#normal is going through his ptsd sonic arc

[mj-thrush-gxn]

yall… just finished the epilogue- normal oh my god.

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Hey! just saw your ask opening. I wanted to send prompt for Stony for marvel fics. New couple Steve/Tony,2012 Avengers. Top Tony / bottom Steve. very new relationship for Tony. Steve demands attention, pouts if Tony is late. Makes Tony eat and sleep. Always makes breakfast for Tony, takes lunch to his office sometimes. Changes things in the penthouse just a coushion or a painting and decorating. Tony feels its finally a home. Jarvis and bots treat Steve like the first lady of the tower. 1/3

Prompt Continued: Tony takes care of Steve, takes him out reintroduces him to New York, the world. Is always open for PDA. Makes Steve blush, Pulls chairs for him, opens door, kisses him on the cheek, in front of the team and Steve just turns red but cannot stop smiling. Tony is also romantic in the bedroom. Takes care of Steve but sometimes rough and feral and then Tony gets possessive and leaves hickeys. Steve gets really loud during sex and just moans and loses it, the Team laughs at and teases him for it.Steve makes sure they are always at team movie nights and dinner. Tony is just so giddy at his mother hening and holds him by the wais in the kitchen and just sways with him. Steve just makes his life worth living. He is Tony's sunshine. Tony is so thankful he asked him out and Steve said yes. Sometimes Steve just cuddles up to him and falls asleep in his arms. Cries when he is sad and Tony does everything to make him smile and just holds him. Tony falls for him harder than ever all over.

You can also find this on Archive!

Everything had changed when they finally got together. Steve often thought about that when he was wrapped in the warm arms of his lover with the familiar energy of the Arc Reactor pressed flush against his back. Tony slept so infrequently, though that too was changing, that mornings like this became time for Steve to mull over his thoughts like the slow mornings that he used to have with his mother back before she succumbed to tuberculosis. 

While Steve did miss his old life, he also enjoyed the life that he had made for himself in the future. He loved Tony with his whole heart, and was beginning to love this modern version of New York. It was easier to understand it when he had someone that he trusted so much. Tony was there every little moment when Steve became overwhelmed. He seemed to have an endless kind of patience when Steve needed something repeated to him so that he could try to understand it. Everything was so strange and different. Nothing was even remotely similar to the way that it had been when Steve was living here, and none of it was anything like the science fiction books and shows that he had seen either. To anyone else, it would have been so overwhelming that it would literally be mind-shattering. But Steve had Tony standing by his side and helping him through it, so he knew he could handle it.

When he said that Tony was the love of his life, he really meant it. He hadn’t dated that many people before his transformation into Captain America because he had been too scrawny to be appealing to anyone. Bucky had always been there, and the two of them had basically skirted around dating for their entire adult lives. He and Peggy had basically done the same thing, but he considered it a bit more like dating because they had actually been physically intimate with each other. After both of those relationships, Tony had seemed like a complete blessing.

Now, with Tony and with the change in prudence due to the times, he was allowed to show how much he loved another man without fear. He didn’t have to worry about being beaten to death or shamed because of his sexuality. He didn’t have to worry about what his friends and family were going to think about his choice in partner, other than the fact that Tony wasn’t exactly a popular person because of his own history with sex. He could enjoy their relationship and didn’t have to worry about being slightly sexual or romantic around their friends.

That being said, Tony wasn’t exactly the easiest person to be dating. He often forgot to eat or sleep at regular, human times. Steve was able to remedy that pretty well because he didn’t have a lot of other things to occupy his time. He would bring Tony meals or drag him upstairs so that his lover would eat with the rest of their friends. He also found that because he was taller than his lover, he could just pick Tony up and literally drag him to bed when it was time for sleep. Tony used to have trouble sleeping due to his trauma, both from their first fight as the Avengers and because of the events that led to him becoming Iron Man. Steve was able to sooth these as well because he had more than his fair share of trauma and PTSD from the war and his own fights. 

Outside of not knowing how to take care of himself, Tony could also be a right ass when it came to being compassionate. He had never learned how to deal with other humans when he was younger because of how isolated he had been (first because he didn’t go to public school and then because of how smart he was). They had more arguments than a lot of couples did about Tony saying or doing something that was rude and hurtful. Steve could see that he was at least making an attempt to become a better person and move on, though. 

He could see it with the way Tony stopped before he said something degrading and hurtful, and chose to say something else. He could see when Tony took a moment to do something nice for someone else that didn’t just involve spending ungodly amounts of money on them. Tony was beginning to remember things like birthdays, anniversaries, names, and the like. He had remembered the other day that Clint was deaf and spent a while learning enough ASL to get by as well as making sonic arrows that wouldn’t interfere with his hearing aide. Clint had been very touched with it, even if he did thank Steve behind the scenes. 

Tony was still a gentleman and a good person at the end of the day even if he didn’t know his way around people. He would do little things that someone might think he had an ulterior motive for. He did things like opening doors, pulling out chairs, and pretty much everything else that went with the old-timey chivalry that Steve had grown up dreaming about. 

The blond flushed a little bit as his mind strayed over to their sexual life. Tony was just as romantic and gentlemanly when it came to the bedroom as well. He would often spend hours upon hours worshipping his lover’s body and telling him how much he loved him before they got to the good part. That didn’t mean that he acted like that all the time. Every so often, Steve’s beautiful, flawed boyfriend would get so jealous that he nearly went feral. Steve still loved that kind of sex, even if it did leave him feeling sore and covered in bruises the next day. Whatever kind of sex that they had, the blond always had hickies all the way up his neck the day before.

The team was perfectly fine with their relationship as well, despite coming from all different walks of life. They were almost like Steve’s new family, even if no family would ever really be complete without Bucky. They teased the two of them, but none of them dared to go beyond a certain point like he had almost been expecting. Bucky had other friends back when they were younger and those friends used to tease the two to the point of making even Bucky cry. Steve cried easily, so that wasn’t a hard accomplishment.

