#listen i do not usually enjoy those breakfasts and in fact i actively avoid it

[dantelionwishes]

i just had a sandwich, biscuits, and tea dude i feel so old 😭 <- only ever eats rice meal and juice for breakfast

[writersdrug]

Ghost x Konig x Reader: I Don't Need You (Ch. 6)

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Summary: You (surprisingly) get more comfortable with Kortac, and slowly let yourself connect with the team. You subconsciously tether yourself to Konig, who is more than willing to help you fit in. The pain of the past begins to fade into the back of your mind like the end of a long chapter of your life.

Additionally, Konig starts asking the hard questions - it unearths a piece of you that you'd hoped would remain buried, but you still share the memories with Konig.

Chapter warnings: Mentions of violence, mentions of rape, cursing, google translate German, shirtless Soap, very EXTREMELY watered-down mentions of sexual themes (we ain't there yet, boiis)

Notes: Sorry it took so long, I've got a lot cooking in the kitchen now and I'm hoping to pump out a lot this week!

Additionally, I've had some comments on this work not being an x Reader. First off, I never want to mislead anyone. I label this as an x Reader because Bonnie is not an OC of mine. I've seen other x Reader fics include callsigns that refer to the reader, so I assumed using Bonnie similarly would be alright. I also mentioned a name ONCE in chapter 3, "Jane Morris," which I thought to be a very generic name, and I haven't used it since and don't plan to. I have a personal preference of writing longer, chapter-by-chapter fics in first POV because it feels more natural to me than second POV. The same goes for using y/n - I like to avoid it if I can because it feels unnatural.

Again, those last two thing are a personal preference. I'm not bashing any fics that use these things at all, I enjoy both ones that do and ones that don't, and I don't enjoy one over the other. When I say one feels more natural than the other, I mean it feels more natural to write, not to read. I'm debating changing the name I used in chapter 3 to just y/n l/n to make this a true x Reader. If you still feel like I should change this to an x OC please let me know and I'll be happy to adjust the tags, titles, and descriptions. Again, I never meant to be misleading, and I hope I didn't make anyone angry. If a mistake has been made I am happy to learn from it. Thanks!

Konig had cracked the code on me. He figured out that after a case of American beers and a long drive, away from the crowd of new faces, my outer shell began to soften.

There was still a wall that I was holding up between me and everyone else, even though it was significantly smaller than usual. When Roze and Castillo approached me at breakfast, I didn’t get up and leave. And when Juno used the empty spot in the gym room right next to me, dropping his bag on the floor and giving me a cautious glance as he set up for his routine - I didn’t grab my things and move to the other end of the room. That was my first instinct, but I fought it. Instead I huffed, facing the mirror in front of me and focusing on my sets.

I’d started going to the common area more often – maybe not every night, but often enough. We’d make it a habit to play poker on the nights I did show up. I was better than most of the group, since none of them were quite used to my mannerisms yet. However, Konig and Horangi still took the lead as the winners, despite most of us arguing that they shouldn’t be allowed to play if they were going to wear their masks. The argument would eventually turn into a casual conversation – I didn’t engage in it too often. I preferred to sit and listen, using the time to slowly learn more about the team. I typically planted myself between Roze and Konig, keeping my legs crossed on the seat and nervously fiddling with my Yuengling bottle.

Although I was ashamed to admit it, Konig had become a conduit for my interactions with the rest of the team. The way he engaged with their activities, yet still managed to stay reserved, struck a chord with me. I respected the fact that it could sometimes be difficult to find him on base, and that at the same time, he was always there when I started to feel overwhelmed. I didn’t need him, no… that was a stretch. But sometimes I felt grateful that he was so eager to accompany me places – especially when he invited me to go on “perimeter checks” with him, which mostly consisted of long drives off base.

I don’t know how I had grown to appreciate him so much – maybe it was because he felt similar to me, in the way that we both needed our alone time, and with how we often found ourselves slipping out of the common area around the same time, with the original excuse being that we were tired. Half of the time, we would sit in the mess hall and talk until the early hours of the morning.

“A sniper?” I asked on one particular night, fiddling with the mouth of my beer bottle. “You’re way to big for that – no offense.”

Konig chuckled. “And that’s what they initially told me.” He took a swig of his (nasty) German beer. “But, despite being handed other opportunities, I proved them wrong. I’m sill a damn good sniper.”

I huffed. “Nah, you should be happy you got promoted to Colonel; you’re lucky, you get to avoid being in the trenches – at least, as much as the rest of us.”

“Lucky? No…” Konig said, shaking his head. “I do not like being a Colonel. I’d much rather be doing the dirty work of soldiers than writing these stupid reports.” He slapped a large hand over the manilla folder that sat on the table next to his beer. “It keeps my head busy, and I don’t have to listen to myself think.”

I nodded while sipping my beer. “I completely get that – If I’m not actively doing something with my hands, my brain gets too loud. Like – like there’s a mini me in my head, and the only way to drown her out is by physically doing something. Anything, really.”

Konig laughed – almost a snort – “‘A mini you’. I like that, that’s good.”

I huffed a laugh through my nose, turning my head to hide the smirk on my face. Despite being a large, brutish man, he had a youthful essence about him. It was hidden deep beneath the thick exterior of a war-hardened soldier. But, every now and again, it rose to the surface, touching a part of my soul I hadn’t allowed to be seen in a long time.

I pushed my stack of bills into the middle of the table. “All in.” I said nonchalantly.

Gaz narrowed his eyes, leaning back in his chair and looking down his nose at me. “You’re bloody stupid…”

“Or really smart.” I retorted. I folded my arms over my chest, not wavering under his intimidating gaze.

It was unbearably hot in the room – whether that was from the tension of the game or the broken air conditioner (Price eternally insisted it would be fixed, “… by next week…”), I didn’t know. I was donned in my sweatpants and sports bra, Gaz was in a wife beater and sweats, Ghost was covered head to toe in a sweatshirt and jeans (one could ever rarely catch him wearing anything less), and Soap… well, Soap was Soap. Completely shirtless, with only a pair of gym shorts on. Typical for him to be so shameless.

Ghost looked at his cards, his jaw clearly tense underneath his mask. He wasn’t very good at hiding his unlucky hand – it was almost like he wasn’t even trying. Which was a possibility.

“Fucking hell… I fold.” He tossed his hand onto the table, revealing his sour bunch of cards. He walked to the fridge and cursed under his breath, rummaging through the contents.

“Jesus, you’re a load of dry shite.” Soap commented, leaning against the wall adjacent to Ghost. “You could’ve at least tried to intimidate ‘em.”

“You could try shutting your fucking mouth, alright?” Ghost snapped back. Soap raised his hands defensively, leaving Ghost by the fridge.

He flopped onto the couch near me and Gaz. “Miserable sap…”

I did my best to tune out their bickering. I stared down Gaz, tapping my fingers on the edges of my cards. I was relying on the river card – I had a chance at a four-of-a-kind, praying the last card on the table would be another seven.. It was risky, and Gaz was probably right in calling me stupid. But I was never one to back down from a challenge. I craved the thrill of it. Most of the time, I ended up getting lucky.

Gaz chewed his lip. He cocked an eyebrow, slowly pushing all of his cash to the middle of the table. “Call.” He said.

And I heard it – the telltale sign of his bluff. A fraction of a second where his voice had waivered, followed by him grinding his jaw. I knew I had it in the bag.

I was savoring the moment of triumph, watching Gaz stare at his cards, when I felt a hand on my back. I nearly spun around and yelled at whoever touched me, until I saw a gloved hand place a Yuengling bottle to my right, the lid already popped off. I faltered, staring at the bottle, feeling the hand on my back rubbing a thumb back and forth over my spine.

I glanced behind me, looking up to meet Ghost’s eyes. He was looking down at me with an empty gaze. His eyebrows twitched for a brief moment as he continued rubbing his thumb over the skin of my back.

I knew what he was suggesting. What he was asking. Put a woman on a compound with broken, touch-starved men, and eventually one of them will succumb to the temptation. Even so, I was shocked that it was Ghost. I would say he was showing a weakness here, no matter what he decided to call this – it was an admission that he needed something – something from me, specifically – which I never thought would happen.

He continued staring at me for another few moments, waiting for an answer. Keeping my eyes locked on him, I took the bottle and drank; my reply. He gave the tiniest nod, walking away and sitting down next to Soap – who was shuffling the remaining deck of cards, eyes narrowed at Gaz. He knew he was bluffing too.

I turned back to Gaz, smirking as he revealed the river card.

“You ever think about what you would say to those kids now?” I asked, tapping my beer bottle. “The ones who bullied you.”

Konig hummed. “Mm… not really. I don’t hold too much resentment.”

I chuckled. “If only we could all be a saint.”

“Well, it all happened so long ago.” Konig tried to justify himself. “We were only kids, bored and trying to stay on the surface. They just wanted to look tough so that no one would pick on them. Of course, I wouldn’t understand that as a kid. Maybe then, I would have admired what I’ve become, and I would have wanted to boast about it. But now that I am a Colonel – Ich habe besseres zu tun.”

I sarcastically rolled my eyes. “And that means?”

“Ehh…” he groaned, squinting his eyes. “How is it said… ‘I have bigger fishes to cook.’”

I sputtered, turning my head and laughing. Konig glared at me. “Gibt es ein Problem?” he asked, which I sort of understood. He sounded irritated, that much I could tell.

“No, Konig…” I said, standing up and giving him a pat on the shoulder as I walked by. “Just keep up the English lessons, ok?”

He scowled. “Verpiss dich… Start learning German and maybe I will.” He retorted, and I waved at him dismissively from behind my back.

I stuck my head into the fridge, grabbing a Yuengling and one of Konig’s beers. I walked back and placed them both next to him. Like instinct, he took each one and hooked their lid onto the edge of the table, then smacked the side of his hand down on the tops, sending the lid clattering to the ground. He opened my beer and handed it to me, then repeated the process with his, before reaching down and collecting the lids. He added them to the pile, totaling six beer lids so far.

If someone had shown me this image a year ago – Konig and I, sitting up late into the night, chatting like we’d known each other for decades… not to mention the fact that I was so unusually open with him… I would have been insulted. I would have laughed. No one would have been able to convince me that I would become so attached to anyone else after what had happened with the 141. Yet, all of this felt so natural. It was beyond how I felt that Konig and I were kindred spirits… it really did feel like I’d known him before. Maybe, he reminded me of a part of myself that I tried to bury away.

Or, maybe, I was just submitting to loneliness and trying to justify how quickly I clung to the first available soul. That was also an embarrassing possibility, one that I would rather not admit to.

“I have a question for you.” Konig’s voice and the clink of his beer bottle on the table brought me back to reality.

“I might have an answer.” I replied.

He looked off to the side, perhaps wondering whether or not he really wanted to ask the question. “Who did you kill? And why?”

Just like that, I felt the walls being built right back to where I had them. Bonding time’s over. Back to square one.

His inquiry caught me off guard. I froze, my bottle hovering in the air before I could take a sip, my eyes glued to the table. Just the mention of the incident brought the painful memories up to the surface, like claws scraping at the dirt, digging up the deepest roots.

“Lots of people.” I said, deflecting. I took a swig of my beer.

“You know what I mean.” He scoffed. “Why did you end up in military prison?” He leaned over the table – clearly not planning on letting the topic go.

I sucked my teeth, staring at him defiantly – moments ago, it was pleasant talking to him. Now, I was fighting back the urge to leave him at the table and go to my dorm. I felt ambushed at how he had changed the subject so abruptly. Like he had been waiting for me to carelessly stumble into the trap, and now he was watching me snarl from within it.

He leaned back with a sigh. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I just thought we were getting somewhere here.”

“Oh?” I said dryly, cocking an eyebrow. “’Getting somewhere?’ What’s that sup-“

“Hey, it’s ok.” He raised his hands defensively. “I get it. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” His words were forgiving, but his eyes said something else – I knew what he was thinking.

Weak.

I gave him a hateful stare. Fucker know how to play his cards.

“I killed a sergeant.” I admitted. “My lieutenant’s right-hand man.”

That got Konig’s attention. He leaned forward again, putting his bottle off to the side. “Why?” he asked again.

I inhaled deeply, then exhaled, as I leaned back in my chair. My eyes fell to the floor as I forced myself to recall the memories. “In Egypt, a while back. Don’t ask when because I won’t tell you.” I warned Konig, and he huffed – but obliged.

I continued. “We were going in to retrieve a hostile target. Everyone was jumpy – me included. It was dark, and we didn’t know what to expect. After the hostiles started to engage, we were scattered. I got stuck in one tower, so I went upstairs to try and make a foxhole.”

I paused. It was now my own hands, covered in dirt, clawing at the roots of the memory. Each word I said was painful, yet somehow felt overshared. Like I was trying to get Konig to pity me. Except I wasn’t – I just wanted him to listen.

And that’s exactly what he did. No comforting shoulder pat, no soothing words… he just listened. He knew that if he stepped on the wrong spot, it would break my openness, like a branch breaking under his foot would disturb the silence of the woods.

“The sergeant – ‘Flare’ – he was up there, too. I thought we’d had the same idea, but… holy fuck…” I ran a hand down my face, feeling my heartbeat grow faster. “At first, I didn’t know what he was doing, I just heard him making those sounds and I thought he’d been hit, but… he was taking advantage of this – this woman – and with her kids right fucking there… she was probably just trying to hide, to hide them, she had to be so fucking scared… he didn’t even stop when I found him, I don’t know if he even heard me screaming at him.”

I paused, almost waiting for Konig to say or do something, but he remained silent. Despite my eyes never leaving the floor, I could see his blue ones watching me carefully. Concerned, patient, and calm.

“I didn’t know what else to do.” I said, my voice faltering the slightest bit. “So I shot him. In the head.” I unintentionally shivered. “Probably traumatized that poor woman and her kids, but… quick decisions aren’t the best ones.”

I ended my rant with a heavy sip of my beer. Konig continued watching me with wary eyes, which I ignored. I didn’t need consolation, or sympathy, or whatever he might try to offer. Somehow, he seemed to understand that.

“I would have done the same thing.” He commented.

Would you?

After a moment, he exhaled. “I don’t understand… I’d say you were in the right. Why did they put you in prison for that?”

I chewed my lip. “There was… some speculation, that I was jealous of his position. We’d been close throughout my time with the team, and when he got the promotion to second-in-command, I was a bit envious at first. People thought I was taking my anger out on him in what seemed like the perfect opportunity to lie.” I took another sip. “But I was happy for him. He worked hard, and he deserved it. But then the pressure got to him – Lieutenant was always depending on him for too much, and Flare couldn’t handle the responsibility. If he slipped up, it was a lot worse than if one of the rest of us did. I guess… the pressure is what got him in the end. Made him crazy in the end. He didn’t have any morals anymore.”

More silence. It felt uncomfortably loud – Konig’s stare seemed to make my head ring, making me fidget and bounce my knee. I wanted to snap at him. What are you looking at? Why are you asking so many fucking questions? But I was able to keep my anger at bay, justifying the situation by assuming his questions were fueled by nothing more than curiosity.

I figured I had said enough for the night, and finished off the rest of my beer. I slapped my leg, the telltale sign that I was getting ready to turn in.

Konig ignored it, or seemed to not notice. “Why did you kill him?” he asked.

I narrowed my eyes in confusion. “Why did I? What do you mean?”

“Why kill him? Why not just… disable him for the moment, and let your commander deal with him later?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but my voice was a second too late. “Again… in the heat of the moment, you don’t make distinctions like that. You think: ‘shoot,’ or ‘don’t shoot.’ And shooting him was the choice I made.”

Konig’s gaze became scrutinous. He knew I was lying about something… he was hellbent on figuring out what.

He’s going to have to wait a long damn time.

“Goodnight, Konig.” I said flatly. I collected my bottles, getting up from the table. With a clang, I tossed them into the bin by the exit, walking down the hall and leaving Konig sitting alone in the mess hall. I feel tears stinging my eyes, but that’s all they did. It’s all just water under the bridge, y/n. Get it together. You’re alright.

-----

Taglist: @igotmajordaddyissues @princekonig @vixionix

[yukidragon]

Our Life Snippet - Lazy Morning Intimacy

So, who’s ready for an extra long serving of shameless fluff from the first draft of my fan novelization of Our Life: Beginnings & Always? My philosophy in writing this is if I can add some more fluffy cuddly moments, I absolutely will, and the Step 3 moment Reflection offers one such opportunity right at the very start before, well, those of you who have played this moment know what happens later.

Spoilers for those who have not played the Step 3 DLC! If you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t read any further! If you don’t mind spoilery stuff, well, don’t let me stop you, but I highly, highly encourage you to play through the game before reading any of this.

As always, thanks go to @gb-patch for their wonderful game and their lovely feedback for my work, as well as everyone who likes, reblogs, and comments on these clips I’m posting here. You are all awesome.  💖

...

It wasn’t often that Jamie had the chance to enjoy breakfast at the Holden house. Ever since their parents decreed that they were ‘too old’ for sleepovers, she and Cove didn’t have many opportunities to enjoy that particular meal together, which made today a rare treat. It wasn’t especially fancy fare, but it was lovely to be able to spend time with her boyfriend almost as soon as she woke up. She was glad she impulsively asked if he wanted to have breakfast with her when they exchanged their usual good morning texts.

After a pleasant meal filled with light conversation and tasty food, Cove invited Jamie to retreat to his room to relax and let the lazy morning linger before any big activities began. That was, if they didn’t just decide to take it easy for the rest of the day. Neither of them had any plans in particular, with no prior commitments with friends, family, or work to distract them from just spending the day together. It wasn’t officially a date day, per say, or at least neither of them called it that yet. So far, they just decided to do whatever came to mind while enjoying each other’s company.

Of course, the first thing that came to Jamie’s mind was to cuddle with her boyfriend. When Cove sat down onto the bed, she didn’t hesitate to take a seat beside him, leaning into him. He hummed happily in approval and looped an arm around her to pull her in even closer.

A mischievous smile tugged at her lips as a new thought came to mind, and Jamie leaned in even closer. Cove raised an eyebrow at expression, only to yelp when she unexpectedly pushed her weight into him and tipped him back onto the bed. She fell along with him, giggling as they tumbled onto the mattress

Cove let out a chuckle of his own once he recovered from his surprise. “When I said we could relax, I didn’t mean going back to bed,” he said with a wry smile. Even still, he allowed her to nudge him gently back to the headboard so that they could both lounge comfortably on the bed properly with their heads resting on the pillows side by side. 

Jamie flashed Cove a satisfied grin before she snuggled up against his side, nuzzling her cheek against his as she basked in his gentle warmth. “You also said to make myself comfortable,” she teased, her eyes sparkling playfully as she rested her arm across his chest. “I’m very comfortable like this.”

Cove felt his heartbeat quicken, and he smiled back fondly at Jamie, nuzzling her cheek in return. “Me too,” he said softly.

Though maybe he was a little too comfortable.

Cove couldn’t help but be aware of the fact that they were both lying in his bed together. A prickling of nerves rose up that he quickly did his best to tamp down to not ruin the intimate moment they were sharing. It was fine, no big deal, he told himself. They were both fully dressed, on top of the sheets, and it was broad daylight. They cuddled plenty of times like this before on sofas and the ground. Heck, this was nothing compared to when they shared a bed when they were younger.

The flickering of nervousness didn’t escape Jamie’s notice. She softened her expression and reached up to gently run her fingers through her shy boyfriend’s hair. She had intended to steal a kiss or two and see where that would take them, but she decided that could wait until later. Just enjoying this moment with Cove was enough for her.

The touch was soothing, and Cove slowly started to relax as he leaned into Jamie. The anxious air that had threatened to pull him out of the moment gradually dissipated as her comforting warmth slowly settled in. Soon, he felt at ease enough to slip his arm back around her, which she happily used as her new pillow. He couldn’t help but smile at seeing the content expression on his partner’s face as she smiled softly back at him.

A comfortable silence washed over the pair as they simply enjoyed the quiet moment of intimacy. At some point, Jamie went from stroking Cove’s hair to toying with it. His ponytail limited her in how much she could card her fingers through his hair, but there were plenty of long locks to ripple between her fingers.

It wasn’t the first time Jamie got the impulse to play with her boyfriend’s hair. Even before he was officially - or even unofficially - her boyfriend, she couldn’t help but want to run her fingers through those pretty pale green strands. When they were younger, Cove would jokingly try to avoid her hands, but always ‘failed’ to escape in the end, allowing her to have her way. Sometimes she teased him back by pretending to give up, and he would always pout adorably, which she would immediately chase away with a satisfying ruffle of his hair.

Occasionally, Jamie would go beyond playing to actual styling. She was no professional, but it was fun to wind her boyfriend’s hair into a braid or two sometimes. Cove never minded, even if the braids rarely lasted that long after she was finished making them. It also didn’t escape her notice that he would sometimes shiver or let out an adorable pleasured little mumble when she raked her fingers along his scalp. It was an enjoyable experience for both of them, and sometimes she suspected that was one of the reasons why he let his hair grow as long as he did.

Jamie had no such grand designs now. Today she simply basked in the freedom to enjoy the feeling of his soft hair sliding between her fingers as she listened to the happy noises her partner occasionally let slip.

Although much more at ease, Cove couldn’t help the small traces of nervous energy that left him with the need to do something with his hands. He ran his thumb across her shoulder with the hand that was limited by Jamie resting on the upper part of his arm. With his freer hand, he decided to return the favor she paid to him and ran his fingers through her long deep blue hair, starting with stroking back her bangs before sliding his hand down along the entire length of her hair until he reached the ends at her hips. The feeling was soft and silky, and she sighed softly at the attention.

On impulse, Cove poked one of the small buns on top of his girlfriend’s head. Space buns were her preferred hairstyle of choice nowadays, and there was something satisfying about poking them that he couldn’t quite explain. Maybe it was the feel of them, or the way the bunched up hair bounced when poked that did it, but most likely it was because of the amused looks Jamie gave him whenever he did. She wore one such expression now, and he couldn’t help but chuckle a bit before giving her bun another playful poke.

Entertained, Jamie let Cove have her way with her buns, poking and prodding them as he pleased. The potential for innuendo wasn’t lost on her, but she let it go unsaid. As fun as it would be to make him flustered by suggesting that he might enjoy playing with a different set of buns she had even more, she didn’t want to interrupt the light, playful moment.

Jamie would just save that little bit of wordplay for later, preferably when the mood was good enough that Cove might take her up on the invitation.

Despite the steamy thoughts that skirted through her mind, Jamie did her best to focus on enjoying the lazy moment between them. It was lovely to just share such casual intimacy with Cove.

Jamie wasn’t alone in trying to ignore her more hormonal urges. As much as Cove enjoyed playing with her hair, focusing on touching her as he did made it impossible for him to stop thinking about the fact that they were both lying on his bed together. He was keenly aware of the gentle warmth of her body pressed against him, how soft and inviting her pink lips looked as she smiled at him.

Eventually, Cove realized he needed something else to occupy his hands if he didn’t want to risk disrupting the peaceful moment. Shifting about a bit, he fished his cell phone out of his pocket. Although Jamie raised an eyebrow at that and at being displaced from her cozy spot when he moved around, she held no objections as he turned his phone on and busied himself with it. Instead, she simply readjusted her position to get comfortable once he was settled again.

Sifting through missed texts and emails, Cove soon managed to distract himself from the urges that ruffled his nerves and relaxed back into the moment. He spotted a number of texts he missed from his dad, and for a moment he wondered if everything was okay until he realized Cliff just sent him a bunch of images last night.

A warm smile graced his face as Cove slowly scrolled his way through the photographs, nostalgia washing over him. Each photo brought him back to the moment it was taken, allowing him to lose himself in the priceless memories he shared with his friends, family, and especially the special person he held so comfortably close at that very moment.

Some photos brought back sweet memories, others a little more on the bitter side of sweet, and then there were the funnier ones. One such silly photo seized Cove’s attention, and he couldn’t help the burst of laughter that escaped him.

The sound immediately snapped Jamie out of her relaxed stupor and brought her back to the present. She raised an eyebrow at Cove, but he failed to notice her questioning look, too preoccupied by whatever was on his phone’s screen.

“What’s so funny?” Jamie asked as she propped herself up on her arm to get a better look at his face and catch a glimpse of the phone’s screen.

Cove finally turned to look at Jamie, his eyes crinkled with mirth and a smirk playing on his lips. “Dad scanned some old photos,” he chuckled. “You know…”

Now that Jamie was no longer using his arm as a pillow, Cove was free to use it to draw a rectangle in the air. “Printed out ones,” he explained, “back from when I was little.” He waved his phone a bit with his other hand. “He texted it all to me last night, I guess. I’ve been checking them out.”

Jamie sat up completely, her dark blue eyes flying open wide. “You were looking at your kiddie photos and didn’t tell me?!” she gasped, almost scandalized at missing out on something so priceless.

Cove barely resisted the urge to chuckle, offering Jamie a bent smile as his eyes narrowed playfully. “I was gonna show you.” His gaze then slid away to his phone as his expression turned a little more hesitant. “I just wanted to look at it first to make sure there was nothing super embarrassing. You never know with my dad.”

His mouth pulled into a grimace as Cove could easily imagine all sorts of horrors his dad might have captured on film to unintentionally humiliate him until the end of time. “I mean… what if there’s a photo of me getting potty trained or something?”

Although Jamie empathized with his worries, she couldn’t help but giggle at the fraught expression Cove wore. “Yeah, that sounds like something your dad would do.”

Cove could only respond by clearing his throat nervously, his eyes skirting away from Jamie as he sat up as well. While he hadn’t come across any particularly humiliating photo of himself, he couldn’t quite shake the fear of what his dad’s well-meaning actions might have left for him to deal with this time.

