#nothing matters so therefore everything matters and life is ok actually

[harrylights]

✨ I GAY STARGAZED ✨

[ahli-stuff]

The Corinthian: more than an object but less than a human and a wretched reflection of his creator

My obsession with the Corinthian is so funny because at first it's like ok. Cool. He's this gay serial killer nightmare with creator issues who's turns out to be a charming antagonist while he's pitted against dream and going about his nefarious plans on screen. What's not to love?

But then there's the next layer of oh...he has preferences and quirks and interests, but he's not a person enough to be a human he's a tool.. that's why he gets unmade in the middle of the street by his lord!! That he had a couple millennia of history with!! Because it's easy.. Dream has the blueprints, therefore remaking the Corinthian and editing out these faulty design aspects is pragmatic. It's efficient. It's less effort and way less emotionally taxing that trying to wrangle in your rogue creation and trying coax them back into doing their job. A human makes a mistake, you correct and reprimand them and offer a better course of action. But if your wrench rusts, you throw it away and buy a new one. It doesn't matter if it's your prized or even your favorite wrench, if it's been rusted to the point of uselessness, you toss it.

And the Corinthian, the agonized wrench, can probably only think: "Did I really mean so little to you?"

I think it totally fucks with his mind. The fact that Dream refers to the Corinthian as his masterpiece and yet he is still lesser in every form of his being—his agency is lesser in every form.

But you can't really blame Dream, can you?

Dream treats the corinthans agency like he treats his own—unnegotiable. For him, it has always been perform your function or die.

Dream: We are, each of us, born with responsibilities. Even I am not free to choose to be other than what I am.

And the Corinthian, in his own eye teeths, has performed his prescribed duty perfectly without hesitation or fail for thousands of years as well and worn as a well used knife—but he knows he can do more, so he does. Because if his function is to chase and slaughter in the dreaming, what's to say can't do it in the waking too?

Besides, in the waking, he's realer. More combobulated. More valued. If you're a mirror for long enough you start to crave a look of your own.

And oh, even with the thrill of newfound freedom, he loves his lord. He's eager for to give to him—to share with him—everything that's ever been dreamed of. In the Corinthians long, long, life he has only ever had his purpose and his lord and for a while that was enough, but his expectations evolve, he changes.

And that's really what dooms him.

Over the course of The Sandman you can see that looking deeper into Dream's ideology "perform your function or die" reveals one of the true themes of the sandman which is "change yourself or die." The Corinthian, whether intentionally or unintentionally serves as a mirror to dreams own character arc and the way dream treats himself.

Like how people put facets of themselves in their original characters, I think that in the corinthian Dream put a version of his own insatiable hunger; to break every rule, to run freely, to enjoy hedonistically. In creating the Corinthian as a mirror Dream unknowingly reflected a distorted face of one of his own buried desires—and i think he couldn’t accept that.

The Corinthian even calls dream out for it at the serial convention (even though he's advocating for murder) he's also jabbing at Dream's unwillingness to show emotional vulnerability and the cage he's built around himself.

Corinthian: Or you might actually feel something.

The dream the Corinthian knows he always cared exceptionally little for humans save for a select few, so what remains is this. Dream might've cared for the Corinthian, but he would unmake him, his prized creation, not for any moral justice, not for a personal slight, but for his rules and nothing else.

For the corinthian, who has spent years upon years upon years with his lord, fighting in his wars, chasing after his approval, pouring every ounce of love and loyalty to him—it stings.

And then there's this scene.

Dream: You're right. This was my fault, not yours. I had so much hope for you. But I created you poorly then.

This is the Corinthian, knowing he is about to die, spilling his frustration and spite to his creator for maybe the first and last time and trying, desperately, to make dream understand that none of this is fair (it's never been, for either of them. It's been the function and nothing else for an eternity but they could be happy.)

This is Dream purposely misinterpreting the Corinthian in the way that is guaranteed to hurt the him the most. Dream, with a writer's indifference, reduces the Corinthian's complicated desperate desire for freedom, rebellion, and his creator's love to his typo. Like a character’s grievance towards their writer, like a man’s outrage towards their god, Dream decides not to deign the corinthian with even the right to call his treason his own. He will not even let him have that bit of agency. No, Dream made the Corinthian wrong.

And then Boyd Holbrook does a phenomenal piece of acting here—he knows how to play evil and charming so well but the Corinthian’s vulnerability is so starkly on display it feels like a knife.

And when you imagine he is about to burst into bloody tears and anguished final words, this is how it ends: they leave each other cruel and jagged, because the corinthian will not end pathetic and he will have the last word.

The Corinthian: I am only sorry I won’t be here to see Rose Walker do the same to you.

The first Corinthian never gets a happy ending.

I don’t think there’s any universe where he doesn’t bite more than he’s allowed to and there is no world where he can really be forgiven. As there is no universe where Morpheus Dream does not stubbornly tie himself to his function and hurt himself and those around him with his pride.

In objectification and the inability to change, they exist as wretched mirrors of each other: The first Corinthian, sick of his function and executed for abandoning it, and Dream, unendurably tired, taking his sister's hand in his when he can no longer bear to perform his duty.

[rayclubs]

Mahlzeit,

ok since I´m a firm believer that every merc is a perfect combination of smart and stupid, I feel comfortable saying that everyone is wrong about engineer.

like no he isn´t the only one who would be capacle of realising the benefits of a union. he´s very much unable to see it because he definetely gets too tunnelvisioned as soon as his work is involved and everything not directly linked to his tasks is unnecessary.

Malzheit!

Okay, real, but do you want a TF2 political affiliations post? Because that's how you get a TF2 political affiliations post.

Scout:

The most susceptible to propaganda after maybe Soldier.

Cares about celebrities way too much and therefore is unable to recognize the utmost necessity of taxing the rich.

Probably believes in the American Dream or something.

Would not start a labor union but would join one because while dumb as a baseball, he at least understands that his ma worked really hard to support him and his gajillion brothers growing up, and that's kinda unfair and all that. Or something.

Soldier:

Can be convinced to do anything. Seems to have political affiliations, what with his anti-communist shtick, but really it's just whatever. If you sit him down and explain the actual communist ideas and how what he's actually against is dictatorship, he'll listen to you. Might take some time, but he will.

Would not start a union but would assassinate the president.

Pyro:

Mmmph?

I don't even know. Anarcho-transhumanism.

*lights self on fire and fights the cops*

Engie:

Okay I have THOUGHTS

He is a bit of a utilitarian, I think. What with him solving practical problems and all.

Graduated into the upper middle class and can't see past that because his mind is 99% the digits of Pi and all that.

Hasn't voted once in his life.

Probably actually has some misguided beliefs about labor exploitation due to being American. Like Pauling, has one vacation a year and leaves his phone on in case someone needs to reach him in an urgent work matter.

People bring up his hand as if it were the result of an OSHA violation, but like. No. He did that. He did done cut it off himself. It doesn't count.

Everything he builds is an OSHA violation.

Heavy:

Was a pioneer. You know, that Soviet thing? Kinda like an American boy scout, but with more propaganda. He got better though.

He'd be a bit wary of unions but I think he's educated enough to recognize the difference. It's just a subconscious bias, is all.

He wouldn't start a union because, while educated, he's not diplomatic. Much like Engineer "I'll break you in half" TF2, he's more used to killing the authorities than to legally opposing them.

Also his father was a revolutionary. And died for it. So yeah. Maybe he wouldn't be quite so eager to follow in his footsteps.

Demo:

I actually don't know much about labor unions in Scotland but I think Demo would be a union man.

Like. His father killed the queen for a nickel. I think the man knows enough about oppression and workers' rights to be angry about that.

Explode the rich.

"But Demo, you are rich!" - "Aye..." *killbinds*

Medic:

Already in a union.

Not politically aligned but LOVES shoplifting.

Sniper:

Individualism on main.

Would not start a union because he hasn't talked to a human being in seventeen years.

You ask him if he wants to start a union and he stares into the void for five minutes before quietly asking "...like ants?"

Can't sign up because he can't write. Why do you think he calls his parents instead of writing letters?

Actually scratch that. Can only write upside down.

