#slang oracle

[purpleturtletarot]

Slang Oracle - Are you Fully "Down" for this New Cycle? (Pwned, What It Do, Down)

This message is for entertainment purposes only. Feel free to ask me any questions.

I have an Instagram and YouTube under the same name PurpleTurtleTarot and a TikTok called PurpleTurtleOracle.

[skylee-spider-lillis]

Just ignore my silly batfam texting headcanon(s).

Damian Jason the literature nerd and Barbara all have perfect grammar and a high vocabulary in texting and the rest of the batkids is like wtf. Weirdos. In group chats.

Though Damian probably uses emojis a lot. Probably a lot of angry emojis.

And also Jason is very brief and stiff in his messages.

[solarsystems-greatestpsychic]

please search up what a gyatt is.

I have been burdened with knowledge.

[aingeal98]

Cass picking up TV and Internet slang and incorporating it into her vocabulary with zero irony: Wonderful, amazing, 10/10 no notes.

Babs spending so much time around Cass that she ends up accidentally using that same slang while in Oracle mode and never being able to live it down: Total global communications breakdown. She'd burn the entire Internet to the ground to make sure the footage of her whispering "bazinga" while using a drone to shoot out the tyres of a mob car following Black Canary never reaches human eyes or ears.

But no matter how much technology she destroys there's no going back. Helena has heard her mutter "gg you fuckin noobs" while bypassing goverment firewalls, and no amount of insisting that it's actually a different term with a different meaning among hackers is going to fool a teacher who deals with teenagers on a regular basis. Her reputation is in shambles. The Birds keep buying Cass free drinks as thanks and she has no idea why.

[robintherobiner]

What would the Wayne Family and the Bat Family post tiktok

Bruce: videos of him buying new outfits with the material girl sound over it because, according to one post, 'his kids said it was funny and he liked seeing them smile'. on his official account though (the wayne enterprises one) his 'social media manager' posts clips from interviews and soundbites.

Batman: does not have a tiktok.

Dick: posts videos of him either doing gymnastics or of him hanging out with his siblings. Most of the time he is throwing up a peace sign and then Tim and Damian are wrestling in the background and he captions it something along the lines of 'brothers drawing blood in Blud!'

Nightwing: posts videos of short self defense tips/poses, regularly collabs with Red Hood. (not that Jason knows this, Dick just sets up a camera and then goes and bothers his brother until he tries to punch him so he can teach people to block)

Barbara: Posts videos talking about accessibility (both whats available and what should be put in place). if one of the wayne's annoy her, she also will post a compilation of them doing something silly like tripping over thin air or being caught using a hairbrush as a microphone)

Oracle: posts clips of people doing non violent crimes (faces blurred out ofc) with the caption "the eye in the sky sees you, dumbass." because why would you try ack a car on a street with three non-hidden cameras

Jason: doesn't post. anymore. does have an account from when he was a teenager where it's just him doing sped up acting videos to sounds. he has tried to log in to take it down but Bruce changed the password. Brucie regularly comments on different videos like "my baby was such a star... rip sweetie 🕊️🕊️🕊️" and its Jason lip-syncing to fucking Justin Bieber or something

Red Hood: posts videos shitting on Batman. the comments were full of people saying "daddy issues" or "i wanna be a dealer just so you can shoot me babygirl" so he turned them off. sometimes someone (tim) turns them back on and Jason gets bombarded with "BRO IS SERVING CUNT"

Cassandra: posts videos of her doing ballet, or of her showing off her strength. Not on purpose though, she thinks its fun to post videos of her teasing her brothers and the comments are like "WHY DID SHE JUST PICK UP DICK GRAYSON WITHOUT EVEN BREAKING A SWEAT WHAT"

Orphan: has a shared account with Batgirl, but she doesn't post on it, just sort of stands in the background as Steph makes funny videos.

Stephanie: enjoys posting videos pretending to be dating both Tim and Cass because she thinks its funny when the internet call her a gold digger and cheater. Bernard (after going public with Tim) occasionally fuels the fire by commenting "lmao get ur bag girl" under a video of her dragging Tim to a resturant

Batgirl: posts videos of her making fun of rogues, and on her shared account with Cass, just joins in on trends but obviously mixing it to fit her (aka: "when Batman lectures you for breaking a criminals leg but your literally just a teenage girl")

Timothy: like Bruce, he has two accounts. One is professional, with him promoting Wayne Enterprises products or whatever. Second one is full of him doing wild shit like skateboarding down the manor stairs or him trying to confuse Bruce with cringey slang. his most popular video though, is of him using the Nepo Baby sound by Fox SZN

Red Robin: posts slideshows of pictures of Gotham. All very aesthetic ones, of good architecture and people laughing together and shit. His bio is "showing you guy why I do what I do." His account is very artsy fartsy but he also was the first batfamily member to get verified

Duke: doesn't post, just likes videos.

