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messedupfan · 6 months

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Chapter 15

Summary: It's the morning after Y/n's drunken night and they have no idea where they are. Wanda recruits Agatha to help with a legal issue. And Tommy and Billy have a tournament that they are excited about.

A/n: Y'all this is almost 10k so please don't be mad at me for the slow update haha. Also, this kind of got away from me so I hope it's good? I don't know. Also, I can't believe we're at Chapter 15 and it's not even close to being done! Ugh, I have such good chapters planned too! I can't wait to write them. Anyways... Enjoy!

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You wake up, confused by your surroundings. You fear for a moment that you might've slept with someone random at the bar the night before. You don’t remember getting flirty with someone but with the way things have been you wouldn’t be surprised if you acted impulsively the night before. You groan softly as you shut your eyes. The last thing you need right now is another compilation. So you're careful as you step out of the bed, hoping you’re able to make a clean escape.

You're filled with relief as you find yourself fully clothed as you sit on the slightly familiar bed. Is this an ex’s bed? Did you call Daisy? No, you doubt she’d have answered anyway. You are almost certain she has blocked your number by now. Then you think back to who you invited and consider that maybe this is Darcy’s home. Your head is pounding as you wrack your brain to remember where you know these soft sheets from. As you look around the room you notice pills on the nightstand and a glass of water. You take the pills and brace yourself to stand up. As you stand in the middle of the room, it clicks in your mind where you are and you can’t believe it took you so long to figure it out. Wanda. You stretch before you walk out of the room.

As soon as you open the door, you're greeted with an inviting aroma. You follow it as if you were a cartoon character all the way down the stairs. Wanda is in the kitchen cooking French toast. “That smells amazing,” you compliment through a yawn.

“Good morning,” she says as she hands you a cup of steaming coffee. “You gave us all quite the scare last night,” she says as she keeps her focus on the stove. She isn’t ready to look at you after what went down between the two of you last night. With how much restraint you’ve shown her in the past, she is upset that you kissed her last night. She knows that she is guilty of kissing you when she shouldn’t have but she couldn’t let go of the annoyance she feels towards you for drinking so much. You were supposed to be the stable one out of the pair of you.

“I'm sorry,” you say with a frown. “I shouldn't have had so much to drink. I just. Things have been really weird lately. I don't really know what or how to process. I don't know. There's no excuse. I shouldn't have gotten so wasted that I don't remember last night and you shouldn't have had to take care of me.”

Wanda places the toast on a plate as she listens to you express your guilt. “It’s okay. I'm glad Darcy called me. She and two giant guys couldn't keep you under control. It gave me a bit of an ego boost,” she smiles playfully as she takes a sip from her mug. She’s going to give you a pass because you’ve given her many. “Besides, it's not like I haven't done worse with you before. It happens. Just don't make a habit of it.”

You nod as you remember the time Wanda got drunk with you and tried to convince you to have sex with her. At least nothing like that happened last night. You hope. “I promise, I won't,” you state as you watch her continue to cook. You find her attractive when she performs even the simplest of tasks. You wonder how you'll be able to sustain a friendship with her now that you're both single again. You pat your pockets for your phone to direct your attention to downloading a dating app before you let your heart convince you into doing something to jeopardize this friendship.

“Are you going to tell me what it was about or do I need to mind my own business?” Wanda asks as she adds more toast to the plate.

“I um,” you sigh as you close your phone and return it to your pocket. You look at her again and then look down into your mostly full mug. “Jean and Anna want to have a baby. With me. Except not with me. Well, they want me to help make him or her or them, they just don't want me to be the kid's parent.”

Wanda quickly turns off the burner and looks at you with wide eyes. “What?”

You nod, “Yup and they expect me to have sex with Jean. No, wait, how did Anna put it?” You tap your chin as you try to remember. “Ah yes, they want me to fornicate with Jean for reproductive purposes only.” You scoff as you bring the mug up to your lips and take a drink.

“I can't,” Wanda shakes her head. “I don’t even know where to begin to process that,” she says as she resumes cooking the breakfast. You set the mug down and look around to make yourself useful. You start chopping the vegetables she has out so that you can busy your hands and attempt to make omelets. “Are you thinking about saying yes?”

You sigh, “Only because I keep thinking about how much Rachel would love it. I mean.” You stop chopping and turn to lean against the counter and face Wanda. “I never talk about this but I had an older brother. I didn't get to know him because he passed away before my first birthday. But my parents would talk about him. There are pictures of the four of us in an album somewhere. And I've thought about how different my life would have been if I still had him. I wonder if my parents divorce would have been easier if I had someone by my side to go through it with me.” You cross your arms and shake your head.

“Rachel has already gone through her parents divorce alone, Y/n,” Wanda reminds you. “Giving them a baby isn't going to change that. She's ten, she's going to be facing big changes soon and a baby isn't going to be able to help support her. In fact, I think a baby will distract from the vital issues she is bound to face. Especially when she'll need her mom's the most. I think you need to take her out of this equation.”

You nod, “That's… well, you’re not wrong.” You scratch your cheek in thought. Trying to come up with a reason why you think you should say yes. “Jean pointed something else out to me,” you start and Wanda gives you her full attention as she stops cooking entirely. “I can have more kids whenever I want. Jean and Anna are ready to have a baby now and they don't want to have to compromise on a dream of theirs because of their inability to,” you struggle for a moment to come up with a way to end the sentence, “reproduce on their own.”

Wanda licks her lips as she thinks. She didn’t realize that Jean had this much control over you that you would tear yourself apart in order to keep her happy. She thought the two of you had the healthiest relationship she’d ever seen of a divorced couple but now she can see how wrong she was. You cannot say no to Jean and it’s killing you at the thought of having to. It seems as though there isn’t a thing she could ask of you that you will say no to. She was the one that asked for the divorce. She wanted to keep the house you put so much care in. Wanda had only been there once when Rachel invited the boys over to play. Rachel gave her a tour of everything you’d ever fixed. Vision wouldn’t even replace the batteries in the TV remote and he was pissed that he lost the house in the divorce. You cared about that house but you gave it up without a fight.

You once told Wanda about a car you saved up for in high school and paid for on your own but Jean convinced you to sell it, you did so without a thought. Your version of the story was that Jean had just told you that she was pregnant and that she didn’t think it was practical. There was a picture of it with you and Jean on the hood sitting on a shelf at her house. When Wanda asked if that was the same car from the story she was told. Jean laughed and claimed that she had you sell the car months before she found out she was pregnant simply because she didn’t like it. But because you are who you are, your memories were altered to believe the decision was made as a parent. That wasn't Jean's fault, it's just the way you had programmed yourself when you were young and in love.

This, however, wasn't about a car. She'd actually prefer that you sit here and tell her about Jean asking you to buy her a car. But asking you to procreate with her this way is… Wanda can't even fathom how the two normally level headed women came to this conclusion.

“Are you willing to sign away your parental rights? This isn't a closed adoption situation. You would have to see this child at least every Sunday for years,” she stresses the length in time to prove a point. “I think I've gotten to know you well enough that I can say, you aren't the kind of person to just help bring a kid into the world and not be part of their life.” Wanda shakes her head.

You go back to working on the omelets as you go quiet. You didn't know what to do or say. All you know for certain at the moment is that you are hungry and that you want to have an omelet with the French toast that Wanda made. “Do you have any bacon?” You ask as you rummage around her refrigerator. “Yes, you do!” You find it before she answers. Wanda is concerned about your sudden change in attitude as she watches you move around the kitchen. But she doesn’t say anything else. If you want to move on from the subject, she will move on from the subject.

While the two of you are sitting at the kitchen table eating in silence, Wanda is thinking of ways to help you if you do agree to help Jean have another baby. It wasn't fair to ask so much of you. What would you even get out of this? She can’t believe the couple is being so selfish. The entire time you were staying here, you were putting in a lot of overtime and it was painful to watch you come here beaten down and exhausted. And yet you smiled around the kids, you were playful and were very helpful in putting them to bed. Wanda could see it in your eyes that you were stressed but you never let it show. She thought about how dirty you came back every night. Evidence that you have to put in a lot of hard and physically demanding labor in order to provide. Something that many people have the luxury of never having to experience. Wanda thought about how grateful she would be to you if she had to depend on you that way. What she would do to show her appreciation. Meanwhile Jean and Anna are coming up with more ways for you to spend that hard earned money on anyone but you.

As you ate your breakfast, your mind was running around in circles about the whole thing. Even though you had a week so far to think it over, you realize that focusing on work and getting drunk every night didn't make the decision easier and it definitely didn't make any of the issues disappear. You didn't want to do this but you couldn't think of a good reason not to other than you simply didn’t want to. That doesn’t seem like enough. Not when it comes to something like this. Since you couldn't think of a good argument, you felt that your hands were tied and you might as well do it for Jean. Er, for Rachel? No, Wanda is right, Rachel cannot be a factor in this decision. But it feels weird making the decision based on your ex-wife. She isn’t your wife, which means you’re not obligated to her anymore. Only Rachel. The thought is freeing as you begin to analyze your relationship with Jean. This causes you to worry you about transferring most of your paychecks to Jean instead of directly to the hospital because she said that she should be the one to manage the payments. Was she putting the money where it’s meant to go or was she doing something else with it? She wouldn’t do that. Would she? Nothing seems as clear cut as it used to.

“Do you want a baby?” Wanda asks as the two of you take care of the dishes together.

You shake your head, “Not right now. I've had to dip into the secret college fund I have for Rachel to pay rent this month. Not a lot but still. I’m not financially in a place to have another kid. I always thought I’d wait to even have kids when I checked all of the boxes and then well, Rachel happened.”

“You have a college fund for Rachel?” Wanda asks as she dries the plate. You nod as you scrub a glass cup. “Why is it a secret?”

“Because, there is the one Jean and I started when Rachel was born and that one Jean is constantly using as a rainy day fund,” you state politely because she really did use it as a savings to pay for anything she didn’t want to use her money on. As you continue to wash the dishes you're starting to wonder if she even adds money in there at all at this point or if it’s only you. “The one I have kept a secret, I started after the divorce because I can't really trust Jean with money. She actually used the last attempt of the joint college fund on the DJ for her wedding last year. It was Anna’s cousin and he didn't actually need to be paid since he's in high school and the entire setup was his laptop, my bluetooth speakers, and YouTube. He didn't even have a paid plan so there were a lot of ad breaks throughout the event. The worst part of it all is that he has Spotify premium but he didn't want to use it because he didn't want his recommendations to be all, in his words ‘lesd up,’” you shake your head as you recall the sweaty sixteen-year old that vaped away your daughters college money all night.

The more the two of you talk the more Wanda is finding reasons why you shouldn't get involved in this. Jean might say that you would have no involvement with the child but what happens when she's having a rough financial patch and she goes to the courts for child support? Wanda knew she was going to have to call Agatha as soon as she dropped you off. You clearly needed someone to intervene and Wanda has just appointed herself to be the one to do it.

“You don't have to give me a ride home, I can pay for a ride home,” you mutter as you pull your phone out of your pocket. Wanda swipes it out of your hands.

“Are you crazy? I've seen the medical bills you guys have to pay, you need to be saving as much as you can,” Wanda says as she puts the device in her pocket. “You can have it back when you're home.” You roll your eyes but apologize as you express your gratitude. She was being kind. You didn't need to be giving her this much attitude when she was doing nice things for you.

The two of you chat lightly in the car ride to your apartment. You don't want to dive into the issues on your mind and Wanda doesn't want to upset you further. “Oh! Tommy and Billy have a big match coming up for their martial arts classes. They're really excited about it. Billy is more nervous than excited but he's still really into the whole thing. I've asked him if he wants to do something else but he's pretty dedicated to the sport. I'm glad he's staying committed. Besides, it'd be really unfair for Tommy to be better trained in how to beat up the poor kid more than he already does. At least this way, Billy has a chance.”

You smile as you agree. Billy needed the martial arts classes more than Tommy did but at least they could be fighting on an even level. “Hey, what was that brand of vodka you gave me last night?” Wanda makes a face as she doesn't recall giving you any vodka last night. “Come on, I'm not going to go on another binge. It was just really good and really familiar. What was it called?”

Wanda tries to wrack her brain for a memory of what she could have served you the night before. “I didn't, I only gave you - oh,” she smiles at you for a second and quickly returns her attention to the road ahead of her. “It was water. You wouldn't drink it so… I kind of tricked you.”

You shake your head. “I don't know if I could trust you ever again,” you say dramatically as you turn to face the window on your side of the car. “I can't even look at you.”

“What?! I was trying to keep you alive!”

“By lying to me?” You playfully accuse.

“It was for your own good!” She argues. You cross your arms over your chest and pout as you slouch in your seat.

“I'm not a child,” you say in a baby-like voice, making Wanda laugh. Her laugh breaks your act and you sit up laughing with her. It goes quiet for a bit as she gets closer to your apartment building. Then you remember the crazy work schedule you have. “Hey uh, can you help me with picking up Rachel from school this week? I'm not going to work as late as the past few weeks but I don't think I'll get out in time and I want to avoid her moms as much as I can while we figure out this whole thing.”

“You ask a lot of me,” Wanda says as a joke but you don't catch it at first so you start to stumble on an apology. “I’m kidding, of course I'll be happy to help you out with Rachel.” She doesn't mind helping with your daughter because she loves her almost as if she were her own child. Plus her boys behave better when Rachel is around. It doesn't hurt that Wanda will get to see more of you, but that’s not why she agrees.

“Thank you,” you smile at her, grateful for her generosity. You have no idea what you would do without her. You have no idea how you’ve gotten this far in life without her. You want to express more than a simple thank you but you decide against it. Now is not the time.

The next day you go over what you want to say to Jean and Anna on your drive to their house. You practice denying them over and over again. It goes poorly during the fake scenarios. One of the scenarios even ends with you offering to set up a date to start the process. You don't know why it's so hard for you to say no to Jean. You've done it plenty of times. You think. You can't come up with an example of when you've been able to say no and put your foot down when it concerns your ex-wife. But that doesn't mean that it hasn't happened.

As you walk to the door you whisper the words over and over again to yourself but once Jean opens the door the word gets lost in the back of your throat. “Have you thought about it some more?” Jean asks innocently. She's giving you a look that has made you crumble and cave into anything she has asked of you over the years.

“Um,” you start as you hold eye contact with her. Rachel has so much of her, you wonder if a new baby would look more like you or… No! You have to remind yourself that you're not doing it. You're not going to agree to this. “I have given it some consideration and I-”

Rachel hobbles by with Anna behind carrying her school bag. She should have been able to get one of those scooters. You shake your head slowly as you take the bag from Anna. Hoping that it’s enough of an answer since Rachel is present. You watch Jean’s expression drop. “Baba! Look at all of the signatures I got at school!” Rachel says excitedly as she shows off her cast.

