#im gonna be real this is really half baked

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

More to Me

Pt 2 of Glaciated Memory AU | Master Of Ice Art | My Dearest Friend... (pt 1/prequel)

1k

When Zane found the blueprints in his father’s old lab, showing his design and revealing what he was, he thought it would be the last major discovery about himself that he would find.

Oh how wrong he ended up being.

He always had dreams. Prophecies. Memories. Not quite to the degree that Lloyd began to have them, but they came all the same.

When they needed to discover more about the serpentine war, they became all the more vivid.

He was fighting. For his friends. To defend them. Ice wrapped around him. His dark hands, the only exposed skin he had reached and pulled his friend to their feet. “Watch your step,” he told them. The man who looked up bore a resemblance to Lloyd in a distant way. His hair was a similar colour and he had a serious expression set on his face in a similar way, too weary to be on the face of someone so young, just like Lloyd.

“Thank you. We must hurry.”

The sounds of battle crept up behind him slowly as they ran. He used his powers to create ice walls left and right to keep their assailants out. They were heading somewhere. They were trying to get to something but what--

Dreams were a funny thing when you did not sleep. Even stranger was waking up.

Zane did not need to recharge. He had a self-sustaining power source. Still, sometimes he would still need rest if he overused it, not unlike his human counterparts needing sleep. Sometimes he would close his eyes and other times he would lay down and stare up at the stars or relax and read. Sometimes his eyes closed on their own, and although it was not sleeping, it was very close to it.

In this case he woke up with something in his chest pulsing, not unlike a heartbeat he thought. He didn’t need to breathe but he breathed anyway. In and out. Long and slow.

In all honesty he had never wondered. But now, it was time to ask.

“I’m gonna be totally honest with you, dude,” Jay said. “I have no idea what this is.”

Zane sat on the metal table in their little room set aside for experiments on the bounty, his chest compartment open, wires and things clipped and plugged inside and hooked up to the ship’s computers. His power source pulsed like a heartbeat as it always did, its bluish white light reflected in the color of his eyes. He contemplated Jay’s diagnoses.

“Nya and Pixal could not explain it either.”

“Oh, I was the last person you came to, awesome. Love that. I feel very appreciated and properly utilized.”

Zane smiled. “I did not wish to interrupt your gaming.”

“Sure, sure,” Jay waved his hand dismissively. “You don’t have to lie to me. I’m not real active with this kinda stuff anymore anyway.”

“Do you regret not being involved in it?”

“Eh,” said Jay, “I’ve got other stuff to fill the time now.”

“You can always come back to it.”

Jay paused to stare down at the wires and pliers in his hands for a long while.

“Maybe.”

Zane smiled. “I am sure Nya and Pixal would appreciate your company.”

.

Pixal was always very digitally focused. Despite being a nindriod himself, Zane had never felt the same pull towards technology that she did. He always operated off of instinct.

When they discussed it one time, Pixal had been intrigued about how he interacted with technology because, in her words, it seemed as though he operated things through feeling rather than numbers or calculations. Which was a funny thing to hear considering he was known by the rest of the team as the most calculating of the bunch.

Zane connected with technology the way he connected with his elemental power. Instinct, practice. He didn’t know the logistics of how it worked behind the scenes, behind the instinct and feeling. It had been that way since his first days training with Master Wu. His ‘sixth sense’, they called it. Now there were numbers that flashed across his vision when he calculated certain things, when he felt who was close and who was far. Then, it had been nothing but a feeling.

What a silly and confusing thing it was to not be human but to operate off of feeling.

“You’re different, Zane,” Pixal told him.

“Well,” said Zane, “I am a nindriod.”

“So am I,” Pixal told him. “And you are still different.”

That sat with him for a few days. He pondered on it quite a bit. Turning it over in his mind again and again. He was different, wasn’t he? Even in the body of a young adult without his memories he had always acted older than his counterparts. He had attempted to imitate and enjoy things with them and he truly had, but it had taken some practice.

Still, what he was remained a mystery. Not even Wu could comprehend what powered him.

“When I look, what I see is the element of ice, contained within you.That is all.”

Which, in and of itself, was a curious thing.

How was it possible for a vessel of technology to hold an element? How was it possible for the element to dwell in that vessel when it was passed from parent to child, through destiny and fate rather than human engineering?

“I guess we could try taking it apart,” Nya said. “But we don’t know what that would do to you.”

His core wasn’t what it used to be. There wasn’t a piece of it that he could spare. When the original source was destroyed by the overlord--when he had been destroyed by the overlord--the only piece that remained belonged to Pixal, who Chen’s men had dismantled to retrieve the remaining piece of Zane’s core from and place it into Zane’s new titanium body. That piece now resided in Zane’s chest as before. Small and there was no telling what would happen if they split it another time or if they chose to experiment on it, so what it was would remain a mystery.

For now.

Zane kept dreaming. He kept seeing a battle, feeling urgency. He kept seeing his father’s face, younger than he ever remembered witnessing.

In the end what he chose to do was visit the site of the battle that he kept dreaming about.

It was in an eastern area of the Birchwood forest. A distance away from his father’s original laboratory in a still snowy but warmer climate. He placed his hand on the frosted over birch that felt so familiar. He felt as though he had woven through them before despite never having set foot in this area of the forest. His father had never explored this far nor bothered to leave the lab.

It was curious. That it felt so familiar. Curious that he felt… no, he knew he’d been here before, but according to Pixal no one had set foot in this forest since the war had ended.

He scanned his surroundings. He could feel when his titanium skin started to frost over after being there for a few hours.

“Have you found what you are looking for?” Pixal inquired, her voice settling comfortably inside his head as it had when she had no body to linger elsewhere. It was something that was familiar too. Something that was a memory that he knew he had experienced himself.

“I am not sure,” he confessed. “It’s a strange feeling, is all.”

“What will you do?”

“I will come back home.”

And he did just that.

“Find anything?” Kai asked him when he landed on the deck of the Bounty. He was sitting on the steps leading up to the control cabin.

“Nothing but old graves, I’m afraid.”

“Too bad. You’ll figure it out eventually. Just let us know if you need anything.”

“Thank you, Kai. I will.”

There were curious things about himself he could not put his finger on, but he would always have his friends there to help him discover and support him if what he found was not what he expected.

“I heard you’ve been having dreams.”

Zane glanced to see Cole leaning against the doorframe of his room. “Yes.” He watched as Cole entered, taking his response as the invitation it was. He came to sit next to him on the bed Zane didn’t need but still used.

“Have you talked to Lloyd about it?”

“Not yet. I was attempting to investigate first of all. If I were having visions of the future I would have initiated discussion with haste, but to my knowledge thus far they are things of the past.” Saying what he thought they were--the previous master of ice’s memories--felt inaccurate somehow. Saying they belonged to someone else didn’t feel right. And if Zane had learned anything from his time living, it was that his feelings often allowed him to see while logic blinded him.

He closed his eyes and breathed for a moment despite the fact he did not need to.

“What do you feel like it is?”

When he opened his eyes Cole was watching him. He was the first person to ask him that. Not what he thought it was. What he felt.

He remained still as he thought for a minute. “Something. I feel it is something.”

“It’s not nothing. It’s something,” Cole repeated.

“Yes.” Zane said.

“Okay,” said Cole. Zane could hear in his tone that he believed him. “So what next?”

“I follow where I feel.”

“Like always then,” Cole smiled.

Zane smiled slowly back. “Yes. Like always.”

It was comforting to know Cole trusted his instincts. That his family trusted his instincts. At times he did not feel he deserved such intense trust, but he was grateful for it nonetheless.

Like Cole said, whatever this was, he’d figure it out.

He was Zane, Elemental Master of Ice. Titanium Ninja. And possibly, if his theories were correct… something more.