Signal: posts videos of him trying to scare the other vigilantes, cuz, yknow, he can go invisible. tell me you wouldn't do that either if you could be invisible. exactly, you can't. He also makes videos about how hard it is to be a teen vigilante.

Damian: videos of his pets doing tricks. also regularly stitches Tim's videos and just deadass insults him. Tim always comments on his stitches with just a singular emoji because he found out it pisses Damian off more when he doesn't have a big reaction

Robin: posts about resources for gothamites. also has a shared account with Superboy (Jon) where they try and sneak up on both Superman and Batman. They have yet to succeed on either one.

[marple-miss-99]

That is so 'girly pop core' of you! As the youngsters say.

wheres mah pay fool?

Pay? What pay? and for what?

[youngjusticerulez]

My favourite lines from The Trails of Apollo The Hidden Oracle lol-

Spoiler alert!!! Also it's pretty long

The others seemed confused. Then the glow became brighter: a holographic golden sickle with a few sheaves of wheat, rotating just above Meg McCaffrey.

A boy in the crowd gasped. 'She's a communist!'

(I refuse to elaborate or give the next line)

Bacon is good.

Yes- that may be the title of the song: 'Bacon Is Good'.

(again I refuse to elaborate)

With my left leg bound to Meg's right, I felt the way I used to be in Leto's womb just before my sister and I were born. And yes, I remember that quite well. Artemis was always shoving me aside, elbowing me in the ribs and generally being a womb hog.

Or perhaps when I accidentally saw Ares naked in the gymnasium. That had been enough to turn my hair white for a century.

Yes, me, Apollo...ashamed. Truly, it was an event so unpredictable it should have ripped apart the cosmos.

I didn't understand the purpose of the seeds, but it was comforting to know that in a direction emergency I could hit people with my ukulele while Meg planted geraniums.

Any of the moments when Rhea called Apollo 'man' or just randomly says chill and basically uses millennial slang (I think millennial) is just hilarious lol

Out of ideas, I tugged my Brazilian-flag handkerchief from my neck and waved it like a maniac, trying to channel my inner Paolo.

'BACK, FOUL ANTS!' I yelled 'BRAZIL!'

The tone of the scream reminded me of Hera whenever she stormed through the hallways of Olympus, yelling at me for leaving the godly toilet seat up. (LMAOOO CHILL HERA CHILL)

Another time, Artemis shot me in the groin because I was flirting with her Hunters. (HEHEHEH)

I stared at my beloved dumpster waif. Yes, somehow over the past week she had become beloved to me. (I read that as wife first. The line is referring to Meg btw)

I felt as if dozens of important statements, each vital to my survival, were being blended together, loaded in a shotgun and fired at my face.

(Oh, that's a rather good image. I'll have to use it in a haiku.)

PLEASE SOMEONE TELL ME WTF HAIKU MEANS

I could not stand the idea of being abandoned. Not again. Not by this ragamuffin dumpster queen whom I'd learn to care about so much. (Aww Apollo called her queen✨ they're bonding :D)

'Is this really safe?' she yelled.

'Perfectly!' I hoped I was right. 'Perhaps even safer than the sum chariot!'

'Didn't the sun chariot almost destroy the world once?'

'Well, twince,' I said. 'Three times, if you count the day I let Thalia Grace drive, but-'

'Forget I asked!' (THALIA WHAT DID YOU DO-)

Buck-naked statue

A Neurotic Colossus

Where art thy undies? (I'm sorry this is a chapter title but it's too ridiculous to not include)

Malcolm looked like the perfect battlefield commander, except for the fact he'd forgotten his jeans. His red briefs made quite a statement with his sword and leather cuirass. (LMAOOOO)

Also... did I mention that the hundred-foot statue was entirely nude? Well, of course it was. Gods are almost always depicted as nude, because we are flawless beings. Why would you cover up perfection? Still, it was a little disconcerting to see my buck-naked self stomping around, slamming a ship's rudder at Camp Half-Blood.

As we approached the Colossus, I bellowed loudly, 'IMPOSTER! I AM THE REAL APOLLO! YOU'RE UGLY!' (bro is unhinged as fuck)

'Will, Kayla, Austin,' I said, 'come with me.'

'And Nico,' said Nico. 'I have a doctor's note.' (SOLANGELO SOLANGELO SOLANGELO)

I had forgotten about the power of shadow-travelling the way children of the Underworld could step into one shadow and appear from another, sometimes hundreds of miles away. Hades used to love sneaking up on me that way and yelling, 'HI!' just as I shot an arrow of death. (I imagine Hades giggling like a school girl)

'You guys go,' Will told me. 'The chariot is only designed for three, and after that shadow-travel Nico id going to pass out any second.'

