#kerosceene

[mammutblog]

batfam email password headcanons

bruce’s email password:

jason’s birthday backwards

dick’s email password:

TrukzRK00L!69 he made it when he got his first computer

barbra’s email password:

its beyond human comprehension

tim’s email password:

an algorithmically generated password like #31-G!h334^a340@DFck that changes every 3-4 weeks at random

steph’s email password:

12345679

jason’s email password:

its blueberry but the b’s are 8’s, like 8lue8erry

cass’s email password:

its an acronym of all her favourite katy perry songs

duke’s email password:

its an acronym of all of his favourite ke$ha songs, he made his password with cass. they both never check their emails.

damian doesn’t have his own email yet he’s still using the robin@teentitans.com address that’s just full of spam emails bc all the robins use it for subscriptions and discount codes

[the-coffeeaddict-tim-drake]

Tim Drake Fics On A03

These are my list of Tim Drake fics on A03. It has everything. Angst, fluff, funny sibling relationship, family fluff, The core four etc... There are few TimKon fics thrown here and there too. Have fun.

Tim Drake (Doesn't) Drink Coffee by BabblingBookends

Every year, Tim goes on a caffeine detox for a month and has to deal with the resulting withdrawal symptoms. He doesn't tell the rest of the Bats about this, because, uh, reasons!

Bang, bang by Ididloveyou_once

‘You shot me!’ Jason gasped, stunned, ‘Holy shit, you actually shot me.’

Tim’s eyes widened and he froze. They stared at each other for a second, dumbstruck and then-

‘Don’t tell Bruce.’

Or: The family enjoy a normal movie night. Except Jason has a gunshot wound and Tim’s the only one who knows and oh- that’s because Tim’s the one who shot him and they really, really need to find a way to leave before anyone finds out.

Play it Again by Jazz020

The manor feels too quiet without music. Tim and Damian bond over music.

Send to All by kerosceene

I, ___________________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”).

-

The bats have a sex pollen release form. Because of course they do.

This is on of the most funniest batfam fic I have ever read.

four brothers, one crush, and absolutely zero brain cells to be found by Ms_Trickster

Tim: i need to know what’s the best way to a boy’s heart 

Damian: Easy. The best way to someone’s heart is through their ribcage. Everyone knows that. 

Damian: Come on Timothy, I expected better from you. 

Dick: I-

Dick: Try again

-

Tim is having boy troubles.

Tim goes to his brothers for help.

Tim...did not think that plan of action through.

(In which the batbros give Tim advice on relationships, told entirely through texts.)

Their sibiling relationship is too damn funny.

Home by sElkieNight60 

“Why didn't you call home?” the Red Hood is scolding him, bizarrely making his head spin with how unreal everything suddenly seems. “Why didn't you call Dad? You've been missing for three days and he is losing his mind―he thinks you've been kidnapped again―everyone has been pulling double runs all over the city trying to find you! You fucking disappeared! Seriously, Baby Bird, give us one good reason why we shouldn't drag your ass back home right now and have Dad bench you until the end of all days!?”

The two vigilantes are staring at him equal parts furious and equal parts relieved, but there must be some kind of mistake, because:

“Who is Tim?”

Only A03 users can read this fic.

Cork Board Contingencies by PrinceJakeFireCake

If you don’t use a cork board to obsessively plan contingencies for every possible way a date with your best friend can go, how can you go on a date at all?

Excerpt: “Are you free next Saturday?” Tim asked, pretty sure that Kon’s jumble of words was agreement that he wanted to date Tim.

“Maybe!” Kon exclaimed.

“Cool,” Tim commented, taking another sip of his drugged grape soda (“Dammit, Tim,” he mentally told himself. “Do not give in! Buy new grape soda! Stop drinking the drugged grape soda! I’ve shotgunned another can of drugged grape soda, haven’t I? Dammit, that makes five!”) then saying, “That gives me just enough time to pass out for fifty-two hours and plan our first date.”

Bloodlines by chibi_nightowl for exiled-one (mistralle)

“Mr. Drake, I can’t think of a better way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt. This file is for your first adoption. By the Drakes.” 

Tim blinked. “My what?” 

“You were adopted as a newborn by Jack and Janet Drake.” 

“Excuse me, but what the fuck are you talking about?”

No words. This fic is just mind blowing.

fill in the blanks by mindshelter

“You?” Tim blurts. Holy shit. “You’re Kon?”

A nod. “Are you in any pain?” he asks again.

Kon’s skin is sun-kissed, cheekbones dusted with a fine smattering of freckles; he is, without exaggeration, the prettiest person Tim has ever seen. “No, I’m—great,” he says, fidgeting. “Do you, uh, come here often?”

Kon raises a brow. “To the medbay?” he intones. “Definitely more often than I’d prefer.”

Road Rage Robin by heartslogos 

"I'd be doing humanity a favor." Tim grinds out, "And I would get away with it. I could totally get away with it. I've done worse."

Only A03 users can read this fic

Liberal Usage of the Bro-Code by heartslogos for protagonistically (the_protagonist)

“You’re never going to guess who’s blood is on my shirt – similarly, this is not my shirt but these are my pants.”

Only A03 users can read this fic.

Here's a Reminder (That You Haven't Fallen Through the Cracks) by popsunner

If it’s a salesperson, he’ll shove them a hundred dollar tip and tell them to go away, if it’s some religious do gooder, he’ll direct them to Metropolis. If it’s a Rogue, he’ll tell them he’s busy and to please get in the fucking line. If it’s one of his siblings--

“Hey, Tim!” Dick says brightly, forearm braced against the doorframe.

Dammit.

i totally don't have amnesia by impravidus for odd_izzy

Based on this john mulaney bit: “I also think it's weird in movies when someone has amnesia and they wake up in the hospital. A lot of times they'll be surrounded by friends and family, but when they open their eyes they go "Who are you?" Because that's not how you act when you don't recognize somebody. That's very rude. It would be chaos out there if every time you saw someone you didn't recognize, you went, "Who are you?" I always try to be really polite in life, so like if I had amnesia, you'd never know it. I'd wake up and they'd be like "Hi John, we're so happy you're awake." And I'd just be like, "Oh, hey, man, how's it going?", "Oh, hey, dude, nice to see you again." because that's how you act when you can tell that someone recognizes you and you have no fucking clue who they are.”

Detective Timothy Drake and the Mysterious Case of the Unclaimed Dildo by JpegDotJpeg

Tim had a lot of experience with problem solving. Every goddamn day he was solving problems. There was no shortage of problems in Tim’s life. He’d learned how to deal with overbearing parents, underbearing parents, malfunctioning equipment, in-team conflict, lawsuits, emotional breakdowns, financial difficulty, broken ribs, ill-timed boners, and a whole host of other bizarre, anxiety-inducing, or life-threatening issues that plagued his existence.

