#incorrect falcon

[i-a-q]

Sam: How are you sunburned already? We’ve been here for five minutes!

Bucky: grumbling Super-soldier serum didn’t come with sunscreen.

[i-au-a-q]

Hydra!Peter

Steve: Wait, Hydra made you?

Peter: Yup. Spider powers and all.

Sam: Why aren’t you more messed up?

Steve: Sam!

Peter: I eat a lot of pizza. Helps balance things out.

[marvelnatasha]

Sam: I am an expert at identifying birds. I'm THE Falcon.

Bucky: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?

Sam: Yeah, they're all birds.

[marvelsgirl616]

[coffeeandjuice]

Bucky every 2 seconds: …You know, Sam—

The rest of the Thunderbolts*: oh my fucking god please stop talking

[faerieriddle]

Sam: “do you ever just see a man so bisexual? Like, you just know that’s a man kisser?”

Bucky wearing cuffed jeans, worn leather jacket, and taking a guilty drag of a cigarette while standing beside a rebuilt motorcycle: “I have no idea what you mean”

[callmefirefly]

Joaquin: What are you writing?

Bucky: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information.

Sam, looking over Bucky's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

[definitelyincorrect]

Bucky: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeves.

Sam: I think you mean cards.

Steve: He does not.

Bucky, pulling out an alarming number of knives: I do not.

[lives-in-midgard]

Bucky: You can’t make everyone like you. You’re not Y/N.

Sam: Not everyone likes Y/N.

Bucky: Who doesn’t?

Sam: Well...

Bucky: Names, now. Give me their names.

[youbutstupid]

Sambucky divorce isn't real and they confuse the others by being weirdly chill with eachother outside of the drama happening around the avengers

Bucky: what's happening with you rn?

Sam: nothing, oh I'm taking you to court though

Bucky: oh that's not good, can you like not do that please?

Sam: no

Bucky: hmph. Okay well that means you're gonna be in New York right?

Sam: unless they bring you guys to DC?

Bucky: well wherever it is, wanna grab lunch when the trial is over?

Sam: sure, loser of the case has to cover the bill <3 can I bring my guys along?

Bucky: fine, can I bring mine?

Sam: no, your guys deeply unsettle me

-

Joaquin: I’m so confused are they fighting?

Yelena: I don’t even know anymore to be honest

[i-a-q]

Clint: So, uh, anyone wanna talk about what just happened?

Sam: Nope. Absolutely not.

Peter: Can we all agree to never speak of it again?

Tony: *wiping his brow* I’m with the kid.

[i-au-a-q]

Hydra!Peter

Sam: So… you were Hydra. How did you, you know, switch sides?

Peter: They wouldn’t let me listen to my playlists.

Sam: *laughing* So you betrayed Hydra for music?

Peter: It’s a basic human right.

[itzsephig5]

Bucky: I owe you one. Sam: That’s ok. You can just date me, and we’ll call it even.

[romanoffshouse]

Bucky: Y/N, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?

Y/N: I don’t know, I love you, talk to you later.

Bucky: Alright, I love you too, I'll ask Sam.

Y/N: Wait- Bucky , no-

[marvelsgirl616]

[incorrect-marvel-because-why-not]

Some of the Avengers are on a hike Rhodey: It’s beautiful out here. Bruce: And quiet. Sam: Too quiet. Bucky: Did we lose someone? cut to Steve with a bear in a headlock