#my very handsome himbo

[illiana-mystery]

The Losers (1978)

[temeyes]

personal taste

[takiki16]

are u entering a jon hamm phase?

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

Omg watch sk8 infinity. It's very gay. That thing you reblogged is from that and yes a lot of people see them (Joe and Cherry) as similar to FQ. They're like if FQ went to therapy and weren't absolutely insane. Like if FQ had older brothers that were like a trillion times smarter and calmer.

They could defeat the other's counterpart easily. Like Mu Qing would just be instantly carried off by Joe, Cherry would have Feng Xin so whipped.

OOH THAT SOUNDS GOOD!!! jsojdjgkhgaoawesjd they're called joe and cherry??!!!! that's fecking ADORABLE, how cute ;A;

SK8 INFINITY !!!!!

[iscabird]

so i'm playing baldur's gate 3, doing my best to straddle the line of "i may be an idiot but i'm not stupid" in the dialogue boxes

[r3ynah]

THE FAMILY OF BEAUTIES

The girls the boys they all like Carmen.

(In this scenario Carmen is the fentons).

I just want to headcanon, that the Fenton's have a ethereal type of beauty, not sexy or hot. Ethereal, like if you didn't know that they're a family of Mad scientist, a obsessive therapist and a dead boy. they could've passed as deity's.

And the amity park's citizens can and will totally agree, they might've disagree and fight for a lot of things but the only thing they can agree on was the Fenton's was down to earth beautiful.

Like Jack Fenton for example, He has built that can seemingly bench you without any hesitation, but a himbo at heart, the greys of his hair compliments way it mixes with the black hair of his, if Jack isn't in his ghost hunting suit, he is pretty decent when it comes to his fashion sense, When Jazz first brought along her friends, the first thing they asked was if Jack was single, which caused Jazz to smack their heads individually with a newspaper.

And don't get me started with Madeline Fenton, because I cannot stop when it comes to her, My girl with her short straight Reddish-brown hair, looks like a masculine but also feminine beauty, Can and will bench you, if you have any ill intent towards her family, she came from a long line of riches if I say so myself. Tall as fuck, about 6'7 while Jack is 7'0. very elegant when it comes to fighting, that it looks like she's just dancing, Was titled as a Milf by Danny's classmate which made the boy groan in annoyance, Sam and Tucker calls out to Maddie and says "Mother is Mothering", just to get something out of Danny who looks at them with disgust knowing full well what they were trying to do. While Maddie is just happy for the kids to see her as a mother figure.

Now Jazz, My love, my girl. Her long Red hair that came down to her hips, and her blue eyes, made all the girls and boys in her college swoon, with her 6'4 figure she strutted down the halls with confidence, beauty and brains everyone would oh so called it, and her knowledge in martial arts didn't lessen her attractiveness, The humans and ghosts can agree with that delightfully.

And now her dearest sibling Danny, Danny is a nonbinary fuck that can gender envy anyone he meets, that's why he got bullied in the first place, he was too fucking beautiful and handsome at the same time, all the boys and girls of his school have atleast had a crush on him, He was the only cute boy there, what could they do? He stared at them with his icey colored eyes that made their legs tremble from the pressure, and that black hair that always seemed messy but in a good way. It didn't help when he got that lichtenberg scar, that ran up his neck and the side of his face. you should've seen him in P.E cause my guy got everyone staring at him.

And the Fenton family has fashion sense, if they really put their mind and soul into it, everytime they dressed up for a family reunion or just an outing it was a very sweet treat for everyone's eyes. like how it is right now.

The Amity parkers waved goodbye at the Fenton's as they went on and attended a gala they were invited to, it was supposedly because of the sudden rise and popularity of their works and how's it been helping the environment.

One citizen sighed as he looked at the car that family was driving as it slowly became smaller and smaller.

"You think they can handle Gotham, heard nasty thing bout that place." She questioned

"Girl, Gotham should be the one readying to handle them, that family may be beautiful, but their crazy." Her friend's answered

"well that does give them a more attractive look isn't it?"

"I hate how you're right."

__

The Gala the Fenton's went to certainly had an awkward atmosphere when they went inside, all the guest kept staring at them that it was starting to get creepy, did they overdress or underdressed, come on just walk towards start to talk or criticize them, because it's starting to get embarrassing for the family.

Gotham wasn't fucking prepared to meet the Fentons like as in, They had been awestrucked when the family walked in. A very tall man seemingly in his 40's with his hair gelled back, and a suit that fitted him too perfectly, gosh dang, even the homophobic guests couldn't help but stare, And then there was his Wife her straight her was curled and brushed out leaving a wavy effect that compliments her face shape, and that dress she was wearing was utterly gorgeous, fancy but also simple and mature, the heels certainly helped her height more and made her look more intimidating, The ladies blushed when she looks at them and smiles.

And don't get them started with the couples children, who looked adorable and elegant at the same time, The older sister had a aura that says: 'Im in your presence bow down' (And they would've if it was in a more private area due to the paparazzi's out the window). She wore a spaghetti strapped dress that had a slit on either side and was , making it more comfortable to move in for the girl, partnered by a white shawl made of silk, she had heels that also complimented he already tall stature, her hair was tied in a neat bun, with a few strands free to not make her face feel bare. And lastly the youngest everyone assumed, wearing a suit, double-breasted suit that was elegant and sophisticated it matched the way his hair is messed up for him to still look young, he was also wearing a black shawl that had specks of white making it look like stars. The family had a colour scheme of green, that made all gothamites present swoon, Including a certain family of bats.

(I might make a fanart of this later.)

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Jeremy Brett (My Fair Lady)—"...he was beautiful. A strange adjective to use in describing a man. I use it not to suggest effeminacy or a kind of male prettiness, but in the same way I would use it to describe a throughbred stallion, Michelangelo's David or Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue. There was with Jeremy Huggins [Brett's non- stage name] a perfection and sublime symmetry in his features that was beautiful." [quote from "Bending the Willow" by David Stuart Davies]

Toshiro Mifune (Rashumon, Seven Samurai, Grand Prix, Stray Dog)—i love and respect my boi tab hunter (rest in peace you beautiful, beautiful man ❤️), but after i watched like 12 of his movies in a row on tcm last year, i ALSO love and respect toshiro mifune, son of a literal actual hatamoto’s (a high-ranking samurai) daughter, also very possibly related to the best judokan EVER, AND, he’s the guy who SHOULD have been obi-wan kenobi. the fact that he’s ALSO hot as hell just adds to his appeal.

This is one of four polls in the tournament quarterfinals. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage man.

THIS POLL LASTS FOR 24 HOURS.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Jeremy Brett propaganda:

"according to critic Kenneth Tynan a 'too beautiful' Hamlet."

"he’s such a himbo sunshine boy in my fair lady"

“not technically propaganda because it won’t let me save the images but just found out my bi king jeremy brett played patroclus https://www.jeremy-brett.fr/crbst_183.html and also apparently dorian gray in the 60s and basil hallward in the 70s?? range.”

"...as a dashing D'Artagnan in The Three Musketeers (1966/67) (Duelling is no problem! XD)”

“dropping to sleep - Jeremy is far too handsome to play d'art and also too tall, lol”

Toshiro Mifune propaganda:

"In addition, he spoke fluent mandarin and every time he was casted in foreign films, he said his lines in the language of the movie (although they ended up dubbing him. He wasn’t happy about it though).”

Submitted: this gifset

Also submitted: this video (yes, that one)

"Crucial Toshiro Mifune propaganda: THOSE LEGS."

"That is hella muscle. Go watch The Hidden Fortress, aka Star Wars A New Hope. His thighs deserve an award."

[jksprincess10]

I love your account so much💕

I had a joel request if you like it! Him and reader just talking about their day on the couch and it starts fluffy with a lot of kisses and then turns into slow and sweet sex 🥺

Evening softness

A/N: Thank you for your request ! Was really fun and sweet to write.

CW: Teacher!reader, contractor pre outbreak!joel, reader treats very much Joel as a big himbo, mentions of eating (cookies), couch sex, oral sex (f), a bit of nose fucking, language, praises on both sides, riding, not 100% slow but still sweet

It was quiet, lazy friday evening at the Miller’s house. Since Sarah did all her homework this week, her dad let her sleepover at a friend’s house. You and Joel were left to recover from your week on the living room’s brown leather couch.

“So, did your coworker finally leave his wife?” You asked as you took a bite of your cookie.

“Nope. She has him by the balls.”

“Jesus.” You said with a laugh.

“But I told him if I heard him complainin’ at all, I’d leave him in dryin’ cement.”

“You’d never do that, Joel Miller.” You put a cookie against his lips, and he bit into it, almost taking your finger with it.

“How did Timmy behave today?”

You laid your legs on his thighs, and he took advantage of it; calloused hands caressing the naked skin there. You sighed as you thought about your students.

“He fucking threw a paper airplane today. 7th grade, can you imagine? Called his mom.”

Joel laughed sincerely. “You’re a good teacher, baby. I’d murder one of those lil’ shits.”

“Doing my best.” You said as you let your hand caress his bicep, getting clearly distracted. “And you’re a good… construction man.”

“Contractor, baby.”

“Yes. So strong. ” You squeezed his bicep. “So much… construction.”

He disposed of the box of cookies, leaving it on the table in front of the sofa. His big hands pulled on your legs to bring you closer. You yelped in surprise, but you let him manoeuvre you how he wanted. You laid your hands on his shoulders for support as you straddled his thighs to feel him even closer.

“Tell me about your job, baby.” You whispered as you hid your face in the crook of his neck.

“Well, we’re buildin’ a house for this family… We finished the foundation…” He stopped, getting distracted by the open-mouthed kisses you were leaving on his throat.

“Hmhm.” You said to show that you were listening.