None of them had prepared him for finding a dildo in the dishwasher.

I had so much fun reading this.

Little Overlooked Dreams by Lunette3002 for Marzue

Tim weighed his options. He was alone at night in some alleyway in Gotham. He had nothing except the clothes left on the ground by someone and the cloak wrapped around his skinny shoulders. His camera was nowhere in sight. His backpack was gone too.

He brought the device to his ear. “Hello?”

Whatever talking had been on the other end of the line immediately cut off at his hesitant greeting.

“Who is this?”

Family Photos by KelpieCodyne 

“I thought you quit your photo stalking?”

“In my defence, I never said I was quitting, and you never asked if I would,” Tim immediately counters. “So really, this is kind of on you.”

Just because Tim became a bat, doesn’t mean he stopped taking photos of bats. Several times Tim took photos of the batfamily, and one time they took photos of him.

One of my all time favorite fic. And only A03 users can read this fic too.

picture perfect memories by Fandom_Trash224 

“I… require assistance with something. I believe you are best-suited for it.”

Tim raises an eyebrow, but motions for the younger boy to enter his room. As Damian does, he slowly closes the door behind him, and Tim notices a small piece of what Tim assumes to be paper in Damian’s hand. Then, he realizes it’s not just a piece of paper: it’s a photo.

Damian approaches Tim, holding out the photo at arm’s length once he’s close enough to do so, saying, “I would like you to explain this photo to me.”

Tim glances down at it, and to both his surprise and mild horror, he recognizes the photo.

Only A03 users can read this fic.

Biphasic Reaction by renecdote

People may have allergic reactions all the time and be fine, but they can also die from them. He has a flash of sudden, morbid curiosity about what the exact statistics for fatal allergic reactions are.

Only A03 users can read this fic.

miles and miles (in their shoes) by JUBE514

Where is Damian? Why can’t he see anything clearly? Where is the little brat? Damian had been by him in the cave when everything had exploded, they had been arguing like always when the two of them had gotten the punishment to go clean the trophy room, stop yelling at each other, stop being at each other's throat for two minutes and go clean the goddamn trophy room-

They had been cleaning, got into another knock out drag out argument, and it had come so close to blows and they had been screaming more than cleaning and-

The stupid fucking shoe, in the magical section- exploded out-

--

Tim and Damian switch bodies, the two of them realize exactly why the other does the things they do.

The Waynes, Damsels in Distress by hitthedeck

Roses are red, violets are blue, Bruce Wayne and his kids get kidnapped every other week. Some things are just universal, undeniable facts of life.

Or, in which Bruce Wayne is still Batman and his kids are still Robins, but they keep letting themselves get kidnapped because they think it's funny.

Have You Seen My Kids!? by Cute_Bear

Five Times Bruce's kids interrupted him as Bruce Wayne and One Time they interrupted him as Batman with the Justice League.

This is not Tim - centric, but it has really nice batfam fluff.

ten cents richer by Ms_Trickster

You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

That’s how the saying goes. Take enough punches from the universe and eventually it becomes harder and harder to pop back up, to see the worth in fighting back, to stop yourself from turning around and delivering some punches of your own.

Tim never wanted to become the villain—

“Appendicitis,” Tim breathed in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

—but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted to burn the world to ashes when shit like this kept happening to him.

A Saturday Evening by malcyon

Jonathan shrugs, catches the expression still on Tim’s face. “We did throw out the cyanide.”

“Only because it expired.”

“Marty.”

“Well, it did.”

*****

Kon invites Tim over for dinner. Tim's not sure if he should have accepted that invitation.

unfurl by shipyrds

"Hey, Dick," Tim says. He's in costume, and fiddling with his gloves, but he doesn't remove his mask: nervous, and trying to hide it. "You've had sex with aliens, right?"

"I'm not going to like where this is going, am I?" Dick says, resigned.

"How did you deal with the whole. Junk situation," Tim says, in his best professional Mission Report voice. Its success is kind of undermined with how red his face is below the domino. — Tim asks some questions. Bruce and Clark come to some realizations.

The Conner Kent Conspiracy Board by Hayleythewriter

Tim figures out Kon’s feelings before Kon does.

His Baby by Musafir

Bruce once made Tim a promise that he would never break, just have to reaffirm later in life.

“Hi Tim. I’m Bruce and I am always going to be here for you.”

Banshee In A Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee)

Tim is five years old when he drowns in his parents' pool. He dies quietly, waiting for parents who love him, but will never be there, to realise that something is wrong. They never show up, and he sinks into oblivion.

When he wakes up and claws his way out of the water, the sun has set, and the lights of his house are on. He is cold and wet and his lungs burn.

But most of all, Tim is alone.

(If you die and no-one is there to see it, were you ever alive in the first place?)

The Return by lurkinglurkerwholurks 

What the comics neglected to cover after Bruce returns from being lost in time.

Only a03 users can read this fic.

charity by Valkirin for Ms_Trickster

The biggest downside of being adopted by Bruce Wayne is putting up with rich people events, including one where Jason will be in a room with a bunch of rich kids for a couple very long hours while Bruce goes to the adults' meeting. Jason is ready for a very bad time but the Drake kid listens to him from the start and keeps backing up Jason's ideas even though they've never met.

Jason warms up to Tim Drake long before Mad Hatter tries to take over the meeting and Tim backs him up again.

city of stars by lovelyre

College friends-to-lovers AU with Tim Drake.

This is Tim drake x Reader fic. Trust me its really good.

Tricks of the Trade by Jazz020

Jason and Damian learn about Tim's fool proof method of getting what he wants from Superman

Security Updates by Jazz020

Hal, Clark, and Barry find an unexpected guest playing with the watchtowers security.

Vacation at the Watchtower by Jazz020

A continuation of Security Updates

It may have been a mistake to let Tim stay at the Watchtower while he heals from his injury but the kid really needed to get away from his brothers.

“Wait, what if I go to the Watchtower with you.” “I don't think-” “It’ll be great. I'll even help out if you need me to. I'll be the best unpaid intern the Justice League has ever had.”

Birthdays by Jazz020

Bruce was always aware that Jack and Janet Drake were bad parents, but every once in a while they give him an unfortunate reminder.

Loss by Jazz020

Out of all of Tim’s self-destructive tendencies, it was his willingness to die for his loved ones that frightened Alfred most.

Sick by Jazz020

Tim’s never quite figured out the proper behavior for someone who’s sick. Instead of resting, he often makes his way to the Watchtower.

