#phil tries new things

[fromemotoangel]

the silly :3 as requested by vi @wdapteo here

[fryday]

Everything We Know About The Phagenda

I needed a place to organise all the info we've gotten from DNP about what the hell they're cooking, so this is the place. I might have missed things, so please always check the original post for the most up to date version of contents as I might change or add things over time. Any questions, just shoot me an ask or something. Thank you and happy conjecturing!

I tried to arrange the info roughly chronologically in each category.

It's probably more than one thing

Dan mentioned some things coming "somewhat after and a little bit soon after"

Phil said, "We've got a few things in our mouth at the moment"

Definition of "agenda" suggests multiple things

Money stuff

Phil made his cactus club subscription more affordable in preparation for what he and Dan are doing next

Phil took a question about what they're cooking in his latest Q&A video. He said that something may or may not "happen in the next month", but did not answer the section asking if we should be saving up for it.

Those who RSVP'ed will "be notified first as soon as the news drops" -> presumably related to a limited quantity of items up for grabs, which is why I've included it in this section, but that's just my guess

Concept / Nature of the Thing(s)

Someone on Twitter said, "So the phlonde has been in the works for months if that was the main reason he let his hair grow out" and Dan replied with, "what else is he plotting"

Dan and Phil included a blurred out image of a text message in their video, which Dan called "the draft for something that is top secret".

SuperSeizer (one of Dan and Phil's editors) is in on what's happening (the other person in this interaction is their other editor Kris, who may also be involved, depending on how you read this interaction)

In his birthday livestream, Dan talked about how they revived the gaming channel not knowing what the response would be, and were shocked by the enthusiasm from their audience. "Because it seems like there's a thing here. [...] And we need to be like, celebrate the things, acknowledge the things. So, I guess we can say in the most vague way that we can that Dan and Phil have been cooking."

Dan posted his story with the words, "the time is nigh - want to know what dan and phil have been secretly cooking? / reply to this story with: RSVP / and we will send you a dm as soon as the truth is revealed"

Another definition of "agenda" is "the underlying intentions or motives of a particular person or group".

5 of the images in the TV screens have been identified as of right now: Phil's Video Blog, Hello Internet, Saying Goodbye Forever, Giving The People What They Want, and Something We Want to Tell You

Laylo, the website DNP are using for this announcement, is a platform that creators can use to release merch, tickets, or content.

The initial wave of people who RSVP'ed got their confirmation emails from news@mail.danandphiltour.com with the reply email being dh@danielhowell.com. It was then changed; now the emails come from news@laylo.danandphilshop.com with the reply email being danandphilshopweb@gmail.com.

Dan and Phil would have been aware that they were using the tour email at first, as they would have had to manually enter it themselves. (Thanks @dnpbeats for the investigative work!)

They included a 3-second teaser clip at the end of the Sims fashion makeover episode.

[boytoyhalo]

actually i have thoughts about qfit coming out and the fucking courage that had to have taken him as someone who spent the past 10 years of his life on 2b2t

Idk how much people who have never played on 2b2t actually know about the culture and environment there but because it has no rules, theres a shit ton of casual (and not so casual) bigotry of all sorts. Im 100% sure fit has to cut a TON of shit out of his videos, because the first and only time I ever logged onto it it was less than 10 seconds before i saw a wall of bedrock swastikas and slurs being thrown around in the chat. and anti-gay slurs in particular are a big part of the common terminology there, at least according to the wiki and a few of my friends who used to frequent it. Actually, the reason I never watched fit before the QSMP despite being aware of and interested in his content is because I made a point to stay away from anything 2b2t related for my own mental health - the hate speech there is so notorious that I had been warned to do so, and that was reaffirmed the one time I tried to play on it

Basically, that server is a fucking nightmare to be gay on just in terms of the real life community - in-universe, i imagine that would be reflected tenfold. So for Fit to have spent so long surrounded by that kind of attitude towards gay people, presumably closeted and possibly not even aware of his own queerness... it makes sense that he's been as hesitant as he has been to verbalize his feelings for pac. He can do it just fine when it's played as a joke with Phil or Forever or whoever else, but to find yourself entering into a real queer relationship after spending so long surrounded by violent (and most likely deadly) anti-queerness is fucking SCARY. Even without factoring in the general trust issues that spending that long on an anarchy server gave him, there's no way he didn't internalize at least some of that attitude.

So the fact that after these 7 (8??? is it 8 now i cant be bothered to count) months on Quesadilla island, surrounded by queer people in queer relationships being treated completely normally and supported he feels safe enough to (kind of) come out as gay to his son.... idk I'm just feeling super soft over it rn. Obviously it's Ramon, it's his son, who's been talking about getting him a new husband, so he knows he's safe. But knowing that logically and FEELING that are two different things and it's huge for a man who's spent a third of his life on arguably the least queer friendly space in the entire minecraft community to be able to speak it out loud like that..... im so proud of my bald gay cubito guys

[natigail]

DnP playing a drinking board game with liquorice and soups should not be that hilarious. Just!! I had to pause the video approximately twice a minute just to take in the next hilarious thing that they said. SO many innuendos. Phil doing it on purpose for sure, glint in his eye as he was watching with glee as Dan struggled to consume liquorice, not even stopping when Dan tried to wave him off. Dan the cougar with the animal print and Phil with the blond hair, blue eyes combo. Getting use out of their left-over New Years cups. Repeat of Phil really struggling with soups (they are evil when lumpy and cold, Phil, I feel for you). Dan's hatred for liquorice (though that drink must have been toxic levels, so fair for that but not the salted liquorice because that's also a loved sweet here in Denmark as well as Sweden). Phil handing Dan the black piece instantly and choosing blue for himself. The mug with the whiskers (deep nostalgia). All of the little mini games where they're fighting so intensely, stumbling over their words and almost spilling drinks. The banana video censored and Dan hiding behind the board game packaging. Dan joking if Phil slept with the bearded ginger and Phil's lil shut up huffed out through laughter. Dan comparing himself to a hippo needing a bird to pick out stuff between his teeth, TILTING his head jokingly towards Phil as if he should be the bird and just go to town (no words for this, they are insane!). The secret draft thing (birthday related?)! The Phil can't have chocolate, so don't make that type of cake pls, mum. The sheer drama of their dice rolling and Phil threatening to leave or stick some authority on Dan about seven times. Phil being so brave and actually drinking that horrible concoction (though Dan protecting the sealz <3). The little iPhone videos put in, clearly of them just fumbling around. The sheer laughter and smiling and joy that was all throughout the video, even as they were suffering with their drinks/foods. They are just so gay and I don't even dare tally up all of the innuendos. I feel like I need an immediate rewatch. They are just so entertaining and funny and feeling themselves and it's contagious and I love them and they've come so far and this is the longest sentence ever but that's okay because none of this is meant to be pretty or nice, it's meant to just express my love for these two insane dorks that have made videos for us for like 15 years at this point. Anyway, I'm clearly completely chill. Great video, guys.

[artiststarme]

Dead or Alive

After Spring Break, no one could find Eddie Munson dead or alive. His Uncle Wayne, the angry mob, even the police couldn’t locate him so everyone assumed he was dead. Some grieved his loss but most celebrated his apparent demise believing it to be what he deserved after killing Chrissy, Fred, Patrick, and Jason and hurting poor Max Mayfield.

Once the town recovered enough, Wayne bought a headstone for an empty grave and dutifully washed off the new graffiti that appeared each day. The kids of the Party mourned the loss of their idealistic Dungeon Master and disbanded Hellfire Club out of respect to him. And Robin and Steve disappeared to Steve’s empty house to grieve the loss of a friend (or so it seemed).

