#self-validations

[tosin-talks]

Tosin Talks about invalidation and its effects

You know when you’re really upset about something and someone tells you that you’re being a little dramatic? Has that ever made you feel less upset? 

I’m guessing it probably made you want to actually be dramatic or it completely broke your heart. You weren’t trying to get them to completely understand your experience and deeply feel your emotions—that invalidation only created another dilemma for you to have to deal with. Now you’re questioning if you really are overreacting about the matter or you’re thinking that person’s just an asshole that is sabotaging you or you’re afraid that maybe there’s something fundamentally wrong with you…

Notice how fast we spiraled? That’s how impactful invalidation can be. Constant invalidation of our experiences dramatically influences the way that we tell our stories to others. The story is no longer “I was hurt and taken advantage of”, it’s “this is why I’m dramatic and don’t know how to handle anything”. Sometimes the invalidation begins during our formative years and from the very first people we met when we arrived in this world. 

What’s that label that your family gave to you that you just can’t seem to get over? Crybaby, loser, weirdo, “the fat one”, “my problem child”, “the mean one”, “the one I don’t talk about”, etc. The creation of that label significantly changed how they talk to you, speak about you to others, treat you, and perceive you. Most importantly, it changed the way that you see yourself. Now you hold back tears because you don’t want the crybaby label to stick or you hold your tongue while they say things that disrespect you because you want to get rid of the mean label. The invalidation continues when you bring up the past to them and it seems like the only person that remembers the story even vaguely is you. Then you really start believing those messages that were said about you.

Did the invalidation actually make you stop feeling sadness, out of place, alone, unheard, misunderstood, frustrated, or whatever the original emotion was? 

When I was a young child enduring trauma, I wanted to tell someone about it but when I did, I was met with, “you talk too much”, “you say the wildest things” or “you’re being a baby”. I was no longer just feeling sad, unloved, unwanted, confused…I became sad, unloved, unwanted, and thought I was legitimately going insane. It was no longer just a traumatic experience, what happened to me had found a way into my personality. 

Had I not just experienced something devastatingly difficult? Did that event not hurt my feelings or cause me some sort of pain? Even if it was a minor thing and from the outside looking in, I was being a little dramatic…I still felt that pain, and telling myself that I shouldn’t have, didn’t make the feeling go away. 

I often wonder how things would be if I was adequately validated when something happened. I wonder if I would be better at managing my emotional responses or overcoming challenges. Because instead of the situation intertwining with who I was, maybe I could fully feel my feelings, validate them, and possibly move onto actually solving the problem. 

Nonetheless, the past is the past and I am now responsible for doing my best to end that cycle of invalidation.

It can be difficult since we become accustomed to belittling our emotions and the emotions of others. You hear “you’re such a crybaby” for crying about losing something you really loved so often that it becomes easier to say the same thing to an actual child crying over losing their favorite blanket. It’s a skill that takes practice, I’m not always the best at it either. 

You’ll need to first become comfortable with acknowledging and identifying your feelings. I don’t know how else to explain this but you have to feel the emotions fully so that the emotions don’t consume you. If you feel sad, just feel sad and find a non-harmful way to express that even if it's bawling in bed or recording voice memos where you pour your heart out. Validate that emotion and the experience that brought it up. Now that emotion doesn’t feel as heavy as before and you might actually be able to combat the feeling with one that you’d prefer to feel.

We can’t change other people and their perception of us but we do have control over the way we speak about ourselves and our experiences. I challenge you to validate one feeling and experience that you have this week. And because I know you’re capable of doing difficult things, I additionally challenge you to validate someone else’s emotions and experience. Create more productive narratives about yourself and about those you care about.

Background music by Mat1k Beats

[slfcare]

ten years ago you were so scared of such different things, but you survived them anyway. the same goes for five years ago and two years ago. everything that has ever felt like a hurdle, you’ve passed through. so be afraid, identify your fears, and then allow yourself to remember that in just a little while, this will be another thing that you have overcome.