We Can Work It Out by blackash26, Tigrislupa

Damian endeavors to make up for his treatment of Drake and apologize properly; however, Drake refuses to forgive him no matter what he does. Tim does his best to deny, avoid, and ultimately deal with the fact that the demon brat has a crush on him of all people. (Pulling pigtails never felt like quite such an understatement.) Meanwhile, the rest of the family takes sides.

In all of this, there's only one thing everyone agrees on.

Don’t tell Dick.

Only A03 users can read this fic.

you'll never find a thing like today by remrose

"I'm just saying, I don't think I've ever been to one of these things that hasn't ended in explosions," Bart tells them, eyes on the crowds as he tugs at the ends of his cuffs.

To the Boy Who Called Yesterday by Shirokokuro

Bruce wonders when six-year-old Tim changed, when he shed that sad look he’s wearing now.

Or, perhaps, when he got so good at hiding it.

Cough syrup by Stardustwrites17

It’s the coldest night in the year. So of course Tim falls into the Gotham-fucking-harbor.

Featuring a worried dad, Tim's missing spleen, and of course, Tim battling with himself between being independent and letting himself be loved.

Chili dogs seasoned with tears by Robin_The_Robiner

Ever so slowly, Tim looked down at his plate. On it was a steaming chili dog, topped with fried onions and fresh parsley.

“Oh.” he whispered.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Taking the place of a beloved dead boy was difficult, but Tim managed to do a decent job. He's smart, confident, and put together, so he wasn't effected by their devastating grief at all.

Tim is also a dirty little liar when it comes to his mental health.

A Pile Of Pillows By The Couch by reinersbigtits

Tim has always hated getting sick. He hates the haze and the pain. But, when he finds out his family is sick he jumps in to help without a second thought. However, without a spleen, he's incredibly susceptible to the illness and quickly realizes just how much he's missed out on.

Or: Tim Drakes repressed trauma followed by worried family feels and lots of comfort.

stepping on landmines by Ms_Trickster

There is a scar curved around Drake's neck that Damian does not understand.

So he asks Todd.

the butler's neighbor by deargalileo

It starts with a baseball, thrown onto the wayne's property. it's alfred's job to deal with such happenings, of course. but over tea and galas, it turns into so much more.

after all, why should bruce be the only one allowed to adopt any child that he finds?

Stranger than Fiction by foxy_mulder

"There are details in this document that absolutely no one should know unless they have inside information on us. There’s hints that they know our patrol schedules and regularly keep tabs on us. I don't know who's behind this, or what they want with Batman, but tracking the writer needs to be a priority."

"And this document is… a fanfiction?"

_________

(Tim Drake writes Batman fanfiction. He doesn't expect Batman to actually find it.)

There are many many more fics which i will post later. Have fun reading

[elluminis]

Batfam Fic Recs

The only fandom that I’ve read more fics for than One Piece is DC Comics, mainly centered on the batfam. And I have…a quite frankly obscene amount of bookmarks. So, here’s a list of my recommendations, organized (to the best of my ability) by relationship, with crossovers at the bottom. I have several more, so honestly you might see another list soon! Fics marked with a ❤️ are some of my all-time favorites!

Batfamily-Centered:

More Precious Than Gold by Drag0nst0rm (G)

In which Bruce is a dragon who hoards children, rather than treasure.

Batfam v. America by antebunny (T) ❤️

The batkids play a game of microaggression bingo at a gala :)

College Disaster by Tanaletheia (T)

In which Steph’s stats professor offers up a hilariously off-mark presentation, she invites Jason along for the ride, and the rest of the family enjoys from afar.

Send to All by kerosceene (T)

Because of course the batfam would have a sex pollen release form.

Loading and Aspect Ratio by JUBE514 (M)

The quintessential batfam wing fic!

Batfamily & Justice League:

‘Cause you mean more than anything (YOTP) by LovesFrogs (G)

In which the Justice League hears Batman refer to Robin as his “partner,” and some very incorrect assumptions are made. This series goes off the rails quickly in the best possible way :)

We’re Adopted?!? by schrijverr (G)

In which the batkids (namely Jason) enjoy being little shits.

Code Bat by Listentothelittlebird (G-T) ❤️

In which the bats leave the nest to come into their own, but always have a family to fall back on.

Jason Todd’s terrible, horrible, no-good very bad Week by slenderboo (T)

The title’s a pretty good summary lmao. Jason accidentally gets himself captured by the Justice League while Batman is off planet…

Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent:

there ain’t no star that shines by amosanguis (E)

In which Bruce insists on being Clark’s fake date to his high school reunion. The fake dating AU that we all wanted!

Dick Grayson-Centered:

Bludhaven Police Department by Lady_of_Lorule (G)

Or, how Sgt. Amy Rohrbach learns about Dick’s double life :)

Multilingual by Lady_of_Lorule (G)

In which the members of Young Justice try to figure out exactly how many languages Robin can speak.

touch starved by envysparkler (T)

In which Dick Grayson could really use a hug.

Dick Grayson/Wally West:

As Invisible as the True Stars at Daybreak by LovesFrogs (G)

Wally knows that something is off with Nightwing, but nobody else will listen to him…

Jason Todd-Centered:

Firewall by ashenice (T)

In which Jason is very cagey about protecting his identity as the Red Hood, but his brothers are determined to get through his prickly exterior and at least convince him to show them how to unlock his helmet.

Jason Todd & Tim Drake:

Brother Wanted by Vamillepudding (G)

In which Tim decides the solution to his loneliness is to hire an older brother.

charity by Valkirin (T)

Jason and Tim meet at a charity event as kids—Jason is normally annoyed to death by the other rich kids at these events, but Tim Drake listens to him from the start. I always adore some brotherly bonding, especially between these two :)

of crime lords and literature by adelfie (T)

In which Tim has his priorities straight, and asks a murderous Red Hood to help him with his English homework. The weirdest part is that it works.

Petals for Armor by SilverSkiesAtMidnight (T)

Trauma bonding, the fic!

phantom pain by envysparkler (T)

Sometimes, you need to walk a mile in somebody else’s shoes. And sometimes, you need to drop-kick your brother’s biological father.

Tim Drake-Centered:

cards on the table by wesslan (NR) ❤️

Tim Drake’s parents fled the country years ago, leaving him behind. But Tim is resourceful…using a combination of stalking, hacking, and good old-fashioned parlor tricks, he has a pretty steady gig going as a fortune teller, scamming the rich Gotham elites. It was going great…until he landed himself on the bats’ radar.

Into the Brighter Night by shoalsea (G)

Tim Drake is very good at coming up with plans. He is not very good at sharing them.

Little Overlooked Dreams by Lunette3002 (G)

An adorable de-aged Tim fic :)

wrong number by adelfie (G)

A feverish little Tim accidentally calls the Waynes rather than Mrs. Mac.