Because while everyone thought they were grieving and finding support in each other, they were actually caring for Eddie’s wounds and watching gay movies on Steve’s couch. They are junk food, cuddled in front of the TV, and appreciated being alive.

Steve couldn’t be around the party because he was supposed to be broken-hearted but it was the opposite. While he left the Upside Down the most recent time with more scars, both mental and physical, it also gave him everything he’d ever wanted. It took him away from the job he hated, gave him more time to spend with Robin, and it gave him a prospective boyfriend.

He felt bad keeping Eddie a secret away from the kids and his uncle but he had no other choice. Until he and Robin could brainstorm a logical explanation for his innocence and return from the dead, it’d be the three of them in hiding. Which to him, wasn’t a bad thing. Between the love of Robin and Eddie, his house felt less like a crypt and more like a home.

After a few weeks, they’d all gotten used to their solitary. Imagine their surprise when someone walks in on the three of them watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show right on the scene of Rocky showing off his fishnet clad calves. Imagine Officer Phil Callahan’s horror when his eyes landed on an injured homicidal maniac sitting half on his brother’s lap while drooling over Tim Curry. And imagine Steve’s mortification when his brother stood unmoving in the doorway of the living room with one hand on his hip and the other held over his open mouth in shock.

“WHAT IN THE FUCK IS EDWARD MUNSON DOING IN OUR PARENT’S LIVING ROOM?!” Phil shrieked, his face going red in barely concealed rage.

Steve, Eddie, and Robin all spoke at once.

“Is he? Oh my goodness, I didn’t notice. Steve, Eddie is in your house!”

“It’s just Eddie, you piece of shit.”

“Ok technically, I can explain.”

Phil just looked at them like all three of them were insane. “HE’S A KILLER!”

“No he’s not. He’s just a metalhead, Phil.”

“What is that supposed to do with anything, Steve?! I don’t care that he’s a metalhead, I care that he murdered at least three people in a week!”

Steve shot up from his seat so he was nearly eye-level with Phil. “Woah, he did not! I was with him the entire week and neither of us killed anyone.”

Phil just shook his head in confused exhaustion. “Is he dangerous?”

Steve looked him directly in the eye, “no! He didn’t do anything and he’s one of my best friends now.”

“Fine. I’m not dealing with this shit tonight. You,” he pointed at Eddie, “don’t kill anyone. And Steve, do not wake me up before ten AM unless someone is getting killed. Jesus Christ.”

He stomped up the stairs, grumbling under his breath the entire way. Meanwhile, Steve sat back down next to Eddie and gave him a small smile. “Well, that went better than expected.”

Eddie looked at him in disbelief, “did it Steve? Did it?”

(It, in fact, did not. The next morning, Steve had to tackle Phil away from the phone when he tried to call the chief and then had to hold him down while Robin rambled the entire story in an impressive four minutes. He only gave up once Steve threatened to disappear himself and Eddie (and Robin) forever without ever contacting Phil again.)

Should I make this into a longer fic? Let me know in the comments please!

[astradyke]

Please write the dissertation on how phil deals with dan's self deprecation :)

hi! i am not certain what exactly you are referring to, but i will be using my best guess that you are referencing what i talked about in this post about a certain minute and a half from a certain video. if that's not what you meant, shoot me another ask! but assuming that's it, well, without further ado...

a deep dive into 19:57-21:26 of What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 2

What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 2 was released December 21st, 2021 on AmazingPhil's channel. this video was released around two and a half years into Dan's hiatus (two years from their joint hiatus). setting aside the several YouTube Originals including Dan as talent, the next upload released on his own channel would be Why I Quit YouTube, released May 2nd, 2022. the sole reason i mention this video is for the contextualization of what was occurring during What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 2-- this video was taken at some point after Dan had learned that his dream show, Dan Is Not Okay, was not going to be actualized, a reality that he described as traumatic.

i want to be explicitly clear that i am NOT intending to speculate on what was transpiring in private, nor am i romanticizing severe trauma. this is a frame by frame commentary post about publicly available content.

the outro to this video begins at 19:52, with a single frame that cuts at 19:57. At 19:57, Phil says: "Bunch has happened with you that we did not text about," to which Dan emphasizes, "That I can't talk about." Dan begins speaking on his own at this point, but you see Phil's face shift as he prods Dan to "talk a bit" about what is going on-- his eyebrows furrow, he's making direct eye contact with the camera, and he seems to be frowning. As Dan talks calmly yet vaguely about the circumstances we later learn about in Why I Quit YouTube, Phil's face shifts from the previously described expression to one where his cheeks puff up, his eyebrows still furrowed-- clearly annoyed. This shift happens as Dan is talking:

"Look, quite a few things, dreams of mine-"

"-got quite catastrophically torpedoed..."

Phil's face is like this for only a second before he relaxes it, though he still looks noticeably unhappy after. There is a jump-cut ~20:12, where Dan now has his hand resting against his face, while Phil emphatically expresses: "Like, Dan has been so close to almost giving you something, and then it's been taken away."

at this point, Dan carefully starts saying that several of these projects might happen in the future-- to which Phil looks a little defeated:

before looking irritated, even more-so than before, when Dan says: "... but I cannot to just wait for them or be gone in the meantime."

again, relaxes again after a few seconds, and only begins to look positive when Dan describes that "somehow, some way, in the new year, I will be back."

... okay, so why did i show you any of that? mainly because i think it is significant to contrast the way that Dan approaches this subject versus how Phil does. Dan is plagued with vestiges of bitter professionalism and a sort of sadness as he tries to allude to the nightmare of his last two years, which makes sense in the context of his indecision over how to respond to what happened. all that Dan has experienced has forced him to constrain his emotional responses, as he has spent two years walking along a very similar edge with his literal dreams at stake. Phil, meanwhile, has a subconscious reaction to what Dan is saying, and without intending to, expresses across his face the shifting emotions that Dan feels unable to show.

to me it mirrors something we see in the I TRY TO GIVE DAN A HAIRCUT!! video. In this video, Dan continuously expresses uncertainty about promoting his book, being repeatedly encouraged by Phil to talk about it-- only for Phil to insert a segment at the end of the video to promote it more fervently. Dan is forcibly holding back, versus Phil openly expresses what Dan feels he cannot do in that moment. when Dan is wading through complicated emotions in order to treat the subject of his recent trauma respectfully, Phil is pantomiming what Dan cannot say in that moment, what he is not safe to say: that he got completely fucked over. Phil is communicating what we would spend five months knowing nothing about, in a way that exposes nothing except the fact that he was by Dan's side, feeling a fraction of his pain, throughout it, and that Dan didn't deserve it. that Dan is not at fault for his own absence.

at 20:35, Phil perks up and expresses that "the world has missed your sarcasm," voicing not only his own excitement ("I'm braced") but also the audience's excitement to see Dan return to YouTube. Dan laughs, before asking: "have they, though?" here, Phil very earnestly says, "yeah!" he is slightly shrugging, eyebrows rising (i couldn't capture a good visual here, sorry). the conversation is quickly hijacked by Dan, who continues to say "maybe this has been good for the world"-- Phil makes an expression here that is convoluted to read, mixed with both irritation/skepticism but also losing a degree of seriousness-- and starts laughing to himself as Dan goes onto say, effectively, that maybe things are better without him there at all. this is a very noticeable part of a lot of Dan and Phil content: Dan makes a self-deprecatory remark, Phil responds very earnestly, and then Dan continues to take it in a joking direction, so Phil picks it up and jokes back.

this feels jarring, at first, because at the time that this video released, i remember being surprised at how dark Dan was being, in a place that was clearly meant to be laughed off but was not executed like his typical cynicism. Phil follows along with laughing about it, because they are professionals and moving along is a quick way to handle something that does not need to escalate to an intervention/argument, but Phil does not joke about this from the beginning-- he is very earnestly assuring, at first, before realizing that Dan is doubling down, and he backs off. and he actually does this a lot across their videos: following Dan's lead.