The team weren’t the only inhabitants in the tower to treat him nicely, though. The bots in Tony’s lab as well as JARVIS also seemed to be kinder than normal to him. With JARVIS it could have been because Steve wasn’t very familiar with the world and so gave the AI more attention and thanks than anyone else in the tower. With the bots it was most likely because Steve remembered all of their names and would actually say hello to them when they noticed him in the lab. The blond was very fond of the bots, and even fonder of the way that his boyfriend almost treated them like his children.

Tony let out a worried noise behind him, and that brought the blond out of his thoughts for just a moment. He rolled over and placed a comforting hand on his lover’s face. Steve brought their foreheads together and let out a small, comfortable sigh. Tony wiggled closer to the warmth of the blond, burying his face into Steve’s neck. The other man chuckled softly and wrapped his arms around the small man so that he was completely enveloped in his hold. Hopefully he would stay asleep for just a little longer, and manage to get the entire eight hours of sleep that they always aimed for.

The morning sun was beginning to creep into the huge floor to ceiling windows that ringed the room, illuminating the carpet and hardwood floor. During the remodel, Steve had been there to stop Tony from doing anything too impersonal. Pepper had been good for him while she lasted, but she decided that Tony was far too much for her to deal with when he was also being a superhero on top of all of his other issues. She hadn’t been the driving force in Tony’s life that he needed, anyway. Not the way that Steve could be.

With his help, Tony’s house had been turned into something resembling a bit more of a home instead of a barren place that you would see in a magazine. It wasn’t anything big, just choosing warmer colors and thinking of practicality instead of flashy-ness when they had been repairing the damage done by Loki during the Battle of New York. After that, Steve had subtly brought in throw blankets and some of his artwork. Slowly, with the help of the superhero and the rest of their team, the penthouse suite that Tony inhabited had become a home instead of just another space to occupy.

[armageddon-generation]

Starting the DCEU right: fixing BvS and its lead-up

BvS is really frustrating, so I rewrote it, re-ordered the existing movies and inserted in a Batman movie

1. Wonder Woman

Start the DCEU off with  a ‘bold’ statement with the first female led superhero movie, and the first chronologically.

2. Man of Steel

Bright colours, bloody hell

Cut the heavy-handed Jesus/Messiah symbolism. Superman was created by Jews anyway, Christiansing him feels disrespectful

Put it in chronological order starting in Smallville, so we’re invested in Clark’s struggle

Pa Kent doesn’t die in a tornado, that scene is ridiculous

Move the Krypton sequence in the beginning to when Jor El is explaining Clark’s origin to him in the Arctic ship, so we maintain the mystery and don’t repeat ourselves

Focus on Clark trying to live a normal life – his relationship with Lois, becoming a reporter, while he fights regular crime in secret (the Smallville blur trope)

Zodd attacking disrupts that peace and forces Superman to go public for the first time

Thematically, classic ‘regular guy doing the right thing’ Richard Donner Superman is fighting off the ‘detached alien Messiah figure’ Zack Snyder Superman Zodd wants him to become

Metropolis’ destruction and Clark being forced to kill Zodd still happens, but show Clark trying to avoid populated areas and save bystanders instead of fight, Zodd just won’t let him.

3. Batman: Under the Red Hood

Under the Red Hood (UtRH) with a depressed robin-less Batman

Follow basic outline of UtRH animated movie (75 mins) in a 2-hour movie, incorporating elements of The Killing Joke

UtRH is a mystery that lets us focus on Batman’s detective side

Talia resurrected Jason as an apology to Bruce – allude to Damian’s existence when we visit the League of Assassins and establish their past romance

UtRH is the perfect story to introduce the batfamily - Bruce still isn’t talking to Dick after kicking him out to become Nightwing, the Red Hood pushes them to work together, but uncovering Jason’s identity fractures their relationship further (fight?)

Killing Joke happened recently and Barbra is still recovering. Show the events leading up to and after it in PTSD flashbacks, but framed through Barbra’s empowering story of recovery, not the traumatic incident itself. Maybe introduce Leslie Thompkins as her therapist.

Bruce is also estranged from Commissioner Gordon as a result of Killing Joke. When Jason finds out the Joker paralysed Barbra after he died and Bruce still let him live, he’s even angrier

This story is the perfect set-up for the DCEU’s (recast) Joker; he’s a secondary villain to Jason, but by mixing both UtRH and Killing Joke, his two most famous/heinous crimes, he immediately becomes a terrifying bogeyman with an established relationship with Batman

Stealth set-up for Birds of Prey (Oracle), Nightwing, and Red Hood and the Outlaws movies

By the end of the movie both Jason  and Joker escape and Bruce is left isolated and questioning his no-kill code after Jason’s arguments, Joker escaping yet again, and all his recent trauma, setting up his emotional state for BvS

The only ones to stay by his side are Alfred and Lucius Fox

4. Batman vs Superman

Clark is our protagonist, Bruce the sympathetic villain who’s redeemed by the end

After killing Zodd in MoS, Clark is determined not to kill – CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT through an opening action sequence

He and Lois are newlyweds 

Clark wants to be trusted, and that means conforming to government control (like in The Dark Knight Returns, except this time it’s sympathetic) – his moral dilemma is whether them controlling Superman is a good thing

Clark hates Batman because Bruce is becoming more and more recklessly violent (The Dark Knight Returns) since UtRH and The Killing Joke and his support structure collapsing. Clark reports on how the Bat-Brand is causing criminal deaths (which is now a big No-No for Supes, without him being  a hypocrite) - cut the unimportant conflict with Perry White

During the Metropolis attack Bruce loses someone. I don’t like killing a black character, but it makes the most sense that Lucius Fox would be in the Wayne Tech building and die. The audience has a history with the character – not only was he in UtRH, but also the Dark Knight Trilogy.

Alfred loses a leg, as in the Earth One graphic novels – that gruffer version of the character is similar to Jeremy Irons’ portrayal anyway

Bruce now has legitimate reasons to fear Clark, and he has no support network left.

