As soon as you woke up, you noticed Megumi sitting at your table, writing something. you couldn't help but feel a bit surprised. You wondered how he had gotten there and why and what he was writing in your room without your permission. You decided to confront him and demand an explanation for her actions.

"m-megumi" you said sleeply Megumi turned to you and got up, walking towards you

"What are you doing here "you said sleepily with a soft town

He then lay down next to you and quickly you sat on your bed. "What are you doing here?' you asked madly" I just came to write you the notes you need and I want to sleep with you today" . You gave him look, "huh? " Side eye 😏

"Its just sorry I yelled at you in the morning," He then grabbed your hands and pushed you to lie on your back while Megumi placed his head on top of your chest ( what a boobie guy)

"I'm sorry" He nuzzles your neck and then h buries his face in your chest even more

"ah me_gumi stop, you're crushing me" you were about to moan

"Oh, I forgot that they are very sensitive but soft like a pillow or marshmallow~," he murmured sleepy then He laid next to you on his side while you lay on your back you you got up and sat in a chair,

"Y/N. What's wrong with you?" He sat on a bed. "Don't talk to me. I won't sit next to you" you said Coldly

."Why said I'm sorry? " He said it softly. " No, I will not accept your sorry, sorry won't fix a broken heart"

As Megumi approached you, you couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy. You quickly rose from your seat and tried to distance yourself from him, but he followed you. Suddenly, you found yourself pressed against a wall, his hand resting on your waist. You couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement and nervousness as butterflies fluttered in your stomach. You mustered up the courage to speak up, "Please, stay away from me, Fushiguro."

When you called him by His first name he knows that you are upset

Then he picked you up and put you in a bed. He covered you with a blanket and hugged you tightly. You were tired

iam sorry *kiss at your forehead* iam sorry*kiss at the tip of your nose* " iam sorry" * kisses at your cheeks* "iam sorry" * kiss at your lips* you giggled trying to hide your smile

As Megumi hugged you tightly, you could feel his hand running over your arm. He leaned in towards you and planted a gentle kiss on your cheek, followed by the words, "I love you." You couldn't help but feel a shiver run down your spine as you realized how soft and warm his touch was. The moment was so tender and intimate that it made you feel safe and loved.

"I love you too goodnight," You Said quickly trying to back to sleep. Megumi couldn't sleep, but he kept watching you.

What's next?

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shanastoryteller · 1 year

Note

Blessed Samhain, Shana! more Lady Mo or something else genderbendy?

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47

Lan Xichen hasn’t seen Wangji this upset in thirteen years and he has no idea what could be the cause. He guides him to A-Yao’s private garden, mind spinning. If Xuanyu were in some sort of immediate danger, Wangji would not leave her side. He’s sure of that and it’s all that’s keeping him from marching back to Jiang Yanli and demanding an explanation out of her himself. He hopes Sizhui hasn’t noticed the commotion, certain it will cause his nephew to worry, but he doesn’t spare too much thought on it because right now his first concern is his brother.

Worryingly, when they come to a stop Wangji just continues to stare at him blankly.

“What happened?” he asks, resisting the urge to grab him by his shoulders and shake him. “Did you and Xuanyu get into a disagreement?”

Perhaps something to do with Jin Guangshan? Lan Xichen has long abandoned the idea that she’s some sort of spy, as has A-Yao, but that doesn’t mean her father can’t want things from her, can’t be trying to make things difficult for her. Perhaps Jiang Yanli was warning her and Xuanyu and Wangji had a fight about it? They fight often enough that he can’t imagine anything that would send Wangji running.

“I’ve done something terrible,” Wangji says tonelessly. “This is my fault.”

Wangji faced down forty Lan clan elders and received forty lashings all without admitting a single moment of poor judgement or regret. Punishments he accepts easily – culpability, significantly less.

“What are you talking about?” he demands, trying to keep the alarm out of his voice. “What did you do?”

“Xuanyu,” he starts, then presses his lips together and shakes his head.

He would not harm Xuanyu. Even that spar that set half the clan to breaking the rules about gossip was not about harm. He’ll fight her, argue with her, spar with her, but Wangji worries and watches over Xuanyu constantly, vexed and surprised by her at turns, and Lan Xichen had felt aching relief when the woman his brother had been coerced to marry had turned out to be someone that Wangji couldn’t look away from.

He forces himself to sound calm. “What about Xuanyu?”

Wangji wets his lips and has to clear his throat twice before he can make himself speak. “She’s pregnant.”

Lan Xichen stares.

The relief is enough to make his knees week and his grip on Wangji’s shoulder doubles as a way to steady himself. “Wangji! You nearly gave me a heart attack! This is wonderful-”

“Wonderful?” he repeats, looking at him like he’s grown another head.

Some of that relief drains away. “Is it not? Is something wrong with the baby? Or Xuanyu? I know she was a little weak when you married, but she’s gotten so much stronger.” A terrible thought occurs to him. “Is she – she’s happy about it, isn’t she? She said that she likes kids and she’s so good with Sizhui, she must be happy.”

“I,” Wangji blinks, “I don’t – I didn’t ask–”

“Well, what did you say?” he asks in exasperation.

“I apologized.”

A-Yao isn’t here, but Lan Xichen feels the familiar urge to turn to him. “You apologized.” Wangji nods. “Xuanyu told you that she was carrying your child. And you apologized. Then left.”

He nods again, slower this time.

Lan Xichen grips the bridge of his nose.

“LAN WANGJI!”

They both turn to see Jiang Cheng headed straight for them, sword unsheathed and Zidian sparking, although that’s not the most alarming part. The last time Lan Xichen saw that look on Jiang Cheng’s face, they were on a battlefield.

This, at least, likely is Wangji’s fault.

#prompt answers #prompts are closed #asks #alexseanchai #untamed

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ryker-writes · 1 year

Note

Can I request form leaders with an mc who bites people out of love?

I do that i lot of times lmao, it entering seeing their reaction sometimes

Of course! I get the urge to just do that too sometimes-

Also posting this one from my phone instead of my usual computer so I hope everything looks fine

Request rules and Masterlists

Riddle:

confused

his first instinct is off with your head but he refrains

he is very red

you need to explain yourself immediately

if you don't it will be off with your head

when you do explain he's still confused

biting out of love?

he's never heard of such a thing

he will come to accept it with a lot of time but he'll tell you to maybe not bite him when others are around

he just get's so embarrassed if others see it

Will eventually calm down and accept it is you bite him without others round

Leona:

you're playing a dangerous game here

you biting him means he has the right to bite you back

and he will

be careful because he has sharp teeth

he doesn't even question it he just already knows why

he really doesn't mind it

so what if people see you bite him?

you do it out of love so there's no reason to hide it

he's actually pretty smug about it

Azul:

he's broken

wh-why did you bite him????

he's more red than Riddle

Demands and explanation

Love? You bite people out of love?

He’s pretty sure humans don’t usually do this

Like Riddle, he doesn’t want you to do it when others around

While he will be hesitant about you doing it at all, he’s willing to accept it if no one sees

But he’s going to die of embarrassment every time regardless if people see or not

If people do see he’s going to flee and want to crawl into his octo-pot

Kalim:

huh?

he doesn't even understand what happened but he's very calm about it

You bit him? Okay. Why?

Very calm about it all

When you tell him that you bit him out of love, he’s super excited about it

That’s so sweet!

Expect him to start biting too at random times

When Kalim sees you he’s just so happy and he cares about you so much that he just starts walking up and biting you

Jamil is so confused

Kalim might start biting other people he loves too so…

Vil:

first of all, how dare you

Don’t you know it’s rude to bite people?

It’s animal-like

At first he thinks he needs to teach you how to behave around others

But then you tell him that you do it out of love and he’s conflicted

He appreciates your love but he can’t just have you biting him all the time

Perhaps there’s another way you can show your love?

If not he will accept the biting on a few conditions

First, you can not bite him when others are around and you two are completely alone in a room

He will not risk other people seeing or taking photos/videos

Second, you can’t bite him hard enough to leave a mark on his skin

Third, you can only bite spots on him that are pre-approved by him

As long as you follow these rules, he doesn’t mind it as much

Idia:

he's broken #2

Idia.exe has stopped working

as soon as you bite him he can't move or say anything

he's completely frozen

This is so much like this one anime he saw-

He’s so flustered

I’m sorry but he won’t be able to function anywhere near you for the next 2-3 business days

What was that?

Are you some sort of cannibal and he’s your next target?

Did he upset you some how and you were taking your rage out on him?

Eventually may send you a message that asks why you bit him

When you tell him it was out of love he’s broken again

You have to wait another 2-3 business days to hear from Idia again

He will accept it but will be embarrassed and freak out every single time

Not worried about you doing it near people since he’s rarely around other people anyway

Malleus:

w h a t

he's so lost

why are you biting him?

did he do something to offend you?

Do you feel threatened or attacked?

Whatever he’s done he hopes you can forgive him

But why do you bite and then smile at him?

He will calmly ask you why you just bit him

You do it out of love?

He’s now a very happy dragon

He assumes it’s a normal human thing he was unaware of

…this leads to him asking Silver why he never bites anyone

After finding out that it’s out of love, he accepts and loves whenever you bite him

He won’t be ashamed at all even if it’s in front of others

In fact, he kinda wants other people to see so they know just how much you care about him

Malleus wishes he could return the affection but he doesn’t want to bite you in fear of hurting you

His teeth are sharp and he often doesn’t know his own strength so he may bite to hard and accidentally hurt you

He would feel so bad if that happened

Do not let Sebek see you bite Malleus under any circumstances

That’s basically asking him to freak out and yell at you for hours

If Sebek sees Malleus accept it tho…he’s dying on the inside and you can see him struggle not to say anything in real time

Note: does Azul taste like octopus? Let me know...for science...

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tinydefector · 5 months

Note

Other characters' reactions to Megatron in a romantic relationship with human liaison reader.

Question's and Quiries

Megatron x human reader

Warnings: non

Word count: 1.6K

Request and ask open read pinned post.

Megatron masterlist

__________________

Many aboard the Lost Light would be shocked and concerned to discover Megatron in a secret relationship with the human ambassador for the ship. As Ex leader of the Decepticons, whose sole purpose has been conquest and destruction, becoming emotionally attached to an organic seemed unfathomable to many of the bots.

Word of the unlikely pairing would spread quickly through the vessel's corridors and hab suites. Many Autobots who suffered under Megatron's tyranny for vorns would recoil in disbelief and distrust, and even other bots more worried about the human, were they in a decent state of mind, were they being threatened?. Even neutral crew members found it difficult to accept. Had their captain truly changed after all this time? Or had he simply developed a new, disturbing method of manipulation? Either way, keeping the ambassador closely aligned posed serious risks.

Rodimus was the first to hear rumours among the crew of the Lost Light that Megatron had taken a human ambassador aboard as something more than a diplomatic liaison. He had heard it from Swerve who had apparently heard Megatron drunkenly confess he adored them, loved them even.