20:48 is when Phil starts the actual outro of the video. at 20:51, after thanking the audience for watching the video, he gestures at Dan and turns to say: "Thanks, Dan-" to which Dan cuts him off to say, "Thank you for tolerating my presence." Phil continues his earlier sentence, correcting Dan by saying, "for treating us with your presence."

this is done (1) immediately and (2) deliberately. there is no shift in Phil's facial expression, no muddling or joking about what he is saying. Dan, in this moment, is reverting and doubling down on the self-deprecation we started to hear just a moment ago, and Phil is responding to it not by cutting Dan off, or bantering about it, or scolding him, but by very clearly correcting it. Dan is asserting what he believes to be the truth-- this does not read like his regular cynical humor-- and Phil is, in turn, asserting his truth just as confidently: that Dan is, as he said at the very beginning of this video, "a gift" for the audience. That Dan is creating something beautiful, that it's not his fault what is happening to him, and that both the audience and Phil want him.

the outro continues on, and Phil does his promotional stuff, explicitly including Dan in pretty much everything he promotes. here's my best attempt at a screenshot where you can see how close the two of them moved together over the course of this video; this is Phil telling people to subscribe to Dan.

Dan then says, at the very end of the video, that "it has been... a year." Phil doesn't express much facially, but he does say a very clear, "yeah." as Dan goes on to close out the video. in the end cards, Dan's end card says: "DANIEL!" obvious excitement and endearment here.

... okay, that's cool Mare, but you started writing this two hours ago and i don't understand why i needed to read any of that?

this video holds a very different tone to the others in the series, which is possibly why it is not a favorite for many people. it is a funny video, undeniably, but it is very clear in hindsight that this was shot while Dan was in a relapse. which is why it is so meaningful and loud to me that Phil not only brought this series back unexpectedly, but also exhibits this 'pressing forward and pulling them both back' strategy. they laugh about texts, Phil does their joint promotions, and then Dan says something self-deprecatory-- Phil steps up to sincerely counter it, and then pulls them both back as the next jump cut happens. the two of them are in-step, here, matching each other: Dan and Phil alternate discussing Dan's solo work issues; Phil picks up when Dan is trying to make a joke and joins in on it; when Dan self deprecates, Phil takes the same exact sentence and changes a singular word without a visual second thought. they do this all together.

there are a lot of ways to navigate self-deprecation. notably, when arising from a serious internal crisis colored by depression, you can't reason them directly out of it-- it's an immutable truth, to them, something that the world has affirmed. when Dan says that the internet would be better without him, that his presence is merely to be tolerated, you can tell that in the moment of this video's filming he did genuinely believe this. Phil recognizes that any attempt he makes to combat this has to be subtle enough to look over, but clear enough that the audience registers it in their head. it has to be said like it is an obvious truth, because to Phil (and us) it is an obvious truth. and it has to be done in line with Dan, not cutting him off or speaking over him, but by giving him the agency to express how he feels, and informing him, gently, that Phil is in love with him even if Dan is struggling to love himself.

Phil wanted us all to know in this video that Dan was being mistreated, even before any of us knew what that actually meant. even as Dan dealt with the psychological repercussions of this on his own mentally, it reminds us that Phil was there the entire time, Phil saw it and he grieved, too, because if the hiatus showed us anything it is that Phil loves Dan's solo work and his creative mind more than pretty much anything, aside from Dan himself. he also tried to emphasize, at the beginning and the end and even in the foundations of the video, that Dan being there was a treat! not something to be taken for granted! that Dan was something special, something the world desired, and yes that may sound obvious given that we were all there eagerly waiting for joint content, but in the context that Dan was being used for billboards and specials and whatever the fuck just because he could, that he was conscripted into projects and then forgotten about, that his own dreams 'fell through the cracks'... yeah.

a major reason why the hiatus years are so fond in my heart is that they are a clear period of time where you can see Phil's relentless devotion to Dan. he does the most that he can to support him-- he brings him onto a fun joint video, he promotes his merch, he really promotes his book, he coaxes Dan to talk more about solo projects, and he emphasizes that he wants him there. and this is all why this video in particular is so meaningful to me. it's the two of them, unexpectedly for us, bringing back a series where they revel in their insane psychic connections with each other, and it's Phil saying over and over and over again-- this person is with me. i am by his side. i am proud of him, and i radically refuse to take him for granted. he can never go anywhere that i won't follow him.

and that, that is everything.

[grey342]

Daddy's home

baby daddy phil x reader

synopsis - phil picking up your daughter but his car breaks down and is insisting to stay the night.

warnings - MDNI 18+ content, masturbation (F), being caught, Oral (F receiving), P in V and slightly possessive!Phil.

authors note - *insert 'Hey Daddy' by Usher* - p.s this was waaay longer than i expected it to be so sorry not sorry :)

please do not steal my work - belongs to @grey342

He's late again.

You'd think after nearly a year he would have the drop off and pick up times down to a tee but no.

Your daughter was sat watching her favourite tv show whilst you paced in front of your window, constantly checking your phone for any new texts or calls but that was wishful thinking.

This is always how it goes. He turns up late, blames traffic, flirts with you and he always tries to get his 'goodbye kiss from both his girls' whilst you’re shoving him out the door.

You and Phil have known each other since high school. You've always been pulled to each other like a moth to a flame. Always on and off, one week you'd be the happiest couple on campus and the next you were screaming at each other in between classes.

This constant cycle followed you all the way through college too until, you ended up seeing those two pink lines. When you told him he was over the moon. However, the novelty of family life wore off three months in and you came up with this co-parenting plan that you have to this day.

Being too caught up your thoughts, you didn't hear his car pull up on your drive. It's only when he knocks on the door you actually realise he's here.

"You're late. Again." You say opening the door.

"Aww, now that's not a nice way to greet me. Is it sweetheart?" He says looking you up and down, and licking his lips.

"Don't call me that and stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" He replies, changing his position to leaning on the door frame with his signature smirk plastered on his face.

You gulp and feel a shudder spread it’s way down your spine.

"She's waiting for you in the living room." You manage to get out, trying to avoid his gaze.

He chuckles and enters the house but not without "accidentally" brushing his hand against your arm. You take a deep breath in trying to compose yourself because you were not letting him know what kind of effect he still has on you. Even though, you're almost 100% sure he knows.

"Hey baby, ah daddy missed you so much. Have you been taking care of mommy like a good girl hm?" He coos to your daughter, looking straight into your eyes.

"Here's her bag," you hand him a pink bag with all of her things, "I need her back here by two on Friday. It has to be two it can't be any later." You declare.

"Yeah, yeah i know." He mutters still looking at you.

"Good. Bye baby mommy loves you so much, i'll see you Friday," you give her a kiss on the cheek, " be good for daddy." You hear him take a sharp inhale after that last statement.

He makes his way out the house and you stand in the doorway to wave goodbye. But when Phil tries to start the car up it backfires. You see his confused expression as he tries again and does the same thing.

After a couple attempts he opens the car door and makes his way to the other side to get the baby out.

"What do you think you're doing?" You shout out to him.