A Meditation on Railroading by eggmacguffin (T) ❤️

I debated on which category this fic belonged in, but I think it fits best here. This fic made me sob, for a few reasons. It’s an incredibly well-written portrayal of abuse, but as somebody who’s been gaslit by somebody I should have been able to trust? I saw myself in Tim here. And it hurt, but it was also so cathartic. I joke about fics changing my brain chemistry, but this one unironically had an impact on my mental health and how I viewed myself. So uh…good shit :)

a study by bernard dowd by cv_angels (T)

In which Bernard has figured out that Tim is a superhero, but he’s a little off base on which one…

Ain’t No Compass, Ain’t No Map by ebjameston (T)

Theo the CPS agent is doing his damndest, but for some reason the Red Hood wants to be granted legal custody over Tim Drake?

Banshee in a Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee) (T) ❤️

Tim was five when he died for the first time. Basically, what happens when you give a passively suicidal character the inability to die?

Date Roulette by AlyTyler (T)

An AU in which Jack Drake dies earlier, and Janet Drake discovers the wonders of bisexuality. Much to Tim’s dismay, she keeps dating people that he knows! Basically crack, but absolutely hilarious.

if you get lost (you can always be found) by corvidspectre (T)

What can I say, I love a good trans!Tim fic!!

I’ll Stand By You by TaraLaurel (T)

Tim is living on the streets after his parents kicked him out, when two not-strangers save him from getting his face punched in. A Tim joins the batfam early AU, with all of that good queer angst :)

Obedience by Sohotthateveryonedied (T)

Ella Enchanted, the fic! In which something is very wrong with Tim.

Off-Brand Bat by raven_of_hydecastle (G-T)

Tim commits identity theft, the series!

On the Way Home by ignesfatuis (T)

In which Tim is secretly a wolf-shifter, for better or for worse. I love a good supernatural AU, and I also love some good Tim angst. So…basically a perfect storm for me!

Rebellious teenagers don’t get coffee by Ididloveyou_once (T)

I was debating whether to put this under “Batfamily-centered” or here, but I ultimately decided it’s more of a “Tim and his brothers” fic than a “batboys” fic. Anyway, Tim throws a party while his parents are out, and Dick and Jason jump into big brother mode.

Settle Our Bones by batmoniker, justbeyondstars, & motleyfam (T)

In which Tim is forcibly assimilated into the batfamily early (and Jack and Janet Drake are, unsurprisingly, jackasses).

Shutterbug by goldkirk (G-T)

A classic for lovers of Tim Drake! Baby stalker Tim is forcibly adopted into the batfam early AU, the series :)

The Body Keeps the Score by StoriesAreMagic (T)

In which Tim is a metahuman with accelerated healing, and has parents who are very willing to take advantage of that. I love myself some Tim whump complete with Jack and Janet bashing :)

the capillaries in my eyes are bursting by Scarlet_Ribbons (T) ❤️

Maybe I just like to see Tim suffer? Because this is yet another fic where Tim is very much suffering.

Like a Hinge, Like a Wing by Ultrageekatlarge (M) ❤️

“The problem is that Tim’s spent the past month or so slowly getting murdered.”

This fic is so, so good. It’s absolutely horrifying—there are intimate descriptions of abuse and starvation, but good god is it well-written and incredibly compelling. I don’t think I’ve been on the edge of my seat quite like this with any other fic.

Tim Drake & Damian Wayne:

Trust fall by Ididloveyou_once (M) ❤️

Tim has an unexpected run in with his youngest brother at the Kent’s ranch. This fic is the one that made me love Damian—queer solidarity, the fic!

White Collar Crossovers:

Okay. Before I get into the fics. Please give these a chance! You don’t need to know much about White Collar—I sure as hell didn’t when I first started reading these crossovers, and now my third-most bookmarked fandom is White Collar. Solely because of the crossovers. All you really need to know is that Neal Caffrey, a nonviolent conman and prolific forger, was arrested for bond forgery and sentenced to four years in prison. He broke out towards the end of his sentence (because his girlfriend broke up with him) but upon being recaptured, he agreed to work as an FBI informant in exchange for work release. His handler is Peter Burke (married to the lovely Elizabeth “El” Burke), and the two frequently work alongside agents Diana Berrigan and Clinton Jones. There’s some good shit in here, I promise—there’s a reason why every other fic has a heart next to it :)

A Familiar Sound by dandelioness666 (G) ❤️

In which Dick!Neal runs into a kind Romani grandmother at an art gallery. This fic just…makes me feel warm, it’s absolutely gorgeous.

The Real Neal Caffrey by Squirrel806 (G) ❤️

This fic kills me every time, it’s so goddamn funny. In which “Neal Caffrey” is an identity donned by several members of the batfamily…at the same time.

blind (as a) bat by WhatTheHeckIsGoingOn (G-T)

In which Tim has prosopagnosia (face blindness) and has to temporarily take over Jason’s undercover gig as Neal Caffrey, all while hiding his face blindness from both the feds and his family.

Boy Serum by Amateum (T) ❤️

In which Dick!Neal gets hit with a spell that prevents him from telling lies—which is a bit inconvenient, especially when one is trying to successfully complete an undercover mission. Feat. identity porn, brotherly bonding, and some incredible action sequences!

Neal¹² by TheWitchBoy (T)

In which Neal is a role played by all members of the batfamily, to their eternal amusement and Peter’s eternal torment.

Nothing Can Shake This Family Tree by RandomReader13 (T) ❤️

This is actually two fics—both fantastic, but for two very different reasons. Dick!Neal is undercover (and trying to keep it that way) in NYC, Jason is catatonic following the attack from the Joker, and Tim is…trouble. I love this portrayal of Jason, and the author does an incredible job of getting across Dick’s fraying mental state. He’s under a lot of pressure, and by god can you feel it. 100% worth the read :)

State on behalf of Underaged Minors v. Wayne by Miss_Kitty (T)

This is an absolutely fascinating fic! I honestly don’t think I can say it any better than this excerpt:

“If they come looking for Batman, they can’t be allowed to find him,” Bruce tells this to every new child he takes under his cape. “If they get too close, all they will find is a man who hurts his children.”