"Megatron? In a relationship with an organic?" Rodimus laughed incredulously. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Maybe if it was Optimus, but Megatron? He hates all other lifeforms." Rodimus had stated which made Swerve hit him with a cloth.

"I'm telling you he was mopping around the bar drinking Energex like it was nothing, trying to work on poetry, he's fraggin smitten with the Ambassador!" Swerve states while cleaning more glasses.

"The mech may scare the shit out of me but he becomes a sobbing mess when drunk, I can see why he never drunk during the war, could have ended it so much earlier with a drunken poetry night" Swerve jokes, trying to calm his own racing spark after the earlier interaction with the ex warlord.

Swerve, ever the gossip made news spread like wildfire.

Rodimus, Tailgate, Cyclonus and Skids and heard it from him. Rodimus told it to Drift who told it to Ratchet, tailgate told it to Whirl who shouted about it publicly. Skids had told it to Rung, who in turn relayed it to Ultra Magnus.

"Can you believe it?" Swerve asked other members at his bar, optics wide. "The big, bad tyrant of the Decepticons has gone soft! I never thought I'd see the orn." Though said lightly, there may be an undercurrent of hope in his voice.

Tailgate, on the other hand, would be fearful yet curious. A secret admirer of the human ambassador, they were friends in his eyes, he nonetheless knows of Megatron's violent past. The idea of a human so close to the warlord would fill him with terror...yet also he himself was with a Decepticon, ex decepticon.

As for Cyclonus, his reaction is the hardest to read. Stoic and stalwart, the former Decepticon says little. But observation of his microexpressions hints at deep surprise.

When Rodimus approaches Drift with a similar story, having heard it from several sources, Drift doubts begin to fade, he had watched them for a while but now it seemed as if he theory had been confirmed. "This can't be true... Can it? Why would Megatron bother with a human?, he isn't very... open to contact”

From there Drift finds himself in the medibay, Ratchet let out an exasperated sigh when Drift told him about the rumours. "Megatron, caring for an organic? I'll believe it when I see it with my own optics. That mech is still as twisted and dangerous as ever, no matter who he chooses to consort with.”

When news finally reached Magnus, an emergency session was called. Shouting matches erupted as Rodimus and Ultra Magnus demanded explanations, one in shock and excitement the other wanting to make sure This wasn't a ploy. How did this happen under their watch, and what were Megatron's real intentions? The safety of the crew and their mission was of utmost priority, something the ambassador's unusual relationship with the former warlord could jeopardise.

As chaos reigned aboard the ship, few knew what to make of Megatron and his human companion. But most agreed their unforeseen bond, if genuine, heralded great uncertainty for the future...Cybertronians had never tried courting outside of their own species, and so many questions came from it.

Rodimus couldn't believe it when the rumours started spreading. Megatron, in a relationship with an organic? It seemed too bizarre to be true. Rodimus decided to confront Megatron directly to find out if it really was true. He had found Megatron deep in discussion with the human, hands gesturing animatedly as they spoke. The familiarity between them was unmistakable.

"So the rumours are true," Rodimus said abruptly. "You and the... ambassador?"

Megatron turned, his optics glowing dangerously. "What I do is no concern of yours, Rodimus." He tries to defend before eventually sighing and confirming. Megatron said impassively. "They enjoy listening to my writings, and I enjoy watching them when they work on their projects. Now leave us in peace." But when he confronted Megatron about it directly, the warlord didn't deny it. A smile crosses his face as he talks about them.

Rodimus shook his head in disbelief as he hassled Megatron for more information, how did a relationship like that even work, the size difference itself, one being Cybernetic and the other Organic.

Ultra Magnus was deeply uneasy about the whole affair. An organic aboard one of their ships was risky enough, but for them to be fraternising with Megatron of all bots it worries him. He had fought against Megatron countless times and seen the depths of his cruelty.

"Are you certain of this?" Ultra Magnus asked gravely. "Megatron and a human?" Ratchet could only nod grimly in response, he continues working as Drift sits off to the side. “Shocked me when the Ambassador came in for a health check, learned too much on megatron's interface life, for a lifetime” Ratchet confirms.

"What does this mean for our relations with humans?" Rung wondered aloud. "Will they still see us as allies?” he asked, slightly worried.

It seemed impossible that the Decepticon could truly care for another. He feared this relationship was merely a ploy by Megatron to manipulate the ambassador and advance his own goals.

But watching them had changed his feelings on the matter. Watching Megatron lift them up to watch the stars throughout the observation deck. Listened to Megatron laugh, a true laugh when in their presence. How Megatron went out of his way to make sure they were content.

"I do not understand," Rodimus said slowly, turning to his companions. "Has Megatron gone soft? Or is this some new trickery, like dont get me wrong I'm glad that they are happy but does it feel unreal to anyone else?"

Brainstorm, ever the scientist, was endlessly fascinated. "Just think of the advances we could make by studying their physiology up close!" he said excitedly. "Too bad Megsy's being so selfish, keeping them all to himself." Nautica smiled and reminded him that they was a person, not a lab experiment. But privately, even she wished to learn more about these "humans.”

Drift frowned thoughtfully. "The ways of the spark are mysterious. Perhaps even one as Megatron is capable of love." His optics linger on the Larger mech who was discussing paperwork with the human sitting on the table in front of him. Red optics look down at the human softly as they chat softly amongst themselves.

Ratchet scoffed. "Love is it? I'd believe Unicron had a change of sparks before Megatron. Mark my words, this will end in nothing but trouble and spilled energon. That human has no idea what kind of Mech they're dealing with."

Tailgate let out a squeak of surprise. "Aww, they look so cute! He looks like a love sick sparkling!" tailgate was wrapped in Cyclonus' arms as they watched the two.

Drift shoots Ratchet a look, in turn the medic sighs at his harsh words, he knew all too well what it was like falling in love with a Decepticon, he was being. A hypocrite and he knew it.

And yet, as they watched, Megatron's actions remained gentle, protective even, as he spoke softly with the ambassador. Rodimus found himself hoping against logic that Drift was right - that even the coldest spark held the potential for warmth.

Rodimus ran a hand over his faceplate. "Primus help us, the Senate is NOT going to like this." He states while downing his drink. "We'll need to address them, try to do some damage control before this blows up in our faces. Once we get back to Cybertron”

As for the senate, they were outraged that Megatron would fraternise with an organic, Megatron has a long and deadly history of oppression, war crimes, and casual disregard for other species.

Many councillors would express grave concern over any influence or leverage Megatron might gain through the relationship.

Some would even demand the ambassador be removed from the ship for their own protection. Cooler heads would argue for letting the relationship play out, while closely monitoring for signs of abuse or manipulation.

Ultimately, the senate would likely ban Megatron from direct contact with the ambassador until a full psychological evaluation could be conducted.

But after Optimus steps in stating it was inhumane and cruel they allow the two back together.

That night, Megatron spends it under the stars with his lover, both of them trading stories of poetry, philosophy, and astrology. In his spark, this was where he wanted to be, with them, and he would fight to keep that spot by their side.

#transformers #transformers idw #transformers x human #transformers x reader #transformers lost light #megatron #transformers: more than meets the eye #transformers megatron #megatron transformers #mtmte megatron #megatron mtmte #Megatron idw #idw transformers #tf idw #mtmte transformers #mtmte #tf mtmte

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sarabethsilver · 2 months

Text

Jess and Rory were bound to fall apart in S3. They were two teenagers living in a crazy town that put ALL kinds of pressure on them, they were headed down very different paths, and Jess wasn't ready for a relationship at that point. They had to go their separate ways for a bit.

But what really makes them tragic? Is that all of the adults - and eventually Jess and Rory themselves - come to understand their relationship's demise as entirely Jess' fault. And this narrative is really bad for both of them.

We all know Jess' mistakes in this relationship. The show makes a point to blow them up and examine them thoroughly, often with multiple characters chiming in to talk about how terrible Jess is. A single missed phone call, concert tickets purchased for the wrong reason (??), a poorly-timed black eye, a fight with Dean, the fact he left town. All of these choices are discussed and framed as solely Jess' fault. Jess' behaviors get no context. It doesn't matter that he was working late, that Rory yelled at him throughout that dinner, that Dean threw the first punch, or that Luke kicked him out. S3 decidedly concludes with Rory, The Poor Victim and Jess, The Jerk Who Broke Her Heart. The show never re-examines this perspective.

But if you pause and examine Rory's choices throughout their relationship, she doesn't look that good. Their relationship starts with a lie: Rory kissing him, demanding he keep it secret, and then ghosting him for two months. She's really angry with him when she returns, having sincerely expected him to wait around for her while she continued to date Dean. She withdraws her friendship while Jess dates Shane. She yells at him in the street, joining the chorus of townsfolk who publicly dislike him. She eggs his car and mocks him about it. She runs away from their first real kiss with zero explanation. She scolds him for kissing her in public, prioritizing Dean's feelings over her boyfriend's. She lies about Dean repeatedly. She gives him the silent treatment after a single missed phone call. She tricks him into attending dinner with her grandma, then yells at him the whole time. She spends the entirety of Kyle's party mocking Jess while ignoring his increasingly desperate pleas to leave.

Does any of this make Rory a terrible person? No. She's a teenager, and she was in a really complicated, no-win situation concocted by her mother and a slew of Stars Hollow adults who are far too obsessed with the love lives of teenagers. Rory's a people-pleaser and she was desperate to spare everyone's feelings, unable to accept that by nature of this situation: somebody was gonna get hurt no matter what. But in trying to protect everyone, she ended up hurting Jess the most. She doesn't trust him, she doesn't prioritize his feelings, and she doesn't communicate with him. She ultimately follows along with the town narrative that Jess Ruined Everything.

The really sad thing is that this narrative is bad for both of them. Jess ends up feeling like the world's biggest failure, fleeing town without a word and ending up totally alone. Rory ends up feeling like a helpless victim, utterly lacking agency in her own relationships. She is told, over and over again, that her relationship problems were not her fault. That it's normal to sit back, make no effort, and expect to be treated like a princess by a guy who has to read her mind and do absolutely all the work. You can draw a straight line from Rory being Blameless in the Jess breakup, and Rory having an affair with her married ex a year later.

What I would give for an effort to re-examine their relationship toward the end of the series! It would have been good for both of them to understand that they were both kids, they both made mistakes, but they both tried their best. There were no villains here. Just two flawed humans who cared about each other and tried to have a relationship before they were truly ready.

