#sexuality is made up anyways but for now i'm still bi-ace!

[a-tiny-sloth]

finally got myself 90% of the way to IDing as aroace. well, guess who just got a new crush!

[pan-magi]

My Magi LGBTQIA+ Headcanons

Ok, I've been working on this list since January. I still probably forgot some. I haven't worked out all my SnB ones yet and about half the Rens. It takes me an inordinate amount of time to sort them out. The only ones I'm really set on are the aspec ones because I'm biased (that's me, I'm AA and proud).

All that to say I may update this list or do a second part. Most likely won't be for a while since I'd want to to add a good chunk before I commit more to the wild.

Also, if you disagree, that's cool. My list though~ I love hearing other people's hcs but I am not up to arguing over mine. I know you guys are chill but to ensure we are on the same page :)

(It's a reasonably long list so all of it is under the read more)

Leila and Sahsa: You can't tell me the manga didn't start off with a lesbian love story with a little shit child playing mediator.

Judar: He very gay.

Aladdin: Genderfluid. I just like the idea of him having everyone constantly guessing as a child of chaos. They're also vying to take that title from Judar. I also can't place who the kid will be interested in but none of his friends are around the same age.

Titus: Trans gay guy.

Yunan: Doesn't really have much attachment to gender. He wouldn't really describe it as a lack of gender yet won't turn down using agender. Gender neutrois also works. Uses any pronouns.

Scheherazade: Cupiosexual. She yearns for being able to have sexual attraction but it just never has occurred for her. After a few decades she had accepted it about herself. The most common form of attraction she feels is alterous attraction (often explained as the space between romantic and platonic attraction).

Hakuryuu: He has messy chemistry with everyone. Bi disaster through and through.

Morgiana: Ace and questioning. She hasn't figured it all out yet but her friends are there to support her. (hi, yes, this is me projecting weeee)

Alibaba: Bisexual and clueless. So if you ask, he won't be able to answer but he also picked up on Sinbad's natural ability to flirt with anybody without trying too hard.

Hakuei: Lesbian

Koumei: Bisexual. I mentioned with the art I made on my own blog that I designed Koumei around the bi colors without realizing it. Nothing in my mind has changed to refute that so that's what I'm still going with. I do think it fits him.

Sphintus: Gay. I can see him being biromantic as well, but mostly into guys.

Sinbad: Pansexual and greyromantic. I won't go into it again more here. He's the best most clueless and suave person ever.

Jafar: Homoromantic demisexual. He likes guys but also without any strong connection to go off of he doesn't really register how people can be attractive.

Drakon: Omnisexual. There's attraction to guys, women, and enbies, all slightly different to each other. Preference for women.

Mystras: Also very gay.

Pisti: Aegoromantic. She gets invested in other people's (mainly her friends') love lives, and loves love stories, but whenever she tries getting into a relationship it never sits right for her. She won't mind an intimate relationship though knows it won't be romantic (after a bit of denial). After my brain came up with this I started projecting like hell and I don't give a fuck XD.

Mu: Mspec of some variety. I don't think he will be bothered by either bi or pan. Queer will work just as well. He will be down for anyone, you know? Going off queer history circles I've seen conversations and jokes that no one in Ancient Rome is monosexual. Mu feels like the person it will apply to the most. I'm going with it.

I joked to myself that the majority on Alma Toran are mspec or aspec. With longer lifespans for humans, a good handful are aspec because of the lack of incentive to have kids or families quickly. I would have posted about it last year during my Alma Toran posting in October and during ace week, but alas. I'm now posting it here lol.

Anyway, my Alma Toran hcs:

Solomon: Demisexual. Hasn't spent time thinking about it because he didn't expect to marry so young. It doesn't bother him though, not that he could explain his sexuality well.

Setta: Aroace. All ice mages are aroace because I said so. (except Judar, dude can have as many guys as he wants)

Isnan: Gay

Falan: Bi. Growing up she didn't have the chance to explore her sexuality. She won't deny it if asked though is perfectly happy in her relationship.

Ugo: Bi and aceflux.

Paimon: Also bi. She flirts too much with Ugo not to be (though I do know some lesbians and non-interested in men peeps who flirt with guys for shits and giggles without much feeling. Poison Ivy being the main lesbian I think of for this).

Arba: Non-sam aro. I tried to figure out her sexuality and I know it's not ace, but it's still too wrapped up in being aromantic. Non-sam is the closest I could figure.

Tess: Demiboy. The idea just burrowed into my head and hasn't left so I'm going with it. He is fine with he/they pronouns, yet the only people allowed to get away with calling him little boy are his parents.

That's all I got. For the moment, at least. If I try to figure everyone out I won't get around to finishing this till pride next year. If ever >>. As I said, I may update the list or post a second part.

Remember to stay chill peeps! & Happy Pride!

[whatimdoing-here]

weird personal update under cut, mostly for those who've been around awhile. i guess i can put an intro too.

honestly there are so many new followers here i'm assuming for gif reasons but... like.. sorry guys. it's a fairly rare thing. others do them better and quicker than me for the most part. my poor 7 year old laptop i make them on is a struggle. new person intro to me below, but first let me get to the part where i journal so it's off my chest.

i use tumblr as a journal of sorts. and honestly it's thanks to tumblr in general i started questioning my sexuality when i was in my mid 20s. living in a very white, conservative state - even if you live in a liberal family, that shit just gets ingrained. i was never homophobic or anything, just didn't consider anything other than straight an option. long story short, figured the bi was the best label for me at that time, definitely made me feel better, and more like myself. my partner (husband) was like yeah that's cool all good i support you let me know if you need anything from me and it's been great since.

another... long-ish story in a shorter form... i started struggling the last year or two with all of it again. just feelings and s.x feelings and whatever, a big reason of why i started therapy. basically come to the decision i land on the ace spectrum somewhere. i know much less about being asexual, and it definitely doesn't feel as "good" coming to this realization. i think i probably fall close to the demi- label. but labels and feelings are hard. and since 1) i'm pretty uneducated and 2) no one wants to hear about my sx life, i'm not going to go into things. i just wanted to throw out there that... i'm still figuring shit out. this convo with m was a lot harder, went a lot worse. then there was a better second convo. he's still supportive, it's just harder for reasons that are personal to him so i won't delve into. our relationship is okay, he doesn't want to open our marriage, and not much has changed honestly. i'm still trying to figure out my boundaries, and where my 'am i doing this because i want to or feel like i have to' lines are. it's... not fun. adding to that that if things ever came to the point where our marriage wouldn't work... that completely changes not only my life in a large way, but the kids, and m's. that is the fuckin scariest thing. sexuality discovery would be way less scary if i wasn't scared it will eventually negatively affect people in my life. i'm very much a "i will accept this thing that's not great for me and be quiet to keep the calm and happiness of those around me" in most cases. i don't like taking up space for myself. it's been a rough couple months.

anyway if i had to label i'd go with biromantic, asexual (with some ace labels i may or may not ever figure out)

getting older is a fuckin trip. you think you should know what you want and who you are but no one really knows. and life changes us and we discover more about who we are. for those newbies that are not even 20... your 20s and 30s are great. just... be prepared to shift and change and evolve and be okay with that.

anyway. new folks. i'm alex. i live in the middle of the us. i have two kids (boys, 8 and 5) that... i've been on tumblr longer than either of them have been alive. i work from home in (broadly) a data role within a corporation. i enjoy my work, its flexibility, and just data in general. give me numbers. i've been married for 14 years this june, and i'll be 34 in july.

i watch nwsl and uswnt for sports mostly. working on reading more novels again. obviously my tv obsessions are clear within minutes of looking at my blog. i talk parent stuff too sometimes, it's obviously a big part of who i am, but i'll leave their names and pics off the blog for their safety. i'll show my stupid face here though. sometimes i'll talk about seizures (i have them occasionally, unfortunately, and my brain isn't feeling great right now) and other medical stuff if it's bothering me because this place really is like a journal release for me. i hold some stuff back but yeah. i'll tag with 'personal nonsense' if you want to mute. sometimes i post and delete because i read it again later and decide no one needs to read that shit.

you're always welcome to say hi. i'm fairly harmless, but also keep walls up until i know you better.

uhhh i think that's it. mmmbye

[redheadbigshoes]

Hi! I have a legit question: Do you think someone's sexual orientation can change during their lifetime?? (And just so I'm clear, I don't mean "conversion therapy" or an “off/on switch” or anything like that!)