"I'm gonna have to spend the night," sensing you're about to retaliate he continues, "no one’s gonna come out this late just to check the engine. It's only one night. I'll sleep in the guest room and i'll deal with her if and when she wakes up okay?"

"Okay." You sigh, giving in.

"Good girl." He says walking past you and into the house.

It's gonna be a long night.

...

It's only when you hear your daughter go down for the night and the guest bedroom door close you can finally relax. You don't know how he does it but even after all these years, he still gets you hot under the collar. In more ways than one.

"Fuck." you whispered. All this time you were thinking about Phil and now your panties had a small damp patch. You decided to just ignore it and go to sleep but it wasn't that easy.

After lots of tossing and turning you chose to just give in. Reaching your hand down you began to rub slow circles on your clit through your panties, letting out a sigh of relief.

You began to think about Phil. Every little detail that you know and love. His soft hair that you loved to grab and slightly pull when he was eating you out. His beautiful ocean blue eyes that would burn holes into your back when he was pounding you from behind. His hands. God you loved those hands. The way they would be an expert at everything they did and the veins that lightly protruded through the skin.

You began to rub faster and harder. Panting now. But there was something missing. Without realising, you broke into a small chant of his name. Barely whispering it as if it were a secret you wouldn't even tell the devil.

"Phil.. Phil," they started to get louder and louder with each one, "Phil.."

"Yes?" A voice in the dark whispered back.

You squealed, immediately sitting up and turning your dim, bed side lamp on. Seeing him stood there with no shirt on and grey sweatpants with a growing tent in them.

"What the hell are you doing!" You spoke, not too loudly to not wake the baby.

"Oh baby, how iv'e missed those sounds God, you have no idea." he states walking closer to the bed.

"Phil, I-I can ex-"

" There's no need. Just," he takes a deep breath, "lift up the covers and let me see what we're dealing with mkay?" He says raising an eyebrow.

"Wha- What? No!"

"Come on, stop kidding yourself. We both know you need me and I need you. Just one more time hm? for old times sake?" He says now sat on the end of the bed.

The more you think about it, one more time wouldn't hurt. It would get it out of your system and maybe you would finally be able to move on from each other.

"Okay." You breathe out. He looks at you whilst licking his lips.

"That's my girl"

Wasting no time he instantly leans over connecting your lips as his hands find sanctuary in your hair and yours on his chest. He slowly moves forward laying you down in the process and began kissing, nipping and sucking your neck. Your breaths turning into pants.

You feel his hands pushing the bottom of your shirt up, indicating that he wants it off. You carefully lift yourself up and take the shirt off revealing to him that you are wearing no bra.

"Jesus fucking Christ" he mumbles, staring right at your chest. He looks up at you his eyes never leaving yours as he begins kissing your right boob with his hand groping the left.

He smirks when he begins to hear the soft whimpers leaving your mouth. He then takes your nipple into his mouth and began to lightly suck it, now pinching the other one with his index finger and thumb. He switches over repeating the process.

He slowly starts to kiss down your stomach and kisses the stretch marks that were left behind after your daughter.

"You're beautiful. Every single inch of you." He declares looking into your eyes. He goes further down until he kisses your clit through your panties.

You suck in a deep breath as he smiles looking at your face. He slowly pulls down your panties but then wastes no time latching on to your clit and sucking.

He lets out a deep groan and you give him a quiet moan in return. He then shoves his index and middle finger into you beginning to move them in and out of your sopping cunt.

"Oh fuck.." You whimper.

"I know baby, I know.. But I gotta prep you it's been a while." He murmurs back to you.

"Phil, please.. I need you," you sigh deeply, "now."

"Yes ma'am." He says whilst pulling his pants and boxers down. You sit up lightly and your eyes widen. You could never forget how big he is but it still takes the breath from your lungs.

He rubs the tip along your slit then slowly pushes himself in. You both let out a moan at the same time as he fills you up. He starts to move in and out of you slowly, testing the waters.

When he realises you're okay he starts to move faster and harder, knowing exactly what gets you going. Your moans, his grunts and the sound of skin slapping, being the only thing you can hear.

"Fuck what I said before," he says through gritted teeth, "i'm not going anywhere. Oh shit. You're mine and i'm yours."

"Phil," you moan, "i'm getting close." You wrap your legs around his torso and dig your nails into his back.

"I know, shit, me too baby. Me too." He brings his hand in between your bodies to rub your clit. You let out a loud whine in response.

"At the same time, okay." He stated.

He begins to rut into your faster, his fingers also speeding up. Your nails dig deeper into his back as he shoves his head into your neck. His moans and whimpers being right next to your ear.

"Oh fuck..Phil."

"Let go baby, let go." As soon as he says that your eyes roll back into your head, letting the pleasure take over you.

"Fuck." He drawls out as his cum fills you up.

He pulled your panties and pj bottoms back up and slumped beside you, tucking you into his side.

"I meant every word i said, i'm done with this bullshit we're meant to be together and you know it." He declares.

"Can we at least go out on a date first?" You question.

"Woah, that might be pushing it." He says, hiding his smirk.

"Phil." You scold.

"I'm fucking with you," he chuckles, "of course we'll go on a date." He finishes with a peck on your lips

"But you're paying" You slap him on the chest, trying not to smile, as he laughs.

[sebscore]

GOSSIP GRID

pairings: pierre gasly x driver!reader / charles leclerc x driver!reader / yuki tsunoda x driver!reader

warnings: mention of sex and the whole piastri x alpine drama.

author’s note: this idea was dropped in my inbox, so thank you to the person that submitted it! I hope you like it!

• • • • • • •

“Oh my god, Gasly! You’re never gonna believe this- oh, hey Yuki. Charles.” Y/N found them in front of the Alpha Tauri hospitality.

They greeted her back. “Hi, Y/N!” “What’s going on?” Yuki simply giving her a small wave.

“I just found out about something, but you can’t tell anyone!” The young woman unsubtle looked around them, scanning if anyone was eavesdropping on their conversation.

Charles, Yuki and Pierre’s face immediately turned serious at her words, taking a step closer to her.

“Allegedly, Alpine are going to announce Oscar Piastri as their new driver for the next season over the summer break.” Y/N whispered to them.

Charles furrowed his eyebrows and Yuki glanced at an unimpressed Pierre. “That’s it?”

“That’s it?” She mockingly copied him, “of course that’s not it, you bimbo.”

“The problem is that apparently McLaren want to sign him for the next season and Oscar is actually considering it.” She continued, looking at their reactions as she finished the whispers she had heard.

The three of them looked at her wide-eyed, not believing what they were hearing. “That can’t be true.” The Monegasques said, shaking his head.

“Yeah, and McLaren already have their two drivers for the next season, that wouldn’t make any sense.” Pierre concluded, finding it weird that McLaren would drop one of their drivers for a rookie.

Y/N shrugged her shoulders, simply chorusing what she heard from her “sources”. “That’s that I was told.”

“Yeah, but you believe anything if it’s any form of drama.” Pierre argued.

“That’s not true.”

“Y/N, remember when that rumour went around that you were pregnant? You literally believed that even thought you hadn’t had sex in months.” Charles added, pleading Pierre’s case that the woman was gullible.

She gasped as Charles’ words left his mouth, making the Japanese man next to her chuckle. “Hey! There was that girl on Dr. Phil that said she was pregnant by Jesus, you never know what can happen!” She defended herself, even though there was some truth to the drivers’ claims.

“But I am serious about this! You’ll see when that announcement is made that I’m right.” Y/N smirked, pointing her finger at herself and walking away.

“The girl's crazy.”

