#me: I mean I can get you a peanut butter banana on wheat if that makes you feel better

[adobe-outdesign]

Do you think the “give the legendary Pokemon a sandwich thing” would work to befriend other legendaries. imagine some kid convincing Mewtwo to stop loathing humanity because they gave him a ham and swiss on rye

[cutest-bunny-writings]

Hi Bunny!!!!

I just wanna say that I hear you with your food related rant. My bestie/sister is in the middle of getting allergy shots for the sole purpose of hopefully not having to be stuck for days in a hospital when we travel to Asia in a few years. All of her allergies developed when she hit puberty and when her family moved to a different base. Now, she is highly allergic to tree nuts and any and all fresh produce.

When people find out that she’s allergic to all fresh fruits and vegetables, they look at her so skeptically. As if she was lying. My biggest pet peeve is when people say that, “are you sure? Can’t you at least try?”. Bitch please, say it again around the anaphylactic reaction that’s gonna happen. You wanna pay her bills because she can’t live her life and go to work? Be my fucking guest.

All that to say, yes. Having allergies are the absolute worst and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Except if you are the Orange head. Then please, be allergic to everything and not make America regress, but I digress. 😬😬😬

My worst memories with food are at friends' birthday parties and family get-togethers.

"What do you mean she can't have royal icing? She looks fine to me!" - age 5, friend's mom

"Yeah right, she totally can't have red Hawaiian Punch specifically because of a red dye 'allergy'." <- age 7, my paternal aunt

"Has she even tried walnuts before? Her tongue itching is just what they do, it's normal." <- age 8.5, this lady was apparently blissfully unaware of symptoms of allergies, my friend's mom

"She can have another orange, it's fine." <- age 4, was not fine as I was allergic to excesses of citric acid and developed hives from the consumption of excess, my daycare caretaker

"She can eat the damn yogurt and bananas for breakfast, she's lying about throwing up." <- age 9, I have ARFID, my babysitter

These are all ones I can remember now but I know there's been more to the extent that some of my relatives would refer to me as "Little Jessica" in a whiny tone to basically shame me and my mom for flat out refusing to eat certain things. They would always blame her for eating the same few things and that obviously negatively affected how I eat.

Every fucking time someone tries to feed me something I know I can't eat until i read the ingredient label, I look at them and ask "do you want to be the one that has to explain to medical staff what caused the need for my stomach to be pumped or have an immediate administration of epinephrine? You'd also be paying for those bills you would cause. I need to know what's in EVERYTHING I consume, so tell what the fuck is in that thing you're trying to give me."

My favorite understanding person through all of this was my original babysitter's son, Tiny. I don't remember what his legal name is. He was like late teens/early 20's and he is still this big, hulking biker dude. The first time I met him, I thought he looked mountainous and could crush me with one step, but he turned out to be incredibly nice.

This man would go on whole entire grocery runs just to buy food that he knew I could eat. Wheat bread and organic peanut butter, chicken breasts, and so on.

He would let me sleep on him while we watched Scooby-Doo and his pitbull, Rizz (yes, that was really her name), would get so excited when I was over there.

I guess what I have to say with this is: you become isolated when you can't have the same things as everyone else, but when a small beacon of hope manifests itself, it's a relieving thing.

Everyone deserves to enjoy to food and love it.🌹🍽

[toastedside]

Banana Toast

Damian Wayne x Batmom! Reader

I was reading Super Sons the other day and this particular fic come into my mind right after. Just imagining the talk that come after sneaking out the night fighting Kid Amazo.

You watched Damian stepped out of the car with perpetual scowl on his face. He still wears his full armour Robin suit, with domino mask and all. You and Alfred had just picked him up from the Kent an hour ago after he snuck out for the night, roped Jon into an impromptu dangerous mission.

You suppressed a shiver. You didn’t want to imagine the worst, you had it all before. You were grateful that neither Jon nor Damian had suffered any lethal injuries. Few cuts here and there and probably a bruised shoulder, but nothing lethal.

Lois was livid when three of you had caught them climb up the window towards Jon’s room. You had been too, more so when you found out they were chasing after an Amazo wannabe and provoking Lex Luthor. Lois took all the shouting and scolding role that morning while you went full on injuries inspection and Alfred full on disappointed frown.

This is a mission where any one of them should have called their fathers. Jon argued that he tried to do so, but Damian was against the idea. It did not surprise you a little bit. If anything, you had always known the boy practically bleed for validation.

“In this kind of moment is the moment I truly believe that he is Master Bruce’s son,” Alfred’s voice came from behind. You whipped your head and smiled. “The utter stubbornness they both possess is astounding.”

“And their knack to make me worry is more or less the same.”

You found Damian fresh out of shower almost half an hour later, rummaged through the kitchen cabinet looking for some food. You silently watched him from behind, reading all of his body language from here. You knew he wasn’t exactly sorry about what he did, nor he feels the need to, but he was pretty pissed and awful with the consequence he brought after.

Or the reaction he received from others, for the lack thereof.

“Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to give me lectures too?” Damian asked without bother to turned around.

“Would you like some banana toast for breakfast?” You simply smiled as you went through the kitchen cabinet to grab some wheat bread.

“Banana toast?”

“Basically, it’s a toast with peanut butter and banana, add chocolate if you feel fancy,” you explained. “It’s a comfort food I invented during my college days. I eat it whenever I feel down or upset. You want some?”

Damian thought for a while. “Yes, please. That sounds good.”

You spent few minutes in silence as you put your comfort food on work. Damian sat behind on the chair watching you solemnly, probably went through hundreds of probable scenarios from this. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that he had always on high alert for a thirteen-year-old.

It gave you some time to think too. A part of you wanted nothing more but to yell to get the point across, but you also recognized that he had taken some blows from Lois before. Yelling to get the point across would be a contra productive thing to do where it would’ve done nothing but push him away further.

You were disappointed, nonetheless. A little betrayed at the fact that he had to snuck out and breach an agreement. And Damian didn’t try to look at you in the eyes, not even when you slid the warm toast towards him. Shame, probably, or guilt, you didn’t know.

“Damian, you do realize that you broke off an agreement with me and your father, right?” You started. Your voice was soft and calm, you tried your best to remain civil.

“I know,” his voice was firm. As if he had prepared for this inevitable conversation.

“May I know why?”

“Father hadn’t let me to go out for patrol with him!” Damian’s voice was thick with disappointment, a dash of anger, but surprisingly he didn’t raise his voice. “I just want to do good out there. I saved a family from their own demise tonight; you can’t blame me for that!”

“You do know exactly why your father didn’t let you go out for patrol with him. You’ve been ditching schools and is five assignments behind.”

“I don’t need school! It’s stupid! I already know the whole thing; I can easily have master degree by age seven!”

“I don’t doubt that a little bit. You’re indeed very smart. You can easily outsmart me and your father, even,” you nodded in acknowledgement. “But we need you to understand that school is not only for your academic learning, there are a lot of things to learn outside just knowing. Including gaining soft skills and build connections too. Befriend with someone your age.”

“I don’t do friends! Besides, isn’t that what superhero groups are? Isn’t me in Teen Titan enough?”

“Emphasize on the ‘someone your age’ a little bit more, darling. Most of the Titans are older than you. You don’t exactly call Starfire someone your age now, do you?” You smiled. “And you do friends. Jon is the living proof.”

Damian scowls a little bit. “We’re not friends.”

“That’s what your father says about Superman at first. Look at them now, attached by the hip if you ask me.”

Damian smiled slightly at that. Or anything that resemble a smile. He quietly munched on his banana toast, silently marveling at the taste and let the information sink in.

“We also need you to understand that your action last night, while outstanding in the field, still have consequences.”

“Am I grounded?”

“Yes.”

“Aren’t I already grounded for ditching school?”

“Doesn’t mean you’ll get out of this clean,” you said. Damian groaned. “No patrol for next two weeks, and you’re going to school. Catch up with your assignments.”

“Two weeks?” Damian screeched in protest. “That’s too long! What if–”

“Unless you are needed in the field out of immediate emergency, you are not allowed for patrol otherwise. I know you’re Robin, but you are also my and your father’s son. You live under our roof, and you go with the rules too. We’ve talked about this hundred times already and you were agreeing,” you pointed out. “I trust you, Damian. Your father trust you. And it would mean a lot for us if you able to maintain that. One of the ways is by not sneaking out in the night and fighting bunch of robots with your friend.”

“Right,” Damian muttered slowly, defeated. “I am sorry, Mom.”

“Apology accepted, darling. Now go finish your breakfast and catch some sleep. You can join me in the clinic this afternoon if you want to, you can bring Jon over if his parents allow him to.”

“Can I meet Peanut the clinic dog, then?”

“You can try to train her some tricks you taught Titus if you want to.”

Damian’s spirit seemed to be lifted up by the promise. He eagerly finished his breakfast and went straight to his room, this time to catch some sleep hopefully. You let out a relieved sigh, the conversation went better than you had anticipated. By the look Alfred sent you when you brought the empty plates over, you thought he was agreeing too.

Well, raising bunch of vigilante kids definitely never cross your mind, or even a life you expected to have. But looking back, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[6elladoll]

Tasty Snacks For Diabetics

Bella

If you are diabetic, you can still enjoy delicious snacks! Below I've gathered some options of snacks you can eat, if you're diabetic. These snacks have a low amount of sugar, but they are still tasty. Also, they contain natural sugars. Making snacks that have natural sugars in them is so much better for you than processed sugars. 

  Peanut Butter Banana Toast

Peanut Butter Banana Toast is actually a snack I would make during my high school years. I made it when I was craving something sweet to eat that's also healthy. This snack turned out to be really delicious! All you need is Peanut Butter, Bread, and half a banana. I would advise to use half a banana if you are only using one slice of toast. Toasted bread is much better to use for this snack. I enjoyed eating this snack because I was getting nutrition from the banana and peanut butter. Peanut butter has good fats called monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats. Most nuts like peanuts, cashews, and walnuts contain good fats. Also, peanut butter only has 3 grams of sugar in two tablespoons. Bananas’ have vitamins such as Vitamin C and Vitamin B-6. Most importantly, there are only 14 grams of sugar in an average size banana.

Traditional White and Whole Wheat bread have 1.5 grams of sugar. When I made this snack, I would use Whole Wheat bread, which came out delicious. However, it's good to read the nutrition labels since some brands can have more sugar. For example, Hawaiian rolls are typically sweeter breads. Sandwich bread is great to use for this snack. It is only three ingredients, and all you have to do is; Toast the bread, put one or two tablespoons of peanut butter, and cut some bananas on top of the toast! I adore this snack, and I find it sweet. It does an excellent job of fulfilling my cravings if I have a sweet tooth but don't want any processed sweets. This snack has at most 19 grams of sugar. At times I use Almond Butter instead of Peanut Butter. Almond Butter is a healthier alternative to peanut butter; it only has 0.7 grams of sugar in a tablespoon. 

Here is a link to a recipe that includes a picture of the snack:

https://www.eatingwell.com/recipe/261628/peanut-butter-banana-cinnamon-toast/

Dried Mangos is another snack I've enjoyed throughout the years. I purchase them from Whole Foods. One serving of these has about 30 grams of sugar. Eating this snack kind of reminds me of eating a fruit roll-up if it was mango-flavored. It has the consistency of chewy candy. I personally enjoy them at times. Also, it can be a healthy alternative to candy. It is also a healthy alternative to the mango if you are diabetic because it has been pressed and dried, which means fewer sugars are inside. Drying up a fruit reduces the sugar content inside.  

 Honey And Pretzels

If you've never dipped pretzels in honey, you are missing out. Sometimes I love mixing sweet with savory. The pretzels are savoring, and the honey is sweet. I've used regular pretzels and honey wheat pretzels for this snack. There are about 0.8 grams of sugar in an ounce of pretzels. One  tablespoon of honey is 17 grams of sugar. I recommend getting a good brand of honey that is not to processed because those tend to have higher grams of sugar. Food brands sold at the Farmer Market are very good choices.

Croissant and Justin's Chocolate Hazelnut and Almond Butter, Organic Cocoa

Chocolate spread on a croissant has totally grown on me! I first tried these in high school. When I'm craving them, I find a restaurant that sells them. However, you can make these right a home. If you are diabetic, choose the right brand that sells the spread. You can have this too and not worry too much about the sugar content as much. For example, the Justins' chocolate spread only has about 16 grams of sugar in one tablespoon. One tablespoon is all you probably need for a croissant. Plus, you can always get a small croissant. There are 6 grams of sugar in a medium-sized croissant. Toast the croissant and add the chocolate spread and wallah! You can even drizzle it on top of the toasted croissant and let it sit than some fruits to the side.

Strawberry and Cream Sponge Cake

Sponge cakes are actually a healthier alternative to regular cakes and less sugar. Most sponge cakes use whipped cream, which is an excellent alternative to icing because it has less sugar. This makes Strawberry and Cream Sponge Cake fulfilling and healthy a snack if you are diabetic. Below I posted a link to a recipe I found online. This link is for six servings. One serving is approximately going to be 7-10 grams of sugar. An appropriate portion of this can suffice your craving for a sweet snack!

https://www.thespruceeats.com/strawberry-and-cream-sponge-cake-recipe-435944

 Brie Cheese on Italian Crackers

This is the perfect savory snack. The Brie cheese and Italian crackers are the perfect combos. Brie cheese is soft, so you can spread it onto the crackers. You can always look for Italian crackers that are low in salt at the supermarket. It has very little sugar in it. You more so have to be mindful of the salt content in this snack. Brie cheese only has 0.6 grams of sugar. However, like most cheese and crackers, there can be more grams of salt. If you want to be keen on your salt intake, you can look over the nutrition label of certain brands.

[newtafterdark]

Taste of Metal - Chapter 8: A Lecture on Trespassers

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26157634/chapters/65517814

Summary: What if the overwhelming VR experience Gordon went through, had a deeper purpose than just being a simple simulation & a freelance debug job for him?

But most importantly- what if Gordon Freeman listens to Metal & used to be in a band? aka. the “Metalhead Gordon AU”

- - -

Gordon had to admit that it had been a while since he organized such a big breakfast. It brought his years at MIT back to mind where he and his roommates somehow collectively managed to keep each other on their feet, food included.

 But his worries over the possible mediocrity of what he, Dr Coomer and Bubby might have created - with him being the only one who had actual physical experience with cooking - went right out the window when he saw the looks of amazement and gratefulness at the table.

 Despite having said that he needed neither sleep nor food, Benrey had stacked his plate with a bit of everything that had been brought on the table. If he had been any other person, Gordon would have been concerned. But it was likely that everyone at the table either hadn’t had a proper meal in quite a while or had never had the chance to have one before.

