#not to be an art student but it pains me with the oh my kid could do that

[d1ana-m0nd]

╭─► ❝My Mona Lisa❞

Fem! Trafalgar D. Water Law × GN! Reader || Written by Diana (d1ana-m0nd) || Inspired by Mona Lisa

➢ Fluff && Not Proofread , Oneshot && Word Count 1,500

➢ The valedictorian and the salutatorian of Grand Line High have been academic rivals ever since they stepped into the same school. As they transitioned to college and into adulthood, they thought they would never have to see each other again, oh how wrong they were. To add more salt to the wound, the next thing that occurred was not just a coincidence; when they turned 18 the red string of fate showed itself to their hosts and the string happened to be tied to their academic rival’s pinkie finger.

You were late, like later than usual… you blame your stupid brother, Kid, for holding you back in the library because he needed a favor from you. At the moment, you were hurrying to get to your building silently praying the instructors were late before you could present your artwork, you were running down the hallway with your backpack on your back, your poster case barely hanging onto your shoulder, and your other materials jumping in your art container as you ran for your life, er, grades in this instance. At this point, you couldn't bring yourself to care about other people, you were so focused on yourself and the artwork that you just kept loudly apologizing for every person you caused inconvenience to.

“Watch it Eustass!”

“Sorry!”

“Ow-”

“I’m sorry!”

You were about to take a turn but, you bumped into someone’s chest, which ended up with you landing on your butt whilst dropping your art materials and your poster case rolling on the floor.

Disregarding the pain that your pelvis went through, you were quick to apologize. “I’m so, so, so sorry! I was in a hurry- I mean I still am but, like I didn’t see you and-”

As you looked up you were met with the familiar amber eyes that narrowed upon your clumsy self, the person you bumped into was Law. She was the last person you wanted to see. You were tempted to glare at her (an old habit you haven't gotten rid of) but, you ended up going silent as you stared at her. Why did she have to be taller and very blessed around the right departments?

The dark-haired woman crouched down to gather the books she borrowed from the library and the stack of notes she was carrying. The medical student wore a cold expression that you were used to seeing since high school. However, throughout those years you could never tell what she was feeling behind that cold expression. Oddly enough, even though she was cold she attracted a lot of attention though, you could never tell if it was because of her intelligence or her violent nature. Speaking of violent nature, why did Grand Line High allow a delinquent to be a valedictorian student!?

"Hey Y/N,” Her voice brought you back to reality, as she offered her hand to her soulmate as assistance. “Be careful when you walk.”

“To be fair, I didn’t know you’d be here, I assumed you were at the other building around this time.” You sighed, took her hand, and stood up with Law’s help. With her help, you managed to gather your art materials and poster case quickly.

The tanned woman wore a small smile and said, “So you memorized my schedule, huh? Well, aren’t you a good stalker?”

You groaned and lightly smacked her forearm, “Bepo told me! Don’t make it seem like I’m a creep here.”

The girl rolled her eyes, “Why are you running in the hallway anyway?”

“I have to present my final artwork for this semester and I happened to be lucky that my ass of a brother was distracting me in the library. Which is why I'm in a hurry.” You huffed exasperated by Kid’s shenanigans.

Law chuckled, which was cut short as you glared at her, “Sorry, I’m still not used to seeing my academic rival become an art student and, well… discover that they're my soulmate as well.” She admitted scratching her nape.

“You aren’t the only one.” You sighed, silently agreeing with her woes.

You won’t say it out loud but, talking to her as though you were both friends felt weird, weird in a good way. Well, to begin with, interacting with her without the squabbles or taunting her like you used to do during high school was weird altogether. It doesn't help either that you discovered she was your soulmate, you didn't know what to feel… were you supposed to be mad, happy, or sad?

When you first discovered the whole conundrum you were both in, you were mad. The sad part was you couldn't even be mad at her since it was out of her control!

You recalled the night you turned 18, you and your friends were quick to get wasted, with your brother's permission and supervision. Even though you didn't usually drink, you gave in just this once because 18 is usually the age when the red rope around one's pinky showed up. You weren't sure if yours was going to show up or not so you felt like it would be a good idea to get drunk a little to relax yourself.

You, Quincy, Hip, Killer, Cierra, Heat, Kid, Astrid, and Dijoh were taking turns taking shots till one of them spoke up.

“Imagine if your soulmate was Law." Astrid jokingly brought up causing the others to howl with laughter while you groaned. Why did Astrid have to bring that up right now?

Everyone knew about you and Law's academic rivalry. It didn't help either that Kid used to challenge her for more influence among delinquents, so it eventually became an inside joke that one of the Eustass siblings was going to date Law. Since Kid celebrated his birthday and revealed who his soulmate was, it was your turn and you were dreading the results.

The next day, you entered the New World University thinking that nothing interesting would happen. Throughout the whole day, you couldn't stop staring at the red ribbon tied around your pinkie. You tried your best to ignore it but, you felt a random tug from time to time indicating that your soulmate was nearby.

Your curiosity got the best of you and you ended up following the red string, which led you to a familiar dark-haired girl.

“Crap.”

“Shit,” the medical student saw the string tied around your pinkie as well which ended with a stare down between you guys.

It took a lot of convincing from both your friends and Law's friends but, you guys ended up giving each other a chance even if you were both hesitant. Which then ended up in your current very awkward predicament.

“Thanks for helping me out, I'm sorry if I'm bothering you with this." You murmured, scratching your nape.

The medical student reassured you with a small smile, “I'm in study hall, it's not a big deal.”

“So, what's the theme for your artwork?"

“So far the assignments were focused on trying different art mediums and mixing non-art mediums with our art pieces for practice. There was no real theme so it was up to us on what to make so I just made an art piece based on… someone.” You trailed off, embarrassment engraved into your facial features.

"Someone?” Law was intrigued, she never heard you speak to someone so highly. Even with your brother; You never looked up to him, she knows you just respect Kid at most. So hearing you say that was new, she didn't even expect you to look up to someone.

You fidgeted with your fingers, "It's embarrassing, but it's someone who inspires me.”

“So your own Mona Lisa huh?" The dark-haired girl teased, you couldn't tell if she was catching on.

You smiled and confirmed it with a nod, “Yeah."

You were too ashamed to say it out loud to Law but, you made an artwork based on her, she was your Mona Lisa. You never realized it back in high school but you did look up to her; the competition between you and Law is the reason you kept doing your best.

People who knew about you from high school would be shocked by the fact you took art, instead of STEM-related courses. Because they knew a renowned student like yourself, had the grades and the attitude for it. Despite that, you picked up a course that took them by surprise, art.

Many have asked why you chose art as a course and you always replied vaguely. However, the truth is you picked art because you were terrible at speaking the truth. It may be stupid but, the main reason you chose art was to express your true self, words always fail and get stuck in your throat, so you could never express your true self.

After all, art is a medium where you speak your truth, because art doesn't lie.

“One day, I hope to say my love for you in words, my Mona Lisa."

➢ "Reblog to support your favorite writer" belong to @/benkeibear

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Jack, Malleus: Beasts, us Both

Alright, TWST... you friggin' troll 😭 You got me good with those Jack frames... No wolf inspo reveal, I see how it is-- 😂

Because of the angle we're staring at the image from... that macaron Jack is holding looks like a massive GMO green grape… AM I JUST SEEING GRAPES EVERYWHERE BECAUSE OF R*LLO... This would mark the first Disney100 art with some notable changes (how he’s holding the macaron and the angle he’s bending at), most likely to make it look better for a card layout.

A Tale as Old as Time.

A young lion prince and his hornbill attendant were captured in a photo frame. With finger-like feathers, the bird had plucked a strand of fur from the large cat. He lacked amusement, beak poised in a manner that suggested a light telling-off. The cub, for his part, looked upset at the lecture.

That’s right, lions don’t grow their manes out until they’re older.

Jack sometimes forgot that—with his dorm leader prowling around, the most prominent image he had of a lion was that of Leona. Strong, cunning, and self-assured. Nothing like the prince in the painting.

“How cute,” a low voice drawled. “To think that Kingscholar too was once this small and helpless… Fufufu.”

Jack’s eyes cut to the tall, dark man next to him. With long limbs and regal horns protruding from his head, Malleus Draconia resembled a gazelle.

“It’s hard to imagine Leona-senpai like that,” Jack awkwardly confessed. “I met his nephew once, but that only took me more out of it. He was… energetic and bright.”

“Implying that Kingscholar is lacking in energy and a cheerful disposition?” Malleus smirked. “Ah, yes. Much change occurs between childhood and adulthood, some of it attributed to social influences. That child had best be cautious. Perhaps Kingscholar’s attitude will rub off on him, smothering that sunshine.”

“Leona-senpai has his good points too!” Jack blurted out. He didn’t catch himself in time—the words just came, a reverberating bark in the museum.

“Oh? You’re rather quick to defend him.”

The wolf beastman gasped and reeled himself back in. “Y-You don’t see it because you’re not in Savanaclaw, but I can tell… Leona-senpai cares about his students a lot. He’s looking out for us in his own way.”

“Such as when he attempted to have me trampled?” Malleus suggested, his tone quiet yet challenging. “I do so fondly remember that.”

“Urk!!” Jack’s ears flattened. “He does take it too far sometimes. I don’t agree with everything he does. The idea of doing everything you can to protect others, though… that’s something I can understand.”

"It is?”

The first year nodded firmly. “There are stories about wolves working together to chase off invaders who wandered into their snowy territory. Once, a wolf family even took in an orphaned kid. I have my own younger siblings to look after, too.”

“It appears as though you and your ancestors feel a strong sense of duty to your packs,” Malleus noted. Something akin to amusement danced in his eyes. It quickly flickered out, giving way to a deep melancholy. “Family… Hmm. I cannot say I can relate. I have no siblings to speak of. There is my grandmother, but she is my only living relative."

There was a shift—a small, imperceptible change in Jack's stoic face.

"... Sorry to hear that."

"Think nothing of it." Malleus waved a dismissive hand. "The circumstances are as they are. We cannot rewind the threads of fate, only weave new ones.

"Still, it is strange. I have not had the chance to meet my mother nor my father. They were already gone long before my hatching. I should feel no attachment to such strangers. Even so, I feel as though something is missing without them."

He gave a dark chuckle, curling fingers over his heart. "Perhaps there is a part of me that longs for that kind of a family, too."

Jack frowned. His chest throbbed with a dull pain.

“That's..."

Sad.

No brothers, no sisters. No parents, not even aunts or uncles or cousins. Just one big, empty castle, and the creature caged inside of it.

Pacing past ruined wings, furniture strewn about as if a mad beast had run through it in a frenzy. The space filled with loneliness, a hollow feeling that couldn't be fended off.

He shuffled his feet. Resolve slowly solidified. Jack reached for his voice.

"... I don't think you need to worry, Malleus-senpai. You still have people who care about you. Family isn’t all in the blood." Jack bashfully rubbed at the back of his neck, his eyes averted. "It's in the bonds too."