Spy:

Supports whatever suits his interests.

A corporate until the labor union is strong enough, then switches sides and becomes an avid proletarian.

Also individualism on main and that's why he and Sniper get along.

Nothing like avoiding your best friend.

I don't even know. None of them would start a union actually. Medic would do it for fun. Demo would do it as a dare. Soldier would do it by accident.

[strawberrys-starship]

Ok so, I'm gonna warn you straight out the gate that this whole post is about a/b/o and the omegaverse, so if you don't like that scroll on 👍🏻

But basically I got thinking about how the omegaverse might add a whole new layer to queer identities and then I wrote all this! If you have something you'd like to add or comment on then feel free

(This also mentions sex and sexuality so beware I suppose)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

So I'm reading an a/b/o fic, as one does, and it got me thinking about how the a/b/o dynamic would affect the real world

So in this fic, basically as soon as the main pairing realized that they were an alpha and an omega, they like immediately start fucking. Like I'm not even joking they barely get into a private room and everything

And I was reading it and asking myself how realistic this would be if the omegaverse actually existed

And like, I know, its absolutely pointless to question the realism of a/b/o, because realism is not why it exists in the slightest, but it got me thinking anyway

So I very quickly came to the conclusion that no, obviously if the omegaverse existed not every single compatible omega and alpha would just immediately fuck eachother, just like how not every single compatible man and woman immediately fuck eachother

And then that got me thinking about how omegaverse sexuality works, just like, in general

Because from what I've seen and personally choose to believe, the omegaverse is kinda just an extra gender binary, right? Like it has a biological component, but also there's a larger social one on top of it. So is the omegaverse basically a new layer in the whole gender/sexuality cake? Are there specific labels for which a/b/o gender you're attracted to or identify as? Or is your secondary gender strictly a biological thing that doesn't branch into gender and sexuality?

What about ace people? How are they affected by it? What happens when a sex repulsed ace omega goes into heat? Does it give them a sex drive, or just make them run a high fever and nothing else? And the same things with ace alphas, do they just get a lot of morning wood and nothing else?

How do aro people navigate all this? Personally I like to think that the mating bites aren't inherently romantic or even sexual (and also don't have to be given during heats or ruts) so I imagine there's quite a lot of platonic bonds between people, like how some real aro people get married without any romantic intentions behind it. I imagine it's hard to navigate the world as an allosexual aro person too, seeing as in most cases, mating bites are seen as like, the ultimate goal when spending your heat or rut with someone, so trying to find safe avenues to actually deal with heats and ruts must be extremely difficult.

Rounding back to the whole labels thing, I'm wondering how specific they'd be, y'know? Like say you're a cis man, and also an omega, and you're only attracted to other omega men, how limiting or feasible is that as a concept? How many other omega men are also attracted to omega men, is it looked down upon? Does it even matter in this specific omegaverse society?

What about gender? Are there people who are say, a cis woman but a trans alpha? What about betas, are they the a/b/o equivalent of a nonbinary person? Personally I like to think of betas as basically the a/b/o intersex label (not an idea originally created by me, I'll say here) where they can show traits from both alphas and omegas in varying levels of intensity (which means that they often falsely present as one or the other, and usually that person doesn't know they're a beta till they get a medical examination or something similar)

But if that is the case and betas are just omegaverse intersex, then can there be trans betas? Obviously in real life, intersex is a medical thing not a gender identity and therefore you can't transition to become intersex, but we're working in the lawless land of omegaverse so who knows what's going on.

I think for my personal omegaverse headcanon, betas are intersex people and you can't transition to be a beta

Circling back again, what about the a/b/o equivalent of non binary and gender queer identities? Are there people who just don't identify or fall into the boxes of 'alpha' and 'omega' as gender identities? What would this be like for them? What would transitioning look like?

And again, this is all said in the assumption that the real life gender binary still exists, so could you be a cis person but be basically omegaverse nonbinary too? What would social transition look like? Because all the social hierarchy I've ever seen for a/b/o is based off of being able to smell someone's scent, right? So would a a/b/o nonbinary persons (I'm gonna start calling them gammas so I don't have to type that all out) goal if they decide to medically transition to be to get their scent as neutral as possible?

Would there be any social transition for a gamma person at all? Beyond how someone might be treated for their secondary gender, there's not a whole lot of so called 'gendered' language when it comes to a/b/o. Someone might refer to you by your secondary gender, but there's no pronouns or gendered names and terms related to it. So would you just be occasionally correcting people when they refer to you as an alpha or omega?

Also, what would just a general transition between one secondary gender to another look like? Like say you're an alpha who experiences gender dysphoria related to your secondary gender strong enough that you decide you want to take medical steps to change it. What would change with just hormones, what would need surgery? I imagine that your scent as well as scent glands would all change with hormones, but what about an alphas knot? Would you stop being able to knot once you started hormones, or not?

This also has the problem of an alphas and omegas general anatomy changing based on their biological sex too. Like, would a cis woman who was born an alpha but then later realized she was actually an omega need surgery to remove any alpha parts? (I still haven't decided what exactly a female alpha would have tbh)

How does all of this change if your just a regular trans person too? What would being a trans man who's also a trans omega look like and be like?

So many questions, so little time...

Ok, I think that's enough of pondering the orb for me...

[dojae-huh]

Uncertainty

The brain (psyche) doesn't like to deal with uncertainty. Therefore, it has propensity to look for, invent, believe in all kinds of "answers" to make it "certain'', to mark the case as "everything is clear, I know the truth".

For the same reason, not liking the uncertainty, the brain labels topics as "understood" without actually understanding the subject. People tend to think they are smarter than they are, or that they can have a valid opinion on everything. "What is here to talk about?.."

You can see how many rumours are currently floating on X surrounding Taeil's crimes, how people are ready to think the worst about his personality, paint the blackest scenarios. It is this process of inventing answers or latching on explanations that look believable/attractive. Plus it helps to make everything black and white, to label Taeil as total scum and make the parting with him easier. Make the severence quickly, leave the turmoil of emotions behind, settle in a new world of ot8.

Right now we know only these facts: 1) Taeil is accused of a criminal act of sexual nature, 2) the victim is an adult woman, the details of the case are kept secret to protect her identity and to not affect the integrity of the investigation, 3) Taeil didn't run away, he is cooperating with the police, he wasn't arrested, 4) Taeil is no more a part of NCT, the group consists of 25 members now.

Everything else is speculation. What type of crimes he commited (assault, solicitation, harassment, blackmail), in what state (sober or drunk), for how long, was it the first victim or there were others, etc. - we don't know.

Some can say: "It doesn't matter! A scum is a scum!". It does matter. There is a difference between a crime commited in a drunken state for the first time and a long-lasting, well concealed double-life. The severity and exact kind of the crime matters, as well. As it reflects on Taeil's relationship with the members (were they lied to their whole life, or Taeil has changed for the worse only recently; was he genuine with his love for the members or pretended; what do they feel: betrayal and disgust or dissapointment) and his legacy (is it possible to watch the old content with him, is it possible to listen to the songs with him), as well as self-doubt (was he twofaced this whole time? Am I that bad at judging people, can I trust any idol? Can I trust my bias?).

To resume. Of course you want answers and you want closure. However, the case has just started. There is high chance we will never know the full truth. At least for some time, you will have to accept the uncertainty about Taeil. It's OK to just focus on other members and continue with NCT for now and leave the case on the shelf for another time. Distance oneself. To unpack and process later, when there is more information, or when you yourself will be in a calm state, not being bombarded by the rumours, speculations and hurt from the fandom.

The police is investigating. The victim's claim wasn't dismissed and ignored. Taeil wasn't arrested after a two-month gathering of evidence, so we, at least, can know it wasn't rape and the woman's life wasn't in a direct danger. Taeil is not considered as someone dangerous or who can run away. The police also isn't trying to earn brownie points with this case with the public (make a show out of it). Which also hints at the case not being fit to make an example out of it (I mean the new n-room).

Granted, new evidence may emerge, new victims appear. However, this possibility is a part of "uncertainty". Any scenarios, bad or good, won't help to change that, won't make one version of Taeil or another more real.

