#poor Constantine

[woodland-gremlin]

Summoning Your Secret Boyfriend Pt. 5

First Previously AU Summary

“What do you mean by the Anti-Ecto Acts?” Constantine asked, hoping against all hope that it wasn’t what it sounded like. Because if it was it was likely they would be dealing with something worse than Trigon.

“The Anti-Ecto Acts declared all beings that produce or require ectoplasm as non-sentient and unfeeling imprints that are to be handed over to the government for experimentation and extermination. Every being in the Infinite Realms is made of ectoplasm, it is what carbon is like for us,” Supernova said.

“Those acts made the persecution and mass genocide of their people legal and their very existence illegal. The only reason they didn’t accept those Acts as a declaration of war for the whole planet or dimension is the innocent people. After all they were ruled by a tyrant for multiple millennias, they understood that the acts of one being or group doesn’t define the whole. But that doesn’t change the fact that they would protect their people if provoked. They already had a war with the organization that created those laws. If we told you about them you could have provoked them in condemning this whole planet. After all without the League we would be open to other invaders,” Red Robin finished.

Batman scowled. Everyone else looked horrified, especially the JLD. Zantenna’s magic glitched causing random things to levitate around her. Captain Marvel zoned out, trying to process all the new and terrifying information, while unknowingly to everyone else arguing with the Gods in his head. Raven looked even worse than when she learned that her Father would try to use her as a portal to invade Earth. And Constantine? Well, he looked like he was about to become the newest Halfa.

“You’re telling me that the U.S. government basically declared war against the Infinite Realms?! The in-between of the multiverse? The place that houses beings more powerful than gods? And yet we’re still somehow alive?” Constantine screeched.

Batman cut in, “If what you say is true and they are as dangerous as Constantine says it only means that you should have told us. It is our job to deal with issues like that.”

“Un-un,” Constantine grunts, “Did you not hear anything they said, Batsy?! We are lucky! Lucky, you hear me! It is a stinking miracle that the Realms didn’t just destroy our dimension and be done with it. Pariah Dark has done it for less.”

“Even so-”

“‘Even’ nothing. Now we are going to drop this, summon the new King, beg them for forgiveness and for them to deal with Trigon, and fix those disastrous laws!” Constantine declared while pulling out a book with a strange aura out of his coat pocket.

To be continued . . .

Next

[radiance1]

The Ghost Prince does not, under any circumstances, answer a summoning after it was made aware he existed. None know why he doesn't, some are bitter and hateful of it while others are thankful that it's one less bloodthirsty manic to deal with.

The Ghost King meanwhile hasn't been seen in multiple eons, so the magical community who wanted to use his power just, stopped, trying to summon him for a long time.

Most magic users knew that the Ghost Prince never answered a summons, and that the Ghost King just dropped off the radar.

So could you really blame Constantine for not taking it that seriously when some wannabe hotshot cultists try to summon both of them in the middle of a city to wreak havoc?

He'll give them some credit though. Points for doing it in broad daylight and actually being somewhat of a threat with not relying on just summoning the Ghost royalty and figuring out what to do from there.

The area they were in was somewhat destroyed, then the cultists manage to complete the summoning circle to summon both of them and Constantine, well he just light up a smoke.

It isn't going to work anyways so what does it matter?

...

Is that a fucking Ice cream truck he hears? Who the fuck is driving an Ice cream truck while their city is being under attacked with cultists trying to summon eldritch ghost royalty?

He'll give them some points for dedication, though.

Then he looked at the cultists and nearly had a goddamn heart attack to see that the summoning circle is actually fucking lighting up and working.

The Bat is so gonna give him a headache over this.

----

Danny Phantom, crown prince of the Infinite Realms. Does not answer summons.

For one, it is annoying as shit, whenever someone interrupts his day just to ask for infinite power (that he can't give), world domination (that he won't do) or infinite riches (which he also can't do).

It just got annoying being summoned all the time so. One day he just, well, no. And hey, it worked out well enough for him to not continue doing it.

