#lots of nesting behavior today!

[home-made-dynamite]

birding in forest park, St. Louis, MO 4/4/2024

[gojos-nightmare-box]

Can and will kms

[bethanythebogwitch]

It’s Wet Beast Wednesday and today’s topic is Anarrhicthys ocellaus, the wolf eel. Despite the name and long-skinny body, they aren’t eels (I’ll get around to true eels eventually, I promise), they’re actually one of the wolf fish, a family of 5 species, the rest of which look less eely. These fish are most famous on the internet for being ugly, which is a bit rude. Sure, they may look a bit like Popeye the Sailor Man, but that’s no reason to be insulting. I think they’re kind of cute, in a pug sort of way.

(Image: a wolf eel)

Wolf eels live in cold pacific waters in the Sea of Japan up into the Sea of Okhotsk, across the Aleutian islands, and down to southern California. Their long, slender bodies can grow up to 2.4 meters (about 8 feet) long ang weigh up to 18.4 kg (41 pounds), making them both longer and heavier than some children. Like moray eels, they prefer living in caves and crevices, often only sticking their heads out to look for food. Many will find a suitable cave as a juvenile and never leave unless forced out by a larger wolf eel or another cave-dweller like the giant pacific octopus. Wolf eels have a layer of mucus covering their bodies that helps protect from disease. Their scales are small and imbedded in their skin, giving their skin a leathery appearance. Each individual has a unique pattern of spots on their head, which can be used to identify them.

(Image: a wolf eel)

Wolf eels have large and powerful jaws and well as notable teeth. They are heterodonts, meaning they have teeth of different shapes that serve different functions. This is actually somewhat uncommon amongst animals. Amongst extant vertebrates, only mammals, some fish, and snakes have this feature. Wolf eels have molars and canines. In fact, the prominent canines of the wolf fish family is the origin of their name. Wolf eels use their hard molars and powerful jaws to crush and eat hard food. Their preferred diet includes sea urchins, sand dollars, crustaceans, and bivalves. They rarely eat soft food and aquarium specimens that have been fed soft food extensively can show poor dental health.

(image: a wolf eel monching on eating an urchin)

If you need more reasons to not insult them, wolf eels are romantics and model parents. They are monogamous and mated pairs will live and mate together for life. These pairs have a unique form of mating behavior. The male will nuzzle the female with his head and coil around her while she lays her eggs (up to 10,000 at a time), which he will then fertilize. Afterwards, the female will coil around the eggs to shape them into a ball She will occasionally rotate and massage the egg ball to make sure all the eggs are getting exposed to oxygenated water. When both are in the cave, the female will coil around the eggs to protect them while the male coils around her for more protection. Both parents share egg protecting duties, with only one leaving to go eat at a time. Once the eggs hatch, the larvae will leave the nest and move to the open ocean to grow. Juveniles live in the open ocean and have a different diet than adults. They are more active predators who use their canines to attack and eat small fish and fish larvae. After a few years, they will make their way back to shallower waters to take up their adult lifestyles. They become sexually mature at around 7 years old, though some will par up with their future mate as early as age 4. In addition, juveniles are bright orange with purple spots. They become darker as they age, eventually becoming fully grey.

(image: a pair of wolf eels protecting their eggs, the yellowish ball on the middle)

(image: a juvenila wolf eel)

Wolf eels are rather curious and even playful animals. In places with lots of human activity, they can become used to divers. In fact, they can even become friendly with divers, sometimes coming out to play with them and being happy to receive chin scratches. In many places, divers can hand-feed the wolf eels. This is controversial as it can disincentivize natural hunting behavior and ignorant divers may feed the eels the food that is bad for them. Wolf eels are very rarely aggressive, but they can deliver very painful bites if provoked.

(image: a wolf eel and a diver)

Wolf eels are classified as “least concern” by the IUCN, meaning they are in no danger of extinction. Still, threats to them include bycatch and pollution. They are rarely targeted for fishing today, but in the past, they were targeted by a few Native American tribes. In these, they were considered to be sacred “doctorfish” and were only eaten by healers, in the belief it would enhance their healing abilities.

UPDATE: after doing some digging regarding the usage of the fish by Native American tribes I found that everyone who makes this claim seems to reference the book "Probably More Than You Want to Know About the Fishes of the Pacific Coast" by Milton S. Love, which itself cites a book from either 1868 or 1870 titled "The Indians of Cape Flattery, at the entrance to the Strait of Fuca, Washington Territory" by James Swan. The book specifically discusses the Makah people. I'm a bit skeptical about the source so take those claims with a grain of salt.

(image: a wolf eel sticking out of a rock)

[remember-to-be-gentle]

Inspired by this tumblr post by @hawnks 

Subject: JJK, Satoru Gojo

Title: Hate Me Tomorrow (Omega!Gojo x GN Alpha!Reader)

Trigger Warning: Dub con, omega verse, scenting, size difference, biting/marking, obsessive/toxic behavior, self-hatred, knotting, knot riding, begging, heat/mating cycles, grinding 

The sweet, musky scent of Gojo's cologne and sweat enveloped you. Even the giant stuffed beta fish you were snuggling had no scent but his. His pillow fort was surprisingly spacious, granted, Gojo was nearly twice your size so there was a lot of him to fit. But being in here with him was nearly suffocating, and not just because of the light whiffs of omega scent rolling off of him or because he'd practically ripped off your jacket to snuggle into. 

He'd called you suddenly, saying that he needed to spend time with someone. It made sense. Geto just died and there were only so many people who were willing to pick up the phone for Gojo, and even fewer he'd actually call. Especially when it was a secret he was an omega, pretending to be an alpha and you were an alpha pretending to be a beta. 

The two of you were decent friends, hanging out after teaching at Jujutsu Tech for a drink or a quick round of gossip. He was one of the few people who knew you were an alpha and he an omega, an unusual kinship formed but it was never anything more. More importantly, you knew about his relationship with Geto. You couldn't say no. 

Which was why your thigh was snug against his, smartphone balanced on your knee, his favorite plushie shoved into your arms. His head on your shoulder breathes fast but not uneven. It seemed like he was trying not to cry. Poor guy. The winter fashion review didn't seem to be helping him calm down at all. Nor any work gossip. You wanted to stay and help, but it was getting late. If he really wanted to, he could just pin you down, sometimes that thought scared you.

Gojo curled onto his side, struggling closer to you, your jacket wrapped in his hands like a security blanket. 

It felt wrong to leave, but you needed to take care of yourself, too. "Hey, bud, I need to get going. Are you going to be alright by yourself?" 

Gojo buried his face in your neck, silent. He leaned his weight into you, just enough to make it clear he didn't want to be alone. 

Fuck. "I'm sorry. I'll come first thing tomorrow. We'll call out from work and go to the city or--" 

His teeth scraped your neck. Possessive, dominant. Alpha behavior. Before you knew what was happening, he was ripping off your scent suppressor, inhaling like he hadn't been breathing for hours. Alpha pheromones leaked from your skin, invading your nose. "Gojo?" 

Your stomach turned as your instincts awakened, the need to comfort an omega struggling with your own needs for autonomy. Your fingers dug into the beta fish plushie, filled with his scent. 

He reached for his own scent blocker and you suddenly realized what was going on. With his neck practically right under your nose, his omega scent was free. And not just that, he was going into heat. The pillow fort was a nest and this was a trap. Gojo was primed to breed and he was going to use you to fuck away his pain. "This isn't healthy, Gojo, listen to me!" 

But his patch was already off and the omega scent of him in your lungs, filling you, lighting every nerve on fire. Your cock swelled under your clothes, reacting to his breedable scent with vigor. 

Gently, Gojo took the plush and pushed you onto your back, yanking off his pants as his pale face filled with color. His bandages were already slipping, the iridescent shine of his six eyes laser-focused on the swelling at your crotch. He crawled on top of you, already tugging off his shirt. "Just for today, please." He panted, his thin but muscular chest heaving as if just sitting here breathing was a near-impossible task. 

His weight lowered onto your cock and you gasped, feeling his wetness through your clothes. His heat was so pleasant, feverish but warm, empty, and yearning. Blood pulsed lower and you gulped. 

Slowly, Gojo rocked back and forth, moaning loudly each time your shaft met his clit. His back arched, nipples swollen and pink, and standing at attention. "Please," he begged. "Just me just for tonight. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please, ah, Y/N. Please, I wanna cum. Let me have it inside me." 

It was getting harder and harder to think straight. He felt so good, the need to fill him up, let him fuck himself stupid on your cock growing. It would be better if you let him, a voice whispered. Another said, it's what you were made for. Just let him. 

"Gojo," you gasped. You reached for him, tried to make him stop so you could think, but his fingers intertwined with yours and he was moving faster now, his breathy moans coming faster. His skin was so soft and warm, filling you with his heat until you thought you might burst. Blood pulsed in your cock, his pussy was sucking at you through your clothing. He wanted you so badly. You wanted... What did you want to do again? You had to leave but why? 

"Y/N, I'm cumming." His hips rocked faster, tummy rolling with downy white hair covered in sparkling slick. "I'm cumming on your alpha cock." He let go of your hands to lay across your stomach, his head buried in your neck to take in your scent, his own making your head spin as pleasure threatened to burst out of your cock. His teeth met your skin, nibbling and biting gently then hard enough to bruise until he let out a long, throaty groan as he came. 

Instantly, your clothes were soaked, his hot slick smothered on your member. If you weren't fully erect before, you were now. 

Still panting, Gojo lifted himself up just enough to tug your cock free from your clothing. He didn't wait, spreading his pussy with his fingers as he sank down on your tip. Slick gushed down your shaft as he cried out, swallowing your swollen head into his heat. You bit back a groan, fingers digging into the blankets making up the fort. 

"You feel so big," Gojo moaned. "So good. I've only done this with Geto, so I'm going to have to start slow." He sank a little further, impossibly tight and hot and wet. "Feels so good," he huffed, rolling his hips and finally, sinking all the way down your shaft.

Your knot throbbed, seeming to sense that an omega was speared on your length. 

Gojo humped himself on your cock, needy moans slipping from his mouth each time his hips met yours. "Feels so good, Y/N. I've only felt Geto like this before." 

Before you could respond he pulled back to his full height, six eyes glowing in the warm darkness of the pillow fort. He spread his lower lips as he lifted himself up, clear slick drooling from his hole. His pretty, pink, clit a shining pearl at the apex of his thighs. "You did this to me. Look how wet you made me." Slowly, Gojo slid back down, pushing the head of your cock against his cervix. Again, he kept himself exposed and rose up, only to slurp your length right back down to the knot, aiming this time higher, into something spongy and mouth-wateringly soft.

