#life changing habits

[psychicuniiverse]

The Conditions of Change

When adults seek change, they often focus on the intended result while hurrying through the practice. However, growth requires a bit more than 'just trying something out'. Here are some tips to help bring change upon your life, good luck!

Consistency

Real change, especially as an adult, requires many, many repetitions of a behavior or movement or position. 'Trying hard' is usually counterproductive as it tenses the muscles and the emotions. It is necessary to let the exercise or method work without undue ego participation over time. The practice has to become, for a time, 'just what one does.'

Willingness

The practices that change long standing blocks will usually seem, when presented to an adult learner, to be too subtle, too corny, not relevant, and mostly downright wrong. One must be willing to really try something different if one is at the point where one's own ideas have failed. Of course, discernment cannot be completely disposed of, but if a learner wants what another person has, they must be willing to do what that person did, however unnecessary or stupid it seems.

Sustainability

So often adult learners hurl themselves into an activity, and neglect other aspects of their lives. Soon they end up dropping the practice and rarely get back to it. A good practice must be one that can be 'what one does' for a good while. Immersion approaches exist, for example a 30 day retreat, but then carryover to one's regular life becomes the issue.

First Things First (Urgent Things Second)

In our over-busy, over-booked lives, if we wait for a 'free moment' to practice something, it invariably never arrives. To have consistency with a new practice it is necessary to make it a priority and see that it gets done first, leaving less important things, even if more urgent, to 'scroll off the screen'

The Plateau is Where the Work Starts

All people have latent abilities that come online easily and quickly when they start a practice (often called newbie or 'noob' gains). But once the latent abilities are developed and the participant is working to develop brand new capacities, the going is much much slower. This is where the large majority quit, discouraged, but this is where the work really is beginning.

Anticipate Anxiety

Real change even in small amounts will cause anxiety, which can be insidious and hard to attribute to the new practice. In an uncanny way, impulses to start something incompatible with the new practice, or new worries, confusion, or minor injuries will threaten to derail the change process. Barring gross demonstrable harm, the need is to 'stay the course!'

Don't Look to Validation or Approval

If another person is the reason to do something, in a moment they can become the reason not to. When a practice is undertaken to please someone (and yes this can be unconscious or semi-conscious) there are two big barriers: 1) effort gets substituted for the fruits of the practice, and the practice gets or stays sloppy because even sloppy practice shows effort, and 2) the instinct for autonomy (buried itself in some measure in the unconscious) will cause resistance

Frequent self-measurement is unhelpful

When one has undergone real change others will point it out, don't worry. Trying to get one's inner judge to validate oneself takes attention off the practice, apart from any concern that self-measurement will not be accurate.

The Placebo Effect is Not the Effect

Whenever one takes on a new promising practice there is going to be an immediate sense of elation. There is nothing wrong with enjoying this, but know that 1) it wears out in two to six weeks, 2) the real beneficial effect of the practice will be much more subtle at first then this elation, and take months or years to manifest. Many believe that when the elation stops, it means the practice has stopped working.

Understand the Difference Between Almost Nothing Happening and Actually Nothing Happening

When a ten-year-old wakes up in the morning no one notices a change in size from the night before, but actually there is, and over the course of years, that becomes very apparent. Real growth is like that, in that, almost nothing is happening. But with any practice, participants may worry that they are following a dead end. While some discernment and critical thinking may be needed in selecting a practice, once started attention should be focused on the actually practice, with some faith that results will come.

Work With Others

When working alone, long-standing defensive patterns can undermine the intended practice or even turn it into its opposite. Not that any growth practice is like an Olympic sport calling for perfect performance--one is simply seeking to stay in the 'stretch zone' or 'edge'. Other people, either peers or coaches can help with that by supplying explicit or implicit feedback. Not because they are know everything, but because they have gone or are going down the same path, and are more objective about you ('a different set of eyes').