Jamie offered her boyfriend a sympathetic smile before adding a slight bent to it. “Hey, how about this - if you let me look at your embarrassing baby photos, I’ll show you just as many of mine. My moms have plenty of them.”

The offer was tempting. Cove couldn’t help but wonder what sort of photos Jamie had in mind, but the price was just too steep. He merely chuckled awkwardly and shook his head as he pointedly kept his phone tilted away from her. She huffed and puffed out her cheeks in a mock pout at him for holding out on her, which elicited a genuine bout of laughter from him.

Once Cove got his mirth under control, he smiled at Jamie. “Anyway, before we forget, I was laughing ‘cause I came across a Halloween one from when I was eight. The year I was a zombie, remember?”

Jamie dropped her faux pout and nodded, her eyes lighting up eagerly. Cove shook his head at her excitement, a wry grin gracing his face as he finally offered the phone to her.

As Cove watched Jamie eagerly turn to his phone, he couldn’t help but shake his head again, this time at his kid self. “I never even liked zombies!” he said, a little baffled that he ever was so enthusiastic for such a costume. “All I wanted was to show off my new scar. And I needed to be something scary. I couldn’t be a normal person who had a scar, according to my eight-year-old mind.”

The photo displayed on the screen showed Cove from ten years in the past, and a pleasant wave of nostalgia washed over Jamie as she saw him the way he looked when they first met, minus the pink cast and plus a fair amount of makeup and fake blood. Little Cove posed for the camera with his fingers hooked like claws, his mouth open as though letting out what was probably supposed to be a fierce roar. She could easily remember the noises he made that night as he pretended to be a zombie on the hunt for brains. His hair looked even more wild and disheveled than it did after the most energetic day of play, going well with the tattered and ‘blood’ stained button up shirt he wore. His face was painted in gray down to his neck, marred with an array of fake scars that couldn’t compare to the real one on his arm.

Cove looked from Jamie to the phone and chuckled softly at the face his younger self pulled for the camera. “I was a little dork.”

Jamie eyed Cove at such self-depreciation before poking him on the nose. “You were a little cutie,” she insisted. “And now you’re a big cutie.”

Cove blinked at the playful action before blushing at the compliment. He had no words to reply to it except for a quiet, flustered chuckle as he rubbed his nose.

Jamie grinned at that reaction before turning back to the photo. As much as she enjoyed how adorable Cove looked while pretending to be a fierce monster, it was impossible to ignore the scar displayed so predominantly on his arm at that time. Her smile softened at the edges at the sight of such a large, jagged line of fresh skin that was such a deep and angry shade of red. The scar was a pale memory in the present, but back then it looked so painful, and at the time she found it hard not to worry about him and his comfort after his cast came off.

Still, Jamie refused to let that put a damper on the story and focused instead on just how much fun little Cove was having posing for the camera and remembering the way they played around with their costumes that night. She could vividly recall how she pretended to run away from him when he playfully growled that he wanted to eat her brains, and the memory made her smile grow stronger.

“Dad really wanted to be useful, as usual,” Cove said, bringing Jamie’s attention back to him in the present. Though he noticed the flicker of sadness that crossed her face and realized the reason for it, he was glad to see her perk up again just as quickly. “He came up with the idea of being an undead person. It was pretty good, huh?”

Jamie chuckled softly and nodded. “You had the best Halloween costume that year, hands down,” she said playfully. “I remember you getting lots of extra candy when adults realized the scar was real.” Her smile widened as she remembered just how jealous Lizzie had been at how much candy Cove got that year, especially since he only offered to share some of that extra candy with Jamie. “It must have been your greatest Halloween haul ever.”

Cove couldn’t help but chuckle as well as he thought back to that legendary candy haul as well. It took him a month to finish it all even with Jamie’s help.

Still, the topic of his scar brought his gaze back to the picture. Cove couldn’t help but compare the way it looked in the photo to its current appearance on his left arm. “I can’t believe how much larger my scar used to be,” he said quietly.

Jamie watched as Cove turned his focus to his arm with a soft smile on his face. He traced his fingers along the jagged line of pale flesh that remained with him even ten years on. It was an action that she had seen him do countless times, but it felt more significant in that moment.

A soft sigh escaped Cove, but his eyes and tone were playful. “Look at how tiny it is now.” He gave Jamie a look with big, pathetic eyes. “How am I gonna pretend to be tough without a big scar?”

It was a struggle for Jamie not to laugh at the expression Cove wore. “You better not do anything stupid to get a new scar,” she joked with a faux disapproving frown as she wagged a finger at him. “No matter how much you like them!”

Cove grinned back at Jamie. “I won’t.”

“Good,” Jamie said with a satisfied nod. “You’ve already got the coolest scar, no matter how small it gets.”

Cove felt his cheeks grow warm and his smile turned bashful. “Thanks.” He ducked his head away from Jamie, pleased with their joking exchange. Once again, his eyes drifted down to his scar as he continued to trace it.

“I really do like having this,” he admitted in a soft, shy voice. “Even if it is kind of little these days.”

Jamie’s expression softened as well, feeling as though Cove was sharing a big secret with her. She couldn’t help but feel happy to hear that he liked his scar despite whatever pain it must have caused him to get it. It was always wonderful whenever he opened up to her like this.

Cove glanced up at Jamie, a gentle smile gracing his lips. “I like yours, too.”

The unexpected compliment caught Jamie off guard, and heat rose in her cheeks, turning them pink. She couldn’t help but smile as she felt her chest flutter with butterflies. He never failed to think of her as well, especially since he knew that she was self-conscious of her own scars.

Unthinkingly, Jamie brought her hand up to her upper arm and traced some of the countless jagged little white lines that marred her pale skin. There were matching scars in the same place on her other arm, as well as her thighs and her chest. Unlike Cove, these scars were not the result of an accident, but her skin not being able to keep up with her sudden growth during puberty.

Back during her early teenage years when the stretch marks were fresh and an angry purplish-red, Jamie always kept them hidden. Puberty had been rough on her, dealing a blow to her self-esteem as well as her body, and being covered in so many scars left her feeling ugly even though she never once thought of Cove’s scar like that.

It took time for Jamie to accept her scars, and she knew that Cove was a big part of why. Seeing the way he took such quiet pride in his scar always made her question how she thought of hers. More than that, he always made her feel beautiful, and he was always the first to remind her  whenever she needed it. That was why she was no longer afraid to wear clothes that exposed her scars like she did now.

Jamie scooted in closer to Cove as she smiled adoringly at him, placing her hand on top of his. “Thank you, Cove.”

Cove turned back to face Jamie fully. He finally let go of his scar so that he could take her hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. He felt at peace with his scar and was happy to see the same reflected on her face as well. Their scars held such meaning to them despite coming from unhappy sources.

Jamie squeezed his hand back as she drifted even closer. “Could I touch your scar?”

Cove blinked, taken aback by the request. Usually, Jamie wasn’t shy about touching him without asking first, particularly someplace as innocent as his arm. Still, he quickly realized why she might hesitate to do that now and smiled gently at her as he nodded easily. “Yeah, that’s okay.”

Jamie gave Cove’s hand one more squeeze before letting go of it. Lightly, she pressed her fingertips against the edges of his scar. With great care, she slowly ran her thumb along the entire length of it, following the jagged angles the old wound took. The pale flesh was rough when compared to the rest of his skin, which was soft, but with goosebumps rising quickly along his arm as she stroked his scar.

The touch, so delicate and gentle, left Cove feeling a bit lightheaded. Jamie’s touch always felt wonderful and often left him feeling butterflies, but somehow the feel of her paying such careful attention to his scar was particularly powerful. A choked breath escaped him and a wobbly smile played across his face as he lost himself in the feeling.

The dizzied smile Cove wore along with the light pink of his cheeks drew Jamie in with the urge to do more. She locked eyes with him, staring deep into his aquamarine eyes as she took a hold of his arm and raised it up towards her.

A quiet gasp escaped Cove when she realized what Jamie had in mind. He couldn’t look away from her dark blue eyes as she stared so intently into him even as she placed a soft kiss on the old wound that marked him. The feeling of her lips, warm and soft, pressed so tenderly against that particular place sent shivers up his spine, and he let out a tiny squeak.

Jamie smiled against Cove’s skin as she appreciated his adorable reaction, as well as the way he looked at her with overwhelming adoration. She kissed him again and again, tracing the entire length of his scar with her lips like she did with her fingers before.

It was impossible for Cove to stay still when Jamie was showing him such affection. He reached up with his free hand to touch her arm. With his thumb, he brushed aside the edge of her open sleeve, giving him better access to the countless little white lines marking her pale skin. The texture was interesting, feeling so similar yet so different from his own scar. Because of their size and number, he found his fingers constantly alternating between soft skin and rougher tissue. It was difficult to trace any one scar from start to finish like she did for him, so instead he sought out to touch every single one.

The touch was electric, and Jamie could feel her heartbeat speed up as Cove caressed her so lovingly. “Cove…”

Cove shivered again as Jamie murmured his name against his skin, setting off sparks that made his body burn pleasantly. It urged him to lean forward, his eyes gleaming with the fire she set ablaze inside him.

Jamie raised her head and instinctively matched his movement, drawing nearer to Cove as her eyes drifted closed. She felt his lips gently meet hers, and she melted into the tender kiss. She held a little more firmly onto his arm as she fell deeper into him, feeling like she might drown in the depths of her feelings for him.

Cove all too quickly lost himself in the moment and in Jamie. It felt so wonderful, so right to be her like this, to touch and kiss her. He loved her so much that it was almost overwhelming, but knowing that she loved him as well kept him grounded.

Eventually they finally drifted apart, breathless and dazed from the kiss, their faces flushed with heat. When Jamie opened her eyes, she saw Cove gazing back at her with his mesmerizing ocean blue eyes. The look he gave her was spellbinding, filled with so much love and adoration that made her heart hammer hard against her ribcage. It told her without words that the feelings he had for her were just as immense as hers were for him.

Cove leaned in again, this time resting his forehead gently against Jamie’s. With heavy lidded eyes, he simply enjoyed gazing deeply into her blue eyes that always reminded him of the night sky. No matter how many times he saw them, they always captivated him. He could lose himself in those beautiful eyes of hers.

The feeling of his warm breath tickling her skin made Jamie shiver a little, especially the way it brushed against her lips like the ghost of a kiss. With their heads touching, his hand on her arm and hers on his, she felt entirely entwined with Cove. It felt so right.

Time ceased to have any meaning in that moment as they gazed deeply into their partner’s eyes and drank in the closeness and warmth they shared. Seconds or minutes might have passed, but neither of them cared as they lost themselves in each other.

[inlovewithhisblueeyes]

Last Minute

Pairing: August Walker x Reader

Prompt: Someone write me a pic where you somehow convince August Walker, your next door neighbor, to babysit to you dog/cat whenever you’re away. Then one day you come back from wherever the hell you went to, he slips up and says “Our son/daughter missed you.”

Word Count: ~2k

Warnings: Mentions of nudity and the morning after, implied sexual activities

A/N: This is a Christmas present for the wonderful @raspberrydreamclouds​ who also wrote the prompt. I hope you enjoy!

A/N 2: I decided to give my own dog, Paris, a chance to play a starring role in one of my stories. She’s definitely a character.

Shimmering rays of gold slipped into the room on the gentle morning breeze. August had woken up a short while earlier to find that the spot beside him on the bed was cold and empty. He had been retired from his life as the Hammer for a few years now. The skills of observation that August had prided himself had completely vanished as soon last night’s romp slipped into his life. The only thing that comforted him was the fact that he could hear the shower turning on. With a groan, the blue-eyed devil removed his legs from where they were tangled up in the sheets and rose to his feet.

Where he had expected to feel the clothes that had been discarded from his latest tryst, August had only felt the cool wooden floor. Glancing around, he noticed that his clothes had been folded up and placed on the dresser. He could just barely remember a soft voice teasing him about making a mess. His arms reached out above his head as he yawned before one of his hands scratches down through the fur on his chest. It just narrowly misses brushing up against his impatient cock. The man remained perplexed while racking his head for the memories of last night.

He chuckled and just then he heard a tender lilt steaming out from the bathroom.

“Hold me close and hold me fast”

This voice was incredibly familiar to him, yet August couldn’t place where he had heard it before.

“The magic spell you cast.”

He couldn’t refrain being drawn into it like a ship in the night. He needed to know who this angel was.

“This is La vie en rose”

Steam seeped out from the cracked doorway as he crept closer.

“When you kiss me, heaven sighs”

The former agent slowly pushed the door the rest of the way open carefully so he didn’t alert his songbird.

“And though I close my eyes”

The glass of the shower door was all fogged up and August could scarcely make out the curve of her breast. Who was she?

“I see La vie en rose”

Her face turned away from the door and he leaned up against the doorframe, content with listening to her siren song. The mystery woman continued to hum the rest of the song as she swayed under the warm water. As if she was listening to his prayers, she slowly turned around. One glance at her face and the bewhiskered man saw that it was you. With a crook of your finger, you drew him closer to your heavenly body. August reached out to open the shower door and-

A sonorous snort yanked August away from your teasing ways. He immediately sat up and searched his bed for your sleeping form; however, he had the rude awakening that his visions of you were just an incredibly realistic dream. He only found your mutt happily snoring away belly up in the middle of his bed. The blue-eyed devil ran a hand down his face as he glanced at the sun just rising in the distance. Scratching his mustache, August considered his options. Option one consisted of moving the snuffling mutt that had stolen his bed from him, but the chances of waking the needy pup up were high. He wasn’t particularly in the mood for getting attacked with affection this early.

Option two was abandoning his bed for a dog free couch, yet he had a feeling the pup would trail after him. She was rather attached to him which is why you had asked him to watch her. When August had moved in a few years ago, the clingy dog had gotten off her harness and ran all the way back to your townhouse. She happened upon August as he was sitting outside and instantaneously attached herself to his lap. Normally, dogs could sense that he wasn’t the best of men around and would leave him be. This mutt, your little Paris, had decided the former agent was the best person to run to.

Now he had seen you with her a few times and knew that this rascal was never allowed outside with her harness. So when she happened to be outside sans harness and running around freely, August immediately knew he had a runaway pup. By the time you had finally arrived back to your townhouse, which happened to be right next to his own, you were noticeably in tears with the harness and leash in hand as you called out for her. Paris had decided to not even stir from where she decided to rest on his lap and the bewhiskered man had decided it was better to wait for you to return.

He was never good with tears especially when they came from a pretty lady. Even stranger in that moment he wanted to perhaps be the reason the stopped. It was a puzzling thought. August called over to you and let you know that he had your runaway pup. Your cries immediately stopped and you ran towards him, thanking him profusely. Once you had the naughty dog back on her harness, you had hugged him. Given that he was just recently retired from his life as the Hammer, John Lark, and all the other names he went by, August had distinctly noticed how your body seemed to slot up just right against his.

Thinking back, he had never received a hug or any commendation for any of the various contributions he made to his country’s security. It shocked him at first and then it was over before he could even get used to it. You thanked him profusely and in that moment he realized he wanted to hear your voice say his name any way he could get you to. This is the very reason why he had agreed to be your saving grace when your usual sitter had backed out. By this point, he had spent some time getting to know you; there had been a few dinners at each others places and trips to the movies. You had made him welcome in his new home and he didn’t want to mess this up like he had in the past.

August wanted to fuck you of course, it had been awhile since he had the pleasure of someone other than his right hand. But, it was your personality, your beliefs, your way of giving love to those who needed it most, that had really drawn him in. You had rescued Paris and had rehabilitated her and his troubled soul wanted you to do the same for him. You had a lightness in you, an innate goodness, that reached out and soothed the tattered remains of his dark heart. The former secret agent found himself actively seeking you out when he felt he hadn’t seen you in a while. He wanted to spend as much time in your presence as he could.

Granted this desire led to him watching the mutt which he was definitely handling well. It was just a dog after all, a very needy, attached to his hip, dog. Another obnoxious snort broke him from his reflections. It had only been one night so far and he only had three more days of this. He could do this and prove to himself that he doesn’t destroy everything good in his life. It was then he noticed how high the sun was in the sky and decided it was best to get started with his first full day with the mangy mutt. With a slight groan, August rose from his bed and made his way to the kitchen. He was going to need all the caffeine he could get to handle this overexcited bundle of fuzz.

After two cups of coffee, he had deemed himself ready to take the ball of fluff out for her morning walk. The man prayed to whatever was out there that the mutt wouldn’t get off her harness. He really did not have to call you and let you know that he had lost your dog. That would not bode well for his plan of a future with you. The pup was easy enough to wrangle into her harness as soon as he mentioned the magic word walk. August had to laugh at how fast her tail was wagging at the prospect of going out. He was certainly beginning to understand the appeal behind owning a dog.

The two slipped out of the house and into the cold morning air. He allowed the dog to lead him wherever she wanted to go. She seemed eager to sniff various spots along the way and walk at a leisurely pace. It was refreshing to be out in the open air like this even if he was stuck there with the mutt. The rest of the walk continued without issue that was until she caught the scent of home. The poor thing tried dragging him back to her home, but August stood his ground as she whimpered. The sound just might have broken his heart when he realized for the first time that she missed you probably much more than he did.

“Paris! Puppy! You see here, Paris. I miss your mommy too. Luckily you only have to be without her for a few days. Alright pup? Now let’s go have some breakfast. If you come willingly, I might just let you snuggle up on my lap,” the bewhiskered man murmured starring down at the sad dog.

At the mention of food, she immediately bounced back to being the overeager pup he knew her to be. The rest of the days passed by in a similar manner. He would get up, walk the pup, remind her that her mommy would be home soon, feed her, and cuddle with her which he was slowly starting to enjoy. The pure unadulterated love that poured out of this tiny thing soothed him just how you did. He could definitely get used to this puppy love. August had almost forgotten that this furry baby wasn’t even his by the time you returned home. The pup had nestled herself right into his world like she had been a part of it all along.

The chime of the doorbell had the puppy leaping from his lap in circus of barking and jumping. August paused the movie he was watching and he made his way over to the door, careful to avoid tripping over his excited baby. He opened the door to reveal you waiting patiently. If he thought Paris had been going nuts before, it was nothing compared to this display of affection.

“Par-bear!!!,” You squealed as you stepped into the house.

You bent down in front of your puppy and were greeted with a flurry of kisses that August feeling a bit left out.

“How was she?” You beamed up at him.

“Paris was great. Honestly, none of the things you were concerned about came to pass. Our daughter did seem to miss you a little bit,” August admitted as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Our daughter?!?” You questioned with a smirk that could rival one of his.

He could feel the color drawn from his face as he sputtered, desperate to come up with a way to save his from this mess. You stood up and gently placed a hand on his arm before giving his bicep a squeeze.

“Is this your way of finally asking me out?” You teased as a bright smile appeared on your face.

The blue-eyed man could only nod yes not trusting his voice in that very moment.

“Well Paris seems to love you so I’d be happy to go out with you sometime. You know how to reach me.”

In that moment, August was grateful for the fateful day Paris had gotten of her harness. Maybe someone out there was looking out for him after all.

[fullycakedup-brownie]

Thank you, lemonheads

Disclaimer: non-pandemic AU; winter setting; fluff; a pinch of spice to make everything nice; swearing; Length: 3906 words; Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen AU; Characters: Yuuji/Sukuna x Black!Fem!Reader

The alarm did not go off at 7 am since it was Saturday, yet your eyes have been wide open for about one hour. The sun rays brought light on the ashy winter sky and you lazily shifted in your bed to check the time. How is it only 7:47 while I feel I’ve been laying here forever? You asked yourself in a deep sigh before you threw away the blanket and sat up on the edge of the bed. A life-saving decision you had taken the night before when you braided your hair, for not a single molecule in your body was able to deal with those shoulder-length thick curls after you wasted your night staring at the ceiling. Your body has developed a habit to wake up around 1 am for no particular reason and have you losing your mind over it. Usually, you managed to fall back asleep quickly, but that night between Friday and Saturday you just couldn’t. No one was online on any social media platform, you knew it would take you more time than available to pick one of the thirty million shows that you wanted to catch up on and you didn’t want to fuck up your night completely, so you forced yourself back into slumber. But now it was morning, your eyes tired and your body heavy.

With your mind set on still having a wonderful free weekend, you rummaged through the cabinets in the lovely apartment you had been thrilled to finally afford, in a futile attempt to grab a bite. You breathed deeply while counting down from ten after finding exactly half of a package of Lemonheads and some leftover seafood on a plate in the fridge. The initial plan was abandoned with the calamari as you headed for the bathroom, knowing for a fact that a nice scrubbing session during a dangerously hot shower will whoosh away all the fatigue and annoyance.

Fresh smell, moisturized gleaming skin, proud dark-brown eyes staring at you from the mirror made you put on a cheeky smile and leave the bathroom barefoot. One step into your bedroom and your stomach almost shouted at you. Ah, I do gotta eat something. McDonald’s it is, then. You were quick to agree to yourself and also to get dressed and leave the house. It has been snowing for a few days so the pavements were covered in a dense layer of white wonder, which made you decide to walk to the breakfast provider, instead of driving there. It wasn’t that far and you also loved the city landscapes.

The neon-yellow combat boots contrasted considerably with the red coat and drew the attention of the entire crowd inside McDonald’s, including one specific young man that was sitting alone at a table in the back. He watched your silhouette walk by a group of boys that didn’t even try to mask their reaction to your looks as you headed to the line to place your order.

“Even I know that it’s not nice to stare,” Sukuna talked all of a sudden, startling poor Itadori and causing him to sink his head deeper in the hood.

“Shut up, someone could hear you,” the boy whispered, looking down on his tray to avoid being heard by other customers.

“Is that the girl you’ve been going on about lately?”

“What girl? There’s no girl. What girl?” Yuuji panicked a bit, the heart racing in his chest letting Sukuna know he was right. Again.

“It’s not that hard. Just go there, what the fuck are you so scared about?” The otherwise thoughtless demon cared to push his host up on his feet.

Swallowing his anxiety along with the gallon of saliva in his mouth, Yuuji left his table, threw the sandwich’s wrapping paper in the trash bin when he passed by and stalled in your proximity on his way out. He just wanted to see you better than he could do it on the high school corridors in the lunch break, but blame it on the coincidence theory, that was the exact moment some Lemonheads slipped from the pocket of your black cargo pants when you pulled out your phone. That was a chance he was not willing to sacrifice. He dropped in a squat, picked the wrapped candies and smiled at you.

“I think you dropped these.”

You turned your head in the direction of the familiar voice only to find the cheerfully grinning pink-haired boy that you could’ve sworn you would fight anyone for.

“Hi. Oh, yes, thanks,” you replied in a pretty much measured tone and grabbed the candies from his palm.

“I’m Yuuji, by the way.” The shot was fired and his blood started boiling under the tension of his mind analyzing all the possible ways you could’ve answered to him. You could’ve laughed, whooshed him away, cringed at his boldness, pulled away or even cut his words. But he did not expect you to shake his hand, with a big smile plastered on your face.

“Alex here. Hi. Do you wann-” the number of your order appeared on the big screen and you paused your question, “-be right back at ya,” you smiled at Yuuji and went to the lady waiting with your bag.

As soon as your eyes got away from his face, Itadori let out a brief silent sigh and filled his hoodie pocket with his fists. This is good. I can do this. What if I ask her out? He was deep in thoughts when a lady shook his shoulder. “Young man, are you ordering, or just blocking the line?” The “I’m tired of you teenagers’ attitude” look on her face disturbed Yuuji and he left the spot, joining you at the front desk.

“Wasn’t you supposed to tell me you were out of the pancake meal? Why did you take my money then?” You tried really hard to hold back some yelling, but a vein on your forehead was definitely popping out.

“What’s the matter?” The boy asked, stopping next to you.

Pure sarcasm on your face when you looked from the staff girl to Yuuji. “I shall be starving to death today.”

“Miss, we can give you something else for the same amount. My colleagues weren’t awa-“

“Just give her a refund. We’ll be fine,” Yuuji stepped in and had both you and the other girl confused.

She gave your money back a bit half-hearted, and truth be told, you were feeling like that too, not only because you were hungry, but man, you loved the pancakes and the bacon and the eggs.

“Where are we going?” You asked, following Itadori out the restaurant after he motioned you to do so.

“I always wanted to try this food, instead of the usual fast-food.”

You had no idea what he was talking about, nor where he was leading you, but your guts weren’t agitated. There was something about that boy that screamed “safety” in your ears. The trip to the unknown food place he was taking you was short and you didn’t really get the time to make any small talk. Yuuji turned his body to face you, suddenly spreading and lifting his arm high up, a cheeky grin on his face when he exclaimed, “I present you ‘Gyros’, my new obsession.”

The fact that no word came out of your mouth as you stood in front of him, with your eyes blinking quickly, wiped Yuuji’s smile away. His confidence took a hike when his hands dropped from the air, where they were pointing at the ‘Gyros’ sign. “Should we just go back to McDonald’s?” He asked, rubbing the back of his head and frowning bashfully, not only because your glare fixed him, but also because Sukuna was laughing powerfully inside his mind.

“You. You have no idea where you just brought me,” your voice sounded more serious than you intended, so you giggled on purpose to loosen the tension because Yuuji looked like he was about to pass out from embarrassment. “Boy, relax. I was kidding-“ you barely held back a laugh, “-this is not my first ride with Gyros,” you finished and rested your palm on his shoulder. The pressure in his chest got released once he realized your playful attitude and he redirected his attention to placing an order he was about to pay for entirely.

