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#i literally say/do stuff like this all the time
evelynsgarden · 2 days
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hiiiii my first request on tumblr in awhile omg— i’m in a fluffier mood so maybe something w/ abby where she just reallyyyy really REALLY loves holding reader, like soft makeouts are her fav simply cause she has uninhibited access to just HOLD and caress and be loving. not even inherently sexual, abby just has to have u in her (juicy— WHO SAID THAT) arms, safe and sound and happy—she just glides her hands over ur shoulders, full hand grasp on ur thigh when sitting together, runs her fingers down ur back even when ur already zonked out cause its soothing to her. MAN I JUST WANT HER TO HOLD MEEEEEAHAHHHHH😩😩😩😩😭😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹🥹 hope this isnt boring to write and if u do it, thank you!!🩷
Abby Physical Touch Hcs
Cw/FLUFF THATS ALL🩷(might be a spelling mistake)
Requests are always open
‿︵‿୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ -୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵ ‿୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ -୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ ‿ ‿︵‿୨˚̣̣̣͙୧
Soft Makeouts: These are her absolute favorite. Not because of the kissing itself (though she loves that too-(same)), but because it’s the perfect excuse to pull you into her lap and just hold you. Her hands roam everywhere, up your back, over your shoulders, cradling your face. It’s literally perfect- (that and imagine her with an oral fixation too holy shit - just making out with you because she wants you in her mouth SO BAD OMFG- not even in a sexual way- just a “I really love and want you so much I can’t describe it” way)
Constant Touch: Abby always has to be touching you. Whether it’s her hand resting on your thigh when you're sitting together or her fingers gently trailing over your shoulders, she just can’t get enough of your skin against hers. If it’s a semi cannon au I think it’d be mostly out of desperation to not lose you, desperately seeking out constant physical touch out in fear that it’ll leave her- in fear that she’ll never get another chance to feel you again or be close to you.(ignore that babes- not getting sad with ts)
Cuddle Sessions: Abby is a cuddle monster. Movie nights? You’re in her lap, wrapped in her arms. Lazy Sunday mornings? She’s spooning you so tight you can barely move(gets mad and pouts if you need to pee- then proceeds to follow you to the bathroom and wait till ur done so she can drag ur ass back to bed) , but you love it. She loves burying her face in your neck, inhaling your scent, and just feeling you close.(GAWH INNEED HER PLEASE-)
In Public: When you're out and about, she always has a hand on you. Her ass gets soooooo jealous and has a point to prove, you’re HER girlfriend- not that bitch who was staring at you at Sephora. Girly has her arm on your waist, playing with your hair, shit she’ll give you a piggy back ride if you ask nicely enough. She’d also hold ALL your stuff, as well as switch shoes with you when you get tired of walking and ur feet hurt(getting off topic but anyway)
Nighttime Caresses: Even when you’re asleep, Abby can’t stop. She’ll run her fingers down your back, trace your spine or outline of your boobs, and sometimes, she’ll just hold you tighter. It’s soothing for her to feel you breathe, knowing you’re there with her, and for her. Night can be hard for her because of how night time usually brings darker and heavier thoughts so I can see her being extremely needy and clingy. (More than usual- shocker)
Little Squeezes: Randomly, she’ll just give you a little squeeze. Whether it’s your hand, your thigh, or your shoulders, it’s her way of saying, “I love you” without words. And she loves the way you always squeeze back ( if you don’t she throws you a lil :( face till u do-)
Thigh Grips: (She’s a thigh, tits, and ass girl but I definitely think she loves thighs a littleeeee bit more) When you’re straddling her lap, Abby’s grip on your thighs tightens, her fingers digging into your flesh. She loves the feeling of your weight on top of her, your body pressed against hers. It’s in these moments that she feels the most connected to you. She just loves how squishy and comfy you areeee. It’s also a huge ego boost knowing you feel comfortable enough to let yourself kinda go jelly like on top of her and just relax.
‿︵‿୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ -୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵ ‿୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ -୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ ‿ ‿︵‿୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ ‿︵‿
THIS WAS SO FUN! It was kinda rushed since it was cute and I really wanted to start on this :p nothings ever too fluffy babes! This wasn’t boring at all and I encourage u to send me more stuff!! THANK U🩷🩷
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yeostars · 1 day
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When ATEEZ members get jealous as ur bfs, reaction post !
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Hongjoong:
• tbh, he gets jealous quite often, even at the smallest stuff but most of the time he manages to conceal it well.
• He's immediately besides you and whoever that guy is that you're enjoying talking to so much, my man would literally burn holes with his eyes whenever he's jealous. seriously, he gives such an intense stare to the person he perceives as a threat, although he trusts you a lot, he tends to get a little too protective of you...... cuz he loves you so much, ofcourse. He clings his arm with yours, sending a signal that you're ready to go.
•"Who even was that?" He asks, annoyance oozing in this voice as you turn back to him. Or "I didn't know you were that close...." would be his classic statement whenever a guy he doesn't know seems to get a little too close to you.
Seonghwa:
• Seonghwa tends to get a lot more clingy than usual whenever he's jealous. Not just clingy, but he'll purposely call you as "honey" "sweetheart" "babe" repeatedly in front of whoever made him jealous and protective of you in the first place.
• Something like "babe, we're getting late, let's go." he says, while entering the scene, emphasizing on the word babe a lil too much.
• As he says this, he'll eye up the guy in front of you up and down, almost in a judging manner, and effortlessly snakes an arm around your shoulder, bringing you closer to him, as if sending him a signal that you're his and his only. After you're done conversing with that guy, he'll literally jump on you, asking "what did he say to you?" demanding all details of your convo with him.
Yunho
• Another one who gets jealous more often than he wants to. If y'all remember, yunho himself admitted once that he "gets jealous too much/often" soo it's safe to say that he would be quite possessive of his s/o.
• When he notices that you're taking too much time conversing with whoever is your "new company", he crosses his arms, sighing as he watches you both, and matches towards your direction with a blank expression and sour smile (which looks kinda scary tbh)
• And then, voilà, you're getting dragged impossibly closer to him by the waist. His arm slides under your waist sideways, his grip firm and tight and that has goosebumps forming all over your skin. He doesn't even make eye contact with the guy in front of you, practically avoids him and once you're both alone, he says "do you talk to him often?" sensing that you do and he hates even the thought of you being close to him.
Yeosang
• Yeosang isn't really the jealous type. That's just how he is, and even if the slightest pang of jealousy hits him he conceals it so well that you've never seen his possessive side before.
• One day, you literally asked him out of the blue "you've never gotten jealous before, seeing me with some other guy, have you?" and yeosang laughs, literally LAUGHS because that was so random. but you sounded serious so he had to stop laughing and give you a reply. "what, you want me to get jealous? possessive? wouldn't that be annoying though?" he replied, staring at you. "why would it be? it shows how much you want me. i would actually love it if you act a bit possessive of me sometimes." you say, pouting, and yeosang just kisses your cheek, saying "alright, I'll try."
• And when the day comes when you ACTUALLY witness him being jealous for once, you're satisfied with his reaction. Yeosang noticed that you were gone away for quite a long time and went looking for you, only to find you talking to a guy he didn't know and you seeming to enjoy talking with him. Interwining his fingers with yours in a heartbeat, he asks "Hope I'm not interrupting? Y/n, love, let's go now, it's getting late." And when you're both alone, you pull his cheeks playfully, praising him and begging him to act more jealous like this cuz that's HOT of him (did I lie)
San
• He's literally both cute and scary when he actually gets jealous. He tries his best to not get jealous of the smallest stuff but sometimes he cannot hide his jealousy.
• He's the type to become restless when you aren't around. Literally staring at you both while sending death glares to the guy in front of you, his feet tapping impossibly faster on the floor.
• When he decides that it's his last straw when he notices the guy trying to get closer to you, he's there besides you in no time, smiling sweetly at you, not even acknowledging that guy. Placing a soft, quick kiss on your cheek, he brings your hand to his, suggesting you to check out those other food stalls with him.
Mingi
• He's DRAMATIC when he's jealous. When the princess itself gets jealous? It's over for you. You have to give him hundred times more kisses, cuddle him the entire night and hold his hand till eternity, all until he feels better ;D
• He'll barge in when you and the unknown guy are having a convo, introducing himself as your boyfriend. He'll literally tug on your arm sleeves, a small cute pout forming on his face and he stays like that until you exchange your goodbyes with that guy, finally alone with him.
• Rarely, he gives you silent treatment when he gets jealous. And you're always able to tell that he's jealous from the way he gets too quite rather than being talkative as usual. He denies it when you ask him about it, but immediately dissolves into a fit of giggles and a precious smile when you kiss him firmly on the lips and murmur I love you all over again. Really, that's all it takes for mingi to feel assured and happy.
Wooyoung
• 100 % scary when he's jealous. A little dramatic, might I add. He gets jealous quite often and doesn't shy away from showing that he's possessive of you.
• His last straw would be when you're flashing your incredible eye smile to that guy in front of you while talking to him, a smile that's reserved for wooyoung only. He appears being you in no time, back hugging you and wraps his arms around your waist tightly, placing his chin on your shoulder, sending death glares to the guy in front of you, not letting go of you unless that guy finally decides to leave.
• "What was so funny that you were laughing at literally every word he said?" Wooyoung asked, bitterly, lowering his eyes. "Don't worry, babe, he wasn't as funny as you. No one makes me laugh like you do, that was just a....fake laugh." You assured him, pulling his cheek playfully. He shrugs if off and makes sure to cling to you like a koala the entire day.
Jongho
• Something tells me that jongho hates admitting that he's feeling jealous. He does get jealous sometimes but it's mostly when something he senses someone else getting physically closer to you. He usually doesn't have a problem when you're just having a conversation with someone.
• So, when someone does try to get physically closer to you, he's there besides you immediately, snaking an arm around your shoulder. otherwise, he doesn't approach the person you're talking to since he doesn't want to come off as clingy to you.
• "I don't get a good vibe from him. He was trying to get close to you all the time." He admits, not out of jealousy, rather protectiveness. "If he was, i wouldn't let him. Don't worry babe, he was just an acquaintance." You assure him, kissing him lightly on the lips, causing jongho's cheeks to heat up as he hums, satisfied.
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I wanna write a really mundane magic reveal.
This has definitely been done before (please send fic recs) but I’m procrastinating and really want to write it.
Literally nothing is happening, Arthur is having a bath, Merlin is tidying up in his chambers one night and everything is basically fine.
Arthur asks Merlin how he manages to always get the bath water perfect and Merlin jokingly says “must be magic” while he’s distracted, Arthur stops and starts thinking about all the fallen tree branches, how his armour is perfect and even if Merlin is late, his food is always hot.
So Arthur realises Merlin is a sorcerer, but not a very good one if all he can do is boring stuff with chores. And if he’s not using magic to defeat all the bandits, it must be because he can’t defeat all the bandits. Not that he’s trying not to die or anything. In fact, the thought of killing Merlin, or of Merlin being punished for his magic, never even crosses his mind.
Arthur shrugs, because Merlin made the joke before, it was just his fault for not noticing it, also his father is still king, so it’s probably for the best that Merlin never said anything, and he tells Merlin to be careful about his magic and to only use it if he’s locked the door.
Merlin’s too shocked by the easy acceptance to panic, so he’s just like: “you’re cool with it?”
And Arthur, oblivious but in love, is just like “well, at least you’re good at something.” Because, sure, Merlin isn’t powerful, but he’s not about to piss off the guy who gives him perfect baths. Then he’s like, “maybe figure out how to lie so my father doesn’t find out about you though. We can figure out the ban once I’m king”
I’m picturing this to be in early/mid season two. Morgana never turns evil, Merlin helps her with her magic because I said so.
