#like it makes you think abt when people talk so much abt trans men not needing to be masculine

[twunkzilla]

Lately like in my own personal masculine ethos ive been shaving my head and doing like rougher shit not caring about my appearance and trying to equip myself to be more dangerous and competent rather than palatable. Even tho people seem to be upset with masculinity. In the sense that like even ppl who are supportive of my transition also have it in their heads that i still need to be feminine and are attached to how pretty i look and how dainty i am and get so mad when i dress like shit and dont have cute lil curly hair. Like you ever notice how nobody ever gets on cis men about "boy room" and not moisturizing or whatever?

[genderkoolaid]

there is btw, A LOT to be said abt how theres only one big leftist video essayist who is transmasc or adjacent. like the transmasc erasure in the leftist youtube space is RAMPANT

Oh GOD yeah.

And necessary statement of "transfems are marginalized and their inclusion is equally vital to transmascs and unaligned people, and they also experience a ton of exclusion and abuse in leftist creative spaces."

That being said, I feel like so often people just don't even recognize the absence of transmascs because of the masculinity/manhood. Like there are people who care about diversity and inclusion will make sure they talk about transfem history, promote transfem creators, and I don't think its out of malice, or even done consciously, but they think that transmascs don't need that same care because well. They're men, right?

& that's half of transmasc erasure. One half is erasing the manhood/masculinity (misgendering), but the other half is erasing the transness and acting like transmascs have the exact same positionality as cis men, and transmascs are essentially exchangeable with cis men. Our unique needs are not considered. When your feminism is fundamentally cissexist, you view it as "trans women are women and its important to support women creators." And again, I don't think this is always done consciously, but on some level people think "trans men are men, and men don't need to be promoted as much." Its ciswashing transmasculinity so that ATM isn't exposed and talked about in leftist spaces.

Its fucking wild when you start seeing transmasc absence as the presence of erasure, and you watch all these otherwise accepting people who put effort into promoting marginalized voices, to whom the absence of transmascs in their spaces and work is completely invisible. And when you point it out, people will come up with arguments like "I guess transmascs don't care that much about [x]?" instead of imagining that it might be because of systemic anti-transmasculinity. The reasoning for a lot of people is always that it must somehow be transmascs' fault that they aren't represented.

[pastadoughie]

i am literally begging people to stop putting sexism and transphobia on my dashboard please fucking think critically abt ur internal biases for 5 secconds and please accept even an ounce of critisism without assuming that someone is attacking you unfairly

alot of you have extremely sexist beliefs that you dont recognize because within social media as a whole these are incredibly normalized, covering blatent homophobia and misandry in tumblr buzzwords doesnt make you not sexist it just lets you be sexist and homophobic and transphobic in a way that is socially acceptable and incouraged within a queer centric space

i keep seeing posts talking abt how people actively like artwork (writing, photography, drawings) more when they find out its of a butch lesbian and not just a dude, and like, if your opinion on a peice of media can change solely based on the gender of the person being depicted by it, with zero change to the character, then that implies an inharent bias against men like, just because its men doesnt mean it isnt sexism

same thing where people think that media depicting gay men is better when it explicitly isnt written by a gay man, like that implies a fundimental disrespect of the work based on the sexuality and gender of the author. if you like an artwork but then you find out its written by a trans women, and all of a sudden you think its garbage, you are transphobic, but when people try to point this same bias out for the works of queer men this is largely written off.

i know ppl will argue abt punching up and whatnot, and while i do in some ways agree with that overall sentiment, i think that we should be striving to uh, not be sexist at all, rather then just being misandrists instead of mysogenists, like, if you only care about sexism when it hurts women/women ajacent people then you dont actually hate sexism you just want it to harm a different group of people, you dont hate the system you just want to be ontop of it and benifit from it

misandry and mysogeny present in different ways, they arent a directly comparable thing, different people have things worse in different ways so its rlly hard to take a group and say "this group has it worse", like yes generalizations like that can help in an extremely broad sense, but the world is not black and white and this kind of shit is mindnumbingly complex, trying to act like there is some kind of objective scoreing system for who is more oppressed then who is just unproductive and harmful

and moreover, someone having it worse then you doesnt make you less deserving of trying to make your situation better, i dont experience racism and in many many many ways i have it easier then poc people, that does not make me undeserving of support and that doesnt make me complaining or trying to better my situation unreasonable

we can care abt the lives and want to better the situation of different groups simoltaniously, we dont have to stop caring about racism because we want to better transphobia

i get that transwomen have it rlly bad and i do not experience the exact same struggles as them, and therefore cant comment on alot of them, but so often i see erasure of queer men in order to give more focus to transwomen, and just because trans girls go through alot of shit doesnt make that ok

one thing that people have to recognize about misandry and specifically transmisandry that you dont really have to see as much with its mysogeny counterparts is that they have far more attention and people care far more about activism for queer women/women in general, queer mens experience and specifically the transmasc experience is very very very often erased and written off even by supposedly trans friendly and queer sorces, people care more about butch lesbians then they do trans men dispite the insane ammount of overlap between the two groups, when researching about historical butch lesbians alot of them are just, trans guys that people are misgendering and mislabeling as butch lesbians because ooooo woemennnnn

being transmasc myself i can say that like, the erasure of trans men is an extremely large issue, for large swaths of history the experiences of trans people arent paid attention to at all, and even looking at media coverage today, if people are going to talk abt transgenderism they are talking about it specifically under the lens of trans women

this is largely because misandry (specifically, people thinking that having cock and ball makese u somehow predatory) makes trans women an easier punching bag, trans women get more attention because they are easier for radfems (misandrists) to be bigoted against in a more violent way, if you assume all men and amab people are violent and predatory by nature then this makes justifying violence against trans women easier

and yea being a punching bag for the media is fucking hard but it does mean that activism for that group is much much much louder, more people are complaining about trans women so more people know abt the specific issues they face

but dispite trans men yaknow, also existing and recieving a shit ton of transphobia and erasure over history they dont get talked about as much, people hate us and are violent twards us but we dont nessasarily get the same outrage for our treatment

trans men are just as often get the dismissal for being women, and the outrage for being men as trans women do we just dont get as much support and thats really difficult! often people seek to treat transmasculinism as some kind of new thing like, i get the comment often that "usually its boys that wanna be girls" and its like, no. its not. its simply that people care less about us

i think that its really easy to misenterpret me here so im gonna just get this out of the way, i dont think that women have it easier then men in a broad socital sense, but also, i dont nessasarily believe that means that my complaints are invalid, being a queer woman is not a walk in the park, and neither is being a queer man, and both groups experience homophobia transphobia and sexism in different ways, so acting as if saying one is objectively worse then the other is unfair and reductive

i think that if we want to get anywhere in regards to making it easier to be trans then we need to talk about all queer experiences, you cant just, only care about trans women you have to care about all trans people, and moreover queer people in general, this means you HAVE to be vigilant about people wrapping up sexism in a tumblr buzzword packadge, you need to consume things critically and you are not immune to pipelines, people dont just wake up and become radfems you get continually fed more and more extreme idologies, being fed things that you 90% agree with untill you eventually become completely removed from the groups you were supposed to stand with

you can care about the oppression of multiple groups at once, and if you think activism in any way involves the erasure of a certain group then you have fundimentally misunderstood what youre supposed to be doing, queer men exist and they deserve support and respect and you need to be able to support and respect them without being like "ohh she is soooooo trransfemme coded" like. men can be queer and still be men, they can be queer and still deserve your love and support, i am begging.

also yes i am aware that outside of my specific experience of tumblr people fuckin hate trans girls and women in general and they dont feel the need to do this shit. but that doesnt mean what im talking about is not an issue and is not something that people need to change and address. if you find urself doing this shit you have got to reflect on yourself, you arent immune to transphobia or homophobia or sexism ESPECIALLY if you think that you somehow are magically immune. nobody is. no identity is. everybody is suseptible to this shit and it takes active critical thinking in order to combat it

[viquipo]

No bc I'm so mad rn I usually post my rants on ig stories but I need the tumblrites to tell me if I'm crazy or what. Jwcc/ct spoilers WHATEVER

First of all I want to preface this by saying that this is just my opinion on the matter, I'm not saying your headcanons are "wrong" or whatever tf, it's a kids cartoon where they unironically use terms like "fam". You can play with the characters however you'd like.