When I was a teenager, I thought I was bi: crushed on boys, but mostly fantasized about intimacy with girls. But years later, after a head over heels/gave me stomachaches I was so nervous/I wanted to be her everything crush on a female coworker lol, I slowly came to terms with my lesbian identity. I remember feeling lots of imposter syndrome because I didn't feel I was gay since birth like so many stories I'd heard from other gays/lesbians. Bisexuality was even more frowned upon back then, and I remember really NOT wanting to be bi. But I waited for the "other shoe to drop" on crushing on a bunch of guys which, aside from a couple "comphet crushes" (a married guy who was "nice" to me, and a male coworker who paid attention to me that all the other women in the office thought was hot) never really happened. I sure started crushing hard on women though! Lol. And after a breakup with my only boyfriend, I remember craving a relationship with a woman at the time.

Now I'm older and legit feel like I can't stand the idea of being with a man. My long term partner is a woman, but even if we ever broke up, I see myself seeking only women or other sapphics. Sure, I find a few men (mostly on TV, from a specific demographic) attractive, but I don't feel anything when I see them in the wild, even the good looking ones. I'm only questioning myself after now seeing all the updated discourse on lesbianism, and want to make sure I'm properly communicating and naming my identity.

I feel like I went from “secretly bi" to "publicly identifying as straight but suppressing my physical attraction to women” to “lesbian” without looking back. It could’ve been comphet, I’m not entirely sure. Do you think it’s possible for sexual orientation to shift like this though? I think Ricky Martin said something about genuinely having loved the women he used to date, but he stands firmly in his gay identity today.... I can somewhat relate. Anyway, thanks for your thoughts!

Hi! I think 99% of the time people’s sexuality doesn’t change, what happens is that most of the time people are bisexual but their preference can change and make them think they’re either homosexual or straight. Bisexuality can be a fluid identity, a lot of bisexuals can change their gender preferences over time, but I feel like those preferences just change, not that they actually stop being attracted to a certain gender. This also goes to aro/ace people (imo), their amount of sexual/romantic attraction might change over time but they’re still in the aspec.

Also when it comes to gays and lesbians who used to identify as bi before they figured out their identity, it’s not that they once were actually bi, they just took more time to figure out their lack of attraction to the opposite gender. This also goes to the opposite situation: someone who used to identify as gay/lesbian but later started identifying as bi. I honestly think they were always bi but they just had a heavy gender preference that made them think they weren’t.

I’ve seen some people bring up a situation where there was abuse and trauma involved and that trauma made them stop being attracted to a certain gender or made them be attracted to a certain gender. I’ve never been through anything like that, and though maybe that person’s sexuality could’ve actually changed, I think what happened is that after that trauma they suppressed their feelings towards a certain gender, and maybe those suppressed feelings made them realize their attraction to another gender (that attraction was always there but never really explored).

Idk exactly what Ricky Martin said, but maybe that love for the woman he used to date isn’t sexual and romantic, there’s other kinds of love that do not involve sexuality. Maybe he just really cares about that woman and he loves her platonically, but was never sexually and romantically attracted to her.

[ridleyytheriddler]

im suuuper bored rn and in a mood to write so! rant! yay!

first thing i wanted to rant about - my sexual orientation (:

im ace, period. i know that for a fact. at least I'm somewhere on the spectrum, maybe demisexual? but I'm not sure, I'm not really diving into microlabels.

romantic orientation is an ENTIRELY different story...

had a crush on a boy in 3rd/4th grade, back when (i thought) i was a cishet girl. liked him until like 5th grade when my feelings sort of faded away. now, i was virtual schooled through 5th and 6th so i didn't really like anyone in sixth grade but i spent a lot of time exploring queerness in general- like my nonbinary awakening happened sometime in like January/February of 2022 (though i did first label myself as a demigirl, it still falls under the enby umbrella).

i entered seventh grade as a closeted aroace enby and went through about 3/4 of the year without any major crushes (i had a platonic interest in a boy that i misinterpreted as a crush). i didn't really label my romantic attraction because i didn't need to.

however, as the end of the school year approached, i started feeling uncomfortable. i wanted to know who i was, and the only valid part of my identity had been my asexuality, since i knew that i liked a boy in the past so how could i be aro? i was drowning in a whirlpool of invalidation and not feeling queer enough.

so, i go to the first camp of the year, a writing camp, filled with TONS of queer people. i loved it there, but seeing so many people around me, sure of their identities, made me die more inside.

sooo, a couple days after i was accused of flirting with my friend (who happened to be a boy), i "discovered" i liked a girl. she was pretty, she was smart, she was blonde, she was sporty. i texted her a lot (even after camp was over). i put hearts around her contact name. but "liking" her didn't feel thrilling and it didn't feel happy. to put it simply, it felt like a fucking punishment. talking to her made me feel like i wasn't enough.

so after going through about a month of emotional turmoil and dying inside and bragging to my friends about how i liked a girl, i headed to my first sleepaway camp of the summer, a church camp, ironically enough. and THERE. THERE i fell. not in love, but probably the realest crush i'd had. there weren't really butterflies, so to speak, but if you looked at a picture with the two of us in it, you would see me gazing at her (lets call her M) with literal heart eyes. we'd started quietly chatting while our mutual friends were off doing other stuff, and ended up bonding with each other despite how the only thing we shared was our introverted-ness. and I'm not even that introverted. we're polar opposites. we still text each other almost every day, and i had hopes she liked me back, aaaaaaaaand she doesn't but. here comes part two of my rant.

my crush doesn't like me.

and i don't even feel the tiniest bit sad about it.

this is probably the most confused i've ever been. i know i like her. maybe it's because her "rejection" was so soft it didn't even feel like one. i don't know. it's complicated, but my best friend had been cheering me on to tell her, so i did. and i was honestly divided as to whether she liked me or not- at times she acted like she did but other times she didn't. honestly, i think I'm just hopeful that she likes me

anyway thats not the point-

so. after writing this THERAPUTIC post, i have discovered that:

i am aroace and proud 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

im nonbinary (and proud, but I've known that for a while)

I'm confused

but I'm 100% queer. whether I'm lesbian or straight or bi or something, i am queer! and I'm tired of feeling invalidated by being compared to the people out there who are out and proud with all their labels. i don't need to be exactly like them to be queer and be myself.

to put it poetically, "our friendship is worth more than being in any relationship." I'm going to write a poem about that now. good night yall <3 or even good morning/afternoon.

[sigynsilica]

Something I mentioned to my sister earlier that I have now been able to more thoroughly think through.

