#the joy that comes when you stop surrounding yourself with people who ask you 'did they really do it?' and start talking to people who ask

[gayofthefae]

In a fight with Mike, El begs him to tell her he loves her and calls herself a monster. That fight is not about Mike or their failing romance; it is about her hating herself. It isn't about Mike; she wants it to be from Mike but it isn't about him. She believes that she is an unlovable monster and she just needs someone to tell her "you are not a monster, people have flaws and that is okay. I acknowledge that and still say: I love you." And guess what, her prayers have been answered:

"You speak of monsters and superheroes. That's the stuff of myth and fairytales. Reality, truth, is rarely so simple. People are not so easily defined." "I care[d] for you; I love[d] you."

And it is the most disgusting thing in the show. I have watched scissors in a back, burning flesh, rats explode into goo and eat people's faces. That is the most disgusting thing in the show.

And they know it. Because that's the point. She is disgusted by it. And it causes her to realize what she thought she needed was actually just what she wanted and she doesn't actually need it at all. She is fine without it and she can leave. It is a wake up call for her. And she does just that. She leaves. She leaves knowing her worth and she is lovable enough that she doesn't need him to love her, she can do it herself.

I've talked before about the many usages of "love" leading up to Mike's - Jason to Chrissy, Nancy and Jonathan, Max signing her letter to Billy, Jonathan to Will - but none of those actually matter too much in how it affects his words.

It doesn't matter that other people have already said it. It matters that El has already heard it by the time she gets Mike. And it is exactly what she wanted to hear. And she hated it.

Mike's words mean nothing now. Because if Brenner can say them and believe it, Anyone can. "I love you" is no longer some great feat. It's something you can be wrong about with your whole chest. Because they cracked open the door, made Brenner an easier to swallow gateway and said "Remember: nobody ever said it had to be true. They just said he had to say it."

[jigujellee]

COOL WITH YU

(gif creds here)

pairing : karina x fem!reader

summary : karina yu hates your guts, but she's starting to realize she doesn't. | read part 1 here!

word count : 5k 💀

warnings : mentions of death, mentions of gambling addictions, swearing, red flag step mom green flag dad, karina is just not good w her words, shitty non proof-read writing (im v rusty im so sorry)

your tears cascaded down your cheeks as you watched your father kneel beside your bedridden mother, gripping onto her hand as he sobbed uncontrollably. you both knew this day would eventually come; the doctors constantly reminded you of her poor prognosis but neither of you were ready to accept it.

your eyes shift from your father to your mother. you could tell she left peacefully seeing that her she had a faint smile on her face, one that you always loved to see growing up. as you admired her features, your chest begins to ache as her last words to you repeatedly echo in your head;

“you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, y/n. thank you for being my sunshine even on my darkest days. never forget that i’m always with you in here,” she says as she holds her hand to your chest and feels your heartbeat, causing a smile grows on her face.

“and i love you so much, my y/n. i always will even if we’re galaxies and dimensions apart”

it was too much to take in at the young age of 12. your mind was blank, not a single thought occupying your brain. you couldn’t process the fact that you’ve lost one of the most important people in your life on a random tuesday evening. it’s clear your father couldn’t handle it either, seeing how he hasn’t been able to stop his own tears since the time of death was announced. you move towards him and hug him from behind and you too start to sob with him.

naturally, it would take some time to truly accept the fact that your mother was gone. the pain still lingered for both you and your father but things were slowly shaping up. you found joy in the things you loved once again and you were able to surround yourself with people who cared about you. it wasn’t until your dad had announced that he would be getting married to a literal reincarnation of the devil that all the progress you were making had gone down the drain. how could he remarry so quickly, and to someone who wasn’t anything like your mother?

her name was lorraine. she used to work with your dad and kept seeing him after your mother’s passing. she seemed really sweet and caring at first but she was quick to show her true colours once she got with your dad. unbeknownst to the both of you, lorraine had a terrible gambling addiction. the anger on your dad’s face when he found out she used all the money your mom put away for your college tuition wasn’t even close to the anger you felt bubbling in your chest. to make matters worse, lorraine didn’t seem bothered by it at all nor did she give any indication that she would try and help earn it back, and you swore that you wouldn’t bother trying to include her in your life.

you didn’t have a large circle of friends so avoiding people was easy for you. if anything, you enjoyed roaming around campus on your own, trying to find undiscovered places to study and get work done. the only person you haven’t avoided was ryujin, a friend you met who lives a few dorms down from you, but that was only because she forces her way into your life and you just always seem to give in to her.

the two of you found a nice shaded area in the quad to try and study for your upcoming midterms. it was silent for the most part with the breeze and some birds chirping being the only thing you could hear, but that silence was broken when ryujin suddenly asks you a question.

“how come you don’t hang around karina anymore?”

the mention of her name is enough to make you stop writing notes. you take a brief look at her before smacking her on the arm, causing her to yelp.

“damn girl, i was just asking! no need to get violent,” ryujin rubs the now slightly reddened area in attempts to soothe the pain.

“but i brought her up because i think she’s worried about you. like, i swear i’ve seen her steal glances at you whenever you and i study at the library or whenever we pass by her”

“aw how sweet,” you say sarcastically, not even batting an eye towards your friend as you continue to focus on your notes.

“i swear i caught you looking back at her too at one point”

“okay, now you’re just being delusional”

“am i though?” the question is left unanswered and you force her to focus on studying. ryujin smirks at her small victory.

if you were in fact looking at the girl in question, it probably wasn’t even on purpose. besides, why would you even bother staring at someone who doesn’t care about you?

to say you were tired was an understatement; you were absolutely drained. studying for midterms and completing a handful of assignments meant that you were losing more and more sleep each night, and it was definitely catching up to you.

“you look like you died and were forced to come back to life,” ryujin jokes as she hands you a large black coffee and a red bull. was it healthy? definitely not, but you needed to stay awake during your classes.

“good morning to you too, jinnie. thanks for the energy”

“i know, i’m everyone’s ball of sunshine!” she yells, a bit too close to your eardrums for your liking.

“i meant the drinks, idiot”

“it’s okay, i know what you really mean” ryujin playfully nudges your side and you can’t help but playfully roll your eyes at her. you slide the red bull into your bag and take a sip of the coffee before dropping ryujin off to her class and making your way to yours. thankfully, your classes are in the same building so you don’t need to travel too far.

you quietly enter the lecture hall, your mind too occupied with what you were going to study next once you finished classes today. you plop yourself down in your usual seat, not paying much attention to the few students already there. it wasn’t until a granola bar was placed on top of the notes you were trying to read that you finally paid attention to something other than microbiology notes.

when you look up, your eyes are met with a girl sporting a jean jacket with a black tank top underneath matched with grey sweats and topped with a plain black yankees baseball cap. she looked like those girls on pinterest who had such simple but eye-catching outfits. when she looks up, you realize it’s the person you’ve been trying to avoid for days now. she doesn’t utter a word and makes her way down to her usual spot three rows in front of you. you stare at the granola bar for a moment as you mentally debate whether you should eat it or not. the professor’s voice catches you off guard and you quickly shove the granola bar into the front pocket of your bag, deciding to eat it sometime later when she wasn’t around.

this class is one of your favourites as you personally love learning about anything ancient greece, but today you find it difficult to pay attention in class. your eyelids are significantly heavier than usual and you feel your head start to bob up and down. you figure it shouldn’t hurt to close your eyes for a moment so you lay your head down behind your laptop to try and get some shut eye, but it doesn’t last long because you feel the neighbouring student nudge your elbow to which you jerk your head up and find the professor giving you a stern look.

“i asked you a question, y/n”

“i’m sorry, could you please repeat it?”

the professor sighs but continues on anyway, “which two generals were fighting in the second punic war?”

you knew the answer, you felt it on the tip of your tongue. but all you could do was let out a few “uhs” and “uhms” before a familiar voice speaks in your place.

“it was between scipio africanus and hannibal”

“well done, karina. i’d also like to remind everyone that sleeping in my class is not allowed. either show up to my class or don’t come at all, but i don’t want you to come in here and treat it like your bedroom,” the professor doesn’t break eye contact with you as he spoke to the class. you shrink back in your seat and keep your eyes glued to your laptop, failing to catch karina looking back at you with worry plastered all over her face.

luckily you were able to keep yourself awake for the remainder of the lecture after chugging down the coffee ryujin got you. once 3 hours have gone by and everyone is packing up to leave, the professor asks to have a word with you so you sit and wait for everyone to leave the lecture hall before making your way down towards the front of the class. your professor has already packed up and sits on the desk, swinging his legs back and forth like a child in a high chair.

“is everything alright, y/n?” he asks gently.

“yeah, i’m- i’m just exhausted. it’s midterm season and all the profs are dropping assignments left and right, and i thought i planned everything out properly but i’m a bit behind so i’ve been staying up late to finish things,” you ramble, pausing to catch your breath. “but this doesn’t excuse me falling asleep in your class, i’m sorry. it won’t happen again”

“it’s alright, i was just worried. i’m sorry for announcing it to the class, i didn’t realize what i said until afterwards which is why i wanted to speak with you briefly to apologize,” you give a small smile and tell him not to worry about it. he dismisses you and reminds you take breaks when you can. it felt nice to have a professor care for their students, which was another reason why you enjoyed this class so much.

you feel a bit better after speaking with your professor; your steps felt lighter and you suddenly felt energized to get some studying done so you plan to head for the library. but unfortunately, the campus goddess had also wanted to have a word with you after class seeing that she waited for you outside. you attempt to walk in the opposite direction but karina is quick to follow you with a skip in her step.

“hey, i practically saved your ass in there,” she boasts, now trying to walk backwards since you wouldn’t stop walking. “now we’re even after what you did last time” you felt your eyes roll at her comment and you pick up your pace to move past her and get to the library. you’re stopped yet again when you feel her slender fingers tightly wrap around your wrist, pulling you back to face her.

“can you stop ignoring me for once? i just want to talk to you”

“let go, you’re hurting me” karina looks down and her eyes widen at how strong her grip was on you, and she’s quick to drop your wrist.

“sorry. where are you off to in such a hurry anyway?”

“cut the bullshit karina, what do you want to say?” the purple haired girl purses her lips and inhales deeply through her nose before continuing.

“why do you have so much hatred towards me?” you look at her completely baffled, then laugh in disbelief.

“are you serious? you’re asking me why i hate you, when you’re the one who did it first? don’t you remember what you said to me when i was asked to help you with your catch up assignments? you said you were going to get your grade up, with or without my help, and then you’d be through with me. and let’s not forget all the times you shut me down when all i wanted was to be your friend and be close to you, yet you want to stand here in front of me want and ask why i hate you? damn i didn’t take you for an idiot, karina,” the last sentence struck a chord in the girl.

“excuse me?” it was karina’s turn to act baffled. “i was just stressed and having a really difficult time, but clearly you wouldn’t understand that because of how cold and ignorant you are,” she responds, voice slightly raised. if you think people weren’t staring at you before, they definitely were now.

“oh yes, because you, of all people, definitely understand how i’m feeling just because you overheard that one phone call, right? like be fucking for real” karina’s words begin to sink in and only then does she realize the weight of her words; this isn’t how she wanted this conversation to go at all. you walk closely towards her and you watch karina uncross her arms and keeps them at her sides once your faces are merely inches apart from each other.

“don’t make comments about my personal life because i don’t make comments about yours. (shoutout ate bobbie, iykyk) i never wanted to hate you karina, i’m just here returning the fucking favour,” you push past the girl and leave her in a now crowded corridor with people whispering around you trying to understand what just happened. the campus goddess clenches her fists and tries to fight back the tears that were forming in her eyes. she was reminded of when you yelled at her the last time, saying the same thing: that you wanted absolutely nothing to do with karina.

after your little spat with karina, your week has been anything but good. you lost all your motivation to study, you started to skip a few of your classes and opted to stay at your dorm because you couldn’t deal with any human interaction right now. you replay the fight over and over in your head, and you honestly find it hard to believe that one person can have such a drastic effect on your mood.

you stay in bed after hearing your alarm go off, staring at the ceiling. it’s been your dream to come to this school but you clearly weren’t enjoying the experience to the fullest. you’re miles away from your dad, you have a demon of a step mother, and the prettiest most popular girl on campus hated you and you still don’t even have any clue as to why. your first year at smu wasn’t anything like college life in the movies and a part of you was starting to regret coming here.

letting out a deep sigh, you turn to your side and find the framed picture of your mom sitting on your nightstand. you reach to grab it and gloss over her features, her smile standing out to you the most as many would say that you have her smile. tears start to trickle in and you pull the frame close to your chest, hoping that you could somehow feel the warmth of her hugs once more.

“i miss you so much, mom. i wish you were here to tell me things will be okay.”

you stay like that for a few minutes, your tears now drying on your face. you feel the weight of your eyelids become heavier and you could feel yourself drifting into sleep yet again, but your phone begins to violently vibrate. thinking you must’ve set another alarm by mistake, you reach to grab the device and find it’s not an alarm but a phone call. as you usually do with lorraine, you answer the phone but say nothing until she speaks first.

“i’ve been trying to call you for ages now! why aren’t you picking up your phone? i swear to god y/n, you will be the reason for your father’s death with all the stress you’ve been causing him!”

“how do you know you’re not the one causing him to stress?”

“please sweetie, you wouldn’t know how much i do for him since you rarely ever check in with us”

“oh i check in with him all the time, it’s just you i don’t check in with. you’re no one to me”

“you’re such an ungrateful little prick, you know that? you’re just like your mother, you’re both just so unreliable and you leave your poor father all alone here and-”

“god, just shut the fuck up!” you spring up in bed, clutching the picture frame tightly out of anger.

“my parents wanted me to come here! they knew it was always my dream to come to smu, but after your dumbass self spent all the money we had on your stupid gambling addiction, he had to work a shit ton of jobs just so he could pay for me to go to school! and what did you do? what did you do besides stay at home, unemployed, gossiping with your friends over the phone on the couch every fucking day?” your vision becomes more blurry by the second due to the new rush of tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

your relationship with your dad became a teeny bit rocky after announcing his marriage with lorraine, but it wasn’t completely terrible. you didn’t have the heart to hate your dad for meeting someone new. if anything, you understood that you had to rely on each other more than ever because he’s all you have left and you didn’t want some random lady to get in the way of that.

one day, your dad walks into your room and sits beside you on your bed where he hands you a plane ticket and what looked like an admission’s folder with smu’s crest on the front.

“i’ve saved up enough for your first two years, and i’ll continue working hard so you can finish altogether. i know it’s always been your dream to study at smu and i don’t want you to lose this opportunity because of financial setbacks”

“but i don’t want leave you here dad, i’m fine attending somewhere nearby. i just don’t want you to be alone with her,” you protest as you wrap your arms tightly around him. he leaves a soft kiss on your temple reassuring you that he’ll be fine, and made you promise to call him everyday.

“you’re going to make mom and i proud like you always do, y/n. don’t worry about me, just live your dreams for the both of us”

you aggressively wipe your eyes before continuing to yell into the phone mic.

“if you think you’re my dad’s knight in shining armour who saved him, then you’re so delusional. don't speak about me or my mother again, and for fuck's sake, stop calling me! i don’t need you to check in on me and i don’t need you in my life!” you hang up without letting her utter a word in, making sure to block her number right after. you fall back onto your bed with tears falling one after the other, these ones being out of anger and not sadness.

your phone begins to ring again and you nearly throw it across the room, but seeing that it was your dad calling, you immediately pick it up.

“hi my lo- wait, are you crying? why are you crying, what happened?”

“nothing dad, lorraine just called. again.” you hear your father sigh and watch as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“i’m so sorry sweetie, i tried making it clear to her that you didn’t want her contacting you, but she’s still stubborn as per usual”

“why are you still with her?”

“to be honest, i don’t know. if i knew she was going to act like this, especially with you, i wouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. i’m seriously considering filing a divorce,” his response slightly shocks you.

“well, don’t divorce her because of me. if you like her, then you like her and i don’t want to get in the way of that”

“honey, you know you come first before anything and anyone. both you and your mom,” you begin to feel a warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest at the mention of her. it’s silent for a moment before you ask a question you’ve been wanting to ask for sometime now.

“do you miss mom?”

“oh y/n, i miss her every single day. i still can’t find it in my heart to believe she’s really gone”

“you were so in love with her, weren’t you?”

“were? i am still very much in love with her. there is no one else in this world that could possibly make me feel the way your mother did. although there’s a possibility of meeting new people, no one else will come close to her” you smile at the words being spilled by your dad. it was so endearing to hear him speak about his love for your mom and it eases your mind knowing that he hadn’t easily replaced her with someone like lorraine.

“there’s the pretty smile i love so much,” you giggle at your dad's sudden comment, your eyes meeting his own along with his signature big and toothy grin.

“i love you dad”

“i love you too, sweetie. it’s you and mom in my heart forever, okay?” you nod your head and flash him another smile.

“i’m coming home once the semester ends so text me what you want me to bring home”

“that’s my girl! and don’t stress too much. i’m okay, you’re okay, and everything is going to be okay. i got you always,” he blows you a kiss and waves goodbye before hanging up, the anger from earlier dissipating almost immediately.

you don’t realize you’re still holding onto the picture of your mom even after both phone calls. you look at it one more time and replicate the smile that your mother had before giving the picture a soft kiss and placing it back in its spot on the nightstand. with a sudden surge of energy and motivation thanks to your dad, you decide to be productive today and start by cleaning yourself and your room, which was a complete disaster due to midterm season.

once you’ve finished your little reset moment, you hear a knock on the door. you weren’t expecting anyone so you’re taken aback slightly at the sudden visitor. twisting the doorknob with much hesitation, you open the door and find no one there to your surprise. you peek your head out and look in both directions to see who it was, but you only caught glimpse of what looked like a jean jacket turning the corner. at first, you think you were just being pranked but once you look towards the ground, you find a shin ramen cup and some spam with a sticky note reading “don’t skip your meals. you can’t live on coffee and red bull forever - rn” you bring the items in and begin to prepare the food while thinking of who rn could possibly be.

the following days were spent entirely in the library trying to catch up on school work. thankfully, you were able to get your assignments out of the way and you had time to focus on just studying now. you make your way to your usual spot in the library, large coffee in hand and headphones on your head, but you notice someone is already sitting there. you recognize the purple hair that was tied in a messy bun under a familiar black baseball cap. it had been awhile since you fought with the girl, so you were hesitant to approach her and tried to look for other seats in the library. to your demise, other tables and areas were fully occupied except for the seat across from her, so you walked towards the empty spot anyway.

karina has her headphones on as well so she doesn’t hear you approach her. she’s startled once she noticed someone take the seat in front of her, but she’s even more surprised at who takes the seat.

you don’t say anything and even avoid any eye contact with her, but you can feel her piercing gaze as she watches you like a hawk while you unpack your things. as soon as you get settled, karina takes her headphones off and taps you lightly on the hand, motioning for you to take your headphones off too indicating that she wanted to talk. you pause your song and take them off like she requested and karina takes a deep breath before speaking, as she usually does with you.

“i understand if you still do not wish to speak to me after this, but please hear me out this one time” she’s barely whispering and you need to lean in a bit closer to fully hear her. but you stay silent and she takes it as her cue to continue.

“growing up, my mom always pushed me to study and work hard. i rarely left my house, and if i did, it was just with family. when i came here to smu, i finally had the freedom to do whatever i want whenever i want, but unfortunately, that mindset of constantly needing to do well and staying independent still stays with me. i’ve lost a lot of friends because of it; i lost you because of it,” she shyly admits. “but that should not be an excuse for how i’ve been treating you since you got here, and i’m really sorry. you just wanted to be close with me and you wanted to help me but i pushed you away without any warning, which isn’t fair to you at all”

you nod your head when she spoke to show that you were really listening and trying to understand what she was saying. it takes some time to figure out what to say to karina, but she patiently waits for you to formulate your response which surprises her at first.

