#non ace arospec

[demiro-allosexual-culture-is]

Demiromantic non-ace culture is wishing there were more demiromantic symbols that aren't solely acespec ones.

[thermodynamic-comedian]

hello, tumblr user. before you is an aromantic character. they have never expressed any hint of asexuality. your task is simple: do not refer to them as an "aroace" or get mad at people writing smut about them. the duration of this task is the rest of your life. if you fail at any point in the future, i will personally shoot you.

good luck.

[redysetdare]

The response to "ace people are just virgins who can't get laid!" Shouldn't be "ace people can still have sex!" but instead " being a virgin isn't a bad thing."

The response to "aro people are just heartless freaks!" Shouldn't be "aro people can still feel love!" And instead be "not feeling love or other emotions doesn't make you a bad person."

Instead of pushing the idea that aspec people can be "normal like allos" we should instead be trying to normalize aspec experiences. Yes aspec people can be normal because aspec identities are normal. Some aros fall in love. some aces have sex. but they should not be the only valid aspec experiences. We should not use these experiences to make the aspec identity more palatable to amatonormativity and allos.

[aromantic-allosexual]

aromanticism deserves to be celebrated outside of the context of asexuality.

aromanticism deserves to be accepted and discussed without even mentioning asexuality.

aromantic allosexuality deserves to be celebrated.

aromanticism, on its own, with nothing else added, is fucking awesome.

[archivomeow]

can we just all collectively agree that it is okay for aroace characters not to date or have sex if they clearly show no interest in it or repulsion?

can we respect that and not ship them?

or are yall too deep into amatonormativity…???

[3jane-rosen]

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[arofulboyfriend]

obviously you should respect the original tags on any post you reblog, like if you reblog an aroallo's post don't tag it as asexual because that's rude and erasing OPs identity (unless they say it's okay of course), but if someone makes their own post and tags it as aromantic but it's talking about sex instead of romance, that's not mistagging, and you should believe them when they say that their relationship with sex is a part of their romantic orientation, because it probably is.

not all aspecs use the SAM nor are they required to pretend to do so for your comfort. believe aspecs when they say their experiences are tied to their identity, even if it isn't the same identity you would use, I'm begging you.

[twigstarpikachutroll22]

Reblog for something aspec to happen to you this summer

[moss-opossum]

I am really not a fan of "love is love" as a slogan for the queer community. It centers queerness as romantic/sexual interest in other people, and to me feels like it’s inherently ignoring or even excluding intersex people, gender variant people, aspec people, and people with intersecting queer identities. It sanitises queerness into a form that’s easily consumed by a perisexist/endosexist, allonornative, amatonormative, cisnormative culture, instead of critiquing the harm those structures cause.

“Love is love” takes the focus away from important pieces of queer history and culture, such as drag queens, butches, trans folk, and other gender variant or fluid identities. With a slogan like “love is love”, it becomes easier to imagine every queer person as looking straight or at the very most slightly camp, and just happening to be attracted to and wanting to marry someone of the same gender, with a little wiggle room for polyamorous people too.

I think it just becomes a form of respectability politics. Queerness ought to be about accepting and embracing other ways of Being, not making a little extra wedge of space for certain people in an oppressive framework that still demands gender conformity and adherence to certain relationship rules, and still pathologises intersex and aspec people. It ought to be about tearing down that framework so it’s safe for people to be however they want or need to be — regardless of whether or not that falls within what was acceptable in the original framework.

Queer culture and queer liberation are intersectional, they always have been, saying “love is love” just feels like whitewashing it away.

[entropy-sea-system]

Do not assume what kinds of relationships aromantics do or do not want. Do not assume friendship is universal. Do not imply that the only connections aros can have are friendship just bc you think all aros are plato favorable, romance averse, ace, and sex averse.

Do not imply that every aro must want and immensely value friendship bc its 'the only thing left other than romance and I assume sex is out of the equation'. Aplatonic and/or plato averse or nonfriending aros exist. We matter. Aros who are romance favorable and/or experience some romantic attraction exist.

Aros who are sex favorable and/or alloaro or are otherwise not ace exist. There are other relationship types than the ones I mention in this post, such as qpr's. Don't forget aros who may not fit your ideas of what an aro person looks like.

[Do not fucking add your commentary on how you like friendship or whatever. You're allowed to like friendship obviously! Just maybe try to give a shit about ppl who don't, and don't fucking derail when we talk about our experiences. Make your own damn post or literally add on the numerous posts about liking friendship. I don't care if this post makes you sad for some reason. Alloplatonics and/or Plato favorable ppl you can rb but don't clown.]

Reblog this edited version instead of the original please!