"G-Gojo, I know you miss him but you can't--" 

He raised himself up and dropped down, knocking a groan from you both. "I think about him a lot," Gojo panted. "About how empty he left me. In my soul. In my body. So please, let me fix one of those. Just for now. It's okay if you hate me, but I need you now more than I've needed anyone." 

Gojo whined, flushed and excited. "Right there." He slammed back down on you with a stomach-churning squelch right into that soft sweet spot. "So good." He was riding you now, using you like a dildo to get himself off, his delicate fingers rolling his clit in circles. You couldn't take your eyes off him. "I want you to cum inside me, okay? Fill me up with your seed. Help me feel less empty." 

Pleasure gathered deep inside you, begging to come out as your knot swelled. Shit. You shouldn't. He was your coworker, your friend. But omegas needed alpha seed, he needed reprieve from his heat and you were the only one he could call--because the person he really wanted was dead. 

That thought shattered your high, grounding you back in the moment. "Gojo, I know you're still mourning Geto, but this isn't healthy for you." 

Gojo settled on your stomach, chest heaving. His hands snuck under your shirt, impossibly soft and warm in your skin. Your cock twitched inside him, wanting him to squeeze and milk you dry but that wasn't what a good friend would let him do. 

"I killed him, you know." His hands curled into fists by your hips. "He left me after taking my virginity and when he came back, I killed him on Christmas Eve because he didn't give me another choice. I'm awful, aren't I? Shoko hates me. She won't say it but I know she does. I hate me, too." The blue of his eyes shone as tears gathered, threatening to fall down his red flushed cheeks. 

"Shoko doesn't hate you." You said soothingly. You sat up, so much smaller than him, and ran your hands through his hair. "It was an impossible situation, we all think you did the right thing. We--" 

He didn't let you finish your thought. Gojo grabbed you by your shirt and slammed his mouth onto yours, his tongue filling you as if he could make you swallow every hateful thing he'd ever thought about himself. "If you don't hate me," he breathed against your lips, his spit wet and warm as it dribbled down your chin, "then cum inside me." He rolled his hips, reigniting the electric pleasure in your core. "Please. You can hate me tomorrow, but right now, I can't let you go." 

The pulsing softness of his pussy contracted, squeezing you so tightly you thought you might burst. You gasped for breath when Gojo released you and then did it again. You wanted to move. You wanted to stop. You wanted... 

Gojo pulled down the front of your shirt, rolling his hips roughly, chasing his end against your cock. He bit your chest, hard enough to bruise, marking you like an alpha. And that was enough to come undone. 

You exploded inside of him, eyes rolling back as your core emptied against his sweet spot. Your hips rolled up into his and you shivered as you felt your knot pop into his pussy, slick sliding down your thighs and onto the blankets. 

You struggled to breathe as Gojo laid himself on top of you, breathing fast. He rocked his hips against your knot, already trying to drag another orgasm out of himself. His arms slid under your back, pulling your chest to his. "You're all I have now, Y/N," he whispered, "so please, don't leave.”

[megistusdiary]

I've seen a lot about Tighnari and nesting behaviors and that whole fandom took one glace at Tighnari and was like "he has a breeding kink" and it's so funny and true I mean LOOK AT HIM cough anyway

But forgetting all that for some wholesomeness for min

Just imagine snuggling with him in his little nest made for you and him it's so soft and warm so peaceful

Oh and his sleepy voice would be so freaking cute like sksbkssj

He probably gets clingy too and doesn't want you to leave once your in his arms

That's been my Tighnari brainrot for today

oh one look at that man told me he has a breeding and nesting kink. i have all the info i need to know.

also as i have said before, tighnari seems to be slightly closed off to a lot of people. but, he said it's ok for people he is close to if they want to touch his ears. so, i would like to think that means he is close to few people, but he would let them touch his ears/cuddle him, you know?

he has big spoon energy. i think of it as his way to hold/protect you even when you're asleep.

would rest his tail around you too!

and he would probably enjoy collecting blankets, carefully assessing which ones to use, placing pillows, etc to build you the perfect nest.

and ofc he is excited when you tell him you love it! you must sleep in the nest with him every night now.

he definitely feels warm to the touch, like your own personal heating pad. and in the morning, you will feel him press little kisses on your face.

he gets up early, so there will be no real sleeping in unless it is perhaps that time of the year and he wants to stay in the nest 🤞

his voice in the morning is slightly deeper/raspy, and he likes to curl his tail around you.

on the off chance you do wake up before him, you will not be getting up. the second you move, his grip becomes iron. so, goodluck ✨️

this one kinda turned fluffy, so we need a little spice.

lazy morning sex in the nest on days where you don't need to go to work/school or whatever.

if you are too sleepy to move, that's ok, he's more than happy to do the work.

he gives great head, and i will stand by that. plus i imagine he wants to fuck you while you're spooning, and i think that's beautiful.

does he bite? yes, he does. though it's just little nibbles in the morning. enough to see slight teeth indents but nothing too serious!

he purrs when you guys have really sweet and passionate sex, particularly in the morning in the nest. you smell like him, you feel warm and so, so good. he can't help it!

if he has you pressed to his chest, you can feel the rumbles of the purr more than you can hear them.

afterwards, i see him as someone who wants to clean up really quickly. but if he knots in you, then you're kinda stuck.

on those occasions, you just lay there together and he holds you tightly to him, nuzzling into your neck ♡

[would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend]

Is purugly a good pet?

Puruglies would indeed make good pets… for the right kind of owner. You see, I had to give this one a lower score than the A-equivalent “Just a Cat” score that many feline-like pokémon recieve for a few reasons, one of which being their size.

Whereas this species’ pre-evolution glameow is a very manageable housecat-like size, puruglies weigh in at a much sturdier 96 pounds! That is significantly heavier than any breeds of real-world cats, which brings with it a whole different suite of issues. For one, a nearly 100 pound pokémon would need a lot more food than smaller animals or pokémon, which may make caring for a purugly much more expensive than many owners would expect. That extra size allows puruglies to throw their weight around more successfully. While this species is by no means an alpha predator, they’re fairly likely to get violent with you if you don’t give them what they want.

Puruglies, to put it simply, just aren’t very nice. Described in the pokédex as “brazen brutes” (Diamond), puruglies like to take what they want and to be seen as intimidating and powerful (or “large and in charge”, you might say) by those around them. In the wild, puruglies are known to take over other pokémons’ nests through brute force, making themselves seem more intimidating with its large size and ceaseless, angry glare (Pearl, Platinum). Interestingly, puruglies have been observed making themselves seem larger to smaller pokémon by cinching their waist using their tails (Pearl)! Due to their selfish, dominating personalities, puruglies have been called “difficult to tame” since over a century ago (Legends: Arceus). That being said, we have a far better understanding of pokémon behavior and training today. It’s completely possible that, so long as you provide them with the comfort they want and sufficient space, a purugly would be a perfectly manageable pet. Just don’t be surprised when they tend to hog the couch!

As normal-type pokémon, puruglies thankfully don’t pose too large a treat to humans. In combat, they mostly use physical moves that make use of their claws and weight to bash enemies into submission. Despite their large size for a cat-like pokémon, puruglies’ claws aren’t too much to be concerned about. That, combined with their having such a small bite, I’d guess that these pokémon are less dangerous than a large real-world dog. The only move I’d really bring up as a concern is Hypnosis, which allows them to use their intimidating stare to put you to sleep. This could be pretty dangerous in certain circumstance, and incredibly inconvenient in many.

All this being said, puruglies are certainly manageable if you know what you’re getting into. If you’re looking for a more sweet and snuggly cat-like pokémon, however, I might look elsewhere. As a final note (which I didn’t know quite where to put in the post), puruglies’ fur is very pretty. Researchers in the past claimed that their fur was even more appealing than velveteen (Legends: Arceus).

[bonefall]

How would you so Vindictive or spiteful in Clanmew?

Let's talk a little bit about the Clan Culture concepts of evil.

(Surprise Clanmew ask because today is Halloween! BOO!)

"Sin" translates directly into Clanmew. An action that incurs displeasure with StarClan is Nyaw. Not all sins are codebreaking, but breaking ANY part of the warrior code is a sin. There are cats who have been damned by StarClan for sinful behavior, without breaking a single part of the code.

There are 9 Great Sins (Arrarra Nyul Nyawchk) of Clan Culture, some more severe than others. It's also really important to note that there is a long history of Clan xenophobia; many of these sins did not equally protect outsiders, but it did unfairly bind them when interacting with Clan cats.

Arrarra Nyul = "Amount Amount Minus" = Nine... ish.

Arrarra Nyok Ul = "Amount Amount Minus Wholeness" = EXACTLY 9. Used extremely rarely; ESPECIALLY not by leaders in reference to their lives, which they are commanded to keep vague about in case StarClan did not give them a full set.

Nyawchk = Nyaw + -ochk suffix = Sin-est. The Most Sinnest. Great Sin.

The sins are,

Selfishness = Mwyrgna This is the evil of beasts; complete and utter self-concern. It's fear that causes a animal mother to eat her own young, it's the drive that causes a cuckoo chick to throw its siblings out of a nest, or the carelessness of a sheep that grazes ling into sward. It's cannibalism, fratricide, over-exploitation of a natural resource. It's a lack of care for anyone else but yourself.

Sadism = Yaonyyw This is the evil of humans; pleasure at one's ability to cause destruction. It's easy to confuse with pride, and yet, something Clan cats often overassign. It's what they believe humans feel when they take the claws off their kittypets, or what pleasure a twisted cat gets from eating prey that's still alive to be in pain. It's the closest thing to the English word for "evil."

Disproportionate Retribution = Sswrswa This is the evil of collateral damage. It's not quite "revenge," which is a neutral word in Clanmew. It comes from a corruption of Shredtail, who killed every piglet he could find with a speck of white and eventually sacrificed a clanmate to use as bait to lure his enemy, Deadfrost. It's involving innocent people in a quest for justice, or doling out more payback than what would constitute justice. It's "going overboard."

Idleness = Nyaarn This is the evil of hesitation. What that means is, if a Clan cat sees something bad about to happen, they believe it is a sin to do nothing about it. Even before the addition of Darkstar's Commandment, if a kitten was in danger, it was evil to simply watch them suffer. It applied equally to a warrior of another Clan who was obviously overwhelmed by a wild animal, or leaving a dying animal in pain. The "bystander effect" is seen as a type of sinful Dark Forest influence, which must be broken as if it was a curse. The English idiom, "Idle hands are the devil's plaything," has a parallel in Clanmew; "Kach urrWrrah maobeh mwrrSarrshik." "A demon has sheathed your claws."