“She’s gonna get herself in trouble one day.”

“[BREAKING] Oscar Piastri drives for Alpine in 2023!”

“Oscar Piastri denies he will be driving for Alpine next year!”

“Piastri allegedly to sign contract with McLaren to succes Daniel Ricciardo!”

The headlines sounded, the summer break being bombarded by F1 drama.

The two French speaking men who had condemned their female friend for believing anything and everyone, were absolutely shocked that every single thing she had told them was actually true.

As soon as Oscar had send out his tweet, claiming that he wasn’t going to drive for Alpine, Pierre called her.

“Okay, how the fuck did you actually figure that out?”

Y/N loudly laughed, like a super villain would do. “Oh, now you believe me, Gasly? What were you saying a few weeks ago again? That I was gullible?”

“Alright, alright… I was wrong, I’m sorry.” He apologized. “But just- how?”

“Look Pierre, when you’ve got a pretty face like mine, it’s not that hard to get information out of people.” She smirked over the phone.

The Frenchmen couldn’t help but give her credit, she knew how to get stuff done. “Well, I’m impressed, Y/N. I wouldn’t have been able to do that.”

“… if that’s your way to get me all like “oh no, Pierre, you’ve got a pretty face too” forget it!”

“I tried.”

[justcallme-ange]

Happy 1 Year Little Comforts!! <3

Give or take a couple days - oops ^^;

One of the longest projects I've done to date!! <3 <3 <3 Thank you all so much for the support, as well as all the comments and tags! I love going through them and reading all the lovely messages. They're a great pick-me-up whenever I'm feeling demotivated. So thank you again <3

So for the anniversary I wanted to do a little thing where I point out some details in the comic I'm very proud of XD (Yes I'm tooting my own horn - shhh)

Three Wishes Dream asks Techno to promise him something 3 times. And only on the third one does Techno agree. I tried to frame it as both Techno being cautious about agreeing to things Dream proposes (a la favor) but also as Techno finally agreeing when everything was laid out and there was nothing Dream had left to hide. (It's like a fairytale trial - 3 challenges with the last having a great reward.) Forget-me-(k)not I don't know how prevalent they are now a days, but growing up I was a really forgetful child, and learned somewhere that by tying a knot on your finger when you need to remember something supposedly helps in you actually remembering. Which idk if true, it didn't really work on me, but the knot itself actually stuck, so in this case I used it for 3 things: A reminder that Dream was stuck in prison and needed help, a reminder that Phil needed to get Techno out of prison (eventually), and a reminder that Techno promised Dream he would free him. Scars So all the scars that I drew Dream with all actually have canonical reasons. So in order - the one across his nose was from Techno during their duel, the ones on his neck and chest were from Tommy taking two canon lives, the one on his lips were from Sam after first being detained, and the last on his chin (and arms) are from Quackity. Continuity The armor that Phil is wearing at the end is a reference to another illustration I did of the Doomsday Trio. It's post prison break so maybe it's a sequel? (This is less a detail and more just a personal thing - but my favorite page has to be page 7 - where Dream's image crumbles. It usually takes me at least 2 tries to get the look I want - this was one and done ^^) More behind the scenes - this comic (final version) started with the hug. I said initially the comic was supposed to be 6 pages at most, but I wanted to make the hug work so bad that I literally rewrote the comic. Only the first two pages are part of the original draft. Everything else was new. My brother literally sat with me for days going over each scene and making edits. OTL There were so many iterations - in the end I think there are at least 7 drafts of this comic. Cut Content Bonus: Unlike my other comic where the vision was there from the beginning, Little Comforts had some growing pains, and a few scenes had to be cut for it to work. So here ya go!

This was cut in favor of the shaking scene, some levity was needed to let the scene breathe, plus quoting my brother "It's more Techno".

Also wanted another hug, but editor and I felt that it took away from the pay off in the end.

Alternate version of 'he's a child' - originally it was supposed to go at the end of the comic, as an epilogue. Timing wise it ended up not working, which ended up with an even better gut punch so I'm not too upset. I may still render this....

[rosefires20]

Before I go to bed, here is a late night rant:

Q!Tubbo is such an interesting character. Tubbo, himself, has gotten the full QSMP experience in a way the rest of the new players haven't. We all joked about him having Brazilian energy, but he literally does lmao. He rolled up just like the Brazilians did all that time ago and just made himself completely at home in the story by complete accident.

I do think he got a special chance because Tubbo streams everyday and Phil went to Brighton to film Sorry videos the week after Tubbo joined. Tubbo got the chance to spend time taking care of the eggs and being their primary caretaker for a week in a way none of the other new players have gotten which has shaped his character a fair amount.

He is so invested in the eggs and they aren't even his kids you know. I haven't finished his VOD from today but I saw a clip of him spinning the wheel and the lava dropping on him. He tried to save Chayannes floatie immediately and the despair in his face at watching the lava fall on the items was intense as well. He had those eggs for less than a week and he got to know them in ways that only the rest of the islanders that have been there for MONTHS have.

It's just such an interesting dynamic to see. Q!Tubbo is also the youngest outside of the eggs which plays a lot into his character. He questions q!Fit because q!Fits involvement in other things that he can't share and q!Tubbo doesn't understand that. Q!Tubbo still has an innocence to his character that most of the islanders have lost over time which is really interesting to see.

In general, cc!Tubbo also just gets along really well with everyone so far. He's become a cemented part of the early gang with Fit, Pac, Foolish and the various others that join early in the day. His dynamic with q!Fit and q!Phil has been a lot of fun to watch because he pushes q!Fits character more than most of the islanders have and it's always interesting to see q!Phil with his closest friends/family.

Idk it's just refreshing to see. He's just accidently walked himself into this crazy experience that the QSMP is and immediately got invested. There's a strong level of relatablity there too that hasn't quite been around the same way since the beginning of the egg event.

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Fun AU time! Call it an "adopted introvert" au!

Technoblade is alone and alone is how he likes it. Absolutely. He's not lonely. Not at all. He just likes spending his time adventuring! Can't have friendships when you are adventuring, it takes too much time.

Anyways, Technoblade is exploring a fortress when he comes across a strange room. It has some kind of altar thingy? Its ancient. He is looking around it when he accidentally bumps into something. Sets off a Mummy-style rube Goldberg machine that breaks a vase hanging above the altar.

Out pops a flustered blond man with massive black wings, blinking at Technoblade with confusion.

The guy opens his mouth to speak and Technoblade books it. Conversation can't get him if he runs. Take that, socialization.

Technoblade runs for a while, stops to breath and check behind him to see if the guy is following him. He sees no one and turns back around.

Blond man is grinning at him, covered head to toe in soot.

His name is Philza. Technoblade didn’t ask, but the guy introduced himself. He was sealed up in that vase for REASONS. Philza does not explain those reasons, but Technoblade doesn't ask. Mostly because Techno is doing his best to jog away. Philza doesn't let him. Philza basically shouts at him that now that Techno freed him, Philza is bound to follow him everywhere. Techno is frozen in place by that. Oh no, he's been cursed with company. The absolute worst.

Techno finally stops to ask how to undo it. Philza is giddy as he tells Techno a variety of very silly tasks he needs to do to have them split.

Technoblade sighs and agrees, heading off in a direction as Philza chats with him.

Here's the thing. Philza lied. They are not bound together. Philza just got trapped because he was a bit too silly and MAY have caused a civil war in the nether. But he's just a silly guy! He's just having a fun time, living his best life. Not his fault people can't take a little bit of mischief and decided to seal him away. He was just having fun.

His fun DOES have a body count, but that just shows he is the LIFE of the party.