 So when Benrey was carefully layering a pancake with ham, a fried egg, cheese and peanut butter, Gordon just watched with a soft amused smile. 

 Meanwhile, Tommy was losing his mind over the concept of Nutella-Banana toast.

“I-I can’t believe I missed out on this! They never had anything like this at the Black Mesa cafeteria!”

 Gordon chuckled.

 “Doesn’t surprise me, bud. But now you can have that every day if you want.”, he added with an assuring smile.

 Tommy nodded in excitement, already in the process of making another Nutella-covered toast, exchanging his left-over banana slices for Darnold’s strawberries.

 Darnold added the banana to his honey wheat cereal in thought, then looked up to meet Gordon’s gaze.

 “Apologies in advance for prying, Gordon… but I do have a question, If you don’t mind.”

 Gordon blinked over the edge of his mug, cutting the sip of hot cacao short.

 “Sure, man! What’s up?”

 “Well… I recalled your reaction from last night when Bubby talked about exploring the world outside. You seemed… alarmed. Why?”

 Gordon set his mug down, brows furrowed as he looked at his plate. He figured he’d have to tell the Science Team about the outside world eventually...

 “It isn’t as safe as you’d think, guys.”

 “No place is ‘safe’, Gordon.”, Bubby scoffed while cutting his omelette into bite-sized pieces.

 “I am aware, but this is… simulation levels of ‘not safe’.”, Gordon clarified.

 “What do you mean, Gordon? D-Do you guys had natural disasters recently? We understand! We can deal with stuff like that! No worries-”, Tommy threw in, but Gordon held up his hand. 

 “Let me… go get my laptop. I need you guys to know what’s going on.”

 With that said, Gordon got up and went into his bedroom, missing the confused glances the Science Team exchanged among each other. 

 When he returned, Gordon set up his projector and plugged the connection cable into his laptop. He let out a sigh, then opened a folder on his desktop.

 “Alright, welcome to class 101 of ‘Gordon explains what the fuck has been going on on Earth that shit’s fucked up outside’...”, he said, adjusting his glasses and getting into lecture mode. 

 He watched as the Science Team huddled closer to each other at the table, curiously looking at the projection on the wall… but still keeping at it with the breakfast. Gordon smiled softly before reminding himself of what he was doing. 

 “... August 10th, 2013. San Francisco. We thought it was a 7.1 earthquake at first. Bad enough to begin with… but then the video feeds and photos got to the news...”

 The Science Team watched with high attention as Gordon opened up a video file of a news recording. 

 The Golden Gate bridge was swinging dangerously in clear view- until the camera focused on something else.

 Something huge. 

 Something absolutely massive. 

 What emerged from the waters could only be described as a leviathan of a monster. It tore the bridge down with ease and almost instantly made its way towards the city, dragging itself through the water completely unphased by the military attacking it with comparably small aerial strikes. 

 “We called it “Trespasser” since it was the first of its kind we were forced to face.”, Gordon added, his voice sounding heavy with memories.

 The video ended and Gordon turned back, facing his friends. 

 Tommy had his hands covering his mouth in shock, Darnold was holding Sunkist oh-so-gently with horror in his eyes, Bubby was clawing at the table as he stared with wide eyes and even Dr Coomer sat there with concern in his face. 

 The last person Gordon expected to be shocked by this though, was Benrey, who looked positively mortified. 

 “Dude, w-what the FUCK?”, he managed to stutter out.

 “Y-You say it was the ‘first”? There were m-more?!”, Tommy asked.

 Gordon just nodded at that. 

 “The next one arrived 6 months later in Manila-”

 “Six months… that was barely time to rebuild the other city...”, Dr Coomer mused, more to himself than to the others.

 “Then came another one 4 months later in Cabo San Lucas-”

 “They were arriving faster???”, Bubby exclaimed with horror.

 Gordon nodded, pulling up pictures after pictures, playing videos to put emphasis on the seriousness of the whole ordeal. 

 “It was a disaster… We faced smaller ones than Trespasser occasionally… but the big ones got even bigger over time. We faced several each year until only recently. As you can imagine, Earth is still very much damaged in a lot of places because of this. Some areas are completely uninhabitable because of the acidic and poisonous nature of the Kaiju remains-”

 Benrey almost chocked on a piece of bacon-

 “You guys called them ‘Kaiju’??? Like, uh- Godzilla? Big Lizard???”

 Gordon let out a soft chuckle.

 “Yeah… one of the lead scientists behind the research of these beasts is a massive nerd. At first, he only called them that at work to differentiate the samples he got… then the names actually stuck over time in the official reports.”

 Coomer raised his hand.

 “Gordon, how did humanity fight these beasts? It looks like the military was once again absolutely useless!”

 Gordon clicked through his files, looking positively excited to show off whatever humanity's defence system had been- 

 “So, uhm, before I click play… basically humanity got together and formed the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps or PPDC for short. Within the PPDC was the research division… and that included the scientists and engineers who worked on these-”

 What the team saw next in the projection, made several of them gasp in excitement and astonishment.

 The video showed a dragon-like kaiju getting absolutely wrecked by what could only be described as a massive robot.

 “ARE YOU KIDDING ME???”, Bubby exclaimed.

 “Yooooo, what the fuuuuuuuck, man...”, Benrey added, holding his head in his hands, eyes still glued to the projection.

 “This… h-how-”, stammered Darnold, staring in awe.

 “Oh, that is quite the fine work of robotics, Gordon! Very sturdy by the looks of it!”, Dr Coomer observed, giving an approving nod, “So you used these to defeat the kaiju in one-on-one fights?”

 “Well, if we could, we had more Jaeger facing one Kaiju- and yes, my nerd buddy at the PPDC also named the class of the robots.”, Gordon clarified with a chuckle. 

 Tommy perked up at that.

 “That man is your friend, Gordon? Can we meet him?”

 “Well, I haven’t talked to Newton in quite some time… and not with Hermann either… I could e-mail them and ask where they’re stationed so we could meet and catch up? Heh… yeah, I should do that. Newt especially would love you guys!”

 Meanwhile, Bubby leaned back in his chair, arms crossed and glaring at the images still being projected.

 “So… the reason it’s dangerous outside is that these things could pop up anywhere at any moment?”, he asked.

 Gordon made a so-so motion with his hand. 

 “Not quite. The Breach, that’s what we called the portal to their world, was closed not too long ago… but we still deal with the damages and the toxic kaiju remains...”

 Gordon pulled up a photo of an entire coastline glowing in an unnatural blue in broad daylight. 

 “We call this ‘Kaiju Blue’... the closest comparison I could make is that it’s… like acidic oil-like blood. Basically don’t get near any of this at any point. Compared to it, the Green Sludge back in Black Mesa was just a glow-in-the-dark kiwi slushie.”

 That comment earned Gordon a few chuckles and amused huffs.

 “But yes… this is the main reason I want you all to be careful when we go outside. The PPDC still studies what the fuck this stuff can do to a human body… and I don’t want to find out what it might do to you guys. Just… no slurping the toxic alien juice, please?”, Gordon pleaded.

 To his surprise, the team gave him assuring nods.

 “Gordon, normally I would say that you’d be a party pooper… but since we’re all new to this terrifying information, be assured that we will listen. After all, you’re now the specialist!”, Dr Coomer said with a smile.

 Gordon’s tense shoulders relaxed at the reassurance. This was a welcome change from what he had been used to from the Science Team in the simulation.

 “Thanks, guys. I… I know this is a lot to take in- and please take your time to process it! - but I just… I needed you guys to be aware.”

 “Oh, it’s alright, Gordon! I-I think it will slowly sink in over a few days, right guys?”, Tommy asked, turning to the others at the table.

 “I’m already done processing… but we need your laptop for more research, Gordon. I want to know more details on that whole disaster before I take even one step outside.”, Bubby muttered before sipping on his now cold coffee.

 “Of course! And don’t be afraid to ask me about anything, related or unrelated to all this! Honestly, the more I can help with you guys being prepared for the outside world, the better I feel about our whole situation.”

 Gordon turned off the projector for the time being and sat back down at the table.

 “And, uh… thank you all for listening and letting me explain? I’m not used to that from you guys… but yeah, thanks.”, he said with a weak but grateful smile.

 Darnold reached over, putting a hand on his shoulder, while his other hand was still gently petting Sunkist. 

 “Hey, know that we’ll always listen to you from now on. The simulation was one thing… but this is reality. I think I speak for everyone when I say that while bantering with you is álways fun, we won’t push your buttons to a frustrating level anymore. Especially while you’re still recovering.”

 Gordon simply nodded at that, playing with the rim of his shirt. 

 Suddenly, he stood up once more, startling Darnold slightly.

 “Gordon, a-are you okay?”, the mixologist asked.

 Gordon nodded, looking quite serious all of the sudden.

 “I… I want you guys to meet someone.”

 Benrey visibly perked up.

 “Oh shit!- is it son time? Haven’t seen him around so… uh… road trip to go see Gordon Jr?”

 “I can’t wait to meet your son, Gordon!”, Dr Coomer chimed in.

 “W-Well, we don’t need to go anywhere to meet him… uhm… give me a second, I just need to go get my closet key-”

 “CLOSET KEY???”, gasped Tommy in shock.

 “TOMMY, DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT IT WILL MAKE SENSE IN A SECOND I SWEAR!”, Gordon yelled back while he was scrambling to find his keys.

 The entire team watched in a mix of judgement, curiosity and excitement as Gordon unlocked the storage closet that Benrey had sat on top of earlier that morning. 

 They saw his anxious expression completely melt away to make way for a loving gaze as he pulled out something orb-shaped from within the closet depths.

 A sleepy chirp-like sound suddenly emerged from what Gordon was holding.

 “Hey… ‘morning, bud. Dad’s finally back home...”, Gordon said with the most gentle voice any of the Science Team members had ever heard him speak with.

 Another chirp, this time a bit louder-

 “....dad? DAD! YOU’RE BACK!!!!”

 Suddenly the orb-shaped object launched itself out of Gordon’s arms and flew in rapid circles around him, making the man laugh. He reached out and pulled the orb out of the air, hugging it close. 

 “I am! Hey, uhm… dad brought some friends over. They are really excited to meet you. Do you want to go say hello to them?”, he asked gently. 

 The Science Team watched in anticipation as Gordon walked back to the table, arms wrapped protectively around something that was as big as volley-ball.

 Tommy gasped softly as he leaned over to get a better look.

 A small screen on the orb slowly came into view, displaying a curious little face consisting of numbers and symbols. 

 Two appendages, seemingly constructed in part out of computer mice, pulled the small being further up as it looked warily over Gordon’s arm at the Science Team.

 Gordon smiled proudly at the display of mutual curiosity. 

 “Everyone… meet Joshua.”

[fruit-teeth]

Matters of Time and Fate (8)

/(AHAHA FINALLY!! So sorry for the delay!! I know you guys probably thought I forgot about this story but I didn’t! Anyway I’m gonna shut up now, please enjoy)

Sniper woke up early that morning, and the first thought in his mind was that he wanted to make coffee. He’d had a rough, feverish sleep the previous night, and he needed to cleanse his mind with a cup of black coffee. Just the way he liked it.

As Sniper went to the kitchen and began to prepare coffee in the pot, he internally praised himself for waking up early before everyone else. Now he could have his coffee and he could make his breakfast in peace and quiet, without anyone –

“Are you making coffee?”

Sniper startled, turning around to see Olivia standing there. He fumbled for a moment, trying to think of how to answer.

“Uh…yeah, I am,”

Olivia hopped up on the chair beside the kitchen counter, looking over his shoulder. “Make a cup for me! I like milk and sugar in mine,”

Sniper processed this for a moment, before he looked back at Olivia, confusion in his eyes. “What? You want coffee?”

Olivia looked at him like he’d just asked a stupid question. “Yeah? I like coffee! My nanny makes some for me every morning, with milk and sugar,”

Sniper scoffed. “Really? I mean…” he scratched the back of his head. “You’re only six, should you really be drinking coffee?”

Olivia pursed her lips together. “My daddy says I can have it! He says everyone drinks it,”

“Well,” Sniper cleared his throat. “Six-year-olds don’t drink it. You know what I drank when I was six?”

When Olivia shook her head, Sniper replied, “Milkshakes, I used to drink them every morning. They’re not really that healthy, but I can show you how to make some,”

“Milkshakes?” Olivia thought about it, and then shrugged. “Okay. Can we put chocolate in it?”

Sniper just grinned at her. “I like your thinking! We can put whatever we want in them. You like peanut butter?”

Olivia nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah!”

“All right, all right,” Sniper laughed, opening a cabinet and getting out a jar of peanut butter, as well as some cocoa powder. “Let’s get started – pass me the blender, yeah?”

Meanwhile, Engineer was sleeping peacefully on his air mattress when he was rudely awoken by the loud whirring of a blender in the kitchen. He startled, stumbling to his feet in the direction of the noise.

“What in Sam Hill is all that racket!?” he snapped, hovering in the doorway.

Sniper looked up from where he was pulsing the blender. “Sorry, mate! We’re making milkshakes, blender’s real loud…”

Olivia stared at the mixture of peanut butter, vanilla ice cream, cocoa, and banana through the clear plastic of the blender. “Press the button again! It still looks lumpy…”

Sniper pressed the button, and the violent whirring struck right back up. Engineer flinched at the sound. “Gosh darn it! I should make a blender that’s real quiet – I probably could!”

The whirring died down again, and Olivia checked the milkshake again, frowning. “Still lumpy!”

Before Sniper could mash the button again, Engineer shooed him away from the blender. “Hey, y’know what? There’s some stuff we still need from the store, how about we take a little shopping trip and I can buy some more parts to build a quiet blender? Then you can put whatever you want in there without wakin’ the whole house,”

Sniper huffed. “Look, the milkshakes aren’t done! Gotta blend ‘em somehow,”

Engineer grabbed a wooden spoon and handed it to Sniper. “Use this! Do it the old fashioned way,”

Sniper rolled his eyes, but he took the spoon and poured the mixture into a bowl. He then stirred around a bit before it appeared edible, and then he poured it into two separate glasses. “Here ya go,”

Olivia took one of the glasses, eyeing it suspiciously before taking a sip. Sniper sat down at the table with his own glass, watching her. “Thoughts?”

Olivia thought for a moment, before nodding. “Good! It’s good,”

As she sat down and started to drink the rest of it, Engineer began cleaning out the blender, when a thought struck him. “Hey, Olivia – would you wanna go to the store with us? You can look around, it might be good to spend some time outside,”

“The store?” Olivia asked, blinking. Her father never took her shopping, they always had someone around who would just pick up groceries and other necessities for them. “To do what? Buy things?”