That being said, this is why TO ME it does not makes sense for Ben to be anything other than gay. Again, if you think he's bi or straight or anything else that's cool. I'm also leaning towards the opinion that he does actually have a girlfriend. I don't think the shows gonna pull a 180 on it because, realistically, 2 queer characters is already a lot for a DreamWorks kids show. As much as I'd like it not to be.

But, since the beginning, Ben has been very clearly coded as exclusively into men to me. Before finally going into it, I remind everyone on here that I'm a lesbian. I have felt an affinity with his character specifically for the experience of only liking the same gender. I might be totally projecting.

Ok, so.

1. The arc Ben goes through during the show is yes, one of self discovery, but also one of self acceptance. He changes a lot from the start of s1, but he also comes to terms with stuff himself or other people didn't like about him. He doesn't throw the dork pouch away or tells Kenji to keep it, the first thing he does when he takes it back from Kenji is put on hand sanitizer. He is covered in dirt, he's not afraid of filth anymore, but he still does that action because it's part of who he is as a person. He also becomes very unashamed at the things he does. He went from being embarrassed of his carob bars to eating grubs in front of people who he knows think it's gross. He knows himself as he is and he accepts it. To me (and to lots of other people) this works very well as a gay metaphor, and pairs up pretty nicely with the whole "jungle boy? Jungle MAN" arc being a trans metaphor. But how does this make Ben uniquely into men?

Well, it doesn't. But I think this next one does.

2. Enter Yasmina. She's pretty, she's smart, athletic, funny, all that good stuff. I'm not saying that means every wlm character should automatically be into her, but it certainly helps. Now forgive me if I don't remember specific episodes/seasons, but we all remember that episode where Ben convinces himself that Yaz is in love with him for some reason. When he "rejects" her, he says : "I'm just now starting to find myself". That's cool, cause I'm pretty sure Ben's " finding himself " personality wise was over and done a couple of seasons ago. To me, that is a really good hint at him dealing with his gayness.

3. He's also the first person Yasmina talks to about her feelings for Sammy. Now, in this particular context, the options for Yaz to talk to were Darius, Brooklynn, or Ben. It would initially seem to make more sense for her to confide in Brooklynn, since the two of them are far closer than her and Ben, and it also wouldn't be the first time she brings up Sammy as a romantic interest for Yaz (see: everyone tweaking abt that one line back in like s2). So why does Yasmina, a very private and reserved person, choose Ben to talk to about her same sex crush? She has probably gathered from the previous conversation that Ben relates to her struggle in a unique way in which Brooklynn just can't. Ben seems very receptive of what Yaz is saying ("feelings, am I right?") and it seems like he REALLY gets where she's coming from.

4. This is one I don't see talked about a lot, and maybe it's just cause I'm too out of the loop with the fandom, but I want to examine it as well. It's when Ben decides to not actually stay on the island. Everyone (except Sammy) already knew he wasn't going to stay in the end, but still didn't force him out. I think this is especially clear in a line Darius says when they reunite on the boat that goes something like "you needed to figure it out on your own" *smile hand on shoulder combo*. No explanation needed I think

I am diagnosed with autism did you guys know what

[kienansidhe]

the thing is for a long long time i did subscribe to the idea that transfems have it the worst of all of us and that transmascs do have systemic power over transfems, and im still not sure i dont believe it? however.

the transandrophobia/transmisandry/whatever you wanna call it blogs that i follow specifically clarify over and over and over that they are not trying to say transmisogyny doesnt exist, or to make it a contest of whos most oppressed, or to say trans women have systemic power over trans men, or anything of the sort, they have made that disclaimer so many times and yet over the years i have seen that making that disclaimer does not help.

if transmascs speak up abt transphobia, we are bombarded with harassment and willful misinterpretation of our words. no matter how many disclaimers, no matter how much we keep the conversation to our own posts, no matter how many steps we take to avoid taking space away from transfems, we still get these accusations of transmisogyny, just for talking about our own lived experiences.

we shouldnt have to grovel and beg other queer people to allow us to talk about the oppression we experience. we shouldnt have to couch it in 500 disclaimers, and even when we do people try to silence us.

im absolutely not blaming this on transfems, btw. many of the most supportive ppl on this site who boost transmasc voices are transfems who are incredibly kind and wonderful and smart people. the transfems who are radfemmy and separatist are not any more representative of transfems in general than the transmascs who are radfemmy and separatist are representative of transmascs in general. i suspect most of the problem are cis ppl. i know many are fellow transmascs who either pass and dont experience the problems most of us face, or else have been taught that in order to be good allies to transfems they have to disavow their siblings who are still fighting to be heard, like its a zero sum game and they have to pick sides.

maybe transfems do have it unequivocally worse, full stop. im not rlly that smart or good at interpreting data and different people tell me different things and if i think too much abt it i start spiraling. but i dont like that so many people on this site take transmascs talking abt our struggles as an inherent attack on transfems. thats that part i rlly dont understand. thats why i keep asking why we cant just get along. why cant these discussions happen in parallel?

if someone tells me transfems have it worse, sure, that doesnt bother me to accept and be aware of and take into consideration in how i live my life. but when people tell me transfems have it worse, therefore transmascs should shut up? thats incomprehensible to me. thats just transphobia.

[bruciemilf]

#like - ill be very transparent. sometimes i write fem bruce solely for harvey or clark eating pussy content KSKSKS #but thats very much achievable with trans bruce so

!!!!! ohhhh pleasepleaseplease give us a few headcanons/some content!! there's not enough trans!bruce out there esp. with harv and clark!

OH MANNN. MAN. MAN. so!! I don't know If you had a set preference between nsfw or sfw and/or harv an clark hcs,, so I think it'll be a mix for both!

Warnings/tags: Degradation, housewife kink, dirty talk, name calling, breeding kink, daddy kink mention, size kink

Transitioned early; Martha, Thomas, and Alfred were as discreet as a star family gets in Gotham City, where the media's eyes never shuts. Which is never enough.

They couldn't pay rich people, media people to ignore the Bruce before the Real Bruce. But if you cared about your life even a little bit, and you didn't want to die under Thomas' scalpel, you kept your mouth shut.

Bruce got in a stage where he was cis passing enough that people didn't think twice to call him a man; I feel like he grew up around healthy examples of masculinity, but when you're in college? You try to make up for your lacks.

There's a subgenre of sexism among men tbh, that its like, specifically To them; It's like, misogyny in the open, but they victimise eachother about it.

Bruce can't quite understand why drinking and hooking up and getting blasted without even worrying there's a pill in your drink is necessarily masculine. It's certainly a privilege, thought, and he's a bit (a lot) bitter abt it

Also most def carries testosterone shots on his batman belt that he accidentally injects instead of adrenaline like, all the time.

Oh, and testosterone and estrogen? Free in Gotham. Courtesy to Wayne Enterprises

Bruce not giving a wet fuck about gender norms in the slightest bit; He'll rock a coral pink tennis skirt and shiny, peach perfumed lip gloss.

He'll rock divine silk dresses. He'll look angelic with motor oil smudged on his cheek from breaking into the autoshop.

And he doesn't really care who has what to say about it, because Harvey Dent? Can't peel his eyes off of him, and that's enough of an achievement for Bruce.

(Nsfw HCs ahead!!!)

Harvey always always worries he might say the wrong thing; the wrong name, (they have a very soft spot for Princess and Baby)

Harvey calls him Baby Girl while Bruce worked him hard with his hand and mouth, dragging holy noises out of him with just a few tugs, and Harvey apologizes profusely

" My masculinity won't shrivel up and die because of a name, Harv. Even I'm not that fragile. "

Bruce is a big time virgin but no surprise there; Have you seen that man. He falls apart at a few words and gets wet so easily it's ridiculous.

Batman riding Harvey's thigh while he's supposed to interrogate him? It's more likely than you think

That being said, he's big on degradation; Harvey calls him a perfect little slut and Bruce's brain goes fuzzy and dim. I'm sorry, but Battinson has huge " pls just break me and take care of me after" energy I am PROFITING

With Clark it's almost the same, because personally? Mean Clark. Mean Clark who'll grip Bruce's diamond sharp jaw and make those strawberry lips pucker. Just to watch those pretty eyes roll back. " Aww. Are you that needy, darlin '?"