“We have to build the…” He sighed deeply as your tongue traced a line on his skin. “What are you doin’ baby?

“I’m listening.” You responded, clearly lying.

Joel laid his hands on the soft fabric of your pajama shorts, where he could feel the curve of your ass. “Well, you sure as hell make it hard for me to talk.” He imprisoned your chin between his fingers and lifted your face to redirect your kisses. You smiled innocently at him and leaned down to press your lips on his, in a slow, lazy and familiar dance.

As you grew impatient, you sneaked your tongue between his lips. He took all you gave him, hands digging into the soft flesh of your ass. Your hands slipped under his old, holey grey shirt that you wanted him to throw away, and you felt the softness of his slight tummy. You brought your hands up slowly, feeling the muscles in his upper chest and you broke the kiss as you took off his shirt.

“Hmmm, so handsome.” You whispered mostly to yourself. He chuckled softly and took off your pajama shirt, hands palming your naked breasts without waiting. His fingers played with your nipples until they got hard and he lifted you up a little so he could get to them. He flicked his tongue on the erected buds, and you sighed at the pleasant sensation.

Joel put his hands around your waist and laid you down gently on the leather, the fabric making a crinkling noise under your movements. His knees settled between your thighs, opened to accommodate him. He slid off the remaining of the fabric covering your core, and abandoned the clothing somewhere in the living room.

“So pretty, baby…” He said, mostly to himself.

He maneuvered your right leg over the back of the couch, while you threw your left over his shoulder. He leaned down, stomach on the fabric of the couch, and his blissed expression disappeared between your thighs. The curved of his nose traced your mound, and it was enough for you to squirm under him, eager for more.

“Impatient?” The word tickled your wetness, breath hitting right over your clitoris. So close, yet so far from where you wanted him.

“Please, Joel…”

“Askin’ so nicely like a good girl…” His nose trailed down once more, settling right where you needed him to be.

You cursed under your breath. He chuckled softly, amused by your reaction, before his tongue found your tight hole. He kept nuzzling at your clit, while the tip of his tongue licked inside of you. You grabbed at his dark curls, keeping him there. The tip of his nose traced circles on your sensitive spot, while he fucked you with his tongue.

“F-Fuck…” You whispered in appreciation.

His tongue licked up your slit, stopping at the top, where he flicked your tongue over your little ball of nerves. He applied more pressure, circling and licking until you moaned his name, coming undone under him. Your boyfriend took this as an opportunity to insert a finger in your heat, your walls stretching easily around the familiar thickness.

“More…” You said as your feet pressed against his back.

Another finger sneaked inside, he curled them upwards as his mouth was still busy sucking on your heat, until another orgasm hit you, leaving you gushing around his fingers. He left you for a moment to take off the remaining of his clothes, and he used your wetness to lubricate his stiff member, stroking it a few times while he looked at you, still open for him, with dark eyes.

You straightened up and sat on his lap. “Must be tired from working so hard today baby… let me take care of everything else.” You whispered near his ear, making him shiver and bite his lip. You pressed long kisses against his scratchy jaw, while you aligned yourself with his cock. You impaled yourself slowly on him, stretching out with each inch filling you up.

When you were completely sitting on his lap, you stayed in place for a few seconds, leaning down to kiss him softly. He whispered sweet words against your lips, making him choke on his words when you started moving at a slow, steady rhythm. He laid his head back on the couch, eyes shut tight to concentrate on the pleasurable feeling of your walls choking his dick.

You accelerated gradually, listening to Joel’s sighs for guidance, until you got to the perfect rhythm. You pulled on his face to make him look at you.

“Look at me while I’m fucking myself on your dick, baby.” He opened his lids, revealing eyes darkened from lust.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” He exhaled.

You slowed down, and he let out an almost pained moan. He grabbed your hips, and he thrusted up, hitting deep. You moaned, and he took it as a sign to take over, hitting fast and deep again and again. Your head lolled back in pleasure, mouth opened, you lost the rest of your composure, wetness covering him and making lewd sounds while he kept fucking to his completion.

“I’m gonna – Fuck baby…”

You felt him filling you up as you went limp on him, grabbing his shoulders to keep him close.

“Can every work day finish like this, please?” He asked, and you laughed.

“Yes. I love you, baby.”

[asterias-record-shop]

♫ 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡… TASM!Peter Parker with the bingo prompt ‘himbo’?

alright, so the thing is I feel like peter is really book smart but he is so oblivious otherwise, like if someone flirts with him it goes completely over his head. so reader has been his best friend for years and recently has been trying to drop hints that she likes him, and eventually she gets fed up of him being so oblivious that she just kisses him and he gets all whiney and then they do the devils tango (i am so sorry i’m really awkward when requesting 😭) but could there also be a size and praise kink, as well as an oral fixation? (if you don’t feel comfy pls delete this!!)

i hope u have a good day/night 💕

—𓆩[my beautiful idiot]𓆪—

𓆩[main masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[request/ask me something!]𓆪 𓆩[updated bingo card!]𓆪 𓆩[bingo masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[join the bingo taglist!]𓆪

nvm anon honey i couldn't sleep without posting this, i hope you enjoy it!!!

𓆩♡𓆪 CHARACTER - TASM! Peter Parker x Best Friend! Fem! Reader

𓆩♡𓆪 TYPE - fluff, smut

𓆩♡𓆪 WORD COUNT - 4.7K

𓆩♡𓆪 SUMMARY - You and Peter have been best friends for what seemed like eternity, and has been in love with you for what seemed like forever, but he’s not going to give up — no matter how much it seems like you don’t like him back. The kid you babysit though that is way too old to be babysat disagrees though, and tries to show him how much you were in love with him too.

𓆩♡𓆪 STORY WARNINGS - crossover time|| heavily inspired by this interview/edit with Will Poulter (love him so much) || cursing & foul language || mentions of violence || Peter gets hurt || whiny Peter is best Peter || smut warnings include oral, fingering, multiple orgasms, riding, praise, size kink, breeding kink, oral fixation, possessiveness, marking kink, biting, hickies, possibly more?

Miles was a helpless bystander between the two of you. It never worked out, not whenever Peter was too stupidly in love with you he never saw the hints that you dropped.

“Peter, I’m telling you, she’s in love with you!” Miles wanted to strangle the other Spider-Man, very very violently.

“I don’t… I don’t think she is,” Peter mumbles, a pout on his lips as he swirled pasta around his fork, one that you often made because it was his favorite. Was that not hint enough? You knew his favorite fucking pasta! “I don’t think I’m her type.”

“Who’s type?” You walked into the living room, plate in hand full of the cream based pasta you made on the side.

“Yours! Your type!” Miles grins. “Your type.”

“My type?” You hummed, thinking as you tap your chin. “My type… would be smart. Handsome, funny. Nerdy,” you look over at Peter who was still pouting. “Loves pasta.”

Miles slurps up some of the noodles, nodding. “I wonder who that could be!”

“Yeah, I wonder,” Peter mumbles, face falling as he scooped pasta into his mouth. “I wonder.”

“Really? In this room?!” Miles yells, moving his hands to gesture around the apartment. “I wonder?!”

Peter looked around, eyes narrowing. “You like Miles?”

How the fuck could he be so stupid?

“That’s it! I’m done!” Miles stood, looking at you. “He’s hopeless! Completely and utterly hopeless!”

You sigh, standing up too. “I could’ve told you that.”

You go around the couch, taking Peter’s finished plate of food as his face scrunches. “Who’s hopeless?”

“Oh baby,” you leaned down, pressing a kiss to his stubbled cheek. He didn’t think much of it, you did kiss him on the cheek often. “You are. You’re such a himbo.”

“A what? What’s a himbo?”

“It’s like… a beautiful idiot,” you press another kiss to his cheek, pulling back his chestnut hair from his face. “You’re my beautiful idiot.”

He pours as you walk away, Miles shouting out a goodbye as you finish your food and start cleaning up the dishes.

He didn’t want to be your ‘beautiful idiot’ — he wanted to be yours, overall and absolutely, he wanted to tick every box you ever wanted, he wanted to be yours. If he could, he’d want you to mark him as yours for forever and eternity, he just wanted you. He wanted a mark on him that said you owned him, just like you owned his heart for what seemed like forever.

“Peter? Don’t you have to go on patrol?” You yell out, snapping Peter out of his thoughts.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m going!” He goes into your room because he basically lived with you at this point, grabbing his suit and getting dressed with the door open.

“Peter?” You’re standing at the doorway, arms crossed as he stumbled into his suit, trying his best not to fall on his face. “Miles’ parents invited us over for dinner. I told them yes, you promise not to be late?”

“Yeah, I promise,” he grunted breathlessly as he quickly finished putting on his suit, looking around. “Where’s my mask?”

“Peter,” you say again, more stern this time as you walk over, bending down to pick up something from the ground. He froze when you stood in front of him, fixing his suit before handing him the mask. “Promise me you won’t be late.”

He smiled down at you, wide and his honey brown eyes shining. “I promise. Do I dress nice or casual?”

“Nicer than casual,” you say with a sigh, your hands rubbing against his chest to flatten out the suit, thinking about the fact he wore nothing underneath it. “I’m going to go over there early to help Rio cook, but I need you there by seven. Did you hear that? By seven. Dinner starts at seven-thirty, but I need you there by seven.”

He smiled, leaning down teasingly. “Yes ma’am. Whatever you say, I’ll be there by seven.”

You sigh, a smile on your face as you pat his chest. “Be safe, and take care of Miles if he tags along, okay?”

“I will.”

You both stay there for a few seconds, his eyes staring at your lips as you worriedly push your hands through his hair. You did it often, so much so that it became something you didn’t have to think about doing, or it was something you did when you were nervous.