“Well, yeah,” Sniper shrugged. “That’s what the store is for. You could even look at some toys too, if you want,”

“Toys…” Olivia had never owned any toys. Her father always dismissed them as ‘childish’, and she’d done the same. But, she realized, he wasn’t around, now…

“Okay, I’ll go,” she agreed, and then reached for her glass of milkshake again. “But right after I finish this,”

Sniper just chuckled. “Yeah, of course…”

Upon waking, Scout could hear the sound of Engineer’s truck starting up from the driveway. Confused, he got out of bed and went downstairs, watching as Sniper got his shoes on by the door.

“Hey!” Scout barked, leaning over the railing of the stairs. “Where you guys goin’?”

Sniper glanced up from his shoes. “Oh, we’re gonna go to the shopping center. We just gotta pick up a couple things,”

Scout hopped down the stairs, fixing his hair and grabbing an apple from a bowl of fruit on the counter to eat. “Can I go? I’ve been dyin’ to get some extra clothes and stuff!”

“Sure, if you want,” Sniper shrugged. “How fast can you get ready?”

“So fast!” Scout took another big bite of the apple, turning on his heel to head upstairs. “I’ll be dressed before you know it – I’m a master at gettin’ ready quick!”

True to his word, Scout was in his day clothes within just a few minutes. He sprayed on his cologne and bounced back downstairs, only to see Olivia standing by the door.

Scout flinched, as he was still a bit wary around the girl. “…hi? Um, whatcha doing, kid?”

Olivia looked away, and Sniper clarified, “She’s coming with us, we’re gonna get her out of the house for a bit,”

“Wha…!?” Scout opened his mouth to argue, but when he saw Olivia staring back at him again, he thought better of himself. “Okay, fine…” he sighed. “Is Engie outside in the car?”

“Yep,” Sniper opened the door, ushering Olivia and Scout out of the house. “Let’s not keep him waiting,”

As soon as everyone was in the vehicle, Engineer started it up and began to head down the dirt path leading to the road. The sun was shining bright overhead, casting the sky in a brilliant blue.

Olivia watched as the hills rolled by through the windows of the truck. She’d never seen anything like it until now, and she thought it was very beautiful. The way the sun reflected off of the wheat in the fields and the grass looked like something out of a story book to her, and it made her feel something she had never felt before, some kind of longing deep within her soul…

Engineer switched the radio on to a country station, and Scout huffed. “Aw, come on! Seriously, Engie?”

“Hey, it ain’t my fault you don’t have taste,” Engineer replied simply.

Olivia tilted her head, listening to the music. “What’s this?”

“Country music,” Sniper answered. “Have you never heard country music before?”

“No,” Olivia shrugged. “It sounds like those weird movies my daddy used to watch,”

Scout’s brow furrowed. “What movies?”

Olivia searched for how to describe it. “Movies about these men with big hats and guns…cowboy movies! They’re called cowboys, I forgot,”

“Old westerns?” Engineer sounded surprised as he turned a corner, heading down into the town. “Your dad liked old westerns, Olivia?”

Olivia nodded. “Yeah, he watched them a lot while he did his work. I watched them only sometimes,” she remembered walking in during a scene where a sheriff was pointing his gun at a burglar, and how her father had paused his paperwork to point to the screen.

“Do you see that, Olivia?” he had asked. “We call that a ‘negotiation’,”

“But there’s a gun,” Olivia had pointed out. “And they aren’t really talking…”

“This is a last resort negotiation,” Gray went on to explain. “They actually are very good at getting what you want, you might find out,”

Olivia blinked, coming back to the present as she heard Scout talking again. “Huh!” he remarked. “Never took him for the type to watch those kinda movies, always thought he was more of…” Scout trailed off, glancing at Olivia and recalling what had happened the last time he made a snide remark about her father. “…never-mind.”

Olivia folded her arms back up and looked out the window, getting quiet again. The whole truck went silent aside from the music playing on the radio before Scout decided to at least try and make conversation.

“So, uh…” he cleared his throat, getting Olivia’s attention. “What are you hoping to find at the store, kid?”

Olivia just shrugged. “I don’t know,”

“You don’t know?” Scout asked, surprised. “Damn, whenever I went to the store as a kid, I always had a list of stuff I wanted to buy with my allowance. You can’t think of anything?”

“No,” Olivia shook her head. “I’ve never been shopping before,”

Scout’s eyes widened in alarm at that. “Never!? Damn, kid, what have you been doing your whole life? You know what? Here’s what we’re gonna do – I’m gonna show you what to do while at a store! I’m a pro, you’re gonna thank me later,”

“Don’t teach her anything stupid,” Sniper warned. “We don’t wanna get her in trouble,”

Scout waved him off. “Aw, come on! It’s gonna be fun, I promise,”

They finally arrived at the shopping plaza, a place Olivia had never seen before. As Engineer parked, Olivia stepped out and looked up at the buildings with awe. “Wow! There’s so many stores!”

“I know, right?” Scout got out after her, before turning to look at Engie. “Where to first, hardhat?

Engineer pulled out a list, checking it. “Well, let’s see…we need parts for the new blender, some extra snacks, and then whatever else we think we might need,”

Sniper pointed out a hardware store nearby. “How about there first? That looks like it’d have blender parts,”

As they walked in, Engineer turned to Olivia and Scout. “We’re gonna look at some parts, you two look around. Scout?” his tone changed to one more serious. “Keep her outta trouble, okay? I mean it,”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Scout waved him off, before gesturing for Olivia to follow him. “C’mon, kid! Let’s have an adventure,”

Olivia trailed after him, curious over what ‘adventure’ this store could have to offer. They wandered around a bit, before Scout paused. “Ooh, okay! Take a look!”

“What?” Olivia looked to where he was pointing, and she gasped a little. Sitting several feet away were a line of model bathrooms, complete with their own bathtubs and showers. “What is that? Are those real bathrooms?”

“Nope!” Scout grinned, approaching one and running his hand over the sink. “They’re models – if you wanna buy a bathroom, or make one, or whatever, these are models you can follow, pretty much,”

“Oh!” Olivia approached it, fascinated, leaning over to look in the tub. She turned the levers, but no water came out. “There’s no water!”

“Yeah, it ain’t hooked up,” Scout explained, checking the cabinets. “Aw, sweet! Someone left something in here!” he fished it out, only to make a face. “Ugh, never-mind. It’s someone’s stupid pamphlet thing from…the ‘Sculptor’s Clayground’? Huh,”

Olivia wandered over to another model, seeing a beautiful clawfoot tub. All of the sudden, she had the urge to climb into it, and without thinking about it she clambered inside sat down.

Scout noticed, and he laughed, leaning in to look. “There ya go! I wonder if you could hide in here…you’re small enough, ain’t ya?”

Olivia made herself as small as possible, but she suddenly laughed, imagining surprising someone like this by hiding in the tub. She’d never considered doing something like that before, but it felt very exciting somehow.

Before Scout could see if she could fit in another model tub, a voice from several feet away barked, “Hey! What are you doing!?”

Olivia sat up in time to see a woman in an employee’s uniform walking up to them, and Scout immediately became defensive. “Hey, hey, we’re just playin’ around, lady!”

“I’ll say,” the woman sighed, gesturing for Scout and Olivia to leave. “This isn’t a playground. Please just take your daughter and move along,”

Olivia paused, looking to Scout in confusion. “Daughter?”

Scout’s eyes widened, and he suddenly appeared offended, scooping Olivia up and setting her down. “I am not her dad!” he exclaimed, before taking Olivia’s hand and briskly leading her away from the models, leaving the employee very confused.

[calorieworkouts]

4 simple recovery methods this running pro swears by

As component of our thorough collection United States of Running, we teamed up with Flow Water-- the normally alkaline Canadian spring water-- to bring you a peek into just how running superstars obtain motivated, keep focus, as well as stay moisturized for every mile. Ready, set, go.

When you dedicate to running a long-distance race like a half marathon (or even additionally, you overachiever), you do not simply leap right in. You spend weeks, also months, educating your body to go the range.

But just as the training leading up to your big run is very important, so is the recovery process. As well as if you believe long-run recovery just involves a few stretches and a self-congratulatory beverage (which, yes, you entirely deserve a post-race sparkling), reconsider.

" Healing aids you to avoid injuries and also to prepare for your following tough exercise."

" Finishing a lengthy training run or running a distance race can be hard on your body," says health and fitness blog owner Evann Clingan. "Recovery assists you to avoid injuries and to get ready for your following challenging workout." And also she ought to recognize: The endorphin buff has actually been an enthusiastic jogger for years, and also chronicles her training adventures on Instagram.

Clingan's initial marathon was at Disney Globe-- yes, one of the most wonderful location on earth. "It was amazing going through the various parks, as well as I just got connected," she claims. Since running that initial 26.2, Clingan made it her goal to not just finish races, but to take a trip to cool locations like Austin as well as Vancouver to do so. " It's a wonderful means to check out various areas I've always intended to go to,' she explains. (Healthy and balanced vacay hack sharp!)

Recovering while away from home can make the procedure a lot more tough, so Clingan jobs sightseeing into her regular to flush out lactic acid-- or the bug that causes muscle discomfort-- out of her legs. But if you have to return to fact, try using compression socks or tights to boost flow as well as decrease lactic acid during the trip home, Clingan suggests.

Her biggest item of advice? "In any case, you must continue to drink water to rehydrate and also restore electrolytes.' Consume up.

Whether you're going out of community for a big race or just going with a long term around your neighborhood, check out Clingan's best healing ideas below.

Step 1: Hydrate

Immediately after your run, it's clever to start renewing electrolytes that were shed. "I lug around water with me to help rehydrate throughout the remainder of the day," Clingan claims. Her favorite? "Flow Water is an excellent selection for recovery because it includes electrolytes as well as has an alkaline pH of 8.1, which maintain acid degrees in line," Clingan suggests. "And also, it's additionally very pure since it's normally filteringed system, that makes it taste fantastic."

Step 2: Grab a snack

Even if you're not starving right after crossing the goal, it's still time to obtain a bite. Clingan goes for a snack that has a 4-to-1 proportion of carbs to healthy protein within half an hour after a run. "My go-to is a whole wheat bagel with banana and also peanut butter."

Step 3: Foam Roll

" While it could not always feel good, foam rolling is a wonderful means to loosen knots and rigidity in your legs post-run," she claims. Her choice is the Roll Recovery 8 to exercise kinks and also massage therapy her stems after striking the pavement.

Step 4: Get quality shut-eye

" Numerous individuals view sleep as a luxury, but it's important for runner to get adequate remainder for the body to absolutely recoup," Clingan claims. According to the running expert, stinting rest can also have advancing impacts on efficiency-- as well as specialists have actually recommended runners get a few hrs of extra slumber for 3 to four evenings post-run. Time to begin dreaming concerning your following large race.

In partnership with Flow Water

[alleyjeffery-blog1]

Day Two

For breakfast today I ate approximately one cup of strawberry yoghurt, one banana, and a piece of whole wheat toast with peanut butter. If you noticed, this is the exact same thing that I ate yesterday. I tried to switch things up by slicing my banana and putting it on my toast. I decided to wait until 10 to eat breakfast today so that I wouldn’t feel so hungry between breakfast and lunch. This strategy seemed to work pretty well. I tried to keep myself busy so that my focus would be on anything but good. I cleaned my house, played with my dog, and did some homework. I have definitely noticed that this new diet has had an impact on my memory and attention as I lost my phone today. I found it two hours later on the sidewalk at my brother in laws house (it fell out of my pocket). I don’t remember the last time something like that happened to me. 

For lunch I ate my left over spaghetti from yesterday’s dinner. I am already sick of the food that I am eating and I know that I still have 5 more days. When your budget is only $21 for a week, you don’t get much variety in your diet. 

Today I worked at the hospital from 1-9, meaning that I was supposed to pack a lunch. I was in a rush so I grabbed my can of chicken noodle soup only to realize that we don’t have a can opener at work. Since I couldn’t buy dinner, I had to wait until I got home to eat. As you can imagine, I was beyond hungry at this point. My soup was pretty good, but not as filling as I wanted it to be. I had a piece of plain toast after to help fill my stomach. 

I decided to look up some information regarding access to free food for those who are in need in Red Deer. The Red Deer Food Bank Society provides a phone number that people can use to request food. The process seems relatively easy: call the hamper request line to speak to an intake worker, provide personal information (income and number of people in the household), the food bank will determine individual needs, arrange a pick up time, and pick up your food at the warehouse. One of there mission statements is “we believe that access to proper nutrition is a fundamental human right” (Red Deer Food Society, 2018). I agree that every human should have access to healthy food, despite what there income is. Other charities in Red Deer such as The Mustard Seed and The Salvation Army help those in poverty by providing meals as well. It is nice to see that there are other resources available for those experiencing hunger. Although, I imagine that it is more difficult than people may realize to ask for help when you are struggling. As humans, we want to show people that we can provide for ourselves and our families and it is often our last resort asking for assistance from others. I think that I would have a hard time reaching out to ask for help, but if I needed too I would.

According to the Food Aid Foundation (n.d.) “around 795 million people in the world do not have enough food to lead a healthy active life”, this works out to 1/9 people in the world. That is a relatively significant number. My goal for this year is to volunteer for at least one of the previously mentioned charity organizations to help reduce that hunger in our city.

Food Aid Foundation. (n.d.). World hunger statistics. Retrieved from https://www.foodaidfoundation.org/world-hunger-statistics.html

Red Deer Food Bank Society. (2018). Red Deer food bank society. Retrieved from https://reddeerfoodbank.com/

[consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis]

57 Easy Gluten Free Recipes for Summer Picnics and Potlucks

New blog post! Now that the weather is finally (sloooowly) warming up and holidays like Memorial Day and Fourth of July are right around the corner, I know that summer picnics and potlucks are just as close. But when you have celiac disease or dietary restrictions, summer entertaining can feel a little more complicated.

That's why this year, I thought I'd scope out some of the best gluten free recipes for summer picnics and potlucks. Whether you're looking for healthy appetizers, gluten free lunches fit for a picnic or easy paleo desserts, this round up should give you some delicious ideas. Not to mention, it should make bringing a yummy and gluten free dish to every summer get-together a whole lot easier!

Gluten Free Sides

1. Bacon Cheddar Jalapeno Cornbread (Nut Free, Refined Sugar Free) - Raia's Recipes  

Trust me. If you show up with gluten free bread at a summer potluck, you're gonna be the life (or at least the taste buds) of the party.