Food hits differently at the standing tables and so do conversations. There you were, eating one of your favourite foods, chatting with your newest pal and enjoying the view of the tall city buildings that surrounded you. Once he found comfort in your presence, Yuuji opened up and he appeared even cuter to you than he did before. His eyes would gleam when you found his stupid jokes funny and his loud laughter would join yours when you gossiped like two best friends. The cutest thing about Itadori that you found yourself adoring was that he closed his eyes every time he bit on the gyros. You allowed a discreet smile to form on your lips as you admired him and he wasn’t aware of it. No matter how big of a portion you would’ve bought, it couldn’t take you an eternity to finish up your plate. You actually finished yours sooner than the boy, to steal a few more seconds of watching him perform such an automatic and usual activity as eating because he looked so precious doing it.

“Here, help me up.” Yuuji’s voice pulled you out of your daydreaming just as swiftly as the fry that he pushed into your gaping mouth. You chomped on it instantly and caused Yuuji to laugh at your confused face. “Listen, are you busy today? I was wondering if we could wal-“

“Yes, let’s go,” you answered almost instantly, chugging the rest of the Sprite in the paper cup and grinning back at Yuuji who was once again flustered.

The boy’s face flushed red and he smiled at you right before wiping his lips with a napkin and gathering all the food wrapping. “Where do you want to go?” You asked, watching him have a brain glitch for having to wipe his hands on his pants because he has thrown away all the tissues.

“I was thinking of arcade games, but we don’t have to if you don’t want to, I mean…” Yuuji suggested in a low voice causing Sukuna to roll his eyes aggressively. You are even dumber than I thought, brat. The poor boy shook his head to get rid of the voice and by doing that he missed your reply.

“Hey, did you hear what I said?” You shouted, thinking that he didn’t hear you because of all those car horns on the street.

“Yeah, no, sure. Of course, we can do that instead.”

“Bruh, you’re damaged!” You shouted again and started laughing. “I said I will destroy you in the arcade,” you continued, still full-on laughing, the slight touch of your hand on his arm sending him your cheerful vibes.

“If you say so, let’s test it.” Yuuji caught some courage and sped up the pace. “Can you run in those?” He pointed at your boots and chuckled when you threw him a very offended look.

“Excuse you, I can beat you to it!” You accepted the challenge and sprinted away from Yuuji. His light-brown eyes widened in surprise and he started running.

No, you did not win the race. He was already inside RedLine VR when you managed to arrive at the doorstep, barely catching your breath. “I-… I need- … whoa… where did you get that stamina from?” The mock-neck long-sleeved top was practically suffocating you.

“I don’t know. Guess I’m gifted.” Again rubbing the back of his head bashfully, that boy could not be cuter. Or so you thought.

He led you inside the place and even helped you take your coat off as you cracked your knuckles in preparation for beating Yuuji’s ass up in video games. The coloured light from the video game’s display reflected in your gold hoop earrings as much as they reflected in your wide-open gleaming eyes. His eyes spent more time taking in the shape of your face and the colour of your skin more than they did on the actual screen. You unknowingly made him bite his bottom lip when you let out a different type of chuckle. You wanted it to sound devilish, but it didn’t come out quite like that.

Imagine her moaning with that voice, Sukuna busted in Yuuji’s mind, his own rather full of your image, and caused a deep blush on the kid’s face. It was annoying how much affect you had on Yuuji, and he tried to not look at you like that anymore.

Itadori was good at sports, not games, and you won countless rounds leisurely. Each time you shouted your victory, you clapped your hands in delight and made a funny face to Yuuji. He faked slight envy at first, his pathetic whines giving Sukuna a real headache, but eventually, your general happy state made the boy smile. If somebody observed him, they would’ve figured it out in one second that you completely entranced him. As funny as it was to see him struggling to fight you for the first place in the game, you grew bored of the arcade and suggested you went somewhere else.

“Do you want to go to a park?” Yuuji asked, his mind quickly mapping the area for the closest park.

Too many people around, huh? An evil chuckle hit the corners of the poor boy’s head and he tried to keep his secret hidden furthermore.

“A park sounds good, Yuuji. Can I call you Yuuji?” Only after you said it out loud, you remembered about the Japanese courtesy and, feeling a bit weird, you made yourself busy with putting your coat back on.

“Yeah, sure, you can call me Yu-,“ “Daddy,” his voice was cut off by Sukuna’s who whispered loudly enough for the teens around you two to hear.

“YUUJI!” He tried to mask the demon’s voice and covered the mouth on his cheek instantly. “You can call me Yuuji.” He swallowed hard and then smiled as if nothing happened.

“You’re weird, but cutely,” you said with a cheeky smile as you made your way out the room.

He followed soon after scolding his so-called co-inhabitant and walked by your side, between you and the busy road. You took your time walking to Winnemac Park since it would’ve been too much of a bother to take the bus for only one short station. Once inside the park, you felt like the world around you changed: there was undisturbed snow everywhere, Sun was slowly going down and it was silent. Your romantic side emerged and you hung your hand on Yuuji’s forearm. Your affection was electrifying, and even if he didn’t see it coming and hadn’t prepared for it, the boy accepted it gladly by sticking his hand in the hoodie big front pocket, to help your hand rest better on his arm. Fifteen minutes of walking through town have been filled with school gossip, laughing and “get-to-know-you-better” stuff, but as the cold settled down, you both became quieter.

“Hey, look.” You left Yuuji’s side by a couple of steps and you squatted down to grab something from the pavement.

“Wha-“ Boy didn’t stand a chance against your mischievous snowball attack. “Oh, you did not!” He laughed and leaned to the side to gather some snow for his part of the game.

The war was set into motion. Yuuji found it admirable that you managed to dodge many of his shots even while you almost choked on your own laughter. He loved to see you smiling and having a good time, especially because it was due to his actions. For a second, he got lost again in your smile and the snowball that you threw hit him right in the face. The hand he held a snowball in was frozen above his head, as he had prepared to throw it at you before falling in trance. He had no reaction whatsoever and it worried you a hell lot.

“I’m so sorry, Yuuji, are you ok?” You rushed closer to him and wiped the snow off his face with gentle and burning hands.

When his eyes opened, you hated yourself for falling into that old trap. His arms circled you abruptly and he intended to make you fall in the snow, but you proved more agile than he thought and you escaped. Your freedom didn’t last long, though, for he tackled you. Only, he didn’t see that you have reached the margin of the sidewalk and you would’ve fallen on your ass if it wasn’t for his strong grip. He looked astonishing towering like that over you, and not only the situation was somewhat hot, but you also hated to see him win the fight. One of your legs jerked fast and cut Yuuji’s balance, making him fall over you in the snow. Light-brown eyes met dark-brown ones and the imminent sparkle tied your insides in a tight knot. His face was so close to yours that it had you imagine what would happen if you kissed him right then and there. Yet, none of you two moved a muscle, except for the throat muscles who kept gulping timidly.

Alex and Yuuji are in a tree. K-i-s-s-i-n-g! Sukuna’s words echoed in Itadori’s mind and they added to the closeness between your face and his, making him blush deeply. He stood up slowly and helped you on your feet too. Again silence as each of you cleaned the snow off of yourselves, avoiding the awkward moment.

“So, what now? I’m not cold anymore.” You snapped out of it and gave your best to look as normal as before in front of him, even if your stomach had a watermelon-sized hole inside.

“It’s getting late and I don’t really know the city that well at night. You want me to walk you to a bus station or something?” He asked, barely holding his composure in front of you while Sukuna yelled in his mind nonsense like You’re a chicken. A loser. Fucking lame-ass, stupid motherfucker. You could’ve kissed her. You should’ve kissed her! I should’ve taken over the control and kissed her right there!

“Sure. I don’t live far from here actually, you can walk me home if you want,” you suggested, hoping that he won’t interpret it the wrong way.

The weather became surprisingly harsh after sundown and your little coat didn’t do much in protecting you. Instinctively, you neared Itadori more, lured by the warmth his body radiated. As you balanced your gravity centre from one leg to the other, constantly moving your hands to try to keep them from freezing, your hand brushed against Itadori’s, which was hanging loosely by his body. He definitely felt it because you saw his jaw clenching, but he didn’t bring it up. So you did it again.

Oh, man, she’s got balls bigger than you, Sukuna mocked his host and then proceeded to laugh. You’re not gonna do anything about it?

Your ring and middle finger brushed the side of Yuuji’s hand softly as you two continued walking. When his pinkie interlocked with yours, you were no longer cold. The hole in your stomach filled with butterflies and you could feel your heart pounding against your chest. You hated yourself for being that flustered and weak, but from the way his other fingers circled your hand, you knew the feelings would only get more intense. The dark fell rather quickly and you found yourself squeezing Yuuji’s hand, to which he chuckled.

“Are you afraid of darkness?” He asked in a low tone, caressing the back of your hand with his thumb.

“L-lol, no,” you stuttered a bit but smiled as you looked up to Yuuji, who was just teasing you with a gentle look in his eyes.

The way back home is always shorter and you reached the front door of the building you lived in with a lump in your throat. It was time to let go of his hand and maybe, who knew, let go of that moment too. You didn’t know much about Yuuji other than he was a foreign exchange student, who came for who knows how much time in Chicago, he liked Gyros as much as you and he had a lot of running stamina.

“Well, this is where I live, so… see you at school?” You asked sheepishly, slowly growing aware of the blush on Itadori’s face that was now visible because of the street light close-by.

Do it, brat. Do it now. Don’t be a pussy.

“Listen, Alex… Today has been a very nice day and I’m glad you dropped your candies.”

You scoffed at his hilarious confession and attempted to pull your hand away from his, but just as before, in the park when he caught you, Yuuji’s grip remained firm. “No, let me hold it a bit more,” he whispered, taking a step closer to you.

JUST DO IT ALREADY! You’ll thank me later. Sukuna could hear all of Yuuji’s thoughts and feel the desperate hollow in the boy’s chest. He couldn’t take Yuuji’s reticence anymore. Black marks began appearing on Yuuji’s cheekbones and chin and as soon as he sensed his conscience being ripped from him, the boy shouted. “Ok, ok, I’ll do it!”

“Uhm, I didn’t ask you anything… What’s wrong?” You squeezed his hand once more as you tried to understand what was just about to happen to his face and why he screamed like that.

“Ignore that. It-it’s a long story and I’d rather not tell it now,” Itadori released your hand and stared at you dead in the eye. “How mad would you be if I kissed you right now?”

Your face caught fire. Your ears were burning and your stomach was doing front flips. You barely got to whisper anything before Yuuji’s palms grabbed your cheeks and he slammed his lips on yours. They were soft and warm and he kissed you so slowly that it had you melting in his arms. Your own lips parted to welcome him just as hungrily as your hands tugged at his hoodie to keep him close. He pulled back, eventually, and you smiled at each other in the surprise of what just happened. His forehead leaned on yours and the way you burst into laughter made Yuuji laugh too.

“I hope I didn’t ruin today…” he whispered, rubbing your cheeks with his thumbs, but not parting from your figure yet.

“I can’t wait to see you again, boy,” you cooed, stealing another peck from him before you turned to enter the building.

You barely walked up the stairs with a grin splattered on your face and increased heart rate and once you entered your apartment, you slid down your door and laughed alone for a couple of minutes. That just happened and you were there and he was there and what’s gonna happen now? In the same way, Yuuji called himself an Uber and got inside with palms sweating and a happy frown on his face.

“Finally taking my advice. She was too cute to waste, man. If you didn’t take the chance, I would’ve.”

“Sukuna shut the hell up. I kissed her first.”

I just want to thank @half-baked-biscuit for writing this fanfic for me that I sent in as a commission. I really do appreciate her writing a black fem reader and her taking the time to write this amazing fluff with yuuji/sukuna. I love you bitch T^T. Also credit to the artist for the picture above @hinamie. This was an amazing design so I just had to use it! Please like, reblog, and comment :3

Heres the link to the original post of the artist: https://hinamie.tumblr.com/post/635380113076355072/th-designs-in-this-show-r-god-tier-thank-u-jjk 

Taglist: @half-baked-biscuit @siriusimie @mangobxbbletea @corduroyrose

[ruzek-halstead]

get me with those green eyes, baby

julie is unsure how to tell luke how she feels; she isn't sure if she can. so she does what she does best; she writes luke a song. why tell him if she can just sing it to him?

masterlist

Julie would be lying if she said every song she'd ever written since meeting Luke hadn't been about him.

Because they have. Every last one.

When unknown feelings started bubbling deep within her chest the more time she spent with Luke, she had to let them out somewhere. While she was never the type to keep things bottled up, she didn't necessarily enjoy spilling her guts (unless it was to Flynn). So, she opted for writing down her feelings. That usually ended up in lyrics and it wasn't like she could just show them to Luke because the boy was curious beyond belief and he would hound her until he knew exactly who it was about.

So, she locked everything in her dream box.

And yes, the boys were known to be a tad bit snoopy and go through her things, including the dream box. So, when Julie started locking up her deeply personal (borderline romantic) lyrics, she made it explicitly clear they were to go absolutely nowhere near her box.

She was mostly directing her words at Luke, who actively avoided eye contact while suppressing a smirk.

And they were respectful, she never had any further issues that she knew of; so, she continued writing.

It was only when they were faced with the choices of being stuck in the Hollywood Ghost Club forever or crossing over that she realized she wouldn't ever have to worry about Luke snooping through her personal things again.

He wouldn't be able to. He'd be gone.

So, Julie wondered: did she risk letting him go forever without telling him how she felt? Or tell him anyway but still risk him disappearing?

It was a tough choice that kept Julie reeling, but she found she didn't have much time in between. She didn't care that she would lose them when they crossed over; she would do what she could to ensure that they did.

With all the chaos, she didn't get the chance to talk to Luke, other than a quick moment to make sure he thanked her mom for bringing them to her when he saw her.

The tension was palpable and his gaze was intense. She was perfectly aware of Alex and Reggie only a few feet away, diligently pretending not to be listening but they both knew they were.

It wasn't the time or place for what Julie truly wanted to say, so she swallowed the words.

She didn't get another chance after that.

When they disappeared after their final bow, the pain was gutting. She continued to smile because this was a huge moment for her, for all of them, but they were gone. She thought she was ready, that she had mentally and emotionally prepared herself for their absence.

But nothing could prepare her for the immediate loneliness.

She wanted to be happy for them, and she was, deep down. But she had already suffered so much loss in her life, and this was only adding to it.

When she spotted them in the garage, tear-stained and in excruciating pain, all her emotions were overridden. All she could think about was saving them, no matter the cost, no matter the consequences. The desperation clawed at her throat; she couldn't bear seeing them in this much pain.

But then Luke delivered those few words: No music is worth making, Julie, if we're not making it with you.

She regretted not sharing her feelings but she was confident had an inkling of a clue. Even if she never explicitly said the words, he knew.

So, when she threw herself into his arms, she wasn't even thinking about the fact that he was air and she would most likely slam right into the wall instead. When she collided into his toned chest, she drowned in the moment, hardly even realizing that this shouldn't be possible.

But then she felt it.

She felt the softness of his suit beneath her fingers; she felt his hot breath fanning across her neck; and she felt his arms squeeze tighter around her waist.

Julie felt him.

It was impossible, they weren't sure how to explain it. Julie gazed at Luke's awestruck expression, tears leaking from his emerald eyes. And then he was somehow feeling better; her touch made him feel better and she wasn't sure how to feel about it. All she knew was that she had to try, so she quickly gathered Alex and Reggie as well and in awe, they watched as their Hollywood Ghost Club tattoos disappeared.

They did it.

The boys were free from Caleb and they still hadn't crossed over. Julie didn't have to give them up yet.

Of course, life continued to go on afterwards. The band was more popular than ever and Flynn was busy booking them gig after gig after gig. Not that they minded; it was exactly what they wanted to do in the first place. But the pressing thought never left them.

How long was this going to last?

It killed Julie to go on everyday, knowing that one day, she could walk into the studio, ready to rehearse and they could just be gone forever. It was one thing knowing, like how she knew last time. She was somewhat adequately prepared, but this time, it could happen at any time and she was far too attached now.

Julie knew she shouldn't bottle her feelings like she did last time. She had no idea when her last opportunity would be.

And Luke made her happy. He made her so happy.

One day she would be talking herself up, then the next she would be shutting down. She wasn't sure what to do, how to handle her feelings. Sometimes Luke could be so sickeningly sweet and the words were on the tip of her tongue but then he would do something so stupid or annoying that left her wanting to commit murder.

It was exhausting.

But then, one Saturday morning, Julie woke up with a fierce sense of determination and she thought: this is the day.

She wasn't sure where the surge of confidence came from, but she wasn't going to question it for fear that she would chicken out. Instead, she got herself ready for the day and dug through her dream box to pick out one of her most recently written songs.

Julie still wasn't sure how to verbally tell Luke how she felt; she wasn't sure if she could.

But why tell him when she could just sing it to him?

Julie marched down to the garage, mumbling a quick hello to her dad and Carlos who were making breakfast. Of course, the boys were glued to their instruments, most likely creating a new melody for a song Luke was working on.

"Jules, hey!" Luke greeted excitedly, his green eyes sparkling.

Julie scowled. He shouldn't be allowed to look at her like that.

"Alex, Reggie, do you guys mind going somewhere else? I need to talk to Luke."

Julie didn't mean for her words to sound so ominous; so much so that Alex and Reggie shot curious eyes to Luke, no doubt wondering what he did now. But she was a woman on a mission and she didn't have time to waste. Any time wasted was just her getting closer to backing out.

"Sure," Reggie drawled slowly. His eyes shot back and forth between Julie, with her lips pursed and hands on her hips and Luke, who frankly looked quite scared. Reggie and Alex poofed out, only muttering a quick good luck to Luke.

Immediately, Luke started rambling.

"Whatever I did, I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot, you know this, I'm—"

Julie shook her head. "Shut up."

But for some reason, he kept talking and Julie huffed in frustration.

Julie stepped across the studio, stopped right in front of Luke and his words died on his tongue. She reached for his guitar and pulled the strap from around him, placing it back on its stand.

Luke was more confused than ever.

Julie grabbed his biceps and pushed him back towards a stool. "Sit," she demanded.

"Julie, what's going on?"

"Please, just stop talking."

Julie made her way to the piano, sitting down on the bench and letting her fingers rest on the keys. It brought her some comfort for what she was about to do. Her eyes glanced up towards Luke, who was biting his lip nervously.

"I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm just going to sing it."

"Julie—"

"Luke, please," she breathed quietly and his eyes snapped to hers sympathetically. "Just listen."

Luke nodded in response. Julie could see his inability to sit still for long kick in as his knee started bouncing up and down quickly. She noticed his green eyes darting nervously between the piano and her face; the entire situation was much too anxious for him to handle.

"I wrote you a song."

Before Julie could adequately appreciate the way Luke's jaw fell open, she took a deep breath and allowed the music to consume her. She'd been going over these lyrics for weeks now; they were the truest words she'd never spoken, straight from the heart because of some ghost she'd tried so hard to hate in the beginning.

Julie was completely terrified.

But she couldn't continue on not living to the fullest. It wasn't fair to her and if by some off chance Luke felt the same way and wanted to pursue this, it wasn't fair to him either.

the way you move is like a full on rainstorm

and i'm a house of cards

you're the kind of reckless that should send me running

but i kinda know that i won't get far

His approach could be so aggressive, so eager to get things done, that sometimes he bulldozed over everything in his way. It was an effective way to get things done, but Julie always appreciated the process. Ever since they first met, he gave off a troublemaker type of vibe. Mooning Trevor Wilson always came into mind, but Luke was also the first to help her sneak out of her house using her bedroom window. It's not like the idea never crossed her mind, but before she met the boys, she never really had a reason to.

Luke changed a lot of things for her.

and you stood there in front of me just

close enough to touch

close enough to hope you couldn't see

what i was thinking of

It truly never bothered her in the beginning that they couldn't touch. They were friends, bandmates, nothing more. But then he let her into his brilliant mind and as soon as they started writing together, everything started changing. Julie didn't want anything to change, she knew it would only complicate things, but she couldn't help it.

And then Perfect Harmony happened, and her mind so vividly showed her what it could feel like and ever since, she couldn't get rid of the urge to feel his soft skin under her fingertips.

After visiting his parents and their talk on her porch, it seemed like he knew what she was thinking. He seemed to want it too, if his actions were anything to go by, but it couldn't happen. It left her feeling a tad awkward, but as soon as she got into her house, she made a beeline for her bedroom and poured her thoughts and feelings into a new song about Luke.

drop everything now

meet me in the pouring rain

kiss me on the sidewalk

take away the pain

'cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile

When she wrote this chorus, she was on a high after their Edge of Great performance.

It was nothing that could ever happen, but it was everything she imagined in her wildest dreams.

Every girl at her age had the kiss in the rain fantasy. Julie's really was a fantasy because every time she looked at him, it was just a cruel reminder of everything that couldn't be. But she yearned for it; for everything to change, for him to help ease her pain, for him to surprise the hell out of her one day by grabbing onto her waist and ceasing her many questions with his lips.

get me with those green eyes, baby

as the lights go down

give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

'cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile

His eyes were so captivating, Julie couldn't help but to mention them in every song she wrote. He knew exactly how to use them against her to get what he wanted and Julie was as weak to their power as anyone else. Sure, she put up a front; she had to, she was the boss, but his gaze truly made her weak in the knees. She dreamt of his eyes when she closed hers at night; she couldn't escape them even in her dreams.

The entire reason she was finally sharing this song with him in the first place was because the chances that he could disappear without warning were too high and risky. Julie knew that was a possibility, but her feelings for him were too strong to ignore. She wanted him and she wanted to be left with memories of what they could be together, because one day, when he wasn't around anymore, Julie could think back to all they shared together.

my mind forgets to remind me, you're a bad idea

you touch me once and it's really something

you find i'm even better than you imagined i would be

Oh God, she knew. She knew she and Luke could be so unbelievably destructive. There were so many things against them; she knew it was a bad idea. And she actually attempted to entertain those ideas, for the sake of Flynn and her own protection, but she couldn't anymore. Depriving herself of what she really wanted wasn't healthy and eventually she stopped trying to fight it.

She stopped trying to fight it the night of their Orpheum performance. When she felt Luke's arms around her, physically squeezing her as tightly as his muscles could manage, it changed everything. For better or for worse, she was completely invested now. Not just in Luke, but in all of the boys; they were family.

i'm on my guard for the rest of the world

but with you, i know it's no good

and i could wait patiently

but i really wish you would

Before the boys came into her life, Julie was on the edge. She was about to give up music, even though she loved music with her entire being. She just didn't have it in herself anymore; her muse was gone and she didn't want to share her music in a world where her mother couldn't witness it.

But then these three, random, cute, dorky boys showed up in her garage one day, claiming it was their studio and slowly, they wormed themselves into her heart. Julie didn't want to let them in right away, and she made that quite clear with her cold exterior. But then Luke just had to follow her out, pleading his case with the softest eyes and easily pulling at her heartstrings.

Julie felt her guard start to drop right there and then, and the more time she spent with those dorky boys, the less control she had. She quickly discovered there was no point in holding back around the boys. For teenage boys, they were highly perceptive to her emotions and when she wasn't being whole.

Every time Luke pulled her aside, using his words and his unbelievably intense eyes because he couldn't touch her, Julie felt her walls start to crumble. There was no reason to be anything but herself when she was with Luke; she felt it in her bones, their connection was unmatched.

drop everything now

meet me in the pouring rain

kiss me on the sidewalk

take away the pain

'cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile

Julie would be lying if she said she hadn't fantasized about her first kiss with Luke since he became corporeal.

How could she not?

She'd been thinking about him differently ever since her uncontrollable daydreams, but it was only ever in her mind; it could never happen in real life. And then all of a sudden, it could happen, but it was still beyond her wildest thoughts.

Sometimes she found herself with an urge at the worst of moments. Luke playing the melody he created for their latest lyrics and Julie should've been focusing on the music, but she couldn't tear her eyes away from his lips. Or throughout any of their live performances, when they shared a single microphone because the fans seemed to love it (among others). They were so close together, Julie was genuinely afraid she would forget the lyrics because all she could think about was Luke and how much she needed him.

And then he'd flash his charming grin before pulling some ridiculously attractive guitar trick and Julie was once again left floundering.

get me with those green eyes, baby

as the lights go down

give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

'cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile

Julie didn't want Luke to disappear.

She knew that more than ever now. She had prepared herself once, and she doesn't think she can do it again; it was far too painful.

But she knew, one day, their time would come. They'd have completed their unfinished business and they'd get the opportunity to move onto a better place. And she knew, they might not be around all the time, but they'd be watching. And she knew, when she closed her eyes at night, she would dream of Luke's smile and every emotion it brought to her soul.

i run my fingers through your hair

and watch the lights go wild

just keep on keeping your eyes on me

it's just wrong enough to make it feel right

and lead me up the staircase

won't you whisper, soft and slow

i'm captivated by you baby like a firework show

One thing Julie could commend was that touch came quite easily after everything changed. It happened subtly, with slow touches on the piano bench, then gentle touches on the small of Julie's back. Eventually, it progressed.

Julie realized, accidentally, that Luke loved getting his scalp scratched. She had collapsed against her headboard one late night, and Luke liked to check-in on her when she stayed up late doing school work. Upon spotting her exhausted eyes, he plopped down next to her, dropping his head in her lap. Julie was far too tired to protest or even consider the ramifications, but somehow her hand made its way to his brown locks. She played gently with his hair, fingernails scraping against his scalp.

It was only for a second, and she quickly pulled away to grab her textbook. A low groan ripped through Luke's throat and he blindly reached up to grab her hand and pull it back to the crown of his head. It became their thing after that.

When Julie wrote the bridge of the song, she was high off energy from their latest show after they performed their brand new song. Their performance was electric as usual; it ended with Julie laughing, opening her eyes to find Luke staring at her in adoration.