Blasphemy = Shaikeoch The evil of insulting the stars. To speak poorly of, or to disrespect StarClan in some way. While not part of the code, this is a particularly egregious sin at times through history and culture. Also gets used as a way to phrase "offense against faith," which is specifically to destroy someone's belief in StarClan's righteousness or existence. (If Mothwing had been able to confide in someone that Hawkfrost had done this to her, the Clan would consider it on the same level as harassment.) This sin in particular is debated a lot in the Fire Era and beyond, as Clan xenophobia was a recurring part of the zeitgeist and cats of different faiths made their marks on history.

Waste = Bleel The evil of, well... waste. It's about improperly using land or resources like an invasive species, killing too much and allowing the lives of prey to be taken in vain, or even preventing the proper use of a material. (for example, RiverClan and ThunderClan argue that the other is wasting Sunningrocks, because RC doesn't use it to hunt, and TC doesn't use it to bask)

Theft = Geesharro The evil of ill-gotten gains. Yes, this applies to taking physical property from an individual, but there is an important social quirk at play. Post-Ripple Era, a Clan's Star owns all the territory of their Clan. Before then, the Elders (as soon-to-be StarClan warriors) owned it. In either case, a warrior does not technically own what exists on their Clan's territory. To DISHONORABLY take from one territory to give to another Clan, or to not righteously win your spoils, is a sin.

Disrespect = Nagarrl The evil of denying what is owed. When you make a vow, you owe your words honor. The warriors of other Clans still uphold the code, and thus deserve respect. Elders have a right to be protected after their long lives of service. The world deserves the truth, so a lie is a sin of denial. This is the opposite of Kurruar, 'honor,' but Nagarrl has more of a connotation of intentional, knowing denial.

Vulgarity = Mlarni The evil of being a jerk, really. In mortal life, it applies simply to conduct. Being rude, not reciprocating favors, doing the bare minimum on your tasks, the more grounded type of "selfishness" as opposed to Mwyrgna. It also applies to forcing your Nyams to "lose face" through association with you and your bad reputation, or threaten Clan cohesion. StarClan has completely used this in the past to damn people based on bad vibes, when they're enraged into being unreasonable. The opposite of Ualhe, 'nobility,' but like Nagarrl above has a connotation of doing it purposefully.

Each Clan regards each evil in a slightly different way. For example, WindClan believes that blasphemy is a higher sin than ThunderClan does, and no one takes the avoidance of waste as seriously as ShadowClan, who has developed ingenious ways to preserve and season practically any kind of meat.

ALL of these sins can be misused and abused as a form of social control, especially against cats that have particularly strong religious or pro-social convictions. As concepts, they are subjective, and evolve through debate and personal interpretation through the years.

With the introduction of the Leader's Rights at the end of the Ripple Era, which made the word of a leader law, a Clan's star suddenly had the authority to enforce morality as they saw fit. Several tyrant leaders used this rule maliciously to punish sins that were not codebreaking. This law was only repealed in the Modern Era.

Combine these with this suffix guide for attributes to describe whatever sinful behavior in whichever severity you need!

[purpleyoonn]

The Line Between Love and War 6

C H A P T E R  6:  

DRESS FITTINGS AND GUMMY WORMS

“It is said that the night sky is made up of tiny wishes that humans were never able to fulfill. That the stars only became bright by the fulfillment of those wishes. In your eyes, the stars that shine never seemed real, your childhood wishes dark and dim as you grow. But now, now you understand the twinkle in their eyes as they look down at you.”

Summary: Your experiences told you that soulmates were something you would never have the pleasure of having; something not given to you because of who you are, despite the soulmark that resides on your inner left wrist. During your solo trip to Los Angeles, you find out that you are more than capable, that your soulmates had been waiting for you for a long time, and would not be letting you go anytime soon.

Genre: soulmate au, bts au, idol bts, polyamory relationship, eventual smut

Paring: Idol!BTS x autistic!mc

Status: Ongoing (randomly updated)

Warnings: mental illness, talk of disability, lots of angst, miscommunication, feelings of depression, feelings of isolation, polyamory bts, stalking, dangerous behavior, eventual smut,

Chapter Warnings: some anxious feelings, bonding, sensory issues with touch,  protective bangtan, protective hobi, insecurities, again not much,

Taglist: @azazel-nyx​​  @yuzon3​​ @hannahdinse8​​ @quirkybtsarmy​​ @mageprincess7​​  @fluffy-canada-pancakes​​ @suckerforv​​ @chaoticthingpizza​​ @drissteele​​ @carolinexkpop​​ @avadakadabra93​​ @lachimolala22019​​  @justaweird0​​ @singukieee​​  @welcometomyworld13​​ @toughbook​​ @kimana122​​ @kpopmultistantrashsstuff​​ @0funsite0​ @joyless-living​ @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered​ @elliott-calls​

Masterlist // Chapter 5 // Chapter 7

————————————————–

Previously on The Line Between Love and War:

It was a puddle day, Jungkook thought, as the group of singers made a large blanket bed on the floor, pushing away the large coffee table and the couches as everyone grabbed a spot close to you once Namjoon placed you in the middle of the large nest.

Everyone falling asleep holding onto each other, smiles gracing their lips as they realized they had they newest mate in their grasp, happy and comfortable with them. Something they thought would never happen.

When you woke up, it was to someone’s fingers tracing your jaw and features. You can’t remember who you fell asleep next to, the sleeping positions having changed multiple times over the night.

You couldn’t help but to seek the warmth in front of you, feeling the rough shirt on your nose had you scrunching it at the feeling, causing a soft laugh to erupt, the person in front of you holding you tighter as their chest rumbled. You knew it was Jimin, his laughter just so sweet that you knew it was him.

You could feel movement behind you, voices moving in and out of the room as you hear footsteps rustling and blankets moving. Discussions of plans and times for the day as you clung to Jimin, wanting more time with him and the warmth you were getting. And when you felt someone move in and attach themselves to your back, you couldn’t help but to shiver at the doubled warmth.

“Good morning, baby.” Jungkook’s morning voice has you wanting to drown in the cadence of his timbre. You tried to respond, but no words could come out, only a groan like sound as you tried to turn so you were facing Jungkook.

“I know that you are so comfy, baby, but it’s time to get up. I’ve just finished laundry but I think Hobi hyung has something picked out for you already.” He kissed your temple before Jimin helped him untangle you from the blankets.

“C’mon baby.” Jimin huffed as you tried to bury yourself deeper into the blanket nest. It took about five minutes for them to get you out, a pout on your face as the two grinned at you.

“Fine…I guess I’ll get up.” Your nose scrunched up at their laughter, deciding to abandon the two troublemakers and go and see what Hobi picked out for you to wear.

Today was the day before the American Music Awards, and this meant last minute fittings and rehearsal. Well, for the boys it did. You were unsure of your place in that moment. You didn’t know if you would be going with them like they had wanted, or if you would be watching from the hotel room, Seungho by your side.

Hobi had picked out a matching sweatshirt/sweatpants combo for you to wear with him. One of the couple outfits he had bought and hidden from you, only bringing out when he deems it appropriate. In reality, all of the boys had done this, hiding the matching outfits in their own suitcases, hoping you don’t go looking for t-shirts to “steal” again.

You only gave a small laugh when he handed you the clothing, already seeing him dressed and ready and knowing how the day was going to go. You figured today was a day where you would be Hobi’s buddy.

In the week you had been with them, you had come to find that there were certain times or even days where you just gravitated to one of the members, seeking them out or them seeking you out. You almost felt like your soul was pushing you to the member, knowing inherently what you needed even if you didn’t.

And it turned out your soul and Hobi’s soul was right, as you sought him out as you began to feel a bit off.

Your morning had been passing slowly, the last dress fitting had been going for a couple of hours now and you were now being pushed onto the small stool, a woman you didn’t recognize from the boys’ team was holding a measuring tape to your legs. You felt really uncomfortable with the sudden change in plan as you didn’t know if you were going to be attending the event tomorrow.

You looked around for Hobi, trying to catch his eye as he was finishing with his suit jacket. A needle being poked into your thigh had you jumping on the stool, almost falling backwards if the woman hadn’t grabbed your hand to help you steady yourself. Immediately, the feeling of touching concrete was felt across your skin, right where the woman held your hand.

“Please stay still.” She spoke to you a little clipped as if she was annoyed with you. You tried your hardest to freeze, but still tried to catch Hobi’s eye. It took a couple of seconds, as if your soul was reaching for his, but when he did look at you, he looked away quickly to speak to whoever was dressing him, and then he started walking your way.

You breathed in deeply as his hand landed on the nape of your neck, squeezing a little in reassurance.

“Could you give us a minute please.” He smiled brightly to the woman in front of you, receiving a nod in response and you watched the woman walk away. When she had walked away, Hobi had turned you to face him, away from the stool you were standing on and to a quieter corner of the room.

“What’s going on baby?” He held his hands softly on your hips, looking down at you with a little worry in his eyes. “Talk to me.” His tone was so sweet and had you spilling your thoughts faster than you would have done in the past.

“I don’t understand why the woman pulled me onto the stool. No one has told me if I was going with you tomorrow or not and I got confused. And she didn’t tell me first, she just pulled me onto the stool and began poking me with her needle and holding her measuring tape against my legs.” Moving his hands from their place on your hips to hold your hands, he listened and waited until you were done talking to figure out a solution.

“Okay baby. Here is the plan, if you don’t want to go, if you don’t feel comfortable in any way, Seungho is prepared to stay with you in the hotel room and you can watch the event from there. But if you would like to go, the nice woman who was helping you before can get your measurements and we can get you a dress to try on before we head back to the hotel today. We have already told them your preferences just in case.” Hobi gestures to the woman who helped you earlier, her hand moving between a couple of the boys’ suit pants with a label maker.

“It is up to you, darling.” He squeezes your hands, waiting for you to answer him.

You think about what normally happens at the AMA’s, imagining the red carpet where pictures are taken and interviews are held, and immediately scrunch your nose up, not wanting to do that. You knew it would take away from BTS as artists and you didn’t want that. But you didn’t really mind if you could go into the building while that was happening and wait for them, if you were able.

“Would I have to go on the red carpet with you?” You question your mate, wanting to know if that was something you would need to do, or if you could pass on it.