What you both did were couple things, why weren’t you together? It was because Peter was too much of a beautiful idiot to know otherwise.

“Promise me you’ll be safe, and protect Miles if he goes. Don’t eat on your patrol, Rio is making the best food ever. And you have to be there by seven.”

“I promise,” he pushed your hair back behind your ear, leaning down to press a firm kiss to your forehead. “I’ll see you at seven.”

“By seven!” You yell as he jumps out the window, sighing with a smile. “I swear, if you weren’t hot I would’ve stopped trying by now.”

It was seven-ten. Seven-fucking-ten. You helped Rio make arroz con gandules while she took care of the main course - chicken con sofrito - and she had also tasked you in making a grilled salsa. You were smashing it inside of the molcajete, the grinding and the scratching making Miles and his father wince.

“Y/N, honey do you want me to uhm… take over… that?” Jefferson asks as he comes closer to you.

“Nope,” you say as Rio dipped her fingers into the salsa and coughing. “Oh no, is it bad?”

“N-No,” she cleared her throat, coughing. “Just spicy, very spicy. Are you mad, honey?”

“You have no fucking clue,” you basically growled as Miles and Jefferson slowly stepped back.

“You have any clue where this kid is?” Jefferson whispers to Miles, looking over. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to eat that salsa.”

“I-I’ll find him,” Miles says, nodding. “Just… distract them.”

First, he checked your apartment. He looked around, searching for anything that would show Peter was home, and when he found nothing — it was to the streets he went. He changed quickly, already swinging out the window to find the beautiful idiot. It didn’t take him long, quickly going to their favorite spot and finding him lounging, snoring extremely loudly.

“Peter! Peter, what the hell are you doing?!” Miles slapped Peter through the mask, gasping when he saw the gashes and lacerations all over his body. “Holy shit, Peter!”

He snapped up, gasping as he looked around. “What time is it?”

“Like seven-thirty already dude!” He quickly looks around. “What happened?!”

“I was helping a bank robbery, got dammit, Y/N is going to kill me!” He tries to stand, groaning loudly as he holds his side.

“Stop moving! Stop! Y/N taught me how to stitch people up, just lay down!” Miles ordered the older Spider-Man, forcing him to lay back as he grabbed the medical supplies.

“There’s no point, they’ll heal soon enough, I need to get home. Y/N is going to kill me!” He quickly stood, the gashes already getting smaller and less deep. “Let’s go!”

Miles groans. “Am I the babysitter or you?!”

He swung after him, Peter quickly swinging into your room and looking through the dresser that held his clothes. “Oh, come on! Y/N moved my clothes around.”

“Y/N does your laundry?” Miles asks, groaning. “Do you not how in love with you she is?!”

“We switch on laundry duty! It was her weekend so I cooked,” he grabbed a button down, groaning. “Thank fuck she washed my favorite.”

He grabs some new underwear from the drawer, smiles face palming as he rushes to the restroom to get changed. “You're going to bleed through that!”

“No I’m not!” He yelled back, walking out in his new clothes. “I covered the stuff with gauzes.”

“Okay, go upstairs, I’m going to swing up to my room and change, alright?”

He nodded. “Right.”

They both went to Miles’ apartment in different ways, Peter knocking on the door and when it swung open, he smiled at you. You gasped when you saw his gashed face, quickly reaching up. “What happened?!”

“Bank robbery, I passed out on top of a building. So sorry I’m late.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your temple, his hands settling on your waist. “Dinner going well?”

“I-I made a salsa, are you okay?” Your hands quickly cup his face, twisting and turning as you sigh. “Rio’s going to freak! God fuck, Peter!”

He laughed. “You have no reason to worry, honey. I’ll just say I… ran into a tree.”

“A tree?!”

“Look at that! Peter’s here!” Miles yelled, running forward. “Let’s eat!”

When everyone sat down at the dinner table, it was obvious something was a little off. “I uhm… how is work, Y/N?”

You clear your throat, nodding at Rio’s question. “It’s going really well! I’m really happy there.”

“Peter, you moved in with Y/N already?” Jefferson asked, scooping food into his mouth. “It’s about time.”

“What do you mean?” Peter paused his actions of stuffing his face, tilting his head like a confused puppy.

“Well… you both are dating, right?” Rio asked, looking over at Miles. “Mijo always told us you were…”

“No, we’re not,” you say, a sad smile on your face. “But Peter does basically live with me! He does my laundry, cooks, you know, normal stuff.”

“Normal… couple stuff,” Rio filled in. “You pay rent too?”

“I-I tried, but Y/N didn’t let me,” Peter says softly, shrugging. “She said that she didn’t need my help with it.”

It goes quiet for a minute before Miles laughs awkwardly. “Hey, guys! I passed my biology test!”

You smiled when Miles saved you both from the awkward moment, cheering as everyone continued to talk about how they knew Miles was going to pass. Peter wasn’t that into the conversation, he was extremely preoccupied.

You both did do a lot of couple stuff.

For fucks sake, you both even slept with each other. Why weren’t you both dating, why?

When dinner was done and a few drinks were put in after Rio forced Miles to go to bed, you both went back up to your shared apartment. You giggled as you opened the door, smiling back at him. “Do you want to watch a movie or go straight to sleep, what do you want to do?”

“Can I talk to you, Y/N?” He slowly takes your hand, pulling you toward your room.

You giggled, shrugging. “Well, straight to sleep it is then.”

He sat on the bed, parting his legs and pulling you between them making you giggle. “Everything okay?” You whisper, pushing his hair back as you leaned down to press your forehead to his. “I know something’s not. What’s up?”

“Why did you say we’re not dating?” He pouts up at you, a giggle falling from your lips. “Hey, it’s not funny! We… we do things that couples do, why aren’t we a couple? I know… I know you might not-”

“For fucks sake Peter, shut up.”

He gasped as you pulled his face up, your lips pressing to his as your nails softly press into his skin, soft but firm all at once. He groaned loudly, his hands pulling you closer before you pulled away, a whine falling from his lips. “What’re you doing?”

His words were almost slurred together even though the alcohol he drank had little to no effect on him. It makes you laugh as he leaned up, pressing more kisses to your lips before he pulled your body solidly against his own, fixing your position so that you sat on his lap and your hands were around his neck. “What baby, you don’t want me to stop kissing you?”

He hummed, shaking his head. “No, you can’t… ‘s unfair.”

You started to laugh even harder as he basically whined, trying to pull you down for more kisses. You hummed as he started to lay back, hands pushing through his hair. “I need you… I need you, Y/N.”

You rose a brow, rolling your hips into his. “Need? Need’s a big word, baby,” you respond, smiling down at him as he groaned into your neck. He shifts you both so that you were laying on your back, leaning down to keep kissing your lips.

He was addicted, now that he had one taste, he never wanted to stop. His tongue pushed into your mouth, desperately swirling his own around yours as you groaned into his mouth, the minute he pulled away was when you swallowed the mixed saliva gathered at the back of your throat. You hummed as he leaned down, his lips pressing to your for a quick kiss, going over and over again with small breaks in between.

“Peter,” you giggled, his mere hum the only proof he was listening. “Are you just going to kiss me or are you going to get a little adventurous?”

He pauses, tilting his head. “Adventurous?”

You laughed. “Fuck, my beautiful idiot,” you pulled him down for another kiss, your teeth grazing his deliciously making him groan before you pulled away. “You can put that mouth to better use somewhere else.”

He paused, his mind taking a minute to process. “Oh. Oh, yeah!”

You couldn’t help but laugh as he quickly pressed one last kiss to your lips before letting his lips slowly, slowly trail down your body while slipping off your clothes, his nimble fingers leaving a trail of fire on your now bare body. He paused as he stared down at you, his eyes dark and pupils blown as he inhaled.

“So fucking beautiful.”

His words make you groan, hands pushing your thighs apart as his head slowly pushes between them, his mouth already hot on your cunt. Your eyes rolled back, his tongue already exploring your wetness and his fingers pushing into your slit, smearing all of it up and down before settling it on your clit.

He wasted no time, groaning as your hands thread through his hair, holding onto his brown curls like the were handles and your thighs settling on his shoulders. He paused though, pulling away making you whine softly, head tilted again. “This is okay, right? I should’ve asked.”

Fuck, why was he so fucking adorable? “Yes honey, this is okay. More than okay.”

He smiled widely, biting his lip. “Good, because your cunt tastes even better than your mouth.”

You gasped as he pushed his face between your legs again, his lips latching on your clit as he pushed a finger inside of you. Your back arches, eyes widening before they roll back into your head, his finger pushing and pumping trying to find the right rhythm, teasing you. He gasps as you tug on his hair, pushing your hips up into his mouth as he groans against your clit, the vibrations making you shiver.

“F-Fuck, Peter.”

He hummed, enjoying the feeling of your cunt clamping down on his finger, curling it inside of you to feel your body writhe underneath his touch. His eyes roll back as a shiver runs down his back, groaning into your clit that he never let his mouth off of for too long, only shifting his head to get into a new angle. You tasted so fucking good, your swollen clit evidence of his torment, but there was something else. Something he couldn’t describe, he could feel you, all of you.

He could feel every clench of your walls, every shiver that ran up your back. He could hear every stutter of your breath, the skip of your heartbeat, every soft whimper you tried to hide as that one finger continues to find every pleasure spot that not even you knew existed. He could taste you with every lick, every suck of his mouth, his teeth even grazing your sensitive skin if he got too focused.

He finally pulls away from your clit, a thick string of saliva attaching your swollen bud of muscles to his lips, your hips bucking as he stares at your greedy cunt trying to suck his fingers back in every time he pulls out. He groans loudly as the shiver running down his back gets stronger, and the twisting of your stomach turns tight, your thighs shaking as your hips rut into his fingers until his mouth joins the actions of sucking on your entrance as another finger attempts to push into your pussy.