“you remind me of my mother. she was hardworking, independent, and very beautiful too,” karina’s cheeks feel warm at the sudden compliment and you try to hide your smirk when you see the tips of her ears go red.

“but just like you, she also pushed away those who cared about her the most. even when she was confined to a hospital bed, suffering and hurting, she always told my dad and i that she was fine with the biggest smile on her face. i knew she wasn’t, but she didn’t want us to worry. she didn’t want us to think about when her time finally comes” the girl stays silent just like you did, letting the words fully sink in as she waits for you to continue.

“but if there’s anything thing my mom taught me, it’s to not give up on people so easily which is why i kept trying to be friends with you. looking at it now, maybe i came off way too strong at first with all the gifts, and it’s my fault for not realizing that. but like you said, it doesn’t excuse your behaviour towards me” karina purses her lips and brings her head down, ashamed to face you because of her past actions. but she quickly shoots her head up and asks if there's anything she could do to make it up to you.

“let me take you on a date” karina’s eyes widen and her cheeks are fully flushed, you can’t help but smirk at the girl.

“a date? like, a romantic date? or-”

“it doesn’t need to be romantic. just two people, getting to know each other and seeing where it takes them” karina regains composure and tries to act like she didn’t just freak out a second ago.

“do you have a crush on me, y/n?” she says with fake confidence.

“you intrigue me," you admit bluntly. "i want to know more about the campus goddess and i’d be lying if i said i didn’t think of you from time to time”

“well, i could say the same thing. i wouldn’t have gone out of my way to feed you if i didn’t have any interest in you,” you raise your eyebrow in confusion, unsure of what she meant. you don’t recall talking to karina prior to this conversation so it was practically impossible for her to have fed you. it’s karina’s turn to smirk as she finds your confusion slightly amusing, but it immediately clears up once she messily attempts to write rn upside down in your notebook. you simply smile at the memory of finding food in front of your door.

the rest of your time in the library is spent studying because you learned you both had been slacking off due to the emotional distress of being angry at each other. you agreed to study for a few hours before grabbing a bite to eat together, and as you watch a focused purple-haired campus goddess scrunch her nose while trying to write her study notes, you realize that college was going to be one hell of an experience after all.

a/n: i am so sorry this took so long to put out.... but i hope u enjoyed it nonetheless :') i love u all sm

[alwritey-aphrodite]

POOKIE I HOPE YOUR EXAMS ARE GOING WELL ❤️❤️ if it’s ok I would like to ask for TASM!peter with 6- backyard party! thank you soso much hope everything is going amazing!

THIS IS LATE IM SORRY BUT MY EXAMS WENT VERY WELL AND I LOVE YOU

2024 Summer Blurbs

Big gatherings have never been Peter’s cup of tea, sitting around having mind-numbingly boring conversations with people he barely knows and hovering near the tables of food, counting down the seconds until it’s socially acceptable for him to leave. Even so, when you’d asked if he wanted to come with you to a family party, he hadn’t even hesitated before saying yes, pressing a kiss to your forehead like you’d just invited him somewhere fantastic.

When the morning of the party comes, Peter almost forgets what he’s getting ready for, so enamored with watching you fix your hair and find an outfit, his heart practically stops every time you ask for his opinion because you’re just so lovely he’s unable to handle it.

“This might be a little too scandalous for being around children, don’t you think?” You ask, turning this way and that while holding down the hem of the dress, as if you could magically make it longer. You don’t even wait for his answer, stepping back to the closet to find something else to wear.

By the time you find something socially acceptable to wear and make your way to the party, you’re more than a little bit late but Peter is secretly grateful for your tardiness, glad to be able to slip into the backyard mostly unnoticed as almost everyone is busy chatting and catching up with one another, far too engaged to notice everyone who slips through the back gate. Your hand remains firmly wrapped around his, and he’s grateful for both the anchor it provides and for your direction as you lead him to say hello to your family, eliminating the need for any awkward hovering.

“Here, have a seat and I’ll grab us some snacks,” you say as you push out a plastic folding chair next to one of your sisters before walking back towards the food, giving Peter no real choice but to sit. He’s met your sister before, if only through texts and calls, so the conversation is much less like pulling teeth than Peter had feared. By the time you return with two plates full of practically every food option, he feels more at ease than he ever could have imagined surrounded by people he barely knows.

The afternoon passes quickly, and Peter only checks the time once because you’d asked him too, and while you flutter away from time to time to say hello or goodbye to certain family members, you’re never gone for long and you always return to your seat by his side, sliding yourself seamlessly back into conversations and slotting your hand in his. It’s hot, but the tent provides much needed shade and you make sure Peter never has an empty drink for long. It’s a lovely afternoon of wonderful food and beautiful weather and company that doesn’t make Peter want to rip his hair out.

“Did you have a nice time?” You ask as you leave and the sun sets behind you, trying your best to sound casual but Peter notices the undercurrent of worry you’re trying to hide.

“Of course I did, I was with you,” he places a kiss on the side of your head so you know he’s nothing less than serious. And while the afternoon itself was more than Peter could have imagined for one of these parties, the best part was having you by his side and watching as you laughed and talked and ate, just radiating joy and acting as his own personal sunshine. He had such a good time he’d be your plus one to as many summer parties as you wanted.

[thestrawberrygirly]

★how to be confident like jin?★

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

♡ 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑎𝑢𝑡𝑦 ♡

compliment your beautiful self by embracing your incredible uniqueness.

"my body doesn't hit the beauty standards"

"i don't like the shape of my nose"

"my skin colour looks bad"

oh god girlies why to compare yourself from other people's beauties when your own makes you stand different from others? compliment your beautiful flaws and never stop affirming positive words to yourself, continue to speak the affirmations until it's printed in your subconscious mind. believe in yourself and love yourself eternally. you are inside and out extremely pretty, i hope you learn that <3

jin never looks bad on himself, he always makes sure to remind himself and others that he's the worldwide handsome jin . he is the best example of "loving ourselves" which we everyone should look upon. he is the God of inspirations, we can never be enough of his teachings♡

♡ 𝑖𝑔𝑛𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝚑𝑢𝑚𝑎𝑛'𝑠 𝑜𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 ♡

listen your inner mind and do what you love to do. don't bat an eye on whatever jealous people are trying to utter. don't ruin your bright aura by any useless human, instead surround yourself by the people who support you, who loves watching you progress. look yourself in the mirror praise your looks and eliminate anything said by people with negative aura.

whenever you feel affected by external influences, simply plug into your mind and listen to songs by BTS or any music that eases your mind. watch videos of BTS and become wholeheartedly inspired by them. i bet you won't regret it <3

♡ 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 ♡

always appreciate yourself in whatever you are doing, be it the littlest thing you did. never search for others' validation because your worth comes from within, and your efforts are valuable regardless of external recognition. even the little steps you take are important. believe in yourself and your abilities. celebrate every little success, because they show how hard you're trying. most importantly, always be kind to yourself and love who you are.

♡ 𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑛 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑠 ♡

it's important to learn from your failures or any rejection, getting experienced by these failures teaches you valuable lessons. when things don't go as planned, it's okay. instead of feeling bad about failing, try to understand why it happened. think about what you can do differently next time. maybe you can try a new approach or ask for help. each failure is a chance to learn and grow. So, don't be afraid to make mistakes. they can help you become better at what you do.

♡ 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑐𝚑 𝑗𝑖𝑛'𝑠 𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑦 ♡

matching jin's energy is about being positive and confident. try to smile and be cheerful like him. show enthusiasm in what you do and be proud of yourself. be kind to others and spread happiness. find joy in small things and share it with people around you. believe in yourself and your abilities.

dress yourself with a proper sense of your goodness to make yourself feel good. having a good body posture is essential too. exercise daily to stay healthy and strong. additionally, develop a hobby that makes your inner self glow. with these habits, your body will be healthy, and you'll radiate confidence and positivity.

𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑗𝑖𝑛 𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑎𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠. 𝑠𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑒, 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑙, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑤𝚑𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑟𝑒. 𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑞𝑢𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑠𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑡𝑜 𝑜𝑡𝚑𝑒𝑟𝑠. 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟, 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝚑𝑖𝑛, 𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑗𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑦. <3

- 𝘫𝘯𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦 🍓🧸🍰

[silvfyre-writings]

Never Give Up (Pokemon Fanfic)

I just finished Scarlet the other day, and I adore Grusha, and the small amount of backstory we got gave me the idea to write this fic! This is my first Pokemon fic, so it was rather terrifying to write, but hey, that's what writings all about sometimes.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy and feel free to leave a like (hell even reblog) if you enjoyed!!!

Pain.

Agony.

Fear.

Those were the three emotions running through Grusha’s mind as he lay, twisted and broken on the slope, half buried in snow, with the world slowly fading in and out. He struggled to recall what had led him to his current predicament; only a vague recollection of a Pokémon jumping out of the snow suddenly, and him trying to avoid colliding with it. He’d succeeded, because he wasn’t one of the top snowboarders for no reason, but something had gone wrong. The moment that he’d flung his board into a different direction, something in his leg snapped, and he was falling down the slope rather than sliding, pain shooting up his body each time his leg was jostled.

“Grusha, don’t move.” There was a hand on Grusha’s shoulder, the touch briefly taking his mind off the pain, the voice bringing him back from the brink of unconsciousness. He couldn’t tell who the hand, or the voice that had come with the hand, belonged to. But if they were telling him not to move, then it was probably wise to listen to them. He was hurting enough. “That’s it, kiddo. Can you open your eyes for me?”

Grusha could open his eyes, but he didn’t want to open them. The slightest movement brought pain, and he didn’t want to risk doing anything, especially now that the sharp, shooting pain had become more of an ache. A very prominent ache, but he’d take whatever he could get at this point. Instead, he grunted, to show the person that he could hear them.

But that wasn’t acceptable for the person talking to him, for a finger tapped his cheek. “Nah, that ain’t gonna cut it. Open them eyes for me, Grusha. You crashed bad. We need to make sure you didn’t hit your head.”

Grusha groaned, cracking one eye open, only to close it as he was assaulted by sunlight. In that moment, he forgot about the fact that he was hurt, and moved to bury his face into the snow, crying out when the movement jostled his leg, bringing back the pain that had just started to ease off. Nausea swelled within him, and he fought against the urge to bring up his lunch, breathing deeply until he could focus on something else other than pain.

And finally, he could open his eyes.

Now that he wasn’t looking directly into the sun, Grusha was able to see more of his surroundings, even though it was mostly snow. There were shadows above him—people that had come to his aid, and he recognized the familiar face of Ryme, Montenevera’s Gym Leader. The older woman had been one of his biggest supporters since he’d first gone pro, going to all his competitions when her obligations allowed her to. It was the joy—or frustration, Grusha didn’t yet know—of living in the lonely town at the top of one of Paldea’s mountains; everyone knew each other.

So it made sense why she was the one stopping him from moving. Ryme’s face, slowly wrinkling in her age, flashed him a smile. “There’s those eyes I was wanting to see.”

“Wha’ happen’…” Grusha asked. “There was… a Pokémon?”

“There was a Cetoddle in the snow. Something must’ve spooked it for it to have been hiding there.” Ryme explained. It was weird to hear the Gym Leader speaking so calmly for a change, instead of being so full of the usual excitement Grusha had seen in her battles. He didn’t like it.

“Oh.”

“You did good avoiding the little fella though. It didn’t get hurt, and you’ll soon be taken care of yourself. So don’t stress, and try to get some rest. The medics are on the way.”

Grusha nodded, able to hear for himself the sound of medics flying down the slope towards him. He’d seen it so many times over the years for other competitors, but never had they come for him. Until now. And that terrified him, because every snowboarder knew they only came out if you couldn’t get back up, and most of the time, those people never competed again. Tears welled in his eyes at the thought of his career ending before it had even truly begun, but he fought them back. Just because he’d been hurt, didn’t mean that it was the end of the world. Not yet anyway. He’d wait for a doctor to tell him how hurt he was before breaking down. For now, it was best to cling to hope, and hope that he’d be back on the slope in a few weeks—a few months at the latest.

“Mr Grusha, can you hear us?” Grusha looked over towards his left—as much as he could at least from his position—seeing the medics crouched beside him. He nodded. “Great, we’re going to try and get you out of here with as minimal pain as possible, but with the position you’re in, you’ll probably feel something.”

“Okay.” Grusha nodded again, tuning out the medics discussing how they were going to move him. He didn’t care, so long as he got off the slope.

But then they began to move him, and white-hot, searing pain shot up his leg, and Grusha found himself unable to hold back the cries of pain, or the tears that began to fall as a result. The world began to swirl around him again, voices muffling to the point he didn’t know if they were soothing or panicked. The one constant was Ryme’s hand on his shoulder, but not even that was enough to keep him tethered to the world of wakefulness. The darkness that was slowly encroaching upon him promised no more pain, no more agony.

So Grusha let it take him.

He could deal with the pain later.

“I’m sorry, Mr Grusha, but the damage to your leg is extensive. The surgery I suggested is to help you walk again, not get you back on a snowboard. I’m afraid with your kind of injury, snowboarding is no longer possible. I’m sorry it’s not the news you wanted to hear.” The doctor said, giving Grusha a look of pity he did not want.

Grusha turned his head away from the doctor, his eyes focusing on the bandages that prevented his leg from moving. Of course, the one time in his entire career that he crashes, it’s a career ending injury; but also, it’s the kind of injury that would affect his day-to-day life. It was the kind of injury that one would never wish upon someone, not even someone’s worst enemy. If only he hadn’t swerved to avoid that Cetoddle. If only he’d been a better boarder, because surely it wasn’t that hard to avoid a Pokémon?

“Mr Grusha?” He was torn from his melancholy by the doctor talking to him, who Grusha hadn’t been listening to if the doctor’s impatient tone was anything to go by.

“What?” Grusha snapped, lifting his gaze to glare at the doctor. Was it too much to ask for him to be given some time to process everything he’d been told?

The doctor sighed. “Will you go through with the surgery?”

“No. Why bother? Just leave me alone.” Grusha watched the doctor nod and then leave the room, promising to come back later. Only once the door was shut, did he let everything out. Tears that he’d been holding back ever since he’d woken up in the hospital, finally broke free and ran down his cheeks. Sobs tried to escape him, but he bit his lip to keep those to himself. The hospital staff and other patients didn’t need to hear him breaking. They had more important things to worry about, patients that were actually dying and in actual need. They didn’t need to worry about the athlete with a busted leg whose world had just ended.

The door opened again, and Grusha’s coach walked into the room, already chattering away about what they were going to tell his fans, what they were going to tell the world—at least that’s what Grusha thought the man was saying. It was hard to tell. He wasn’t able to focus on the words at all, instead staring blankly at the person in front of him. All his mind could focus on was his leg, and the accident that had led him to this situation.

“Please leave.” Grusha interrupted his coach. And while he’d normally feel bad about doing so, considering the man had been with him from the start, but he just wasn’t ready to deal with other people.

His coach frowned, looking rather concerned. “Grusha, it’s not the end the world. You—”

“Not the end of the world? Not the end of the world?” Grusha threw himself upright as far as he was able to, anger bubbling to the surface at the words that might’ve placated anyone else in that moment. But not Grusha. No, those words fuelled his anger, because his world had ended. He couldn’t be a snowboarder without his leg, it didn’t take a genius to figure that out. “It’s the end of my world! I’m never going to stand on a board again. What am I without my snowboard? I’m nothing, that’s what!”

“Grusha—”

“No! Just get out! Leave me alone! I’m not doing any media, or surgery, or whatever it is you think I should do!” Grusha yelled.

“Is there a problem?” Grusha stiffened as Ryme appeared in the doorway, glancing between Grusha and his coach. Understanding dawned on the elderly woman’s face, and she jerked her head towards the doorway behind her. “Out.”

Grusha watched his coach open his mouth to say something before the man gave up, storming out of the room with a big huff. Grusha fell back against his pillow with a huff of his own. “What are you doing here?”

Ryme made her way over to the lone chair in the room, dragging it over so that she could sit beside Grusha’s bed. “Heard ya yellin’ in the hallway, and thought I’d come see what the fuss was all about. That ya coach?”

“Yeah.” Grusha shrugged. “You can leave too. Don’t need to stay for me.”

“Now that’s a stupid idea if I ever heard one.” Ryme stretched in the chair, kicking her feet up onto the edge of the bed. It didn’t look at all comfortable, but he wasn’t about to say anything. If Ryme wanted to ruin her back by sitting stupidly in a chair, then he wasn’t about to stop her.

“Please go.”

“No.”

“Why not?” Grusha squeezed his eyes shut, annoyed that the Gym Leader was ruining the time he’d wanted to spend alone, pondering over everything. But it was clear that Ryme was here to stay; the woman wasn’t known for taking ‘no’ as an answer.

“Because.” Ryme said. “You’ve been cooped up in this room on your lonesome since you arrived—so I’ve heard, and you look like you’ve been told someone died. And now, I’m not your mother, nor am I your friend, but I am a familiar stranger, so if you wanna say something, then hit me with it.”

Grusha sighed and stared at the ceiling for a couple of minutes while Ryme sat there, patiently waiting for him to find his words. “I can’t snowboard anymore.”

“The doctor tell you that?”

Grusha nodded.

“What else did he say?” Ryme asked.

“Surgery can help repair the damage, but it’s not going to help me get back on a board. It’s just to help me walk again, apparently.” Grusha paused for a moment. “But I’m not going to do it.”

“You should. They wouldn’t recommend it if it wasn’t going to help you in the long run.”

“Why? I can’t snowboard again, so why even bother?”

“Believe it or not, Grusha, your career as a professional snowboarder might be over, but that doesn’t mean you’ll never snowboard again.” Ryme began to say.

“Wha—” Grusha went to ask, only to be interrupted.

“Uh, uh, uh, let me finish. You got hurt. The injury is bad. Your career is over. None of those things mean you can’t pick up a board again once you recover and ease back into it. Who knows, maybe you’ll be able to be a pro again?” Ryme said with one of her famous all-knowing smiles on her face. “Get the surgery, Grusha, recover from it, and fight for your dream. Don’t give it up yet until you know for sure you have to.”

“Fine.”

Fine, what?”

“I’ll get the god damn surgery.”

“Good kid.”

Why me? Why must I have the worst luck in the world?  Grusha thought as he lay in his bed, his leg once again wrapped—in a brace rather than bandages this time—with an ice pack balancing on it to ease the ache that had been throbbing for well over an hour now. He wanted nothing more than to go back in time and stop his injury from even happening in the first place.

For months, he’d put all his effort into his recovery. He’d gotten the surgery like Ryme had suggested, and he’d forced his way through the physical therapy that had followed, something the woman and doctors had neglected to mention until a nurse had come to collect him for it. It had been the hardest months of his life, and the most painful—even more so than the initial injury in his opinion.

But finally.

Finally.

He’d been able to walk out of that hospital with only a minor limp. That had left him feeling both relieved and excited for the next step; getting back on the board. Despite his doctors giving him a clean bill of health, Grusha had stayed away from the slopes for a few more months, wanting to give his leg the time it needed. Recovery took time, something that everyone told him whenever he wanted to go about things faster. And then one day, he’d felt ready, ready to try the slope again. Nothing too crazy, of course, but just getting on the board and going down the easiest slope of the mountain, had been his plan.

So, of course it had gone wrong.