So Merlin and Arthur have a while for Arthur getting used to Merlin magically lighting fires, sharpening his sword, adding protection charms to his armour, heating his baths, removing stains from his clothes and even putting them back to being like new if they lost buttons or anything.
Then they go to find the dragonlord, Balinor survives also because I said so.
Merlin tells Arthur Balinor is his father in the inn before they meet him. Arthur is a little worried for Merlin, but ultimately happy for his friend.
Then Merlin uses magic infront of Balinor and Arthur after Merlin told Balinor that he’s his son. Balinor shoves Merlin behind him protectively and Arthur is confused, “why would anyone assume he’d hurt Merlin? It’s Merlin. If anything, he’s more useful as a servant and more honest as a friend since he found out about the magic.”
Balinor is floored by it, and starts treating Arthur a lot better. Arthur gets to ask about pre purge stuff, Balinor tells him a bit about his mother from when her parents visited his when they were kids, then about Ygraine visiting the dragons and how she, Balinor and others in court at the time were friends.
They take him to Ealdor after the dragon is defeated/banished and Arthur looks over at Merlin and realises “oh my god, you summoned the wind.”
And Merlin is like, “yeah? No big deal.”
So Arthur is left wondering why Merlin is downplaying what he thinks is the strongest bit of magic he’s ever done. He comes to the conclusion that Merlin is embarrassed that it was a fluke, he tries to reassure Merlin that he can always practice and learn to do stronger magic like that. Merlin is confused because the wind wasn’t strong magic?
Balinor realises what’s happening and decides he wants nothing to do with it so he stays quiet. (He’s already sensed a lot of power from Merlin, so he knows he’s strong.)
Anyway, they keep going to Ealdor. Merlin still hasn’t caught onto the fact that Arthur thinks he’s a weak sorcerer, Arthur hasn’t caught on to Merlin being strong and just thinks he’s a little bit embarrassed about not being that strong of a sorcerer.
Then they get to Ealdor, everything is great for about two days until it starts down-pouring. Enough rain to flood the village and everyone is worried because Cenred or Lot(?)(I don’t remember when Cenred dies in canon) isn’t going to do anything because he just doesn’t care so their fields will flood and they’ll starve and not be able to afford taxes.
Arthur tries to reassure Merlin that it’s okay, but Merlin just hums. He asks Arthur if they can still lie and say they were on a hunting trip if he does something about the rain, Arthur tells him he shouldn’t push himself or anything, but Merlin says he won’t and Arthur trusts him so it’s fine. Merlin then goes outside and casually stops the rain, clearing the clouds and moving the rainwater into the river.
Arthur is shook.
Then he’s got to realise that Merlin is powerful, but again he never lied about it so he can’t really get mad, so he decides it’s better to just be shocked and carry on as usual until he gets used to the idea that Merlin is stronger than he looks.
There’s also a little bit of a bi panic in there somewhere because Arthur definitely has a thing for competency. We all saw his crushes on Gwen, Merlin, Lancelot, Mithian if she wasn’t just the wrong person for him, I’m pretty sure Percival too. There’s definitely others I haven’t noticed or forgot about. You get the idea though.
He sees Merlin being good at Magic and is suddenly very confused by the feelings he’s too emotionally stunted to recognise. Even if it’s just small things, Merlin is good at something and ‘what the hell happened to the bumbling idiot who forgot to hand him his sword the first day? What? Huh?’
Then after he accepts Merlin is really good at magic, he decides: “great! He can train with me now! :D” and he drags Merlin out of Camelot to spar which is basically just Merlin teaching Arthur how to defend himself against magical attacks. Arthur thinks he’s helping Merlin to protect himself because ‘if all he can do is wind that’s hardly an offensive attack so he needs more help mastering that. And considering no one else knows, it’s my responsibility to make sure he’s safe if he ever needs it.’
Merlin is just glad to be accepted and that Arthur is willing to learn how to protect himself against the numerous magical attacks every week so he lets Arthur think whatever he wants about why they’re sparring.
But yeah, there’s minimal trauma, it’s not a big deal and they get the happily ever after they deserved.
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teojira · 1 day
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Really enjoyed your headcanons on Caeser and Proximus, do you mind doing the same with Noa?? 😊🙏
[Noa and day to day life with him!] [Headcanons!]
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Summary: Noa takes you back with him to his home, and the clan accepts you as one of them. Even if you're concerned otherwise.
Word count: 1k (Jesus christ)
Warnings: None that I can think of! Can be read as Platonic or Romantic! You and Noa are attached to one another. (Yes, this is me projecting.)
A/N: Noa is so near and dear to me, I literally did not mean for this to be so long, and I STILL cut myself off. This is 1k words worth of headcanons for him, and it is not enough. I'm Noa's #1 fan, I am sorry to all my friends and family who have to hear me talk about him constantly.. Ask me for Noa anything, and I will give you the world.
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Do me a favor and strap the fuck in for this it's alot.
I am so glad someone asked about Noa bc I got ALOT to say.
Noa has had it with humans, Mae put him, his clan, and countless others at risk, he should not trust humans, really he shouldn't, but he can't help it. She also betrayed you in the process, and now you're alone.
You agreed to help him and Mae against Proximus, you're the only one who actively goes up against Proximus as well.
Swinging and trying your best to try and get Proximus off of Noa, yelling and crying while the other apes just stare in fear. (Later on they apologize, but you don't hold it against them.)
It's a huge risk to invite a human with them again, but then he remembers Rakas words, Caesars words, and decides he can't told another's decisions over you.
So when he gently grabs your hand in his, looking down at you with a strained smile, blood seeping from his lips, you follow, back to his clans land.
Now on to the good stuff, it's kinda awkward finding your place among the eagle clan, the elders are gone, his father Koro is gone, there really is no guidance as to where to place you.
You drift mostly, either helping Dar or helping with the young ones, teaching them how to read and write, helping fish, farm, the basic tasks.
Dar loves you by the way, doting on you and making sure no one messes with you in a harmful way. She teaches you their customs and traditions, all the while playfully teasing you about Noa. She's a mom, she knows.
You're happy with your work, happy with your place among the clan. It's genuinely shocking how much they were willing to forgive and to not hold any grudges against humans after one ruined everything.
It helps that Noa takes accountability for you, somehow so trusting that you will not cause harm. His faith in you speaks volumes and you remind him everyday that it won't go to waste.
All he does is send you a sweet smile and ruffles your hair.
You find yourself helping Noa alot with crafting new tools and contraptions, being a second pair of eyes that can catch onto things he can't.
"Very smart." "Thank yo-" "For an Echo." and he does that stupid cute little sniff afterwards and it makes it tremendously hard to hit him.
He's such a little shit I fucking hate him.
You're his shadow when his duties permit, he's taken on a higher role of the clan, sometimes going out for days at a time but you're always at the edge of the Village waiting for his return, anxiously working your bottom lip until you see him in view.
You're both extremely attached to one another, Soona and Anaya become attached to you too, dragging you along in everyone's free time to go climbing, to eat, to hunt, just about any group outing has you as their fourth member.
Noa was worried about them accepting you, but they love you just as much as he does.
It makes his heart swell when he sees you and Soona together, giggling about something surely only you both understand while Anaya groans and complains about being left out.
It's like you've always been meant to be with them, to round out their group.
Soona and Anaya will offer to be the one to carry you this time, they do want to, genuinely, but Noa won't let them 99.9% of the time, He's used to your weight, he trusts that he can keep you safe the best. (Says the ape that literally almost died multiple times doing stupid shit)
"Noa worries too much, they will be fine." "Anaya is clumsy. Can't trust you to carry yourself, much less echo."
He tries not to carry you everywhere, but it is so much more convenient than waiting for you, so he scoops you up often enough that the stares don't bother you anymore.
Remember how in the movie, all the apes sleep together communally? Well you're at first extremely nervous about that, not wanting to ask what exactly are your accommodations because surely they don't want you there with them.
Actually, Noa does, so jot that down.
When you shyly move away, he raises his palm up at you, nodding to the space besides him.
When you don't move, he gently tugs you down, laying on his back and shutting his eyes. The clan hasn't really fully rebuilt and started to gather things needed for shawls and coverings, so it's not strange to him that you cuddle up to him to steal his warmth, peeking an eye open to see your face squished into his side, knocked out.
He wraps an arm around you, incasing you in more warmth.
This is a nightly routine until you finally take it upon yourself to throw yourself on him, he chokes out a breath as you make yourself comfortable.
Soona and Anaya usually join in, he cannot fucking breathe but he's so happy that it outweighs it.
When Mae inevitably shows back up, she sees you out in the distance, you look so genuine happy, so at peace with where you are. You even have some eagle feathers in your hair, integrated into their life that it shocks her.
It's enough to make her put the gun away, grasping at Rakas necklace like a lifeline, sucking in a deep breath to stop her from crying.
Maybe apes and humans can live at peace with one another after all. She hopes you prove her wrong.
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ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏᴏɴ!
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mayullla · 1 day
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NO I AM NOT OKAY. IF THIS PERSON WHO DID IT IS SOMEONE WHO FOLLOWS ME TAKE IT FREAKING DOWN. I NEVER GAVE PERMISSION FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS AND NEVER WILL.
If someone knows about this fic. Please please please I beg you please send a link to me so that I could report it. If I remember correctly it is only the author who could report something being stolen on wattpad. (The story they took from is one of my original works that is Just One Drop) And please if you do know or if you find out don't go attacking this person.
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It all started under a duvet held up by an oar
Not so long ago I emailed Chris Tester, the voice of Heinrix van Calox in Owlcat’s recently released CRPG Rogue Trader, and asked if he would like to sit for an interview with me. Having some experience in interviewing people I like, most famously Oscar winner and all-around sweetheart Eddie Redmayne, this was not a completely nerve-wracking endeavour. And within a day of sending my email, Chris said yes. And what a pleasure it was interviewing him: Chris was so generous with his time, that the agreed upon 30 minutes turned into 50 minutes as we brushed upon many topics from his start as a theatre actor to his first voice-over role in a video game to his recently discovered hobby of playing D&D. Of course, we also spoke about all things Warhammer 40k, his new found fame brought on by voicing Heinrix and the insights he could share about the character.
I will publish this interview in three parts over the next week in text form and with the accompanying audio file (the audio quality is not spectacular but tumblr limits uploads to 10MB). If you quote or reshare, please quote me as the original source.
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Fran: Thank you very much for taking your time.
Chris Tester: That's no problem. No problem at all.
F: So then let's start. You graduated in 2008.
CT: I did. Yes.
F: You started out as a stage actor. Did you always want to become a stage actor or an actor in general? Tell us a bit about your career.
CT: I always wanted to be a stage actor. Yes, as soon as I knew that I wanted to be an actor, which probably wasn't until I was a teenager. But yeah, my first passion was always the stage, and that was kind of borne out in my career. I would have been open to TV and film of course, if it had come along, I'm a huge fan of TV and film as well, but I never got an audition for any TV or film work.
I think I literally did about three short films in my 10, 12 years of actually professionally acting, and it is one of those industries where the more you do of one thing, the more you seem to find yourself doing the same thing to a degree. So yes, watching Shakespeare from an early age was one of my first passions.
And that was what first planted the seed of wanting to do it myself. The whole aspect of live performance is still something that I'm very passionate about. Up until 2020, when the world changed, I was trying to do two or three theatre shows a year, but since 2020, I haven't been near a stage and I doubt right now, especially with the way that the UK theatre scene is going, that I'm going to be back on stage anytime soon. I am resigned to that, but at some point in my career, I know I will be on stage again, because I can't live without it, but only for the right thing, both financially, but more importantly, creatively.
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F: Your production company is currently on hiatus?