She didn't even think about it when she threw her arms around his neck in a celebratory hug.

Even when they pulled away from each other and the crowd was still cheering, Alex and Reggie somewhere on the stage around them, she couldn't focus on anything except his bright smile.

Luke quite literally captivated her with every little thing he did.

She thought for a moment: this might be it, maybe he'll finally kiss me. But truth be told, Julie was glad he didn't. If it was going to happen, she didn't want it to be there, in front of hundreds of people. She wanted a private moment, just between her and Luke; that was all she needed.

drop everything now

meet me in the pouring rain

kiss me on the sidewalk

take away the pain

'cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile

Julie was coming to the end of the song now and she hadn't dared to look and see Luke's reaction. She wasn't sure she could handle any rejection should it come, but she knew she couldn't hold in her feelings anymore either.

Regardless of the result, Julie was still proud of herself. She put herself out there in a way she'd never done before and it was a big step in building her confidence.

get me with those green eyes, baby

as the lights go down

give me something that'll haunt you when you're not around

'cause i see sparks fly whenever you smile

Julie rounded off the song with the last few keys on the piano, taking a slow, deep breath when her fingers ceased moving.

She didn't want to look up, didn't want to see his reaction for fear of what she might see. Luke was always very expressive; even when he didn't know exactly what to say, he would ramble on until he eventually figured it out.

But this was different.

Julie was actually trying to tell him something, trying to tell him exactly how she felt in the best way she knew how; songwriting and singing. She paled for a moment; what if he didn't even understand what she was trying to say?

"Julie."

His voice seemed amused, and her eyes immediately snapped up to meet his.

Luke was now standing in front of the stool, unabashedly holding a smile that caused her to let out a large sigh of relief. Her hands automatically flew up to cover her face in mortification.

Stick to your guns, Jules.

But she couldn't. She felt like she was going to melt into a puddle.

Julie heard Luke approach and slide onto the piano in front of her. "Julie," he laughed, and she didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing. "Can you look at me?"

Before Julie could begrudgingly pull her hands away from her face, his hands reached down to circle around her wrists and pull gently. His eyes were soft, scanning her rosy cheeks and glassy eyes. She knew she shouldn't be crying, there was absolutely no need to, but her emotions were running high and this was a really huge move for her.

Julie hesitantly met his eyes. His hands stayed cuffed around her wrists, now resting in his lap. "Jules, that was beautiful. What's wrong?"

"I'm mildly mortified," Julie replied honestly, eyes dropping to the brand new guitar pick necklace Willie had given him (one for each of the boys and a new bracelet for Julie).

"Why?"

Julie's eyes snapped back up to glare at him. "Because I just basically spilled my guts out to you in the best way I know how and you haven't said anything!"

Luke didn't look phased at her change in attitude or the frustration she was throwing his way. He always knew the best way to handle her; talk her down when she needed it, or give her a reality check when she was too in her head (she'd be sure to do the same).

Instead, his hand moved to angle her chin so she couldn't avoid his gaze anymore. "Because I wanted you to look at me when I told you."

"Told me what?"

"That I love your song," Luke said softly, fingers reaching up to caress her cheek. Julie struggled to maintain eye contact when he looked at her like she had stars in her eyes and he said things like that. "And I think I've known for a while, but you know me. I'm not good at dealing with feelings."

Julie leaned into his touch. He wasn't exactly being clear, but it was Luke, so she wasn't exactly surprised.

He blinked, rubbing the back of his neck as he chuckled nervously. "Jules, I think I might be in love with you."

Julie's eyes softened, chest constricting with a multitude of emotions. Now it was Luke who was actively avoiding meeting her eyes, though he still couldn't find it in himself to stop talking.

"Not that I really know what it means. I've never been in love, but I think it's what I feel," he rambled on. "You came into my life when I really needed it. I'm better because of you; you make me better, Julie."

Julie decided it was about time she took hold of the reins again. After all, this was her idea all along. She placed her hands on either side of his face, breaking free from his hold. She pulled his face down, meeting him halfway. Julie hesitated, giving him the chance to pull back if he wanted to, but he really didn't want to.

Luke closed the rest of the distance between them, gently pressing his lips against Julie's. It was soft and simple and over way too soon, but Luke didn't want to push it.

He most definitely had just confessed his love for her and the reality was starting to hit him hard.

So, he made a joke.

"I'm sorry our first kiss wasn't on the sidewalk in the pouring rain."

A reference to her song. The push they needed.

And even though awkwardness was starting to creep up on Luke, a smirk slid its way onto Julie's lips.

"Don't worry; we'll have time for that."

Before Luke's lips could appreciate the grin he wore, Julie reeled him back in, pressing her lips firmly to his once again. Her hands found his way to his neck, slipping into his hair and scratching his scalp just the way he liked it. Luke let out a groan, unwillingly pulling away from her.

"Julie, if you don't stop, I may pass out from cardiac arrest," he mumbled, trying and failing to control his breathing.

Julie let out a short laugh. She started her day with so much confidence and it slowly swindled into uncertainty, but it all worked out. She just needed to trust herself, her feelings and Luke.

"By the way," Julie added, resting her elbows on his knees as she looked up at him in adoration, "I think I'm in love with you too."

Luke would never push her, but he couldn't lie and say he wasn't itching to hear the words. Everything she said in the song sent him into overdrive, but nothing compared to hearing her say it like that.

"Why don't we go write a song about it?"

"Good idea. I'm feeling especially inspired at the moment."

Luke leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to Julie's nose. She scrunched her nose adorably in response.

"Me too, Jules."

x

i don't really have a taglist anymore (old one is outdated) and i never know who to tag so pls let me know if you want tags for any of my future fics :)

[hellonoblesky]

School got me worn out so here's my team dynamic HCs

It's Kaeya, Xingqiu, Diluc, and Ayaka atm hngjfhgdjfg

Kaeya

This man is so tired, Archons please let him rest

Has to pick up his week's paperwork from Jean every Monday when we go to Mondstadt to buy food supplies and stuff before fighting Andrius, gets to work on it while Diluc and the Andrius team go at it

Actually is the person who keeps the whole party safe, has pulled Xingqiu away from ledges while he's reading more times than he can count, makes sure everyone has food at all times, and keeps the schedule in line

Has a flask of Death After Noon that he keeps on him, has to actively keep it away from Xingqiu because the kid's curious

He is so tired he is the reason the party only gets up to leave at like noon because he sleeps in

Thinks he's good enough at hiding his anxiety that no one else has noticed

He is not, they've all noticed him shaking visibly at high speeds in 90-degree weather and the kids will do their best to avoid fraying his nerves on a bad day

Very kind to Xingqiu and Ayaka, kinda like a cool uncle? Buys them things even though they can afford it

Kinda lets the kids do what they want and chat while he keeps them safe and the whole party on their way

Absolute tank, balances his skillset out so he can manage most threats alone, no one has to get hurt, they can just travel, it's fine it's fine

Pretends to casually bring up stuff the kids want to do (after meticulously making sure the party would be in the right place at the right time)

"Xingqiu, we have time to kill, care to show us to the Wanwen Bookhouse? We can see if they have the next issue in that book series you're always reading! :)"

"Ayaka, you wanted to try some Liyuen cuisine, didn't you? We have a dear friend who just so happens to be a chef at Wanmin Restaurant! And since we're in Liyue anyway, we should swing by, shouldn't we?"

He tries his best to find something Diluc wouldn't mind doing too! Usually, Diluc turns him down but Kaeya has scored on occasion!

"C'mon Diluc, you can't have lost all your taste for reading, right? I hear Inazuma has some interesting books nowadays, what with all the isolation..."

Basically, he just tries his best and is so tired please let him rest

Diluc

This man is angry all the time but he doesn't mean to be. He's just unnerved because he's basically back to hunting Fatui in other nations. He just isn't alone this time and the Fatui aren't the focus

He's so annoyed that they don't leave until Kaeya wakes up, actively in denial about the fact that he himself wakes up only an hour earlier and everyone else is waiting for much longer

Runs right into danger all the time please someone tell this man to calm down he is the reason they need so much food

Does and takes a whole lot of damage at the same time and it stresses Kaeya out so much

Was not Pleased to find out he'd be stuck traveling with Kaeya, puts up with it because he can't bring himself to turn down the Traveler's request. Because in his eyes they're just a kid trying to find their family and he really can't turn down their plea for help in

Gets along surprisingly well with Xingqiu, they both enjoy reading, and often recommend books to each other! Diluc has no idea Xingqiu wrote Legend of a Sword, but the only reason for that is that he literally forgot the book name

"Hmm... in Mondstadt we have this book, The Fox and the Dandelion Sea? For a traditional Mondstadt fairytale, it does remind me of Inazuma, funnily enough. There are versions of the book that are watered down for younger children, but if you have the time I'd recommend the full novelization."

"Tales From the Waves? No, I haven't read that. Is it good?" ... "A novelization of an old ship captain's life? That does sound interesting... I'll pick up a copy when I can"

Gets along well with Ayaka as well, they both appreciate the arts and such so they talk about that

"In Mondstadt we don't have nearly as many festivals as they do in Inazuma... but when we do they're quite the occasion, and very dear to people's hearts. There would be rioting in the streets if the Windblume Festival was postponed..."

"Oh Mond has its fair share of dance traditions, but they fell to be a staple of the Lawrence rule, so not many traditional dances remain... although if you wish to learn more about them you could ask Kaeya to introduce you to the Knight's Recconacance Captain. She doesn't like me very much"

Is the one person who actually doesn't realize that Kaeya is anxious All The Time, literally could watch him shake uncontrollably as Venti walks by and think it was his Vision acting up, he has all the pieces to put the puzzle together but has lost interest in it

Xingqiu

Top ten reasons the party gets sidetracked, number one: Xingqiu finding a book and getting so into it that he doesn't notice people

Actually besties with Ayaka he thinks she's really cool!

Top ten reasons why Kaeya actually gets to sleep as long as he does, number one: Xingqiu jumping up and yanking Diluc's hair when he tries to wake him up

"You're 22 you can go get breakfast by yourself, my leige"

Infodumps about his books to the whole party while they're eating dinner regardless of if they're listening or not (they are, they always are)

Pulls out relevant trivia out of nowhere?? Like they'll be stuck in some ruins and Xingqiu just

"Hey, you know this specific style of ruins are known to be built with metal hatches that always lead to escape routes :)"

Or like

"Oh yeah, the coloration in the animals is different here because the plants in Inazuma so often have purple and blue pigmentation, and Inazuma is so naturally isolated, that the animals adapted to get their pigments partially from the foliage!"

And no one knows how or why he knows this much but he Does??

Also, knows everyone's favorite bird for some reason and talks about them, why? Idk I think he'd like birds!!

"A peacock? Oh, I've never even seen one of those! I hear they're lovely, but a little noisy. Sometimes we get feathers imported for design reference at the Feyun Commerce Guild though!"

"Umbertail Falcon, right? Ohh I hear they can be very loyal, right? Ahh, so that's why yours flys down to check in on you? That's lovely! Owls? Oh yeah, those are cool birds, you know their feathers are fanned out just right so they're entirely silent while flying!"

"Herons? Oh yeah, that's what your title is, right? Graceful... I think they're more stealthy, very good at waiting to strike. That's how they hunt, you know? Just being patient and stealthy, then striking. That's also why they're so graceful standing there all the time!"

Bummed that he's the only person in the party without a bird as his constellation tbh, but he's alright with it because he's got books!!

Mentioned Albedo and Kaeya almost choked on his food, Xingqiu thought this was hilarious

Routinely plays pranks on Diluc and occasionally manages to pull a deez joke on Kaeya, leaves Ayaka alone with the pranks though because he knows she's new to all of this

Ayaka

Oh this poor girl, Lumine just dropped her off with Mondstadt's most dysfunctional siblings and a kid who reads at the speed of light and said have fun

Really gets along well with Xingqiu!! Having someone with a somewhat similar background is definitely a relief, especially because Kaeya and Diluc intimidate her, what with them arguing most of the time they interact

She recognizes the anxiety in Kaeya (because she also has it) so she's a little more comfortable approaching him because of that

She's happy to talk about Inazuma's ruins and is fascinated by Kaeya bringing up similar ruins in Mondstadt and Liyue

She really appreciates him remembering what she's interested in and making time in the day for it!

Diluc on the other hand?? She has... some idea how to talk to him? But?? He is either aggressive or glaring off into the distance at all times, and she's been around long enough to know that he doesn't mean to be like that but it's still unnerving to her

However, she Can talk to him! She is still a little confused because he constantly sounds so grumpy, but she's realized that he's actually really good at listening, and is absolutely willing to talk about Mondstadt traditions! Because she does really like to learn about other nations

Plus, she can go to Xingqiu to answer most of her questions!

"Xingqiu, I- I hope this isn't an odd question, but ah... how exactly do you get used to Kaeya and Diluc? I don't think I've quite figured it out yet..?"

"So in Liyue... the Merchant stalls are on the docks? Like Ritou but it's all on the docks? Interesting..."

"You're the second born of the Feyun Commerce Guild? Oh! Forgive me, I thought you were the eldest, my brother handles most international relations..."

It was really hard for her to adjust to the team, just because of how ragtag it is most of the time, but she's got it by now!

She actually kind of likes the scrappy chaos! She hasn't completely gotten used to it all but she finds it like kind of a break from having to uphold her image at all times

Top five Ayaka quotes and who she said them to:

"They fight a wolf ghost every week...?? Are they ok??" (To Kaeya, about the Andrius team)

"So this is Morax's old... dragon friend...??" (To Xingqiu)

"Wait, you do this every week?" (To Diluc, about the domains)

"Oh!! Oh it is spicy!!!" (To Xingqiu, about Xiangling's cooking)

"Ah... OH! Yes um I uh- *gay hand flip* ?? Is that right??" (Xingqiu was talking about Chongyun)

Also the party went to Dragonspine and Ayaka was actually really interested in Durin because she didn't know that other nations also had odd giant dragon skeletons

[lia-jones]

Growing Together - Chapter Twenty-Eight - The Proof Is In the Brownie

Author's note:

Hello beautiful people! It's been such a long time since I have posted, and I'm truly sorry for the no-show, but things ahve been hectic at work and I really couldn't get myself in the right headspace to write, but now we're hopefully rolling! I struggled a lot deciding whether I should write this chapter or not. It doesn't feel like my usual narrative, some of you will find it unusual, and still I had to get it out of my head. If you can, leave me a comment or an ask with your opinion!

So, without further ado, let's get to it!

“Oh God.” I croaked, looking around. “I think we took this thing way too far.”

Victor lifted his head from my shoulder, disheveled hair still covered with flour.

“You think?” He frowned. “We destroyed the kitchen.”

Feeding Instructions

“Andy, will you come here for a second?” I heard Victor call from the hallway.

“Yeah.” I stopped beside the aquarium, running my fingers through my wet hair.

“This is how much you give him.” He showed me a small plastic spoon with lobster pellet food. “Twice a day. Once in the morning, once in the evening. No more than that.”

Here we go.

“Are you also instructing me on how many times I should feed our son, or is it just the lobster?”

“You forget you fed him, and then you feed him more than necessary.” He dropped the food into the aquarium. “He’s getting fatter, his exoskeleton doesn’t even get a chance to harden.” He paused, staring at the aquarium. “Maybe I should make you a sheet to keep track of his feeding.”

“For the last time, Victor, I am not overfeeding the lobster! I am perfectly able to remember if I have fed him or not, I’m not senile.” I walked back to our room, starting to feel annoyed.

“This from the person who forgot her phone inside the refrigerator.” I heard him follow me.

“That is different, I was getting a yogurt for Owen and I was holding the phone...”

“I would buy you some memory supplements, but you’ll probably forget to take them.” He mocked me.

“You know, if you are so worried about the lobster, don’t go.” I turned to him. “Stay and feed him yourself.”

“You know I can’t do that. I need to make sure everything is running smoothly before the inauguration.” He held me by the waist.

“Right.” I leaned my head against his chest with a heavy sigh. ”And I need to stay behind to look after LCG and help Goldman if he needs me.”

“It’s only for two weeks.” He pressed his chin on top of my head. “Then you’ll meet me in Paris, and we can make up for the lost time.”

I wrapped my arms tightly around him, like somehow my embrace could force him to stay. Although traveling was a big part of Victor’s job, since we got Owen he used to avoid it as much as he could, and I got used to having him with us all the time. I knew LFG France was a big project that demanded a lot of his attention, especially during the first months, and he had no choice but to go, yet I still resented the fact that I would have to endure two weeks without his warmth, sleeping alone in a cold bed.

“In the meantime, will you please try not to kill our pet?” He broke our embrace, pecking me in the forehead. “Twice a day. No more, no less.”

“Oh, for the love of-”

“Nevermind, I’ll just ask Owen.”

And with that, my husband left me alone in our bedroom, probably to avoid the insults I was about to throw at him.

A Brownie a Day Keeps the Sadness Away

“You’re leaving tomorrow?” Owen poked his eggs. “But I have to go to school today, I won’t have any time to be with you before we leave.”

“We have tonight.” Victor smiled at his son.

“It’s no use, it’s not enough time.” The boy pouted. “And I’ll be too sad to enjoy it anyway.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at my five-year-old drama. Victor gave me a knowing look.

“Well, that being the case, I may as well return the tickets I bought to the Insectopia exhibition.” Victor spoke casually, his eyes on his phone.

Owen dropped his fork and looked at his father, his sweet brown eyes sparkling.

“We are going to see Insectopia today?”

Victor got up from the table calmly, retrieving an orange cardboard box from the fridge.

“We were, but since you are so depressed, you may not want to do it. I even bought your favorite brownies from Hungry Hippo, but I understand if you lost your appetite.”

“I can have brownies for breakfast?!?” Owen’s eyes opened so wide I thought they were going to pop out.

“Finish your eggs first.” Victor took three more plates from the cupboard, serving us all brownies. Owen took his fork again, eating his eggs in a rush.

“Done!” He announced after what felt like 10 seconds. “I want a brownie please!”

“God, Owen, did you even chew your food?!?” I looked at my son’s plate, surprised to see it empty. But I don’t think he even heard me, already busy cutting his brownie.

“Hmmm, these are sooo goood!” Owen closed his eyes as he took a bite of his brownie. “The best brownies ever, better than all other brownies! Not even Dad can make brownies this good!”

My husband’s face fell.

“My brownies are not this good?”

“No, these are so much better!” Owen replied with his mouth full of chocolate.

Victor gave me an inquisitive look. I sipped my coffee, pretending not to notice.

“Hmm.” He frowned, cutting a piece of his brownie with the fork and bringing it to his mouth. After a moment, his frown deepened. “They are. But how?”

Playing My Brownies Right

As usual, we drove Owen to school and headed to LFG Tower to work. On a regular day, Victor and I would spend our commute time talking about our daily affairs, clients we would meet, who would cook dinner or pick Owen up. But since it was his last day at home before he flew to Paris, all of that seemed irrelevant. The whole day just felt a bit sad for me.

“I wish you could take the day off for us to spend some time together. It’s been ages since we had some time for ourselves.”

“Some other time.” He sighed. “I need to get some last-minute affairs in order before I leave.”

“Can’t you take some time and have Goldman do it?” I complained. “You’ve been working non-stop.”

“I should take care of some things myself.”

“Funny, back when I was publishing my study, you were such a firm believer in delegating.” I squinted at him.

“Different situations.”

“Because I’m me and you’re you?”

There was a moment of silence, and I smiled thinking Victor was mulling over my astonishing comeback. Turns out, he wasn’t even listening.

“Do you think those brownies are better than mine?”

“That is your main concern right now!?”

“Well, are they?” He insisted.

“Ok, consider this a lesson of tough love.” I turned to him. “Yes, they are. Happy Hippo’s brownies are vastly superior to yours. And that’s ok. You don’t have to be good at everything. Someone can’t be good at everything.”

“I beg to differ.” He frowned, watching the road. “My whole life, I worked hard to achieve perfection, and I have reached it. I believe that with consistent effort and dedication, one can be good at anything.”

I stifled a laugh.

“Not brownies, though.”

“Don’t think I can’t tell you are mocking me.”

“Oh no, I’m going to lose brownie points.” I poked him.

“Will you back off?” He poked back. “I have plenty to do today, I don’t want to catch moronitis from you.”

“You know, if you were so good at everything, I’m sure you would have no trouble delegating your tasks to Goldman and spending the day with me.” I gave him a daring look. “In fact, I bet you can’t.”

“You bet?” He smiled mischievously at me. There was nothing Victor loved more than a good challenge. Unfortunately for him, I was well aware of that.

“Want to make it official?”

“It depends. What are the terms of this bet?”

“For today, until Owen arrives from school, if I dare you to do something, you’ll need to do it, and you need to do it perfectly. If I win, you’ll have to admit you are not good at everything. Also, you can’t nag me about anything for a whole month. Not about lobster food, not about the mess I make in the bathroom, nothing.”

“Fair enough. So if I win, you’ll have to always agree with what I say and act accordingly for a month. During that time, what I say goes, and you can’t go against it. And you will have to acknowledge my prowess as well.”

“I always have to agree? So I can never tell you that you’re wrong?” I frowned.

“Not for thirty days, you can’t.”

“Not even if you are talking your way into sleeping on the couch?”

“That won’t happen because you’ll always agree with me.” He smiled. “See? It’s a foolproof plan.”

“You have to win first.” I dared.

“I’m confident about my chances.” Keeping a cautious eye on the road, he pressed the screen of his phone. “And to show you I mean it, I will complete the first challenge.”

“You’re taking the day off?” I smiled, surprised to see my teasing work so well.

“I was already planning to, you idiot.” He pretended to be angry, although I could see him suppressing a smile. “I only had a short meeting to attend and then I would whisk you away from the office for some time for two. Sadly, you had to act childishly and ruin the surprise.”

Awww, soft Victor. I leaned against his bicep, my heart filled with love for this man. It almost made me feel bad for planning to make his day a living hell. Almost.

Put Your Mouth Where Your Brownie Is

“A supermarket? That’s your idea of time for two?”

“It’s been a while since we’ve had a quiet day at home, just the two of us.” Victor replied, filling our cart with several items. “And cooking together seems like a nice activity.”

“Well, since you’ll be gone for so long, I thought we could use some more…” I batted my eyelids at him. “... intimate time.”

“Fear not, I will not leave my wife unsatisfied.” He smiled.

That smile was enough to leave me a babbling horny mess. Get it together, Andrea.

It wasn’t until we stopped by the dairy fridge that I paid close attention to the contents of our cart: chocolate, sugar, flour, and a stick of unsalted butter Victor had just put there.

“We’re going to bake brownies.” My good mood was gone at that exact second. We were supposed to be taking time for us, how could he even think about brownies?

“We are going to try and recreate that recipe, perhaps even improve it.”

“Well, don’t use that butter then. Use this one instead.” I retrieved a stick of regular butter from the fridge.

“I will not use cheap butter to bake.” He put the salted butter in its original place. “It alters the consistency and flavor. It belongs on warm bread, not brownies.”

I could say I was disappointed that Victor was more concerned about his pride than the short time we had to be together before his trip. I could even say that it upset me how condescending he would sound sometimes, always telling me how to do things, like I was Owen’s age. All of these were true, but that wasn’t what was bothering me the most. Victor would leave soon, and we wouldn’t see each other for two weeks, and I knew I would be a needy insecure mess during the time he would be away, barely able to sleep on that giant bed by myself, missing his loving whispers in the morning, his huge sweaty body making love to me. To add insult to injury, this distance didn’t seem to affect Victor at all. He was cool as a cucumber, like this long trip away from his family was just another Tuesday.

I felt entitled to some pettiness.

“You know what? Forget about the old bet.” I took the stick of butter and placed it again in our cart. “Let’s make a new one. Same consequences, different challenge.”

“What do you have in mind?” He came closer, looking me in the eye.

“Simple.” I stared back defiantly. “The best brownie wins.”

All is Fair in Love and Brownies

The terms were pretty straightforward: we had fifteen minutes to prepare the batter, after which we would put both trays in the oven, simultaneously, and bake them for the exact same time. If we couldn’t decide on which brownie was the best, Owen would have the final say. The winner would have absolute power over the household for a month, and could not be defied during that time, unless in dire circumstances.

We placed the ingredients on the counter, along with the bowls and pans we would need. Victor started the timer on his phone.

“Ready?” He glanced at me.

“Let’s get this party started.” I smiled.

It was showtime.

Victor and I loved cooking together, but our cooking methods couldn’t be more different. I was more of a messy cooker, leaving eggshells on the counter, and flour everywhere, and most times my clothes would also become victims of my culinary endeavors, while Victor was methodical and clean, neatly arranging his ingredients on the counter, carefully measuring each one of them. Surprisingly, we worked pretty well together: Victor quickly embraced my spontaneous side and I obviously benefited immensely from his methodic one. Side by side, as competitors, not so much. That became clear when I grabbed the flour and placed it absentmindedly on the counter, the bag still open.

“Close the bag after you use it.” Victor paused his mixing to close the flour bag. “Clumsy as you are, you’ll spill flour all over the counter.”

“So what?” I shrugged, busy mixing my batter. “It’s just flour, we’ll clean it afterward.”

“Have you noticed how filthy your side of the counter is? How can you work in such chaos?” He scolded. “Eggshells everywhere, flour and sugar on the floor…” He wiped my forehead. “How did you even get flour on your face?”

And there he was again, talking to me like I was five. Oh boy.

“I’m sorry, is my mess making you uncomfortable?”

“Just stay on your side of the counter, I don’t want to get stains on my shirt.”

That was enough. If Victor was so adamant about treating me like a child, I would act like one.