#lorelai and luke destroyed this relationship #and i will die on this hill #which is not to say that jess and rory could have made it work in high school #but they were never given the chance to navigate the relationship on their own terms #gilmore girls meta #i'm rambling again #jess mariano #rory gilmore #literati

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levisjinchuriki · 1 month

Text

forever yours - chapter 3

summary: seeing gojo show his true feelings only makes your decision harder

warning: so much angst, bring a tissue

word count: 3.7k

it had taken you a few weeks to speak to gojo again. he’d still pick up haru on the weekends and call him before bed, but you couldn't help but feel the tension between you. although he didn’t pressure you to say anything until you were ready, you could feel his expectant gaze on you every time he came to get your son.

gojo understood the weight of your decision and just how hard it would be for you either way you decided. he was true to his word, not bringing up the topic until you were ready.

you had stayed up most nights after the talk— thinking about what to say to him and contemplating on if it can actually work. you went back and forth in your head, driving yourself crazy and wondering if you really were for considering getting back together.

and a part of you- most of you- was truly scared. you were scared about the unknown, what would happen if you’d fail at trying to mend your relationship and for another heartbreaking experience. you’ve barely been surviving the first one. you’re scared how your relationship will change as parents if it doesn’t work out. you don’t want haru in the middle of something like that.

you made a decision to play it safe- to decline gojo’s offer out of the overwhelming fear in your heart and protection of haru’s childhood. it was more important to you that he be raised with two loving parents that can be civil to each other.

when gojo knocks on your door to drop off haru, you hold your breath. your son greets you happily and gojo gives him a big hug and a kiss goodbye before telling him to go play in his room.

you hold onto the door handle tightly, as if it’s your lifeline protecting you from your emotions. it was a hard decision to come to– one you’ve cried over for the last few nights– but the right one. at least, you hoped so.

“i’ve thought about what you’ve said”. your voice is tense as you fight through the pain. before you can inform him of your decision he interrupts you.

“i know you still have doubts about us– and that’s fair– but hopefully-” he reaches into his back pocket and places a stack of folded papers in your hand before continuing, “this will explain everything”.

you look down, confusion and nervousness swirling in your chest. for a moment, you think he’s signed the divorce papers and is returning back to you, and your heart sinks at the thought that he has given up on his promise before he has begun to fulfill it.

“what is this?” you ask, your voice wavering as you try to make sense of what you’re holding.

gojo doesn’t tell you directly, but you can see the intensity in his gaze, the silent plea for you to understand.

“just… read it when you’re ready,” he replies, his tone uncharacteristically serious. there’s a vulnerability in his eyes that you haven’t seen before, and it unnerves you.

you want to press for more, to demand an explanation right then and there, but something in his expression tells you to wait. with a nod, you accept the papers, holding them close as if they carry the weight of the decision you’ve been grappling with.

“okay,” you finally say, your voice barely above a whisper.

“okay” he says softly. he gives you a small, almost hesitant smile. “i’ll see you soon”.

before you can respond, he’s already turning to leave. the encounter is so unexpected you don’t have time to react as you watch him go, feeling a mix of emotions swirl within you—fear and uncertainty being at the head of it. when the door clicks shut, you stand there for a moment, clutching the papers in your hand, your mind racing.

with curiosity tugging at you, you move towards the couch, sitting down as you carefully unfold the stack. your hands trembling slightly, the papers feeling heavy in your grasp.

your eyes widen at the sight as you flip through the pages. the familiar scrawl is unmistakably satoru’s. hundreds and hundreds of handwritten words cover the front and back of each sheet of paper.

there are a million things i want to say to you, but i’ll start with the most important: i’m sorry. i’m sorry for the pain i’ve caused you, for the times i wasn’t there when you needed me, and for all the ways i let you down. i’ve replayed those moments over and over in my mind, and the regret i feel is overwhelming.

somehow, in just a few sentences, gojo has managed to strike a nerve. you close your eyes, hands trembling as you place the note beside you. you can’t break down now—not with haru nearby. you still have to make him dinner and give him a bath, and those responsibilities demand your full attention.

you take a deep breath to steady yourself. the letter isn’t going anywhere. later, you tell yourself. when the house is quiet and you can afford to let your guard down, you’ll try again. you’ll let yourself feel everything that satoru’s words will bring to the surface.

for the rest of the evening, you focus intently on your son, letting his presence be a distraction from the anxiety you feel every time you think about the letter. you let his infectious laugh and sweet voice comfort you as he happily chatters about his weekend. and when you tuck him into bed and watch him fall asleep holding his stuffed animal, you can’t help but linger by his bed and brush the soft white hairs back from his forehead.

—

the morning goes by fast as you get haru ready for school. he excitedly tells you about his field trip to the aquarium today, his innocent enthusiasm a bittersweet reminder of the simplicity you’re trying to preserve. you smile and engage in conversation, encouraging him to name as many fish as he can think of during the drive. when he runs out of new ones, he starts to repeat ones he’s already said, making you laugh.

as you walk him to the entrance to greet his teachers you squeeze his hand before kneeling down to his level.

“have fun on your trip, baby. be good today, okay?”. you know he will be, he’s never given you trouble before. he smiles and nods at you.

“okay, mommy”. he wraps his arms around your neck and gives you a tight hug. you hum at the affection and squeeze him back before letting go. you quickly remind him that you put some money in his lunch box so he can get something at the gift shop later. you also make sure to inform his teacher of it before she takes him inside.

it’s not long before a knot of anxiety tightens in your gut. you know what awaits you at home. the drive back is a blur, your mind too consumed with your own thoughts to process the commute.

once you enter your home you wrap a blanket around your legs as you nestle on the couch. you’re sure to bring a box of tissues over, too, fully knowing that this will likely be an emotional experience. with a final moment of hesitation you slowly open the letter again.

i don’t know if you’ll ever understand how sorry i am or how much you mean to me. nothing i write could ever truly capture the depth of my feelings for you. i’ve spent countless nights lying awake, thinking about all the ways i failed you, and how i let us slip away. i’ve made so many mistakes, and i carry the weight of them every day. but more than anything, i carry the weight of losing you. i miss us—the way we used to be, the way we could have been if only i’d done things differently. i know i wasn’t the husband you deserved, and for that, i am deeply sorry.

you were—and still are—the most important person in my life. i took for granted the love we shared, and i let my own shortcomings drive a wedge between us. losing you has been the hardest thing i’ve ever had to face and i hate myself everyday for it. i know i have no right to ask this of you, but please… read these words knowing they come from the deepest part of my heart. i love you, and i’ll never stop loving you.

as you read, a profound sadness envelops you. you’re overwhelmed by the depth of his words as he continues in great detail of his mistakes and broken promises, owning up to each one. the realization of how far you both have fallen from the love you once shared hits hard. his words are a painful reminder of why you separated.

your breath hitches, tears welling up in your eyes. the realization that you still hold such a significant place in his heart, despite everything, makes your chest tighten. his confession, so raw and unfiltered, breaks through the walls you've tried so hard to build and you can't help but feel a sense of longing.

i wasn’t there when you needed me most—when you were struggling, when you were hurting, when all you needed was for me to be by your side. instead, i buried myself in work and held secrets from you. i kept my fears, my worries, and my vulnerabilities locked away, thinking i was protecting you from the dangers of my world. in hindsight, i can see how wrong i was. i should have trusted you, should have let you in, instead of shutting you out. i let my fear of losing you drive a wedge between us. you reached out to me so many times, and i pushed you away without realizing it. you deserve someone who will be there for you, who will share their heart with you completely, and i failed to be that person.

his words are everything you've ever wanted to hear —acknowledgment and ownership of his actions. as you read through each sentence, a part of you feels a long-held weight beginning to lift. this is what you had needed all along: for him to truly see where he went wrong, to recognize the pain he caused not just in passing, but in full. his understanding, his willingness to admit his faults, and the depth of his remorse touch you in a way you hadn't anticipated.

i know that words alone cannot undo the pain i’ve caused or the mistakes i’ve made. I understand if you can’t forgive me. i don’t blame you if you decide not to take me back, it’s more than i deserve. you have every right to move on and find the happiness you deserve. but know this: every word on these pages comes from a place of deep regret and genuine love. i’m willing to wait, to prove myself to you, and to work through the challenges that lie ahead, no matter how long it takes. i promise to work tirelessly to prove to you how much i’ve changed. take your time, and when you’re ready, i’ll be here. know that no matter what, i will always cherish and love you. with all my heart, satoru.

over half a dozen pages long, his letter is filled with different sections, titles, and even little scribbles that show his struggle to find the right words. each sentence reveals his heart—his regrets, his apologies, his promises. it’s clear he poured every ounce of his remorse into this letter. there are areas where the ink has bled, likely from the tears he shed as he wrote, and fresh stains from your own.

after folding the sheets of paper back together, you sit in silence, the weight of satoru's words settling heavily in your chest. the room around you feels quiet and distant, as if the only thing that matters right now is the jumble of emotions swirling within you. despite the turmoil, you feel touched by the effort he put into this letter.

he isn’t begging you to take him back. the letter is simply a way to get his feelings, thoughts and apologies out– things he’s struggled with saying since your separation. he realizes there may be a reality where you don't forgive him and he has to learn to live with that.

you hold the pages to your chest, feeling the weight of them against your heart. the tears fall, warm and heavy, but you don’t try to stop them. each drop is a release of the pent-up emotions you've been carrying; sadness, relief, and a deep, profound sense of gratitude.

gojo's words have reached you in a way nothing else has. the raw emotion and vulnerability he’s shared almost feels like he’s connecting you to the person you once knew so intimately. as you cry, you can’t help but feel touched by the depth of his feelings. it’s not just an apology; it’s a testament to the love he still holds for you. the gesture is so thoughtful and has made you feel seen and valued in a way you had almost given up on.

—

the few moments it takes for gojo to answer the front door feel like an eternity, making it seem as though your heart is lodged in your throat. it had been a few days since you read the letter- you read it multiple times, actually. a thousand thoughts race in your head at once as you anticipate the conversation you're about to have with him. you’re not sure how the interaction will go, but it will offer one thing- closure.

when he finally opens it, his expression shifts from surprise to cautious. the late hour makes your presence worrisome and he can see the subtle signs of distress on your face.

“what’s wrong? is it haru?”. his voice is immediately laced with concern. it’s past his bedtime by now, and his mind races for a moment with all the possibilities of what could have happened at this time of night.

you shake your head. “he’s fine. he’s with my parents”, he takes a breath in relief as you ease his worries for a moment. gojo looks into your eyes, quiet as he waits for you to speak.

“i read your letter”. your voice breaks at the end of your sentence.