Then he also learned that Pariah Dark is basically the same, after he got out the coffin and stopped trying to take over the world for whatever reason. He was actually a pretty swell guy!

He was just with him too, with him being not so swell at the time for making him go through lessons about Ghost etiquette, rules, stuff that's expected of him as the crown prince.

And don't even get him started on the engagement and marriage proposals.

Overall, he just wanted to find an excuse to leave. Then he felt the familiar suggestive pull of a summoning and, instead of rejection as he usually does in a second. He thought for a bit if he wanted to go with that or crown prince duties.

It was tempting, but dealing with cultists seemed worse than this so he was about to reject.

At least, before he heard an Ice cream truck playing in the background. He doesn't even know how the hell that popped up through the pull but by the gods has it been a while since he's had Ice cream.

So he answers and is gone with a pop.

Pariah Dark just stares for a good second or two, before breathing out and deciding to also answer. Fright Knight is just there, off to side, questioning what he should do now.

Danny wastes no time with the cultists on the other side and in fact, he pushes them out of the way and goes diving for that Ice cream truck he hears. Only to realize he doesn't, have any money on him.

Fuck.

Pariah Dark is less inclined to follow the rules imposed by humans like money, but he does know it can be important. Once in a while. Not that often, but it has its times.

So when he sees his adopted son being sad over being unable to pay for some kind of human delicacy, he digs around in his hair (yes, his hair.) and pulls out some money and puts it on the counter as payment.

The man inside the tiny vehicle had shrieked before getting what they wanted. Which is good. Fear is a good motivator, Pariah thinks.

Unknown to him, it wasn't out of fear (Well, mostly) but because the Ghost King placed down a coin made of pure, solid gold on his counter.

The two then go about their business in the human realm, completely forgetting about the fact that they were summoned here for something.

Constantine is both relieved and about to have an aneurysm at seeing Infinite Realm royalty only answering a summon because of Ice cream.

[minty364]

DPXDC Prompt #142

It was considered a pretty big deal when a new ancient gets born. Danny didn’t and wouldn’t know this when he gets into an accident. A signal went out to all magic users that the ancient of space was born as soon as he stepped out of the portal and then things changed. If you could make a deal with an ancient it increased your power way more than that of a demon. Soon Danny gets chased by all sorts of folk trying to make a deal with him. He then gets caught by John Constantine who takes him back to the safety of the watchtower. What is the safest place to put the space ancient? In space!

[yennao]

Yk this actually started as a second pass at @ratblazer 's DTIYS but I got a little bit excited about light pens and ended up here. At least, I think that's what happened. I got the memory of a gnat, you know how it be

[dangerousdan-dan]

A collection of John curled on the floor and being a mood.

Hellblazer #29, #73 and Hellblazer special

[hypewinter]

The observants tried to control Danny from the moment he ascended the throne. Eventually he got fed up and fled to Earth. The observants get scared that he'll figure out how to strip them off their rank and thus enlist the help of the Justice League to track him down. They claim he is a blood thirsty tyrant. This is backed up by Constantine who still thinks Pariah is King. Meanwhile Jason finds a trembling teen in an alleyway. His eyes look so devoid of purpose. He somehow reminds Jason so much of himself that before he realizes it, he's inviting the teen back to his safe house.

[satoshy12]

Danny doesn't own all of John's souls after collecting them as Pokemon.

Danny the tiny child who used John to see the Watchtower: "Sorry, John Constantine, I really don't have all of it."

John to the JL:" See, I told you."

Danny explains: "No, I didn't want like 16% of it. The few demons used it as gum, toilet paper, and similar.

I don't want it.

The rest I won in the Carnival in the Underworld. The super fun place Trigon and others showed me The one time we are all neutral from evil, good, and similar."

[noctidoodles]

DP X DC - CONSTANTINE

John Constantine sighed as he made his way to the JL meeting room . He had stopped in front of the door when a shiver ran up and down his spin and he felt breathless. He felt such a heavy force the felt like he was being crushed, almost like he was drowning. he glanced around the hallways unsure if a powerful demon was sneaking up behind him or not before he shook his head and took a deep breath before opening the door. He steps in and sees the team had already taken their seats and batman stood at the front of the table. The feeling intensified and John froze again.