[formulawonu]

can i request seventeen asking for cuddles after a nightmare 🥺🥺🥺

seventeen & nightmares

a/n: bye this prompt is so cute 😭 i got carried away idk why this became so long :( also idk why tumblr is glitching and formatting stuff weird

seungcheol: would 100% try to make it seem like he just wants to cuddle nothing suspicious ha haha... then when ur both trying to go back to sleep he whispers "honestly i just had a nightmare" :/ poor baby let him cuddle u all night long!!!! on the other hand if u have a nightmare he is ur #1 protector. do u need the lights on do u need water do u wanna talk? oh u just want to cuddle? HE CAN DO THAT

jeonghan: it happens in the middle of the night and it is the faintest of movement from him because he doesn't want to wake you but he makes sure you're right next to him and he pulls you in closer and eventually leaves a kiss on ur head just thankful u are there. but he'd tell u about it in passing the next morning acting like it wasnt anything so u dont worry :/ IM GONNA KMS and if its u with the nightmare you'd shake him awake and he'd ask u whats wrong in his sleepy voice but listen and talk to u however long u need to fall back asleep while cuddling u:/ f m l

joshua: STOP he would get up immediately and open all the lights to make u feel better :/ he'd make u sit up then get you water and rub ur back if its a super bad nightmare just so u know everything is gonna be okay :( would also be willing to do something random even if its the middle of the night to get ur mind off of it... like would bake warm cookies with you or smth ahhahah if he has a nightmare i think he'd try to wake u up like once but if u dont wake up he'd be content with just cuddling closer to u and falling asleep with his arms around u. ur his comfort pillow

junhui: waking junhui up because of a nightmare would be funny because he's clearly disoriented from being woken up all of a sudden but he's trying his best to make sense of why he's awake dkufgjhshf "HUH WHAT DO U MEAN SOMEONE CHASED U JUST NOW DO I CALL THE COPS?" takes him a min to process but comforts u the best way he can:/ he'd give good cuddles:( i think if he was the one with the nightmare he wouldnt really wake u or mind if ur half-asleep but he'd be talking about it out loud while playing with ur hair just so he could calm down and process it on his own

hoshi: he'd wake you up in the middle of the night so u both could process what the nightmare meant and you'd probably lie in bed just talking about different things to get his mind off of it:( he'd be playing with your hand and muttering random things solely saved for sacred late night conversations and moments. ur the bigger spoon when u eventually go to sleep n cuddle. if u have the nightmare he'd try his best to listen to u but i think he'd be falling asleep 😅 however its like second nature for him and he gives u one of the best cuddles ever

wonwoo: DONT GET ME STARTED ON HIM like if you had a nightmare and you wake him up and tell him about it he'd find a way to make it sound like a good thing like that time seungkwan had that nightmare of wonwoo and he said it meant something good djshfdjkfh he'd also drop everything to cuddle u and hum u to sleep:/ if he has the nightmare he honestly wouldnt wake you up to ask for cuddles bc he doesnt wanna bother u I FEEL ILL 😭😭😭 like the only way u find out he's had a nightmare is if he tells u abt it the next day or u personally wake up to his movement in the bed and see he's sitting up reading or using his phone to get his mind off of it:/

woozi: be REAL u had the nightmare and he would give up his personal space to cuddle u:/ "jihoon are u awake..." "no" "please i had a nightmare" he'd immediately sit up and ask you if you wanna talk about it or how he could help you and when u say u just wanna be near him he'd give in and cuddle because duh hes a simp 🙄 if he has a nightmare he honestly just pulls u in closer in bed

minghao: hao would be so sweet about it like i think he would know ur having a nightmare before u even wake up and he'd shake u lightly because he's that receptive of u and how u are dhjfgfksj like he'd be all "babe its okay i think u were having a nightmare" then he's hugging u or rubbing ur back UGH but if he had the nightmare i think he's another one that wouldnt wake you up.. he'd get up drink some tea to calm himself down then get in bed and naturally cuddle up to u help

mingyu: ok thing is u NORMALLLY cuddle with this man but the grip he has around u specifically after a nightmare (regardless of if u or he had it) is strong and secure and everything is suddenly right with the world as long as u are in his arms dksfjhdsdfj but it'd also go like "i had a dream ~this~ happened" and he would say "ok but logically that can't happen" ok thanks mingyu! big help! but he just wants to make sure ur okay anyway:/

seokmin: he'd be so cute uisdkhjfsdkrfjh like ur there telling him about ur nightmare and he's trying his best to listen and be supportive but he's also scared out of his mind bec of the contents of ur dream so now he's lost in his thoughts and u both are scared hjdgfdjh same goes for if he has the nightmare 😭 but the cuddles are extra tight and u guys just keep talking in bed until u drift off into bed i can imagine it going "hey are u still awake im still scared" "i was FALLING ASLEEP" "ok but im still scared" kdfjhdfkgjh

seungkwan: he'd try his best to make u laugh if u woke him up after a nightmare :( like he'd get up and pretend to look under the bed start fighting an imaginary whatever in mid air and get mad ydfhgkfd "ok come out let me fight u" he'll have u laughing but also intently listening to whatever nightmare u had bec he cares :( if he had a nightmare he'd wake you up also n he might be crying :( he'd be talking about it and he'd pull u into his arms while just talking about it. just be there for him and tell him its gonna be ok :( kwannnieeeeeee :(

vernon: THIS MAN. he would actually be such a good listener its just that i also think he generally wouldnt know what to say??? like he knows he wants to comfort u and be there for u but also its several taps on the back and "errr dont worry it wasnt real..." or he'd just straight up ask u how he can be there for u :( if u ask him for cuddles i think he'd overthink it and u would feel him be more stiff than usual bc he doesnt know how cuddles logically help u get over nightmares ukdsjfhsd which is why i think vernon honestly just wakes up from a nightmare processes that its a nightmare and goes back to sleep period

dino: he is internally panicking bec wtf no one told him how to help someone else deal w nightmares how does HE even deal with nightmares???? but he'd be so cute trying to make u feel better :( but u wouldnt have to ask for cuddles honestly like his caring nature means he naturally pulls u in and keeps u there until ur fast asleep again ugh dhkdsfh if he has the nightmare i think he'd sit up then check to make sure ur there then cuddle u again :( he'd try to go back to sleep but if he really cant he'd wake u up and say sorry for waking u up jahjashdkjsh

[fluffypandabun]

LEE FINN AND LER JAKE. Maybe finn is feeling down so jake cheers his best friend up?

The treehouse was quiet, too quiet. 

At least Jake thought so. 

The magical dog hummed to himself as he popped open the oven, pulling out a tray of fresh baked meatloaf. Finns favorite. 

The two had just a few hours ago finished up fighting a weird bear monster that was harassing a village, and once they got home Finn had barely just allowed Jake to finish patching him up before he had muttered something about going to his room and disappeared up the ladder.

He’d been up there ever sense and Jake would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried, it wasn’t that uncommon for Finn to turn in right after a fight but today he had seemed a bit off. 

In fact the teen had seemed a bit off for a couple of days now, Jake had been trying to give him some space, let the boy come to him, but it didn’t seem to be doing much to help. And when Jakes ‘older brother’ sense started going off for real, thats when he knew it was time to intervene. 

He picked up the plate now filled with cuts of Finns favorite dish and stretched himself up the ladder into his and Finns shared bedroom, where he found the teen without his signature hat; laying on his back staring blankly up at the ceiling. 

Jake frowned, the twisted feeling in his gut  at the sight of his little brother looking so….sad worsened. Wishing deep down that his mother were still here to help he cleared his throat, putting on his signature grin. 

“Heeeeey man, wakey wakey. I brought you something to eat.”

Finn didn’t give him much of an acknowledgment, simply grunting a bit in response and mumbling something that was too quiet for the dog to hear. Jake kept up his happy attitude, though internally he frowned. 

“Come onnnnn bro, I made meatlooooooaf~ Your favorite!” 

Finns nose twitched slightly as the sudden smell of fresh out of the oven meatloaf filled his nostrils. But instead of the usual rumble of hunger he felt in his belly, his stomach simply seemed to twist up uncomfortably. 

The teen sighed, eyes still bleary starting up at the ceiling of the tree house. He let his shoulder fall up and down half heartedly in a shrug. 

“Maybe later dude, I’m not really hungry right now.” 

Jake visibly frowned at that, stretching his arm holding the plate of meatloaf back down the ladder and back onto the kitchen counter as he walked forward to the side of Finns bed. 

“Not hungry for meatloaf huh? Something must really be wrong….aw dang your not getting sick are you?”

He stretched a paw out to place it on Finns forehead, brushing aside long blonde hair as he did so.

“Hm you don’t feel warm.” He moved his hand down to brush gently against the bandage on his younger brothers cheek, where he knew long scratches resided from the monster fight earlier. “Oh crap you don’t think that monster had like, some weird gross poison claws or something?” 

Finn scrunched up his nose at the touch, raising a hand to gently bat away Jakes. “Ugh, no Jake. Im not sick or anything, I’m just….” 

“Just…..?” Jake prompted, raising an eyebrow. Finn just sighed turning away from the magic dog and onto his side, now staring at the wall. 

“…..Nothing.” 

Jake threw his hands up in the air dramatically. “Dude! That was like a full five second pause, plus you didn’t want any meatloaf and you aren’t even wearing your hat, clearly this isn’t just ‘nothing’.”

He brought his arms back down to his side, resting with hands on his hips. “Is this some new sort of teen angst your trying out? Cause if it is I’m not gonna be handling any teen sass from you young man.” 

“No dude thats not it.” Finn huffed, just a bit of amusement entering his voice before it faded away as he let out a long sigh. 