“Of course not baby. We could have Seungho bring you inside to our seats while we are on the carpet. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” You breathe out a sigh of relief and lean into your elder mate, needing his comfort as your breathing calms down. You can feel his hands on your back now, rubbing up and down in a calming way as he helped you try to regulate your breathing.

“Are you ready to get your measurements finished?” Hobi asked after a couple more seconds, knowing that they were on a tight time constraint but also knowing you needed these quiet seconds to regulate.

You nodded your head and he led you back to the stool you previously occupied. He helped you on it before waving the woman over from before, meeting her halfway and talking with her about your boundaries and the dress you would prefer. 

It helped a lot as she now told you before she was going to do something, and she explained what she was doing as she did it. Hobi stayed with you the entire time, watching as the woman worked.

He could see you were more relaxed than before, just knowing he was there. He knew you didn’t say if you wanted to go or not, but he knew you were truly thinking about it, deciding if you would go. He hoped you would, they all did. They wanted you by their side as they continued to grow as individuals and as a group. They wanted you to be with them every step of the way.

And if it meant you didn’t walk down a red carpet, then you didn’t walk down a red carpet. It was as simple as that. They cared more about you being comfortable than a silly red carpet where even they got overwhelmed at times.

It took only five minutes to get your measurements and to confirm with the stylist what you were comfortable with before the appointment was over. Stepping off the stool, you moved right back into Hobi’s arms, wrapping your own around his abdomen as you shoved your face into his sweatshirt.

“That was torture.” You grumble out as your face was smooshed against his chest. He only laughed and started to walk with you still attached to him, proving to be difficult as you almost trip.

“Hobi!” You shout out as he catches you, laughter pouring from his lips as he helps you stand up straight again.

“Sorry baby.” He laughs again, holding your hand as he brings you to where the others are waiting, smiles on their lips as they watch you cling to their mate. They had all felt through the bond a little flare of nerves coming from you but it passed quickly as Hobi helped you.

“Hello loves. Are we ready to head to rehearsal?” Jin asked as you and Hobi made it to the group, giving you a little kiss to your temple as he passes by you and out the door. You grab your backpack from where it was leaning against the wall and walked with Hobi and Jungkook to the car where you would then head to the rehearsal hall the AMA’s had rented out.

As there was a bit of traffic, it took a little longer than planned to reach the hall, but it was a good thing you had some snacks in your backpack. You reached down and pulled out the little pouch of gummy worms you had gotten at the hotel gift shop that morning.

You took a couple of worms, carefully picking them out before turning to Jungkook, your seat partner, and holding them out. You poked his thigh to get his attention. When he did look at you, it was to your cheeks puffed out with your mouth full of gummy worms, a couple held out for him to take.

“Did you get hungry, baby?” He asked while trying to hold back a giggle as he took the worms from you. He got his phone out and with a quick snap, your chipmunk cheeks were the subject of his new screensaver, your small smile poking through your cheeks as you tried to smile for the camera.

Your cheeks were filled again once you reached the hall, trying to chew and swallow what you could before the car door opened. You managed not to choke only to Jungkook’s amusement as you watched you continuously fill your cheeks with the gummy goodness. You had managed to eat the entire bag before the car pulled in, more pictures of you taken by your slightly older soulmate.

You had a love for gummy worms and gummy bears, loving the texture of them and loving the sweet taste even more. You had favored them since you were a kid, always picking them when you went to the movies or before a road trip with your family.

You pouted when you were done, letting Jungkook help you out of the vehicle and place a mask on your lips.

“C’mon baby. I’m pretty sure they have a vending machine in here. Maybe they have some more gummy worms?” His words helped you to move, following the others in the building as Jungkook held onto your backpack.

You entered a very large room, tape on the floor in the shape of the stage the boys would be performing on the next night. It was surreal to you to be here, and not to just see the image on a Bangtan bomb or within a photo one of the boys might post on twitter or weverse.

After getting over the awe you felt, you looked for a corner of the room where you could sit and maybe work on one of the wordsearches you had bought, out of the way of the boys and the crew. You didn’t want to get in anyone’s way or step on anyone’s toes.

Fixing your eyes onto a corner in the far back, you decided it would be perfect as you can see everything and the boys could see in in the mirror as they practiced. Sitting down you made yourself comfy on the floor, grabbing your collection of pen highlighters and your word search, you placed them on the floor next to your water bottle.

           As you move to open your word search you feel someone next to you. Namjoon sat there; his hands wrapped around his legs as he looks over at you.

“Hi baby. I just wanted to check in with you. How are you doing?” His words brought a sense of calmness to you, just like his aura in general. You always felt calm with him.

“Hi Joonie.” You smile up at him, reminiscent of the photo Jungkook had sent him in the car earlier. “I am doing okay. A little hungry but that’s okay. I can wait until you guys are all done.” You answer back after a couple of seconds. You have to think about your answer before telling them, you don’t want to lie, but you always have to take a second to truly assess how you are feeling, which doesn’t come easily to you.

“I was worried that today would be a little overwhelming for you.” Namjoon revealed to you, causing you to look up at him again. “But I’m glad you are doing okay. You would tell us if you weren’t, right?” He asked, needing to know you wouldn’t hide something because you felt burdensome, having heard from Yoongi and Hobi that “okay” is your go to response.

You nod your head at his question, not knowing if you could accurately answer his question without knowing the context or possible situation he could be referring to. Namjoon just takes your answer for what it was, a probability. Nodding in his own way, he then goes to ask how you feel about attending the American Music Awards that were to take place the next day.

“If it’s okay, I think I would like to go, but I don’t want to be on the red carpet. I don’t want to take the event away from you all and I don’t think I’m comfortable with being on it.” You were honest with him, something he would never fault you for. He was happy you were being honest with him and with yourself.

“Don’t worry baby, we can work things out with Seungho. I’m glad you are going with us though. I know we would feel more at ease with you by our sides.” He moved forward, catching you slightly off guard as he placed a sweet kiss to your cheek before getting up and leaving you to your thoughts and the wordsearch across your lap.

Next Chapter

[absolutebl]

Hi!

I love your Blog and love to read your takes in everything. So thank you so much for all your Posts and thoughts about the industry etc.

Here is my question: i came across one of your posts where you wrote "actually gay, not bl gay" (it was a Post about Jojo and Only Friends) and while I FELT that I TOTALLY understood what you meant and instantly was like "yes 100% clear" Id love to read and learn more about what this means exactly and why some bls feel quite heteronormative while some dont. Would you mind explain the take on "actually gay Not Bl gay" a little bit? And why some Shows feel just more queer than others (besides the unbelievable stupid "gay only for you" trope lol)

Thank you so much and I hope you will have a nice day!

actually gay, not bl gay

There's actually quite a discourse on this right now mostly originating with @waitmyturtles and @wen-kexing-apologist (Post @killiru references above is here.)

I tend to mostly talk about this in broad brush strokes as a queer lens.

But there's a great ven diagram (which of course I've lost the link to) that approaches the idea of and queer lens by tunneling into its approach and intent:

about queers

by queers

for queers

How do different BLs intersect in different ways with these three elements?

When I said "actually gay, not BL gay" I was alluding to this discourse. Specifically the "about queers" category of BL.

There are characters in BL who read as genuinely gay (as in belonging to the queer family of this terrible reality we live in) and then there are those that seem more performative (to exist in a bubble of fantasy were sexual identity is almost unimportant, only the romance matters, everything is safe sweetness & light). For some queers this can read as manipulative or even exploitive (because it is inauthentic to most queer experiences). For me, it's fine... even desirable. I like the safe bubble. I enjoy the utter delusional escapism of it. Sometimes I will call this sanitized gay. (Since it is designed to make gay palatable to non-gay identified folks e.g. seme/uke.)

A sanitized gay BL may be unintentional but it is nested in origin yaoi and mm romance whose target market has never been the queer community, and whose authors have historically not been members of it, either.

Let's be frank, we queers are generally a terrible target market, we don't have enough spending power - especially not for a piece of pop culture as niched as BL. And as creators we really want our voices to be heard (obvs), which makes us produce content that those unsympathetic or uncaring find uncomfortable. (Yes, I know, fuck them, but also, they have all the money and the entertainment industry is a numbers game.)

So in the arena of office romances, just as an example:

actually gay = The New Employee

sanitized gay = Our Dating Sim

actual gay = Step By Step

sanitized gay = A Boss And a Babe

All of the above have the same tropes, archetypes, and premises. All of them are BL. Some are just... queerer feeling than others. And the characters in those shows (Step by Step and The New Employee) read as more "actually gay."

This has nothing to do with the actors, chemsitry, or how much we may personally like the show (Our Dating Sim is one of my absolute favorite BLs). It has to do with how closely those CHARACTERS intersect with the reality of queerness as we inhabit it today. It will be lots of little touches given to the drama by director and script:

language use,

surrounding friendships (and friendship style),

mannerisms and physicality (specially body language around straights vs other queer characters),

makeup & wardrobe,

facial expressions,

surrounding queer-coded behaviors by side characters,

layers of story nuance that indicate a complicated queer-driven back story.

Markers of specifically a queer identity are given to the leads.

These kinds of BLs are satisfying the "about queers" category. ("By queers" can be difficult to extract because IRL outting is involved. "For queers" is the rarest kind of BL, because making something specifically for us often alienates the majority of the rest of viewership/market. I could be argued that SCOY did this.)

I'm sure I've missed things, but I hope that kinda makes sense?

By/For/About discourse from @wen-kexing-apologist here:

Parts 1

Part 2

Part 3

I'm indebted to them for the links!

More Queer Stuff from Yours Truly

BL Linguistics & Queer Identity - I Am Gay versus I Like Men 

Will BL Get More Honestly Queer? 

Queer lens (from the director) and chemistry (from the actors) in BL (A Tale of Thousand Stars)

Touch & Daisy in Secret Crush On You - Queer Coded Language and 3rd Gender Identity

BL in Taiwan & Gay Marriage

Debating Queerbaiting in BL ( + Devil Judge... is it queerbaiting?) 

BL Actors and the Assumption of Queerness - outing actors, coming out, being out, more:  Is that BL actor actually queer?

So is it really fetishization? straight women loving bl 

Some BL fans are sasaengs, and it’s a problem in this fandom 

BLs That Highlight How Society Treats Queers

10 BLs That Are Honest to a Queer Experience 

(source)

[mouthsfullofsharpteeth]

warning signs

cross posted on my ao3. can be read as platonic or romantic. enjoy :3

For as long as Jay had known Alex (which was an awfully long time, mind you; since Elementary school, since they both had long hair, since people still used OCD to mean washing your hands a lot), Alex had been a bit of a germaphobe. 