Lastly. My brain is also producing ideas, of course, heh. So if you are curious at my take, it's under the cut. Just remember, it is an educated guess, nothing more. Another assumption in the sea of uncertainty.

You know I protected Lucas. And I still believe he didn't deserve what happened to him, and that he has the right for an attempt at his solo career. Yes, many of you vehemently disagree with me. I was never a Lucas' fan, however, the character profile I formed of him and what he was accused of didn't match for me. And we all form opinions based on our own judgement.

In the same way, based on Taeil's relationship with other members I've observed, his reactions, I don't think he led a double life (an idol and a criminal) and outright lied to the members, that he is capable of intentional prolonged deceiving.

And yet, yes, I can imagine him to be a mysoginist (the way Korean men usually are), having a weak moral compass, commiting sexual crimes (the kind I listed earlier: assault, solicitation, harassment, blackmail) and acting like nothing has happened (dissociating or not perceiving what he had done as something serious).

I'm not a psychiatrist, I can't make a diagnosis, don't blindly believe me, however, I do suspect Taeil is neurodivergent. And that his reactions in certain situations can be abnormal or fall under "criminal".

From what I've seen, Taeil often doesn't understand what is really being said to him or ignores it. Nuanced meaning flies over his head (hints, sarcasm). He tends to hyperfixate on things (playing pool the whole night in a foreign city instead of sightseeing, investigating all ways of cooking meat). He feels more comfortable in the company of younger members than being a hyung, making decisions, taking responsibility, acting as an adult. He tends to get lightly agitated quickly. He always insists he is right or something wasn't his fault (I'm not the weakest drinker!).

As I don't know the particulars of the crime, I won't speculate further. And I'm not making excuses for Taeil, just believe his case maybe a bit more nuanced than usual. The police is investigating, and the court will determine the punishment. Part of it Taeil has received already in losing his place in NCT, and his soloist career.

[relaxxattack]

meta about Rose’s relationships with her mom and Kanaya…..

WAAUGH ok so like…

roses relationship with her mom the most nebulous thing of all time because they really give it basically ZERO screentime like we’re never fully able to understand how much of mom was actually cold or enjoying of mind games and how much of it was sincere

it can be assumed that a portion of it was definitely sincere just based on like.. wizards, or lack thereof, and roses conversation with roxy about her love of wizards and what that means about her views on mom

and at that point you have to assume that mom was mostly well meaning but perhaps not all there in the head at ALL, enough for rose to make up this cold calculating woman who bizarrely coordinated everything about her life including the decor just to make rose as miserable as possible

and therefore rose lives her entire life thinking her mother hates her and likely lashing out in weird ways and trying to do all kinds of shit for attention (the no tears coconut shampoo tumblr post comes to mind) and it’s basically just so desperately sad. she is so fucking lonely and tries so hard to come off as “above all that”, she thinks shes soooo self aware just because she knows her mother has issues and knows her situation is bad. she goes off about all this and how terribly unwanted it makes her feel and the other adults around her are like “wow you’re so self aware!” and she gets so satisfied about that, like, yes she’s so self aware, she’s so smart and understands her problems and mental health so well, she must be entirely above it actually. nothing else to dissect there.

and then kanaya comes in and kanaya is so very painfully similar but also not above it all. kanaya has about as much trouble saying things as rose does but unlike rose she’s not afraid to admit when she’s scared or wrong

kanaya is so bad at social cues but rose has made cues her whole life and so they are CONSTANTLY misunderstanding each other, circling around and around the point but kanaya keeps taking jabs at the issues and rose just tries to flirt the problems away.

this is literally just an incoherent fucking ramble because tbfh i need to reread acts 2-5 and write a fucking dissertation on rose and kanaya so i can say a thing that actually makes sense but the TLDR of the matter is. i am foaming at the mouth over them

also i know canon sort of implies towards act 6 that mom was well meaning but mostly off her rocker but personally i MUCH prefer the hc dynamic that rose and her mom have where mom is just as fucking dramatic, just bad at expressing emotion and shit (the rose lalonde vampire slayer fic has such a GOD TIER example of this, please read that fic everyone) and basically yeah that version of mom is actually the canon one To Me

[a-disaster-of-literature]

The autism spectrum

Many people have the wrong idea about the autism spectrum. They think it's a separate group of autistic people with no overlap with "normal" people. That if you have autism you just end up somewhere on the spectrum. And that it doesn't matter where. As if the spectrum was separate from all the others without autism. As if it were like this:

wears always wears never socks dosen`t care socks

|------------------------------------|-------------------------------|

Don't get me wrong. Everyone experiences and behaves differently, but the autism spectrum does not cover everything. It is not a seperate place. You can see it more like this:

|----------------------------the spectrum-------------------------....

_______ "normal" people____________ ______autism_______ .... | | |

|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----.... 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

The spectrum looks more like this. Every person is included in the spectrum. You can be at a 0 and therefore show or have nothing autistic at all. You can be at an 8 and have the symptoms and mannerisms of autism and still not have it. So you can have it and not have it at the same time.

Because (I use the German diagnostic system and only tell from personal experience) there is a point from which the signs are considered a disability. It is the so-called cut off point which is ten. So if you want to stretch the theory very far, you already have autism at 1.

no- thing ______________________ autism____________________.... | | |----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|--.... 0 1 2 3 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

But a 1 can also have other indicators that can be traced back to the ways you`re raised, culture, origin or perhaps other clinical pictures. In addition, a 1 is so mild that it has no influence on daily life. Even if you are higher up and show signs of autism and people around you notice a behavioral problem, up to a certain point it is said that it doesn't affect you enough to be a disability. Accordingly, 10 is the cut off point where it is said ok, that is now a disability. Therefore, it looks like this:

|----------------------------the spectrum-------------------------....

_______ "normal" people____________ ______autism_______ .... | | |

|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----|----.... 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Where you are on the spectrum depends on how pronounced it is for you. And it also shows at what point therapy makes sense.

That's why I'm very against self-diagnoses, because of course, you can be right about everything and recognize signs of autism, but only be a 7 or 9. A point where it doesn't affect you as much to be a disability. Or you can actually be above the cut off point, but even then it would be helpful to have a therapist at your side who can show you a few tips and tricks.

And to report on my own experience; I'm at 11 myself and for me, of course you notice something, but it's pretty mild autism. So you have some kind of measurement for the spectrum.

If you want too, you can see autism like a scratch on the wrist. Most people do not have that scratch. Some have a light scratch but dont notice it because it dosen`t hurt and does not affect them. Maybe someone will see it from time to time, but it has no affect to anyone whatsoever.

But if one is up to a 7 or 9 it can happen that the scratch hurts every now and then and maybe more people notice it, but it does not hinder to do anything and does`nt hold one back at given times. The hand can fully function.

A 10 or 11 (like me) can live pretty good with it, but the scratch is so deep that a medical schould look at it. That it can`t be simply plastert up like the lower numbers. And the medical can help one avoid or handle situations, so it does not hurt as much. It will still hurt a bit and will be always there, but with the right help you can learn to live with it.

If one is higher up, the srach might need stitches and will always hurt. The stitches can only be made by a proffesional, who will help you and those around you on how to live with it. And maybe the sratch is so deep that the actions of the hand are restricted.

That growing up, one was never able to move a Finger `cause of that scratch or even the hole Hand if its deep enough.

I hope this made sense :)

[samyy009922]

Im bored, so theres probably no plot to this :)

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HERE WE GO AGAIN

Mafia bad sans's with the inclusion of good ol' Red

You and Red lay on the floor, both far too tired to do anything despite the massive amount of paperwork laying on your desk.

"so uh, you got anything ya gotta do today?" Red asked, still laying on the floor. You knew what he was gonna ask, he asked every day.

"Red, I don't know why you bother asking me, yeah I'll come with." Every day, you both went to the bar in the hideout you both worked at.

He let out a shallow laugh, a chuckle if you will. Good friends y'all were, knew each other since you stated working for the Mafia you found yourself in.

Absentmindedly, you both chatted and allowed anything you both thought to be a topic of choice. You both even talked about deviled eggs for some reason?