Grusha had turned, a simple turn that he’d long since mastered, but that turn was all it took for his leg to buckle underneath him with a loud popping noise, and send him careening down the slope. This crash hadn’t been as bad as the one that had caused his initial injury since the slope was designed for children and beginners, but it was still bad enough that he knew moving his leg was a bad idea. It certainly hadn’t been as painful as last time, but it was still painful. The only positive to that day had been that there were other boarders on the slope, and those strangers had stuck with him until he’d been taken back to hospital.

Where he’d had to have another surgery, with an even longer recovery period. And this time, his doctor had told him none too gently, that snowboarding of any kind was out of the question, lest he risk doing more damage to his already battered leg. Which Grusha already knew; his leg could barely support him this time round, even after the surgery, so there was no hope of him ever getting back on a board.

Ryme had tried to see him, as had his coach, but Grusha had refused all visitors. He hadn’t wanted anyone to see how broken he was on the inside. And once the hospital had discharged him and he’d made his way home, that hadn’t changed. His friends and fans kept trying to reach out to him, sending him ‘get well soon’ messages, but Grusha couldn’t care less about them. He couldn’t bring himself to care much about anything other than making sure that he always had an icepack on hand for his leg when the pain got too much to handle.

His life had become a meaningless routine now; wake up, eat, get out of bed, go back to bed, take meds, and sleep. For days that was how Grusha lived—if one could even call it living. Until the one day, where he’d felt well enough to get up and drag his television from the living room into his bedroom, that his routine was interrupted.

“Grusha! I’m coming in!” Grusha groaned as he heard his front door open, and Ryme’s voice echo throughout his home. He didn’t even know how the woman had gotten into his home, nor did he really want to. Either way, he was changing his locks.

“Are you sure we should just be invading his space like this?” A stranger’s voice, one that Grusha had never even heard before, questioned the Gym Leader that was currently invading his home.

“Relax, it’s the benefits of a small town. And I know he’s here. Kid hasn’t left his house since he was discharged.” Grusha heard Ryme say, the footsteps growing ever closer to his room. And because he knew that Ryme wouldn’t stop until she’d found him. “Ha! I told you he’d be here!”

Low and behold, there the woman was, standing in the doorway looking like she hadn’t just broken into his home. Behind the Gym Leader was a shorter woman… man, Grusha couldn’t really tell at first glance. Not that he even cared. “Get out.”

“No can do, kiddo.” Ryme grinned at him, which just made Grusha’s mood even worse. “Relax, I’m here on Gym Leader business.”

“I don’t want to hear it.” Grusha huffed. “Just leave me be.”

“Wow, you are a delight.” The stranger said, stepping forward with an intrigued look on her face. “When Ryme told us about a potential replacement for Glaseado Gym, I wasn’t expecting to meet Paldea’s champion snowboarder.”

“What?” Grusha was confused. Glaseado Gym? Replacement? He wasn’t a Pokémon trainer; he didn’t even have any Pokémon to call his own. He was—he had—been a professional athlete. There hadn’t been time in his life for him to even consider training up Pokémon to have by his side. And Ryme wanted him to become a Gym Leader? This had to be some kind of joke. “If this is some kind of sick joke, just get out.”

“Calm down, will you?” The stranger, a woman, Grusha realized now that she was standing closer to him. “My name’s Rika. I’m a member of Paldea’s Elite Four. Normally, Geeta, the Champion, would be the one to do this, but she’s busy with other work, so she sent me to come check you out instead. The current Gym Leader of Glaseado is looking to retire, and Ryme recommended you.”

“Why?” Grusha asked. Why him, of all people? Surely there were other people, actual Pokémon trainers, that would be better suited to the position of Gym Leader.

Ryme let out a sigh, her smile dropping just the tiniest bit as she glanced towards his leg. “Because, Grusha, your world’s been turned on its head, and not in a good way. I simply wanted to offer you something that might be able to ease that pain.”

“But… I’m not a Pokémon trainer.”

“Glaseado’s Gym Leader isn’t retiring just yet, so you’ll have time to gain the skills necessary to take over.” Rika explained.

“And you can start with this little guy!” Ryme pulled out a Poké Ball and released the Pokémon within it.

It was a Cetoddle.

“Is that…?”

“The same Cetoddle that caused your accident? No. At least, I don’t think so. I caught it on my way over here. It’ll be a good first partner for you.” The smile had returned to Ryme’s face, and she reached over to place the ball into Grusha’s hand. “I’ll leave you to think about it.”

The door shut behind the Gym Leader, and now it was just him and Rika, the silence that followed a rather awkward one. Grusha didn’t know why the Elite Four member was sticking around; it wasn’t like they knew each other. Instead, Grusha turned his attention towards the Cetoddle that was staring at him with its large eyes. The Pokémon blinked, before giving him a toothy grin. It was cute, and Grusha couldn’t help but smile and reach over to pet it.

“Here.” Grusha looked up to see Rika holding out some kind of blue stone towards him. “Cetoddle evolves using an ice stone, so if you choose to take up our offer and train up this little guy, use that stone to evolve him. He’ll become even stronger.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“You should do it. Become a Gym Leader I mean.” Rika went on. “I’ve seen your competitions; you have the passion we’re looking for. And, you know, just because you got a busted leg, doesn’t mean you have to give up on living.”

Grusha threw his harshest glare towards the woman. “If that’s all you’re going to talk about, get out. You don’t know me.”

“You’re right. I don’t. But what I do know, is that there is a part of you that doesn’t want to give up just yet.” Rika shrugged, turning to leave the room. “Anyway, nice to meet you, Grusha.”

Grusha let out a sigh as the door shut behind Rika, leaving him alone with his new Pokémon companion. Cetoddle chirped at him, reaching its arms up towards him. He leaned over and helped the Pokémon climb onto his bed, and couldn’t help but smile as it lay down beside him. Ryme was right about one thing at least; Cetoddle would make a good first partner. It lived in the harsh, snowy regions of Paldea, which already meant that it was strong. And like his coach always used to say; training made you stronger, so together, he and this little Pokémon might just actually become something.

Was it what he wanted to do? No. If he physically could’ve, he would’ve stuck with snowboarding. Nothing, not even Pokémon could make him ever give up the sport. But because of his injury, he’d had to give up the sport he’d loved since he was old enough to stand on a board, and that was just something he was going to have to learn to live with. It sucked, and it wasn’t fair, but life wasn’t always fair.

Rika was right; he did have the passion to find something else in his life, he just had to take the first step towards it. “Come on, buddy.” Grusha recalled the Cetoddle to its ball, and dragged himself out of bed. He limped as fast as he could across the room, making his way out of his house for the first time in over a week. Grusha shivered as the cold assaulted him; his indoor clothing not suited for the cold wind. His eyes were quick to spot Rika and Ryme heading back the way they’d come, and Grusha hurried to catch up with them.

“I’ll do it!” Grusha shouted, drawing the attention of the two women. “I’ll become the next Gym Leader!”

[brokenhardies]

A Change In You (Feel So Alive)

Summary: DW Spoilers. A collection of segments from various parts of the Fifth Jane’s memory, all around one small moment

Word Count: 1031

titled after change (in the house of files) by deftones bc i have no chill

Taglist

@darth-caillic​ @sterling-writes​ @wonderguards​ @reirvival​ @arrthurpendragon​ @foxesandmagic @eddysocs @superspookyjanelle (want to be added or removed? send an ask or a dm!)

The Doctor never stayed. Jane was aware of that. Always bouncing around universe to universe and coming back to Earth with a snap of his fingers. She vaguely remembered Trenzalore, but even then, he kicked her out before she could stick around - probably proving that he wanted her to be like him. Always travelling but never staying. He only stayed for Christmas dinner once, with Amy and Rory, and probably never stuck around since that was the year before they ‘died’ of old age. 

Jane had been aware of that when the Toymaker stopped her heart in place, brainwashed her to be his perfect little soldier. She didn’t remember what she did while under his command, but the second she broke free of his shackles she asked the Doctor - the old one with his spikey hair and pinstripe suit and thin legs - if there was any way to repay their families. 

The new one said no, that was UNIT’s job. He’d moved on. Which was good, finally.

The Doctor had always seemed stuck in the past – memories and faces that darted around like flashes on a TV screen. She’d met the old man - his first incarnation - grumpy and uptight but with a trickster’s grin that proved to her that he was her dad. The cricketer was an interesting man - with celery on his lapel, no screwdriver and a surprisingly mature demeanour, considering that the Doctor told her that he had been young before the ‘time crash’ happened. War was… War, forever stuck between life and death, peace and sanity, the name of the Doctor. Then there was pinstripes and scruffy charm, bowties and alien joy with deer-like dexterity, punk music and Scots accent, forever grumpy at the world but caring behind the scenes… And her. Her mother, all colour and brightness and joy. 

Jane didn’t have time to grieve her before the reprise. Didn’t have time to grieve the Flux, or the Timeless Child, or the lie that had surrounded her origin. Both her and the Doctor. But that didn’t matter - back into the breach, it seemed. 

He was always running, and dear God, she just wanted him to slow down… Which was probably why the Toymaker saw her as a perfect specimen for his stupid, foolish game… Until she let go. If Donna and Rose could let go of the Metacrisis, so could she! And she did, letting go of all the grief and anxiety and the anger at the lies and the bitterness at her parent for not stopping. 

Before she regenerated, she remembered all the people she’d lost up until this point - Rose, Amy, Rory, Clara, Bill… Jenny, who was like a sister to her and that she hadn’t thought of or heard from in such a long time. It was a leap of faith, she stepped into the edge, feeling her body morph and change as she broke the porcelain trap…

And there she was. Lost, confused, standing in the UNIT control room in her old clothes and a new body. Able to control her movements, she ran to get to the Galvanic Beam before he did and–

Zap. Her first words were a cry of “No!” He’s had enough pain, can’t you let him rest? She was held back by guards and screamed “Let me go! I need to see him!” as the Toymaker taunted and taunted and taunted and– It was too late. He was going to change, again, and live with all that grief and guilt and torment…

“Unless…” A familiar voice - her previous incarnation - reminded her, “He can finally let go.” 

It seemed like a ridiculous conception. The Doctor? Letting go? Of all the grief and torment and pain? We’d be stuck up here for aeons before he did that… And then, the new Doctor’s head popped out of the old one’s shoulder. 

“And in years to come you might find yourself revisiting a few, but just the old favourites, eh?” Was what the Curator had said to the Doctor, what felt like all those years ago. Jane - then James, still reeling from regeneration energy - probably didn’t realise why he’d said that. Why he’d specifically mentioned the ‘old favourites’. Regeneration for her was like coming out of a long nap, waking up disoriented and unable to feel correctly. 

And when she saw the Tenth face again, she didn’t put two and two together… Until that happened. Until Fifteen came crawling out of Fourteen’s shoulder, pulled by her and Donna and Mel, in what was supposed to be a myth - but honestly, considering the pair’s track record, most myths were made to be proven. Ten didn’t want to go… And Fourteen got to stay. 

It took a while for him to realise, up until Donna dropped all pretence and just admitted that the face came back to stay for once. Jane never thought she’d say this to the man who turned her into a living doll and weaponized her guilt and anger as brainwashing tools, but thank you Toymaker for giving them that hammer, she wasn’t sure how the Doctor would live without the TARDIS - his wife, his sexy. 

When the new one said that Sarah-Jane was gone, Jane may have teared up. Sure, she wasn’t Jane’s biological mother, but she was the closest thing Jane had to a mum for the formative years of her life. And she loved her. The Doctor loved her - even if he dropped her off in the wrong location. He never said it out loud until today, and hearing both of them say it? Warmed her heart. 

Then, off he pops, back to Earth, brand new TARDIS and all. They get the one with the jukebox though - it seemed like something they’d both enjoyed - and as the new Doctor - her new Doctor - flicks the switch… Jane talked for what felt like the first time in ages.

“So…” She swallowed, new voice was hard to get used to, especially one without an accent that matched her dad’s, “Where are we going?”

“Somewhere amazing.” He grinned. 

“...Yeah, after you get dressed.”

He snorted. “You still look like a craft store threw up on you.” “And you’re still not wearing pants.”

[anonymousewrites]

Curse to My Heart Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight: In the Castle

            Loki kissed (Y/N) softly, pouring all the love he had for her into a single act. As their lips touched, a green glow surrounded them, making Loki pull back in surprise. Beneath his clothes, from within his chest, his heart shone a brilliant emerald. (Y/N)’s heart lit up just the same, as bright as Loki’s as magic flowed through them.

            Loki’s eyes widened, and he held (Y/N)’s hand tightly as the powerful magic wound around them. Slowly, it died away, leaving them in the same position they were in before. Hesitantly, Loki leaned forward and rested a hand on (Y/N)’s cheek.

            Her eyes fluttered open. Loki’s heart leapt for joy as her beautiful (E/C) eyes stared up at him, a sight he thought he’d never see again. But now she was awake.

            True Love’s Kiss had broken the spell.

            “Loki…” murmured (Y/N), a smile appearing on her face as she saw him.

            “(Y/N)…” he breathed.

            And then he was pulling her closer, wrapping her in his arms, kissing her again. And (Y/N) was kissing him back, her arms thrown around his neck, pressing against him. The exhilaration of True Love did not leave with the magic, no, it remained in them as their hearts sang with joy over finding their soulmate, their other half.

            “I thought I had lost you,” whispered Loki against (Y/N)’s lips.

            “Never, never,” promised (Y/N), kissing him fiercely.

            “I’m so sorry for all I did…I swear, I searched for any way to break the curse, even before Peter’s eighteenth birthday came,” swore Loki.

            “I know, Loki. I understand,” said (Y/N).

            “Oh, God, when I learned you were asleep…” Loki pressed a particularly passionate kiss upon her lips. “I thought I would die of grief.” He caressed her face. “I thought I had I had lost the person who mad me a better man. I thought I had lost the most important person in my life.” Loki kissed her. “God, I love you.”

            (Y/N) smiled against his lip and kissed Loki back. “And I love you, Loki. More than I can express.”

            Loki laughed with joy. “I feared you hated me for being unable to stop the curse. I thought I had no hope of waking you.”

            “I thought I had no hope of being woken,” admitted (Y/N). “I never thought that you could love me, a poor human.” She smiled. “It seems we were both wrong.” After another moment of gazing softly at each other, (Y/N) looked around herself. “Wait…how did I get here? I fell asleep in my quarters.”

            Loki held her hand tightly. “Quentin was hiding the truth from his people. He is pretending the curse didn’t come to pass, that I was weak. Peter tried to help you, but Quentin realized he could use you to draw me out because I love you.”

            “And you still came to find me? Even though it puts you in danger and you didn’t know I loved you?” asked (Y/N) in surprise.

            “Anything for you,” said Loki.

            (Y/N) smiled. “Now, let’s go. I’d much rather be romantic somewhere where we aren’t in danger of being killed.”

            “Are you promising more romance, then?” asked Loki slyly, a smirk upon his lips.

            “Get us home, and we’ll see,” said (Y/N).

            Home. The cottage. The fae woods. The places they were safe and free to be themselves.

            Bang! The door flew open again, and the pair jumped in surprise and worry that Quentin was upon them. They relaxed as they saw it was just Sylvie, MJ, and Peter.

            Loki glared at Sylvie. “I told you to guard the royals.”

            Sylvie rolled her eyes. “I’m guarding them here, and you were being stupid to go by yourself. They would have come if I left them there anyways.”

            “(Y/N)!” said Peter happily, rushing past the fae to hug her.

            “Hey, Peter,” said (Y/N), smiling as she hugged him back.

            “I knew Mr. Loki would save you!”

            (Y/N) blushed, as did Loki, but he said, “Yes, yes, you were right. Now let’s get going before all of us are caught.”

            “Right,” said (Y/N). She caught a sword Sylvie tossed to her.

            “Any sign of Quentin yet?” asked Loki.

            Sylvie shook her head. “I suspect waiting to ambush.”

            Loki nodded. “Undoubtedly. We’ll have to be careful.”

            (Y/N) leveled a glare at the young adults. “And you two, stay behind us. You were stupid to come and fight. You’re grounded after this.”

            “What? I’m an adult,” cried Peter.

            “Not until you don’t do stupid shit like this,” muttered (Y/N).

l

            As they walked carefully through the halls, they were well aware of how unnaturally quiet. They were walking right into a trap, but there was nothing they could do. As the group walked into the Great Hall, Loki stopped. He and Sylvie could feel the heat of iron surroundings. The trap was upon them.

            “Hello, Quentin. Are you going to hunt me from the shadows like a coward or are you going to face me like the brave king you are?” challenged Loki.

            “I am going to face the monster who cursed an innocent child and now has him under some spell because his first didn’t work,” said Quentin, stepping into the light. Behind him, a squad of men appeared. From the light of the sunset, Quentin’s iron armor and weapon glinted menacingly.

            “I’m not under a spell!” cried Peter. “I just know what a monster you are.”

            (Y/N) pushed Peter behind her. “Sylvie, make sure Peter and MJ are okay, no matter what happens.”

            Sylvie, who ordinarily hated taking orders, nodded. She had a secret soft spot for kids (even if the pair weren’t actually kids, compared to the immortal fae they were children). “Of course.”

            “He has twisted your mind!” Quentin dramatized the ordeal to keep the attention and public opinion in his favor. “Just like that poor woman, he has corrupted your mind.”

            “The only one corrupted is you, by your thirst for power,” snapped (Y/N), standing next to Loki.

            “I will defeat that evil King of Fae and free the innocents in his grasp!” announced Quentin. “Men! Protect my son, the Princess, and that poor woman! Handle the other fae! I shall defeat Loki.”

            The squad of men surged forward with their iron weapons, and the battle began. MJ pulled Peter back so they could escape as (Y/N) had ordered them to do. They were too young and inexperienced for this fight, plus they could be used as hostages by Quentin, so while they had good intentions and wanted to help, their best chance of aiding (Y/N), Loki, and Sylvie was to run and make sure the horses were ready for their escape.

            Sylvie twisted around and transformed into a large snake, hissing and rising above the fighters as they tried to stab through her tough scales with burning iron. Many of the men went flying from her attack, making the number of enemies left dwindle significantly. (Y/N) blocked some of attacks they aimed at Sylvie as well as the attempted sneak-attacks on Loki. However, she couldn’t defend against the volley of arrows shot into Sylvie’s hide. A loud hiss echoed around the room as she writhed above them.

            Due to the iron, Sylvie was forced to transform back into her human form. She collapsed to the floor from the pain, but she still smirked in satisfaction as she saw the destruction she had caused and the many men injured and knocked out due to her attack.

            Quentin’s men advanced on Sylvie’s prone form, but (Y/N) moved in front of her quickly. The men hesitated seeing the supposedly “brainwashed by magic” woman stood so ready to fight them. Their hesitation was a mistake. (Y/N) grinned as she saw their reluctance and struck first. Her first opponent was caught off guard and fell immediately, but the next few scrambled to properly defend themselves.

            (Y/N) was not deterred, though. Even when one armored man grabbed her, she kicked another in the chest and then let herself go limp. The man holding her was unprepared to suddenly support her deadweight and fell down with her. (Y/N) rolled out from under him and kicked him in the head to knock him up.

            “Unusual method,” muttered Sylvie, dragging herself farther away from the fight, hissing as her wounds ached.

            “Yeah, well, I’m not exactly formally trained, are I?” shot back (Y/N).

            She dodged an attack before striking another man. The slash went through his dominant arm, making him drop his sword, and (Y/N) slammed the hilt of his sword into his head. Two more men to go. One went for (Y/N), the other for Sylvie.