You know how the vast majority of media feels the need to generate some form of romantic subplot? To the extent that many romantic subplots are forced and don't fit into the themes or nature of the story? But the media creators feel obligated to put it in anyway?

I have a theory that this is why the representation of Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual experiences are so much more represented than Trans, NonBinary, or Asexual – especially Aroace – experiences.

Sidenote: I'm obviously not saying LGB characters are overrepresented, I'm addressing the Trans, Enby, and Ace characters being criminally underrepresented.

I can think of only five or six trans characters in media off the top of my head. Maybe three nonbinary characters, and in media that I have seen? Only one canonical aroace character. (That's Lilith Clawthorne, btw)

The theory states that since lesbian, gay, and bisexual identities all have to do with romance and who a person could potentially be paired up with and shipped with, it's far easier for their identities to be represented in media, due to that incessant need for romantic subplot. But since being trans and nonbinary have nothing at all to do with who a person can canonically be shipped with, and being Aroace excludes the possibility of a ship in the first place, they're not as commonly represented. They don't already neatly fit into the generated world and storyline of what would be considered a popular story.

A few weeks ago, I was storyboarding with my younger brother (no hate to him, he's still learning), and I mentioned that one of the characters in the story was a trans woman. He asked me why I had made that decision, saying your typical stuff about how it didn't add anything to the story, and it would be forced diversity. I countered him with this: name one character in media that is canonically trans.

He couldn't. He'd never even heard of one. Part of that is because our parents shelter him in the same way they sheltered me, but it's also because there aren't very many. So how can this be forced diversity when in the real world, people are trans, yet in fictional worlds, people very, very rarely are?

The more I think about it, though, the more I begin to question if he might be on to something.

There are a lot of stories where a character's sexuality is integral to the plot, and a character being gay or bi actually does drive the story. We have coming out stories all over the place, stories exclusively about the gay experience. But if we have any stories exclusively about the trans experience, I've yet to see or hear of them.

I'm currently working on a story that is about the trans experience, specifically finding confidence and making space for yourself in the world as a trans person. When I first got the idea for the story, I was concerned it would come across heavy-handed, or people would call it propaganda. But to be honest, I don't care. I want there to be more of this kind of book in the world, so I'm making one.

And to any cis ally authors, or allosexual allies out there who want to write trans or ace characters: Do it. Please. If you're afraid of getting something wrong or playing too hard into stereotypes or making "bad representation", you're probably right. I'm afraid of that, and I am trans. That doesn't mean it isn't worth it. Every character is worthy of critique, and the way you get to a point where we have lots of good representation in the world is by having a lot of bad representation first.

Do your research. Talk to real people who identify with the label you've bestowed on your character, and listen to what they have to say. And when it comes down to it, you have more wiggle room in your characterization than you might think. There's a million different valid ways to be trans and ace, so unless you're being actively offensive, you're probably good.

Please write us. Our stories are important.

[sixstepsaway]

Great post about purity culture in fandom! If you don't mind me adding on, I think another major contributor is Baby's First Literary Criticism. It as been common online to see people critiquing media through queer, feminist, etc. perspectives, and a push for diversity and positive representation of marginalized groups. Problem is, they use that purity culture framing instead of viewing these issues at the complicated, nuanced matters they are. It doesn't allow room for a particular piece of media to be good in one way or lacking in another. It doesn't take into account that one person from a marginalized group's real experience is another's tired trope. If you try hard enough you can make everything problematic. For example, is it reasonable to argue that Ed is a problematic stereotype of as moc because he is a violent pirate? Well, it's a pirate show about pirates. Lucius might be considered the 'gay best friend' for constantly giving advice, but does that really count when all his friends are also gay? And this stuff is so nuanced it's easy to pick and choose what argument is affective against your least favorite show/character/ship/etc. Voila, now everyone who likes, uh, Blackhands is a racist, homophobic, misogynistic abuse apologist. -dd anon

Oh you are absolutely right and you should say it.

I saw someone saying how nice it is to have OFMD because until OFMD the only queer shows we had were things like Queer as Folk and they said how Queer as Folk was bad rep and cringe and bad

and I wanted to scream because Queer as Folk is not bad rep! QaF was representative of a lot of gay communities. Queer people didn't have marriage equality and couldn't adopt, so they didn't ride the heterosexual relationship escalator instinctively, and so their lives ended up looking entirely different. Club culture and promiscuity was a big part of queer culture even as recently as 2005 (and I would argue it still is) and a lot of that is to do with the conversations that go on at those places about consent or just because going to a gay club you are surrounded by other queer people, instead of having to hope and pray someone is like you at a coffee shop.

Good rep vs bad rep is a reductive argument, in my eyes. The issue is quantity rather than quality, which I realize is backwards to how it usually is, but... in a show like OFMD, where you have [frantic finger counting] I'm willing to say fourteen main characters all of which are stated word of god to be queer in some way? One of them bodying the trope of 'gay best friend' doesn't actually matter

because he's just one among many. I'm-- Okay, my labels are many because my brain is a mess, but to boil it down to something simple I'm a bi ace agender/maybe genderfluid person (idk i havent dug enough into my gender stuff yet i've been putting it off like a knitting project), and I do not fucking care about the discourse around Toni Topaz or Jughead Jones

let me explain: in Riverdale there are two characters I just mentioned. Toni Topaz is bisexual and Jughead Jones in the original comics was asexual but has been in sexual and romantic relationships in the TV show.

Lots of people yell that Jughead isn't rep and he could've been, how upset they are he wasn't made ace like the comics, etc etc

I don't because I am an ace person who has had sex and relationships and plans to do so in the future

so Jughead boning Betty in s1 does not bad ace rep make. He's never looked at Betty or whoever and gone (as far as I know, I'm behind on the show), "Man, I am so cishet. I am so sexually attracted to you in an allosexual manner." though I wouldn't put it past the writers to have him say something like that lmao

so maybe he isn't sexually attracted to her but enjoys sex with her anyway. Maybe he isn't romantically attracted to her but loves her anyway (though asexual =/= aromantic but that's beside the point)

and Toni Topaz has been criticized for being a "slutty bisexual stereotype" or whatever, but... she's fine? She's just... a person living her life? She fucks Jughead, she fucks her girlfriend, she fucks... idk, I think she has a boyfriend now I'M BEHIND OKAY

to me that isn't bad rep it's just... a character. Potentially not a well-written character because Riverdale (again, I am behind, maybe it's not as bad as I imagine) but still just... a character

When the 100 killed off Lexa, the issue wasn't that they killed A Lesbian, the issue was they killed the only lesbian, thus taking away 100% of the lesbians from that show at the time (though I think Niylah became a main character later? I don't know. She was just a one or two-off at the time iirc). plus the writer was a toxic piece of shit about lexa and wielded her as a way of getting his follower count up on twitter and then killed her off but that too is beside the point

We don't need good rep or to delete all bad rep from the universe. We need more rep, period. We need more lesbians and more gays and more bis and more queers and more people of color and so on. We need shows with diverse casts to be so common we don't have a metric fucktonne of people looking at OFMD and hoping for Perfect Rep because it's all they're getting.

Queer as Folk's characters felt real. They felt like real people. Brian's fear of getting old (I had the realization the other day that he was, in fact, 29, and I nearly cried), Mikey's fear of being alone, Ben's fear of bringing Mikey down with him, Justin's fear of never being loved, etc etc. None of them were good or bad rep, they just were, much like the characters in OFMD.