“Oops!” I tilted the sugar jar over the counter, sugar spilling all over Victor’s side. “You are right, I can be really messy.”

“What’s the matter with you?” He quickly grabbed a cloth. “Are you trying to aggravate me on purpose?”

“Maybe I am.” I shrugged. “I mean, I’m sure a perfect man like you must be prepared to deal with all challenges life throws at him, including a messy wife.”

“A little sugar isn’t going to stop me, if that's what you think.” He gave me a smug look, returning to his work. “I’ll still win.”

“Is that so?” I paused my mixing, wondering what I could do to get him pissed.

“Easy now, don’t go doing things you might regret.” Victor raised an eyebrow at me, like he somehow had read my mind.

“I think my batter is ready. Tell me what you think.” I grabbed the spoon I was using to mix and whipped it towards Victor, a bunch of brownie batter landing on his neck and face. “Yummy, right?”

Victor paused, his eyes closed, taking a deep breath as he wiped the chocolate from his face. For a moment I thought he would just scream at me and storm away. I had something quite different.

“Not quite ready yet.” He took the flour bag and dumped it all over me. “It needs more flour."

“Are you sure?” I gave him a defying look, after wiping some of the flour off me. “Have another taste.”

And I did the unthinkable. I took my mixing bowl and poured it all over his shirt and pants.

“For the record,” Victor said after recovering from the initial shock, “you were the one who started this.”

I really can’t tell who threw what next, but the next thing I know is we were in full battle mode, ingredients flying everywhere. Victor got a clear advantage when he remembered he had some eggs close by. Thankfully, I was quick to react and managed to avoid being bombarded by opening the fridge door and hiding behind it. And that’s when I saw it. The can of whipped cream I had bought to garnish the other brownies, and that Victor had refused to use because food in a can is unacceptable. Well, I would put it to good use now. I emerged from behind my improvised shelter, shaking the can vigorously.

“Now, if you’re smart,” I pointed the nozzle at him, “you’ll admit defeat and walk away.”

“If you were smart”, he walked confidently towards me, “you’d know it takes a lot more than whipped cream for me to fold.” Before I could react, he grabbed both my wrists and made me twirl, holding my arms behind my back, the can forgotten on the floor. “Now admit defeat.” He whispered in my ear, from behind me.

“Oh, bite me.” I scoffed.

He didn’t waste a second. He took my earlobe in his mouth and bit it hard.

“Satisfied?”

I gave him a daring look.

“Harder.”

Bigger Brownies to Bake

My defiance was like a trigger in Victor’s mind. He didn’t give me any time to think or react, turning me effortlessly in his arms, his mouth taking mine in a passionate kiss. And just like that, our food fight turned into a steamy make-out session.

Yes, the kitchen was a mess, and Victor would be leaving soon, but none of the things that bothered us before seemed to matter at that moment, as we focused solely on each other and the way we felt, the world a blurry notion in the back of our minds. We simply gave in to our lust, kissing, touching, teasing, hands ripping clothes apart and throwing them on the ground. Victor was far from cold, despite popular belief, he was a very intense man, and loving him was just as intense. Every time we gave in to our feelings like this, it was like being swallowed by a gigantic yet pleasurable wave, only hoping we would come out whole in the end. We made love right then and there, on our kitchen island, too entranced to think of anything else. It was only when we came down from our high, landing in each other’s arms with a wide grin on our faces, that we minded the real world again.

“Oh God.” I croaked, looking around. “I think we took this thing way too far.”

Victor lifted his head from my shoulder, his hair covered with flour.

“You think?” He frowned. “We destroyed the kitchen.”

Our eyes met for a second before we both burst into laughter. Problems like a dirty kitchen seem so silly when we’re happy.

“Will you tell me why you have been so moody with me lately?” He pulled me closer to his chest.

“I haven’t…” I started defending myself, but gave up when I noticed him glaring at me. “I have been moody, yes, you are right.” I sighed. “I know this is stupid and you’ll probably make fun of me, but the idea of having you away for so long… it’s unsettling.”

“Idiot, it’s only for a few weeks.” He chuckled. “Before you know it, you’ll be taking the jet to meet me.”

“See? And that infuriates me too!” I pushed away from his arms. “Here I am, pouring my heart out, and you laugh! Like this is a joke, like there is no reason for me to be feeling that way, especially when it’s clear you won’t-”

He pressed his lips against mine, and as usual, my thoughts evaded me completely. His kiss was sweet and soothing, taking away all my anxiety. He took my face in his hands and broke the kiss to look into my eyes, his voice with a sweeter yet vulnerable tone now.

“You are usually so good at reading me.” He smiled. “How can you think I don’t care?”

His eyes were filled with such honesty that I began to question my reasoning as well. That man did nothing but love me, deeply, every day. How could I possibly question that? I watched as he lifted my wrist, holding the red ruby charm between these fingers.

“I carry your heart with me.” He whispered.

“I carry it in my heart.” I returned.

“I may not say much, but my word is biding. You never need to worry about these things, you have the answer to them already. Here.” He pointed at my bracelet. “Here.” He took my left hand, kissing my ring finger. “And hopefully, here.” His hand rested on my chest. “Even when this gets you in trouble.” He tapped my forehead with a smile. “I give all these reminders and still you forget? You are in dire need of those memory supplements.”

“Damn it.” I shook my head. “You won.”

“No, the terms were that the best brownie would win. We didn’t get to bake them.”

“You wanted to prove to me that you are perfect.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “And you did. You are absolutely perfect. At least for me.”

“Well, that being the case…” He came closer, brushing his lips against mine. “I think we have a tie.”

The kitchen was pristine clean when Owen came from school, and our little adventure became our secret, a private joke we shared in our moments of intimacy. Another proof that, even in chaos and uncertainty, we would always find each other.

This project has been going for a year now (it started in February 2020) and it won't be over any time soon, so I would like to ask you, as much as possible, for your support, because we still have a very long way to go. So, if you enjoy the work, don't forget to comment and reblog. It gives it traction and enables other people to learn about it, and for me to get more excited about what I do.

[tomtenadia]

Island Dreams - Chapter 4

Double feature tonight! Here's chapter 4 as well. Last night I was inspired and I did managed to write a few chapters.

As usual... some Gaelic for you:

A bheil Gàidhlig agad - Do you speak Gaelic? mo charaid - my friend

Some of Elias' words seem funny, but he speaks Scots as well. And he is so damn sexy while doing it.

All the locations I mentioned they are real. Rowan's bookstore it's the only fictional place.

Happy reading!

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Aelin woke up quite late the next morning. After her fight with Rowan she had spent the day at the marina and wondered around the town. She had felt empty and could not bring herself to do anything. She finally managed to speak with Lysandra and cried. She cried her heart out and her friend had listened. Like she always did. She had gotten home later in the afternoon and felt exhausted. She spent the rest of the afternoon in the living room reading her books. That brought her joy at least, although dreaded going back to shop to collect the last book. She could not face him. Not yet. But that morning she had woken with a renewed motivation. She had prepared breakfast for herself and admitted she missed Maeve’s apple turnovers but could not risk going back there at the moment. She had to put some distance. So she ate her own breakfast, prepared a couple of sandwiches and got her backpack ready for the next adventure. Today she was driving south toward Harris. She had learned that Lewis and Harris were one big islands but Lewis was the Northern part, full of moors and peat land. Harris, was the Southern part, much rockier and with some stunning beaches and a famous road called the Golden road. Ten minutes later she was in the car and ready to go. She set her sat nav and she left. Over an hour later the sat nav announced one last turn to her final destination: Luskentyre beach. She had a look at some photos online and she could not believe such a gorgeous place existed.

She parked the car and opened the door and got out. No internet image had prepared her for the view in front of her. The beach was massive, the stretch of sand never ending and the sand was so white that it almost hurt the eyes. And the sea. It was the purest green mixed with blue that she had ever seen in her life. She was speechless. For ten solid minutes she leaned against the open door of her car and observed the stretch of paradise in front of her, incapable of doing anything else. Trying to burn in her memories the colours. She would take pictures but doubted they would ever do any justice. Finally she moved and grabbed her backpack, locked the car and walked to the beach. Once she reached the sand she removed the shoes. No way she was going to walk on that sand with her shoes on. The sun was up and the sand was warm at the touch and she let the feeling sooth her. Around her there were a few people walking dogs and couples walking hand in hand. A pang of sadness hit her, and absentmindedly she touched the spot where her wedding band should have been hating herself straight after, for missing Chaol. He made his choice. She had given him his freedom. Tears threatened to appear once again but she fought them back and resumed her walk along the beach. She followed the beach and walked in the water ignoring that it was cold. She walked for hours then she decided to sit and eat her lunch. Her sandwich was gross compared to Maeve’s and in her packed there definitely was no chocolate cake. She sighed. A young man was walking his dog and she noticed the animal coming her way. The man called him a few times, but a moment later the dog was at her feet, his tongue lolling from his mouth and was staring at her sandwich. Aelin laughed and gave him a bit and he ate eagerly. “I wouldn’t do it if I were you. You might never get rid of him.” The man was now in front of her and was scratching the dog ears. “It’s fine I was done eating anyway.” And she gave the rest of her lunch to the dog. She lifted her eyes and stared at the man. He was wearing shorts and a navy blue polo shirt. His hair was black as the night and his eyes a light blue edging on grey. Her breath caught and she felt herself blushing. “You are not a local.” He said as a matter of fact. “That obvious?” “Your accent. Definitely not from here.” His smile left her breathless. He had dimples. On both sides. He was quite cute. “Where do you bide?” Aelin looked at the man puzzled “Bide?” “Aye, where do you stay?” Understanding dawned on her. The word must have a different meaning in Scots “I am staying in Stornoway.” “Bonnie place. I live in Callanish. Ye, ken?” Aelin was stuck again. Was he even speaking English? So far all the other people had done their best to speak English with her. “Sorry, bad habit. I didn’t mean to be rude. I meant if you know Callanish.” The man sat beside her on the sand while the dog was running free on the beach. “Yes I was there a couple of days ago. I went to the standing stones. Such a fascinating place.” “I have one of the smaller circles just outside ma hoose.” He confessed turning his head to her “There are actually few more different sites scattered around the area. The main one at the visit centre is Callanish I.” He explained, then he extended his hand “I am Elias by the way. I have been yapping non stop and forgot to introduce myself.” “Aelin,” she said taking his hand. “Aelin…” her name on his tongue sounded perfection “In Gaelic means bright or shining one.” “So, are you a tourist? Visiting friends? Family? Boyfriend?” Aelin giggled “Status uncertain at the moment.” She said, then looked at Elias and explained a bit further “Tourist at the moment, but things might change.” “So, where are ye fae?” She guessed his question and she hoped she got it right “London.” She replied. “Been there for work a few times. I am an engineer and I have been down there for a few conventions.” Aelin was too busy listening at his sexy accent to pay attention to what he was saying and she felt embarrassed when she had to ask to repeat his answer. “Nae worries. I said I am an engineer and I was in London a few times for work.” “Cool what type?” The guy was fascinating and seemed much more willing to chat that a certain grumpy one back in town. “Environmental. I am working with Calmac at the moment. That’s the company that runs the ferry you used to get here if you travelled by sea.” He explained while the dog came back and licked his fingers quite happily. “I am a doctor. I was…. Still am… it’s complicated.” She cut short and noticed the confusion in his face. “Long boring story.” “What type?” “Cardio thoracic surgeon.” He whistled “bad ass woman. Love it.” His grin reached his eyes and she felt heat spread inside her. Definitely more than cute. And those dimples… She was having a good time but she had to keep going, she still had a few things to do. “I am enjoying the conversation but I still have quite a lot to cover.” She stood and turned to him. The main smiled “Of course. Care for some suggestions?” Aelin nodded. “If you are driving south, right after Borve there is another lovely beach. Stop there as well. Not as famous as Luskentyre but amazing as well. Then continue all the way down to Rodel. It’s the village at the end of the road. There is a lovely church called St. Clements. Worth visiting. Once you are past Rodel make your way back via the Golden road. It’s a very narrow road but it’s a pleasure to drive if you want an Hebridean adventure. Once you are almost at the top before Tarbert, make sure you stop in Drinisiader. There is a fascinating wee museum about Harris Tweed. But just hide your purse. They have some amazing stuff and you might want to buy the entire shop. Then you are in Tarbert and from there it’s an easy drive back to Stornoway.” “Tapadh Leat.” She said and Elias gave her a huge grin in response. “A bheil Gàidhlig agad?” He asked and she realised she had to stop trying to use Gaelic. “I just know thank you and good morning.” She explained almost embarrassed. “That’s okay, lass. I am not a native speaker either. I learnt it later on in life. My parents don’t actively speak it, but my gran did. It was the only way I had to communicate with her. My parents were parts of the generation that grew being taught that speaking Gaelic was not proper, so they never did. My mum understands it because of course her mother was a speaker. But she used her dad to translate. It’s a very long complicated story.” He stopped and looked at her. “Looks like we both have a complicated story to tell each other.” Aelin’s stomach fluttered in excitement. He grabbed his wallet and removed a business card from it. “Sorry for being so direct, but you seem quite an interesting person. Call me or message me if you need a guide.” He held the card to her and Aelin debated for a moment whether to take it or not. Lysandra had told her to go to Scotland, enjoy herself and get a Scottish man in the process and forget her ex husband. She took the card “I’ll call you.” “Do it, mo charaid.” She smiled warmly, grabbed her backpack “It was nice meeting you, Elias.”

She was driving along the Golden road and she had to admit that the road was a real adventure. Large enough for a small car to pass, she had to constantly focus on the road to avoid ending in a ditch or in a loch beside the road. But no matter the stress, she was loving it. Until the sheep arrived. One moment she was alone on the road. The next moment she was surrounded by sheep. A massive flock stretched for some length along the road. She got off the car, she took a picture and sent it to Lysandra with the caption traffic jam in the Hebrides. A moment later the phone rang. “Are you kidding me?” “No Lys, I swear I am surrounded by sheep. They are everywhere and I can’t go anywhere. Guess someone will come and collect them soon.” She heard Lysandra laugh “Sounds like you are having a great time.” “I am.” she confessed not entirely convinced. The memory of the fight with Rowan still stung and she was wracking her brain to find a way to fix things with him. She was… intrigued by him. He was brooding, infuriating and handsome at the same time. Plus he was the owner of a bookstore which was not bad. She wanted to be his friend but it looked like he was not interested. He had made that abundantly clear. Nothing I want to give you. Tears threatened to appear once again but she fought, not willing to let sadness spoil such a lovely day. So she had decided to put some distance. She would go to get her book when it arrived and then limit her visits to his shop, for as much as it pained her. He didn’t want to have anything to do with her. Well, she was granting him his wish. “How is going with Aedion?” She changed the subject. “Well, we have only been on a date but he’s great.” “Already planning your wedding?” Aelin joked and Lysandra laughed in reply. “Nah, just imagining having sex with him for now.” “Eew. I didn’t need to know that” “Seriously… the man has amazing hands and I spent the evening thinking what he can do with them. And if all the other parts are just as big as the rest of the body…” “Eewww. Ewwww and eeeeew.” “Since when you are such a prude?” Aelin laughed she wasn’t but she had no interest in listening her best friend talk about her boyfriend’s body parts. “Get a move on finding a man of your own and then you can fantasise about his body parts.” For a brief moment Aelin’s mind thought about Rowan’s hands and… No, stop. She could not go there. That was dangerous territory. “We’ll see.” Was all that she added. “I need you to come back to me happy.” “What if…” she paused for a second “what if I am not coming back?” “What do you mean?” In the distance Aelin noticed a tractor and the sheep began moving again. “Sheep are moving. Gotta go back home.” “Ok. Keep me posted.” She say bye to Lys and she was positive she felt a note of sadness in her friend’s voice.

The sheep finally moved and she spent the journey home mulling over what she had said to Lys. She could not see herself going back to London. Something had broken inside her. Maybe it was her that was broken. With her skills and experience she could easily find another job in another hospital. So why the rejection from one place hurt so much? And Chaol… London was a very big place, the chances of her bumping into him on the streets were minimal. However, they had loads of friends in common. She would have to give up her friends to avoid him. Give up her gym, her favourite bookstore and cafe, because he was a regular in those places too. She would have to give up her life to avoid him and the pain that seeing again would bring. She had felt relieved after the divorce. She still had no regrets. But forgetting almost a decade together was proving more difficult than she expected. She pushed on the breaks quite hard, forced the door open and run to the field near the road. And then she collapsed on her knees and screamed, letting out all the frustration festering in her. Her hands began shaking and she felt the symptoms of a panic attack starting to manifest. Breathing was getting harder. So Aelin stayed in the filed, and cried and shook. Until she had no more tears left in her.

[mimiswitchywrites]

Not A Burden: Chapter 7

TW: SH references, attempted s****de and references, child/s***al a**se references (not graphic but enough that could be triggering).

Master list or read on AO3

1.8k words

If you want to be tagged for updates, message me or comment!

One more chapter tomorrow and then a week or so of hiatus while I sort some life stuff out

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Merlin had been dreaming about a certain sandy haired royal for the last few weeks and he couldn’t figure out if he loved it or hated it. It made serving him far harder than it needed to be as all he could think about was the way dream Arthur had pinned him to his desk as he cleared it or how dream Arthur would give him the day off so they could go to the market together and how real Arthur would never do something like that. Real Arthur could barely look at him, let alone want to go out in public with him like that. On the other hand, dream Arthur was really fucking hot, and Merlin enjoyed that. He knew he could never have real Arthur, so it made him happy to at least have a version of him at night.

Was that sad? Maybe a little.

But, regardless of his feelings towards these dreams, he did not appreciate them being interrupted. Especially not by his frantic father-figure. Especially not when Dream Arthur had just got onto his knees and was beginning to undo the ties on Merlin’s breaches…

Gaius was rather insistent that Merlin wake up and help him find Miriam who, he guessed as he hadn’t really been listening properly, had vanished. He threw on yesterday’s clothes, too tired to look presentable, and made his way into the main chamber where, unsurprisingly, the spare cot was empty. He sighed, giving into the fact that he wouldn’t be getting anymore sleep, and ran out the door to ask the guards at the bottom of the stairs if they had seen her. Well, tried to run. Instead, he ended up inches from headbutting Miriam and, Lancelot? The latter of which seemed to be leaning in for a kiss that the former looked as if she really didn’t want to partake in.

He heard Gaius sigh from inside the room and settle down to get started on the days work. After letting the poor girl hurry inside and close the door behind her, Merlin decided to have some fun (it was only fair after such a rude start to the morning which Lancelot had played his part in.)

He started with a raised eyebrow, something he was getting far better at after being on the receiving end of Gaius’ for so long. The love-struck knight stuttered, trying to form a feeble defence.

“You know, out of all the knights, I thought you were the most responsible. Kidnapping a sick, defenceless young maiden? Whatever would the king say?” He bit his tongue to keep from laughing at Lancelot’s reddening face. He cracked, snorting unceremoniously and slapping the man’s arm in the hopes of getting him to lighten up a little.

“Relax, my friend, I don’t tell Arthur of every person his knights sneak off with – I would be there for years on Gwaine alone.” Lancelot finally let out a small laugh, still hot with embarrassment.

“I apologise if we worried you, I meant to have her back before you woke but we got… distracted.” He drifted off, thinking about how beautiful the shadows her lashes had cast on her cheeks as they watched the stars were.

“Distracted?” Merlin gave him a look that said: ‘you-know-how-much-that-sounds-like-you-took-a-tumble-in-the-hay-right?’ and, for the umpteenth time that morning, Lancelot turned beet red. He cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck and stumbling over No’s and That’s Not What I Meant’s.

Merlin could only shake his head at his friend, once again clamping his mouth shut to avoid laughing at him. He loved Lancelot like a brother, but the poor man was helpless, sometimes. He shoved the man gently, finally telling him to leave and get some sleep before training started in a few hours. The flushed knight (who, Merlin observed, matched the red of Camelot’s banner remarkably) made his way down the stairs, playing the night over and over, in his head.

It had not ended quite as he would have liked but gods be dammed, it was one of the best meals Lancelot had ever had. His free hand (the other still holding the picnic basket) ghosted over his lips, imagining how hers would have felt pressed against them.

--

Merlin entered the chambers, hopping into his room to prepare himself for his day with the king. Arthur would be holding a council meeting that afternoon so Merlin had to brush up on the topic (they would be discussing solidifying more roads between Camelot and its villages to help with trade, he was falling asleep just thinking about it) and he still needed to wash off the sweat from his dreams the previous night.

He made his way down to the kitchens first, parchments about the roads under his arm, and gathered the King’s breakfast, and an extra roll and sausage for himself. He overheard Cook muttering about how she needed more hands around and that one of her ‘good for nothing’ staff had stolen the excess that was meant to go to the dogs. He kept that in mind and made his way up to the Royal Chambers, nearly tripping over on one of the many staircases, only just keeping all the food on it’s platter.

Nodding to the guards on watch, he opened the door with his elbow and shuffled in backwards, knocking over the chair that was dangerously left in the doorway. Arthur moaned from his bed (a sound that Merlin knew he would end up replaying that evening once Miriam and Gaius were asleep) and pulled his pillow over his face. After dropping the breakfast on the table, Merlin made his way to the curtains, pulling them open.

“Up and at ‘em, time to brighten the Lords’ day with your cute little face” Merlin intended to say this with a sarcastic lilt but, distracted by those mouth-watering abs, failed to.

Arthur slowly pulled the pillow from his face, a look of confusion on his features as he watched his pitiful manservant watch him in some sort of daze. The pillow went flying from his hands, bashing Merlin back to reality.

Why must such a prat be so beautiful, he pondered as he gathered the Kings clothes for the day. He chose the tighter white shirt which he knew would be soaked after training later. He blushed at the thought, hiding a grin as he rummaged through the cupboard.

Arthur groaned, bringing his hands up to his face and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. If Merlin had to wake him up each morning, why couldn’t it be something nice like with a kiss or his long fingers adventuring? Was that truly so much to ask? Well, to fantasise about – Arthur knew there was no way he could actually ask for that. Merlin could say no or tell someone which would lead to a civil war or him overthrowing or, even worse, he could say yes and then Arthur would be the one that had to say no to prevent the aforementioned civil war or overthrowing. Arthur quite liked his head being attached to his body, but he knew it was unlikely to stay that was if his people discovered that he had certain inclinations towards men. Merlin was incapable when it came to keeping secrets and one as big as sleeping with the king was too much of a risk.

Arthur groaned again, finally rolling out of bed and allowing Merlin to help him into his clothes. He picked at his food, giving the leftovers to Merlin because gods knew he didn’t eat enough. The boy looked exhausted and sat on the trunk at the end of Arthurs bed as he devoured a sausage (don’t you dare go there, Arthur).

Pushing out from his chair, Arthur leant back against the table, so they were facing each other.

“What’s got you so tired? Sneaking off to the whore house in the dead of night?” Gods, he hoped that wasn’t it. He didn’t like how jealousy bubbled in his chest at the thought. Merlin’s brows shot up, practically jumping off his head, and he choked on the bread roll that he had tried devouring in a single bite. The boy turned red as he struggled to breath and Arthur, being the gallant knight that he was, hit him on the back, dislodging the food and perhaps a vertebra or two. His hand lingered longer than it should have, rubbing a few gentle circles before dropping to his side.

Finally getting air into his lungs, Merlin responded, “Took me forever to get to sleep and then I dreamt all night and didn’t get any proper rest and then, before the sun had even risen, Gaius woke me to say that Miriam had gone missing.” At that, Arthur straightened, worrying about the girl. Merlin noticed the way his eyebrows furrowed, and eyes drifted to the door and so added, “she was okay, she snuck off with Lancelot on a date or something. He said they got ‘distracted’.” Merlin wiggled his eyebrows at this, and Arthur’s head tipped back, laughing.

“I was hoping they would return at a decent hour, I’m sorry they caused you to lose sleep. Because, well you know, you’re terrible at your job when you’re tired?” A sloppy attempt at his usual façade but Arthur was busy focusing on the purple bags under Merlin’s eyes. He wanted to rub the pad of his thumb over them, cupping his face. The boy really should sleep more. He would get a great night’s rest in a bed like Arthurs (especially after their activities exhausted him). Arthur turned away from Merlin, forcing himself to get his thoughts under control.

“Wait,” said Merlin, finally catching up, “you knew about this?”

Arthur paused to think about his answer. Should he not have known? He hadn’t meant to, but he’d bumped into Miriam and they had a particularly useful conversation which he was sure Merlin would be proud of. “Yes?”

“Are you asking me that?” Merlin’s lipped curled at the ends and Arthur’s heart fluttered.

“I knew, yes. I found Miriam looking out at the courtyard in a brooding stance that would put even my father to shame. We talked and I think things are mostly resolved between us. Turned out she was only up there as she got lost trying to find Lancelot, so I lead her down to him and they went off. Looked like he had a basket, so I believe they had some sort of late-night picnic. It seemed sweet, really.” He muttered the last part, craving the opportunity to take Merlin on a picnic – late-night or otherwise.

Merlin hopped off the trunk (with the grace of a drunk, new-born, calf) and closed the distance between the pair, tentatively placing his hand on his master’s bicep. “I am glad you talked; I know you were struggling with the idea of doing so.” Arthur turned his head to look at Merlin. He loved the soft blue ocean that coloured his eyes and, had they been anywhere else, been anyone else, he would spend days looking into them. But he was the King, Merlin was his servant, and Camelot was no place for such things.

“Don’t be such a girls petticoat, Merlin.” They both ignored the break in Arthur’s voice.

“Prat.” Merlin offered in response.