“Wow, look at you miss popularity,” you smile at her and she blushes as she calls you a dork. “Let's get going, sweetheart.” You walk with her to the car and Jean follows, she helps you get Rachel into the truck and once the door is shut, she asks you to reconsider. “Jean, do you know what you're asking of me? Do you really have no idea what this would do to me?”

“This isn't about you and it isn't about me! It's something bigger than both of us!” She argues a little too loud for your liking.

You hold your hands up as you start to walk to the driver's side of the vehicle. “I'm not going to talk to you when you're like this. I don't even recognize you right now,” you shake your head. Jean grabs your shoulder and forces you to look at her.

“You can't say no,” she pleads, “I need you. Please. Please reconsider.” You look into her eyes and feel your throat close up. You were in love with her once upon a time. You would do anything for her. You have done everything for her. But this was too much. It’s gone too far.

“I can't, I'm sorry. You have to find someone else,” you tell her softly. Jean lets go of your shoulder and storms off to the house. She slams the door and you enter the truck with a confused and concerned daughter. “It's nothing to worry about, sweetheart. Mom is just,” you shake your head, not really having the words. “Anyway, I'm going to work late this week so I asked Wanda to pick you up with the boys if that's okay with you.” You inform her to get her mind onto something more positive.

Rachel lights up. Completely forgetting about her mom’s odd behaviour. “Are we staying with her again?”

You shake your head as you start the engine. “No, no, that was a one time thing honey. She's just going to take you to her house and I'll pick you up from there. Okay?”

Rachel frowns for a second but quickly perks up. “Okay, that will be cool.” She puts on some music and it cheers you up to hear her happy little voice singing again.

“Wanda! Darling, how are you?” Agatha greets Wanda with a hug. “What is this big emergency?” Wanda had asked Agatha to brunch a few hours before she had to pick up the boys from their dad's.

Her friend is a family attorney and she has seen many unique cases over the years. If there was anyone that might be able to help you, Wanda believes it will be Agatha. “It's about a friend of mine. They have been put in an interesting position and I was wondering if you could help me understand their rights.”

Agatha looks at Wanda as she ponders her words. A waiter walks by and she stops him. “Hey there cutie, do you mind getting my friend and I here a couple of mimosas. Thank you, you are such a gem!” The young man blushes as he walks off to get the drinks. “What's the position your friend has been put in exactly?” Agatha asks Wanda, assuming that it has something to do with Wanda and she’s a bit embarrassed.

“They've been asked to help bring a child into the world and then sign away any parental rights should they succeed in conceiving. Giving the mother sole custody and the other parent a front row seat to their childs-”

“I'm going to stop you right there. I actually know what you're talking about,” Agatha cuts her friend off.

“You do?” Wanda is shocked, she begins to wonder if your friends told her or worse, if Jean and Anna hired her.

“Yes, I just didn't think it was going to be a real issue. I mean, the idea came from a shrooms trip, I wasn't exactly inclined to believe them. Oh! Thank you,” Agatha takes the mimosa from the waiter. “You are really earning your tip, sweetheart. While I have you, I'll take two omelet breakfast burritos with a side of french toast and a side cup of fruit. Wanda? What are you having?”

Wanda is thrown off by the new information she had just received that she doesn't remember a single menu item that she had been mulling over while waiting for Agatha. “I-I suppose I'll have the same. Thank you,” she hands the waiter the menu and takes a sip from her mimosa. “So wait, they told you about this?” Wanda asks as she tries to make sense of anything.

“You're talking about Jean and Anna right?” Wanda nods. “Then yeah, at your new years eve party, we were sharing stories about experimenting with a substance or two and they said that they had taken shrooms on their day off to help them heal or whatever and they both saw a baby that was supposed to be theirs and they were thinking of asking Y/n to help them,” Agatha explains and suddenly everything seems clearer to Wanda. Why else would they think this was a sane idea?

“Wow,” Wanda shakes her head just as she gets into the details of what Jean and Anna actually asked of you. The food comes out before Wanda is finished explaining, interrupting her for a moment. Agatha shakes her head as she cuts into her burrito shaped eggs when her friend continues the absurd story.

“The nerve,” she says as she stabs her fork into her food. “The amount of cases I see where people are begging for the other biological parent to give a single fuck about their children is ridiculous as it is. But never do I experience someone expecting a caring person to give that up.” Wanda agrees. She has to work so hard to keep Vision in her kids' lives. Part of her has thought about what it would be like to just stop calling him, stop dropping the boys off, but she knows that doesn't benefit the boys. Besides, he would most likely use that as a reason to take her to court or use it as a way to tarnish her reputation with mutual friends and colleagues. He's very good when it comes to working a room against those he loathes the most.

“I don't want to believe that Y/n would agree to something like this but, I am still getting to know them. It seems like Jean is a person in their life that they can't say no to,” Wanda starts. “What legal steps do you think Y/n should take in order to protect themselves and their rights in this matter.”

Agatha tips her head side to side as she thinks. “You're lucky I lost that bet, because if Jean and or Anna had to pay me on new years eve then I wouldn't be able to help. It would have made it a little more difficult, I should say.” She pulls one of her business cards out of its holder and hands it to Wanda. “Give this to Y/n as soon as possible and have them book an appointment immediately. I'll have to take a lot less than my normal fee but I'm willing to take the case and be their lawyer. Besides, it's a requirement that I take a few pro bono cases a year. This will help me meet my quota. Y/n just has to be vigilant and meet with me first.”

Wanda nods as she listens to every direction carefully. Agatha then changes the subject to her dating life and how she's thinking about taking a break from the dating scene. Mostly because one of her hookups turned out to be the gym teacher at the kids school. She didn't know until after an awkward encounter when Nicholas had been dropped off early without her knowledge and he recognized his gym teacher. “Poor boy is traumatized, we're both starting individual therapy this week,” Agatha concludes as she takes a sip of the tea the waiter brought out for her.

“You're seeing a therapist?” Wanda’s mouth hangs open.

“Close your mouth, you'll catch flies,” Agatha taps the tips of her fingers against the bottom of Wanda's chin. Wanda shuts her mouth.

“I'm sorry, I just, I never saw you as the therapy type is all. But, no, I'm sorry that came out all… that's great!” Wanda stumbles on her words, amusing Agatha.

“Oh please, I've been very vocal over the years about how you and Carol are the only therapy I need. But, well, now Nicholas is scarred for life and it was my actions that caused that, so I have to face the consequences,” Agatha elaborates. “We'll see how it goes, of course.”

On Monday, Bucky and Thor check in at the start of their shifts when they arrive at the job site. They each take turns in expressing their concerns and you assure them that you are fine. You thank them and they eventually move on to do their part of the job but you can tell that they don't fully believe you. It’s not something you can dwell on when you’re working. It’s dangerous to think about anything other than work when you’re here. A distraction and a simple mistake could cost someone’s life in this industry.

After a long shift, you drive to Wanda’s house to pick up Rachel. You’re exhausted but you mentally prepare yourself to be in Rachel’s presence. You know that she will have so much to talk about and you want to give her your undivided attention. Plus, you’re going to have to have the energy to make her dinner. When you pull up to Wanda’s driveway, you call your friend to have her send your daughter out but she invites you inside. You didn't want her to invite you to stay for dinner because she was already doing so much for you, but Wanda is pretty convincing. After some resistance, you end up in her bathroom to clean up for dinner. Washing your face and your hands to remove the dirt and grime.

Dinner starts with Tommy and Billy going on and on about the tournament that they're training for. Just as Wanda warned that they would. You hang onto their every word as they describe what they practice at the dojo. Eventually they get too excited and start talking over each other, resulting in them to start bickering with each other.

“Hold on, boys. Please, you can go one at a time. I don't mind hearing both of your perspectives,” you say calmly to get them to focus on the subject rather than the argument of who should tell the story. The boys are so used to competing for Vision’s attention that neither considered that you’d like to hear from the both of them. Wanda watches as you get them to settle down without raising your voice or threatening them with some sort of punishment. She can't see why Jean would want to cut you out of this part of having a child. But she definitely understands why she's asking to have another child with you. Your patience is giving Wanda baby fever.

Then you make sure that Rachel gets to talk about her day once her boys have gone on too long. You listen with the same enthusiasm that you showed her boys as Rachel goes on about how she was a warrior princess during recess even though Wanda doubts you have any interest in either of the topics. When Rachel is done speaking, you turn to Wanda. “And how was your day? I know it's tough to follow ninja training,” you gesture to the twins, “and my little warrior princess. But I’d still love to hear about it.” Your tone is soft as you speak to her. Wanda finishes her meal to occupy her mouth as she thinks of a proper response and to stop herself from blushing because of your attentiveness.

“It was good. I got a lot of work done and then I picked up the kids,” she smiles at the three of them and messes with Billy's hair since he's the closest to her. You smile as you watch her. “We did homework and then we made dinner together. Rachel was a really big help. We were very happy to have her. Weren't we?” Wanda directs the question to her boys who nod with wide smiles.

“I don't like salads but I think Rachel made the best one I've ever had,” Tommy compliments as he helps himself to another serving of the salad.

“Thank you,” Rachel responds shyly. “I really like the bread you made. It was my favorite part.” The meal was spaghetti with salad and cheesy garlic bread. She grabs another slice of bread to add to her plate. You watch the kids interact with a slight fear that they might develop feelings for each other in the future. For the moment, you push the thoughts away from your mind. Rachel is smarter than you and her mother, she won’t make the same mistakes. You hope.

When the kids eventually run from the table because you warn that Rachel has ten minutes left here, that's when Wanda finally brings up the conversation she had with Agatha the day before. “I just want you to be protected if you decide to go through with it,” Wanda says as she finishes explaining.

You stare at the card for a moment and sigh. “Thank you for this but I already told her I'm not doing it.”

Wanda is surprised to hear that you said no. When she last saw you on Saturday, you were beating yourself up about saying yes. She wonders what changed but she doesn't question it. “Still, call Agatha and set up a meeting. Just in case. You don't want to be caught in something that you can't get out of and Agatha is a really great lawyer.”

On Wednesday, you are spending your lunch break sitting in Agatha’s office. You tell her that you already declined Jean’s proposition but express your concern that Jean might try something in retaliation. “Interesting,” Agatha starts as she leans closer. “How so?”

You look out the large windows in her corner office and sigh. You clench your jaw as you think about the times that Jean has been denied in the past and it wasn’t ever good. “She just, she doesn’t like to be told no. I don’t know what she’ll do but she’s capable of anything. Honestly, I’m kind of scared to drop Rachel off on Sunday because she might not let me see her again until I change my answer.”

Agtha sits up with a concerned frown. “She shouldn’t be able to do that. Unless,” she squints her eyes as she looks you up and down. “Do you have partial custody of Rachel?”

“Yes, but it’s a little more complicated than that.” You bite the inside of your cheek as you look at Agatha like a child telling his mother that he did something bad. “At the time of our divorce I was between jobs and didn’t really have my own place to live. The judge saw me as an unfit parent that should only be allowed supervised visitations on the weekends.” You explain slowly as you go over the details from your memory. “Jean thought that was a crazy ruling but didn’t say anything in court. I think because she was broke and single at the time and wanted to be the one who received child support.” You shake your head as you remember the darkest period of your life. “We eventually worked out our own arrangement but we never updated it with the court. And honestly I forgot all about it until this stuff came up. But, gosh, I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid.” You run your fingers through your hair and lift your tongue to the roof of your mouth to prevent yourself from crying. “On paper, Jean has more parental rights to Rachel than I do.”

Agatha nods as she takes notes. “Actually, you might have more than you think,” she says. “I have looked up Jean’s address and it’s not within Rachel’s current school district. Correct?” You confirm. “But your address is, is that correct?” You confirm again and sit up straighter as you clear your throat. “Well, then that means you have documentation stating that Rachel’s permanent address is the same as your permanent address. Which could be used as evidence that you are her primary caregiver and not your ex-wife.”

“But I’m not her primary, I mean, we both take care of her eqaually,” you respond nervously. Not wanting to start a nasty custody battle with Jean right now.

“Listen, I know this is overwhelming. I’m not going to send a formal letter to Jean or petition the court without your say so. I’m just thinking about worst case scenario. I genuinely hope that when you drop off Rachel on Sunday that you will be able to pick her up on the following Sunday. But in the event that Jean decides to enforce her rights as the primary caregiver, then we have to be ready to present your case to a judge. Besides, for Rachel’s sake, you should have that updated soon. You’re a good parent and anyone can see how much she adores you. Do you want to have that taken from you in the blink of an eye?” Agatha poses a compelling argument and you really start to consider your options here.

“Can I get back to you on that? I really have to get back to work,” you say instead of giving her the go ahead. You really needed to think about this some more. You worried that if you took Jean to court right now to get it formally stated that you should have equal custody of Rachel, and maybe even got your child support payments lowered, she would do everything in her power to stop you. She was so upset the last time you saw her. You’re surprised she didn’t rip Rachel out of the truck right then and there. Agatha is right, though, Jean can decide to take Rachel from you at any moment and you can’t do much to stop her.

You consider your options the rest of the day. When you are inevitably left alone with Wanda, you talk about how the meeting went with Agatha. You tell her the information on the patio as the two of you sit and have a glass of wine together. Wanda is speechless at the end of it and she brings two fingers to her lips and blows air out when she removes them. “Are you fake smoking?” You ask as you recognize the gesture.

“Yes, this is stressful but I'm a mom this week so I can't light a real one,” she says as she continues to pretend to smoke. I can't help but laugh at how serious she is as she speaks. I hold my hand out.

“Do you mind if I get a hit of that?” I ask and Wanda agrees. She hands you air and you pretend to take a couple of puffs before you hand it back to her. “Whoo, you didn't tell me that was weed!” You say playfully, making Wanda smile. She shrugs in response.

“I told you I was smoking, I didn't say what I was smoking,” she goes back to pretending to smoke.

You look up at the night sky and sigh as you think about everything going on in your life right now. “How did everything get so messed up?” The question is rhetorical and not at all directed to Wanda and she knows that. She lets the question go unanswered for a few minutes as silence lingers between the two of you.

“I don’t know,” Wanda looks at you with a slight frown and sad eyes. She reaches out and holds your hand. You accept the small gesture of comfort. “What do you think you're going to do?” You shake your head, not really knowing what you should do. “Do you think you can have a rational conversation with her?” You shrug, before Jean made the request you would have said yes without any doubt. Now, you're not as confident in any answer.

“I should at least try though, right?” You ask rhetorically. Wanda shrugs, mentioning that it might not hurt. You smile. “Would you mind if I dropped Rachel off here on Saturday? So that I can have a conversation with Jean and Anna without risking Rachel's ignorance to the situation.”

Wanda nods, “Of course! I'm sure the boys will love it. Besides, I'm probably going to be in your debt for a while since you've volunteered yourself to be the boys punching bag until their tournament is over.”