He gestured to the painting before them. "The lion prince lost his dad, the previous king. In grief, he ran away from home--but he still had friends that guided him when he was lost and scared. A warthog, a meerkat, a baboon, a hornbill, the lionesses in his pride. They all came together to show the prince he was loved and needed. Because of that, he was able to come home with his head held high."

Jack clenched a hand into a fist, offering a stiff smile. "Family's something that everyone has, one way or another. They're the ones who always have your back, blood or not.”

Malleus’s face momentarily lit up with surprise.

“My, I didn’t expect to hear such a motivational speech from you. I hear from Sebek that you’re quite standoffish.”

“D-Don’t get me wrong!!” he sputtered, face heating. “On any given day, I’d tackle things on my own. But doing that all the time is pointless.”

“Which is why you choose to follow Kingscholar’s leadership?” Malleus asked teasingly. “You seem to admire him a great deal and acknowledge him as the leader of your pack here at Night Raven College.”

“N-No!!” Jack snapped. “Th-There are just some things I’m not strong enough to do by myself, times when I have to team up with others for a common goal!! Until the day I have the strength to act completely on my own…!”

Malleus laughed softly, his lips lifting into a mysterious curve. "Be at ease, Howl. You needn’t be so defensive. I see your point with crystal clarity.”

“You… You do?”

“That is correct.” The dragon prince’s eyes creased. “You, who seeks strength, shall surely find it—and with that strength, you will not be daunted from protecting what is most precious to you, family and friends alike. You’ve helped me to realize the same. We are both the same kind of beast, fufu.”

Jack took one look at Malleus’s ominous smile and shuddered. It could have decimated the stars, wiping out all the light in the night sky in one fell swoop.

“I’m not so sure that’s a good thing…”

He glanced back at the painting of the lion prince and the hornbill advisor. The distress on the cub’s face suddenly resonated with him.

Jack groaned.

It looks like I still have a lot to learn.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Ace Trappola - Platinum Jacket Vignette

"Happy 100th Anniversary"

[Land of Dawning – National  Museum of Art]

Ace: Huuuh, so this museum's been open for 100 years, huh. It's got some pretty cool exhibits.

Ace: Tryin' to appreciate art just seems boring, and I totally thought bein' a supporter was not my bag, but I might be able to enjoy myself here after all.

Ace: ―Ooh, found me the painting of some card soldiers! Look at 'em, all cool the way they're standing at attention like that.

???: Mhm, their perfectly aligned call to attention is quite the spectacle.

Ace: Ah, hey, Lilia-senpai. You must have great taste to see the true quality of this painting here! Haha.

Ace: If the rank and file are in disarray, then it doesn't look good at all. They gotta be in perfect formation, especially when marching.

Lilia: That's correct. So, you understand what it means to march as they do… Not bad, kid.

Ace: Not that much. I mean, back in my dorm, we just have certain days that all the students are required to march in formation.

Lilia: Kufufu, I heard that practice for that begins as soon as you enter. I've heard many a classmate complaining about it here and there.

Ace: Yeaaaaah, I can see why they'd want to complain. It's not just the Housewarden; even our usually nice upperclassmen come down on us hard during the training.

Ace: The first time I had to march after joining the dorm was the worst. We definitely looked nothing like the card soldiers in this art piece.

Ace: When we looked at the video that Cater-senpai took for us, we could see that the first years' walking was ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Ace: Every one of 'em couldn't get their arms and legs up and moving properly, and they were all looking down. It was sooo lame. I couldn't even laugh at how bad it was.

Ace: By the by, I got praised pretty much right out the gate ♪ They all said that my spirit fully embodied the heart suit card soldiers.

Ace: It's easy for me to just copy what I see the upperclassmen are doing, or what the video's showing. I don't get why all the rest of them were havin' a bad time.

Lilia: OHO～～～?

Ace: Eh? What's with that grin? You're kinda giving me the creeps all of a sudden.

Lilia: How rude of you to call someone as cute as me creepy! But aren't you actually quite the diligent one.

Ace: DILIGENT!? I don't think that word suits me at all!?

Lilia: Not only did you follow the examples set by your upperclassmen, you also watched went further and watched the videos and practiced on your own… I'm seeing you in a whole new light, Ace.

Ace: Ahh, c'mon. Stop patting my head like that. It's not like I was trying to study for it or anything.

Ace: It woulda been a pain and pretty lame if I had to stay behind to practice. That's why I just wanted to get it done ASAP. That's all!

Lilia: It's nothing worth getting all worked up to deny.

Lilia: I think it's rather commendable that you put in the extra effort in order to seek what you think is "cool."

Ace: I'm not getting worked up…! Wait, I got a feeling that if I keep responding, he'll just keep stringing me along to tease me.

Ace: Uh, I'm gonna go to check out the cool-lookin' painting over there!

Lilia: Hey now, don't leave me behind. Kufufu, this must be that adolescence I've heard much about.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Lilia: Let me see, what cool painting were you talking about… Oho, it's of the King of Beasts. He looks oh so dignified, I can't help but find it charming.

Ace: Aaand he followed me… But yeah, I definitely agree that's he's pretty dignified.

Lilia: There are many legends swirling around the King of Beasts. Just from looking at this painting, I can't think of which scene they're trying to depict here.

Ace: Uhhh, based on this info they got plastered next to it…

Ace: Looks like… Oh, it's where he was talking about his vision for the country's future with his hyena retainers.

Ace: I actually really like the story of how the King of Beasts would always trust in his hyenas.

Ace: Oh yeah, and that one where he performed songs for his people!

Lilia: Mhm, that's a good one. He is a sophisticated king indeed to utilize singing to vow to improve his country.

Ace: Riiiiight～? Totally get why the hyenas were so excited that they were singing and dancing all through the night.

Ace: The King of Beasts looks pretty unapproachable from just a glance, but he must have had a ton of charisma.

Lilia: Well, he did have the power to move his people's hearts through song. If he had his due, perhaps he would have been able to sway the whole world with his song.

Ace: Totally. If I had lived during the same era, I would have loved to go and karaoke with him.

Lilia: Speaking of karaoke… I heard you and Sebek went for that.

Ace: Ah, did you hear that from Sebek? We went with Deuce and the two from Ramshackle…

Ace: Jack and Epel also tagged along. But maan, it was pretty insane.

Ace: So many of them were new to it, so I had to teach them everything, from how to choose a new song, to ordering food. You'd think they'd have common sense to figure out, but c'mon.

Ace: We literally couldn't sing a single song for the first 30 min or so, I was like, what did we even come here for!?

Lilia: Kufufu, now, now, you can't say that. I'm sure there's things you're not familiar with, too.

Ace: But c'mon～ …Well, I guess it was kinda fun to have a small competition using the karaoke's scoring system.

Lilia: So, you had a karaoke competition! I would love to tag along next time. So, who won?

Ace: Well, that's obvious… IT WAS YA BOY ACE-KUN HERE!

Ace: When I hit 100 points, everyone was lookin' up at me like idiots, all like, "you gotta be kidding!"

Ace: As a bit of a handicap, I chose of the recent viral songs and did the dance that went along with it, too～

Lilia: Oho, that's amazing that you can sing while moving your body without missing a beat.

Ace: I mean, unlike those guys, back in middle school I would go karaoke a lot.

Ace: And all those guys kept shouting that they'd practice singing so they could sing next time, but y'know…

Ace: There's actually a trick to getting the high score on that machine's scoring function. It's not enough to just be a good singer.

Ace: At this rate, I think I'll be taking home the win next time too ♪

Lilia: Kufufu, looks like even the ones who don't get to spend that much time together with you all had some fun, eh?

Ace: Well, I guess it wasn't too bad.

Ace: They'd choose stuff like old songs that were popular during my parent's heyday, or minor folk songs…

Ace: It was kinda neat that I heard a ton of songs that I normally wouldn't listen to. It was completely different to how it'd be if I was with my friends back home.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Ace: This painting is of those eels that served the Sea Witch…

Lilia: Mhm. It's said that whenever they found merfolk in distress, they would encourage them to seek the guidance of the benevolent Sea Witch.

Ace: Huuh, they look kinda scary, but… Guess you can't judge a book by its cover.

Lilia: Speaking of… Ace, I heard you went a little viral on Magicam the other day.

Ace: Geh! So, you saw that post too…

Lilia: Kufufu, I took it all in.

Lilia: "This scary-looking young man in a flashy shirt was kind to a kid in this burger shop," it said.

Lilia: You did a good thing, Mister "Scary-Looking Young Man in a Flashy Shirt."

Ace: C'mon, can you not tease me!?

Ace: The comments section was going wild with stuff like, "I love that personality gap～" and "The scarier the person looks, the softer their heart is."

Ace: I definitely don't like people just deciding that I'm scary just from how I look, or just assuming that I'm nice.

Ace: More like, I think it was 'cause I was with all my basketball teammates that I ended up looking scary too.

Ace: And 'sides, that patterned shirt I was wearing wasn't even something I'd pick out on my own.

Ace: Floyd-senpai made me buy it sometime back, so I thought it'd be bad if I didn't wear it, that's all…

Lilia: Hm, guess it was a mistake of them to comment on your appearance, then. But it was true that you were nice to the kid, right?

Ace: Nope. I just was throwing something I didn't want at 'em!

Lilia: You gave them something you didn't want…? So how does that turn into being "kind" to the kind?

Ace: So, when my clubmates and me went to the burger shop down in town, we got a free card with our orders.

Ace: Something about how they were doing a collaboration campaign with a movie that was recently released.

Ace: I at least knew what the movie was, so I opened it up, but just as I was thinking to myself that I didn't really need a card, or anything…

Ace: This kid who was nearby just randomly started crying. Apparently they wanted a hero card, not a villain card.

Ace: That's why I just gave him the card I had. It just happened to be the one he wanted.

Ace: I was able to get rid of something I didn't want, and I didn't have to listen to the sound of crying in the background. Win-win, right?

Lilia: Well, when you explain it like that, it definitely no longer feels like a heartwarming story.

Ace: Riiight? But then all the folks on Magicam had to go and try to treat me like a nice guy. Everyone's been teasing me about that too…

Ace: In the end, even the Headmage got wind of the video and just wouldn't stop praising me, saying "This is a fantastic thing you've done!"

Ace: Maan, preconception can be a crazy thing. I bet if I was wearing my school uniform, it definitely wouldn't have taken off.

Ace: They say that it's not all about appearance, but I guess that first impression you get is still important.

Lilia: Kufufu, I bet if the parents of that child were to hear your true feelings about it, they'd be shocked.

Lilia: Well then, I think I'll go on to check out the other exhibits. Bye then, Ace.

Ace: Whew, Lilia-senpai just couldn't stop teasing, huh. Wellll, what should I go and look at next…? Hm?

Ace: Woah, it's a painting of a walrus and the oysters. Lookin' at it here, the walrus really looks like a proper gentleman.

Ace: I bet those oysters were also tricked by how the walrus looked. Can't help but feel sorry for them… Heh.

Requested by Anonymous.