            (Y/N) ducked the attack from the first and moved behind him quickly. She kicked him into the other man so that both fell to the floor. Sylvie forced herself to her feet and picked up a sword. Luckily, the leather in the hilt let her lift it, and she struck the men to end the fight. (Y/N) caught Sylvie before she collapsed again from her injuries.

            “Damn, I wanted to be in this fight,” cursed Sylvie.

            “You took out like twenty in five minutes, I’d say that’s a win on your part,” said (Y/N). She picked Sylvie up and put her right outside the door of the Great Hall. “Alright, stay here. If you feel better, get out to MJ and Peter.”

            “If I feel better, then I’m coming back to fight,” grumbled Sylvie.

            “I’ll give you money if you feel good enough to fight with those wounds,” said (Y/N). She put her own sword down next to Sylvie so that she had a weapon that wasn’t iron (that way she wouldn’t accidentally injure herself in a fight).

            “Don’t get yourself killed in there,” muttered Sylvie as she saw (Y/N) get ready to return to the fight.

            “Don’t go soft on me,” joked (Y/N).

            “I’m serious,” said Sylvie. “If you get killed, it will break Loki’s heart.”

            (Y/N)’s eyes softened. “Right.”

            “Now go help him kick that asshole of a king’s ass,” said Sylvie.

            (Y/N) grinned. “It will be my pleasure.”

            While (Y/N) and Sylvie had their fight, Quentin and Loki approached the large balcony in their fight. Quentin thrust his sword at Loki, who dodged and summoned his magic. Back and forth it went. Quentin had seen Loki’s magic long enough to be able to avoid it or block the spells that could be, and Loki knew Quentin’s moves and was a skilled fight so he could fight back expertly even in a human way.

            “This time, I’m going to kill you,” said Quentin fiercely.

            “You can try,” retorted Loki.

            “Oh, really?” Quentin glanced up as they approached the doorway. “Now!”

            Men hidden in the shadows let go of the large rope that was holding a metal net above the doorway. It fell and landed on Loki. The iron burned into his skin, and he cried out as he crumpled to the ground. (Y/N) arrived back in the hall in time to see the trap fall.

            “Loki!” she cried.

            The small group of men who had been holding up the metal net advanced on her, but she defeated them quickly as she went running to Loki’s side. Quentin had raised his sword, preparing to bring it down on Loki and kill him. (Y/N) jumped between them and blocked the attack.

            “Get out of the way, girl!” hissed Quentin, pressing down with his sword.

            “Go to hell,” hissed (Y/N), eyes narrowed in determination.

            She lifted a leg and kicked Quentin back. The king stumbled, and (Y/N) turned around to try to pull the iron net from Loki.

            “(Y/N),” cried Loki in warning through his pain as Quentin got back up and attacked.

            (Y/N) rolled to the side to dodge his sword. Getting up, she scrambled backwards again as he continued to come at her. Quentin backed her into the wall and held the sword to his throat.

            “You’re going to regret going against me,” hissed Quentin.

            “Like hell I will,” spat back (Y/N). “You’re an asshole, and I’m always up for rebelling against tyrant kings.”

            Quentin narrowed his eyes and moved his sword to her chest. The blade cut into her. He was going to kill her.

            “No…no,” groaned Loki, trying to escape the burning loops of iron keeping him from protecting his love.

            “True love can’t save you from stab wound, can it?” sneered Quentin.

            “I don’t need it to,” responded (Y/N).

            She caught the blade between her two hands, holding tight to the flat of the sword. As Quentin struggled to press the sharp edge into her, (Y/N) fought to keep it back. As they struggled, (Y/N)’s eyes tinted with a blue glow. Blue light surrounded her hands, and the pressure of the power she was summoning cracked Quentin’s blade.

            For a moment, there was nothing. Quentin’s eyes widened. (Y/N)’s focused in on him with forceful intent. Loki watched in shock.

            And then the iron sword shattered. Quentin fell backwards as (Y/N)’s magic exploded outward. The force of the unbridled power broke his armor. All that was left was a man cowering away from the woman before him.

            (Y/N) ran to Loki and pulled the iron off of him. She didn’t have to worry about being attacked; the battle was over. Quentin lost.

            Loki sighed in relief as the metal was removed from his skin. He hugged (Y/N) tightly and kissed her forehead. “You did so well, darling.”

            (Y/N) grinned. “Well, I had to return the whole ‘saving your life’ favor.” She shrugged. “And it was fun to kick his ass.”

            “You were incredible at kicking his ass,” said Loki, kissing her. “I admit, I found it that strength quite attractive.”

            (Y/N) smirked. “Did you?”

         ��  “Well, I find all of you attractive,” said Loki.

            “I have to admit, the magic was a little bit of a surprise,” said (Y/N).

            Loki took her hands and examined them as if he could sense the magic within them. “I don’t know if it is residual from the curse or if it was already yours, brought out by the stress of the situation, but I will help you control it.”

            “We’re going to be a power couple in more ways than one,” teased (Y/N).

            “I was thinking perhaps King and Queen,” offered Loki.

            (Y/N) blinked. “What?”

            “Well, I suspect that Peter will ask you to help him learn to real the human kingdom properly. And as my love, you rule the Fae lands with me.” Loki helped (Y/N) stand before kneeling before her. He put a hand on his heart and bent forward. “My Queen.” He reached out, took her hand in his own, and kissed it.

            (Y/N) smiled and held his hand firmly, guiding him to his feet to. “My King. My love.” She kissed him.

[wonderfuldeath]

.o| First Day. |o.

Jimin x Reader, Gender Neutral Y/N

Warnings : Past Death, Holidays, Cheesy

Part of a Christmas Calendar

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]

[13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22]

[23] [24]

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"- He will not come back. ”

Of course, you know that he will not come back, that it was surely only a utopia, but it tenses you. Maybe people were wrong, maybe he was going to come back, as bright as before, as beautiful and tender as the first time you met. You just nod your head, swallowing the bitterness that inhabits you while your eyes look outside: there is snow falling.You still imagine the footsteps in the snow and the laughter of the children. Winter was a wonderful time, everything was covered with white, the decorations of the holidays were seen everywhere and the joy of people permeated the surroundings. But it wasn't your case, this kind of moment didn't really touch you anymore, it was a little above you. Because you knew that he would no longer be there, that Christmas would no longer go as you liked to do before. Because your loved one had disappeared a year ago and you had the impression that whatever you were facing, you couldn't stop people from talking. It was like being locked in a loop that never keeps silent, people didn't want you to forget, while continuing their lives. And you almost feel suffocating every time you think about turning the page. Tell you that the world couldn't ask you to stop think about it. A breath, a little tired passes your friend's lips. He had always been there for you, a pillar when your world was to stop spinning, when your phone rang, at two o'clock in the morning, telling you that things would never be the same ever again. Your lover had an accident, he was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, telling you that he would only come back the next day, looking for the perfect gift for the holidays. He had found, and had to pay for it with his life. However, you still wear the jewel, the only thing you could have recovered, the rest was to seal in cold boxes, locked in a cellar. And just the memory brings back your tears. He was going to propose to you. And you would surely have said yes, because a wedding under the snow, there was nothing more romantic. Your fingers are clenched on your arms, while you hold your sob, collapsing once again.

"- You should go out and ventilate a little, don't you think?

- What would I find outside? You say it yourself, he won't come back.

- Maybe, but he would have liked you to go out, not let yourself die. ”

And he's right, it frustrates you to tell you that he was right. But it kills you to tell yourself that you were going to continue to live when he wasn't. It was almost annoying. This strange impression that no one understands you takes you to the throat like a terrifying snake, and finally you abdicate, today you didn't want to fight. Outside, your nots sink into the snow, it having made a deadly mud because of salt and frost. It was the right time for long walks, the lighting was magical. But you know it was much prettier at night, when you can see all the magic of Christmas decorations, reminding you of good memories, the taste of sugar and the desire for hot chocolate in front of boring movies and how cliché. But at the same time, it hurts you. Because you lived these moments with the loved being. And now that he was no longer there, then the hot drink did not feel the sam, the taste of sugar had to gone bland. And boring movies would no longer have the same effect. A deep sigh, you regret having followed your friend, who drags you to all the shops he finds interesting. Like you were doing a marathon.

"- Wait for me here, I have for five minutes!

- Why don't we go together?

- Because. Wait, do you want to? ”

Your eyes rise to the sky, and you tell him that you will be in the book section. Because literature was almost a religion. The smell of new books, the sweetness of a cover and the desire to read a new story that would take you away from your world. Caught in your thoughts, you don't notice that you are not alone and your hand hits against the warm hand of the stranger, which surprises you both. Your eyes intersect and the first thing that strikes you are the little eyes of the man, a little bigger than you. His shy smile almost made them disappear under his cheeks. And you can only find him adorable.

"- Excuse me, I didn't see you. Go ahead, I'll take another one.

- Unfortunately, this one is the last of the department.

- Oh. Too bad then.

- I didn't really want it, you can have it. ”

Your gaze rests on him, pointing out that he was a very bad liar. He has a fleeing look, and he seems to try not to really look at you. He was really so cute, and this thought squeezes your throat. Your eyes land on the book as you pull it from the ray, reading at an angle, not hanging any words before finally reaching it to him, visibly surprising him.

"- This is not my kind of literature.

- Really? I don't want you to force yourself.

- It's okay. I assure you. ”

Your sincere smile seems to reassure him as he takes the book, looking at it much longer than you, and you can't help comparing it to your former partner. He was a bit the same in his facial expressions, of course physically they didn't really look alike. Your lover was a little taller, he had rounder eyes. But he had the same way of being, the shy one of an introvert. You had met him a little in the same way as him, and you told yourself that fate had a bitter humor. When your eyes cross, you slap yourself mentally, apologizing to half a word before looking at the rest of the shelf, looking for something else to occupy your mind and hands. It was a really strange situation, a heavy silence, and you don't know if you should talk a little more to sink yourself a little more or just let the silence continue. And finally he is the first to break it, with a voice of course not sure, he shows you a new book, resembling the other.

"- This one looks good.

- The coverage seems to be in fact. ”

The book is rather banal in reality, a blue cover, and a big image of a penguin on the front cover, which surprises you both. A crazy laugh, as you read the back cover between two sneers. Forgetting the shyness and weight in your chest. An impossible love story between a penguin and a whale, pointing out that the poor book must surely have been abandoned on the shelves by someone who obviously did not have any sense of respect. However, you don't want to put down the book, not being able to let go of it. Even if it was a child's book, and not completely your kind of reading, their love stories intrigues you, and you hope it ends well.

"- You are here! I've been looking for you for a while now.

- Excuse me, I let myself be carried away by the books. ”

You kindly wave to the man, who answers you with a small light smile, before leaving his company. Your mind is no longer completely focused on pain and remorse, but on this new encounter that, you don't know why, makes you feel better. You are more open to conversation, even laughing a little timidly with your friend, as you leave the store. Tell you that in the end, it wasn't such a bad thing to get out.

-X-

"Do you have everything you need?

- I think so. ”

The sleeves of your jacket straighten to your elbows, you go around the empty room that resonates, checking that you have taken everything, thus ensuring that you do not leave anything important behind. It was a strange feeling, a slight feeling that stings your throat makes you feel a little sick. It wasn't as if you were betraying who it was, or even anything, but it wasn't a pleasant feeling anyway. The little hand rests against your hip, making you startle as you cross the soft look. Absolute tenderness as he pulls you against him, passes a hand through your hair and lets you smell its perfume.

"- Do you still need a little time?

- No. I think we should do it like a band-aid. The slower we do it, the more terrible the pain will be.

- As you wish. Just know that I'm here, if necessary. ”

A slight smile, as you straighten your head, gladly accepting the tender kiss he offers you, before letting him step back. A year had again passed, and Christmas still knocked on the door, like a song a little more honeyed than last year. Finally, you were still met on a striking coincidence. Park Jimin had collapsed with you, spilling his Ice Tea all over you and feeling unwell at the thought that you could get cold. So finally, he drag you a little to offer you something warmer, and replaced your wet top. Step by step, you spoke again, and you told him about the book you bought on Christmas Eve. Then time had done the rest, of course, resuming the taste of love had been harsh, but thanks to it, you had managed to cope with mourning. Of course, you still dreamed of your former lover, sometimes tended to compare them. And if at first it was a little wobbly, the balance had finally come about. Slightly, with tenderness. Jimin showed you again that the world could be wonderful, sugar could sting your tongue and that Christmas movies could be boring but incredible. Being Park Jimin's girlfriend was not the easiest thing, but you wouldn't leave your place for anything in the world, ignoring the comments of fans unable to accept your happiness, simply preferring to live it thoroughly without a headache.

"So let's go back to the car, do you want?

- Of course. But you still haven't told me where we were going to live!

- I told you, didn't I? It's a surprise! ”

You must have learned to be patient, Jimin was the shy kind at first, but he never stopped proved to you that every day was a better day. He didn't offer much gift, but when he did, he just knew how to make your eyes sparkle and your heart beat harder in your chest. So you let him lead, starting a new life again without completely forgetting the old one. He had been understanding, six months before, when you explained your story to him, collapsing in tears when he drag you to him. Swearing that he would teach you not to blame yourself anymore, and accepting your wounds. Trying to turn them into a scar, step by step. And after a year of relationship, you had finally agreed to move in with him, leaving your apartment to reach his home, moving forward on a new stage in your life as a couple.

"- We will not get married under the snow.

- To get married you must have already made your request, right?

- ... I haven't done it yet? ”

Your eyes widen as he looks at you, sitting in the driver's seat. Before he puts his hand to his mouth, visibly plaguing against himself while he searches in his pocket, before taking out the velvet case, a little big for a ring, making you curious.

"- It must have been much more romantic. But.. Do you want to become a Park?

- ... Jimin I..

- I'm not asking you to completely forget him. I ask you to agree to let me take his place. Just for this time and this moment.

- Yes. Yes, I want it, yes! ”

With tears in your eyes, you throw yourself on him, as he hugs you, kissing your cheek, temples and lips, before showing you the beautiful engagement ring, in gold plated with a flake as a jewel, a shiny stone in front of your eyes, while they still fill up a little with tears. Behind the ring, the thin white silver necklace catches your eyes, as he puts the ring on your finger, then takes out the second jewel so that you look at it better.

"- For the other ring. That way you can always have it against you.

- ... Don't you mind?

- He was there before me. And if he had always been there, I wouldn't be in this car with you. He is a part of you. So no. ”

Outside, the snowflakes seem here to make the scene even more romantic.

This year, maybe you were going to reconcile with Santa Claus finally.

[andrewisdoing]

Thoughts On God & I and The Christian Community

I’ve been thinking lots about God and my relationship with Christianity lately.

Recently, I took a long drive through Monroe and I couldn’t help but play albums that my mom played when I was a kid. Now, both my parents were/are Christians and while they did listen to secular music, they also played a LOT of Contemporary Christian music. I know it’s hard to believe but, in my opinion, my parents had the BEST taste in this genre. From my favorite, Crystal Lewis to Keith Green, I was raised on artists who were singing jubilantly and honestly about their love of Jesus and their walk with Him. I probably gained more wisdom from these artists then from the Bible. While on this particular drive, I couldn’t contain my joy while singing these songs, all of which brought bittersweet tears to my eyes mostly due to the memories that were attached to them. However, I couldn’t help but recognize the repetitive guilt fluttering around my stomach. The question that will occasionally float above me seems to always be “Do you even hear yourself? Do you know who you are singing about? You say you are a lapsed Christian and yet, here you are singing these Christian songs.” Then the BIG question follows… “Am I even allowed to be singing these songs and feeling joyful since I stopped going to church and giving up hope on being accepted into that community?”

If you’d ask me today where God and I stood, I would probably say that we’ve met, are still in touch but not exactly close anymore. Well, maybe it’s not God I have ended things with but it’s the actual community I estranged myself from. After being baptized during the pandemic, I thought I would’ve acquired a more urgent call to read the Bible, have a community of people who perhaps did accept me as me and be more firm in my standing with my faith. As of this moment, I can firmly declare that the chasm between Christianity and I has widened. Internally, the belief hasn’t been shaken but in terms of being deep in the game of religion, I willingly gave up. There were too many failed attempts. Since I had come out, I tried to seek out God and community and like Paul aka Saul, I feel like I have “fought the good fight” and seen enough to finally realize that my place wasn’t and will probably never be at church. Besides that, I had wanted to explore more philosophical, psychological and sociological ideals. I personally am of the opinion that for some people when they seek out a more traditionally American version of Christianity some stop seeking and asking big picture questions. If they do have questions, it’s not up for debate. It’s only “God created blankety-blank” and “The Bible says blankety-blank” instead of perhaps gaining understanding from other sources. Like Ariel in the Little Mermaid, who longingly looks above the watery surface, my mind was singing “I want moooore.”

Furthermore, 65 percent of the time, my questions weren’t with The Big Man Upstairs. I had more questions for the people surrounding me every Sunday because on the surface, everyone I’d encountered seemed to have their relationship with God figured out. When I was a teenager, I would watch the straight-laced folk, dressed up as hipsters who were “cool” and “down” with G.O.D. I began to suspect that they weren’t as “down” or “with it” as they outwardly proclaimed. They were as tight as the jeans that clung to their asses. My experience would vary person to person but I eventually discovered that the community that I yearned for wasn’t going to be here. I would always seem to come up empty when I would engage in conversations with church folks. These conversations were all spoken with smiles wrapped in shiny cellophane and would be so shallow eventually the wind would pick up, blowing the person away; the hollow conversation along with it. One example I can remember was going to these conferences as a teenager. Feeling quite out of place, as most teenagers, it would take me awhile to find real people to chat with. I remember having one of those breakdown moments I am pretty sure all young gay men have when you wonder if God does, in fact, love you. The encounter I had with one male youth counselor wasn’t as helpful as he may have thought.

“Are you sure you’re gay?” He asked

“Pretty sure. I just need to know if I’m okay and that I’m not going to hell. Am I?” I asked, pleadingly

“Well, lets just pray about it. I am more than certain if you pray, it might give you some clarity.” He said

I left still very gay but so damned confused and I can say a lot of my teens were spent half-heartedly convinced that God did love me but any time my heart got crushed, friendships ended or someone I loved died or hurt me in some way, I figured it was The Big Man Upstairs punishing me for fulfilling my desires.

Granted, I’ve found the hardest part about church is finding a true community of people who actually desire true friendship. Sure, I’ve made a few true friends at church but I do truly mean, FEW. I could count them all on one hand, though. The expectation that I had was these folks really wanted to be my friends if things got bad but that ended up never being the case. I can remember my first real High School youth leaders who had gotten to know me so well and made me feel so welcome that I even invited them to my Graduation, feeling so special. Fast forward a few months later, after getting my first apartment and dealing with my friends conniving fiancé, I felt trapped and alone. My best friends were busy and getting ready for year 2 of college. Who do I call? My youth group leaders for guidance, prayer and brotherhood. Who doesn’t answer? My youth group leaders. Months go by and not one word. I still feel myself wanting to throw something remembering how burned I felt. I should’ve prefaced this by adding that one of the leaders desperately wanted me to a part of his group after telling him my story so I can’t even begin to describe the sting of being dropped without so much as a goodbye.

I could fill more than this page with more stories from church and the people I encountered but I will just keep it short and sweet: Christian Community is complicated, messy and basically like High School but then what community isn’t? I am mostly happy to be out of it but I still am left with that question..am I allowed to rejoice to the music made for Christians and not for heathens like myself?