After a good hour of nothing, it was decided to go ahead and get going. However, as you pulled you boots back onto you one of the assistances barged in... rather rudely.

"30 minutes, the bosses want to see you." she looked at you, not red, who actually worked alongside the bosses, but you and only you.

You'd had interactions with the higherups before but very briefly and if give you anxiety just thinking back on those situations. You sat next to a computer all day, never on the field- so your social skills weren't exactly in tip top shape.

You were always told the Bosses were very odd characters, with their leader of leaders being the strangest; none of them were stable though, you knew that for a fact. However, with that being said, all you interactions with there were... different.

Horror: never talked, and if he did you knew you were in some deep shit. He was the tank of the team, most of the time keeping his singular eye on the front fields.

Killer: just a straight up psychopath. Anyone who had a proper conversation with him all said the same thing: he was insane. He could snap in a matter of seconds, so he wasnt the type you wanted to be around for long. He didn't oversee any particular branch, but rather just stuck his fingeys in everything.

Dust: another silent one, and you also never wanted to hear him... ever. With that being said, he was also a super heavy hitter and kept an eye on all trades and correspondences, ready to jump in a matter of seconds.

Error: a strange one, as he seemed to break the laws of... everything you thought you ever knew. But he was the one who controlled the digital side of things. therefor you saw him the most. He has a temper to him and is a massive control freak based off what you've seen of him.

Nightmare: the big guy, the one behind everything... and the one you were most scared of. He was the dude who oversaw everything that ever happened to anyone, If you pissed him off? Well life wont be a work in your vocabulary for much longer.

But, even so... they always seemed different with you in some fashion. Like for example, Error called you up to their office because he forgot a major component in a software the team was developing, but when you arrived he wasnt cold at all? He even seemed welcoming to you in some way...

and Horror made you eat

which you found very odd

Anyway, as you were fed this information, you looked at Red because you assumed he knew something, ANYTHING. He, being him, knew absolutely nothing and seemed just as confused at you were.

"Uh... Ok? I assume were meeting in their office? Cause like, its still office hours?" You felt out the attitude of the woman, mainly because you want to know if they're wanting to see you because you did something wrong.

"Yes." Was all she said, then left. This leaves you with a grand total of 29 minutes before your potential death.

"wha tha-." Red, who was now standing, spoke out loud.

"I don't know man." Was your only responce.

...

Time went by as you paced around waiting for the clock to tic down, PRAYING you didn't massively mess something, and they WEREN'T about to unceremoniously kill you.

"alright sweetheart, good luck in there." His voice semi-calmed you, albeit barely. He seemed very clam during this, but to be fair it wasnt like he was in your situation... but he did work closely with the bosses so maybe he did know something? Maybe?

You stood at the door leading to the desks where the big men would be sitting.

Finally you knocked

...

You heard nothing.

...

You turned to walk away, hoping this was all some stupid misunderstanding

...

The door slammed open

"HEY! Its them!" Killers unmistakable voice cut through the air like the knives he wielded.

"allow them in killer." A deep voice followed that ear-splitting yell, soothing you, but not for long because as you turned around you were met face to skull with Nightmare.

Well that's slightly terrifying.

Nightmare gives you a gesture to follow him, and so you do, although there is a lot of apprehension.

He leaves you in the middle of the room as he moves swiftly to his resident desk, one that's slightly lifted off the ground. The whole room looks like one out of a fantasy movie: Gold, mahogany wood, beautiful pilers, you name it.

The more you looked around, the more little details seemed to make themself clear to you: slits in random places that likely came from knives or other weapons, gun racks that hold very expensive looking guns, and pieces of paper that scatters some of the members desks. Makes you wonder even more why your here.

Off to the side you recognize a large red eye light that's staring directly at you. Horror's smiling very wide; that sort of thing is something that strongly worries you.

Errors in a hammock that's stationed off the left farthest corner of the room, once you catch his gaze he snarls and looks away.

"so i bet your wondering why your here..." Once again, that silky voice catches your attention. Nightmares smiling, rather widely might you add.

"Y-yeah? I cant say I'm not confused." You stammered a little. As mush as you were confused and mildly scared right now, you do have to say... the group was a litttttttle attractive. You'd never admit that out loud though.

"well..." A new voice nudged its way into the conversation "we have a question regarding your plans..." Dust's voice was quiet, but also smooth? Not something many people were privy to. Wait, yeah most people didn't hear that voice unless they were gonna die, what the hell was happening??

"you could say were asking about your plans for todate." Killer smiled widely, which wasn't out of the ordinary but something about this instance seemed very different.

They all gave you a few seconds before pushing the question again, you finally answered.

"Oh- Uh, I don't having anything i'm planning to do today?" You desperately wanted to ask why, where was this going but you chose to leave that little bit out.

"heh... good." Horror commented, scary.

"hmm, i agree, good." Nightmares addition made it even more menacing, then he continued: "you will be accompanying us tonight for a smaller... mission." You could HEAR the smile and menace radiating off that skeleton.. he also didn't give you much of a choice.

"D-don't-t get you-r hopes up-up" Error so kindly added "This-is is nothing but work-k." You nodded, not wanting to question why they chose you over literally anyone else.

"you will be picked up from your house at 7pm sharp. look good." You once again nodded then Nightmare give graciously give you permission to leave.

As you walked out the room, you pondered the inclination of going out on a date with mafia bosses, was it even a date? Was it seriously just work? If so, why someone so low on the ranks?

You met back up with Red, he gave you a concerned look and added you looked pale as fuck. You briefed him on the situation: "They more or less asked me out for some work event??" He seemd just as confused as you were.

"interestin' group they are." Was all Red added

...

Wait

How do they know where you live??

[precious-little-scoundrel]

Hello, lovely sweetheart!

I am the anon who sent the message about Ida and Rosie’s relationship, that they are very fluid in their roles and are equals, they buy each other flowers, take turns paying the bill when they go out, and there is no authoritative figure in the house. Regarding Rosie’s experience before Ida, I think he had enough to know what he was doing and had a few serious girlfriends. However, even though he was experienced and quite good at relationships, nothing prepared him for the whirlwind that is Ida.

Ida, though not as experienced as Rosie, is a woman who absolutely knows what she wants, how she wants it, and when she wants it. She is determined, hardworking, and stubborn. With her, Rosie experienced emotions that were foreign to him. He realized that in a relationship where two people love each other unconditionally, gender roles don’t matter. You can kiss and be kissed as much as you want, cuddle all the time if you like, and not care about how masculine you look.

Therefore, he experienced many ‘firsts’ with Ida. When they finally have sex, he is probably the most nervous but also very excited. He is literally sweating and doesn’t know what to do. Ida needs to guide him because he looks a bit lost.

To summarise, anything and everything he had learned did not really matter anymore because with Ida, everything is brand new, more colourful , interesting, intriguing and exciting than anything he had ever experienced.

Does anything I have written make sense? I am so in love with Rosie and Ida that I tend to write whatever is in my head at the moment, so half the time I never know if what I write makes sense to others. 😂

Ok first off just because this may become a babble: when I get asks like this? It’s like you gifting me fanfic on my favorite people ever. Do you know how lovely that is? How many times i reread certain portions? I treasure them. Thank you.

Sense was made and more than that, it sent me nuts in enjoyment of it and whole hearted agreement. You’ve literally articulated what I’ve been trying to write out for myself as a vibe guideline for their dynamic, as it were.

No she’s not his first but she’s a first in every way, nonetheless. He knew it from the minute he met her, and one thing I love about them is that he is genuinely rabid for her but will keep that in check for half a lifetime if that’s what makes her comfortable.

Turns it’s a bit of both: his discipline and respect makes her feel comfortable enough to heal while his untempered desire for her despite how informed he is of where she’s been is, beyond empowering. Especially coming from a man who could have anyone and gave it all up just to have coffee with her every morning. And I think that’s the deal, he simply isn’t one for naïveté. And that’s very attractive to her and essential for her actually accepting him wanting to be with her.