The Unbreakable Caffreys ‘Verse by Miss_Kitty (T) ❤️

In which each member of the Wayne clan has another identity—a Caffrey, who exists separate and apart from the glitter and fame of Gotham, and settles instead around a mechanic’s shop in NYC. This is an absolutely brilliant idea, and the world building is incredible. A favorite of mine for a reason :)

What Makes a Gothamite by Dragonfly_Dream (T) ❤️

Almost every chapter is like one in a series of interconnected one-shots, exploring some creepy-ass Gotham-exclusive trait that Dick!Neal has brought over to NYC with him. A very fun read, especially if you love fucked up and sentient Gotham :)

While You Were Missing by caffeinatedbasil (T) ❤️

I know I talk about fics that altered my brain chemistry all the time, but this one had me legitimately sobbing every other chapter. Jason is undercover as Neal Caffrey, but a complication in the form of one Lian Harper comes running into his office one day. All of a sudden, Jason is a single parent, grieving a friend and a relationship that never was, all while doing his damndest to maintain his cover. Feat. a complex exploration of grief, batsiblings having each other’s backs, and all of the best angst of identity porn!

young, just us, and our muscle memory of double dutch by umanta (NR-T) ❤️

Oh look, another series of fics that altered my brain chemistry! In which Tim and Damian created the Neal Caffrey alias together, but Tim can’t stop running into members of Youn Justice. This has the fic that made me fall in love with Cissie King-Jones :)

anchor me (let me soar) by blueyeti (E)

This one is…literally just Birdflash smut that happens to be set in a WC crossover. But, some absolutely incredible smut! Basically, exhibitionism and bondage a la Birdflash :)

[haveyoureadthisfanfic]

Summary: I, __________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”). — The bats have a sex pollen release form. Because of course they do.

Author: @cairoscene

[smilebackwards]

more tim drake fic recs

the paradox of boomerangs by cassiopeia721 Tim stops being such an overachieving perfectionist and it improves his life and relationships. This seems like such an obvious sentence but I swear I was shook.

A Brief Interview by Miss_Lazy_Tuesday @misstuesday9 AU where Tim and Damian are age swapped. Damian decides to select a younger brother for himself. This camera-toting child following him on patrol will do nicely. Hilarious Damian voice. Extremely cute. But also, this author Has The Range so if you'd like a more unhinged Tim and Lazarus affected Jason fic instead, try Finding the Line (mind the tags)

Send to All by kerosceene @cairoscene Perfect, hilarious email/documentation exchange of the Bats determining who is allowed to, ahem, 'assist' them in the event of a sex pollen issue.

and the shapes that you drew may change beneath a different light by popsunner Do you want to cry from melancholy instead of laughter? This is the one. Tim and Damian weather life after Dick dies. WIPs

buy back the secrets by sundiscus @vinelark New chapter on my fave timkon identity shenanigans fic!! NEW CHAPTER!1! This is not a drill!

unaware i'm tearing you asunder by hendecagrisms Tim, please. In which Tim's idea of a therapeutic intervention for Jason's Lazarus Pit madness is to allow Jason to kill him. Jason is less cool with this than he thought he would be.

Duplicity by Imasupermuteant The concept of this!! Tim and Dick are both Robin at the same time but no one realizes there are two Robins. Tim-Robin goes undercover as Dick-Robin with Young Justice and the characterization is everything to me. Look, this has not been updated since 2012 but I still think about it all the time. Join me.

[midnightpink]

Lover be good to me

read it here on ao3

“Say it, and I’ll let you go. Say no one fucks you like I do.”

“He did,” Bruce says, not even gasping as Minhkhoa presses down. “He fucked me like you do. Like he knew exactly what I needed before I did.”

“You’re lying.”

“He fucked me,” Bruce says, “like I was his.”

by: kerosceene

Words: 16,318, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English 

Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Minhkhoa Khan, Zatanna Zatara, Icon | Minhkhoa Khan's A.I. Assistant

Relationship: Minhkhoa Khan/Bruce Wayne

Additional Tags: Batman: The Knight - Freeform, Time Travel, Explicit Sexual Content, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, First Time, post Batman #105, gaslight gatekeep ghostbat, Established Relationship, and yet also, Pre-Relationship, Flashbacks

[lealdern]

Fuck around/Find out

Explicit content: Minors please DNI.

Dick x Reader smut AO3 Link

Inspired by Send to All by Kerosceene

Dick asks you to be his fuck or die and you agree. There are consequences to having sex with someone you have feelings for. You're both about to find out.

second person/fuck or die/consent given/sex pollen/ she/her reader / reader has a vagina

“If I was going to die if I didn’t have sex, would you have sex with me?”

There’s no fanfare when Dick asks you this, and it’s so uncharacteristically serious that you can’t help but snort, watching him for that telltale grin of his, and when it doesn’t appear you wonder if you missed something.

“What?” you laugh, confused but still amused.

“If I needed to have sex with you to not die, would you have sex with me?” he clarifies, with a tilt of a smile that does worrying things to your heartbeat, not a skip in the rhythm but more of a stumble. You ignore it in favour of stirring the ice in your drink, listening to the soothing click clack of ice cubes against glass.

“Well yea, but… Blue balls isn’t real Dick, you can’t listen to what Jason tells you.” You lean your head back against the back of the settee and turn to Dick with a smirk on your face.

“One hundred percent you would?” He asks, like he’s needing to catalogue this somewhere in his mind and you frown.

“Well yea, you die or we have sex? We have sex,” you say simply like it’s a formula. “You’d do the same for me, right?” It only feels fair to ask the question back and he nods with an earnest expression.

“Of course.”  His nod is firm and it feels like something like a contract has been signed verbally, though you’re still a little unsure what actually just happened.

And that’s the last you think on it: Not the sex with Dick bit, you think on that a lot and its increasing frequency is getting worrying since he’s a friend, a very good close friend, and you don’t want to ruin that with something so messy as friends with benefits or, even messier, Love.

Yes, capital L, Love

It’s a late August afternoon when there’s a fist pounding at your door and you startle enough that you fumble your phone, juggling it for a moment in the air one handed before it falls to the floor. The hammer-fisted person at your door bangs again and you stride to the door ready to rip them a new one when you open the door and stop stock still.

Red Robin is at your door, but the most surprising part of this is that he’s supporting Dick, who is wincing and sweating like he’s in agony, clothes dishevelled like he’s been roughed up. They step into your apartment together, or more Dick stumbles while Red Robin guides him in.

“Dick, oh my god, are you ok,” you follow them to the settee Red Robin places him on, and your hand smooths over Dick’s bicep. There’s a low moan and a shudder that passes his lips and you pull back worrying you’ve hurt him. “Is he ok?” You look to Red Robin, his white eyes giving you nothing to work from, though the thin set of his mouth makes you worry.

“He’s been exposed to Poison Ivy’s latest pheromone, and if he doesn’t have penetrative sexual intercourse ending in fulfilling ejaculation he will die. He said you would help him through this.”

He almost sounds like he’s reciting something from a book, verbatim, impersonal as he speaks, except for the last bit, he sounds like he’s asking and apologising at the same time. For a moment your brain flatlines, only coming back to life when Dick shudders and groans.