CT: I was the producer of a theatre company, which was run and was the baby of the director of the company, a guy called Ross Armstrong, who's one of the most talented writers and directors that I've ever worked with. I was helping out with a lot of the administration stuff so that he could still put me in plays. Instead of creating my own work because I'm not a very good writer or the best writer in the world, I support those people who will write me good parts. So yes, it is currently on hiatus, but never say never, we would always be looking to get back. It's difficult right now. It's difficult for all of us, because arts council subsidy, that way of being able to fund stuff, is drying up. We were doing a national tour of the UK when we were doing that [with the support of a subsidy]. There's even less money, there's even more people. I won't bore you with anything more than that, but it's kind of tough. We'd like to come back, but in the right way, and that's tricky to negotiate.
F: It's always hard as a stage actor to earn a living.
CT: Well, I've been spoiled by voice-over as well, and whereas when I was in my 20s and 30s then you're all about your art. And of course, I'm still all about my art, but I'm also about my wife and my cat and the mortgage and the bills and wanting to have nicer things to a degree as well. I've come to terms with that and voice-over does facilitate that as well as it opens you up to different roles and working with different people. So, I can't complain.
F: It's quite similar with making a living as a writer, because with a steady income you get used to a certain standard of living and once you have obligations and bills to pay, I think the stress on your mental health being creative and having all the stresses of regular life thrust upon you brings with it a challenge.
CT: It's a cliche we can very easily fall into: if I'm suffering, then it means I'm an artist. And that's not necessarily very true. It very often means that the art that we create only reflects one aspect of our lives, and it's usually a very tortured one. I am also about having wider experiences and broadening myself out. Whereas I think when I was in my twenties, I was thinking a bit more like: Oh, I'll experience the world and life through my art and just purely through my art. Whereas now necessarily I need to have a life outside of it as well, and then I can justify like I have the life so that I can feed my art or not, whatever. You know, I'll be a better artist by having a bit of a life outside of it. Maybe.
F: But that's what your twenties are for.
CT: Yeah, indeed.
F: Doing the crazy stuff, doing the band stuff 
CT: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, there was certainly an aspect of that in my twenties.
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F: So, what brought you to voice acting or voice-over work initially?
CT: Money. Video game stuff is kind of sexy and cool, and I'm a gamer, so that's important. Before I was a video gamer, I was a board gamer and off the back of that, I was a voracious video gamer, partly because I wasn't very good at team sports at school. I was always the person who was picked last in the football team. So that becomes part of your identity for better or worse. But video games, I was pretty good at, not amazing, but I was pretty good at, and I enjoyed it. And it gave me a different form of escapism as well, and off the back of that I always had an interest in them. 
So, the very first voiceover job was a video game: Dark Souls, which is quite a big franchise. At that time, I was your very typically jobbing actor. My acting agent came in and said: I got something for you. And so, I went in with that. But it was only in 2016, 2017 that I realised it was something that you could actually do yourself. People had recording studios at home and they were contacting people directly, not just going through agents. Because I'd basically written to the same 20 voice agents in the UK, mainly in London for like eight years in a row and not received anything. So, you keep knocking on those doors hoping. 
Before I'd even graduated from drama school, I'd burnt a CD and made these cases with my headshot on it and sent them all off at what at the time felt like great personal expense and didn't get anything for eight years in a row.  So, I was a bit like, I'm obviously doing something wrong, but I don't really know what, because I'm doing these workshops and getting good feedback. Then I found out through a couple of online courses, that there were ways and means of doing it myself, and that was a bit of a game changer for me, and within six months of having started, I was earning more through voice work than the bar job and the box office job that I was doing combined. Within six months, I was kind of like: “I gotta quit because I'm actually holding myself back from things.” So that was quite a big shift.
F: Somewhere you said, you started out under a duvet and with an oar.
CT: Yeah. On my website, I do have an image of it. [Dear reader, I could not locate this elusive photo] I literally had to take the duvet off my bed and put it into the living room, which was the quietest space in my then shared flat. I also had to wait until after one flat mate had watched TV and another one had used the table that had their washing on it. One of my flat mates had stolen an oar from some night out and that was perfect in order to be able to erect it over my head and the duvet as a frame. 
I did probably the first four or five months of voice recording like that. Probably about 10, 15 voiceover jobs that I actually got paid for, I was using that because it worked well enough. Since then, I've gone through various different iterations of a setup in the bedroom, to a setup in the hallway, to my current setup. In 2020 we moved to our first house, and this is the spare bedroom which I've had converted into a studio, which means my cat can be here asleep on me or near me getting fur everywhere, but it's fine. I can thrash around and I've got natural light to work in at the same time, which I find quite important. [Pictured below Chris' current setup.]
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F: Very pretty. That's good. Guide us through a typical day of yours, if you like.
CT: Oh, sure. I mean, there is no typical day. And yet, and yet, and yet. A typical day for me is, because I am spending the vast majority of the day sitting in this room or somewhere close to this room, because I may need to record at short notice, because the vast majority of jobs are quite short notice. My priority is exercise for mental health more than anything. I've got some weights at the bottom of the garden, and I will get up first thing, and I will go there and I will do that after breakfast. And that's my minimal routine of physical activity done. 
And then I'll come back, and this is so rock and roll. Now what I do is, I spend like an hour on LinkedIn. And that's what you dreamed of as a creative person. Isn't it as an actor? I spend time on LinkedIn regularly every day, because it's a really good networking place for a lot of my types of work, and first thing in the morning, I'm a bit mentally sharper. So that's when I come up with a quick post that may be inspired by a bit of content that I've made elsewhere. That probably takes about 20 minutes and then I spend another 45 minutes to an hour engaging with people and saying hi and introducing myself and asking questions, whether that's with video producers or game developers or documentary makers or pretty much anything and everything. There are a lot of people who are active at that time. And so I do it.
And then after that, if I already have some recording lined up, then I'll prioritise mid-morning, because I've warmed up physically a bit more then, and I'm focused. So, you're going through the scripts, annotating the scripts, recording the scripts, editing the scripts. But then there could be live sessions at any time within that as well. I try to keep hours from nine till six. But occasionally, like with Rogue Trader, that was recorded at various different times of the day because we had people in New York, we had people in mainland Europe, and we had people in the UK. So all different time zones, so that can happen at any time. 
And then I try to do other kinds of bits and pieces of marketing whenever I've got free time to. I do use really exciting productivity hacks, like time blocking. Again, not something that as a creative individual, I was like: Oh God, this gets me so excited, because it doesn't, but it works. It's finding a system that works for you, but still has a certain kind of flexibility and fluidity. I'm trying to make sure that I get outside of the house, and that kind of stuff. 
Recently, over the last year, I’ve started doing audiobooks as well. That long form type of thing is quite nice to be able to dip into because sometimes you don't record for two, three days. You don't get the work. Nothing’s coming in. So, you’re marketing, but it kind of connects you back to the performance side of things to go: I can do a few chapters and you know, that kind of thing. So that's probably it. I try to formalise it, but you know, every voice actor’s day is radically different. There are people, some of the biggest names, going into different studios every week or every day. I very rarely, despite being based in London, I very rarely go into external studios. Like I would say 99 percent of the work I just do from home.
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F: So how do you find the right voice for the specific type of voiceover work you do, maybe start with how did you find Heinrix's voice?
CT: Thankfully, Owlcat sent through quite a detailed casting breakdown. So, you get a picture, and that's pretty crucial, as well as a short bio, in terms of the background of the character, but not too much, because you have to sign an NDA, a non-disclosure agreement. But even if you do sign an NDA, I think developers are always slightly hesitant of giving you too much info about the game because things could still be changed. But I think I did get a picture of Heinrix, if not in the first audition, then certainly on the second one. From that you immediately think about the physicality and what might affect the voice, and there was also some direction in terms of what they were looking for. Anybody who has heard the character and me, they do not sound radically dissimilar. There's not a transformative process that I needed to go through, other than his sense of authority and the space that he takes up and the sureness that he has in that he has a kind of divine right from the emperor, so that level of confidence being brought through.
The other part of the audition was about the void ship [the Black Ship] that he'd been raised in and the horrors that he'd seen. And you as the actor have to do the detective work to go like this is showing another side, the more vulnerable side, the side that underpins all of his life choices up to this point. It's essentially playing the opposite to a degree. So it was kind of knowing when to let those elements bleed through a little bit. I think I had probably about a page worth of scripts, quite a lot of script actually to audition with. 
But I don't like to listen back to it a lot, because I think you get into your head. My biggest thing is stage work where it's ephemeral. You say it once and it could be different the next night. The whole point is that there's no one definitive way of doing things. Not quite the same with voice acting, where it's being recorded and you've got to get used to hearing it back. But I try not to overthink it. Just like record it two or three times with different impulses and then review and go like, those two seem pretty contrasting. I'll send those along and hope and then never hear anything back unless I do.
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humblefryingpan · 3 days
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Au where Bruce doesn't adopt Jason (because it never crosses his mind) but, after getting away with stealing Batman's tires and hitting him with a tire iron, Jason comes to the conclusion that B ain't shit and he can absolutely do more petty theft and mild inconveniences.
Batmobile is left unattended? The tires are gone. Batman drops a batarang/grapple gun? That's Jason's now. Batman tries to talk Jason into giving his stuff back? He clearly doesn't have them, you're crazy Bruce (the collection is visibly right behind him, he is literally holding a batarang as he says this).
Bruce tried to complain about it to Dick but he laughed so hard, he gave up. Dick thinks Jason is hilarious and after making sure he isn't dangerous helps him get into the manor. (Alfred won't say it out loud but he also clearly finds the kid funny so he let it happen)
Bruce eventually has a thought of "oh He's just looking for a family! I should adopt him!" And asks Jason if he wants to be officially adopted. Jay laughs in his face and throws a pillow at him. Bruce realises he was wrong.
He doesn't die, just goes out of town for a month or two to visit a friend and B immediately goes "all of my stuff is here wtf where'd Jay go?" and after looking around gotham he comes to the conclusion that he's dead. He tells Dick and Alfred that Jason died in an 'I'm absolutely certain' way so they assumed he double checked and didn't just overreact to a few weeks of absence.
Everyone was shocked next time he came to the manor (including Jason because he didn't think they'd care that much and didn't realize that B would assume he was dead) and it's just
"Jason?!? I thought you died!?"
"I was literally just at Roy's house?? Did you not think to check before assuming I died???"
Everyone is incredibly happy, Jason is just confused (and kind of flattered)
The other kids still show up, Tim came over to be B's fill in for Jason like a week before he came back and became a hero a few months after Jay came back. (They don't fight in this au because Jay didn't consider himself Bruce's son and neither of them were robin)
Damian is very concerned about the random dude that drops in and out of the manor (stealing random shit every time, from mugs and snacks to an entire TV) but B and Dick just go "nah he's basically family dw" like no that's our random theif.
Do you see my vision? I've been thinking about it for like an hour and finally decided to just post it. If this is a thing or if someone writes a fanfic or smth pls show me
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When You Fall Asleep
Ace Omens Hugfest prompt - "an accidental hug"
Rome, 41 AD
“Would you like any more oysters?” Aziraphale asked, leaning forward to acquire a bowl of grapes. “Or are you all set?”
“Nnnh, this m’ set. I don’t, er. Eat big meals all that often.” Blinking slowly, Crowley pushed his tiny dark glasses up onto the top of his head. They knocked into his silly silver laurel wreath, and he hissed in irritation. “Guh. Here, hold this.”
He wrenched the wreath off and put it on Aziraphale’s head. It slid to one side and bumped into his ear, threatening to topple off.
With a chuckle, Aziraphale adjusted the wreath and fluffed his hair up to accommodate it. “Very stylish. What is with your outfit, anyway? I don’t think togas are supposed to be black, are they?”
“M’ not gonna be caught dead in white, am I?” Crowley snapped, snatching the jug of wine. “Probably literally caught dead. D’ya have any idea what Hell would probably do to me if I showed up wearing white? Besides, blood shows on white. S’ not exactly a good thing for a demon to be wearing.”