Arthur watched out the window as Merlin cleared their breakfast up and tidied the mess Arthur had somehow managed to create between his dismissal and waking the clot pole up. There was a comfortable silence between the two that they had mastered over the half decade of knowing each other. At some point, Arthur turned to watch his manservant as he flittered about the room, sweeping clothes under the bed with his foot and wiping shapes into the table as he cleaned it. He truly was terrible at his job and yet Arthur didn’t think he had ever been matched with someone so well.

None of his previous servants would tolerate questions such as: “So, what were you dreaming about that kept you from resting so?” Merlin stopped in his tracks (bent over the bed, arse in the air, as he put the duvet back in its place. Arthur had to bite his knuckles to avoid doing anything he would regret.) He straightened and Arthur swore he could see a blush forming.

“Nothing really, I mean, I don’t remember. Dreams are so hard to remember and all that, right? I don’t remember. Uh,” he cleared his throat, “why?” A pause, “What did you dream about, sire?”

His previous servants most certainly wouldn’t ask something like that.

“You know what, I think I have training to lead now. We should go.” He nodded to himself, Merlin mimicking – still red – and the pair swept out of the room.

[toomanyrobins]

Those Four Words Pt. 1

summary: an escalating fight between Jason and his girlfriend leads to a tense two weeks in Wayne Manor

pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: language, mentions of sex and excessive drinking, mentions of character death

Jason Todd was in a terrible mood, having just got into an argument with Bruce. He decided to go up to his girlfriend’s studio to get away. She had been hard at work the past couple days and he was getting needy. He came up behind her on the floor and pulled her into his lap. She tried to wiggle out of his arms. “Jay, I'm trying to do something right now.

He tried to snuggle closer to his girlfriend, “I deserve some of your time too.

“Deserve? You’re especially demanding today. What did you do?” Jason scoffed and pulled away. “What has crawled up your ass?”

“You did.”

“I did? Huh, I think I would’ve remembered such a disgusting journey into your body.

“Dammit, Y/N! Enough with the sarcasm! You know what I’m saying.”

Y/N sighed at Jason’s attitude, “I don’t understand what you’re doing right now, but you are starting a fight just for the sake of an argument. I’m sorry, but I can’t give you what you want right now.”

“I don’t want anything from you,” Jason was standing over his girlfriend, his whole body tense, “From any of you.”

“Why are you being like this? What happened?”

“What? You thought the minute we started dating all of our problems would magically disappear? Are you really that naive?”

Y/N put her brushes down and stood. She tried to walk closer, but he matched each step, moving away from her. “Jason, where the hell is this coming from? I thought we had got past this. Even you and Bruce are in a better place.”

“You think I'll ever forget you abandoned me. You all did!”

“Abandon you! What have you been smoking? We thought you died!”

“You replaced me!”

Now, Y/N was angry too and it was rare that anyone saw her this way. She was deadly calm, but fire was roaring in her eyes, “I did not replace you.”

“That’s right, you were too busy whoring yourself around Gotham to even think about me.”

“That is not fair and you know it. I mourned you. We all mourned, you arrogant ass. I never stopped missing you.”

“I saw the articles, Y/N! Don’t pretend you were mourning me. You were too busy whoring yourself around Gotham.” 

Her mind went back to three years ago. Jason had died in an explosion set up by the Joker. She was sixteen and her best friend had died, and she hadn’t handled it well. What started as a way to get out of the with friends at simple house parties, had led to a wild secret life. Y/N had snuck out at night and used Bruce’s name to get into clubs. She drank anything she could get her hands on and had gone home with multiple men, trying to forget her pain. Once, Bruce had found out, her world had imploded. He sent her away and finally got her the help she should have received when her parents had passed. The only reason Y/N had moved back to the manor was because Jason had been found. She couldn’t believe that he was trying to use her moments of weakness against her,  “How dare you throw that back on me. I was just trying to numb the pain. It wasn’t like I was celebrating the fact that you were gone.”

“Yeah, it really looked like you missed me.”

“God Dammit, Jay! If you would just listen to me!

“Oh fuck off, Y/N! If I had known I was ever going to be stuck with you and your nagging, I wouldn’t have come back.”

“I wish you hadn’t!” The minute the words left Y/N’s mouth, she gasped and slapped her hands over her mouth. Jason’s emotionless mask slammed into place, and suddenly he was as blank as the day Bruce had found him again. He turned to walk out and Y/N chased after him, “Jay, wait! I’m sorry!” He jumped onto his motorcycle and was out the door before she could stop him. She slammed her fist into the wall and cursed in frustration and pain. No one would see either of them for the rest of the day. Y/N stayed in her studio, wondering how they got to the point of shouting such hurtful things at each other. 

The next day, they had both shown up for Friday night dinner, as was expected on them. Neither spoke, and the tension was too thick to be cut with a knife. Y/N had tried to pull him aside and apologize to Jason after dinner, but he had shot her with a cutting glare and walked away. The other could tell that something had happened, but no one had the details. Tim wandered into the library after patrol that night, to find her in a chair tucked into the corner. “What are you doing here (Y/N/N)? Isn’t it a movie night with Todd?” He noted the tear tracks down her face but knew she hated showing weakness, so he said nothing about them.

“I wasn’t feeling up to it, so I canceled. I think I’ll head to bed now. Night, Timmy.” Y/N went to her room and cried herself to sleep, the guilt overwhelming her as she played the argument in her head. If only she had just taken a break, maybe the whole situation could have been avoided. She woke up multiple times in the night, crying out Jason’s name after seeing him and the Joker over and over again. Finally, around 3 in the morning, she gave up on sleep and went to the kitchen to pour herself coffee. She decided to keep busy and started making breakfast for the family.

Alfred was the first to appear in the morning, as usual. Y/N tried to pretend that everything was normal, but nothing could be hidden from the family’s butler. He noted the dark circles under her eyes and the tremors in her hands from over-caffeination. The boys slowly started to emerge, and Alfred started to bring out all the food she had made. She made two plates out of habit and headed for the dining room. Y/N started to hand Jason his breakfast as she had every morning for a year, but suddenly she remembered and pulled her hand away. Jason didn’t even bother to look at her, and her heart clenched. She placed the plate on the table and walked back into the kitchen. “Sorry, Alfred, I’m not hungry. I think I’ll go paint.” She placed the plate she had made for herself on the counter and left.

Y/N’s studio had been a safe space since she had first moved into the manor. She had hidden away when she first arrived at Wayne Manor, unused to such an active family. Bruce had called workers to the manor and had redid the room when she had told him she liked art. Now, after years of work, canvasses filled the room on all sides. Some paintings, others photos, she had accumulated in the three years. They hung on the walls and were laid across the floor. She flooded the room with Swan Lake, her sad music, and started to mix her colors. The music she played had become an easy way for the others to discern her moods since she hadn’t spoken to anyone except Fallon, Bruce’s wife, when she first came. Bruce and Dick had installed a speaker system in her studio to drown out the noise when she was overwhelmed, and everyone in the Manor could hear it if she turned it on loud enough. When the first notes hit their ears, all eyes in the dining room turned to Jason. He refused to look up and make eye contact, instead staring at the breakfast that had been abandoned on the table. Once everyone had looked away, he pushed away from the table and disappeared.

This led to one of the most uncomfortable weeks in the Manor ever. Y/N barely left her studio and no one saw Jason for three days, before he returned. When he did, he started to act as if nothing had happened. The music had eventually stopped playing altogether, so they had no idea what kind of mood she was in. Finally, Damian was the one to gather everyone else together, “(Y/N/N) has not come out of her studio in a week. Since Buckethead has just decided to pretend nothing has happened. We need to fix this.”

Bruce spoke up first, “Jason and Y/N are both adults. They are both being immature, and it will eventually work itself out.

“How can we fix this when we don’t even know what happened?” Tim looked up from his laptop, “I’ve been checking in on Y/N on the cameras. All she does is paint, and the most she’s slept in days is when she falls asleep accidentally. That never lasts long, and she cries. A lot.”

“Why did Fallon have to leave! We need to fix this, or the family vacation is going to be the worst!” Dick collapsed on the couch. Fallon had finally convinced Bruce that the family needed a vacation, but two weeks before they were supposed to leave, her sister had had a baby. She decided to go help her out and just meet them at the resort. They now had a week left, and it was not looking good. No one wanted to bother their mother since she very rarely took time for herself and was enjoying time with her family. They decided Alfred would be the one to try and convince her to leave the studio at least and eat something.

He appeared in the doorway and watched silently as Y/N worked on a large canvas. He walked over and saw that it was a portrait of the family. “This is beautiful, Miss Bishop.”

“Thank you, Alfred,” her voice was hoarse from disuse.

“What is the plan for this one?” Alfred sat down next to her on the floor.

“Everyone hates photos, but Fallon wanted a family portrait for the sitting room.. Since no one can sit still long enough I decided to paint one and give it to her for her birthday,” she slowly sucked in a breath, “Plus they only have the old one and J--some people-- are missing from it.” Tears started to well up again in her eyes. Alfred wrapped an arm around Y/N and just sat with her for a moment.

“I’ve kicked the boys out of the kitchen. Do you think you could come down and eat something? For me?” She only nodded, and they both stood. Y/N sat on a stool and silently ate the soup Alfred had laid out for her. She barely tasted anything, and she was starting to feel dizzy. Her vision started to blur, and the next thing she knew, she was waking up on the floor and had five heads floating above her.

“Hi, guys. Thought the floor looked lonely.” She tried to sit up, but was cut off.

“That is it,” Bruce spoke firmly, “You are going to bed, and you are sleeping. I thought you were mature enough to deal with this but I see I was wrong.” He picked Y/N up and noticed she had lost weight. He carried her up the stairs and before he had reached her bedroom, she was already asleep again. Bruce turned to the boys. “At least one of you is staying in here with her and making sure she sleeps.”

Tim volunteered for the first shift and settled into her desk with his laptop. She had barely been asleep an hour before she woke up from a nightmare of Jason dying. She shot up and shouted out his name, before bursting into tears. Tim -- being the awkward person he is -- was ill-prepared to deal with the crying Y/N. The only solution he could think of was to climb into bed with her and pull up a movie. She slowly fell asleep again and clung to Tim like a starfish. When Dick came to relieve Tim and saw that he was unable to leave, he climbed into bed with the duo. Anytime Y/N would start to become distressed, they would calm her down. Eventually, Damian and Titus joined the cuddle pile, the former somewhat reluctantly, grumbling about how he was only doing this for Y/N. Little did the Bat Family know, Alfred had called Fallon and told her about the situation and she had rushed home.

[jasontoddiefor]

Idk if you write ocs, but if you do, can you write something about a male teen vigilante that was Jason's best friend? Something angsty but with a happy ending maybe, like Jason feels all alone after he came back and oc yells at him and makes him see he really cares about him?

Well, I wasn’t writing it before but now I sure am. Hope you enjoy this!

There was not a lot to be said about Arlo Temmings, exhausted high school student, but plenty about the upstart vigilante Stardust. Stardust was not affiliated with the batclan, not really, but Arlo supposed that had more to do with the fact that he really wasn’t the heroic, batarangs blazing, taking down mob bosses kind of vigilante. Arlo’s powers allowed him to heal others, given that he was physically well enough and had eaten enough. He’d always thought all those videos about metahumans and their heightened metabolism were jokes, but ever since he’d woken up with the ability to literally kiss away bruises, he’d been eating nonstop. Protein shakes were his new favorite breakfast, lunch and dinner because you could only eat so many pizzas before you started throwing them up on sight.

Arlo hadn’t even wanted to become a vigilante or do anything that had to do with healing. Honestly, he was planning to graduate high school with a just average enough GPA and then get some average job somewhere. He used to have bigger ambitions when he was twelve and had the coolest best friend possible.

Well, Jason Todd had been the tutor he’d gotten through their schools’ exchange programs, but he’d acted more like a friend. A very nerdy friend who was the living proof that some people got extremely lucky in life while others didn’t, but his friend nonetheless. Jason had planned to get a college degree at a fancy school, out of Gotham and told Arlo he should dream bigger as well, like graduating with honors big. Studying architecture.

Jason would be pretty disappointed to see how terrible Arlo’s grades had gotten, but Jason was dead and dead people couldn’t do shit.

So Arlo knew pretty much nothing about how human bodies worked except that the mitochondria were the powerhouse of the cell. Arlo had been flunking his biology exams ever since he had first been forced to learn about the fact that plants didn’t, in fact, just grow when Poison Ivy decided that now would be an awesome time to wreck an entire city block.

She’d also been the reason he got pushed into this whole hero business. Turned out that Arlo’s abilities were immensely useful when it came to disaster relief and so Stardust had been born. Crime Alley’s very own non-violent superhero, running around in a black hoodie, a Venetian mask covered with stars, and dark, paint-splattered jeans. Nobody had tried to hurt him yet when he walked out. Pushing the bats around who were all too willing to put you away for life was one thing, hurting the kid whose voice cracked when he was nervous, but could heal your broken bones while glowing like a supernova was something different. Arlo enjoyed his immunity, really. He only wanted to help others, make the world a slightly better place. He’d grown up staring at the pretty buildings at the other end of the city, wanting to live in one of them and built his dream around that. This situation wasn’t so different.

Tonight had been one of the bad nights though. Arlo had already gone through most of his snacks as people of all ages came to find him. Usually, he just walked through the streets, people spotted him and pulled him in new directions. It was reckless and stupid, but everybody knew Arlo was kind of untouchable because he cared for everyone and so everyone cared for Arlo.

And it wasn’t like anybody would be waiting for him at home. His father had died years ago and his mother was never there. The streets were kinder, more vibrant and alive, than Arlo’s actual home.

“Thank you,” the girl whose knee he’d fixed whispered.

“No problem,” Arlo repeated and yawned. He was tired and he had an early class tomorrow, or today if he wanted to be honest with himself. He should head back and try to catch at least three hours of sleep.

Arlo grabbed his bike and began heading home. As an unaffiliated vigilante, he didn’t have any fancy bat tech. Red Robin had offered to get him something, but Arlo wouldn’t know where to stick that anyway. Besides, the mob might start roughing him up if they knew he was on Batman’s payroll. So instead, Arlo had an actual normal bicycle. It had been a gift from Red Hood, who’d been a little appalled that Arlo just got everywhere by foot.

“That’s dangerous,” he’d said like he wasn’t waving around a gun at the same time.

Red Hood was a strange vigilante. He was no hero, he hurt and killed people, wrecked and ruined them and left behind a terrifying warzone. But he didn’t hurt kids.

That was one thing every child in Crime Alley knew. As long as you were young still, you didn’t have to fear the Red Hood. Adults were fair game, they were supposed to be better, but kids were just kids. Arlo himself had only just turned fifteen. He’d spent his birthday watching cartoons and doing an extra-long nightshift and then accepted a sleek black bicycle as his birthday present. He was reasonably sure the entire batclan knew who his civilian identity was, Red Hood did for sure or he wouldn’t have been able to deliver the bike to his house door. Arlo stopped his bike and parked it in the small garage all the families on the top floor had to share and made his way upstairs. He stretched and tiredly pulled his keys out of his pocket to open his door when he noticed that it wasn’t closed.

So his mom was back, likely drunk as well. Great.

Arlo pushed open the door and closed it behind himself. Without much care, he walked down the hallway, not bothering to turn on the lights. His mom would just complain about a headache or something. He entered the kitchen and opened up the fridge. Happily, he noticed that his takeout was still there. He took it out of the fridge and fished a fork out of the water basin and began munching on his noodles. He was so freaking hungry. Closing his eyes, he enjoyed his meal.

“Aahrlo?”

Arlo would later claim that he didn’t, in fact, scream, but that was exactly what he did when he heard somebody who was very much not his mother whisper his name. The food dropped on the floor and Arlo twisted around. Behind the table, in the very right corner of the kitchen, sat a dark figure. The must be tall and their hair was an inky black color.

“Red Hood?” Arlo asked and immediately rushed over to the other vigilante. “You- uh. Um, what are you doing here?”

He was pale and Arlo didn’t think it was just because of the moonlight illuminating his skin.

“Head wound,” Red Hood replied. “Didn’ know where else t’ go.”

Arlo kneeled down next to Red Hood and could only now spot the dark red that was quelling out between his hair. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, he was not going to bleed out in Arlo’s kitchen.

“Can you ‘elp?”

He was slurring his words, Arlo was pretty sure that was a bad sign. Due to the bad light, he couldn’t actually make out a lot of his features, and his mask still covered his eyes, but even so, Red Hood sounded so familiar and young. Arlo’s age kind of young. He’d never seen the other vigilante without his red helmet, but he’d assumed he was older. He was so brutal, so skilled.

Nothing like Stardust who barely knew how to throw a punch and was relying on other people’s goodwill.

“Hold still,” Arlo ordered and put his hands on Red Hood’s wound. The vigilante hissed, but Arlo didn’t even twitch anymore. He’d gotten so used to the feeling of blood sticking to his hands, it was almost welcome. He associated it with the rush he got when his powers activated.

“You glow,” Red Hood muttered, entirely out of it. He had lost a lot of blood, but head wounds generally bled a lot, didn’t they? “Like a fairy.”

Arlo giggled nervously and pushed his long dreads behind his back. “A girl I helped tonight told me I look like Rapunzel.”

“Nah,” Red Hood replied. “You’re not stuck in a tower all by yourself. You’re not-“ His breath hitched. “-not lonely at all.”

The wound was slowly closing, not as fast as it usually would, but Arlo was also dead tired.

“I don’t know,” Arlo confessed. “I feel pretty lonely all the time.”

Red Hood laughed, it was a dark and bitter sound, tethering on the edge of a sob or so it seemed to Arlo.

“But you’re good, always were. Helping people and all that. You’re not like me, you don’t fuck up. You stop listening and don’t give in to all that anger. You’re good and you don’t push people away and hurt them all over again.”

Arlo took his hands off Red Hood’s head and rested them on his thighs, blood smearing all over his jeans.

“You’re good too,” Arlo said. “You help people-“

“No,” Red Hood interrupted him harshly. “I just- I just get rid of problems. I shot a man point-blank. His brains just- it was everywhere and the kids were screaming and I just made everything worse but I was so fucking angry and didn’t even care-“

Arlo wasn’t good with words. He didn’t like reading, his dyslexia made it a god damn nightmare, and he couldn’t use all those fancy words he used to practice during tutoring because they felt so foreign on his tongue. Gestures, though, he knew. His parents used to be affectionate. His father was always holding him, had been holding him the day he died, protecting Arlo against debris. Slowly, to avoid startling him, Arlo put his arms around Red Hood. The other man tensed beneath Arlo’s touch, then slowly relaxed in his hold and even went as far as resting his head on Arlo’s shoulder, probably smearing blood all over it.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Arlo said, at loss for words.

“You shouldn’t be,” Red Hood replied. “You really, really shouldn’t.

“Well, I am,” Arlo insisted. “In fact, I’m so glad I’m going to cook you something because I need to eat and you need to eat and then I can heal any other injuries you have as well.”

Arlo kept on blabbering about whatever came to his mind until Red Hood was seated at his kitchen table and Arlo could hardly keep his eyes open anymore.

So, really, there wasn’t much to be said about Arlo Temmings, exhausted high school student and part time vigilante. His grades were held together by duct tape and safety pins and sometimes Red Hood nearly bled out in his kitchen while Arlo made an utter fool of himself and fell asleep on him.

[unrelletable]

The first thing I do when I enter any kind of new environment is to check out if I am the skinniest girl in the room. If the answer to that question is yes, I then usually proceed to relax and enjoy whatever activity I am there to do. It happened while I was in school, when I volunteered for a local non-profit organization, when I worked as a waitress for two months. But also when I started my six months internship, when I looked for my current flat, and it still does when I go shopping for clothes or when I take my dog out for his daily walks. I am pretty sure that this is going to be the first thing I will make sure to be aware of when I enter the first class of the year in a couple of weeks. And I guess it is needless to say I am quite tired of it.

I have never become fully concious of this little trick my brain plays on me until one day I found out that I had gained weigth. And people around me started to make me aware of it. I am not talking about pounds and pounds, but since I had been extremely thin for almost ten years, every new kilo showed on me. Even a single one. People had been complimenting me for my shape, and I had always thanked out loud my fast metabolism for it. When actually years before I had lost a considerable amount of weight due to pretty heavy treatments I had to go through because of a bone cancer. So we were definitely not talking lucky genes back then. In order to gain that weight back - we are talking about around fifteen kilos: I was 163 cm high and right after my last treatment session my body did not weigh more than 37 kgs - it took me quite a few years. According to the medical tables, my weight was finally considered healhty for my height, age and sex two years ago. Which meant that it took me exactly eight years to go back to be in an average shape. 

But this is not what society and diet culture made me believe for the most part of those years - and still does. I can not recall how many times people had made amazed comments on how great I looked and how hard they wished their body could process food as fast as mine. I have always considered these affirmations as positive and never - even for a split second - questioned the fact that a visibly underweight body was considered the dream body by so many people. I was grateful for being so thin, and I have enjoyed fitting into the smallest pieces of clothing without the need of holding my breath or sucking my tummy in. Until I had to. 

As I said, my current weight is perfectly average. I am not either too skinny or chubby. My tummy shows little rolls when I sit, but looks flat when I stand. I still wear size 4 jeans and I have never had to buy something sized M yet. I guess I still fit into the thin category, so according to the society that glorifies thigh gaps and visible collarbones I should not worry. Just yet. Unfortunately though, the diet culture we live in began to pull its strings on me at the very moment when I realized I was no more the skinniest girl in the room. 

I do not know what came with the conciousness of being the girl who weighed less than any other. Probably the fact that I was succeeding at something, and that I would be noticed for it. I do not like being the centre of attention, but I literally loved when someone would point out how thin I was and started asking how I could manage to keep my body so fit. I have never explained the actual reason why I could wrap my fingers around my wrist and a twist them leaving out a considerable amount of space. Firstly, because I was not at a point in my life where I felt confident enough to speak about my cancer diagnosis, even though by that time I had completely healed; secondly, because I liked the fact that people thought that the shape of my body was something I had to take credit for. It made me feel as if I stood out in the crowd, not realizing that it was for a completely wrong reason. 

The actual moment of realization that I had some issues about the way my body looked came around a year and a half ago, but I would say that did not have much of an impact until the beginning of the new year. By then I had found a internship and even though I had planned to, I did not have much time to invest in working out. Everything changed with the coming of Covid and the following quarantine: having tons of free hours felt like an obligation to exercise. And so I did. 

Chloe Ting became my workout pal and the background music of her Five Weeks Shred Challenge’s videos my nightmare: I sweated for almost an hour every single day for more than a month and restricted my diet to the point where I would allow myself a treat only on Sunday. The very first weeks were the absolute worst: my tummy would groan constantly and I would feel hungry all the time. I would wake up hungry, be hungry after half an hour from breakfast, not feel satisfied at lunch and dinner, and I would literally go to bed with a hole in my stomach. The only snacks I had was fruit, and I did not eat any kind of carbohydrates apart from pasta at lunch. No bread, no biscuits, no crackers. For a good four months. Eventually my body got used to the lack of food, and started to burn calories from the inside. I lost a couple of kilos and my abs started to show, my legs became definitely more toned and I was almost completely cellulite-free. 

But all I would do, all the time, was thinking about food. I would count down the days that were left until Sunday every week, and when that day would come I binged like there was no tomorrow. Causing myself to feel extremely nauseous for the next couple of days. In case I would eat something prohibited during the weekdays, I would feel extremely disappointed with myself, as if a single teaspoon of chocolate cream would actually make a difference. I would weigh myself almost every morning and feel an ache of pain in case the scale would detect a couple of hundred grams of difference from the previous morning. My goal was to finally gain a body like the ones overcelebrated on Instagram, but luckily I did not.

Around the middle of August it finally struck me. I had listened to one episode of a podcast series - for my fellow Italians, I am talking about Palinsesto Femminista - that shed the light on the topic of body positivity and its actual mean. It took me a good couple of days to process all the amazing things I had heard on that hour long conversation involving one of the two founders of the Belle di Faccia association, but eventually it did. I was minding my own businesses trying to decide whether I was allowed a slice of bread with Nutella for breakfast and all of a sudden I found myself asking Being skinnier would make me actually happier? And the straight answer to that was no.

I would love to say that for the past month it has been a walk in the park and that I have not felt guilty eating while eating crisps or having cookies with my morning tea, but I have to reckon that there has been a change. When I work out, I do it because I like the sensation I get aftewards and not because it would get me a step closer to my dream body. Even though I still eventually think that I will go back to eat in the way I did during quarantine, I have decided that in that case I will not restrict myself like I used to. I have realized that I want to eat clean for my body to feel good, and not in order to avoid a couple of tiny rolls on my stomach. I had to brainwash myself out of the concept that what I see online is the actual reality and that it should be the norm. Every body should be valid, regardless of their weight or shape. No one should feel forced to starve themselves in order to comply with an aesthetic that is simply not realistic. I have to say that online accounts like the ones of @/namastehannah and @/danaemercer have had a great impact on my approach to exercise and reality in the past months, and in case you are struggling with the same kind of unrealistic expectations about the way your body should look like I highly recommed that you check them out. 

After six months of ups and downs in the relationship with my body image, I have come to the point that I definitely should try to worry less about the way I look. I went through something similar with the acceptance of my face, and back then not having to wear make up for half a year thanks to the fact that I had to look after to kids and knew no one in the neighbourhood kind of made me become more confident with showing my bare face. And since I had the chance to do it all over again thanks to self-isolation, I have learned to become familiar with the sleepy face I see everytime I wake up. And I have to admit that I actually started to like it. I am sure sure if I will brave enough not to put any kind of make up on when I go to classes, but we will just have to wait to find it out. Who knows.