The way your whole ask reminded me of this Nancy Mitford quote about finding true love:

She was filled with a strange, wild, unfamiliar happiness, and knew that this was love. Twice in her life she had mistaken something else for it; it was like seeing somebody in the street who you think is a friend, you whistle and wave and run after him, but it is not only not the friend, but not even very like him. A few minutes later the real friend appears in view, and then you can’t imagine how you ever mistook that other person for him

[haleigh-sloth]

I usually don’t share my specific thoughts about bnha but I need to get this thought out there so sorry if this is weird but….

Personally I think the thing most people forget about Shigaraki is that before anything, before afo before killing people Shigaraki was “taught” (abused into thinking) that every time he did something his father viewed as ‘heroic’ he was/would be punished for it cause it would be hurting the ones around him (it would affect his family). Of course this is the worst thing to be taught when you are 5 years old .

But this continued until his family was dead and then he met afo. Afo basically convinced this 5 year old child who was not in a position to tell him (afo) he was wrong and still had the idea of good thing = bad things going to happen, that heroism is bad and that as long as you are mad at the person you’re killing it’s fine (obviously not true but when you are 5 I don’t really think you would actually understand that it was wrong)

And then this way of thinking continued basically for like 15 years..

In simpler terms, afo seemed to convince him that, good thing/good deed = bad things going to happen/ no real benefit and, bad thing/bad deed = bad thing going to happen however you got treated badly therefore it’s ok if you do bad things too

the thing everyone’s needs to understand in my opinion is that people who talk about why villains think this/ that or people who just like the villains of the show, are not justifying that fact that they killed people but merely just explaining their thoughts/opinion of the matter and trying to get you to understand that when you are abused or/and manipulated it changes the way you think (not everyone can dramatically change their life the second they are not next to their abuser anymore)

((And in the end this show is. not. real! The villains did not kill a bunch of real innocent people, some people don’t seem to get that anymore and act as if that’s what happens…))

Sorry if there’s any mistakes in this, I kinda have trouble putting my thoughts into words that others understand heh. . . .

In response to this...

I mean, yes, I agree with everything here.

The reason I didn't dive into all of this is because, and I mean this in....some type of way...actually idk. There's no nice way to say this really.

Anybody who is just stuck on "They did bad things, they're evil because of this and they should die" is not worth arguing/debating/discussing things with for me personally.

I'm serious--I do not have the patience to explain the obvious to people who just don't care about these aspects of the villains. It's too tiring, and ultimately pointless because--they don't care.

If the conclusion someone has come to is "They killed people and they're bad and a sad backstory isn't an excuse and that's that", then I mean, I have nothing to say to counter.

Imo, everything you pointed out is very obvious, so anybody ignoring its importance is doing it intentionally and probably has no intention of changing their minds.

People write essays on tumblr about redeeming characters who do horrible things, why it's done in fiction, how it's done, how to tell when a character is set up for a redemption arc early on, but it doesn't matter. If someone doesn't want to accept a redemption arc in a character, there is nothing to be done.

I really do not mean to sound pretentious or anything....but honestly I don't have the energy or patience to explain old arguments that have been beaten into the ground and things that are just painfully obvious and shouldn't even have to be said (namely that none of these people are real and nobody has killed anybody--like I'm not gonna write an argumentative meta on that).

So yes I agree with everything you've said here, but I tend to intentionally leave these points out because if someone is still held up on the points you've made, I really don't have the patience to discuss with them.

[furys-mercy]

For you: A) Why are you excited about this character? B) What inspired you to create them? || For all your charas: 30) Who do they most regret meeting? 12) How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach? [Tumblr please let us do paragraphs]

Answering the first two about Mercer since this is his blog. :D

Why are you excited about this character?

I think I'm excited about Mercer because of the amount of time I have spent playing him. He's five years old at this point and has been through a ton and grown so much. I adore where he has been and I am so excited to see where he ends up!

What inspired you to create them?

I'm not sure where the inspiration for Merc really came from. I have always enjoyed playing tek leaning characters. From my Technomancer Tremere in Vampire: The Masquerade, to my Matter Mage in Mage: The Awakening, and then to my Izzet Goblin in a Ravnika game. It's something that really appeals to me and something I like to iterate on from different angles and settings and see what I can do within the new set of rules. I'd wager that's where he really started. I wanted to play with technology as it's seen in XIV. And I've really had a blast with it. Who do they most regret meeting?

Mercer - One past partner that he's loathe to talk about in any capacity. This probably isn't entirely rational, but he's clinging to the anger he felt in that moment and isn't inclined to let it go.

Sebastian - Does his elder brother Dacien count? I'm not sure he wishes they had never met so much as he wishes Dacien had never been born, but... similar concept.

Marcette - Sebastian. Or, at least, that is what she thinks she feels about him. In all honesty, Sebastian has been her only real companion for so long that were she to lose him she'd be entirely alone. Their relationship isn't exactly healthy, but neither one of them would have fared as well as they have without the other. It's going to have to be a work in progress. But currently she tells herself she hates him and regrets acknowledging his existence.

Teo - His philosophy on life makes it difficult for him to actually regret any action he's ever taken, including meeting people that he has since decided he is not a fan of. Because he sees his life as his story and he views every single little moment as important to his story and its eventual conclusion, he just sees everything and everyone as important. It was supposed to happen to get him to the ending fate has decreed. And therefore he cannot regret it.

Kishar - Everyone. Ok, that is not entirely true. She doesn't regret meeting the other shards of Icarus. Even if both Teo and Khala make her wonder how they could possibly be shards of the same soul, the fact remains that they are. And therefore they are a part of her. And she couldn't possibly regret meeting parts of herself. But, outside of that, she's distant. She doesn't want connections and will go out of her way not to make them. Accidental connections make her grumpy and she tends to regret them.

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

Mercer - "Ask one'a m'partners ta get in? An' if they can't, well... there's walls 'round. Or Gadget. Though, he don't like touchin' me. Which... tha's fair. I try not ta ask 'im ta."

Sebastian - "My valet would, undoubtedly, be more than happy to assist me should such a situation arise."

Marcette - The lady turns her nose up at the question, completely ignoring it. "It seems my tea has gone cold. Do be a dear and refrehs it for me."

Teo - The Viis tilts his head to the side as he thinks, one long white ear flopping over the other. "If Ivan was not there to assist, a tree branch would do. Though, I would prefer Ivan."

Kishar - The voidsent bares her teeth. "You will find there is nothing truly out of my reach."

Thanks for the asks, @set2zero!! I appreciate it!

[mister13eyond]

i want to infodump hcs about vin, asphodel & their world so i AM below the cut!

so asphodel is very capable and informed on a lot of skills that have since become obsolete- they're an experienced garment maker, tailor, cook, and know a lot of very traditional handwork skills, but they can't use a smart phone to save their life. meanwhile vin is a twitch streamer and uses the internet for everything, but has absolutely no idea about the offline world (especially since he stays inside as often as he does) and is easily baffled by, like. driving. or cooking. or navigating w/o google maps. (also his sense of direction is Awful)

i think vin has only RECENTLY come to the human world; he remained in Hell for the majority of time and worked there and scarcely interacted with humans & wound up summoned by accident & bound to the human world like... within the last couple years. meanwhile i think asphodel is like, way more knowledgeable but also Not; they're kind of stuck in an archaic mindset and have not kept up well with the progress of technology, but Vin knows like, NOTHING about human history or worldly happenings yet adapted to technology VERY fast.

they both have extremely large blind spots in their human knowledge that make them very fun, especially since they're both kind of contrary to the perspective you'd expect them to have as a demon and an angel. like, vin generally thinks people are neat, and fun, and enjoys them even if it's in kind of a theoretical way. while asphodel is generally disillusioned with people and finds them simultaneously worth learning from but also generally lacking and not worth personal interactions with.

also tbh my views of this universe's "heaven" and "hell" are largely inspired by things like kuroshitsuji and hades, because i LOVE the afterlife being a big bureaucracy