"Bloody hell! It feels like death in here!" He hissed glaring towards batman. He heard a small gasp  and a small head poked its way from next to where superman was seated

"Take that back!" A white glowing haired child said appalled pointing a finger at him

"What the fuck? Are we babysitters now too?" John rubbed a hand over his face, today was really not his day and he just wanted to get drunk already back in the house of mystery

"Take it back john" batman said shortly after, not looking up from a tablet he was holding. The flash stiffled a giggle and wonder women folded her arms

"What? Your not being for real right now bats?" John said reaching for a seat and sitting in it heavily as the feeling in the room didn't ease up

"It feels like damn death in here! You lot can't tell me you don't feel it!" John said glancing at every team member, the boy had sat back in his seat sheepishly hidden behind supermans massive form again

"It's a sensitive topic at the moment" superman said with a small smile as he seemed to move to pat the boys head

John groaned, so ready to go home.

[sleepyminty]

After chapter 2 Vs After chapter 3

[skylersprompts]

DC x DP Prompt *3*

! TW GORE !

The members of the Justice League Dark have seen many things. But nothing was so dangerous and stupid at the same time, as these laws.

Constantin was the first to hear about them. While he was dealing with more supernatural threats than normal over the last two month. After the last five being he banished - who all have screeched about white monsters who stole him -, he couldn't ignore the pattern.

He didn't get an exact answer, to who this him was, but Zatanna and Captain Marvel also heard some rumors.

After some time, they found out about the Ghost Investigation Ward and... if they didn't do something quickly there would be war. And a war with the dead would be a losing war.

Who ever they took seems to be important to the realm, so they could possibly retaliate any moment.

So while Zatanna, Superman, Aquaman and Green Arrow where discussing these laws with the president, the rest of the Justice League would summon the Ghost King to offer negotiations.

All the magicians had felt when the tyrant Pariah Dark had been dethroned. And it had been like there was fresh air for the very first time. The new king was rumored to be kind and fair, but also fiercely protective. So hopefully he would be open to talk.

They even used a form of summoning that was more of an invitation, so that he could choose not to speak to them. It wouldn't be good to further anger the realms or their king.

While they tried to summon the High King of all the realms, the gentle Tug that they sent his way was answered with a desperate hold.

It was hard to hold the spell with the being clawing metaphorically at the line. But after a far to long time the pressure eased and a rift in reality opened.

A body landed with a dull thud in the middle of the summoning circle.

Everyone in the room has seen something horrific, but even someone as stoic as the bat, seemed to be sick.

In the middle of the watchtower laid a boy, maybe sixteen. His right eye was lifeless, despite the fact that he was looking around. The other one was missing and the eyesocket was bleeding sluggishly in green. His white hair had flecks of green in it. The right hand seemed to be broken, but more concerning was his left hand. Half of his pinkie finger was missing, as was the entirety of his middle finger. The rest of his fingers were without nails. And then there was his left foot... only attached by a thin strap of flesh and muscle. But all of that was nothing in comparison with the Y-shaped wound in his torso.

All of it was so distracting that they at first all missed the crown of ice above his head. The realms had screamed at them to get their king back.

As fast as they could the heros rushed the boy king into the medbay. At least Flash was here, so that they could get everything ready asap.

And Danny?

Danny was finally able to close his eye and drift into unconscious without white, orange or teal suits hovering over him.

[breadandblankets]

part 1

"Imma be real for a second," Duke said. "I'm fuckin starving."

"That's understandable," Spoiler responds. "Crime fighting is hungry work."

"True that," Duke sighs. "Batman makes us carry cash you want noodles?"

"If you're paying then of course I do," Spoiler responds easily. "You know any good places?

The thing about Steph, is that a lot of people underestimate her. Even other bats, who should really know better, seem to do it all the time. Duke privately thinks that its because she's funny and upbeat that people will just let her fade into the background as a dumb blonde.