“Im just….tired….I guess….I don’t know man…”

Jake frowned, stretching out his upper body to the other side of the bed so he could face finn. “Tired as in sleepy or….tired as in bummed out sad?”

Finn shrugged his shoulder as he turned over again, once more facing away from looking his adopted dog brother in the eye. 

“Im not like, sad or whatever, or maybe I am? I don’t know its just…..I’ve been thinking about my Dad.” 

Jake hummed,retracting his head to rejoin the rest of his body. “Joshua Dad or Human Dad?” 

Finn sighed, rolling over onto his back. “Human Dad……” 

“Ah” Jake muttered, realizing that it was gonna be one of those kinds of conversations. He lifted himself up to to sit at the edge of Finns bed. 

“Wanna talk about it?”

Finn frowned. “Not really….but also I kinda do? Like….I don’t know man, words are hard.” 

Jake reached out to pat the teens leg gently, choosing to stay silent and allow him a chance to collect his words. 

“Like, I don’t really need him you know? I had you and mom and dad and Jermaine but like…..I don’t know i thought it would have been nice to at least…have some sort of relationship with him? Maybe learn more about where I came from and why he left me…..” 

The teen trailed off, reaching a hand up to grip a handful of his shirt. “And I mean, clearly he doesn’t really want one with me, a relationship I mean, and like it got me thinking….what if its like….me? Like, maybe theres just something up with me and thats why he hates me so much and like, what if he isn’t the only one? What if Joshua and Mom felt the same way or something.” 

“What!?” Jake sputtered, standing from the bed and giving Finn one of his few genuinely serious looks. “Dude Mom and Dad loved you, your human dad is just a big…sweat stain buttwad….uhh no offense.” 

Finn let out a bit of a amused huff, swallowing past the lump that had formed in his throat. “Nah your right, he does kinda suck….I just wish Id known what I did wrong you know?” 

“Finn” Jake staid sternly, brow furrowed. “You were a baby dude, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Maybe I was a really ugly baby.” 

“Hey.” Jake huffed. “You were a super cute baby, I have the pictures to prove it. Sides, even if you did do something thats no excuse to leave lil baby you helpless and alone in the woods.” 

Finn sighed softly. “Yeah, maybe your right..” 

Jake raised an eyebrow, letting his voice slip into a more playful exaggeration. “What do you mean maybe? Im totally right, all the time without fail.” 

Finn snorted a bit, turning onto his side to face away from the magical dog. “Yeah, sure you are buddy.” 

Jake narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms across his chest. 

“Whats that supposed to mean? I am right all the time, especially about this.”

“Mhm, sure.” 

“Wha-? Oh you better not even start with that, I can see you trying not to smile.” 

Despite the heavy cloud of sadness that fell over the teen, there was a steady increasing of amusement starting to bubble up in his chest as he continued to face away from his brother. 

“I don’t know what your talking about.” 

Jake put his hands to his hips, putting on his stern “adult figure” voice he used only in emergency times like this. 

“Finn, look at me.”

Silence. 

“Finn, don’t you make me use drastic measures.” 

Even more silence from the human teen, Jake let out a growl stretching out his arms.

“Alright then, you asked for this.”

Stretching out his arms, Jake wrapped them around Finns middle, yanking the teen back across the bed and towards his chest. The human yelped, arms flailing about. 

“What the-!? Jake!” 

The magical dog could barely hold back a smile as he stretched one of his arms out further to free his hand, wiggling his fingers playfully. 

“Sorry dude but you asked for this!” 

Fur covered finger’s skittering up gently across his neck made Finn squeak and scrunch up his shoulders, bursting into squeaky titters.

“W-Waihihit! Jahahake!” 

“Hm? What was that?” Jake grinned, moving his hand to scratching under the teens chin, the current lack of his hat giving him free access. “Couldn’t hear you over how much your laughing.”

Finn, much to his own embarrassment, let out a soft squeal. Shaking his head back and forth to try and get away from his older brothers tickly fingers, kicking out his legs and scuffing up the beds blankets. 

“Nohohoho! Come on mahahan! Im to old for thihihihis!”

Jake scoffed, using his free hand wrapped around Finn to poke along Finns side. “Nah, you ain’t ever too old for this. Sides you used to love this as a little kid.” 

Finn flinched away, curling into himself, but Jakes arms wrapped around him kept him from escaping. His laughter raising in pitch when Jakes hand started pinching gently at his ribs, he shoved at Jakes arms in an attempt to escape but it did little to help.

“Nahahahaha! Whihihihiy?”

“Why?” Jake grinned, scribbling fingers across the back of Finns neck to hear him squeal again. “Cause you’ve been nuthin but all mopey sad today! Sides, Im your older brother. Bullying you like this is kinda muh job.” 

Finn squeaked, fighting with himself to keep his giggly laughter at bay. Though as much as he would never admit it to anyone, especially Jake, the giddy feeling of laughing so freely was helping in its own way to lighten to heavy feeling in his chest. Didn’t mean his older brother wasn’t any less of a jerk though.

“Wehehehll Ihihihi thihihink y-your being ahahaha b-butthead!” 

Jake let out a loud offended gasp. “What did you just call me?? Thats it your really gonna get it now!”

Stretching out his arm further he snaked it down Finns body to wrap around his leg, keeping it still as he lifted it up. Finns eyes snapped open as he burst into nervous laughter, his squirming increasing ten-fold as he tried to pull his leg out of Jakes hold.

“NO! Nohohoho J-Jake-! Dohohohohont!”

“Hmm? Don’t? Don’t what? Don’t dooo….this!?”

He latched onto Finns knee, switching between squeezing sporadically and skittering his fingers underneath it at random.

Finn snorted loudly before bursting into loud body shaking laughter, throwing back his head against Jakes chest he frantically   flailed his arms randomly about, babbling nonsense in between shrieks of bright laughter. 

Jake chuckled. “Heh, you snorted~” 

Finns normally pale face turned an even darker shade of red, causing Jakes smile to widen. 

“Awww you look like a tomato.” He blew gently on one of Finns ears causing him to squeak amongst his loud laughter. “A giggly giggly tomato.” 

“EhehehehAHAHAHAH! U-Uncle UHUHUHUNCLE!” Finn shrieked, voice cracking as he sputtered and snorted in between his cackles. 

With a laugh of his own Jake immediately backed off, unstretching himself and releasing Finn from his hold. Where upon being free the teen curled up onto a ball on the bed, gasping for air as he groaned. 

Jake giggled down at him, eyes crinkling as he looked down at him fondly. “Heh, I forget how fun you are to tickle. You always freak out it’s adorable.”

Finn let out a long whine, kicking out blindly in an attempt to land a hit on his brother. “Come on man shut up.”

Jake smiled as he pat the teen on the shoulder. “Aww dude don’t be like that, you haven’t laughed in like forever! I was just trying to help ya cheer up a bit.”

Finn slightly uncovered his face to look at his dog brother, though he avoided meeting his eyes. “Yeah….I guess I haven’t….” 

Jake stretched his body down slightly so he could meet the humans eye, grinning widely.

“Sooo, does that mean it worked and your feeling better?”

Finns pinkend cheeks turned an even darker shade as he looked away. “…..Maybe…”

Jake cheered, throwing himself forward to lay across Finn in a hug. “Yeahhh! Ol’Jakeys still got it!”

Finn huffed out a laugh, smiling as he playfully shoved at Jakes face. “Your still a  big butthead though.” 

Jake grinned as he moved his head so he could press it against Finns head. “Yeahhhh but you still love me.” 

Finn smiled as he scratched the top of Jakes head causing his small tail to start wagging. “Yeah, I do…..hey you think that meatloaf is still good?”

“Well yeah of course, wanna go eat some and play some video games?”

“Haha yeah! Bet I can beat your high score in bloombombs.”

“Ha! In your dreams!” 