You laugh, “You're never in my debt, Wanda. I'm happy to help the boys with any extra training. And if anyone is in debt here it's me with you. You've done so much for a stranger that you met last summer in a liquor store.” You smile fondly at the memory of seeing a woman who looked like she needed some kindness in that moment. “I don't know how to thank you enough.”

Wanda thinks about how the two of you haven't known each other for a year and yet it feels as though you've always been in her life. She smiles, “When you put it like that, I don't know how we ever got here in the first place. I should have had you arrested.”

“What?” You are amused by the statement. “Why would you have me arrested?”

“I was a mess that day! Then you're hitting on me? I don't know, it's kind of a red flag that you were interested in me when I was broken.”

“Hitting on you?” You make a face. “No offense, but I was far from hitting on you that day. You looked lonely but not in the ‘I’m open for a hookup’ kind of lonely. Like the ‘I might throw myself off a bridge if someone doesn't smile at me’ kind of lonely.”

Wanda’s jaw drops. “You're telling me that you only approached me because I looked suicidal?”

You shrug with a nod, “Kind of.” Wanda’s grip on your hand loosens as she shakes her head but she finds the whole scenario to be a bit funny. “But hey, if we hadn't met that night, we would have met a number or times. That just happened to be our origin story.”

Wanda closes her fingers around your hand again as she thinks about it. She was going to meet you for the first time when you came over to work on her wall. And if she hadn't met you either of those times, then it might've been because of Rachel and her boys being friends. If not then, it could've been a PTA meeting or at a school sanctioned event. She hadn't realized how connected her life is to yours until now. It feels like destiny. It feels like she was enchanted to meet you.

On Saturday, after you dropped Rachel off with Wanda, you are standing at the front door of Jean and Anna’s house. You are working up the nerve to knock on the door. You pace back and forth making the situation bigger and bigger in your mind.

“Y/n?” Jean’s voice startles you and you jump as you turn around. Jean and Anna both have grocery bags in their hands. You didn’t even think that they weren’t home this entire time.

“Hey, hi, um,” you stumble on your greeting. “Here, let me get that for you.” You take the bags from Jean’s hands and she looks at you weird but she doesn’t stop you. She unlocks the front door and you follow the two women inside.

“What brings you here?” Anna asks as she starts to pull items out of the bag,

“Where’s Rachel? Is everything okay?” Jean asks with a concerned frown.

You are confused by their calm demeanors. You expected the two to be upset with you. You expected Jean to be hostile towards you. “She’s fine, she with her friends. I wanted to talk to you guys about the whole baby thing. Without Rachel being nearby,” you state as you nervously rub your hands together.

“Oh,” Jean says as she stops unpacking the reusable grocery bag. “I’m sorry about my reaction on Sunday. I’ve been so emotional lately, I don’t know why. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. Especially not with Rachel so close by.”

“So you’re not mad that I won’t do it?” You ask with caution, not sure if you’re safe or not right now.

Jean takes a deep breath and Anna comes up behind her to hold her. “I’m not mad at you. It was an unfair thing to ask of you. I truly apologize. I don’t know, I just thought that Rachel is such a wonderful kid and she was such a good baby that I didn’t want to risk creating some sort of little monster with someone else.”

You smile as you think about what Rachel was like as a baby and she wasn’t easy at all. “I hate to break it to you but Rachel was a nightmare when she was a baby. She didn’t become enjoyable until she was a toddler.” Jean makes a face as she claims that’s not how she remembers it. “That’s because I let you sleep through it. But that kid had a set of lungs on her and she made sure to use them at two in the morning every night for months. Then she spit up everything we fed her, then she had the phase when she would grab her poop and fling it. I can go on and on.” Jean’s expression changes as she makes a connection from your words to a suppressed memory.

“I guess you’re right,” Jean mumbles. “I guess I just had my rose colored lenses on it all. I’m sorry.” You shrug and let her know that it’s okay. “Is that all that you wanted to talk about?”

You bite your cheek as you wonder if you should even bring up the custody issue but decide that now is as good of a time as any. “I will admit, your reaction on Sunday did scare me. It reminded me that I don’t have as much custody over Rachel as I should and -”

“Wait, no, you do,” Jean stops you and you make a shocked expression. “Don’t you remember? There was all of this paper work that we all had to fill out when Anna was adopting Rachel. So that we have equal custody?” You crease your eyebrows as you think back to several months ago and you vaguely remember signing a bunch of legal documents. Jean walks out of Anna’s arms and over to her study. She reappears with a folder and shuffles through the documents inside. “Here it is,” she hands it to you. “Right there it states that we have an even split joint custody with no imbalance. Not like that bullshit first ruling. I think that judge was just mad that you identify as nonbinary.” You take the document and look it over and that’s when memory comes back to you. How could you forget a momentous occasion like that?

“Oh, wow, I’m sorry. I don’t know how I forgot,” you look up from the document. “I’m sorry that my mind went to the idea that you would keep Rachel from me.” You hand the document back to Jean and she puts it back into it’s folder. She hugs you and you relax in her arms.

“It’s not your fault, I have done some questionable things in the past. I mean hell, I asked you to be a sperm donor in the most bizzare way possible. I wouldn’t have trusted me if I were you.” This causes your body to shake with laughter. “Are we okay?” Jean asks as she steps back. You nod with a relieved grin. “Good, because we are going to be in each other’s lives forever and I don’t want us to hate each other. Forever is a long time.”

“I agree,” you say softly. “I’m glad that we could resolve this too. It’s been weighing heavy on me the past couple of weeks.” You stay with Jean and Anna for an hour to catch up with them and make sure that everything between the three of you is actually resolved. Then you drive to Wanda’s house. She and the kids are playing an intense game of Mario Kart, a game you’ve been banned from because you win every time, and you don’t want to interrupt. You sit next to Wanda and laugh when you notice that she is in last place. When Tommy wins he jumps out proudly.

“Take that! I win! I’m a winner! You’re all losers! Haha you guys suck!” He does a little dance that makes you dislike him for the moment. You know that he’s a good kid but he wasn’t a good sport when it came to competition. It was something that Wanda says that Vision encouraged. That Vision only produces winners.

Rachel doesn’t like the excessive showboating and she stands up with a red face. “We don’t suck! You’re just a cheater!”

“Am not!” Tommy scowls at the accusation.

“Are too!” Rachel fires back.

You grab her around her waist and pull her to sit on your lap. “Cool off, tiger,” you say as you hold your daughter. “It’s just a game, okay?”

“But Baba, he always wins and it’s not fair!” She pouts as she crosses her arms over her chest and glares at Tommy. You look at Wanda for help but she is preoccupied with comforting Billy, he was fighting tears. So instead you start to tickle Rachel to distract her from the loss. She squeals as she tries to get out of your grasp. You let go of her and stand up after she does.

“Bad sportsmanship has awoken the Tickle Monster!” You roar as you hold your arms up in the air and wiggle your fingers. Tommy and Billy’s eyes widen along with Rachel’s as they watch you act foolish. You stomp up to Tommy and start to tickle him until he escapes your grasp.

“Run! It’s the Tickle Monster!” He shouts as he runs away. You grab Rachel again as she runs past you ans she screeches out as you tickle her. “No! Rachel!” Tommy says as he turns around.

“Go!” Rachel gets out between laughs. “Save yourselves!” You don’t stop tickling her until Billy and Tommy both charge for your legs. They knock you down and you releas your daughter. Tommy and Billy start tickling you back and you laugh until you can’t breathe.

“Okay, that’s enough boys,” Wanda intervenes. You open your eyes and see that she is recording you.

Tommy and Billy don’t stop so you have to beg them, “Boys! Boys! The Tickle Monster is dead! It’s me! It’s Y/n!” They finally stop tickling you and move away. Rachel then challenges the boys to a physical race in the backyard. You lay on the floor catching your breath as the three kids run to the backyard.

“Thank you for that,” Wanda says as she sits on the couch.

“To be honest, I wasn’t sure if Rachel was going to kill Tommy or if Tommy was going to kill her,” you say as you sit up and lean on your elbows. “Figure I turn myself into the enemy before we had a massacre on our hands.” Wanda laughs as she nods her head. She look out the backdoor and watches the three kids set up their little race.

“So, how’d it go?” She asks as she turns back to you.

“Everything has been resolved,” you state as you stand up. “It was a nice conversation, actually.”

Wanda puts her hand on her chest, “That’s amazing news. I’m so glad to hear that.” Then she makes a face as a thought crosses her mind. “Wait, when you say that it got resolved you don’t mean-”

“No,” you shake your head, “I didn’t agree to the whole baby thing.” Wanda relaxes again and then stretches over the couch to get a better view of the kids. She doesn’t want any of them to get hurt and she is especially worried about Rachel and her bad leg. “I’m surprised she thinks she has a chance to win in that cast,” you say as you watch the kids aswell.

“Well that’s what happens when you teach kids to believe that they can do whatever they want,” Wanda shrugs. She smiles when the boys don’t run as fast as they can and let Rachel win. She knows that they can be a little competitive at times, well Tommy more than Billy, but she still has hope that they’ll grow into kind men one day.

After their race is over, Tommy tackles Billy, making you and Wanda run outside to break it up. Tommy gets punished because Billy got a bloody nose from the attack. While you help Billy practice for the tournament, Tommy has to do chores. He washes dishes and has to clean his room. He’s upset that he has to clean but he did feel bad for causing his brother to bleed. So he does as he is told.

Billy’s nose doesn’t bleed for long. You examine it carefully and tap the nostrils and ask him if any of it hurts. When you can confirm that he is fine you start to ask him a ridiculous amount of times if something hurt until he started to laugh. You tell him to get his uniform on so that Wanda can get the blood stains out of his shirt and so that the two of you can practice.

You didn’t take martial arts when you were younger but you wanted to be helpful to Wanda’s kids because she is always so helpful with your daughter. Since the day you offered to help them, you went to bed watching training videos. You were a little nervous about practicing with them but you knew how to be careful enough to not hurt them. Plus, you figured that anything you did wrong, Tommy and Billy would correct you.

When Billy is ready, you and him stand in the middle of the backyard on the grass. Wanda is sitting on her patio with Rachel. Both of them have a glass of ice tea in front of them with a pitcher sitting in the middle of the table. They both cheer you and Billy on. The both of you bow before getting in the fighting position. You are impressed with how coordinated Billy is and you can tell that he wants to be a winner. Tommy is finished with his chores before you and Billy are done with the match and as you predicted, when you did something wrong, the boys called you out on it. Tommy ran over to show you how to properly stand and make the move. You did as he told you and then rewarded him by telling him to get dressed because he was next.

Wanda was planning on making dinner but because she enjoyed watching you train with her boys, she ordered takeaway instead. She figured that it would be a nice treat for everyone anyway. She watches your every move, you’re not as coordinated as her boys but she is impressed by what you’ve been able to learn in the past few days. She knows that you weren’t an expert in the sport but she was touched by your dedication to help her kids.

“Alright, time to eat!” Wanda calls out when the door bell goes off, signalling the delivery of the food. “You boys were so good,” she praises as she kisses her sons on the tops of their heads. “Go wash up so we can eat.” Rachel runs off with the boys to go wash her hands as well, leaving you and Wanda alone for the moment. You and Wanda set the table together and lay out the different types of pizza on the counter. When everything is set, Wanda surprises you with a hug. You accept it with a small laugh as you ask her what the hug is for. “You don’t know what it means to me that you’re being so helpful with them,” she admits against your chest. You don’t know what to say so you just hold her for the moment.

“Wanda, I need to wash my hands too,” you say when you’ve let go of the hug but she hasn’t.

“Fine,” she says as she steps away. You wash your hands in the kitchen sink. The kids run through and Wanda goes over the kinds of pizza’s she ordered and the kinds of drinks she has available. The each fill their plates and you help them with filling their cups.

“Are you going to be at our tournament?” Billy asks as he adjusts his glasses on his face, they had slipped down the bridge of his nose.

“Um,” you look at Wanda, unsure about how to answer. You figured that this might be something that Vision might go to and since Rachel isn’t in the class or even remotely interested in the activity, you couldn’t use her as an excuse. Wanda shrugs at first because she isn’t even sure if Vision will attend. He hasn’t been interested in Tommy and Billy since his daughter was born. It hurts Wanda on many levels but she knows the boys have support other than Vision. They have Pietro and Tony and their grandparents. But what helps her the most in this rough moment in her life is that her boys seek your support and validation and you give it unconditionally. She doesn’t want you to worry about not being able to attend so she decides to nod. “Yeah, of course I’ll be there. I have to support my two favorite fighters.”

“Yes!” Both boys cheer with grins. You find it adorable that they want you there, even though you are nervous about Vision causing a scene. You just hope that nothing goes wrong.

Chapter 16

Taglist: @princessprudy @sayah13 @agaymilflover @awkwardmandalorian @bentleywolf29 @thatshyboy1998 @artisannat @thisischaismagic @wqndanat @madamevirgo @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @the-writer-arcane @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff @aloneodi @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @jovialsublimecomputer @natasha-maximoff @iliketozoneout @doudouneverte @druggedduck @notbornbutforged @when-wolves-howl @lifespectator @justyourwritter69 @wandaromamoff69 @awesomelygayasf @nekoannie-chan @diaryoflife @wuwu96 @wandanats-goodgirl @sincerely-indi @blueredg52 @sisiofthemultifandom @fuzzyuniversityeclipsefriend @arcturusseer @scarlettwidow34 @chasethemoon @raven-ss @canyonyodeler @sokovianbaby @alexawynters @bittysworld @hopeless-romantic17177 @spongebobtentacles

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff au #wanda #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda fanfic #wanda x reader #wanda x y/n #wanda x you #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maxmoff x y/n #wonderstruck series #wonderstruck #messedupfan

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secondratefiction · 5 months

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Hi there! Hope you’re doing well! Kicking that funeral services degree’s ass with any luck!! I was wondering if you would be up to writing a drabble for Jason or Tim (whoever you think fits the scenario best) as the boyfriend of a law student. Maybe where they’re living together and she’s just barely getting 3-5 hours of sleep a night while trying to study for finals, writing a full legal brief, practicing for oral arguments, getting ready for her summer associateship, and applying for moot court and law review. (Is this based on some poor law student’s real life? We may never know!) And just like her needing someone to be there and take care of her, but also her wanting to take care of him too even though she is very much Trying Her Best to Survive™? (Btw thank you so much for blessing us with batfam content galore, absolute ICON <3 )

Oh good lord… bless you and this ‘hypothetical’ poor law student. I know my degree is kicking my ass all across the state and back, so I can only imagine… They keep telling me the degrees are worth it… we’ll ride it out and see. Good vides, and better times love 💜

—

Now I fully believe that Timmy would be wonderful at this in his own right… but every single thing about this request violently screams Jason Todd to me…

There are only so many hours and so many spoons in a day, and unfortunately a law degree takes up almost every single ounce of both of them

However, Jason has this innately ingrained need to take care of the people that matter to him, so this is exactly where he shines

He was always Alfred’s best protege, so the man cooks and cleans house like a pro. Not only that, but it’s something that he genuinely enjoys because they are simple and repetitive tasks that let zone out and go through the motions to decompress from his ‘other job’.