Wayne Industries is funding the rebuilding of Metropolis, in collaboration with Lexcorp (like in the No Man’s Land comic event). Lex (recast) is presented as an ally to Bruce, sympathising with and stoking the flames of his Superman hatred

Insert the Diana subplot in here – BUT DON’T SPOIL HER BEING IN THE MOVIE IN THE TRAILERS. Bruce catches her snooping around at one of Lex’s fundraisers for rebuilding Metropolis. 

Lex doesn’t just have her photo – in the hundred years since Wonder Woman, Diana has become a protector of mythological beings (Nick Fury for the Gods). Instead of the email attachment of Justice League teaser trailers, Lex has stolen information from Diana that reveals the locations of Themascyra and Atlantis, the sister cities.

Bruce and Diana can have a philosophical discussion about new gods outmoding old gods without it being out of place – Diana is unsure of her place in this changing world

Lex is also planning to run for President – he encourages Bruce’s anti-authoritarian sentiment. The GCPD have started a manhunt for the more brutal Batman. Legitimise this sentiment further by having Clark’s main contact to the Government be morally corrupt Amanda Waller (replacing Holly Hunter’s Senator) who wants to use Clark in black-ops missions.

We see one of these missions. Amanda wants Clark to kill, which he refuses to do, only for her to kill the targets anyway. (a version of the drone strike scene that opened the original BvS)

This causes huge moral conflict for Clark – show he and Lois debating and supporting each other at home – Lois doesn’t trust Waller and starts investigating her.

Bring in the Sons of Batman subplot from The Dark Knight Returns – Batman’s brutal new tactics inspire a gang of, deadly copycat vigilantes. Possibly you could turn them into the We Are Robin gang from Scott Snyder’s comic run

We learn about the gang from the POV of one kid – Tim Drake (or Duke Thomas, but we’d have to give him Tim’s origin – figuring out Batman’s identity as a child detective)

Tim experiences the terror and violence Batman’s new brutality is inspiring on the streets of Gotham – he goes to Wayne Manor, only to find it abandoned. Alfred lets him into the Batcave to shake some sense into Bruce, and Tim gives his pitch about Batman always needing a Robin to balance him. Bruce kicks him out.

A scene where Lex inducts the wheelchair-bound Metropolis victim into his scheme.

The conflict and tension is driven up by Superman breaking up a Sons of Batman rally, then confronting Batman while he’s torturing some criminals.

Bruce is working on his power armour, exhausted. Here we see a version of the Knightmare sequence:

Future!Barry runs in, grabs Bruce and zips into the post-apocalypse to show him the future. This is the only time we see Batman kill in the movie – driven over the edge. He is fighting Evil Superman, bearded in the black suit, looking a lot like Zodd. Darkseid looms as a dark, unidentified figure in the distance. Barry runs Bruce back, yelling to find him in the present and watch out for Luthor, but Darkseid’s Omega beams hit and kill him just as Bruce is thrown back into the Cave.

He passes out, then wakes up later, convinced he’d had a dream about Superman destroying the world.

Lex lets Batman steal the kryptonite – he��s getting desperate

Finally, with the Batman crisis worsening, Waller orders Clark to take Bruce down.  Bruce is waiting with his power armour.

The fight should be a pastiche of fights from the comics – sonic weapons and kryptonite gas, but also Red Sun lasers and that moment in Hush where Bruce electrocutes Clark with the mains supply of a whole city.

Meanwhile, Lois’ investigation into Waller has uncovered that the government agents ordering Clark around answer to Lex Luthor. She realises Lex has been manipulating Superman and Batman into fighting in the hopes of killing both (supplying the kryptonite etc). Mercy Graves shows up to kill her but Lois escapes.

Meanwhile, Tim breaks back into the Batcave and steals a Robin suit.

Both Tim and Lois arrive at the scene of the fight and stop Bruce delivering the final blow. Instead of MARTHA!, Tim and Lois talk their respective heroes down, Lois explains Lex’s role. Bruce remembers Barry’s warning – was that dream real?

Lex realises what’s going on and releases his Big Bad, Metallo (replacing shit Doomsday), a kryptonite-powered cyborg mech created from the wheelchair-bound Metropolis victim and  Kryptonian-killing weapons technology from Zodd’s ship. This way the fight ties in with the consequences of Clark destroying Metroplolis.

Diana, having been in the Lexcorp facility to steal her information back, arrives to fight with Clark and Bruce. She’s decided she’s still a hero.

The power is out in Gotham after Bruce used the mains to fight Clark, and the city is in chaos.

Bruce enlists Tim to evacuate the city and stop rioting while Clark and Diana fight Metallo – adapting the Dark Knight Returns sequence where Bruce rides through Gotham on horseback, enlisting the Sons of Batman to do some good.

This is the culmination of Bruce’s arc; accepting Superman is needed while stopping a repeat of Metropolis’ destruction by damage-controlling his fight. He’s also taking responsibility for his impact on Gotham through the gang.

Lex remotely sets Metallo to self-destruct when he starts losing the fight. Clark tries to save his enemy (DEVELOPMENT from MoS) but dies in the explosion due to the fatal dose of radiation poisoning. This death sets up the next 'phase’ of movies

We’ve set up several threads for future movies – we are aware of Atlantis thanks to Diana’s information, without having Aquaman thrown in our faces.

Lex gets away – Bruce breaks into his office and confronts him, but Lex is untouchable and still running for President

Bruce is now privately investigating what he saw in the Knightmare, including finding Barry Allen

Tim starts training to be the next Robin – Bruce is learning from his mistakes with Jason.

Amanda Waller sets up Suicide Squad

Lois is revealed to be pregnant with Clark’s child at the end, paralleling Clark’s natural birth in Man of Steel

[myfandomrambles]

C-PTSD & BPD DOctor

(Doctor Character Study part 3c)

An analysis of The Doctor as having Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) along with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

If you read my ADHD & Autistic doctor posts you will notice some symptom overlap mostly with impulsivity. I chose to put C-PTSD and BPD as one post because symptom overlap is strong, and the disorders are highly comorbid.