[silverzoomies]

totally gonna send you random headcannons of my xmen dr based off of stuff i see you reblog

im forced to move into the mansion to stay safe and i only agree to it under a few circumstances:

no classes for me

my own room with my own private bathroom

access to a kitchen bc i love to cook/bake

some times i can’t sleep so i’ll randomly bake cakes or cupcakes or whatever it is i’m in the mood for and i like to believe peter will bother me while i do it and he tries to help but he ends up splashing batter all over the kitchen

when we celebrate his birthday for the first time together i bake him a giant twinky cake and he cries (he gets sick from eating over half- lets be real the ENTIRE cake but that’s okay we still love him)

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH DJFIEHFIJRJR !!! y'all, please keep sending me stuff like this. it makes my entire week, you don't even know !! 💗💗💗

you have nooooo idea how jealous some of the students are gonna be !! like, c'mon !! you get a private bathroom ?? that's just not fair !!

your baking habits are so frequent, the students forgive you for stealin' the private bathroom. as long as you're makin' tasty treats they can indulge in, you're alright in their book

one night, you're up late and baking. that's when peter spots you. you're mixing some good good in a bowl. lost in your own, little world. got the radio on at a low volume, listening to some tunes

but it's like...3am. you know that, right?

i mean, it makes sense for him to be up. he really doesn't need to sleep when his energy is so limitless. but you? what, did you have a bad night or somethin'?

peter just wanted to grab a quick soda, rush back upstairs, play some mortal kombat (on the arcade cabinet he obtained 100% legally, fyi)

but - guilty as charged - he's a sucker for sweets. and now...you've made him a little curious...

this becomes somewhat of a habit

at some outrageous hour in the night, you'll bake again. peter'll be there, leaning over your shoulder. he'll pester you. tell you all these (slightly exaggerated) stories of all the cool stuff he's done

he sticks around, at first, just to taste test everything you make. but after so many nights - he kinda just really likes hangin' out with you

eventually, he tries to help. but cooking is a slow process. you tell him a thousand times - he needs to be patient !! he can't rush the process !!

next thing you know, you're turning around at the sound of a casual "whoops." there's batter everywhere. flour. a few broken eggs. he's licking unmixed batter off the whisk. he makes a face when it doesn't taste like yours

"i followed your recipe to a t, dude. i dunno how i bombed so bad!! i even added a little extra vanilla"

"peter, you used the whole bottle"

"so? what's wrong with that?"

seriously? what did he even do wrong?? who can complain about more vanilla ??

on his birthday, you tell him you have a surprise for him. and his first, immediate assumption is-

"is it a cake? it's a cake, isn't it? definitely a cake. what kind? did you make your own frosting? how big is it? it's huge, right? please tell me i don't have to share-"

and again, you remind him he has to be patient. which makes him antsy. but...fine !!! he's (kind of) willing to wait, if it means he gets somethin' tasty out of it

you reveal it's a giant, twinkie cake. same recipe as the originals, but even better. you put your own little spin on it. made it extra special. and this is...LEGIT SO CRAZY !! it's totally AMAZING !! like, how did you even know ??

"i could kiss you right now, y'know that? i could, and i might. right after i dig into this bad boy. just you wait."

he doesn't think before he acts. ever.

he devours the whole thing before you can remind him to pace himself

normally, his rapid metabolism saves him any aches and pains. he can swallow down a whole pizza - or two - and be just fine

but this cake...this is a really, really big one. you went wayyyy above and beyond with it

he'll be keeling over in bed later, writhing in tummy achin' agony. but your baking is so worth the suffering

[bonefall]

LAMB STEW & BUTTERNUT SOUP RECIPES. GIVE

THE LAMB STEW RECIPE IS MINE. MINE ALL MINE

BUt I will actually teach you the butternut soup one, people don't realize how cheap butternuts are and how easy this recipe is. I had to teach my partner's family how to properly prepare butternut and they thanked me for it because it's ALWAYS on sale and SUPER easy to make.

You need a metal baking tray, a crockpot, and a blender. The blender is optional, but it makes the perfect creamy consistency

Other ingredients you're gonna need; Garlic, shallots, pepper, turmeric, curry and chicken stock

(though I remembered the recipe wrong when I was over there and used beef stock, fam still loved it though, soooo pick whatever stock you like best tbh. This is a super forgiving recipe, I promise if you're a beginner cook this is a great place to start)

ALSO FAIR WARNING: Idk how to measure anything. I do not actually have a written recipe.

Step 1: Cut the Nut

Cut it longways, like a canoe, and scoop the seeds out. Coat the fleshy-side with cooking oil and sprinkle some pepper on it if you like-- nothing needs to be done to the skin-side. Place it FLESH-DOWN on the baking tray and pop it in the oven, 425 degrees Fahrenheit, 40 - 50 mins

When it's done it looks like this (half-eaten babybel snack optional. bbq sauce not used, it was just there for emotional support)

You can actually eat it just like this.

Like if you're not looking to make soup, this compote can actually be made into all sorts of things. You can stick a spoon right in that and eat it. I've made like... fried butternut latke-things out of it, I have some compote in my freezer just for experimenting with.

If you're smart, you wait for it to cool down before you scoop the flesh out with a spoon. Im not 💗

Step 2: trust your heart to tell you how many fucking onions are in there

My partner is the one who's able to measure things, I simply put my faith in the claws of Velociraptor Jesus tell me what the ratio of garlic to butternut is. I am not allowed near baked goods. I do not cook by the book. I put too many ashes in my middle school volcano project and smoked out an entire classroom once.

This came out great though, and for it I used 2 white onions (about a cup), 4 cloves garlic, and some chopped shallots. All minced as much as possible.

Once that was all in I (think you're gonna see a theme here) kinda just eyeballed how much stock and spice was gonna go in, just doing taste tests until it was yummy... I think it was 2 cups stock water and 3-ish tablespoons of turmeric and curry? Next time I make it'll actually measure how much I use.

I really do just kinda taste-test things until it's good.

I would apologize that I don't have the family recipe actually written down for exact amounts but I don't think I will ✨Bless this mess ✨✨✨✨Welcome to living inside of my head✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Anyway through some magic later you get a mash that looks like this, I stirred it up real good.

Step 3: This is where the blender comes in

This is the most tedious part tbh, but it's worth it because you can't get it super creamy if you don't feed it through a blender.

At this point me and my partner grabbed the pot and poured it in because we had 4 hands between us and felt lazy, but if you're alone you should scoop it manually so you don't spill shit everywhere

And once you have that, portion out what you'd like, and add milk. When you first get the soup out of the blender, it's real thick. You add milk to get it to the consistency you want-- DO NOT ADD MILK TO THE WHOLE THING AT ONCE

IF YOU ADD MILK TO THE WHOLE THING AT ONCE, IT GOES BAD FASTER

This stuff can be frozen or fridged and it tastes just as good as it was when fresh, as long as you only add fresh milk when you're ready to eat it.

I usually eat it with a grilled cheese or some other kinda bread. And that's really it.

[chenyann]

Cake Bake!!

All boys!!

Today there is a cake bake!, if you don't know what that means let me explain, all students will have to bake a cake in 2 and a half hours.The best cake wins a date with the lovely prefect of ramshackle!

cw: gn!reader, crack & fluff, not much of my normal but I digress, unedited,based off someone who never play the cooking event💀.

Riddle

It looks good

But it's not🥲

It has 3 cups of salt in it

Trey told him it make the sugar sweeter

Plain cake

Plain icing

Plain in general

Yako score:

2/10

Was 0/10

+2 points because the flower

Trey

Looks cute(ˊᗜˋ )

strawberries 😍😍😍😍

tastes just right ✅

He probably added real strawberries inside (´-﹏-`)

Could it be better?

Yes

yako score:

8/10

-2 points because of too much icing

Carter

Looks like red velvet

It's not

It actually paprika

Butter cream icing

It looks like fish food at the top🤢

It's not? I hope

He tried(„• ֊ •„)੭

Yako score:

2/10

-8 because of me thinking it was red velvet.

Ace

No

Let me be like Gordon Ramsay real quick

ITS FUCKING RAW!

Done(•v•)

not only is it ugly

But it's raw

Done eat it babe 😔😔

it's chocolate

Too much chocolate

He probably put salt in it on purpose

Yako score:

0/10

He is gonna kill us both prefect 😪

Deuce

Ummm(·•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ )

He tried

It tastes ok....

I think

Was ment to be a marble cake

Failed

Too much egg in the icing

it's a plain cake

But with a little chocolate

So In taste wise

It's good

Yako score:

5/10

-5 cause it's ugly

Leona

ruggie made it

Told ruggie to write that

Plain

Plain

Plain

Atleast there is a heart

He gonna drag you to nap after the cake bake

Yako score:

1/10

-9 points because it's rude

Kept one because ruggie made it

Ruggie

Yum

It's plain

But it's from grandma bucchis cook book

😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋

I WOULD EAT IT LIKES ITS A **** I just said tart chill yall

4 layers!!!!!

Butter cream icing 😋

It's a bit original but there is bits of orange in it

That's what makes it a granny bucchi special!

Yako score:

10/10

It's a original, it has a twist,the buttercream makes it sweet but the orange makes it pop!

Jack

Oh?

This was unexpected 🤨

I like it

the sweetness of the berries makes the chocolate more flavourful

I would be better if icing was all around it but it's okay ig

he did his best(˶ᵔᴗᵔ˶)

the icing in the middle is lacking tbh

Yako score:

8/10

The aesthetic wasn't there

Azul

Guys

HEAR ME OUT

He can't bake

Poor boy wants that date tho

So who better to bake than the sea witch

He did Ursula dirty💀💀💀

It would taste good tho

It would taste like berries

Don't ask

But other than the...."lovely" art.