'No, I'm not,' Nico complained, then passed out.

Will caught him in a fireman's lift and took him away.

'Good luck! I'm going to get the Lord of Darkness here some Gatorade!' (MORE SOLANGELO)

I try to avoid weapons that talk. I find them rude and distracting. Once, Artemis had a bow that could cuss like a Phoenician sailor. (Sounds like me)

The moment Percy's faithful pet landed on top of the moving Colossus, she yelped and proceeded to wee-wee on said Colossus's head. The statue froze and looked up, no doubt wondering what was trickling down his imperial sideburns. (Percy has a Hellhound named Mrs O'Leary? Damn)

Harley and his love for stealing smiley face stickers from the infirmary and sticking them on his flamethrower. It's wholesome <3 and honestly I would have done the same if I have any stickers

And boom I finished the book :D

[zzencat]

Paid Readings Info!! - zzencat

-> Last updated: October, 2024 PST

Confidential + Personal + Raw + Clarification + Advice + Some readings may include potential 18+ material

Feedback 1 —————— Feedback 2

Feedback 3 —————— Feedback 4

Feedback 5 (currently updating)

Teddy Opening: Hey guys!! So this is everything you need to know for personal paid readings. Why pay? You will help in supporting me in my daily life and I hope to support you in yours with guidance, reflection, advice, help with your introspection, and whatever else 😎👍

*** About Language: English is the primary language I’ll be using. This includes some English slang, abbreviations, or curse words. If you need clarification on anything or help understanding what I mean, PLEASE DON’T EVER HESITATE TO ASK 😎👍 Ask and I’ll be happy to help you understand in any way that I can. No, you’re not a burden or a bother. You can count on me. No judgment whatsoever. (If you struggle with English and you’re worried about how your English, it’s 999999% fine with me. I’ve had many clients whose first language was not English. We’ll work it out, I promise. My parents don’t speak English as their first language either, so I grew up learning how to communicate to where you can understand.)

• My readings are sent through email or Tumblr DM, and are in the form of PDFs from Google Docs (unless the answers in the readings are shorter than a page or 2; then I’ll send the answers directly through dm or email.)

• Regular paid readings take 1-7 days maximum to complete upon payment. For Packages, please allow up to 7-8 days max. I will be transparent with you about how much time and how much I’ve finished for any reading.

1) First and foremost, you HAVE to be a follower of my blog and you have to have seen my readings before.

Why? Because I need you to be familiar with how I do my readings—which include of bullet points, hella commentary and extra notes from the Teddy + spirit team pov (which can be funny, helpful, or both), some slang, cursing, and letting my spirit team ramble. A lot of the info is blunt and very no bullshit. (Bear w/ me; I got the Queen of Swords on my spirit team lmfao 😂) My readings could get a bit long, thorough, and maybe overly detailed, varying from the info I receive. My body serves as a host for my Spirit guides, and connecting with Spirits :)

Make sure you read through my Quick Starters Post (it’s pretty short n simple). Keep in mind that tarot readings are a tool for clarity, and not an all seeing eye. Everything is susceptible to change. Time is fluid, and nothing is fixed. The readings are based on your energy now.

***When to request? You can request at any time. (I’m in the PST timezone so if I don’t respond to you, that’s because I’m sleeping or doing summer hw. I always respond within 24 hours tho!)

Where + How?: You can dm me on Tumblr or email me ( teddiebearrr69@gmail.com), and state the reading number that you’d like. Your reading will be received within 7 days (unless some issue comes up, then I’ll let you know. If it’s late, no later than an extra day.) and I’ll send you the PayPal link where the money will go through. You will choose 3 photos out of a pile of 9 (that I have chosen for you.) The decks I frequently use: Everyday Witch (primary), Tarot of Sexual Magic, RWS (circular edition)! Oracle cards will be pulled if I need more info, advice, or further clarification.

***ALSO IMPORTANT, if you’d like me to do readings for you, please leave your door OR window open at any point of our session (for at least a couple of hours.) You may close when you’ve received your reading. This helps me connect with your Spirit team better :)

Readings I do are belowowowow👇

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• • • • • Readings (for now) • • • • •

Reading #1 (and also my most requested reading):

(*For Singles*) Future Spouse (with optional brief 18+ section) | $8 USD

Note: This is different from final spouse bc I can’t say whether you will or won’t face divorce/separation 😅). However, I can give you a vibe of where it’s headed. (Prepare yourself!!)