“oh” gojo definitely wasn’t expecting this, not at this hour. the simple word carries vulnerability, as if he’s bracing himself for bad news.

he steps aside to let you in before disappearing into the kitchen for a moment to get you a glass of water. as eager as he is to hear what you have to say, he also wants to give you the freedom to start the conversation.

upon entering his apartment, you’re enveloped by the overwhelming existence of gojo. the familiar presence of him transports you to the mornings you once shared. the warmth of the space, the soft lighting, the throw blankets on the couch—all evoke memories of the comfort and safety you felt when he was around. you notice the subtle, everyday items that you’ve walked by a thousand times over–- his favorite books stacked on the coffee table, the cozy slippers by the door, and the meticulously arranged pillows on top of the cushions that reflect his attention to detail. each element of the apartment seems to whisper echoes of the past. and it's those little details that end up breaking you.

the tears flow hot and heavy down your cheeks, pooling on the inside of your palms as you cover your face. your breaths come in uneven gasps, hitching with every cry as your sobs come in shuddering waves, each one breaking through the fragile barrier you had tried to maintain.

it’s overwhelming, this flood of emotions that you’ve tried so hard to keep at bay. the vulnerability of the moment is too great, and the rawness of your feelings too profound to mask. you let yourself be consumed by it, giving in to the torrent of sorrow that has been building inside you for so long.

gojo stands frozen for a moment as he emerges from the kitchen, his heart aching at the sight of you. he’s always hated seeing you cry. it hurts even worse to know it’s because of him. all of the pain you’ve both endured is because of him.

“hey” he coos. he wants to reach out and touch you so badly, to console you how he usually would, but he knows there’s a certain boundary he shouldn’t cross without your permission. it’s hard, though, to watch you struggle with your emotions so intensely.

tentatively, he places a hand on your shoulder, as if he’s giving you space to decide if you’re ready for his touch. the familiar warmth is something you’ve longed for and you find yourself leaning into that comfort, for the connection that once defined your relationship.

when you take a small step toward him, the silent gesture of vulnerability is all the encouragement he needs before he wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into a gentle, yet firm embrace. he has to hold back a sigh of contentment at the feeling of you in his arms for the first time in months.

in his arms, you let yourself surrender to the grief and relief as you continue to sob into your hands. you can feel the familiar warmth of his body, a sensation that both comforts and stings.

gojo is grateful that you allow him to hold you. his hand finds its way into your hair, fingers gently threading through the strands as he cradles your head.

“i got you” he whispers. gojo keeps his movements small, but reassuring as he allows you to feel everything. he feels the tension gradually leave your body as you manage to calm down enough to halt your crying. your chest still feels heavy, but the overwhelming flood of emotion has subsided into a quiet ache. when he thinks you’re ready, gojo tries to coax you into sharing your thoughts.

"talk to me," he encourages gently, his voice a soft murmur against your ear. "what's going on?".

you pull back a bit to wipe your eyes. gojo lets his arms drop, but remains close as guides you to the couch. he offers the glass of water he put aside and you drink it before speaking.

“your letter means more to me than i can put into words”. your voice is hoarse from crying. gojo’s features soften. “it was overwhelming, but it was everything i’ve been wanting from you for so long—acknowledgment, honesty, and the understanding of how deeply your actions affected us”.

you nervously play with your fingers as you continue. “but… i’m scared. what if we try again and end up hurting each other more? if things don’t work out and it affects us as parents? i don’t want haru to get caught in the middle of that”.

he understands where you’re coming from. your son is the most important thing to both of you and he doesn’t deserve to be robbed of his innocence.

“when we were together i convinced myself time and time again that you’d change and was always disappointed when you proved otherwise. i’m scared to go back into a relationship that’s already failed”. your voice breaks again.

gojo’s eyes study you. it’s clear you’ve thought a lot about his letter. he can see how every word he wrote affects you in a different way. he’s grateful that he’s at least getting the opportunity to sit down and talk to you about it. it’s a closure you’ve both needed for a long time.

“i’m scared too”, he admits. he had the same fears as you did. there’s no way for him to know that another chance will prove anything. “but i’m more scared of losing you for good”. gojo truly can’t imagine his life without you in it. you’ve been together for so long that you’ve left a permanent mark on his heart.

his words cut through you, making your heart race with conflicting emotions. you still love him—there was no denying that. but love had never been the issue. it was everything else—the dangers he faced, the secrets he kept, the life he lived that always seemed to pull him away from you.

“i don’t want to go back, either,” he continues. “i want to try something new, to build something better and be the husband i should’ve been, to take things one step at a time and see if we can find our way back to each other”.

the offer is terrifying. it opens up too many possibilities for things to go completely wrong, leaving you to grapple with the fear of falling back into old patterns and the uncertainty of whether things can truly change. there’s nothing holding gojo to his promise other than the hope that things will be different this time. it’s far too risky of an idea to agree to, with so many variables that could lead to more heartbreak and disappointment.

but as you look into his eyes, you see the man you had fallen in love with all those years ago—the man who had been your partner, your confidant and the father of your child. his eyes, though shadowed with regret, are still beautiful and hold the warmth and sincerity you’ve always cherished. the depth of his gaze brings back memories of the laughter and love you once shared and you realize that this is not just about risking another heartbreak; it’s about giving yourself a chance to rebuild, to rediscover what once brought you joy.

“okay,” your voice is barely above a whisper. gojo’s eyes search yours.

“okay?” he repeats, his voice tinged with uncertainty, not entirely sure what the small statement means. you nod, your gaze steady.

“one step at a time” you echo his earlier words. the phrase is more than just a reassurance—it's a declaration of your willingness to approach the future with caution and deliberate care.

a slow smile spread across his face, filled with a hope you haven’t seen in a long time.

it isn’t going to be easy, but this could be the start of something new—a chance to rebuild what had been broken, and to create a future where your family could be happy.

---

ch 4>

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starqueensthings · 8 months

Text

A very Crosshair Character Analysis

I posted a poll the other day looking for some opinions, and the prompt was: does Crosshair ever truly miss a shot? Meaning, of all the shots we’ve seen him aim and fire, how many of the few that didn’t land, were intended not to land? Does Crosshair have the skill and ability to land every shot he takes, and what of the ones that go astray (because there are some!)? The overarching, collective opinion (77% of votes) is that the sniper only misses a shot when he intends to, but let me explain why I was asking— the "methods behind my madness," if you will… (Fasten your seatbelts, and keep all extremities— and pitchforks— inside the ride!)

If Crosshair “doesn’t miss”, then there are some things that demand consideration and possible explanation. Please accept this weird internet essay as a deep dive into Crosshair’s character based solely on how I perceived his actions throught season one and two, and opinions I formed while watching his character develop. And while this could not be a Tech-approved analysis without touching on both his perceived good qualities and “flaws”, please know this is not a hate-on-Crosshair post.

Before I get into specifics, I think it’s imperative that we establish a basic understanding of his personality before the chip’s activation. While there is, sadly, not much “footage” we can use to form a true characterization of him, there are some instances we can touch on. The Skako/Anaxes arc from TCW and the earliest few moments of “Aftermath”, Crosshair is shown to be quite sarcastic, uninterested in trivial conversation, measurably combative toward those with differing opinions to his (seemingly all regs, including but not limited to Kix and Jesse), moderately argumentative toward leadership outside of his own Sergeant (mainly Rex, as Crosshair seems to have no qualms following Anakin’s or Cody’s orders), comforting to those who need it (Echo), and an overall good tactical team player.

So, let’s start this analysis by dialling things way back to their mission on Kaller and the complications that arose once Order-66 had been dropped. More specifically, hunting Caleb down in the forest. One of the things I noticed upon first watching that scene and every re-watch since, is how often Crosshair toggles back and forth between blaster bolt and stun cartridge on his rifle, as if constantly battling the indecision of exactly how he wanted to detain the Jedi. Now, if you remember, Tech com’s in and basically says [paraphrased obviously]: “Shit is starting to his the fan, we better get our butts outta here,” to which Hunter responds: “Can’t. Haven’t found the kid yet.” Crosshair then chimes in with, what I have long-deemed to be his catch phrase: “Wrong,” and proceeds to shoot the branch that Caleb is perched on. Not Caleb, who, in Crosshair's mind, should be the rightful recipient of a kill shot… the branch. Hmmmm.

If every one of Crosshair’s shots is so masterfully aimed that its deemed an automatic hit, and thus every miss is intentional (a notion of which I also believe, less one particular shot which I’ll touch on a little later), then there would’ve had to have been a portion of Crosshair’s cognition overriding that Order-66 command to eradicate all Jedi, even if it was only enough to fleetingly switch his gun to stun.

Not long afterward, we see his beloved Firepuncher saber-whacked from his hands, and Crosshair opts to then continue his attack with his backup DC17. Missed shot, missed shot, missed shot, missed shot. Were these blown shots intentional as well? And if so, why does he continue to assail the Padawan? Is Crosshair only able to fight off the command to kill Caleb while his finger is on the trigger, possibly knowing that’s when the fight against his own mind becomes most crucial? Is he clinging to some autonomy in the moments where he’s not posing an imminent threat to those around him, like during the flight back to Kamino? Or can he only resist the chip’s influence when the urge to do something terrible is paramount?

Let’s skip ahead, shall we, to when the Batch is attempting to flee Kamino with Omega. Crosshair sashays onto the landing platform in his new gothboy armour, fresh out of an undescribed chip “augmentation” procedure (whatever that eludes to), and proceeds to have a small stand off with Hunter— both of whom have their weapons directed pointedly away from each other (interesting). During the succeeding fire fight, we see Crosshair line up several well aimed shots, many of which appear to be only inches away from landing on their “intended target”. He eventually succeeds in shooting Wrecker in the shoulder, and I’d like to point out that this shot lands almost exactly where Wrecker was hit by the training droid some hours/days previously. Was the placement of this shot intentional? Did Crosshair pick that particular target area knowing Wrecker would survive the damage?

The shot I find most intriguing is the one near-perfectly aimed at Hunter’s head (lol— brothers). You know, the one where Omega saves the day by unexpectedly blasting Crosshair’s rifle out of his hands. If the chip's activation was the reason he was now hunting them and claiming their treason, why had that moment seen him hesitate? Perhaps he needed a second to line up his shot, you might argue to which I would say argue: we’ve seen him use the active recoil from that same rifle to line up his next shot many times in quick succession with a zero margin of error (see the Skako/Anaxes arc in TCW and the first few minutes of Kaller), including when each shot was aimed at targets both more dynamic in action and further away than Hunter was.

Crosshair then takes several shots at the ramp of the Marauder as they take off, all of which are well aimed… and simultaneously redundant; the passengers are taking cover in the ship already, the Marauder has begun its take off, the ramp is closing, Crosshair running whilst knowing he can’t reach them. I personally attribute those last few shots as tokens of both anger and resentment for being left behind, not ones made with the intention of killing. I think that he expected his brothers to know him better than to believe these actions were of sound mind— he thought they’d be able to deduce that he was fighting a losing battle inside his own head, yet they were quick to believe he would actually entertain such sudden and aggressive hostilities toward them.

At this point, you might be itching to argue that maybe Crosshair's accuracy is largely diminished when he opts for a pistol instead of his rifle, and while I can't dispell this theory, I can provide some statistics. We see Crosshair use a pistol only four times in the entirety of the show so far: 1. against Caleb on Kaller (objective miss), 2. against the Batch Batch as their leaving Kamino (objective miss), 3. against a soldier while he and his new elite soldier squad infiltrate Saw's camp (direct hit), and 4. against Leiutenant Nolan when that asshole he gets on Crosshair's last nerve at the Outpost (direct hit). I will leave it up to you to decide if the theory of whether his skill level changes based on the weapon he's firing holds any merit, or is worth further discussion.