Anyways, Techno and Phil travel together. Sometimes, Techno feels like he should leash Philza because the man keeps doing ridiculous things (PLEASE do not steal all the saddles in the village, Phil! We can't do this!). However, Philza is also pleasantly surprised about Techno's streaks of chaos. If anyone tries to imply Techno CAN'T do something, you better believe he's gonna. (No, Techno, you can't sit in the shiny gold chair. Its reserved for the mayor-PLEASE STOP OVERTHROWING THE MAYOR!)

Philza loves this about Techno. They both can be so chaotic. But Philza also loves how Techno seems to mellow him out, to. Philza doesn't feel the constant need to DO. To EXPERIENCE. He can just...fish by the lake with his bestie. Its nice.

Phil eventually comes clean about not being bound. Of course, he comes clean about this AFTER Technoblade wears sliced potatoes in his socks for 3 days, one of the "trials" he made up at the start. Techno is quiet at first about that, and Philza is very nervous he just lost his only true friend.

Techno shrugs and says he should have seen that coming. Betrayal, from his new best friend! How could he? The audacity of this man! The cruelty! The gall! Techno goes on and on until Philza is laughing at Techno's dramatics. Techno jokingly asks how he can seal Philza back in a jar for this affront. Maybe a chicken canning company? Philza is so relieved that Techno isn't mad.

And Techno isn't. He had spent enough time with Philza to know when the man was lying. It became clear that Philza was bull shitting him. He had his suspicions for a while. But the company was NICE. Like a missing piece. He felt so much calmer and happier. What's one lie?

Techno declares that Philza can only make it up to him if he does all the trials that he convinced Techno to do. Philza tries to argue against this, but Techno is deadset. And Technoblade is so stubborn that eventually gives in.

Phil's going to regret making Technoblade speak backward for a week. Phil can't even read, how do backward words work???

Anyways, silly little thought! Just a fun Emduo having goof time.

Phil really thought going about making friends in the most fae way possible was a good idea and Techno's like "sure lmao" I love them <3

[incorrectbatfam]

I h3ad cannon athat all the batfam members have had/are still in their emo/goth phases.

Example:

Bruce dressed as a bat and punches criminals at night (I also head cannon that he listens to the rolling stones and MCR)

Anyways thoughts?

Also what were the other batfam members emo/goth phases like?

Dick: He was hella neurotic in his late Robin/early Nightwing days. That plus his mullet and guitar tells me he probably tried to live out of a used van he bought for $700 after a fight with Bruce only to come home a week later when someone knocked on his window.

Jason: He's the theater/classic lit goth. When he was younger he would read by the glow of a candelabra even though the lights work perfectly fine. Post-resurrection, he graduates to the biker anarchist who has no problem launching a molotov at a CEO's mansion.

Tim: He's from the 90s. He's sitting in that Y2K grunge-emo-punk gray area where his playlist is a mix of the Clash, Nirvana, and Green Day. He's coloring his hair with Kool-Aid, playing with makeup, ripping his own clothes, and talking about new songs on AOL.

Damian: He's aiming for dark academia, but that's hard to pull off if you know what American schools look like. He annotates the margins of his books with notes he thinks are insightful but are actually just basic observations. Also he listens to Imagine Dragons.

Duke: This kid isn't emo or goth, he is a punk through and through. Sassing the cops? Jumping off a bridge? Leading a ragtag vigilante team? If he wanted to, I bet he can pull off a leather jacket with some homemade spikes while blasting Bad Brains and Death.

Cullen: Canonically, he watches anime and Supernatural, and I've made a lot of Tumblr references with him. He's definitely your quintessential 2010s emo nerd—Black Parade, fandoms, the whole shabang. He also definitely followed Dan and Phil.

Stephanie: She strikes me as the early 2000s pop-punker—think MySpace and Avril Lavigne. She probably had a Not Like Other Girls phase that she quickly grew out of. I can see her cutting posters out of magazines and sneaking her MP3 under an oversized hoodie.

Cassandra: She canonically listens to Killswitch Engage, so I like to imagine what she was like as a baby metalhead. Maybe she thrifted a Pantera shirt and chopped her hair with safety scissors. And at concerts she's absolutely up front when the wall of death happens.

Barbara: I think she dabbled in a little bit of everything without ever outwardly expressing it. Her playlist is all over the board, from softer rock to screamo. She also experimented with makeup a little, like black lipstick, and is more involved in the activism side of things.

Harper: She's definitely industrial punk with a huge emphasis on the DIY aspect of the subculture. She strings soda tabs into chains, turns old screws into boot spikes, and even learned to give herself tattoos. She also absolutely has a drawer full of patch pants.

Carrie: She's a TikTok e-girl, leaning into the pinks and purples along with black and white. She turns fishnet leggings into gloves and has a bunch of animal ear headbands. She also listens to Melanie Martinez and Tame Impala regardless of if they count as alternative.

Kate: Queer people play a huge role in the punk scene and vice versa. I can absolutely see Kate jamming out to an early Pansy Division track or searching places like Bandcamp to support smaller indie artists. Also she has a jacket that says "Nazi punks fuck off."

Alfred: Before punk and its subgenres, Alfred was canonically a delinquent and in that day, delinquency meant gelled-up hair and moving like Elvis. The hair didn't work out for him, but he was able to catch one of the first shows Buddy Holly played in London.

Selina: Alt cultures are based on not having much and working with what you got. Selina would use the five-finger discount at big-box stores and save her money to support small businesses. She also went around listening to free local rock shows on Fridays.

Bruce: He listened to the Rolling Stones before, but his first real intro to the scene was a handmade zine he found on the floor at school. From there, he explored more underground artists and took up journaling as a way to vent his feelings. And then: Batman.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Is that really JuanaFlippa?

Based on everything we know right now, the answer is "no"

What's more likely is that this is a Binary Monster pretending to be JuanaFlippa.

On a meta level, we know the admins of dead QSMP Eggs said they won't reprise their roles, but it's no fun to base lore analysis on meta alone, so here's a lore explanation for my reasoning:

First, and perhaps the most obvious explaination: JuanaFlippa never had cracks in her shell. She died long before the event where all the Eggs got kidnapped and were returned with cracked shells, yet this "JuanaFlippa" had cracks. What's interesting to note here is that during the Election Dinner when the fake Chayanne and Tallulah tried to trick Phil, he immediately pointed out that they didn't have cracks in their shell while the real Chayanne and Tallulah did. Perhaps the imposter was trying to overcompensate for their previous mistake by adding cracks to JuanaFlippa's shell not realizing that she never had them in the first place.

The reason why I specifically say this is a Binary Monster is because of the signs she left:

We've already seen the Binary Monster(s) try to replicate regular non-binary writing before when Etoiles encountered the fake Dapper and fake Tallulah (the book he showed Forever pictured below):

"My Dapper me na name" —> "My name is Dapper"

We know the Codes are constantly evolving and learning, so naturally their writing is getting better too (though we can clearly see 1s and 0s and other errors in "Flippa's" signs despite this).

But what's the Code's motivation in doing this?

In the past, we saw the Code(s) mimic Eggs because they wanted to attack and kill Presidential candidates— but that's a pretty recent development. Remember: before the elections, they were attacking the Eggs (though they also attacked Maximus and Cellbit at one point). The motivations of the Binary Monster(s) has always been unclear, and there's a lot of potential roads we could go down while theorizing, but in the interest of keeping this as relevant to the current discussion as possible, I'll focus on just one:

We have strong evidence to believe that the Binary Monster didn't want Islanders to stay on the island. It kept attacking the Eggs and leaving behind signs that said "Last Warning," strongly implying that it was trying to chase them away.