HEAVY DISCLAIMER: We will take a look into your past and your future lover’s past to see if there should be any trauma to be worked on. This means we will potentially cross very private and vulnerable information on both yours and your lover’s side.

↳ We will cover:

• their current energy now—if you met now vs when you meet later.

• positive and negative aspects of this person/relationship, and how this can develop (pos or neg.) over time (with examples. Like I said, these readings will be similar to the ones I have posted but a lot more in depth and personalized.)

• rockiness and toxicity within the relationship; what to expect while dating; how you both can help improve the relationship; a look into their past selves (relationship, hardships, IF THEY ALLOW THIS INFO TO BE TOLD, but I will try to reason with them.)

• things they need to work on before and after meeting you + what you can do to prepare for this person coming in

• how will you recognize them + how they will recognize you

• their possible occupations at the moment and later — basically where they’re at in life ( + emotionally)

• overall advice for both you + future spouse

🔓 $2.44 USD to unlock: a brief, general overview of sexual relationship + potential kinks. there will be a small deal of vulgar language and graphic descriptions. BUT the 18+ section here is not as detailed as #2.

***PLEASE KEEP IN MIND !!!!! that I will give you “warnings” here and there, and will be transparent if their inner child or spirit guides do not want me discussing some issues/does not want me going in depth.

This is how you’ll get an idea or hint on what they might be secretive about, and personally, this isn’t a good sign, especially if they’re likely to hide mistakes. I would advise you pay attention to these *cryptic* areas, because those are where the bigger problems are at. Yes, some are insecure about it, but that just means they have some work to do. The more open they are about their past, the better. It shows maturity and a desire for growth, and that they won’t hide if they’ve messed up somewhere. That’s a good sign to me.

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Reading #2:

(18+) What does your sexual relationship say about your overall relationship? - Next Partner/Final Spouse | $7 USD

↳ We will uncover:

• Your person’s 18+ thoughts/fantasies from your first meeting/impression to developing friendship to newly dating stage.

• What will lead to your first time with them, feelings + emotions on their side, what will happen during the act?

• Their feelings/overall sex life mood when you’re both comfortable with each other (including yours!) Stagnancy? Contentment? Needs more spice? Sexual conflicts?

• Their kinks!!! Graphic imagery and descriptions, but not at a smut novel level haha (maybe tho…depends on the cards and context)

• Fears and how to improve the relationship, where it could go wrong

• Honestly this reading could get suuuper thorough real quick- hopefully your partner gives me permission to pry heheh 🙂‍↕️

———————/////—————/////——————

Reading #3:

(18+) What Your Sexual Energy Says About Your Past + How To Achieve Peace in Your Life | $7.44 USD

↳ We will uncover:

Intrusive-ish reading to an extent. It shouldn’t be too bad (I hope...) But there’s no need to be embarrassed! (I used to write smut lmfao)

This is where I will do a regular card reading for you to see where you are, mainly relying on my Sexual Magic deck (which is cleansed before each reading.)

• your desires/hidden fantasies (now + possibly future) and potentially why you have them

This reading lets us know where you are in your life, what blockages or concerns your subconscious is facing and how this affects your daily life and even future.

Note: I personally like doing sexual readings and they come out very accurately since my sacral chakra and sensuality is so essential to me as…well, me hahaha. My highest good keeps me in high sexual energy, which is probably why I connect to the Tarot of Sexual Magic deck so well :)

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Reading #4:

“I’m Still Feeling Stuck. Where Did This Come From? What can I do about it?” (95% Trauma based.) | $6 USD

↳ We will uncover:

If you‘ve seen my reading on stagnancy or reading on little things to uplift your life, this will be pretty the same BUT more in depth and in accordance to your energy. It’ll be personalized to you 🤗

advice!!

I think the messages do need to be taken seriously so if you learn a bit about yourself in this reading, I’d be seriously happy.

———————/////—————/////——————

Reading #5:

Wtf happened in my past life? What did I do to deserve this? Can I still turn things around? / Past Life Reading | $7 USD

↳ We will uncover:

One of my favorite concepts ever. We all wonder where we went wrong to go through such hurt in this life. Wtf exactly happened? You and I will unlock what and who you possible were, your occupation(s), family life/relationships, conflicts, romantic relationship(s), potential betrayals, life lessons your soul carried from that life to this one. This can also be read as just a past life reading!!

Approx. 10-12 questions asked about past life during reading

What can you learn from? What can you let go and move on?

Or perhaps…this is your first life? What lessons do you need to learn in this life?

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Reading #6:

A question and some advice (can get pretty deep depending on the person.) | $3 USD/per question. You can ask any question of your choice (read “no questions about” for more info), as many questions as you’d like, but each question is $3 USD., relating to a specific situation or different things.