He didn’t like getting dirty. He didn’t like his living space to be dirty. He was the tidiest teenager Jay had known in high school, his floor always devoid of crumbs and trash, and bed always made. Unlike Jay, who had lived in what Alex described as “complete filth, what the hell is wrong with you?”. 

Alex would scrub his hands for multiple minutes if they felt sticky, and would scold Jay for just dumping his stuff on the floor whenever he came over. Jay didn’t always understand it, but he respected Alex’s need to keep things nice and clean. He thought it was admirable how, even when they were both moved out and Alex had three random guys as his roommates, that his kitchen counters were shiny and his floor was swept. Sure, it was annoying when Alex complained about Jay’s own messy house, but that usually ended with him taking matters into his own hands and dedicating an afternoon to ‘fixing it’ for Jay. Which was awesome. Multiple comments were made about getting Alex a little feather duster and apron, how he could dress up as Cinderella whenever he did this. 

This behavior started to decline around when the filming of Marble Hornets picked up. Jay didn’t think much of it at first. Alex left his obsessively organized director’s binder spread out on the floor, copies of scripts and critiques from professors circling it, pens and pencils and highlighters a jumbled maze leading from his door to his bed. Jay didn’t notice when Alex started to leave his backpack and jacket and shoes in a pile by the front door, nor did he notice when his socks picked up dust and dirt as he walked across the kitchen floor. 

Jay paid no attention to when he had to navigate across piles of dirty clothes in order to get to Alex’s desk. He didn’t notice when Alex retreated to a messy nest of blankets and sheets on his bed, absentmindedly making Jay brush some crumbs off in order to sit. 

Alex’s cleanliness was such an ingrained part of him, that honestly, Jay just stopped noticing the behavior after a while. And so, he just… didn’t pick up on the change. 

Not until July. 

“Alex?” 

The front door was unlocked. None of Alex’s roommates' cars were in the driveway, only Alex’s. Parked on the curb, haphazard, a few feet away from being lined up. 

Jay walked inside, listening for the sound of Alex from anywhere inside the house. It was dark, and warm, like the A/C wasn’t running. The couch was gone from the living room, and boxes were spread around the halls. 

“Alex? You in here?” He flicked the lightswitch, and the entryway illuminated. Clothes were piled up in the corner, dirty and damp looking, like they had been used to clean something up. Jay could see one of them was the Deftones t-shirt Jay had given Alex for his 19th birthday. 

“Your car was out front.. Uhm. You missed filming today. The guys are all kind of pissed..”

He began to walk upstairs, a little unsure. Was Alex even here?

The carpeted stairs were dirty and stained. Dog hair covered them. 

“Dude, where are you?” He reached the top of the stairs, about to turn on another light switch, when his wrist was suddenly grabbed. “AH!” Yelped Jay, gasping when Alex stepped out of the dark bathroom, hand cold and tight around Jay’s wrist. 

“What are you doing here?” Alex asked, a stormy look on his face. 

“I-I just told you! We were supposed to shoot today, and you weren’t there! I texted and called you, like, a million times! What’s going on??”

Alex finally let go of his arm, and turned away, heading towards his bedroom. Jay followed, incessant. 

“Alex?”

“I was busy.”

Jay stepped over what looked like a broken pile of wood from a dresser drawer. He could see the knob on it. There were wood shavings around it, splinters and scratches on the floor. 

“Well, you could have, you know, communicated that?”

Alex turned on the light in his room, and Jay followed him in. It was a complete disaster. His desk was stacked on top of his dresser, blocking the window. His dresser was missing two drawers. Clothes covered the floor like a second carpet, papers and food wrappers and water bottles piled up with no order to them. The sheet had peeled off one corner of Alex’s bed, the mattress showing underneath. A pillow was on the floor, and the blankets were squished up to the foot of the bed. The room smelled stale and sweaty. 

It was safe to say, Jay noticed now. 

“Jesus Christ, Alex. What happened in here?”

Alex shook his head, walking to his bedside table and picking up a video camera. Jay could see the red light blinking. 

“Wha- why are you recording? Alex, seriously. What’s going on?”

“Stop asking questions, you’re giving me a headache,” grumbled Alex. Aiming the camera at Jay. He sat down on the edge of his bed, dropping his head into his hands, rubbing his forehead. Alex was wearing shorts, two different socks, and a black t-shirt with a drooping neckline. Jay didn’t even know what shirt that was. It looked like it might be inside out. 

“Alex… are.. are you okay?” Jay asked in a softer, gentler voice. Face all creased up and worried. He stepped around the disaster on the floor, coming to Alex’s side, and sitting down beside him. Alex’s camera lens followed his movement, his hand angling it to focus on Jay like he wasn’t even thinking about it. Jay felt unnerved, and uncomfortable being filmed like this. 

“What would you say if I wasn’t.” Alex’s words were flat, lifeless. Not even a question, just… resigned. Like he thought Jay would ignore the horrifying implications of what he’d just said.

“I wo-would say that, uh, that I’m worried? That I’m here for you, and want to help. That I will help, as soon as you tell me what’s going on?” Jay’s heart was steadily picking up speed. This was feeling an awful lot like sophomore year of high school, when they both learned what being transgender was and then what intersex looked like, when Alex stopped getting out of bed and looked moments from death for months until he was allowed to cut his hair. 

Alex scoffed. “Alright, Jay. Sure.”

Jay frowned. “I mean it. Something is clearly wrong, and I’m your best friend. I want to help.”

“Did Brian put you up to this?”

Brian? Jay’s eyebrows creased. 

“No..? What does Brian have to do with this?” 

“He came by yesterday, with Tim. Made a big show of how worried he was, how he wanted me to talk. How he’d noticed how bad I was getting. Fucking liar.” Alex’s voice was dark and angry. Jay shivered. Alex used to talk about Brian like he was the sun in the sky. Why was he so mad that Brian had come by?

“Well… no, he didn’t ‘put me up to this’. I didn’t know he visited. Neither of them said anything when we met to film today.”

Tentatively, Jay put a hand on Alex’s back. It bowed underneath his touch, but Alex didn’t shove him away. Jay relaxed, letting his palm rest there. Rubbing a little. He could feel Alex’s spine. Had Alex lost weight? They had gotten lunch together not that long ago, he thought. Or… no, the last time was in June. Was Alex eating poorly? Alex had a job still, didn’t he? The last time he’d lost his job and couldn’t afford food, he had kept it a secret for ages… what if that was happening again.

“Why are you here.” Jay could feel Alex swallow. 

“I wanted to check on you. You’re my best friend.”

“Am I?”

Jay’s entire body stiffened. His hands felt cold.

“Yes. Yes you are. What’s going on, Alex? Please talk to me.”

Alex looked up through his shaggy hair. His haircut had grown out a lot. His glasses had slid low on his nose. 

“I wish I could,” he said softly. Staring up at Jay. “I don’t even know what to say.”

Jay started back. Heart sinking. 

“You don’t have to say anything… I… uhm.” He puffed out air. “Want me to clean your room for you?”

Alex blinked. His face twitched a little. God, he looked exhausted. Eyes all bloodshot and veiny, deep dark circles beneath them. Face a little waxy and hollow. “What?” He asked, like he hadn’t heard Jay. 

“Do- uh, do you want me to clean your room? I can run a load of laundry for you, uhm. I can vacuum? Help you change your sheets and stuff?”

Alex stared at Jay. Seemingly in disbelief. “Uh. I- I guess- are you sure?”

Jay nodded quickly. “I’m positive. I’ll do it right now. You don’t have to do any of it, I can do it.”

Alex sat up a little more. The camera lowered from how focused it was on Jay. 

“Uhm.. okay. Okay, I guess. If you really want to-”

“I do, I really want to.”

Alex swallowed, staring at Jay like he wasn’t convinced Jay was real. “Okay, then. Uhm. Go ahead.”

Jay smiled, a little nervous, a little relieved. Progress was progress. Whatever was going on with Alex, Jay would get to the bottom of it. He would never give up on Alex. 

[ratcandy]

YOU GUYS almost let me forget my Sozo thought.

Okay, so earlier today I was thinking about that journal about ants in isolation that I referenced in an ask yesterday. And I remembered it mentioning how ants, when isolated, have a greater tendency of clinging to the edges of their enclosure and just walking around the sides/against the walls.

Specifically, the authors said this: "Visual inspection of the videos further revealed clear behavioral differences, including single ants spending considerably more time walking near the walls of the box than ants in groups [...] single ants spent almost three times as much time near the wall (Fig. 2c) and less time in the nest (Fig. 2d) than grouped ants."

And how does this relate to Sozo?? WELL I remembered that. While in your cult, still shroomed, Sozo will constantly run around the edges of the cult. Just circling it over and over again. At least that's what he did in mine. Circled the perimeter of the cult grounds, stopping periodically to dance in place or run over to the mushrooms/any present Mushroomos. But he spent most of his time just circling the place

That study I mentioned hypothesized that the reason a lot of isolated ants will die quicker was due to energy imbalance: "Together, the higher locomotor activity of single ants and their increased propensity to leave the nest to move along the walls led us to hypothesize that the increased mortality of isolated ants may stem from an imbalance of energy income and expenditure."

so like. Can anyone hear me does anyone else see what I'm saying Mans could very well be running himself to his death by circling the cult ground . Whether intentionally (if consciousness is still around) or the parasite doing it (I wouldn't know why, but hey. I only mention it because cordyceps should have full control over his body so him causing himself to run would be a little ?? Unless he came back to life with some motor control re-obtained).

Or it's just an innate biological thing of ants, where they get so stressed when away from other ants that they start circling whatever has "trapped" them as a means of releasing that stress

(the journal wasn't totally sure what caused this behavior so that's why I'm also speculating lmao)

but anyway. CAn anyone HEAR ME

[writingomegas]

Hey, could I request some fluff with the prompt "You look awful. What happened?" For Aizawa, please?

I included Eri as Reader & Aizawa's child bc I cannot think of him as anything other than her father. It's a little shorter, sorry!

CW: None that I can think of

Your mate was generally a pretty stoic person, so you knew he'd had a rough day when you could clearly read the exhaustion on his face. His body was tense, and he looked about ready to fall over. You hurried over to where he was standing in the doorway and pulled him into your arms. He sighed and rested his head on your shoulder.

"You look awful. What happened?"

"Today was quirk training."

You winced in sympathy. You knew all about Aizawa's students from his various rants about their behavior. They were good kids, but they were strong. And while your husband was a damn good hero, even he had trouble keeping up with them sometimes.