[cophene]

04 || * • ° catching hints of gold

previous chapter || next chapter || table of contents

pairing : ohshc x gn reader summary : perhaps no one at ouran is more qualified to deal with a broken heart than the host club. with a student’s heartbreak painfully obvious to everyone but themself, the host club takes it upon themselves to remedy that. all against that student’s better judgement. notes : multi-chapter fic, sfw, doesn’t follow canon plot word count : 2.5k+

While students began trickling inside the music room to meet with the other hosts, Haruhi found the two of you a table away from the rest of the Host Club’s hubbub to talk. You were grateful for their consideration and told them as much while they expertly poured out two cups of fragrant tea.

“Of course. I can tell you’re not keen on everyone knowing your business.”

You smiled. Then, because you had been wondering about it since yesterday, you asked, “If you don’t mind me asking, what are your pronouns?”

Haruhi blinked. “Oh, feminine pronouns are fine, although I don't really mind either way. I’ve gotten so used to moonlighting as a boy that sometimes it doesn’t even occur to me.”

“I have to know how that happened,” you said. “How did someone like you get lumped into a club like this? I mean, you’re so—so—”

“Normal?” Haruhi said blandly.

“I was going to say down-to-earth, but yeah, that too.”

Haruhi took a sip from her teacup. She had a natural grace to her movements that she didn’t seem to be aware of. “It’s a long story. But the short of it is that I accidentally broke a vase and had to become a host to pay off the debt.”

“Must have been some vase.”

Haruhi closed her eyes as though it pained her to remember it. “Eight million yen,” she said through gritted teeth.

You sucked in a breath. “That’s obscene.”

“You’re telling me.” Haruhi crossed one leg over the other. “But we’re here to talk about you. Why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself?”

“You mean besides what’s on the file?”

“I never look at those,” Haruhi said dismissively. “They’re an invasion of privacy, and they’re creepy. You’re a person. Not a test subject.”

“I’m so glad I’m spending time with you. You make me feel like my fears are actually warranted.”

“The Host Club means well, but that doesn’t mean they always do well. If you spend more time with them, you’ll find out that they get just as many things wrong as they do right.”

You didn’t miss the note of fondness in Haruhi’s tone. Despite how at odds her sensible nature seemed with the Host Club, she liked the club. Liked the hosts. That had to count for something, didn’t it?

“Alright, I’ll bite. What do you want to know?”

“What’s your family like? If you’re like everyone else at Ouran, you must come from money.”

“My parents are art investors,” you said. “They like to sponsor local talent and act as patrons for artists they like. They’re also interested in purchasing and restoring antique pieces. Don’t—” you added, seeing the look on Haruhi’s face, “—ask me about art stuff. I don’t know anything about it.”

“No? You’re not in the business?”

You shrugged. “I know what looks pretty and what doesn’t. And as far as I’m concerned, that’s all I need to know.”

“Fair enough. Fair enough.” Haruhi began to ask another question, but she trailed off, looking at something over your shoulder. Feeling self-conscious, you turned around to see what she was looking at. Immediately, Hikaru and Kaoru whipped around in their seats, returning to the conversations they’d been having too quickly for it to be natural.

“Am I going to have to worry about those two?” you said.

“Probably.”

You narrowed your eyes in the twins’ direction. You scooted a little closer to Haruhi in an attempt to keep the conversation between the two of you.

“So what about you? Do you come from money?”

“No, actually. I’m here on scholarship.”

Your eyes widened. “No kidding? You must be a bona fide genius. Ouran has ridiculously high standards for scholarship students.”

“It’s not too bad. I’m used to working for what I want. If you put in the time and effort, the course work isn’t all that bad.”

You found Haruhi’s humility refreshing. It seemed like everyone at Ouran was bragging about one thing or other nowadays. You probably wouldn’t have shut up about how smart you were if you had managed to get into Ouran on scholarship.

“So is this all there is to the Host Club?” You leaned back in your seat. “You get tea and biscuits. You talk. You look pretty?”

“If only. You’ve only been exposed to a small fraction of what this club is capable of.” With the way Haruhi said it, it didn’t seem like a good thing.

As if on cue, a great gasp went up in the middle of the room. A gaggle of girls had clustered around Hikaru and Kaoru, one of the twins sprawled on the ground while the other tenderly supported his head.

“Oh, Hikaru, are you alright? You really have to be more careful. You’re always so clumsy,” Karou said in a strangely breathless voice.

Hikaru brought up Kaoru’s hand and pressed it weakly against his cheek. “I can’t help it. I wish there was some way to change my character.”

“But you don’t need to change it. Not when I’m here to protect you.”

The twins stared deeply into each other’s eyes like there was no one else in the room. The girls gasped and broke into applause, blubbering among themselves about how sweet and pure brotherly affection was, whatever that was.

Haruhi burst out laughing at the disgusted look on your face. “I take it you’re not a fan of the forbidden brotherly love trope, then?” “Is that what that is? Yeah, no, you can count me out.” You watched the girls freak out over the twins for a few more seconds. If you didn’t know better, you’d say the twins were trying to bite back laughter.

“Are people really into this stuff?”

“They sure are. The Host Club is all about providing genuine, heartfelt romance.”

You scoffed. “This isn’t romance. It isn’t anywhere near it.”

“And how would you know?”

“I know because I—”

You cut yourself off. How did you know? Because you had fallen in love over the break? Because you were still reeling from the breakup? 

Because you still weren’t over him?

“I know because I know,” you finished lamely. “Obviously no real-life romance isn’t like this.”

Haruhi gave you a strange look. It felt like she was prying you apart and could see your words for exactly what they were. You felt your face heating up. 

“What happened?” she asked quietly. “Every time anyone brings up anything about love you seem to close up. I can tell you’re trying to go for the cynical route, but is that really what you’re all about?”

Haruhi’s brown eyes were wide and guileless. She was asking out of pure curiosity, not to belittle you or mock you. For a second, you almost answered her, until you realized dimly that the music room had gone eerily silent.

You looked up, shocked to find a single spotlight beaming down on you. All of the guests had turned in their seats to listen to you, and the hosts were all but leaning over your shoulder, holding their breaths in anticipation.

“You can’t be serious,” you snapped, shooting to your feet. “Where is my guest confidentiality supposed to be in this?”

“You can get that later,” Honey said, leaning forward from his seat on Mori’s shoulder. “Just finish answering the question first. What are you really all about?”

You gaped at him for a second, then looked at the other hosts. Despite the varying degrees of amusement in their faces, they did genuinely seem curious to hear your answer. 

Well. That was too bad.

“Let’s go,” you said, grabbing Haruhi’s hand. “Obviously we can’t have a private conversation here.”

“But where are you going?” Tamaki cried. “There’s no better place to pour your heart out than here!”

“I can think of an infinite number of places,” you retorted. You dragged Haruhi out of the music room, glaring at Kyoya as you left. He only shrugged, as though having everyone in the Host Club and their mother listening in on your conversation was to be expected.

“Paragons of manner and class, my ass.”

“We’re sorry,” the twins called after you. “How were we supposed to know you liked privacy?”

You would’ve thrown them an obscene gesture, but there were ladies present and you did actually have a reputation. 

Haruhi let you take her all the way out of the academy to one of the many fountains gushing around outside. It was your favourite one, the one with the little kid pissing into the water. It never failed to make you snicker.

“I’m sorry about them,” Haruhi said when you finally stopped. She was faintly breathless and you couldn’t help but find it a little cute as she drew up a hand to swipe her hair out of her face. “I keep forgetting you have to build up a tolerance to their obnoxiousness.”

“I can tell they’re harmless. That was just a bit much.” You took a seat on one of the steps overlooking the fountain and patted the spot beside you for Haruhi to join you. For a while, you were both quiet as you watched clouds drift by in the fountain’s reflection.

“Are you going to answer my question?” Haruhi said. There was no pressure behind it. 

You leaned back on your hands. “I’m not really that cynical about love. I believe in it. Just … maybe not as much as I used to. I’m wary, I guess.”

Haruhi didn’t pry any further than that and you liked her all the more for it. You both started talking about whatever crossed your minds, plucking subjects out of the air. You learned about Haruhi’s dad and his fierce dedication to her. You learned about her crazy time in the Host Club. If the anecdotes had come from anyone but Haruhi, you wouldn’t have believed them. 

The little tidbits she gave you about each of the hosts was fascinating. You thought you knew Honey and Mori relatively well, but it seemed that they were completely different people in the context of the club. Kyoya having his own personal guard only made you trust him less, and Tamaki being the son of Ouran’s chairman was probably something you should have seen coming. Haruhi only succeeded in giving you a headache when she tried to explain how it was possible to tell the difference between Hikaru and Kaoru. You were convinced that short of permanently tattooing their names on their foreheads, you would never be able to tell the two twins apart.

What you got out of your conversation with Haruhi was that she was very close with all of the hosts. Her pragmatism occupied its own special nook in the club, and it, along with all of the quirks and ticks of the other hosts, somehow kept the outlandish club going. Even if it wasn’t love or romance, there was genuine feeling in the club. If nothing else, you could appreciate that the Host Club was doing all of this not for any malicious intent, but for the wellbeing of Ouran. In the stifling, uptight academy, there needed to be something this overwhelmingly ludicrous to take students’ minds off of things.

Eventually, Haruhi stretched out her legs.

“I think it’s time we start heading home. We’ve been here for a while.” 

“I think you’re right. My tolerance for bullshit has been all used up.”

Haruhi laughed. She had a light, surprisingly girlish laugh. You liked it. A lot. 

Impulsively, you said, “Hey, if you’re free tomorrow night, my parents are hosting a little art gathering tomorrow. It’s nothing formal. Just a little get-together. I’d love it if you could come.”

Haruhi thought for a moment. “I probably could. Are you sure your parents wouldn’t mind? I’m not—I mean, I’m not really part of the ritzy crowd, you could say.”

You waved a hand. “They couldn’t care less about that. You don’t have to be rich to appreciate art, they’d say, or something sappy like that.”

“In that case, I’d love to go.”

You grinned. “Great. You can come by anytime after seven.” You took out your phone and asked for Haruhi’s number. You then texted over your address, feeling a little giddy that you had her number.

Even though there was nothing to be giddy about. Nothing at all.

You and Haruhi made your way to the front gate. There was an awkward moment when Haruhi turned to face you and you scrambled for some eloquent way to say goodbye. She looked pretty in the fading light. You could make all kinds of poetic comparisons. The simplest thing to say was that the light glimmered, catching hints of gold in her hair and eyes.

Haruhi blushed. You blinked, then swore internally, wondering if you’d said that crap out loud.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, smiling.

“Yeah, see you then.”

You waved, and kept waving until she was out of sight. Why couldn’t everyone in the Host Club be like Haruhi? You might actually look forward to going instead of—

“I hope you know you still have several other trial appointments,” Kyoya said from behind you.

You side-eyed him. “And why would I go to any of them? Haruhi’s a great host. I don’t need to try out anyone else.”

Kyoya looked to where Haruhi had just left. He slipped his hands into his pockets. “I suppose you and Haruhi did hit it off quite well.”

“Yeah. We did.”

“Regardless, it’s important to have an idea of all of your tastes. It doesn’t hurt to have a second choice. There may be times when Haruhi is unavailable as a host and you have to pick someone else.”