Moving on— the 99-clan is reunited on Bracca. Let’s turn our attention to the shot Crosshair takes at Tech whilst the latter was emerging from the ion engine, and I’m going to include pics this time to support my assertion.

Crosshair has an undeniably clear shot— his line of sight is not impeded, there are no environmental or atmospheric disturbances to disrupt his composure, he was ready and waiting for them to appear. The shot that he fires lands a good distance in front of Tech. Though the unexpectedness of it was enough to startle the genius into nearly falling out of the engine, I believe it was intentionally aimed this way (see below). A warning shot if you will. A “Hello, I outsmarted you and am waiting at your point of attempted escape. Stop trying, and get down here because I don’t want my new imperial cohorts to take aim for me and kill you” shot.

The next arc (Ryloth) quickly demonstrates that any neurological augmentations he’s been subject to (at this point, I believe we've been shown two, but have been led to believe there were several), have had no effect on Crosshair’s infamous sniper skills. First, he fires a perfectly aimed tracking beacon onto the moving target of Gobi’s ship. Then, upon the ship’s return, uses a single shot to disable one of the engines; a shot taken from, what appears to be, several kilometres away and having the immediate desired affect of disabling the ship. Finally, he makes the astoungingly precise shot (and I’m using astoundingly very heavily here) of blasting Senator Taa in the head. This shot, more than the previously mentioned two, are a sign of his impeccable marksmanship. Let me remind you, he was an undisclosed albeit very far distance away, on the opposite ridge of an enshadowed canyon, and is still able to shoot the senator in a place in which HE WOULD SURVIVE the attack. And not just survive, “make a full recovery” as Rampart claims afterward. This is unrivalled accuracy, and while I do not support the assassination attempt in itself, I can not deny how much skill was required to have achieved it.

My next point is something I have always personally found quite compelling, and it occurs in an off-the-cuff, likely forgotten about piece of dialogue.

Brief context: Crosshair has scooped Hunter off of Daro, they’ve landed on Kamino, and the duo (and a third soldier) are on their way to the Command Center to await the rest of the squads arrival. One of Crosshair’s elite troopers waits until he departs the platform before approaching Rampart and saying: “I question the clone’s motives with his old squad. I don’t trust any of them.” I’m intrigued to know where such a potent mistrust began. Is it simply because he’s a clone? A person born and raised unnaturally in comparison to someone with a traditional gestation and upbringing? Or has this soldier previously identified possible cracks in Crosshair’s imperial facade? Has Crosshair failed to hide his distress in quiet moments where he possibly longs for the life he had with his brothers? What is it that triggers this soldier to suspect Crosshair has an ulterior motive in capturing his old squad, and one that they’re apparently worried would not coincide with Rampart’s ideals?

Ramparts reply, in my opinion, gives us a well disguised clue: “If his plan fails, none of them will be a problem any longer.” If his plan fails. Crosshair’s plan. Crosshair has a plan for mobilizing his old family into one place, and what is it? Is he concealing the hidden objective of a reunion with his brothers under the guise of squad assassination? Was it always his plan to eliminate his new elite squad members, hence the perfectly placed mirror pucks we see him utilize in the training room, to make room for his old squad?

Remember, Hunter asks him some time later: “So this was your grand plan? Bring us here and kill us?” Crosshair answers: “If I wanted you dead, you would be.” And this is a statement which I believe to be incontrovertibly true. He has never wanted his family dead, despite having both the resources and skill to ensure they would be if that’s what he desired, but no. He’s angry that he’d inherently felt more loyalty to them than they had shown to him; frustrated that their choices post-Kaller did not align with his expectations of their choices, disheartened that they hadn't initially recognized to his choices to be ones made outside his character, and Crosshair now eagerly rebuffs their every excuse. Reference the spoken: “They don’t leave their own behind… most of the time.” . . . “You tried to kill us, we didn’t have a choice.” . . . “And I did?”

And follows the: “We’re loyal to each other, not some empire.” . . . “You weren’t loyal to me. I was one of you. You may have forgotten, but I haven’t. And it’s why I’m going to give you what you never gave me: a chance…” conversation. (Just stab me in the heart and twist the knife around, Jennifer!!!! Ouch!!! I'm still not over this!)

Was this his plan? To lure his brothers back to their home, and indirectly beg them to join the empire? To offer them the chance to join the ranks of those who have relentlessly hunted them, in the hopes that there might be some semblance of safety in conformity? To reunite the elite squad that they were in the days of the Republic (the original elite squad of which Rampart is trying to replicate with tactically inferior recruited bodies), simply for the safety that joining the empire could potentially promise? Is this the first demonstration of Crosshair using hostility to shield those he cares about from the callous clutches of the empire that he’d become painfully familiar with?

Regardless of the still-unexplained motive, Crosshair’s plan fails. Hunter has either become, or has always been, as protective of his family as Crosshair is stubborn, and he would never willingly subject his brothers (and now sister) to a life of committing abhorrent war crimes in the name of an Emperor who rose, uninhibited, to extreme and unnatural levels of power whilst abolishing the Republic of which they'd previously served. That’s not what their squad was made to do, despite Crosshair trying to convince Hunter perhaps maybe it was.

Unsurprisingly, Crosshair’s pitch falls on deaf ears, even despite killing his elite squad as an offering of trust. Once the training droids have been taken care of and the fray had subsided, Crosshair stands to find Hunter now has a blaster pointed directly at him, as does Wrecker— (Echo and Tech, curiously, keep their weapons pointed away), and the tables have quickly turned. Hunter begins his own plea to his brother, and it leads to a very ambiguous admission. Hunter: “Crosshair, forget the empire. This isn’t you, it’s your inhibitor chip.” Crosshair: “Wrong. I had my chip removed a long time ago.”

What degree of this admission is true? All of it? Parts of it? None of it? Was Crosshair only told that his chip was removed during one of the apparently many augmentations he’d been subject to? Was it removed and replaced with an alternative? Or was it truly extracted, and his questionable actions have been entirely his own? If so, was it the fall of the Republic that spooked him enough to join the ranks of an unknown empire? Did the thought of disobeying orders bother him enough to sacrifice the family dynamic he’s always known, and replace it with a safe sense of conformity? And if this is the case, was missing all of the shots he’d aimed at his brothers, a veiled display of love?

Atop the water hours later, Tipoca City has fallen. Due to their imminent death, Crosshair and his squad have been forced to work together to survive. Tech makes a lingering comment about Crosshair’s unyielding personality being outside of his control, and it’s still ringing in our ears at this point because it implies that a lot of this misunderstanding may just be because of how strongly Crosshair forms opinions, and how only one of his brothers understands that about him. Omega is mid-drowning trying to save her droid friend, Hunter is .4 seconds away from leaping into Kamino’s frigid and turbulent waters to try and retrieve her… and we see Crosshair grab his rifle. This is a shot, of any, that I would expect him to miss— water both impedes and shifts the trajectory of a projectile and mathmatically accommodating for this would take some serious, well thought out calculation; the only usable light for aiming is from the burning remnants of their home, and the container in which Crosshair is perched heaves and tips with every wave.

But he doesn’t miss. He, again, demonstrates that he can make any and every shot he wants to. He lands his shot on AZI’s chest (not dissimilar to where he shot Wrecker, on an obviously smaller scale), and pulls Omega from the depths of the water. Upon turning to see his brothers poised and ready to shoot him if they deemed the need appropriate, I think Crosshair realizes how monumental the fracturing of their squad was. They have no trust left for him. His actions, powered by an inhibitor chip or not, quickly led them to believe he was not the person they knew him to be. As much as he desperately wanted to them understand how powerful the control of the chip was, they didn’t. And I think this moment robs Crosshair of some of his anger and resentment he harboured toward them, and reaffirms that his only option now is to follow the path he was first influenced to follow, regardless of if it’s what he wants now or not. He then chooses abandonment. He chooses to be left stranded on that platform, likely aware that the potential he’d perish there was high. His separation was now his choice.

Let’s move on to Season Two! Episode 3, appropriately named “the Solitary Clone”, indirectly shows us more about Crosshair than I believe any previous episode ever has. Crosshair’s marksmanship is, once again, on full display as he takes down an old separatist tank with one shot (I’m still reeling over it, ok? That shit made me horny). And I can’t move on from this episode without also mentioning how it ended— we know Crosshair has respect for Commander Cody, that was demonstrated by his willingness to follow Cody’s command while he rebuked others’ in the Skako/Anaxes arc. I think it’s also apparent by the return of his notorious sarcasm, that Crosshair is happy to see a familiar face, one of which he may have previously deemed a friend. Cody, in return, places tidbit of trust in Crosshair (I’m also going to link this post in case anyone is curious about my thoughts on Cody’s initial comments). Not only does the commander inch toward the precarious conversation about “going rogue” and the Order-66 debacle, but Cody lets Crosshair take the lead after their shuttle crashes on Desix. “Trust me,” Crosshair begs, and Cody accedes.

They gain access to the strong hold; Crosshair, Cody and Nova (RIP) struggle only mildly with the droid forces ("Droideka's."). Crosshair demonstrates more inhuman trigonometry abilities and immaculate skill by using those mirror pucks to shoot around corners. Cody saves Crosshair’s tushy when a Commando droid gets a little too close to the sniper. Crosshair lowers his weapon at Cody’s request while they negotiate with Tawny Ames, a motion he had otherwise refused earlier in the episode (the civillians they come across behind a closed door— Cody lowers his gun and reassures them, Crosshair does not.) And when the Empire shows its true colours by demanding that Cody renege on his promise of peace and assassinate the governor, Crosshair does not hesitate to answer the call.

Now superficially, this act would appear as nothing more than a repeat of his crimes on Onderon, or Crosshair simply “following orders” as he had previously developed into a sort of mantra. But I think it’s much more layered than that. I think Crosshair recognized that Cody would be subject punishment did he not comply, a notion reinforced by his extended time at Rampart’s elbow, where it was regularly displayed that clones were of little significane and use to this new military regime. What would happen to Cody as a result of his disobedience? Would he simply be demoted from Commander? Would he be court-martialed and questioned? Detained and imprisoned? Killed? Is this why Crosshair took action into his own hands, and “did what needed to be done”? To protect Cody from the repercussions of disobeying a direct order? Or, more harrowingly and something that I am more inclined to believe, was Crosshair protecting Cody from the poignant shame and self-hatred that he knew the Commander would feel if he DID comply? Was Crosshair unwilling to let the mind of another clone be tainted by the emotionless demands of the empire, so he took the action upon himself? Was his objectively unnecessary and cruel attack, an action of deep seated respect and appreciation? Is this why Cody's comment about living with the consequences of their decisions affects Crosshair so deeply as they separate at the end of the mission?