People do this to Duke sometimes, other heroes, other bats, they'll just let him become white noise.

He wears bright yellow for fuck's sake.

Unfortunately for this Steph, future Steph and Duke spend a lot of hours together, and he knows what she's like when she is on the hunt.

Duke knows the protocols for time travel, he knows the protocols for dimension travel. Duke also knows that he's tired and starving and going to have to track down whatever Turbo Emo version of Batman is out there.

"The future."

"Weird name for a noodle place," Spoiler mutters, the lenses in her mask drawing in together.

"Not a noodle place," Duke belatedly realizing that he just completely blurted that out. "The answer to your question."

Spoiler crosses her arms.

"The question was about noodle places."

"The other question," Duke gestures vaguely at Spoilers brain, because that was so helpful wasn't it. "The one you didn't ask."

"Oh," Spoiler says about as lamely as Duke feels right about now. "OH! Damnit I was betting on dimension travel."

Duke raises an eyebrow under his helmet.

"Dimension travel?"

"Yeah like maybe you're a happy universe' Batman," Spoiler says, her body language loosening into typical Steph. "Or wait..."

Spoiler gasps, leaning into whisper: "Are you Evil Batman?"

Duke barely doesn't burst out laughing.

Barely.

"Like do you bring presents and joy?" Spoiler continues, conspiratorially.

Duke breaks into helpless giggles.

"Santa?" Duke practically shouts through his laughter. "Evil Batman to you is Santa??"

"Am I Wrong????"

Duke laughs even harder. Spoiler politely gives him time to collect himself.

"I've met both and so I can tell you, yes."

"Wait, wait hold on," Spoiler waves her hands as if to dispel the previous conversation. "Santa is real?"

"Yes," Duke says gravely.

"Wow," Spoiler blinks blankly at the sky for a couple seconds. "That is going to need a lot of processing."

"I think crises are best had over noodles don't you think?"

Steph's head whips back around.

"Fuck yeah lets go!"

[radiance1]

Vlad opened his eyes expecting to look up at his cieling.

The pair of eyes staring straight into his own was not what he wanted to see.

"I need you to make a clone of me." Danny, ever the grain of salt in a pile of sugar, said with all the tact of something who didn't just break into a man's room.

Vlad squinted up at him and scowled. "Hello to you as well, Daniel. Not even a good morning?" He groaned, reaching a hand up to massage his temple to try and offset the headache he could feel settling in. "Do you have the slight clue what time it is?"

"It's 3 AM."

Vlad blinked, and his scowled deepened. "That somehow makes it even worse." He sat up as Danny leaned back, and reached for his side table, taking up a glass with little difficulty and downing the water in few gulps. He then sighed and looked back at Danny. "What is this about making a clone of you?"

Danny crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Exactly what it sounds like, fruitloop. I need you," Danny pointed a finger at Vlad. "To make me," He then pointed that finger at himself. "A clone."

Vlad's eyebrow twitched at how Danny spoke. As if he were explaining someone complex to a child. He sighed, killing whatever retort was on his tongue to instead rest his head in his head.

"There should most likely be one left that I haven't melted down yet, do with that what you will." He shifted back some until he could rest against his headboard and waited for the nuisance to leave-

"Why are you shirtless?" Inquired the child that was still there.

Vlad opened his eyes to shoot his a glare and he scoffed. "Are you not going to run along towards whatever need you have for a clone, child. Or do you insist on ruining whatever peace I have left?"

"Is the clone an actual clone or..?" Danny tilted his eyes, eyes roaming off Vlad to the lump beside him.

"No, it won't suddenly come to life, it is just a body." Vlad explained as he manifested a wing to hide said lump from Danny's gaze. "So you need not worry about that part, though why you would need one is beyond me."

Danny stayed quiet for a moment, before shrugging. "You still have a clone of me though? That's kinda weird dud-" His smirk was slapped right off his smug face by a wing as he flew back a bit through the air.