"Midoriya and Bakugou started taking things too seriously again and almost brought down the training facility, and Kaminari short-circuited pretty badly. Ashido tried to throw acid at Mineta again, and ended up burning Hagakure by accident. Just...it was a lot."

You ran your fingers through his hair as he spoke, and pressed a kiss to his temple. "Well lucky for you, I washed all your nesting stuff and rebuilt it for you. Eri's taking a nap in it right now, so why don't we go and have some family cuddle time to destress?"

Aizawa hummed in agreement and gave you a gentle kiss. "Thank you."

"Of course. Now, our sweet, sweet nest beckons us," you said jokingly. He playfully rolled his eyes, but you could see the smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

You led him to his nest, where Eri was in fact sleeping soundly. Aizawa crawled in and scented her lightly. She stirred slightly and gave a content hum before settling again. You climbed in and wrapped your arms around the two of them, smiling happily. This was truly your favorite place to be.

"....You know, if you would just let me join you for quirk training-"

"I'm not letting you fight my students."

[bethanythebogwitch]

Welcome back to the series where I go over the real-world origins of all aquatic Pokémon. As we all know, Hoenn has too much water and there it also has a lot of aquatic Pokémon to go over. For previous entries see Gen I part 1, gen I part 2 and gen II. For my previous series where I went over the origins of all fish Pokémon, see here. For the fish of generation III see here. I’ll be going over the starters and legendaries on their own so no Mudkip line or Kyogre today.

We begin with what I’m astonished to say is still the only grass/water line 6 generations later, the Lotad line. Seriously, this should be a type combination rich with inspirations to drag from: sea grass, algal blooms, mangroves, seaweed, lotus, kelpies, all great options for water/grass types. The Lotad line is based on lily pads, the leaves of the water lily plant. These plants grow in shallow water and are famous for their round, often dish-shaped leaves that rest on the surface of the water. The pads are strong enough to support small animals like frogs and birds, which is the basis of Lotad acting as a ferry for small Pokémon.

(Image: giant lily pads with a human for scale)

The other main basis for the line is the kappa, a creature of Japanese folklore. Kappas are aquatic humanoids with duck-like bills and dishes on their heads that hold water. The lily pad of the Lotad line acts as the dish, though unlike the kappa, the Pokémon will not become powerless if their dishes are emptied of water. Kappas are malicious beings that grab people and pull them underwater to drown. Lombre’s prankster behavior is a toned-down version of the kappa’s.

(image: a depiction of a kappa)

Lombre and Ludicolo are also based on stereotypical depictions of Mexicans, with the lily pads looking like sombreros and their dancing behavior being similar to Mexican folk dances or mariachi bands. Ludicolo also looks like a giant pineapple.

The Wingull line are based off of seabirds, with Wingull being a seagull and Pelipper being a pelican. Seabirds rely on having access to water (or in the case of seagulls, the local landfill) and feed largely on fish or other aquatic animals. Wingull has some other influences, with the size of its wings and method of gliding on air currents being similar to an albatross and it building nests on sheer cliffs is a refence to many species of seabird, including murres, kittiwakes, and Atlantic puffins. Pelipper is a pelican, seabirds famous for their large throat pouch that can be used to scoop up and carry lots of food. Pelipper is also based on boats. It can float on the surface  of the water and its silhouette in profile looks like a boat, with its beak being the hull and its head being a deckhouse

(Image: a pelican with its throat pouch visible)

Surskit is most directly based on water striders, long-legged insects who have their weight distributed over their long legs to lets them stand or skate around on the surface of the water. Surskit being an aquatic first-stage that evolves to the bug/flying Masquerain is a reference to many species of insect that have an aquatic larval stage that metamorphoses into a flying adult stage, such as mayflies, caddisflies, and dragonflies.

(Image: a water strider making a mockery of us gravity-bound mortals standing on the water)

Wailmer and Wailord are, of course, based on whales. Specifically baleen whales, who have replaced their teeth with thin plates of baleen that filter seawater so the whale can feed on plankton and small animals. Even more specifically, they are based on blue whales, as evidenced by their blue coloration and sheer size, with Wailord being the largest normal Pokémon and the blue whale being the largest animal to ever exist on Earth. Both stages are also based on inflatable objects, Wailmer being a beach ball and Wailord being a blimp, which is referenced in their species name of Ball Whale and Float Whale Pokémon and their very low weights for their sizes. Wailord also looks a lot like a submarine. Wailord can leap out of the water and splash down, a behavior known as breaching that is most commonly observed in humpback whales. They are also social animals, living in pods like many real whale species. Its ability to dive incredibly deep on one breath is a reference to many whale species, perhaps most famously the sperm whale.

(Image: a blue whale: the absolutest of units)

Corphish and Crawdaunt are based on crayfish (or crawdads if you’re an infidel), freshwater crustaceans that look very similar to (and are related to) lobsters. In many of their Pokedex entries, the line are said to be an invasive species that are outcompeting the native wildlife. Because of this and their red and orange colors, the line are probably based on the red swamp crayfish, a species native to the southern United States and northern Mexico that have become invasive in many other parts of the world. Their tendency to drive off native species and live in poor-quality habitats are often traits associated with invasive species. The sheer size of the line may also draw from extremely large crayfish like the Tasmanian crayfish, or from cooked lobsters. Crawdaunt seems to display batesian mimicry. This is an adaptation where a species mimics another to avoid predation. In Crawdaunt’s case, the star on its head and zig-zags on its shell make it look like the head of a shiny Sharpedo.

(image: a red swamp crayfish)

The Hoenn fossils might be my favorite as they have both the obscure origins of the earlier-gen fossils with more diverse pypings than the Kanto fossils. Both lines are based on aquatic animals and lived in water despite neither being water-type. Lileep and Cradily are the fossil line based on crinoids and may also draw inspiration from sea anemones. Both are sessile species with a central stalk and a flower-like “head” ringed with flexible “petals”. The similarity to plants is why the live are grass-type. Crinoids are still alive today, but they seem to have been more abundant in the past and are very common fossil finds, hence the line being fossils. Cradily is also called the Barnacle Pokémon, but other than being a sessile marine animal, it has no similarity to barnacles.

(image: a fossil reconstruction of a crinoid)

Anorinth and Armaldo are based on some of the oldest predators we have evidence for: the anomalocaris. They were a genus of predatory (with some filter-feeders) crustaceans with stalked compound eyes and two large, grasping appendages attached to the head that swam with several hard plates emerging from the side. They were enormous for their time and a few species were likely among the earliest apex predators. While the anomalocarids likely never lived to see life emerge on land, Armaldo clearly did as it can go onto land itself. It retains some of its anomalocaris traits but also gains a lot of dinosaur traits. Its upright posture with dragging tail is based on outdated reconstructions of theropods while the thagomizer on its tail comes from a stegosaurus.

(image: anomalocaris paleoart. source)

I covered Feebas in my fish Pokémon series, but not Milotic. This is because Milotic is a sea serpent, though a much more gentle and benevolent take on see serpents than Gyarados. It also draws from mermaids with its pale upper body, scaly lower body, and great beauty.

(Image: A painting of a mermaid by John William Waterhouse)

Lore on mermaids is very varied, but some accounts have them as shy and gentle beings, fitting Milotic’s calm temperament and tendency to quell violent hearts. Milotic also has similarities to oarfish, which are very long, slender fish that are believed to have played a role in inspiring sea serpent legends. Like Milotic, oarfish are very large but are not violent and are harmless to humans.

(image: a fisherman with a juvenile oarfish. Yes, that's a juvenile. They get huge)

The weak and ugly Feebass evolving into the beautiful Milotic is also a reference to the story of the ugly duckling.

The spheal line are all pinniped pals, specifically based on seals, sea lions, and walruses found in the arctic ocean. Spheal and Sealeo draw from seals and sea lions (aka furred seals) due to their furry bodies ( a sea lion trait) and lack of proper hind limbs (a seal trait). They are also based on old circus acts using sea lions where the animal balances a ball on its nose. In this case Spheal is the ball.

(Image: a screenshot of a youtube video showing a sea lion balancing a ball on its nose)

Spheal is stated to be a poor swimmer, which is likely a reference to how juvenile seals and sea lions can’t immediately swim and must rely on their mother’s care until they can survive on their own. Walrein goes from seal and sea lion to walrus, pinnipeds in their own family that are famous for their great size and prominent tusks.

(image: a walrus chilling on the beach)

Clamperl is still one of the weirder pokemon as I still don’t have any explanation for why a bivalve turns into eels. The only guess I have is that maybe its pearls isn’t actually a pearl but rather a fish egg laid by one of its adult forms in the shell of an unknown Pokémon. Oysters are the bivalves most famous for making pearls, though others can do so as well. Its size and shape comes from the giant clam. There are actually several species of giant clam but the largest is Tridacna gigas, the largest known specimen of which had a shell measuring 137 cm. They can get so large thanks to a symbiotic relationship with algae living in their bodies, which provide extra energy in exchange for protection. There are stories of giant clams clamping shut on people’s limbs and drowning them, but this is most likely not true as they close very slowly, many can’t even close all the way, and they only close for defense. A giant clam couldn’t even eat somebody, they feed on plankton.

(image: a giant clam)

[noyaetnox]

Lilia Vanrouge x gn!reader angst

Just a little late

TW! Mentions of death, aggression, abuse, and all that

Lilia is OOC, but it will be explained why.

There is one scene where the young couple is explained to be “cuddling and kissing” and I meant that in a literal way. We had this school-friendly Canterbury Tales book in which kissing and cuddling was just a cover for sex. This is not the case!

Now onto the one-shot!

Lilia had, just like any other day, walked to the room of the young royal. His eyes were quickly scanning through, trying to spot the figure, while he slowly started taking his sword out. He could not see them. Taking slow and quiet steps, he walked to the bed in the middle of the wall, his sword falling back into place loudly as he purposefully slammed it to wake the sleeping heir.

"Lilia!" they awoke with a start, immediately raising their voice at the mischievous guard standing at the foot of their bed.

"Good morning, your highness, it appears that you have overslept your morning training classes," he spoke calmly despite the grin on his face. He was greatly amused. Not only did they oversleep, like any other day, but the hair on their head was nothing short of a bird's nest.

"Oh, hush," they spoke, their feet falling to the floor while they winced at the cold air.