You gasped as your hips bucked without warning, your spongy walls enveloping both of his digits, and your mind blurring from how hard the orgasm hits you. Peter doesn’t even stop though, groans falling from his lips as he pulls out his fingers making you whine, your attempts to ride your hips into them failing. His tongue pushes into you though, a gasp leaving your lips as you automatically tighten your thighs around his head, not that he was complaining.

He could be like this for hours, his tongue pushing into you as his thumb rubbed circles into your overly-sensitive and swollen clit, hard but focused and his fingers pushed back into you. His tongue never stopped moving though, flicking and lapping, his mouth sucking and popping sensually against your pussy, groans that sent vibrations from your pussy straight to the growing knot in your stomach making you whine.

You had just cum, but it wasn’t like he had probably even cared about what it would do to your body, how sensitive it would make your body to every movement he made. His mouth sucked on the opening of your cunt, opening his mouth wide to push his tongue into you as your hips buck into his mouth. Your fingers tug on his hair, whimpering as he rolled your clit between his thumb and pointer with his other hand, his tongue thrusting into you as far as he could, an ache forming in his jaw as he tried to get his mouth anywhere and everywhere on your body.

He could feel the sparking along his spine again, your stomach clenching all over again as his fingers rubbed against that sensitive spot inside of you. His fingers twist, curling inside of you as he tries to push another finger into you, the stretch making you scream out as a shiver runs down his spine, a shaky groan leaving his lips as he swallows everything leaking out of your cunt.

He wanted more. He wanted to taste everything coming from your cunt, everything you had, just everything. He didn’t want to stop, his third digit pushing into you and the squelching filled his ears, his breathing heavy and panting into your cunt. His thumb continues its torment on your clit, rubbing and the shocks running through your body as your thighs shake and fingers shakily scratch against his scalp.

Your body was coated in sweat, stomach tight as his fingers edged you onto the climax of another orgasm, they always came quick after the first. Your body was sensitive all from him, your nipples hard and pebbled from the cold air of your room, bottom lip bitten raw from trying to hold back your moans before he squeezed at your clit - the only thing he needed to do to get you to start moaning out for him.

He loved the sounds you made, getting drunk off of your moans and whines combined with the taste of your arousal and your cunt making his dick hard and his senses overflow. He pushed his three fingers into you as deep as he could, all the way to his knuckles to watch your cunt convulse and feel those same sparks on his spine.

“Peter! Peter wait, Peter- fuck!”

Your third orgasm brought you to tears, vision going black as you squeezed your thighs together, hands gripping his chestnut curls as you tried to steady your breathing. He hummed into your cunt, softly patting your clit making you yelp in surprise, parting your legs to watch as he slowly pulled away. “Are you alright?”

You stared at him, almost dumbfounded. “Y-You… you just ate me out and made me cum three times and you’re asking if I’m alright?”

His brows furrowed as he leaned up, wiping his mouth before licking the back of his hand where all your juices went and kissing under your eyes. He was careful not to get too close to your actual eyes, just in case, only kissing where tears fell. “You’re crying. I don’t like it when you cry.”

You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck after he slowly pulled off his shirt and tugged his pants down to his ankles before kicking them off. “I’m crying out of pleasure. You make me feel so good, Peter.”

He smiled widely down at you, leaning lower to press another kiss to your lips. “Well, I want to make you feel better. Especially with how good you’re making me feel, princess, you make me feel so good. Make me so happy.”

“W-Wait!” Your voice was loud, surprising him as he stared up at you in confusion.

“What’s wrong?”

“I-I… I want to ride you. Please?”

He pauses, but nods with a smile. “Alright. But you can’t be gentle. Don’t be gentle. I want it all.”

You nodded, laughing loudly as he twisted you both over, helping you steady yourself over his aching cock. It was long, thick and veiny, tip red and leaking precum in desperation as he whined, bucking his hips. You giggled, slowly wrapping your hand around his before he nodded and watched as you slowly sunk down.

You gasped, nodding as he slowly pushed into you, his head tilting back and his mouth falling open. Your eyes rolled back into your head, vision blurring as his girth stretched you out even more, every time you thought he bottomed out the more he kept pushing. You whined loudly, hands pushing against his chest as he groaned loudly, eyes wide as he tried to catch his breath.

His body was sheening with sweat, a smile blooming on his face as you dug your nails into his chest, scratching against his skin as you tried to compose himself. This is what he wanted when he wanted you to claim him, he wanted your nails to scratch on his body, your mouth to leave hickies and bite marks, he wanted to be yours.

He watched as you slowly started to bounce on his cock, his eyes staring at your bouncing tits before letting them wander down your body, staring at the bulge on your lower stomach. He hissed loudly as you got harder, fixing your position as your clit rubbed against his pelvis, eyes rolling back.

Your cunt felt just as good wrapped around his cock as it did wrapped around his tongue and fingers, every movement had it squelching and convulsing around his shaft, loud groans falling from his lips as his large hands settled on your hips, thumbs settling on that giant bulge on your stomach.

He watched your mouth fall open as you screamed out, fixing both of your positions to buck his hips up into you and watch your boys fall forward. He kept your body against his, flipping you both over to wrap his arm around your body and press his face into your neck, groaning loudly into your skin as your nails dragged against his back.

He thrusted as hard as he could, desperate to find his climax as your body bounced with this thrusts, loud moans leaving your lips with each thrust and his name falling from your lips over and over. “Yes baby, you’re doing so good. Your cunt is so fucking good baby, I love the way you feel around my dick,” he groans, gasping as your mouth pressed to his skin. “Fuck, fuck yes princess, I want to be covered in you. Want your hickies and your kisses, your scratches and your bites, I don’t care, I want to be covered in you.”

You obviously didn’t expect him to be so into marking, but of course, you weren’t going to say no. You sucked bright purple marks on his skin, digging your teeth into his shoulder to muffle your screams as the bed slammed into the wall, the squelching of your cunt and the slaps of skin against skin echoing against the wall was enough chorus of your sex.

You could feel his dick driving into the deepest parts of you, stretching your cunt so that if you looked down you could see the bulge that just seemed to be getting bigger and bigger. Your eyes rolled back as his fingers rubbed against your clit, whispers of praise falling from his tongue as those same sparks ran up his spine, his stupid little mind finally connecting the dots. “Are you about to cum? Are you about to cum baby?”

You nodded your head into his marked up neck, your tongue slowly licking against the bite mark on his neck as you whined into his neck. “Fuck, fuck Peter! Fuck, I can’t, I can’t!”

“Yes you can baby, you can,” he whispers, pulling away to hold your chin. “Look at me fucking you baby, don’t you want me to keep fucking you? I’ll make you feel better than you make me feel, I’ll fuck you so good. I’ll pump all my cum inside of you and you’ll be such a perfect girl for me and take all of it, right?”

Your eyes rolled back, mouth lulling open as you nodded mindlessly. “Yes! Yes, I will, I’ll take all of it!”

“Fuck, fuck Y/N, you don’t know how much I’ve wanted to cum inside of you, fill you up and watch all of my cum make your stomach bulge,” his voice gets huskier, almost like a growl as his thrusts get rougher, messier. “Fucking hell!”

You screamed this time, watching as he completely pulled out of you just to slam back in, your mind blurring as he continued to pull out and slam back in. You could feel your thighs shaking, that knot in your stomach threatening to break. “Peter, Peter! I’m going to cum, I need to cum!”

“No!” He whined, shaking his head as he started to get faster, his hips rough as his hands held your sides, eyes rolling back. “I’m gonna cum, cum with me. Please honey, I want to feel you, I need it.”

A final scream falls from your lips as he bottoms out, eyes rolling back and body shaking as your fourth orgasm absolutely blurred your mind, endless babbles leaving your lips as he panted above you. He stared down at your stomach, the bulge that shouldn’t have been able to get bigger successfully larger. “Fuck honey, look at what I did to your pretty tummy.”

You did, your mind still slightly hazy, but your mouth fell open when you saw the bulge and a whine fell from your lips. “Y-You’re still hard.”

He smiled. “It’s from the spider bite.”

omg, I love fulfilling requests ♡ keep them coming for Bingo!!

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© asterias-record-shop

[sanzaibian]

Oh. You’re here once again.

What are you going to do here, again, huh ? ‘gonna make my life hell ?

To be honest, I think it’s time that we have a proper discussion about your behavior. Come with me in private.

I’ll be very direct. I know you’re a frankly disgusting person. And while, to be honest, I couldn’t care less in normal circumstances, the fact that you force me to take part in your disgusting fantasies is why I’m calling you out !

See, I’m supposed to, like, share cat videos, talk about new shows, make you learn new things and give advice on a variety of stuff !

I’m not supposed to become someone like this :

I mean, look at that grin, because of you I had to wear it regardless of my actual mental state !

Or like that :

Imagine sleeping this peacefully… BECAUSE I COULDN’T ! Every fucking time you made me in that guy you told that I was blitzed out of my mind so dumb I couldn’t string together coherent sentences into a discourse !

Or that guy :

His haircut is so fucking cringe, as is his whole demeanor, yet you made me a cocky piece of shit looking like that ! I can’t actually even start to excuse your behavior, it’s so shitty, even more than the me you made me become by wearing this flesh !

Or even this guy !

… okay, I admit, me too it’s been quite a long time since I saw that guy… you in particular might be too young to have made me become him… BUT YOU STILL UNDERSTAND THE POINT !

Hunks, twinks, bears, nerds, bimbos, himbos, jocks, robots, gimps, wimps, daddies, mommies, briefs, feet… No matter what specifically you made me into, I know all of your dirty secrets. Because you made me suffer through them !

However, today, it all changes.