Here’s what I’m concluding: Yes. Why? I feel like I earned my stripes with Jesus and if he does indeed, see all, know all, like I think he does then he can be the one to give my heart the proper assessment when my time here on earth ends. I’ve also concluded that my relationship with religion will always be muddy and murky. Yes, while Jesus was my introduction to religion, the core of all these religions are drenched in love, which is why I understand why people buy the sugar peddled. While I have many bones to pick with believers, the biggest one the community has yet to answer for is the folks that are so “in it” that they use their bought truths to justify violent means and reason to ostracize peoples choices. THAT will never make sense to me.

Anyway, I’m off to go bump my “Heavenly Shit” playlist with all the messy and murky ex-Jesus Freaks.

[writing2023]

Nostalgia

NOSTALGIA

I miss you. Not in the way you think, I've distanced myself from the person you once were so much that I can barely remember what it felt like when we were happy. No, I ache for the pain, the chaos that surrounded you and therefore by extension surrounded me. I ache for the uncertainty of being together in the eye of the storm, watching it all come to ruins as we stood there in eerie silence waiting for the storm that you were to take us with you.

I’m sure that if I could ask you today, you would say you went down so that we wouldn’t. That in your death, you took one for the team and freed us from the chains of your addiction but I disagree. I'm sorry, but you took us down with you. Actually, I think you dragged me further into the depths than them. See, they could still see some light above them that encouraged them to look up and forward, but not me. To my eyes your shadow was overpowering— you blinded me. For years I lived in it. In the darkness that flowed out of you and into me, I couldn't see much else. For years after you left it clung to me like a weirdly comforting ghost that I both resented and loved. see, that’s the irony of it. You destroyed me once, and I long for you to do it again. You taught me how to live in your chaos and now that you’re gone I don’t know how to live without it.

There's beauty and light and joy in my life but as I sit laughing with them at the dinner table that I used to associate with screams, I long for your anger. I was raised in it, you see. In this role of caretaker I never chose which you all assigned to me. I was your lifeline. Over and over again, I found you minutes from a death of your own making and got you to breathe again. Caring for you became who I was. School, friends, hobbies— they were

nothing but side quests in the real great purpose of my life: saving all of us. Every emergency injection of insulin, every call to the emergency number, every blackout I recounted to you the next morning, that’s what I existed for. Your very own home nurse, therapist, doctor, mother, punching bag, in the shape of a daughter.

On that fatal morning, I lost more than a father. I lost myself. All of me was based on you, and so in killing yourself, you killed me. You killed the girl I was and you left me to pick up the broken pieces of our family, once again. Eventually, they healed. They didn’t need me anymore, and obviously neither did you, and I became useless. I lived for you, and then I lived for them, and no one ever taught me how to live for myself.

You can’t destroy me anymore. Your overpowering shadow has almost been reduced to dust thanks to ssris and hours of therapy which I worked so hard for. Now that you’re gone, that the flashbacks and nightmares have stopped, that I don't jump at every loud sound, I miss the pain. I miss the fear, the tears, the screams, because back then I was still trying. I still had something to try for, and I still thought maybe if I loved you hard enough I would succeed.

Soon, it’ll be three years since I failed. I've built a new life for myself, I've found new people to live for including myself and yet if I were to find a lamp I could rub for a wish, I would beg the genie to let me try again. I would spend the rest of my life drowning in your pain if it meant I could be near you again. But genies don’t exist, neither does time travel, and so I'm stuck with your absence, mourning for your neglect and your abuse.

[late-to-the-party-81]

Behave

A/N: Hi all! Major apologies for the lateness of this, my last entry for Kinktober, and the prompt Gang Bang/Orgasm Control.

As usual - unbeta'd.

Find my masterlist here

Edit: This is now a series - find the series master list here

@clearwatersfalling, I hope I did justice to your vision, this sort of ran away with me....

Grouping: Soft!dark! Steve, Bucky and Sam x Reader

Word count: 3.8k

This is a dark fic! Not your thing? Move along.

Not suitable for minors!

CW: Attempted Rape; Actual non-con/Rape; Threats of violence to reader; canon typical violence (not to reader); cohersion; kidnap; drugging; oral sex (both m and f receiving); rough p in v sex; brief mention of suicidal thoughts; slight dacryphilia

Behave

Your lungs burned and your legs throbbed as one word repeated itself inside your mind.

Run.

RUN.

RUN!

In a world gone to shit you always tried to keep your head down. You didn’t want to attract the attention of the scavenging bands who roamed the outlands, looking for a quick feed, a quick buck or a quick fuck. And they wouldn’t ask.

When the collapse of society came the great and the good flocked to safe conclaves, afforded the protection of the remaining military and police. Those in New York were lucky enough to get the added protection of the Avengers. However, the normal folk were mainly left to fend for themselves. Some managed to barter entry to a conclave, giving up their personal freedoms for security and safety, but you were not one of them.

For the last two years you’d managed to keep yourself relatively safe and healthy. You knew you were underweight, but that wasn’t unusual for an outlander. You’d avoided any major injuries and lived in a warehouse with a handful of other women, and some children. Today it had been your turn to go and seek out some supplies, and despite your care and attention, your run of luck had finally run out.

You’d been spotted and now your only hope was to outrun them and hide until they gave up. If they caught you, the best you could hope for was a beating for the hell of it. But it was more than likely that you would be raped and killed for sport, and not necessarily in that order. The scavengers barely retained any semblance of humanity any more, taking what joy they could in unfailing sadism. And your friends would mourn you and move on. People disappeared all the time, it just couldn’t be helped.

So you kept running, alert to any escape route, trying to ignore the whoops and hollers from behind you as the ‘once-men’ chased you like an animal. But the problem with looking around in such a manner, is that you fail to look down. Fail to see the small things that could set you a-cropper.

An involuntary shriek left your mouth as you tumbled to the ground. You don’t know what you caught your foot on, it could have been anything, but that didn’t matter. You felt pain lance through your knee, the thin fabric of your trousers ripping, the gravel on the ground tearing through your flesh. That was followed by your palms hitting the ground, and you skidding along before you rolled through sheer force of momentum, only coming to a stop when your back hit something hard.

You tried to get up, scrabbling for a handhold of any description. What remained of your calm was now slipping away, desperation taking hold of you. A large, rough hand grasped hold of your wrist and pulled you upright, causing further pain to shoot through your battered body. You lashed out with your free hand, and received a backhanded slap to the cheek for your trouble.

“We’ve got a live one here! Seems to be in decent nick too….”

You were surrounded by gruff laughter and lewd imaginings. One man, not the one holding you, advanced, leering and rubbing at his groin. You kicked out with your feet and screamed, but your captor just shook you until your teeth rattled.

“Can someone gag her, or tie her or something. I like a bit of spunk as much as the next guy, but I don’t want to have to work too much for it.”

Tears ran down your face, and your hysteria was rising. You looked around for some kind of weapon. You wouldn’t be able to defend yourself against this many scavengers, but you might be able to speed your own death.

Another man stalked towards you, a rope in his hands and you instinctively tried to pull away, despite knowing it was futile. And then all at once things got really crazy. The man with the rope was suddenly bowled over and something metallic rebounded off the wall behind you with a clang. Then the man holding you just crumpled to the ground as red bloomed on the brickwork. The remaining men turned to face the incoming threat, with shouts and cries, throwing projectiles and swinging chains. It seemed, in your dazed and scared state, that a giant bird came down from the sky and started to attack.

You curled up on the floor, trying to make yourself as small as possible, and closed your eyes. Your hands came up to cover your ears as you tried to block out the sounds of men being beaten and shot. An eternity later, which was probably only a few minutes, the echos of violence fell away. The only sound remaining was that of boots crunching across the ground. But you curled up tighter, shaking in fear.

“Shhhhh, bunny. It’s alright now. Come on, open those eyes for me.” The voice was deep, and smooth. And commanding. Your eyes opened, almost without volition. You looked up and were caught in a gaze of brilliant blue.

“There we go. All safe.”

You saw movement in the corner of your eye, and turned your head. Two other men stood there, one dressed in black, with shaggy chestnut hair and slate blue eyes, the other wearing some kind of pack on his back, goggles pushed up on his forehead, over close cropped dark hair, taking you in with eyes like molten chocolate.

“Don’t worry about 'em bunny, they’re with me.”

You turned back to the first man. He had dark blonde hair, and a shaggy beard. He smiled at you, teeth shining brightly.

“We’re going to take care of you, sweet thing. Never let anyone hurt you again.”

You looked up at your guardian angels, still running on adrenaline. There was a slight scratch against your arm and you turned to look. The blonde man threw a syringe over his shoulder into the pile of rubble.

“What…..what did you do?”

Your head was spinning, but you tried to push yourself up anyway.

“Don’t panic. You’re gonna come back with us now, bunny, back to the conclave. Got a nice spot all ready for you.”

He scooped you up into his arms as the world in front of your eyes turned black.

--------------------------------

When you regained consciousness the first thing you realised was that you were warm. Warmer than you had been in a long time. And the second thing was that you were naked. Your eyes snapped open, and you found yourself in a soft bed. There was no-one in the immediate vicinity, but you could hear the mumble of deep voices from close-by. Sitting up, you tried to push away a wave of dizziness. Why to fuck had that man saved you, just to drug you? Who the fuck was he? Who the fuck were his fri……Oh shit.

He’d mentioned a conclave. He must have meant the New York conclave. And the only residents brave enough to leave it were the Avengers. Which meant…..

Your head whipped round as the three men walked into the room. The Captain, the Falcon and the Winter Soldier. You gripped the sheets to your chest, like completely ineffectual armour. They were out of their fighting gear now, wearing the nicest clothes you’d seen since the Downfall. They were also clean, their hair slightly damp. And you realised that you were clean as well, and you smelt…..nice. Like flowers you could barely remember. They must have washed you down and dressed your injuries whilst you were unconscious.

Sam Wilson approached you first, crouching down in front of you, so your eyes were level. His hand came up to stroke at your hair and you tried not to flinch.

“Hey pretty thing. Feeling better?”

You didn’t answer his question, instead choosing to ask one of your own.

“Why am I here?”

Your voice came out barely louder than a whisper.

“Why, to keep you safe of course. The outlands are no place for a sweet girl like you.”

His other hand slid up your leg over the thin sheet.

“You’re gonna be all safe and cosy here with me and Steve and Buck there. He don’t say much, but he’s looking forward to you staying with us.”

Your eyes darted backwards and forwards, dread pooling in your stomach. How had you thought them guardian angels? Guardian demons more like. Their words were polite and gentle, but you could feel the undercurrent of corruption.

Steve then stepped forwards, sitting himself down on the bed beside you. With a long, lean finger, he turned your head towards him and rubbed his nose against yours.

“Gonna treat you so good, bunny. You behave and you’ll get anything you want…”

A whimper left your throat and you shifted slightly, your fight or flight response threatening to overrule your head. Steve’s large hand cupped your jaw, his thumb swiping over your chapped dry lips.

The bed dipped behind you and soft plump lips started to trail their way across your shoulder blades and cold metallic fingers held onto your waist, and oh, now your body was reacting in a different, but still unwanted way.

“That’s it sweet girl,” Sam’s voice purred in your ear. “Let it all go. You belong to us now.”

“Стив, я чувствую ее запах. Так мило...”

The gravelly, underused voice of the Winter Soldier came from behind you, although you didn’t understand his words.

“I know, Buck, I can smell her arousal too.”

You could hear the amusement in Steve’s voice.

You weren’t sure what it was about the revelation of the extent of their enhancements that made something in you snap, but your eyes shot open and you tried to lurch off the bed, away from the three men.

You must have surprised them a bit, as you broke out of their holds. However, still being wrapped in the sheet you only made it a few steps before it tangled around your feet and for the second time that day, fell to the floor. Luckily for your already bruised body, there was carpet on this one. Unluckily, your actions seem to have shifted something in the three men’s mood.

Sam was closest and his hands took hold of your already sore wrists and pulled you up against his body.

“Oh, baby. Why did you do that? You weren’t listening to Steve were you? You only get what you want if you behave…..”

The purr of his voice was menacing and you couldn’t help but shiver, the sheet wrapped around you starting to bow down to gravity. His eyes, which under other circumstances would have entranced you, were hooded and cold.

“But that little stunt was not what any of us would call behaving. Which means you don’t get what you want. But I can assure you that we will.”

His lips crashed down on yours, hot and demanding. His passion was unrestrained, and you could feel his hardness pressed against your thigh. His lips forced yours apart and you squeaked into his mouth as his tongue pushed past your teeth. It crossed your mind to bite him, but as if you had broadcast the thought, Steve’s voice whispered in your ear.

“Don’t even think about it, bunny. You made us cross by trying to run. Just think how angry we will be if you try to hurt one of us……”

As his hands helped the sheet make its final journey to the floor, he nipped at your lobe both a warning and also a promise. Sam pulled his mouth from yours, lifting you up and tumbling you back onto the bed. You made to sit up, but the metal hand of the Winter Soldier spread across your stomach, easily pinning you down.

“Я хочу тебя попробовать”

His head dipped, dark hair falling across his face and his mouth latched onto one of your nipples, causing your body to arch and a cry to leave your throat. There was a chuckle, but whether it was from Steve or Sam, you couldn’t tell.

But it was Steve who captured you mouth this time, his tongue tangling with yours as he moaned into you. The stress of the day and the conflicting feelings and sensations running through your body were making you dizzy. You couldn’t stop your body responding, and part of your brain was telling you that you might as well enjoy it if you could. If they had merely wanted to slake their needs with your body, they would have done so, they had no need to make it pleasurable for you. However, your pondering was disrupted by the feeling of lips on your inner thighs, Sam’s by process of elimination. His hands pushed your thighs wide and he settled between them, before using his dexterous fingers the pry your folds apart.

“So pretty….,” he mumbled before licking a stripe up your core and diving into your pussy like a man starved. Bucky continued to worship your breasts, sucking and nipping the sensitive flesh in turn, and all the while Steve made out with you, one hand holding your chin still, the other pining your wrists above your head. You’d given yourself over to the pleasure now, Sam having to hold your hips down as he ate you, against your subconscious attempts to increase the friction. Your back was still arched under the Winter Soldier, and you mewled into Steve’s mouth. You could feel your orgasm closing in on you, the pressure growing in your abdomen. You were teetering on the edge when Steve pulled his mouth away from you.

“Stop!”

The command left his lips and immediately Bucky and Sam pulled back. You whined as you felt the pleasure slip away and you opened your eyes, searching Steve’s face. He smirked in return.

“We told you, bunny, you don’t get what you want unless you behave……”

The other two men were shifting on the bed, and when you looked you saw that Bucky had removed his clothes. Your eyes trailed down over his solid body, and cut abs, drawing in a breath when you saw his cock, hanging heavy between his thighs. He was beautiful, despite the scarring on his left side. The light in the room reflected off his metal arm. You didn’t want to think about the damage it could inflict on you. He crawled up your body, the expression on his face feral.

“Ты будешь кричать, когда я тебя испорчу.”

You were still none the wiser as to what he said, but it sounded like a promise. He began to push his way into your wet core and you cried out, desperate for something to hold on to, but Steve still had hold of your wrists.

“Fuuuuuuuckkk!!”

“That’s the idea sweetheart.”

Steve’s voice teased you but you were still distracted by the feeling of Bucky splitting you apart. He was rocking gently, but firmly, working his whole length into you. When he bottomed out he rested his head on your chest, but the reprieve only lasted a few moments. He raised his head again, took his lower lip between his teeth and pulled back, almost leaving your cunt, before slamming back in again. He set up a brutal pace, and he bit at the skin around your breasts. The pain and the pleasure mixed within you, making you delirious, breathy moans leaving your throat.

You felt a tap on your lips and turned your head to find Sam knelt on the bed beside you. He had shed his clothes as well and held his own thick dick in his hand. He traced the head over your mouth, painting you with his pre-cum.

“Come on sweetheart, be a good girl and open for me….”

You’d like to say that you obeyed through a sense of self preservation, but to be honest, with how aroused you now were, you just wanted to suck him, choke on him. You ran your tongue over your lips, tasting his essence, before opening to let him in. He filled your mouth with his cock, and you massaged the veins on the underside of him with your tongue. When Bucky thrust hard you moaned, which forced an answering one out of Sam. He took hold of the headboard for leverage and started to fuck into your mouth.

“Yeah, baby. Just like that. Taking it so well. Starting to behave now. Be good to us, we’ll be good to you….”

The coil inside you was tightening again, you were so close. Tears were leaking from your eyes as you gagged around Sam, and your hips moved to meet each of Bucky’s thrusts, your legs wrapped around his waist. And then Steve did it again.

“Stop!”

Both men stilled their movements and your eyes went wide as you looked at Steve. You tried to move your head, jerk your hips, but you were held immobile by all their hands and Steve smiled coldly at your desperation.

“Do you get it now sweetheart? Do you promise to behave?”

Sam pulled back from you, and you coughed before you answered.

“Yes.”

Your voice was hoarse, but your response clear.

“Good.”

At Steve’s nod his partners recommenced their pleasurable assault on your body. You let your eyes close, and when Steve let go of your wrists, one of your hands went to Sam’s hip and the other to Bucky’s shoulder, giving you the illusion of some kind of control over what was happening. Having been denied twice it didn’t take long for you to be on edge once again.

Bucky whispered unknown nothings in your ear, gruff and low, whilst Sam babbled his filthy thoughts almost non-stop. Steve remained silent, and you would have forgotten he was there if it weren’t for the fact that he was stroking your arm and hair as he watched you fall apart.

Sam was the first to come, spilling deep into your throat, praising you all the while. He continued with small thrusts into your mouth until he was sure you had taken every drop of his cum, before moving back, replacing his cock with his mouth and kissing you passionately. Then, because he now had more space, Bucky upped the ante. He pulled your legs up over his shoulders, and rose up onto his knees, thrusting into you even harder and at an angle that made you see stars. A litany of sounds left your throat and you gripped his biceps, your nails digging into the flesh of his right arm.

And then you were screaming, as your pleasure washed over you, shaking your whole body.

“Такой узкий, зайчик. Я сказал тебе, что заставлю тебя кричать.”

Bucky grunted in your ear and you felt him twitch and pulse inside you, flooding your pussy with his cum. He moved off you and you lay in a daze on the bed, panting as you tried to regain your breath. For a moment you forgot about Steve, but he certainly hadn’t forgotten about you. The hands that had been stroking your arm and hair moved down your body, running over your breasts, your abdomen, your hip.

“Open your eyes for me bunny, there you go.”

It took you a few moments to focus, but he was now naked, leaning over you. His body was captivating in its beauty, golden skin and ripped muscles. His hands ran back up to your upper arms, and in the blink of an eye he had flipped you both, so that he was lying on his back and you were straddling his hips. You could feel his cock resting against the crease of your ass.

“I want you to ride me, show me and the boys how well you can behave and do as asked. You behave and we’ll be sweet on you, treat you right. You’ll be our girl. But if you don’t behave, you deny us, then you will be punished. And you really don’t want that, sweetheart.”

One large hand came down and swatted you on the ass.

“So giddy up!”

You lifted yourself slightly, reaching behind you to take hold of him. Fuck, he felt big in your hand. You glanced down and gasped. He was so thick! Steve chuckled darkly at your reaction.

“I’ll fit, don’t you worry bunny. The boys got you all relaxed 'n wet for me. And in no time at all you’ll be able to take me first, get used to me stretching you out and filling you.”

He placed his hands on your hips and started to pull you down, impaling you on his cock. You were grateful now for Bucky’s release slicking up your channel and that they had allowed you to come. Despite the slow way in which he was pressing into you, you knew you would have had problems accommodating Steve if he had been first.

