#personal stuff tag

[merioux]

seafoam

[johannesviii]

Repaired my fave jacket, got emotional, drew something about it

[professionallyunstable]

so i started to think about some stuff. never doing that again.

[inkskinned]

i'm a little afraid to go to pride this year. many of us are, a little. sitting around our tapas and video games, the silence that hangs over the discord server. it feels different, we say.

we're privileged. the community that came before us laid the groundwork so i could be raised in a different world, and i will never forget their sacrifices and dedication. they gave us this: a pride that feels like community and celebration and joy. i remember the first few times i went to a queer event - i'd been raised so catholic. feeling safe like that, for the first time... it saved my life. i go to pride to celebrate that feeling - my people, laughing. out in the sun, the way we couldn't have been even 25 years ago. that feeling: no wonder we call it "pride."

who am i to be afraid anyway. there are parts of the world where people are doing much better work than i am. but it's just: i felt at home there, you know? and this year feels different. we are waiting on the dam to break. last year, at boston pride, there was a whole gaggle of sign-holders shouting about jesus. you walk around them and try not to let it get to you.

this year, i'm going to DC's pride with my girlfriend. google sends me concerns about if it's safe to exist in trump's america, if World Pride is a bigass target on all of us. every article uses the words "safety concerns" many, many times. three days ago i witnessed a shooting.

even straight people keep telling me - people are weird lately. sometimes we blame it on Covid and sometimes we blame it on the full moon. but i do remember a time before this, right. it's not just that people are more comfortable being rude. it's this strange, outwards violence. a comfort in being cruel.

it's a big hole to fall down anyway. it's not like they're going to do anything to make pride safe, not really. i don't want a police presence as the solution. and what if this is just fearmongering! what if this is just to get us to stop attending our own events! what if everything is actually fine, and i'm just freaked out by the stated intentions of our president!

and what if i'm just listening to things that are being said. what if i'm weighing the shape and size of this america accurately.

my mother calls me. she's been getting the articles too. i assure her i'll be careful, but i put the phone down and stare at it. i'm going to go to pride. other people made it safe for me, it is my duty and my honor to show up for my community. the only thing we've ever had was each other. it was always an act of bravery. being ourselves is brave.

but i am afraid. i lay out my outfit and i kiss my girlfriend. i cut my nails and clean up my undercut. i hold her hand and hang the sunset flag. the sound of this america feels different. like a volcano trembling. i will love her and i will love being queer and i will sing over the noise of it.

but ... still. in the back of my mind. that feeling, like something terrible has been shifted. like somewhere in the night - they remembered we're different.

[mofroggery]

some sticker designs i made for a school event! yippey :-)

[toomanypotatos]

was any of it real?

…

AAA A ACTUALLY DIGITAL ART WORK WOW

Bear with me guys this one was rough and I was low key just like eh it’s good enough I haven’t drawn anything digital since like February so I’m a wee bit rusty

I think tumblr killed the quality so that sucks

[unknowinglydeceasedlol]

I genuinely mourn the person I could have been.

[borderlinejackiee]

[hurristuff]

For this Disability Pride Month, I saw a post that was shittybad and it made me angry. So have this

[goldsnek]

'Sup! Started making a longer Radioapple fancomic, takes place some time after S1 ending.

CW :canon divergence,violence, pre-relationship, 7 deadly sins mention

I'll be posting 3 pages each time! page 4-5-6

[raticalshoez]

They're like a packet of fruit snack gummies

[candycatfalls]

twinsies <3

@kerink

[professionallyunstable]

kinda tired fighting for a life i don’t even want

[mirroringshards]

cute bpd things!!

paranoia

*small inconvenience* BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP BREAK UP

yeah im fine lol look at this meme :D

paranoia

mood depending on them

every text hurts or feels way too good

intrusive thought yeouch okay ouch thats another one yeOOUCH

the 50000+ articles on how youre abusive

paranoia

fp is bad for me but its ok i love them<3

"if i hurt someone its gonna be myself"

becoming completely obsessed with someone the moment they give you the slightest attention

never being able to cut anyone off ever. immediately go running back

cry because theyre talking to someone that IS NOT ME

oh my fp isnt here. okay. oh im dissociating okay i dont have any purpose to continue living without them okay my life literally revolves around them i want to die where are they are they safe i dont know what to do with myself

"just leave. everyone does anyways"

5 minutes later theyre the worst person ever

*looking for an identity* hmmm, where could it be?

dependent on fp like theyre a parental figure you never had

paranoia

[nemosopenletters-blog]

Do you ever wanna just do the most violent things to yourself? Like have you ever hated yourself SO much that you could physically and mentally torture yourself willingly until your body just gave out from the pure exhaustion of it all?

[tear-stained-lenses]

*No reply*

Oh so you want me to kill myself?