HOWEVER: shortly before the elections, QSMPGlobal tweeted an image of the Binary Monster above the Federation building.

[ Note: I thought I had this photo saved, but I didn't. I've been scrolling through their media tab for 5 minutes and Twitter crashed, so I'll have to add this photo later. It’s very late and I am so so tired. ]

This is the first time the Federation acknowledged the existence of the Binary Monster, and afterward, it said Islanders wouldn't need to worry about it attacking them. Why would the Federation suddenly acknowledge this physical embodiment of a mistake, an error, on their (supposedly) perfect Island?

The answer? The Federation took control of the Binary Monster. Why else would they suddenly deem it "not a threat"?

We could clearly see the Binary Monster deteriorating over time during the election arc. It looked shabbier and shabbier as time went on during the election arc. Something was clearly wrong with it (perhaps whatever the Federation was doing to control it hurt the Code in some way? Maybe the Federation experimented on it and made their own Binary Monsters?) But I digress-

The next time we see the Binary Monster after the Election ends is on Tazercraft's recent stream this week. Not only does it have a new upgrade (the strange OP sword Cellbit + Etoiles saw records of), it also ignores Richarlyson and opts to take a swing at Pac and Mike instead.

Now here's where things get really weird.

Earlier this week, we also saw the Binary Monster on Etoiles' stream. It didn't attack him, and instead leads him to a sharestone, which teleported him to a portal. He's given this image, then is kicked from the QSMP with the message: "The Nether Awaits."

So what does this have to do with JuanaFlippa?

...Well, that's the question, isn't it?

This is where things start getting murkier. I want to draw our attention to two specific things Flippa said before she left:

"It's not safe out there for me."

"Please keep this a secret."

The Binary Monster has already proven time and time again it's a force to be reckoned with. Why would it need to hide? Is it so that it can get closer to Charlie? (And if so, why? To mimic him? To get information?) I think a likelier answer is that the Binary Monster is trying to hide from the Federation itself.

Perhaps whatever the Federation did to shackle it— whether they experimented on it or copied it or whatever— left it damaged and weak. Or perhaps it isn't damaged at all; it just needs to lay low and needs someone else to do its dirty work for it (like sending Etoiles on a quest to find that strange shield in the Nether).

Unfortunately, a lot of this amounts to speculation because we simply don't have enough information yet. (It's also very very very late for me, so this analysis is purely driven by sleep-deprived madness and love for QSMP lore and JuanaFlippa).

Whatever's going on, we need to be very careful and think carefully about this being's motivations. Like Cellbit said: "Eyes always open."

Anyways, feel free to share your thoughts in the tags or comments or whatever, it's always fun hearing what people think of my analysis posts. You can find other analysis posts in my QSMP Info and QSMP talk tag.

[kittycatcomander]

AU where SBI are villains, and Kristin is the villain wrangler making sure all the kids who get counseling in her office get a chance to meet who ever they want, even if they’re wanted dead by the hero commission.

Cue meet-cute(?) between Kristin and Phil, where she spends weeks tracking down the infamous “ Crowfather, killer of heroes and hater of the system” because some little kid wanted see him, and she stands tall and totally not terrified (/s) on a rooftop waiting for him.

And Phil is faced with this woman who spent hours and hours researching his routines not to arrest him but to let a little kid meet him, and he just falls for her.

So they exchange numbers, and everytime from there on out when Kristin has a kid who wants to meet The Blade or Orpheus or Nemesis she just casually shoots THE TOP VILLAIN a message, internally screaming, while Phil is kicking his feet on the air like a stereotypical teenager everytime his phone dings with a personalized ringtone.

Hero!Dream: I have finally confronted you, doer of evil! Today, our fight will be legend-

Crowfather!Phil: wait pause mate- OMG ITS HER 🥰🥰

Hero!Dream: wait wha-

Technoblade: I’ll take it from here

And so begins her getting really casual about the fact she personally texts the top villain.

I’m imagining some side stuff where she meets Tommy, a sidekick in desperate need of help (which she’s happy to provide), and a few others who’s relationship evolves with her over time.

Kirstin when first meeting the Blade: hooooooly smokes this guy is Dangerous, but if the kid wants to meet him… I’ll be prepared

Techno: uhhhhhh (struggling to interact with the receptionist, holds kids and swings them around gently like planes, lets them win fake fights)

Kristin: ok wait he’s like seven shaking puppies built like a brick house

She and Phil talk more and more as the arrangement continues, about everything and eventually life, and things shift from there. The first time that a villain tries hurting one of the kids also shifts their relationship…. especially since Kristin handles it as efficiently as she does.

There’s more, but in this AU I imagine Kristin to have a super dangerous power of her own (unregistered because teehee) that motivated her to work with troubled youth in need of help and kids working with a limited lifespan. I want her to be OP but just friendly and downplaying her ability since she was never in a situation to use it to the full extant.

Also there’d obviously be a CrimeBoys plot and adoption of Tommy into the family (bye bye Dream) which leads to her getting invited over to like. Family dinners and stuff, where the interactions are all completely cute and normal but undercut by her perspective reminding her of crimes they’ve all committed. Like-

“Phil, who had the most beautiful eyes but hands stained with the blood of approximately 3,791 people, passed her the salad with a bright smile. His son(?) continued the story of how he met a new friend. Kristin wasn’t sure if the story was in or out of masks, and she was scared to ask at this point.”

I especially want her to and Phil to reflect the two main approaches to changing the world, where you could either completely destroy the system in place (villains, anarchy) and forcefully restart, or you could tackle an issue at its lowest (if the world is full of corrupt people, change the people from a young age)

[piratefishmama]

Finders Givers | Part 5

“So why’d you freak out?” Eddie expected the grilling, the second they left that extravagant building, he expected the grilling. “I mean, they were both super nice, I mean… Robin was… wow, I mean did you see her? I just—” he also kind of expected that, with the way Chrissy had just frozen at her entrance? Yeah. he expected that. “Wowzers y’know? But Steve was really nice too! He’d have probably offered us those jobs Eddie, we need jobs! Just cause rent is frozen doesn’t mean we don’t need jobs, we could save up our wages and use it on like, a holiday or something, we could go to Hawaii an be dumb white people tourists like in Lilo and Sti—”

“Did you not feel the vibes that guy was giving off?” Eddie didn’t usually interrupt her, she could go on a tangent, and the tangents were usually pretty cute so he’d often just let her go on with herself until she ran out of topics, allowing her to feel comfortable to just talk without feeling like she shouldn’t, but this time… he couldn’t hold it in.

“Steve?” She didn’t seem to mind though “yeah, I almost offered to let you two have some alone time, he was giving you serious bedroom eyes—”

“Chrissy no, nope! Not that! No he’s—he’s weird.”

“Weird in a hot way? Cause in my humble opinion he was working that suit. Do you think that tan was natural because oo-wee was it working for him.”

“Well yes, we both have eyes, but also no, dangerous weird, y’know? Something felt wrong about him, Chriss.” He felt like he was drifting in open waters and Steve was a huge leviathan type thing just waiting in the depths beneath him to drag him down away from light, away from life.

“You’re just saying that because he’s the boss of this big multimillion dollar company. Next you’ll be saying he’s capitalism personified or something, rich man buys out the neighbourhood, blah blah I can’t do your infamous table speeches, but listen, Eddie, he’s… he seems nice, maybe he is just nice.”

“And maybe he’s the mafia.”

“Eddie…”

“HE COULD BE! We don’t know that he isn’t.”