It's okay

Yako score:

6/10

-4 cause of the art

jade

Okay

It delightful

Very cute

may or maynot be real mushrooms...😅

Be careful

You dodon'want to be poisoned now do we(˶ᵔᴗᵔ˶)

butter cream flavored ^^

Yako Score:

9/10

I don't want him to poison me okay

floyd

...

Honestly I don't even know wtf this is

Don't eat

Someone put a caution sign on it

I'm so scared

DOES IT HAVE GRAVEY ON IT*@[++[[]*+

Oh no

God no

I think we are gonna die

I quit

It looks like my cats food

This makes me fr sick

Yako score:......

.......no

Kalim

Jamil done it

BUT!!!!

But. Kalim wrote a long and surprisingly good description of what he wanted made

Don't get me wrong tho, he wanted to make it

It's good

I don't like the nut tho..IM SORRY!😭😭

yako score:

7/10

-3 because of the nuts

Jamil

I didn't really try 🤓

He is lying

Wants to 1 up Kamil so bad

Probably sabotaged kalim💀💀💀

if you praise him istg prefect I will wack you

lives off fondant

Vanilla cake:0

It's really plain tbh

Yako score:

8/10

-2 because it's plain

And boring

Vil

Custom made(๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)

But very pretty 😍

Can I eat the butterflies?????

If not this is a scam

Half of it is organic icing

1/3 is cake

2/3 is icing and air

Don't ask

The design is kinda everywhere

But it somehow works

I think its the pink

Strawberry.

That it

MAYBE CHERRY??????

Yako score: 10/10 if I can eat the butterflies

If not then it's 7/10

Rook

Simple

Uhm

It's simple

It's cute

The colors look divine

positive message

I love it

Maybe a plain cake?

I would eat this

He would put a bit of salt too keep you on ur toes😌

Yako score:100/10

I love the vibes he is making

Epel

...

Don't get me wrong it would taste delightful

I just think he wouldn't know how to decorate it

So he did minions

Ummmmm

Rook offered to give tips but epel said no🙂🙂

Should have let him tbh

but i digress

Yalo score:

4/10

-6 for the minions

Idia

Let's be honest now

It's gonna be one of these

Yucky

Ew

No.

Yako score:

-100000000000000000000000/10

I'm being honest

Ortho

Sweet lil bby♡♡

he is a robot

There is no flaws

Unless he wants one

It is kinda plain

He would have done more

But it's still good

A lil bland

Because he won't eyeball the sugar🙄

But still good

Yako score:

7/10

-3 could be better

Malleus

Why yes that is a wedding cake

*hint hint wink wink*

He cheated and used magic

But you don't need to know

HE WILL DO ANYTHING TO WIN THST DATE WITH YOU PREFCET

he would say yall should cut it together

Smh

Down bad 😔

Plain

If it was me I would say no

Because it's plain

Sorry

Yako score:

3/10

-7 plain and cheated

Lilia

Run

And don't even think about eating it

You will get food poisoning

And it won't be pretty

If you wanna sit on the toilet for the next week then be my guest and eat it

Mayo acts as icing

.....the hotdog looks like a penis

Idk what that yellow stuff is😰😰

Yako score:

- ♾/10

We all know why

Silver

Made 3

His animal friend helped

Probably one of the best hand decorator and baker here

He did nice

It's cute

It's fun

Aesthetic was on point

The flavors would clash

the flowers add taste

Yako score:

10/10

This one is going places

Sebek

Nobody said that

It's okay

Everyone loves you

Sebek is just mad

he will get over it

Plain

I like the rainbow tho

Yako score:

2/10

I Liked the rainbow(〃⌒⤙⌒)ゞ

That all folks!!

Who do you think should win?

[lokorum]

ahhhh i wanted to share them for so long! but im so chaotic i cant even choose names for my oc that gonna stick for more than a week dfgjfdsgd ahhh but thanks to your super cute and heartwarming words i feel like you know, its not important if they half-baked - i can show them and talk about them a bit anyway! so yeah, some of my other tes oc! and nae!! wtih bad looking face injury!! because ofc!! let pretend he just fell on his way here okay my boi is a bit clumsy like that ;dlfkg;lfkg

へ_(‾◡◝ )>

so! the twins and satha! when i woke up a week ago they were refugees from morrowind, and yesterday? when looking at them? i was like ''hmmm looking pretty maormer for me ha……………..". so maormers they are………

nae spends a bit of time with this little family, after satha finds him wounded in the forest and decides to help, (later she teaches him basics of taking care of himself and other important stuff because a small reminder- nae has quickly progressing alzheimer).

but couple of years after that nae indirectly causes satha's death, shino's abduction and also sponsors isa's nightmares for the rest of her life while she witnessing all this shit, too young and terrified to do something.

nae tries not to panic and undone the whole situation but learns that wow death is death you cant do anything about it even if your magic mouth can speak magic words that make fire out of nowhere, you silly little biscuit, so he panics and flee and starting main quest which is lets be real the punishment in itself.

shino lives horribly as a servant\toyboy until everyone is dead and he isnt, and ended up in dark brotherhood. later in life he meets nae but because of the alzheimer nae doesnt remember neither shino, nor isa nor satha and its absolutely breaks shino's heart.

and isa has two main roots!

-> she may be ended up as neloth's apprentice; never seeing her twin-brother again, but she'll be safe and happy and really belongs there with this grumpy wizard's ass and his god awful tea

-> or! if she will meet nae again and as we established nothing good happens with anyone who meets nae her burning hatred and pain that she tried to soothe all her life will light up again, worse than ever. in her pursuit of justice she will join the vigilants of stendarr, then go rogue and then joins company of really nice fellows that may or may not include miraak. i 1000% roote for her choosing the first path but also i can wake up tomorrow thinking its a pretty good idea to make her daedric prince of bananas, so i probably? cant be trusted.

ehhh now when im rereading it i think i should have start with simple stuff like their fave food and colors, the clothes they wear but my brain were like DEATH MURDER SUFFORINGS and now we’re here. thank you for reading this mess! next time i write something about molag’s fave “do that go there what are you talking there’s no such word as vacation in daedric” xivkyn - aut’be and giant pain in everyone's ass and also mannimarco’s beloved punching bag - mazken ayasha! ʿʿ˅⁽ˆ⁰ˆ˺ ⁾˺

[bright-and-burning]

how do we feel about . listen hold on prefacing this w this is self indulgent self soothing bed time story style fic ideas. god why does this feel EMBARRASSING i gotta unpack THAT someday. but not today. like… ok also i can tell im having an Anxiety Moment bc instead of depth first searching my little day dreams (making plot choices until it’s settled and then backtracking by one choice and changing it and then backtracking etc etc) i am basically uncontrollably breadth first searching (honestly this one just google a diagram is gonna be easier to understand sorry) bc i can’t settle on a single thought rn. OK! anyways. nanny lando . teacher oscar . letting myself feel fluffy things abt them. except then i jumped over to nanny lando divorcé jenson and let myself think . decidedly less fluffy things abt them. but still some fluffy things. and then i was like BUT WHAT IF THEY WERE LESBIANS! really wish i had the ability to just bang out words bc there are so many things floating around in my brain. but i am not prolific and i am significantly better at the “just saying shit out loud” part of this process like i looooooove talking why can’t i just sit on the kitchen floor w u all and tell stories while waving around clementine slices. had a teachers au idea in the shower (extremely half baked believe me) where oscar has a one night stand bc he’s like . fuck it gotta live it up in my last weekend before real adult job ! and then shows up to his first job on monday and whoops one night guy is drum roll please the teacher in the classroom across the hall (if necessary pretend there’s some sort of convoluted reason why he wouldn’t have met lando during some kind of interview process. i don’t know how teaching works in the slightest im afraid. and certainly not how it works in any other country which is why this will never get written)

[transzilla]

"#but honestly no disrespect if i see anything to do with making a tgirl comptop like its revolutionary im gonna get pissed"

fuck thank you so much for saying this. seeing people glorify not just non-op but even... ANTI-op perspectives and sexuality, and frame lower dysphoric people who want/need SRS as dinosaurs is so depressingly transphobic.

just added extra when you've had trauma FOR being someone who doesn't have sex with the parts you were born with, and even other people in the queer/trans world will try to literally SA or verbally lash out to pressure you to do it. whatever happened to affirming people's transitions and needs yk?

comptop for trans girls and compbottom for trans guys is horrifyingly real and just an offshoot of misgendering and how transphobes always treat us pre-transition. i'm sick of people praising themselves as so revolutionary and queer for expecting me to have the same kind of sex as someone's conservative parents would approve of

I hear you omg I've also had incredibly gruesome experiences with people who can't seem to fathom the idea that I actually don't want to bottom as a trans male LMAO like with cis people it's like whatever ya'll are DEMONS anyway but with other trans people it really catches me off guard how common that sentiment is. it's incredibly disturbing that you'll see the same like entitlement issues and assumed consent and transphobic sexual assumptions in other gay and transgender people .. It feels like betrayal like it really truly does catch you off guard. Like I've had people try to talk me out of being a top like I was fucking lying or something saying like... whatever booboo shit like ohhh no way that's not you, you say yas queen sometimes you're too nice you're too cute I can't see you doing it... blah blah blah.. Like this shit is insane, do you hear yourself??

