#i love the joke

[zerohirrotries]

If Ahsoka series does not have the Empire say that they are looking for Jabba the Hutt...

I will be disappointed. Please keep Ezra's joke, let it live on!!

(Also where is Alexander Kallus, Jacen, and will Zeb be in Ahsoka?)

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Steve finally moved out of his parents' house after Robin graduated and into a shared apartment with her. His parents never let him have a pet before, and he had always wanted a cat. It was all he could think about when they moved in.

"If you want a cat, get a cat," Robin shrugged as she doodled Vickie's name over and over. "We're still rolling in that compensation money."

Steve grinned, grabbed his keys, and dashed out the door. He made sure to stop by the pet store first and get as many supplies as he could. The next stop he made was to the animal shelter, and he really shouldn't have, but the first kitten he saw he fell in love with. Her black fur was curled like a sheep's and she only had one green eye. She was curled up in the back and looking weary.

"No one wants her. They always walk past her when they come through the store, which is a shame because she's a beautiful cat. I'd take her, but my husband says I can't keep adopting every animal that comes through here," the clerk said. "I think they pass her by because she's black."

"Well, that's racist," Steve scoffed.

"Yeah," the clerk agreed. "Superstitious assholes."

"She's the one," Steve declared.

"Okay, be careful. She's a little skiddish," she warned Steve.

Steve held out her hand and let her come to him. She didn't at first, still looking at him in an untrustworthy way.

"I won't hurt you. I promise. I just want to give you a home," Steve said.

She understood him because a few seconds later, she was crawling into his hands. Steve smiled and held her to his chest, scratching behind her ear.

"Meow," Yeah, I'm going with you, but I'm also keeping an eye out.

Steve snorted.

"I think that I'll call you Raven," Steve said. "Raven Harrington?"

"Meow." It'll do.

When Steve came home with the kitten in the carrier, Eddie was waiting outside of his apartment door. He had forgotten they were supposed to hang out tonight. Steve blushed. He was wearing an open vest and nothing underneath with his usual pair of black ripped jeans. His hair was in a loose bun, which always drove Steve mad. Heart thumping in his chest, he approached him. He had yet to tell the metalhead how he felt, and he really needed to. Everything about Eddie drove him crazy. Eddie grinned and spread his arms wide. Oh God. He got his nipples pierced.

"Well, what do you think?" Eddie asked.

"They're, uh, nice, Eddie," Steve said, swallowing thickly. "I got a cat. Shit, my hands are full. Uh, is Robin not home?"

"Nope. Do I need to fish your keys out of your pocket for you, big boy?' Eddie asked.

"Y-yes, please," Steve said.

Eddie stepped right into his space, his nose practically touching Steve’s. He fingers slid into the front of Steve’s pocket. Eddie's eyes furrowed. The keys weren't there. He checked the other pocket but still no keys. Eddie grinned and slid both hands into the back pockets of Steve’s jeans. Steve’s mind was completely blank, his face red.

"Oh, keys, where art thou?" Eddie asked.

"Oh! Uh, yeah, they're in my jacket pocket," Steve realized.

Eddie cackled and fished them out of his jacket pocket. He dangled them in front of them before going to unlock the door.

"You know, you could have put the kennel down," Eddie pointed out.

"Yeah," Steve said and scoffed.

"Meeeeooww!" Okay, enough of this bullshit.

Eddie unlocked the door, grabbed the bags from Steve’s hands, and followed him into the apartment. Steve set the kennel down and opened the door. Raven looked weary again and was curled up in the back.

"It's okay, Raven. This is your home now, if you want it to be," Steve cooed, holding out his hand again.

Raven walked out, unsure, and curled up into Steve’s hand. Raven sniffed the air, glancing around the apartment.

"Meow." Better than the shelter, anyway.

"Thanks," Steve scoffed.

Raven glanced over at Eddie, apprasing him. Raven glanced at Steve.

"Meow." This is the man you wish to mate with?

"Why do you have to say it like that?" Steve sighed.