IMO they're like... ok so my idea for the afterlife in this universe is 90% "every religion and lack thereof is simultaneously right, and what happens to you after death is a matter of belief and personal conviction, so careful record-keeping is the main duty of all celestial beings". so like, christian heaven & hell are just one of several Large Bureaucracies and their jobs are to keep track of believers, record their lives & then moderate where they should go once that life ends. Everyone gets a Trial at the end of their life where they have a defense lawyer (angel) and prosecutor (demon) who argue which outcome they should get. permanent sentences in hell are actually pretty rare and hell has adopted more of a greco-roman "serve time for your crimes & then get to go to heaven when your sentence ends" system (with the permanent sentences being Notable Punishments a'la sisyphus, tantalus etc who break Big Fundamental Rules in the Most Egregious Ways). and those who go to hell are essentially doing community service to help the company and/or act as Human Batteries (demons feed on human energy monsters inc style, and collect said energy from sinners) until they've served their sentence and are allowed to go to heaven, which is pretty much, like, just an endless existence where all needs and struggles are no more & people can just Vibe Forever)

mostly because the idea of hell just being dry capitalism & the prison-industrial complex is very funny to me & also i can't think of anything Worse than being forced to endure Capitalism for a little longer

anyways it means that asphodel's outlook is kind of moralistic & judgemental- they were a celestial defense lawyer & therefore are predisposed to judging people based on their actions & hypocracies- while vin's is very neutral, like. well bad people are just more people who need to get their shit together & serve their sentence & then they'll be fine. (and/or they're just Food Sources so no hard feelings.) so he's generally pretty friendly & amenable while asphodel has a very moral judgement model of thinking & cares deeply about Humanity Overall & heavily judges those who act against the good of Humanity, Collectively.

It's part of why they're so anti-technology & why Vin is so chill w/it- they believe much of the progress made in the 21st century is against the Good of Humanity, while Vin generally views it as "some people are cool some people suck but mostly it's just what it is". also ALSO! demons and angels are both beings made of just, like, pure energy. the main difference between them is essentially whether they have a positive or negative charge, basically. angels are tapped into the Universal Source Of All Energy (think lifestream a la final fantasy; this is also the outcome for those who don't believe in an afterlife- their life force becomes one with the universal energy source & melds with all other energy) & can endlessly Produce it, needing no source of energy to maintain life; "tiers" of angels are basically determined by the strength of that connection & how easily they can draw from it; archangels can draw more than angels, etc. while demons are NOT connected to that source and must draw from alternate sources such as humans.

this is why they use sinners as batteries in hell, & also why concepts like incubus/succubus exist- demons who go draw life directly from the living. that 'life' can be collected via strong emotions & strong feelings- they don't have to be negative a la torture BUT that is a very quick & easy way to collect; incubi/succubi generally use seduction to evoke strong emotions; some demons do even use things like comedy to collect. vin has an interest in horror media & horror games BECAUSE he can harvest fear from an audience that way; it's a safe haunted house way of collecting a lot of small snacks instead of one big meal. and the strength of demons is largely determined by how big their stockpile of energy is; higher tier demons have larger stockpiles, while lower tiers like vin usually just collect enough to sustain themselves & don't have much Extra. ANYWAYS I HAVE TO WORK BUT THANK U FOR COMING TO MY OC TED TALK, I THINK THEY'RE FUN

[marcuspierce]

okay, so while i was working on the formatting of my really really long answer, i tried to save it as a draft but the ask just... disappeared??? it's not in my inbox, not in drafts, not even in my queue! it's just gone???? so i am very sorry for not answering your ask directly, anon, but i did take a screenshot before that for ease of referencing + saved my answer in a word document so at least i can still answer your question, even if it's in a roundabout way!

here's the answer, exactly as i had intended to answer it before tumblr decided to be a bitch:

oh this is such a lovely question so thank you, thank you, thank you for asking!!! i just love anything that involves intimancy/vulnerability and commitment when it comes to these two and this combines those concepts so well!

before i put a read more (both for length and to hide some bitterness that slipped through), i will give a tl;dr and say that i have thought about it and my answer is yes! they would/could definitely end up considering having children, and they would/could even have some!

this is actually a concept i have previously explored some years ago in two fics and a post about adorable onesies, and, more recently, in two parts of my series of social media edits! at first i only wrote them with one child, but in my posts from this year they have two!

read more time now!

now, before i begin actually talking about the specific matter at hand i just wanna say... when you say that you wish rory's inclusion had been better executed do you mean that there should've been (more of) a built up around lucifer, who, even as far as season 4, said that he detests children and wants nothing to do with them, actually being downright enthusiastic about being a father? or at least that there would be some sort of a more specific exploration wrt his feelings about random children vs a child he has contact with (such as trixie or charlie, who are clearly dearly liked by lucifer) and how that would relate to a child of his own and how his life circumstances (being in hell - perhaps/hopefully there aren't many children down there => discomfort due to lack of contact, but as he lives longer on earth that diminishes, OR just in general his insane self-esteem issues/self-hatred that are deeply tied to his time in hell and the things he had to do there, which would push him away from fatherhood simply out of kindness towards his imaginary future child - or his own childhood - it is so so clear that at least on a subconscious level he is aware of cycles of abuse, due to his deep hurt and displeasure when he heard from adult!rory that he sucked as a dad, plus he sees a great deal of himself in his father, which would just contribute to his self-hatred and would result in a refusal of fatherhood in order to not "inevitably" repeat the abuse he endured at the hands of his father... or, if actually faced with the done deal, it would result in... well, whatever breakdown amenadiel had about charlie, but probably more extreme)? or perhaps it is about him being forced to be an absent father and therefore not break the cycle of harming your child that his own father started and that lucifer was shown to desperately want to break? or just a combination of all of these things?

ok, phewwwwww, i am done with the rant, but thank you for giving me the opportunity to rant about one of the two only negative hills about this show that i am willing to die on! cause well, i actually stopped watching the show some good seasons back because i realized that the writers and i had completely different ideas about how to approach things. and while most things i can just chalk up to that, well, everything i heard about rory and lucifer has left such a horrible taste in my mouth and nothing has been able to make me less pissed off about it!

on this note, my knowledge about seasons 4-6 is pretty spotty and therefore i generally only make use of concepts/plot ideas in my analysis wrt long term piercifer. so yknow, some characters, mainly marcus' parents, are most likely nothing like their canon counterparts!

ok, so now to get to the actual topic at hand, i think that the subject would definitely come up and it would be a huge issue, i think even on par with them needing to figure out how they work together and how to make their relationship fulfilling for both of them. which makes perfect sense, because this is a life altering decision, that affects both the individuals, but also the couple, AND, most importantly, the child. and the child truly is a faultless party in this whole thing, but also the party that would be hurt the most. it is not an easy situation and it requires a lot out of them. so both of them acknowledging and treating it like a big deal already is a step in the right direction.

for lucifer, i already outlined some ideas in the rant above:

firstly we have him just not being used to interact with children so he associates that uncomfortable feeling of inadequacy with a displeasure for children (tbh i feel like he is not used to interact with people, in general, outside of very specific contexts but that's a bit less related to my point) so point against fatherhood no1!

but, this is the easiest to solve, as it just takes time. after all, the more you do something, the better at it you become! but, because it is something that changes slowly over the course of years, that means that lucifer would be quite oblivious to it. everyone around him would notice, it would be hard not to. he stops being bothered by children just... existing where he also happens to exist. he starts getting along quite well with trixie and even starts asking her parents about her and buying her presents for her bday. when it comes to charlie, lucifer's thrilled to find out that he's going to be an uncle and he's quite emotional when amenadiel offers him to hold charlie, and he obliges very happily and afterwards he talks marcus' ear off about the moment. he is also very happy when it becomes clear that charlie likes him.

and everyone notices these things, except for lucifer. so when asked he still insists that he hates children and that he just cannot stand the little "parasites", but after a while people stop taking him seriously when he says things like that.

but not hating kids does not a father make, and lucifer's other hangups are far more complicated and deep-rooted, namely his own chilhood and the resulting trauma/issues. but for these things it is mostly a matter of realizing that you need help and then asking for it, which lucifer is trying to do. and i definitely think that finding the kind of therapy that is most useful to him would help him tremendously and that + a support system (which he has in his friends and marcus) would help him get to a point where most of the day to day stuff becomes manageable and then he can focus on more deep-rooted things, things that he may not even realize are influenced by his trauma or that he doesn't think affect him, such as how his trauma influences his views on certain issues and one of those issues would definitely be parenthood. and the conclusion would be that his self-hatred, both from him having to go against his morals and do horrible things to survive in hell, but also from seeing himself in his own (shitty) father and therefore expecting to turn out the same, has absolutely influenced how he feels about the topic.