11th Doctor:

The Eleventh Doctor is a character that is the perfect representation of instability. He oscillates from generally childish, a cold force of nature and a chaotic man broken from anger and grief. It’s a compelling characterization because it gives some unpredictability in a show that can be formulaic. This doctor also is driven by a fear of abandonment and lack of attachment, probably because everyone Ten came to care for left him or got left behind him, this is shown in the 0 to 100-way Eleven acts within relationships. He is very alien and doesn’t do much to try and blend in a normal sense but does to cover up why he does thing still aching for acceptance. 

Eleven has the common Doctor trait of just running so nothing can touch you and avoid staying still in a very extreme state for much of the run, up until he has no other choice. It's a large part of the character’s arc stopping long enough to make a difference. 

Lack a sense of internal identity/stable self-image and he uses the idea of The Doctor as a mask (TV: Eleventh Hour, TV: Victory of The Daleks, TV: The Wedding of River Song, TV: Dinosaurs on A Spaceship). The Doctor references this phenomenon “Look, three options. One, I let the Star Whale continue in unendurable agony for hundreds more years. Two, I kill everyone on this ship. Three, I murder a beautiful, innocent creature as painlessly as I can. And then I find a new name because I won't be The Doctor any more.”(TV: The Beast Below)

When introducing himself to Craige Eleven says;“ I'm The Doctor. Well, they call me The Doctor. I don't know why. I call me The Doctor, too. Still don't know why.” we know that there are reasons, like his promise that he chooses to use this title Eleven feels a disconnection from the word (TV: The Lodger) Being The Doctor is built on being that hero (TV: The God Complex)

The construction of the identity is remarked upon in TV: The Day of The Doctor, The Doctor itself is a construct they try and hold themselves to, the name is a “promise” a way they want to be. That promise was “Never cruel or cowardly. Never give up, never give in.” 

Connects his identity and emotions to inanimate objects like his Bow Tie, Fez, and Sonic (TV: The Eleventh Hour, TV: The Hungry Earth, TV: The Snowmen, TV: The Rings of Akhaten, & TV: Hide)

Eleven also changes his affect and personality around other for example River. Amy points this out saying “You're letting people call you sir. You never do that.” (TV: Time of Angels) 

The Doctor hates himself to a large degree even when talking himself up periodically. His self-concept often comes as a very powerful view of a god-like entity. This view is based on actual action and the way others see him, it can cause a huge dissonance and adds to his feelings of responsibility to everyone. (TV: The Eleventh Hour, TV: The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang, TV: Day of the Moon, TV: The Wedding of River Song, TV: The Time of The Doctor & TV: The Day of The Doctor)

When Eleven, Amy and Rory get the psychic pollen in their brains The Doctor comments on the “dream Lord’; “No, no. No. Sorry, wasn't it obvious? The Dream Lord was me. Psychic pollen. It’s a mind parasite. It feeds on everything dark in you, gives it a voice, turns it against you. I'm nine hundred and seven. It had a lot to go on.” Amy is disturbed by this idea because the dream lord was both the villain of the dream and openly insulted Eleven like saying “If you had any more tawdry quirks you could open up a Tawdry Quirk Shop. The madcap vehicle, the cockamamie hair, the clothes designed by a first-year fashion student. I'm surprised you haven't got a little purple space dog just to ram home what an intergalactic wag you are. Where was I?” (TV: Amy’s Choice). 

In TV: A Good Man Goes to War Eleven explicitly states he does not believe he is a good man. Eleven literally says “Oh no, no, no, no, no. Give me someone I like.” referring to when the TARDIS offers a holo doctor as the voice interface. This shows he does not have a positive opinion of himself. 

In TV: The God Complex Eleven speaks the Minotaurs last words “An ancient creature, drenched in the blood of the innocent, drifting in space through an endless, shifting maze. For such a creature, death would be a gift. Then accept it, and sleep well. I wasn't talking about myself.” Eleven doesn’t seem to disagree, is caught off guard but seems to hit home. While Eleven doesn’t actively want to die and does try and live, but we can see that there are times when this does fail. He does view himself as broken down.  

 The Doctor’s rules are used as a kind of system of maintaining the idea of the ‘Doctor’ and a way of coping with the wrongs he has done, and a shorthand of communication (TV: The Hungry Earth/Cold Blood, &TV: Let’s Kill Hitler) These rules are also used in his own mind to try and give moral guidelines as part of this identity maintenance and to try and not hurt others. We see this in the comment Eleven makes “Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.” (TV: A Good Man Goes to War)

The Doctor has a lot of guilt in his life, he is willing to let himself die for others, his imposed isolation and his rules all reflect this. (TV: Amy’s Choice, Minisode: Night and The Doctor, TV: A Good Man Goes To War, Prequel to Let's Kill Hitler, TV: Let’s Kill Hitler, TV: The Girl Who Waited, TV: The God Complex, & TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Name of The Doctor, TV: The Time of The Doctor, & TV: The Day of The Doctor) We see this really explicitly when he has the chance to find more time lords in TV: The Doctor's Wife and Amy reminds him what they thought he did to the others. 

Eleven says “I can explain. Tell them why I had to.” Amy then says “You want to be forgiven.” The Doctor then replies, “Don't we all?”. In that same story, Eleven says “Another Ood I failed to save.” when the Ood dies, referencing his history of letting Ood die in fights like in TV: The Satan Pit. 

After seeing the effect his story has had on those around him and the way it hurt people he cares about we see him delete himself from history out of guilt. (Home Video: The Inforarium, TV: Asylum of The Daleks and TV: Dinosaurs on a Spaceship, TV: The Angels Take Manhattan, & TV: The Nightmare in Silver).

Guilt often leads to him raining in his outward shows of strength to not invoke more guilt or memories of things like his believed use of the moment. However, it’s not always the case when Karlah-Jax triggers his trauma the guilt manifests in hurting others. The Doctor justifies his actions with a combination of trauma-based guilt and his moral system saying: “But they keep coming back, don't you see? Every time I negotiate, I try to understand. Well, not today. No. Today, I honour the victims first. His, the Master's, the Dalek's, all the people who died because of my mercy!” (TV: A Town Called Mercy) 

In TV: The Day of The Doctor we see how guilt is a huge diver of most of what they do throughout the show. Even to the point, the War Doctor wonders if without the guilt he would even become the same man that 10 and 11 are. However, it is important to note that using the moment isn’t the only guilt The Doctor carries. What he did to his companions is another one. Guilt and responsibility also drive a lot of the behaviour in TV: The Time of The Doctor. 