"Uh, Steve, watchya doing?" Eddie asked.

"Oh, you know, just chatting with the cat," Steve said with a shrug and watched with a grin as Raven curled up against his stomach. "Aww, look, she knows her mommy."

"You don't mind being called mommy? I thought that was a joke," Eddie said.

"Mommy, Daddy, you know, whatever I'm in the mood for," Steve shrugged.

"You're just full of surprises, Stevie," Eddie grinned.

"Meow." I am NOT calling you mommy or daddy.

"What if I give you all of the belly scratches and treats you want? Hmm?" Steve cooed.

"Meow." I'm listening. . .mother.

"Good girl," Steve smiled and rubbed her belly.

"Meow." You know, a cat needs a father too.

Raven glanced at Eddie. Steve snorted, blushing. He tucked her under his chin and looked at Eddie, pouting.

"Can you believe that people at the shelter didn't want her because of the way she looks?" Steve said, looking at Eddie.

"Assholes. She looks like a cute little black sheep," Eddie said, kneeling on the floor with Steve. "Although she's not nearly as cute as her mother."

"Meow." Smooth.

"You know, Raven says she needs a Daddy too," Steve said.

"Are you asking me to raise this precious kitten with you, Steve Harrington?" Eddie asked.

"Yes," Steve said.

"Hmm, I guess we can split time evenly between my place and yours," Eddie said.

"I mean, we could, but I think it might work better if you moved in here," Steve said.

"Where would I sleep?" Eddie asked.

"Meow." Wow, slow. Are you sure you want this guy to be my father?

"Okay, I'm so tired of dating. I spent a lot of time looking for the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I don't need to look any further because he's right in front of me," Steve said. "I know we're skipping a lot of steps here, but you're it for me, Eddie."

"You're it for me too, Stevie," Eddie said. "And yes, yes to everything."

Steve and Eddie moved at the same time, their lips meeting in the middle. Eddie smiled against his lips, wrapping his arms around the both of them. It was soft and sweet but also short. Eddie broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against Steve’s.

"Is Robin going to be alright with me moving in?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, I didn't even tell her that I wanted you to move in. She automatically made space for you in the hall closet and the bathroom. She's also made a key for you. She's just been waiting for me to get my head out of my ass," Steve blushed.

"I'm glad you did," Eddie said.

"By the way, the nipple piercings are totally hot. You should never wear a shirt ever again," Steve said, and Eddie laughed.

"I knew you were only into me for my tits," Eddie said.

"MeeeOW!" I do NOT want to hear this.

Steve grinned and handed the kitten over to Eddie. He got up and started digging around in the stand by the door. He pulled out a key and knelt by Eddie, holding it out to him. Eddie grinned, taking it, and gave him a hard kiss on the lips.

"I love you," Steve said fondly.

"I love you too," Eddie said.

"There's something you should know before we enter into this relationship," Steve said and took in a breath before exhaling. "About me."

"Okay. . .lay it on me," Eddie said.

"I can talk to animals. You know, understand what they're saying and everything. I've always been that way. It's why my parents never let me have any pets. They thought it was weird," Steve shrugged. "I get it if you don't believe me."

"After everything we've been through, of course I believe you," Eddie said. "I think it's the coolest thing ever."

"Meow." This man is a walking doodle.

Raven was looking at Eddie's tattoos. Steve snorted.

"What did she say?" He asked.

"Oh, she called you a walking doodle," Steve said.

"Our daughter is so mean, I love her," Eddie grinned.

With the help of Wayne, Robin, and Vickie, they managed to move Eddie in over the next couple of days. Once Eddie was all settled in, they invited the kids over to hang out and introduce them to Raven. It was date night with Vickie, so Robin wouldn't be there.

"Alright, kids, gather around. Your mother and I have something we want to tell you," Eddie said.

"You know, Steve is not actually our mother," Max said. "It's just a joke."

Steve burst out of the kitchen wearing a frilly apron and carrying a plate of brownies.