“Okay, well then I guess I would just go with Honey or Mori—”

“You can’t know until you go to the trials,” Kyoya interrupted. “We’ll put down a definitive second choice for you after you’ve gone through everyone tomorrow.”

You groaned. “You’re telling me I have to go again?”

“Most people would see that as a good thing. Besides, a broken heart can’t be healed in a day. You’ll have to return to the club multiple times if you want to have a chance of healing anything. We’ll need to monitor your progress.”

“What are you, a doctor?”

“No, although I don’t doubt that the Ootori Group would be interested in any research I might be able to contribute.”

It really was impressive how seriously Kyoya was able to take all of this. If he was playing a character, he was doing it scarily well.

“I’ll stop by if I have the time,” you said. “Later, Kyoya.”

He called your name as you were leaving. He had an odd expression on his face.

“There’s nothing wrong with being wary. Particularly about romance. One might say it’s to be expected.”

Your stomach dropped. “What? How did—”

“I expect to see you at the Host Club tomorrow. I’ll send someone to collect you.”

Kyoya turned curtly on his heel. You thought about going after him, but then you decided you didn’t want to know. You went off to find your chauffeur instead.

previous chapter || next chapter || table of contents

[probably-enjolras]

parking on my college campus is great because all the cars have something that is just slightly unhinged. here is a list of things i’ve seen YESTERDAY alone:

my own car that has a fall out boy bumper sticker encouraging people to keep honking at me and i’ll ignore them in favor of listening to TTTYG

a car that has the license plate “oh worms”

a regular car with military decoration saying the driver was in the marines and had family in the military and it’s all clean and organized except for a corner that just has an alien smoking a cigarette and saying “existence is pain”

a car with the license plate “mstr yda” (Master Yoda) and definitely lived up to it because instead of those antlers you can put on your car for christmas to be a reindeer, this car had Yoda’s ears on it

a car with a sticker that told people to be nice to them because their tummy was upset (AND i know exactly where this sticker came from bc it’s a local trans owned art business that does mostly DND, queer, and funny/relatable stickers, bookmarks, notebooks etc)

the staff parking has roughly 4x the amount of yellow cars than the student parking, even though it’s only two lanes compared to multiple lots for students

a staff car that was almost certainly an english professor with a sticker that said “let me tell you why i hate lord byron”

no one (including staff) following the rules on which corner to put your parking pass sticker on (guys we get free parking all over campus and they will give you more stickers any time you lose yours just PUT IT IN THE RIGHT PLACE)

a line up of three cars next to each other with one being a truck with an american flag with the blue line for the “blue lives matter” thing (gross), a confederate flag (gross also but we’re in rural virginia so not unusual), and surprisingly no tr*mp stickers but pretty much every republican in the state and local areas, next to a small red buggy that was mostly covered in doctor who, star wars, and marvel stickers and a small pride flag in the window, next to a jeep that had the sticker “silly boys jeeps are for girls” and a license plate that said “chicks rule” (in a way that fit the license plate amount of space)

and, my personal favorite because we have the same schedule and i see him at my local bagel place a lot, a guy with an ATV that has a lot of stickers about all the forests, monuments, and national parks he’s been too, but double the amount of stickers telling everyone that he loves bigfoot, bigfoot is real, bigfoot is his sugar daddy, and a line up of different cryptids in the corner that you’d see those little family stickers that show the mom, dad, kids, and pets as stick figures

i don’t like taking pictures of cars, i feel like it’s quite violating and because i’m at a local college if i took a picture, it wouldn’t be hard to actually doxx these people, so you’ll just have to take my word for it but i don’t think i’m creative enough to actually make this shit up lmao

[wishful-seeker]

I will soon be the only person in my close family to not finish college because illness forced me to leave, and thats a strange feeling. Im not sure how i feel about it.

I feel a little alienated because of it, but even though i LOVE learning and i enjoyed college classes, i didn't enjoy college itself.

Even in high school i was the "sick kid" and missed a year there, so feeling like i don't belong isn't new.

But i really thought I'd meet people like me in college, but all i found was snobby rich kids that ignored my existence. I genuinely tried making friends but college students are not my type of people.

I don't know if this is because i wore braces on my knees, or because they could tell i was poor, not sure but college kids always gave me bad vibes.

Im sad that the things im truly passionate about isn't taught in college, and i miss the classes i did have, but i don't think a fancy college was ever my scene. Maybe i would've fit better at a community college. But im probably too disabled to ever find out.

Idk i guess it feels strange because i was heavily encouraged to go to college, and now i can't even if i wanted to. Its weird that i could probably guess the view outsiders have of my life, how they'd feel bad for me, or laugh at what I've become.

And i think of that a lot: how outsiders may view my life. "Oh so sad, look how far she's fallen." Ya know

But im happy

I LIKE my life, sure i got all As and Bs in college, sure i won a writing contest in my class, and yes i also completed a triathlon before all this. So many medals saying "look how hard i worked, look what i accomplished" but when i was accomplishing those trival things i was really lost and alone on the inside, those medals were to convince myself i was better than the years before this one, a lie that i was becoming my best self.

But now all that shit is gone, dead, useless to me. Eventually i was left alone, with NO distractions, only my mind and a body i couldn't move in. Only a bed, in a room, no where else to go. Everything i thought that mattered, everything i connected my worth with, suddenly didn't mean anything anymore, because all that was was my chronic pain, and what i did with it. All that mattered now was fighting for a better life, for freedom from a bed, for freedom within my head.

I had to rebuild myself from nothing, i had to literally rewire my brain. I studied neuroplasticity and my only goal was to train my brain to be able to live with this pain. And i had to change a LOT. I can tell you my mind and the internal dialog in my head is completely different from 2 years ago, and also much a much kinder, and safer place.

So no, i won't finish college, im gonna be poor forever, i wont work, but i am much happier.

I finally feel like the best version of myself. The challenges i face in my life are no longer overwhelming, but a cycle ive grown rather fond of. Im so secure with myself that i can say "this next hardship will be good for me." And i don't think many people have the privilege of being that optimistic when faced with stressful situations.

It would have taken me my whole life to get to this point if i was still focusing on things like grades.

Im happy, and im more proud of myself than when i beat a triathlon, or won art contests.

[strayfoxxchan]

Class Time (Part 2)

Pairing: Bang Chan x f!reader (Y/N)

Genre: Fluff, Teacher AU

Content Warning: None

A/N: Okay, so @that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick requested I finish this, and then I did, and then the power went out, and then I drove out to see my parents, and then the power went out again. So there might... be a part 3 eventually?

Chris motions you toward the door. “Come on, then.”

You gather your coat and bag and join him in leaving the art classroom. You lock up behind you.

“I’m telling you, I am absolutely useless when it comes to… well, any type of sport,” you chuckle nervously as you stroll down the hall to the stairs. “The last time I tried to play a sport, I got hit in the face with a plastic baseball bat, nearly ripped the braces right off my teeth,” you shudder, remembering more the embarrassment than the pain.  [a/n: true story my sister insisted I include]

“B-braces? Are you saying you haven’t done any sports since, what, high school?” He looks aghast. 

“What’s the saying again? Fool me once, never again?” You say. 

He laughs heartily, gasping for air. “I don’t think that’s how the saying goes.” It takes him a moment to recover from his breathless laughter. Something about his laughter made you wish he would laugh all the time. 

You just shrug and flash a smile at him. “Anything to keep these pearly whites safe.” You flick your hair behind you in an attempt to look haughty, but you smile anyway.

Chris pushes the gym doors open, and students are already standing around waiting. They’re scattered about, playing games amongst themselves. 

From the distance, you hear a familiar gasp and the patter of trainers heading toward you. “Wah, seonsaengnim?! You’re here too?!” Dowoon skids to a stop just short of running straight into you. 

“Your coach helped me today, so it’s only fair.” You chuckle.

The students gather themselves around Chris before he even has the chance to ask them. 

“So today,” he starts, giving you a mischievous glance before turning his attention to the students, “we’ll be having a little… how should we say… competition?” He rubs his hands together.

Your stomach drops. Competition?!

“It’ll be Channie-ssaem against Y/N-ssaem and it’ll be a little game of dodgeball.”

You fail to stifle a guffaw and it comes out more like a snort than a laugh. And then you laugh a little more before you stop dead-pan to look him straight in the eye. “D-dodgeball?”

“Don’t worry, we’ll just pick the teams and watch,” he seems to enjoy watching you squirm. “Y/N-ssaem and I will pick the teams.”

Dowoon pipes up from the spot he’s chosen on the floor. “What happens if you win?” 

“Oh, we should make a bet, shouldn’t we?” Chris puts a hand on his hip. “If I win, Y/N-ssaem has to buy me dinner. Counter?” The students ooh and ahhh, nudging each other and giggling. 

You look up at him, arms crossed and lips pursed. “If I win, you have to model for my class for the rest of the week.” This sends a ripple of boos across the class. I guess that wasn’t as spicy as the kids hoped it would be, huh? 

The two of you divvy up the class into two. Chris calls his team the Wolverines, affectionately named after Australia’s own Hugh Jackman, and you call your team the Picassoes. They split themselves off across each half of the gym.

“Alright, kids, you know the rules! No head shots, no groin shots, everything else is fair game. You catch a ball, the student who threw it is out. Make us proud!” He yells, blowing his whistle. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Chris kneel down and hit play on what you can only describe as a CD player right out of the early aughts. You clearly catch his distinctive voice on the tracks, and the music adds so much energy to the already chaotic game. 

Rubber balls are flying about, students running, jumping, and spinning around to avoid being caught by the balls. They laugh joyfully all the while. Even as students begin to get hit, they still cackle raucously. 

And then, one by one, the teams begin to shrink. Rather, your team begins to shrink, and rapidly. They’re having too much fun to notice that their numbers have dropped nearly to half. Chris comes to stand beside you, nudging you. 

“I have pretty expensive taste, y’know.” 

“And I make an art teacher's salary, so it better not be that expensive.” You grumble. 

“I think I want a big ol’ lamb chop.”

“Do they even have lamb chops in K—-,” your sentence is cut off as a rubber ball comes flying and hits you directly in the face, knocking you off your feet. 

You hear balls bouncing as students drop everything to check on you. Chris drops to his knees. 

“Y/N! Y/N, are you alright?!” Chris takes your hand and pulls you up, then runs his hand down your cheek. “It’s all red,” he frowns.

“Sports and me don’t mix, I tried to tell you,” you smile and promptly wince, cheek stinging something fierce. Just as you get to your feet, the bell rings. 

Dowoon runs up to you, backpack in hand . “Ssaem,” he says with a giggle, “have a nice date!” The teenager winks at you and runs for the door. Your hand flies straight for your face, greeting you with another stinging pain where rubber met flesh. 

In his office, Chris sits you down, gingerly placing an ice pack on your cheek. “I’m sorry, Y/N,” he says softly, face full of concern. “You’re pretty tough though, yeah?”

“I suppose,” you say, eyes glued to the ground. He’s close, really close. You look up and the two of you lock eyes for a moment. And then another, and another. You can feel his warm breath on your skin. 