Eleven has extreme difficulties with handling his impulsive behaviours (TV: The Eleventh Hour, TV: Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone, TV: The Beast Below, TV: The Vampires of Venice, TV: Vincent and The Doctor, TV: The Curse of The Black Spot, TV: The Lodger, TV: The Doctor's Wife, Minisode: Space/Time. TV:Asylum of The Daleks, TV: Dinosaurs on A Spaceship, TV: A Town Called Mercy, TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Angels Take Manhattan, TV: The Rings of Akhaten, TV: Hide, TV: Journey To The Centre of The TARDIS, TV: The Name of The Doctor, & TV: The Day of The Doctor) His mind and thoughts get so ahead of himself he’ll do dumb things like baiting the armed people in the white house to shoot at him (TV: The Impossible Astronaut).

The Doctor has obsessive thoughts and behaviors connected with the impulse control and preoccupation with trauma (TV: Vincent and the Doctor,TV: The Wedding of River Song, TV: Closing Time, TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Rings of Akhaten, TV: journey to the center of the TARDIS & TV: The Time of The Doctor).

 Puts himself in deadly and dangerous situations. Often a combination of hero complex and a lack of regard for his own well being in dangerous moments. (TV: Victory of Daleks, TV: The Big Bang, TV: Let’s Kill Hitler, TV: The Angels Take Manhattan, TV: Hide, & TV: Journey To The Center of The TARDIS)

This behaviour can become almost suicidal in nature taunting and getting to close other enemies. In TV: Flesh and Stone he puts himself in more danger than necessary. One of his plans amounts to suicidal actions. We can see similar actions in TV: The Rings of Akhaten, TV: Nightmare in Silver and TV: Cold War where he is willing to kill everyone to save others. 

After seeing The Doctor die Amy, River and Rory discuss what the next thing they should do is. We get this dialogue: 

Rory: “We're not all going to arrange our own wake and invite ourselves. So, The Doctor, in the future, knowing he's going to die, recruits his younger self and all of us to, to what, exactly? Avenge him?” 

River: Uh-huh. Avenging's not his style. 

Amy: Save him. 

Rory: Yeah, that's not really his style either.” 

In this conversation, we see that they recognize that Eleven one doesn’t want his friends to act violently, and Rory also recognizes that The Doctor is willing to die for, whatever the astronaut was about. (TV: The Impossible Astronaut)

Has very strong and reactive emotional states. The emotional reactions are shown very visibly in his face, voice and actions. (TV: The Eleventh Hour, TV: The Victory of The Daleks, TV: The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone, TV: The Beast Below, Minisode: Space/Time, TV: The Doctor's Wife, TV: A Good Man Goes To War, TV: Let’s Kill Hitler, TV: The God Complex, TV: Asylum of The Daleks, TV: Dinosaurs on a Spaceship, TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Angels Take Manhattan, & TV: Journey To The Center of The TARDIS ) We also often see extreme rapid cycling emotions and affect (TV: Amy’s Choice, TV: The Pandorica Opens, The Rebel Flesh / The Almost People, TV: Closing Time, TV: The Doctor's Wife, & TV: The Rings of Akhaten)

We see an example of this when Eleven is talking his effect going from slightly annoyed, excited and falls down to tired and then cold derision all in one paragraph length of speech “Home. Well, you two are. Off you pop and make babies. And you, Doctor Song, back to prison. And me? I'm late for a biplane lesson in 1911. Or it could be knitting. Knitting or biplanes. One or the other. What? A mysterious summons. You think I'm just going to go? Who sent those messages? I know you know. I can see it in your face. Don't play games with me. Don't ever, ever think you're capable of that.” (TV: The Impossible Astronaut)

In TV: The Doctor's Wife we see an expression of cold and extreme anger. He slips in an expression of cruelty in the way he talks to the people who live on House threatening them and telling them to run. Ith the TARDIS they kill the house with only callous anger and disregard. We see a similar show TV: Dinosaurs on A Spaceship when his anger at the lack of morality that Solomon shows and his treatment of the Silurians and Nefertiti he kills the man to save the others. He does this showing very little regret a combination of severe anger and his ability to shut down and dissociate from his emotions. 

Another act of his anger common out in an act of manipulative violence is the TV: The Bells of Saint John by using the Base station to threaten to bring down and scare people into action and ends up using it. 

An extreme example of how strongly his anger can run is seen when he learns of the actions of Kahler-Jex. He comes back angry at the lies and feeling deeply upset at the lies. It escalates with Jax telling The Doctor he doesn’t understand when The Doctor absolutely understand what position Jax was in. All of this peaks and when Kahler-Jex references The Doctor’s own trauma and actions in his history of not only the Time War but the other actions he’s had to take, along with the all the death he blames on his inactions as well. It pushes him to the edge of violence yelling and acting out physically. However, unlike other examples of The Doctor being willing to hurt others to protect something and/or someone he loves this time it’s out of a trigger to the past, he loses control of the anger he feels. 

Jax “You wouldn’t” 

The Doctor replies “I Genuinely don’t know.” 

This shows that being so disconnected to the emotions his trauma brings makes this scene confuse him. (TV: A Town Called Mercy)

After Amy is captured Eleven shuts down his emotions, a strong emptiness comes over him which is different from Rory who has a level of desperation and love for Amy. 

Rory says “Amy, can you hear me? We're coming for you. Wherever you are, we're coming, I swear.” 

The Doctor answers; “She can't hear you. I'm so sorry. It's one way.”  

Rory replies “She can always hear me, Doctor. Always. Wherever she is, and she always knows that I am coming for her. Do you understand me? Always.” 