❌ No questions about: if you and [celebrity] will date 😂😂, altho you can ask about what your compatibility would be! Singular future spouse, warning, or what to look forward to, 18+ questions in your current/future relationship are welcome. No death-related or specific physical + mental illness/disease questions please.

Feel free to reach out for further questions or details, or if you’re confusion as to what you can or can’t ask! And please don’t feel embarrassed (I’ve seen it all fam ✋🥲)

One of my readers,🫀(on feedback), has become a regular and a friend of mine!! She’s asked if it was okay to do an anime character relationship compatibility between her and said character with her personal list of prompts/questions!! Pricing varies based on how many questions there are. | $3 USD / question

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Reading #7:

Warnings in the near future based on your current energy? (within 3 months to a year from now) - $4.44 USD

↳ We will uncover:

• advice, how to see it when it comes, what to look forward to, what’s likely to happen?

+ $3.22 USD to unlock: Your prediction sounding kinda rough? How can I likely prevent it? Can I change it or do I need to go through this?

———————/////—————/////——————

Reading #8

“Okay, be honest. Does this person like me? Do I stand a chance with them? Are they the right person for me?” - $8 USD

↳ We will uncover:

• applies to situationships, potential partners, the person on your mind, secret admirers, unrequited love

• get ready for honesty right here babyyyy (if you buy this reading, ya gotta brace yourself. I’m telling you here and now and when you dm me as well!!)

• things they need to work on before they’re ready for commitment

• How will I know if they’re the one?

• red and green flags about your person

• personalized advice to you

+2 USD to unlock: How do they see me in general?

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Reading #9

(Single or Currently Seeing Romantically) Future Spouse’s Past Life!! - $7 USD

• Refer back to reading #5 about your past life!! Everything there is applied here but about your future spouse this time!

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-> Introducing Packages! :

1) Cat-Sees-All Package - $26

↳ We will uncover:

• reading #1 - future spouse reading (optional brief 18+ section)

• reading #5 + #9 - past life reading on yourself

• overall advice

Disclaimer: these can get heavy realllllly quickly. My future spouse ones are usually extensive and deep anyway (especially since we look into more subconscious and past issues/trauma so I suggest you grab some popcorn. Maybe some tissues too if you need.

———————/////

2) LENZ Package - $24 (minors dni)

↳ We will uncover:

• dark, sensitive, mature and potentially triggering material

• this is pretty much a combination of readings #3 + #4, but we tap into your future spouse’s/lover’s sexual energy/preferences/lifestyle as well yours through kinks!!

• figuring out significant events in yours and their childhood and if trauma has played a role on your daily life and theirs; AND both yours + their individual feelings/energy/view towards and of sex (including deep rooted trauma)

• how sex preferences heal their inner child + how your sex preferences heal yours

• how do they seek this in daily, normal behavior and communication with others + how do you seek it? how does this seep into your daily lives?

• overall advice

🔓 + 2 USD to unlock: Will you be able to heal your wounds together through sex? What is it about you that attracts your partner, personality and sex-wise?

Disclaimer: this is also a really deep reading that includes psychological factors and sensitive topics, so if you’re an empath or are sensitive to this material in general, you might wanna take a couple breathers and come back. It can get pretty dark and negative as well, so I recommend that you don’t get to your reading until the end of the day or when you’re certain nothing can ruin your day.

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3) Custom Package!!

• here, you’ll be able to create you own list of questions (within the boundaries ofc- rmr, nothing about death, illness, politics, etc.) | $3 per question

this is catered towards those who have very specific questions they want answered, anything they’re curious about that hasn’t been answered in the “we will uncover” section of the readings! This allows for modifications or adjustments to be made in order to create the best list of questions well suited for you 😎👍

Ex) 5 questions = $15 USD

7 q’s = $21 USD, etc., etc….

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-more coming soon…brr brrr

**Constructive feedback is heavily encouraged so pls lemme know how it was for you, how it resonated, however many paragraphs you’d like. I’m happy to talk about it w you!! No judgment here.

- Teddy :)

[czytling]

CMxDC Day 1 @criminalmindsxdc

Better Call Constantine || Supernatural Unsub || Magic User!BAU Agent || "Wheels up!"

Also Day 5: Identity reveal

Inspired by "The Black Queens C.D" by Misfit_Writer (cmxdc2024, on ao3)

----

Authors note: I am trying out a new style called describing sound only. let's where this gets me.

----

Moore's law

Information science: law that states that number of transistors in a closed circle double every two years.