You both clear your throats at the same time, causing a fit of giggles. “S-so, dinner tonight?” He smiles warmly at you. “I’m thinking… Ramyeon? 7/11? What do you say?”

“Oooh, pricey.” You grin. “A little out of my price range, but I can make it work,” you chuckle and wink at him. 

“Shall we?” He holds his arm out which you take as you head out of the gymnasium doors. 

The bus ride back to your stop is much the same as it had been that morning, if a little colder as the sun begins to duck beneath the Seoul skyline. The two of you huddle together a little closer, the warmth of the bigger man enough to keep you comfortable. He pulls out his phone and nudges you. 

“D’you wanna see something cool?” He waggles his eyebrows at you. 

“Is it actually cool or is it something gross?” You giggle at the expression on his face and turn your attention to his phone screen. 

He scrolls through a few apps before triumphantly showing you “Shiny. Charizard.” 

You look back up to him, enthusiastically pulling out your own phone. 

The two of you chuckle like school children, comparing your teams and discussing the intricacies of IVs before the robotic voice signaling your stop rings out over the bus loudspeakers. 

“That’s us,” Chris says, standing up and holding his hands out to pull you up from the seats. He moves beside you, hand placed gently on the small of your back guiding you as the bus slows to a halt. He jumps out of the bus, and holds your hand steady as you disembark. 

“7/11?” You say, and he nods back at you. 

“7/11.”

[azukisoul]

Translation of HijiGin manga: Diary Exchange by saki1010_gt (Twitter)

I think about this manga literally once a week because I think it's akin to something Sorachi would write, so I'm sharing a translation here!

MANGA LINK | Out of courtesy to the artist I'm not reposting her art here, please visit the tweet, refer to the translation as you read along, and show the artist some love!

And the link to the Twitter thread of this translation if anyone is interested!

Translation

[page 1]

G: Oh, so you like me, huh, Vice Chief-san?

G: That's not a good joke to go along with this alcohol.

H: Even so, this is a once-in-a-lifetime confession. Don't make light of it.

G: Hmm.

G: Well, if you say it like that,

G: I can probably answer you through a diary exchange.

H: ...

H: Okay, sure!!

[page 2]

H: Who would have thought that a man one would assume to have dysfunctional relationships like him would suggest a diary exchange?

H: 70% of the world's HijiGin starts with physical contact (based on experience), how hard to get are we being, really? Even rural middle school students are more chill in their relationships than us.

H: Still, handwriting and way with words are also treasure troves of information on one's personality.

H: Maybe it's unexpectedly also a good way to know more about this guy who is the hardest to understand in all of Gintama.

H: I gave him some questions in my first diary I passed to him so he wouldn't have too much trouble writing his, let's see what his reply is...

G: The fleeting spring is slipping away and the heat is encroaching upon us, but I hope you are doing well as you are... Or whatever, doing that each time is a pain so I'm just gonna talk normally from now on like you told me.

H: Hmph, he's unexpectedly a decent writer.

G: Um, first off, my favorite food, right? It'd have to be sweets for sure. Anko and dango are my favorites, but recently I'm into fresh cream too... Yaaawn. I woke up early today so I'm getting kind of sleepy...

H: Hm?

K: My favorite food is sukonbu.

[page 3]

K: I can eat boxes and boxes of sukonbu. I also like foods that go well with rice. Stuff like seaweed tsukudani is the best.

H: Why is the China girl the one answering!? Anyway, the diary exchange thing got completely found out by the kids! Whatever happened to his personal life!?

S: A place I'd like to go have fun at would be a Terakado Tsuu concert.

H: Glasseees!! You too!?

S: Ah, but you don't have to trouble yourself with going with me. I'll just go with the Yorozuya. You can just get us the amount of tickets we need.

H: Plus, he's rude and no fun at all!

G: Wait, what? I was dozing off and suddenly the page got filled up somehow.

H: Yorozuya, realize that you've been infiltrated by an entity called your family! And either way, why don't you read the page back a little!

G: But this kind of thing isn't bad, too. I can say stuff that are hard to say out loud here. To be honest, about you, I... I actually quite...

H: *ba-dump* Huh? Yorozuya?

[SADAHARU PAW PRINT]

G: Man, that's so out of character to say! I'll never write that again! Well, then, until next time. —Gintoki

H: THAT DOOOOOOG!!! I CAN'T READ THE MOST IMPORTANT PAAAAART!!!

[denningsjawbreaker]

die for you | first day

by: denningsjawbreaker

a/n : ill probably be slow to update since its school era but be patient because I have lots of ideas for this story mwahhhh

September 20, 1982

VICTORIA sighs as she gets dropped off at West Virgina Highschool. She absolutely hated being the new kid. All the dumbass introductions ad especially making friends. It was all anxiety inducing and too much pressure...but she did promise her mom to make actual friends and have a great day and Victoria never ever wanted to break her mom's promises.

" okay.... I'm pretty sure my locker is this one " Toria mumble as she looks at the beige looking locker. She begins to put her items she doesn't need inside the locker so her bag doesn't bother her later on the day. She closes the locker and sighs and has her schedule in her hand and she begins to walk looking for her first class.

" Room 205...where th- " Toria mumbles to herself while walking a fast pace before she collides onto another figure.

" WHAT THE FUCK ?! " the voice exclaimed loudly startling Toria a bit. " Great job you dropped my fucking glasses " she picks up her big glasses that has a crack on it as she puts it back on her face and her lips curl staring at Toria.

Toria lips part and sighs and picks up her schedule that feels as well. She can't help but feel slightly intimidated by the girl in front of her but she had to make sure she doesn't seem faze.

" I'm sorry...I'm a bit of a klutz...you see it's my first day here- " Toria begins to explain but it's cut off immediately.

" Well maybe today you'll learn a thing or two about fucking walking and not breaking other people's shit " she sneers harshly before brushing past Toria's elbow hard.

'Jesus she has a temper' Toria thought to herself while rubbing the sharp pain away in her elbow . She sighs regaining her strength to find her classroom whilst reminding herself not to have that commotion she just had again.

' so much for making friends '

-

10 mins later

" R- 205 "

"oh thank God " Toria sighs breathing heavily as she stands in front of the door trying to calm herself.

She opens the room to reveal students in the classroom and a tall man with a beard holding a pointer. She could tell that was her teacher and she already had her nerves awakening again. The room was surrounded by different conversations and friend groups. Toria sighed at that.

Toria adjusted her bag and walked into the classroom trying to get the seat in the back and letting a few " excuse me " before landing a seat near the window .

Toria taking out her notebook and pen she looks around her classroom slowly adjusting to it. Maybe she was just overthinking as usual and it's going to be alright. She stared out a bit for a second before the classroom door slammed open.

" nice to see you made it in time Denning " The teacher said and Toria perked up a bit as her stomach kinda knotting as she sees the girl with the glasses again . " Carol remind yourself to not be late in my class this year " the teacher remarked making the angry girl roll her eyes in response.

' Carol '

Toria not wanting to cause anymore trouble looks away from Carol's peripheral vision and just focuses on her notebook and starts scribbling random ass notes. She could here the stomps of Carol's shoes making it's way to the back of the classroom and Toria slowly turns and sees Carol's arm crosses with a frown on her face.

' she really is an unhappy person ' Toria thought and sighs and genuinely has no idea why she is so interested in her since she made her impression well enough to Toria .

-

CAROL was sitting in the back. Her arm crossed and her back against the hard ass chair. She hated this fucking school and it's dumbass people. She couldn't careless about anything here. Besides her chess club she really had nothing better to do.

She popped a jawbreaker in her mouth and takes her black notebook out scribbling little designs. She adjusts her glasses and sniffs as she draws a new art piece in her book, not even paying attention to the introductory assignment that's been established.

Carol couldn't help but feel eyes on her. Oh did she hate when people fucking stared at her. To her, they were asking for a problem. She immediately followed her guts and looked up to see the same girl who bumped into her this morning and her scowl rises.

" Fucking What ? "

Immediately the girl turned red and looked away and Carol smirked at this. Obviously she had an effect on her and oh does Carol have ideas now.

Carol starts finishing her little drawing and chuckles to herself.

" what to do with you dollface " she sings to herself and looks up at the brown haired beauty that caught the angry bird's interest.

' im going to have fun with this one ' Carol thought

-

After what felt like an eternity, the class was finally finished and Toria rushed to put her supplies in her bag and she gets up and goes out the classroom.

" Yo! dollface..." a voice called out to her and Toria turned around and is faced with a smirking Carol.

" oh... uh hi- " Toria sighed. This was it..maybe a first beat up in her new school is what it'll take for Toria to learn how to be confident. " Look...if it is about earlier,imsorryimjustsofuckingclumsy andIhateitandmymomtoldmethatIneedto learnhowtonavigatewithoutoverthinkingand sometimesijusthavedifficultydoingthatandit's myfirstdayand- " Toria awkwardly rambled

" Shut the fuck up. It's not that. Jesus Christ you talk a lot. I just...look I just wanna know you? Like what's your name cookie ? "Carol said while tilting her head and her jawbreaker visible at the side of her mouth.

Toria opened her mouth slightly and closed it. She's going to have to do her breathe in breathe out technique later.

" I'm Victoria Molina. Toria for shorter um...yeah " Toria said awkwardly and ending it with a thumbs up. Mentally slapping herself for how awkward she's acting right now. Especially in front of this extremely hot individual but that's not the important matter at the moment.

Carol smirked and steps closer and nods looking Toria up and down.

" Victoria....huh?" She tilts her head and smirks and leans against the lockers. " yeah...Imma keep calling you dollface" she says raising both her brows up.

Victoria just nods and shifts a bit and rolls her shoulders back.

" I'm presume you're Carol right ? " Toria tells her and receives a nod back. " It's a pretty name you know " she smiles a bit but Carol just looks at her

" Bitch please that's a basic fucking name. I hate it so much. Don't you fucking lie to me like that again " Carol narrows her eyes but her eyes obvious to the excitement Toria initiates on her ( which she's not used to ) .

Toria looks at Carol with a soft smile. " well I think it's pretty and it fits you "

Carol obviously not used to such compliments shifts uncomfortably and scowls at Toria.

" Whatever...what's your class after this dollface ?" Carol asks .

" I think AP History ? " Toria responds and Carol scrunches her face up.

" ugh you're a fucking nerd. don't go to that bullshit class...come and skip with me " she smirks and takes a cigarette and putting it between her teeth.

Toria mouth agapes and furrows her brows.

" I'm not a nerd...but we still have the rest of the day though ? Plus it's my first day Carol I can't get in trouble " Toria mumbles whilst her hands are in the pockets of her sweater.

Carol rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.

" You owe me remember ? " motioning to the crack of her glasses. " this is your payment dollface and...you don't have a choice " she smirks and staring up a Toria's tensed nature and lights up her cigarette and starts walking out of the school and motions for Toria to come.

' What the fuck did she just get into ? ' Toria thought before heavily sighing and following Carol out of the school.

-

Carol who was standing in front of a red convertible starts smirking as Toria came closer.

" awe was that so hard Dollface " Carol teased and throws her head back laughing.