[thermodynamic-comedian]

it really sometimes feels like i'm asking the aspec community "do you guys like actually respect aromantics?" and the answer everytime without fail is just "yeah!! we love aroaces!!"

[klavierpanda]

A reminder that 1) asexuality and aromanticism are spectra, there isn't an allo/a binary, and 2) the repulsed/favourible spectrum isn't reserved for the use of aspec people. It is possible to be allosexual and be sex averse or alloromantic and romance repulsed. "Attraction doesn't necessarily mean action" also applies to allos and I wish that was more widely accepted because it would save a lot of allos a lot of hassle. I just didn't expect to have to point either of these put to the aspec community

[aroaceconfessions]

so you know how a lot of queer people grow up in a homophobic and purity obsessed environment? i feel like i almost had the opposite. i grew up in a relatively sex positive household with decent enough sex ed at school. abstinence was never pushed on me. i didn't grow up feeling like there was anything wrong with queerness... unless that queerness was aromanticism and asexuality. yes, i was lucky to grow up in an open minded household, but that doesn't mean i had a perfect childhood. no matter if you grew up in a conservative environment or an open minded one, if you're an aspec kid, you gonna get fucked up.

if you grew up conservative, it might seem like a virtue at first. you're one of the "good" kids because you're not interesting in dating, you're perfectly happy to "wait" because you don't understand what the rush is. until you become an adult and suddenly you're hounded with questions. why don't you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? who are you going to marry? when are you going to marry? when you get married you'll be able to have lots of sex, as a reward for waiting. what do you mean you don't actually want sex? that's unnatural. you need to reproduce. now it's no longer a good thing to be disinterested. there is something wrong with you.

if you grew up in an open minded environment, it's very isolating. from my experience at least, you're hyperaware that everyone else is experiencing these feelings that you don't, and everyone is saying how normal it is, all teenagers have these feelings. you're not interested in boys? it's okay to like girls. look how progressive we are. why do you still look lost? who do you have a crush on? when are you going to start dating? why can't you be a normal teenager? you'll understand when you're older. sex is a normal and expected part of being an adult. why do you look uncomfortable? when are you going to lose your virginity? virginity is shameful. it means you're ugly. what a loser.

so yeah. i guess i'm lucky to grow up in the household i did. i'm trans and so grateful my family is supportive. but they don't know about my aroaceness. it's the part of my identity that makes me feel the least safe. i feel like i have the opposite problem of an allo person who grew up conservative. i'm an aspec person who grew up in an environment where sex was seen as normal and healthy to the point that not being interested was seen as abnormal and unhealthy. no matter what, aspec kids are shamed. the best case scenario would be a gay kid growing up in the latter situation. there is no best case scenario for aspec kids. and there won't be until aromanticism and asexuality are given widespread awareness and acceptance.

Submitted May 13, 2023

[citnamora]

Happy Arospec Awareness Week! 🔆

[ugly-anarchist]

Ace-centric aspecs will literally call alloaros "violently aphobic" for politely asking to be included and to stop pretending like we don't exist

Who cares that I constantly get kicked out of aspec spaces for being alloaro and talking about my sexuality

Who cares that I have people in real life constantly be like "you're ace right?" When I've mentioned being aro before

Who cares that other aspecs tell me that I'm invading their spaces

Who cares that other aspecs throw me under the bus as an argument against exclusionists

Who cares that 90% of alloaros don't know they're alloaro because they either don't know what aro is or assume they have to be ace to be aro

Who cares that aces constantly derail every single non-ace aspec post to make it all about them and erase every single trace of alloaros

Who cares that people specifically want me to be ace because having sexual attraction without romantic attraction is disgusting and shameful and it makes them more comfortable if I lack attraction completely

Who cares that every single aromantic character in media is immediately assumed to be aroace and my representation is seen as "lesser" and unimportant compared to asexual representation

Who cares that the aro flag is constantly left out of pride merch lineups because either people don't know what it is or assume the ace flag is enough

Who cares, right? Who cares that I don't feel safe in either the aspec or the allox2 queer communities?

You can't separate aro and ace so clearly that means you get to tell me I'm aphobic for saying that I don't want to be called aroace.

Fuck me, right? Clearly it's a lot to ask that people just make an effort to include non-ace aros in aro posts that apply to us. Clearly it's too much to ask that non-ace aros just don't fucking derail OUR explicitly alloaro posts to make it about them, right?

Clearly alloaros are the aphobic ones for asking the most represented part of the community to stop actively silencing us.

I'm just a violent aphobe who's disgusted by the mere existence of aroaces.

No no no. Aroace are the victims because I *checks notes* asked them not to contribute to my oppression.

[thebrokenabyss]

Being aspec automatically makes you 10x cooler btw

I don’t make the rules