(TV: The Day of The Moon)

The Emotional shutdown can even form a block in his empathy, much like rage he sometimes swings the other way trying to not feel, TV: The Snowmen, but being unable to manage these he often starts lashing out to others by trying to act on feelings. 

In TV: A Good Man Goes To War when Vastra points out he is seen as a weapon his emotions go from sadness to an episode of dissociation. We can see this as he loses the ability to register what the others are saying and has to be brought out of it. A similar event can be seen after an anger outburst and discussions truly close to his traumatic history his friends have with Kahler-Jax. Eleven goes almost blank facially and folds into himself emotional;y and physically. He isolates himself by stepping away and he completely loses the thread of the events around him. We see this when he says “Hmm? Yes. I don't know. Whatever Amy said.” It also melds with his wildly changing emotions as he flies into anger right after this. (TV: A Town Called Mercy). We also see dissociation in TV: The Girl Who Waited, The Time of Angels / Flesh and Stone & TV: The Snowmen)

We can see a physical manifestation in the way The Doctor physically acts as well. When he experiences dissociation and/or emotional shutdowns he curled into himself. (TV: The Day of The Moon, TV:The Girl Who Waited, TV: A Town Called Mercy, TV: The Angels Take Manhattan, TV: The Snowmen, & TV: Journey to The Center of The TARDIS ). 

We can see another physical manifestation of the disconnection he feels from himself and the dissociation he has with his table identity when he gets dressed without his own knowledge, Seen in this exchange

The Doctors: “No, you didn't, because I don't. Because this isn't the sort of thing I do any more. Next time you're in trouble, don't expect me to” 

(The Doctor is distracted by his reflection in a mirror.) 

Clara “What is it? What's wrong?” 

The Doctor: Sorry, it's just. Didn't know I'd put it on.  

(TV: The Snowmen)

Memory gaps are also seen in TV: Hide when he doesn’t even know what’s in the console room and TV: The Day of The Doctor as he has lost track of his own age and timeline [Not remembering the events with the moment doesn't count] Also seen in TV: The Lodger

His emotions and trauma can bring Eleven to the point of pretty dramatic outbursts. When the Daleks are seen for the first time by Eleven expresses an episode of range attacks the Dalek with a wrench (TV: Victory of The Daleks) Fear and Anger lead to a panic and rage episode including throwing things around and losing focus (TV: Flesh and Stone). We see these trauma, guilt and anger based breakdowns screaming and pushing others away, saying “Nobody talk to me. Nobody human has anything to say to me today!” (TV: The Beast Below). We see a physical breakdown again in TV: The God Complex and TV: The Angels Take Manhattan. 

A trauma-induced Panic Attack can be seen in TV: Asylum of the Daleks. He shows all the physical attributes and calls out for help a very uncharacteristic way of reacting showing a more heightened fear response. After this reminder of his trauma during the war, we see him struggle to return to the normal emotional level struggling to show compassion he normally has for human hurt by the Daleks reacting with rage at the Dalek shell that Oswin is trapped into. And panics again when she starts to move. 

In TV: Nightmare in Silver just seeing a Cyberman he goes into protect mode his easily triggered survival and protective manner. 

The Doctor is a show-off and is very dramatic to project the appearance he wants and hid a lot under it/ (TV: The Eleventh Hour, Minisode: Meanwhile in the TARDIS 2, TV: The Vampires of Venice, TV: The Big Bang, TV: The Doctor The Widow and The Wardrobe, TV: Day of The Moon, TV: The Doctor's Wife, TV: Let’s Kill Hitler, TV: A Christmas Carol, TV: The Wedding of River Song TV: The Asylum of The Daleks, TV: A Town Called Mercy, TV:The Snowmen, TV: The Bells of Saint John,TV: Journey to The Center of The TARDIS, & TV: The Day of The Doctor ). 

Often done to people he wants to like him like Amy, saying: “A forest in a bottle on a spaceship in a maze. Have I impressed you yet, Amy Pond?”(TV: Flesh and Stone) When Eleven finds himself in the oval office he goes on a rant, flaunt his intelligence and sits in the president's chair. Enjoying Putting on a show for his friends as well it works to refocus control and attention to him. (TV: The Impossible Astronaut)

In TV: A Good Man Goes To War we see a huge example of this. It is a combination of the way using confusion and manipulation is The Doctor's signature method of fighting enemies but it also is a way he enjoys getting positive and negative attention. 

Amy Pond is His favourite person and they both have a codependent relationship to a very high degree. Both being a defining part of the others life. Eleven while not really wanting a romantic relationship with Amy still experiences worry around Amy wanting to leave him some jealousy with Rory (TV: The Vampires of Venice) Is deeply protective over Amy even when he does bring in to dangerous situations (TV: The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone, TV: Victory of The Daleks, TV: Vincent and The Doctor, & TV: The Pandorica Opens). Eleven struggles to attach healthy to others wanting this full 100% or 0% love (TV: The Eleventh Hour. TV: The God Complex, & TV: The Power of Three)

We this complete or zero attachment in action again in TV: The Snowmen with Clara. Going from a lockout of people in general to trying to make her come with him and feeling a deep connection in the matter of a day. Even when he doesn’t trust River Song yet he becomes jealous when she gives attention to others like saying “What? You two engaged or something?” when the father follows her around (TV: Flesh and Stone)

His extreme connection to his companions magnifies his own grief tenfold causing pretty deep reactions when losing his FP in the form of Amy. (TV: The Angels Take Manhattan & The Snowmen). His general problems with attachment magnify grief and loss in general, he struggles to form normal relationships and has deep abandonment issues that we see starting a few doctors back. This is further compounded by his long lifespan meaning he can see the way people are eventually going to lose them. In TV: The Power of Three he explains the way he knows loss is coming and tries to lose it, but when hitting this realization hard on he actually attempts to severe the bond before getting really hurt but that doesn’t work. He then pushes everyone again when the loss does it. (TV: The Snowmen). Clara points out that she is competing with a ghost in TV: The Rings of Akhaten, which while he rebuffs this she was actually right, one because he only picked her up based on a past loss but also because for a very long time the companions are competing with the ghost of past loss as it informs how protective and guilty The Doctor is with everyone. 