[thepeacefulgarden]

[lucabyte]

even dogs pass the mirror test

[glowettee]

✧˖° studying without suffering: how to actually enjoy learning (yes, it’s possible)

✧˖° let’s talk.

hey angels, it's mindy!

most people treat studying like a punishment. something to be endured, not enjoyed. it’s that thing you force yourself to do, like taking bitter medicine or running a mile in gym class. but what if that’s the reason you struggle with it?

the secret? you were never meant to hate learning.

somewhere along the way, school made it boring. maybe you had teachers who sucked the fun out of it. maybe you associate studying with stress, deadlines, and exhaustion. but learning is supposed to be exciting. when you actually enjoy it, everything changes. you focus longer, retain more, and (ironically) spend less time studying because your brain actually absorbs the information.

so, let’s fix it. let’s make studying something you want to do instead of something you suffer through.

✧˖° ➼ step 1: detach learning from school

(school & learning are not the same thing. stop letting school ruin your curiosity.)

the first mindset shift? realize that school does not own learning.

➼ school is about structure, deadlines, and tests. it’s designed to measure performance. ➼ learning is about curiosity, deep thinking, and exploration. it’s designed to expand your mind. and help you grow as a person.

if you’ve only ever studied because you had to, your brain associates it with pressure. break that pattern. find something outside of school that you actually like learning about. philosophy, psychology, art history, neuroscience, fashion design, whatever makes you curious.

even if it’s unrelated to your classes, it rewires your brain to see learning as an intrinsic activity, not just an obligation. once you enjoy learning in general, you can transfer that energy back into your studies.

✧˖° ➼ step 2: romanticize the process (but actually make it feel good)

("romanticizing studying" doesn’t mean just buying cute stationery. let’s go deeper.)

sensory association is everything. your brain links experiences to the way they feel physically. so if studying feels uncomfortable, you’ll avoid it. the solution? make it a luxurious experience for your senses.

✧ visuals → clean, minimalist desk, soft lighting, aesthetic study materials ✧ sound → rain sounds, classical piano, lo-fi beats (music that enhances focus) ✧ touch → cozy blankets, warm tea, smooth pens gliding over paper ✧ scent → vanilla candles, fresh coffee, the pages of an old book

this isn’t just about aesthetics. it’s neuroscience. when studying feels pleasurable, your brain stops resisting it.

✧˖° ➼ step 3: use high-dopamine study techniques

(forcing yourself to study the “normal” way is why you hate it.)

some study methods are literally designed to be boring. ditch them.

instead, try:

➼ blurting method: instead of passively reading, close your book and write down everything you remember. then check what you missed. (way more engaging than just re-reading notes.) ➼ dual-coding: mix visuals with text. draw tiny sketches next to your notes. turn concepts into mind maps. watch a video explaining a topic right after reading about it. ➼ pomodoro stacking: instead of the typical 25-minute study sprints, customize it. (ex: 50 min deep focus + 10 min break with an actual reward.) ➼ interleaving technique: mix subjects instead of block studying. it forces your brain to stay engaged.

stop making studying harder than it needs to be. find what works for you, and your brain will stop fighting it.

✧˖° ➼ step 4: make studying social (but in a smart way)

(because you’re not supposed to do this alone.)

studying alone for hours? miserable. but studying with others who are just as serious as you? instant motivation boost.

but instead of chaotic group study sessions where no one gets anything done, try:

✧ parallel studying: hop on facetime or join a study livestream. silent, focused, but together. ✧ teaching method: explain concepts to a friend. if you can teach it, you truly understand it. ✧ study accountability: check in with someone daily. send each other your study goals, no excuses.

even just knowing someone else is studying at the same time can trick your brain into feeling more engaged.

✧˖° ➼ step 5: shift your identity

("i hate studying" isn’t a personality trait. it’s a mindset problem.)

if you keep saying “i hate studying,” your brain will never enjoy it. change the narrative.

➼ instead of “i suck at studying,” try → “i’m learning how to study in a way that works for me.” ➼ instead of “i can’t focus,” try → “i’m training my brain to focus longer every day.” ➼ instead of “i don’t feel like it,” try → “i’m someone who gets things done, whether i feel like it or not.”

become the type of person who enjoys learning. once that becomes your identity, everything else follows.

✧˖° ➼ step 6: create emotional attachment to your goals

motivation dies when your goals feel distant and impersonal. if you’re studying just because you “have to,” it’s easy to procrastinate. but if you link it to something deeply personal, it becomes non-negotiable.

try this: visualize your future self. imagine the version of you who already achieved everything you want. who is she? what does she do? how does she study?

then, make it emotional. ✧ if you dream of getting into your dream school, print pictures of it. make a vision board. ✧ if you want financial freedom, imagine the luxury of never stressing over money. ✧ if you want to be respected in your field, remind yourself that your knowledge is your power.

when you make studying personal, it stops being a chore. it becomes a commitment.