“Gotham is so fucking weird- Alright, thanks for bringing him here, uh…you can go now?” If he finds your dismissal rude, he doesn’t say anything, and judging by the speed he leaves he seems glad to be gone. You crouch down in front of Dick, who looks like he’s in agony, knuckles white where he grips the fabric of his jeans. Reaching out you feel heat radiating from his skin and hesitate for a moment before cupping his cheek.

He leans into it with a sigh that wheedles off into a whine, and his eyes are lidded and heated in a way you’ve never seen before.

“You’re gonna be okay Dick, I’ll look after you.” The words sound like a filthy promise to his mind and he shudders in delight at the thought of all that that entails. It gives him renewed energy and he surges forward, hand sliding around the back of your neck bringing you close enough that he can kiss you messily, hungrily, while moaning into your mouth.

It’s startling but fuck it goes straight to your cunt, like lightning, and you gasp.

He deepens the kiss, tongue sliding deliciously over your lip and your eyes flutter shut as you groan, pushing further into him until his free arm manoeuvres you onto the couch with him, straddling him.

“Please,” he whines against your mouth, his hips jutting up searching for relief between your legs. His hands settle on your hips pushing you down against the solid erection you can feel through both of your clothes. His head falls backward, throat exposed and Adams apple bobbing up and then down as he swallows thickly, gasping at the sensation. It’s as though some sanity or sense comes back to him, his eyes finding yours, “Is this- Is this okay?” He asks, and you see the worry in his eyes and know that if you said ‘no’ he’d not let this go further.

But you don’t say no.

Instead you lean forward, hand sliding under his collar to touch the heated skin of his neck and feel the rumble of his moan along his throat, “Of course it is,” you murmur against his lips, capturing his full bottom lip between yours in a kiss that makes Dick thrust against you as breath catches in his throat.

It’s like your words are the starting gun, and you realise how much Dick has been holding back. His strong arms wrap around you, hands splayed open on your back and pulling you close like he can’t stand the air between your bodies. One hand cradles your head as his hips cant, and you’re moving and turning in one smooth motion and he’s above you now on the couch, his hips between your legs pressed against you.

It's like he doesn’t know what to do with himself: With you. One hand roams your side, clumsily sliding underneath your top so his hot hand can press against your hip and squeeze as he grinds slowly against you. His other hand finds your nipple through your t-shirt, when he realises you’re without a bra the softness of your breast and the hardness of your nipple through thin cotton has him growling against your neck where he bites and licks and sucks in frenzy.

But the noises you’re making in his ear, they are what’s driving him mad. The gasps stopped short by moans and hitching of breath as he does something that makes you writhe underneath him are making his cock weep precum messily, he can feel it. He feels greedy and drinks all of you in, the feel and sound of you underneath him is going to be seared into his memory forever, he thinks through the haze of the need to fuck you until you can only sob his name while you come undone on his cock.

“I knew you’d sound pretty,” he groans against your neck, “You’re so fucking pretty.”

He pulls back and you’re treated to the sight of Dick, sweating and panting as he takes off his black t-shirt. The vision of him, body rippling with heavy breaths, between your legs, stupefies you. You take too long to move for Dick and he’s pulling your top over your head, arms wrapping around you again to bring you against his heated skin. The feel of your bare skin against his has him panting hot breaths across your chest as he leans down to take a hard nipple in his mouth, flicking along it expertly with his tongue before capturing it between his teeth gently.

Your nails scrape along his scalp as your fingers thread through his hair and it makes him whine, “Oh god,” you breathe out, almost overwhelmed by the way he feels on you, it’s all encompassing and you’ve never been so present in your body before. All you can think of is the brush of his calloused hand against your side, the sharp bite of teeth, and the hot tongue that dances over your skin.

And his eyes.

He looks up at you, mouth still on your skin, his eyes are almost black with the way his pupils are blown, but they’re heated as they watch you: And they have been watching you, watching the way you gasp, mouth in a pretty little o shape as you writhe under him. He watches your face as his hand slips under the waistband of your shorts, into your underwear and through the wetness he finds there, fingers pressing into your wet pussy with ease. He could come just by the feel and the sight of you alone as he watches your face when his fingers slip past your lips, almost shocked at how good it feels.

Dick can’t help himself, he moves up your body, fingers still dancing up and down your folds, learning what makes you keen so deliciously. He wants those noises in his ear, like a secret just for him. He presses open mouthed kisses along your jawline as he pushes a finger into you, holding you close when your whole body bucks and the moan you breathe against his ear has him replying with his own.

It’s almost as good as the noise you make when, after a few stoking strokes of his one finger, he slides a second one in, coaxing expertly along your walls to find your g spot and press against it just right. The heel of his hand presses against your clit as he flexes his wrist and crooks his fingers inside of you, stealing your breath away as your arousal coats his fingers generously.

“Dick, let me- please-“ your hand slides down his front, nails grazing his skin in a light drag as your hands land clumsy on his waistband. Reaching underneath you find the hot head of his cock, already smeared with precum, “oh fuck,” you breathe and Dick swallows down the moan. When your fingers swirl through the sticky precum his hips push up, and your hand curls to sheathe him, to squeeze him. His eyes nearly roll back at the sensation, and his head falls to the crook of your neck when you roll your wrist and slide along the thick tip of him.

His skin is hot, almost feverish, and you run a hand through his hair, soothing his groans as you shift to remove your shorts. His hand grips your waist as he sits up to remove his bottoms, like he’s loathe to break contact with you.

When you’re both bare and naked in the midday sun on your couch it’s like time is caught, suspended, like a dust mote in a sunbeam. You both breathe heavy, taking the other in. Dick’s cock is hard and upright, precum glistening where it still beads freshly at the head, the perfect length for you and a thickness that has you biting your lip. Looking down at you from where he kneels between your legs he licks his lips, thirsty for the taste of your skin on his lips again.

It’s not frantic, or desperate when you reach out to him and he lays down above you pressing a kiss between your breasts as you wrap your leg around his waist. The sigh he breathes shudders as he enters you, resting his forehead against the place he’d set a kiss, almost reverent while your fingers tug at his hair and his breath heats the skin of your sternum.

When his arms tremble you know he’s restraining himself.

“Dick,” his name is soft and wanting on your lips and he stills, looking up to see your heated gaze, feels your hips move underneath him, urging him onward, “It’s okay.”

You don’t know what he’s going through, you don’t know how tomorrow will be, but you know you need him to know that now is okay, and you’re here for him.

It’s permission to let go completely.

He sits back then, on his knees still inside of you but not fully, not really. The first thrust goes so deep it’s almost painful, a sharp sudden stab deep within you. But that drag back out makes it all worth it. His hips roll, the sound of wetness against his groin rends the air and it makes everything feel like more. Dick’s eyes raise and he looks intoxicated, you think, eyes unfocused as he thrusts into you at a punishing pace but he looks good and he feels good and his hand is on your cheek, thumb caressing your wet lips before sliding into your mouth where you swirl your tongue and caress it as he digs his fingers into your hip. His thrusts shake you, the sensation of your tits bouncing while you suck on his thumb and god he’s looking at you so fucked out.