And like the thing about this inability for queer people to confront their transphobic expectations... they will run away from it seemingly forever!! Like I'll see people try to misconstrue their personal beliefs and make it seem like it's this lib slay because haha wow dude's on bottom and woman's on top. And they're trans. Sex positivity teehee time to assume cause I want this every trans person I meet will want this. All that shit about how they're correct meanwhile they're not taking no for a god damn answer!! Like at least conservative transphobes are just gonna tell it to you straight that they don't see you as a person LMAO there is no subliminal messaging politicizing bullshit. Like  is it really femdom female empowerment when the woman is topping when everyone fucking makes her top and no one considers what she wants? Like wowww that's some feminism right there LMAO

There are gonna be tons of people who will respect you for your preference nd SRS and will be like damn that's really cool but my heart breaks, sometimes, like the amount of lgbt people who perpetuate the same three ringed trans-people-are-pornhub-categories shitshow in a place they're parading as safe. Like it truly does feel like the half-baked offspring of misgendering, like well sure we can do all your pronoun crap but we think you owe us at least this. Like aren't ya'll supposed to be better about this bullshit? Trust no one!!! Lmao.

[padfootastic]

H E L L O jfp-eyes pen (thats your new name btw)

i know its a little late but my mind keep going back to it and i also talked about a similar issue w several other people on here since and i was wondering if you can/want elaborate on what you said about this:

"like, u want potters to be desi? it’s not just the cute clothes and good food and linguistic differences u need to keep in mind. there’s so much more where it comes from, including several practices that will be considered highly objectionable by this rigidly judgemental crowd."

((i am v v interested but no pressure to answer this, i totally get if you dont want to get into this discourse))

dani—you’re gonna pull me into the desi potters discourse one way or the other, eh?

so. i’m not sure how much sense this’ll make because it’s like…half-baked thoughts but my problem with this scenario actually stems from a more macro, general trend i’m noticing in fandom behaviour. for some reason, puritan culture & veiled conservatism is coming back in the guise of progressiveness? and that’s leading to a lack of critical thinking in these spaces & randomly attributing buzzwords to things out of context bc u don’t have more than a shallow understanding of it.

which means that that comment was directed at a very specific subset of fandom that decided that idk ignoring the Bad Things & Flaws would somehow make them cease to exist. let’s only take the most ‘exotic’, fun aspects even if it’s a completely one dimensional reading & run with it. they wouldn’t be able to tell u what desi is beyond the barebones.

so, you’ll have people vehemently arguing that the potters can’t be anything but desi and white james is gross and i’m just like—why. why are u, as a non-desi person, so attached to this headcanon that you’ll ridicule real people for it? and then their attitudes as well. the incest thing, for example. there are communities in india that marry their first cousins—if i write a story tomorrow where james marries his mother’s imaginary brother’s daughter, then depending on how i HC him, that’s perfectly culturally acceptable (and desirable). if i write a story where euphemia and fleamont use corporal punishment for him, and he takes it super lightly and jokes about it, that’s also fine. (which is a direct contrast to how the western black family & sirius’ abuse is treated). there’ a community in india where the man ‘drinks’ from his mother’s breast, publicly, at his wedding to symbolise the last time he’d be her son before he becomes someone’s husband. another where a new mother can’t feed her son until her sister-in-law washes her breast thoroughly. caste is something that’s not even touched upon. it’s so complicated. but how do u think it’ll be received by most of the desi potter crowd if i actually do write any of this? will i be praised for my ~representation or called out on twitter for being a freak?

and that’s really where i get annoyed. the attitudes most of this crowd hold does not have any space for cultural subjectivity, what is ok to them has to be universally ethical. there’s no way other cultures do things their way and if they do, it’s barbaric/backward/problematic etc etc. pseudo-colonial, like i said.

(disclaimer: i want it to be made very clear i’m not demanding people nclude this stuff in their fics. i’m well aware of how escapism works, being the premier advocate for it. im just saying it won’t hurt to be mindful of these facts, that this is a whole culture that’s ridiculously diverse that doesn’t just exist for the sake of people’s headcanons)

and this isn’t even going into the cultural nuances of how desi families work. you can’t bring in american/european individualism & have james move out at 18 & write everything transactionally & do everything the way u would for a white character but only pay lip service when saying they’re brown ykno? when u say they’re a certain identity, there’s so much that comes with that. and if u don’t include any of that, then it really just makes me wonder why u want a brown james—feels like ego appeasement and falling to peer pressure half the time tbh.

another important thing for me is that so much of this crowd intersects with the ‘fandom is activism’ crowd and i just. fundamentally disagree with those people. and find their words/actions incredibly performative. by which i mean, the way they treat real people—people from the communities they’re adopting as HCs for their beloved characters. there’s this…hypocrisy, yeah? what i mentioned above, about how if i wrote some culturally different practice, i’d probably be attacked. they don’t want desi potter, they want white-lite potters that is palatable to & tailored for their own constitution but in a form that they can pass of as ‘oh look, my characters r diverse which makes me Morally Good and i can use that to shit on others’.

i think my problem is just that i don’t like it when people use the identity headcanons to portray themselves as being inherently better because they have ~equal representation. fandom is not a government institution—lateral visibility & membership is not a prerequisite to wanting to write about x and y fucking or going on a date or hugging or having a conversation. making a marauder group where each character—functionally an OC—is from a different community (often w/o considering how intersectionality works) for the sake of saying ‘oh i have a x in my HCs’ does not make u some radical leftist, yeah? and i strongly dislike people who pretend it does.

[dirtbag-linecook-kyloren]

Spinach Asparagus Risotto

OKAY SO @tinpotterror (WHY WONT TUMBLR EVER LET ME TAG U ILL JUST SEND IT TO U)

the first thing to cover is that recipes, like real recipes in cookbooks, have been tested and written carefully, thought about and shit

I'm going to do none of that because the few recipes I have written are so full of shorthand to be illegible to anyone else, and they're only for baking

but I start with the things I need to do before you ever get the shallots for the 'sotto going

the chicken was just chicken thighs with salt pepper oil chili powder and onion powder, cooked on 400 until done and then set to the side. i nuked it in the mike to serve because chicken thighs are forgiving abt that, chicken breast less so.

the vegetables were cooked on a sheet tray at 400 for ??? until the tomatoes started to blister. It was a pound of asparagus, ends chopped off, cut into like... 1/3-1/2 inch long pieces and a pint of... grape? tomatoes cut in half. If you have thick asparagus i'd leave teh tomatoes hole, because youll need a longer cook time, but mine were really thin which Im not pleased abt but whatever

while ur cutting veg i'd chop your shallot, I go for pieces the same size as the rice grain, when I'm adding it to any rice dish, because I DO NOT like cooked onion texture and I want to lose it in there. set it aside

ur also gonna want to grate your own parmesan, i use a microplane, pregrated cheese is covered in cornstarch to keep it from sticking together and It fucks with the consistency of everything

I also cooked 4 slices of bacon and rough chopped them, set them to the side. Save the grease if you want to use it to sautee ur onions, i did bc i wanted the extra flavor. otherwise use ur oil of choice

the most annoy part was blanching the spinach? you can ABSOLUTELY just rough chop some spinach and throw that shit in after you've added the other veg, but i had a whole bunch i needed to process that I got for free from work. You get a large pot of water, boil, dump in your spinach. dump into a strainer, squeeze out some of hte excess water, but be careful it's hot as hell, and then dump it onto a sheet tray and throw it into the freezer for a few minutes. Take it out, blend or food process it, and then put it back on the tray and then back in the freezer. i know ur about to use it, in this case, but cooling it quickly helps retain the color, some bullshit to do with chlorophyll

then you can start the 'sotto. take ur bacon grease or oil, let that get hot, then add ur shallots. when they get transparent, add minced garlic, i use the jar kind because I'm VERY LAZY, give that a minute, listen to the sizzles, dump in ur optional bacon, and then u add ur rice. get the rice to stock ratios from a random recipe online, that's what I did, and then you toast that shit for a little bit. I don't really know WHY you're supposed to do this, maybe depth of flavor maybe liquid retention?? i just know that you DO and it helps or some shit.

once it's like, toasted, (I had a lot of rice and a bit too much fat so it took like five minutes), add your stock like, 1/2 a cup at a time? I don't measure, so idk if i'm actually adding 1/2? you just add a little stock, let it get fully absorbed, and then add more. when you can scrape the bottom of the pan and the like, goo stuff, stays fully in place, thats when ur good to add more. once you've added all the stock, dump the spinach puree in, if you pureed it, because it will have to come to temp. then add the veggies you roasted, then ADD the parmesean, then let it cook a bit longer to get everything together

i don't cook with alcohol really, so I don't use white wine, but i know lots of recipes do use it? i hope that ANY of this makes sense, but that's what I did!

oh yeah and then nuke the chicken in chef mike and put it on top and BAM you got 'sotto!!!