✧˖° ➼ step 7: stop making everything harder than it needs to be

(struggling doesn’t mean you’re working harder. it just means you’re struggling.)

too many people study inefficiently because they think suffering = productivity. but studying smarter is always better than studying longer.

some ways to make it easier on yourself: ➼ use study apps → quizlet, pomdoro apps for focus, notion for organization ➼ summarize like you’re texting a friend → rewrite notes in your own words, no unnecessary fluff ➼ study in “levels” → don’t jump straight into deep studying. warm up with light review, then increase intensity ➼ take advantage of spaced repetition → stop cramming, your brain retains more when you review over time

efficiency = less stress, better results. don’t work harder than necessary.

✧˖° ➼ step 8: replace toxic productivity with high-performance habits

studying 10 hours in one night ≠ academic excellence. true high-achievers prioritize sustainability.

➼ quit glorifying exhaustion. taking breaks improves focus. it’s not laziness. ➼ learn when to walk away. if you’re zoning out, step away. 10 minutes of real focus > 2 hours of fake studying. ➼ protect your sleep. all-nighters don’t make you hardcore, they make you ineffective. your brain processes info while you sleep.

the goal isn’t to study the longest. it’s to study in a way that keeps your mind sharp and focused.

✧˖° ➼ step 9: master the “dopamine pull” method

instead of forcing motivation, use dopamine to your advantage.

➼ habit stacking → pair studying with something enjoyable (ex: study while drinking your favorite matcha) ➼ mini rewards → after finishing a chapter, reward yourself with something small but satisfying ➼ gamification → track progress like a video game. every completed task = a “level up”

your brain loves dopamine. give it reasons to associate studying with good feelings.

✧˖° ➼ step 10: let go of perfectionism (but keep high standards)

perfectionism leads to procrastination and burnout. instead of striving for flawless, aim for consistent excellence.

✧ done is better than perfect. stop rewriting notes 5 times. ✧ progress is the goal. each study session should move you forward, even if it’s small. ✧ your worth is not your grades. strive for success, but don’t let school define you.

when you release perfectionism, you actually start achieving more. keep your standards high, but don’t let them paralyze you.

✧˖° mindy’s personal tips

(things that helped me romanticize studying & actually make it enjoyable:)

➼ set a 5-minute timer. just start. most of the time, your brain stops resisting once you begin. ➼ don’t let study guilt ruin your breaks. rest is productive. ➼ have a “study fit.” i swear, dressing up just a little makes a difference. ➼ invest in one high-quality pen. something that glides effortlessly. small detail, huge difference. ➼ study in cafés, libraries, parks. switch locations to keep it interesting. ➼ make it ✧ cozy ✧. fuzzy socks, oversized sweaters, soft blankets. your comfort matters.

✧˖° homework: rewire your study experience

➼ for one of your study sessions this week, try at least two of the techniques above. ➼ write a short journal entry: how do you want to feel while studying? how can you make that happen? ➼ change just one thing about your study setup that makes it more enjoyable.

then come back & tell me. did studying feel better? (you can always message me or send me an ask in my inbox)

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Mike and Michael meet their younger selves..

[onionninjasstuff]

carrying each other :з

[agirlwithglam]

things confident people do, part 1

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 1) when someone compliments them, they say thank you.

WOAH mind-boggling right! they don't self depreciate themselves by going "no no im so ugly" or whatever, but they don't say something like "yeah i know." either. show your gratitude, but don't let it get to your brain.

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 2) take care of themselves.

they make sure to show themselves just as much love as they show everyone else because they know they deserve it just as much as anyone else.

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 3) they show up for themselves.

when they say something, they do it. when they want something, they work to get it. when you feel sad and hurt, you yourself should be the first person to come and support yourself.

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 4) they walk and sit with good posture

confident people know that they don't shouldn't have to make themselves invisible for anyone. it may be scary at first to be walking around looking straight instead of hunched over, but just btw u look rly lame being hunched over. stand up girl.