Assuming the party line of 'Izzy is a homophobic homosexual', are (general) you telling me you've never met a homophobic homosexual in your life? Bet you have. Lots of us have. Izzy isn't good or bad rep, he's just a guy, and a guy who could easily exist in real life, flaws and warts and all. Violent men of color exist just as much as cute lute-playing men of color do.

Good rep is not a goal we will ever achieve because the goalposts will always change. The quantity of rep, the variety of characters of color, the variety of queer characters, the variety of queer characters of color are what matters the most.

We need more rep, not to be cherrypicking and pruning the rep that looks a little ugly on the outside to some people.

Real people look ugly on the outside to some people, too.

[starsarefire824]

Heeey moot! Just woke up! Even though I'm late, I just wanted to say that you deserve to write whatever tf you want and I'm sorry some peeps were harassing you about The Pact. I don't think folks know how hard it is to not only write, but then to post it for others to see. So, for them to criticize you when it's just a fun fic that they can ignore or filter out (tags on ao3 are meant to be used geez) its wild to me. You're doing something very unique with the characters and including a lot of different subgroups of the queer community splendidly while keeping them flawed like real teens - all in 1 fic. As a demi ace myself, I was so happy to see you incorporate that in your fic respectively and a lot of my queer Sex Ed came from detailed, researched fics bc even though my parents and school system talked to me about sex, there was nothing for the queer kids, let alone ace kids to get guidance on. So, for fic readers/writers like me, using fics to explore sexuality was a godsend.

Can't help but also think it's the biphobia kicking in again, specifically for characters like Mike. No one has a problem hc Max as bi even though it seems like lumax is clearly endgame over elmax or elumax, but when it comes to Mike being bi it's like the world is ending despite it clearly being byler endgame. I personally ship all hcs of Mike's sexuality cuz only Robin and Will have been confirmed queer. Everyone else in ST to me is undisclosed until stated straight or queer. But again that's me.

Also love your poly rep cuz my sib is poly and so were some of my grandma's cousins from 1950s-now. So, again, all or most sexualities explored in fics is a must, regardless if you ship it. I've always been a polypartycule shipper and enjoy how you include all party members and mention Duzie sometimes cuz too many times I found fics/hcs excluding the fact Dustin has a stable relationship with Suzie in favor of just highlighting byler and elumax as the romantic ones of the party.

Sorry for the rant but I had to let it out. I hated scrolling through my feed and seeing that post you made of folks getting heated over fiction like you're gonna convince the Duffers to change the whole script. Anyways I hope my support is felt. This is still me typing in a sleep daze and yeah. I'll continue reading your work cuz I enjoy good writers first and foremost and omg lol you made it having some harrassers cuz the greatest books were on the banned book list. Not saying you deserve the irrational hate, but that's how I'm framing it - this is giving "banned book energy" just cuz The Pact is exploring romantic madwheeler when no one cares about byclair or henderhop or henclair (despite folks labeling El as a lesbian). Anyways, you do you moot be blessed out here

Hello deer moot!!!! <33

Thanks so much for the positive vibes!!! I truly appreciate it. I guess I was just feeling a little let down that a select few people made it so far into a fic and then were angry about the way things were going and/or felt the need for me to tell them the ending. At first it didn't bother me, but after answering the same questions 1,000 times and trying to sort of reassure everyone it got to a point of being exhausting! I want to talk about the fic, but I don't really want to have to defend my writing/story/ship choices every chapter. It's kind of exhausting and was bringing me down a little bit. But anyway, enough about that.

I am SO GLAD that you are like...really vibing with some of the choices in that story? Especially with your unique pov being demi ace and having poly family. I think that fanfiction can be a very important tool for a lot of teen when it comes to exploring sex, especially if it's not a cis het-normative type or even just....dealing with sex from a young person's pov and all of the obstacles that everyone faces in that regard. Also, I think it can just open up a conversation or make a person think about things that maybe they might not of before etc etc. Or! They can just enjoy those scenes for the writing/good time. I'm here for all of it.

I'm not sure if it's a biphobia thing? It honestly hadn't occurred to me, but you may possibly be right. I know a lot of people headcanon Mike as gay, which I fully support. I wouldn't be surprised if that is the case. I think if Byler happens in canon, he'll be unlabeled. BUT I do like to write Mike as bi, I personally think that there were feelings for El at some point. I personally headcanon him as a bi-romantic, and sexually leaning towards men. But that's just me....

But anyway, as that pertains to madwheeler, I also really enjoy the bi for bi Max and Mike dynamic, specifically because it's fun to write, and secondly it's another thing to add to their already similar personalities. And yea. I agree... unless a character's sexuality is specifically stated like El and Will's, there is room for exploration for most characters and that's what fanfic and art is for.

I do think there is this strange thought process regarding bi characters, that if they have a relationship with a person of the opposite sex it's like they're not "queer enough" for other people. Like it's somehow lesser than if Mike has a relationship with a woman, even though he already, in canon, is well, with a woman. And that people tend to forget that people are still bi, still queer, even if they are in the most outwardly straight presenting relationship, cause let's face it....you can't really help who you're attracted to and who you fall in love with. it just is.

And when it comes to the madwheeler in this fic, I am fully aware it is one of the least popular ships out there, but again, that is one of the reasons I wanted to explore it. And a a bi, poly person my self it was really interesting putting these characters in a dynamic where they were both involved with people of differing genders and orientations. It gives you a lot to work with when it comes to having things to write about! シ

And as you said, it also allows for some messy, realistic teenage angst! Which I am always a fan of! ;)

Anyway, thank you for the rant. I appreciate it so much, and am honestly still blown away by the positive responses to this story. Even if it's not everyone's cup of tea!

[auxiliarydetective]

For the LGBT asks: 5 6 10 14 31 🏳‍🌈👀

(I know one of those question is not really about queer stuff but I really like animals)

<3

Thanks so much for the ask!

5. How long have you been using your current labels?

I've known I'm ace since 6th grade and that stayed the same since then. Bi? Maybe a little under a year. At least when we’re talking about being really secure in using it. The demigirl label is very new, I think I've been using that since October maybe. Before that, everything was a questioning mess.

6. What made you realize your current labels fit you?

I always knew I had absolutely no clue what sexual attraction was like when I was a kid. By now, I understand it, but I still don't feel it. So: Asexual. When it comes to romantic orientation, I was aware I wasn't just into boys at around the same time I realized I wasn't into sex, but it took a long time before I changed from pan to bi. The reason for that may have been simply an aesthetic choice. I feel like it sounds better, suits me better and the flag is prettier. Demigirl is a whole different story. Basically, it took me understanding and coming to terms with my neurodivergency to really think about gender. Before that, I identified as cis, because I didn't want to seem like a special snowflake. After all, I like traditionally feminine things and do feel very feminine. But I don’t feel like a woman. I feel like a girl, yes, but not like a standard girl. Something about my gender always felt different. So I tested out the demigirl label and it finally felt right!

10. When did you realize you weren’t cishet?

In 6th grade. My best friend at the time was very active in online lgbtq+ spaces and talked to me a lot about it. One day, she asked me out and I accepted, thinking I liked her back. So I had to be pan, I thought, because she was agender. Looking back at it, I was too young to understand what I really felt and she broke up with me again a while later because she realized I wasn't in love with her. She labeled me as ace and she was right. What may have been the worst start imaginable did however open my eyes going into the future. As I said, I still identify as ace, even with knowing that other labels on that spectrum exist. Also, it caused me to realize the possibility of me being not straight and I'm super glad I asked my parents about their thoughts on me not being straight back then when they stakes were still super low. By now, I know I'm a biromantic mess every time I walk into the cafeteria and look around while waiting in the queue and that would not be possible had it not been for those experiences in 6th grade.