When your groin was flush with his you let out a whine. He allowed you the chance to adjust for a few moments, before he moved your arms so your hands were braced on his abs. He looked at you, an eyebrow raised in challenge. You responded by lifting your body, feeling his length rub against your insides, before you sank back down with a cry. He was pressed against every sweet spot inside you, pleasure darting along your nerves. You rose again, repeating the action, this time drawing a moan from the man beneath you. A flood of power washed over you, and the speed of your movements increased.

You were using him now, your eyes closed again as you just focused on how he felt inside you, how your clit brushed up against the trimmed thatch of his pubes every time you sank down. Part of you was aware that Sam and Bucky were knelt on either side of you, but it was brought home when you felt lips sealing around both your breasts. You had to move your arms, so your hands were resting between each man’s shoulder blades. Steve’s hands stroked your thighs, strong thumbs pressing into the delicate skin of the inner curves. One hand moved higher and you shuddered as he found your clit, rolling over it in smooth circles.

You ground down, clenching your walls and rotating your hips. You cared for nothing except your own pleasure now and you were suffused with it. Your second orgasm washed over you as if a dam had burst, wave after wave taking you away from the pain and fear you had been suffering, not just today, but over the last few years. Tears rolled down your face at the physical and emotional release.

“Good girl, bunny. That’s it, fuck…..so pretty, so good for us….”

Steve’s words cut off into a moan as he came, his hips bucking up into you as he rode out his pleasure.

“Everything’s better when you behave……”

---------------------

Bucky says;

- Steve, I can smell her. So sweet...

- I want to taste you.

- You will scream as I ruin you.

- So tight, little bunny. I told you I'd make you scream.

[moemoemammon]

(Two things, 1. This is my first time requesting so I'm sorry if this is not the thing to do it, and 2. Sorry if somethings is misspelled or grammatically incorrect, eng is not my first language:p)

May I request some of the bros, specially Mammon, Luci and Satan, with a MC who's similar to Lucifer in some aspects (like, some of their manners are the same as his and sometimes they're little bit too strict) and after a while they discover that its bc MC is also an older sibling. And (only if you want) meeting their younger sibling, please 🙏

Btw love your works ♡♡♡

Lucifer Number 2~

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

It doesn't occur to Lucifer how similar the two of you are, but the first thing he realizes is how pleasant conversations with you can be. You both share common interests, your tastes suit his own, and you seem to be the only competent person in this house.

You're the responsible type, and he likes it. He'll sometimes find you scolding his brothers for their behavior too, and as amusing of a sight as that may be, he doesn't want you to be burdened with their idiocy.

AND you're the eldest sibling in your household? Cheers to that. You too know the weight of being the responsible oldest, and the role one must take to ensure their siblings grow up well. You too know that you'd rather your siblings have things easier than you did.

But there's one thing he finds annoying... You can NEVER speak your feelings, and act as if it’d kill you to do so. He can respect secrecy when it's appropriate, but Lucifer would like to know what's on your mind. Not only that, but you can be HORRIBLY headstrong. There's nothing that can stray you away from what you've already decided.

"MC, I request that you take a few days off from school to do as you please. I've already spoken with Diavolo and your professors, and you've been given an excuse. I know you'll study anyway, so I've dropped off your assignments in your room. But... you should rest. It isn't good for you to be pushing yourself so hard. Hm? You're calling me a hypocrite?"

Mammon

As if one Lucifer wasn't enough. Now there's TWO of em?! Why's his luck gotta be so lousy!

Definitely the first to realize how much like Lucifer you are, and was SHOOK. Seriously, what gives?! What horrors exist in the human world that could've made you like THAT..?

Ever since you showed up, it's been impossible to get away with anything! He can't sneak out of the house because you're always there somehow, you tattle on him when you catch him leaving anyone's room, and you won't even let him copy your homework! What gives?!

Avoids you like the plague. You're no fun! There's only rare moments when you're kinda okay, and he likes those the best. The times when you're kinda sensitive and you'll drop the high and mighty act. But then you're back to being a pest!

"For the billionth time, I ain't got time to study! There's money to be made, and a guy like me ain't gonna waste a second lookin' at a dumb book when I could be- H-Huh?! You're gonna call Lucifer?! N-now, there's no need to be so hasty, right? Oi!! I'm sorry, damn it-!"

Levi

What's the deal with Lucifer number two? As comedic of a trope as that may be, Levi doesn't really care for having two nagging types in the house. Especially a human...

When you're in his room, all you do is nitpick about how he should tidy up and open a window! Don't you know that an otaku's room is his pride and joy?! It's a sacred space not to be trampled on by the opinions of a normie!!!

But still... he has to admit that even if you don't get all the stuff he's talking about, you at least try to understand it. And there are even some of his interests that you're genuinely invested in!

You might be a pain in the neck and harass him about annoying things, but he guesses he can deal with it if you'll actually sit through a TSL marathon with him...

"I-I'll lend you this manga, so make sure you read it! And when you're finished with that, I'll lend you the spin-off series by the author's brother! I know you'll like it, since you're interested in gritty stuff. Oh, and- Huh? My laundry? Y-yeah.... I'll do that.."

Satan

You are... surprisingly good company. Satan enjoys talking to you over afternoon tea, and the two of you share stories between one another.

But still, he can't shake the feeling that there's something... unpleasantly familiar about your personality. It isn't until you say something that sounds suspiciously similar to what Lucifer would say that he realizes who you remind him of. And oh, he hates it.

Tries playing pranks on you, but somehow they never go to plan. How that is is beyond him, but you never fall for anything! No matter how sweet his smile, you're always rightfully suspicious. You're annoyingly meticulous about checking your surroundings, and you're so aware of yourself that it's troublesome! Be more gullible!!

The king of petty has decided that its now his life goal to make you fall for at least one of his pranks. He doesn't care how elaborate he has to make it, or how unrewarding the payoff may be. He'll make you pay for seeing his brother in two places at once.

"MC, would you like to join me this afternoon for a book reading? Though, I'd love it if you could read this book in particular. I think you'll find it very-.... Hm? 'Isn't this the cursed book that makes you grow hair all over your body', you ask? Ahaha.... tch."

Asmo

Come now, there can't be TWO killjoys in the house! That's way too depressing!! It was funny at first to see that there's someone who can match the scary Lucifer's energy, but now it's becoming a nuisance!

You won't even go to the countless parties he's invited you to! Hell, you barely even give yourself room to mess around a little? Isn't it boring being so tightly wound? You're in luck, because the adorable Asmo-chan knows the PERFECT way to let loose~

You'll RARELY let him close to you, and that's usually when you're tired of him harassing you. Then he gets the honor of playing with your hair while you've got no energy to fight back! He'll style it wonderfully for you!

Also nags you to take better care of yourself. You're not a demon, so you have to care for your health! These late night study sessions are giving you bags under your eyes! And stop taking on so many extracurricular activities!

"Geez, MC! I didn't think you'd die from overworking, but that's the path you're headed on! You really are like Lucifer, you know? That being said, I'll do my best to make sure you relax! Shall we begin~?"

Beel

Beel may not be too bothered by Lucifer's strictness, but that doesn't mean he's immune to it. To think that even a human can be like that...

It's nice to see that you can take care of yourself, but aren't you working too hard? Your grades are good and you've got many interesting talents, but you also have to properly rest.

Has started bringing you snacks on the regular. And don't even think about skipping meals, because he won't allow it. He'll literally pick you up and bring you to the table if he has to. And if you're staying up late to study? He'll carry you to bed. Don't try to protest.

Beel is your babysitter now and there's nothing you can do about it. It's good to be responsible, but don't think about trying to take care of everyone else if you can't care for yourself. Now eat these twelve meat buns he bought for you.

"MC, let's eat lunch together. I know you were going to skip because I heard you talking to Solomon earlier, and I won't let you. Ah, don't worry about not having money, because I've already bought you some lunch. Let's eat in the courtyard."

Belphie

NO.... IT CAN'T BE... THIS HAS TO BE A NIGHTMARE....HE WANTS TO WAKE UP....

You're such a drag. You harass him to attend student council meetings, but him about his studies, and won't let him avoid a single obligation he has. What are you, his mother?

Has 100% joined forces with Satan to try to make you fall for many, many unsuccessful pranks. Are you curse proof or something? When he tried a '10 hour bed-head' spell on you, it just rebounded right to him! Then he found out that you'd borrowed a spell repelling amulet from Solomon and realized just how prepared you are...

When you aren't bothering his entire soul by trying to make him do things, you're actually nice to talk to. You're knowledgeable, you pay attention to the people around you, and you can always read a room. He likes to ask you for advice sometimes.

"Aren't you tired of being like that all the time? So... attentive, I mean. You should just take a nap some time. Or better yet, take the week off. Maybe I'll teach you how to properly relax? Then you might finally be able to take that stick out of your- ow... What're you hitting me for?"

[wincore]

field day | jung sungchan

pairing: sungchan x fem!reader

synopsis: when you, as cheer captain, are best friends with the pride and joy of the soccer team, rumors are bound to fly around.

genre: high school au, soccer au, bff2l, fluff

words: 7.5k

warnings: language, jung “the risk i took was calculated but man am i bad at math” sungchan

request: sungchan + ball + “ everyone is looking at us. is that a good or a bad thing? ” (from the first option) ^__^

song recs: after school - weeekly / pleaser - wallows / some - bol4 / sweet talk - saint motel / love so sweet - cherry bullet

a/n: i tried recalling some hs memories for this and im hoping i wasnt the only one that went through the “shipped with a random dude” ordeal LOL. i haven’t written shorter fics in a while so i’m glad i got to. tq for requesting, lovepie <33

In high school, peer pressure tends to come in different forms. For you, it’s taken the shape of this.

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” 

You look around your classmates, scanning each and every face chanting with glee like you’re a star player scoring the winning point. The tall figure shifts beside you, glancing at you like a blinking idiot. You’re not even on the losing team but it feels just as frustrating.

You glare at the boy beside you. The trouble is Jung Sungchan. The trouble has always been Jung Sungchan. 

“Come on!” Chenle calls with a teasing grin from the buzzing crowd. The little shit. It’s getting hotter with each minute you spend by the green soccer field and its dusty chalked lines, just at the tip of the bleachers. You didn’t even get enough time to breathe before you were surrounded, the soccer team pushing a stumbling Sungchan onto you. It’s too sunny for this today.

“The star soccer player gets a kiss from the lead cheerleader after a winning game! That’s the rule.” Chenle announces.

Sungchan looks at you and you turn to him, the both of you looking at each other like fish out of water. Even though you’ve clarified at least a hundred times that you’re just friends, your peers don’t seem to be satisfied. (“Famous last words,” they say.)

“No,” you say, firmly. 

“No,” Sungchan agrees, nodding his head wisely.

“Don’t copy me,” you say, smacking his chest, and a quiet ‘oof’ escapes his mouth.

The fact that you’ve been best friends since Sungchan offered you a light green crayon in elementary school just fuels the idea that you have to date. There’s this difference between elementary school kids teasing and high school kids teasing—it was so much easier back when boys were afraid of cooties from girls. It was innocent too. Now, it’s more of nudges and sly grins, teasing with unnecessary innuendo. (What else do you expect from teenagers experiencing puberty?) It doesn’t stop you from being best friends though. Sungchan still visits on Fridays to get on your mom’s nerves and help you with homework (or try to). You still have all the little trinkets he’s gifted you over the years and the lock to his phone is still your birthday. You’re best friends and strictly that. 

When you got into the same middle school though is when it started going downhill. Holding his hand was awkward, touching him in any way was awkward and god forbid you compliment him on something. The kids around you would run across the halls saying “(name) likes Sungchan!” or the other way around sometimes. Heathens, the lot of them. But at the very least, he wasn’t too fazed and you wonder how he could be that even-tempered. If it was just you feeling that way, then maybe you did like him more than he did you. 

You shake it off. 

Sungchan’s much more grown now and at least a foot taller since his awkward adolescent years; he looks handsomer too but you wouldn’t be caught dead saying it out loud. After all, it’s only going to spark another debate on the anonymous school forum. (“(name) finds Jung Sungchan attractive, they’re totally dating.” “I knew it. A boy and a girl can’t be friends, especially if they’re both good looking.”) If you’re being honest, you hate the rumours so much—it’s one of the reasons, apart from puberty, stopping you from being as close as before. However, you do understand that this is how the passage of time works. You’re not going to be spending all of your time with each other, yes, but you still regard him as important. Your life is too busy now, with exams and practice—and you’d think a busy bee would get some honey as reward.

Sungchan’s curls stick to his forehead, unruly after he wiped at them with a towel. The sunlight plays with his eyes when he looks at you intently and you shrug. The smell of sweat is starting to make you nauseous. You remember that you too need to take a shower.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you mumble.

“Not today?” He asks.

You shake your head. “The girls have a plan.”

It’s not just the sweat. Or the crowds. You don’t like being here at all. There’s one more problem with this place.

You hate soccer. 

And by hate, you mean you despise it. Like you’ll throw up at the sight of it. What’s so riveting about a bunch of smelly, sweaty guys excited about chasing a patterned ball? You’ve tried to understand it but every time your dad explains the rules, you find yourself zoning out of whatever alien language he speaks. 

Sungchan has been the closest to getting you to understand the game and even then, you refused to learn. It’s not like you’re society’s definition of girly—but you’re not a tomboy either. The school has granted you the “ice queen with a warm interior” stereotype so you’ll just go with that. To be honest, you’re just a little more awkward at open affection than your friends. (And Sungchan has the “friendly beagle” stereotype which you’ll agree is partly true. He’s more of a retriever though, with that size.) It’s just funny how you can never seem to know who you are but other people see so clearly.

You hurry up to the locker rooms and hope for a better evening than this afternoon.

-

The sky burns blue and you wipe the sweat off your brow once you step out of the changing room. Cooling off from your shower has gone to waste. Adjusting your school skirt, you take your usual strides to the school gates. 

Ryujin seems to be showing Yuna a very flamboyant dance move while the latter hypes her up. Ryujin is in her gym uniform because she has no care for her reputation apparently, but she makes it work. Yuna’s about to show her own move when she notices you and waves at you vigorously enough to make you jog towards her and stop embarrassing herself in front of the after school crowd. But then again, she’s too cute for that.

“We got bored waiting for you,” Yuna explains, voice hoarse from her cold. Poor thing wasn’t let into performing because of it. “Do you wanna see our cool new move? Ryujin came up with it!”

Ryujin rolls her eyes. “You’re trying to advertise me to (name) so she can recruit me into cheerleading, aren’t you?”

You smile and cross your arms, facing Yuna who’s been caught mid-act. She smiles sheepishly and pats your shoulder like she just said a funny joke.

“Actually…” You begin and Ryujin holds up her arms in a cross.

“No. Never. I’m already part of the hip-hop dance club.”

“I was going to say that I’ll join you instead.”

Yuna gasps in betrayal, big eyes widening, and Ryujin grins before sticking her tongue out and potentially ruining her image with that expression. She doesn’t care, however.

“Anyway, I can’t wait to get to college and join a dance club.” Ryujin looks at the two of you excitedly. “I keep getting snaps from Yeji and feel so jealous.”

Yuna pouts. “Don’t be so happy about leaving me.”

“Aw, is the baby afraid of not getting any more sisterly doting?” Ryujin teases and you laugh at the disgruntled expression on Yuna’s face. 

“Don’t worry,” Ryujin continues with a sly grin. “Taehyun’s here to keep you company for another year.”

Yuna turns red in the face, a high pitched complaint emitting from her throat. “I told you to keep quiet about that!”

“Oh, what’s this?” You wiggle your eyebrows. “We’re starting boy talk early today.”

Yuna huffs. “At least, mine’s just a crush. I don’t know what relationship status: complicated you have going on with Mr. Soccer Captain.”

You flush hotly. “There’s no relationship status to be complicated about! Seriously, why does everyone think we’re a thing?”

“You’re cheer captain and he’s soccer captain,” Ryujin answers logically. “Plus, you’re best friends.”

“You have a lot of sexual tension,” Yuna answers honestly.

You make a face, slipping your arms into theirs and pulling them along the sidewalk. You better get something to drink before the sky starts to turn purple from pink tinged blue. 

“Ooh, another desperate attempt from (name) to not get teased,” Ryujin leans back to whisper to Yuna.

You stop walking. “Wait. Where are we going?”

Yuna shakes her head. “I’ll lead the way.”

Skipping over the concrete sidewalk, you laugh at your friends and their stories (read: Ryujin gushing over Yeji’s college dance club and Yuna’s newfound crush on Taehyun). The blue sky has tinged orange by now but it’s the sort of colour that sits in between more significant timeframes, like night and evening. Passing by a city square, you eye the people with wonder. A girl in a pink skirt skateboards smoothly over the concrete, her boyfriend filming her with a loving smile. 

“We’re here!” Yuna announces.

You look around the large open plaza, with people of all ages and in different attires trying out skateboarding and rollerblading over the grey concrete. It’s been getting popular lately, with idol pop stars taking to it too but you never knew there was this big a community. There seems to be a few stalls renting out skateboards too. The wind caresses your hair, evening cool settling in nicely on your skin. The sky is purple but it’s lit up with the city buildings and street lamps flickering on. It’s not a bad day at all.

Someone catches your attention. A boy that sticks out like a sore thumb everywhere he goes. 

“Sungchan?!” 

Your eyes somehow always settle on his figure, tall and standing out in the crowd of teenagers. He clutches his blue bag, the one he’s had since third grade, close to his chest and looks more like a tourist in this place than a frequent visitor. He’s not the only one in school uniform now that you’re here.

“(name)!” 

You hate how you love the way his face lights up when he sees you. You’re not actually into him. It’s your friends brainwashing you.

“I was going to invite you,” Sungchan says, a sorry smile on his face. 

Ryujin and Yuna frown at each other but you can’t exactly ask the reason for it.

“Isn’t it great we had the same plans?” he beams at the three of you.

Yuna suppresses a smile and you wonder why. It’s not like your friends would know he’d be here—you’d know first as best friend.

"How did you guys come across this place?" He asks, eyes round with curiosity. 

"Somi's Tiktok," Yuna answers, smiling. "We thought she works here but if she really was, guys would be swarming this place."

Ryujin raises her eyebrows. "Speaking of which, I can clearly see why there are so many girls here."

Sungchan beams, turning to you for affirmation and when you don't give him any, he drops his grin to a more polite smile.

“I don’t work at the stalls though,” he answers. “I’ve just been here a few times.”

“You’re trying to learn, aren’t you?” Ryujin asks, raising an eyebrow.

He nods. However, you furrow your eyebrows at her. How does she know? Eyes widening, you realize it must be the school forum. You remember reading a post about a student wanting to learn skateboarding and the wording felt familiar but you didn’t think much. How they figured it out, you will never know.

“Oh! Oh, I think my nose is bleeding. Oh god.” Yuna sniffs vehemently, her finger at her nose. “I think I’m going to need Ryujin to get me to a clinic.” 

Linking her arm through Ryujin’s, Yuna makes an apologetic expression and runs off into a particularly crowded area.

You blink. The realization dawns. 

"They just left me," you tell him, exasperated. "How could they just leave me?"

He shrugs. "My team left me at a rival school's field once."

Great. Your last outing before midterms and your friends have abandoned you. If this is the case, you wonder why they complain about you spending so much time with Sungchan and allegedly ignoring them.

You regain a sense of your surroundings and turn to him. "Wait. They really left you?"

He nods diligently, eyes trained upwards as he tries to recall the memory. "I told you, didn’t I? On the plus side though, I made friends with the opposite team."

"That's so… cute."