Business slang: law implying that the amount of available information double every two years

------

"Everyone, shut up! Robin to the left. Birds, brief on your own for now. Everyone else, Oracle is busy tonight, no questions, see you tomorrow. Emergency only."

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beeeiiip. Beeeiiip. "Copy." "Yes." "Camera clear." Bip.bip.bip. Status critical. Beep. Beeeiiip. "Just a moment!" "No, Nightwing!" "Robin to the left." "Birds of Prey reporting for mission in keystone city." "Left Robin, that is not left!" "Huntress, not now." Critical. "O, copy data?" Critical. Bip. 'O, have you' 'O, can you check' Bip. Beep. [Transmission blocked: too many people on the line] Beeiiip. Crit...

Critical. Critical.

[Quick typing] [Quicker typing]

Overload stopped.

Beep. Beep. Beeiiip. Beeiip. Bip. Beep. Bip.bip.

[Typing]

Beeiiip. Bip. Bip. Beeiiip.

[Typing]

[Momentary silence]

Bippibip. Bippibip. Bibip. Bibip.

"Uhhhh this is too much! Damiit!"

New case: information analysis: preliminary: serial killer: location: New York, Minneapolis, Jump City, Kansas, New Orleans, Seattle: priority: urgent.

[Frustrated exhale. Sound of a head hitting something hard]

"Not another one!"

Details: conflicting. Resolution: unclear motive. Free operatives: none.

[Defeated sigh]

"I guess this calls for extra help"

-------

Quantico, BAU headquarters, Penelope Garcia's room

"What! No, no, no, no, no. Got you. Wait, no. Nearly. Shit! Ok, just a bit. And there! They are out!"

[Sound of popup window appearing]

"Fuck!"

Greetings Black Queen. Congratulations for your job at BAU, FBI. Here is some information that may interest you. The link is safe. Oracle.

"Hooolyy..."

"Hotch, come here for a minute, please!"

-----

Quantico, BAU headquarters, common space

"As previously mentioned, due to lack of current cases at the moment, we are taking the case based on material sent us by Oracle. They are an information broker, and all of information has been confirmed by Garcia to be valid. New victims appear all over the country, so for now familiarise yourself with those packets and be ready for wheels up immediately when we get notice of a new victim."

"Ough, this is gruesome. Uuuh. Hotch, any confirmation on the cause of death?"

"The victims all had 3rd degree burns or higher. Method of burning is unclear and does not fit any of the most common types, at least according to coroners."

[Lenghty silence. Papers shuffling.]

"This is illogical. The dates on those files must be mistaken. There is no possibility an unsub travelled across the country this fast. Not accounting for the maximum speed of an airplane."

"Pen?"

"Confirming... no, indeed. The travel plans do not fit any recorded flight plans and the unsub moves too fast between cities to travel by any other transportation system."

"..."

"So multiple unsubs with common modus operandi then? I guess this would mean... but there is no visible variation in method...

[Converation continues, typing]

"This doesn't make any sense. Guys. Guys! Even accounting for two unsubs, there is no way they travelled between those locations in those timings. There are no planes, commercial or private, who did those or similar routes at that time."

"So three unsubs? That's ... unusual"

"Shit. New body dropped."

"Wheels up in 10."

-----

Buffalo Springs

"He was just there, how is he not here at all. We were blocking all exits, there is no way he disappeared into thin air."

"...I'd hate to be the one to suggest that, but maybe they are travelling by some sort of magical device?"

----

This is the phone number for Justice League of America. Please be aware that your talk is being recorded.

To inform about imminent or ongoing large scale international or intergalactic attack, press 1.

To inform about other incident that is currently life-threatening, press 2.

To inform about non life-threatening incidents, press 3.

For claims and complaints against JLA, press 4.

For media comments, press 5.

For JL applications and nominations, press 6.

For League members and adjacent who forgot their credentials and how to call an interleague number, why are we even working with you? Press 7

For other matters press 8.

[Key clicks]

Beep. If you are a league member reporting an incident, press 1.

If you are a federal agency member, press 2.

[Key clicks]

If the matter requires immediate attention to be contained, press 1.

If the matter is contained by proves too dangerous for you to continue, press 2.

If the matter requires specialised skills, press 3.

[Key clicks]

If magic skills are needed, press 1.

[Key clicks]

Describe your issue.

"We obtained Intel on interstate serial killer. He has been escalating and is liable to kill again within next 10 hours maximum. He is travelling between locations at speed suggesting use of magic. We request a consult with magic user."

Your issue is too complex. Please wait for a consultant on the line.

The next free consultant is the Oracle.

Beep.

Oracle on the line. How may I help you.

"Oracle? As in the information broker? Since when are you part of JLA?!"

Since nearly the beginning. I am brokering information on behalf of justice league. Is this call related to the cases I sent you?