Aziraphale frowned, confused by the sudden outburst. “I know you’re a demon, but it’s not as if you’re running around stabbing people. Are you?”
“No! I’m the one getting stabbed, usually. And beaten, cut, whipped, whatever.” Crowley’s irritated expression slid to deeply glum. “It’s better when I can stay on Earth. I like Earth, even when I’m having to deal with bastards like Caligula. At least it’s not… I can get away from it all, up here.”
“Ah.” Unsure what to say, Aziraphale twisted his hands together. He eyed Crowley, suddenly quite chilled. “And you had to go to Hell recently?”
“Whatever gave you that idea?”
Even Aziraphale, who sometimes struggled with such things, couldn’t miss the heavy sarcasm in Crowley’s voice. Swallowing hard, he slid a little closer on the dining couch. “I’m sorry. Is there, um… anything I can do to help?”
Crowley shrugged and poured his wine. He largely missed the cup, pouring wine all over his leg. “Shit. M’ not very coordin… whatever. Maybe had too much to drink.”
He drank more anyway, then clumsily topped off Aziraphale’s cup as well. Aziraphale drank, a trifle lost. He was quite intoxicated himself, and that made it rather difficult to determine the right course of action. But there must be something he could do.
“Are you injured anywhere?” he asked, leaning to look at Crowley’s toga. He didn’t see any bloodstains, but it was black, after all. Much harder to see blood, indeed. “I could heal you.”
“Nuh. Not hurt anymore.” Crowley swayed, reaching for the jug again. He let out a derisive snort. “Too bad we didn’t run into each other yesterday. Coulda used it then.”
“Oh! Oh dear.” Stricken, Aziraphale clutched his hands together again. “Oh, I didn’t realize you’d been hurt so recently. I’m sorry. You really ought to be resting, rather than me pestering you to spend time together.”
Something odd tugged at Crowley’s expression. He took another drink, then set the cup down and leaned back. His dark glasses fell off his head and vanished amid the pillows. “Nah. This is, er. A good distraction. Hanging out and everything. It’s loads better than just sitting around being all blah. And we can argue and stuff! I like when we get all…”
He did some sort of complicated flailing gesture with both arms, as if trying to demonstrate the enthusiastic verbal sparring they’d engaged in earlier. Then he overbalanced, toppled over, and slammed into Aziraphale’s side.
“Oh!” Aziraphale automatically caught him, pulling his limp body closer. “Crawley— Crowley, are you quite all right?”
“Nnnnyeaaah,” Crowley mumbled, eyes closed. “I just. Just. Er. Drinking.”
“Yes, you certainly have been drinking.” Concerned, Aziraphale hugged him closer. Then he realized he was hugging a demon, and wondered if he ought to stop.
But no. He didn’t want to stop. And Crowley was certainly too drunk to straighten up. Really, Aziraphale was more than slightly drunk, and therefore possessed lowered inhibitions. It was quite reasonable to hug a demon, under those circumstances.
Crowley had been rather tense all day, a fact Aziraphale had noticed earlier without realizing the cause. Now, though, Crowley went quite liquid in his arms, like a cat fitting into an oddly shaped container. “Oh. Wow. You’re really ridiculously warm, you know that? S’ like. Like. Sunning on a really soft rock or something.”
“Quite a compliment,” Aziraphale teased softly. “And you look rather thoroughly intoxicated and on the verge of dozing off.”
“Nnnhrgnmph.”
Smiling, Aziraphale cradled the demon to his side, Crowley’s head on his shoulder. Crowley had somehow gone even more liquid now, his lips slightly parted, eyes still closed. His breaths slowed, deepening. Perhaps he really was falling asleep.
Remarkable, that Crowley could feel safe enough to sleep here after being hurt so recently. The trust was quite an honor, really, and Aziraphale gladly settled in to watch over him.
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andypantsx3 · 6 hours
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tw: violence, death
this is going to be the only thing i say about it because it is genuinely not worth anyone's time to engage with this.
but i do not understand how anyone can look at the horrific and deeply sickening images coming out of gaza, particularly rafah this past weekend, and turn around and complain about big blogs vs small blogs participating in ficsforgaza. people are screaming and retching and sobbing, hunting around in the dark for pieces of their dead children with their fucking phone lights and i do not know how any human being can see that and then care at all about perceived internet "clout". genuinely, where is your empathy?
beyond that it's also insanely infantilizing to the "small" blogs that are participating in ficsforgaza. literally every single donation matters, every single reblog and discussion point matters, whether or not a fic is fully sponsored. "small blogs" are literally contributing just as much time and quality and effort as anyone else, and don't you dare trivialize anyone's contribution like that.
i hope the people going around saying this stuff grow the fuck up and develop a sense of self-worth outside of internet clout and and even more importantly, a sense of empathy. i am sick.
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HIIIIII :>
Can I please request Ben, Puppeteer, Masky, Liu, and Ej with a s/o that has a HUUUGE hello kitty obsession?? Like room is COVERED in hello kitty plushies and all that fun stuff
Summary: Ben, Puppeteer, Masky/Tim, Liu and Eyeless Jack whose s/o is obsessed with Hello Kitty (headcanons)
Genre: Fluff!!
Warnings: None!
A/n: IM SO OBSESSED WITH SANRIO MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IS POMPOMPURIN I HAVE THIS GAME ON MY PHONE CALLED HELLO KITTY FRIENDS AND I KID YOU NOT IM SO OBBSESSED WITH THAT GAME THAT WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES TO TRY AND SLEEP I SEE THAT STUPID FUCKING GAME WAHHHHH
Credits: Ben Drowned- Creepypasta, The Puppeteer- Creepypasta, Tim Wright/Masky- Marble Hornets, Homicidal Liu- Creepypasta, Eyeless Jack- Creepypasta, Divider- benkeibear, Pictures- Pinterest
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Ben Drowned
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Honestly he can't say anything because he's obsessed with Hatsune Miku
He claims its Ironic, but it very obviously isn't
But his obsession with Miku (and vocaloid in general), is NOTHING compared to yours
He loves it though, because it gives you a cute dynamic
Every time he sees anything sanrio related, he thinks of you
It doesn't even have to be Hello Kitty specifically, just any sanrio product
And of course, he HAS to get it for you!
You've gotten sodas, plushies, snacks, earbuds, bags, even wipes
Because of Ben, you have almost anything in a Hello Kitty styled packaging
He likes to "trade" obsessions if that makes sense
For example, you wear a vocaloid shirt and he wears a Hello Kitty shirt
Complimenting each other's interests makes him so happy idk
And he DEFINETLY has some form of Hello Kitty merch himself
Whether it be something that you don't like any more, something you just don't have room for, etc, he has SOMETHING
And it makes him so giddy to know that a little bit of you will always be with him no matter what
Jeff makes fun of him for wearing your old Hello Kitty backpack, but he doesn't care because it smells like you, and it carries everything he needs so perfectly <3
He lobes his hello kitty partner
God forbid you break up, because ANYTHING Sanrio related will send him into a meltdown (fucking weirdo)
The Puppeteer
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He's a very obsessive lover, so anything you like, he likes
When he sees your Hello Kitty obsession he immediately begins his research
He will learn all Sanrio characters, all characters closely related Hello Kitty, any lore in the universe, official merch, etc
He will fr pull up dripped tf out in hello kitty merch
The shoes, the pants, the shirt, maybe even a hat
You will giggle and kiss his chin, asking what he's doing
And he will shyly ask if you like it teehee
Your obsession is now OUR obsession
Well, with him it's less obsessed with Hello Kitty itself, more so him obsessed with whatever he thinks will make you like him more
You will literally be cuddling or just hanging out and he'll quote hello kitty to impress you
He's trying his best ok, just kiss him and tell him he's doing good
Masky
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Your obsession kind of scares him
Not like, in a "omg this is so unhealthy :(" way, because he literally couldn't care less what you're into
He just gets scared of all the DOLLS
Oh my lord the amount of hello kitty dolls you have freaks him out
It's something about how all of them are the exact same thing, just over and over again
The sheer amount of them combined with the similarities between the dolls just weirds him out and gives him a chill up his spine
Good luck getting him to come into your room
He will refuse to unless you're like, sick or something
Other than that, he will not tolerate it
And this is a brave guy! He doesn't typically get scared of dolls, but idk man hello kitty just ain't it
Despite all this, he still loves getting you gifts with Hello Kitty
He knows how much you like it, and just because it freaks HIM out doesn't mean he's gonna not allow you to enjoy it
He won't actively participate in wearing merch like the other guys
He's definetly more of a "hold your plush bag while you go to the bathroom" type guy
Sorry pookies :(
Homicidal Liu
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He doesn't get quite as into it as other's on this list might
He's more of a "Oh well I'm happy you've found something that makes you happy :)"
If you asked him to do something like match outfits he'd accept though!
He loves getting to do things like that with you, little stuff but it makes you both happy
He gives all your plushies different names and personalities
Maybe if you ask him nice enough he'll knit them little clothes and scarves...
He also loves to use the plushies to get what he wants
For example, if he wants to go out with you and you say something along the lines of "but im so tireeed" he'll grab a Kitty plush and begin "talking" to it
"Do you hear this? They say they're too tired to go get yummy food with me" He'll lift the toy up to his ear, nodding as if it's whispering something to him before going "I know! I was thinking we could go to their favorite restaurant too! Such a shame"
You'll scoff and roll your eyes playfully, while he brings the toy to your face making obnoxious kissing noises as if the toy is kissing you
Once your laughter fit dies down, he'll ask if you really just wanna stay home or go out
He will happily accept whatever response you give
Eyeless Jack
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He is a lot like Liu when it comes to your obsession
More so just a "Oh good for you :)" type guy
He loves to just show up with random things
For example, he will knock on your door before opening it, and silently waving around a little trinket he thought you'd like
He loves seeing your face light up as you rush to come get the gift and kiss him over and over
It makes him feel extra giddy when he "earns" kisses
So expect a lot of gifts
And if you don't give him a kiss one time, he will pout until you do kiss him
grrr give that boy a smooch he loves them
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trippinsorrows · 1 day
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with me + part six
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authors note: i'm very sorry in advance for how this ends, it was just getting wayyyy too long, and there was no good place to slice it in half, so i cut it before shit unfolds, so yes please don't hate me!!!
pairing: roman reigns x black!reader
status: in progress // masterlist
warnings: fluff, language, suggestive dialogue, angst
song inspo: ‘with me’ by destiny’s child
words: 6.5k
taglist: @pixiedust4000 @southerngirl41 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns
“Whoa.”
Mariah’s reaction is expected. Your living room, specifically the sofa, is occupied by several of Callie’s dolls. A tea party that you were so kindly invited to attend this morning. 
“Girl, you should see her playroom. Pretty soon the floor is going to be non-visible.” 
A small part of you regrets not trying to straighten up before Mariah came over, but this is also your literal best friend. You know she’s seen more than almost anyone else in your life, and she would never judge you, let alone over the state of your apartment when she has a child of her own. 
Mariah looks over at you with a raised brow. “He did all this?” You nod. “Why?”
“Because she’s his little girl and of course he’s going to spoil her. A quote.” You chuckle as you and Mariah decide to just sit at the kitchen island. It’s probably best to leave the dolls untouched as Callie’s likely to wake up from her nap wanting to play again. 
Mariah gives you a look. “You don’t find that weird?”
Confused, you ask, “what?”
Mariah shrugs and circles the top of her water bottle with her index finger. “I don’t know. He just found out about her, and now he’s buying her stuff? Seems like he’s trying to buy her love.”
“You don’t know Joe.” It’s an easy dismissal, because you do know him and know that’s the last thing on his mind. “That’s not him at all. He just wants to see her happy.”