Let’s dial back to the debated intention of Crosshair’s shots— are his missed shots deliberately missed? Our next stop on this journey is The Outpost (my personal favourite, and not because of the dreamy, sardonic, bearded Commander Mayday), but because of the overt growth that we see Crosshair attain. (Here’s an analysis I posted a while back about some of the messages I think the writers were trying to convey via symbolism throughout Crosshair's episodes to this point). If you've read it and even partially subscribe to my theory, then we can agree Crosshair’s mentality has been shifting little by little since we saw him last, and his attachment to Mayday (and the adjacent benefit that Crosshair rediscovers in companionship and brotherhood) is proof of this. So here’s what happens— raiders make it inside the perimeter of the Outpost thanks to limited man-power and degrading equipment. Crosshair heads directly to where he knows he can play to his strengths: high ground. He’s taking quick and careful aim at the retreating insurgent when the nearby shuttle explodes, and something peculiar happens. Whether it be the blinding flash of the explosion magnified significantly by his riflescope that had caused him such immediate discomfort, or something more (chip alert? Maybe? Or residual effects of having it augmented so many times?), but Crosshair’s subsequent shot is not of his regular quality. He hits his target, so I am not deeming this as a shot missed, but Crosshair has a track record of “one-shots” or “kill shots” of which this is not.

I’m inclined to ramble on for centuries about this episode because there is simply so much development, growth, and symbolism that occurs in those 28 minutes— it’s truly a masterpiece in story telling, but I’ve deviated too far from the intention of this essay (novel) so let’s trek forward.

Let’s get to Tipping Point, and what I would deem to be his only failed shot (and the implications of what it might mean). Crosshair has been sedated, interrogated, injected, neglected, confused, and abused since arriving on Tantiss. (You guessed it, I also have an analysis of this episode, structured a little differently than my previous but still helps to break down what I deem to be the motives behind his actions). Hemlock first attempts to bribe Crosshair with his freedom in exchange for information on his brothers, and as such, divulges his true need for Omega. Crosshair, who has never really had the chance to bond with her like his brothers have, refuses to provide any information. And why? Having only a surface level relationship with Omega, and having rebuffed her advances for companionship several times, why would he protect her in the face of imminent chemical torture? Because it directly protects them, and they are no longer being hunted by a squad of recruited bodies lead by an angry brother... but by a twisted and cruel doctor who's methods were proven unorthodox and tortuous upon immediate introduction.

Upon awakening from another round of interrogation, Crosshair understands the time to act is diminishing quickly, as is his ability to refuse Hemlock the information he wants. Each interrogation leaves him physically and mentally weaker; the time is act is now. He shoots and kills the pair of troopers, as well as the interrogation droid, with no difficulty. He stuns Emerie the scientist (possibly recognizing her clone accent for what it is, thus opting not to kill her?), steals her access card, and stumbles from the room. His body is no where near recovered from whatever toxin that droid injected him with, and he staggers through the unknown halls. Quickly coming across a pair of troopers guarding a doorway, the next shot is the only one that I believe he truly missed, and understandably so. It lands on the wall between their heads, and Crosshair quickly realizing his failure, shoots them with the following two rounds.

While missing that shot is largely inconsequential to the overall story, I think it’s an important anecdote for his character growth. In that moment, Crosshair is both physically weakened and mentally desperate to get a message to his brothers, and it’s the combination of those that had his aim faulty. He’s found himself nothing more than a man broken… stripped of the celebrated titles he’d once possessed and mentally mined until simply raising and aiming a blaster, a motion he’d once found more innate as breathing, was a motion difficult for him. He's forsaken his family, lost his purpose, been rendered nothing but an experiment and a tool.

So to summarize this egregiously long essay of Crosshair’s character, I’d like to reiterate that he is human. As we all do, he has faults. A lot of his reasoning is arguably flawed. He makes poor decisions, often in haste without considering the ripple effect it may have. He is extremely stubborn, and he does not communicate well. And there are things he’s done and decisions he’s made that I can not personally elucidate and would love to openly discuss with other Crosshair enthusiasts (example, trying to incinerate his brothers in an ion engine— did he assume Hunter would double back again, and this is Crosshair’s attempt at forcing them into the open? Or is this one of the moments when he cannot fight off the chips control?). You don’t have to like him. You don’t have to agree with him or anything he says. You don’t have to like me or agree with anything I say, but as we head into the third and final Act of this remarkable story, it is worth determining which of his actions are superficially misunderstood, and which have a deeper meaning that a casual viewer might simply overlook.

Thank you for attending the Ted Talk that no one asked for.

Holly ♥️

**forewent the taglist as this is not my typical content

#Crosshair character analysis #character analysis #long post #starqueensrandomthoughts #the bad batch #tbb #bad batch #tbb crosshair #Crosshair tbb #batch batch Crosshair #Crosshair bad batch #please don’t attack me lol

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talkbycolor · 4 months

Text

john doe game headcanons . . . ↷

A/N; THIS IS, FINALLY AND IM SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG, basically how your family or Doe would react at getting to know each other, thanks @hytorok for asking

Pairing; "John Doe" x GN!Reader

CW; i guess its fluff omg

john doe meeting your family.

To no one's surprise, the first interaction would be horrible, imagine introducing your boyfriend to your family and said boyfriend is a dirty ball of fur.

John Doe tries, he really does, he wants to be a part of your life forever and at first he may not understand what that means regarding your other family relationships, but one explanation later and he'll be trying to make himself look as good as possible. as normal as possible, not because he wants your parents to like him, he just doesn't want anyone to oppose his relationship.

He's definitely going to screw up at some point but hey, it's the thought that counts.

First, speaking of your parents, assuming that MC has a mother and father in contact, REGARDLESS OF WHAT THEY ARE OR HOW TOLERANT THEY APPEAR, they simply don't know how to react, even if Doe changes his appearance to a more "appropriate" one they can perceive that something is out of the ordinary so they would be quite cautious about what they have to say in front of you or Doe.

In case MC has siblings, surely they would do everything possible to humiliate you in front of Doe, but oh surprise, Doe likes weirdos so it won't work.

As time goes by and if they see you happy and healthy with Doe, the waters would surely calm down. AND EVERYTHING WOULD GO TO SHIT WHEN DOE HAS HIS "NORMAL" APPEARANCE AGAIN, whether it's the hairball or the 4-fingered thing.

Things would be incredibly difficult, if it went to extremes you would have to defend your partner from your own family (And convince Doe that this problem has a solution before he tries to kill someone).

He would need a lot of affirmation and encouragement during that time, it's not that he cares about anyone else's opinion, he's just terrified that you prefer your family over him.

"There's no way you guys actually have sex, is there?" your uncle asks.

Your other family members have many opinions on the matter, perhaps most of them not so acceptable and would want their children away from Doe, but they all keep their words to themselves when they see you happy.

Moving on from the initial prejudices you would finally be allowed to take Doe to family events, your aunts would tell him to invite you to the dance floor even.

If you have nephews or little siblings, they would like to spend time with Doe, mainly because they share a certain naivety in their mentality and the little ones are curious about the strange appearance of your partner, although you would have to be careful that they do not pull too hard on Doe's hair.

Even though Doe went into it with the mentality of wanting to be accepted so you wouldn't abandon him, he could genuinely enjoy feeling welcome and part of a family. He's not willing to lose that. Never. (congrats now you reached another level on his yandereism)

After the initial discomfort, your family would ask many questions, not only to you but also to Doe, although he would probably prefer that you answer it (social anxiety).

"When is the wedding?" your aunt asks.

You just love your boyfriend, don't you?

He's still a weirdo but as long as he makes you happy (and doesn't kill anyone) everything's perfect, right? (your family demanded that Doe not bring rats to parties or eat teeth in front of the children).

♡

#yandere visual novel #yandere #yandere x reader #john doe game #john doe #john doe x you #headcanons #lgbtqia

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beautifulbows924 · 5 months

Text

Common Ground

Act One!Astarion x Gender Neutral!Reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 650+

A/N: This fic is sort of a combination of a few of the (comparatively) similar requests I received, along with one particular scene that’s been running wild and ping ponging around in my brain for far too long. I somehow convinced my partner (who could not care less about fanfiction, but adores me) to proofread this for me. So any complaints should definitely be addressed to them—as I was, unfortunately, far too sleep deprived to read over this anymore than I already have. As always, I hope you enjoy—feel free to leave any feedback you have in the comments, and happy reading! :)

Warnings: Angst, intentional allusions to past SA (the circumstances are left purposefully vague), concerning both Astarion and the Reader, writer will often suddenly break off into unexpected poetic tangents, a smidge of fluff—if you squint, & perhaps a bittersweet ending (depending on how you interpret it?)

“Darling”, Astarion carefully poses his words, “Are you certain that you’re quite alright?”

You’re terrified. He can see it. Your pulse is visibly thumping beneath your skin, and there’s a tremor to your hands he’s certain wasn’t there before.

But why now?

You’ve told him you trust him, demanded the others leave if they weren’t willing to accept the gift that is his company, and mere seconds ago offered yourself to him as a meal—to what you, with both intimate knowledge and first hand experience, know is a hungry vampire.

He would be questioning your sense of self preservation, or alternatively, your sanity. If he wasn’t awed by just how quickly you’ve managed to sway your companions' loyalty.

It takes a moment for you to notice he’s asked you a question. But once you have, you nod.

He sighs, clicking his tongue at you. That vacancy behind your eyes, it’s unnerving, too familiar. “Don’t lie, it doesn’t suit you. What is it?”

Your gaze shifts, opting to search for what must be a rather interesting spot somewhere behind him.

Two breaths in.

Two breaths out.

Astarion falters. That may have been harsh—if your continued silence is anything to go by. Perhaps, he should have left the lie to rest.

“Dearest”, he works to intentionally soften his tone, shoving past the honeyed lump that rises in his throat, thickly coated with syrup. This little manipulation won’t be ending in a hand naively held between his as he leads you down unassuming crypt steps.

He knows that.

“If you’ve suddenly changed your mind about”, he gestures vaguely between himself and your neck, “I’m sure I can make do with whatever animals find themselves unluckily situated in this part of the forest.”

Humble or selfless certainly isn’t his favorite role to play, but if he wants you to be his personal guard, it seems he may have to make an exception.

“No!” You blurt out, swallowing thickly at the raised brow he sends in your direction, mouth suddenly very dry, “I—It’s not that. I swear to you.”

He tuts, “Ah, but it is something. Hmm?”

You nod again, frustrated tears building in your eyes as each attempt at an explanation falls flat.

“No, it couldn’t—it”, Astarion makes a rather exaggerated motion with both of his hands, clutching his chest in theatrical shock, “Was it Gale?”

You huff, but it’s more exasperated than annoyed.

The left side of his lips lifts.

You drag your own roughly between your teeth.