This struggle with grief can also be seen in TV: The Time of The Doctor when The Doctor as he sends Clara away to not deal with losing her even though that isn’t what she wants. 

Likes to be in control of everything to feel like he can manage a world that constantly throws pain and disorder. (TV: The Eleventh Hour, TV: The Vampires of Venice, TV: The Hungry Earth/Cold Earth, TV: The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang, TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Curse of the Black Spot, TV: The Crimson Horror, TV: Nightmare in Silver, TV: Cold War, & TV: The Name of The Doctor) 

Eleven takes control no matter who is around them, up to and including the president of the united states (TV: The Impossible Astronaut/Day of The Moon). There is also often the need to try and protect people, though this often bothers the people as it takes their choice from them. (TV: A Christmas Carol, TV: The Doctor's Wife, TV: The God Complex, TV: Asylum of The Daleks, & TV: Name of The Doctor). 

In Prose: Touched By an Angel Eleven comments that Rory is "disconcertingly full of surprises" when he alters the plans Eleven is trying to work through. In TV: The Snowmen we see another example of his control issues verbalized by Eleven when Clara attempts to lead him saying “No, I do the hand grabbing. That's my job. That's always me!”, a telling example of the way Clara not listening even more than normal throws him off balance. 

In TV: The Time of The Doctor The Doctor takes control of not just the battle but ends up essentially running the entire planet, based on a hero/god complex along with his warranted feeling of responsibility. In TV:Day of The Doctor we see this control and god complex in an extreme form as they feel a responsibility to save the entire universe, it’s also connected to guilt born from trauma The Doctor experienced throughout the time war even before the use of the moment, as the War Doctor feels the same responsibility/god complex. 

Eleven tries to control the entire situation of the adventures and the situations around those he loves. It’s not trying to really hurt them, and often works but he still wants to try and make everything work right. (TV: The God Complex, TV: Asylum of The Daleks, TV: The Crimson Horror)

 We see an example of this also TV: The Rebel Flesh/The Almost People in the way he doesn’t tell people what he’s doing so no one interferes with his plans, even willing to lie to people by omission and right out no telling Amy which doctor is made of Flesh and which is the Time Lord. Similar to this situation in TV: Journey to The Center of The TARDIS The Doctor manipulates the salvage crew withholding information, using intimidation and his superior understanding of the TARDIS to get what he wants so he can save Clara. The Doctor also lies to Clara here and scares her once he does lose that control, the lies and information he had been hiding for long can’t keep in under stress. 

Lacks any ability to trust almost anybody (TV: The Beast Below, TV: The Time of Angels/Flesh and Stone, TV: The Rebel Flesh/The Almost People, & TV: Journey to The Center of The TARDIS). TV: The Impossible Astronaut gives us to rather good examples of this, the person he trusts number one is himself over anyone who has been with him over time. Also when talking to River he says “Trust you? Sure. But, first of all, Doctor Song, just one thing. Who are you? You're someone from my future. Getting that. But who? Okay. Why are you in prison? Who did you kill, hmm? Now, I love a bad girl, me, but trust you? Seriously.” a cruel statement of his trust issues, and acts as a way to push her away and keep at arm's length even when he does enjoy her company. 

The Doctor struggles to understand and communicate ideas and emotions. Forming new relationships are hard for him his ability for healthy attachments in non-existent. We see this with Rory a lot. Rory doesn’t quickly fall in line with The Doctors normal way of functioning. Eleven doesn't have a good ability to communicate their issues. This makes relationships pretty volatile with River, Amy and Clara even when they are what he loves most 

Experiences splitting mostly with River Goes back and forth being very flirty and then pushing River away (TV: Flesh and Stone, TV: A Good Man Goes to War, & TV: The Day of The Moon)

Eleven avoids talking about trauma trying to not remember or discuss it while it also clearly affects everything he does (TV: The Beast Below, TV: The Doctor's Wife, TV: A Good Man Goes To War, TV: Day of The Doctor, TV: The Snowmen, TV: Hide TV: The Name of The Doctor, TV: The Day of The Doctor & The Time of The Doctor) Distraction used as a coping mechanism (TV: Amy’s Choice, TV: The hungry Earth) When he does talk about it he struggles to then stop (TV: The Rings of Akhaten, TV: The Day of The Doctor).

The Doctor isn’t in touch with his emotions (TV: A Town Called Mercy, TV: The Doctor The Widow and The Wardrobe, TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Angels Take Manhattan, TV: The Snowmen, & TV: The Bells of Saint John). In TV: A Good Man Goes To War he comments “Oh, look, I'm angry. That's new. I'm really not sure what's going to happen now.” However, The Doctor often shows anger to the point of outbursts of violence. This shows a profound disconnect from his own emotional state. 

Eleven like the previous incarnations is deeply lonely and feels like he is alone and disconnected (TV: The Beast Below, TV: The Doctor The Widow and The Wardrobe, TV: The Doctor's Wife, TV: Night Terrors TV: The Bells of Saint John) We see this in his trying to connect with the Krafayis “Well, no harm trying. Listen. Listen! I know you can understand me, even though I know you won't understand why you can understand me. I also know that no one's talked to you for a pretty long stretch, but please, listen. I also don't belong on this planet. I also am alone. If you trust me, I'm sure we can come to some kind of, you know, understanding. And then, and then, who knows?” (TV: Vincent and The Doctor) 

The most extreme example of this is of course seen in TV: The Snowmen where for what is implied to be years The Doctor isolates himself from almost everyone and stops trying to help others. 