Mariah looks unfazed and stands ten toes down, adding on, “then he should be here full time instead of randomly popping in.” You just look at her, slightly confused where this is coming from. “I mean, I’m happy she’s getting to know him, but this is all so messy, you know? He’s married. He has a wife, and he’s coming here seeing his secret child with his secret mistress.”
You can only look at her, stunned by her words, even if a small part of you knows there’s some element of truth. Joe swiftly dodged the only question you’ve asked about how and when he’s going to tell his wife about Callie. It was a valid question that deserved an answer.  But the things Mariah is saying, you can’t tell if it angers you because it’s not true or hurts you because it is. 
She seems to detect your conflicted emotions and reaches over with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be negative. I just remember how hard it was for you when you and Joe broke up the first time. I hated seeing you so hurt.”
“We’re not together, Mariah. We’re coparenting.” You hate how soft your voice is, giving away that her words now have your head spinning. 
“So you honestly mean to tell me that you have no feelings for him? None whatsoever.” You can’t give her an answer, or either refuse to. It’s another valid question but the answer isn’t as simple for you to express. You know you feel something for Joe, but that could just be because of the fact that you two share a child together. There has to be some type of emotional connection between any two people who create life. “Exactly. Just be careful. He broke your heart once before. Don’t let him do it again.”
Your feelings are so mixed, agreeing with certain aspects of what’s being said and disagreeing with others. Mariah has triggered some big thoughts, ones that you probably should sort through at some point. You’re just not eager for right now to be that moment.
“Enough about me, what’s been going on with you?”
You pray she knows you well enough to know that you’re desperate to change the subject. “What do you mean?”
“I feel like we haven’t spoken much lately, and I know that’s partially on me. It’s just been a lot on my end, I’m sorry.” 
She shrugs. “It’s cool.”
Something tells you that she’s just saying that, and there’s a level of bitterness towards you for the distance. But, you can’t allow yourself to be hurt by that, because it’s fair. Mariah has been too good of a friend to be ditched the minute your ex comes back around. 
‘How are things with Caleb? Are you guys getting along any better?” Caleb and Mariah have only been married for two years but have already hit a rough patch, enough where he’s temporarily moved out of the house. Last you spoke with her, they were supposed to meet up to discuss what they were going to do, especially for the sake of Miach.
“Did you see him at my place last time you were there?” Her response is all you need to know that that is still a sensitive spot for her as well. Understandably so, but her shut down is so cold and unlike the sweet, gentle friend you’ve always known her to be. You were always known as the outspoken, brutal friend, though it seems that maybe as the years go by, the roles are reversing. 
Unless there's something else at play.
—-------
Today is going to be a good day. 
For Callie at least. 
Your earlier conversation with Mariah, who seemed far too eager to leave when you mentioned Joe would be arriving in less than two hours, is still circulating in your head. You know she’s only trying to look out for you, and you’re very appreciative of that, but there was some undertone to the way she spoke to you that you can’t shake off. Like, it wasn’t coming just from a place of concern, but something else that didn’t seem as genuine.
“Mommy, why are we cleaning?”
Because mommy is too broke for a maid.
You instead settle on the answer, “because we want our home nice and clean, baby.”
“But, it is clean.” She’s not entirely wrong, it’s just every so often you like to deep clean, dusting, mopping, the extra shit that usually isn’t done with daily cleaning. 
Taking a break from wiping down your kitchen counters with some overpriced cleaner you picked up from Target, you see Callie is ready to be done, the dust rag you’d given here now sitting on the coffee table.
With a heavy sigh, you ask, “you wanna play, don’t you?” Her eyes widen and her head nods enthusiastically. A quick glance at the clock indicates that Joe should be knocking at your door any minute, so you try to buy some more time. “Alright, let mommy finish here, and I’ll come play with you.”
“Yay!”
Chuckling, you listen to the sound of her run in the direction of her playroom while you finish scrubbing the counters, even if they’re as clean as they can get. It’s most likely a result of all the overthinking you’ve done the past few hours. The older you get, the more you realize you’ve become that ‘i’m anxious, so let’s clean until we’re physically exhausted’ mom. Which, technically, isn’t a horrible thing, but it’s also probably not the best way to deal with your emotions.
Not that you’ve always been the best with that either.
And that’s when you hear it, the solid two knocks you’ve been waiting for all morning. 
Smiling, you call out for Callie who marches out seconds later with a doll in her hand. “You wanna see who’s at the door for mommy?” Callie looks rightfully confused. At the same time you taught her how to open, close, and lock the door because you never know what can happen, you stressed to her that she is to never open it without permission or unless during an emergency. So, you emphasize, “it’s okay.”
Shrugging, she skips, literally skips to the door. You chuckle. This kid has so much damn personality. Moving to the sink to rinse your hands, you move slowly, waiting for it.
A loud gasp. “Joe!”
You can mentally picture the absolute surprise and happiness splashed over her little face. Grabbing the towel to dry your hands, Joe walks in holding Callie who you haven’t seen look so happy since the last time Joe was in town. 
“Mommy, Joe’s here!” 
Kids announcing the most obvious things will always be hilarious. “He sure is.” Leaning against the counter, you focus on him. “Hey.” He looks good, but he always looks good. That was always the damn problem.
He takes in you for a second, eyes lingering longer than what’s probably necessary, “hey.” He easily returns his attention back to Callie who can’t seem to stop smiling, which makes you smile. You love seeing her so happy. "I missed you."
"I missed you too!" She glances over at you, partially contrite. “Mommy, I’m gonna play with Joe instead, okay?”
You pretend to be shocked, standing upright and crossing your arms and making a face before laughing, waving her off.
“That’s fine, baby, because I am going to take a nap.” It’s much needed. Your sleep has been kinda shitty lately, and you know yourself well enough to know that exhaustion makes you bitchy. And the last thing you want is to unintentionally take that bitchiness out on her. Even Joe. Walking up to them, you poke him in his stomach. Jesus, he’s ripped. “Help yourself to anything. Just make sure she doesn’t destroy my house, please. And make her clean.”
At that, her face sours, and Joe chuckles.
“You got it.”
Satisfied, you walk back into your room, deciding to close the door. Callie will absolutely welcome herself in if need be. Plopping down on the mattress, you stare up at the ceiling, taking in a deep breath, momentarily stopping yourself from closing your eyes. For a second, you forget that Callie is not alone and unattended, thus preventing you from sleeping.
Call it being an anxious, overprotective parent, you’ve never allowed yourself to nap when it’s just the two of you. Even when she’s asleep, and when you do, you set an alarm to wake you up every ten minutes, just to make sure she’s still knocked out. It makes taking time to rest pretty difficult, if not impossible, but it’s what makes you comfortable.
It’s an easy sacrifice to make for your child.
So having another adult around, her dad, of all people, is a nice feeling. You know she’s safe and watched over. And it’s what allows you to actually fall into a peaceful slumber. 
Just for a little bit.
—-------
It is, in fact, just for a little bit.
Because you’re awoken by your phone ringing, your mom on the other end wondering what time she can expect you and Callie to come over.
Shit. 
You completely forget that you’d agreed to bring Callie to see her as it’d been “too long," according to her. You partially agreed, realizing you haven’t visited your mom since the day everything went down, what with you reaching out to Joe again and that whole fiasco.
And that’s another thing.
Your mother has no idea he’s back in the picture.
Walking out of the room, you find them in the living room, of course, watching Toy Story 2. 
Callie’s eyes light up when she sees you, but that doesn’t pull her from her position, tucked right under Joe’s side on your sofa. If you had your phone, you’d try to snap a picture. 
“That wasn’t long,” he snickers, and you glare, stopping yourself from flipping him off.
You move over to the sofa, sitting on the armrest. “That’s cause my mom called and woke me up.”
“Grandma?”
Nodding, you explain to both Callie and Joe. “I forgot we were supposed to go visit her today.”
She moves up on her knees, asking, “can we go?” She looks over at Joe. “Joe can come with us!”
You consider her suggestion. Your mom didn’t even find out about Joe until you told her you were pregnant. You kept that part of your life a secret from her for good reasons. This doesn’t seem like the best way for her to find out, to drop it on her yet again. However, one look at Callie’s desperate expression, and you already know your answer.
“Of course,” you then add on, “if he wants to.” 
Callie, being Callie, answers for him. “He wants to!” She tugs on his sleeve, excitement bubbling. “You can meet my grandma!”
You glance over at him, “are you sure? I’m sorry, I know this was supposed to be one on one with her….”
He shakes his head, cutting you off. “If she wants to go, let’s go.”
You nod, praying this doesn’t end up being a bad idea.
—-------
“Mama!” You call out, watching Joe shut and lock the door behind him. Seeing that allows you to focus on where the hell your mother is. She usually meets you at the door when she knows you’re coming over. “Where is this woman?”
The car drive was pleasant enough, Callie talking almost the entire time, as expected. And Joe eating it up the whole time, also, as expected. 
You can see now he’s definitely going to be that dad. The dad who finds anything and everything his kid does to be adorable. You can’t wait for him to be on the receiving end of one of Callie’s temper tantrums and see how he handles it. 
“Grandma!” Callie suddenly calls, all the while keeping her hand in Joe’s. “I’m here!”
Finally, the sound of footsteps from upstairs as your mom comes down the stairs, home phone, yes, a home phone, held between her ear and shoulder. “I told her Bishop wasn’t gonna go for that, but you know how she is. Old fool.” It’s when she’s in the vicinity to see that it’s not just you and Callie, her eyes grow wide. “Cheryl, let me call you back.” 
Damn. 
You know that tone, that ‘let me talk to you’ tone. 
Thankfully, you get a brief save. The sight of your mom makes Callie drop Joe’s hand to sprint off to meet her on the steps. “Grandma!”
She leans down to pick up Callie, smothering her with kisses. “My favorite little lady.” 
Callie giggles as your mom descends from the steps, Callie on her hip, to approach you and Joe who’d, wisely, remained quiet up until this point. 
You watch your mom’s eyes land on him, but before she can say anything, Callie jumps in. 
“Grandma, this is Joe! He’s mommy’s friend and mine too!”
Fuck. Your mom’s eyes travel between him and Callie, once, twice, and on the third time, you know. You just know that she knows.
And that’s when you jump in, knowing you desperately need to speak with her. “Callie, why don’t you show Joe the play area?” 
Her eyes blaze with enthusiasm as your mom places her back on the ground. Callie’s little feet carry her back over to Joe who seems to understand you need to talk with your mother.
“Come on!” Taking his hand, she begins to direct him to the back of the house and through the sliding door. 
Your mom waits until she knows the two of you are alone to speak. “Girl, you done got my blood pressure all up.”
“Mama—”
“That’s Callie’s daddy, ain’t it?” She doesn’t even give you time to answer. “Don’t try to lie, either. She looks just like him.”
There’s no need in denying the obvious. “Yes.”
Her mouth drops open in rightful shock. “And just when did you plan to tell me he was back in the picture?” The questions keep coming, understandably so considering how you’ve just dropped this on her. “And why is she calling him by his first name?”
“Because she doesn't know,” you answer the second question, hating the disappointed look on her face. “We–he hasn’t told her yet.” 
“It just keeps getting worse.” She’s rubbing her temple and you just know she’s gonna need to take an Excedrin before the night is over. “Tell me everything. Now.”
And so, you do, starting with Callie’s initial question about her dad, to your phone call with Joe, his visit where he confirmed he had a daughter, all of it. And when you’re done, your mom is visibly shaken.
“Lord, he found out about her through social media?” You still feel badly about that, about a lot of it. “Well….does his wife know?”
You shake your head. “I don’t think so. We haven’t really talked about that yet.” Before your mom can protest, you add, “we will. I’ll make sure of it. He just wants to get to know her first. For himself.”
Your mom chuckles, obviously having studied the close interaction between the two of them in the few minutes she’s been privy to see them engage with one another. “seems like that’s already a done deal.” 