“Earlier, you made a comment about being quiet, not wanting to disturb my rest”, unsteady hands bury themselves in the fabric of your pants, “Those words, the sudden realization that someone…anyone could have access to my body like that while I slept”, your head slumps forward, “The last time—I can’t.”

Two breaths in.

Two breaths out.

Astarion’s fingers slot into place beneath your chin, tilting it upwards to look at him.

And suddenly all you can see are the differences.

Everything he is appears less forced. No longer are you merely an audience and he an actor, but equals. Those that have found a common ground built upon the cruelty of others.

Far too accustomed to it.

There’s a raw familiarity held within your expression Astarion can’t quite discern.

Perhaps, in another life, someone cared for him. Once. To look at him with such fondness.

He wonders if he deserved it, then.

He allows the hold he has on you to become lighter and lighter, until his arm returns to hang at his side.

You hear a weary sigh, then, gently, “For what it’s worth, I’m truly sorry.”

A small smile flutters across your lips, light and without expectation. It’s a kindness he hasn’t yet learned how to navigate—and certainly has not earned, but he yearns for it all the same.

“Thank you, Astarion.”

BG3 Taglist: None yet!

#bg3 #Astarion x unnamed reader #astarion x reader #astarion ancunin x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x durge #baldur's gate 3 #vampire spawn astarion #gender neutral reader #astarion x you #astarion angst #trigger warning: sa #fluff and angst #bg3 fanfiction

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etoiile · 9 months

Text

RAINY REDEMPTION

synopsis: your ex-boyfriend shows up at your doorstep, soaked from the rain and hoping for a second chance.

starring mikage reo!

genre(s): angst/comfort, fluff at the end, exes to lovers wc- 1.4k

notes: first time trying angst like this. hope you enjoy!!

the last person you had expected to see upon opening your door was your ex-boyfriend of 2 months, mikage reo. he stood before you, soaked from the rain from head to toe, wearing a sheepish smile that contradicted the unease in his eyes. "can i come in?" he asked, his voice laced with uncharacteristic hesitancy. "it's really pouring outside."

stunned and speechless, you merely gestured for him to enter, an invitation he swiftly accepted. as you darted wordlessly to fetch a towel, a tumult of thoughts stormed your mind, each raindrop that fell echoing a question.

what was he doing here? why was he out in the rain? he never ventured into this part of town. what's going on?

shaking off these thoughts, you handed him the towel. grateful, he quickly began drying his hair – the beautiful, fluffy hair you used to run your hands through, to which he'd almost purr as he melted into your touch. the hair that had been long enough for you to braid and accessorize, filling an entire album on your phone dedicated to the different looks you'd given him. it had been months since you last saw it, and now, with no explanation, it was in your apartment.

breaking the silence, you questioned, "what are you doing here, reo?" your voice, calm and level, carried a coldness unfamiliar to him. he disliked it greatly.

"i was taking a walk, and it started raining." he answered simply.

you knew immediately and without a doubt that he was lying. you knew him best, after all.

eyeing him, you demanded, "what are you really doing here?"

a chuckle escaped his lips. that low, boyish chuckle that still sent shivers down your spine. he scratched the nape of his neck before nervously joking, "you got me. you always did know when i was lying."

"what are you doing here, reo?" you snarled, a sharp edge to your voice.

panic and fear washed over his features before he blurted,

"i still love you, y/n."

you took a moment to process his words before your entire world began to spin before your eyes.

your heart pounded, and your vision got fuzzy. your knees went weak, feeling like they might give out. nausea hit you hard, and you wanted to faint, cry, and run away—all at once. it was like a rainstorm of emotions hitting you like a torrent, messing with your whole system.

"..no."

"no?"

"no!" you screamed, tears flowing. instinctively, reo reached out to wipe them away, but you slapped his hand away, making him wince.

"you cannot," you sobbed, "break my heart, tell me it's over, and not talk to me for months,"

reo's eyes began to water too.

"and then come marching back to me, and tell me you fucking love me, reo. no. you cannot do that to me."

"y/n," reo started, but you cut him off.

"i," you breathed through tears, "was just starting to get over you, to come to terms with the fact that you didn't want me around anymore."

by now, reo was freely crying too.

"and then you just waltz through my doorway to tell me you love me? are you kidding me?"

"y/n," reo tried to start again, coming as close to you as he thought you'd let him. "i'm so sorry."

"you're sorry? that's it?" you spat angrily.

"hurting you," he uttered, "was the greatest mistake of my entire life."

gently, he took your hands in his, relief washing over him when you didn't push him away.

"i did so much to tell myself that i'd be fine, that you were just another girl, and i'd find someone else." you almost rolled your eyes.

"but it wasn't true," he breathed. "not one bit. not even close. no one," he squeezed your hands, "could ever come close to you."

"i miss your voice. i miss your laugh. i miss waking up in the morning and seeing you smile. i miss spending time with you doing anything: cuddling and a movie, buying groceries, baking things, going to restaurants. y/n, i miss you so much my entire body hurts when someone mentions your name. i miss you, y/n, and i'm so, so sorry that i hurt you."

you're sobbing uncontrollably now, and his heart aches, knowing he's the one who made you this way. he'd always hated seeing you cry, but he hated it a thousand times more when he was the cause. he vowed to never make you cry like this ever again if you decided to let him back in.

hesitantly, he reached up to your face, fingers trembling with the fear that you'd push him away once more. luckily, you don't. you don't slap him, nor do you yell at him. instead, you let him tenderly wipe the tears from your skin, a silent ode to his love. it felt like a soothing melody in the midst of chaos, a gentle reassurance. you allowed him to cup your tear-stained face, a silent acknowledgment that, in this fragile moment, a sliver of hope had found its way into both of your hearts.

"y/n, i need you. the months we've spent apart have torn me apart completely. so much so that i couldn't even get out of bed to get to practice. nagi had to come get me out of bed, and that should really tell you something."

he winced as he observed your unamused expression, then took a deep breath.

"i know i can't change the past. no matter how much i wish i could, i will never be able to take back the harsh words i said. i will never be able to undo my horrible actions. i know i was a terrible boyfriend to you, y/n, but please. i love you. i know i need to respect your wishes and boundaries, but if you still love me too, i'm not going anywhere." he looked at you desperately, his purple orbs silently pleading with you. "do you?"

silence lingered, the air thick with trepidation. then, you broke down again, burying your head in his shoulder. "of course i do," you mumbled softly, sobbing. relief deluged his body, and his hold on you tightened ever so slightly.

"reo, i love you with every fiber of my being. i love you so much that i never stopped thinking about you for a single minute since we split. i love you so much it took all of my willpower not to jump into your arms the moment i opened the door. reo, i love you so much that it scares me." you confessed, your voice no higher than a whisper. if he hadn't been desperately clinging onto your every word and move, he wouldn't have heard it.

"then please. one more chance. we can make this work, i promise. i swear to you with my life that i'll be better. i'll make you happy. i'll do everything in my power to be the best lover you've ever had." he looks at you anxiously, trying to read your expression. "we can take it slow. ease back into it. but please don't give up on me, on us, just yet. im begging you."

in the quiet aftermath that followed his plea, a heavy silence settled. the air thickened as his words lingered, creating an atmosphere filled with uncertainty and anticipation. your contemplative gaze met his desperate one, and for a moment, time stood still.

"please, y/n. i need you."

you stayed silent for a bit, and he held his breath the entire time. his heart was beating so fast he thought it'd leap out of his body.

"ok." you finally sighed. "let's give it another shot."

elation, bright as the sun after rain, soared through his body as he engulfed you in his embrace. the warmth flooded all your senses as he squeezed you tight, never wanting to let you go.

"thank you," he whispered, tears soaking your shirt. "thank you so, so much."

a nod subtly affirmed, an unspoken acknowledgment of the gravity in the air. "yeah," you breathed gently, taking in what had just occurred. "it'll be ok. we'll be ok."

"i love you," he sobbed, the words pouring out in earnest. "i love you so, so much."

excitement and joy rushed through his body like a heavy downpour upon hearing the four magical words you next uttered:

"i love you too."

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radiant-reid · 1 year

Note

proposal idea

after every date, or every morning after ( 🤭), pretty much just whenever reader sleeps over, she makes spencer french toast the next morning

so when spencer proposes, he gets up early to make her french toast and when he trays it up he has the ring sitting on the side, like next to a flower or something 🥹

- 🥹

omg i'm a sucker for a proposal blurb

You're very confused when you wake up and Spencer's not next to you. After the evening, and then the night, you had together, it would usually be you getting up first. He's not the morning person he thinks he is, and you pretend not to notice. That's how the routine started, and it's continued since then.

"Spence?" You call out from bed, guessing he might be in the bathroom.

"In the kitchen, sweetheart!" He calls back.

You follow his voice through the apartment until you find your handsome boyfriend, shirtless and stirring pancake batter.

"What's cooking, good looking?" You ask with a smirk, resting against the doorway as you watch him.

Spencer laughs as he turns around, opening his arms up to wrap you in a tight hug. You rest against his chest with your arms wrapped around his waist and he places his head on top of yours.

"I love you." He says.

It seems... deeper than normal. Every time he says he loves you, it's heartfelt and sincere but something's different.

You tilt your head up to look at him. "What's up?"

"I just think you're perfect." He says softly.

"You know that's not-" Spencer places a finger over your lips before you can debate his claim.

"Let me finish." He demands, quickly adding some wide puppy dog eyes when you raise your eyebrows. "Please. I love you so much, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

You frown slightly, speaking with his finger pressed to your lips. "I want that too." You assure him, but it doesn't seem to be reassurance he's after.

"This should be okay then." He whispers to himself, confusing you. He shifts around you, moving so he's standing behind you with his head on your shoulder and his arms wrapped around your stomach.

That's when you notice the most gorgeous engagement ring you've ever seen in a ring box next to a single sunflower. In shock, your hand clasps over your mouth as your heart thumps hard against your chest.

"Will you marry me?" He whispers.

You're crying while you nod, moving your hand away so your voice isn't muffled. "Yes." Then it hits you, what it means if you accept his offer, and it's the easiest choice you've ever made. "Yes! Of course!"

In one swift motion, you turn around in his arms, cup his cheeks, and smash your lips on his, kissing him passionately.

Spencer goes in for another quick peck once you've kissed until you've run out of air. "Try it on." He nods to the ring.

You grin excitedly, picking up the box gently. It's even more shiny and bigger up close. "Wow."

"Good enough?" He asks with a huge grin.

He knows it is, but you assure him with a firm nod. "It's perfect."

"Put it on." He says excitedly.

"You should do the honors, Doctor Reid." You remind him, holding out the box. "Just for practice."

Spencer's grin remains prominent as he takes the ring out of the cushion and slips it onto your finger. "Okay, future Mrs. Reid."

That has your heart melting even more as you both admire the ring on your finger and how it looks like it was made to be there. "Why a sunflower?" You ask, briefly looking at the flower still sitting on the bench.