for marcus, on the other hand, i feel like there would be a journey. like, i always saw his parents being young and inexperienced at just... life, in general, when they have him and they don't really have who to go to for help (well... i suppose grovelling for g*d's forgiveness - just so they could ask the guy some questions - was an option, but not doing that was the better option ny far), so they don't really know what raising a child means and because of that they end up being quite neglectful. as such, marcus had to learn how to fend for himself and attempt to fulfill on his own as many of his needs as possible really fast, especially once there was someone smaller and needier than him around, so he became very capable, responsible organized, as Knowledgeable as one could be in that situation, but also both cautious and quite curious and willing to try stuff out at the same time, and also someone who could fake maturity really well and who was really good at taking care of others, which extended into being good at reading and interacting with people. all of these things come from him, at least subconsciously, realizing that, despite being a toddler who's faking it, he's the one person in that house who has any idea what they're doing and that that position is one that desperately needs to be filled.

all of this results in him emotionally distancing himself from others and retreating into himself, starting to built the wall/armour that he would later on use as a jaded, heartbroken adult. and a consequence of that retreating into himself and of prioritising this role he has bestowed upon himself is that he doesn't really explore who he is and what he likes and wants until adulthood. as such, parenthood is, at first, something that he does to be fulfill a role that was assigned by society and by fulfilling that role he blends in with everyone else and the ways he is not like everyone else stay a secret, but also it's about doing something familiar, something that he knows how to do. but he likes. loves it, in fact. he adores that child, and is, therefore, a complete wreck when that child dies after having a life, growing and changing and getting older while he just stays frozen in time, looking the exact same way as he did when said child was born decades earlier.

but, the first tragedy would come before that, when he would realise that everyone around him is visibly growing older while he stays suspiciously young, and people will notice soon and no one can notice. and as he packs up he is forced to endure abandoning the child he loves so so much and miss out on the little time (by his standards) that he had left with them. and he couldn't even tell them. doing so would defeat the purpose of leaving.

still, he tried again and again and again, just like he had with friends, lovers and just about any connection one could make. and no matter how much he tried, it always ended the same way, until he decided to stop trying and he allowed his armour of apathy and his wall of isolation to fully encircle him and solidify cause then he wouldn't get hurt. we know how well that worked out and what it did to him... until he met lucifer, that is!

finally someone he can be fully honest with, someone who can see him exactly as he is and oh, he won't leave him either!

so really his issue, as with all things relationships and connection, is mortality, as it is a luxury he doesn't have, but one that any children he has will have. so it ended up being something that he considered to be off the table for him, and he didn't think to revisit those wounds and that issue in therapy even after lucifer came into his life and nestled himself a place in it because, well, for decades on end lucifer's stance on it was clear. and marcus was fine with it as that wasn't a wound he was keen on reopening and picking at.

but then those decades passed and lucifer reached a point where he had worked out through enough of his issues that parenthood did feel on the table for him. and trying to bring it up did not go very well, at first, because they just weren't quite in the same place... yet! but that alright, cause they had all the time in the world, and when they did end up in the same place all was well and all was easy cause they were, in fact, on the same page.

with one small potential caveat: marcus was all for it, he had loved being a father and he had always wished he could do it right, but he couldn't bear that pain, the pain of watching his child grow old and die while he stayed the same, ever again, nor could he bear the thought of lucifer ever feeling that pain either. that could be an issue... or not. i don't see how any child that is not completely human wouldn't be immortal lmao

and if that really is the narrative the show decided to go with well... loser behaviour! boo tomato tomato! good thing i don't care and, even if i did, there sure are ways around it!

but yeah, the child being related to lucifer and therefore immortal is exactly lucifer's argument and that realisation sways marcus pretty quick!

and i think in a scenario like this, where they both give themselves and the other the time to heal and to figure out how they work as a couple before bringing another family member into the mix, they would be wonderful parents! sweet, caring, attentive, affectionate, intentional, just all the good things. and it would be easy... because they have learned what not to do (well, that's not a guarantee, but all of that work towards healing sure brings it close to a guarantee).

i think that's it! going further than that would be off topic... and just excessive given the insane walls of text i already wrote lmao

so, again, thank you so much for the question and i hope this was a satisfying... and coherent answer!

[idv-harmonic-melody]

❛If you think you're getting away, i will prove you wrong!❜

Killernight Disco Essence

It was only another disco party, as there had been a lot of other ones before - some even more popular than this one. But, as the night was about to end and most had already left, something was found: a body in one of the bathroom stalls, and all the doors seemed to have been locked, with the telephones not working - just who could have done such thing? And what would happen to those who were now stuck in that place?

S tier || The killer - [??????] ❝Who could have thought that such night would end up in tragedy? Who could even think that you have this plan in your mind?...Well, either way, you can't let any witnesses leave - but the night is long, and there shouldn't be a problem in playing a little game of cat and mouse with them, right?

A tier || Star of the show - [Robin] ❝You came into that club just to sing, in your heart, you knew that everything you did was for the happiness of others, and there was nothing else you loved more than it - and people seemed to love you back, always appreciating your voice, so why would you be subjected to such thing?❞

A tier || Clueless attendant - [Lily] @ask-the-artist-lily ❝ You came to this party as a suggestion from your friends, you have never been the biggest fan of places with a lot of people, and loud music actually made you a bit stressed, but as long as you were having fun, it was ok, but, if you knew this party would end with only you alive, maybe you would have thought twice about coming.❞ This character has connections with the character of "Interrupted Night"!

A tier || Interrupted Night - [Beth & Xiao] @ask-idv-baker @vigilant-yaksha-idv ❝ When did you first heard about this club? Was it via someone from your job? Maybe university? Or did you just heard it from some strangers on the streets and decided to come alongside your best friend?...Either way, this way the biggest mistake you have ever made, and, even after death, you still want to get whoever your killer is.❞ These characters has connections with the character of "Clueless attendant" and are dead! (Two of them now cause i made the rules/j)

A tier || Club regular - [Aventurine] @my-fortified-wager ❝ Every employee in the place already knows you, there has never been a singular party where you didn't come, therefore, you know almost all of the other regulars of the place, and also knows about the struchture as if it was your second home, perhaps it will come in hand now that you're in such situation.❞

A tier || Lead investigator - [Orpheus] @musedevoted ❝ You came into here to relax, after such an stressfull work day, the last thing you wanted to deal with was a crazy killer or something similar to that - you already did this every single day, after all, this was your job as a detective. But well, it seems as if you really can't have a moment of peace.❞

B tier || Survival Drink - [Sunday] @idv-hsr-sunday ❝ Your job was to simply go behind that bar and make the drinks for everyone, you were no security guard nor someone who knew how to fight agaisnt the killer, but, as one of the only employees that were in the establishment when everything was locked, you were unfortunate enough to be here.❞

B tier || Lost money - [Topaz] @my-fortified-wager ❝ You always kept in your mind the idea that you should never retreat from a game, no matter if you're winning or losing, after all, this was the life of a gambler such as you - never back down and always show confidence, even if the thing being put into bet is your own life.❞

B tier || Ingenuous Lamb - [Firefly] @stellaron-girlies ❝ Parties were never your thing, you never knew how to interact with people and you could only be described as a goody two shoes, this party seemed like an opportunity to come out of your shell, even if just for one night - no one could have prepared you to think that it could perhaps be your last.❞

B tier || Good game - [Matthias] @askthemanorresidents ❝ Another game, another win - the pride of not only your family, but also of the entire town, an athlete with a bright future, who seemed to be ready to exceed the expectations of such a small town and maybe become famous in the whole country, you only wanted to come and celebrate your win with your fiancee and friends, so why did this need to happen?❞ This character is in a relationship with "Pretty shoes"!