HARVEY AND CLARK AND BRUCE? biggest housewife kinks. I'm sorry, don't shoot the messenger, they SPECIFICALLY told me to tell YOU that they love Bruce in a pink apron, legs spread open on the kitchen counter while they're " having dinner"

THE BREEDING KINK???? Bruce rides the hell out Harvey/Clark, making an absolute mess on their laps, whining, squirming, sobbing up a storm because he DEF cries during sex, and he's begging so sweetly

" please-- please, can - can I have a baby? Please? Pretty please? For me, daddy? For daddy's little wife?"

He's very persuasive when he wants to be

And as the tags mentioned; Bruce has his legs spread open wide more often than not.

If he's not laying on his back, getting the soul slurped and licked and milked out of him, he's most definetly riding Clark's or Harvey's faces and I'll die on that hill.

Harvey/Clark love how fucking Big they are compared to him. They love Bruce is small enough to move around, but big amd strong enough to grope and manhandle. Praise kink is on Heavily. " That's a good boy. "

This man's pussy makes Harvey/Clark CRY. They're completely addicted to him. Bruce is all day everyday getting spread on princess pink sheets, lingerie shredded, heels digging in his partner's back and getting SERVICED like he deserves

Pillow princess 100%%%

He likes hard stuff, but he's Very fragile in the after-care process. He's ashamed of ask for it because he's affectionate, or starves for it anyway, and doesn't expect to receive it because he didn't until Then

But it's all so soft, after. Gentle kisses. Harvey/Clark carrying him around everywhere, not minding clingy arms or sharp nails squeezing their shoulders. They're happy to hold that big baby for hours

Gets the baby he wants but like. Of course it's conceived in the dirtiest baby making sex you'll ever hear of. RIP Harvey's old DA office/car and Clark's family barn

That's all folks!!!

[spacelazarwolf]

i just keep thinking abt how that guy said "its transphobia and misogyny. let your experiences unite you with cis women, trans women, and enbies, not separate you"

and like idk its like we can't use transmisndry/transandrophobia/atm/etc bc its transmisogynistic. but we also cant use transmisogyny bc thats only for trans fems and trans women. but we cant use misogyny either bc we're not women. like you said it doesnt matter what word(s) we use or even if we don't use any words at all, they still get mad at us.

but also, why does us trying to give a name to our experiences separate us from those groups? all of those groups can experience atm in various ways. why is it that using the term transmisogyny does not separate trans fems from those groups? why does using the term exorsexism does not separate enbies from that group? (assuming these people even agree exorsexism exists, some of them dont)

and the assumption that all of those identities listed are completely separate really bothers me. all of those can and do overlap. how can i as a transfemmasc multigender enby, separate myself from those groups by describing some of my experiences, when i AM those groups?

(im not going to even bother with the fact that cis men weren't included, we already know why)

imo it's because the idea that women (and people they can group in with women) forming separatist groups and separating themselves from MenTM is actually feminist and girlboss and just Protecting Them From Their Oppressors, whereas any other group doing it (not even just men as a group, but i see this shit happen to jews, black people, indigenous people, people with closed practices, etc.) is just trying to make themselves feel special or they think they're better than everyone else. also people just still straight up do not believe trans men are oppressed.

also it's particularly hilarious bc like. so much conversation around anti transmasculinity is about the fact we share a lot of experiences with both cis women and trans women. i can't tell you how many butch cis women, intersex people, and trans women and femmes have expressed to me that they have experienced something similar to what i describe in my posts. and the thing is, we have been talking about this kind of thing in queer circles for forever. we've talked about how butches are demonized because of their masculinity, we've talked about how trans women are forced to present as feminine as possible so as not to be seen as a threat, we've talked about how nonbinary people who were assigned male at birth and choose to present more masculine are demonized and stripped of their identity. but putting a name to it means there's a systemic problem in our community, not just Problematic Individuals Who Are Bad Who Are Totally Not Us So We Don't Need To Unpack Any Of Our Biases Uwu.

[fleshdyk3]

Why don’t you like the pills that make you green comics? Not meant to be passive aggressive or anything, I’m genuinely curious.

intersexist and transmisogynistic implications, the original creator is clearly too starstruck by getting so much attention and "fans" to think critically about the comics ppl are submitting (many of which are blatantly transmisogynistic). the original comic was fine but it really should have stopped after that bc the creator as well as everyone else making their own comics are trying to illustrate real nuanced issues which you just cant really do with stick figures that are different shades of green, especially as the simile clearly wasn't made with the intention of it evolving to be able to make these nuanced points and trying to use it anyways is just clunky inefficient and confusing when you could just talk about it normally. i could be wrong about some of the specifics of the individual comics bc i never kept up with them and havent seen anywhere near all of them but last i checked there was only one comic which acknowledged the existence of intersex ppl (which is crazy) and in this comic the intersex person, who was trans too and talking abt how their experiences as an intersex person affected their gender/transness, was purple for some reason? that just kinda rubbed me the wrong way like why are we so other? even though this person is also trans why are they completely different? idk it just felt weird to me. there are multiple comics that address transmisogyny within the trans community, both by the creator and "fans", and they all have a vibe of "these hysterical trans women are making up problems to get mad at when i (the reasonable transmasc/non transfem) am smartly pointing out that we should be focusing on the transphobes instead". theres one with two people using the shades of green that represent trans women and trans men respectively arguing about who is going to be put in the contraption first and the smart reasonable protagonist is like ☝️🤓 actually i think we should dismantle the contraption all together and then all their problems are solved after that. which is just weird. i dont know anything at all about the op so i could be missing some context and also its really not much of an issue at all i just dont like it bc of this. like not to be the smart reasonable protagonist but there are bigger problems within trans communities to focus on than the pills that make you green comic. i just dont like it

[nyaagolor]

Pride Month Headcanons

It's about time I organized these. Under the readmore bc I have a lot to say

- Salvatore and his wife are bi4bi. More accurately, his wife is bi and Salvatore isn’t putting a label on it because while he thinks he’s bisexual his only real world experiences with men are a single makeout session in a Lumiose club during a language immersion trip and lingering too long on some Instagram models’ posts about their abs. If you ask him about it he will not say he’s bisexual bc doesn't need anyone other than his wife, but he’s pretty sure he’s bi in his heart

- Hassel and Brassius have been together for almost 30 years but aren’t officially married. For a variety of reasons, mostly centering around Hassel’s family being a possible threat to Brassius’ safety, they decided to just keep it on the DL. They live together and are for all intents and purposes married, but never actually signed the paperwork. When people ask, especially strangers, they refer to each other as artistic partners or close friends, but anyone who knows them well is well aware they’re husbands. Most people assume they got officially married, and when the school finds out they beg the two to have a ceremony, even if they don’t sign the paperwork. Tbh I could prolly make a whole post on just them (and prolly will)

- Dendra is a lesbian, she‘s had a crush on Tulip for YEARS. Despite her usual extroverted and confident attitude she never confessed and has no idea if Tulip likes women, nevermind if she reciprocates Dendra's feelings. Tulip figured out Dendra is a lesbian but never realized her crush. Somehow.

- Eri and Carmen are girlfriends. The rest of Team Star admins took a LONG time to come around to this, since they think Eri forgave Carmen too fast and were worried Carmen was trying to take advantage of Eri again. They got over it though, and she’s been invited to their hangouts ever since

- Penny is trans I’ve talked about this like 26 times and have zero intention of stopping. She transitioned a lot over her suspension in Galar and has the most supportive family and friend group imaginable. Her body image is extremely fragile but that’s honestly just anxiety from general past bullying, and her new friends have helped immensely in that regard

- Sada and Turo are bi4bi this is a hill I will die on

- Iono is super tight lipped about her sexuality because of idol streaming stuff. Unlike most, she actually likes to keep people guessing, it’s like a game to her

- Every pride, Larry wears a rainbow tie. No one has ever been able to figure out if he’s LGBT or an ally or what. Rika’s running theory is that his Staraptor is gay and he’s trying to be supportive

- Geeta is a career focused person and never took the time to think about her sexuality. If you ask her about it, she won’t have a good answer and you might just make her short-circuit. I think kissing her would make her explode

- Ryme is aroace. I have nothing to say abt that specifically other than aroace people are the coolest and so is she

- Rika is Butch. She got top surgery and everyone is gay for her, myself included. However she has negative game. Pickup game pathetic. Cringefail, even

- Raifort is a lesbian but is only into really toxic women specifically. Genuinely just the worst taste imaginable. She is always complaining about how much she dislikes men as romantic partners and then is actively running towards red flags like she’s playing flag football

- Jacq is non-binary but is a little worried to ask if he can get his pronouns updated on the academy registrar. He’s sure it’ll be fine, but he’s perpetually stressed out and a liiiiil scared of Clavell. He/they enby king with enough anxiety to put anyone else in the hospital

- The academy is the most accepting place in the world. The GSA (which Hassel runs) is one of the most popular clubs, and cishet students and teachers will often sit in just to learn or support their peers. They go HARD in June, and are the official runners of the Mezagoza Pride Parade ever year

- A big part of the reason people feel so safe in the academy is bc there’s a ton of GNC people, both LGBT and not. Saguaro comes to mind, and is someone that a ton of students look up to. He’s cishet but could prolly crumble the gender binary in one hand. He would too

- [gestures vaguely at Clavell] he got smth going on. Idk what I haven’t thought abt it but something

[elluka]

Happy Pride. These are my Limbus Company headcanons. ID in alt, long ass explanations + extra headcanons under the cut bc I didn't like the look of when i put two flags on each character.