While he’s happy to take care of all of that and leave you to focus on the proverbial, ever-growing mountain of work you have - He’s not above making you stop to take a break.

It is not an uncommon occurrence for this man to literally close your laptop, throw you over his shoulder*, and haul you out to the kitchen table to sit down and have a meal with him.

((*I do not care what size you are, or what hang ups you might have about your weight, if this man can hold up a collapsing ceiling, he can carry you across y’alls apartment))

“Ok, I have physically seen you putting food and water into your body, you can go back to your cave now.”

This happens at least 2-3 times a week

He is concerned. Just humor him and let him love you.

Jason is 100% the type to be actively learning from anything you tell him

Some nights, when the insomnia and the nightmares decide to double team him, he’ll even sit up browsing through your textbooks just to try and understand everything you're doing more.

Tim get’s labeled the nerd of the family a lot, but really Jason would have been the family scholar if he’d had the chance

The second bedroom in your apartment is both your office and his library. That shit is floor to ceiling.

With that in mind he is always more than happy to be a sounding board when you need him to. Listen to what you’ve got, argue the other side if necessary

Dear god, just know what you’re getting into there… he lives for that kind of stuff, and he will come prepared. This is one of his all time favorite games, that comes second only to aggravating the living shit out of you (which, if he’s lucky, will be a bonus here)

95% of the time, Jason has got this, got you - focus on your school babe, I’ll take care of it… but that 5%? That bit where he’s not actually infallible? He so very desperately doesn’t want you to see that.

What you’re doing is important, and he doesn’t want the fact he had a rough night to be a distraction for you. This is where you enter a bit of a balancing act…

As much as you may want to put everything aside and take care of him, that is the fastest way to make him shut down.

Instead, grab a textbook and a highlighter. Go ‘make yourself some tea’ and pour him a mug too. Set everything up in the living room and drag him onto the couch with you.

Put his head in your lap, and just run your fingers through his hair while you do some reading.

Bonus points if you put a blanket over him

Poor baby is gonna melt in an instant and be out cold before you know it. Just keep playing with his hair and let him sleep.

And do not mention it if he is emotional when he wakes up… he’s never going to be good/get used to receiving love and affection. Do it anyway, and don’t make a big deal about it.

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood imagine #batfam #reader insert #requests

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skittlespizza · 1 year

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Ram from Re:Zero has to be one of my favorite portrayals of disability, I haven't gotten to Arc 6 but my friend showed me the part where it's displayed what Ram feels all the time and holy shit. Do I feel that.

Apparently a lot of people don't even realize Ram is a diaabled character, looking it up online leads to very very little about her as disabled rep. So I'll say it here. Ram is an amputee (her horn) who has Chronic Pain & Chronic Fatigue. She is disabled.

As someone who has such dehabiltating chronic pain, I have to use mobility aids almost every single day, Ram literally displays a condition like that in spades. This might be a bit of a nonsensical 3-AM type ramble but she's on my mind.

I tend to lose patience quicker than other people because of my body aching all the time and Ram, being the sassy, kinda bitchy asshole really fits this feeling as a disabled person. When you're in constant pain of course you're grouchy and it's a lot easier to let out that grouchiness in a playful way. I don't know if this was purposeful but either way it really really works. We need more mean disabled characters tbh.

Next is her being "useless." Subaru makes fun of her for not doing anything, and she takes the teasing in good fun. However, if/when Subaru takes it too far, the people who care about her are willing to stand up for her. Ram is disabled, she has little to no energy, she literally can't clean because it's exhausting and tiring and painful. I can relate to that as well, hell, I go to a special school because I am too tired and in too much pain to do normal amounts of schoolwork. So Ram being unable to do things like clean and cook, but still being valued speaks so much to disabled people who can't function alone!

Ram needing treatment every night... god. Having to take medication every single day as a disabled person is exhausting and forgetting to take it just once completely dehabilitates you. Ram needing treatment every night is literally the equivalent to magical daily medication.

Ram also using her wand as a mobility aid... that's not even a metaphor or allegory.

Yet despite all her shortcomings, her disability, she's loved and appreciated for the things she can do. She's respected and cared for and no one really looks down on her for being unable to do magic or simple tasks. (In the Movie, she even sleeps in and is affected by the cold more than anyone else. I don't know if this was on purpose, but that's also a thing people with chronic pain/fatigue deal with...) She's intelligent, loyal, clever, witty, bitchy but in a likeable way, and most of all. She's appreciated for her steamed potatoes.

Anyways this was my ted talk. Do you all realize Ram as the disabled rep she is...

#ram #re:zero #re zero #rezero #Re:Zero − Starting Life in Another World #rem #subaru #natsuki subaru

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 1 year

Text

Mise en Place 1

Warnings: noncon, coercion, manipulation. Proceed with caution.

Note: thanks all for reading and I hope you’re excited for this one. All feedback is more than welcome and loved and appreciated. Reblogs are most helpful.

Part of The Club AU

You place the final sparkling glass on the cart and give a tiny smile at the accomplishment. Your work isn't particularly complicated or glamorous. As eager singles and lively coeds wait outside to invade the downtown club, you work tirelessly to ready the place; clean the dishes, sweep and mop the floors, vacuum the coatroom…

The work is draining but simple. You don't mind it so much. You mostly hide in the shadows and get it done, take your check, and retreat to your singulsr existence. Your co-workers more than make up for your invisibility.

You can hear the booming voice of the bartender as he chats with the other. His voice tends to carry over most other noises, even the music when its thrumming from the subwoofers. You always hear him coming whereas you are ever unnoticed by others.

Sonny, the cook, chops at the cutting board, the air vibrant with the the aromas of his simmering pans. The private rooms are ready for their guests, most of the plates will be sent there. Everything has its place in the club; the burly blond behind the bar, Sonny at the stove, and you wherever a mess arises.

"Glasses," the door swings inward, startling you as you carry the used utensils and bowls from Sonny's station to the sink, "ah, perfect."

Thor, the bartender, strides over, his immense size making the space feel even smaller. Yourself too.

He nears and grabs the handle on the cart. You barely have time to react as he lurches it too sharply. One of the highball glasses slides off and shatters on the floor as he stops. You barely keep several others from following suit.

"Oh, apologies," he grins guiltily at the glass shards.

"Thor, if you're not in here stealing apps, you're trashing the place," Sonny guffaws.

"I didn't mean to," the bartender says defensively, "I'll clean it–"

"I got it," you're quicker than him as you grabs the broom from where you left it, "no worries."

A hum catches in his throat as you return to the cart and slowly roll it towards him. He backs up with your careful advance. He grips the handle and slowly pulls it with him, this time making a show of doing so cautiously.

"No worries," he echoes you, "thank you."

He wheels backward through the door as you turn to sweep up the scattered glass. Sonny grunts as a pan hisses. He tuts as he sprinkles spice into one.

"Bozo, that one is," he chuckles, "makes a mean cocktail despite having the grace of a newborn elephant."

You nod and say nothing. You don't know Thor well, you see him around, like most of the other employees. Bottle girls, servers, bouncers. You only ever see Sonny or the other chef, Enid, often. Neither really seems to mind you and talk more to fill the dearth than make friends.

"Lucky his brother runs the place or he'd be paying for all the nachos. Never knew a man who could eat so much. Good guy but… insatiable."

You listen without response. The crotchety chef is used to that. You almost think he prefers it. He doesn't argue with you like he does the bottle girls or posture as he does around the bouncers. Especially the big one, August.

You scoop up the glass in the dustpan and dumb it in a box formerly used for the ready to serve cans. You set it with the recycle and go back to the task of scouring the dishes. Sonny whistles along to the softly buzzing radio, soon to be replaced with the coursing of modern pop music.

Employees drift in and out; servers bitching, bottle girls grabbing tall bottles, and a shuffle you can't keep order of.

The DJ puts on the first track and signals opening. You put your ear plugs in then, it's a bit too loud for your brain to focus. You linger in the kitchen, you'll sneak out to collect empty glasses once the place is a bit fuller.

Sonny sends his first apps and slips the pack of smokes from his front pocket. He signals that's he's going for his usual break and you nod as you go to peek through the window. Servers take the trays and crumple tickets as you look past them.

The flashing of colored lights reflect off sparkling outfits and add definition to attractive faces. You were never the club type. Never had much of a chance. No school, no parties, just work.

"Goddamn," Thor blusters in, the door bouncing off the metsl corner of the counter, "Loki… always…"

He stops his grumbling as the door shuts and reveals you just on the other side. He gives a sheepish grin and you stand dumbly watching him. You probably should try to look busy.

"Tequila," he declares, "I missed it in inventory."

You quick push away from the counter and beat him to the storage room. You're not sure what kind he needs but you recall an empty one with the gold cap. You grab that and come back to the doorway as he nears. He almost jumps back, as if he didn't expect you.

"Oh, fawn, you scared me," he smiles, his blue eyes gleaming, "ah, you are exactly what I need."

He takes the tequila from you and raises it to read the label.

"Clever," he muses, "perhaps you might do me another favour."

You stare at him. Well, you won't have much to do for a while. You nod.

"It'll only be me tonight," he declares, "so, I need some help. You would only need to be my assistant. Hand me bottles and glasses…"

"Oh, I don't… know if I–"

"You will not get any trouble for it, hm? I will speak to my brother should he try to give any. Besides, I am rather desperate."

He sticks his lip out, just a little, just enough to tweak your heart. It might not be wise to say no to the brother of the owner.

"Just for a little," you permit, "okay?"

#dark thor #thor #dark!thor #thor x reader #drabble #au #series #mise en place #mcu #marvel #avengers

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beanghostprincess · 11 months

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reiju being the only vinsmoke child that has feelings and can empathize is pretty much obviously referencing the whole "unlike boys, girls are emotional" thing that has always been said to disregard women's positions of power and strengths, assuming that empathy is not a strength itself.

from men's pov, girls are: emotional, weak, sensitive, empathetic... they're the ones doing the "simple" house tasks like cooking, cleaning, taking care of things instead of destroying them.

that sounds, kind of, exactly to what sanji is. sanji's "failures, weaknesses, malfunctions..." are literally what is expected to see in women.

they tell him to man up. to be stronger. to stop crying because boys don't cry. how could he cry?! how could he dream?! how could he cook and be nice to others and feel? how could he be a good person when he's a man and men are expected to be bigger than anyone else. he should take up space, not give it to the ones who need it. he should scream at the top of his lungs, deeply and loudly, not gently. he should take and take and take and he should not give because men are meant to own, not to offer. he shouldn't be clever, he should act. he shouldn't be sad or in pain because men are supposed to take it and swallow and bear with it. he shouldn't be hungry. hunger is for the people who lack food and if you lack food you're weak and if you're weak you're not a man. and lack means wanting, but why's he craving something when he should just take it and take it and take it? so he shouldn't eat because eating is meant to be for pleasure only, if you're a man, and if you need it you're weak because he shouldn't need. he should want and take and never need.

he cries when they kick him and he begs when they take someone away from him. because he's weak. because he loses and loses and loses and never wins only because he isn't man enough to cheat. he goes through life asking first, acting second. he doesn't play dirty, like a man should, but lives in a clean state of pureness and delicacy. he has to be clean to cook, of course. clean to be good. but men don't cook and they are allowed to be as bad as they want. but he isn't, is he? because he feels. and feels and feels until it's too much. so much that it explodes and it breaks and his soul shatters. soul that he shouldn't have in the first place because men are a fortress with enough strength to ignore what's inside. and he is weak. he is small. he is hungry.

god, he's so hungry. but not for power or money or women- well, he is hungry for women. for their soothing voices and soft touches and angry glances that are always a bit too much for his poor heart to handle. he never asks much, just a bit of them. crumbs to feed his starving heart. he finds comfort in women the same way a man destined to death would consume his last meal. he's on the verge of falling but he can't, because men do not fall, they are the ones to push. so he's hungry, but he doesn't eat because if he did, that would mean he needs it and then he wouldn't be a man.

men should fight and not defend, but he's always protecting and never fighting. he fights to protect, never himself, always others. he fights to defend his weak self, but it can't be called fighting when the only thing he does is taking. and he learns to take it without a single word or prayer escaping his lips because a man should not do that.

he's different. a failure. a mistake. a good for nothing. not a man. not powerful like a vinsmoke should be. not godly and royal like his family is. machines built to kill and destroy and take and take instead of living. but sanji likes living. he likes breathing and eating and smiling and feeling and giving and giving and giving until he doesn't have anything to offer. he likes being alive and feeling.

so he has to be human, if not only a malfunction in their mom's womb.

human, but not quite, because being human means being like the rest. the definition for human is "not a vinsmoke", in his perception, so he has to be. he is. he is human. he wishes to be, at least, part of the mankind.

man. man. a man. that's what he should be. that's what he is. vinsmoke men are not just men. they're men. and being only a man should be different, but it isn't. it will never be.

he is human, but not really. he's not a vinsmoke, that's for sure. but he's not human, either, he's still different.

because when he gets out of there, the fire of the stove still burns his hands. and he can cook. yes. he realizes he can cook and he can enjoy and live and give and give and it's liberating to know he can and will live. but he can't dream because dreaming of impossible things —like blue, deep, magic seas— isn't meant for rational men. he's following the recipe wrong, all over again, and he doesn't know what the hell is going on if all the ingredients are right.

then he is hungry again. hungry for life. and food, too. and he has never felt weaker and less of a vinsmoke, but more of a human. he bleeds and cries and begs and starves like any human would and yet... he isn't a man. he isn't a real person. and maybe it's still in his blood, despite having ran away, the malfunction in his veins. there is something deeply wrong with him. down to his core.

and he can't figure out what, but he can starve. so that means he's human. but he's not a man. because men don't starve. they take what life gives them and don't need to eat if they can't. zeff is strong and wide and the manliest man he has ever met. and yet he's hungry, but he doesn't eat. he doesn't eat because he gives. he gives food to a kid who doesn't even deserve to eat. he gives food to a kid, not a man, because if he was a man he wouldn't need to eat.

so he just needs to grow up and become a man, he thinks. that's it. time. time. that's what he lacks and what he should take. years.

but he doesn't become a man.

he grows fond of women as years pass by. they're gorgeous. pieces of art. delicate, emotional, calculative, strategic, pretty, soothing, and perfect in every way. they're everything a vinsmoke shouldn't be. they're everything sanji is- wants to be. he isn't like them. he is a man.

he likes watching them and giving them the pleasures he's refused of, because at least he gets to taste the other end of the stick when dreaming about impossible things turns out to be something too emotional for him to handle as the man he has become.

skirts. dresses. high heels. make up.