“Yeah,” you smile warmly. “He’s really good with her.”
And it’s the truth, Joe seems to be naturally good with a lot of things, but there’s something so impressive about his ability to interact and connect with Callie. It’s so natural. 
“So, are you two…..”
“No,” you shut that down immediately. “We’re just trying to navigate coparenting.”
Your mom nods but doesn’t say anything, and you know her well enough to know it’s because she doesn’t entirely believe you. But, she won’t push.
“Well.” She claps her hands together, nodding to the backdoor. “Let me go properly introduce myself, since you got me out here looking rude. Probably got that boy thinking I don’t like him.”
“I promise, he’s not like that.” You two start walking toward the backyard where you’re certain Callie is talking a hole in his head, describing the play area your mom put together just for her when she spends the night.
She places her hand on the sliding door but pauses to look at you, “let me just say this though, that is one fine young man. I see now why you had a hard time letting him go. The devil sure knows how to tempt people.”
“Mama!” You try to suppress your laughter as the two of you walk out, sure enough to find Callie on the swing, Joe pushing her as they share their own conversation. 
She walks up to him, wearing a warm smile, giving a wink to Callie. “I’m so sorry about that. My daughter just didn’t tell me you were gonna be here.” 
Joe, forever respectful, starts to indirectly apologize.  “I hope it's not a problem. If so, I can—”
She waves him off, “oh, hush.” She leans in to whisper, “you’re practically family.” He returns her smile as she introduces herself by name, he offers his, and your wonderful mother then informs, “well, this one is gonna help me tend to my garden, cause winter will be here before we know it.” She leans down and kisses the top of Callie’s head, as she’s stopped swinging and is instead sitting. Her eyes light up at the idea of gardening with your mom. The same way you used to garden with your grandma. A bit of a tradition being passed down. “And in the meantime, you two can go finish organizing the office.” 
Your eyes widen. No wonder she didn’t hear you all coming in right away. That room, once your bedroom, became your mom’s storage area and over the years has accumulated stuff on top of stuff. Nowhere near a hoarding level, but just a lot of things that she doesn’t want to part with but needs to organize. “Mama, that's not—”
“I don't want to hear no complaining. You really want me up on that ladder?” You roll your eyes, realizing she’s referring to the top of your old closet where she keeps the storage bins of memorabilia, mostly photos. “I'm not getting any younger. What if I fall? Then you gon feel bad.”
“You're so dramatic.” Your mom acts like she's 75 and at death's door sometimes. The woman is 52 and teaches a Zumba class at the rec center every Saturday. She could fall and jump right back up like nothing happened. 
She places her hand on Joe’s arm, smiling slyly. “You got this strong, handsome man to help you out.” One thing you’ve learned as you’ve gotten older is that your tendency to unintentionally flirt from time to time 100% came from your mother. Clearly. “Besides, if you do fall, you'll be fine. You got enough booty back there to cushion it.”
“Mama!” One glance at Joe, and you see him make a face that reads clearly 'she's not entirely wrong.’ At that, you shove him, not that it does anything. He's solid as a rock. “Fine, we'll organize your mess, but not for long. Joe is only in town until tomorrow night, and he did not come here to be a part of your cleaning crew.”
“I don’t mind,” Joe adds. Of course, he doesn't. He hasn’t seen it yet, and he’s a gentleman. “Whatever you need help with, I’ll do it.”
Your mom gives you another look and then looks at him. “I like you, Joseph.”
Callie lifts her head, adding, “I like him too!”
I like him too.
“Well, get to it. When we’re done, ya’ll can help me fix some dinner.” Her eyes then land on you. “Well, not you. You can make the lemonade or something.”
Joe coughs awkwardly, poorly hiding his laughter. “I’m getting really sick of ya’ll coming for me and my poor cooking skills.”' 
Your mom directs Callie to grab her caddy with their needed gardening supplies. “Baby, you are a lot of things, but a cook ain’t one of them.” She points at Joe, sharing, “remind me to tell you the story about how she almost burned down my house.”
“Okay, we’re gonna go now.” You grab Joe’s hand and lead him back into the house toward the stairs, which he motions for you to go up first, realizing after the fact that he probably did so to stare at your ass. 
This man….
Entering your former bedroom, you stretch your arm to show you just what you signed up for. He walks in, clearly surprised. “Okay.”
“Yup.” There’s items scattered all over, your mom clearly in the middle of trying to categorize the millions of family photos ya’ll have. “Still don’t mind?”
He shrugs forever unbothered. “There’s two of us. We’ll get it done.”
Sucking your teeth, you look around, trying to figure out where the hell to start. “Your optimism is annoying.”
Chuckling, his smartass remarks, “Glass half full, baby. Glass half full.”
“Yeah, yeah, well glass your ass over there and reach me the ladder. I need the box these pictures can go in from the top.” 
He follows where you’re pointing but also gestures to the closet. “That one?” Joe makes a sound and instead of following your directions, casually walks over to said closet, reaches up and grabs the box with all the ease of someone who’s 6’3. 
Smug expression on his face, he hands it to you as you glare. “Show off.”
Joe assesses you, eyes settling on your chest before redirecting them to your face. “Maybe I should have let you get up there. View and all.”
Holding back your smile is difficult, so you settle for biting on your bottom lip and bumping his side as you move past him. “Shut up.” You know his gaze is on you and that should bother you, his flirty comment should bother you, but it doesn’t.
It doesn’t at all.
—-------
“I still can’t believe you were a cheerleader.” 
There’s probably been a decent combination of conversation and organization in your time working together to ‘unmess’ your mom’s mess. That’s not entirely surprising though. Joe has always been immensely easy to talk to, to be around. And you couldn’t deny that you missed this kind of interaction with him, the most and maybe first since he’s re-entered your life. You wholly understand why he spends and devotes most of his time with Callie, but there’s a small part of you that’s missed this. 
Missed it being just the two of you. 
Chuckling, you comment, “you’re not the first. I was….different in high school and college than I am now.”
He’s intrigued, asking, “how?”
“Well, for one, I don’t party damn near every night anymore.” One thing you could never deny about your early days was that you always liked to have a good time, liked to make your expected appearances at whatever party of the week, or day, was happening. “Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t drink or smoke. That was never my thing. I just….I liked to have fun, probably too much fun more often than not.” You chuckle to yourself, grabbing a stack of photos to put in the container. “Now, I like to be in bed by 9:30, 10 at the latest.”
He smiles and looks over at the wall that still has many of your cheer accolades proudly displayed. “Obviously, you were pretty damn good.”
Shrugging, you push some of your hair behind your ear. Not that it does much. Your curls have always been voluminous and wild. “I was, but….it came at a cost to some extent. Cheer is insanely competitive, and I didn’t always handle that the best.”
Competitiveness was something you deeply struggled with when you were younger. Feeling like you had to be the best, not even better than anyone else per se, but the best that you could be. Always trying to prove that you were good enough.
Looking back now, you have a solid guess of where that came from and what drove it. 
Joe’s studying you, trying to gauge your comfort level with this conversation. “Did you like it?”
“I loved it,” you answer, honestly. “Until I didn’t. Shortly before college, I think, is when the love started to fade.”
“But you cheered in college too, didn’t you?”
You nod, explaining, “I got a scholarship for cheer, and I wasn’t about to put that stress on my mom to have her help me figure out how to pay for school when I had an easy ride.” Around that time is when your relationship with your mom started to strengthen, and the last thing you wanted to do was risk messing it back up by being selfish. You’d cheered damn near your whole life, what was another 4 years? 
“I like your mom,” he announces, almost suddenly. It’s unsurprising. Most people do. But, there is something that pleases you about her tentative approval of him and now his of her. 
“She’s really great. I don’t know what I would do without her, and Callie adores her.” You look over at him, playfully. “Not as much as she adores you, though.”
You can see the delight in his eyes. “Yeah?”
His disbelief surprises you. How can he not see how crazy Callie is over him? “Are you kidding me? That lil girl already doesn’t shut up, but she really doesn’t shut up about you. It’s Joe this, Joe that. The first thing she asks me when I pick her up from school is always if she can call you.” Deciding this is a perfect segue, you add on, carefully. “You know….you should tell her. I can promise you, she won’t be upset. She’s gonna be thrilled.”
She already loves you.
You don’t know if it’s too soon to say that, if it’s something you should even say vs let him hear from Callie herself. You just know that there’s probably very little he could do at this point to make Callie not love him. She’s hooked.
“Christmas,” he announces, adding, “I’ll tell her when I come back for Christmas.” 
This surprises you, as he hasn’t discussed his next visit up until this point. You also don’t feel the need to comment or counter his plan and timeline to tell Callie. You can’t think of a better Christmas gift for her. “You got the time off?”
He nods, providing specifics. “I’ll be here the day before Christmas Eve. Gotta fly back out on the 26th though.”
“Stay with us.” Where this comes from, you’re not sure, but there’s not a lot of regret once it's released. “I know you hate that damn hotel, and Callie would be thrilled to have you around 24/7.” Getting up off the floor, you carry the now filled container and move up the ladder you’d used a couple times because he’d been preoccupied organizing other areas. Sliding it back in the same spot, you descend down the steps only to feel strong hands grip your waist. 
Bringing you to the ground, he carefully turns you around, but that’s not what you’re focused on. What you’re focused on is how close he is to you, your chests nearly touching, his eyes burning into you. Instantly, your stomach is knotting. You know that look, know it all too well. 
“Joe….” Your voice is soft, much softer than it needs to be when trying to assert yourself. And you hate yourself for the tiny sigh that leaves your mouth when he brings his palm to your cheek. “We—we can’t—”
“I’m divorced.”
This man, so fine and kind, and damn near pressed against you is distracting, so much so that you’re briefly disconnected from what he’s just said. But, it’s forcing yourself to come back to reality that his words truly hit you. You’re not sure you could have ever guessed that statement would ever leave his mouth. 
Slightly in shock, staring at him with bewilderment, you stammer, “w–what?”
“Two months ago, Jadah and I filed for divorce. It was uncontested, and the state of Florida is one of the quickest when it comes to processing these things.” His other hand moves to your hip, holding you still, as if he knows you want to move away from him. “I got notice it was finalized a few days ago.”
You’re listening, you really are, but hearing is another story. This has to be some type of sick joke, some type of cruel prank ripped directly out the pages of a journal kept and maintained so long ago. Cause you’d absolutely written about this at one point, written about what it would be like if he were to leave his wife. 
You just never could have anticipated it would one day become a reality.
“I—I don’t understand.” Joe only found out about Callie less than a month ago, so there’s no way she was the reason for the split. Still, you have to ask. “Wh–why?”
Something flashes in his eyes. Hurt. “It was long overdue.” He doesn’t say anything beyond that, and while you expected more, you can also see there’s more to the story. More that he’s not saying, but it’s the brief glimpse of pain that prevents you from pushing. Whatever it is, it’s clearly difficult for him to discuss. 
“Oh.” It’s a stupid thing to say, but you’re truly in a state of shock and don’t know what else to say. 
The biggest and only issue that ever existed between yourself and Joe has always been his marriage, the fact that he was already taken. It was the only reason you ever broke it off with him, but now, he’s standing before you, telling you that this is no longer the case.
You’re all of the emotions: confused, nervous, happy, hopeful, and so many more that you can’t even label.
“I didn’t say anything at first, because meeting Callie was my priority. Establishing a relationship with her was a priority. And it still is, but…..” Your eyes shut as he drops his head in the crook of your neck. “I’ve missed you.” Your hands gradually lift to lay against his chest as he sighs into you, ‘I’ve missed everything about you.” Eyes remaining shut, your nails claw gently against him as he moves his mouth over your neck. “The way you smile, the way you laugh.” His hand on your back slowly inches downward. “The way you taste.” Your breath catches as his teeth graze your collarbone. “The way you feel when I’m inside you.”