The City is a hellscape but it IS established that being GNC is cool in ruina, and I'm going off of the assumption that being nonconforming is fine for the most part, but queer identities aren't really something people talk about, BUT also it does vary wildly depending on the part of the city, leading to culture shock with a few characters having come from more conservative areas (sinclair, don quixote) when seeing people from more relaxed areas just living their best lives (faust, outis). (warning for mentions of trans and homophobia)

Dante isn't sure if they identified like this already or if they were just kind of assigned nonbinary when they had amnesia and has not questioned this. If they were to think about it, they would still be nonbinary, but maybe in a different way? They have the Agonies to go through and amnesia to wretsle with though, so they don't spend much time thinking abt gender when they;re fine with it as it is.

Sinclair is an egg still, but will eventually realise he is bigender and gay (for guys). He is aware of and respects nonbinary people and ppl who use other pronouns like Dante but subconsiously thinks that you need to have like, qualifications to be allowed identify as trans and it's not something that just anyone is allowed to do. He still hasn't accepted that he likes boys OR that he's not into girls. Give him some time, poor kid has catholic guilt in a setting with no catholics, he thinks every little thing he does is sinful, nevermind the stuff that other people actually say is a sin. He thinks its fine and is supportive when others are queer but not when he is.

Ishmael is a lesbian. She got up to some yuri on that boat. Nowadays she's too focused on revenge to think about romance though.

Meursault is pan. He doesn't care about gender, just appearance (he has comically high standards here, usually) and whether you make him do stuff he doesn't wanna do or not (he has comically low standards here, usually).

Rodya is bi. She will flirt with guys and girls alike, but when she's chatting up a woman she takes extra care to make sure it can easily be taken as a joke. My source for this is when she's flirting with Faust in canto 4. Bi4Bi with Gregor, at least in the LCB universe; she gets with others in different realities.

Gregor is also bi, nad pretty casual about it. Like, he gets nervous when chatting with anyone hot, but he's no more nervous with guys than with girls. I also like him being a trans guy, but I still need to workshop my lore for that. Bi4Bi with Rodya in the LCB universe, damn near bitchless in every other one. He has NO game.

Yi sang is something called reflectshift, which was defined by the coiner as "a gender related to mirrors , reflections & shapeshifting". He uses any pronouns but he doesn't tell people this and so people only use he/him so now he yearns for just one weirdo to break the cycle and call him something else. He will not ever express this sentiment, nor will he ever bring up his gender unless prompted, though if he is directly asked he will go on a long poetic rant about it.

Faust was a woman but then she made that contract with that undefined being and their minds connected so now Faust is a demigirl and Faust is Faust.

Outis is a lesbian the way the way many ancient greeks were gay. Men just aren't as smart or hot or personable or cool or strong as women, you see, they don't have the soul,

Hong Lu is gay. He thinks straight people are like, not real. All the books he's read only have straight romance in them but he thinks it's like, just one of those things that people think they should add, or like a job, where no-one actually WANTS to be straight but they have to, for some undefined reason.

Ryoshu is a trans guy. He cut his own hair with a sword in a dramatic moment. It's not that he hides his identity, but he's fine with people assuming he's a cis woman bc it is funny. He will confidently walk into mens restrooms or walk around in just boxers or whatever and everyone is always just like "oh man, ryoshu's doing a fucking bit again", which is funny enough that he doesn't say anything. If someone were to react with genuine hatred or something, though, he would walk up to them, explain that he IS a guy, and kill them. It's an art.

Don Quixote is a lesbiknight, a gender "related to being a lesbian and being a knight". She used to be out, and used she/her, he/him, and the neopronouns he/her/heroself, but after one too many incidents from before joining LCB and after losing sancho (her one ally) she has decided to just be a normal weird girl since people are nicer that way.

Heathcliff is currently only about Catherine, but if she had been another gender, he would have fallen just as hard. While he hasn't processed his identity, he is still perfectly happy to knock the brains out of homo/transphobes, because he likes hitting stuck up bastards with his baseball bat and he does feel very strongly that people should be able to do whatever they want without any buggers butting in on wtuff thats not their buisness. Good for him.

Demian is bi, and his gender is "a normal human boy" or "a boy, which is one of the most common genders held by homo sapiens, who are the dominent species on earth, not counting us abnormalities, of course".

Oh yeah also Charon is a lesbian. So is Sonya. That one person who said Sonya is a he/him lesbian is so real.

OH AND ANGELA IS A TRANS GUY. I will die on this fucking hill.

Sinclair's entire section here is inspired by both the game and the book. Ishmael was pure vibes. Ryoshu was inspired by the insane backstory i came up with for her after reading hell screen. You could read hell screen and not in a million years understand the backstory i came up with. Hong Lu not knowing abt straight people was inspired by my own experiences being uninterested in romance. Thank you.

[catgirl-kaiju]

i'm saying this as a trans man and someone who has watched this infighting that seems to be brewing for a long while so don't think i want to continue it further by dragging you in the mud of it all especially after seeing that you already get targeted by terfs i for one don't even follow genderkoolaid and have a lot of bad takes but i know that their good ones do circulate in my circles for things like databases for trans man hate crimes and what have you things that are invaluable to trans people to have as support in the community the baggage behind a lot of these words that get thrown around like "transandrophobia" just leave a bad taste in my mouth and i feel like if they will have any validity in academia and social justice all the theory will get ironed out in the next few years and so i just don't see any use defending THE WORD let alone THE SLUR THAT MANY USE but i think that it needs to be understood that the word """"transandrophobia"""" is not a organized school of thought with everyone attached to some discord group that has secret infighting targets and takes pot shots at trans women all i ever see is people using the word, talking about WHY THE SLUR IS A SLUR, and wanting to talk about problems trans men face without always having to use the word "misandry" because it is deeply upsetting that in so many ways we are born women, we live as women, and will never escape womanhood i feel like not being able to escape the things people perceive you as and the assumptions and fears (especially the fears people think are justified when they are very much not) are a universal trans experience and so it really hurts to just see people spot a basic word like "transandrophobia" being used in a post and deem an entire group of people bigots i see trans mascs and intersex people do the same for "tme/tma" where they just totally avoid anyone who uses these terms its tearing the community apart and making it harder to remember how much we have in common and bigots want us to be alone and defenseless like that... sorry that this was long winded, i'm sure you've heard all of this before i just felt i needed to vent because its really not about the blog its about the general way people navigate in fighting genderkoolaid is not someone i'm really willing to defend, let alone the other blogs that get tossed around that have been in heavy water so i hope i've made that clear here at the very least

hey i don't really follow what you're saying here. i'm not sure what slur the slur you're referring to is, and i'm very unclear what your point is abt transandrophobia. i'm also confused abt which intersex people u are referring to that don't like the terms tme/tma. i'm intersex and use those terms, and i've seen other intersex folks actually prefer those terms for discussions about transmisogyny because of how it shifts the focus away from very binary way that sex is talked about in the AGAB model.

this is, in general, confusing and makes me uncomfortable in ways i can't really articulate atm. i think chief among them is a kind of "but, what about me" vibe i'm getting from this at a time i am being more vocal than ever abt how transmisogyny affects me and other tma folks.

although i'm not sure what your stance on the term "transandrophobia" and the ideas behind it are, i can say that very much disapprove of it for reasons others have articulated so much better than i could. i think issues that uniquely affect trans masc folks are worth talking about, but i think the framing of conflating those issues with the way transmisogyny functions is just the wrong way to go about it. much like how "misandry" is not really a helpful way to talk abt the ways that cis men are affected by patriarchal systems, as those issues are not equivalent to the way misogyny functions. very telling that before the term "transandrophobia" was used, the same ideas were being described with the term "transmisandry"