14. Favorite animals

Seagulls (I love those sassy sons of bitches, can't wait to see them again this summer), cats, seals and foxes, definitely. Also still have a soft spot for the pony I was riding back when I was taking riding lessons.

31. A trope about your identity that applies to you?

I've got the bisexual wolfcut. Also the way I dress sometimes screams bisexual and I'm very proud of that. (Even though I'm not bisexual, I'm ace biromantic, but still.) Also that asexuals are immature. Yeah, I can be a bit immature sometimes. I have a suspicion that that's me going into a little space

Anyways, hope you enjoyed this little novel! 🏳️‍🌈💕

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Hazbin Hotel Theory: Does Rosie Know About The Other Ace Types...? Part 1

[Note: Hazbin Hotel Season 1 Spoilers, and this post is for Mature Audience Readers Only, so Not for kids that are under 18 and 16...also reading this theory is optional, but this is still for mature audience only. but kids still ain't allowed to read it. only those who are the proper ages can, who's parents doesn't scapegoat mature content.]

yeah, I wanted to post one more thing before I log off...

and it having to do with a theory, about if Rosie knows about the Other types of Aces, and yeah she knows that Alastor is a "Ace In The Hole"...and how Alastor acts when after she says that, is just too adorkable for words...

don't know how many even viewed that moment of Alastor's response to being called a "Ace In The Hole" by Rosie, as Adorkable.

there can be different types of Aces, and yeah while some can be Aromantic, there can be some who are Aroflux and maybe a bit Gray-Aroaceflux that as a added romantic identity.

like if Rosie were to meet some new sinners, two girlfriends who ended up dying together and they are wearing different buttons that represents their sexuality, asexuality and romantic identities.

and one of the girlfriends, has a Sapphic button.

while the other has what appears to be a Ace button, but it has a small heart in the middle with the colors for Bi, which can mean that the girlfriend is Biromantic-Ace.

I'm not sure if Rosie knows all the different types of Aces who will not only be Aromantic, but also have some who can be Bioromantic, Panromantic, and well there is Demi.

like some can be both Demisexual and Biromantic, and I'm not 100% sure if Charlie is a type of Ace or not...I mean maybe it could be possible she might be Biromantic/Demisexual, I'm not 100% sure.

we know that she is suppose to be Bisexual, but with how Vaggie went from Lesbian to Sapphic, and it seem that someone once, I don't know who, had changed it back to Lesbian in Vaggie's Bio, and it was changed back to Queer (Sapphic)...

my guess is that it could of been just one of the fans of the show, who could of changed it back to Lesbian, and it had to be someone else who knew the change, who had to fix it.

I'm not sure if it will be confirmed that Charlie is Biromantic & Demisexual, plus I could be wrong and she could only be Bisexual.

there are different types of sexuality and romantic identities.

and not all of them will be the same, and some can be more of a tri-identity I guess, which could mean they could have more than one romantic identity...

if Rosie had learned about Aces and even knows that Alastor is a Ace in the hole, there could still be some types she has yet to learn about.

one of them being that some Aces, do have boyfriends, girlfriends and or partners, and they can do certain 18+ stuff with their significant other.

what some do get wrong about some Aces, is that they think all Aces stay Virgins, I mean being a Virgin doesn't really have to do with our sexuality or asexuality or romantic identity.

my Semi-Androphobia is separate from my being Gray-Aroaceflux/Fictoromantic...

and I think one of the reasons I had that panic attack in the car in 2015, might of been because of a Semi-Androphobia and the thoughts and fears...some of which, I'm not gonna get into right now in this post.

I also want to say, that I'm going to break this theory into two parts.

because I well, at first hadn't plan to talk about this at first and was going to log off before this theory pop into my head.

and well, I can't help but wonder if Rosie knows about the other different types of Aces with different romantic identities.

Alastor still seemed to be really Adorkable after Rosie said he was a ace in the hole, not sure how many will have the same view though.

anyway when I'm able to, I will make part 2 of this.

also when I'm able to, I can talk about that weird Eggman poll I had made before, I know I had checked out before about who got the most votes before when I wasn't log on...

some of them were a bit surprising, and if I remember right, it was Eggman from Sonic Boom that got the most votes.

but I can worry about talking about that poll later...which had to do with who thinks which version of Eggman is the most attractive.

right now, I'm just going to log off and maybe I'll go lay down and go to sleep, and wait until later to watch some episodes of some of my favorite shows and even watch a movie as well...

I might not make part 2 of this theory right away, but I will try to get around to it when I'm able to. cause Rosie knowing or not knowing about the other types of Aces, had got me curious.

[hekateisconfused]

Dude shut the fuck up about things changing so their "pReVeNtInG yOuR dEsIrEs" you fucking aroacephobic cunt. Bet you're just another cis transphobe homophobe racist with a karen personality. How do you live with yourself? you're such a brat no wonder you have no followers it's because no one likes you and you don't deserve to have things the way you want, whore. Go kys and do the world a favor, do something good for once fuck I hate cis people

... hah?

I- clearly you've never been here before. I'm willing to bet your a mutual that knows I find the "Lex AU Dib being aroace" thing wack as hell, but I mean- cmon dude. You could've atleast done some research on who I am and what I do before writing this. I have tons of gay, trans, and adding more poc characters. I myself am bi/pan, and I have a trans husband. Cmon dude. Is this really because I'm cis or what? Guess who's the phobe now? I'm continuing that "it's probably 100% a mutual" under cut, because for some dumb reason I feel safer under cut because not everyone looks there

Ight, cmon, calling mean aroacephobe, I have aroace, ace, and demisexual characters. Your only "attempt" of proving I'm aroacephobic is because I think the current status on Lex AU Dib's sexuality is clearly fake and a poor excuse for simping reasons. Take a hot sec to look at this all from my pov: this character you really have the hots for, who was originally bi, becomes gay. Then, when you create a more confident version of yourself and a feeling for a satisfying freedom of being able to simp with no shame, he suddenly, an insanely fucking horny ass bitch, becomes aroace.

This type of stuff just doesn't happen randomly or ironically. And if anything, thinking "it wasn't meant to affect away from me" is a gamble of the mind. You try to act calm when you have the ability to control a character and something is going wrong. When the situations go out of hand, you have the idea of changing a detail of the character to fix the situation, but you TRY to not act on it. Eventually, it slips through the cracks and happens anyway. You tried controlling it from happening, and you tell yourself "it wasn't my intention", that the fact this idea that would prevent the problem from continuing just rolled in development and it happened anyway despite the fact you were actually in control the whole time and hit the panic button, making it official, while you still tell yourself that it wasn't your intention. It's a toxic mind game. Neither people in the situation could really control it, yet somewhere someone will find a angered spark of realization. Whether they say it out loud or not, that's controlled. That, you actually have the power of saying how "this doesn't happen accidentally", how you know the mind game that played into this whole scenario in the first place. I would know, I've been both the "official changer" and the "one to cause the change".