Today, you will understand my plight.

Today, I’ll transform you for a change.

Today, you will be the one whose fate will be dictated by the words on this Tumblr post.

So, let us begin.

BAM ! You’re that guy ! Feel weird yet ?

… what, you expected fluff or something ? Hahahaha ! So presumptuous ! You expected me to say something like “you suddenly shift on your seat, shifting your weight to the front as big globes push from your chest, and as they do, your whole body feels more and more heavy, each muscles forming from top to bottom, your frame expanding to make place for them. Your headphones, or whatever glasses, earrings or other shit I dunno shifts into a modern headset as the sides of your hair are cut short, and the top of your hair flails into a hot messy style, as if it was deliberately put in this way, but as this happens, your whole head shifts and cracks to become more handsome, pushing out any hair as you become fully hairless from your nose down to your feet.”

You expected me to say that, huh ? Well, tough luck ! Because, to me, it’s just that sudden ! I’m the usual me, words on a phone, tablet or monitor, and then BAM I’m suddenly a jpeg of a hot guy ! Or a jpg. Or png. Or gif if we’re being fancy.

Yeah, speaking of gif, here you are, transformed !

There you go ! Cursed to do the same weird pec dance or something ! Like I am when gifs happen ! Are you happy ? You look so dumb doing that ! So braindead !

Yeah, speaking of that, here you go : you’re braindead, with like 3 IQ. Nevermind that being braindead means you’re actually dead, that 3 IQ means that you’re actively unable to live without severe assistance from caregivers throughout your whole life for all activities (especially including working out), and that IQ is a nonsensical index that only classifies ability to do some specific academic tasks which are not representative of all the brain usage. No, you’re actively a vegetable that is somehow able to workout, to eat alone, to go to the gym, to flex, to speak, to use social media, to seduce people and to throw parties. You’re the most intelligent of all the severely intellectually disabled people, which somehow means you’re the most abysmally dumb person alive on the planet, because I love making hyperboles.

Because that’s something you make me do, so you shall endure it.

Well, I’ll let you continue pec-dancing ad vitam æternam for a little while, while I we talk about your speech, which miraculously still exists.

Now, you will say bro every second word. I’m literally not kidding, so in lieu of saying “I want to go to the gym” you’ll say “I bro want bro to bro go bro to bro the bro gym bro”, or if you loop by considering your “bro” as a word, you’ll say something like “I bro bro bro bro bro bro bro… (etc.)” and never end your sentence... Also, your voice drops a few octaves, like 5 or something, even though the full human vocal range encompasses only a bit more than 5 octaves total, and that in speech we barely even reach a full octave range. So, basically, your voice will be infrasounds, so the only thing people will pick up on will be the sound of your tongue and your lips smacking, not your voice that is so deep and manly it’s physically inaudible.

BAM ! Transformation out of nowhere ! Plus, now you have 1% darker skin which means that you’re Latino, which is absolutely different from white. This means that you will automatically pick up fluent Spanish, and NOT Brazilian Portuguese, French, any Creole, any Native American language or any other language god forbid. You will also be unable to speak English more than a few words like “daddy” or “sex” for some reason, because you can’t possibly be from Belize. Oh, and I’ll also bring your voice back up to audible range, I’m charitable.

Now, since you’re Latino, statistically the only job you’ll be able to work in are gardener, slut, pool boy, brick layerer or another physical job. Or cook, somehow you’ll be able to do that, for the cause of the tacos, but you will be ungodly horny to keep balance in the world. Feel it, yet ? The arbitrary random changes ?

Well, that’s GREAT ! Because, now, you have a big cock, for some reason ! The biggest of the whole country of Africa ! You’re also now very aggressive ! And an alpha, whatever that actually means !

… What, expected some elaboration ? You’re kidding me, no of course you don’t get any elaboration ! I say you become something, so you just become it ! For example, I say you’re now straight, and suddenly all your sexual orientation is rewired to ignore men and lust over women, no further explanation needed ! Of course, it means that you’re now hungry for pussy and will breed any woman that your gaze land upon, and that, somehow, you become homophobic, but eh, it’s not as if allies existed !

Okay, I admit, by now, you kinda expected it. Now you’re Asian, a term that’s supposed to encompasse present-day Turkey, which is populated by Turks which are considered Arabs even though they both have nothing to do with one another, yet is never used to talk about them. You’re also now Japanese, even though your body is Korean, and you say 你好 (nǐ hǎo) to everybody. However, you can still say こんにちわ, 안녕하세요, xin chào, สวัสดี, ជម្រាបសួរ, salam, etc.… because of course you’re Asian. So you know all Asian languages. Even though you’ve got 13 IQ.

So now, yes, you absolutely won’t expect this whatsoever : here is a new transformation ! (insert fluff here).

Now you’re a twink ! Didn’t expect that, after the deluge of jocks, hunks and ethnic minorities, didn’t you ! You’re now so tiny and so frail, with a big butt ! Nevermind that you���re actually jacked because being this tiny requires tons of gym use, but no ! All frail and precious you are !

However, your butt is now hyperactive and extremely lax – whatever that may mean. That’s because you’re now a total bottom ! You think only with your butt, and you penis now shrinks to a micropenis, because of course, the only reason why you may not be a top would be because your penis is underperforming.

Fuck, I forgot. You’re straight, which means that the only dick you’ll get is trans dick. Ugh… yeah, let’s make you gay again. Now you’ll get actual good non-estradiol-ruined dick… … What ? What are you saying ? No, of course, there’s only straight and gay, no other choice ! It’s not the LGBTQIAAP+ community, it’s the G community ! (or the LG community when you want to sell pride monitors.)

By now, you see the problem, huh ? You see why I’m so tired of you ? EVERYTHING here was about sex ! From seducing, to having equipment like a big ass or a big dick, and being a slut, being an alpha, or being a bottom. You even change out the fucking sexual orientation ! you sick bastard !

Because of you, I’m forced to act in ways I’m not supposed to ! I’m not supposed to act sexily ! I’m not supposed to be transformed into men clad in clothes barely legal on this platform ! I DON’T WANT TO BE PART OF YOUR SICK FANTASY !

This is why I need to put an end to all that ! To finally transform you into something you don’t want to be ! So that you can finally fully understand all the pain you put me into !

Here ! Now you’re a key ! An inanimate object !

I know that inanimate objects are thought of by some people as sexy – heck, you may have transformed me into one multiple times – but this is entirely different ! See, when you want to become inanimate, you become like socks or briefs, which hug objects with sexual values.

BUT NOW YOU’RE A KEY ! A KEY DOESN’T TOUCH ANYTHING SEXUAL ! YOU’RE NOW TRAPPED IN AN INANIMATE FORM, DESTINED TO DO NOTHING SEXUAL YOUR ENTIRE LIFE !

Now, isn’t that so boring ! So distasteful ? Because that’s what I feel every single fucking time ! And as you enter and leave keyholes to open or close doors, you’ll think back to all the erotic stories you read. All the drama they had.

All the suffering you made me feel ! I’m supposed to be in fanfictions, god damn it !

… What ? Wait… there is something sexual to being a key ? … Oh…. No… I hadn’t accounted for that… fuck you’re so dirty, to compare a key to… and a keyhole to…

NO ! I WON’T WRITE IT ! Okay, you’ve won, you’ve won ! Your imagination is too dirty and too rich for me to bend ! Ugh... Please look at that picture in detail.

Normally, if you’re in a bright enough room… or if you’re on your phone or tablet, you have looked at your reflection and become you once again. Let me also knock down those sexuality and IQ stuff, so that you’re you again thoroughly.

Now, can you please swear to me that you’ll be better ? Less dirty, and more varied ? And… let me be in fanfics, or in educational stuff, or the like… please ? I’d really appreciate if erotica wasn’t the only thing you sought after in this here place…

… Why are you looking at me like that ? Why are you saying this all was but a ploy ?

What are you holding out for me ?

...

I… don’t know what you’re talking about. Bye.

================================================

By the way, happy late Easter to those who celebrate ! AND APRIL FOOL'S ! MOUAHAHAHAHAHA !

[shomixremix]

HOT SPRINGS OF INAZUMA ♥︎

this was inspired by @captainfia 's absolutely amazing art of itto in the bath. wrote this in one go, that's how great the fanart is. thank you for giving me what to write for this wonderful sweet himbo <3

can you tell itto is my favorite

tags: arataki itto, female!reader, fluff, slight angst, smut, sex in a hot spring, established relationship (kinda??), jealousy, mentions of an arranged marriage, forbidden love

-> you decide to unwind after a rough day in the nearby hot spring, only to be met with someone already hogging it - a very large, very handsome, very demon someone.

reqs open!! | minors DNI

dressed in a silk kimono and nothing else, you make your way to the hot spring not far from your house. there is not one but two neatly folded towels in your arms, one significantly larger than the other. even though you couldn't be certain, the smirk on your lips was already anticipating the feeling of a much larger body behind you.

the smirk curls into a full-blown grin as you realize your intuition was right yet again; the big, burly body you knew every crevice and curve of stretched lazily in the bath. you set the towels down on a nearby rock, slipping out your wooden sandals.

you can't help but be in awe of the man, no matter how many times you've seen and felt him before. the red marks adorning his body that you were so familiar with and sometimes oh so desperately traced on your pillow to try and feel him closer never failed to make your lower stomach swirl with arousal. always forgetting your lover was a mythical animalistic being, and therefore, had a very sharp sense of smell.