"They're a symbol of happiness, optimism, honesty, longevity, peace, admiration, faithfulness, and devotion." He reports in true Spencer-like fashion and his explanation makes sense, just like everything about being with him does.

#🥹#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid blurb

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paper-crab · 10 months

Text

3 times

summary: 3 times Matt helped you, and 1 time you helped Matt

warnings: exhausted college students, lots of crying, sleep deprivation, mentions of not eating, basically the college experience.

wc: 2291

for a chris girl i sure can’t seem to write anything about him

If you were to go back to the beginning, it’d make this an incredibly long story. In your sophomore year of college, you had decided living in an off-campus apartment would be a good idea; financially speaking. You were determined to get out of your parents basement and live your life for the most minimal price possible.

That’s how you ended up with Matt, in a homey 2 room apartment.

Matt was an environmental science major whose brothers had dropped out of college, leading him to finding a new place with one less room and with a new roommate to cut down on costs: you. It was convenient, and out of the candidates he’d interviewed, him and his brothers liked you the most.

He was a quiet roommate, and that made it easy to study without getting overwhelmed with your surroundings. The only time he made noise was when he invited his brothers over, and he was always sure to ask.

In turn, he expected the same of you. Environmental science isn’t an easy route to take, so calm work conditions were appreciated.

Despite your best efforts at improving each other's study time, things happen. You’re human; sometimes you get overwhelmed.

Three times Matt helped you, and one time that you helped him.

One

It was a random Tuesday evening of your first semester. You were stacked with homework for a music class; a required elective credit that was far too demanding. You were juggling an essay on the history of jazz, a report on a classical concert the college orchestra had done, and a small quiz on musical notation.

To put it simply, you felt fucked.

You were itching to take a break, feeling the tears flood your eyes, but you just opened the next tab- opting to finish your jazz essay rather than prioritize your well being. It’s funny how college does that to you.

You start typing, the clacking of the keys feeling entirely too loud. They were sticking in odd places, and the words just wouldn’t flow smoothly.

When you reread what you’d typed, it just felt wrong; like when you trip over a tiny pebble instead of smoothly kicking it to the side.

You switch tabs, to the concert report. A minimum of 3 pages accepted, and you have half of a page. Seriously, what are you even supposed to say? You only have so many ways to describe the resonance of the string section before it becomes entirely too repetitive and meaningless to your report. Now it’s not just the keys that are wrong, the brightness of the screen is beginning to bother you, but if you turn it down you can’t seem to see well enough.

It felt wrong; like when you see a perfect pile of leaves and go to step on them, but rather than hearing the satisfying crunch of leaves, you’re left with some wet mush stuck to the bottom of your boots.

You switch tabs, the tears threatening to spill out. Your vision blurs slightly as you open the quiz and begin reading the questions.

What the hell does this even mean?

Still, you trudge through, clicking random answers and praying to some god that you get about 80%.

When you finish with only 10 of the 15 questions being right, you’re a push away from breaking down.

“Can I come in?” Matt knocks. You want to nod, not trusting your voice to carry your words, but he can’t see you. “Yeah.” You say, voice slightly cracking. He opens the door, not expecting what he sees; you, sitting at your desk, an abundance of tears about to tip over.

Surprised, he hesitates, then asks, “What’s wrong?” in the softest voice you’ve ever heard. That’s all it takes for the sobs to begin, while you choke out some form of an explanation.

“Everything’s just… not right. I’m overwhelmed, I don’t understand my assignments; I’m lost.”

He listens attentively, stepping closer to you as you pour out your feelings, offering a comforting presence. “I’m sorry,” You say, too upset to be embarrassed to be seen in this state.

“It’s okay,” He says soothingly, placing a hand on your shoulder. “We can figure this out together. What class is it for?”

When you tell him, his eyes light up. “I think Chris took that one before he dropped out! Let me ask him to send over some of the work.”

“You don’t have to do that,” You start to say, but when he sees the tears get a little lighter, he decides it’s worth it. “I want to help.” His expression softens more, as if that’s possible. “Now relax a bit, we can do this.”

Two

The second time he helps you, you’re cramming a week before midterms. Realistically, you know you have time before it becomes a critical do or die situation, but that doesn’t do much to quell the panic rising in your chest.

You’ve done the required work, you know, so you should pass your midterms without a hitch. You reflect on the work you’ve done, hoping it’d help you gain some confidence, but it manages to do the opposite.

‘Maybe I should have done more?’ You think, self doubt and anxiety begin to creep into your head. Your hands start to feel clammy, and the pages of the textbook stick together a bit; it makes it that much more difficult to read.

You just feel stuck, like a jammed zipper in your favorite hoodie.

“Hey,” Matt walks in, not looking up. “We’re ordering Wingstop, you want something?”

“No.” You sniffle, expecting him to turn around and leave.

“What’s wrong? Talk to me.” He says, sweetly, pocketing his phone. You wipe away a little tear, trying your best to chuckle and lighten the mood. “Stressed over midterms. You know how it is.”

“Yeah, I get it. You’ve got time for a break though, right? Choose your favorite flavor, my treat, and come watch a movie with us, okay?”

You stand up from your squeaky desk chair and shoot him a smile. “That sounds nice. I could use a break, thanks Matt.”

“Of course.” He tells you, outstretching his arms. “Any time.”

The gesture makes your heart melt, and you feel overwhelming gratitude. “I appreciate it. Let’s make it a movie night then.”

Three

The third time Matt helps you is the one you hold closest to your heart.

You’re struggling with a group project for a business class you took; regrettably. You’ve messaged the group chat you made at least three times to no avail.

“There’s a frat party tonight, can’t make it” or “I’m not feeling well today, won’t be there.”

All you’re trying to do is get the group together so you don’t have to assign work to them like a kindergarten teacher. So, on top of your regular coursework, you’re stuck dealing with 3 other adults acting like 5 year olds.

You’re ready to rip out your hair.

Making one last ditch effort to save your sanity, you send out another, more pushy, text to the group this time. When you’re left on read by all 3 members, you groan loudly. You check over the assignment and do the work of putting it into parts, allocating each member of your group a task.

You give yourself the hardest part, because obviously, these people are incompetent. You shake your head, drafting a second message to the group chat that informs them of their role.

Suddenly, the two week deadline doesn’t feel like it’s closing in as quickly. You allow yourself to relax, receiving some thumbs up from your group members.

A week and a half later, you feel ready to assemble each part into a final project. It could be postponed, but if everyone was done, why not turn it in early? You send a message asking for everyone’s part of the assignment, and only one person responds, sending her part of the assignment.

You try not to stress about it, reasoning that there are 3 more days until it’s due. Maybe they’re just a little behind; so, you ask the next day, and the next, with no replies.

The night before it’s due, you realize you’re going to have to do the 2 slackers parts yourself. You text the other girl who did her part, asking if she can do an extra one. When she tells you she doesn’t have time, you want to explode.

“I don’t have time either jackass!” You say out loud, resisting the urge to type out a strongly worded text.

Your professor is known for being ruthless, especially when it comes to group projects, and you can’t afford anything lower than a C+ on it without your overall grade being tanked.

You break out in a cold sweat, opening several tabs on your computer as you begin to work on the missing pieces of your homework. There’s a reason you were given 3 weeks and not just one day to finish the work, and that was as a group.

You can’t help but begin bawling, still trying to see through the screen. The words were all fuzzy through the hazy mist of tears veiled over your eyes.

Your sobs aren’t even choked at this point, the familiar feeling of being overburdened taking over again.

Matt can hear, and feel, your frustration from his spot on the living room couch. He immediately stands up, concernedly making his way to your room.

He offers three quick knocks. “It’s me,”

“Come in.” You tell him, your voice quiet and strained.

Matt enters with a tender look. “How can I help?” He asks, not even questioning your distressed state.

“Don’t worry about it, I don’t need to make your life harder too.” You try to sound confident in your decision, but your voice falters.

“Just tell me what’s going on, I’m positive that I can help you. That’s what friends are for,” He offers a gentle smile, stepping closer to you. When you explain the situation, he feels angry for you. “That’s dicked,”

“Tell me about it. Now I’m stuck doing it all, and it’s so much work.”

“Let me do half of it.”

“Matt, I really can’t ask you to do that. I’m sure you’ve got something better to do.”

“Nothing better to do than help you.” He says, grabbing one of your hands. “Let’s get comfy and finish this shit.”

Matt stayed up with you until 3 in the morning to finish that god forsaken assignment. When you were done with the work, you turned it in and cuddled into Matt, falling asleep quickly.

“Thank you,” You whispered

“Of course.”

One

To put it lightly, Matt was stressed. He was juggling his regular coursework, along with the added pressure of finding applicable internships. His dark circles were getting worse, making his lack of sleep apparent. His hair was messier than usual, and he was sure his clothes were beginning to stink. He had been glued to his bed, several textbooks scattered on the surface.

His laptop was open, overflowing with tabs containing internship applications, and the smell of coffee and abundance of energy drink cans was not helping to clear his mind.

You didn’t know what to do to help him.

“Hey, I’m going out. Can I bring you anything back?” You ask, eyes roaming his face and body.

“No, I’m good.” He says, not even stopping to look up at you. You frown.

“Okay…” You say skeptically, dragging out the ‘y’. You leave the house, still struggling to get Matt’s pitiful appearance out of your mind. Your friends can tell you’re far off, in another world. You’re distracted, thinking of what you can do to help alleviate some of the weight on Matt’s shoulders; like he always does for you.

“I’m gonna head out,” You tell your friend, offering her a sympathetic look. Normally, she’d stop to argue with you, but you’ve been off. On your way home, you stop by Matt’s favorite restaurant, taking extra care to order his meal exactly the way he likes it.

When you get back, he’s in the exact same position as he was earlier, give or take a few new energy drink cans. He looks miserable, and you’re willing to bet he feels even worse.

“I got you some food,” You say in a sing-song tone, trying to get him to acknowledge you.

“Great.” He says, nose still buried in one of his many text books. He still doesn’t look up.

You place the food on his nightstand, leaving the room to grab a trash bag so you can pick up his litter. He doesn’t even notice that you entered the room.

“Matt, you need to eat. It’s going to get cold.”

“Can’t.” He mumbles, voice weak with exhaustion.

You throw the trash bag out of the room, turning back to face Matt.

“Matt, please? When was the last time you ate, or slept, or moved from this spot.” You ask, concern shining through. When he finally looks up, you notice how bloodshot his eyes are, as they begin to fill with tears. “I don’t know,”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” You say, crawling over to him, careful not to mess up his organized chaos. He buries his head in your neck, wrapping his arms around your waist as he audibly begins to cry.

“It’s okay, Matt. Take a break, you need to eat and drink some water, and take a nap.” You tell him, “You’re not a failure for needing to pause and take care of yourself.”

“I don’t have time,” He tells you, lifting his heavy head from your neck. “I can’t.”

“You do have time, Matt. Let me help you like you help me.”

#matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matthew sturniolo x reader

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