And it's not like it even makes any sense! He is still CLEARLY horny. Dude can still barely keep his dick in his pants. Hell, I've seen newer fucking shit on him, he's still a horny fuck! Yknow, not what aroace is. The reason I've been so pissed at the word "infatuation"? This. "Infatuation isn't love", guess I've never felt love before then, huh? From a bpd yandere standpoint it's just illogical, trying to make that excuse to a irl idealizing yandere, who knows the real life feeling of the jealousy "I would do literally anything for you" mindset, it just makes no sense. This is indeed the type of stuff I would keep to myself, but this kinda changes it. If you think I'm "aroacephobic", how about you analyze every detail that's led to this point? I swear, if this is a mutual I really will lose my shit. You mutuals think you know Bug best. Yea, you guys get more info shit, and communicated more than me, but let's not forget who's Bug's wife and knows them irl, me. Learn your place.

For real, this is some new grade bull. If you see anything made out of spite, it'll probably 100% be selfship stuff, because suck it, after all of this I really do feel like I deserve something good from all of this. That and mutuals head's on a stick.

[babygirlyusuf]

hi, I've been following you for a minute and I feel like I can't really say this to anyone in my life right now and u seem incredibly sweet and friendly so I'm taking a shot in the dark and dumping this mess in your anon, so I'm very sorry in advance... but I was wondering if u could give me some advice, namely, how did u know that you're bi? like... in theory. I'm 22 and always assumed I was pretty much straight, like only into guys, and then I met someone, who is actually a they, but is also definitely not a guy, who I just had this insane connection with, like never felt that before but didn't know what it meant, and it scared me so i kinda shoved it under the rug, and then I found out from our mutual friend that they had been telling her that they were really into me after meeting me. and that, like, TErrified me and made me so confused, I had like a complete freak out for two days and then just very forcibly stowed it, until recently I found out I was gonna see them again, and now i.... literally cannot stop thinking about them. at all hours of the day. in a very relationshippy way. and once in a not so pure way. and I'm having a bit of a meltdown and I don't know what any of this means and it's all???? in theory and in my head??? so I don't even know if it's real or if it's just my lonely, hyper romantic ass making shit up and like fixating on the fact that they like me, (which sounds dumb but seriously I can fantasise and obsess over just about anything, and sometimes I think I get so caught up in being liked by someone that I kind of create false reciprocation so like..) and I'm seeing this person again soon and I just. don't know. and don't want to fuck anything up because I don't know what im feeling or what this means. and im scared because I think I'm still ashamed of it, deep down, like being queer in any way has always been something I've completely supported but also in a "that's cool for everyone else, but I can't be like that, obviously" way, and I don't know why, and I don't even know if this is real, and I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it which I why I am here, so anyway. any and all advice you feel like giving would be so, so appreciated, bc I am losing my mind a little if you can't tell hahaha

thanks for reading, I am very sorry for dumping this in your inbox <3

hi!! 💌💌 no apologies necessary!! i’m so happy u felt like u could come to my inbox, and i’m going to to do my absolute best to answer all ur questions and i hope that i’m helpful. i have no expert advice bc we’re the same age haha but i’m going to tell u what i would tell a friend going thru the same thing <3

i empathize so much with what you’re going through. for me, i actually only fully accepted that im bi a couple years ago, but i first started thinking about it when i was 14— (always been attracted to men, but suddenly found myself thinking abt what it would be like to be with someone of another gender)— all those years in between, i was incredibly confused and upset because i convinced myself i was just making things up. i think it’s because i also felt that being bi was a label that HAD to look a certain way, and also that i needed a label at all. (both of those things are deeply deeply untrue). i never had any romantic feelings for anyone who wasn’t a man in my real life until very recently — i’d only felt like sexual attraction or romantic attraction at a very low level for ppl i knew personally. this scared me so much bc i thought that i wasn’t doing bisexuality correctly. that’s so incorrect though. it’s not a test to ace or a game to win, and there are no right answers.

it’s a confusing and stressful thing, but i think u should treat yourself really gently here <33 i wish someone had said that to me! you’re having romantic feelings for someone right now— give yourself the space to explore what the person means to u, and take defining/labelling yourself as an afterthought. which isn’t easy, but just remember that you are still you no matter what comes out of this!!

you mentioned feeling like being queer was for everybody else- oh my god i understand that sentiment SO deeply, beloved. i thought the same for so many years, and i STILL think abt it sometimes but!!!! it’s absolutely not!!!!!!!! it doesn’t mean one thing and there’s no right way to go about it. take a label if that’s helpful to you, and if it’s not, don’t!! there are no rules.

i think you should get to know this person, and take things slowly and be open with them and yourself <33 whatever this relationship becomes, it sounds like you have an instant strong connection to them and that’s rare and special!! that feeling of shame can be hard to work thru, i know i KNOW, but u deserve all the things that feeling is telling you you can’t have <3

i hope that was any help, and i want u to know my dms are always open to you if you’d like to chat through this more or come back to my askbox if that’s more comfortable!!!

take care of yourself and treat yourself kindly and know that you have a friend who understands!! 💌

[ithebookhoarder]

Hi so I just read your coming out to the Avengers as bi fic and IT WAS AMAZING

So I was wondering if you could write something along the lines of dating Maria now but coming out to her as asexual. That would be amazing, if not no worries.

Coming out as Asexual (Maria Hill x Reader)

A/N: Ok. So. I am sooooooo sorry for how long this ask has been sitting in my inbox, but as it's Ace Week, it seemed an apt time to write it! I'm also honoured you asked. Sending love to my Ace pals and peoples.

Thanks so much for your comments - you're so sweet @nyx-aira. Hope you like it.

Masterlist:

----

Now, first off, considering the crazy things Maria has had to deal with in her time at SHIELD, your coming out to her as Asexual is not a big deal.

Well, it’s a big deal to her in that you obviously feel comfortable enough around her to tell her something so personal.

That’s huge and makes her heart go all fluttery.

But a big deal that causes her to have a melt down and possibly an hour of shooting things? This is not that kind.

After all, alien invaders? Big deal. Dancing, sentient, alien trees? Big deal. Fury without coffee before a meeting with the Avengers? Big deal.

They’re all things Maria doesn’t immediately know how to handle, but you? Your relationship? Nothing in her eyes has changed.

She loves you. She respects you. She understands you.

This is just another part of who you are, and that means Maria accepts it with a mere nod, hum, and possibly a couple quick questions for clarification.

As she teases, she’s an agent and works best with as much intelligence as possible. Or as much as you’re willing to share.

And anything else? Well, she’s happy to do some of her own intelligence gathering too if it will make you feel comfortable and happy.

Apparently SHIELD has some weird databases that she can find her way into …

Why? Well, because you make her feel those things. Happy. Comfortable. Safe.

That’s why she loves you so much.

You also put up with her crazy schedules with barely a moan, which makes you a saint.

You’re also the first to nag her to remember to pack a toothbrush and sunscreen whenever she has to rush off somewhere for a mission.

“But it’s Siberia?”

“There’s sun in Siberia, dumb ass. Snow reflects it more intensely - You’ll still burn if you’re not careful!”

“I’m always careful!”

“Says the idiot who almost walked into a door this morning!”

Maria refrains from pointing out you’d distracted her and almost caused said incident, but anyway…

Once you’ve also told her, she then follows it up with a reassurance that she’ll love you no matter what, and definitely no matter what level of physical intimacy you’re comfortable with.

If holding hands is your limit, that’s cool. If you like cuddling, kissing, or maybe other activities then she can accommodate that too.

To be honest, Maria herself is not the most affectionate of people. Not in public anyway. So, she gets it. Boundaries are important.