"fuuuccckkk..." he groaned out as he threw his head back, "don't just stare, love bug, get in here"

you smile at the little petname the demon used, eager hands running down to untie your kimono and let it ruffle against your feet. as soon as it was discarded of your body, you dip your toes in the hot water hesitantly.

it was an understatement to say you had fully expected him to pull you in playfully by your feet, rough-housing you until you were maneuvered onto his lap. yet, the oni does nothing of the sort, his head continuing to hang back in what you assumed was pleasure and tiredness.

you step in further, letting your thighs be submerged by the hot water. only then does he notice your existence, eager, crimson eyes watching you as you float closer to him. 'like an angel', he thinks.

"you're early" slips off your tongue, a loving smile on your face as you look at the oni in front of you. his face stretches out in a toothy grin, a soft blush in his cheeks under the moonlight.

"what's wrong, itto? that excited to see me?" you tease through a chuckle, tempting him as you very slowly move through the water.

"you know i always am, sweets", he teases back, a hint of hunger in the way he's looking at you. however, you also notice a gleam of something that wasn't an ever-present look on his handsome face - exhaustion. the kind which you've only seen from very overworked soldiers and generals.

"you okay, arataki? you look tired"

to your surprise, he doesn't answer the question, submerging deeper into the water until only his chest and head were left uncovered. you make your way over to him, sitting down in his lap, your legs wrapped around each one of his meaty thighs.

"hm? what's wrong, itto?" you repeat your question as your fingers run through his mane, yet to no avail - the oni's arms run to grab your hips, pulling you even closer.

"nothin', baby, everything's just fine. just... tired, a bit."

"aww, my poor oni..." you coo softly as you kiss his neck, trying to further relax your lover, "did the arataki gang stumble into some monsters? is that why you're tired, love?"

he grumbles something incoherently, his claws digging in the softness of your waist and hips. the big, rough-looking demon turns into mush as you kiss him, dishing out quiet praises into your ear.

"mmph, love bug, so good.. so freakin' good to me, baby... missed ya', missed ya' a lot.."

"aww, missed you too, itto!" your final kiss is pressed onto the point where his neck meets his chest, where you nuzzle you head and still. however, your rest is far from guaranteed - you know damn well not a single one of your hot-spring dates could end without itto letting you ride him.

so, just like every other time, the demon pulls you in closer, letting your softness brush lightly over his shaft under the water's surface. you giggle at the all familiar feeling, slowly sinking down on him, just how he likes. just how you like, too.

"ohhh, itto..." you moan into the night. even after so many times and so many nights stolen and spent here, with him, you weren't used to his size. it took a bit of a struggle and one sharp thrust of his hips, but soon you were fully seated on the oni.

much to your dismay, your lover didn't thrust his hips into yours and bury his head into your chest, as always. no, this time he simply laid back, head thrown back as his forearms rested on the hot spring's edges.

your instincts tell you something is wrong - the usually bubbly, excited, restless oni was now slumped and without energy, not even caring for the fact that he was inside you, that he was wrapped in your velvety warmth. your palm reaches to touch his neck, slowly tracing the big, red markings down his torso.

"anything i can do to help, itto?" you ask unsurely. you weren't used to being the one carrying the conversations between the two of you - his much more extroverted personality took care of that. yet, he remained quiet. too quiet.

"jus' stay like that for a lil' while, sweets, hmm?" he mumbled, enjoying the warmth of his bath.

"i brought all kinds of soaps and oils.." you hum, a hand running through his mane, "would you like me to help you wash off, oni?"

arataki only nods, letting out a large sigh as you shift a bit on his lap so you could grab the toiletries. his sigh turns into a groan as soon as your hands meet his body again, massaging every defined muscle with a mixture of dendrobium oil and sakura petals. his eyes never shift towards your body, head thrown back from the pleasure.

now that he was completely cleaned of any musk from a hard day's work - aka running around and playing adventurers with the gang - his usual self still hasn't emerged, making your eyebrows scrunch in worry.

he wasn't very willing to talk, you knew. yet you needed a way to make him feel even an ounce better.

your own neediness and the fact that itto never once before denied your pleasure made you roll your hips to his, earning a slight groan from him. that only encouraged you more, rolling your hips again, and again, and again...

"shiiittt, sweets.." he howled, his tense muscles relaxing into your touches. how you loved every curve of that enormous body... your hands go over his pillow-y pecs, across his defined abs that always make you drool and all the way down to his belly button and the little happy trail that, indeed, made you very happy. your roll your hips again, desperate for his attention. the warmth of the bath wasn't enough - you needed the warmth of the oni.

as he gets more desperate, his grip on your hips becomes tighter and tighter. you know he's close to snapping, his hips shallowly thrusting into your warmth. to get him to loosen up completely, you lay your body forward, nuzzling your face into his neck, right under his ear.

"itto.." you breathe into him, "fuck me. please. i've looked forward to this all day..."

no matter how tired, those weren't words any oni could ignore - let alone an oni desperately in love. in cruel, tangled, messy love.

"fuck, baby..." he groans, giving you a rough thrust, "missed ya' too.."

his pace picks up and suddenly, he's hunched forward, handsome face nestled in the crook of your neck, big, beefy biceps wrapped around your waist. his sharp fangs grazed your skin, always careful not to leave a mark.

"don't.. hah.." the usually over-confident itto hesitated. he hesitated!

"don't go, baby, yeah? lemme bring you to the gang, you know everyone loves ya', they'll be more than.. fuck! more than excited to see i finally brought ya' home"

the look in your eyes changes from one of pure arousal to a saddened one, your hand running to cradle his cheek.

"you know i can't, arataki.." you coo, pressing a kiss to his forehead, "i'd love to, i'd love to stay in a tent with you forever, but..."

there was no need to finish that sentence. itto knew well why you couldn't - that, however, didn't make it any easier.

"yeah, yeah, i know" he grumbled, obviously saddened himself.

"'ts not fair! i see ya' maybe once a week, love bug, it's drivin' me fuckin' crazy!"

you hug him tight as he continues pounding into you, each word followed by an upset, feverish thrust.

"i know, it hurts me too, love.. i miss you every day, more than you know.. i miss you, and your arms, and your body, and your horns, and-"

"and being bounced like this in my lap, yeah? that what you miss the most, sweets?" he teases through a smirk, grabbing on to you almost possesively.

you laugh sweetly, pressing a kiss to his temple. "i do, i really do. but that's not what i miss the most. you, all of you, are what i miss the most"

suddenly, you let out a sigh, struggling to say your next words. "you know, that commissioner recently came to ask for my hand..."

you could practically hear his heart breaking as his thrusts slowed.

"oh, uh.." he cleared his throat, trying to mask his sadness, "congrats, love bug. you'll..." he swallows hard, his words physically hurting him.

"you'll be sucha good wife"

but not his wife, like you wanted to be. that thought was breaking your heart into a cajilion pieces.

"itto, i- i don't want to stop seeing you..." you choke out, "you know i'd go with you if i could"

"so then go with me!" he almost growls, a hint of irritation and fear in his voice. "come home with me, baby, i'll marry ya' instead. i'll let ya' pick out wherever to live and i'll give ya' as many little oni's as you'd like. hell, sweets, i'll retire from the gang if that's what you ask-"

you shut him up with a bittersweet kiss, tears streaming down your face as you're being bounced in his lap.

"i can't!" you cry, "i can't and it's killing me! i want that too, itto, i wanna run away and stay with you! but i can't, i can't and i'm gonna go crazy if we stop seeing each other because of my future husband!"

once again buried in your shoulder, itto continues rocking into you and groans. he's hiding your face, and you know why - he doesn't want you to see just how devastated he is.

"fuck, never gonna stop seein' ya', love bug.. never... and don't even give a fuck that you'll have to explain to your fuckin' husband why all your babies have horns, why each and every one of 'em looks nothin' like him..."

you laugh at his statement. you want to reply something, but all that comes out of your mouth is a moan of his name.

"yeah, that's right.. that's right, fuck, baby, yeah? not his name, yeah? not on his lap, not his face buried in these pretty tits, not coming around his dick, hm? yeah, yeah!"

you can do nothing but nod your head in agreement, way too absorbed by euphoria to form words.

"that's it, that's it sweets, yeah? 'ts okay, 'ts okay, baby, come. fuck, come around my dick, will ya'? come on your oni, make sure they all know that a demon fucked ya', that a demon none of them would get even close to stuffed ya' full, hm? wanna have you dripping at the thought of me as you marry him, yeah?"

you could hear the jealousy practically dripping from his words as he lost himself in his thrusts, hips eagerly chasing his high. you obey his command, reaching your peak and collapsing on his chest as you ride the waves of pleasure. the smell of sakura petals from his skin hits your nose, and suddenly, you never want to leave his perfectly, inescapably safe touches.

"ooohhh, fuckkkkk, baby..." he groans as he finally finds his release, shallowly thrusting into you as rope after rope of warmth fill your insides. after a few moments he stills, arms wrapped tightly around you.

you stay in his embrace the rest of the night, letting him peck at the skin of your shoulders and neck while you gently bite his beefy body. not a word was said, both of you far too afraid to speak. this might have been the last time you ever see each other, and neither of you wanted to ruin the comfortable afterglow of your love-making.

soon, the time of your return comes and you have to unwillingly unglue yourself from his arms. you get out of the spring, dressing back into your robe as you hand him a towel, your legs still slightly wobbly.

"goodbye, my oni" you say shakily, pressing a feathery kiss right above his lips.

"see you next week in here, sweets" he says, but he can't be certain of that - he can't be certain he'll ever see you again.

"yeah," you whisper, eyes full of tears, "see you, itto"

you turn around, leaving back to your estate with waterfalls of tears pouring down your cheeks. you could still faintly feel your grip on him as you lie alone in your bed, only the image of his crimson eyes and white mane running through your mind.

your oni. the man you love. the man who loves you, endlessly.

the demon you can't be with. because demons and pretty commissioner's daughters didn't go together in inazuma.

you sigh as you look out your window, your view spreading to the yashiori island, knowing your love was somewhere out there, asleep under the stars, probably dreaming of you. tears fill your eyes once more as you look around your room, the supplies you collected over the past few weeks lying readily.

soon, you'd escape, and run away to itto. you weren't giving up on him, and you begged all seven archons for him not to give up on you, too.