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 5) they take up space

because they know they are allowed to. they know they deserve it. why would they try to become smaller? for who are you doing that for? literally no one cares and it just looks pathetic. take up space honey, you're allowed to.

GIF by cherrylipssara1

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 6) you like what you see in the mirror

when i look in the mirror, no matter how i look- whether im sweating and crusty musty dusty or even all glammed up- i always love myself. why? because i know that i am not what i look like. i know i am beautiful, but that is not the only admirable thing about me!

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 7) do what scares the crap out of u!!

or basically, step outside your comfort zone. do things that the previous you wouldn't even think of doing, and do it proudly, and do it alone! (me for example, recently i did the most scariest thing ever that i was dreading the entire day and when i did oh my god i was so proud of myself!! esp since i did it alone as well!)

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 8) is not scared of being alone.

who cares? literally who cares? confident people know that no one cares. people look at you because they may be curious or just looking around, but then you don't stay in their mind all day, okay? other people couldn't care less and neither should u!

[succulentsiren]

How to Prioritize Yourself

(in other words, how to put yourself 1st)

1. Before making a decision, ask yourself, “Is this beneficial for me?”

2. Second ask yourself, “Do I want to do this? If so why?” Make sure that whatever you do is serving your best interests.

3. Always take care of your needs. Treat yourself like you would your child. Maintain your basic hygiene. Make sure you've eaten and drank water. Keep up with your skin care. Give yourself compliments and support your dreams. Be financially stable and provide security for yourself. Give yourself everything you desire.

4. Don’t rush or let others push you into doing something you don’t want to.

5. Put your standards on the pedestal. Form your own judgement about things and don’t be persuaded easily.

6. Do what you set your mind to regardless of opposition.

7. Always be in tune with what you desire and never compromise your standards.

8. Fill your own cup first. Invest in yourself.

9. Set clear boundaries and start saying no when you mean it.

10. Release all shame surrounding your self prioritization. Understand, people won’t care about your wellbeing. You have to be the one looking out for you.

11. Gate-keep yourself from those undeserving of your love and energy.

12. Don't tell all your business. Move in silence and cherish your privacy.

13. Stay self-sufficient.

14. Do the things YOU enjoy. Have your favorite cup of coffee. Eat your favorite snack. Watch your favorite show. Do tarot readings. Read occult books. Wear makeup. Dress up. Don't shrink your beliefs, lifestyle or presence just because someone else disagrees with it.

15. Ignore unsolicited advice.

16. Stop trying to prove your worth and just be. You are already enough as you are. You habe nothing further to prove.

[starcurtain]

I think this is how the conversation in the dev room went.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Why self-diagnosed autistics are valid

medical diagnosis can be expensive

humans are the experts on their own minds

family may prevent assessment

diagnosis criteria is a poor checklist of stereotypes

diagnosis criteria ignores gender, race, sexuality, culture & more

medical diagnosis confirms autism, but doesn't create it

discrimination within the medical profession may prevent diagnosis.

Assessment waiting lists often long

medical trauma may make assessment unfeasible

Neurodiverse Journeys

[slfcare]

Lately I’ve been really into being honest to people about my positive feelings towards them. I told my classmate that I’ve admired her creativity from the start and named a project of hers that I loved, and her face lit up! I took the train with a project partner the other day and told her that I always have so much fun with her, and it prompted an entire conversation about the difficulties of graduating from ‘classmates’ to ‘friends’ and both of our insecurities in this regard (and how we’re definitely getting coffee later). I express my gratitude honestly. I say what I feel if I’d be happy hearing it, myself. I remember details so that I can refer to them later. Once you realize how great you can make someone feel, all of those mundane moments become so special. It will maybe even create some lasting connections, something I think we could all use more of.

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[rafey-baby]

what would sensitive!reader do without older!rafe protecting her from the invisible monsters in their home?

18+ mdni!

c/w: mostly fluff, her being scared & rafe comforting her while also being a menace, teeny tiny bit of angst regarding their age gap, use of daddy (once)

wc: 1.7k

unfortunately won’t be watching a single scary movie this halloween cause she’s literally me but happy kinktober & spooky season xx

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She’s not exactly sure why she agreed to watch the new horror film Rafe’s friends wanted to see at a Halloween themed gathering he’d dragged her into. She wasn’t even the biggest fan of his friends, which is why she didn’t want to go in the first place.