[qelflinq]

Every porn take I see blow up on here says the exact same thing and it’s wild to see 20,000 people play absolutely stupid every single time lol. “2 people should be allowed to record themselves having good angel consensual sex and that’s why porn is good actually so stop saying it’s bad😇” Ok how come that’s your position that’s not even a very divisive thing to say. Come on now defend the porn made in a studio with a pornstar man and a pornstar woman whose Instagram comments are full of old men describing how they’d like to violate her (best case scenario). Like WHO is taking up an issue with the ethical shit when they talk about porn. That’s literally 2% of porn you assholes KNOW the other 98% (the pornhub most searched , the shit most curious 11 year olds will see first) is simulated rape/incest/pedophilia (oftentimes all 3). I’m not saying the straight guy favourites are all like this, but even the majority of “normal” porn reestablishes really fucked up ways to view women (as do things like weightwatchers and razor ads but that’s probably pushing it a bit too much on here). I guess part of the problem is that hardly anybody on this website can think or see beyond themselves and their own porn habits. Like sure maybe (maybe) Rocko| 23| he/they only gets off to AO3 fanfiction but the kink freedom warriors don’t love mentioning the swaths of men that go abt their day fantasizing about controlling or hurting women. Do they just not exist when we consider the effects porn has on us? Or are they not supposed to be a problem, and I’m just another grouch yucking somebody’s yum? The men that are our classmates and coworkers and family members etc etc the men we have to interact with daily. Like I’m sorry but not everyone lives in Tumblr world 100% of the time lol it doesn’t make us anti sex crones to think it’s weird that porn is so accessible and commercialized and STILL so influenced by misogyny (again I’m talking THE MAJORITY of it not the ethical shit everyone uses as an example when defending porn). I’m starting to get ads from onlyfans telling me to sign up 👍 telling me hey girl this is such a fun opportunity to make money. Is that not like, evil?? Is that not scary to anyone? Like now it’s the company itself explaining how good and empowering it is to have your income dictated by how jackoffable you are deemed by strangers forming fantasies surrounding your body? Whether my body is a particular fetish? Nobody online rly wants to talk about the other side of sex work. Abt how it’s so closely linked to addiction and poverty in real life. It’s not just silly cute cosplay photoshoots that stay within the greater queer community. And even when it is, if you come across any trans OF creators twitter, a great chunk of their comments are (often conservative) men who want to hurt/degrade them. It’s not a new or made up phenomenon. You can very much witness it for yourself. Most people DO witness it, I guess it’s just not really a priority so it’s better ignored? It’s useless trying to have a normal conversation about these things cause everybody reblogs the same posts to show they share the same opinions. When the internet is this fast ur priorities shift, I get it. It’s easier to form opinions based on others safe agreeable pre-written ones. So often I see or hear someone regurgitating some shit I KNOW they read on a Tumblr post or heard in a YouTube essay cause bro I saw it too. Sometimes it’s straight up word for word. Like what ! Does nobody read books anymore. Or go to work. Or go outside and talk to people. I know it’s hard to find time to think about things much when there r so many tiktoks to watch, posts to read, pictures to chuckle and so little free-time in your day to do all that. It’s crazy to me that if you’re not a woman on here , you’re probably not gonna think about how women are treated at all.

[zombeats]

LGBTQ+ BSD HEADCANONS!!!

(im using "any pronouns" for he/she/they + neos to make it easier for me cause i usually dont know whether "any pronouns" includes neos or not.

i also put some xenogenders in so if you dont know one or are curious, look them up!! theyre super cool! i tried to use some that are somewhat known to make them easier to find but xenogenders are kinda hard to find in general so)

(also im probably spelling names wrong PLS FORGIVE ME IF I AM im tired and idk how to spell 😕😕)

quick guide for anyone confused!!!

masc terms = masculine terms (i.e boyfriend, bro, dude, brother)

fem terms = feminine terms (i.e girlfriend, sister, wife)

neu terms = neutral terms (i.e partner, sibling, spouse, significant other)

all or any terms = fem, masc, + neu terms (i.e partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, spouse)

format-

name: gender - pronouns - terms - sexuality

reason why i think this and/or little hc about it

ADA

Dazai: bigender (nb + male) - he/they/xe - masc + neu terms - bi + ace

he had a lot of gender crises while in the PM and eventually realized that he could be both nonbinary and male. chuuya pretended to be really irritated with all the pronoun and term changes but was very supportive and patient

Kunikida: trans man - he/him - masc + neu terms - gay + demisexual

he was very nervous about teaching at first because he didnt know if the students would know if he was trans or not but ended up "passing" really well and no one knew until he decided to tell them and then all the queer kids went to him for help/advice

atsushi: cis male - he/xe - masc terms - bi

was very nervous abt coming out and repressed his attraction to men until he joined the ADA and felt safe enough to accept who he was and came out

yosano: bigender (nonbinary and female) - she/they - fem + neu terms - lesbian ace

didnt realize she was queer until she met ranpo and he suggested she might be. after that, he helped her try pronouns and terms until they found what fit. as a way of saying thanks, she did his nails and helped him through his gender crisis

ranpo: bigender (male and female) - he/she/they - any terms - bi demiromantic ace

didnt realize he was bigender until yosano did his nails and had a gender crisis. it took him a week to figure it out and hes still embarrassed about it

fukuzawa: trans man - he/they - masc terms - aroace

never felt interested in romantic or sexual relationships and didnt realize that it wasnt "normal" until people started dating eachother and talking about sex

jun'ichirō: cis man - he/him - masc terms - straight demiromantic asexual

was super confused when his sister kept getting crushes on guys and talked about dating them when they barely knew eachother. when he tried to look up why that was a thing, he came across the labels demiromantic and asexual and realized it applied to him

kenji: cis man - he/she/they - any terms - unlabeled

doesnt care what people refer to them as, they know their own gender and thats all that matter to him. also does not care for labels, he likes who he likes

kyouka: demigirl - she/they - fem + neu terms - bi

had no time to explore her identity while in the PM so they only discovered themself when they joined the ADA. dazai was actually the one to help her find the labels and pronouns that fit her

naomi: trans woman - she/her - fem terms - pan

she insisted for jun'ichirō to call her a girl at a young age and it scared him at first. after looking it up, he realized she was trans and waited until middle school to help her find a name for herself. when she reached high school, he then hunted down an ability user who could change someone's appearance for help because they couldn't afford hormones and surgery

kirako: cis woman - she/ze - fem terms - bi

she found neopronouns when she was in middle school and experimented for months before finding ze/zir and realized how much she liked them. she didn't tell anyone about it because ze was embarrassed but then finally felt safe enough with naomi to talk about it

THE GUILD

fitzgerald: cis male - he/they - masc terms - gay

had a long talk with every member about how he wouldn't tolerate discrimination in the guild. it was kinda awkward since everyone there was queer.

POE!!: genderfluid (female, male, agender) - he/she/ve/xe - any terms - uranic demisexual

uses karl to let others know how hes feeling (karl likes being dressed up he gave consent)!! he puts a bow on karl when xe feels feminine, a tie when ve feels masculine, and a little sweater when she feels like neither!! ranpo thinks it's adorable. also genderfluid poe is canon

melville: cis male - he/him - masc terms - gay

also did the "no discrimination tolerated" speech but it was 10x more awkward

louisa: demigirl - she/they/sol - fem + neu terms - pan

talks with poe about neos a lot!! has fun making up new ones although sol doesn't use them

lovecraft: genderqueer- they/voi - neu terms - aroace

likes trying out new neos although they never seem to fit void for long

james: cis male - he/him - masc terms - unlabeled

he feels very lonely being the only unlabeled person in the group but none of them make fun of him or say anything rude and always try to include him without insinuating/accidentally using lables for him

steinbeck: demiboy - he/cloud - neu terms - gay

jokingly makes fun of neos a lot, will kill someone who actually does

montgomery: trans girl - she/her - fem terms - bi

will constantly refer to herself in third person when shes feeling dysphoric so that the others know and try to help (for example, "hey, am i not the strongest girl in the group?")