"You are lucky today's training is with the best royal guard, otherwise you would've gotten into a lot of trouble, young one," mocking anger, he raised one of his fingers as to scold the person still in bed. Y/N laughed at his antics and finally got up, quickly walking to his person to envelop him in a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh, how lucky I am, indeed," they spoke into his ear as they stood near the bed, hugging each other. After a second or so, Y/N started swaying their bodies from side to side. Another grin grew on his face.

"Affection will get you nowhere, get dressed so we can start," he was the first to break the hug, "it is very important that you know how to, at least, defend yourself in case I'm not around," he said after. His hands were resting on their shoulders, but he was very serious. One of the things he could not bear even imagining is them getting hurt in his absence.

"Okay, okay, Sir Lilia," with a laugh, Y/N walked to the bathroom to get dressed while Lilia waited in the room. With a shake of his head, he decided to make the bed that was left messy. Then he sat down on the soft mattress, allowing himself a moment of rest before his knightly duties.

"We shall go, my most trusted soldier," the heir walked in, their training clothes making them look like any other knight at the castle. Yet to Lilia, they were the most beautiful, especially the smile Y/N had on their face as they waited for him with their hand outstretched towards him. With hearts in his eyes, he finally stood up and took Y/N's hands into his even for a second. After all, their special relationship was only for the two of them, as the laws of the kingdom would not allow their love. He sadly looked at their intertwined fingers, wistfully wishing they could just escape it all and live far away with no one to judge and rule over them. If only.

"I have stolen this from the kitchen," he spoke as he took out two pieces of today's sweet bread. He knew the queen doesn't allow the young master to eat in the morning, so he took it upon himself to take things from the kitchen.

"Oh, I really like this one!" they took one of them into their hands, and with a quick kiss on the cheek ran towards the training grounds. No one was around, so he pretended to let their behavior go unnoticed by him. Running after them, he took a single bite of the remaining bread, both of them soon sitting down on the green grass to quickly eat before continuing.

"Thank you for the bread, Lilia," he couldn't help but click his tongue.

"It is Sir Lilia on training grounds, your highness," he spoke lowly as he, once again, bore the wooden sword into their torso. He knew he shouldn't be too harsh but the enemy will not go easy on them, after all, none can love them as much as Lilia did.

"Well then, SIR Lilia! How about you let me take a short break, yeah?" the heir spoke, their sword falling to the ground since they were so tired they couldn't be bothered setting it down carefully, too tired to care.

"We took a break five minutes ago, my dear,"

"But you get to call me other names? This is so unfair!"

"Life is unfair, loveliest. Now get your sword and we'll continue. This is the last few minutes, you are allowed to do so," he tried encouraging the tired royal. With an annoyed groan, they listened and were soon standing again.

"I'm going to get you for that, you'll see," they spoke, anger obvious in their voice.

"I'd like to see you try, little bat," (brat 😝)

"Why?" they asked as soon as they stood close enough for only Lilia to hear.

"I'm afraid it is regarding your engagement to the young prince Venget," he answered honestly. It pained him to do so, but there was nothing he could do other than strive to stay at their side even when they're betrothed to another.

"I shall just tell my father I am already in love, then," the royal spoke, standing up within a blink, determined to change their fate.

"You mustn't, my love, for it will only anger the King,"

"Let him be angry! Is my happiness not worth more? More than that- that snuck up! A rotten piece of-"

"Y/N, I'll go to the castle with you,"

"Oh! Very well! Let us be off, then,"

"What do you think of my future spouse?" Y/N asked once they were alone, resting on the balcony of Venget's castle.

"I've heard he's a nobleman, your majesty," Lilia said, not having anything else to share. He did not like Venget but was not allowed to say more while in the public.

"Oh that is great to hear, Lilia," Y/N said, rolling their eyes in the process. They both could agree that Venget was not to the liking of either of them, although only silently.

"I've also heard the castle maidens talk about his handsome looks," he decided to say after a moment of silence. He did not lie, for the castle maidens kept talking about it in his presence, too.

"Oh, Lilia. Had I gone for looks alone, I would've bedded you already," Y/N laughed and finally turned to look at him. Their eyes sparked like any other night, yet now they held mischief in them.

"Y/N! You mustn't speak this way so out in the public," Lilia spoke with a start, putting his hand to their mouth to make sure they do not speak so unproperly anymore.

"I do not care, my love! Let the world know of my adoration for your person!"

"Please, quiet down," he laughed, not being able to act serious when his human was just so adorable, "although, would you so kindly tell me as to what it is about my appearance you like?"

"Your piercing crimson eyes that are like a sea of blood, yet once they spot me, the color is suddenly that of the most beautiful of red roses! Your soft hands, that seem as so only to me and no one else-"

"How are you not afraid of me?" he couldn't help himself blurt the words he's been meaning to ask for years. His eyes fixed on Y/N, watching their every move like a hawk.

"For my heart knows of my feelings for you, and nothing could ever change that," with now a quiet volume, they walked closer to him, his hands now resting in theirs. One of those hands came up to his face and cupped one of his cheeks.

"You are the least scary of them all, my love," Y/N said, slowly closing the distance between them as their mouth met halfway. Every time they shared a kiss, Lilia was overjoyed beyond belief. Not only did he love his Y/N, but the whole idea of them doing so in secret always excited him.

"But you know of my history,"

"Even I have things I am not proud of, dear, it is of no importance to me," and so they sealed the night off with more sweet kisses under the moonlight in a silent promise of staying together forever.

"I have been called back to the castle, I'm afraid," Lilia voiced to his lover, who had just asked him to attend their wedding.

"Lilia, please," they started, moving closer to him and trying to grasp his hands in theirs. He moved away from them, "I need you there," their eyes met. While Y/N had tears falling down already, Lilia had just a tad hint of them forming as he tried, desperately, to not let his true feelings show at that moment.

"My duties do not allow me-"

"You're nothing but a liar!" interrupted Y/N his rehearsed speech. He was about to question what was the meaning of their words when his lover continued.

"You do not have any duties back home," they spoke with sniffles, wiping their eyes aggressively with one of their sleeves, "I know it is not easy for you, but I can't do it without you there, Lilia," now both of their hands were covering their eyes as they wept, now silently.

"Y/N," he tried in a soft voice, he knew it was very hard for both of them. Despite all of that, it was hard for him. Oh, so hard.

To watch his lover cry their eyes out, begging for him to come to the ceremony held for their marriage with another man. Oh, how his heart kept cracking in heartbreak. Yet he knew his heart would break even more had he chosen to attend the ceremony.

"I can understand why," they said after a second, sniffling, "but please, Lilia. Please aid me. I would not be able to survive," their head rested on his shoulder as their tears slowly started wetting his clothes. The two of them were alone in the room given to Y/N to get used to the castle. Lilia was there as their guardian.

"Dearest," he started, caressing their head as softly as he possibly could, "I will come back before the ceremony. I will arrive with your father, but I must leave nonetheless," giving them a kiss, he finally spoke. Originally, he had no plans of watching the ceremony, but what could he do when his lover begged him so?

"Thank you. Thank you so much, Love," Y/N finally looked into his eyes. They were almost as red as his own from all the crying and rubbing.

"Now let's get you to bed so you can rest, hm?"

"Please lay down with me,"

"Preposterous idea, little monster. You are to be wedded to another in a few days,"

"That is precisely why the moment is nigh,"

And so well into the night, the two lovers quietly shared sparks of love, becoming one while they still could. Secretly, so no one but the gods could bare witness to their love blossoming.

"I will see you in two days, my love," Y/N spoke, correcting Lilia's collar the next day.

"Yes, wait for me,"

I love you

I love you, too

"You tell me, Lilia," the King spoke while they were riding towards Venget's castle. In the carriage were the King, the Queen, their personal guard, and Lilia. They were all squished together for no other reason than the royal couple wanting to bad-mouth and talk about other people.

"Yes, my King?"

"How is Venget?"

"Oh," Lilia coughed a little, trying to quickly collect himself, "why might the King be interested in my humble opinion?"

"Simply because I trust you the most," the King laughed and hit his shoulder.

"I must apologize then, for my opinion might not be to your liking," Lilia smiled a little. He knew that his relationship with the King was more than just work-related, but he still could not speak his opinion. Had he always spoken the truth, he would've told him years ago of his secret relationship.

"Should I call off the marriage, then?" the King asked more himself, than Lilia.

"I'm worried that will be quite the conundrum," finally spoke the Queen, her hand reaching for the hand of the King sitting opposite of her.

"Yes, you are right, darling," he looked at Lilia with a mischievous smile, "with Lilia around, I'm sure everything will be alright," the Queen followed and also looked at him. Lilia decided to challenge the king and returned their looks.

"Of course, I am the best royal guard,"

"Right, that, too. I was talking about you two sharing intimate moments," Lilia's heart almost stopped.

"Excuse me?"

"What the King meant to say," the Queen spoke while giving her husband a side eye, "we once saw you two share a kiss on Y/N's balcony," Lilia's breathing got harder as he tried to keep calm.

"I want to apologize-"

"No need. We would want to apologize for not being able to give you two an opportunity to love. The higher-ups would not accept the relationship and poor Y/N is our only child,"

“That is not my concern at all, my King” Lilia heaved a sigh and finally calmed down enough to form comprehensible sentences, “pardon me for saying so, but I had been under the impression that it had gone unnoticed,”

“Well, I am not aware of how long this has been going on!” with a hearty laugh, the King tried easing the situation.

“For many a year, I am afraid,” with a bashful expression, Lilia looked out of the window.

“Then, please make sure to stay at my child's side while I figure out a way for them to get out of the marriage,”

“Yes, my King,”

Soon enough, the carriage had stopped and they were able to exit. The royal guard made sure to follow behind his employers closely for that was his job.

“If you will excuse me, I would like to go see Y/N before their big moment,”

“You have my blessing, son,”

After a deep sigh, Lilia finally gathered the courage to knock on the door behind which Y/N was getting dressed. The whole way to Vegnet's castle, he felt butterflies in his stomach from how nervous he was.

“Yes, come in,” spoke the voice he had missed so much during the two days he had been away.

“Good afternoon, Y/N,” he greeted with a deep bow to allow Y/N to hide their nakedness just in case. Not like it would be the first he would get to observe their body, though. His head then lifted up. It was like the whole world stopped for a while from the sight he bore witness at that moment.

“You are breathtakingly beautiful my dearest, dare I say ethereal,” he voiced, looking around once more to check whether no one was around before rushing to their person.

“Lilia!” his lover laughed, wasting no second to pepper his face with many kisses, “I am so glad you are finally here,” they spoke once they decided he's had enough. Though once their faces inched apart, Y/N could not but laugh upon seeing what had become of his face - now littered with kiss marks all over.