"Yes, actually, we connected many of those cases. It's a single unsub, using fire to kill his victims, expected male, late 20s to early 30s, white, attractive. He moves between locations too fast to be possible for a non-magical user. And he is liable to kill again within next 10 hours. We need a magical user to contain magic causing him to travel so he can be apprehended."

Understood. [Pause] A magic user will be with you shortly.

Beep. [Distant, sound similar to hearing somebody else's call in the background through a phone call] Calling John Constantine. Calling John Constantine. Beep. [Sharp intake of breath. Muttered "I'm too tired for this. Further sound muted]

John Constantine will be with you shortly. Have a pleasant day.

Beep. Beep. [Disconnect sound].

"Well, I guess that is that."

[storiesfromylelmore]

If you find the vibes immaculate you might love Stories From Ylelmore!

STORIES FROM YLELMORE IS CURRENTLY CROWDFUNDING FOR SEASON 2!

Stories From Ylelmore is an all-ages low stakes fantasy audio drama about a witch, a werewolf, and a curse-barer getting into shenanigans of all types! Season 1 features delightful things like

An immortal who speaks entirely in slang from the 1800s to the 1990s

An Oracle who tells fortunes in (poorly crafted) riddles (due to government regulation) and is really over the entire thing

A yeti who sets up an annual challenge to catch her as a winter promotion for her ice cream shop.

A school that sends you on spiritual adventures (results and message clarity may vary)

Ghosts of sad millennials in attics

Supportive parents

and Season 2 promises to bring much more!

[purpleturtletarot]

Slang Oracle - Wylin' For Reals Grimey - Refuse to Be Devalued - You are Valuable 🫶🏽🌟

[tohisprettyc00l]

Huntlow as your parents

-You are so spoiled, bro.

-Your dad's dad is a former coven head. And dating the CEO of Blight indursties. AND they both helped save the Boiling Isles. So they can get you a lot of shit.

-They both teach you self-defense. They'll also make sure you have pepper spray and all that.

-If you choose to use plant magic Willow is so excited. She is so onboard with helping. You'd have higher grades than anyone.

-Speaking of higher grades you'll have full marks in glyph classes. Having your dad be someone who uses glyphs for magic and studied/studies, Luz who basically founded them, and King who made them. 

-Tbh no matter what you're going to pass magic-themed classes. Because (Eda's bias aside) You have a pro magic user in every cove besides oracles. You literally have 3 former coven heads on your side.

-100% embrassing parents. They embarrassed you on accident once and now they do it purposely.

-It's nothing too bad just being all lovey-dovey in front of your friends. Also purposely miss using slang.

-They love you a lot tho. 

-10/10 parents would recommend getting adopted by them.

[sparrow-the-tired-lesbian]

consider: an oracle that give kids of every generation new slang words and phrases. and I have decided that this oracle should be played by Jeff Goldblum.

“Wait, wait… I’m getting something… *puts up his hands to tell everyone to shut up* check yourself… before you wreck yourself.” *cheering in the distance*

[aingeal98]

The age gap between Babs and Dick vs the rest of the batkids has me convinced that neither of them ever get the memes or slang the younger ones are referencing.

Tim, with Steph filming: You know, I'm so hungry I could eat the Flying Graysons.

Dick, quietly: What the fuck did you just say to me?

Tim: Wait, no, Dick it's a tiktok thing. It's a meme. Dick why are you walking towards me I wasn't serious. Steph! Steph stop filming! Call Cass!

Bruce, sitting next to Babs facing Cass and Damian: So the altercation that happened yesterday was due to Cassandra teasing you for not knowing the third most common style of Kalaripayattu, just the first two. I believe she called you "newgen" and you felt this warranted physical violence as a response.

Damian:

Cass:

Babs: I'm going to be honest. I get the implication but neither of us understand why exactly the insult is worth a fight. What does it mean?

Cass: You're Oracle. You know the Internet but not this?

Damian: It seems your bias is washed, Cassandra.

Cass: You fucking take that back!

Babs: Completely unhelpful. Thank you both.

[aprillikesthings]

the struggle is real

don't let this mislead you. it's definitely going to be more chapters than that.

also within the last week I realized how I could've fixed a thing starting like two chapters ago. as in posted chapters.

I might add like one line but I'm not doing that much heavy editing on shit that's already on ao3.