Find Where You Are and Work From There

Don't try to work from where you want to be, that will be slower not quicker. This is about acceptance, a prerequisite for change

The Tightrope is an Illusion

When in new experiential territory, it can seem that the practice being encouraged will either quickly fall into a pitfall at one end, or into the opposite pitfall. There is no happy middle envisionable. This is just a lack of experience. For an experienced aerialist, the rope has come to appear like a sidewalk.

Don't Get Stuck in Inspiration

Inspiration, such as from most self-improvement materials and forums provides temporary elation by itself and therefore can become a habit. But nothing changes from inspiration. Slightly more important is turning inspiration into intention, definitely more important is turning intention into action, and absolutely more important is turning action into consistency.

There is No Such Thing as 'Ready'

Change is made by starting to work where you are with the tools at hand. In time, other tools will come to hand. The feeling of 'ready' does happen in life, but it has to do with situations already mastered. Also where aggression, anger, or desire is mobilized, the feeling of ready is not relevant.

Change is More About Unlearning than Learning

Here is what often happens: a man or woman wants to change a pattern so they focus directly on it and have initial success doing something different. Then they focus on other things, thinking the change is in the bag. The unwanted pattern comes back! The learner despairs that they cannot learn. Actually, the unwanted pattern was never gone (yet) it was just suppressed. It takes a longish trail of resuppression and practicing new habits until new practices become dominant.

Don't Make Effort the Focus

Many adolescent and adult learners have grown up in invalidating, emotionally treacherous environments where they could never be sure that their choices and criticisms wouldn't be attacked. This can lead to a over-emphasis of effort as a universally defensible good--remember the saying "You can't blame a guy for trying." But effort, increases arousal and tightens muscles, and strongly undermines some areas of change like breathing, relaxation, meditation, flexibility, and social skills. Of course with 'zero effort' nothing will change but effort should not be the focus.

Make Distractions and Irritants Part of the Practice

Everyone has had an experience of finding a quiet place, preparing to meditate or stretch, and BAM!, a loud sound like a leaf lower erupts. Or for nice guys they might have guilt at doing something 'selfish'. There is a temptation to wait to a better time, which often becomes never. Our ego fears we will do something badly! But the truth is, anything that cultivates growth will be done, at best, badly (really just imperfectly). Doing something even less perfectly is just as good, or greater an opportunity for self awareness as doing something just imperfectly. Awareness, attention, and mindfulness is increased.

The Rubber Band Effect

When we push against a homeostatic system, even one with a unhappy 'set-point', the system pushes back. To succeed, of course consistency and perseverance is necessary, but on occasion, several interventions need to be brought to bear simultaneously to reach a threshhold where the homeostatic set point is 'flipped', or reset.

[health-and-fitness-care]

What are good healthy habits?Simple habits

[universal-jay]

Being polite and responsive can go a long way in building positive relationships with others and creating a welcoming, friendly environment. It can take some practice to develop these habits, but with patience and persistence, you'll be able to do it. Good luck!

[bangdid2023]

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[shorthaltsjester]

the mighty nein - critical role

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[amitb0130]

Change Your Life In One Year | Success Mindset

Invest In Yourself | Life-Changing Habits

Make Money On YouTube

[infobuzzadda]

5 Life Changing Habits that can change your Life

5 Life Changing Habits that can change your Life

Life Changing Habits. Always we all just wants to live the happiest, healthiest, and most fulfilled lives if possible. Yet, why do so many of us struggle to achieve success in even one of these areas? Why are so many of us spending our days stressed out, worn down and utterly out of shape? Ultimately, our daily habits and routines are what define our reality. Let’s take a look at five habits for…

[lucabyte]

Not all who wander are lost. Some who wander, however, are extremely, extremely lost.

[a-path-by-the-moon]

[shortnotsweet]

In a Week by Hozier ft. Karen Cowley

“The raven is death, obviously. When I die, I want a good tombstone—something right spooky. LT’s got something against the underground, though you’d think that would be just his kind of place. That’s alright. He needs to, he can cremate me. It’s not exactly Catholic, and Mam would turn in her grave, but God is a unicorn and no one is pure anymore, so. What’s all that got to do with me?”