2. Easy Potato Salad with Egg - Bubba Pie

Give your potato salad an extra boost of protein with hardboiled eggs.

3. Hawaiian Macaroni Salad (Vegan, Soy Free) - Spabettie

Pineapple, vegan mayo, sweet pickles and pickled carrots give this macaroni salad a unique, Hawaiian twist.

4. Broccoli Apple Slaw - Noshtastic

Change up the traditional cabbage slaw recipe by using broccoli and apple instead!

5. Creamy Pea Salad - Recipes From a Pantry

If you're looking for a seriously easy low carb side dish that is still sure to peas (ahem...please) a crowd...this is it! All you need to make it are fresh (or frozen!) peas, bacon, cheese and a few other ingredients for the sour cream dressing.

6. Black Bean and Corn Salad with Balsamic Vinegar (Dairy Free) - The Welcoming Table

Add grilled chicken or pork to make this gluten free salad a meal, or serve it as a side dish or dip!

7. German Cucumber Salad - Casserole Crissy

For any gardeners out there, this is the perfect recipe to use up any leftover cucumbers.

8. Asian-Inspired Sesame Cilantro Carrot Salad (Paleo and Vegetarian) - Natasha, The Artisan Life

Even carrot haters will be won over by the Asian flavors in this gluten free salad dressing.

9. Bone Broth Pesto (Nut Free) - Casey the College Celiac

Enjoy the creamy, tanginess of pesto with the added protein and nutritional benefits of bone broth. Serve with veggies, gluten free crackers or roasted sweet potato rounds (which are also included in the linked recipe above)! 

10. Watermelon Mint Salad with/out Feta (Dairy Free Option) - Finding Zest

Who knew that watermelon and balsamic vinegar made such a tasty pair?

11. White Bean Salad (Vegan, Soy-Free, Nut-Free) - Happy Healthy Mama

Fresh basil, cherry tomatoes, avocado and lemon juice turn plain white beans into a side salad everyone will be digging into.

12. Zucchini Roll-Ups (Vegan, Paleo) - Claudia Canu 

These roll-ups are super simple to make but that doesn't make this combo of veggies and gluten free hummus any less delicious!

13. Goat Cheese Cucumber Bites (Keto, Low Carb) - The Keto Option

Gluten free Everything But the Bagel Seasoning dresses up these mini goat cheese and cucumber sandwiches.

14. Creamy Sweet Potato Salad (Paleo) - Cathy's Gluten Free

Is there any occasions sweet potatoes aren't perfect for?!? I don't think so...

15. Focaccia with Olives, Sundried Tomato & Rosemary (Grain Free, Paleo, Refined Sugar Free) - Emma Eats and Explores

Like I said before...you seriously can't go wrong with bringing homemade gluten free bread.

16. 5-Minute Guacamole (Vegan, Keto, Paleo, Oil-free, Whole 30) - Veg Annie

Homemade salsa gives this homemade guac an extra kick of freshness and flavor.

17. Mexican Street Corn - Confessions of a Fit Foodie

Like corn on the cob, only a lot tastier and less messy to eat!

18. Spicy Mango Dip (Vegan) - Fun Food Frolic

Serve this gluten free and vegan dip with some gf bread or pita, and it'll disappear in no time. You can whip it up in 15, minutes, too!

19. Easy Tuna Spread - Goodnesst 

This gluten free spread only requires three ingredients, five minutes to make and is delicious when served with crackers, veggies or tossed in a salad.

20. Red Potato Salad with Avocado and Egg - Attainable Sustainable

Typical potato salad gets an upgrade with some healthy fats from avocado in this gluten free side dish.

21. Curried Cauliflower Mac and Cheese (Vegan) - Casey the College Celiac

If you want to add some hidden veggies to a family classic, you'll love my curried cauliflower mac and cheese, which only takes five ingredients to make.

Gluten Free Mains

22. Avocado, Asparagus and Chicken Salad (Paleo, Mayo Free) - Tasting Page

If mayo ain't your thang, you'll love this paleo chicken salad, which gets its creaminess from avocado and a homemade dressing.

23. Corn and Zucchini Pie - A Simple Pantry

If a quiche and a frittata had a baby, this would be it. Plus, this cheesy pie only takes an hour - including 45 minutes of it doing its thang in the oven - to make.

24. Melon Mozzarella Prosciutto Salad with Arugula - Taste and See

Combine classic Italian ingredients with a traditional Caprese salad, and you end up with an ideal summer entertaining dish.

25. Grilled Balsamic Lamb Kabobs - Foodal

I'll admit, I've never tried lamb before, but these kabobs would definitely have me digging in.

26. Quinoa Tabbouleh Salad - Spice Cravings

Traditionally, tabbouleh salad is a Middle Eastern vegetarian salad featuring ingredients like parsley, mint, Bulgar wheat, tomatoes, onion, cucumber and a lemon dressing. This gluten free version replaces the bulgar wheat with quinoa, which not only makes it allergy friendly but also packed with extra protein!

27. Zesty Smashed Chickpea Salad Sandwich (Vegan) - Moon and Spoon and Yum

The best kind of sandwiches have a mix of different textures and flavors...and this smashed chickpea salad has ALL the flavor punches you're looking for.

28. Southwest Quinoa Salad (Dairy-Free Option) - Mama Knows Gluten Free

You can't go wrong with a bowl of quinoa dressed up with avocados, black bean, corn, grape tomatoes, mozzarella and a cilantro honey lime dressing.

29. Shrimp Pasta Salad - Hot Pan Kitchen

Olives and sun-dried tomatoes give this cold gluten free salad an extra boost of flavor.

30. Spanish Waldorf Salad - Zestful Kitchen

This Spanish twist on a classic Waldorf salad complements a variety of different meals, and you can prepare all of the different ingredients ahead of the time.

31. Easy Cheesy Loaded Cauliflower Casserole (Low Carb) - Wholesome Yum

This gluten free casserole has all the flavors of a baked potato, minus the carbs. And you can't go wrong with bacon!

32. Tuscan Pasta Salad (Nut Free, Egg Free) - Meaningful Eats

Just 'cause you're gluten free doesn't mean you can't enjoy a very delicious pasta salad on a pretty summer day.

33. Cauliflower Salad (Vegan, Low Carb, Keto) - Cooking Journey

Cauliflower just got a very tasty upgrade with this easy, raw salad recipe.

34. Easy Cucumber Tomato Feta Salad (Vegetarian) - Mom Foodie

You can't go wrong with a classic...

35. Kale Quinoa Salad + Cider Vinegarette - Pass Me Some Tasty

Make sure you use gluten free cranberries and walnuts, and the sweet and savory mix of flavors will be a major winner in this salad.

36. Chickpea Thai Quinoa Salad with Peanut Dressing - V Nutrition and Wellness

Add a creamy peanut sauce to a salad with quinoa, chickpeas, carrots, cabbage and cilantro and you have a Thai feast tastier than any take-out.

37. Prawn & Avocado Salad (Whole 30, Paleo) - Recipe This

If you know Whole 30 or paleo diners will be at your summer picnic, this salad is sure to be a hit.

38. Broccoli Salad with Bacon (Keto, Low Carb) - Whole Lotta Yum

Broccoli has never looked so good...

39. Sweet Potato Black Bean Burger (Vegan) - Evolving Table

This black bean quinoa burger only takes an hour to make and is easy to personalize for whatever beans, sweet potatoes or spices you have on hand. 

40. The Best Homemade Chicken Salad (Paleo, Keto, Whole 30) - The Organic Chicken

Serve this salad on greens, gluten free bread or even half an avocado.

41. Loaded Potato Wedge Nachos (Paleo, Vegan Options) - Casey the College Celiac

'Cause who wouldn't want to dive into a plate of nachos on a beautiful summer day...especially when the base is fluffy roasted potato wedges?!?

Gluten Free Desserts

42. Paleo Strawberry Rhubarb Pie (Low Carb) - The Banana Diaries

I don't know about you, but I will always say yes to a slice of gluten free pie!

43. No Bake Peach Cheesecake Bites (Vegan) - Delightful Adventures

Make sure you use gluten free oats and almonds, and you'll have one heck of a tasty gluten free dessert.

44. Chewy Pumpkin Popcorn Balls (Vegan) - Casey the College Celiac

There's something crazy addictive about that sweet and salty combo. 

45. Pink Lemonade Cupcakes - Fearless Dining

Because is there anything more summer-y than pink lemonade anything?!?

46. Red, White & Blueberry Shortcake Parfaits (Paleo) - Living Loving Paleo

No one will believe that you whipped up these paleo shortcakes from almond flour and a handful of other ingredients you threw in your food processor!

47. Avocado Brownies (Vegan) - Vibrant Guide

Even avocado haters won't be able to get over how thick and fudgy these brownies are...

48. Cream Cheese Pound Cake (Low Carb, Keto) - Fit to Serve Group

Who says you can't eat a keto or low carb diet and eat cake too?!? 

49. Scotcharoos - My Gluten-Free Kitchen

Gluten free puffed rice cereal, peanut butter, chocolate and butterscotch combine into one heck of a tasty no-bake bar.

50. Oatmeal Creme Pies - Hunny I'm Home

Chewy gluten free oatmeal cookies + delicious buttercream icing = dessert heaven.

51. Orange Cake with Almond Meal (Dairy Free) - The Foodie Journey

This cake is only made with a few ingredients and can be prepped to bake in just 10 minutes!

52. Blueberry Muffins (Vegan) - Rhian's Recipes

You can't go wrong with a fluffy blueberry muffin, especially when it's gluten free, vegan and only takes 35 minutes to bake! Plus, there are tons of ingredient options and swaps, so you can probably whip up these muffins with whatever is already in your pantry.

53. S'mores Ice Cream Cake (Vegan) - Pink Fortitude

Ummm...a gluten free and vegan ice cream cake?!? I don't think I need to say anymore...

54. Chocolate, Beetroot & Raspberry Cupcakes - Attachment Mummy 

In case you want to sneak a few veggies into your gluten free dessert.

55. No Bake Cheesecake (Keto, Low Carb) - Low Carb Yum

You can't beat a no-bake cheesecake base topped with fresh summer berries.  

56. Chocolate Chip Coffee Cookies - Think About Such Things

Chocolate chip cookies just got a caffeinated twist! 

57. Blueberry Lemon Bundt Cake (Dairy Free) - Allergy Free Alaska 

I was sold at blueberries...

What I Hope You Remember During This Summer's Potlucks, Picnics and Parties

I know that when you have celiac disease or food allergies, the words "picnic" or "potluck" can cause more fear than excitement. But rest assured - as long as you use one of these gluten free recipes for guidance, you know you'll have at least one delicious meal you can happily enjoy. What are your favorite summer meals or recipes? Tell me in the comments! via Blogger http://bit.ly/2E6xmYR

[mrsmamarhodey]

Gentle Tummy Masterpost

Since we're in tummy-flu season, I figured I'd put together a list of food ideas that are easy on angry systems. Please let me know what you think, or if you have some you want me to add!

Grains:

Polenta: corn grits, also called hominy. They're a staple of Italian and Latin and South American cooking. Eat plain, with maple syrup, or top with soft veggies.

Rice: a worldwide and versatile staple, white is the easiest on sensitive bellies. Eat plain, or as a bowl base for a whole bunch of veggies.

Rice noodles: typically Asian-style, these noodles are made with rice flour instead of the European wheat. Use as bowl bases, in stir fry, or in soup.

Oatmeal: a classic Sick Day food, dress it up with a little bit of maple syrup and bananas, and raspberries if you aren't someone that acid hurts.

Liquids: very very important! Staying hydrated means happy bells and a happy immune system. Here are some of the best.

Veggie broth: good to drink plain or as a base for a more complex soup, you can make your own, purchase concentrate, or purchase it ready-to-use, depending on your dedication and time.

Mushroom broth: a little bit richer and heavier than veggie broth, it used most often in Asian and central European cooking, I find. *May not be a great option if you have IBS or other digestive disorder.

Hot tea!: stick with herbals, they're easiest for your body to process, and don't contain the tannins that tea leaves do. Add honey and lemon juice for sore throats.

Water: a no-brainer. Just drink it. Jazz it up with lemon, mint, and cucumber if that floats your boat.

Mild Juices: try Carrot, Aloe Vera, Cucumber, and Pear juices, they're lower in acid and easier to digest.

Proteins: a lot of heavy meats and other animal products can be difficult to digest, and should be chosen based on how you're feeling, and if necessary, what your doctor recommends. Bear that in mind in this section.

Eggs: egg whites are a very good source of protein, while the yolks are high in fats. Mix and match as you see fit and necessary.

Creamy nut butters: sunflower, peanut, almond, and walnut can all be good options in small quantities. Remember though, these all are naturally high in oils, and can upset your tummy if you overload on them.

Tofu: I am a huge fan of compressed soybean curd. It can be very person-specific though, so try it in small doses.

White fish and chicken: light, bland meats in small portions work relatively well. Don't try to over-season them, and know your portion limits.

Fruits: general rule of thumb, stay away from citrus, other than lemon and lime in your water or as dressing.

Bananas: part of the B.R.A.T. diet, and good for everything. Period cramps, upset tummies, migraines, muscle soreness, and a bunch of other things too.

Apple sauce: lower in acid and fiber, it's even easier on your stomach than whole apples. Also part of the B.R.A.T. diet.

Apples: for people who can process fiber, apples are a great resource. Peeling them is also a positive when you can.

Veggies: look for foods with soluble fibers, and glossy colouring. Also, assume that all of these need to be cooked.

Eggplants: if they're adults, make sure you salt and rest them before cooking to keep them from getting bitter.

Carrots: good for sweet, good for savory, good for sauteing, baking, simmering, steaming, juicing, or anything else you can think of.

Spinach: wilt spinach down, but don't overcook it, it'll get slimy. Splash with a little lemon juice and some salt.

Kale, chard, bok choy: higher in fiber than spinach,and used the same way, it can be good wilted.

Sweet potatoes/regular potatoes: bake and eat plain, they do carry flavor on their own. They can also be used as starts for homemade pasta.

Squash: this includes butternut, acorn, spaghetti, and pumpkins. These are all able to be roasted, cut in half from top to bottom, place cut side down on a baking dish, and cover with about half an inch of water, then foil over the top. Bake at about 400℉ for roughly an hour, or look up specific instructions based on your type of squash. Also, don't eat the skin.

Herbs: not many spices are going to be safe for upset tummies, they're too astringent and pungent.