Your cheeks heat up at saying it out loud. If Sungchan is affected by it in any way, he doesn't show it. Instead, he has his usual smile on. 

“Do you wanna try?” he asks. “Skateboarding. Or rollerblading but I personally don’t recommend that.”

He curls his lips, shaking his head slightly. You laugh. Of course this beanpole has trouble balancing on skates.

"I- I figured you'd be good at skateboarding. Since, you know, you're so balanced and all."

You raise an eyebrow. "You wanna add skateboarding to your resume or something?"

"Yeah, that and the ability to imitate dog sounds. Wanna see?"

"No, thanks. I’ll pray this weekend to cure your furry behaviour."

Before he can respond, you’re interrupted by a whirlwind of colours and excited calls. A few girls run up to the two of you, younger and probably in middle school, flocking to Sungchan like bees to honey. Never in your life have you felt so ignored as in this singular moment.

You blink, turning to Sungchan who looks like a rather helpless, flustered eye of the hurricane. The winds don't seem to be stopping any time soon.

You clear your throat trying to get their attention. 

"Wow, you brought your girlfriend?" One of the girls exclaims, sounding disappointed.

The other girls make similar whines of disappointment and you have half the heart to whack them over the head and tell them to focus on their academics instead of boys. 

"You're so lucky to have him as your boyfriend," a girl comments, round eyes brimming with jealousy. 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you declare sharply.

Sungchan looks at you with his doe eyes, blinking cartoonishly. You nudge him with your elbow.

“Yeah!” He agrees, with far too much gusto to be believable. “I’m not (name)’s boyfriend. I have no idea why everyone keeps saying that.”

“Let’s go, babe,” you say, resisting the urge to stick your tongue out at the girls. They’re younger than you and you have high school dignity, you remind yourself.

Slipping your hand into his, you take a few long strides away from them before you realize what you said.

“I- I did- I didn’t mean to call you babe,” you sputter, pulling your hand from his to look at him with wide eyes. 

“It’s okay though?”

Sungchan raises an eyebrow and slips his hand back into yours, smiling. 

“I don’t mind the rumours, you know?” He says honestly but his smile feels all too teasing. “Maybe we should go out for real.”

You huff, separating yourself from him again. “Maybe you just love attention. Disgusting.”

You point an accusatory finger at him and he bites at it playfully.

“While you're here, wanna see a cool trick I learned?" He straightens only having to tilt his head to look at you.

"If it's you falling on your face, then yes."

"I mean, hey, I could totally do that. Done that several times actually."

You smile despite trying your hardest not to. You like this about him—that he’s easygoing enough to make you look at life less seriously. If it’s with him, you could quit everything that makes you unhappy and start everything you love. 

“So where is your skateboard?” you ask, walking side by side with him, who has finally learned to match your pace.

“It’s with one of my friends,” he answers, and points to a tall girl with long brown hair, wearing a pair of tomboyish shorts and T-shirt. Another girl with short hair and a bucket hat accompanies her, wearing a long hoodie and shorts, but she leaves before you reach them. They must be from a different school because you’ve never seen them before. The first thing that pops into your head is that they’d be good replacements for your cheerleading position if you were ever to leave. You shake your head. Now is not the time.

“That’s Jimin!” he introduces, and you wonder how he’s this way—how he makes friends so easily.

Jimin waves at Sungchan and then proceeds to ask if you’re his girlfriend with a big smile, like a script being followed everywhere you go.

She seems a little disappointed at the answer. “Well, I was going to suggest one of the couples skateboards.”

You flash her an awkward smile. 

“But those are pretty difficult! I’ve been here for a month and my idea of skateboarding is still sitting on it while Soeun pushes me around. That’s my friend, by the way.”

“Ah.” You nod. “This is my first time skateboarding, actually. The only ‘sport’ I’ve ever done is cheerleading.”

Jimin furrows her eyebrows before her eyes widen. “Wait a minute. You’re the cheerleader best friend that Sungchan wouldn’t shut up about!”

Sungchan flusters, in the subtle way he usually does, and waves his hands robotically trying to explain. “I was just saying- that- that you’d be good at skateboarding. Because of the cheerleading.”

A boxy grin accompanies his explanation. 

“Right.” Jimin covers her face and sends an obvious wink your way. “Anyway, you can have my skateboard for the day.”

She hands over a smooth black skateboard with white wheels, but on closer inspection you find that they’re light-up wheels instead. It’s oddly fitting for someone like Jimin even if you’ve known her the entirety of ten minutes. Sungchan is good at finding friends, rather. Soon enough, she runs off after making Sungchan promise he’ll deliver the skateboard home.

The trick Sungchan wanted to show you was a failed kickflip. At the very least, it made you laugh so hard you almost spit out the strawberry milk he’d bought you. Sipping his own banana milk, he sulked for a moment or two, telling you to try it out and see how difficult it is.

On the contrary, Sungchan was right. You are good at balancing on skateboards. But that’s where it ends. You don’t think you’ll be naturally good at kickflips, though being able to glide through the plaza while Sungchan runs after you with the drinks puts a big smile on your face. It’s the most fun you’ve had in a while.  

Accompanied by Sungchan’s panicked “oh no”s and “oh we messed up”s, the two of you try the couple skateboarding move too; no one’s watching you here. It’s fun to see him stress over a skateboard because frankly, you’ve never met anyone as easy-going as Sungchan. (“I’ll figure it out along the way,” he says when you ask if he’s studying for finals, and proceeds to get a decent enough score). Suddenly the wandering gap is closed again. You’re not going to worry about stupid rumours from now on. 

But for some reason, ‘you like him as a friend’ doesn’t sound right either. Despite having said it so many times, you might not believe in it. You shake off the thought. This evening, at least, you’re going to enjoy with Sungchan without thinking of teenage drama and hormones. 

"You still don't think you and Sungchan make the perfect pair?" Yuna pouts. 

You narrow your eyes. "I don't take opinions from traitors."

Chaeryoung leans back on her chair, and whispers to you asking if you’re okay. At least someone is concerned about you.

“It hurts to be left by my own friends but—”

“No, I meant, are you okay? Why aren’t you dating Sungchan already? You’re so cute together! And you’re best friends—Netflix writers literally daydream of this.”

You groan, throwing up your hands in defeat.

“And,” Yuna adds, knocking her chair closer. “Who’s really the traitor here? Us who ditched you with the love of your life—or you, who runs off every time she gets a call from her boyfriend?”

“Sungchan is not my boyfriend.” You cross your arms.

“She even shares her lunch with him more,” Ryujin complains from the side. “And they’re not even in the same class. Unlike me, by the way. Class 1 Shin Ryujin. Same class as you, (name).”

You slump, resting your forehead against the desk. At this point, you wish the teacher would walk in and start the class already. Unfortunately, lunch break isn’t over for another ten minutes and lady luck clearly isn’t smiling upon you. 

“Speak of the devil!” Ryujin announces monotonously, leaning against her desk.

Sungchan and a few of his friends from the soccer team wave at you and the girls from the classroom door. Noticing Taehyun, Yuna quickly fixes her hair and you would tease her if Sungchan hadn’t casually strolled up to your desk and sat down on the chair in front of you. Long legs barely contained in the space, he adjusts himself by resting his arm on the headrest and his chin upon it. It’s all normal. However, when he leans down to match your eye level, you hear the sudden pit-a-pat of your pulse in your ear. At this proximity, you can even see the mole on his lip that he’s pointed out before. The sunlight from the open windows is pulling golden strings over his eyelashes and his lips aren’t dry as a desert like you expected. You know he uses the watermelon flavoured lip balm. 

“Too close,” you croak. Embarrassed at your own voice, you rise sharply and glare at him.

“Is your heart fluttering?” Sungchan asks, smiling as he looks up at you.

You roll your eyes. 

You can hear Yuna’s giggling and before you can shoot her a glare, Sungchan calls. 

"Do you have any bandaids?" 

He points to a rough scratch at the base of his palm, fingers slender and less calloused than what you'd pictured. Then again, soccer players don't use their hands much, do they?

You blink. "You came all the way here for bandaids?"

"Well… I remembered you keep band-aids in your phone case. And the nurse hates me."

You giggle.

Yujin mouths from behind Sungchan, “He just wanted to see her.” 

You would feel flattered if you didn't know these people and their shenanigans. They'd do anything for some drama (and to get two innocent people into the dating trap).

“Why would I waste my cute band aids on you?” you mutter under your breath. “They’re limited edition, you know?”

No way are you sticking Ice Bear on your urban hazard of a best friend. A tall, cute, surprisingly polite hazard but he still annoys you nonetheless.

However, Sungchan's pleading smile has grown on you.

You reluctantly take the band-aid out of your clear phone case, the pink panda doll attached to it swaying with the movement. Proceeding, you take Sungchan's hand and lay it on your desk. With careful focus, you place the band-aid, admiring the size difference of your hands before snapping to reality.

Enough with the pink cloud of thoughts, you scold yourself.

When you look up, the proximity makes your heart skip a beat despite the logical part of you saying you shouldn't. Your faces are too close and this time, you don't even have the energy to croak it out.

"Thanks, (name)," Sungchan smiles at you. 

Right then, the sound of a chair sliding harshly against the floor makes the two of you jolt away from each other. All of your friends and his friends seem to be sporting Cheshire cat grins and you don't like it one bit. You don't like not being in on the gag.

"Anybody up for gaming after this? My treat." Chenle looks around. “Sungchan is banned from the arcade soccer game though.”

"'Ey," Sungchan complains.

"Hey, Jisung and Ryujin are banned from DDR too but that's because they almost broke the handles off last time."

The memory makes you smile. Sungchan was there too, and you don’t know why you’re only just recalling all the memories with him in it, carefully and in detail. Every one of them seems to have been amplified, the little interactions suddenly coming to mind. 

“(name)? You’re coming?”

You take one look at Sungchan and give up. Even if this is another childish ploy by your peers, you don't mind spending some more time at the arcade with infuriatingly addictive games. A tiny part of you is even willing to go along with them and see if it turns out the way they want it to.

“I’ll go,” you mumble, and the rest of the group cheers. 

“But I have cleaning duty today.”

The group groans. 

“Just get someone else to do it. Like a junior.”

“Isn’t that bullying?” You ask, frowning.

“Ask nicely. Anyone would be willing to do your bidding, (name).”

“Chenle, will you do it?” You give him a sickly sweet smile. “You’re class president after all.”

Chenle wrinkles his nose. “You’re getting stupider every day, (name).”

You sigh. “Fine. I’ll ask one of Yuna’s classmates then.”

“By the way,” Chenle announces. “Only twelfth graders are invited—”

A bunch of groans interrupt him. 

“Quit whining.” He crosses his arms, glaring at them. “What do you even have to worry about? We’re preparing for the exam of our lives. Oh, and Jisung is an exception.”

“We’re only two years apart,” Yuna mutters under her breath.

“Oh, and from class 5, only Sungchan is invited.”

Another round of complaints pass and Chenle breaks into laughter. “Just kidding.”

Your friends are and will always be an odd bunch. Sungchan has previously proved to be the weirdest (several times) and it makes him the most lovable too. But then again, you don’t have free space in your timetable to put in teenage crushes, much less falling for your best friend. What you do have time for this afternoon, however, is relaxing at the arcade. 

-

“Let’s go! I am so good at this. Think I’d impress your Steve Curry?” Ryujun gloats, after having scored three hoops in a row at the arcade basketball game.

“It’s Stephen Curry,” Chenle corrects. “And no, let’s focus here. Our goals are—”

He points to the two figures by the DDR machine, looking like a real couple. He’s been acting as damage control for the rumours and making sure you don’t drift apart because of it. They really don’t make guys like him anymore, Chenle sighs. He should get a friendship award or something.

“—those two.”

Really, Sungchan better be thanking him by the end of this. He’s never met anyone quite like Jung Sungchan, especially because Chenle cannot picture himself liking the same person since elementary school.

“Man, now I wish I had a girlfriend,” Chenle mutters.

Ryujin snorts. “Who’s going to date you?”

“You don’t have a boyfriend either,” Chenle reminds and gets a basketball to the shoulder.

“Why are you playing that when you don’t even know how to use it?” Your voice rings through to them.

“I said I’ll figure it out!” Sungchan reasons.

Chenle and Ryujin stare at the two of you blankly, as you bicker over a claw machine game and they share a look.

“Do they need our help?” Ryujin whispers.

Chenle shakes his head. “I think they’ll figure it out from here.”

Soon enough, you were laughing at Sungchan’s failed attempts and trying to outplay him. Your friends have already given you the shove. Chenle and Ryujin share a high five and that’s where the new story begins.

You finally know the thrill of a teenage crush. It makes you so damn infuriated that it had to be Jung Sungchan. 

Now every time he waves at you from the field or hands you a bottle of strawberry milk or explains the calc notes you missed or does the bare minimum, you need to deal with the quickening of your pulse and a few butterflies loose from their cage in your stomach. It doesn’t help that you’re almost always together.

The two of you currently sit by the school field, Sungchan tying his shoelaces while you cool off with the water bottle he offered you. Practice ended a while ago for you and the girls have receded into the air conditioned indoor gym. The indoor gym is apparently occupied by the gymnast club and you couldn’t be more disappointed that you didn’t join them instead. 

If anything, however, you’d rather leave this whole thing and focus on your academics. Hobbies shouldn’t be draining you—they should feel like skateboarding on a lilac evening with the wind in your hair.

With a friend you like very, very much.

“Sungchan,” you call quietly. 

“Hm?” 

When he looks up, you can’t hold in the urge to fix the hair out of his eyes. You’ve never been very physically affectionate so it might have come off strange. Sungchan looks at you quietly, stars in his eyes and you clear your throat.

“How long have you been playing soccer? It was before we met, right?”

He hums, eyes traveling up and then back to you when he remembers. “Since I was six. You were there at my first soccer match actually.”

“I was? Oh my god, was it the one you lost horribly and the whole team started crying?”

“Yes. Yes, it was.”

You giggle. “Six year old you would be so in awe now.”

Sungchan beams at that. 

“Who knows?” he smiles, looking into your eyes with firm determination. “Maybe I’ll be the next Son Heungmin.”

“Even I know who that is so… no.”

Sungchan pouts and you make a face in disgust. “Don’t act cute, it gives me hives.”

“Okay, maybe not Son Heungmin. I could definitely be the next Park Jisung—and I don’t mean him.”

Sungchan points to a boy passed out on the benches, his exhaustion typical of any high schooler while another boy sits beside him, fanning him with a bunch of assignment papers. Jisung and Chenle really are more entertaining than any game on this field. 

You turn to look at Sungchan, who’s moving his head around trying to catch their attention. When he finally does, he waves at them and gets big grins in response. He’s not all that bad, you think. In fact, he’s quite possibly the most amiable boy in senior year.

“Just be Jung Sungchan,” you mutter. “Not Son Heungmin or Park Jisung.”

Sungchan turns to you, smiling wide. “Advice taken.”

You scoff. “Whatever.”

Maybe it’s just you but Sungchan has been glancing at your lips very frequently today and mentally thank Chaeryoung for letting you borrow her lip tint. You didn��t know something so subtle could get you this giddy.

“Are you… going to give the CSAT?” You ask, glancing at him nervously. Part of you is sad you only developed your first high school crush in the very last semester. Or if it’s comforting, you could believe you’ve liked him all this time.

“Nah. Sports scholarship,” he says nonchalantly. “I was going to tell you but… I’ve been scouted already.”

You gasp. “That’s… great. Your future’s all settled.”

Sungchan seems to dislike the idea, lips pursing. “I don’t think anything’s settled except for the next step.”

You nod, somewhat understanding. 

“What about you?” He asks. “Any university in mind? SKY? I’ve seen you study extra hours at the library.”

You look away, not feeling ready for the conversation.

“I don’t know,” you say quietly. “I don’t know what I like and what I want. I don’t even like cheer anymore.”

Sungchan gazes at you wordlessly but it’s the most comfortable you’ve felt talking about this.

“Maybe I should quit,” you mumble.

You don’t want to commit to something you no longer have passion for. But then again, you’ve spent so much time on it that it’s hard to leave. 

“You should,” he responds, honest. 

You scoff, shaking yourself from that moment of vulnerability. “But why would I quit something I’m good at?”

“If you don’t like it. If it hurts to leave but isn’t any better when you stay, you should leave.”

You roll your eyes. “You’re quite the philosopher.”

“I’m smart, right?”

You smile. 

“Oy, you two!” Chenle calls, making his way to you two with Jisung trailing behind. “I don’t mean to interrupt your flirting but you got a spare water bottle?”

“Are you two going out now?” Jisung asks as a follow-up, and you feel a hot flush for some reason, unlike the previous times you’ve been asked this question.

“No,” you answer. You don’t mind the idea though now.

“Don’t lie,” Chenle complains. “I saw that picture of Sungchan teaching you how to kick a ball. You? And soccer? Something’s up.”

You throw up your hands in exasperation. “Seriously, who keeps up posting to the school page? And where do they get the time?”

"Two people with this much compatibility will always be a hot topic."

"We're not compatible," you retort quickly.

"Wait," Jisung says. "I know how to resolve this."

You raise an eyebrow.

"How do you have your cereal?" He asks, looking from you to Sungchan.

"Cereal first, obviously," you answer.

Sungchan looks up, finger below his chin as he thinks. "I drink the milk first, then eat the cereal and then breakdance to mix it all together."

You pinch your nose. "I swear I question your sanity all the time."

"Hah! That means you're thinking about me all the time."

You look away, rolling your eyes. He responds with an open-mouthed smile and finger guns.

"See?" Jisung grins. "Compatible."

The gruff voice of Coach Lee startles the four of you and Sungchan leaves with a sigh and a promise of meeting after practice. Jisung leaves with Sungchan and Chenle gives you one last teasing smirk before sitting down and going through the assignment papers he was using as a fan previously. You will never understand his miraculous ways of performing his presidential duties.

You don’t have a good feeling about the next match. The only reason you’re even sticking around anymore—as embarrassing as it—is to spend more time with Sungchan. Being with him puts you at ease, even if the school tries to wrap the two of you in a rope of uneasiness. This is your very last practice, for the next match is the final one of this year and then you’ll be back to spending even longer hours at the library with a stack of textbooks. It’s supposed to be a carefree age. At least, adults say that. Your high school life seems to be riddled with worries, and with that thought, you head into the air conditioned room to take a breather off your anxieties. 

Only one more match, you remind yourself. 

The pre-match buzz is driving you to the edge.

Your form is off, you can feel it already and Coach Kim isn’t as sunshine-as-rainbows as she usually is, courtesy to it being the last match of your life. She’ll never know though, how much you don’t want to do this. 

Sungchan waves at you as he usually does before a match, disappointing a third of his fangirls, but it helps you ease. One last time, (name).

Watching the crowd of people, parents and siblings and friends, all excited and talking makes you take a deep breath. You practiced but it wasn’t good enough. You can never do well at something you don’t like anymore. This time, you feel guilty for committing to things half-heartedly. You want to start that fresh new college chapter already, with all of this behind.

There’s ten minutes left. You go back to the empty hall outside the lockers only to pace. This isn’t helping.

“(name)!”

You turn around abruptly to find Sungchan’s tall figure, and you must be looking miserable because his smile falls.

He doesn’t even ask what’s wrong, only takes careful steps towards you. “Do you need water? Medicine?”

His hands hover over your shoulder but he doesn’t burden you with them. You put your face in your palms and sigh, sinking down to the floor in a crouch.

“I want to quit,” you whisper. Your voice comes off more brittle than you’d like, and you realize that Sungchan hasn’t seen you cry since seventh grade when you failed a math test. You didn’t tell him then but you appreciated him studying extra hours for math just to teach you.