Johnny “Soap” McTavish has a journal. Had. It is his no longer.

Simon “Ghost” Riley had dreams—awful ones, the kind that sank claws into his lungs, dragged him into sleep, and then sent him careening out of it. He still has dreams, but they’re different, now. Better. Johnny’s pages have folded themselves under his eyes and gotten into his head, brighter and more infectious than anything else has ever been. It’s more than the past, that rotting carcass behind him, and more than now. Now is nothing. Now is ash. It’s like, it’s like—blinding, is what it is. He’s a blind man.

It is biblical now. Ghost has read it backward and forward and sideways and inside out. When he runs out of things to read, he reads them again, and when that is not enough, he reads between the lines.

[psychicuniiverse]

Self-Responsibility

1. Take Responsibility to Prioritize Yourself

To take control of your life, you first have to feel worthy of a good life to make better decisions. Some people avoid taking responsibility for their lives because they have self-limiting beliefs. Thus, they may feel as though they don’t deserve better. Remember that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. You can’t give love and support to others if you aren’t providing it for yourself. Prioritize yourself by practicing self-care and self-love activities. In loving yourself, you improve your confidence and understand that you have the final say in how you want your life to go. Self-love and self-care activities include: a five minute meditation, gardening, journaling, taking a hot bath, pampering yourself, and repeating positive daily affirmations.

2. Stop Playing the Blame Game

Although convenient, it’s a massive form of self-sabotage when we play the blame game. It’s usually relatively easy to point the finger and cast judgment towards others instead of looking at our actions. When we are hyper-focused on other people’s mistakes, we often miss learning many important lessons. People play the blame game for many reasons. You may be defensive when the light is shined on your wrongdoings. This can lead to you avoiding accountability which typically worsens the problem.

3. Make Time for Self Reflection

To take responsibility for your thoughts and actions, you need to become aware. Self-reflection allows you to develop more self-awareness. When you are mindful of your feelings, thoughts, and actions, you understand the patterns and logic behind the things that you do. With this information in mind, you can take stock of negative habits and replace them with good habits instead. To self-reflect, you should write your feelings and thoughts down in a mindfulness journal. As time passes, you can reread your journal entries and gain deeper insight into how you felt at the time, taking note of any patterns you may notice.

4. Take Accountability

Being responsible entails taking accountability. Some people love receiving praise but find difficulty in accepting responsibility when things don’t quite pan out. When you avoid taking blame or admitting that you were wrong, you don’t grow. Pride is a primary reason why some people have trouble taking accountability. However, this is usually to their detriment, leaving them to continue repeating the same mistakes over and over again. When we accept responsibility, we understand our part in a given situation. Much of how we are treated is dependent on how we treat ourselves. Hence, it’s vital to be honest with yourself when you’ve done something wrong instead of avoiding transparency and making excuses. Of course, you do not want to engage in self-pity or feelings of guilt. However, in being accountable, you can a more proactive approach by correcting poor behavior and making better decisions.

5. Don’t Internalize Judgment

Everyone has an opinion on something. However, you shouldn’t internalize other people’s judgments towards you. We are all unique in our way, having our perspectives on success and happiness. Though many of our loved ones have good intentions, it’s not rare for them to project their wishes onto us. For example, some parents may want their child to select a specific major, occupation, or even partner. You can’t live your life to appease someone else. You are responsible for living your own life.

Instead of internalizing judgments and opinions, make an extra effort to get to know yourself better. What do happiness and success look like to you? What are your standards when looking for a romantic partner? When we live true to ourselves, we live happier and more fulfilled lives. So, this will require you to be completely honest with yourself. You may even need to take some time away from people who constantly impose their views on you as this can create internal conflict, rendering decision-making a considerable challenge.