it must be hard to fight in those. that's why men don't wear them. because men are meant to fight. girls are meant to just exist. they give peace and love to a world full of destruction just by breathing, they don't need to do anything in order to give.

nami's ruthless. like a storm. and pretty, obviously, like a faint, calm rain. gorgeous and bright, like the sun. and she's feminine in such a strong way that it makes sanji shiver and get on his knees quicker than any woman has ever done. because she's different, too. she's a girl but she's not a girl. and she's not a man but she's more of a man than sanji could ever be in a million years, he realizes, because she's not afraid. and men shouldn't be afraid.

sanji always is. he just doesn't show. showing emotions is a cry for help and boys don't- men don't cry.

she's a girl without being like any other girls. so that means sanji can be a man without being exactly like the rest.

and yet, he's still not a man.

because dresses aren't meant or men, and still he can easily run wearing high heels without any problem. and they feel good, too, not because they fit in but because they fit him. they match the dress and the lip gloss. the world used to be black and white but now it's fucking pink and it makes him feel good and brave and strong and he's not afraid.

then the world shatters again. pops like those bubbles again. and again. like the day he lost himself to the pleasurable feeling of comfort he's been fighting his whole life. because he's a man and comfort means not being able to handle pain. and he fought pain that day until he gave in to his desires. but desiring something is only a thing men can afford, and he didn't actually desire it. he needed it. needs it to breathe and to laugh and to live. needs it because he can't handle pain and if he can't handle pain he's not a man.

so he goes back to hiding and wanting and giving and giving but without needing. and he doesn't take, because he's not a vinsmoke, but he is a man, because he only eats the crumbs women throw at him.

it's raining when he hears it, and he can't help thinking about nami. ruthless, strong, gorgeous and feminine nami.

pudding wouldn't. nami wouldn't.

he wouldn't marry himself either, if asked.

and there's gotta be something wrong with him. something that doesn't work. because he's not a vinsmoke but he's not a man and he's not human and he's not even a failure. he isn't a failure because his mom said so. and if someone as honest and good and kind and feminine as her said that, it has to be true.

and yet he's not a man. he looks at himself from far away. he's always seen himself like that. like a soul flying around an empty body. a shell.

and then it breaks.

it's still raining.

luffy is beautiful. and he is a man. but just like nami isn't a girl, luffy isn't a man.

because he dreams, bigger than anybody else. he shines, brighter than the sun. he feels, louder than any woman. he fights, with his whole heart and fists and punches way harder than any vinsmoke. and he's hungry. luffy's hungry due to a promise. a promise lead by loyalty and love and passion and everything sanji wishes he could let himself feel.

the thing is, luffy can feel all of those and still be a man.

if sanji feels, he won't be a man. nor a vinsmoke.

niji called him girl once. because he cried. and the punches hurt, but for some reason the thought of being allowed to feel if he were to be a woman made the wound heal faster.

luffy sees him cry.

and dream and wish and ask and beg and break.

and he's trying to give, but luffy is asking him to take and be selfish. he wonders if taking something for himself will turn him into a man, finally.

but he cries again.

"i want to go back to sunny."

and he's not a vinsmoke. nor a man.

he isn't sure exactly what he is.

and then luffy says: "that's just how you are!" about him being too kind for his own good and too empathetic for him to be considered a man.

luffy smiles when he says it, as if it was the most brilliant quality of the cook.

he's not a vinsmoke. he's not a man.

sanji lets himself dream about what he could be. lets himself feel what he truly is.

he has never liked feeling weak because that's just what women are supposed to be. delicate and soft and meant to be rescued by the prince he should be.

luffy looks at him like he's the most beautiful thing to ever be under the rain. dirty and messy and crying and shattered. but still beautiful. and clean. and pure. and soothing. and everything a woman is and everything he wants to be and everything he could be.

and it's a very complex recipe and perhaps he still lacks some ingredients and maybe he could use less of others and let it cook for a bit longer.

but it tastes good. to dream. to feel. to exist. not like a mistake but as a human.

as herself.

#what is thissss #it's 4 am and i'm still awake writing this bc i had a sanji kinnie breakdown #this was supposed to be a 'reiju has feelings bc she's a girl and so that's like a metaphor for transfem sanji'#but as you can see i got a bit carried away #i'm not reading all of this again if you find any typos just ignore them #i love transfem sanji wholeheartedly #she's so important to me #genderfluid any pronouns sanji my beloved #one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #monkey d luffy #lusan #lusan?? kind of??? the last things are very lusan and i did it thinking about them romantically #whole cake island

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inkblackorchid · 1 year

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Hit me with your favorite 5Ds headcanons 👀

Okay so I’ve used/alluded to some of these in my fics already, but that’s just because I love them that much (also it was really hard deciding which are my favourite headcanons):

Crow swears the most out of the boys, but has an almost supernatural ability to completely shut his swearing off the second children are around (unless he’s really flustered)

Though I’ve kinda hinted at something like it before, Jack isn’t actually the worst cook at the Poppo Time. Bruno is. Because Jack knows what good food is supposed to taste like (having been a star duellist for a while and all) and can reasonably guess how to approximate those flavours—he just doesn’t cook because he doesn’t have the patience to learn any technique whatsoever (or clean up after himself when he’s done). Meanwhile, Bruno just can’t cook. Straight up. It’s not a matter of wanting or not wanting to, if you try tasking this man with anything more difficult than preparing cup ramen he will burn something. Guaranteed.

Bruno and Yusei don’t have the same mechanical skillset. Bruno is almost 100% specialised only to runners, and at that, he’s slightly better than Yusei. But Yusei’s advantage is that he knows how to fix almost everything else (provided it’s mechanical and/or electronic), too.

All three of the Satellite boys actually know how to sew a bit. Martha taught them how to mend their own clothes. The quality of their seams varies (Crow’s are the neatest because he got a lot of practice from mending his kids’ stuff, too), but they all know how to sew tears shut and mend holes.

Aki isn’t as good a gardener as one would believe with her plant theme. She likes gardening a great deal, but doesn’t have a lot of experience outside of house plants. So she could decently keep a garden alive, but would never be able to maintain something like, say, a bonsai collection or a bed of prize roses, despite her love for the activity.

I’ve written a whole post about this already, but I still adore it, so: Satellite natives, post reunion with the city, are the bane of brand phone store workers’ existence. They want everything fixed, not replaced, and trying to explain to them why that would be too complicated (whether contrived or not) usually results in them not paying a single cent and going something like “oh, forget it, I’ll just give it to the neighbour’s boy, he’ll take care of this”. This includes Yusei, who usually just ends up fixing his own stuff, and especially Crow, who has already nearly gotten in a fistfight with some tech company’s store manager upon hearing the supposed price of a repair/replacement on more than one occasion before. (He obviously just ends up handing his stuff over to Yusei, too, in the end.)

Maybe my favourite headcanon: As TCG fans know, the manga versions of the signer dragons were printed as the duel dragons. In-universe, I imagine the duel dragons were also printed—as commercial, publicly available retrains of the signer dragons, who are supposed to be one of a kind in canon. (I also use this headcanon to justify why the signers have support cards tailored specifically to their dragons—they were printed to go with the duel dragons in-universe, but allow usage with the original signer dragons as well.)

Rua/Leo isn’t actually that bad at school. He’s just not very disciplined when it comes to studying because he’d rather keep polishing up his deck.

Ruka/Luna owns several duel monsters plushies. Her favourite is, of course, her Kuribon plushie.

Carly is really good at clocking people’s vibes and figuring out their character quickly. The caveat is that this only works when she meets them face to face.

#yugioh 5ds #oh god do I really tag everyone #well maybe the main players #yusei fudo #crow hogan #aki izayoi #jack atlas #akiza izinski #rua (5ds)#ruka (5ds)#headcanons #I feel like I could write a hundred more but I don’t want this to get too long #I have so many headcanons you have no idea #ask the orchid #thank youuuu this was fun

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dathomirdumpsterfire · 9 months

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roundtable writing : open group : reblog with your addition in a below the cut : go off : add characters and ocs : blow up canon : 🔥🔥🔥 : flash fiction

ch 1 (written by dathomirdumpsterfire)

You own a diner in the lower levels of coruscant, one that never closes. It's a few hundred stories below the surface, just far enough down to be a little rough and tumble. Your little business is hard work, but good work. Steady.

One night like any other a young zabrak walks in, looking around the seating space with glittering gold eyes beneath a heavy hood.

You seat him and ask if he'd like anything to drink besides water. The answer is no.

You leave him with a menu and go to snag that yourself. It's three in the morning, so there's only you, your chef-droid, and this guy. You come back with that water, and ask him what he'd like to eat.

He prevaricates, stoic, and you get the hint he's a bit unsure of himself. That's not uncommon, with a mixed species menu as eclectic as yours. You know what zabraks like to eat though, so you offer a few choice options.

He picks the second one. It's a simple dish, and you ask your droid to cook it up while you idle around doing clean up and organization tasks.

When you deliver his food the zabrak politely thanks you. He eats everything on the plate without taking off his hood, pays, tips well, and disappears. You don't make much note of the visit, anymore than you'd make note of another.

The guy comes back though, three nights later, and asks for another recommendation.

Again you give him some suggestions. He picks one, eats it and disappears.

When he wanders in at late night a third time, you start to take notice. Regulars are what keep you afloat after all. This trend continues too, until one day you realize you only have a single recommendation off the menu for him left. He's tried everything else his species might like, though he's never expressed his opinion on the result.

Well. He clearly liked to try new things, so you do some research that very day, and have three more options ready for his next visit. You don't even bring the menu this time.

This trend continues, week after week, month after month. Every few days the red and black stranger comes in, picks a dish, pays generously, and leaves. You don't know his name, though he's always formal and polite, just not one for conversation.

That is, until one day he comes in smelling of blood and shivering, his steps slow and unsteady...

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ch 2 (written by @krazykupidspoems)

The blood staining his careful steps is the second thing you notice. You yell for the chef droid to bring the med-pak. It's meager but you will do what you can to help. Some bacta bandages, wrap bandages, a needle, and thread for temp stitching (never been used thank the Gods).

You rush to the Zabrak to stabilize his steps. He's as heavy as he looks you note as he accepts the assistance in walking.You brush the thought away and lead him to the attached owner's suite. It's small but you haven't much choice, enforcers wouldn't do anything but direct the man to a med speeder. And he came to you.

So yes you will help even as his two still beating hearts inexplicably speed up at the sight of your small room.

Colorful tapestries made by your grandmother's hand frame the rough ramshackle bed that was shoved against the wall. The quilts for when the blackouts start are hidden beneath the bed. Your thin sheets that probably should have been thrown out years ago cover the bed now.

Well after tonight they will be thrown or perhaps burned.

You guide the Zabrak to sit on the bed careful of the side he is obviously favoring.

The Zabrak takes in a sharp breath as he sits and shakily lets it out through his mouth. A quiet whine building deep in his chest.

Oh, that's not good...

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ch 3 (written by @mcu-supersoldiers)

The third thing you notice, after the blood, is how warm he is when you help him sit. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. You seem to recall hearing somewhere that Zabraks ran warmer than your own species. Some holodrama celebrity interview or something. It would probably be much more concerning if he was cold, you reason to yourself.

Your hands hover helplessly, afraid to touch more until the droid comes back with the med-kit. The sound coming from him was clearly one of pain, and he held himself stiffly, as if afraid of jostling whatever injury his dark cloak and clothes were hiding.

"Look, I uh- I know we ain't been real personal-like, when you've been coming in. But um. Well, I mean... Gotta see where you're bleeding." You trip over your words in embarrassment.

There was a professional distance you kept with your customers. Sure, you might get to know the chatty ones. Hells, you even went on a date or two with a couple that were bold enough to ask. But you don't touch them. You don't take their clothes off. In your room. This was crossing all sorts of boundaries.

"Do what you must." He replied, his voice breathy, from behind gritted teeth.

You nod, and peel his cloak away from his body. You could see a few tears in it. And more in his clothes. And... you swallow hard.

His left leg has a large shard of what looks like transparisteel embedded high in the meat of his thigh, near his hip. There are smaller pieces and what looks like honest-to-small-gods wood dug into his side and leg. His black clothes hid how badly he must have been bleeding. The transparisteel or whatever it was glittered strangely in the low yellow light of your living unit.

"Oh dear." Your droid exclaims from behind you, making you jump. It hands you a pair of small but sharp scissors.

Your hands tremble slightly as you cut open first the side of his shirt, then his loose fitting pants almost down to the knee.

You knew his skin was red and black. He never took off his hood when he ate at your diner, but you'd caught enough glances. It was quite different to see ALL of that red and black. Red wasn't a common color for a Zabrak, outside of some high fashion holos you'd seen. Nor was the stark black of his markings, the zabraks you'd met personally leaning towards brown on brown, or perhaps browns over more muted oranges and yellows. This was... well, 'STRIKING' didn't quite do it justice.

You scold yourself. The man was bleeding from multiple shrapnel wounds, and you couldn't stop the tingling flush you can feel rising in your cheeks from seeing so much of his skin.

So much of his muscle. You had known he was fit, under that cloak. Something about the way he moved... gliding through your diner to his regular booth. It made something in your baser instincts warn 'predator!'. You'd learned to ignore that fear reaction, after a couple of years. Lots of people in the lower levels were like that. Kinda rough, kinda dangerous. But they very, very rarely came to your establishment looking for anything other than a meal.

So, you wondered... what in the hells could hurt a man that your instincts told you was plenty dangerous in his own right??

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🔥🔥🔥 reblog with your chapter! 🔥🔥🔥

ao3 link in the comments

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tabitha42 · 4 months

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The Wizard's Apprentice - Chapter 17

Saffron is just a lowly apprentice with barely a successful firebolt to her name. So what chance does she have with the arch mage she's slowly falling in love with?

Gale x Tav, slow burn, eventual smut

Chapter 1 Previous chapter Next chapter

After a long, philosophical discussion, it was decided to let Shadowheart stay. Even though she clearly had a very different outlook on life to the rest of the group, she posed them no threat, and they all knew they needed her.

Eventually the subject moved back to the day’s events and onto the plan for the next day. It was decided that Wyll, Lae’zel, Shadowheart and Astarion would head to Ethel’s house. Lae'zel had said she wanted to see the looks on their face when they realised that this was yet another waste of time.

After dinner, Saff helped Gale clear away the cooking supplies as the group retired.

“You know, I think it’s unfair that the ones who did the cooking should also have to clean up. We should get some of the others to do it today,” she complained.

“As much as I wholeheartedly agree with you, I think convincing some of the others of that might be difficult,” Gale said with a chuckle. “Besides, the washing up doesn’t take that long.”

“That’s true… but if we leave now, we’d be able to watch the sunset,” she said with a playful smile. The sun was just beginning to dip below the trees, and their usual spot further down the river would give a beautiful view as the river stretched out west.