"I made brownies!" Steve exclaimed.

"Yeah, a joke based on a lot of evidence," Dustin scoffed.

"Yeah, I got nothing," Max frowned.

Eddie snickered and watched Steve fondly as he set them on the coffee table.

"Anyway, we have something we want to tell you," Eddie said.

"Finally!" Mike said and swallowed his brownie. "Have you two idiots finally stopped dancing around each other?"

"It was getting painful to watch," El said seriously.

"Were we being that obvious?" Steve asked.

"YES!" They exclaimed.

"Okay, yes, we are together. I did move in here, and we did have another baby," Eddie said.

"What was that last part?" Will asked.

"Oh, we had another baby!" Eddie exclaimed with a grin. "She's probably up from her nap by now. I'm going to go get her."

They all watched as Eddie disappeared down the hall, and they turned to look at Steve.

"Is your boyfriend on something?" Erica asked.

"No!" Steve scoffed.

Eddie grinned as he walked back into the living room with Raven in his arms.

"Meow." Father is lucky that I was already awake.

"Introducing Raven Metallica Harrington," Eddie said proudly. "I came up with the middle name."

"Aww," everyone said, and crowded around Eddie.

Raven sniffed Max and jumped into her arms.

"Meow." I have a feeling that this one is going to be my favorite sibling.

Steve whispered what Raven said in his ear, and they giggled as they watched the kids sit on the couch, taking turns with the cat. Every family looks a little weird and a little different to everyone. There's not a single one that's the same, and as long as they make you happy, it's the only thing that matters. Steve was very happy with the family that he had now.

"Hey, Steve, can we babysit when you and Eddie go out on a date?!" Dustin asked.

"Oh, how the tables have turned," Eddie cackled.

[ithappensoffstage]

I am genuinely so worried for all the young horny dykes going into adulthood thinking there's something "problematic" / "wrong" with them for being horny because fucking tiktok lesbians think any horny dyke content is "male gaze fetishitic"

[futurebird]

The "B" is *not* for "buses"

Via mastodon(aka the fediverse)

[peachie-keane]

clair de lune will always go down smooth, claude really did put his whole debussy into this one

[petrichor-moss-and-lightning]

being a lesbian is so dumb. this girl once sent me a photo of a rat she found in a dumpster and i imagined kissing her in a botanical garden

[lettuccine]

pov: you play poker game with marcille

[danafromunderarock]

one thing that will always be funny to me about batfam is that jason is forever convinced that dick is bruce's favorite child while all of his siblings know for sure that bruce's favorite child is actually jason

some random reporter: who's your favorite child?

bruce: how DARE YOU imply that i play favorites, i love ALL of my children equally

dick, without missing a bit: oh he absolutely plays favorites, it was jason

tim: rest in peace

[franeridart]

I love dragon btw

[clarisse-doodles]

inspired by this post, in which Damian does not know what Vine is

[soleilsplanet]

do you ever just … picture a whole scene, a whole fanfiction in your head, you know how to place every single word of the english dictionary that you need (or your language dictionary), you know how to structure your sentences, you know just what your characters are going to say to each other and then… and then you just open microsoft word.

[fruityrats]

Happy pride!

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[pears-palette]

My dad has a little gag he loves doing that involves me being trans (it’s fun- don’t worry).

So, my dead name is also the name of a food item (spelled different but sounds the same). We sometimes eat that food item- it’s a nice treat. His little joke is that he will only call that food “Dead Names”- which leads to hilarious instances of hearing my 70 year old father call out “Hey, I’m going to go grab some Dead Names while we’re here!” while he’s half way down the isle in the grocery store, or him coming home and saying “hey, I picked up a box of Dead Names while I was out! :)”

It just makes me so overwhelmingly happy that my old name is not something wrapped in grief. It doesn’t represent a loss. It is something we can smile about and remember even if it doesn’t fit me anymore.

[notherpuppet]

Let’s Dance

Part 10/12

Part 9 | Part 11