B tier || Pretty shoes - [Kafka] @stellaron-girlies ❝ How could you come into here without a good look? Everywhere you went, you were the one to catch the most attention - charismatic, good looking and well dressed - these were three things that always described you, and of course, you could not go low on the celebration organized by your fiancee - but oh, if you knew this would happen, you wouldn't have used your favorite clothes!❞ This character is in a relationship with "Good game"!

More information about the essence + Rules!

This essence is inspired by Slasher movies from the 80s-90s, the story, as seen in the intro, is that there was a party happening in a club, and everything seemed to be going well, however, as 5am was coming and most people had already left, a killer decided to lock everyone who was still in the establishment there, wanting to go on a rampage there while playing a game of cat and mouse with everyone there.

The clothes will all be inspired by 80s disco looks because honestly this entire essence first came into mind when i went to take a look at these clothes

If you want to claim a spot, just send something in my askbox or in my dms, telling me who is your muse and which spot you want to take! I ask everyone to take at maximum 2 spots so everyone has a chance to participate!

The character of the S skin, "The killer", will be selected via a roullette, where i will roll all of the other characters in the cast, and whoever it lands will be our mysterious killer! Alongside with that, the order of deaths in the essence story will also be decided via roullette!

All muses can participate! Oc, canon, crossover ones, from both idv and hsr and so on!

Because of the themes of this essence, i ask all the muses sent to be adults

I will try to put out the skins ASAP, but if i take a little bit of time please be patient!!

[globodamorte]

I'm kinda pissed off.

(lmao had to put it under a cut bc it got LONG)

didne sleep well like usual woke up with my neck hurting and my mom screaming calling for me like and when I asked what she wanted she just said "come.downstairs and help me call your sibling" and like.ok IG God fucking damn I'm in pain ok call the sibling let's go downstairs idk what she wants and she was like "just help me. clean your room. clean the cats litter. just Do something..." and she started fuckin. telling my cousin how much she hates that we don't do things the exact moment she asks us. and how "wrongly" she raised us..while I'm fucking sleep deprived and in pain and generally exhausted. constantly.

and I'm trying my best but I can't say that bc I don't "DO" anything and therefore I basically "DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT" to be exhausted and if I'm in pain that's MY fault for being a sedentary fat bitch bc again I don't "DO" anything. and I KNOW she's upset about my weight bc she's said so before one time she got pissed and yelled at me and just HAD to mention how I'm just getting fatter at home without doing anything with my life. it doesn't even matter to her that I lost 5kg in a month all of a sudden if her old jeans can't fit me then I'm still too fat IG.

I'm in so much pain and every little thing is so fucking difficult for me and I'm so exhausted all the time and I can't mention it bc to her (or anyone for that matter) bc I'm "lazy". she decided I'm "not as depressed anymore so why am I being like this?". like I'm already stopped doing the thing my ent doctor asked bc it's just. too many things and I keep forgetting at the end of the day. I WANT to do it. but it's HARD. EVERYTHING IS SO HARD. but things CAN'T be hard for me bc I'm "intelligent and smart (<- had good grades in fucking. grade and middle school I guess)" I'm TRYING. but it doesn't matter to them. bc to them I'm not. to them I'm being lazy.

like idk i feel like it's so dishonest to compare me to a non (or let's be real, less) traumatized version of myself. like bitch yeah sure I was 10 and got good grades. I still dealt with bullying from my own "friends" and self image issues I couldn't tell my parents about. I had to hear sexist comments about my body when I was , FUCKING 10, and not being able to do anything about it bc the solution was just to exist differently I guess.

like ofc I understand that they can't see inside my head to fully understand but they don't even partially understand and I'm terrified of trying to explain. I'm trying my best. I really am. some days my best will be making food for everyone. some days my best will be showering and doing my skincare. some days it will be brushing my teeth at least once. and yeah some days it'll be nothing. but when I think about the way they see me I start feeling crazy "am I really trying? did I manage to trick myself? am I actually fine and just pretended so hard that now I think I'm actually ill"

i don't even know anymore. I'm exhausted.

it literally does not matter to them. if I stay out all day and come back and say I'm tired they be like "but you don't do anything" I realized it's almost an automated response from them (at least from my younger sibling it is) there was one time I did do a lot of things at home. in front of this sibling. and when I just sat down and went "oof I'm tired" they were like "but you didn't do anything" and I realized. it literally doesn't matter if I do or don't do anything they WILL say the same thing.

no matter what I do it really will never be enough for them. they just want me to magically not be mentally ill anymore. they will never say this, but what they want from me is basically that. I just need to stop "moping around", lose weight, get a job (which I do NOT feel capable of doing it maintaining), and be happy. easy right? it's not like I have a good reason to be like this (,they're the reason,) they dont want ME. they want the version of me inside their heads that honestly I don't. think ever existed. bc if I try going back to pinpoint the moment 'everything went wrong' I'll just keep going back forever bc there's no moment like that. I guess I just took longer to break but the thing is. now I'm broken.

[pesterloglog]

John Egbert, Jade Harley

Act 5, page 2880

EB: ok, we have 10 minutes and 25 seconds.

GG: hmmmm i wonder what the significance of that number is

EB: why would it be significant?

EB: numbers don't always need to have significance!

GG: but they usually do!

EB: ok, well the number is now less than it was, and therefore less significant.

EB: and by less, i mean more! you had better hurry upstairs and make your special item.

GG: yes, youre right

EB: hey, what do you think we should prototype this fussy little orb with?

EB: heheheh, it seems like so long ago that rose fed mine a clown.

EB: we were just messing around, we didn't even know what we were doing.

GG: i dont know...

GG: there are so many possibilities

EB: yeah...

EB: it's almost like your grandpa put all this crap here knowing we'd have to make that decision.

GG: hmmmmmm!

GG: yes, it sure seems that way

EB: he seems like he was an awesome guy, i would have liked to have the chance to talk to him.

GG: well

GG: maybe you will get that chance john

EB: oh?

GG: yes, as a matter of fact i am sure we will both get that chance!

GG: i once dreamt that we would

EB: huh...

EB: wait, are you saying we will prototype him?

EB: like i did with nanna, to bring her ghost back to life?

EB: as...

EB: another ghost?

GG: sure, why not!

EB: i guess that makes a lot of sense, actually.

GG: that is what i believe this game is for in part

GG: you got to bring back your nanna, rose brought back her cat, i can bring back grandpa, and dave...

GG: dave got to bring back a dead bird because of course he is too cool to have any dead family members

EB: yeah, also he brought back himself from the future.

EB: who... wasn't dead, but was going to die maybe? i dunno.

EB: specifically to save my life, as well as yours, i think.

GG: wait, he did????

EB: yes.

GG: that is

GG: soooo cooooool :O

EB: it's pretty neat, i guess.

GG: i almost completely forgot i was his server player!!!!!

GG: i hope hes not in trouble, i should check on him

GG: we probably have so much to catch up on

EB: i just messaged him, he is not answering.

GG: i dont see him in his house either :(

EB: ehhh, he's fine, he has been doing a lot of time traveling.

EB: i talked to him from the future, so he must be ok now to make it that far.

GG: oh, ok...

GG: jeez, i feel so out of the loop :(

EB: yes, that is why we need to get you in the loop!

EB: the loop being the game. hurry upstairs! your transporty pad thingies take you straight up, right?

GG: yes! ok here i go

EB: oh, wait!!!

GG: what!

EB: what do we do about prototyping?

EB: we shouldn't put your grandpa in yet, unless we want lots of imps and ogres and stuff that look like your grandpa.

GG: augh, nooooooooooooooo

EB: we could put in something really lame, to make all the monsters weaker!

EB: or at the very least, more ridiculous looking.

EB: like one of these weird pictures of blue ladies lying around.

EB: what's the deal with those, anyway?

GG: oh god, dont get me started :|

GG: he was a strange and silly man

EB: i guess we could just put nothing in and see what happens.

GG: hmmmmmmm, perhaps

GG: is that allowed?

EB: i don't see why not.

EB: maybe i will ask rose, because she suddenly understands everything for some reason.

GG: yes, thats a good idea

EB: we have ten minutes to think about it.

EB: whoops! i mean a lot less than ten minutes!

EB: hurry upstairs, go go go!!!