“Hmm… you make a good point… I’m sure Wyll and Karlach would be willing to take the cleaning up for today,” he said with a smile, looking forward to sharing such a view with her.

A sudden wind whipped at their robes. They ignored it at first, until another gust of wind so strong it nearly blew them off their feet swept through the camp. The rest of the group were taken by surprise too, wondering if a sudden storm was brewing, until they saw black tendrils of smoke blowing along the ground. The tendrils began to converge at a single point and the smoke grew, a strong charge of magic in the air. Anyone standing near it stumbled back as the smoke formed a circle that suddenly burst into flames, and a figure of what appeared to be some sort of black ooze began to rise out of the portal.

The group watched in shock and confusion as this played out before them - all but one, who had known this was coming and had been dreading it.

Wings suddenly unfurled from the figure and the ooze coalesced into the form of a devil.

Gale and Saff had spoken before about the lives of warlocks, bound by an unbreakable contract. Saff was horrified now to see first hand the consequences of breaking that contract.

Before they knew what was happening Wyll was left forever transformed, and with another flash of magic and fire the devil disappeared, leaving camp in silence once more.

“Wyll! Gods, are you alright??” Karlach gasped, running to his side, trying to look at him but forcing herself to remember not to touch him.

“I… by the Hells, what has she done to me…” he whispered, looking at his hands. He turned them over, seeing the ribs and markings in his skin.

“I swear, next time I see her I’ll remove that smug head from her neck!” Karlach swore angrily, clenching her fists, her fires starting to burn hotter.

“Careful, Karlach,” Gale warned. “Save that rage for when she’s here next.”

She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself down, but it was no easy task.

“So… what exactly just happened?” Astarion asked, still at a bit of a loss as to what he just watched.

“That was Mizora. My patron,” Wyll explained with a deep sigh. “I vowed to slay Karlach. I broke that vow - and this is my punishment. She has turned me into one of her own. A devil.”

“You’re a devil now?” Astarion asked, sounding a bit too excited for just about anyone else’s liking. “Do you have a devil’s powers, too?”

“No. Just the appearance of one,” Wyll explained.

“Oh. A pity.” The glare Wyll gave Astarion at that moment could have killed, and it was only made worse by the red and black eye he now had. Even Astarion flinched at the glare, but Wyll sighed and looked away before he took the threat any further.

“Gods damn her back to the Hells!” he growled, deciding to turn his anger against her rather than Astarion. “I did what was right, and she made me pay for it. I’d be hunting devils and demons, she said. Traitors and hypocrites. But not… not Zariel’s victims. Not innocent tieflings.”

He shook his head, looking down sadly.

“Wyll…” Karlach said quietly, her rage turning to sadness as she saw the pain in his eyes. “I… I don’t know what to say. Other than thank you. No one’s ever stuck their neck out for me like that before. And… sorry…”

“Don’t apologise, please. This isn’t your fault,” he said quickly. “If this is what it takes to see you escape Zariel safely, then so be it.”

Karlach smiled, touched by his kindness. She knew that it wasn’t specifically for her, of course, he would make such a sacrifice for anyone innocent. And that made her like him even more.

Saff and Gale joined her in staying with Wyll after that, comforting him and listening as he spoke of all he could regarding his history with Mizora. He admitted he didn’t want to go back to the grove tomorrow, fearing how the others would react. Karlach offered to take his place instead, which he thanked her for. They suggested that maybe Halsin would have some way of helping him tomorrow when he arrived at camp, though they all knew that was even less likely than him being able to help with the tadpoles.

It was late by the time Wyll decided to call it a night. He thanked them deeply for being there for him - he wasn’t sure how well he’d have handled this had he not had such good friends to help him through it. Gale and Saff spoke to Karlach for a bit afterwards, about how she still couldn't believe he did that, how grateful she was, how happy she was to be travelling with someone like him. Eventually she headed off for bed too, saying that even though tomorrow should be a reasonably easy day if all they need to do is talk to Auntie Ethel, she should still make sure to get some rest anyway.

Gale and Saff slowly walked back to their tents. The camp was quiet now, the fire down to just the embers, moonlight illuminating the river. It was beautiful, but neither could appreciate it right now, their mood heavy with the knowledge of Wyll’s suffering.

“I suppose we’d better get some sleep too,” Gale said as they reached their tents. “Sorry we didn’t have time for a lesson tonight,” he said, knowing she’d been looking forward to that as much as he had been.

“I’m sure we’ll have time tomorrow,” she said with a small smile, trying to find some hope in their current bleak situation. “Though… I want to stay with Wyll as much as we can. He’s clearly struggling.” “I agree,” he said with a nod. “I can’t imagine what he’s going through. We need to be there for him.”

They heard footsteps next to them and were taken by surprise by Astarion, who seemed to appear out of the darkness. Even when he wasn’t trying to be stealthy he couldn’t seem to help it.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he said, sounding… somewhat sincere. “Saff, I… was hoping to take you up on your offer.”

Gale narrowed his eyes slightly.

“You want to feed on her?”

“Well, Wyll had originally offered, but… it feels a bit impolite to ask him now,” he explained. Gale sighed, reluctantly agreeing with that logic.

“Wyll offered?” Saff asked in surprise. “I thought you were only going to feed on people staying in camp?”

“Yes, well, that came down to Gale, whose blood is poisoned, Karlach, whose blood is on fire, and you, who gave me blood last time. He didn’t want you to have to do it twice.”

Saff felt a pang of guilt knowing that Wyll had offered his blood so she didn’t have to, especially when he’d potentially have had to fight while dealing with the consequences. Gale had similar thoughts, and was cursing his affliction that he couldn’t take some of the burden himself.

“Alright, let’s get on with it then,” she said, turning to head to her tent.

Inside the tent they set up her bed roll and a few furs and blankets, which she lay down on. Astarion knelt to one side, while Gale knelt on the other, there to make sure he didn’t get carried away again.

“Ready?” Astarion asked. She felt Gale take her hand, and gently squeezed his hand in thanks.

“Ready,” she confirmed.

Astarion leant down, lingering over her neck for a moment, before she felt the pain again. It didn’t get any easier the second time, just as sudden and intense. She squeezed Gale’s hand hard and let out a whimper of pain, then felt as he began drinking.

Gale watched carefully. He could feel her squeezing his hand, knowing how much this hurt. Astarion drank, and just as Gale had been about to tell him to stop, he pulled away.

“Ahh! Wonderful,” he said, licking his blood-stained lips. “Thank you, again.”

Gale pressed a cloth to Saff’s neck as she opened her eyes and looked up at Astarion, giving him a small smile to say he was welcome.

“I will leave you to rest. See you both in the morning,” he said, then stood up and left the tent.

Saff closed her eyes again, waiting for the worst of the nausea to wear off. She felt Gale clean up her neck and put the cloth aside.

“I’d best be off too, let you get some sleep.”

She looked up at him, her head spinning slightly. It felt not too dissimilar to being drunk, though less pleasant. Given what she said next though, it seemed to have the same effect on her inhibitions.

“You could stay…”

He looked at her in surprise. Gods, he wanted to say yes. Every single fibre of his being was screaming at him to say yes. But he knew he couldn’t. Not only because of the orb (that even now simmered threateningly in his chest at just the thought of spending the night by her side), but it was clear from the way she spoke that she wasn’t exactly fully with it - her speech a bit slurred, a slightly glazed over look in her eyes. Had this been from alcohol he certainly would feel it wouldn’t be right to say yes, and delirium from blood loss felt like it shouldn’t be treated any differently.

“A tempting offer… but we both need to rest, and I fear we’d be up talking all night if I stayed here.”

She looked at him with an upset, almost pleading look, which took all his willpower to resist.

“Another night,” he promised her. That finally brought a smile to her lips.

“Another night,” she confirmed. She looked so beautiful in that moment, smiling up at him, illuminated by the soft moonlight through the tent door. He could feel the orb stirring as he let himself get lost in her beauty, reminding him of the consequences if he didn’t leave, but he wanted to stay just a moment more. He still held her hand, and gently he lifted it up and pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles. He saw her face light up with both surprise and happiness as he did that, and he wasn’t sure if the rush of excitement he was feeling himself was from the kiss or from seeing her reaction.

“Goodnight, Saff,” he said softly, holding her hand there just a moment more, before finally lowering it back down to the bed and leaving the tent. Once outside, he took a deep breath to calm the orb that now burnt inside his chest. He knew the orb had reacted to strong negative emotions before, but he was now sure it reacted to strong positive emotions, too. He just hadn’t had any positive emotions strong enough to make it react before meeting Saff. In that moment though, he didn’t care what the orb tried to do to him. He let himself get lost in thoughts of her as he headed back to his tent.

Saff’s heart fluttered and she felt giddy from excitement. It had been so unexpected, but so sweet and romantic… she almost had to laugh at herself for getting so excited over this, like a teenager getting excited because her crush said hi to her. She let herself feel it though. With all that had been happening to them, they deserved happiness wherever they could find it.

#gale #bg3 gale #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #gale x tav

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annkous · 1 year

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Here we are on lesson 24, also known as: Asmo's Mess.

Solmare's still mean with cliffhangers btw o(-<

Lesson 23 here, where we helped Mammon settle with his Greed and it ended with us seeing Lust/Desire creeping up on Asmo.

We start the lesson with all of them in a RAD classrom with Diavolo announcing they'll be getting a full day of mock classes, taught by... Lucifer. None's happy about it. People get distracted, erasers fly around hitting people and as always, you're caught in the middle of some mess as Asmo passes you a note. Lucifer's not happy, but Asmo's bored out of his mind and just charms Lucifer so he cuts class short.

Not a good sign that he can do that to Lucifer. here's where I wondered if Asmo being able to charm us some lessons prior was due to his growth in power or because we were really weak.

It doesn't end there, though. Asmo immediately puts his charms to work on everyone to do his bidding. He makes Beel stay put as a windshield, he makes Belphie run for drinks, he makes Satan do his homework, Mammon go fetch nailpolish...

You can call him out on what he's doing is wrong, but he's not listening. Asmo tries to use the charm again on Lucifer to make him bark like a dog, but Lucifer being Lucifer, has built up a resistance and is very pissed off at Asmo and the treatment he's giving his brothers.

For some reason I can't comprehend, he's also pissed at the others for not being able to resist Asmo, nor building up a resistance just like he did, and pins the blame on every single soul around.

I think it's a bit of foreshadowing on his own shit coming up, because this makes no sense to me whatsoever. The brothers even call him out on it, but he's not having it. You're all punished with going to take care of Cerberus. That's a gift for me tbh. But goddamn. He's such a dick in this scene. I can think he's worried his brothers are not growing strong enough, but that's not how you do it. He gets no excuse.

Welp, off to go take care of a big dog. You all have to clean and feed him. None wants to be there, not even you, and you can complain about it lol but hey, we're the devilsitter. We have to be with them, even when they're sent to do their punishment.

Down there in the catacombs where Cerberus is, we get the "this menacing growling noise isn't actually Beel's stomach" gag that never gets old to me.

There's some minor complications while doing the Cerberus task, as expected, and Asmo gets fed up. However since it's his fault you're all stuck down there and he's even saying "you should all be grateful to be around me", a full fight ensues where Mammon just snaps at him and says he's not beautiful at all. Asmo immediately goes berserk.

Thankfully, the rest recognize it's the same power/breakdown that had happened to Mammon and try to run, but Asmo charms them all in place. You're the only one who's able to run away, and Asmo's hot on your heels, trying to charm you as well.

Lucifer appears right in the nick of time, just like last time with Mammon, but this time it's not easy for him. Asmo's power is out of control, and not even Lucifer can withstand it this time just like before. He tries to snap Asmo out of it, but it doesn't work.

Lucifer tells you that he won't be able to resist for much longer, and that you should go get Solomon.

You can try and say "no!" to avoid leaving him behind, but knowing how Lucifer thinks, it's better if you just listen to him and go since it's the only way out. If you stay, the time he wins might be for nothing. Look what I'm saying is just say "got it" when he tells you to go to gain some points with him www

Lucifer successfully teleports you away from Asmo and to Cocytus Hall, where Solomon is "cooking" in peace.

PLEASE-

I love Sol to the moon and back but my mc's a disaster gremlin. It was obvious what I was gonna pick. Anyways after almost snapping his neck (deserved /j), he agrees to help, so off you two go back to the House of Lamentation, where things have gotten pretty bad now that Asmo has all the brothers under his charm.

(You can ask about Simeon and Luke for points, and Solomon will tell you that they're at the Demon Lord's Castle, so they're safe. He also texted them to stay the night there for good measure.)

You try reaching out to Asmo, but there's still no change. The brothers, however, do hear you, but they can do nothing. All they do is tell you to run before he gets you, but Asmo hears this and is not happy that, even when they're supposed to be serving him, they're thinking about you.

I loved this confrontation with Asmo. He zeroes on you and the attention the brothers give you. He outright calls you a nuisance, and oh boy, Solomon hears that and immediately springs into action with a smile on his face.

I personally like how unhinged Solomon gets if anyone dares to lay a hand on you. Not even that, this was just an insult. One of my fav changes from the og game to nightbringer. Anyways-

Both go on a full showdown, fighting left and right. Solomon's more weak than usual (as we already know), which is not good considering Asmo's the one with the power boost right now. Solomon tries to subdue Asmo, but it doesn't work, so he decides to do "something I really didn't want to have to do, because know I will get yelled at later."

And he just summons Barbatos, who knows Asmodeus out flat with one hit.

Well, that worked.

After bringing a knocked out Asmo to his room to rest (and ordering everyone else to rest too after being under Asmo's charm) you hear that Barbatos is not happy about being summoned by Solomon, even if it was an emergency, and is making sure Solomon knows about it lmao.

He's also worried his sudden disappearance has scared Luke. You see, it's moments like these that make me think that even if Barbatos is Nightbringer, he's not bad, and I'd trust his reasoning for doing this with my life. He'd still the scolding of a lifetime, though.

Anyways they keep fighting- please stop-

They eventually realize they need Little D. Nº. 5 to help Asmo the same way they've helped Mammon, so off you three go to the Demon's Lord Castle.

Little D. Nº5 is in the Secret Flower Garden, which is not a Fun Place, apparently. But you're willing to go there to save Asmo (yay! points with Asmo AND Solomon ;u; you can tell they care about each other a lot more than they show)

And so we go in with an entourage... made of Barbatos and Solomon. Not a good combo, considering they're in bad terms lmao so off you go again, except it's awkward because they're not talking and we don't seem to like the silence. So we try filling it with talk and then-

THEN-

WE FINALLY GET TO ASK THEM WHY THEY'RE FIGHTING. ONE OF THE BIGGEST NIGHTBRINGER MYSTERIES-

-AAAAAAND HERE ENDS THE LESSON, GIVING US A CLIFFHANGER. I haven't been frustrated with a cliffhanger in this game for a while aaAAAAAAAAAAA UGH. ANYWAYS. We have a video call, but since it's related to a chat you get after finishing hard mode, so I'll put both together at the end.