Basil

Coriander

Ginger

Lemongrass

Marjoram

Mint

Oregano

Parsley

Rosemary

Thyme

If this is helpful for you all, I'd be happy to do example recipes from items on this list. And as always, let me know if I get anything wrong, or I need to add anything!

[langblr-o-kebek]

How to feed yourself cheaply when you live alone

It can be so frustrating and difficult to get used to living by yourself. Apparently cabinets don’t come magically stocked with spices and you have to buy things??? with money???? So here’s a few things I’ve learned along the way along with some links to other great posts that have information along this subject too.

1. Secretly assassinate a relative and collect inheritance

2. Find a sugar daddy

If 1 and 2 are options then the rest of this post is worthless to you, if they are not options, keep reading.

Your first visit to the grocery store Buckle up because it’s going to be the most expensive one

You need to stock your kitchen since you are not a roach and can’t just eat the wooden cabinets. Every kitchen should have some combination of the “basics” which will be your non-perishable pantry items-those things that your parents house seemingly never runs out of. 

The Basics

-Rice -Pasta (+any other grains you might like such as couscous, wheat berries etc.) -Flour -Sugar -Brown sugar (if you’re into baking like I am) -Baking Soda -Baking powder -Spices (for example, cumin, cayenne, oregano, basil, paprika, etc.) -Salt and pepper -Oats -Boullion or cans of stock -Cans of soup/packets of ramen -Coffee/tea

I suggest you buy these kinds of items in bulk if possible. If you have the space to store them, they will last you forever and items like these can make a meal that is supposed to be 1-2 servings into somethings thats 4-6 which I’ll explain later. Also, buying in bulk is cheaper per pound/100 grams (whatever system you’re using) so in the long run, you’ll save lots of money by buying one fat ass sack of rice a year instead of 15 every few weeks. Check your area for bulk stores, places that sell spices and grains by the weight. This will save you cash and can be more eco-friendly if you’re able to use your own bags/containers.

Tips for meals

It is so much cheaper to cook a larger amount of food at a time than making something for each individual meal. This is because for the most part, you can’t buy ingredients sufficient for one serving at the grocery store and you don’t want to buy something you’ll only use once and then the rest goes bad and bye-bye money. Making a meal that will last you 3-4 days is not only cheaper, but also saves time since after the initial cooking, all you have to do is reheat a little at a time later. You can take this a step further and use grains like rice, pasta and couscous to “cut” the food thereby doubling the amount of servings you have. Below are some really easy recipes that I use that last me days.

Things you can make at home for cheap

HUMMUS! Bc it’s a great snack, filling, healthy and is stupid expensive at the store and stupid cheap and easy to make.

-1 can of garbanzo beans -2 T of tahini (you can leave this out if you want, tahini can be expensive) -1 T lemon juice -1 clove of garlic, minced -Cumin, paprika, salt, pepper

Literally throw it all in a food processor and blend. If it’s too thick, you can add more olive oil or save some of the water from the beans and add that as well. If you do that, less salt will need to be added. If you use dried beans that you’ve soaked and shit you will need more salt.

If you don’t have a food processor, you can heat the beans up and smash it by hand, it’s more effort and it may be chunkier but it works. Same goes for immersion blenders.

Fun ways to shake this hummus up

-Roasted Red pepper: Chop 1/3 C of roasted red pepper and add. Replace some of the olive oil with some of the juice from the pepper jar.

-Roasted Garlic: Instead of mincing a garlic clove, expose the head of the garlic (lol) and rub with a little olive oil, making sure it gets into the cracks (lol). Wrap in foil and roast at 400 degrees (~200 C) for 30-35 minutes. Garlic should be nice and soft when it’s done. Roasted garlic is sweet instead of biting like raw garlic so using a whole head is okay and you won’t die when you eat it.

-Artichoke heart+black olive: Chop up one can of artichoke hearts with however many chopped black olives as you would like

-Pesto: Add in at least one tablespoon of pesto

Now the question is, how do I eat my hummus and the answer is, there’s actually a billion ways

-Put it on a sandwich or wrap! -Dip celery, cucumber, carrots, peppers in it! -Eat it with pretzels or tortilla chips OR if you’re a cheap bastard like me, make your own tortilla chips by cutting up some tortilla rounds, brushing them with olive oil, sprinkling them with salt and bake at 350 for 10ish minutes. I usually put mine into the oven right when I turn it on and pull them out when the oven is preheated bc I can’t be bothered to actually figure out a proper cooking time. Whatever, this is way cheaper than buying chips and they’re more filling. You can also make tortillas, it’s cheap and simple, I find they taste better, but it is slightly time consuming. Here’s a recipe. -Eat it with a spoon wgaf you live alone no judgement.

Coffee Creamer

Hell yes you can make this at home. The basic is about 1 3/4 cup of milk (whatever kind of milk, the more fat in the milk the creamier the creamer) and 14oz of sweetened condensed milk. You can also add in a few drops of any sort of extract/honey or some sprinkles of cinnamon/nutmeg whatever suits your fancy! Here is a bunch of variations. Also put 1/4 of a teaspoon of cinnamon per cup of coffee in with your coffee grounds in the filter for a cinnamon scented coffee.

Popcorn

Well, we all knew this one. But honest to god it is so much cheaper and healthier to pop popcorn using a bag of kernels than it is to buy a box of microwave popcorn. Just pour some oil and a tablespoon of butter into a large pan, add the popcorn and cook covered over medium heat. As soon as the kernels start to pop make sure you start jiggling the pan to keep them moving so they don’t burn and ruin your pan. I’m pretty sure you can put the kernels in a paper bag in the microwave too. Throw salt on it, or even cinnamon and sugar cuz why not.

RULES FOR GROCERY SHOPPING

1. buying in bulk saves

2. Don’t buy in bulk if you can’t use it all before it expires-like yeast! Most expiration dates are pretty generous and you can actually continue using the product beyond the date (this amount of time varies, please for your own safety please google it). Yeast is the only food I know of that is true to its expiration.

3. Avoid superstores when possible. Most of the time, you’re paying for the convenience. Superstores are often more expensive because you’re paying for the convenience of doing all your shopping in one place. 

4. Ethnic markets are almost always cheaper-especially for trendy things like Coconut oil (so cheap at indian food markets!!) Find Chinese, Arabic, Indian, Mexican food markets around you and split up your shopping accordingly. 

5. MAKE YOUR OWN BREAD, it can be very easy. Google it.

6. Off brand is just as good as the rest

7. Coupons, grab them in the front of the store if available

8. Just because something is a good deal doesn’t mean you have to buy it. I don’t care if orange juice is on sale, I don’t drink a lot of orange juice. You know what’s cheaper than something being 50% off? Not buying it at all. It costs $0.00 to be smart. 

9. Don’t make grocery shopping a habitual thing. By that I mean don’t go grocery shopping every Sunday or whatever. Go grocery shopping when you need to go grocery shopping. If it’s been a week but you can wait 4 more days, wait 4 more days.

10. Don’t buy fresh herbs, grow them. A packet of seeds is cheap. Plastic pots are cheap. Potting soil can be cheap if you can find a place where you can buy by the weight instead of a massive bag. Plant the seeds according to the packet. Things like basil need to be watered often. Things like rosemary and thyme are okay chilling a couple of days without it. Read the packets and google it. Also it’s so rewarding to watch your little baby plants grow. An herb garden costs $10 dollars at the most to make. Fresh herbs at the grocery store cost $2-6 per package. Fresh herbs make meals taste a million times better I swear to god it’s the best thing you can do for yourself. Growing herbs also helped me with my depression so bonus.

11. If shopping at a super store, as much as possible stay out of the “middle”. What I mean is, things you buy should come from the sections closest to the wall-these include the produce, meat, dairy and frozen vegetables. All the processed foods are in the middle and though some can be cheap, they’re not filling and you end up buying them a lot. Doing things like making your own hummus can keep you out of the middle aisles and it’s healthier. Things from the middle you may need though are tea, ramen, grains, soup, peanut butter. 

12. Plan your trip. Thoroughly look through your fridge and cabinets to see what you’re out of. I even keep a little white board on my fridge where I write what’s in the fridge and what’s run out. Write down what needs to be replaced/what you need for the next couple of meals. Do not stray from the list when shopping.

13. Go to Marshalls or Winners or whatever equivalent for things like olive oil, K cups if you have a Keurig (oh fancy fancy) and cool pink salt. They also have other kinds of oils like sunflower and avocado, and even sometimes protein powders. It’s way cheaper there and you can buy a liter sized bottle of olive oil for like 7 dollars when it would cost at least twice that at a grocery store. 

14. Do not have the same grocery list every week. Prices of things change, your list should reflect that. If you’re wanting to get some sort of fruit for a snack, don’t get apples every week. Get whatever is in season. The prices of fresh produce in stores and markets will reflect what’s in season (i.e. the cheapest things). Lucky for us Bananas are always in season and are a super cheap snack that people forget about. I often wait until they’re ripe, cut them up and freeze them to make smoothies. 

15. Don’t be afraid of tofu. It’s cheap as hell and once you learn how to prepare it, can be a fantastic substitute for animal proteins if meat/fish are too expensive.

16. Don’t forget, so many foods can be frozen. If something is crazy on sale, don’t be afraid to buy more than usual if you are able to freeze it. Here’s a list of things that can be frozen. TBH here, in Canada, I buy those big 3L bags of milk and store the little baggies in the freezer. 

Finally, go to Goodwill stores and thrift shops to find kitchen appliances, dishes, and cookware for cheap! The best 7 dollars I ever spent was on a crock pot. These stores have so many items that last FOREVER, like a good pan, or a classic cafeteria.  Don’t think you can’t cook because you can’t afford the equipment. Kitchen equipment doesn’t have to be a huge investment.

That’s all I have for today. Good luck out there guys.

[bgharison]

Jot It Down July -- Whumpnesday the 4th

Okay, technically the 5th but only because . . . again.  I do not understand the concept of “jot”  First draft-y, again, but I’m finding that I like this process of throwing out a draft here and not letting myself overthink it to death.  I’ll do that later.  

I’m still working on POV -- this starts with Mary’s POV and then there’s a coda to the coda that’s Steve’s POV and if anyone has feedback for me as to whether or not that works well, I would be most appreciative.  

 Coda to Season 1 Episode 13

 She’d held it together admirably, all things considered.  And the look of pride on Steve’s face, Kono’s admiration -- honestly, it made getting kidnapped worth it.  Really worth it.  She’d almost broken down at the soft touch of his callused finger, tilting her face up to examine the deepening bruise on her cheek, but she focused on telling him what she had done, who she had called, what she had pieced together.  

 “Stay here, do not leave this building,” Steve had called out, at some point, before rushing out to follow up on a lead.  So she’d puttered around his office, her fingers tracing over the awards and commendations on the walls.  Milestones, accomplishments . . . none of which she had been aware of, much less witness to.  She wondered if anyone had taken pictures, had taken him out for a beer after, to celebrate.

 A text message came through at one point.

 Food in breakroom.  Don’t leave building.

 She had rolled her eyes and smiled, and found a surprisingly tasty cup of noodles to heat up in the microwave.  Exhausted and full, she wandered back to Steve’s office and curled up on his sofa.

 *********************************

 “Mare?  Hey.  Mary?”

 Steve’s voice was soft, his fingers carefully brushing her hair away from her face.

 “Hey,” she rasped, struggling to sit up.  Muscles that she didn’t know even existed were aching.  Her head was pounding.

 Gentle fingers ghosted over her jaw as a white light seemed to explode behind her eyes.

 “Ow,” she protested, trying to turn her face away from the light.

 “Hold still,” Steve fussed, flashing a penlight into her eyes.  “I couldn’t get you to wake up, you scared me.”

 “I’m fine, just tired.  It’s been kind of a big day for me.”

 Steve chuckled at that.  “I think you have a concussion.  Come on, let’s get you home.”

 “Finally,” she groaned.  “I want a shower.  No, a bubble bath.  No, first a shower, then a bubble bath.”

 “I’ll see what I can do,” he said, gently easing her off the sofa.  “Would shower gel make bubbles?”

 “What are you talking about?”

 “I know I have shower gel, not sure about bubble bath,” he said, his hand resting warm and solid on the small of her back, steering her to the elevator.

 “Why --”  Her brain wasn’t keeping up as she shuffled along.

 “You’re coming home,” he said.  “Home.  With me.  There’s no way I’m letting you stay alone.”

 She started to protest as the elevator doors slid closed, but his hands wrapped around her shoulders and he bent down, looking at her earnestly.

 “It’s not up for debate,” he said.  “I’ll pull rank and put you in protective custody if it comes to that.  With Mamo.”

 She raised her hands in surrender and leaned against him when he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

 ***********************

 There was a warm breeze blowing across her face.

 “Mare?  We’re home.”

 Steve was standing at the open passenger door of his truck, reaching across her to unfasten her seatbelt.

 “Already?” she asked.  Her muscles were stiff again.

 “You were asleep before we hit the highway.  You snore, by the way.”

 “You lie.”

 Tears pricked hot and sharp behind her eyes as she made her way up the sidewalk and onto the front porch.  

 “I don’t know how you do it,” she said quietly, as he entered his updated security code and opened the door.

 “Do what?” he asked absently, not bothering to pretend that he wasn’t clearing the house as they entered.

 “Stay here, where Dad was . . . I just -- doesn’t it bother you?”

 He was silent as he set the alarm and locked the door.

 “Yeah, sometimes,” he said.  “You still want dibs on the entire contents of the hot water heater?”

 “Yes,” she said firmly.

 “Go on.  I’ll make us something to eat.”

 *******************************

 She padded down the hall, her hair dampening the collar of the Annapolis t-shirt she’d rummaged out of the laundry room.

 “Cute,” he said, grinning at her as he came out of the kitchen, carrying a tray.  She followed him into the living room.  “I made peanut butter and banana, I hope you still like it.  Go ahead, I’m going to grab the first aid kit, patch your head back up.”

 She curled into a corner of the sofa and picked up a plate from the tray.  Peanut butter and banana on wheat, the crusts cut off, the sandwich cut neatly into thirds.

 Just the way she liked it, when she was ten, and still.

 Tears were streaming down her face when he returned, a small kit clutched in his hand.

 “Mare?” he called softly, rushing to the sofa.  “What is it, what’s wrong?”

 She pressed her hand against her mouth and shook her head, trying to hold back the tears that had been threatening all day.  

 “Ah, kiddo,” he whispered, dropping the kit onto the table and gathering her in his arms.  He held her close, his hand cradling her head against his shoulder, just as he had when he’d pulled her from the trunk of the car earlier that day.  “I’ve got you, it’s okay.”