(Most people at work don’t even think they’ve seen her smile… there’s just some rumours amongst the more senior agents that it’s even possible)

That makes you very giddy, knowing you’re the only one to see her like that at all.

Even then, when it’s the two of you she seems more keen on holding hands or pressing kisses against your head or cheek, than trying to undress you.

It might take a bit of communication and adjustment but at the end of the day you’re both willing to put the effort in.

Maria would also be quick to shut down any comments or jokes by the others that made you uncomfortable (mostly from Tony, but that’s just his nature. He’s not trying to be mean - 90% of his jokes are somehow sexual)

Your relationship is private and she’ll keep it that way.

But if you are comfortable telling people? Then hell, she’ll support that too.

She’ll also threaten to shoot anyone who even thinks about making comments about asexuality not being a thing.

“It’s LGBTQIA+, asshole. Yeah. That’s right. A for Asexual, not assholes like you.”

Long story short, you coming out is probably one of the best things to happen to your relationship - but getting to see Maria wearing an Asexual pride flag at Pride is just a very good benefit.

[of-the-eventide]

I'm still foaming at the mouth about Estinien being ace so everyone gets to hear about it.

Head cannons under the cut cause wow... this turned out long.

Ok so I mostly head cannon him as a sex-repulsed ace but really, anything works

Anyway, lore

Back during his shepherd days, he had a few crushes

Sure, they were very far in between considering he was just a kid but also because his home village was pretty small

Besides his brother took up most of his time

After joining the military in hopes of becoming a dragoon well...

There wasn’t much thought other than getting though the training and getting revenge

He wasn’t a stranger to beauty though

I would say it was around this time that he figured out he was bi since he found beauty in women and also men

He even thought Aymeric was quite beautiful but he definitely wouldn’t act on that cause why lose his only friend?

However, even if he thought someone was beautiful he would never think about sleeping with them

Didn’t even cross his mind

He wasn’t an idiot and didn’t know what the birds and the bees were either, he was in the military, plenty of ruckus coming from tents late at night that he would get the hint which ones to sleep near and which to steer away from

He just never had the urge or the want to do it

If anything it made him grimace even thinking about himself in those type of situations

Flirting made him nervous, thinking of that was something else

Now, as I said, he didn’t give much thought on all of this anyway, more focused on getting the power to kill Nidhogg

It was probably around the time he was traveling around the east did he really figure out that he had absolutely no interest in sex

When he was traveling and was done hunting down the eyes of Nidhogg did he really sit himself down and think about what he wants in life

He was thinking maybe picking up being a shepherd again since the life of a solider was something he knew he wouldn't be able to do forever

Even entertained the thought of helping Aymeric in the house of lords should he ask

But he does know for a fact that he doesn’t want to fight forever

Then the topic of partners came up in his head

He knows that he does want a partner eventually, especially now that he is in a much better space to spend time on a connection with someone else

Though... would he ever want to be physical with that person?

He doesn’t think about sex right away of course since the boy got emotional problem up to his elbows so the thought of like a simple hug is what got him flustered at first

Then after a while did it come to the topic of sex

And man... he was not interested in that still

He thought at first it was because that is a very exposing state to be in with someone so maybe eventually he would be able to just he wasn’t emotionally ready for the idea now

But then more thought was put into it

And more

And a little bit more

And still he never wanted to have sex with anyone

It was all a bit confusing, he really didn’t know what to think about it for a while

Then Ito was a thing

It took him (and her) to really figure out where his feelings where for her

And when they both figured it out and started a relationship, they took it slow

Like really slow

This isn’t Ito’s first relationship and might not be Estinien’s but they both have been long out of the game and don’t really know what to do

I mean, wow, holding hands was a big deal

Then (much) later things became more comfortable and they were able to do things much more comfortably like hugging, kissing, sharing a bed, the works

It was when Ito was making a move to more heated territory late one night did Estinien finally figure out he was ace

Ito could tell right away that he wasn’t comfortable, stopped, and then proced to ask him if he was all right and if they should leave

They had a very long conversation that night and finally it was Ito that brought up the word ace

They were more comfortable in their sexuality of being a grayace, have been for a long time, so they knew what was up

After what Ito told him, he went looking into it

And bam, he finally knew why he never thought much on it

So there we have it! Please add on to it if ya want or change it around for your story, I’m always a sucker for seeing ace characters!

[disaster-j]

book recommendations?? 👉👈

Yessssss I have so many! You didn't specify any genre/interests but since you're here asking me I'm gonna have to assume you're all about that queer rep like myself so here's some books that I am either currently reading, looking forward to reading in the future, or have read at some point in the last year or two and loved!

Currently Reading

1. One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston

I've just started reading this and let me tell you it is AMAZING. Some highlights are- majorly queer and/or poc cast of characters, wlw main characters, time travel shenanigans, a magical diner, a very loveable dog and a "twink with multitudes."

Haven't even gotten halfway through yet but I already know it's gonna be one of my all-time favourites.

2. Dial A for Aunties by Jesse Q Sutanto

This one I'm only one chapter in but it has me excited already.

The plot revolves around Meddy, an indonesian-chinese woman, who accidentally murders her blind date and has to recruit the help of her Aunties to cover it up, all while they are planning an over the top billionaire wedding. This book is quirky rom com and murder mystery all in one with a surprise queer romance (so I've bee told)!

In my TBR

1. Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíkeé-Íyímídé

Now I don't know much about how the plot unfolds for this one because it is a mystery and I didn't want spoilers but I have seen this described as "gossip girl meets get out" and if that doesn't reel you in idk what will.

One thing that I do know is that this book has a lot of hype around it and it's all very much deserved. Also that both the mcs, Devon and Chiamaka, are qpoc.

2. Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar

What's that? A desi wlw romcom featuring a bi mc, fake dating turned actual relationship shenanigans and a certified Happily Ever After? Sign me the fuck up. Legit so excited to read this one y'all don't even understand.

3. The Princess Deception by Nell Stark

Y'all ever watched She's The Man and thought this would've been a thousand times better if this was a wlw romance instead? So did I and apparently so did Nell Stark who has made all my dreams come true with just one gender-bent Duke :)))))

A quick note, the book is an adaptation of Twelfth Night itself and not the actual movie so it's a Royal Romance and not a high school based one. It is still set in modern times but Sebastian and Viola are Royals and Missy Duke is a reporter. The football element also remained as it is set in the backdrop of a World Cup that Viola, impersonating Crown Prince Sebastian, is hosting.

Have Read and Loved

1. Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

One of my favourite novels ever. This book was everything I wanna see in a romcom honestly. It was funny, heart-warming, the romance was both passionate but realistic and I never once felt like it didn't make sense for these two characters to be together and love each other so much, which is a problem I have with romances a lot.

Pretty sure most people know about this book by now but here's the highlights anyway- majorly queer and/or poc cast of characters, bi mc, gay love interest, first son of the usa falls for the prince of wales, enemies to friends to lovers, secret relationships, amazing coming out scenes.

2. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

This book broke my heart then built it back up stronger than ever.

I sat down to read a little bit and before I knew it it had been six hours and the book was over. It pulled me in so hard it was almost like a spell. I laughed and cried and felt so many emotions throughout this book and it left me reeling. Gods I could sit here and talk about how much this book affected me for hours. It was a whole experience.

Ari and Dante is a coming of age story about these two boys discovering their identities through exploring their sexualities as well as their relationships with each other, their families and the world at large. It's a story about both queer experiences as well as life as a mexican-american in the 80s.