However, when he’d mumbled a honeyed ‘it’s no fun without you ‘n don’t wanna leave my girl alone on Halloween’ into her hair, she’d reluctantly agreed; not one to refuse him of anything when he looked at her with that specific softened blue coloring his eyes.

And there was also the prospect of making him happy that finally made her melt into his wishes. 

And she wanted to like his friends, she really did. But it wasn’t exactly easy when they kept bragging about their accomplishments and how much money they had every opportunity they found in such an arrogant tone, it made her roll her eyes when they weren’t looking.   

Luckily, she could at least converse with their partners who were always fun company to sip wine with and giggle about anything and everything. And along with the warmth of Rafe’s gaze flickering over to her every once in a while, as he talked with his friends and coworkers, she was actually beginning to enjoy herself.  

Up until the point when someone suggested they watch a movie.  

“You sure you wanna watch this? S’okay if you wanna go home, could come up with somethin’ else to keep us entertained…” Rafe had murmured into her ear with his arms around her on the couch the whole group had settled down on.  

He knew how paranoid she could get; how easily she’d turn into a scaredy cat who once couldn’t sleep alone for a month after sitting through an entire scary movie in the cinema.   

And she truly doesn’t know why she didn’t just tell him she wanted to leave when the film started playing on the big screen of Topper’s television. She was going to, but when her eyes flitted over to him bringing a glass of whiskey to his lips in a carefree manner; she didn’t have the heart to ruin his fun because he seemed to be enjoying himself. After all, it wasn’t often he let himself relax due to his hectic work schedule packed with tedious meetings and whatnot.   

And on top of that, she’s already self-conscious over the age-gap between her and Rafe; sometimes gets a headache over the notion of him meeting someone more mature one dreadful day and deciding he doesn’t want to play house with her any longer.  

After all, his friends were all getting engaged left and right, while she still holds the title of being his girlfriend. And even if she isn’t sure she’d be ready for marriage quite yet, she’s still slightly upset that he’s never even so much as mentioned the matter.  

And she's not sure if it's because she's younger than him and he assumes she doesn't want a ring on her finger too soon or if he simply just doesn't want to make things too definitive with her.  

Nonetheless, it's something she's been thoroughly overthinking and mulling over recently, even if she knows it doesn't benefit her in any shape or form. Apparently, her mind just likes to always have some topic to ruminate over and obsessively worry about, or else it'll have too much free time.  

Therefore, she can admit that she didn’t want to appear as a big baby who couldn’t stomach anything even remotely scary (she really couldn’t). And was it such a crime to not want to make a scene in front of all his friends?  

That’s why she ends up meekly nodding her head and assuring him she was fine — which he didn’t entirely believe — but smiled nonetheless at the fact that she was willing to get out of her comfort zone for his sake, before pulling her closer to his side.   

However, when the white letters of the end credits finally rolled after a few gruesome and eerie hours later, she was anything but fine.  

Her weakened frame is trembling and she’s entirely too jumpy even after they’ve said their goodbyes and stepped past the threshold into the safe haven of their home.   

“Told you we should’ve just left,” he tuts when she flinches when the October wind rustles the leafy foliage outside the window.   

“Rafe, what was that?” she squeaks out when she hears another sound coming from outside — presumably their neighbor — however, there’s always the possibility of it being a serial killer simply waiting for the right moment to pounce.   

“What was what?” he huffs out a chuckle in amusement, causing her to pout.   

“This isn’t funny. I’m scared,” she whines, heart beating faster than ever along with her breathing unsteady.  

“I know you are. Shit, forgot why I don’t let you watch scary movies,” he shakes his head, padding over to the kitchen to fill up a glass of water; her feet immediately running after him.   

“Hey, hey, m’right here, yeah?” he laughs tenderly when she practically glues herself to his big and comforting arm with how tightly she’s hugging it against her chest.   

“Promise you’re not gonna leave me alone?” she blinks up at him with her pupils dilated, nervous.  

“It’s past midnight. Of course, m’not leaving, m’exhausted. Let’s get ready for bed, yeah?” he suggests calmly, managing to placate her some with his appeasing presence. Although the spine-chilling scenes still play behind her eyelids with every blink.  

She follows him to the bathroom and he tries not to laugh when she insists on staying there even while he’s peeing.   