When he pulls his thumb out of your mouth there’s a string of spit that glistens for a moment, before breaking and the lewdness compared to your eyes looking up at him lidded and heated for him, because of him, sends him over.

The thrusts go longer, deeper, as he pushes into you as far as he can while he chokes out moans of your name, almost sobbing in relief and ecstasy.

You anchor him, as he comes down from the pheromones. His body collapses next to yours, exhausted and spent: You shift so he can have more space but he just reaches out to hold you close as he pants into your hair.

The hand on his side is soothing, and your body is soft against him, and he decides he just wants to be in this moment for a good long while, happy and content, if a little exhausted. He doesn’t want to think about what tomorrow might bring, hell he doesn’t want to think about what the next hour will bring.

Just now is good.

Next Chapter

[vinelark]

hey hey! i love bbts so much, it makes me so happy whenever i reread it✌️one of the (many) things i love about it is the core four friendship! so i was wondering, do you have any recs for fics with fun yj dynamics?! no pressure ofc, either way i hope you have a lovely day ☺️✨

hello! so sorry this took forever! also so glad bbts makes you happy on the reread 🥰

first, some of my absolute fav core four content: coralreefskim's comics and cryptocism's comics. great art, great dialogue, great codependent friendship nightmare polycule genuinely endearing "would kill for you would live for you would save the world with you but more importantly would never let you live down that typo you made in the groupchat that one time" vibes all around.

and a few fics:

Into the Brighter Night by shoalsea

when a past enemy comes back for tim, the batfam learn a lot about tim and his young justice adventures in the fallout. this one's long and plotty and has that super compelling trope of the POV character watching an interaction where the reader is in on the jokes but the POV character isn't--basically a great sort-of-outsider POV on the core four, plus, from what i could tell, almost every other yj character at some point.

a study by bernard dowd by cv_angels

a short, hilarious fic with timber and implied future timberkon, in which tim (sort of) reveals his identity and that leads to kon and bart and cassie meeting bernard.

Lipstick on the glass by kerosceene

i'm a broken record with this one, but it's just. 🤌🤌 it starts out focused on timkon but part 2 has college-age core four halloween shenanigans. cassie has a civilian gf. bart dresses up as a meme that doesn't exist yet. kon is in the dragriculture club. tim loves his friends (and boyfriend) so much. it's just so heartwarming and good.

The Mystery of the Superboy Shirts by Aviatricks

silly oneshot with tim going full obsessive detective mode about everything but his own feelings, good yj squad dynamics, bart being a passable liar, and some timkon.

Detours by miyaji_08

i've also rec'd this one before (twice, even) but once again it fits the bill, because the core four scenes in this are so good. it's a reverse robins au where tim becomes roommates with kon and bart and cassie, who are superboy, impulse, and wonder girl but have no idea (yet) that tim has his own secret identity, too. so there's identity shenanigans with all four of them, classic reverse robins tim angst, some enemies-to-lovers and oh-my-god-they-were-roommates timkon, and a really fun final action sequence. it's part 2 of a series and i highly recommend reading part 1 first, but if you want to dive right into the core four aspects you can probably piece together the context as you go.

[hayleyhearts]

Hey !! How are you ? I hope you're well :)

So I'm kinda new to DC and I really wanna get into Batfamily but I don't know how ? Like, I literally don't understand how Bruce has so many kids but also idc about logistics I just want to consume angsty found family and get obsessed over at least one character and get gender envy yk ?

Okay so basically, do you have any batfam fic recommendations for any1 just getting into batfam ?Or just your fav batfam fics ? I'd really appreciate any recs but if not no sweat !!!

thanks a million for reading and take care !! <3

<3 this is easily my favorite ask I've ever received!

I was the same way with the batfamily for so long, like every time Wayne Family Adventures would trend on Tumblr I'd be like why are there so many black haired boys??? Is one named Dick?

I'd definitely recommend reading Wayne Family Adventures on Webtoon but as for fic recs here are my top 7 batfam fics of all time, plus one wip that's less batfam, more timkon, but simply must be ranked.

Yesterday's Voices by Lemonadegarden... this was the fic that got me really into the fun but heartbreaking family dynamics. Also Tim plays a minor role, but this was the first time I was like, I need to know more about this guy. A quick summary: Batman gets amnesia and doesn't remember the last five years, or the recent death in the family, and the angst hits so hard.

exactly how this grace thing works by irnan... this is by far the best de-aged fic I've ever read. Dick, the oldest sibling, suddenly becomes the youngest and it's such a brilliant character analysis. And I'm always a fan of Dick Grayson getting the love and appreciation he deserves.

The Study of Birds by Maskoftheray… this one focuses on the sibling dynamics, mainly between Tim, Damian, and Dick. It’s hurt/comfort with birdwatching and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I read it.

Brother Wanted by Vamillepudding... This is an au where a ten year old Tim places an ad in the newspaper for a brother and it's as cute and perfect as it sounds. The Jason and Tim bonding in this is 10/10 and makes all their canon angst that much more devastating

Send to All by Kerosceene... literally funniest fic of all time. I normally hate textfics but this whole story is told through email and it's PERFECT and HILARIOUS 10/10 required reading for batfam vibes at their best

World's Saddest Breakfast Club by motleyfam... this fic includes the whole fam and it's so sweet about it. Jason breaks into the manor and ends up cooking everyone breakfast.

scapegoat by envysparkler... the sibling blame game in this is so real. Basically the family starts blaming Jason for every little thing because Bruce would never get mad at the child he just reconciled with.

And the BONUS timkon fic that's currently being updated

8. buy back the secrets by sundiscus... the only fic I'm subscribed to! It's a TimKon fic but the Tim and Jason conversations in chapter two are so perfectly done. I can't recommend it enough!!

[sasheneskywalker]

batfamily fic recs which are told through unusual formatting

a hat fashioned from tin foil by discowing (ameliafromafairytale) nightwang @karakurachou – 8 hours ago jason todd is alive and faked his death so he could become robin: a conspiracy theory thread

Batfam conspiracy theories meet social media.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | No Relationships

occam's razor by BeatriceEagle r/SolveIt • Posted by u/Phalangefier 3 days ago

It's the fifth anniversary of Jason Todd's death

Today is the fifth anniversary of the day that Jason Todd and Sheila Haywood were murdered, so I thought I would post a write-up unifying all of the information that we have on the case. There have been a lot of posts about Jason over the years, but this case is so weird and has so many branches to it, I don’t think that anyone’s ever compiled all of them in one place.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | Dick Grayson & Jason Todd

Send to All by kerosceene I, _______________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”).