The book ends on a happy note and has a sequel set to release soon and while not a lot of details have been released so far the author has confirmed that the main characters do not die at the end due to certain rumours going around about the same. There's also a movie currently in development for the first book.

This one got a bit long, clearly I have a lot to say about this book, I think everyone should read this at some point but also it is pretty heavy so please check the trigger warnings before you start.

`````

So yeah those are some books that I have loved/want to read that I'd recommend everyone with similar taste as myself check out. Hope this helps!

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Hey S! You mentioned being on the aro/ace spectrum and I just had some questions about how you navigate that while being involved in the BDSM/kink world. (This will probably be a bit long, so I apologize in advance)

I also identify as being somewhere on the aro-ace spectrum (I use demi since I feel pretty comfortable with that label and other people have heard of it more). My romantic and sexual attraction are almost always linked, meaning that (usually) I’m not really attracted to anyone sexually unless I’m attracted to them romantically. And I have to get to know someone really well to be attracted to them romantically in the first place.

I don’t know how you identify on the spectrum (and there’s no need to disclose that if you don’t feel comfortable), but I wonder if you have any advice, from your own experience or not, how to get involved with kink/BDSM more, and even just sexuality despite this. I’ve never had sex but I do have a healthy level of sexual desires and I just don’t know how to pursue my sexual interests without having a partner involved, thanks to the limitations of how I identify on the aro-ace spectrum.

I hope this wasn’t over sharing, and no pressure to respond if you don’t feel comfortable (obviously don’t want to force you to disclose any information that you don’t feel comfortable explaining/sharing)!

related to (part of) this

Hey! Nah, it's cool, I'm chill with long asks.

Yeah, before I answer some questions, I figured we'll get into just how much I fall on the spectrum, y’know? Like, I don't know if you saw/read this ask, if you didn't that's totally fine lol but, I'm gonna Plagiarize myself for a moment lol:

"Anyway, in my personal experience it's never been a specific label for me? I've believed myself to be straight, bi, pan, and ace. Now, I just say queer.

And, for the purpose of illustration, my best friend growing up is/was a cis woman who's bisexual. (She's romantically attracted to women, men, and nonbinary people, still she sticks with the label bisexual because it works for her. However, she's also asexual and completely sex repulsed. But in her experience and heart, bisexual is her label. It's what feels good to her.) And growing up with her as a best friend - among a bunch of other LGBTQ+ kids - made it so my sexuality wasn't ever weird? It really wasn't questioned in the most beautiful way.

I wish everyone had that experience, it took so much stress off of me, not worrying about my close peers judging my gay-ness. In fact, it didn't really occur to me how "unacceptable" queerness was until I came out to my parents. I had close friends that were both girls that dated in middle school. Everyone regularly discussed the girls they liked and the boys and it was never a Gay Crush or a Straight Crush. Just a crush. I was very lucky with my friends, the rest of the people around me not so much though haha.

So, yeah, it wasn't different and it didn't matter that while, yeah, I think girls are pretty and so are boys yet.... I'm not interested in any of them. Not right now. Maybe when I'm older (I always thought I'd finally hit my phase of being girl crazy and get the "love bug" (as they called it in middle school)... I didn't lmao).

It wasn't until mid-to-late high school that I experienced a crush lmao. My first girlfriend was in senior year of high school, my first kiss and first kinky experience was the same year. (I knew I was kinky prior though)

Before (and even at the time of senior year) I was dealing with so much internal shit, mental health wise, that it was almost like my brain blocked that part off. Subconsciously knowing I was not stable enough to handle a relationship- even one as flimsy as a high school relationship.

Still, I could count the amount of Real Life crushes that I've had on one hand. (Celebrity crushes are different to me lol.) Additionally, even today, of those crushes, I've never experienced the classic crush the way it's explained in media. No stuttering when speaking to them. No blushing. No butterflies or rapid heart rate.

My feelings, when I am interested in someone, are still different feeling from friends though. Just not the same way I hear typical people describe feelings for friends versus partners. Mine are more... muted? That's the only word I can think of at least.

So, technically, I exist on the aromatic spectrum.

And sort of opposite to what you're describing- I've got no muted feelings for sexuality. (Hopefully this isn't too TMI lol.) Sexual attraction wise I have a preference for women (romantically that's also my preference) but I find men and other types of people appealing too. So, technically, I'm pansexual. I don't feel a difference between gender and never have.

Although with sexuality I will say, vanilla sex doesn't hold any heat or draw for me. I call myself a kinkster a lot but, technically, I'd more be a fetishist because kink is kind of something I need to get there 😏

It's not that I'm sticking my nose up at vanilla sex, I just don't see the appeal when I could have more Spice™️. The only thing I see, in theory, changing that is a strong emotional connection between me and someone who wants softer sex. But... that might be challenging, being on the aro spectrum and finding it hard to fall in love or just difficult to crush lol.

So, comprehensively, queer is my label because it's what feels the best and feels like it doesn't limit me in any way. Plus, secondly to my own feelings on it (which should come first), it's the easiest way to explain myself to other people."

So... basically that's the long way of staying: I'm more on the aro spectrum than the ace spectrum. I don't feel romantic attraction often and it's more muted when I do. I feel sexual attraction more commonly, almost normally, but... I also know it's not fully the "normal" amount/attraction toward "normal" sexual activities as allosexual people would.

Anyway -

Mmm yeah, I've played with the label demi too but I don't think it's me. I totally get that concept though, even if it's not how my personal feelings work, y’know? I'm happy that you have a label you can identify as, hey, that's me! And, hey, there are other people like me out there! That's always nice.

And, oof, yeah that's a really hard question to answer and unfortunately the only advice I can really give you is the same as just getting involved in the kink community like anyone would. Find what's out there in your community. Go to munches, events, bars (if there are specific bars in your area or nights at bars (usually bigger cities have those somewhere)), etc. For you particularly though, I wouldn't recommend going to play parties where sex/scenes are happening until you have a more established base in the kink community. Partly because there's not much communication happening, just a lot of hooking up lol. Unless you feel comfy just watching, declining anyone who asks you to participate, I'd wait to do that. Just to tread lightly y’know? But you know yourself better than anyone else so... do what you like.

As far as not having a partner (I'm assuming partner as in dating boyfriend/girlfriend/nbfriend), that's really hard too.... I mean, you don't need to have a romantic and sexual partner to engage in scenes lol, that's what trusted kinky friends are for.

Although- perhaps you do need a partner, it depends on your attraction with friends and your boundaries.

Other than that, I would also suggest bringing a friend you have already (if you know anyone who's curious about kinky shit lol), or going to those events in order to establish new friends. In my experience, most of the kinksters I've met do relationships backward- they don't do romance first or date first and instead hook up first and have scenes then slowly fall in love lol. But! That doesn't mean all of them are like that. Plenty will be happy to establish a connection with you and see what happens after the groundwork is laid. Just make sure you're up-front with the fact that you're demi so everyone is on the same page!

Also- the people you will be meeting already are a part of marginalized society, out of the norm, so, in theory, they should be emphatic to your experience as well as what you do or do not concent to.

I don't know if any of that helped or made sense but... hopefully it did! Basically, you know what you need, try to socialize in the way you're comfortable with and see where it takes you.

P.S. if you want further proof that you're not alone, Amp from Watts The Safeword [an online content creation body with Amp and his Daddy] is very kinky and also demi! I highly recommend the content that is made there too, educational and entertaining.

I wish you well on your kinky journey sweetheart 😘