margaret: trans woman - she/her - fem terms - pan ace

loves hyping herself up (as she should) and always makes sure to hype up other trans people and compliments them a lot

mark: trans man - he/him - masc terms - bi

sees lucy as a little sister and always helps her when shes feeling dysphoric. loves to buy her cute dresses and does her hair a lot

hawthorne: nonbinary - he/they - neu terms - gay

loves browsing queer forums and is super active in the community. always helps answer questions anyone has and loves educating people about gender and sexuality

PM

ryunosuke: bigender (male + female) - she/he/it - fem + masc terms - uranic

only told gin and chuuya about it because he didn't feel safe enough to tell dazai. she was only able to tell him about it after chuuya told it dazai was also queer (WITH PERMISSION). IM A SHE/HER RYUU TRUTHER OK IT JUST FITS SO WELL

gin: genderqueer/apagender - any/all - any terms - lesbian

they never felt weird when people used he/him pronouns on them or used male terms. talked to chuuya about it and after a long discussion, they came to the conclusion that they just did not care what people used for them. told ryuu right after so she would stop getting mad at people for using the "wrong" pronouns/terms.

chuuya: genderfluid (male + nonbinary) - he/ve/it/nix - any terms - uranic ace

the "elder queer" amongst the PM. everyone goes to it for advice. nix actually never had a realization moment, he just always switched between feeling like a man and feeling somewhere in between. the only confusion it had was what to call this, and ve eventually found the label for it.

higuchi: astrumgender - she/star/sol/moon/xe - neu terms - pan

had no idea how to describe sol's gender until xe found a xenogender masterlist on the internet. she found it interesting and kept trying to analyze what star's gender felt like when moon saw one that seemed close to what they felt. she finally landed on astrumgender however it wasnt until a week later, when she tried it again, that xe realized it described star. gin helped her with pronouns.

ace: genderqueer - he/she/they - any terms - gay

found out about all the different gender while gambling with someone. looked it all up later and decided to settle with genderqueer cuz she didn't feel like trying out a ton of different labels (honestly me too)

kōyō: trans fem - she/they/ae - fem + neu terms - neptunic ace

thought neptunic meant "attracted to masculine people" until gin told them that it actually meant "someone attracted to nonbinary people and women". ae felt it described aer better than lesbian did so she started using that label. (honestly i keep getting neptunic and uranic mixed up. i keep thinking the terms are neptunic for liking masc people and sapphic for liking fem. then uranic comes outta nowhere to remind me of my dumbassery 💀 i gotta memorize this shit. the flags dont help either)

verlaine: ethegender - any/all - any terms - gay ace

always felt confused by their gender, he could never describe it in thought, feelings, or words. he always felt like it was at his fingertips but she just couldn't get a hold of it. xe fell down a gender rabbit hole one day and felt that ehtegender described it perfectly. this was also when it discovered the label ace.

hirostu: cis male - he/him - masc terms - aroace

thought everyone knew he was aroace until someone asked him if he had a wife during a meeting. he said he didn't cause he wasn't interested in that or sex and it was deathly quiet for two minutes before he said he was aroace to clarify. they like to tell that story to new members for a quick laugh

arthur: agender - he/they - neu terms - gay aroace

took forever to rediscover their identity. they knew something felt wrong when people used masc terms for him so he asked mori about it. it was a very awkward conversation

elise: cis girl - she/her - fem terms - straight aroace

got very confused when mori kept asking if she had any crushes yet. finally decided to ask him abt what he meant and that was when they both realized she was on the aroace spectrum

Q: agender - they/xe/voi - neu terms - unlabeled

they're actually very happy for their natural androgynous appearance, cause xe never gets misgendered. ofc voi told the PM of their neos but xe never expected them to get used and they cried when chuuya casually said "why are you talking about Q that way?? xe's a kid. leave xem alone".

karma: trans boy - he/him - masc terms - gay

had a very awkward conversation with ace when ace realized he was trans. he was seriously hoping ace just turned him into a gem to escape the conversation. surprisingly managed to teach her a lot of things about the community and proper etiquette when talking to queer people

kajii: trans masc - he/they/xe/ve/ae/div - neu terms - pan demiromantic

neopronoun collector. loves neos. gains neos each week. lost track of them and had to start over three times. ryuu loves using his div's new neos cause it adds some excitement to his life

oda: demiboy- he/she - fem + masc terms - uranic

when she met dazai, it took a lot of patience for him to teach them about pronouns and gender. had no idea dazai was bigender until xe came out to him about it. absolutely no gaydar

ango: nonbinary- he/they - masc + neu terms - gay

phenomenal gaydar, clocked everyone immediately. oda didnt even have time to come out to them, they already knew. knew about dazai, too, but wanted him to figure it out on their own

mori: fuck him, cishet (just realized two seconds after posting that i forgot to add him lol)

THE SILLIES (DOA)

fyodor: agender - any/all - any terms - gay ace

i feel like he sees himself as a divine being or at least something other than human. he has this whole thing of "doing god's will/mission". and imo divine beings are genderless. so i think he would see himself as above gender. i would've just done they/them + neos but honestly? i dont think she would care about pronouns at all so. ALSO nikolai LOVES finding the most out there neos to use for fyodor he finds it so fun. he uses new ones every day

NIKOLAI!!!!: genderqueer - he/they + any/all neos - neu terms - gay demiromantic ace

i feel like nikolai just does not care about pronouns. i also think he wouldnt mind she/her but find a little displeasure in it. he would probably rate she/her as a 4/10 if 0 was hate and 10 was love. he almost feels neutral about it but theres just a little but of dislike. he also LOVES silly neos like clown or honk. he loves it even more when fyodor uses his silly neos cause fyodor is so serious all the time

sigma: aliengender - they/them - neu terms - aroace

currently experimenting with neos. nikolai is obviously helping. their whole thing is that they came from a book so they don't feel like they're "human" (imo, having emotions is what makes you human but its their existential crisis so). anyways i think because of this, they would feel a detachment from gender and would feel like no gender truly fits them but that aliengender fits best (even if its not a perfect fit)

bram: bigender (female + male) - he/she/they - neptunic

she definitely has conversations with nikolai and sigma about gender and how it's expressed. her and nikolai try to teach sigma about it but it just goes over their head (same). definitely goes into great detail describing what his gender feels like to sigma and they're honestly having a great time. gender tea parties every wednesday

fukuchi: trans male - he/him - masc terms - straight

bonded with fukuzawa over being trans. they definitely met in a gsa. tries to be supportive of nikolai but his head spins just thinking about all the neopronouns so they teach him a new set once a week to ease the process. fyodor makes fun of him for it

HUNTING DOGS

JOUNO<3: trans masc - he/they/xe/ae - neu terms - gay demiromantic

taught tetchō and fukuchi what neos were and how to use his. ae has no idea how fukuchi went this long without knowing what they were since fukuchi is quite literally an "elder trans" and has been in the community for decades. teases him about it sometimes when teruko isn't around

teruko: trans woman - she/star - fem terms - pan ace

taught fukuchi how to use her neos. almost killed tetchō when he asked about star's neos because she had no idea he was listening to her teach fukuchi. tries to fight jouno over who's are better (he doesn't care).

tetchō: caligovague - they/ae/jhey/kei/ve/mu - neu terms - uranic ace

after being taught what neos are by jouno, mu went on a deep dive because ve found it interesting. jhey discovered so many neo ae like it was insane and also found a very fitting xenogender. they went to jouno and talked about it and finally told everyone else (fukuchi almost had a stroke trying to learn jheir pronouns).

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYONE THIS TOOK FOREVER!!! also if you want clarification on any pronouns or genders please don't hesitate to ask!!! i had a lot of fun looking for genders and pronouns to fit them although i do worry there wasn't enough variety 😕

[booksandpaperss]

some ramble-y thoughts on men's social isolation and women's safety bc this has been on my mind for a bit

I do think it's really sad how men end up feeling so isolated bc of various social expectations as well as people being cruel, but as a fem presenting person I have to say that you can't just expect women and anyone who is fem presenting to just "start being nicer". ive seen a few posts on Tumblr essentially stating that but I have to reiterate it is about safety. I literally cannot afford to stop looking at men with caution and assumed violence until I get to know them really well bc if I stop that could genuinely cost me me life. its true that most men I see probably are not predators and im sure it hurts to be perceived that way, but I have no way of being able to tell who is and isn't going to harm me. I have to assume the worst because it is the only way I can stay safe.

it sucks, it really does, for all parties involved. I have so much sympathy for the men who are genuinely kind and would never hurt me that feel isolated, it isn't fair, and I myself certainly don't enjoy the *necessary* fear that the random guy im passing on the street could see me and decide to hurt me, but this is the reality of the world. there is no easy solution, but what certainly isn't a solution is expecting women to start being kinder to men they dont know because once again: that could genuinely cost someone their life.