6. Practice Compassion Towards Yourself

Taking responsibility can be difficult because you understand that you control the direction you want your life to go. Upon coming to this realization, one can be a bit hard on themselves. Many of us are indeed our worst critics. When we judge ourselves harshly, we throw off our inner equilibrium. We feel ungrounded, unsupported, unsustainable, and very discouraged. As this persists, an individual can feel hopeless and even depressed—practice self-compassion. Instead reinforce positive self-talk, find humor in the situation. Don’t feel guilt and resentment, feel gratitude for learning the lesson. Instead of feeling as though you’ve wasted your time, find the wisdom in all that you’ve discovered about yourself. A mere shift in perspective is a potent action to take when you take responsibility for your life.

7. Be Mindful of Excuses

A common trait of irresponsible people is that they make or find an array of excuses. An irresponsible person who wants to eat healthier may say that they can’t because they don’t have time. However, if they are to be responsible, accountable, and honest, they would be able to sit down and figure out a way to make time. We can find many reasons not to make life changes. However, to allow these reasons to influence you not to make any change is when that reason becomes an excuse. And, at that moment, you’ve just given your power away. We all have the same 24 hours each day. How we choose to spend it is what we are all responsible for. And, this will show in the quality of life we have. So, stop making excuses for yourself.

8. Take Responsibility to Remove Toxic People

When it comes to making excuses, you may have others doing this for you. These people may want to spare you from your harsh judgment. However, this can be enabling you to continue unhealthy habits and toxic behavior. People who genuinely care for you and love you will hold you accountable because they want to see you achieve your dreams. Whereas, some individuals may want to keep you from reaching your goals as to keep you codependent on them. In such cases, these are not true friends.

To take responsibility for your life, you must also take responsibility for the people you keep in your life. People who frequently complain, self-loathe, self-deprecate, and speak down on your progress aren’t beneficial for your growth. They can stunt your progress. Make sure to keep healthy and supportive relationships. Also, you should seek to establish emotional independence to make better decisions from an objective stance and attract authentic people into your life

9. Eradicate Negative Self-Talk

To take responsibility, eradicate negative self-talk. Negative self-talk can come from childhood trauma inflicted by abuse within the household or bullying at school. These negative, self-limiting beliefs we have of ourselves usually originate from the projections and judgments other people throw at us. When we are younger, we tend to internalize these words, and they become ingrained in our minds. It takes time to un-condition such negative ideas about Self. However, it’s possible by doing activities aimed at self-love and self-care.

We come into this world with a very clean slate. As we grow, we begin to take on our personality. Much of this has to do with the environment we are socialized in. However, you do not have to be a product of your environment. You can take responsibility for your life and reclaim your full potential by utilizing the approaches mentioned above.

[oliviafitmomof3]

[whimsyprinx]

I feel like now is a good time to announce that I’m in the process of moving blogs! Im doing so for a few reasons, the main one being paranoia, so for that reason I won’t be saying my new urls publicly so like please dm me if you’d like my new url so you can follow me there! I’ll be reblogging this post a lot so ppl can see it (so sorry if you get annoyed by that)!

I’m also remaking my discord account as well so if we’re friends on there then feel free to message me for my new username!

friends and mutuals please do reblog so shared friends/mutuals have a higher chance seeing it!

[maretriarch]

hi. im the thinnest woman youve ever seen in your life and im here to lecture you about intuitive eating. if you're fat that's your fault for not listening to your body correctly. you should just be eating what you want, as much as you want, when you want even though that's what you've done your entire life, but somehow youre intuitively eating the wrong way. buy my course and i will teach you the rules for my no-food-rules diet i mean lifestyle i mean food freedom. with rules.

[anothergoodtime]

Over 40lbs down in 6 months, the first time I’ve felt my ribcage in years. Battling this PCOS one workout at a time. 💪🏻

[harmony-and-peace]

🌱 Pomysły na zdrowe śniadania cz. I 🌱