Thus I am hoping that I will be able to go through the same process with my body as a whole as well. I am now concious of the fact that I do not have to necessarily love the shape I am in, but I simply need to accept it for what it is and all the things that it allows me to do on a daily basis. I now know that it can change a thousand times during my lifetime, or even a single day, and regardless of it, it will always be worth. Let’s be honest, most posts of flat tummies and toned booties are edited or posed anyway. So what I am going to try to do is to let go of these insanely unhealthy expectations and focus on what makes me feel good. Regardless of those around me or those who pop up on the explore page.

- body image issues and other stories

[argylemnwrites]

Totally, One-Hundred Percent Brand New Information

Pairing: Maxwell & MC friendship; referenced Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (TRR Book 2, Chapter 14)

Word Count: ~1800

Rating:  PG

Summary: When Maxwell stumbles upon something he was not meant to see, he’s forced to reevaluate his understanding of Riley and what she wants. Can he make her see that her happiness matters more than House Beaumont’s financial woes?

Author’s Note: Written for Day 12 of the Choices July Challenge (prompt - Revelation).

So, in TRR 3, chapter 1, Bertrand is shocked to discover that MC is in a relationship with Drake. Liam, of course, knows this fact, but Hana and Maxwell also don’t seem phased by this news at all. I’ve always headcanoned that the two of them independently figured out that something was going on between MC and Drake at some point along the way. This is how I imagine Maxwell figuring it all out. Plus, it’s fun to revisit TRR2, which I adore. For those of you who remember in It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment, when Maxwell burst out that he’d known Drake and Riley were together? This is the way he figured it out in that AU as well.

Maxwell licked his fingers as he savored his last bite of his slice of pizza. He knew that he was calling it a bit close with timing, but worst case scenario, Justin would meet Riley at her boutique appointment before the UN party. After listening to Riley practically wax poetic about the joys of New York style pizza since she found out they were headed back to NYC, Maxwell had just been craving a slice of cheese pizza so badly. And working all day with Bastien on Mission Track-Down-Tariq had definitely worked up an appetite. He deserved it; he earned that pizza.

He turned the corner as he headed back toward the hotel. If he hurried, he could freshen up and then catch a taxi to that boutique without being too late. Up ahead, near the waterfront, he spotted two familiar faces in the distance. He nearly yelled out to them, wanting to see what they were up to when he stopped dead in his tracks, taking in the scene ahead of him.

He almost felt like he was watching things in slow motion. He had to be imagining things. But after blinking several times, he still was staring at Riley and Drake, his hand disappearing somewhere in her hair, hers running up and down between his shoulder blades. Oh yeah, and they were kissing each other.

This couldn’t be happening. This was Riley and Drake. Riley and Drake. Riley and Drake. She wasn’t supposed to be making out with him. She was in love with Liam, wasn’t she? Weren’t they working so hard to clear her name so that she could finally be with him? And wouldn’t her hooking up with his best friend make things awkward when she and Liam got back together? Or was Maxwell himself just really out of the loop here? I mean, it’s not like something casual would stop Liam and Riley from being endgame, and his matchmaking skills from finally being recognized. Plus, everyone needed to blow off steam now and then, although this must have been going on for a hot minute, because unless Drake had way better game than his grumpy old man persona would suggest, there was no way that this was their first kiss.

“Yeah, this definitely has been going on for a while,” Maxwell thought to himself as he watched them continue to make out. The real question became why neither of them had told him. Drake he could pretty well understand. That guy was so closed off and secretive. It’s not like Maxwell could really picture him being the type to kiss and tell under any circumstances. But Riley... well he thought they were super duper close. After everything they had been through together, why wouldn’t she have mentioned her fling to him?

As if the couple in the distance had some telepathic connection to his thoughts, they pulled apart just barely, Drake pressing his forehead against Riley’s. That gesture said it all. It was tender and gentle. This wasn’t lust; this was love. And that explained a hell of a lot about why Riley hadn’t talked to him. 

Or rather why she hadn’t tried to talk to him again. Because the little voice in his head that sounded a lot like Bertrand piped up, “Back during the social season, didn’t she tell you she had feelings for someone else? And didn’t you basically ignore that and try to tell her that her feelings were all for Liam?” Had she really been falling for Drake for months now and not told him about it just because of his comments way back then?

So many things made sense now. Drake coming back to their train car at weird hours looking some odd combination of thrilled yet guilty as hell. Riley always gravitating towards Drake when they hung out as a group. Drake tagging along to more things with the whole group in general. Maxwell was usually good at reading people. How could he have missed that two of his closest friends had fallen in love with each other?

Maxwell wondered if anyone knew about Drake and Riley. They were clearly keeping things a secret. He could guess at Drake’s reasoning there. When this all came out, things between him and Liam were gonna be a mess. And knowing Drake, he probably was just rolling along, hoping that somehow this would all shake out without causing too much drama. Either that, or he was convinced that Riley was gonna choose Liam over him in the end anyway. After all, Maxwell knew of at least five women from back in the day who had actively seduced Drake to gain access to Liam, back before Drake started questioning everyone’s motives, or at least back when he wasn’t so aggressive in questioning them.  

But why would Riley keep this quiet? Maybe she was conflicted, torn between Liam and Drake? But even as a passing thought, that didn’t seem quite right. Thinking back over the engagement tour, Riley had often chosen to spend time with him, Hana, and Drake, turning down more and more invitations from Liam as time went on and seeming more reluctant to spend time alone with Liam than she had before. Maxwell had assumed that she was just nervous that they wouldn’t clear her name in time as the wedding got closer, but with this new information, he now had a better explanation. She didn’t want to be alone with Liam. She wanted to spend time with the guy she actually was interested in. It all seemed so clear now, other than the fact that she apparently didn’t want anyone to know she was into Drake.

Or maybe she just didn’t want him to know. After all, he and Bertrand had made it pretty clear that they could use the financial boost that would come from their pick being named queen. Did she really think that he would value some money over her happiness, though? Didn’t she know that he had come to love her like a sister. “Not after the way you responded to the mere suggestion that she might be interested in anyone besides Liam, you imbecile,” his Bertrand head-voice chimed in. Ahh, crap. 

He needed to fix this. If Riley and Drake wanted to be together, then they should be together. The more Maxwell thought about it, the more he liked the idea of them together. Riley seemed to have a way of teasing Drake, getting him to lighten up and enjoy himself now and then without putting him on the defensive. And Drake could match Riley’s snark and sarcasm in a way that Liam never ever could hope to achieve. Maxwell knew what he had to do. He had to talk to Riley and make sure she understood that her happiness was the only thing she should consider in her love life.

Not wanting to run into the two of them as they made their way back to the hotel, Maxwell spun around and flagged down a taxi, deciding he would just meet Riley and Justin at the boutique. But when Riley got there, Justin’s presence made it hard to have a heart to heart with her. Maxwell resigned himself to waiting until the next morning to have this chat. After all, he could bring her breakfast when he woke her up, maybe get her to confide in him again. But later that night, when they were tucked away in at a table in the corner together at the UN party, chatting about clearing her name and finding Tariq, Riley handed him a golden opportunity.

“That’s not… Even if we find Tariq, you never know what’ll happen. So what happens if I don’t become queen? ”

This was it. She was feeling him out again, trying to gauge his reaction now, months after he had shot her down. Her more subtle approach was obvious, edging toward the topic instead of diving straight in like she did when he told her that she was just confused, that she must only be interested in Liam.

“I just want to know that you and Bertrand… and Savannah and little Bartie… will be okay,” she continued, seemingly fascinated with her whiskey sour, clearly avoiding eye contact with him. He had to ease her mind, let her know that she was more than a ticket to House Beaumont financial stability.

“You know me. I’ll breakdance my way to success. Or maybe become a magician! Hmm… or I could be a best-selling author…”

“Maxwell…”

Alright, light-hearted reassurances were not working. She was clearly torn up over this. Time to change tactics.

“Right, uh… As for Bertrand… He’s kinda figuring things out right now, I think. But, Riley… When I invited you to Cordonia… I liked you, but I didn’t know you. I saw how Liam looked at you and thought maybe I could help him and set things right for House Beaumont. I didn’t know things would be this hard.” The rest of his thoughts he left unsaid, “I didn’t know you would fall in love with someone else along the way. I didn’t know you would have to hide your true feelings for the one person who should be your biggest source of comfort while your name was dragged through the mud.”

“Maxwell, you couldn’t have.”

“I know, just… What I’m trying to say is that the way things are with House Beaumont… That’s for me and Bertrand to fix, not you. I don’t want you to be unhappy because of us...”

He hoped his message was clear - go be happy with Drake. She looked up from her drink with a small smile. He couldn’t tell if she knew that he knew based on his words, but he hoped she did. She was easily one of his best friends on the planet, and he only wanted the best for her.

“Oh, Maxwell… It… means a lot to hear you say that.”

Alright, she got what he was saying. And as glad as he was that he could clear the air here, he wanted to be one-hundred percent sure she understood he was sorry for the way he reacted back all those months ago.

“I… I never meant to make our problems your problems. If you don’t marry Liam… I’m sure Bertrand will find another way.”

Riley paused for just a moment before she responded, “Thank you, Maxwell… Come on, let’s head back to the party.”

So she clearly wasn’t ready to openly confide in him just yet, but that was okay. As long as she understood that he was here for her, on her side no matter her choice, he could wait until she was ready to tell him everything. And when she did, he promised himself he would show her and Drake all the enthusiasm they deserved.

Tags: @dcbbw @mfackenthal @jovialyouthmusic @iplaydrake @gibbles82 @drakewalkerisreal @riley–walker @thequeenofcronuts @notoriouscs @butindeed @kinda-iconic @choicesjulychallenge

[sammyspreadyourwings]

Poly!Queen prompt? :)

It was during a small thunderstorm when Brian heard the pitiful meowing outside of his bedroom window, turns out that there’s a black cat wandering on the balcony all dripping wet; Seeing this Brian quickly brought it in and wrapped it up with fluffy towels to keep it warm. The cat purred and stayed the night but in the next morning it’s gone, much to Brian’s chagrin. A few nights later there’s the familiar meowing in the same spot again and to his surprise, the cat returned and this time it brought two more of its friends along, one with darker brown fur and one with lighter color fur akin golden. They proceed to make themselves at home immediately as if they own this place and Brian’s not exactly complaining since they’re all so cute and weirdly well behaved. Sometimes it feels like they can actually understand what he’s saying. The cats also insist on sleeping with him in his bed and refuse to be deterred by any means so it becomes a common thing to wake up with three cats cuddling him; It’s a very lovely feeling for most of the time but sometimes he gets really embarrassed when he wakes up with morning wood, arousal simmering hot and heavy and perhaps he’s over-thinking this but whenever that happens, he always finds himself facing “meaningful” stares from his three cats and their lingering glances follow him all the way as he excuse himself to the bathroom, as if he’s prey. About a month after he’s “claimed” by the cats (he gets the distinct feeling that it’s actually them owning him and not the other way around), Brian ran into his ex-boyfriend while shopping for groceries and it dredged up buried old feelings, but not the pleasant kind. He bought alcohol, got home, plopped down onto his bed and got so drunk that while all cats gather to huddle with him, he may or may not have cried and start babbling about missing being loved and cared for and the intimacy between partners. He eventually blacked out with the cats licking his face.

The following morning Brian totally freaks the heck out that when he wakes up, still drunk and disoriented, found that his cats are nowhere to be seen and instead there are three incredibly gorgeous man naked, on his bed, with him, all bearing way too much resemblance to his three cats. On top of that, apparently they’re currently in the process of undressing him. The way that they’re licking their lips and staring at him with such hunger as if they want nothing more than to devour him has Brian weak in the knees and wanting to bare his throat to them instinctively.

I didn’t write the smut, and there are a few reasons for that and I think this turned out nice either way? So hopefully you’ll enjoy!!

🌠🌠

Brian tosses the newspaper into the recycling bin. As usual the rain surprises him, despite having lived in England his entire life. Before he shuts the door, he hears a soft noise. He frowns and turns around, peering enough outside of the door to keep dry. Yellow flashes at him.

“Mrow.”

“I’ll be right back,” Brian rushes to the bathroom to pull out the fluffiest (but oldest) towel he could find before rushing back to the front door.

The cat has leaped down from the window sill onto the porch. He wraps the towel around the sopping wet thing. Brian kicks the door shut while cradling the cat in his arms.

“Hush, you poor thing,” Brian coos.

He wanders into the kitchen and turns on the tap for warm water. Brian grabs the first clean bowl he can find and sets it down on the ground. The cat, despite being stray seems content in curling up in his arms while he moves around.

Once he’s got a bowl of water he quickly runs the towel over the cat, warming up its shivering body.

“There you are,” Brian sets it down, “I’m going to make a bed for you near the heater, hm?”

The cat flicks its tail in understand. Brian leaves it to the water before grabbing the one box he hasn’t broken down yet and grabbing a few more old towels. A safe distance away from the heater, he admires his work.

“Well you’ve got a bed.”

The cat looks up from the water. It really is beautiful, sleek black fur well maintained for a stray. Dark brown eyes stare at him before blinking slowly.

“That means you like me?”

He opens his fridge and frowns. Brian moves over to his cabinet where to his great relief there’s a single can of tuna. It probably isn’t the best thing to give the cat, but the poor thing is starving.

He drops it in a second bowl and sets it down to the food. Brian scoops the cat up, who happily climbs up him and around his neck.

“This is your bed,” Brian crouches.

The cat purrs.

“Okay, let’s get you back to your dinner.”

“Mrow!”

Brian watches the cat devour the tuna. He smiles when it looks up and licks its lips.

“Night.”

When Brian wakes up the cat is gone. He tries to not be so disappointed; it was a stray (likely dumped as a kitten) looking to get out of the rain. It had been nice, though to have something to talk to, even for a little bit. Maybe he should adopt a cat? Surely the shelter will have one that he gets along with.

😺😺😺

Saturday morning he’s woken by something scratching at his window. He’s confused for a moment before he realizes he fell asleep while playing. Brian sets the guitar in her stand, before wandering to the window to see what had woken him up.

It’s not even half six.

He pushes open the window only to jump back in surprise when a black blur jumps in.

“You’re back,” Brian crouches to stroke the cat under its chin.

A second blur jumps in. This one a magnificent gold, it’s hair matted in some places. It trots up to him and weaves between his legs. Brian pets it, trying to avoid the mats. Hopefully they won’t have to shave it.

The black one jumps back on the window, “Mrow!”

A third one jumps up. It looks younger than the other two. This one is dark brown with medium length hair and tiny white markings that make it look like booties.

“Had to convince your friends?” Brian asks the black one.

It blinks.

“Well, I suppose if you’ll have me, I’ll have you  three.”

The black cat resumes its spot around his neck. The yellow one almost seems as though it's pouting, and unsurprisingly the brown one is sniffing away from him and at the box.

“We’ll go, well, I’ll go supplies shopping for you three, but let’s see if we can’t find a vet open on Saturday.”

The black cat flexes its claws into his shoulder.

“Not that I think you’re carrying anything,” Brian soothes, “but I’d rather not risk it. Plus I think a stranger looking at your bits will make everyone more comfortable.”

He must think of names for them.

There is a singular vet clinic in his part of town that opens at eight. Brian has a strange moment of trying to figure out how to get them all into the car and clinic without the mayhem three cats could cause.

Does he still have the dog kennel that his ex left?

😺😺😺

Brian quickly grows accustomed to his three little supernovas. The vet had put him on the spot for names, and so his boys had been stuck with the first thing he could think of. Cosmos takes up his job of being Brian’s neck warmer, flicking his tail in Brian’s face every so often when he needs a break. Helios frequently makes a nuisance of himself, knocking things off desks or tables when he’s been ignored.

Usually Brian must brush him to get him to stop before he escalates to glass things.

Finally, Umbra takes up residence on his lap most of the day before growing bored and napping elsewhere.

Needless to say, Brian’s gotten used to cat hair in places it shouldn’t be and his boys clinging to him all hours that he’s home. Yelling at him when as soon as he gets home from lecturing or playing with his old band. Then proceeding to spend the rest of the day, just out of reach like they’re playing hard to get.

“Fine, don’t love me. See if you get a snack after dinner.”

That usually gets them to come around.

The one thing that he can’t adjust to is touching himself with the cats in the room. Since they run his house now, he struggles to kick him out of his bedroom. Otherwise they just watch him try to calm down his morning wood with almost smug looks on their faces.

“I could cut your balls off,” he grouses before loudly slamming the door to the bathroom.

Sure enough, there are two loud yells from the outside and a tiny white foot poking under the door.

“Fifteen minutes! I swear. Then you’ll get your breakfast!”

As he said, he’s not touching himself with the cats in earshot and resigns himself to cold showers those mornings.

😺😺😺

Thing progress like that for a month. Brian busies himself with his work and writing songs no one will here and playing with his cats. He doesn’t realize how lonely he is until he bumps into Chrissie at a music festival. She’s with her fiancé, judging by the impressive diamond on her finger, and the fact she looks more than a little pregnant.

“Brian May?”

“Chrissie! Hello, dear, how are you?”

“Wonderful!” They kiss each other on the cheek in greeting.

“How about yourself, still enjoying that paper avalanche you call an office?”

Brian grins, “well, you’ll be happy to know summer has come.”

“Did they fall over and the janitor gave up?”

“More like I gave up. Scanned everything and put it on a flash drive.”

Chrissie laughs, “I knew you’d listen eventually. You know, we’re going to be having a baby shower in, oh, what’s the date sweetie?”

Chrissie fiancé, who looks pleasant enough (so he trusts Chrissie or she hasn’t mentioned Brian as her ex), pauses, “I think two weeks from Sunday?”

“Ah yes. Do you still at the flat on Warren?”

Brian nods, “yes.”

“I’ll send you a card. I do hope you show,” Chrissie winks, “I have some friends who are exactly your type.” Brian wonders if she meant the women he used to go after or the men he is now actively pursuing. Or would be, if he went out.

“Thanks!”

Chrissie smiles at him, before grasping her fiance’s hand, “oh, Brian this is Richard, Richard this is Brian.”

“Pleasure,” Brian extends his hand.

“Charmed.”

Brian leaves the festival shortly after that, but not before he slips into a nearby liquor store and buys three of the biggest bottles of “get drunk quick!” alcohol. The clerk looks at him with a frown.

“Having a party,” Brian supplies.

A pity party with his cats. Truly. He’s peaked and he’s not even thirty.

As expected, Helios yowls (more like screeches) as soon as he crosses the barrier. He hears the jingle of Umbra’s collar and Cosmos stretches as he stands from where he was sunning himself. Brian sends the boys a grin but wanders into the kitchen. He makes sure to serve out the proper portions and refill their main water.

Cosmos stretches up his leg, wanting to be picked up. Helios jumps up on the counter, Brian promptly sets him on the ground but that’s when Cosmos attempts to claim his spot.

“Sorry, boys, I’m not in the mood for cuddling tonight.”

“Brrow?”

He flicks his eyes down to Umbra who is staring at him with judgmental eyes.

“I’m an adult you know.”

Brian drops Cosmos on top of Helios (gently), which causes a tiny disgruntled scuffle. It’s enough for him to fill the first shot glass and knock it back. He doesn’t wait for the burn to disappear before he’s knocking back the second.

By the time he’s on his third, the boys have gotten themselves straightened out. Brian is already feeling the heat rush to his cheeks. Not trusting himself (and there’s no one else in the house) he grabs the open bottle as he sways to the living room.

He pulls from the bottle directly clutching the neck tightly. By the time the bottle is a quarter of the way gone, he feels all of his anxiety melt away. Brian sips again.

This time Helios jumps on his chest, looking annoyed at the bottle.

“Can’t have any kitty.”

“Brru.”

He takes another sip. Umbra scratches his hand. Brian drops the bottle. It rattles but doesn’t tip over. He cradles his scratched hand and the tears start coming.

“Even my cats don’t love me,” he whines pitifully.

Cosmos curls up on his shoulder.

“I’m going to die alone, and not even my cats will care.”

Umbra looks guilty and Helios seems offended. Great. Now he’s projecting feelings on to felines.

“I thought that I’d always have you three. Well until you die because cats don’t live as long as humans.”

Which sends him into another fit of tears. Helios lays across his face.

“Please suffocate me.”

“Brru.”

Umbra jumps up and stretches across his lower stomach. Brian sniffles and reaches for the bottle. His fingers wrap around it and he has a second of confusion as he tries to figure out how to drink around the cat.

He manages by pushing Helios to his neck. It does make him choke, but he gets another pull from the bottle. Drinking any more than this is going to give him alcohol poisoning, and he seriously doubts that his cats are going to be able to figure out enough to not let him choke on his own vomit.

“God, I wish someone would love me.”

😺😺😺

Brian wakes up to three very naked men panicking in his living room. It’s dark outside and he decides that he is both too early and too drunk to deal with this.

😺😺😺

When he wakes up the second time. A throbbing headache, but pills and water in reach he figures he must’ve hallucinated the men. At some point he must’ve stumbled to the bathroom to make sure his morning is somewhat tolerable.

Way to go past him.

Brian opens his eyes fully, and much to his surprise there are still three men in his living room. This time they aren’t naked. They are in his clothes though. He hopes they shut the door so the cats don’t get out.

“Where are my cats?”

“Funny story,” the dark-haired one says.

“We’re your cats. Well. We weren’t actually cats? Actually, we are but not really?”

Brian blinks at the blond, “what?”

“Do you believe in magic?” The dark-haired one says.

“No.”

“Oh. Well.”

“That’s fair,” the brunette says.

Brian looks between them all, wondering if he’s just having a fever dream.

The dark-haired one steps forward, “you see, these two slept with a witch and didn’t call her back, and I slept with her brother and didn’t call him back, and who knew witches were real?”

“And the curse?”

“Full moon,” the brunette says, “only true love’s kiss can break it, but every full moon we have a chance to break it.”

“Ah.”

Brian raises his eyes to the heavens. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do about this.

“What are your names?”

The three blink at him in surprise.

“Human names,” Brian says, “I’m sure you don’t want me calling you the names I’ve given you for the rest of your time here.” Because obviously they’re going to leave him. Just like everyone else does. Brian bites back the tears and waits for his answer.

“I’m Freddie,” the dark-haired one says, “Cosmos, as you like to call me.”

“Roger!” The blond chirps, “or Helios.”

Brian turns towards the brunette, “so you’re Umbra?”

“Or John.”

“Do you want breakfast? That doesn’t come from a tin?”

The three nod excitedly. Brian shrugs. At least he’ll have company for the day. Maybe this really is a dream, it’s a good one, so he might as well enjoy it while it lasts.

[kvhottie]

A love that’s like glowing tinder in a slow-building fire. It isn’t until Yuki and Nico become roommates that they realize that the signs were always there.

Rating: Explicit |Pairing: NicoYuki |Tags: Post-Canon, Living Together, Feelings Realization, Light smut

[Ao3]

________________ 

“Do you want to live together?”

Nico rushed through the question, not even offering Yuki a greeting when he picked up the phone. It made Yuki pause, mind loading for a brief second.   The thought of them living together wasn’t displeasing. Over the last year they’d grown apart because Yuki had been working hard in his yearlong internship at the Legal Research and Training Institute and Nico was determined to actually graduate this time around. But they had shared drinks and dinner every few months in an attempt to keep their friendship as strong as their busy schedules would allow them.   Nico was the closest he’s ever had to a true friend. Plus, Yuki was already looking for an apartment since he was done with his internship, and in turn his stay at the Institute’s dormitory. The timing was perfect.   “Sure, let’s do it,” he nonchalantly replied, and the deal was sealed.