" where are we going anyways ? "

" The diner where I work....it's called Domingos "

" Flamingos?"

" No you dumbass...Domingos. We can get food there and I'm good with Davis our boss so we can hook up with some good shits "

Toria nod and follows suit into the car and she looks around and it definitely smells of cigarettes and bits of coconut due to the hanging freshener in front of the mirror.

-

The drive was pretty quiet and the only thing visible is the music playing on the radio.

Carol grips the wheel of the car and hesitantly looks at Toria who is staring out and she feels her face softens a bit and tugs on her bottom lip.

Could she really have a friend ? No there's no fucking way. Nobody fucks with her and when they do it all turns to shit. She learned that after finding out Barb had pranked her with her bumass friend and Carol couldn't take that shit anymore .

Carol sighs and tries focusing her way to Domingos and hopes to God she can finally have a good time.

" we're here dollface "

" this looks cozy "

" yeah yeah...get your ass out the damn car Molina "

chuckling Carol gets out the car and walks inside with Toria who was in awe taking in the atmosphere of the small diner.

Maybe just maybe... Things would be okay.

-

Continuing in Part Two coming soon [ Die for You | Diner Troubles ]

A/N: write down if you want to be in the future taglist of this story:)))

[firendgold]

okay @kazuza-art I’m back on a separate post because tumblr apparently has a fucking character limit for text posts. trust my rage.

last time we covered why for me personally gr*ndeld*re has more holes in it than swiss cheese. now we’ll cover why I think time travel harrydore is superior and respects both characters.

                                                               🗲

harrydore

the tl;dr of the below is the following sentences: I don't believe in 'opposites attract' at all, but I do believe that your partner should be similar and different enough from you to keep the relationship fresh and inspiring and romantic. An Albus who's years post-Ariana's death has the emotional capacity and maturity to appreciate Harry as a partner that he didn't have at almost-eighteen.

oh yeah uh, since this is time travel!harrydore we'll put this on the playing field of 'Harry is somehow in a time period where Albus is alive and well and post-1899 stuff'. I have to obviously take canon into account where Harry's a kid growing up and Albus is very much an adult for my arguments, but like... what can you do. I'm not asking That Woman to write me a canon harrydore story. She's a TERF hanging with fascists these days, and also she would fuck it up.

here's why harrydore screams 'solution' to me:

Harry and Albus care deeply about each other, despite their own best efforts, and this is shown consistently. Even when the fandom has been wildly inconsistent and flat-out wrong about Harry and Albus and what they mean to each other, That Woman has kept their bond consistent even through works she didn't write like Cursed Child. Harry comes from an abusive/neglectful environment and his relationship strategy boils down to 'abandon them before they abandon me first'; Albus is allergic to showing his entire self to anyone after being betrayed and left behind, so he talks above people's heads and leads them astray with batty humor. Despite all that, despite coming into their initial headmaster-student relationship with their walls up higher than China's, they eventually became fond of one another to the point where they are constantly re-affirming their loyalty and devotion to one another beyond the cause of defeating Voldemort. It’s to the point where Dumbledore literally dies and Harry, seventeen years old and in danger of dying every thirty seconds in Deathly Hallows, spends a significant amount of time wondering why his mentor wasn’t open and honest with him about his personal life beforehand.

Harry and Albus can (and do) make each other better, physically and emotionally. Albus has an astounding amount of faith in Harry almost from the moment they meet; he talks to and treats him with a lot of respect. This only grows as he gets to know Harry better through their annual “post-Voldemort-tried-to-kill-Harry” conversations. Albus comes to see Harry as a “better man” than he was as a young person, and later in the series he constantly mentions how admirable and unique he finds Harry’s insight, compassion, incorruptibility, and capacity for forgiveness. On Harry’s part, Albus is one of the few adults who treats him kindly from their first interaction—Albus listens to Harry, he teaches him without being condescending, he believes Harry when others don’t, and he shields him from threats of all kinds (Voldemort, Death Eaters, Rita Skeeter, the whole frigging Ministry of Magic). He admires Albus as the kind of man he might want to be someday—someone powerful who isn’t afraid to be a bit whimsical.  In return for Albus’ high regard and protection, Harry freely gives Albus a lot of trust and unconditional loyalty. There are obviously pitfalls in their relationship that happen due to lack of trust and/or communication from both, but both of them are able to acknowledge and admit that withholding things from each other is wrong and only leads to more pain. 

Albus and Harry use their interactions with each other to smooth over their character flaws, instead of exacerbating them. Albus has spent a century being extremely secretive and distant, partly because of his relationship with Gellert, to the point where even characters he knows as ‘friends’ do not know his entire backstory (with Minerva McGonagall being an exception). Harry has spent so long being ignored that he gravitates toward any who are kind to him, but is just as quick to cut people off if he thinks for a second that they are inauthentic or about to betray him. He also has trouble seeing the ‘grays’ in a person’s character: his view of Ron changes drastically depending on whether they’re on the outs or not, and his view of Snape is extremely negative until almost the end of the series, even though he knows the man is spying for Dumbledore for almost three years. But when Albus and Harry spend time together, or share their thoughts and feelings after Voldemort’s latest attack, they take on one another’s better traits. From Harry, Albus learns (to an extent) to be more open with his thoughts and feelings; from Albus, Harry learns how to read people and predict what they’ll do, and how to put himself in others’ shoes before passing judgment.

Meta reason: in the fandom (unlike an uncomfortable portion of gr*ndeld*re fics and fans) the majority of people who either ship Harry and Albus or appreciate their platonic relationship actually love or at least like both characters. Where other ships involving Harry or Albus sometimes involve one or the other being bashed or diminished to prop up the other partner, most depictions of Harry and Albus in harrydore are respectful to both men and try to be as accurate and in-depth as possible. While, you know, understandably sticking up the middle finger at canon for not letting them be together in any way, shape or form thanks to book 6. There are just not as many bash sessions-disguised-as-fanfics or blatant mischaracterizations of Harry or Albus in time travel!harrydore as there are of either man in alternate ships like gr*ndeld*re, h*nny, dr*rry, t*marry/h*rrym*rt, sn*rry, etc.

Albus and Harry change over time and their relationship changes, too, without dissolving. Harry goes from being a bright-eyed innocent with a sharp tongue to a fierce young man with a temper, and then again to a calmer, insightful young adult with a deeper understanding of the world. Albus goes from a cheerful-but-distant headmaster to a more compassionate, hands-on mentor. And although they fight sometimes, although they don’t always make the right decisions for one another or themselves, both wordlessly resolve to keep working on their relationship. The two of them have had significant disagreements (about Snape, Voldemort, and the prophecy among other things) but have never thrown in the towel. The only reason it ‘ends’ is because Dumbledore passes away and unwittingly leaves Harry alone.

Some might argue that Harry gives a lot in harrydore and Albus takes. I would counter-argue that the giving and taking is almost even between them. Albus sacrifices just as much and more than he does with gr*ndeld*re: his time, his family, his reputation, and his life; but with harrydore he actually gets something back. Harry’s devotion is notable in the series for not being blind hero-worship, but rather a deep appreciation of Albus Dumbledore as a human who makes mistakes but has good intentions. Harry consistently gives Albus tangible (information, the Sword of Gryffindor, random Horcruxes) and intangible (trust, support, faith) things in return for the constant risks Albus takes to keep him safe behind the scenes.

Finally, Harry as-an-adult is to me personally a golden opportunity for Albus, who constantly talks about the value and importance of love, to experience it for himself. We do get some of this in canon through their platonic relationship, but romantically Harry has a lot of traits that a post-Ariana, post-Gellert Albus would appreciate and find compelling. Harry’s very straightforward and says what he means; he may not be a genius or a prodigy, but he’s pretty smart and powerful in his own right; and he values his bonds with others, and will do anything for the people he loves and/or considers family. A wounded Albus who lost his family and the love of his life would be pretty well-served by someone who would remain faithful to him and would not leave his side, no matter what.

In summation: time travel!harrydore is peak in both fandom and meta and it easily clears. gr*ndeld*re could never

[cookinguptales]

more personal thoughts again, and under a cut as usual.

because it's the time of year for retrospect, I suppose.

This year, for various reasons, I've had to think a lot about my teenage years. Let's just say that my past has come back to haunt me, and I've had to decide whether or not I consent to be haunted.

It's been worth it, in the end, as many painful things are, but... I'll admit there have been growing pains.

So many people have been looking back on the past in preparation for the new year, and I guess I've just been looking a little bit further than some. For many years, it was easy to hate the person I was as a teen. Like many teenagers, I was kind of annoying. Thought I knew everything. Loved too hard too deeply too often. Was kind of at an 11 at all times.

Trusted some people who I really ought not to have trusted.

And it was easy, honestly, to look back at the me I was back then and disparage her. Oh, look at all the messes she got herself into. Look at all the stupid shit she believed. Look at the people she allowed to hurt her. Look how cringe she was, how mean, how annoying, how impatient. How desperate she was to be loved.

But... I'm 33 now, and this year as I've been forced to really look back on the life I lived back then, I've realized that I've been a grown woman bullying a teenage girl.

Of course I didn't know the things I know now back then. I hadn't had the very painful opportunity to learn them yet. Of course I thought I knew everything. I was in that weird place that teenagers exist in where they know more than people think they do but not as much as they eventually will -- and frankly, I was actually very smart, in retrospect. Of course I was impatient; I was so fucking sick and I had so many responsibilities and so little time in which to accomplish them.

I was such a normal teenager, as far as shittiness goes, and one that was doing her best in what were truly terrible circumstances. I was dealing with housing insecurity, physical and emotional abuse at home, severe medical problems, medical abuse on top of that... And sexual abuse, eventually, once a very unsafe adult realized just how vulnerable I was and was drawn to that. She really delighted in alienating me from my peers even more than I already was, so it's cruel for me to be angry at myself for letting it happen.

(It's strange. Almost every person I've been able to force myself to tell the details of what happened to said, almost to the exact word, "I hate her for what she did to you." And it wasn't until I heard it a few more times this year that I was finally able to realize that for years, the only person I hated for it was myself. She hadn't even let me have that, the ability to hate her for it. She was too good at making me think it was all my own fault. I'm getting better at letting myself feel that anger for it, though. And directing it at the right place for once.)

It's so easy to remember all the times I blew up at people, got in arguments with my friends, said dumb shit, embarrassed myself, hurt those around me. But I've been remembering other things, too, lately. The way I would always invite new students to sit at lunch with us. The way I would make presents for my friends. The way I reached out to other students who I saw were struggling, both emotionally and academically, and the way I tutored the younger kids for hours before and after school. The way I would learn new things, even when I was being encouraged not to. The way I would fight for the rights of others even when I couldn't do it for myself. The way I would try to protect people like I was not being protected myself.

The way that hope and optimism attracted me like a moth to a flame, and how it was the one thing I truly wished I could believe in.

The art I made, the friends I loved, the kindnesses that were important to me... I feel like I can finally acknowledge the life that I breathed back into the world, not just the resources I was sucking up when I breathed in.