-

The bats have a sex pollen release form. Because of course they do.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake, Barbara Gordon & Dick Grayson, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne

Batman Hits the Red Hood with His Batarang by redboard (Ink) Batman hears whispers of a new crime lord in Gotham, trailing blood and carnage in his wake. The Red Hood is skilled and ruthless, and quickly seizes control of the drug trade, seemingly for his own ends.

Red Hood, after years of planning, your moment has finally arrived. Why have you come?

An "Under the Red Hood"-themed tabletop game, for one or two players. You will need colored dice (or a dice roller), your imagination, and, optionally, a friend who has as many feelings about Jason Todd as you do.

(Yes, I'm serious. This is not a bit.)

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne

#Justice4Gotham by Havendance So, uh, Hi. I’m still alive. I didn’t die of the clench (barely). I’m kind of sorry for disappearing on you for so long but life just got really busy and I didn’t really have time to chase after Batman and Robin anymore. I’m not sure how many of you guys still check this blog, but if you are out there, I’ve got a big favor to ask you all.

On June 27th at 7:03pm, Gotham City was hit by the worst earthquake the east coast has seen in, like, ever. And now we could really use your help.

[Or: When you run out of things you can do, there’s always yelling at the world from the blog you made when you were ten.]

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | No Relationships

IRIS Log #1548 by deadchannelradio A Disclaimer From Your Friendly Neighborhood Oracle:

The following is a transcript of Patrol Communications Audio written by state of the art transcription technology, IRIS (Interpretation of Recorded Intelligence Software). IRIS was created to provide easily searchable records, automatically, and eliminate the need to transcribe each patrol audio log manually. That being said, IRIS is still experimental, and may not always be entirely accurate.

(01:25) Red Hood: (Mild static) (Out of breath, slurred) You motherfuckers. Put some fuckin-

Batman: (Shaking) Red Hood-

Red Hood: Shut up. Put some fucking respect. On my name. Start fucking copying me. I just got thrown fucking. Um. 40 feet. Into a fucking uh. What's it. Ditch. I'm still fucking conscious.

Batman: Red Hood, do not move, we're en route-

Red Hood: What'll I win if I stand up.

Batman: (Loud) Do not stand up.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | No Relationships

Night Blogger by AnonDude There's a blogger catching the internet's attention with a long, insane, and twisted tale. The problem is, he seems to persist under the impression that he's just a random anonymous blogger looking for advice on his relationship. That's all.

QuillsNFrills: I like your first entry! But I'm a little unsure as to what genre you're aiming for here; it seems a little confused and all over the place. It's clear you want it to be something more lurking under the guise of a simple relationship blog, but is that…mystery? Thriller? A dark romance? Sci-fi/fantasy/magic (with the…whatever is going on with BF's head)? I'm also kind of wondering if I'm reading right that maybe there are hints this isn't a reliable narrator? Maybe that will continue…eyes. Anyway, keep up the good work! – April 15, 2023 –

BlueberryPancakes: this […] only continued to get MORE wild, and despite the "clearing up"…I still don't know whether to believe […] it's supposed to be an obvious red herring and this is all an Experience^tm, or whether this is really OP's life. – April 17, 2023 –

M | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Tim Drake/Jason Todd

A preliminary examination of potential significant others (last saved by T. Drake) by Betty, Elf_Herself, Petra thefourthvine wrote, "I want the story where someone sits down and thinks that, and lists every single person in the canon (probably in some kind of database, with numerical codes and assigned weights for each category and stuff) and weighs all the pros and cons and finally, after a lot of careful deliberation, selects a candidate for the position of Significant Other."

This is the first step in that process.

G | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | No Relationships

[somefanficrecomendations]

Batman One-Shot Sampler

Need a laugh? Don’t want to commit to a long fic? You’ve come to the right place! These fics are guaranteed to be:

Under 5k

Silly

Funny

Goofy

sweet child o' mine by Nokomis Steph said cheerfully, “Bruce, from now on, consider yourself in possession of one Steph-mom.” “Absolutely not,” Bruce said. Steph took a bite of her cake, undeterred.

The Sexy Mug Prank by Nokomis “Are you suggesting that I prank Hal Jordan,” Bruce said flatly. Stephanie nodded. “And the best part is that absolutely no one will think that you have either the sense of humor or the creativity to do something like this.”

Send to All by kerosceene I, ___________________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”). - The bats have a sex pollen release form. Because of course they do.

Nominal by Unpretty Don't ask why Batman is sad unless you're willing to give him the time to consult his spreadsheet.

Hanging Around by Sohotthateveryonedied “Robin?” “Yeah, boss?” “What on Earth are you doing?” Steph shrugs—an impressive feat, considering her predicament. “Oh, you know. Just hanging around.”

[confessedlyfannish]

Just a reminder that this fic exists, I cannot recommend it enough. I aspire to write something that is this hilarious and has this much fun:

[batfam-fanfics]

Lipstick on the glass by kerosceene

1 Chapter - 7559 words

Here's the thing about having your brain full of information downloaded by an evil science organization that created you to serve a nefarious purpose, is that you get confused about whether it's okay to wear lipstick.

-

two timkon snapshots, before and after finding yourself

[deadchannelradio]

4, 5, 6, 15! as i type this ive already forgotten what questions those are i hope theyre the ones i actually meant to send you but oh well wahoo!

4. How many WIPs do you have right now?

rimi dont ask me that. um. let me count. maybe 20. i may have lost count. somewhere around 20.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

answered here!

6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time

i am actually quite bad at reading fic both when it comes to seeking out new fic and rereading fic! i mostly reread authors, so that would be, um. unpretty, kerosceene, merils, silentwalrus, but other fics ive poked my head back into are buy back the secrets by sundiscus, the groundwork series by nonymos, and the love is all you need to destroy your enemies series by shadydave is foundational to who i am as a person.

15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters?

last minute, in a panic, by asking friends.

[staravya]

did u ever find the batman sex pollen paperwork fic? lol

you know what i hadnt but you inspired me to try again and then i did lmao

here you go have fun it's very funny

turns out the word they use is form and not paperwork and thats why i missed it my first go around

[hellowhyareyouhere]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake, Barbara Gordon & Dick Grayson, Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne Characters: Barbara Gordon, Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd Additional Tags: Multimedia, Epistolary, email fic, Batfamily (DCU), Humor, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Barbara Gordon is at her limit, Legal Documents, Poison Ivy adjacent, Passive Aggressive Emails, the horror of realizing your dad Fucks Summary:

I, ___________________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”).

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The bats have a sex pollen release form. Because of course they do.