The first few weeks of living together were rocky—Yuki was particular, detailed-oriented, and pristine. Nico was, well, “clean enough” as he would call it. But with some practice Nico learned to pay a bit more attention to where he put grocery items in the fridge and to properly clean the bathroom sink when he finished shaving. And Yuki practiced not popping a blood vessel over every misaligned mug and the occasional sweater Nico left hanging over the back of the couch. It was all a work in progress.   By the sixth month mark they were synchronized and living surprisingly well together. They took turns making dinner (though they scarified their stomachs more than a few times to get to this point of basic culinary skill) and shared each other’s company for early breakfast or very late dinner. With Yuki working as a rookie lawyer in the acclaimed TMI Associates Law Firm and Nico having landed a software development job with Panasonic, they both spent most of their time during the weekday at work. But the little bits of free time they had, like on the weekend and the few blessings of vacation, they spent it together doing a varied mix of activities. Running was one of the activities they did together most often. Though usually initiated by Nico, Yuki easily went along with his suggestion to do a leisurely Saturday and Sunday morning run. Neither had completely lost the fire for running they had gained (or rekindled in Nico’s case) under Haiji’s influence. It had died down to just a small, warm blaze present in their hearts, but it was there nonetheless—sparking a tiny, breathy smile during every run.   They also passed their time sitting at their dinner table, chatting about work or anything interesting they’d heard from the news, and twisting those weird metal dolls Nico started making after he quit smoking. Yuki no longer made any profit from selling them online, but he started an Instagram account for them out of respect for the huge collection Nico had accumulated. The account had a loyal fifty-seven followers and was steadily rising.   Apart from that, they each had their own pastimes. Nico’s were focused around being indoors with his laptop or TV, and Yuki’s consisted of going to the club or a concert. There was a brief period during the first few months of them living together that Yuki spent every other night giving Nico a sampling of his favorite electronica music. He even dragged Nico along with him to the club once—only for Nico to last a total of forty-five minutes before bailing. After that experience Nico drew the line at listening to Yuki’s music at home whenever he wanted to share it, but absolutely no clubs.   And so Yuki continued attending the club alone, as he had always done. But there were nights that he’d return with someone else, mostly women, and a sprinkling of men. Since graduating university he had been introduced to an array of experiences, a majority of them pleasant, and had quickly learned that as long as he found the person attractive, he had no preference as to whom he was sleeping with. There was just one rule: he wanted no attachments and therefore would only sleep with a person once. He had no time or patience to deal with other people’s emotions. He barely had time to put up with his own.   “The guy you brought yesterday was a jerk,” Nico commented offhandedly while they ate breakfast.   Nico was generally indifferent to Yuki bringing strangers to the apartment. And it was only fair. They were splitting the rent equally and it was in Yuki’s right to do whatever he wanted in his own room. But still, Nico had never even once complained, neither about the frequency nor the mixed gender of his partners.   Yet…recently, there was an expression that overcame Nico’s face every time Yuki brought someone home that Yuki couldn’t put his finger on. It was one he had never seen before, and had since burned into his mind. Some nights he’d even purposefully meet eyes with Nico when coming in the door with yet another stranger—just to see if he could catch a glimpse of that expression again.   The look on Nico’s face at the moment was awfully similar.   “Really?” Yuki replied in between bites of his sausage. “Did he say something rude to you?”   Nico sighed and set his empty coffee mug down. “He bragged and babbled a bit too many details about you.”   “That piece of shit…” Yuki muttered under his breath, only to shrug a moment after. “Well, I’m not surprised.”   “The majority of people you sleep with are jerks.” Nico set his chopsticks down and met Yuki’s eyes. “Shouldn’t you be more wary of who you bring over?”   Yuki narrowed his eyes and sucked his teeth, straightening his back. “I’m just fucking them, Nico. And I only see them once. I could care less about their personalities.” He picked up his mug to finish his coffee and took a few sips before continuing. “Anyway, it’s none of your business who I sleep with.”   Nico blinked a few times and nodded, eyes and lips curving downward. “Okay, then.” Without another word he got up from their low table, washed his dishes, and headed back to his room to dress for work.   Yuki stared down at his plate, half of his brain cells calling himself an asshole and the other half reassuring him that he hadn’t been that harsh. Nico normally took Yuki’s sass and threw it right back at him, but for some reason that didn’t happen this time. It’s not as if he was psychic and could predict when his sass was going to affect Nico or not. So it wasn’t his fault.   But regardless of Yuki’s thoughts on the matter, for a week or so after that morning, Nico started mildly avoiding him. He’d still say good morning and respond when Yuki addressed him, but he all of a sudden was rushing out the door in the mornings without having breakfast, falling sleep before Yuki got home, or getting home after Yuki fell asleep. Yuki was fuming—the mere fact that Nico thought he wasn’t being blatantly obvious made his eye twitch. Since he first met Nico, Yuki had the uncanny ability to always tell when something was off with him, and he could never leave it alone. But he was stubborn, and confronting Nico on this matter would be like losing out in some sort of way. So he just let it continue, irritation simmering under his skin. ________________ 

The waitress brought Yuki and his coworker, Fumi, their second round of drinks. Yuki reached over for his whiskey highball, lips cracking into a smile as Fumi continued his rambling story.   “And then the chief practically ate him alive. He was so livid that a senior lawyer would do such a stupid mistake,“ Fumi exclaimed, sitting back on his chair with a satisfied smile. “You’re working on the Tamaki case with the chief, right? He must be a hard-ass about everything.”   “He’s not that bad. I actually enjoy how fastidious he is.”   Fumi scoffed, “It’s because you’re just as anal. Did you know that the meticulous way you organize your pens has gained notoriety and people pass by your desk just to see it?”   “I just like things to be neat.” Yuki shrugged, swirling the ice in his drink. “My life would be easier if more people around me functioned at this level but—“   Yuki’s stopped mid-sentence, eyes darting to his phone that had just buzzed and lit up with a message. He didn’t even have to unlock the phone to read the entirety of the text.   From Nico:   Do you think we should stop living together?   But he unlocked his phone anyhow, wondering if there was more to the text—an explanation of some sort. There was nothing. So Yuki read the text message over a few more times, getting increasingly more upset and self-deprecating with each pass. Of course, it was only a matter of time until Nico got tired of him. He had been nothing but an understanding friend and roommate, and was just worried for him; yet Yuki chewed up his kindness and spit it back out with not even one apology to spare. He didn’t blame Nico. Even he’d get tired of himself.   “Hey, Yuki!”   Yuki looked up from his phone to Fumi fervently waving his hand at his face. “Oh. Yeah, sorry. I was just reading a text.”   “You okay? You got all serious and then zoned out. I’ve been calling you for like a good minute.”   “Well, if all of a sudden wanting to get smashed constitutes as fine,” Yuki waved down the waitressed, “then I am excellent.”   It took about three more rounds.   By the time the waitress hesitantly returned with the 6th round Yuki had demanded, the room was spinning. He had promised Fumi that this one for sure would be the last, but Fumi forced the drink out of his hand and chugged it, just so that it wouldn’t touch Yuki’s babbling lips.   “Give me your phone,” he ordered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “There’s no way you’re getting home alone in this state.”   “No. I’ll be fine if I rest a bit,” Yuki slurred as he set his head on the table. “Just give me fifteen minutes…”   The next time his eyes creaked open, he was being carried on a firm, wide back. It smelled of shampoo, strong coffee, and home.   “Nico?” Yuki croaked, face lifting just enough off of Nico’s shoulder to catch a glimpse of his tussled hair.   Nico gave a small chuckle that Yuki could feel against his chest. “We’re almost to the apartment, drunkard. You sound terrible.”   “Sorry I’m useless.” Yuki murmured, burying his face into Nico’s neck.   “You’re the farthest from that. I actually wish you’d be useless more often, maybe that way you’d rely on me a bit more.”   “You’ve never mentioned that before.”   “…There’s a lot I don’t tell you.”     Yuki slid off Nico’s back the instant they were inside their apartment. He tripped climbing up from the entryway but Nico caught him before he planted face first. He insisted he was fine walking on his own and clumsily made his way to their kitchen to get himself a glass of water. Having forgotten where they stored the cups in his drunkenness, he opened each cabinet in search for one.   “It’s your fault I’m drunk, you know,” he sputtered, pointing accusingly at the approaching Nico.   ”How is it my fault?”   Yuki finally found the right cabinet and grabbed a glass cup, stumbling over to the sink. “Your stupid text!” he yelled. “You sent me that stupid text and I was so angry that I got drunk. So it’s you’re fault.” He tried opening the sink faucet but was turning the nob the wrong way.   Nico reached for the faucet nob to turn it on for him, “Here, let me—“   “No.” Yuki said sternly, shoving Nico’s hand away. He set his cup aside and gripped the edge of the sink. “I don’t need your help. So you’re free to move out whenever you want. I know that I’m horrible to live with and I’m always being rude to you. You should have told me much earlier that you’d gotten tired of me.”   Nico took Yuki’s arm and swung him around, trapping him against the sink. He turned on the faucet and filled the glass cup halfway. Yuki watched him, eyes following his right hand until it was gently pushing the cup into Yuki’s left one. He held on to it, resting that hand on the sink ledge from fear of letting it fall in his clumsiness.   “As if I could get tired of you,” he sighed, face a few centimeters from Yuki’s.   Yuki slowly lifted his gaze to meet Nico’s. It was in this close distance that he could see how knitted his eyebrows were, and how much exhaustion and pain hid in his eyes. “Then what are you unhappy about? Out with it, you coward,” spat Yuki, voice a weird mix of agitated and desperate.   Nico laughed through his nose, lips twisting up into a dumfounded grin. He leaned even closer until his mouth was by Yuki’s ear and their bodies were completely flush. “You’re lucky I’m a coward or I’d trouble you right about now.”   The heat held between them made it hard for Yuki to swallow. He stood completely still, hair rising on end and heart pounding in his chest.   “See?” Nico stepped back and turned around, waving a goodbye. “I’m heading to bed. You better hydrate yourself before you wake up with a killer hangover.” And he shuffled into his room.   Yuki’s hand went a bit slack but he was now sobered up enough that he was able to catch the cup before it fell. Sure, there was water all over the floor, but that was better than broken glass. And it gave him something to focus his still-hazy thoughts on instead of what just happened with Nico.   What had just happened? What was that, exactly?   Yuki recalled Nico’s hot breath on his ear and the feeling of his stubble grazing his cheek. He shook his head, hand pushing the paper towel across the wet floor with more force. Nico was just a good friend. He’d never thought of him like this before, and he wasn’t planning on starting now—regardless of what the knots in his stomach were telling him.   The next few weeks went by in a confused daze.   As the Tamaki case ramped up, Yuki was working long hours on little sleep and too many cups of coffee. Yet, even with so much going on at work, his thoughts would still drift to Nico. Maybe it was because they were barely seeing each other lately, but every time they did get a chance to sit down for breakfast or dinner, Yuki couldn’t sit still. He was ultra-aware of every little thing Nico did. From the way he took his time savoring his food before he swallowed to his new habit of rubbing his stubble when thinking—Yuki’s mind archived it all.   “Are you guys close to finishing the defense for the case that’s been keeping you so busy?” Nico asked, passing Yuki a just-washed plate to dry.   Yuki’s eyes quickly flickered from Nico’s gaze to the plate he was drying. “Uh, yeah. We’ll be wrapping it up this week so my schedule should return back to normal for a while.”   “That’s good. We haven’t been seeing much of each other lately…if I didn't know better I would have thought you were avoiding me.”   “As if, “ Yuki choked out a scoff and set the plate to the side. Nico passed him a fork and their fingers grazed in the exchange, sending a shiver up Yuki’s arm. He dropped the fork—feeling utterly like a deer stuck in headlights. “Uh.”   Nico chuckled and bent down to pick up the fork, placing it back in Yuki’s hand. “No need to be so jumpy. I haven’t even confessed yet,” he said tenderly.   “Confessed…yet?” Yuki repeated, eyes increasingly getting wider as the words registered in his brain. “Wait, what?”   Nico turned off the faucet, lips curled up into a smirk. “I said I haven’t even confessed yet. Did the faucet make it hard to hear me?”   “I heard you loud and clear. I just don’t get what you’d need to confess,” Yuki stammered.   Nico dried his hands with the towel hanging a few inches below their sink and turned his body completely toward Yuki. “I know you know what I mean. There’s no point in trying to act stupid when we both know you’re a genius.”   “Yeah, I am, but that’s not the point!” Yuki slapped the fork onto the counter. “Since when? Why?”   Nico shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. “If I think about it…it started really slowly, probably some time during your 4th year at Kansei.”   “You’re lying.”   “There’s no way I’d lie about something like this,” Nico grumbled. “Part of the reason I asked to live with you was because I was becoming aware of these feelings.   Yuki folded his arms across his chest and looked down and to the side, voice growing quiet. “But it’s pointless.”   Nico’s eyebrows furrowed and he took a step forward. “You may not think much of my feelings, but to me they aren’t pointless,” he growled.   “That's—” Yuki hesitantly looked up, “That’s not what I meant. It’s just I don’t do feelings or relationships. You know that.”   “Yeah, you’ve been saying that since we first met but here we are.” Nico sighed, “You’re just scared. You don’t want to have a deep relationship because you’re scared of getting hurt. Yet, you call me the coward?”   “I don't want to ruin this,” Yuki argued, eyes now narrow and steady on Nico. “We have a very good friendship, one of the best I’ve ever had. I don’t see why that has to change.”   “We can have both. You just need to have some faith, Yuki…”   “Why? What’s so good about falling in love, anyway?!” Yuki barked, hands balling up into fists by his side.   Nico laughed through his nose, not teasingly or out of real humor, but instead with some traces of defeat. He leaned back against the counter and stared straight forward at their fridge on the other side of the kitchen. “You asked me the same thing about running once. You’re asking questions whose answers you already know.”   “That it makes you feel ‘clean’? I kind of understood that with running, but what—“   “That it makes me forget all my burdens.” Nico turned to Yuki with an expression full of sincerity—eyebrows knitted, eyes glossy, and lips slightly downturned. “That you make me forget absolutely everything until my thoughts are only of you, that pretty face, and the sound of your voice leaking through your room walls when someone’s making you feel good.”   Yuki’s mouth opened and closed like a fish until he found his voice. “Forget that last part, idiot!”   Nico’s lips broke into a wicked grin. “Never.”

________________ 

Nico was persistent in his flirtation: compliments whispered in the morning, sweet nothings said with a smug smile the middle of breakfast, and a burning stare during dinner. The last time Yuki had seen him this determined to succeed was when they were training for Hakone. No matter how much Yuki complained and defiantly ignored attempt after attempt, Nico refused to back down.

  It was embarrassing. And it made it hard for Yuki to breathe.   So, to get some clarity, Yuki did exactly what he scoffed at Nico that he wouldn’t do—he ran away. It was only for one night! He’d stay at his mother’s house on Friday and go back home sometime Saturday. It had been a while since he saw his mom and adorable little sister, so it’s not like he was visiting just to get some space from Nico.

After dinner, Yuki sat at the end of their living room couch with his little sitter on his lap. Despite having missed her first few years, she quickly grew attached to him and happily latched on whenever he visited. She was precious and sweet. It made him feel guilty for being such a bad brother up till now, but he vowed to make it up by spoiling her for the rest of his days. “You look like something’s on your mind,” his mother said as she sat down next to him with a cup of tea. Yuki sighed and wrapped his arms around his sister’s torso, hugging her closer as if she were a teddy bear. She giggled and continued to play with the doll in her hands. “I need your advice on something.” His mother fought back a smile and scooted closer to him. “Is it love troubles? I’m all ears.” “If, hypothetically, a person I’ve always thought as a friend wanted to have a romantic relationship with me and is chasing me, how do I make them stop?” His mother hummed in understanding, taking a sip of her tea before answering. “And you’re sure you can’t return their feelings?” “Uh, I mean…let’s say no.” “Then in that case, it’s pretty harsh but if it really bothers you, cut off all connection to that person.” “Wait.” Yuki turned his head to face his mother. “But they’re a friend. I still want to be friends with them.” “You can’t have it both ways, Yukihiko,” she said with a sigh. “It’d be stringing them along. If their affection really bothers you that much, then you have to properly reject them and put some space between you two.” “Oh.” He rested his chin on top of his sister’s head solemnly. His mom lightly laughed. “No need to sound so sad. If what I just said sounds harsh to you and makes you feel lonely, then maybe you don't dislike their attention as much as you’re acting like you do.” She reached over and petted his head. “You’ve always been bad at being honest with yourself and others.” He didn’t reply. After all, she was right. Yuki dragged his feet when it was time to leave his mother’s house Saturday evening. He didn’t want to see Nico…yet he did. But as he was pacing back and forth near the door of his mother’s apartment contemplating what to do next, his mother made the choice for him. She gathered his things, shoved them in his hands, and gently pushed him outside with words of encouragement. Yuki sulkily waved her and his sister goodbye and made his way home. To Nico: I’m on my way back From Nico: Good. I’m almost finished making dinner but I made too much To Nico: Too used to making for two people? From Nico: Yeah. So you have to promise to eat the extra amount I make forever. Yuki re-read that text a few times, but decided not to answer, locking his phone and setting it on his lap. Yet after two minutes of bouncing his leg and failing to distract his mind from thinking about it, he unlocked his phone and replied. To Nico: Lol, are you proposing to me? Your cooking is not good enough to do that yet From Nico: Don't worry. I’ll get better ^^ Yuki groaned, receiving weird stares from the train passengers around him, and rested his head against the subway car wall behind him. What was he doing flirting with Nico? He was supposed to be rejecting and putting space between them like his mother had said. Why was it so hard for him to just do that? When he entered their apartment Nico greeted him with a cheery “welcome back” and the table set with one of Yuki’s favorite dinners: hamburger steak. They ate peacefully, and aside from the random times their eyes met and the tension between them spiked, dinner generally went on without a hitch. After they finished eating and washed the dishes, they settled back down at their low table with a few cold beers and turned on the TV to a game show program they both enjoyed. Yuki cracked open the can and sipped on his beer, sometimes sneakily stealing a glance at Nico. If felt like they were tiptoeing around the elephant in the room. Yuki couldn’t sit still. “Did you go to your mom’s house yesterday because you’re running away from me?” Nico cut to the chase. Yuki choked on a bit of his beer, coughing. “As if. I just wanted to see how my cute little sister was doing.” “Okay.” Nico knocked back what was left of his can. “I mean if you were, I wouldn’t blame you. I’ve been a bit much lately.” “Oh, it’s good you’re self aware,” Yuki snickered, setting down his can on the table. He slowly turned it in his hand. “…I asked my mom for advice on our situation.” Nico laughed through his nose and popped open a new can. “I didn’t know it was worrying you that much. What did she say?” Yuki put the can up to his lips and mumbled, “She said if it really bothered me so much I should properly reject you and put some space between us.” “And will you?” Nico questioned, leaning a bit closer from across the table. Yuki gulped down the rest of his can and shook his head, eyes flickering over to Nico’s unrelenting gaze. “No…I don’t want to.” “Then, let’s have a contest,” Nico replied, mouth rounding up at the corners. He crawled over to Yuki’s side of the table and plopped down right in front of him. “If you can sit there without flinching while I kiss you, then you win. I’ll stop chasing you and this relationship will go back to being whatever you want it to be. But if you do flinch, you have to give me a chance.” “O-Okay, it’s not like a little kiss will make me flinch,” Yuki exclaimed with a puffed chest. He set his empty can down and closed his eyes. “Bring it on!” Nico chuckled briefly and then grew very quiet. Yuki could feel his breath ghosting on his lips and a big warm hand smoothing over his cheek. His heart pounded loudly in his ears in anticipating and he wanted to take a deep breath to let out all the tension building up in his chest, but he sat hesitantly still. Nico’s lips were surprisingly soft for a guy who seemed to never care to use lip balm, and they moved slowly against Yuki’s. It felt…right. Nico’s tongue teased Yuki’s lips and Yuki parted them, meeting Nico’s hot tongue with his own. Nico slid his hand to Yuki’s right ear, softly running his fingers from the top to the bottom and caressing the pieced, earring-less lobe between his fingers. Yuki melted into the touch, a shudder running down his spine and he pushed Nico away, face flushed with realization. “You said kiss, touching is not fair,” he hissed. Nico arched his eyebrow and maintained his close distance to Yuki. “I never said I wasn’t going to touch you…and you complain, but you don't actually dislike it.” “Shut up,” Yuki muttered, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. “It’s a shame you rarely put on your earring anymore. Your ear looks lonely.” Yuki quickly covered his right ear, eyebrows furrowed. “Stop looking at me like that.” “Like what?” Nico teased, feigning innocence. “…like you want to eat me.” “If I ask nicely, would you let me?” Nico pulled Yuki’s hand away from his mouth and intertwined their fingers. “After all, I won our bet.” “That hardly counts,” Yuki sneered, pushing his glasses back up with his free hand. He bit his bottom lip as if wanting to stop himself from speaking but not being able to help it. “I’ll give you this chance. If we have good chemistry, then we’ll talk about what comes after.” “Well, I better impress you then,” Nico said cheerfully as he got up and pulled Yuki up along with him. They walked hand in hand to Nico’s room. If it weren’t for Nico’s strong grip on his hand, Yuki would have contemplated running away. But he couldn’t afford spending even a second on that thought because once the room door shut behind them and Nico’s dark, desire-filled eyes absorbed him in their gaze, he was sure he wanted this. Maybe he’d had wanted this for a lot longer than he could admit. Nico took Yuki’s mouth with a rekindled fervor, rough hands cupping his chin and digging fingers into hips as he walked him backward to his bed. They kissed with as much curiosity as there was desperation—fingers tugging at pants and shirts and bated pauses to share hazy gazes. They lowered themselves onto the bed as they flung off their underwear, leaving themselves completely naked in the dim glow of the moonlight trickling in from Nico’s window. Yuki lay on his back, elbows propping him up to fully take in the sight that was the naked Nico towering over him. His tan, muscular body he never took any pride in despite how easily it carried Yuki and how good he looked without clothes. His handsome face, strong jawline, and those eyes, usually so calm and laidback, that were now sharp with wanting and solely focused on Yuki. It all made Yuki tremble with excitement. “Are you just going to kneel there and stare at me for the next hour?” Nico laughed through his nose and slotted himself between Yuki’s legs, bending down to kiss Yuki’s nape and whisper against his jawline. “I just wanted to take in the view. You look really good.” “You look pretty hot yourself,” Yuki replied, hands now measuredly running down Nico’s stomach with a destination in mind. Nico grabbed Yuki’s hand and pinned it above his head, “No you don’t. Knowing you, I bet you’re used to getting your way, aren’t you?” “More or less,” Yuki replied with a smug grin. “Well, not today,” Nico murmured as he sucked hard on the skin right below Yuki’s ear, rough hands smoothing down across Yuki’s chest. He gently pushed him down so he was off his elbows and fully lying on the bed. “I’m going to spoil you so painstakingly slowly you’re going to begging me by the end.” “Oh, as if I’d beg so easily,” Yuki retorted. Though he tried to sound confident, his breath was already a bit labored and he trembled eagerly against Nico’s touch. He wasn’t making a great case for himself. And, unfortunately for Yuki, Nico wasn’t joking when he said slowly, very hard stress on the painstakingly. Though his hands ventured lower, flicking and petting as they traveled, his lips were on a mission to touch every inch of Yuki’s body. They trailed kisses across his shoulder, nipping and sucking his collarbones, and moving down his chest. He gave tender care to Yuki’s nipples, taking each bud into his mouth and rolling them between his fingers repeatedly. He was so agonizingly kind and loving in his touching. It made Yuki ache both in heart and body. Nico trailed kisses and little bites down Yuki’s stomach and to the dip of his inner thigh. He stayed there for a moment, tongue tracing the curve of it, and sucking bright red spots into the tender skin. Nico would kiss closer to where Yuki wanted his attention, only to switch to his other thigh. Yuki’s body quivered from the teasing, legs spreading but at the same time wanting to wrap him closer. “Fucking sadist,” Yuki growled, his voice giving out into a gasp when Nico bit into his inner thigh with particular vigor. “Just a bit. I’m surprised at how much I enjoy seeing you writhing because of me.” Nico came up to give Yuki a chaste kiss on the lips and to reach over into the first drawer of his nightstand, pulling out a small bottle of lube. “Now for even more fun.” Delivering on his promise, Nico played with Yuki until he couldn’t control his trembling. Every inch of his skin had felt Nico’s searing lips and hands, and had been played with mercilessly. Speckled with red hickies from head to toe, head knocked back against the pillow with small groans and whimpers leaking out of his mouth, Yuki rocked against the long fingers that worked into him. They felt so good, filling him up and rubbing the places he loved, but he desperately wanted more. “Nico, fuck,” he moaned, teeth sinking into his bottom lip to preserve some of his pride. He had already lost one time tonight; he didn’t want to lose a second. “All you have to do is say please,” Nico encouraged, his breathing low and heavy. Yuki could tell that he was also on the edge. Yuki opened his eyes, now clouded over with bliss, and met Nico’s gaze as best he could through his fogged up glasses. “Nico, I want to come,” he managed, making it sound like a command through sheer will power. Nico hummed and pulled his fingers out. He grabbed Yuki’s hips and scooted him closer, barely pressing even an inch into him. “That’s not begging.” “Ah,” Yuki gasped, legs wrapping around Nico to bring him in closer. He grabbed onto Nico’s bicep and pulled him down, hands moving to dig fingers into his back. “I swear I’ll murder you in your sleep…Akihiro,” he panted against Nico’s ear. “Yeah,” Nico grunted, hips pushing deep into Yuki in one motion. “That’s definitely worth dying over.” Their pace was hard and quick once Nico started. Yet even while losing themselves completely to the pleasure, Nico still made sure to kiss Yuki’s temple and whisper words he surely knew Yuki would not dare repeat. Somewhere in the daze, Yuki heard him, and like his words had so many times before, they moved something in him. And he hid his burning face further into the crook of Nico’s neck and buried his hand into Nico’s hair until and long after they had climaxed.

The next morning when Yuki’s eyes groggily peeled open, he was still in Nico’s bed. At one point Nico had cleaned them off and taken off his glasses—not that Yuki could remember anything that happened after he’d come down from the sex high.   “Good morning,” Nico whispered and carefully placed Yuki’s glasses on him. He was propped up on an elbow, laying on his side and looking down at Yuki with the eyes of a completely satisfied man.   “You’re dangerous,” Yuki grumbled as he sat up, voice completely ragged. “You totally mess up my rhythm and do whatever you want with me, but don’t even feel a shred of guilt the next day.”   “But we did have chemistry,” Nico pointed out, lips curled up in that irritatingly wicked smile of his. “How was I?”   Yuki shot him a glare and shuffled to the edge of the bed, his back to Nico. “You were great.”   “Does that mean that you’re willing to try going out with me?” Nico’s voice was devoid of all humor—soft, and sincere.   “...” Yuki got up to grab his black briefs from the corner of the room and pulled them on. He turned his body toward Nico, eyes hesitantly coming up to meet his. “I’m not sure…yet. But I’ve been giving it some serious thought.”   “I’ll wait, then. Until you’re sure, “ Nico said cheerfully.   “You’ll wait? But it could take months.”   “It’ll happen.” Nico stated confidently. “If there is one thing Haiji’s persistence with Hakone taught me about you is that no matter how stubborn you are, if I am even more stubborn, you’ll come around.”   Yuki dramatically opened his mouth in shock and picked up the pillow closest to him, throwing it at Nico with all his strength. He then marched out of the out of the room yelling, “You owe me a luxurious breakfast. And a massage for my aching back.”   Nico slipped out of bed and softly chuckled to himself as he followed behind him.