I feel so strangely protective over that teenager now, especially because I spent so many years being her biggest detractor. I see that she was just trying her best, and that she had a thousand huge feelings and no good place to put them. She was struggling with ideas that were too big for her, especially because she had no one trusted to guide her through them. She did her best to be kind, but didn't always succeed because none of us can, really. She loved foolishly even as she felt wise because... she was just desperate to find someone who was safe to love, I guess.

And I guess she never really found that.

As an adult, I can see that I wasn't a failure; I was being failed. There was so little safety in my life back then, so how can I be angry with myself for ending up in unsafe situations? How can I be angry with myself for being an abused child when there were adults there who wanted to abuse me? How can I be angry with myself for believing what I'd been taught, what I'd been sabotaged in my attempts to unlearn?

Back then, I was really trying to make sense of the world through the evangelical lens I'd been given, and while I was irritatingly liberal to the adults around me there, I had no way of knowing how truly conservative I was until I got out of that place. I literally just did not know how much of what I'd been taught had been lies until I started being taught the truth. I couldn't exactly unbrainwash myself until I'd found a safe and encouraging space in which to learn.

I remember going to college and saying some dumb shit in class like day one and being so terribly embarrassed when I realized that everyone in that room thought I was an idiot. But I just... made a conscious effort to learn and be better, and I realize now that many people can't bring themselves to do that. I wasn't perfect as a teen (who is?) but I always did my best to grow. To learn better, to be better. To be kinder.

I guess I can look back on the things I suffered now and understand how I dealt with them. And, with very few exceptions, I dealt with them by trying to make sure no one else would ever go through them. I can see the way that I would choose these causes, these battles, these windmills to tilt at and it was just -- that protectiveness, I think, coming out in a new way.

It's always been easier for me to protect others than myself, I think. Easier to extend to grace to others than to myself. I always managed to see others as victims who should be protected, who should be taught, but myself as an idiot who should've known better.

And once I was able to distance myself from my childhood self, that little girl who was being hurt by almost everyone around her, it became easier for me to want to protect her as well. To see her as an imperfect person worthy of love all the same. A person who should've been protected and supported back then. By them and by me.

But... I think I'm just kicking the problem a little ways down the road again. Because even as I wrote the first version of this post, as I wrote a post about how this year has been a journey of looking at my own childhood with clear eyes and realizing I was never as awful as I believed myself to be, I realized that like... I still do it, really.

I still get mad at myself for not being "good" enough. I still get mad at myself for being unable to complete work at the same rate as able-bodied people. I still get mad at myself for making mistakes, for believing things that aren't true, for not knowing everything before even having a chance to learn it. I still feel embarrassingly desperate for affection.

I still get so mad at myself for not being perfect. I feel like I'm never good enough, smart enough, kind enough, patient enough, interesting enough, stable enough, determined enough, productive enough, adult enough. I still tell myself that I'm an idiot for ever believing that someone might love me.

I can forgive my sixteen-year-old self for believing religious propaganda because I'm not that sixteen-year-old anymore. I can forgive my sixteen-year-old self for being awkward with others because I'm not that sixteen-year-old anymore. I can forgive my sixteen-year-old self for falling in love with a sexual predator because I'm not that sixteen-year-old anymore.

I can forgive her because she's not me.

So... I guess it's still a problem for me. Being able to forgive the person I am now for being an imperfect human who makes mistakes sometimes. Who isn't always productive or likable or charitable or kind. Who doesn't get things done on time, who has a messy-ass house, who still has a pile of unmailed Christmas cards near the front door. Who still gets really, really sick. Who will probably have to take medication for pain and for mental illness for the rest of her life.

I think... what helps is still, as ever, externalizing things. I still find it so, so difficult to love myself, so it's difficult to believe that others could, either. So instead of trying to brute force it, instead of just going "well, just love yourself more, you idiot," I think of the ways that... other people don't think of me like that.

My friends are happy to get Christmas cards from me even if they come in January. They like going out with me even if we have to move our plans around for accessibility's sake. They're patient with me and they think I'm kind and they like what I create. They think about me when I'm not there, and it's because they love me, not because they're irritated.

I worked with a new author last year. She was really high-profile, and I was really nervous about it. We were working one-on-one, not through a publisher, so there was really nothing to hide behind. I ended up being late with my edits, and I felt awful about it. Totally embarrassed, guilty. I felt like I'd never be a real adult who could get things done on time, who didn't have to fight both my body and my mind for every. single. win.

I met that author again in a social situation several months ago. I was so afraid that she'd be mad at me, for some reason, but she just told me that she was constantly impressed with how hard I work and how hard I try and how much I want to support the people in my life. She knew how hard it was for me, so she was proud of me for never giving up.

(She's old enough to be my grandmother, so this didn't come off as particularly condescending, lmao.)

idek man. I give myself so little grace that it's impossible for me to imagine others doing it. But... idk, I'm trying harder to do that. Imagine people liking me, caring about me, respecting me artistically and professionally. Like when I say that I have literally been practicing! Like it's a skill to develop! lmao

At the beginning of this year, when I imagined people liking me I felt almost ashamed of myself. Like I was putting people in situations that they'd never want to be in, even mentally. Now... I mean, I still feel silly and kind of dumb, but it's a step up from guilty, like I was insulting a person by imagining them caring for me.

So... going forward into the next year... I'm not going to be making all these big NYR that I'll inevitably mess up and then get mad at myself for. I've spent enough of my life mad at myself for being human and for being hurt after life hurt me.

I just... one NYR I always make is to try one new, fresh thing every week. A new tv show, a new musician, a new book, a new food. Just something totally new to me to keep things fresh and exciting.

(This, I've learned, is good for my depression. Enrichment for the tiger, etc.)

Another NYR I make every year is that every time I talk about how much I didn't enjoy something I consumed, I talk about something else I did enjoy. When a bad thing happens, I try to think about a good one. This helps me balance my negativity with my positivity and prevents me from getting too bogged down.

But... this year I also want to put actual, focused practice into letting people love me. Believing people when they praise me. Imagining people loving me and enjoying me and wanting to be around me. Imagining people enjoying my mind and my heart and even my fuckin ramshackle-ass body.

And... I know this one is less concrete and more of an ongoing battle, but... I want to work on forgiving myself. I want to look at my "crimes" and think of them the way I would if it were my friend, or a stranger, or the child that I once was. Something to fix, perhaps, but not something innate or unforgivable.

idk. I just get so worried about being kind to other people, but I'm such a dick to myself. That seems unfair, and I do want to be a fair person. So I really want to work on that. I don't want to bully anyone, least of all myself.

And I guess I'll just keep making personal posts on tumblr, lmao. (I really do miss journaling communities...) I always worry that I'm oversharing or annoying people or generally being Too Much, but... the way I see it, they're tagged and they're under read mores. People can make their own decisions whether to read them. And, much to my genuine shock, some people have sent me messages for being so open about my thoughts, feelings, and experiences on tumblr.

So I guess I'll keep doing it both for me and for you! And the people who don't like it just don't have to click.

The one piece of advice that's really stayed with me over the years is that... y'know, people like to help you. They like to be empathetic. They like to be patient. So instead of apologizing when you've inconvenienced someone, thank them for that patience, empathy, and help.

Instead of apologizing here for the space I take up, I'll just thank you for giving it to me. And thank you for reading what I write. 💜

Happy New Year, and let's enjoy it with kindness.

[nerves-nebula]

what made your first year of college so much worse than the second?

godddd where do i even start. Complaining goes under the cut cuz it’s too damn long.

8 hour studios 3 times a week that start at 8 AM and only break for lunch. one of the professors expected us to stand the entire time we were drawing and only sit when we went on break. plus homework for those studios, because each studio was a different foundational class. and on the days when you dont have those studios you got other foundational classes like art history and literature or something. you've got homework for all of these classes too and tests and everything.

and each studio being a different class is a huge issue and really frustrating as well. the classes are drawing, design and, like, basically a 3D class, right? where you use power tools and carve stuff and all that. But imagine you go to this school for painting or to make clothes, then the three foundational classes might just really bore and frustrate you. because you don't really feel like they're helping you gain any skills in your preferred major.

so you have all these artistic kids who want to do their best, being forced to do things they hate and being told it's to make us "more well rounded." (which dont get me wrong i understand, but that doesnt make it suck any less)

so all the art you make is painful to create, and you don't even like the result. but we knew what we signed up for, and the point is to last past first year so you can get into your major. thats the point for me, at least. so you just get what you can done, but i cant imagine what I would've done if i'd fallen behind even once.

And then my own personal hell- being in a new place and not knowing what to do or who to talk to or how to communicate ! So i was constantly stressed out in like a social way. idk if i vented about this here but i fell over in a fit of anxiety and hyperventilation in class multiple times first year. I straight up fell over at least twice and i had crying fits multiple times (with varying degrees of how quiet I was being, sometimes they don't even notice :D)

I was incredibly emotionally isolated and cried myself to sleep like every night. my only social interactions were at work because I'm very bad at socializing properly and making friends in class, and i was always too tired to go to any events. LUCKY for me I met a really cool friend while doing some student work and it was really nice and chill.

ANYWAY BACK TO THE STRESS. to give an example of the situation: our first homework for drawing class was to make this big ink master copy of a van gogh sketch, and it didn't have to be perfect, or even GOOD tbh, but regardless it took forever. and i spilled my ink on it which nearly led to a breakdown but instead i just laughed cause otherwise I'd go insane. the amount of podcasts and audiobooks i burned through that year just to keep myself sane was mind-numbing. i listened to, no joke, ALL of Well There's Your Problem, and i went back and listened to a lot of them more than once.

i was really lucky though, cause some other students had first projects that were like "bring in 50 drawings by next class" or "make a chair out of only cardboard that you can sit on without it collapsing" or something. and i never had a teacher that bad.

actually, my second semester design professor was really REALLY chill. He let me sleep in class if i finished the work so I spent a few hours in his class just chilling and sleeping fitfully (as in I was so stressed i would gasp and mutter myself awake, which really alarmed my classmates but i never got close enough to them to explain myself soooo they prolly just think something is wrong with me. which it is! oh well)

i can only speak for myself but i was basically working any moment i wasn't sleeping, eating, shitting, or showering. somehow other people made time to befriend each other and hang out and like, go to parties??? i dont know how. Frankly I don't even remember how i did what i did either, specifically I reached out to my college's mental health services and got on some medication for anxiety. I also somehow managed to write an essay for our student published thingy about how I wanted to kms and felt unsupported by mental health professionals lmao.

I have NO IDEA how i did any of that because this year i kept falling asleep for five hours in the middle of the day. my theory is that I got more done because I physically HAD TO STAY AWAKE. I COULD NOT ALLOW MYSELF TO FAIL.

I was so stressed out the first year that I often couldn't sleep without hugging my giant elephant stuffed animal or using it as a comforting weight on top of me. one morning i woke up hyperventilating and went to go cut a huge role of paper at like 6 AM because i was so worried about forgetting to cut the paper before i left before class at 8 AM.

so yeah, my theory is that since second year wasn't that insanely stressful, all those hours i spent eking out any artistic joy possible (making owl house comics, writing that essay, and painting my clothing) just to make sure i didn't kms were replaced instead with me just falling asleep at inopportune times, because I wasn't as scared that I wouldn't have time for my work.