The best solution right now I think is to continue to try to deconstruct misogyny and gender roles, and that takes time, patience, and understanding.

I have also seen the notion on here that men feeling isolated socially is misandry, but the reality is that misandry is simply not real on a systemic scale. men feeling isolated is a direct result of the patriarchy and a side affect of misogyny. a lot of things on this website that are perceived as misandry are either not real problems or they are but they're just the impacts of misogyny and the gender roles that come with it.

But it is very surreal to be walking alone at night, clutching my pepper spray and glaring whenever a man I don't know is near me, making sure to stay next to the street and make it obvious I know exactly where I'm going and still feeling the fear that it might not be enough and something horrible could happen to me anyway, only come back to Tumblr and see people saying misandry is just as prevalent as misogyny and women need to start considering how it feels for men to be looked at like they're predators. Touch grass seems like an applicable statement here.

oh and obligatory piss on the poor tumblr disclaimer: I know I am using binary terms so before any of you get on your high horse about it, I myself am non binary. I am not actually a woman, but I certainly look like one and therefore deal with misogyny. I fully understand that trans men and genderqueers of all kinds as well as even feminine cis men also fear for their life on the street so dont even think abt getting on my ass about that. oh and if any of you try to call this a terf post consider yourself blocked with a recommendation to get a refresh on what terf actually means instead of just throwing around the term when you see any post trying to talk about misogyny :D

final disclaimer bc I wanna cover all my bases due to Tumblr reading comprehension: im aware topics like this are very nuanced with lots of layers, please dont act like im obligated to cover all that in a random Tumblr post of all things, I cannot possibly cover everything nor am I obligated to. I simply wanted to remind ppl that actual lives are at risk and fem presenting people constantly and regularly fear for their life bc I feel like that gets left out a lot in conversations like this on here. <3

[poopscooplala]

(psa this is mostly referring to the movies)

ive seen a few posts that have bothered me. i searched "remadora bad" on google to see what people were saying and it came up eith tumblrs and reddits etc and they were all really weird.

i recently got into the marauders fandom after reading atyd and being a fan of harry potter since i was a child, this fandom made me really happy because of the escapism it provided. many of us have loved hp and then realised its problematic aspects and seen jkr being the worst and no longer can escape with hp.. and marauders fandom is a much more inclusive and feels safe space. i do ship wolfstar and i want to get this straight because one post mentioned wolfstar shippers and it was definitely a weird take.

the post was about how women who ship two men together hate women because if theres a woman in the picture its always a crime against her i guess? they also touched on fetishisation of gay men in a way that seemed to be encapsulating all of these people into that message.

1. not everyone who ships two men hates women. i mean this is absurd 😭 it seemed much more like this poster was more anti fanon, which is odd. anyone who defends jkr instantly puts me off, i understand if someone is confused by not following canon when talking abt media.. but it shouldnt go so far as to licking jkrs ass saying "shes the author she knows best🤓🤓" we know shes the author, thats half the problem. anyway, i understand this point but it didnt work in the context they were using it for (remadora/wolfstar). the marauders fandom has been criticised for misogyny, but the generalisation of shippers all having that belief is just untrue.

2. fetishisation of gay men is most definitely prevelant in shipping spaces but it goes eithout saying that an entire community of people wont all have the same views and opinions. from personal experience, i have always been wary of fetishising gay men and recently realised that my special interests being shipping different gay relationships has been involved in my gender identity. im not really sure of anything yet but i am exploring being actually a man or gener fluid or non binary.. as i said i dont know yet but i have realised that i have always put myself in these ships, wanting to be one of the men in them (of course this hasnt been the sole reason im questioning my gender). generally, i think shipping is very fun and just a great way of exploring romance in your favourite medias that represent you - which is what many people in the marauders fandom express. i do understand this concern though - fetishisation is a real thing and these ships shouldnt be objectified to be apart of that. i just dont think we should automstically assume every shipper is fetishising gay ppl.

nothing ive talked abt has rlly been abt marauders so far but i just wanted to set up some context and rant abt that post tbh.

as ive grown, ive realised how forced remadora was in the movies. i always felt like it came out of nowhere but i was a kid and i didnt care enough to think abt it like i just wanted to see harry running through the grass and shit. anyway, ive watched a few viedos abt the marauders fandom and about jk rowlings problematic writing and i have a few points to make about remadora and tonks' and remus' characters respectively.

in ootp, tonks is introduced as a fun, independent, and rebellious person. they arent afraid to speak out abt their name to someone more experienced in the field (mad-eye) and they have bright purple hair so obviously they r cool and awesome. they are a metamorphagus(?) meaning they can change some parts of how they look. i, and many others, see this as a symbol of trans teens. correcting the feminine "nymphadora" to a more unisex "tonks", the fact they can literally change how they look (perhaps showing their desire to change themselves ehich many trans people relate to), and their overrall childlike attitude. i think rowling makes tonks young and fun to show immaturity, therefore the transcoded character is sort of displayed as an immature teen that doesnt know any better (insert jkrs transphobic tweets here).

THEN in hbp the newly called "dora" is married. not only is tonks feminised by heteronormativity (a big aspect of stereotypical femininity is marriage) but their general appearance and attitude has changed. her hair is now like a light brown, and this natural colour i feel may allude to the natural order of womanhood is to maybe go through a rebellious gender non conformity teenhood, but eventually we all "mature" into our "natural" womanhood.. may be a reach buut?? anyway, their dialogue in this movie is very small - i assume its different in the book, but i feel like either way their dialogue would be similarly all focusing on remus (way to fail the bechdel test) which ironically is more represantative of jkr hating woman soo the ship they r saying is the anti "gay shippers who hate women" is one of the many symbols of misogyny in jkrs books.. i mean idk if i need to say this but a woman isnt defined by being married/with a man and i feel like jkr is trying to present it that way.

jkr seems to have unintentionally presented her transphobic views in the character of tonks. many people related to tonks because of their gender fluidity and hbp disappointed many with this character development.

now, the age gap between remus and tonks is 13 years which is gross. especially when you think about the more childish representation of tonks in ootp, like theyve been matured in hbp for the purpose of making the relationship less weird? idk but this is a point that really irks me because many ppl ignore this and always conclude that ppl who dont like remadora are just wolfstar shippers and also hate tonks because they r a woman. even if i hated wolfstar id still hate remadora because of this gross age gap😭😭

another post was from like 10 yrs ago so, perhaps the opinions are just outdated considering jkrs problematic behaviour has become more of general knowledge in recent years but they basically were the common "he not gay jkr mad ehim be with woman he cant be gay 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓" .. jkr has made lots of promises she couldnt keep.. like the whole can of worms that is the time turners (no cedric diggory would not become a death eater please go back to bed omg) so it really isnt unheard of that she could make a gay character and then just.. ruin it?

she definitely didnt intentionally make anyone gay, because she ahtes gay ppl, but remus and sirius are very commonly interpreted to be queer coded. loads of ppl mention this, but even david thewlis (remus lupin actor) read the characters as lovers. many people saw them as lovers so thought remus was gay, then saw him marry tonks and felt confused. of course he could just be bi but jkr wasnt writing that i dont think lolz EVEN if that was the case, remus is meant to be a good character so why is he getting with tonks who is so much younger than him, to me it makes no sense. which is why many people think remadora doesnt make sense, why many marauders fans, including myself, dont see remadora as what would happen. like im not saying that sirius would be a live and blah blah because im referring to a still canon compliant story, it just would not include remadora and its weird energy.

also, jkr said once that lycanthropy was a symbol for rhe aids crisis (thats not a gay allusion at all 🤗). and hootsyoutube makes a great point about how this is problematic. remus lupin is not the only werewolf in the series, greyback is another one that is apart of the wizard nazis and was the one who bit little 5 yr old baby remus lupin. so.. this is very predatory behaviour, i mean he sliterally biting people (like a lion eating a gazelle or sumn idk r u getting what im putting down 😭😭). now, what is a harmful and highly perpetuated stereotype against gay people.. you got it - predatory behaviour. jkr connects the aids crisis to werewolves who are (except remus) presented as predators who prey on little children 😝😝 amazing!!! SO jkr does allude to gay/bi remus buuut its also in a very evil very malevolent light because shes a witch cackling in the night

i hate canon dick riders because not only is the canon problemstic and jkr is evil BUT its literally a made up story... why do you care abt whats canon and ehats not? some may not get it but i love the feeling of being in the marauders fandom, where everything is just made up by us like its so whimsy so fun.