 “I’m sorry,” she choked out.

 “Sorry?  What -- no, what are you sorry for, hunh?”

 “I didn’t mean to cry, I’m not even really hurt that bad --”

 “First of all, you do not ever need to apologize for crying, do you understand?  And you did get hurt today,” he said.  “You were hit hard enough to split your forehead open, you took a solid hit to the jaw --” His voice started to shake as he recounted her injuries.  “You got knocked out, your hands bound with duct tape, and thrown into the trunk of a car.”

 He pulled her close again and rocked her gently as she finally allowed herself to cry, hot tears splashing onto his neck as he rubbed gentle circles on her back.  When she settled and leaned back, wiping her eyes and looking up at him, she was shocked to see his eyes, red and filled with unshed tears of his own.

 “You came for me,” she said, cupping his face in her small hand.

 “But I could have lost you today,” he whispered.  “These men, they killed mom, they killed dad . . . they could have killed you.  What if you hadn’t had your phone, what if --”

 “I did, though, and you got to me,” she repeated.  “And I’m okay, Steve, I am.  I messed up, I asked too many questions.”

 “And got us closer to answers than I did,” he said.  “You really are something else, Mary.  I’m so proud of you.”

 “Yeah?”

 “Yeah.  Yeah, I am.  And Dad would be, too.”

 She smiled at him as he brushed the last of the tears from her cheeks.

 “Your head’s bleeding, let me take care of it,” he said.  She sat still as his impossibly gentle fingers dabbed antiseptic cream onto the abrasion and then covered it neatly with a clean square of gauze.  “There. All set.  You knocked a guy’s tooth out?”

 “Self-defense classes are big in LA,” she said, shrugging.

 “So, you’re like a freaking ninja?” he teased.

 “Like my big brother,” she said.

 “I’ve missed so much of your life,” he said.  He took her hands in his, one at a time, and gently rubbed more antiseptic cream into the red, broken skin there.

 “I didn’t know you had so many awards.  From the Navy,” she said.  “I mean, I knew you were kind of a big deal but . . .”

 He was silent for a long moment, and when he finally looked at her, his eyes were filled with regret.

 “Mary,” he started.

 She knew, then, she knew what he was going to say.

 “I can’t stay, can I?” she whispered.  

 “I will make Oahu safe for you,” he promised, “and the minute it’s safe, I will send for you and bring you back.  I can’t -- I can’t risk losing you.  I can’t.”

 She nodded and swallowed around the lump in her throat.  His fingers brushed over the bruise on her jaw again.

 “You understand?” he asked softly.

 “Yeah.  I understand,” she said.  “We both do, now.”

 ********************

 She opened her eyes in the dark, her head pounding.  Raw, unadulterated panic wrapped cold fingers around her throat, and in a fleeting moment she was back, bound and helpless in the trunk of a moving car.

 “Steve!”

 He was by her side before the sound of her scream had faded from her own ears.

 “I’m here, Mary, you’re safe,” he said, as he scooped her up out of her childhood bed just as he had the night that their mother was killed.

 She winced as he shifted her in his arms and carried her to the living room, a pillow and blanket on the sofa and a soft lamp glowing.

 “Are you hurting?” he asked.

 “You slept out here?”

 “Yeah, I wasn’t taking any chances.  What hurts?” he repeated, placing her gently on the sofa.

 She sighed and leaned her head against the cushion.  “Everything.  You must think I’m --”

 “I think you engaged in close quarter combat this morning,” he said.  “You held your own, but you’re going to be stiff, sore.  Like . . . after a car wreck, when you hurt more the next day.”

 “That’s exactly what I feel like,” she groaned.

 He smiled down at her sympathetically, absently rubbing the back of his neck as he snagged a bottle of Motrin off the end table and offered it to her, along with his glass of water.

 She took two tablets and then looked up at him.

 “Wait.  Why are you taking this?”

 He settled into the sofa and spread the blanket over both of them.  She tucked into his side and rested her aching head on his shoulder.

 “When those guys busted in here this morning --”

 “They took my key!” she remembered suddenly.

 “When those guys unlocked the door and walked in here this morning,” he amended, “they tased me.  Knocked me flat on my face.”

 She patted his knee sympathetically.  

 “Go back to sleep,” he murmured, kissing the top of her head.  “I’ve got you.”

 *************************************

 He’d held it together admirably, all things considered.  And the soft smile of appreciation and affection on Mary’s face made it all totally worth it.  He managed to flash a smile and a shaka to her before turning and fleeing from the airport.

 He kept the emotions at bay by immersing himself in the photos that Mary -- clever, brave Mary -- had taken.  He let Danny’s news of Koji’s death distract him, fuel him with purpose, pushing the hurt and the pain down underneath.

 He would have gotten away with it, too, had Danny not shown up at his house, looking tired and disheveled in sweat pants and a NYFD t-shirt.

 “Danny?” Steve asked, confused, pulling out his phone.  No missed calls or texts.  “We get another lead?”

 “No, we are fresh out of new revelations and stunning leads for the day,” Danny said.  “And no new kidnappings, either, just to put your mind at ease.”

 “Okay, then . . . not to be inhospitable, but it’s late, and I’m really tired,” Steve said.  He gestured at Danny’s rumpled appearance.  “And I’m sure you are.”

 “It’s been a long, hard couple of days,” Danny agreed.  He held out a six pack of Longboards.  “Thought you might need to unwind a bit.”

 Steve hesitated.  His plan had been to spend at least another hour looking over the evidence and then hit a few shots of whiskey so that he wouldn’t have to think about anything else.

 “You hear from Mary?” Danny’s soft question interrupted his thoughts.  “She get back to LA safe?  She okay?”

 “Yeah,” Steve sighed.  

 “She was really something,” Danny said.  “Kinda figured she had it in her, you know?  It’s the short sassy ones you really have to look out for.  They slip in under the radar and -- pow.”

 Steve looked down at him, at the person who’d had his back every minute of the last two harrowing days.  Danny, filling a bag with ice for the base of his skull, throbbing from the taser; Danny, ranting about procedure and keeping him from going off the rails; Danny, keeping him steady, keeping him from sheer and utter panic; Danny, leaping from the helicopter to take down Mary’s kidnappers.  

 “Mary was kidnapped,” Steve blurted out.

 “Yeah, babe,” Danny said.  “Terrifying.”

 Steve lifted shaky hands to rub over his face.  “You saw me through it, Danny.  I woulda lost it without you today.”

 Danny’s hands wrapped strong and warm around his biceps.

 “I’m your backup, of course I saw you through it,” Danny said.  “What, you think I’m some schmuck, don’t understand how you feel about your baby sister?  Come’ere, sit down before you fall down.”

 Steve let Danny guide him to the sofa.  He rubbed irritably at his eyes again, knowing full well that he was fooling Danny exactly not one bit.

 “I almost lost her today,” Steve said softly.  “You were here.  I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to go through the last two days with me.”

 Danny nodded, his blue eyes locking steadily onto Steve’s.

 “I didn’t want anyone else,” Steve said.  “Just you.”

 Danny nodded again.

 “I don’t want anyone else,” Steve said slowly.  “Just . . . you.”

 Danny opened his arms, and Steve collapsed against him.  

 “I was so scared,” Steve murmured, pressing his face into Danny’s neck.  “You picked up that tooth, Danny, I -- “  Tremors racked his tense muscles and Danny held on tight, strong hands rubbing circles over Steve’s shoulders.  

 “You got her, and I’ve got you,” Danny said.  “It’s over, she’s safe, and I’ve got you.”

 “They destroyed my family,” Steve said, his voice breaking.  “They killed our mother, tore our family apart, they killed Dad and orphaned Mary.”

 “Not just Mary,” Danny whispered.  “We’re going to take them down.  I promise you.  We’re going to see this thing through.  I’m with you.  You’re not alone now.”

 Steve pulled back and looked at Danny, searching his face.  “Because of you.  I didn’t . . . God, I’ve been an idiot.  How did I not know?”

 “Pow,” Dany said, a slow smile spreading, his eyes sparking.  ‘Under the radar.”

[demialwrites]

Kitty Kompanion Ch 9

You had plenty of time on your hands sitting at your desk at work. You got into brewing coffee properly and ordered better coffee grounds than the watchpoint previously had. Other agents besides Angela started stopping by for your coffee. You became known for it. Angela noticed you weren't drinking it yourself and bought a separate machine to keep yourself stocked with decaf.

"There's money for this?" you asked. "When I joined, I was sleeping in a cot."

Angela shot you a knowing look with eyebrows high and said, "Investors."

You let that sink in, then you asked, "So people know about us then?"

"Ah, they did since the museum mission."

"Oh," you replied. You did remember seeing it in the news online. "Well, then, how come no one's tried to stop us besides Talon?"

She shrugged.

"I don't have time for politics. I just want you all to be healthy."

You nodded and smiled.

"Of course."

Angela sipped her coffee with both hands on the mug. She walked over towards her office, her stocky heels tock tock tocking along the sterile floor.

She spun on her heel back to you.

"Genji didn't mention the investor money? That man is half the reason we got those investors, eliminating key Talon underlings. Come to think of it, that might be why no one's up in arms. Must be convenient for certain governments."

She wrinkled her nose.

"You don't seem happy about this," you stated.

"It's not right. So many statements were made that Overwatch couldn't be trusted, but now it's alright to give us funds? And in secret, as well."

Seems the issue had been festering beneath her hard work and optimism, as she gestured passionately with her free hand as she spoke. It was probably even more frustrating that she knew the funds were helping her treat agents, as well. She couldn't turn the help down. You felt for her, but you were more interested in what Angela told you about what Genji was doing. He never told you exactly what he was doing. Because he was a senior agent, you assumed he knew what he was doing. Maybe it's time to ask.

The rest of the day went really well. To your delight, the babies got more active in the afternoon. You absentmindedly rubbed each spot they kicked; it was a little unnerving to see the skin stretch out like that. Genji kept sending you dick pics at random times throughout the day, along with a message that he'd call later. Good, you could ask him then. Genji seemed to be enjoying himself taking the photos, becoming more enthusiastic. Adding ridiculously seductive faces. Bending over to pretend to suck himself off. To be honest, you were just glad to see him at all. The naughty nature of it was secondary. And seeing his face made you more excited than usual for his video call that night.

"I can't stop thinking about you," he began the call with. "So every time I do, I send you a picture."

"Me?" You didn't feel attractive. You felt like a beached beluga. "I am huge!"

"I know! It's so cute." Genji whispered the last word reverently.

Genji dropped into a cross-legged position. The video feed was jostled as he did so, and he plopped his metal-enforced chin in his palm to gaze at you. The way he smiled at you with genuine love in his eyes made you feel unexpectedly naked to your feline lover. You blushed and dipped your chin.

Genji adjusted his legs, settling back into the same position. The end of his tail whipped back and forth.

"I wish to be home," he said. "With you."

You agreed with all your heart, of course. But you also fidgeted, unused to the sudden laser focus of Genji's attention.

"Genji, I, uhh..."

"Hm?"

"I wanted to ask you about something."

"Anything."

"What is it you're doing out there? I know that you're working hard, but..."

Genji pulled his tail forward to hang onto it. His expression faltered as he explained up front that it was very dangerous what he was doing. However, he was the only one able to pull off these missions. Not even Hanzo could.

"Don't tell Hanzo, but if not for his dragons, I might be the stronger warrior," Genji murmured quietly to you as if his brother might overhear.

You shook your head, amused at his boast.

He went on to confidently state that he was taking the utmost care not to get into trouble. Hanzo was there to back him up on most of the assassination missions, anyway. You don't know why Genji looked worried a minute ago. Everything added up in your mind. All you had to do was wait for the babies to come, with increasing discomfort.

Honestly, you had forgotten about the details of the birth. Hid from them, mentally. Things were going to be fine, though. With Angela, the best surgeon in the world as far as you knew in charge of the cesarean, Genji to be back in time to support you, and Talon being managed, there was no need to worry.

The next day, you nearly didn't make it out of bed. You couldn't believe you could get more tired. It couldn't be from all the hauling around of your extra weight. It wasn't /that/ much extra weight; you just looked ready to explode with babies. You're bent slightly backwards trying to manage waddling around the watchpoint.

Since it's very obvious that you're pregnant and near the end, you can't escape the comments. The first time you stumbled upon everyone having a lunch together in the mess hall, you were greeted with happy applause. You couldn't decide if you wanted to waddle back out the door or enjoy the attention.

"Where's the father?!" Reinhardt asked from his seat at the table. "He should be here to carry you wherever you go."

He was only teasing, but it did sting in the slightest. You found a seat next to Angela, nearly falling into her lap on the way down. You adjusted yourself for the most comfort you were going to get. Which wasn't much. Reinhardt beams at you and looks ready to offer to carry you around for the rest of your term in Genji's stead.

"Where's Winston?" you asked Angela. You took her hand and put it to your stomach. She liked to feel the babies move, and it was nice to be touched by someone who cared while Genji was gone.

She starts droning a list, "Being a workaholic. Not listening to me. Eating peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Ugh. His only concession was using whole wheat bread."

"Maybe he's making up for my not working at all," you quipped.

"Your job is to eat for three!" said Tracer, pushing a small plate towards you with a lemon danish on it.

You happily pounced on it, while conversations continued around you.

One agent stopped eating and checked their buzzing phone. They frowned at the screen. Then another took out their phone, then another. Pretty soon everyone had their intense gazes trained on their little screens. You only noticed when you finished inhaling the danish.

Chairs scraping back against the floor and the drumming of shoed footsteps alerted and startled you. Everyone was clearing out. Angela placed her hand on your shoulder before getting up.

"Emergency," she said. "I'll explain when I can."

It was serious. That's all you could tell.

Mercy called your phone herself later, instead of going through Athena with a transmission.

"I'm sorry, Dear," she said.

"Why?"

Panic bubbled up in your chest.

"It's Genji," she said. "He missed three check-ins. We really don't know what happened."

"I see."

You answered because it was expected of you. Mercy explained that they were all searching in small teams. She said some other things, but you only remembered that Genji was missing and they were looking. She tried to reassure you and then hung up.

You wandered around with only half your mental capacities working. Useless. You hated it, but you couldn't do anything else. Genji promised he'd be home. He promised. You kept checking the messages from Angela to see if you read them wrong. With both palms pressed to your bulging belly, you couldn't answer the question of what you'd do if he didn't come back to you.

You did know what you'd do if he came back alive, you mused, narrowing your eyes and dropping into the nearest chair. You tapped your foot on the floor and balling your fists tightly against your stomach. You pictured your open hand slapping Genji across the face for doing this to you.