The Doctor experiences hypervigilance and general hyperarousal symptoms about him always on edge and looking for danger. It also causes him trouble staying still and enjoying any calm (TV: Amy’s Choice, Minisode: Night and The Doctor, TV: The Hungry Earth / Cold Blood, TV: The Lodger, TV: The Impossible Astronaut, TV: Closing Time, TV: Asylum of The Daleks, TV: Dinosaurs on A Spaceship, TV: Closing Time TV: A Town Called Mercy, TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Angels Take Manhattan, TV: The Bells of Saint John, TV: The Rings of Akhaten, & TV Nightmare in Silver)  

We see this in his conversation with Amy Saying; “Oh, lovely. You're a cheery one. Never mind dead, look at this place. Isn't it wrong?” Amy is confused by this “What's wrong?” Elven seems genuinely surprised that she doesn’t see what is happening the way he can “Come on, use your eyes. Notice everything. What's wrong with this picture?” (TV: The Beast Below) 

Even when in a calm environment like a museum The Doctor is on the lookout. When viewing Van Gogh art he stops to investigate danger having noticed it everywhere “Yes. And not a nice face at all. I know evil when I see it and I see it in that window.“ (TV: Vincent and The Doctor)

The Doctor deals with catastrophization (TV: The Beast Below, TV: Vincent and The Doctor, TV: The Curse of The Black Spot & Prequels: Prequel to The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe) The Doctor also struggles to view the world with an active hope more using it an idea to focus his thoughts, it takes extreme emotions to push through that, and not much to bring it all crashing down. (TV: The Doctor The Widow in the Wardrobe, Minisode: Meanwhile in The TARDIS, & TV: The Angels Take Manhattan)

Other people tend to understand and see his erratic behaviour. In TV: The Time of Angles. 

Father Octavian asked River “Doctor Song, I've lost good Clerics today. You trust this man? “ 

She replies “I absolutely trust him.” 

Octavian asks “ He's not some kind of madman, then?” 

All River does is repeat “ I absolutely trust him”. 

A comment on the very noticeable erratic behaviour and presentation of his feelings and dysregulation, his own friends who trust him can’t even pretend he isn’t like that. Clara makes a similar comment in TV: Nightmare in Silver.

Multiple times people who knows him warn against getting to the emotional breaking point. In TV: The Doctor's Wife  Amy says “Don't get emotional because that's when you make a mistake” In TV: Forest of The Dead River warns Ten against it when he generally has a slightly higher boiling point to Eleven to experience full emotional breakdowns. 

Rory finds The Doctor to be dangerous in his ability to be magnetic and the way his own recklessness plays of each other. (TV: The Vampires of Venice)

The Doctor’s interactions with Van Gogh is really interesting we see to a large instance I think he understands what he is going through but trying to use his own coping mechanisms on Van Gogh proves to not be very effective. He tries to make Van Gogh focus on the task at hand, ignore people calling him crazy don’t think about the pain. But of course, this doesn’t work for Van Gogh who has slightly different problems than The Doctor and can’t function on denial. 

We also see his difficulty with communication here talking about his or others feelings being a struggle. He does try and offer kindness with mentioning hope, and then lets Van Gogh he will be remembered kindly a truly kind act. Eleven is also distinctly less surprised than Amy that one kind day can not make someone not struggle with suicidal thoughts, something I think comes from both his knowledge of time travel but personal experience with mental illness. (TV: Vincent and The Doctor)

In TV: Hide we see Emma Grayling being able to read The Doctor because she is an empath, this ability makes her distrustful of The Doctor overall but also works with him because she can tell he does want to save people. Emma warns Clara about the fact the Doctor’s history has left him deeply damaged she says“Don't trust him. There's a sliver of ice in his heart.” 

Professor Alec Palmer also reads The Doctor in this same episode, he can tell the Doctor has seen traumatic events of war and death just like he as. They are similar people and they can see it in each other. 

Eleven has become so used to the chaos and violence that he cannot change and disconnect. Adventure and violence are the only way he knows how to function, also I sort of an addiction to chaos. (Minisode: Night and The Doctor, TV: The Lodger, TV: Amy’s Choice, TV: Dinosaurs On A Spaceship, TV: The Power of Three, & TV: A Town Called Mercy) 

We see The Doctor has a breakdown in being able to enjoy a normal life and things, even some of the less violent of the things in space like stars or general life (Minisode: Meanwhile in the TARDIS 2)

While The Doctor is addicted to violence he has a deep moral problem with the concept of war and hurting other creatures. The Doctor also tries to ensure that other people don’t have to live in the war as he did. It is hypocritical as The Doctor will cause harm for the greater good. However, opposition to war is as much a part of the identity as a moral concept. This hatred of war actually dates back to the early doctors and carried through till this point, now with the layers of trauma and having continuously broken the morals himself. (TV: The Beast Below, TV: The Hungry Earth / Cold Blood, TV: The Rebel Flesh/The Almost People, TV: Dinosaurs on A Spaceship, TV: A Town Called Mercy, & TV: Nightmare in Silver)

Other soldiers and actors of violence can always read this past in The Doctor (TV: Hide, TV: Nightmare in Silver, & TV: The Name of The Doctor). This is seen in TV: Cold War when the other soldiers can see that The Doctor understands the battle, River also comments on this in TV: Let’s kill Hitler as she was taught that he understood “all forms of war.'' He is confronted with the way he’s been acting as a violent force when he learns the Gamma forest uses the doctor as the war for a warrior (TV: A Good Man Goes to War). 

TV: The Day of The Doctor shows us this understanding of battles and violent politics, and how much this is splitting to his character as The War Doctor refuses to even call himself The Doctor. It shows how much he understands about war. This carries into TV: The Time of The Doctor where he can wage a hundred years of war and win. 

Insomnia: (TV: The Lodger, Minisode: Night and The Doctor, TV: The Bells of Saint John)

Disordered eating: (TV: The Eleventh Hour, TV: The Power of Three, TV: The Time of The Doctor)

Eleven is a character built on contradictions bu as highly magnetic as the other doctors. His arc is similar to 9s in being bittersweet, he dies with those he loves having saved people but is also sad because his last days were spent in war when that’s the last thing he wanted to do, they were also tainted by feelings of guilt for his part in what happened. He changes some over time in relation to loss but has less profound shifts than many other New Who doctors. 

[Also Posted on my Archive of Our Own page in a series with the other doctor study posts]

Shout out to @3lianav for requesting/reminding me to get this section up