“This isn’t a movie, Eddie, c’mon let's just go home, maybe we can call up later about those jobs, yeah? It couldn’t hurt to work at a place you play at. Lenny wouldn’t give us the time of day when we tried applying for jobs there before, maybe we can get one now, it’s like… fate! Maybe Steve and Robin will come in one night and we can wow them with our fancy bartender skills, which we’ll of course learn through extensive trial and error, maybe a training montage, I’ll get my very own uptown girl an you’ll get your own hot rich man who’ll buy you fancy things and pamper you like I know you won’t admit you like but I know you’d eat that shit up.”

“Thought you just said this wasn’t a movie.”

“Some movies are based on real life stories! It could happen! It’s more likely than the mafia, c’mon.” Well… she had a point, they did need jobs, and Steve had… well he’d been nice hadn’t he?

There could be so many ulterior motives to what he was doing but why would it have to negatively affect them? It could just negatively affect some dude called Phil who lived two states over, it didn’t even have to involve them, really. Besides getting them a new job, right?

Right?

“…Fine, but you can send over our resumes, I don’t want anything to do with this! If the handsome rich devil man decides to give us the jobs, and comes into the bar, and I HAPPEN to serve him, and impress him then I will concede that the universe would like me to have a nice thing happen, but I will not go looking for fairytale endings, okay?” He knew better than to get his hopes up.

Steve Harrington had looked at him like he was dinner, he’d done the whole stuck staring stupid bit, and it’d been endearing, cute, surprising considering holy shit Steve was like… way out of his league, but… if the universe wanted it to happen then the universe would make it happen!

Eddie would have no part in the process of it happening! He’d just… indulge a little in the end result.

“Someday, Eddie. Someday I’m going to convince you to go and find good things for yourself, and you’ll see just how easy it is to make yourself happy.”

“Someday perhaps, but today is not that day.”

“Be honest now… what did you think of him?” It wasn’t a common thing, Steve sat in front of Robin’s desk, in the chair opposite her big floor to ceiling windows, with Robin looking pretty menacing in her high backed chair, shadowed, her hands steepled at her chin, thumbs pressed into her own throat in thought, her silence stretched long enough for him to tack on “think from a non-lesbian standpoint.”

“I think he looks like a passel of Opossum in a trench coat. A domesticated raccoon, a wet rat that some cruel individual permed for some reason.”

“Well that’s mean, and definitely not from a non-lesbian standpoint.”

“That’s from a person with eyes standpoint.” Steve rolled his own eyes and slumped backwards in the chair like a petulant teenager, arms crossed over his chest. “He looks like he’d scamper, Steve.”

“What’s wrong with scampering?! It’s cute to scamper!”

“It’s reserved for tiny critters, not fully grown adult men.”

“Men can scamper if they want to, don’t you impose your weird masculine rules on us, Robbie, it’s problematic.”

“I swear to god if I catch you on twitter—” shook her head, hand lifted to cut herself off “Steve… is this guy really worth all the money you’re throwing at this?” It was a lot of money, a lot, and they wouldnt get any of it back.

“I mean… I don’t know, but then I didn’t know if Jane would be worth it, or if she’d get any use out of the bakery I bought for her, I didn’t know if paying Nancy’s debts off would be worth it, I didn’t know if any of you would be worth the effort and money I put in to bring you all in and keep you all healthy and safe, and I still did what I did for all of you, so… why is this guy any different?” So far he’d been a spectacular judge of character. “Plus!!! He comes with a very cute blonde!! I’m sure you noticed the very cute blonde.”

“Aren’t you worried that they might be dating?” It was a very good point, and one he hadn’t actually considered. But then—

“If they are then they are, it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t give them a chance like I gave all of you guys a chance.” Anyone who’d knock the shit out of their manager for their friend or partner was alright by him, it showed a loyalty that laughed in the face of authority, he LIKED when people laughed in the face of authory. Authority figures needed to be laughed at sometimes. And punched other times. Robin’s shoulders slacked, her expression shifting to one of soft amusement. “Yooooou wanted me to say that didn’t you?”

“Maybe a little. Just making sure you’re not thinking entirely with your dick. They’re not dating by the way… she’s not even a little bit his type.” Eddie had been quite open about his own sexuality, on purpose or just as a spur of the moment thing, Robin didn’t know, but it was nice to know Steve’s interest wasn’t entirely a lost cause.

“I was wondering why you dropped my relationship status in there.”

“Mmm… I did notice the very cute blonde… she seemed nice.” Bubbly, cute, like a cheerleader “and only because Chrissy seemed very nice… only because I would very much like to see her again… am I going to agree to go along with this nonsense without further complaint.”

“You cant agree to go along with something without complaint while calling it nonsense.”

“Watch me, Dingus.”

[astradyke]

okay yeah let's get freaky with it (not an acceptable way to start a post whatsoever) i cannot stop THINKING about this fucking We're All Doomed cap. like just in the last TWO days...

[ID: photo one is of Phil Lester in the hospital, wearing the We're All Doomed cap. photo two is of Phil Lester in a pool, in which the We're All Doomed hat is laying on the edge of the pool. end ID.]

and then not to mention all the latest videos...

[id: photo of Phil wearing the We're All Doomed hat]

(there are definitely more but i'm multitasking so i can't sleuth out the videos rn)

like, when i am trying to describe Dan and Phil as a phenomena to my friends i always mention the fact that Phil is like THE consistent hype person for Dan (vise-versa but focusing on Phil here). "Dan is leaving me" is obviously an insane video about their relationship but also spends a substantial time promoting We're All Doomed; "I TRY TO GIVE DAN A HAIRCUT!!" is basically just YWGTTN promo. What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 2 (iirc) Phil encourages Dan to talk vaguely about upcoming stuff, etc. like Phil is ALWAYS so crazy supportive of what Dan does

from the mukbang "I wanted you to be happy [...] you did loads of shit on your own" (quoting from memory)

but something about the We're All Doomed hat feels DIFFERENT to me fundamentally because it's just... such a casual thing? they're no stranger to using their old merch, or wearing merch in videos after its release, but Phil literally cannot be separated from this hat as a guy who never seemed to be that crazy about hats to begin with. but it's just such a casual presence in his life, like a must-have object, it goes with him everywhere from Türkiye to the A&E, just this constant support for Dan's solo work.

when Dan says in Basically I'm Gay: "And for someone who has dealt with the same kind of self hatred I have, one person accepting you makes all the difference." (quoting from memory again),

it's like. there is such a love confession in the sheer act of seeing someone's creative work, something they poured their life and soul and savings into, and holding THAT in your palms -- and loving it. Phil was part of the WAD pre and post show, Phil was listed in the credits, even in Why I Left YouTube Phil's presence is there in the fact that he was patient as Dan tried to pursue Dan Is Not Okay, even at the potential risk of them postponing moving. don't even talk to me about how Phil was involved in Dystopia Daily, not only as a guest but also working on the set too.

holding something that has as much meaning as We're All Doomed does to its creator and not only loving it in the moment, not only relentlessly promoting it, not only being part of the premiere, but also continuously wearing its merch -- it's such an embrace from Phil of not only Dan as a person, but who Dan is creatively, and the ways he expresses himself.

and considering all the thematics of We're All Doomed, the hope and the new era and the self acceptance... yeah. fucking YEAH.

we talk a lot about different kinds of love and all the different ways they love each other, and i think this has always been the loudest and what i've personally been most affected by. the way that Phil Lester became a safe and accepting place for Dan Howell back when he was eighteen, and how he never fucking stopped being that place for him since.