The image was vague, so it slipped from your mind easily. You wilted over, almost bursting into tears. You couldn't hurt Genji, even if he hurt you. You didn't mean it, you were just frustrated and alone.

Hanzo had this honourable notion in his mind that it was his job to protect you while Genji could not. He obtained permission to go off-duty to do just that. He returned to the watchpoint to inform you of his intentions to make sure Genji came back to find you safe and sound. You had a vague, agreeable answer. You looked so lost. Didn't say much. It melted some of the ice Hanzo had frozen his own heart with.

Maybe he could be a good uncle and make up for being such a terrible brother, he thought...

Hanzo had no time for such musings. He set about guarding you from the shadows.

He disappeared, and you gave it little thought. You knew he was a ninja, and you were used to Genji and Hanzo's brand of weird. Not to mention, you had more immediate issues to deal with. One was practically living on the toilet. Before Angela left, she confirmed for you, with her lips twitching almost into an amused smile, that the baby girl was head down on your bladder.

Hanzo spent a lot of time outside of your window, hidden in the shadows on the nearest rocky wall of the mountain of Gibraltar. His ears twitched every which way, listening to every little sound. You barely left your room, since you no longer had a job. You slept a lot. You read digital books a lot. You cried a little. Hanzo's heart melted some more.

That made him grimace in frustration that Genji's precious Overwatch had not found and brought him home yet. Dr. Ziegler was forced to return back to the base as the date for your cesarean was approaching very soon. That gave Hanzo an idea. He should bring Genji home.

You would have convinced Hanzo to stay. You're sure it's what Genji wanted. But you were asleep, so off he went.

[drlaurynlax]

How to Heal IBS Naturally for Good

Can you heal IBS naturally? Well, Natural IBS healing IS possible…here’s what you need to know

IBS 101

 IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) is a collection of unspecific signs and symptoms also known as a “disease of exclusion” when other gut problems that have a structural component (like IBD, GERD or diverticulitis) have been ruled out. I will discuss how you can heal IBS properly.

IBS Symptoms

Ideally, IBS symptoms must have been present at least 3 months before a diagnosis is given. The most common symptoms include reoccurring abdominal pain with two or more of the following:

Chronic diarrhea or loose, watery stools

Chronic Constipation

Interchanging constipation and loose stools (never consistent) 

Improvement with defecation

Onset associated with a change in frequency or consistency of the form of stool. 

Causes of IBS

There is no one single cause of IBS. Some potential triggers of the onset of IBS include:

Food poisoning

Gut infections (like parasites) 

Antibiotic use

Low stomach acid

Heavy metal and toxin exposure

Suppressed immune system

SIBO (small intestinal bacterial overgrowth)

Leaky gut

Gut dysbiosis (unhealthy balance of gut bacteria)

Gluten and food intolerances

Regardless of what started your IBS symptoms, there is no doubt that it is UNCOMFORTABLE, and can keep many enchained to always needing to know where the nearest bathroom is (diarrhea), or praying every time they are on the toilet “please help me go #2!” (constipation). 

What to do about it?!

There’s a wide variety of both pharmacological (drugs, like laxatives, stool softeners and steroids) and non-pharmacological (non drug, natural) treatments for IBS. 

However, in BOTH clinical practice and the scientific literature, the non-drug treatments are not only safer and have LESS side effects, but they are also MORE effective in many cases.

Here is a 4-step natural healing protocol for IBS—both IBS-C (constipation) and IBS-D (diarrhea).

Heal IBS Naturally

Step 1: Identify Underlying Food Intolerances

Testing for sensitivity to gluten and dairy can be game changing if you are sensitive to these foods. In addition, other foods (particularly FODMAPS, like apples and high fructose fruits, Brussels sprouts and other cruciferous veggies) can trigger symptoms.

People with IBS are often but not always FODMAP intolerant. The Low-FODMAP diet is one of the most, if not the most, effective treatments according to research studies (1). This is an important step to heal IBS.

The top recommended ways to “test,” include either:

An elimination & customized diet (see Step 3) to test and experience how certain foods make you feel or don’t feel (first hand)

Cyrex Food Intolerance Testing 

Array 3 (gluten and gluten derivatives, if you are currently eating gluten)

Array 4 (gluten cross contaminating foods) 

Also, Array 10 (list of 100+ foods, like FODMAPs)

Step 2: Identify Additional Gut Dysfunction (if any)

In addition to assessing for food intolerances, testing and assessing for other gut conditions that may be behind your IBS is crucial. Work with a functional medicine practitioner or nutritionist to determine if any further testing is necessary to find out what may be driving your IBS condition, such as:

SIBO Breath Testing (SIBO)

Comprehensive Stool Testing (Parasites, Bacterial or Gut Infections)

Functional Blood Chemistry Analysis (Thyroid Testing, Iron Deficiency/Overload, Nutrient Deficiencies) 

DUTCH Hormone Testing (HPA-Axis Dysregulation and cortisol imbalances)

Organic Acids Testing (gut imbalances)

Toxic Burden Testing (urine, hair, serum)

By assessing and addressing the “root” causes of health imbalances, you may find the real reason IBS is prevalent in the first place. This is a great start to heal IBS for good.

Step 3: Integrate a Real, Foods Diet

It sounds simple, but simplifying your nutrition can get you far. 

After all, if you have a “dirty windshield” and keep getting more dirt on it, you won’t notice if it’s still dirty. BUT if you have a clean windshield, and then put more dirt on it, you certainly will notice. The same thing goes for our diet and when you try to heal IBS.

Real whole foods should comprise the base of a diet to heal IBS in order to give yourself the best possible chance to allow your IBS healing supplement protocol can also work for you (below). 

In addition, I find that an anti-inflammatory Gut Reset dietary approach or AIP style (autoimmune protocol) diet can be tremendously impact early to heal IBS—especially during times of a “flare.”

Foods to Include

Sustainable Proteins (wild caught fish, pastured poultry, grass-fed beef, etc.)

Leafy Greens

Colorful Starchy Tubers (sweet potatoes, winter squashes, carrots, beets)

Fibrous Veggies

Healthy Fats (avocado, coconut, olives/olive oil, grass-fed butter, ghee, animal fats)

Clean Filtered Water & Herbal Teas

Foods to Avoid

Eggs (pastured egg yolks ok in moderation)

Nuts

Nightshade Veggies & Spices (peppers, tomatoes, chilis, chili powder, paprika, eggplant, white potatoes)

Grains

Dairy (except for fermented full fat kefir or yogurt)

Alcohol (no more than 2-4 glasses/week)

Instant Coffee (even Starbucks; opt for 1 cup organic black roast if you drink)

Sweeteners & Sugars

Additives 

Next Level

Already “eat clean” or eat real food, but don’t feel any differently?

Some people find a short-term (30-90 days) “therapeutic” Low FODMAP diet. This helps them take their diet to the next level to heal IBS. Also, this allows inflammation to cool down. FODMAPS are ___ . They include dozens of foods with these sugars that trigger IBS symptoms in some. 

No, NOT ALL FODMAPS have to be avoided. 

A low-FODMAP diet can provide short-term relief and it can be used partially. For example, you can remove YOUR biggest triggers from the low-FODMAP diet. This includes broccoli, apples and onions but continue eating other FODMAPs that don’t necessarily trigger you.

Check out this complete list of FODMAPS

Low FODMAP Diet 

Eat Freely: Low FODMAP Foods

Veggies

Bamboo shoots

Beet

Bok choy

Carrot

Cucumber (including pickles made without sugar)

Dandelion greens Eggplant Endive

Fermented vegetables (raw sauerkraut, or lacto- fermented vegetables)

Green beans

Kale

Lettuce

Olives

Parsnip

Sea vegetables 

Spinach

Spring onion (green partonly)

Sprouts and microgreens (including alfalfa and sunflower)

Summer squash (zucchini, pattypan and yellow squash)

Swiss chard

Tomatoes (including cherry tomatoes)

Winter squash (acorn, butternut, pumpkin and spaghetti squash)

  Fruits

Banana

Blueberries

Grapefruit

Kiwi

Lemon

Lime

Melons (including cantaloupe and honeydew)

Orange

Papaya 

Mandarin

Passionfruit 

Pineapple 

Raspberries 

Rhubarb 

Strawberries

  Proteins

Muscle meats 

Organ meats 

Homemade bone broth 

Fish and Seafood 

Poultry

Eggs

Bacon (made without sugar)

  Fats

Avocado oil 

Coconut oil

Cod liver oil

Ghee

Grass-fed butter

Lard from pastured animals 

Olives and EVOO (extra virgin olive oil)

Macadamia oil 

Homemade mayonnaise

Sprouted nuts and seeds minimal quantities 

Starches

Cassava / Yuca 

Plantain 

Rutabaga 

Taro

Turnip 

White potato 

Sweet potato

White rice

Best Avoided: High FODMAP Foods

Veggies

Asparagus (fructose)

Broccoli (fructans)

Cabbage (fructans)

Cauliflower (polyol)

Garlic (fructans)

Jerusalem artichoke (fructans)

Leeks (fructans)

Okra (fructans)

Artichoke (fructose)

Onion (fructans) Shallots (fructans)

Snow peas (fructans, polyols)

Sugar snap peas (fructose) 

Raddichio (fructans)

Tomato sauces and tomato paste (fructose, fructans)

Avocado (polyol) 

Brussels sprouts (fructans) 

Celery (polyol) 

Fennel bulb (fructans) 

Green peas (fructans) 

Mushrooms (polyol)

  Fruits

Apple (fructose and polyol)

Apricot (polyol)

Cherries (fructose and polyol)

Mango (fructose)

Nectarine (polyol)

Peach (polyol)

Pear (fructose and polyol) 

Persimmon (polyol) Plum (polyol)

Watermelon (fructose and polyol)

  Proteins

Legumes (lentils, beans, and peanuts)

Soy (including edamame, tofu, tempeh, and soy milk)

Fats

Vegetable oils and high pro-inflammatory omega-6 fats (canola, sunflower, safflower, grape seed, soybean, cottonseed and peanut oils)

Processed mayonnaise and salad dressings

Pistachios (fructans) 

Almonds 

Hazelnuts

Most nut and seed butters (unless raw, sprouted nuts)

Starches

Wheat

Gluten

Gluten-cross contaminating grains (oats, quinoa, barley)

Dairy

Cheese

All commercial dairy products made from non- pastured, grain-fed cows, such as commercial yogurt, whey and pasteurized milk.

Additives & Seasonings

Sugar-, grain-, soy- or gluten-containing seasonings or condiments (ketchup, soy sauce, some tamari sauces, balsamic glaze, commercial mayonnaise and salad dressings)

Chicory (fructans)

Sugar alcohols (sorbitol, mannitol, xylitol, etc.)

Gums, carrageenan, soy lecithin

MSG and colorings Agave syrup (fructose)

Artificial sweeteners (Splenda, aspartame, etc.)

High-fructose corn syrup (fructose)

Honey (fructose) 

Refined sugars

Beverages

Beer (most contain gluten and/or mannitol)

Fruit juice Soda

Wine (ports, late harvest, ice wine)

Bonus: Low FODMAP Optimization

Consume organ meat. For example, liver from pastured animals one to two times weekly will help to replenish your vitamin B12, iron, and other nutrients IBS commonly depletes you of. This will help heal IBS.

Sip homemade bone broth between meals or with meals

Slow cook, stew, braise and poach meats for best digestion at low cooking temperatures. You can take this step to heal IBS effectively. 

Vegetables should be well-cooked with any seeds removed to improve digestibility; minimize

intake of raw, fibrous fruits and vegetables.

WHAT IF LOW FODMAP DOESN’T WORK?!: THE GAPS DIET

Beyond an anti-inflammatory (real foods) diet, and the Low FODMAP approach, one more short term dietary approach the works for some is the GAPS Diet—specifically a diet developed to heal gut dysfunction and bacterial imbalance.

 It’s a subset of the real foods, anti-inflammatory diet with the main distinction of forbidding starchy plants. This means avoiding or significantly restricting potatoes, sweet potatoes, plantains, yuca, taro, and all grains, such as white rice, oats and quinoa.

GAPS DIET BASICS

The GAPS diet is similar to the customized anti-inflammatory diet, with the following distinctions:

• It eliminates all starch sources (e.g., sweet potatoes, potatoes, plantains, etc.).

• It emphasizes the use of fermented foods and bone broths to restore healthy gut

microbiota and gut barrier integrity

• It allows dairy that contains little or no lactose, like grass-fed butter, ghee, homemade

kefir and yogurt, hard cheeses, and fermented cream. Milk, soft cheeses, and unfermented

cream are NOT allowed.

• GAPS begins with an “introductory phase” that allows only meat, fish, bone broth, ginger tea, and small amounts of fermented foods and progresses through several stages, concluding with the “full GAPS diet,” which is much less restrictive.

You can find out all the details at the website.

Step 4: Lifestyle Gamechangers

Once a baseline of “real foods” is established, a few lifestyle game changers can make a difference in how you feel.

Sleep Enough. Get 7-9 hours of sleep (shortened sleep shortens the elimination process)

Drink Half Your Bodyweight in Ounces of Water. Essential for healthy bowels

Stress Management. Stress is the #1 driver of all disease—IBS included. In addition, stress is NOT just mental either, it involves physiological and sociological stress too, such as circadian rhythm dysfunction. For example, staring at screens all day, shift work, eating late or working out late at night, nature and fresh air deprivation, lack of social connection, working long hours without breaks. Eliminate one habit stressing your body out and integrate a balance of work and play to heal IBS.

Increase Soluble Fiber (prebiotics). These foods help you go #2 and form healthy bulk in stools (i.e. partially hydrolyzed guar gum (PHGG) supplements, and prebiotic foods, like cooked and cooled sweet potatoes/potatoes, carrots, and squashes, green tipped bananas and plantains, and cooked and cooled white rice). 

Step 5: Supplement Smart

Last but not least, some supplemental supports can help your body rewire healthy bowel function. Keep in mind though, you CANNOT supplement your way out of a stressful lifestyle or unhealthy diet. 

IBS-C (Constipation) Natural Supplement Protocol

Antimicrobial Herbal Supplements. Kill off bad gut bacteria. (Recommendation: Dysbiocide + FC Cidal)

Bitter Herbs: Take under tongue to stimulate bile (waste) production. (Recommendation: Iberogast)

GI Revive (Designs for Health). A blend or herbals to support elimination.