[arttrampbelle]

Cw: vent

Vent time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mk11 doesn't have plotholes

IT HAVE PLOT CHASMS. PLOT ABYSSES.

Plots so huge,so confusing,so stupid. It makes the old sub zero mythologies,and special forces side games look like decent plots.

The only thing good about it is the og actor is back as shang but even then it's still painful.

9,story is garbage. But the gameplay is amazing.

10,gameplay is out of this world. Story is mid,horrible for some characters but solid main big boss. Online i heard is better than 11. But i hate online competitive gameplay. It kinda sucks the fun away. And not worth it. Plus the amount of guest characters because they killed half the roster. It's ridiculous. And unnecessary. So yeah.

11. *breathes in*. 11. Again they knew the story was crap,half baked. So they made a whole ass expansion to a lukewarm story nobody cared for. To retcon a retcon THEY MADE. And guess what? It's that "we are gonna take everything you love about this series and take a huge fat shit on it. For profit" if you like shang tsung,you may love 11. But even then it feels off. But again thats the best they can do. And you damn well we ain't gonna have this again. If there ever will be a 12. Because at this point im not so sure. And honestly i don't care if they dont make a 12.

It would be a shame. But honestly I'd rather take a non canon ACTUALLY GOOD MK GAME. no bullshit. No fillers. No guest characters. No micro transactions. Just a good ol fashioned mk game. Pick a character,pick an arena,and fight. No complicated over explained story. Simple and to the point. Let the audience and players make a story. Or at least,bring back the spirit of mk. Bring back the ACTUAL CHOOSE YOUR DESTINY part in mk,with more than 2 choices. More than "good" vs "evil" actually have real constructive morally grey areas. Like it's not that hard.

Like get better writers. Fr.

Wattpad has better writers than you NRS.

WATTPAD!

You had 30yrs to get it right. 30!

Almost as old as i am.

Fr. No excuses. You are a decent,multibillion company. Or at very least a professional one. Your servers should be always up to date. You should have things actually in a row. The basics at least.

Like there is no excuses on being sloppy.

This isn't just about mk. This is also from a business perspective.

If you know your story isnt solid. Get better writers. Or tell your writers to stop relying on dumb tropes. And have actual creativity.

You can make things modern without pandering.

You can have nods to nostalgia without pandering too.

Subtle is better.

Cheeky one liners you cant rely on.

If the motives aren't solid. Then things fall apart.

Like they knew that if they dont bring back shang tsung as a big bad boss. It would suck.

Because how can they top corrupt form shinnok. Let's be honest....that was badass.

Nothing was ever really changed. And its a waste of time.

We get nothing but absolute perfection from tagawa's performance. But other then him. Mk11 is weak af.

So again. You like cary hiroyuki tagawa? Good. You're in luck. You like shang tsung? He's the man of the hour.

If you like anything else,anybody else,NRS said fuck you.

Which sucks. Because as a shang tsimp. It pisses me off that that's all they relied on.

And they can't pull that shit again. Because people will know. They already probably do.

They rely on cheap gimmicks,to prey on non mk fans,new fans who haven't touched mk in their whole ass existence and are just getting into it,and y'all fall for it. Because people seem to have short attention spans and need their gatcha fix no matter how poor quality.

Like im sorry. Even if you are new. Have better standards in storytelling. This is a professional company. They shouldn't be worse then us fans telling fart jokes in a fanfic about silly fighting game characters in colorful jammies.

Im just saying.

Im done venting now.

[jamisonwalker1996]

So I’m going into my junior year of college at the moment. I play lax there, and one of my lax bros Darren and I started beach lifeguarding last summer. It’s a good way to get tan and an excuse to spend all summer at the beach showin off the gym gains. We rent this shitty trailer house on the edge of the town and room together, doin whatever the hell we want. It’s a whole lotta fun, except when you absolutely dump in your pants at work.

Anyway, last summer one of the hottest days of the year, Darren and I had a typical all day shift, 10–6. Darren was on a different rotation today, so I wasn’t gonna see him much. Given the heat and the fact that Darren and I had drank the night before, I was chugging waters, so much so that I was pissin in my trunks every 30 minutes (that was childs play though most dudes i know do the same). I had an egg salad, a chicken sandwich, and a protein shake for lunch, trying to get over my hangover and fuel my body. I make it through the rest of the day and im chillin.

I get up into the stand for my last sit of the day and immediately feel my stomach rumbling. Oh no, I thought, the beer and my lunch had finally caught up to me. I struggle through the next 45 minutes, pushin out nasty farts. I’m wearing only a visor, tight red swim trunks and some white briefs underneath, I definitely was stainin my undies, but at this point i didnt give a fuck. I look down at my watch, 5:45, only 15 minutes left. I had to go real bad at this point. I clench my fists and my abs so hard that my veins were poppin out. Finally, 6 o’clock hits, I’m off the clock, anybody left on the beach was on their own, because I was about to explode.

I get on my ATV and drive to the guardhouse, about a half mile away. My ass cheeks are quivering, I’m cropdusting as I drive, more like cropfertilizing. I park my ATV in the garage and walk towards the guardhouse, a little brick building behind a dune. There was a crusty locker room inside with a single nasty toilet that nobody really used, but I couldn’t care less I was gonna bomb that thing. This was bouta be the sweetest shit I ever did take. I spedwalked, I ran, I didn’t think I was gonna make it, not that it mattered, my undies were already moist, either with sweat, piss, or shit. I sprint up the front stairs and inside, farting with every step. I was gonna make it, I could see the bathroom door. I bust it open, and I see Darren on his way out.

It reeked in there, I could tell Darren had just had the same idea I did, and he beat me to it. I turn to see that toilet splattered with his mess, he hadn’t even flushed. Out of shock from the stench and running into Darren, I pause and it was almost like my body was confused. It wasn’t expecting this in its plan to destroy a public toilet. Darren daps me up and as soon as he slaps me on my sweaty back, it happened. I shat my pants. I immedietaly and audibly explode, filling my tighty whities to the brim. BLORT. Diarrhea mushroomed around my ass and up around my balls. It was awesome. I smiled and closed my eyes as I finally had sweet release. A gallon of hot shit the consistency of baked beans or baby food spilled out of me and onto me. Residual moisture dampened the mesh of my trunks. I had never felt better. The stench intensifies and I come back to my senses. I open my eyes to find Darren smiling at me in awe. “Dude, what did you do,” he says with a laugh. “Too many beers bro.” We both laughed our asses off and decided it was time to head out.

I walk out with pride, with my chest out and shoulders wide. Even though I completely unloaded in my pants I was still the sexiest mf on this beach. That was the best dump I’d ever taken, even if it was into a pair of tight swim trunks. We hop in my truck and the mud immediately smushes around in my briefs as I sit. I felt so primal. This aint the first time I shit myself in this truck. We roll with the windows down all the 20 minutes back to the house, Darren grimacing and laughing at how bad I reek. Halfway through the ride I’m hit with a second wave, and though I definitely coulda made it back, I push out another slimy load right where I’m sitting because why not. I’m a man and I’m free. Darren loses it with laughter. “If it makes you feel better I wet the bed last night,” Darren says. I scoff, “childs play.”

[domesticateddog]

my stomach/colon pain is so much worse when i wake up it almost makes me not want to sleep but i dont understand why it’s like every morning im greeted with a hard punch to the gut and weakness

[reidsnose]

cosmically connected

overview: spencer has a sudden realization after having a conversation with you

genre: F L U F F

a/n: i just think this one is super cute hehe also it takes place like at the end of the work day and half the team has already gone home lmao

masterlist

"you really don't believe in soulmates?" Garcia pressed on.