“I am also,” and so they spent the rest of the time cuddling and sharing kisses while waiting for the ceremony to start.

That, if you were to ask any one of them, came too soon. For only a little after their reunion were they forced to part once more for the sake of the dreaded ceremony.

“Venget Kruwarug, do you take this person to be your partner, to live together in holy matrimony, to love them, to honor them, to comfort them, and to keep them in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?” asked the priest.

“I do,”

“And, Y/N L/N, do you take this man to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” and Lilia's heart broke once again at that moment.

When the newlywed couple was to share a kiss, he averted his eyes.

“What is it like? Being married?” asked Lilia when the two of them were dancing in one of the many big halls of their new home.

“I can not wait to get out of this marriage, really,” Y/N rested their head on his shoulder once they spun.

“Why is that?”

“You have many duties outside of the castle and it is insufferable without you around to keep me company, and grounded so I do not wind up mad,”

“Then I shall hurry with my duties to be able to whisk you away sooner,” he slowly, yet full of love, kissed his lover. The moment might have been the sweetest they were able to share in a while, had they not been interrupted by King Venget, who rushed into the hall - in turn forcing their kiss to break.

“When have you gotten here, Lilia Vanrouge? How have I not been notified of your arrival?” he asked, leaving Lilia to break their hold and bow.

“That must be because I have first searched for my Sovereign, whom I am the personal guard of, before attending to my other duties,” with venom seething from his words, Lilia very secretly smirked to himself.

“Then I ask of you to not do the same the next time you come for a visit,” with a hiss, the King took Y/N's hand and rushed them outside while Lilia had no other option but to follow.

“General Vanrouge! With this, you have been given my blessings to live a married life with my only child, Y/N Vanrouge,” King F/N spoke with the happiest smile possible, after all, the two of them were now family even on paper. Finally- finally, were they able to give Lilia a higher status that would allow him to be wedded to Y/N. The only thing left was for him, now General Vanrouge, to take Y/N away.

“What brings you here, guard?” asked a very furious Venget from his throne room.

“It is General Vanrouge now, and I have come for Y/N,” the smile on Lilia's face was uncharacteristic of him. He felt proud and powerful.

“Go then,” Venget laughed back, flicking his hand in the process. As if he didn't care at all. This angered Lilia but he tried to not let it get to him, but rather to Y/N's quarters that he knew the way to even with closed eyes.

He slammed open the door, yet the room was quiet and empty.

“General Vanrouge,” spoke a voice from behind. He spun around, his head spinning from the toll of said action. It was one Venget's maids, whispering to him.

“Have you an idea where they are?”

“I am worried you have come a bit late, General, Y/N passed four days ago,”

“What?” clutching his heart he looked up at the now taller figure of the maid, “what are you saying?”

“Y/N had committed the act of suicide after yet another quarrel with the king,”

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO!

What?!

Lilia had known of the pain Y/N had been in this whole time, but he felt like their promise of a better life could aid them in surviving for even just a little.

Oh, how he hated not simply taking them away the second he noticed the first bruises on their body.

Had Lilia just ignored the people, the two of them could right now be living together somewhere far away, no one there to judge or stand in their way.

But that was naught but a dream now.

In a fit of rage, General Vanrouge went on a rampage and murdered everyone in Venget's castle. Stories spread fast, of a mad king and his divine punishment in the form of a fae.

He returned to his home with the body of his lover in his hands. After a proper burial, he had no place in the castle, so he took off into the wild.

On one of his voyages, he came across a woman in distress. She was overpowered by fae, her cloaked figure desperately screaming at them to let her be. The virtuous knight that he was, he spared no time in killing them and saving the maiden in need of help. Once their eyes met, he recognized the figure to be none other than the ruler of Briar Valley. Who, as thanks for his help, appointed him General of the army they had been building in preparation for the human-fae war that was soon to break out. Though hesitant, he accepted, realizing that his life had at that time been nothing but a disappointment.

“General Vanrouge, reporting for duty,”

And so Lilia Vanrouge became an honorable member of Briar Valley, aiding his new home in winning the war. Later, he promised himself to not fight to death anymore but to live a peaceful life, opting to help train the castle knights and take care of the newborn heir to Briar Valley whom they named Malleus Draconia.

It wasn't long before he came across a small human child in the forest. Silver. Often did Lilia think about raising his own children, and having a family with his one and only, yet he could not anymore.

Silver learned to not question why they visited a grave with the name Y/N Vanrouge engraved on it once a year. Had his father wanted him to know, he would've told him.

Now, Lilia Vanrouge lives a different life, free of the pain and suffering he had gone through. As a result, he had become way more positive and appreciative of what life had to offer. Cursed with a long lifespan, all he could now do was make sure to pass his knowledge and take care of his son.

#################################

I plan on editing this, but for now, happy reading!

Interested in more of my work? Check out my master list!

[rivalriotrenegade]

Werewolf Jason Todd Pt.2!

Jason has four forms. First is his human form. Second is basically a human form just with ears and a tail, maybe some claws depending on his mood.  Third is his wolf form. This is literally just him as a giant ass wolf. Nuf said. Fourth form is an even gianter humanoid wolf. Basically what people think of when they hear the word ‘werewolf’. 

Today we’ll be talking about Jason's second form. His half’n’half! 

There are times when Jason’s animal instincts take over. It doesn’t happen very often, maybe 4-8 times a year. But when this happens he often shifts into the half human half wolf form. (So just wolf ears and tail) Sometimes he’ll lose himself and just wander around the house in a haze looking for you. During these times he mutters things under his breath like “Mate. Mate. Where’s mate?” “Need… mate.” “Gotta… Gotta find mate.” If you’re home Jason will inevitably find you and when he does he will do this stupid head bump thing where he gently bumps his head and rubs it against you before wrapping his long arms around your waist, picking you up, carrying you to your room and plopping you down onto your ‘nest’.  

If you were doing something important before this, well that sucks because you're not going anywhere and these little episodes he has can last anywhere from 10 minutes to literal hours. 

But on the bright side he will then begin to try to make you comfortable all while muttering things like “Precious mate.” “Keep mate warm.” “Keep mate safe.” “Lovely little mate.” and “Mine. All mine.” Once he’s done wrapping you in blankets he will join you under the sheets. On a good day he will scent you, which is basically just him rubbing his face against you so you’ll smell more like him. On a bad day he’ll groom you. Hope you like slobber, because that boy will lick your face in order to ‘clean’ you and no matter how hard you struggle you won’t be able to get away from him. It’s gross. (He was honestly sooo embarrassed the first time this happened he wanted to crawl into a hole and die… AGAIN!) But once he’s decided that he’s either scented or groomed you well enough the rest of the time will be spent with him cuddled up to you purring. (His tail will also be thumping away)  

If you’re not home well he kinda just stands there for a hot sec before going to your room and wrapping himself with your things. Since he’s not really in the right mindset he’s really a pretty pathetic sight. Mans has abandonment issues so the poor boy is convinced his mate left him and he has no idea why. When you do finally come home you find your 6’3 boyfriend wrapped in blankets and bawling his eyes out. When he realizes you're there tho, he’s practically stumbling over himself to try and get to you. He will bury his face into the side of your neck and belgian profusely apologizing and begging you not to leave him. You will have to spend a lot of time calming him down and assuring him that you’re not going to leave him. Once you’ve calmed him down, lead him to the bed and cuddle the hell out of him! Boy deserves it. 

So side note: The half&half form is not a normal form werewolves have. On the night Jason was killed the Joker had injected him with a formula that kept him from shifting, but being desperate Jason tried anyway. Since the formula didn’t quite work he was left with only his ears and tail. When he was resurrected this was the form he took. He struggled a lot with controlling this form at first. If he got annoyed at the littlest of things he would lose control over his shifting and it would happen. It was extremely embarrassing. He honestly hates this form. It’s also not the best on his mental state given that it is an unnatural mix of wolf and man. Which explains his really weird behavior. 

Jason really trusts you. When he’s with you he’s allowed to be seen at his worst with no judgment or backlash. The fact that you not only deal with him when he gets like this, but also take care of him means the world to Jason. He hates himself for putting you in this position. I can’t even describe to you the self loathing he feels after an episode like this. No matter how long you two are together this is always going to be something that happens and Jason is scared that one day you’ll leave him for someone more normal. It takes a lot of reassurance and praise and love to make him feel better about the whole thing. Please just be there for him. He needs you. 

(Wow this turned depressing. My bad y’all I’ll do better next time. Maybe...) 

[scarsmood]

So, I’m looking to spice up my life. I’m kinda bored. I kinda want to fuck with my identity so I’m gonna do exactly that.

Presenting, can I force myself to identify as a great tailed grackle???

I dunno, thats why I wanna try. I’m more curious if I can unprompted by abuse, environment (since its stable atm), or mental illness (well thats hard to judge tbh). If I can just. Become a grackle.

Why? Because I want to push the boundary between voluntary and involuntary identities. I don’t exactly see why this distinction was so important back in the ye’ old days. I also think this should be fun.

Here’s my baseline emotions about grackles.

I saw them in childhood. Their native to my area.

I think they’re cute. They are pretty doofy

I’m not a huge super fan of birds but I did learn about birds in general for animal husbandry and have taken care of/ raised finches before.

Ravens and crows kinda freak me out so to a lesser extent so do grackles.

My methodology

Extensive research about grackles so I understand what I want to become. If I don’t fully understand what grackles mean to me I probably can’t be them either

Engaging in grackle behavior. Scream. Shit in parks. (I’m kidding. Unless I finally snap from college finals. In which case you can find me on news headlines) eat SEED. Eat small animals. I don’t know anything about grackles yet so idk grackle stuff

Art related to grackles. Good news! You know how I said I was making wooden wolves? Well I made a wooden grackle today to tackle this aspect. I’ll be trying to engage in a lot of art in how I interpret grackles/ try to incorporate grackles into my spiritual side as well.

Get myself excited about grackles. They gotta be cool. I to want to scream and eat garbage out of a parking lot.

Self Hypnosis. So this one isn’t a typical method. But i know hypnosis and fuck it why not. No one can stop me.

Journaling and incorporating grackleism into higher level aspects of myself. Like. Screaming is cool. But if this isn’t effecting me in all aspects like trauma, spirituality, emotions, how other alters see me, how i see myself. Its not gonna work. I have to basically reshape my own self philosophy and story to make myself a grackle.

Make a little nest :>

???profit???

Im going to journal about how it’s going on my blog with updates and such!

I’d love to hear what people think of my silly project. We’ll see how it goes!