The extra lesson is right after the charm effects wear off on Lucifer in the class at the beginning of the Lesson. As revenge, he turns Asmo into a frog. I have to admit it was kinda funny, until he turned everyone else into a frog because they were laughing at Asmo.

BITCH WHY?????? WHAT DID I EVEN DO?????? See what I mean when I said he's acting a bit more of an asshole than ususal-

The rest just beg Lucifer to spare you, so he does. But he's not done messing with everyone. He says kissing the frogs is the only way to undo the curse and asks you if you're willing to kiss these frogs to help them...

But the effects wear out on their own, and Lucifer admits he was just joking about needing to kiss them. Satan's the one that looks the most disappointed at the revelation, mind you wwww

The extra scene in hard mode is Simeon with Diavolo, commenting about the Founding Ceremony. Simeon says he can hardly wait, and Diavolo asks about if it would be possible for Michael to attend (!!!) and Simeon answers "he's too lazy to make the trip". I nearly screamed remembering he's been down here already as Raphael just to see Lucifer. I'm gonna cry.

Simeon does think that Michael might come just to see Lucifer. They're really hinting at him attending the Founding Ceremony, so I've got to wonder if he's really gonna show up, or if we're gonna do the Ceremony and THEN he will appear the next season as an exchange student. Simeon also comments that he wasn't the one supposed to come down to the Devildom-Raphael was, but he just begged and begged until he was given permission. He really wanted to see Lucifer so badly ;;

But then they comment on Lucifer and you, and how you two might be really important to the bridge they're trying to form between the Devildom and the Celestial Realm, and just about the Three Realms alltogether.

The scene ends with Luke running at them in a panic because Barbatos has just disappeared on him as they were baking together. Well, we know now at which exact moment this scene takes place lol.

So, the video call that you get at the end of the normal lesson AND the chat you get at the end of the hard mode...

The video call is all the brothers (sans Asmo, because he's conked out) commenting on various things, namely how they're on different rooms in case Asmo wakes up before you manage to grab the Little D. so he can't get to all of them at the same time, how they're worried about you (aw) even if you're with Solomon and Barbatos, and Lucifer with a really soft voice wondering how's Asmo. I'm not biased I swear-uh. Since Asmo's asleep, the brothers joke around about taking revenge about the charm thing, and how painting on his face might do the trick.

Beel, being the voice of reason, (and I'd like to point out he's the voice of reason a lot of times throughout the games, and I don't think it gets addressed enough) tells Lucifer he should stop them...

Incredible.

I enjoyed this call a lot. Every extra voice acting we get is a blessing. I feel like TWST has spoiled me on that regard lol

Then we have the group chat, where the brothers are writing to Asmo for when he wakes up and... well, I'll just show you. I said it was related to the video call, so you can get an idea of what's going on in there. It really made me laugh because I'm always happy to see them act as siblings lol

The chat made everything end in a lighter note for me. You really can't help but love them.

I get that Asmo's problem feels different and more fast-paced because it didn't have the same build-up as Mammon's issue did, but seeing the limited number of lessons we get per season, it's understandable. I'm wondering if they can fit the five remaining brothers' issues and resolutions in the lessons that are left before we reach Lesson 30... They could put Beel and Belphie together to save time, but I feel like Beel deserves a bit more of spotlight so I want him to have his own miniplot here with his Sin.

Looks like we're miles away from the Founding Ceremony still, but we need all the pacts before the date arrives, so I guess it's a good thing lol. Anyways, that's all for the week! And go drink water.

Oh and the new German titles on the normal version cards (which I just put here for the fun of it) are: Bright Elf (Simeon) and Divergent Zwölf (Solomon). Then they go back to Prideful Eins with Lucifer. I kinda wanted to see Raphael, Mephisto and Thirteen, but I guess they don't get any cool German titles yet.

Edit: Lesson 25 is up!!

#Anne plays Obey Me! Nightbringer #Nightbringer spoilers #Asmo you screwed up: the lesson #or I can't believe they gave me This Cliffhanger solmareeeeeEEEEE #obey me!#obey me! nightbringer

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addcests · 3 months

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you. and i :: chapter two: and - ao3 mirror ??? :: series - ao3 link

pairing DBr x Dom

words 642

rating [G]

summary Doom Bringer opens his eyes. - five times doom bringer spends together with dominator. and then one more time.

note what a cute little breakfast together! :3c

Doom Bringer opens his eyes.

This time he looks around and finds himself in the middle of the kitchen, this time Dominator’s arms are secure and snug, locked around his waist in a makeshift hug. Without even looking, Doom Bringer can tell just like that, like second nature, natural. And like natural, he hears his complaint, “I can’t cook if you’re holding onto me like that.”

He knows Dominator will not listen, not when he is like this. Persistent.

But it’s not a bad thing (usually).

So Doom Bringer takes comfort in this too and makes their meal, breakfast most likely, it is Dominator’s favorite. When he looks into the pan, he sees he was making a fried egg, apparently. He sets out to finish this one for Dominator, who likes his eggs to be a little runny.

It’s a bit of a task, what with Dominator refusing to let go of him still, being unusually clingy in a way he hasn’t seen him been since his Mastermind days, but Doom Bringer manages to whip together a filling meal for them both.

He finds himself sitting, with Dominator suddenly serving them both. Last he recalled, he had had the plates in hand, but he supposes Dominator snatched them away. Doom Bringer remains where he is. He wants to protest but finds that he doesn’t.

“Just hold tight,” Dominator calls out, as if he can sense Doom Bringer’s innate need to finish his task. “You already did all of this work, I can… be of help too.”

Doom Bringer always thinks Dominator is plenty helpful. It is why he relies on him, why they’re partners, confidants in one another.

Instead of saying this, he instead finds himself replying, “Thank you, it’s a nice—” Change of pace? “—gesture.”

Well, he doesn’t think he would ever say it like that.

His thoughts begin to wander, but before he could grasp and hold onto a single thought long enough, Dominator slides over and everything he begins to think about fizzes away into nothing. How could he care for anything else, when Dominator is so sweetly looping his arms around his neck, Dominator’s chest to Dominator’s back as Dominator leans down and against the brawler’s chair, resting his chin atop Doom Bringer’s head.

Again, his heart swells with affection for this man above him, and he reaches up. His gloved hand finds Dominator’s cheek and, though it’s a bit of an awkward angle for him, turns so that he can place an equally sweet kiss to his cheek.

Once more, Dominator seems as if he was not expecting that to occur, but he accepts it nonetheless.

“You are awfully cuddly so early in the morning.” (It was morning, wasn’t it?) “How much coffee have you had already,” he playfully accuses. (He doesn’t remember making the coffee, but surely he must have. It is all this infuriating man drinks, after all.)

Dominator peers down at Doom Bringer, smiles, and moves around him to sit opposite him. He prattles off some insane amount of cups and then they eat in comfortable domesticity. Eventually, they finish, dishes are collected, cleaned, put away.

Doom Bringer watches Dominator walk away, leaving the kitchen. He smiles to himself and tags along.

Dominator is already some paces ahead, but the scientist stops long enough to glance over his shoulder. The pause is long enough for one to think Dominator was… waiting for something, his gaze trailing past the brawler, like there was something else that caught Dominator’s eye. He then whirls forward and resumes his stride with a sense of purpose now.

He figures Dominator is off to rush back to some project, like usual.

Hands shoved in his pocket, Doom Bringer does his best to catch up with Dominator before he loses him.

And then, that is the last thing Doom Bringer remembers.

#addcest #dbrdom #doom bringer x dominator #doom bringer (elsword)#dominator (elsword)#my fanfiction #dbr x dom #Doom Bringer/Dominator #domestic breakfast!

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evanoxvt · 4 months

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Having chronic health is a full time job, and is often disabling.

Let's start with the most basic of concepts. A full time job is 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. AKA 40 hours. Chronic health SYMPTOMS are usually 6-7 days a week (because once in a blue moon we get ONE EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD DAY), and are often EVERY WAKING MOMENT, and possibly every sleeping moment too. Sometimes we get a few hour break from our symptoms, but they are generally 24/7.

That in an of itself is far more than a full time job. And we don't get paid for it.

Then you have all the doctor appointments. These take long periods of time, and cost you money. That's a triple negative on your time sheet, you got energy spent on health symptoms, the doctor appointment, AND loosing money you aren't able to make.

So now where do we add in the time for all the little life necessities? It often takes disabled folks much more physical energy and more time to do things like shower or brush teeth because we can get injured and/or fatigued from things like this which normal people do not. Cooking is another time consuming and energy draining task. The amount of time I loose from spending 5 mins cooking instant ramen makes it really not worth it. There's a reason many of us go without food for long periods of time if we do not have a support person doing basic life things for us or with us to ease the burden.

NOW imagine how much MORE energy it takes to do chores, like washing your dishes or laundry. I'm not even talking general cleaning, just the bare necessities here.

Somewhere in there you need the energy to ACTUALLY EAT the food you or someone else made.

If you haven't caught on to the massive amount of energy it takes for us to do these things yet, you probably need to go learn about it elsewhere because I'd like to get to the next portion of this.

We often face medical gaslighting from doctors, and general gaslighting from the rest of the world, especially people who know us well or absolute strangers. People who know you a LITTLE BIT are the most likely to not gaslight you in my experience.

This means for every SINGLE doctor appointment, we have to PROVE there is an issue before we even get to see the doctor.

My most current personal example is meeting my new PCP (of whom I will likely be changing AGAIN due to his fear of dogs and inadequate care related to my service dog being in the room with me). He did a basic physical, looked at my recent labs and test results, and then told me "You are healthy, I cannot find anything wrong with you." That is not acceptable as I was there after having ANOTHER doctor say the same shit when I am getting dizzy constantly, having clear cut tachycardia issues, and having signs of BP issues (debatable on the issues itself). These things, in addition to my medical history AND life-long experiences indicate I very likely have POTS.

POTS is Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. This is a autonomic dysfunction condition (falls under dysautonomia). I'm really not the best at explaining this condition, but common symptoms are: Dizziness, I believe both Orthostatic intolerance and orthostatic hypotension, obviously tachycardia (but I've heard you can have bradycardia as well, unsure on that one). POTS is considered a syndrome because it is a conglomeration or group of symptoms and cannot be diagnosed by a single type of test.

I have heard of several tests that can make it much easier to get diagnoses, but even then you may struggle to get diagnosed.

I personally have done an ECG/EKG, as well as a 24hr holter monitor (basically 24hr EKG), and a huge amount of blood tests. At home, I have done a number of tests (specific and random) of both my blood pressure AND my heartrate. This is how I found out that I have abnormal BP and HR.

There was an issue with the day I got the 24hr test done, as I became ill (from doing laundry) and had to lay down for the MAJORITY of the 24 hours. As a result they did not see the tachycardia in the way we needed it to be seen (aka I wasn't standing up enough to get the results to prove the tachycardia).

I have literal videos and pictures PROVING that I have tachycardia and what we believe to be orthostatic intolerance (but could be hypotension....we highly doubt that though). The doctors ignore it because I DID IT. They however will not do the STRICT testing required to prove it. They also won't refer me to the departments required to test these issues.

I was literally sent home with some "homework" by the nurse to get current vitals all weekend long and email them in to prove the issue and request a referral to the blood pressure clinic. Today I spent 40 mins doing this so far. It will actually take longer later today when I do it again because I need to start with laying down for an hour.

Generally you spend 20 mins to do this 'test', but I have to do the version that is comparable to a tilt table test, as my doctors have refused time and time again to give me the test to prove if I have or have not been passing out. Yep, you read that correctly. It turns out I very likely have been passing out for very brief amounts of time but have no way to confirm without tests LIKE a tilt table test.

I'm not the best at working quotes in so take a look at it then I will discuss more.

"Results showed that standing after being supine for 1 hour was at least as good as 10-minute tilt; longer tilts introduced excessive numbers of false positives. Standing HR and BP measurements were taken at 1, 3, 5, and 10 minutes. Thus, standing tests for POTS requires previous supine rest. In our hands, >20 minutes is needed to reach fluid equilibrium."

Reference:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3639459/

This means the original test I was told to do (which took 20 mins) is not as accurate as this one. In the one I've done, which has MORE THAN PROVEN the issue, you lay down for 10 minutes, not 1 hour, take your laying BP, stand and immediately take your BP, wait 2 mins, take BP, wait 3 more mins, take BP, and wait the last 5 minutes to take your BP. Aside from the laying down BP these are done AT minutes 1, 3, 5, and 10 OF STANDING. Overall this is a 20 minute test. While trying to use it in place of a tilt table test you need to add an hour instead of 10 minutes, so it comes out to be 70 mins total.

Now take this morning for example:

I was already laying down for far over an hour since I was awake but not getting up yet (technically I got up a few hours prior to use the restroom and take care of the dog, but I immediately laid back down and multiple hours passes). I took my BP, then did the 10 mins of standing and took those BP's, then did the same thing but while laying for another 10 mins, and finally changed HOW I WAS LAYING to my usual laying position and did 2 in that position, 1 after initially moving and the other after 10 minutes.

So for A SINGLE one of these I spent 40 minutes, and later will have to ADD an hour onto that, JUST SO I CAN PROVE the thing the doctors are ignoring.

Now tell me how spending several hours A DAY on doing 'homework' for your doctor ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE is somehow not A FULL TIME JOB??? If you really thing it isn't you need to get off your high horse. Because this is real and a serious problem.

Disabled folks, like myself, are constantly being told we aren't doing enough or that we need to just try harder, or that we aren't worth it because we don't work, etc. BUT these people saying this cannot even begin to fathom what we go through on a daily basis or how much energy it would take them to simply do our 'homework' for the doctors. Literally, tell me you have a full time job that lets you take nearly 2 hour breaks on a frequent basis to check you BP or to test your heartrate, or to let you lay down and decompress (physically or mentally) or that lets you take frequent breaks for HOWEVER LONG YOU NEED, or that lets you call out sick FREQUENTLY, with anywhere from a decent notice to absolutely no notice, or even having to leave work early because you overestimated your capacity for the day.

Jobs like that DO NOT EXIST. They don't. There are small companies that may allow that, but that would be the one-off exception, and is certainly not easy to find. Jobs like streaming give you the flexibility for all of these accommodations and more, but does not provide you with medical, dental, or even a steady stable income.

So please for the love of all things good in this world, stop treating disabled people like we don't do enough. We shouldn't have to earn the right to EXISTING. We shouldn't have to PROVE that there is an issue to the people expected (and paid) to help us. We shouldn't have to beg for help because the rest of the world has turned their backs on us.

It's ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. Be kind. Be understanding. Lend your ear if you cannot do anything else. We work harder than you will hopefully ever have to know.