“Joe,” you breathe, the air suddenly thick, your throat tight. Breathing is incredibly arduous in this moment. “I—”
“Mommy! Joe!”
Joe’s suddenly across the damn room, it seems like, as Callie enters at both the perfect and worst time with a smile, completely oblivious to what she’s just interrupted. “Grandma said come eat!”
Frowning, you glance at the clock and realize it’s most definitely dinner time and that your mom had most likely just had Callie help her prepare the meal instead of asking you two to help.
Huh.
She moves across the room, tackling Joe from the side and craning up her head as she excitedly asks, “Wanna see what I made? Grandma helped me!”
Leaning down to pick her up, he answers, “of course, I wanna see.” He begins to walk out the door as Callie calls out for you to follow behind.
And you will. 
You just need a moment.
Because what the hell just happened?
—-------
I’m divorced.
It keeps playing in your head, on a vicious repeating cycle, like that annoying song the radio plays every 15 minutes, forcing it down your throat.
For almost the entire time you were together, you infrequently allowed yourself to dream about what your life would be like if the circumstances were different, if he wasn’t already taken. If he wasn’t already married. And each time only left you feeling worse than before, because it was stupid. You were three years deep into the situationship; if he hadn’t left his wife by then, he wasn’t leaving her period.
It was a harsh pill that took you forever to swallow.
And even then, you knew that you could never be happy. Not with the knowledge that he’d left his wife for you. It may be bliss initially, but the guilt would have eaten you up and ruined things regardless.
So accepting and telling yourself that it would never work out long-term was what kept your head above water, especially in the two months after you broke things off. And once you learned you were pregnant with Callie, there was a new kind of stress, a new kind of distraction.
Not that it made you forget about him. Hardly.
Every check up, every milestone, every kick, your mind would wander to him. Wander to a fantasy world where you imagined he was with you every step of the way, the two of you preparing together for the arrival of your first child.
Even as the years went on and Callie got older, you still would find yourself from time to time imagining how different things would be if he was around.
Well, now he is. He’s not only around, but he’s going to be actively involved in Callie’s life for the rest of her life.
And he’s now single.
All of this makes for one fucked up emotional rollercoaster ride.
Dinner is an experience, only for you, maybe Joe to some extent. He’s always had a tendency to compartmentalize emotions though, unlike yourself. Granted, if it was a struggle for him, he did a damn good job not showing it. It also probably helped a ton that Callie talked a hole in his and your mom’s head.
You knew your mom could see something was up with you but graciously opted to not ask you any questions. You wouldn’t have any answers to give her anyway. 
And you indicated as much when you were back at your apartment, and Callie in her room gathering her favorite pajamas for bed. 
“I just need time to think.” 
It’s all you can offer him, because it’s the truth. There’s so much more to consider than you could have imagined, and it’s really hard to contemplate when you still have Mariah’s voice oscillating in the back of your mind, your insecurities, and even your mom. 
So many differing perspectives, it’s hard to focus and hear your own.
Thankfully, he accepts that answer, and you accept that you’re running out of different ways to escape confronting your own emotions. 
Maybe.
Because this day has already been exceedingly long, and you’re more emotionally exhausted than anything. So when Callie comes to you complaining of a tummy ache, you administer her Children’s Tylenol, lay with her until she falls asleep, and take advantage of this rare opportunity to turn your brain off and just rest.
The hard shit could wait.
—-------
“Mommy!”
There's a certain tone every person has that's reserved for emergencies, saved for moments when something is wrong. Very, very wrong.
This is one of those moments.
You nearly trip with how quickly you jump out the bed and sprint down the hall to Callie’s room. Hitting the light switch, your stomach drops when you see her.
On her side, in a fetal position, crying profusely. 
Rushing over to her, you see too that she's pale and a hand to her forehead reveals she's burning up. Sheer panic climbs up your body, settling into your stomach and the back of your throat. Still, you do your best to not show her your fear.
“Baby, is it your tummy?” You take a hand to feel her stomach, but she screams out in pain, making you jump from her reaction.
“Mommy, it hurts,” she sobs, and you're instantly moving the blankets off her, already knowing what you need to do. 
Hand on her forehead, you assure, “I’lll be right back, okay?”
You rush back into your room, sliding on the first pair of shoes that you come across. You grab your phone off the nightstand and throw it in your purse, all in under a minute, still too long. And as soon as you're back in her room, you waste no time in lifting her into your arms. 
She winces, so you reassure, “come on, baby. It's okay, you're gonna be okay.”
It's what you're telling yourself, the only thing keeping you from panicking. Unsure and uncaring at this moment if you lock the front door behind you, you carry her down the steps and into the dark of night, carefully but quickly buckling her into her carseat.
Hating to see her continue to cry, to be in pain, you kiss her forehead, “I’m gonna get you some help, okay? We're going to the hospital.”
She can only nod, and your eyes water. Your forever talkative child is rendered speechless by her pain. It crushes you.
Hopping into the driver's seat, you grab your phone, trembling fingers locating the address of the hospital. You hit share and send it to Joe before pressing the call button and tossing your phone into the passenger seat to zoom out of the parking lot.
Your phone is connected to your vehicle, ringing three times before he picks up, voice heavy with sleep. “Hey.”
“I need you to meet me at the hospital. I already sent you the address.” You do your best to remain calm and collected, to not scare Callie more than she's already scared. Even if you’re fucking terrified. “Something is wrong with Calista.”
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lukall705 · 2 days
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i saw your post saying that people who ship incest and headcanon dazai as liking that stuff are obviously going to be harrassed. I don't headcanon dazai as liking daddy kiddy stuff, but i want to ask how you think writing about that makes a person bad. because dazai has literally committed AT LEAST child abuse(akutagawa), 136 murders, 312 extortion cases, 625 cases of fraud and more. but if you think authors deserve to get harrassed for writing about sick crimes like incest because they support or like such things, then why aren't you harrassing asagiri for writing about all those things? and I've seen alot of people that act like sex crimes are somehow different from torture and murder. so I'd like to ask this. do you approve of cheating irl because you act like people who write about sexual related immorality are condoning it and then you say that you might write about cheating in your fic request rules. Also, If you're deep in the bsd community then you may have read no longer human, in which it is heavily heavily implied(to the point that there's literally no other explanation for what happened to her exept rape) that yozo's wife,yoshiko, was raped. do you believe that the irl dazai approved of rape?
I don't mean to come off as rude or argumentative, so sorry if i do, im genuinely curious.
I'm sorry but, are you stupid? you're asking why someone is a bad person for writing incest, pedophilia and rape content. OFC SOMEONE IS A BAD PERSON FOR WRITING THAT KIND OF STUFF. If someone writes it they normalize it, and normalzing disgusting shit like that is VERY harmful.
Its kinda dumb that you are compering Dazai, a fictional character to real people, Dazai is not a real person, so his actions don't effect real people, but people who make incest do effect real people. As someone who is a victim of sa, its very triggering to see incest, pedophilia, rape ect content being made of my favorite character. Making that type of content is normalizing it, and if we normalize kids being raped by someone they're close to, then its gonna end up making younger kids think that its okay if that happens to them.
"but if you think authors deserve to get harrassed for writing about sick crimes like incest because they support or like such things" i never said to harass the writers, i said that if they are gonna write that shit they need to be able to handle the hate, and yes they deserve hate for making it, and saying its for coping isn't a valid excuse, because they are hurting other victims at the same time.
"I've seen alot of people that act like sex crimes are somehow different from torture and murder" They are different, rape is done by the attacker so that they can feel sexual pleasure. And sadly in some cases, like junko furuta, people get raped, tortured and murdered for no reason. But still torture and rape are still different, and i don't know why you're bringing up torture and murder when this is about incest content.
"do you approve of cheating irl because you act like people who write about sexual related immorality are condoning it and then you say that you might write about cheating in your fic request rules." The answer is no, just because i said i MIGHT write for it doesn't mean i will, its meant as "in some cases i might write it" and even if you don't condone incest, rape and pedophilia irl, its stil very much wrong and disgusting and people who write it should really feel guilty about it, if you have thoughts about that stuff you need to seek help, not normalize and spread it around the interent. Also cheating and incest/rape content aren't comperable btw, one is a crime and the other one is breaking someones trust.
Now the book part, i have the book but i haven't read it, and bringing the real life dazai, into this is stupid, he lived over 70 years ago, people thought differently about rape back then so its hard to know. also the book is a fucking autobiography so ofc its gonna talk about stuff that happened in his life
Anyways please tell me if anything in here is wrong or if you wanna add anything to this
Btw saying "sorry if i come of as rude" after compering me to weirdos is something! 🥰
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mylittleredgirl · 1 day
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thinking about sinclair again this fine day:
delenn continuing to say "in valen's name" with just as much reverence for the rest of the series, even though he's conclusively some guy named jeff that she personally knows
BUT HE ACTUALLY DID ALL THAT STUFF. SO IS SHE WRONG???
"you talk like a minbari commander" surprise! you all talk like HIM!!
remember marcus's little bit about "the only way to get a straight answer out of ranger one is to hang upside down in a mirror” or whatever? what if "minbari never tell anyone the whole truth" is just because sinclair likes to fuck with people and they made it a cultural tentpole of their society
i'm actually really quite invested now in the alternate universe sinclair & delenn relationship, because imagine her discovering AFTER the fact that her husband is Literally Valen. and she's her own distant ancestor somehow as well
delenn might actually roll with that but lennier's face in the background like O_O
i had a coworker who, anytime some new crazy shit happened, used to take a deep breath and say "this, too." not like 'this too shall pass' or anything, just acknowledging that This Too is a thing we're dealing with today, on top of all the other things. that's lennier ten times a season.
sheridan and delenn are theeee het couple of all time, i think we can all agree on this, i would NOT want to trade them for anything
but i keep thinking about how because sheridan missed season one, he never knew her as a minbari
it just seems so sad for her!!! and for me because i’d like to see him navigate that
i'm having a hard time this go-round watching her get isolated from her people :( :( i mean she IS a religious zealot just Doing Crazy Shit, they're not wrong about her, but the randos calling her a freak need to meet me in the parking lot
ALSO i just watched the dreaming episode, where it's strongly implied that she transformed herself specifically in order to be able to have children with a human (to fix the soul gap or whatever), and she's Destined For Sheridan and all, but she hadn't met him yet
and they weren't even an item when sinclair went into the past to start writing prophecies
soooo do you think she and sinclair were pen pals while he was on minbar and he read between the lines that she was super into this guy?? i think so.
jeffrey valen sinclair in the past writing prophecy about uniting the two halves of our souls: delenn bestie this one's for you <3 go get that blonde man
#b5
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666writingcafe · 3 days
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An Interview With Lucifer
Part Three of A New Series
Question One: How do your friends describe you in a word?
Cranky.
Question Two: Who would you want to be stuck with on an island?
If I was limited to just one person, then MC. If there were multiple people, I'd add Mammon and Barbatos.
Question Three: What are you hiding now?
Treats from Cerberus. Not because he isn't a good dog, but because he's found their original hiding place and has been digging into them constantly, and the treats I give Cerberus are rather expensive, so I can't exactly afford to buy them every day and ensure that other stuff gets paid for.
Question Four: Do you prefer mountains or beaches?
It depends on my mood. If I don't want anyone to find me, then definitely mountains, but if I'm feeling a bit romantic, then I'd hit the beach.
Question Five: What is your hidden talent?
I can juggle. And I don't mean that in the metaphorical sense--although I can do that too--but in the literal sense, like a circus clown. It's one of the ways I relieve stress, because I can just shut my brain off and focus on keeping the objects I'm juggling up in the air.
Question Six: What makes you laugh?
You'll get a satisfied chuckle out of me whenever someone I dislike gets what they deserve, but if you want to hear a true, unrestrained laugh, either get me drunk on Demonus or put me in a room with MC when they're in a good mood.