He matched Vlad's glare with one of his own as he rubbed his face, before huffing. "Fine. I'm leaving now." He phased through the wall, leaving with the whisper of fruitloop and leaving Vlad in that blessed, of so sacred silence.

Sadly, it was not to last.

His bedroom door was slammed open, with enough strength to shake the entire room and cause the poor thing to slam into the wall with enough force to crack the blood thing. "Dad! Those weird birds are-" The voice momentarily interrupted by two shouts of alarm.

"SWEET BUTTER BISTCUITS!"

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"

"-...Why are you naked...?" Danielle said, a look of disturbed confusion on her face before she ducked low to avoid a blast of magic. "Okay, now that was uncalled for- ewwwwwwwww!" She then screwed her eyes shut and put her hands over her eyes and looked as if she might puke.

Vlad, deciding to spare his daughter from a sight only he should've seen this morning and acquainted himself with quite thoroughly last night, he moved a wing to hide his partner's... private bits, from sight. Who then decided it would be the best idea to sit down.

On Vlad's wing.

If Vlad were any lesser man, he might have complained. But he was not. So he did not.

He did shift his wing around, however.

"You have a kid?" John Constantine, conman extraordinaire, rather shamelessly took the glass offered as Vlad covered the both of them with a sheet and drank the water. "Would a been nice to know before I shot at her, actually."

Vlad massaged the bridge of his nose, a headache coming on that in no way was because of a hangover and sighed through his nose. "She was not even supposed to be here for a week more, so there was no reason to tell you anything."

To which Constantine shrugged.

"Why are you here, Danielle. You were supposed," He stressed the word. "To be somewhere in Metropolis."

A single eye peeked out from between the girl's fingers, before she let out a relieved sigh and dropping her hands. "Those weird birds tracked me down to tell you they want to meet you." Dani wrinkled her nose. "Though I think you should put on clothes though.

"Weird birds-" Vlad paused, sneaking a glance over at his alarm clock to see that it was, in fact, 3:15 AM and groaned. he dropped his face into his hands. "Those blasted phoenixes, it's three in the morning!"

Dani just shrugged and stepped out of the room. "They're in your living room by the way, the fourth one down the hall that takes the two right turns, and they're getting pretty impatient." She then paused, staring straight at Constantine, who stared back with a raised eyebrow.

Water dripped down his face and down onto the bed as a ball of water slapped smack dab in the face as he reopened his eyes with an unamused expression.

Dani stuck her tongue out and then disappeared down the hall.

"Well, I'm awake now at least." Constantine said, reaching over Vlad's lap to place his now empty glass onto the side table.

A loud screech cut through the noise of the mansion, and for the second time. Vlad groaned.

It was only three in the morning...

[minty364]

DPXDC Prompt #104

What if Tucker or Sam was distantly related to Constantine somehow (leaning more towards Sam since she’s into the occult) and they meet up at a family reunion or something like it. Constantine would be horrified at their aura and wondering what in the hell they got into to have a protection mark from the Ghost King. Of course he’d investigate and go to Amity Park where he’d be even more horrified.

Of course Danny’s parents figure it out when everyone was away. They weren’t happy and disowned him. With nowhere left to go Danny tries to make the best of it and crashes in Tuckers room. At least they weren’t experimenting on him but it still hurt. Then his friends are back in town along with a suspicious warlock. Danny decides to bother him since he was now homeless with nothing else to do.

[chaoswarfare]

dp x dc prompt #37

danny has been wandering around this new universe for a while now trying to figure out where the corrupted ectoplasm smell was coming from. It’s really a nice place, and when you take in all the frequent rogue attacks, it’s just like home.

he’s really just confused as to why the protectors of this world keep giving him snacks when they run into each other. i mean, free food is free food and danny’s not going to question it since he’s long since figured out he can’t be poisoned, it’s not really a problem either way. it would just be nice if they would stop babying the centuries old king just because he looks like a child.

[theofficialdailyplanet]

[pablohunie1993]

it's a responsibility for every person who's read hellblazer start to finish to warn other people not to read hellblazer start to finish