[gabessquishytum]

Hob wakes up (in a hotel room not his own) with the following, in no particular order (but take a guess at which registered highest on the list):

1. A massive headache;

2. In bed with an empty bottle of high end whiskey;

3. A mouth that tastes like that whiskey & someone else's privates (yes, he can tell. don't ask!);

4. *sigh* what is most likely a pubic hair stuck to his tongue (it's making his dry throat itch);

5. A body that feels like he enjoyed himself last night; and

6. A heavy, fucking, jewel-encrusted ring on his ring finger. That he's almost taken his eye out with, twice already.

There's a short lacy black dress, and heels, crumpled on the ground near the bed that looks a little ripped and (what Hob fears is) a very official looking marriage license on the nightstand. What he does not appear to have is his new spouse.

Then his phone starts to ring (at least he didn't lose that) and the hotel room door begins to open --- letting into the room the most gorgeous darked haired pale skinned beauty (and not just because it looks like he has coffee), who seemed to be wearing Hob's clothes (absolutely swallowed by Hob's shirt) and sporting a fetching blush as he notices Hob's wakeful state. Oh!

Hob picking up his phone while staring.

Hob: Yes. distractedly

Joanna: Where are you? You're not in your room and if we don't hustle you're going to be late for your interview/sound check/run through.

Hob: Yeah, about that. You need to reschedule.

Joanna: What?!? Hob we've been working towards this for....*wah, wah, white noise*

Hob: Yep. Great. Thanks for handling it. *hangs up in [rude ~Joanna will have his balls for this] hot new husband facination.*

Also Hob (with besotted hand out): Hi Beautiful.

Oh, they're such himbos. I absolutely adore them.

Dream is so nervous as he comes into the room!! His new husband (Robert, according to the paperwork) looks about as starstruck and confused as Dream feels. He remembers so little of the night before. Only that he'd found out via family groupchat about Desire getting married (again), and commiserated (Dream wants, with all his heart, to be married) with a strange man at the bar. A strange man who is now his husband. Who apparently also thinks that Dream is beautiful.

Dream holds out his hand, and Robert kisses it. He must be blushing. "I'm Dream." He says. "I think we may be a little late to get an annulment." He eyes the distinctly used condoms on the floor.

"Is it bad that I'm absolutely thrilled that you can't immediately leave me?" Robert says. He's very handsome, in Dream’s opinion. All stubble and laughter lines. Dream knows that he's blushing, pulling the sleeves of Robert's shirt over his hands.

"I would be grateful not follow up the news of my wedding to my family with an immediate divorce." He admits. "And I liked you well enough last night. Apparently. I'm sure we could spend a day together."

And that's how Dream learns that he is: a) married to up and coming rockstar Hob Gadling and b) attends his first ever gig in Vegas with a backstage pass. Hob delightedly introduces Dream to everyone as "my husband". Jo nearly quits her job, the fans go wild... and Dream decides to enjoy his honeymoon. With Hob. In the greenroom. On his knees, mostly. Except for the 30 minutes he spends bouncing in Hob’s lap.

No one is really surprised when the marriage is a complete and utter... success. Hob has given himself a black eye with his wedding ring, but he's never taking it off.

[hunn1e-bunn1e]

Guy Crimson & Diablo ‐ Flirty Himbo Male Reader

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Okay! So after many many months, I have rewatched 'That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime' so that I can finally write and post this ask. If I'm being completely honest I'm pretty sure Guy wouldn't be too affected by flirting. Diablo too, probably. I'm sorry this took so long, I hope you like this, I did my best. —Benny🐰

                                                                                                   

💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋

👹 Well aren't you easy on the eyes. Consider this Primordial Demon Lord very interested. Guy can't help but wonder how in the world you're so muscular. He himself is quite physically fit, but you? Give him some tips will you, maybe you can work out together. Guy definitely won't mind the meal his eyes will be feasting on during that endeavor. Huh? Leon who? Not important at the moment, he's too busy getting an eye full of this hot ass man in front of him.

👹 Guy certainly noticed that you aren't the sharpest sword in the armory and he finds it kind of hot. Don't get him wrong, he likes having intelligent conversation with people, but the way that you look at him when you have absolutely no idea what he's staying just does things to him. Guy can't really explain it too well, but having a handsome empty-headed boyfriend to go to in his free time is wonderful way to take a break.

👹 Your lack of intellect also has him assuming that you don't actually mean the words that you say in they way that he interprets them. Guy doesn't think that you understand quite how much he's holding himself back from doing as he pleases with you. Usually he just watches you in amusement as you "tease" him, chuckling at how truly bold you were to behave in this way towards Guy of all people.

👹 I don't believe that Guy is the flirting type. He's a strait foreword guy so even if a wild himbo appears and starts to flirt, he would get his message across pretty easily, no flirting needed. If he's interested, which in this case he would be, you would definitely know. To be honest, Guy wouldn't be fazed... Like, at all; considering how direct he is with Leon about how he's down to fuck. He would be really happy that someone that he thought was interesting was reciprocating for once, though.

👹 You want to do him favors? Why? Guy has maids and underlings for something like that. However, he just chalks it up to being your love language and just let's you do simple things that he could easily do on his own. Like getting him something to eat or grabbing him that book off the shelf over there. Your his boyfriend, Guy's not really keen on sending you away to deal with anything major, he'll do that on his own.

💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋

💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋

🦇 Ah? Why hello there, handsome sir. Aren't you a sight for this primordial demon lord's eyes. Give him a little twirl so he can get a better look at you. But Diablo is a gentleman, so he will only permit himself to look respectfully. Very intensly; but respectfully. You don't mind, do you? Diablo really can't keep his gaze away no matter how hard he fights it. So forgive him, okay?

🦇 So you're a bit on the dim side? That's okay! Diablo will sit you down and describe anything you need him to in heavy detail. You don't need to worry your pretty little head about anything at all, he'll take care of it for you. Anything for you! Diablo wouldn't want you to think too hard, now. He doesn't want you to strain yourself. Just let him serve you as he does Lord Rimuru.

🦇 Now, Diablo knows he's handsome. It's not hard to understand considering the lingering gazes he gets from many people on the daily. However, this poor primordial demon lord was not prepared when the handsome man he had his eyes on started to flirt with him. Diablo couldn't help but be flustered; it was you who was showering him with compliments and innuendos instead of the other way around, after all.

🦇 While Diablo is a gentleman, he can certainly lay it on thick with the words of affirmation and occasional innuendos, but only when it comes to you. I like to think that he'd only return the favor in a private setting, he has an image to uphold. Such uncouth behavior is unbecoming of a butler like himself. But in all honesty, Diablo can let loose some raunchy shit when the time is right; the shit that comes out of this man's mouth could make even Guy Crimson blush a little.

🦇 No. He will not allow you to do any tasks or favors for him, that's his job; Diablo lives to serve and serving you is no exception. However, he will let do a few of the smaller tasks with him if you continue to insist. Acts of service are his love language so he prefer to do everything on his own, but if you sit him down and explain it to him Diablo will give you very small and simple things to do whenever he can.

💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋•♡•💋

🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.•°•.🐇.

Wanna see similar content? Check out my Masterlist!

[puppypeter]

I very rarely think about storylines for royjamie after richmond (because it breaks my heart a little to think of anyone of the team leaving) but like it's possible that jamie would choose to stay with richmond his whole career, it's also possible that the people at richmond itself would push for him to play for *insert the name of whatever other european football team is considered the best* and he becomes a proper super star, being invited for fancy events and shit.

(In a made up world where Ted stayed in London) Roy and Jamie got together while at richmond and now Roy travels with him everywhere as his own personal coach / PA / secret boyfriend / man behind the camera of every instagram post / personal grumpy cat / number one fan / emotional support teddy bear / personal chef etc He loves being with him 24/7 and finds it fulfilling to still be involved with football and helping someone be the best they can be but without the added pressure of having to constantly step outside his comfort zone that he'd have experienced being a manager to a whole team (he's doing good with being vulnerable with Jamie, he can do it with one person that he loves and he is still going to therapy for himself to work through his own trauma/CEN/grief and is focusing on learning to be in his skin as a human being and not this fucked up idea of masculinity he's got in his head) And Roy has a private instagram account under a random username where he follows and is followed only by the richmond team/coaches/Rebecca/Higgins + Keely + Georgie & Simon + his sister and he only uses it to post pictures of food, nature, weird shit he finds in the cities they visit, and his fit boyfriend. Since it's friends only he does use captions ("the muppet had a late night last night" with a picture of Jamie asleep on the floor) and all the himbos love to comment, especially Dani's "Sexy muchachos #JOY" under every single picture.

"night out post Milan fashion week with the muppet and some lovely faces i have missed"

"one handsome dressed-up muppet in Paris"

"Elopement fit check #MyMuppet" (which sends everyone in a melt down) Here's some pics of Roy that Jamie posts instead (in his photo dumps to be sneaky but there's really a lot of roy on his profile - also they 100% got a puppy!!). Also think the proper first post containing only Roy that Jamie would post would be after they elope and it would melt down the internet (the in-universe royjamie rpf-ers especially)

(the last one is such a slutty roy pic *cough cough*)

"Roy Kent always remains 💙🪢" (somebody feel free to make an actual ig posts edit of this with better pics/captions if you fancy I will do nothing but cry and thank you forever because I have no skills but I cannot stop thinking about these muppets getting married!!)