"I'm a man of science! and science says no" Reid retorted.

"actually, science man, science says yes," you butted in, as you stopped packing up your things, pushing yourself off your desk in your spinnie chair to be nearer to them.

Reid turned in his chair to see the newcomer, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding when you smiled at him.

"is that so?" he teased, cocking an eyebrow.

you loved when you had a bit of attitude with each other. a cocky side of Spencer wasn't a common occurrence, so when it appeared you felt your cheeks grow red.

"oh! y/n you told me about this the other day! i said you sounded just like boy genius remember!" Garcia giggled, shaking her hands in excitement.

"yeah i remember." you laughed.

"can you tell me!" Reid feigned exasperation as he grew inpatient.

"relax! I'm about to!" you chuckled before continuing. "basically, when the big bang, or whatever caused the creation of the universe happened, there was all sorts of molecules and space dust that was together at one point that broke apart. do you agree?"

"yes." he answered cautiously.

"and in the whole universe is made of those particles?"

"mhm."

"im gonna stop calling them particles because i hate that word so im saying space dust. but in that case, humans are made of said space dust?"

"hmm... yeah thats correct."

"so two people could be made of the same space dust that was once whole?"

"i-yeah i guess you could say that."

"in that case, these two are cosmically connected then. bound together from the beginning by the beginning. in other words:" you wiggled your fingers as some sort of tiny 'ta-da' for dramatic effect, "soulmates!"

Spencer's mouth opened. and then closed. and then opened again, but then closed back up.

"he's speechless! you left the resident genius speechless! and you proved him wrong!" Garcia chirped, flashing and award winning smile to you.

you looked at Spencer, watching the wheels turn in his head. never in your life had you met a person quite like him. you loved watching him just exist, everything he did brought a blush to your cheeks. your felt embarrassed to crush so hard on a coworker, but you were convinced he didn't feel the same so it didn't really matter. you enjoyed adoring him from afar if it meant you could at least be his friend.

"i cant believe it." he stated simply, looking into your eyes and feeling as though he'd been electrocuted. in a good way.

you giggled looking down for a moment, afraid to keep eye contact for too long.

"what do you say braniac? did i convince you?" you asked, looking back up to meet his gaze.

the way you looked at him, Spencer was sure he would melt. you gave him a sly smile as you awaited a response, and he felt his heart rate quicken. every moment the two of you had ever shared together flashed through his mind and he was hit with a sudden realization.

"soulmates are real." he confirmed, cracking a goofy smile.

but he didn't come to that conclusion because of your scientific explanation.

it was because in that moment, he was sure he had found his soulmate. you.

"yes!" you exclaimed and interrupted his thoughts, spinning around in your chair and tapping excitedly on his desk.

"science said soulmates! science said soulmates!" Garcia said in a sing song voice, pushing you around the bullpen in her office chair.

Spencer couldn't help but laugh as he watched the scene unfold before him.

"when are you going to tell her?" morgan asked, clapping the younger boy lightly on the shoulder.

"i dont know. never? and maybe not even then." he responded much too quickly, feeling embarrassed at his crush.

"come on man! you're a profiler you gotta know shes into you!"

"except for the part where she isnt."

"i cant wait to say i told you so."

"youll be waiting a while."

"ah but not forever, pretty boy. not forever!" morgan laughed before walking out of the bullpen with garcia.

Reid scoffed lightly and rolled his eyes, though a smile tugged at his lips at the idea of you liking him back.

"aw man!" you cursed at you phone, after standing up from your desk with your bag in your hand.

"whats wrong?" he inquired, hands gripping his satchel as he walked through the now nearly empty bullpen to your desk.

"my friends had to cancel plans," you sighed, setting your phone down.

"oh im sorry. is there anything i can do?" he asked politely, making your heart flutter as you walked towards the elevators.

"no not really, i just need to figure out what to do with all the cookies i baked them." you joked, trying to bring light to your slowly dimming mood.

"i can help you eat them. we could watch a movie, or i could read to you." he offered, cheeks glowing a soft red under the streetlight.

"i think that sounds perfect," you smiled, a sudden flush filling your chest. "you wanna just ride with me?" you offered, opening your car door.

"yeah sure." he agreed, smiling softly.

"so," you began as you pulled out of the parking lot.

"so," he chuckled.

"do you really believe in soulmates now?" you asked, curious on how you were able to convince him so quickly.

his heart thumped wildly in his chest, "yes. i think ive met mine."

you felt your face fall but only for a second, forcing yourself to be happy for him, "aww, whats her name."

"y/n." he answered, nearly causing you to crash the car.

you swerved to the edge of the road and pulled over.

"what?" you questioned, breathless from the sudden news.

"i said her name name is y/n." he said nervously.

"im so glad you said that because im positive mine is named spencer." you smiled, feeling a sort of warmth spread through your body that you had never felt before.

he smiled a wide, goofy grin before placing a soft kiss to your lips which you gladly returned.

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

I like pinning/jealous!Mercury and i live for Emerald City Siblings so have this less than half baked idea that popped into my head earlier

Time travel baby ✨

Emerald and Oscar get deliberately sent to the past (Oscar semblance? Magic spell?)

In the future (no more than 10 years. Im thinking more like 6 years) Emerald and Oscar are partners

They're besties. They're affectionate.

So they go back in time. Im thinking either after Mercury splits off from the group/Emerald leaves or sometime before Mercury knows what Oscar looks like

They pop up in different places. Emerald pops up either next to Mercury or in the same building as him

I have NO IDEA what any version of older!Emerald's hair would look like so if you have ideas please drop them in the notes

She looks mostly the same. She dresses mostly the same too. She's still skinny (years of low caloric intake will effect your body like that) and she's got this large jagged scar going across one of her collar bones

The real differences are in how she carries herself. Mercury, who's trained to be observant, notices them. She has more confidence/self-esteem. She's more comfortable in herself. She's grown up

She's also stopped mimicking Cinder, which Mercury appreciates

Not that Emerald brushed Mercury off but she's a woman on a serious mission who's worried about her partner, so she starts looking for Oscar within her first 3 minutes there and half-ignores Mercury who's following her asking her all these questions because he's so confused right now

Maybe she has some kind of marker of having a boyfriend? Mercury definably notices that now. (Rings? Specific hair thing? A filled in soulmate mark?)

They quickly run into Oscar

Now Oscar looks a bit different. He's finished puberty so he's taller, almost as tall as Emerald (so short for a guy, but also perfect height for Emerald to give him affectionate cheek/temple kisses... which will make Mercury jealous in a minute), he's filled out a bit more (so more wide), and his voice has dropped

Its pretty clear that Oscar is still young, but he looks just old enough for Mercury to assume him and Emerald are dating

Its a cute reunion, if you're not Mercury

They relieve shout each others name, run towards each other, and hug each other really tightly

Like i-thought-you-died-tightly

Maybe one of them picks the other up a little

When they pull away Emerald doesnt go far. Oscar's forehead is bleeding and she's pushing his bangs back to get a closer look

At this point Mercury has put Time Travel Confusion on the back burner to be Jealous over how close they physically are

Emerald squints and asks if Oscar is okay/what happened with such concern it almost makes Mercury "im allergic to expressing feelings" Black gag. Oscar gives a little laugh, says its all alright. Emerald then kisses his eyebrow before pulling him back into her so she can hug him again, where she cradles the back of his head and holds it against her neck while she presses another kiss to the side of his head and says "im glad you're alright"

Jealous Mercury is in full swing and driving the car right now. Has made the conclusion 1) Oscar is Emerald's boyfriend 2) Mercury himself is not Emerald's boyfriend 3) Oscar is Emerald's partner and her boyfriend so not only did Emerald replace him his replacement is getting everything Mercury wants

Mercury does what he always does when Emerald expresses care or love to or for another person: shut her down

It doesnt work. See future!Emerald is not longer not-expressing her feelings. She's found people who care about her and lets her openly care about them. She's also got years of experience with this exact Mercury BS

Oscar himself doesnt care what other people think or say about himself personally. He has inherited that particular personality trait from Oz by now

So they just act like he didnt say anything and keep doing what they were gonna do anyways. This upsets Mercury a little

Yadda yadda yadda actual plot elements

At one point both Emerald and Oscar have told him separately they are not dating but that just makes Mercury think they're gonna end up dating really soon

Towards the end Mercury finds out Emerald's boyfriend is HIM

He gets smug and happy about it

(Dont worry, future!Mercury is a lot less emotionally constipated. And surprisingly fond of PDA (which isnt that surprising considering how jealous he can get))

Someone tells him its not gonna happen anytime soon, he's actually about to not see Emerald for a very long time. So he'll have to be patient. He looks at future!Emerald and thinks "yeah, it'll be worth it"