another post that rlly grinded my gears was saying "yall will complain abt remadora age gap but then ship snarry and snermione" which if ur referring to only ppl who ship this then yes you ate down very demure very mindful.. but it wasnt. why ar eppl generalising so hard like i know for a fact I do not ship that... thats pedofilia guys!! and i know most in marauders fandom dont either because most marauders fans i see rnt disgusting monster people? but they also used this to undermine the age gap in remadora, like no they r both bad both weird and the fact that one is by the author of hp is very telling

okay thats the end of my rant uhhh 🥸

[tiptapricot]

I was going to ask abt transfem marc too but they beat me to it lol

You said you had headcanons about the system and their relationship to gender? I'm listening,,,,,,,,,

YUSS!! I’ve talked ab stuff off and on in various other posts, like the ones I’ve done on clothing, Jake’s sense of self/home, and some of these, but I’d love to do a lil dedicated hc post just on my gender vibes for em :-)

Since I’ve just done the one on Marc I’ll do only Steven and Jake in this one, though Marc’s gender stuff can vary, again, based on the headcanons I work with (like sometimes he’s a cis man sometimes he’s a trans man sometimes he’s ?? sometimes he’s transfem, etc).

Some of this esp Jake’s stuff will get into heavy hc territory but I hope I can give my vibes for my thoughts in a cohesive way anyway. This will also ofc be an examination of their genders through the lense of western/American systems of gendering, as well as through English language understandings and descriptions of those experiences. There is so much that can also be filled out culturally and through the lens of different languages when it comes to concepts and connection to gender and the self. So while this is limited to a certain scope, I hope it can still spark some thoughts and ppl are welcome to add on their own ideas as well :-)

Let’s go!

Steven’s vibes to me are generally autigender man/cis+. He would use the label of man, he doesn’t necessarily feel outside of the binary or like he connects strongly with anything outside of being a man, but it’s different for him conceptually and in experience than it is for neurotypical cis men.

He doesn’t really think very strongly about the role he’s meant to play, the stereotypes he’s meant to fit. Gender isn’t really a concept on his mind as far as something to worry about or adhere to or live up to. He’s just… vibing. He’s soft spoken and friendly and snappy and awkward. His experience with others is more shaped by how they accept him for his behaviors than how they perceive him for his performance of masculinity. Because he doesn’t try very hard.

He likes loose clothing for sensory reasons, big sweaters, comfortable pants and shoes, things with patterns that make him happy and relate to his interests. And that includes skirts sometimes, maybe occasionally dresses if they��re long sleeved. He doesn’t think “I’m a bloke I can’t wear a skirt” he just does. He talks to people and connects with them, he’s earnest and kind, he cries and loves his fish. He doesn’t have this same weight that can come with trying to fit within the bounds of gendered expectations.

I feel in some ways if he had to try and conceptualize his own gender it would be strange, a role that’s not exactly been strongly felt or enforced (he wasn’t a part of a lot of the hypermasculine parts of their life, doesn’t have the same input Marc or even Jake do), but he also feels comfortable in being a man, in that being his label and the space he occupies.

He likes suits, he likes being called someone’s boyfriend or husband, he likes being called Mr. Grant, he likes the memories of receiving his tallit on his bar mitzvah, and still leads blessings over wine and challah on Shabbat, but none of it feels like an obligation. He also thinks makeup can be really fun and expressive, he likes wearing earrings or bracelets if they add a pop to his outfit, and he lights the candles on Shabbat without feeling out of place (until he encourages Marc to start doing it, to heal through that reclamation of the motherly role [idea courtesy of @fdelopera ]). He’s just comfortable where he is, not feeling the need to do too much and not feeling a need to change.

His brain experience plays into that conceptualization of gender and self, something that can’t be separated when describing it and in some ways can’t be described. Gender is experienced differently when you do not meet the same social expectations/understand the same social cues for it to be taught to you, when the rules themselves don’t make sense, when you have a blended experience of life.

So Steven is Steven, and that’s all he needs to know, and all he needs to be :-)

Jake is more complicated. Again I’ve talked about it before, I think perhaps even in its own post, but I forget the things I’ve ranted about on discord or in various ppls dms versus actual posts. Most of the text I’ll give here is from a wonderful conversation with spicyboelives over on Instagram, as that’s one of the best times I’ve been able to express my thoughts on this, but the ideas themselves have grown from multiple conversations with multiple people.

Essentially though, Jake’s having a ball.

Gender is one of his ways to reclaim and take hold of his sense of self, of his personhood, and as such it is multifaceted and strange. It has pieces to it, distinct ways of experience. To delve into his gender I have to delve first into my thoughts on his existence, and how he feels about that existence, because they’re deeply related and hard to talk about separately.

Jake Lockley protects. In my headcanon of his role and actions he’s a gatekeeper, a physical protector, and an extractor. He handles things Marc can’t, and his goal is to get them away from the threat or neutralize the threat so they’re safe, whether that be a direct attack, or self harming tendencies Marc may be enacting.

When he’s not out—for fast moments, for adrenaline filled snapshots of an outer world—he keeps them steady on the inside, makes sure whoever’s in the front seat is who needs to be and that no memories are trying to backseat drive them into a car crash. With such limited time out, and such a specific purpose, I think personhood as a concept would be complicated. He doesn’t get to experience things the same way Steven and Marc do, and he’s got a lot of responsibility and awareness from the start on what to do and how to do it.

He’s their transport, their traffic coordinator. He’s not fully a person, and he doesn’t get a chance to Be someone for a long time. So he builds it on his own, finds what he likes, the things he can take and repurpose into his own meaning and use, make them his so he has something to keep and someone to be. He defines his own edges, his own boundaries. Jakob wrestled with G-d and Jake takes that for himself. He is the lock and key for memories and he takes that. He forms himself into a man, into an experience, into a tool and a vehicle and a weapon. He is himself, and he is nothing. He is a man, and he is no one.

Jumping forward, for a moment, there was a joke in fandom early on about Jake using she/her pronouns. This came from that scene at the end of episode two where Khonshu threatens Marc with making Layla his next avatar, but he says “you may not like my next candidate, near and dear as she is to you.”

And as Khonshu ended up always wanting Jake, some people were like “omg she/her Jake real.” And then as me and other people are wont to do, we took that seriously. I’ve seen a lot of transbian Jake headcanons and similar stuff, and I realized I really liked some kind of gnc aspect for him. It tracks. Gender is a part of identity and self definition, and queerness is contradictory and strange and powerful. So then I headcanon Jake with the following:

—he/him for the man, the boy, the cabbie, the smile

—it/its for the tool, the entity, the weapon, the space he displaces, the cracks in between

—she/her like how you reference a car or a boat, taking power from things he loves and the weight of painted nails pushing a flat cap up, or lipstick under a mustache; gender nonconformity is confusing and not stuck to the binary idea of people and men, and he is not wholly a person, not wholly a man

He is Jake, and his boundaries can’t be defined by anyone else but himself because they are his to control and his to grip with moon-shielded knuckles, to pull back beneath the suit and tie into the practiced Someone he’s chosen to be.

In line with this, through a semi-recent conversation, I realized something else for him. Cars get people from place to place, they’re an escape, the rumbling engine and headlights showing the way, and for the system Jake is their transport. He gets them out, gets them away, pushes them off-road when they have to dodge an obstacle.

And I think there’s something there that really connects, that feels right. Humans anthropomorphize vehicles of all types, see them as a friend and a companion, and isn’t that what he is? I feel like Jake really connects with cars on an identity level, just with what feels right, with what he does, with how he experiences the world and the ways his brain connects with things and people and himself.

So like… in more modern terms, I feel like he might be partly cargender/otherkin for cars as well. He’s not a fully human headmate, and vehicles are something he aligns with, connects to, and loves on a self level. Maybe he’d even be a car in headspace sometimes, stuff like that can happen, and I think it’s an interesting layer to explore for him and his actions and who he is (and can even add an interpretation to the Shiva memory scene of the cab in the background being Jake, being him watching over Marc at the time, hovering in the periphery).

With all of it, with all of him, it is complicated. But she knows, she gets himself. Jake doesn’t need others to understand it, to know why it is the way she is. He just is.

Just Jake.