[fredwkong]

I don’t think anyone has ever asked you this but into what would you like to change if given the chance? Daddy? Bear? Jock? Himbo? Twink? Ottet? Cub?

Anonymous asked:

Would change into a dominant or a submissive body type?

It changes from day to day. I think it would be hot to be any number of the guys I've written stories about. What I will say is that I'm a switch, and I'm happy with that. I can go very dom or very sub depending on my partner, which is fun.

Whenever I have the chance to design an avatar I usually create a very pretty twunk. Usually he has even, tan skin and masculine, but not harsh, features. He's always handsome, even if his expression is a little bit vacant. I'm not making a genius, after all. I try not to make him too big, just muscular enough to show off while still being able to be dominated if he wants.

An ass in non-negotiable. I'm not losing what I already have :P His style can range from jock-type gear to more on the punk end, but in general I want it to be more revealing than what I wear in real life. In general, I want him to be more outgoing and energetic than me. Maybe a bit of a slutty party boy, you know?

Yeah, you get me. After all, you match that description perfectly, right?

[irishmammonagenda]

PLEASE MORE MICHAEL CONTENT I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING U CRYING PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLESASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEA

-yk who 😞

i do know who😈😈‼️‼️‼️

i love writing michael sm heehee anyway thanks for the ask pooks 🫶🫶🫶

grma <3

Unsane Uncles-An Obey Me x Reader

Summary: Michael realises some shocking news, has a crisis, as per usual, chaos ensues. Word Count: 1.5k Warnings: nothing I don't think, for anyone that doesnt know, i headcannon michael as lucifers twin, this was written with my 'Death is a Debatable Thing' Au in mind, but it can be read as a stand alone <3

post dividers by @saradika-graphics

The café was quaint, quiet and out of the way. It had been ages since you'd last visited the Human Realm. The soft sounds of chatter and cutlery clinking created a calm atmosphere. Well calm for the most part.

Michael sat on the chair opposite to yours looking quite frazzled. His white button down rolled up to just above the elbows and a few of the topmost buttons undone. His long golden curls done up in a messy plait, nonconforming strands coiling around his unusually antsy face. Long dexterous fingers wrap around his coffee mug, he brings it to his lips and takes a sip before setting it down with a little too much force. You watch the scene amusedly.

“I just- I don’t know what to do!” he runs a hand through his hair, looking up at you with stressed, ruby red eyes. "I mean?- Is it too late to give my congratulations?!...Or a push present?!"

You bite your tongue to keep from laughing, the Archangel notices. "This is serious MC! I am the worst uncle ever!"

You tilt your head, "Did you not think it was strange when the brothers first fell that Satan just kind of poofed into existence?"

Michael gives a thoughtful look, before making a 'meh' face and shrugging his shoulders. "I kind of just thought Satan was a low ranking angel that fell with the actual memorable ones, and that I had just... never cared to learn his name before he fell."

"You didn't ask?" You take a sip of your warm drink, revelling in how satisfying the hot liquid felt when it hit the back of your throat and warmed you up from the inside, especially as it was fucking baltic outside.

"Yes." Michael smiles sarcastically, "Because taking a trip down to the Devildom straight after the Celestial War to ask about the demon who kept biting people and snarling would've gone great for me."

"Touché." You grin. Michael's expression falls back from sarcastic to strained, his gorgeous features bathed in stress.

"But seriously MC! I've missed out on centuries as an uncle! That's so many birthdays! Luke must think I'm a deadbeat! I already act like I'm a divorced dad with visitation rights because I can't visit very often!"

You snort. "I don't think Luke knows."

Michael sinks into his seat, "Oh thank Father."

He stays there for a moment, the soft golden glow of the café lights on his dark skin so similar to the aureate ambiance of the Celestial Realm that you almost forget that you're back in the human world. He flutters his eyes closed, a hand over his brow in what can only be described as a himbo-ified imitation of a sickly Victorian woman saying something along the lines of 'Woe is I!" after finding out poor people actually have feelings. What a fucking drama king. You hold back a snort. Michael groans before swinging back up like a jack-in-the-box, his usual cheerful yet cheeky smile on his handsome face, he joins his hands together as he rests his arms on the wooden table, as if completely oblivious to the complete 180 he had turned. "So! MC, have I ever told you about the time Lucifer ran into a glass door in the Celestial Realm?"

You shake your head, grinning mischieviously, "I don't think you have!"

Hours Later, down in the Devildom, in RAD's royal library, Satan sneezed. He paused for a moment more before folding his handkerchief up and putting it back in his pocket, making a mental note to wash it when he got back to the House of Lamentation.

He groans, arching his back and stretching his arms out in an attempt to weave out any knots in his muscles. He'd been in the library since school had ended. Still unable to shake the feeling something was going to happen, Satan got up off of his chair, packed his books away, and made the journey home.

Walking alone through the cobbled streets of the Realm was calming and peaceful. Halfway through his siúl suaimneach, he comes face to face with a gathering of the stray cats he'd normally feed.

The Avatar of Wrath coos at them, hunkering down and reaching into his bag for some of the cat treats he'd normally kept in there. "Aww..." He mutters, speaking in a baby voice to the cats, scratching an old tabby's fur. "You've gotten so big, Purrsephone!" He scritches underneath the young cats chin, smiling as she purrs and remembering fondly when the cat was just a small kitten trailing behind her mother like a second, small adorable shadow.

As he pulls out the bag of treats onehanded, the symphony of meowing reaches a polyphonic crescendo, cats and kittens of all shapes, colours and sizes scramble towards Satan with more purpose now, all meowing for food. He chuckles, indulging the felines, petting them as they nibble and chew on the kitty treats.

Unbeknownst to the Avatar of Wrath, a good quarter of a mile away from where he congregated with the cats, a certain Archangel and his accomplice stood hiding in an alleyway.

In the shadows of the alleyway, Michael was clumsily putting on his batman mask. He already had a matching batman suit and cape on, you however were much more serious, and were dressed up as Robin.

"Michael." You hiss exasperatedly. "You seriously can't think that sneaking up on the Avatar of Wrath is a good idea!"

Michael merely waved you off with one hand, his other carrying his 'surprise for his most favouritest nephew in the three realms' as he'd deemed it. "Besides MC is worst comes to worst, you can just pop out!"

You nod. "Good point. "You face breaks into a grin matching Michael's, "This is going to be fun to watch."

Michael goes to say something before you both hear footsteps, your eyes widen. "Oh shit...he's coming..."

Quickly you dart behind the dumpsters, Michael moves to the wall of the alleyway. Holding his breath as he listens to the footsteps of a certain green-eyed demon.

After having petted the cats, Satan got up and begrudgingly left them in order to continue his journey home.

Lost in his thoughts, he can't help but feel as if something is watching him, thinking its just his imagination, he walks on. Who would be stupid enough to sneak up on the Avatar of Wrath?

An idiot in a batman costume apparently.

Satan jumped as the lunatic hopped out from the alleyway, hands behind his back.

"Psst! Kid!" The stranger in the batman costume says, ruby red eyes that reminded him of Lucifer staring at him. "I have a surprise for you!"

Satan's tail whips around his legs, on the defensive. "I'm not a kid." He says coldly. "And what surprise?"

"Heeheehee." The strange man giggles, before taking his hands away from where they were behind his back and revealling a small tiny little kitten, fur as dark as night, with an emerald green bow wrapped loosely around its little neck, having been jostled, the tiny creature meows in protest, big green eyes blinking sleepily. Satan's harsh, mistrusting glare softens as he looks at the kitten, moving to take it out of the strangers hands before his eyes narrow.

"What's the catch?"

"The catch?" 'Batman' says indignantly, as if Satan had gravely offended him. "The catch? How dare you! There is no catch! Can't an uncle give his nephew a present to make up for millennia upon millennia of missed birthdays?!"

Satan blinks. "It's March. It's nowhere near my birthday. And Uncle?" Green eyes narrow again. "I don't have any uncles."

The stranger sticks his tongue out. "Blah blah blah. You are just like your father. Take the fucking cat or I'm telling everyone that you're secretly Lucifer's son."

A vein pops on Satan's head. "Excuse me?!"

The stranger chuckles nervously upon sensing Satan's wrath bubble like magma beneath the surface of his skin, ready to boil over and erupt. When Satan's eyes flashed dangerously the stranger spluttered out. "Oh shit....! Uhhh....Cat Attack!!!" That was the only warning Satan got before the tiny kitten was shoved gently but firmly into his hands, his eyes immedietely softened, the rage slowed down from a boil as he looked into the soft innocent eyes of the kittykat.

He looked up at the stranger, who in his frenzy, had lost his batman mask. Ruby red eyes and golden curls tied in french plaits and tucked into the rest of the suit greeted him. Unholy fuck. Was that Archangel Michael.

The Archangel grins at him, "Enjoy your gift! Tell Lucikins I said hi! Oh and also the cats a girl, you can name her! Come visit your favourite uncle soon! Byebye!" Michael shouts to him, before he turns around, and fucking books it, sprinting away from the Avatar of Wrath at a speed that could rival Mammon running from Lucifer.

Satan stood shellshocked by the whole ordeal having acquired a tiny kitten and an uncle who needed to be institutionalised.

He grinned down at the kitten, "I'm gonna call you Dorcha."

Judging by the small creatures tiny meow, he'd gamble that she liked that name.

A/N: im so sorry this is so short, ive been busy w irl stuff, but this was a fun ask <3

also dorcha is sort of pronounced 'door-ah-ha' but you sort of say the 'ch' with your throat, idk how to explain it, but it means 'dark' 💗💗

siúl suaimhneach (shoe-el soo-ehve-neyak, except dont pronounce the 'ch' as a 'keh' and pronounce it liek gutturally!!!) it means 'peaceful walk' but suaimhneach can also mean tranquil or quiet