“Want me to check under the bed for monsters?” his sickly-sweet tone is a stark contrast to the annoying smirk plastered on his face when they pad over to their bedroom after brushing their teeth.  

“Ray…I’m being serious,” she scowls.  

“So am I?” he feigns confusion with a furrow of his brows.  

Before she has the chance to complain about him being mean, he’s already crouching down on the floor and poking his head under the bed into the darkness he’s braved himself to submerge into. And she’s far too curious not to peer down as well, however, she can’t really see a thing from behind his broad shoulders.   

Suddenly, he lets out a loud gasp — making her jump back and nearly trip on her feet — before his breathy giggle follows soon after.  

“That’s not funny,” she grumbles as exasperation drags her lips downwards.  

“I’m sorry, baby. You jus’ make it so easy,” he approaches her with an apologetic expression that doesn’t come off as all that empathetic when he’s fighting off an amused grin the entire time.   

“C’mere, yeah?” he coaxes before tugging her into his strong arms; not letting go even when she tries to pull away since she’s still mad at him.   

“This one really got to you, huh?” he murmurs into her hair before beginning to soothingly rock back and forth when she finally halts her pursuits of escape.   

A faint hum is the only response she grants him.   

“Think the last time you were this scared was when we went to that haunted house with your friends last year, remember?” his warm chest rumbles in a pacifying manner in tandem with his words.   

“How could I forget,” she huffs out.   

“Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t wanna watch it? I wouldn’t have cared if we left,” he speaks softly.   

“I don’t know…just didn’t wanna seem like a baby in front of your friends,” she sniffles.   

“Since when do you care what they think? You hate them,” he argues with a lopsided smile when he releases his hold on her in order to unzip his jeans and change into something more comfortable for the night.   

“Hate is a strong word,” she defends herself as she pulls one of Rafe’s old t-shirts over her head and tries to focus on his familiar scent still lingering on the worn-out fabric instead of the imaginary monsters lurking behind the windows.   

“Is it?” he graces her with a lighthearted narrow of his eyes.   

“Fine. I don’t like them but they’re your friends, which means that I want them to like me,” she mumbles out.   

“Don’t really give a shit if they like you or not, which they obviously do. Think a little too much since you can’t help but be the sweetest angel even to the people you hate,” he grumbles out as he walks over to close the bedroom door.   

“And honestly, would much rather just stay with you than those pretentious idiots. Next time you wanna go home, just tell me. Don’t want you lyin’ to me, okay?” he says with something sincere sparkling in the lagoons of his eyes.   

“Okay,” she promises when suddenly, he switches the lights off with a click, causing her muscles to tense.   

“Ray, why would you do that?” she sounds alarmed; inhales and exhales growing labored because the bedroom is now pitch black and there could be anything hiding in the murky corners of the room since she can’t even see herself.   

“Shh, calm down. I’ll protect you, yeah?” he croons, before he’s guiding her under the covers with a big hand on the small of her back; following shortly behind her and tugging her flush against his steady chest.  

“You’re safe with me. Daddy’s not gonna let anything happen to you, alright?” his saccharine murmurs reach her racing mind and offer it momentary rest on the soft petals of his tranquil voice.   

She hums against the skin of his neck as her eyes begin to slowly adjust to the darkness surrounding them; the dingy shadows crawling along the walls appearing less and less threatening by the second when she’s in the warmth of his protective embrace.   

“Want your stuffie?” he asks, knowing her all too well.   

“Mhm,” she nods against him before he’s reaching a hand behind the pillows because somehow her stuffed animal always manages to end up in the most peculiar of places. At this point though, he already knows where to look since he’s usually the one who has to locate it for her. 

Nowadays, she doesn’t need it too often since she has Rafe volunteering to be her own personal teddy bear, but whenever he’s working past midnight, she likes to hold onto something that brings her comfort because she isn’t particularly fond of the idea of sleeping alone.  

He soon offers her the plushy lamb and she gives him a grateful smooch against his cheek along with a muffled ‘I love you’.   

And that night, he lulls her into dreamland with a warm palm resting on her tummy and his mellow breathing placating her distraught mind. 

[autiebiographical]

Whenever the topic of autism self diagnosis comes up, inevitably a comment about "what about people faking it" comes up.

1. Who are you to determine whether they're faking it or not?

2. Is it really worth gatekeeping many people because of the actions of a few?