(posting as you go: it has pros and cons!)

but holy shit after chapter five (which is one of the ch already on ao3) this doc is a fucking disaster of just random scenes and notes in no particular order, I swear it just keeps getting messier and messier as I just open the doc and just throw everything into it as the ideas come to me

the irony is that if I actually sat down and dedicated some time to it I think I could get the next chapter up in a week or two

and a solid portion of MULTIPLE CHAPTERS past that are already in first draft

(I should ask how to access the printer at home. I could do Ye Olde "print out what I have written so I have a physical copy and then literally cut things up and retype them" because dealing with the google doc and all the scenes out of order is getting to be a HASSLE)

Anyway likely rewatching the Mystacor episode from s1 later (lol I saw someone call it The Gaslighting Episode) just to help me nail Castaspella's voice

But also I need to find the dvd drive and the fucking disc of scanned copies of the San Francisco Oracle ahhh and also reread bits of the Lisa Mason novel that was part of the reason I started writing this, because I've forgotten half the slang etc

[inact-ice]

Final thoughts on 911 season 1 now that I’ve actually watched it all:

- Abby was my favourite character of this season! Which really surprised me because Buck is like the exact type of character who’s usually my favourite (goofy with a lot of dark trauma and insecurities that they hide with jokes, himbo, bisexual coded), but the episode where Abby’s talking to her brother and she said that being a daughter and being a saint were the same thing really endeared me to her (eldest immigrant daughter core). I liked her relationship with her mom a lot too, I love how much they loved each other but how the show wasn’t afraid to show how putting all the care of someone struggling with an illness like that onto one person, can be so difficult and isolating for both people in that kind of relationship. I also really loved how dedicated she was to saving people, like I kept calling her Batman even though calling her the Oracle would have made more sense lol. Again, need the spinoff show where Abby’s just travelling the world and solving crimes!

- I cried when she left because I know from the fandom that she’s gone forever (for the most part) and that she ghosts Buck so we never even hear her voice again ugh

- I think Bobby’s arc was my favourite, it was very nice to see him heal, then backslide a bit, then get back up and keep trying. Bathena was also my favourite relationship even though it only really showed up at the end, but they’re just so cute together

- Favourite episode was episode 7 because of the way they tied together the emergencies, it was so well done and showcase of writing talent that I’m excited to see more of! Also this is when Abby solidified herself as Batman to me, she yearns for justice and the streets of Gotham I fear.

- episode 7 is also the episode with my favourite emergency of the season, the one with the gay couple where one of them had a tapeworm! They were so funny, and honestly so was everyone involved in the scene. Buck sharing his gym bro dieting tips made me laugh so hard, and Bobby just being over it was hilarious! Despite being surrounded by other pretty dark emergencies, it didn’t feel jarring!

- my least favourite arc was the hen cheating arc, I already knew they were gonna get back together and it would never be mentioned again, and it was just not fun to watch at all. Plus Hen took over w/ the intro monologues for Abby during this arc, which cut into our already limited Abby screen time, to make metaphors about cheating on her wife. UGH!

- my least favourite character was probably actually buck (gasp!). I liked him, don’t get me wrong! But a combination of the intense second hand embarrassment he gave me at the beginning of the season and my intense overwhelming love for Abigail Clark, just made me enjoy other characters more. Sometimes I felt that he was a little too immature for her, or he’d say things that would make me cringe

- my favourite scene overall was the scene where bobby was helping buck tie his tie, and he told him he looked handsome, and they were just joking around with each other! It was so cute, such an adorable father-son moment that showed some of the growth they’ve both gone through to be able to be in this situation and interact with each other like that. Ugh just so cute, will be reading more buck and bobby father-son fics THANK YEW

- my least favourite scene was of course the scene where buck is assaulted by his therapist because what the fuck was that.

- I also really hated when everyone not only thought that Buck would cheat on my beautiful wife Abby Clark, but they were also just kinda chill with it??? It felt so weird and callous?? And kinda ooc bc they yelled at him when he was single and just slanging it, but now that he’s in a relationship they think it’s none of their business?? It was so weird, and it would have been my least favourite episode if we didn’t get that awesome closing monologue to Florence and the machine from Abby at the end, which made me cry btw

- and also if the first couple of episodes weren’t kinda rough, the season got better the later we got into it, then peaked at episode 7!

All in all, I really enjoyed this season and I’m glad I decided to stop being a fandom lurker and finally watch it! Very excited to start watching season 2 whenever I get to it, because this is the season where Maddie and Eddie enter right? And Christopher!! I predict that Maddie will probably be my favourite character of the season, bc of eldest daughter solidarity and bc from what the fandom has told me she’s literally the coolest ever

- wait i lied, Athena’s mean gay husband is my least favourite character! He just lacks so much tact and has said some things to Athena that were so damn mean! I don’t think either Athena or her husband handled that whole arc well, but sometimes her husband said stuff that was like especially cruel and unwarranted. But Bucks’ still my least favourite main character sorry!