Thank you all so much for reading this far into my post!!! I don't really feel comfortable with promoting myself but I will use the mental excuse that its almost my birthday so "just do it already FFS".

There are a few ways you can support me, both with and without paying a single cent!

My first link is going to be my throne, where you can safely buy me gifts that are delivered directly to my door! You can get me most kinds of things, and I do sometimes update it to contain alot of fun stuff (especially around holidays). I can received several very helpful health related gifts, and love that my community has shown a desire for my health to be improved in any way possible. This is very heartwarming and really makes me feel seen, heard, and appreciated. You can find anything from streaming stuff, health stuff, dog stuff, and fun stuff on my throne so feel free to browse. I also have some payout items that go to my throne balance for me to spend on whatever I want in case you can't make up your mind.

The second link is my carrd link, which contains a bit more information about me, as well as EVERY POSSIBLE LINK you could want to find to support me. This is where the free support comes in. If you follow me on my socials, youtube, or twitch you will be able to interact with me. As we all know, the world of social media and content creation requires people to interact with you and your content. I will be posting to youtube again soon, but as of right now my most active places are discord (where you can get health updates, live notifications, and just chat and chill with me), twitch (where I stream), and Twitter/X (where I am currently most familiar with posting things).

I appreciate alot of the little things and am unfortunately not the best at expressing it....but I try, and that is kind of the most important part. Again, thank you for reading this far, it really means alot to me.

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caiwuhan · 1 year

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English ver.

　　K' woke up the moment Kula left. Though he had not opened his eyes.

　　It had taken him three restless days and nights to get away from the military affair, and his first thing when he got home was not to greet someone he had not seen for a long time and ask if she had upset her stomach, but to go to sleep with Maxima.

　　He was always more casual than Maxima, passing out almost as soon as he touched the edge of the sofa. It didn't matter that his clothes were dirty, his forehead was wet with sweat, and his sunglasses rubbed his ears when he slept on his face.

　　He felt it even in his sleep when she leaned in. Her body was cool, and when she came she was like a little fan, blowing away all the heat of his sleep. It was not comfortable to take a nap with her on the narrow sofa, where he was bent and she pressed his arm; Perhaps he was too tired, but he just gave a little snort without resistance.

　　Kula takes long naps. Normally, when supper is served, he and Maxima will look at each other and mutely pass the buck of waking her. But when she woke up today, he silently blamed her for the short sleep. Sleepiness clung to his eyelids and held him in the palm of its hand; His spirit struggled to get up as to at least see what this girl was up to.

　　At last K' got up, and as soon as he opened his eyes he wanted to close them and go back to sleep. He gave a dry cough to keep himself awake and slowly turned to her. "... What are you doing?"

　　There was no answer. Her shadow leaned against the window, her back to him, her blue hair bleached linear gray through his dark glasses.

　　"It's too late to cook. You can order what you want." Then he rolled over. "If Maxima and I aren't awake when dinner comes, no need to wake us. You go ahead and eat alone."

　　Finally, before closing his eyes, he added, "Only one ice cream."

　　When he woke up again, there was still light, but the light was a little different. He heard the birds chirping and saw the faint morning light coming through the curtains, and thought of how harmless the early morning sun was. A good night's sleep made him feel relaxed, but as he looked around the room, his good mood evaporated.

　　He waited for Kula to wake up and walk out of the room and grabbed her at the door. She kicked and threaded, and finally raised her eyes to the detestable K'.

　　"You didn't have dinner?"

　　It's not like her to be squeaky clean. She can have her takeaway everywhere.

　　She dismissed his query: "If you don't eat, so do I."

　　K' let go of her, his eyes hidden under his glasses, his lips tightened into a thin line. "You're usually gluttonous, but now you don't feel?"

　　He didn't mean to be angry with her, he didn't care if she didn't eat, it's her own business. It was just that she didn't have regular meals, and in the end she suffered herself. But these twists and turns could not be untangled in one or two sentences, and no matter how Kula arranged them, she could not read between the line a single kindness. Tears of grievance came into her eyes and glistened in their meeting gaze.

　　"There's nothing I want to eat, that's why I won't!"

　　K' is a bit surprised and confused. He had shunned her tears, made excuses in his mind, pressed down on his out-of-control worries and doubts.

　　"What are you going to eat then?"

　　She spoke out a name that he had never heard of, except that it was probably pizza with an exaggerated name. Puzzled, he asked, "How is this different from a regular pizza?"

　　"Of course it is! This is for amusement park!" Kula's voice trembled once with emotion. "K' must have forgotten about our amusement park rendez-vous, right?"

　　K' touched his nose and finally chose not to lie: "I don't remember promising you." The blank in the tone was just right.

　　Kula, even forgetting to cry, stared at him for two seconds and shouted at him with all her might, "You great fool! You don't care about me at all! Go out for your tasks for so long without me, also don't play with me!" She caught her breath and pointed at him. "Kula is angry! Kula runaway from home!"

　　What runaway? What does it mean by saying he doesn't care? K' was caught off guard by her, his mind was in chaos, and his first thought was: "How can I possibly take you out on mission?" Don't be kidding. What if she childishly gets kidnapped halfway?

　　But by this time Kula had reached the door, and it was too late to address any other apologie. Plus there's a question marking over whether he really wants to apologize. K' did not feel that he was wrong. He was not angry, but he was not pleased.

　　"Well, where are you going?"

　　Kula looked back at him. "You don't care anyway. I can go anywhere!" She left him with a grimace and quickly slipped away from the door. The sound of the lock tightening echoed through the room, and K' thought he should run after it.

　　But why? He didn't do nothing wrong.

　　K' stood where he was for a moment, then turned and went back into the room. Kula would be back soon. She had no money, and she would not like to spend the night outside. They've been treating her like a baby, haven't they? K' remembered how quiet and defensive she had been when she had just escaped Nests with them. Maxima said she was too immature and frightened by the Nests crew. What Maxima said was like a switch that turned his protectiveness on.

　　Even as a child, what on earth will happen if you let her go out all day? Thinking it was no big deal, K' went to bed to catch up on sleep. But tossing and turning he could not fall asleep by all means. He didn't think he was troubled by those chaotic thoughts, but in his shallow dreams he had visions of Kula in all sorts of danger. When he dreamed of her dismembered he could not bear anymore so that he sit up in bed eventually.

　　It was a blurry image. It was not real, after all. His dream just put her up in those scary scenes. But the more he thought about it, the more details he added in the picture. He stared at the opposite wall. The sun was already high, and the girl, who was afraid of the high temperature while willing to go out at anytime, will always lean towards him under the heat...

　　K 'decided that if Kula did not return by noon, he would go out and look for her. For she's definitely going to get sunstroke, or sit on the side of the road crying because her ice cream melted. Even when Maxima woke up and inquired of him, he gave those good enough reasons.

　　He moved calmly about his room, ate his lunch in silence, and then received a hostile message.

　　When Maxima had checked it, he asked K', "What now?"

　　K' said: "To get her back. What else? " In spite of the cloud that had hovering upon most of his thoughts, he seemed somewhat glad that at least he had a good excuse, and there was no shame in being the first to rush out the door for her any longer.

　　Maxima read the message carefully again. "Do you think she's really in danger?"

　　K' replied, "I hope not." He returned to those strange images of his dreams.

　　His partner laughed. "You rarely say 'hope.' You seem really worried about her."

　　"You're not?" Asked K'." She's like a child. Her fighting skills won't easily beat a genuine gangster."

　　"Yeah, yeah." Replied Maxima."However, she doesn't seem so fragile to me. You've always thought that she is..."

　　K' decided to quit listening to Maxima's comments. How could Maxima know what was going on between him and her? And that she was not like a child, he should have heard what she said to him. K' leaned back in his chair and gave a little sigh. He was probably the biggest hater of fighting match in the world, but he could feel that he hated Kula's dangerous situation much more than he hated the King of Fighters.

Chinese ver.

　　K'在库拉离开的一瞬间就惊醒了。尽管他还没有睁眼。

　　从军方的事件里抽身已经花费了他三个不眠不休的白天黑夜，回到家第一件事不是和很久没见的某人打招呼，关心她有没有吃坏肚子，而是和马克西马各找地方倒头就睡。

　　和马克西马相比他总是更随便一些，几乎刚碰到沙发边缘就昏睡过去。衣服很脏，额头还有未干的汗，墨镜戴在脸上睡觉会磨到耳朵，这些都无所谓了。

　　她靠过来的时候他即便在睡梦中也若有所觉。她身上很凉，过来的时候就像一架小风扇，把他睡眠的燥热全部驱散。在狭窄的沙发上和她一起午睡并不舒服，他本来就歪倒着，她又压着他一边手臂；或许太累了，他只是微微哼了一声，毫无反抗之意。

　　库拉的午觉可以睡很久。换作平常，晚饭上桌了，他和马克西马总要面面相觑，无声地相互推卸把她叫醒的责任。可是今天她醒来了，他反而又默默地怪她只睡这么一小会儿。困意死死地缠住他的眼皮，把他握在自己的掌心；他的精神却挣扎着要他起身，至少看一下这家伙想做什么。

　　最后K'还是醒过来了，甫一睁开眼又立刻想闭上眼睛继续睡。他干咳了一声，让自己保持清醒，缓缓转过脸去找她：“……你做什么？”

　　没有回应，她的影子靠在窗边，人背对着他，她碧蓝色的头发被墨镜漂成线状的灰。

　　K'强撑着对她说：“晚饭来不及做了，你要吃什么可以自己点。”然后他翻了个身，“如果晚饭来了我和马克西马还没醒，不用叫我们，你自己先吃。”

　　最后闭眼之前，他又补了一句：“只能吃一个冰激凌。”

　　再醒过来的时候，天还是亮的，只是亮得有点不同。他听到鸟叫声，看到淡淡的晨光从窗帘里透进来，想到清晨的太阳如此无害。充足的睡眠令他感到轻松，可当他环视房间，他的好心情又立刻荡然无存。

　　他等待着库拉醒过来走出房间，在门旁一把把她抓过来。她又踢又蹬，终于抬起目光对上面目可憎的K'。

　　“你没吃晚饭？”

　　干干净净可不像她的风格，她能把一份外卖吃得到处都是。

　　她对他的质问不以为然：“你们都不吃，我吃什么。”

　　K'松开她，眼睛藏在镜片下，唇线抿得很严肃：“你平常那么怕饿，现在又不觉得了？”

　　他本意不是要和她生气，她不吃就不吃，他管不着。只是觉得她饥一顿饱一顿，最后还是她自己难受。可这些弯弯绕绕在一两句话里根本解不开，库拉无论如何排列组合这些字句，都读不出他的一分好意，委屈之下眼泪涌进眼底，在他们相接的目光里闪闪发亮。

　　“根本没有我想吃的，所以我才不吃！”

　　K'有点意外，也有些无措。他回避过她的泪光，在心里给自己找借口，按下他失控的担忧和疑惑。

　　“那你要吃什么？”

　　她说了一个名字，他闻所未闻，只知道大概是披萨前面被冠以了一个很夸张的名号。他费解地问：“这个和普通的披萨有什么不一样吗？”

　　“当然有！这个是游乐园里才可以吃到的！”库拉的声音因为过于激动而颤抖了一下，“K'肯定忘记了和我约好去游乐园的事对不对？”

　　K'摸了摸鼻子，最终没有选择撒谎：“我不记得我有答应你啊。”语气里的茫然恰到好处。

　　库拉连哭都忘记，瞪了他两秒钟，使出九牛二虎之力对他大吼：“你这个大笨蛋！你根本就不在乎我！出去办事这么久都不带我，也不陪我玩！”她喘了口气，指着他说，“库拉生气了！库拉要离家出走！”

　　什么离家出走？什么不在乎？K'被她打得措手不及，头脑一团乱，最先想到的是：“我怎么可能带你出去办事？”别开玩笑了，万一她真的这么笨，任务途中被人绑走了，他又该怎么办啊？

　　可这时库拉已经走到门口，再说其他的抱歉已经来不及。何况他是不是真心想要道歉，还得打个问号。K'不觉得自己错了，被她莫名其妙地拿来撒气，他算不上生气，但也不太痛快。

　　“喂，你要去哪儿？”

　　库拉回头看了他一眼：“反正你也不在乎，我去哪儿都可以吧！”她留给他一个鬼脸，然后迅速从门边溜走了。门锁卡紧的声音回响在室内，K'想，他应该马上追出去。

　　可是为什么啊？他明明什么也没做。

　　K'在原地站了一会儿，然后转身回房间。库拉很快就会回来的，她没带钱，让她在外面过夜她想必也不愿意。他们一直太拿她当小孩了吧？K'想起她刚刚和他们一起逃离音巢的时候，既不爱说话，对身边的人也总是很防备。马克西马说，她太小了，又被音巢那群人吓坏了。那句话就像一个开关，把他的保护欲完全打开了。

　　就算是一个小孩子，放她出去玩一整天又会怎样呢？K'想着没什么大不了的，准备在床上补眠。可是翻来覆去无论如何也睡不着。他自认为没被乱七八糟的想法所困，可浅眠的梦里却出现各种库拉陷入危险的情景。在他梦见她被分尸的时候他终于忍不下去，一下子从床上坐起来。

　　那个画面很模糊，毕竟不是真实的，只是把分尸的样子拼到她身上而已。然而越是去想，他就把那个画面描绘得越发清晰。他注视着对面的墙壁，太阳已经升得很高，那家伙怕热又喜欢出门，还老往他身边凑……

　　K'决定，中午过后库拉还不回来，他就出门找她。理由很充分，她绝对会中暑，或者因为冰激凌化掉一个人蹲在路边哭。就算马克西马醒过来问他，他也是这么说。

　　他镇定地在房间里活动，不言不语地吃午饭，然后收到一条不怀好意的消息。

　　马克西马和他都看过以后，他问K'：“现在怎么办？”

　　K'说：“去救人。”尽管阴云笼罩了他大部分的心思，他似乎还有点高兴，至少他有了一个正当的理由，第一个冲出门找她不再是什么丢脸的事。

　　马克西马又仔细看了看那条信息：“你觉得她会有危险吗？”

　　K'回答：“希望不会。”他又翻出那些梦里的奇诡想法。

　　他的搭档笑了：“你很少说‘希望’。看来你是真的很担心她。”

　　“你不担心？”K'问，“她就像小孩子一样，她那点打架的功夫可对付不了有心的歹徒。”

　　“是啊，是啊。”马克西马回答道，“可是在我看来她没有那么脆弱，反而是你一直把她想得……”

　　K'决定不再去听马克西马的评论。他和她之间的事，马克西马又怎么搞得清？还说她不像小孩，他真该听听她说的那些话。K'靠在椅背上，微微叹息了一声，他应该是全世界最讨厌拳皇赛事的人，但是他总感觉，库拉遇到危险这件事，他比讨厌拳皇还要讨厌。

#kof #kof xv #K'#Kula #K'ula

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