Magnesium 

Magnesium Glycinate (200-600 mg/day) *don’t use high doses over long term

Also, Magnesium Citrate (like Natural Calm, 1-2 tsp. before bed)

Ox Bile. Liver Support to encourage detoxification and proper waste production (Recommendation: Beta Plus).

Peppermint. Natural stimulant and soother for constipation. (Recommendation: IB Gard)

Soil Based Probiotics, Promote healthy gut bacteria in the microbiome. (Recommendation: Primal Probiotics)

Prebiotics. Help form healthy stools and support healthy gut bacteria.  (Recommendation: Sunfiber) 

Prokinetic: Helps move bowels through. (Recommendation: MotilPro) 

Vitamin-Electrolyte Blends Vitamin C stimulates digestion and elimination. (Recommendation: Ageless Hydro-C) 

IBS-D (Diarrhea) Natural Supplement Protocol

Antimicrobial Herbal Supplements. Kill off bad gut bacteria. (Recommendation: Dysbiocide + FC Cidal)

Bitter Herbs. Calm stomach aggravation or abdominal upset.  (Recommendation: Iberogast)

Butyrate Supplement* (sodium/potassium form + pre-biotic powder in water, like this one)

Peppermint. Natural stimulant and soother for constipation. (Recommendation: IB Gard)

Soil Based Probiotics, Promote healthy gut bacteria in the microbiome. (Recommendation: Primal Probiotics)

Prebiotics. Help form healthy stools and support healthy gut bacteria.  (Recommendation: Sunfiber) 

Saccharomyces boulardii (Recommendation: Floramyces) 

BONUS

For bloating symptoms: Atrantil (2 capsules with meals, diminishes bloating as well)

Resources

1. Hill, P., Muir, J. G., & Gibson, P. R. (2017). Controversies and Recent Developments of the Low-FODMAP Diet. Gastroenterology & Hepatology, 13(1), 36–45.

The post How to Heal IBS Naturally for Good appeared first on Meet Dr. Lauryn.

Source/Repost=> https://drlauryn.com/gut-health/how-to-heal-ibs-naturally-for-good/ ** Dr. Lauryn Lax __Nutrition. Therapy. Functional Medicine ** https://drlauryn.com/

[phoorn]

Fat Cunt, Reformed

In Britain some time ago there was an advert. Can’t remember what it was for. “Belly’s gonna get you, belly’s gonna get you.” I’m got. My tits are pretty good, frankly.

And so I’m on a diet. I’m taking this quite seriously. I’ve gone and looked up BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) and I’m measuring the weights of foods, figuring out their calorie content.

I wrote a program to help me (of course) called ccalc. Just a simple calorie calculator. You go, ccalc rice tatties "monster energy drink:500" and it tells you … wait a minute … – 438.00. The program reads from a file I’m compiling over time. Looks like this:

rice: 1.29 indomie: 5.0 tatties: .74 onions: 0.42 mushrooms: .22 spaghetti: 1.57 canned tomatoes: .17 bread: 2.66 peppers: .26 french fries: 2.74 ice cream: 2.01 broccoli: .34 coffee: .01 milk: .60 monster: .47 walls cheese and onion slice: 2.96 microwave korma: 1.48 egg korma: 1.64 quinoa bulgar wheat: .85 cous cous: 1.07 chia seeds: 4.47 eat natural bar: 4.76 sesame oil: 8.84 olive oil: 8.84 vegetable oil: 8.84 banana: 1.5 peanut butter: 5.88 almond milk: .5 blueberries: .83 girlfriend smoothie: .55

The numbers on the right are cals-per-1-gram. I’ve got them all from fatsecret.com, so if I’m wrong, blame them. Or my shoddy grasp of even the simplest mathematics.

Here’s some interesting things doing this has taught me.

Good god, shrooms1 have fuck-all calories in them. I love shrooms and could eat them all day. Seriously, there were about 150 grams of shrooms in the pack I ate today. That’s … uh, sec … 33.00 calories! What? How can that possibly be true? Maybe it’ll turn out to not be true. But I believe it. Shrooms live in the shade. What need do they have for calories?

Oils of all kinds are jam-packed with calories. Even a tablespoon of sesame oil is 120 cals. I’ve been using more and more oil as I march statelyly through my life. No more, I guess.

Energy drinks are really not that bad in terms of calories. Less than instant noodles. Of course, instant noodles fill you up. That is significant. And energy drinks are empty calories. I had an energy drink on the first day and got mad later ’cause I was hungry and had blown 1/10th (or so) of my calorie budget.

There’s more calories in one of my girlfriend’s so-healthy-they’re-gross green smoothies than there is in an energy drink. Yes, yes – “but they’ve got nutrients in them”. How many nutrients do you need? Am I in danger of scurvy? Are you?

Chips are … – no more chips. And when I say “chips” I mean the last bit of “fish and chips”.

Onions, broccoli – all vegetables except potatoes – are low-calorie.

Anyway, I’m having fun. Really. It’s nice to sort of manage your life. A bit like being a dictator, or an abusive spouse. The problem with being those things is people piss on your grave. But when your hated dictator dies … you’ll be dead, too!

I mean, of course, mundane, verynomagic ones (Vim joke).↩︎

[peterstestkitchen]

Circus Peanut Peanut Butter

Rating: 5/5 ~ 16 votes

Time: 5 minutes (omnivore, unhealthy version), 7 minutes (vegan, unhealthy version), 1 hour (vegan, healthy version)

Every Thursday when I was a kid, my mom would plop me and my brother down at the local library for children’s storytime. When it was over and the head librarian had dismissed us, I would roam the library in order to gaze upon my favorite library things: the model ships, the strange YA cartoon books, and the aisle where every book had a blue sticker of a man smoking a pipe. When mom showed up again and it was time to go, a video cassette—the Star Trek episode, “The Trouble with Tribbles,” usually—was clasped between my grubby paws. In my brother’s, the latest installment in the Hank the Cowdog children’s book series. Ahh… just thinking about the VHS section and I can smell the polypropylene-imbued air sure to be found when in close proximity to the clamshell case palisade!

Come spring, a box of circus tickets would appear on the library counter suspiciously close to the checkout machine. The circus was coming to town! ...And our parents would never let us go. ...Until the day they did.

In truth, I don’t remember much from the circus. It wasn’t in a tent, it was in the town’s hockey arena—and poodles took the place of elephants. In fact, I didn’t even eat circus peanuts while there! Get this, my dad bought a box of Cracker Jacks—for himself! However, this was the genesis of my love affair with the circus. Sorry, honey. There’s someone else… and his name is Barry Lubin! (Barry Lubin is a famous clown.)

Fast forward to the near present and after getting the quarantine spring jibblies, I finally snapped and declared, “If I can’t go to the circus, well, in fact, I’ll bring the circus to me!” (Side note: still to this very day I have only been to the circus once. It’s more about having the feeling that I could go to a circus if I wanted to, rather than the feeling of being barred from a yearly ritual. After all, circuses are generally banal and raise many animal treatment issues. Again, it’s the romanticized circus I like. The Idea of Circus.) So I decided to acquire some circus peanuts, having never actually tried them before.

“So, from where did circus peanuts first appear, even?” you ask. Well, it appears no one knows. They are believed to have come onto the confectionary colosseum sometime in the 1800s, making them one of the oldest continuously produced candies. Well, I shouldn’t say continuously produced, as they originally were a seasonal treat before better packaging techniques were invented! Thank you, science! :) My best guess is that they originated as an ersatz peanut product, similar to how the hazelnut was used as a filler with which to cut chocolate products during a cocoa scarcity in Italy during WWII. (More talk about hazelnut spreads below!) Whatever the case, this homemade recipe is on scale! :) Okay, so back to business.

Acquiring circus peanuts in quarantine was a bit harder than expected. Every store I visited was sold out: Fleet Farm, Walgreens, Kwik Trip—all out! Alas, toilet paper wasn’t the only thing people were snatching up! Curse you, omnivores! (Side note: lest we forget this pandemic would have never happened had the world been vegan. I don’t think it’s wrong of me to suggest that everyone who consumes animal products from factory farms should have to pay the unemployed vegans an extra $600 a month. Why should I, a humble plant eater, pay for the mess of the omnivores yet again? Stop eating meat, y’all! Factually stated, 41% of all land in the United States is used for livestock! What a fuckin’ waste! And excusez mon français!)

So instead of continuing on a wild goose chase to find these golden eggs, I decided to take a radical approach and make my own circus peanuts. (Plus, I found out after Googling around that circus peanuts aren’t even vegan! For shame!) This is where things start to get a little tricky. You see, I’m a bit of a health nut. Well, maybe a little more than a bit of one... I may be a full-on health peanut! Peanuts like me would never eat something so processed anyway... But who’s to say I can’t have a taste of the circus in a healthy, vegan way? Why not make homemade circus peanut peanut butter? And better yet, why not use duckweed as a base instead of circus peanuts? You get all the goodness of the circus but in a spreadable way with all the health benefits of the most nutrient dense plant known to humanity. For yumzeez! :)

World’s healthiest food

For those who only know duckweed from smelly retention ponds, duckweed (also known as water lentils) is actually a great food for humans. It has more protein than soy, has many antioxidants, and is a natural source of B12. Get this, the bacteria that make B12 grow in a symbiotic relationship with the plant! Question: How neat is that? Answer: That’s pretty neat! And by the way, omnis, B12 comes from bacteria in the dirt that vegan animals eat. Given that most cows and chickens eat feed that’s been washed, these animals too have to be given vitamins—the meat you eat is trash :) 

So I finnicked for a long time to get the duckweed circus peanut peanut butter spread consistency right (we’ll save that process for a different post!), bought some peanut-shaped molds from eBay, found some food coloring in the back of the cabinet, and I was off to the races! Err, Circus! I had done it! I had made circus peanut peanut butter! Granted, it tasted more like an artificially flavored banana salad than candy, but it’s the thought that counts!

So… days go by and I get tested and find out I don’t have the coronavirus. Yipee! Time to see my folks! ...But I couldn’t serve that to my family. They’d think I’d lost my marbles! So instead, I came up with a more palatable, albeit less healthy, option. Instead of duckweed, I would use Trader Joe’s brand vegan marshmallows, dye them to the proper color, and mold them in shape. Then I could serve my folks organic, gluten free, non-GMO circus peanuts, or I could blend them to make totally delicious circus peanut peanut butter. Then maybe make a circus-y themed fluffernutter? Mmmmm!

And there’s even an option for the omnis among us: get real circus peanuts and follow the same procedure. (Just know if you do that, the gelatin you’ll be consuming will be from the bones, skin, and hooves of dozens of different cows or pigs.) For simplicity’s sake and also because I am collaborating with an omni for this post, we ended up going with regular circus peanuts. She had already purchased the circus peanuts before I could alert her that it had to be vegan. My bad! :^O “’Tis better to use the food you have than to let it go to waste.” Plus, they were Spangler brand, the classic choice for circus peanuts!

Aforementioned, I called in the big guns: food stylist, chef, event planner, and artist, Kendal Kulley. Check her out on Instagram! She assisted me as we made her favorite sandwich with the addition of my favorite ingredient: the Circus Peanut Peanut Butter and Pudding and Chocolate Peanut Butter Sandwich! First, take lightly toasted Whole Wheat bread (100% whole wheat works best). Then, slather a thick layer of homemade circus peanut peanut butter followed by a smathering of lemon pudding (Snack pack brand is my favorite, lemon is her favorite flavor (within the Snack pack brand family)). Next, add a sprinkling of hemp hearts for a bit of protein and roughage—not to mention polyunsaturated fats!

After that, Kendal likes to add a squidge of chocolate flavored peanut butter or hazelnut spread to thicken the whole thing up. Please note that I do not condone the use of most flavored peanut butters or products like Nutella as they often contain palm oil, a cash crop leading to rainforest deforestation. The same goes for cocoa. Instead, I propose we continue to advocate that the UN apportion monies to residents of poorer rainforested countries so they can live comfortably and keep our biggest source of oxygen intact. I’m happy pitching in a handful of dollars every year if it means I can keep breathing clean air :)

Then, simply close it up and enjoy! Buuuuuuut, if you’re feeling really ambitious like we are, you can make… wait for it… a TRIPLE DECKER! Just repeat the process over again with a third slice and add it on top! YUM. Cut it in half and there you have it! A perfect guilt-free (provided you followed the vegan duckweed version and omitted the peanut butter and used a more hearty bread) lunch item! Bon appétit!

I hope you enjoy this recipe and let me know in the comments how it turned out! It shouldn’t take any more than five minutes if doing the omni method (grrrr!) and about one hour for the healthy vegan method. It makes one jar worth and will last three to five days in the refrigerator—but it never lasts that long! Oh, and if you do end up having sandwich leftovers, it works great for a morning hash! But again, I, for one, almost never have leftovers! :)

Peace!

Peter 

Omnivore version (unhealthy):

Ingredients:

1 package Spangler brand circus peanuts

4 tbsp water

If making chunky, set aside one circus peanut to mince in a food processor or with a knife. In a large bowl, add the circus peanuts and water. Microwave for two minutes on high or until the circus peanuts have expanded to twice their size. Serve immediately or add to an airtight container.

Vegan version (unhealthy):

Ingredients:

1 package Trader Joe’s brand vegan marshmallows

4 tbsp water

2 drops natural banana flavor

4 drops orange food coloring

In a large bowl, add the marshmallows and water. Microwave for two minutes on high or until the marshmallows have expanded and softened. Mix in the food coloring and natural flavor and microwave for another minute. Add to mold and set sit until at room temperature. When fully set, add to Vitamix and blend until desired peanut butter consistency is achieved. Serve immediately or add to an airtight container.

Vegan version (healthy):

Ingredients:

6 cups fresh duckweed

4 tbsp flaxseed meal.

4 drops natural banana flavor

12-18 drops orange food coloring

If making homemade duckweed, follow these instructions and skip the next step. If collecting from a pond, read on. Preheat the oven to 300 degrees. In an Instant Pot or lesser pressure cooker, steam the duckweed for one minute on high pressure with the valve set to sealing. Do five minutes of natural pressure release. Blend in the Vitamix with food coloring, flaxseed meal, and banana flavor until it becomes a fine mush. Put in peanut mold. Place in the oven for 10 minutes, or until the peanuts have mostly dried out. Put back in the Vitamix and blend until you have the desired level of consistency. Serve immediately or add to an airtight container. 

Captions:

Oh look! An ant wanted to join us! Hello, little ant!

Comments:

Feel free to email me your comments and I will add them below :)

OMG this looks so goooood!

Thanks for the post, Peter! I just wanna say that I too used to go to the circus with my family every year and loved it! I will try this recipe ASAP.