Question Seven: If you were a thing, what would you be?
A metronome.
Question Eight: If you have no GPS, how would you find your destination?
I'd print out directions. (But what if you were unable to do that?) Then I'd ask the locals where I need to go. I may be the Avatar of Pride, but that doesn't mean I'm not willing to admit when I'm lost. (someone yells out, "that's a lie, and you know it!") And if all else fails, then I'll get to my destination through sheer determination.
Question Nine: Describe your three best qualities.
Apparently I'm patient, kind, and loving. (Why do you phrase it like that?) Because I wouldn't necessarily call myself any of those things, but I trust that the person who did wouldn't lie to me about such things. (And who might that person be?) MC.
Question Ten: Would you consider yourself a cool person?
I'm going to lean towards no. I'm far from being a trendy person. Just ask any of my brothers. (What about MC?) You'll have to ask them. I know they like spending time with me, but I honestly don't know why. Usually I'm busy with paperwork, and it's not like that's terribly interesting.
Question Eleven: What is a skill you want to master?
Baking.
Question Twelve: What would you do first if you won a human world jackpot?
Pay off any debts MC may have.
Question Thirteen: What one aspect of the human world would you change if you could?
I'd make it legal to punish animal and child abusers by inflicting the same types of torture onto them as they did on their victims. (That's rather serious, Lucifer.) So is abusing those that are unable to understand why their supposed family is hurting them.
Question Fourteen: What is your preferred card or board game?
Let's just say that I'm not allowed to play any tabletop fantasy games unless I can ensure that all of my work is complete. (Why's that?) You've met Levi, yes? (I have.) Now, imagine me behaving like him, and you'll have your answer.
Question Fifteen: What is your current favorite app on your phone?
Don't make fun of me, but there's this app where you can send messages to people and it shows up on their phone in a cartoony heart. (Are you talking about the viral Candy Heart app?) ...yes. (That's actually quite sweet.) It was MC's idea, and I initially did downloaded it just to amuse them, but I've come to enjoy using it as time has gone on.
Question Sixteen: Would you go to space if you could?
I'm content with merely looking at pictures of space.
Question Seventeen: What kind of museum or exhibit do you prefer?
I like learning about the history of different objects. Looking at their evolution fascinates me.
Question Eighteen: What kind of humor do you prefer?
I'll throw you a curve ball: I enjoy a nice pun from time to time, even if it would be classified as a "dad joke".
Question Nineteen: Do you prefer driving a car, a motorcycle, or a bicycle?
Oh, a motorcycle, by far.
Question Twenty: When was the last time you climbed a tree?
This is going to really show my age, but the last time I climbed a tree was when I was a young angel. *pauses* Thinking about it is making me want to do it now. Being up in the branches is quite peaceful.
Question Twenty-One: What is your strangest habit?
There are times where the only way I'm able to fall asleep is to hang upside-down like a bat.
Question Twenty-Two: What is your weirdest fantasy?
I'll give you an oddly specific one: if I'm ever able to retire, I'd like to buy a farm somewhere in the human world countryside and raise livestock and plant fruits and vegetables with MC. (You've brought them up several times in this interview.) You could say that I have a soft spot for them. (Or that you love them.) Well, obviously. They're a wonderful person to be around. I'd like to spend the rest of my life with them if I could. (You mean, their life.) Listen, I don't choose my words lightly. What I say is what I mean, one hundred percent.
Question Twenty-Three: Here's something a bit more light-hearted: would you rather fight a shark or wrestle a lion?
The lion. I can't swim nearly as well as Levi can.
Question Twenty-Four: How do you want the world to end?
By my hand.
Question Twenty-Five: Would you like to be shorter or taller?
I like my height just the way it is. (What if you had to choose one or the other?) Then I suppose taller. I don't feel I'd be able to intimidate people as well if I was shorter.
Question Twenty-Six: Who is the annoying person you want to get rid of in your life?
I don't necessarily want to get rid of anyone, but I'd like to seriously alter the behaviors of Solomon and Mephistopheles.
Question Twenty-Seven: Which artist and/or song dominates your human world music playlist?
I'll give you both: Metallica and "Adore You" by Harry Styles.
Question Twenty-Eight: If you had to go to prison, what would be the reason?
Treason.
Question Twenty-Nine: What is the most critical trait you seek in a friend?
They have to be able to keep secrets.
Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr
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aftgficrec · 2 days
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Hi, can you recommend fics with Andreil being discovered by the new foxes?
Here you go! -A
also see:
freshmen react to andreil 1 here, 2 here
freshmen react/pov outsider here
latest foxes react to andreil here
‘Me and You’ series here
‘midnight love,’ ‘flashes of intimacy ch 14 “devotion,”’ ‘Forever Is A Big Word,’ and ‘Master post for Fluent Freshman AU’ here
‘Allison asks how andreil got together’ here
‘AFTG/TFC minifics…Ch 21’ here
‘Teaching a caged bird to fly’ series here (particularly part 4)
you may also like:
Jack & Sheena being assholes here
Neil fights with Jack here
fics featuring the freshmen here
they match by Ani_Rygaard [Rated G, 2869 Words, Complete, 2021]
Baby Fox finding out about Andrew and Neil cause Neil called Andrew babe.
tw: alcohol, tw: homophobia
Never Have I Ever by hismiley16 [Rated T, 4332 Words, Complete, 2023]
The foxes induct the freshman with a post-preseason drinking game. Things get out of hand and Andrew shuts everybody up.
tw: alcohol, tw: homophobia
The Palmetto State Foxes Rules by Overherenow [Not Rated, 1536 Words, Complete, 2018]
A summary of rules for all freshmen for the Palmetto State foxes Exy team. And some upperclassmen who might forget.
The most beautiful thing ever by poly_pr1nce [Rated T, 1055 Words, Complete, 2018, Locked]
Kevin gets sent a clip from the last winter banquet, and when Allison sees it she agrees all the Foxes need to see it, especially the Freshmen/Cubs so they know what to expect when they piss Neil off or say stuff about Andrew
there's no way JOSTEN has a girlfriend by itadoriminyard [Rated G, 3246 Words, Complete, 2021]
“But it has to be her! Neil literally doesn’t spend time with anyone outside of this team. Like at all. Who could he possibly be dating? Someone on the team?” She asked sarcastically. She was met with silence. “Wait… are y’all serious?” Nicky was positively ecstatic at this turn of events. -- [The freshmen are determined to find Neil's secret girlfriend. Neil and Andrew are unwilling to aid their quest.]
The 5 times Neil wore Andrew's jersey and the 1 time Andrew wore Neil's by Hand_of_the_Alex [Rated T, 2489 Words, Complete, 2016]
Neil hadn’t meant to do it the first time, he just saw orange and white and slipped it on for his late night exy practices with Kevin. Kevin didn’t give any reaction further than an eye roll and a scoff before getting back to exy, so Neil finished the practise wearing Andrew’s jersey.
tw: homophobia, tw: nightmares 
five times christmas meant something by nomadicdeer (someonestolemycoffee) [Rated G, 2359 Words, Complete, 2017]
Neil Josten asks Andrew if they can celebrate Christmas. He decided he likes Christmas quite a bit.
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7-wonders · 2 days
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Literally, if Calliope held my face and gave the affection that’s described in World We Dream About, I would fucking die. All I can think about is how the reader could only wonder how Morpheus would ever separate himself from someone as tender, gentle, and utterly radiant as her-
(Read more of my Calliope/Morpheus/Reader stuff here!)
"Can I ask you something?"
You're sitting in the gardens of the palace of the Dreaming with the Lord of Dreams himself, who slowly looks up at you over the top of his book (some report on a nightmare doing who knows what) like you're a nuisance. You know that's not the case though, since he's the one that sought you out and invited you to join him.
After your...memorable first meeting with Morpheus, followed by a tearful goodbye with the woman goddess who had been your roommate for the past few months, you had never been expecting to see either again. They were important beings of myth and legend, after all—you were just a regular human. Practically nothing compared to them! That's why it was so surprising when you went to sleep barely a week later and found yourself face-to-face with the Sandman once more.
"I owe you a boon, whether you believe yourself worthy or not," he said. "And I imagine that you have many questions relating to the information you received that fateful night. Therefore, you may ask me your questions, and I shall do my best to answer them."
He was right, of course. You did have questions. So many of them that it almost made your head spin when you tried to think of the first one that you wanted to ask. But ask you did, and he dutifully answered each and every one of them.
It was definitely appreciated, and you felt that the conversation gave you a lot of answers and closure to this chapter of your life. In your mind, it was the end of a chapter. Calliope was gone, off to Greece and Mount Olympus and her sisters with no sign that you would ever see her again. Morpheus had deigned to meet with you once more, and now that his perceived obligation was fulfilled, you expected that to be the end of any sort of magic in your life.
But then you saw him again.
And again.
And again.
Now, you see him at least once a week. Each time, he comes to you in your dreams, and each time, he acts as though he's simply being charitable by offering Calliope's human friend some company. You know that's not the case, though. No, Morpheus will never admit it, but you think he's lonely. And now that you both have a shared person, that gives him a connection with someone...even if that someone is the mortal that his ex-wife found herself accidentally belonging to in what you can say in retrospect was a true comedy of errors.
"You just did," he points out cheekily.
You remain unamused and roll your eyes. "C'mon, you know what I mean."
He nods. "I do. Continue."
"Please don't answer if it makes you uncomfortable, but I'm curious. Why...why did you and Calliope break up?" How did you manage to so severely fumble the bag? is what you really want to ask. "I mean, she's Calliope."
What you mean by, "she's Calliope," is, of course, that she's Calliope. Beautiful and kind, wise and strong, charming and witty, and a whole dictionary's worth of other characteristics that can only hope to capture who she is. You had never met a person like her before, and you doubt you'll ever meet somebody like her again.
Most mortals wouldn't dare to speak to an Endless like you just did. Unfortunately, prior experience has made you bold, and you know now that Morpheus is begrudgingly fond of you and therefore won't smite you if you overstep. Somewhere along the way, you stopped feeling so wary of the Dreamlord. Now, you like to think that your relationship is something close to a sort of friendship.
(If you're being honest with yourself, lately your feelings for Morpheus are complicated, as are your feelings for Calliope. That's a conversation for another day, and it definitely does not factor into your current conversation, thank you very much.)
A small, small smile plays on his lips, Morpheus understanding exactly what you mean. "Yes, she is. We were both much younger in the days of our marriage, if one as young as yourself can believe such a thing."
You appreciate that he's trying to find a bit of humor in what is assuredly a heavy moment, so you smile encouragingly at him.
"Mistakes were made by both of us throughout the course of our relationship, myself more. Ultimately, it was..." Morpheus pauses, and when he speaks again, it's much quieter. "In the end, the loss of our son proved too much for us to overcome together."
Well, now you feel bad. Calliope had only talked to you about Orpheus a handful of times, but with what little information you have, you know just how loved he was by his parents, and just how devastated they still remain by what happened. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."
He shakes his head. "When last we parted, Calliope suggested to me that it would be wise for us to talk about Or—our son together. That remembering him might help to be able to properly grieve." Morpheus says that last word like it's foreign to him. It probably is, actually. "I am starting to find that she is right."
"She's right a lot. It's kind of annoying," you commiserate.
This helps to break the heaviness that talking about death (not Death) and loss brings, and Morpheus lets out a breath in his version of a laugh. "She does tend to be right fairly often."
Now that your question is answered and you know that you didn't just ruin his day, you gesture towards his book. "Okay, I won't bother you anymore, promise."
"You are not nearly as bothersome as you believe yourself to be." He gets a look in his starry eyes when he says this, one that conveys there is much more being left unsaid within this single sentence.
His confession makes your chest feel warm, and you try not to act as pleased as you are. "I'll endeavor not to change that, then."
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