OH MY GOD AND FIRST YEAR I GOT PUT IN TWO CONSECUTIVE GROUP PROJECTS WITH THIS ABSOLUTE MONSTER- but that could be its entire own post. suffice it to say that he had been reported multiple times for various things and one of my classmates recognized who i was talking about just from me vaguely complaining about how much i hated him.

anyway im sure there's even more that i forgot about but to be honest i think i've explained enough.

[bunny-hoodlum]

☆ Share 3 fun facts about you, then pass this to three of your mutuals! ☆

Wow, I've been tagged four times! @alexis513, @littlemonstert-blog, @mrs-messy and @mysummerchoi, thanks for tagging me. :3

@mysummerchoi, I feel the exact same way. 😭 Plus, I'm not used to supplying info about myself when asked, haha. That stuff always evaporates from my head. ( . _ . )

I might have maybe almost died when I was three or four? Just kidding, but my mom thinks so. It was a day at a Californian beach, I was buried up to my neck in the sand for a picture and I guess they buried me too close to the water, so when a wave washed over me, they completely lost me in the sand, like either I sunk in deeper or sand washed over my head. My uncle just scooped me out like shwoop! lol. Without a picture, I won't know if it was a bad as they thought it was.

I can be clumsy and hurt myself and for whatever reason I never get scared or feel pain with this happens. Sometimes it feels predictable or like it's happening in slo-mo and I just go 'damn' before it happens. Like, at my old job working warehouse, I tripped on my ankle I think? And I just neatly fell forward like a feather, like I just knew not to resist or I'd hurt myself more. Try to imagine a lego man but with bendable knees. Now picture how you would use that lego man in a stop-motion film. It was like that. And it was so weird too that I thought it was funny. Sometimes when I derp and hurt myself it is actually pretty damn funny, but if it happens too often I get severely frustrated and devolve into a 5-year-old. Another time we got rear-ended twice near the offramp to Santa Barbara, and before the second impact, I just relaxed expecting it -- cuz you know, shitty drunk drivers survive because they literally can't tense up or do something worse like move to look behind them (you will hurt your neck doing that) -- But… But..! Try to get my attention when I can't see you, I freak the fuck out. This was probably more than one thing, but I think it's all related to each other lol.

Maybe this is too personal, but I always find psychology and whatnot very interesting, so from that perspective I'll share this bit of dumbassery: My attachment style has improved but is still pretty damn fucky. I just recently remembered how I had a crush on this boy in middle school (our middle school had 3 separate schools attached, so only time you could mingle with students from another jr high was after school clubs and we met in art club and bonded over FLCL), and I didn't know I liked him until the following year, but then I couldn't do anything about it because he was already dating someone else, a witty Korean-American girl (and I also had a complex about not being Asian enough). Time skip three years and he's finally a freshman, so I get to see him again. (We were same age but he had to start school late). I ask if he's still with her (because I still got some feels leftover) and he said she moved to Canada and had a girlfriend. And fuck if I know why cuz... I don't. My initial reaction wasn't 'Oh goody, I get to try again!'. No. I thought 'She's bi?! Why didn't she have a crush on me?!', like in that split second I wanted to be HER girlfriend instead of this other person. How dare this totally cooler than me girl that grabbed my crush find her own super cool girl to be with, like, first I'm not good enough for him, now I'm not good enough for her, I can't even begin to imagine how cool her Canadian GF must be, blah blah blah, she must be unsurpassably cool because she was chosen by someone also unfathomably cool and that's just how that shit works, blah blah blah-- sigh. The silent screams of my pathological need to be important, everyone. And that is why I will no longer do vent posts, because I feel super ashamed whenever I get validated for my bullshit. ; u ;

Haaa, alright, pick three mutuals. Hm. Feels like everyone got tagged tbh... @peppercornpress @char-lotteral aaaand @spaciousignatius 💖

[saturnns-star]

Human au fanfiction that I’m keeping to myself and friends my beloved 🧎‍♀️💞

The clumsy 2nd teacher slowly started to grade papers, it was so hard with all the distractions. The kids were just so entertaining! Of course there were quarrels here and there but, hey, At least they’re not teaching high school. God it pained them so much to quietly explain to the upset professor that the student he was ranting about was in-fact their sister. She would always be pulling these elaborate pranks. “She flunked the test!” This, “She fell asleep in class”, that. August knew she was troubled but she wasn’t bad, she just didn’t like the classes she had. She begged August to switch her to the art course with her friends, August would’ve, if it wasn’t for the fact that summer break was 2 months away.

August handed the kids their tests, they felt bad for one kid though. The kid who had lost both their arm and leg, always showed enthusiasm for school, had flunked the test. August’s heart began to break as they watched the kid tear up and start to cry. August heard the bell ring as they were lost in their thoughts, thankfully enough the kids knew what to do. They waved the kids off and began preparing for tomorrow. That is, until a certain thing happened.

August saw 2 hands slam on their desk, August looked up, in a startled manner.

“Do you know why my son came out of school crying today?” The enraged parent half shouted.

Oh. This was Simons dad?

“Oh? You must be Simon’s dad!” August sputtered out.

“You’re correct. Now answer my question.” The father said coldly.

August was starting to hate their existence as the angry father waited for an answer.

“Well..Your son made a bad grade on our most recent test, I was going to-“ August barely was able to get out before they were so rudely cut off.

“My son doesn’t make mistakes. All of his past few tests have been A’s. Let me see, you may have made a mistake.” The father said in a neutral tone.

Oh, He was one of those parents.

“Oh,uhm. I’ve given your son the test. Unfortunately, it’s no longer in my possession.”

“Actually I have it right here, you can’t escape that easily” he said in a serious but playful tone.

The father sat down in one of the reading chairs and began to look over the test. August felt it was rude to stare so they started to text their sister they were unable to pick her up.

“You made a mistake on problem 5.” He broke the silence calmly.

“Oh,I apologize, sir. It’s hard to grade papers when the children are playing.” August said in an embarrassed voice.

“Please, Just call me Felix.” He said with a small laugh.

“I’m August.” They said with a smile.

“That’s a nice name, but we must continue.” Felix said.

Felix calmly explained the 4 problems that they had errors in. The grade now at a 90% or higher.

“I am so sorry that test was rushed a-“ August frantically tried to explain.

“It’s fine, I’ve had to deal with worst in the past.” Felix said with a reassuring smile.

Felix got up and started to apologize for the inconvenience as he made his way out. August started to pack up, as their sister hadn’t seen their message. Just as August was about to put their phone away they saw a piece of paper on their desk. They read it out silently to themself as their face started to get a crimson red.

‘It really was a pleasure to discuss this with you, I enjoyed the mutual understanding. If you ever need help with anything, call me.’ was written in a neat handwriting. What followed was a phone number. No wonder he took so long to look over 5 2nd grade level questions, August laughed to themself lovingly.

August = August = Made by Me

Fear= Felix = Made by @slow-snail

Parma = Parma = Made by Me

Silly = Simon = Made by @slow-snail

~ Other Characters That Will Be In Other Chapters/Writings With This Prompt ~

Aimless = Aimless = Made By @aimless-aimz

Artis = Artis = Made by @artis-lined

Lumi = Lumi = @luminous000

~ Referenced Characters ~

@locallesbianinyourarea

@i-dont-draw-stuff

Aaaaimsosorryformakingyourefrencedidkhowtoaddyouintothisstoryplztellme-

[kayssweetdreams]

Prim and Proper Problems Ch 2

Meanwhile, At the Barnum Naka School of Performing Arts...

The students of the Performing Arts school had gathered in the theater like auditorium for a surprise assembly "What do you think this is about?" Ren Brand asked "Beats me. Maybe your mom's coming over again." Miguel Gallard suggested, looking next to him. "No...My mom would have told me about it." Kaylo said, also curious about what was happening.

Just then, Principal Delaney Martinez Uta walks onto the stage, prompting applause from the students "Thank You! Thank You! Oh good afternoon students! Today we have some visitors that have decided to come by out humble school today! Now this is...actually the first time I have heard of this school, but they are Prim. Proper. Perfection. And now, put your hands together for the headmistress of the school herself: Madame Prim!" She cheered.

The kids let out loud applause as their mystery speaker made her way to the center of the stage. However, the applause quickly died out when the withering glare of Madame Prim adresses them all. "Good afternoon children. My aren't you all...interesting." she said, almost sounding disgusted at the various students.

"I have come today out of...the kindness of my heart to introduce your school, to mine. And my students...to you." She said, raising her hands out, and promoting the uniformed girls to walk out to the front of the stage, as well as the rows of the Auditorium. The performance students all shrunk back from the girls, almost disturbed at these strange new students that didn't seem to show emotion.

"I hope that you all can teach my girls something...and maybe they can teach you ALL something." Madame Prim finished. The sound of very slow, and very unsure clapping was heard through the auditorium before the students were released. Unnerved by the assembly, the various students tried to forget what happened, but that became a challenge as the uniformed girls now ROAMED the grounds.

During break, Miguel and Kaylo practiced a song they needed to perform for a project, causing a crowd to form as some kids began to dance as well. The practice however was cut short by a few of the "Prim" children walking over to Miguel, and held their hand over his guitar, making him angrily ask why they did that.

"Why would you play that unbearable noise? You should be practicing REAL music." They said. This made Kaylo and Miguel mad "HEY! this IS Real Music!" Miguel yelled "No it is not. Real music is dignified, serious, and Proper. Not this." They said. Kaylo glared at the prissy girls before coming to Miguel's aid "So? Who are you to say what is and what isn't real music?" She asked, planting her fists on her hips.

The girls directed their attention towards her, before giving out shrieks at her "What on EARTH are you wearing?!" They asked. Kaylo raised an eyebrow "My clothes. What does it look like?" She asked sarcastically before one girl pulled at her pink hair, making her give a pained yelp "And this hideous pink wig, I'm surprised your parents let you leave your house." Another said.

This enraged the girl as she pulled her hair back "NOW YOU SEE HERE. My hair isn't a Wig. And there isn't ANYTHING wrong with the music that me and Miguel are playing." She said. The first girl glared back at her "You shouldn't even be singing to this filth. It isn't prop-" however, Kaylo cut her off "I'M NOT FINISHED! There's nothing wrong with the music. And another thing. I can choose what I can, and Cannot sing. NOT YOU. And as soon as you leave, we're just gonna play again anyway. So if you don't like it. If I were you, I'd move away, because we're not going to stop, move, or do ANYTHING you say." She said, glaring daggers into them.

The girls looked to see the other students, looking equally upset at what they were doing. Sticking their noses in the air, with what little dignity they had left, sauntered away. Kaylo gave a satisfied nod before the students cheered for her and Miguel, both for the performance, and for standing up to the strange girls.

However, they were unaware that the girls were still watching them, the faintest spark of anger seen in their eyes. "Their music is imperfect...That girl is Imperfect...She must be fixed...immediately...

Ren and Miguel Gallard belong to @sundove88