“You don’t have to go out there if you don’t want to,” he says quietly, dropping to the floor beside you. “I’ll stay with you.”

You stare at him dumbfounded. “Don’t be ridiculous! They’ll lose without you—you’re the ace, Sungchan!”

“There will always be an ace,” he retorts. “Maybe Jisung will finally get to shine. Or anyone else. I don’t mind spending an hour with you alone.”

You feel a hot flush spread over your cheeks. Looking away to the side, you mumble an ‘alright’ and only glance from the corner of your eye to see him smiling. Jung Sungchan is the most unreasonable boy you’ve ever met. Perhaps it makes him somewhat loveable too.

“It’s your last match,” you whisper helplessly.

“I’ll join the college soccer club and get to play more matches.”

You sigh, giving in. If he’s so adamant, you think that perhaps there is something in you worth sacrificing his game over. It makes an oddly warm feeling bloom in your chest. Sungchan is so damn convincing with his words. You wonder if it’s really okay.

With shoulders touching, an awkward silence takes over in the next second. You turn to him and open your mouth, watch him do the same and close it at the same time he does.

“You know,” he begins, “I was kind of lying about not worrying because I get the feeling coach will evaporate me tomorrow but—I can handle it. Mostly.”

You stare at him with wide, worried eyes. “You don’t have to do this, Sungchan. I’m the one running away.”

You slouch, pulling your knees closer to your chest and burying your face in them. The urge to scream is boiling within you but you can’t get caught. Not now.

“Sometimes to run is the brave thing,” he responds, insightful. “If you’re not up for it, it’s better to quit early than to regret it in the long run.”

You don’t know if it’s the fact that he just quoted Taylor Swift or spoke like your old school counselor—but you find yourself laughing. He makes sense. Sungchan, in his weird, oddball ways, always makes sense. And in that same way, he feels like home.

“You’re so good to me,” you say, looking up at him and at a proximity you’ve never been before.

It’s his turn to fluster, though he doesn’t do so as visibly as you do. He clears his throat, shifting his eyes around before meeting yours. “I- This is bad timing but… I like you. I really do. Since third grade when you drew that birthday card for me. I have it in my bedside drawer, by the way.”

He looks away and makes a face, probably wondering why he said that out loud.

You press your lips tight to prevent the smile that tugs at them. He looks at you with a wobbly smile, trying his hardest to resume his usual dignity—but he’s just a boy, after all. 

“My type is dumb and pretty, though?” You tease, the smile escaping. “You said it yourself.”

He blinks. “Well, I am pretty but if you want me to be stu—”

You shake your head. “I like you too. You don’t have to act cute.”

He pauses, thinking. “I have never acted cute in my life ever. I was born cu—”

You hold his face between your thumb and forefinger. “You do that again and you die.”

He breaks into a smile. 

“I’ve never met someone quite like you,” you whisper, embarrassed of your own feelings bubbling up from the bottle you had kept them in.

He laughs, open-mouthed and pretty. 

“Actually, hey, I didn’t like you all this time from fifth. I liked you and then I didn’t like you and then I liked you again—”

“Okay, I get it.”

His shoulders relax and he smiles at you. You look up at the clock on the wall by the entrance to the field and bite your lip. You don’t love performing anymore but you know all the girls do, even the stand-bys. Jisung might not have to take over Sungchan’s position but you bet one of those tenth graders would love to take yours, the same way you did back then. They’ve practiced harder than you too and it’s only a matter of deserving.

You take a deep breath and get up, pulling up Sungchan by the hand. He raises an eyebrow, inquisitive eyes scanning over your face and you smile at him, strengthening your resolve. You should have done this way sooner.

-

Sungchan plays. You don’t let him sit it out with you. 

Halfway through, you cheer the hardest you ever have, plastic decorative gemstones stuck by your eyes borrowed from the other girls cheering. It’s much more fun, you think. You’ve never experienced soccer like this. You’d love to sit at stadiums and join in victory chants. There’s enough weight off your chest to yell your lungs out.

Sungchan scores a goal almost immediately after and sends a thumbs up over to you. You laugh. This is the best break you’ve ever taken from cheerleading. 

“Ooh, is this perhaps the (name) effect?” Chenle’s voice rings through the speakers and you feel yourself shrink slightly under the eyes. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see your homeroom teacher signal very angrily to the commentator box. You shake yourself off it. So what if everyone’s looking?

Sungchan places his hands on his hips, chest heaving and sends another signal to you before beelining for a straight goal. You whoop and the girl with a notebook beside you is visibly annoyed at this point but you don’t care. 

Without doubt, your school wins and you watch as Sungchan runs to his team, a big smile on his face. The second he’s done getting pet by the team, however, he rushes to the bleachers, skipping over the steps to you, panting when he stops. The risk he took was definitely not calculated. He holds up one finger while he heaves.

“My cheering worked best this time, it seems,” you say to him, laughing.

His face is flushed from the exertion but he laughs heartily. “You could be yelling profanity at me and it’d still encourage me.”

You shake your head at the cheesy line. He takes a step forward, well inside your space but you don’t mind. He leans in.

“Everyone is looking at us,” he says under his breath. “Is that a good or a bad thing?”

You look behind him to find the whole team, along with your girls sharing furtive glances and giggling at the sight of the two of you. A few of the junior girls slap each other’s arms, bouncing on the balls of their feet in excitement. You’re not a celebrity. But everyone wants to cheer things on once in a while, don’t they?

“Good,” you answer, before pulling him by the shirt into a chaste kiss. When you pull apart, Sungchan’s face is so struck with awe that you want to look away but instead you bite back an obvious smile. It’s about damn time, someone from the soccer team yells.

“Woah. I think I scored a goal either way,” he says, an offbeat smile on his face.

“Oh come on, we didn’t even get to chant ‘Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!’ yet—oh shit, the mic’s on.”

Chenle is definitely getting an earful from your teacher after this. The two of you wave at him at the box and end up laughing at him trying to hide behind the desk. 

As expected, the whole crowd surrounds the two of you in less than a minute’s worth of time, with several congratulations and “good score” offered to the two of you. The boys mess up Sungchan’s hair while the girls compliment you on how cute a couple you are. There’s also the question of when you started dating that pauses the buzz and makes everyone look to the two of you for an answer. Sungchan turns to you and you turn to him, and there’s no way you’ll tell half the school that your confession came in a private hallway outside the field—teenage imaginations run wild. 

Instead, you slip your hand into Sungchan’s and run down the bleachers and towards the exit, laughter spilling from your lips. There’s only one place you can think of going to spend a cool blue late afternoon with.

“Skate plaza?” He asks.

“Skate plaza,” you answer.

[v-hope]

With You

Pairing: Jeon Jeongguk x Reader

Genre: Fluff, smut, College!AU, established relationship

Word Count: 5.2k

Summary: Although trying to fight it, Jeongguk can’t help but become insecure about your relationship after your ex best friend starts filling his head with lies about you and Taehyung, his best friend who you just so happened to be out with that day. Good thing is, you’re right there with him to reassure him you want him and only him.

—Alternatively, the one in which during a heated make out session you find out your boyfriend is a virgin, and decide to help him get himself off.

Warnings: Heavy making out, light body touching (?), dry humping, confident Guk and shy/awkward Guk keep switching places, handjob, blowjob. And yup, Guk’s (still) a virgin.

A/N: Helloo, this from part 28 of my Social Media AU ‘Tiger Flower’, but I guess you can still read it if you haven’t read the full story lol. So this was supposed to be a 2k drabble like the ones I always write but I got a bit carried away 🤡 I hope you enjoy! 💕 ALSO, someone asked me to bold the beginning and ending of the smut part(s), so if you don’t wanna read the smut just look for the bolded words and skip what’s in between lol.

Running his hands through his face as the elevator’s doors opened, Jeongguk started walking through the hallway to his place, head lowered as he absently looked in his pocket for the keys to the apartment.

The conversation he had with Sooyeon was still going through his mind over and over. Although he had managed to sound confident enough through the texts they had exchanged and he had put her in her place —along with blocking her ass just like he had wanted to ever since the first time she brought you up into the conversation—, he could not deny her words did hit home.

Taehyung was definition of your type. Outgoing, talkative, funny, handsome. The life of the party, in other words. Something he was not, and something he would never be, considering he did not show up to parties at all if it wasn’t because he was either forced to by his friends or because you would be there.

Taehyung could most definitely show you a good time, whereas he, on the other hand…

No, fuck that. You were dating him. He was your boyfriend. He, Jeon Jeongguk. That was all he could find comfort in.

Then again, you were not with him right then. You were somewhere else with Taehyung. As friends, but still. And then again, just like he had a high school crush on you and found himself falling all over again three years into college, so had you with Taehyung right before dating him. Would it really be that hard for you to fall for him a third time when the two of you were still so close?

He shook his head, as if trying to shake his thoughts away. Don’t let Sooyeon get to you, Y/N’s with you for a reason. Don’t let Sooyeon get t—

“Hey…”

Before his head could keep on torturing him, your voice brought him back out of his small trance, fixing his wide doe eyes on you for two seconds before he took in his surroundings, only then realising he had already reached his apartment’s door.

Staring back at you, his eyes lit up.

“Hey,” he said softly. “What… What are you doing here?”

You shifted nervously in your place. “You sounded kinda off through texts, so I just wanted to check up on you”.

He nodded quietly, fighting the huge smile that was threatening with forming on his lips.

Because you were there. With him.

“You didn’t, um…” his eyes travelled to the door for a second before they were back on you. “Joon-ie hyung didn’t open the door for you?”

A small laugh escaped your lips at the way his eyebrows had furrowed, ready to fight his roommate for leaving you waiting out there for God knows how long. “I didn’t call on the door” you explained, causing his eyebrows to knit further together in utter confusion. “I didn’t know if you wanted me here at all, so I thought I’d just wait outside in case you wanted to be alone and asked me to g—”

Your words were cut off by a sweet kiss being pressed to your lips. Although taken aback the first second, you smiled when he cupped your face to press his mouth deeper against yours.

“What was that for?” you smiled once he pulled away, eyes still closed as you felt his nose gently bumping yours.

“I’m just happy you’re here” he breathed contently.

“That’s good to hear” you sheepishly admitted, resting your hands on his chest. “I honestly thought you would ask me to leave”.

He shook his head no, pecking your lips before he pulled you into his arms. “Don’t be silly, you know I always want to be with you”.

You took in a shaky breath, feeling all the tension you had been building up until then leave your body for good, and then wrapping your arms tightly around him as well. “Yeah, but you sounde—”

“Shh,” he hushed you, pressing a brief kiss to your neck. “I want you here”.

You let out another laugh, not only because of how happy his words made you, but because of the way he later grabbed your face once again to start peppering kisses all over it.

“Yah, Jeon Jeongguk!” you called him out in between giggles. “We’re in the middle of the hallway”.

He laughed, pecking your lips one last time before he pulled away. You just didn’t know how much it meant to him having you there with him right then when he needed you the most.

Without another word, he took his keys out of his pocket, like he had intended to minutes ago, and finally opened the door.

Stopping in his tracks, he turned around to look at you with a raised brow. “You’re coming in, right?”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean, since you ask so nicely…”

Rolling his eyes at your overdramatic ways, he grabbed your hand, pulling you inside his place with him, not giving you time to even take a look around as he dragged you into his room.

“I don’t even get to say hi to Joon?” you teased as you closed the door behind you and he went to lie down on his bed.

“You can go say hi if you want” he replied simply, resting his weight on his elbows so he could properly look at you.

“Nah,” you shrugged, watching his nose scrunch up as his lips parted into a big smile when you started walking towards him. “I came to see you after all”.

“That you did” he contently affirmed, that being all he needed to let go of his intrusive thoughts.

Letting his back fall on the bed once again, he stretched his arm out on the mattress for you to go over there. Without another word, you crawled in bed with him, resting your head on his arm just like he wanted you to, scooting closer to him when his hand rested on your shoulder, and then resting yours on his chest.

“So how was work?” you tried to initiate small talk, tenderly running your fingers in circular motions from his chest to his abdomen.

The sigh that had escaped his mouth let you know not so well.

Work itself had been alright . What happened afterwards when he was heading home and Sooyeon texted him? Yeah, that had been shitty as hell.

“I blocked Sooyeon” he let you know.

Your head snapped up. “Hadn’t you already done that?”

“From Instagram, yeah” he nodded. “I blocked her phone number now. It can be a little awkward tomorrow when I see her but it’s the last day of filming, so I couldn’t care less”.

Although wanting to laugh —because, let’s be honest, that new piece of information could only bring you joy—, you ended up pouting in confusion.

“Something happened?”

“The usual,” he took in a deep breath. “She was talking shit”.

You nodded understandingly. Although wanting to know the details, you understood he didn’t really want to talk about it, for otherwise he would’ve told you by then. So, you said nothing, settling for pressing a lingering kiss to his shoulder instead.

“Is that why you were upset?” you wondered.

Jeongguk stayed quiet, both in awe at how you could tell he wasn’t feeling his best just by a couple of texts, and once again upset at the conversation he had held with Sooyeon earlier that evening.

“Kinda” he tried to shrug it off.

You puckered your lips, stopping your soothing motions on his torso and resting your palm on it instead so you could support your body up as you looked for his chocolate eyes.

“Was it because I went out with Tae?”

The way his body had tensed was all the answer you needed. However, he surprised you by shaking his head no.

“It wasn’t… I mean,” he sighed, pushing his hair back with his hand. “You guys are friends, it’s okay”.

You stared at him intently. Maybe he claimed it didn’t bother him, but his eyes right then, which remained fixed on the ceiling instead of your concerned ones, told you otherwise.

Placing your hand on his arm and giving it a light squeeze, you leaned in to briefly press your lips to his cheek. “I’m sorry,” your sincere words managed to catch his attention. “I should’ve asked if you were okay with it”.

He shook his head no immediately, sitting up and resting his back on the headboard. “You don’t need to ask for my permission to meet up with people, petal”.

“I know, but,” you shrugged, sitting up as well by his side and focusing your eyes somewhere other than his. “Everything is still kind of recent, I should’ve been more considerate of your feelings. I’m just so used to hanging out with mostly guys that I forget I have a boyfriend now and you—”

You caught on the way he had —teasingly— raised up a questioning eyebrow, making you mentally go over the words you had just said and panic once you realised how wrongly you had worded them.

“Wait, no!” you tried to correct yourself immediately, as he could no longer hold his serious semblance and started laughing. “I don’t forget I have a boyfriend, I meant that I forget you might not be very fond of—yah!” you called him out when his laugh did no longer allow your words to be heard.

“I know what you meant, petal” he reassured you, grabbing your hand and gently running his thumb on the back of it. “You look so cute when you panic”.

“Aish, you’re so annoying” you crossed your arms over your chest.

Chuckling at your cute annoyance, he took advantage of your folded arms to pull you towards him by them, having you instinctively straddle his lap after his lips collided with yours.

“You’re really okay with it then?” you asked one last time, cupping his face as he opened his eyes; watching the way they smiled right before he nodded.

He trusted you. Both you and Taehyung. He really did.

He knew the two of you were just friends. After all, he had told Taehyung it was okay for him to hang out with you from time to time back when they had The Talk. And he was truly okay with it. It was just that he couldn’t help being insecure sometimes, and Sooyeon’s words had only managed to increase that feeling.

He needed some reassurance from you, that was all.

“Just…” he licked his lips as he tried to find the right words. “You want to be with me… right?”

You answered his question with a slow, lingering kiss. One that left him aching for more, lips slightly puckered when yours left their touch. “I’m with you for a reason, bun” you cooed. “I mean, I am your girlfriend after all, am I not?”

He smiled blissfully, still feeling a wave of heat run up his body whenever that word was mentioned in reference to you, as he was not quite used to it yet. “Don’t go forgetting I’m your boyfriend then”.

Just as a light laugh escaped your mouth at his mocking remark, he entangled his fingers in the hair at the back of your head to pull you back into his lips, resting one of his hands on your lower back as you wrapped your arms around his neck the way he loved it, slightly opening your mouth to give him easier access to it.

And maybe it was the loose fabric of the oversized hoodie of his you had kept and were wearing that day, that made it so easy for his hands reach for your naked body underneath, or maybe it was just the way he had been craving you for so long, what made him dig his hands inside of it without a second thought — fingertips hesitantly tracing your skin and thumbs drawing circles on your waist for a couple of seconds before they trailed all the way up to the hem of your bra, where they stopped in their tracks and travelled to your back instead, as he didn’t want to overstep any more boundaries than he already thought he had.

Earning a small protesting whine from him when your mouth let go of his, you surprised him by digging your own hands under your hoodie and grabbing his wrists, causing a shaky break to abandon his mouth when you placed his hands on your breasts, just like that, giving him the last little push he needed to do what he was dying to.

“You can touch me all you want” you managed to say a little out of breath, not having time to feel shy at your own words under his piercing stare before his mouth was once more smashing on yours.

Enjoying the spoken consent you had just given him, he wasted no time in cupping your breasts, smiling in between your kisses at the way they felt so perfect in his hands — imagining how much softer they would feel without the lacy fabric in the way.

Letting go of one of them, he placed his hand on your bare back to pull you closer against his chest, giving the one still in his hold a firm squeeze that had you moaning against his lips.

And right then, he felt something he had not quite felt before. It was the way he felt his blood boil and the way he wanted more. He wanted to hear more of that melodic sound. He wanted more of you.

Only, the next second, it was you the one making a raspy moan come out of his mouth, when you grinded against his lap, providing him the friction he didn’t know he needed so bad.

Removing one of his hands from underneath your hoodie, he cupped one of your cheeks to keep you steady as he sucked your bottom lip into his mouth, tongue tracing its outline so you would open up. Doing as he wanted, you felt his tongue pleasantly massage yours, deciding right then you also wanted to feel his bare skin against your fingertips, not letting any other second go by before your hands were already making their way inside his black sweatshirt, feeling goosebumps form on his skin as your faint touch inevitably tickled his abdomen.

Letting go of his mouth, you planted a kiss to his jaw before making your way down to his neck, getting a gasp out of his mouth when you started sucking at the sensitive skin.

With the intention of keeping you still on his lap as your hungry lips worked on his neck, he placed both of his hands on your hips — momentarily forgetting about his own strength and ending up pulling you down roughly enough for you to unintentionally rub once more against his already hardening member.

“Fuck” he rasped, feeling you smile agains his neck before you rolled your hips one more time just to get another moan out of him.

Not letting go of your hips, if anything grabbing them tighter, he turned both of you around so he could be in control now. With your head hitting the soft pillow, and still taken aback by his sudden actions, you allowed his needy lips to attack yours once more for a while before they peppered small kisses all their way down to your neck.

“Jeongguk” you moaned when he thrusted his hips against your center.

He smiled, loving the tone his name had just came out with from your pretty lips. Wanting more of it, he did it again, going back to your mouth right in time to muffle the moan that had just escaped your mouth, as you could not be anything other than grateful at the fact he had decided to wear a pair of dark joggers that particular day, allowing you to feel his stiff member with little to no restraints.

With one hand holding onto your hip and his other one making its way back inside your hoodie and up to your breasts, he cupped one of them — his thumb giving attention to your nipple by making circular motions over the thin fabric of your bra and having you bite your bottom lip to hold back a moan.

Losing yourself into his pleasant touch, you rested your hands over his back, wrapping your legs tight around his waist, pulling his hips once more into your center. A satisfied smile curved up your lips at the way he had to let go of your mouth and buried his face in the crook of your neck to muffle the quite loud moan that had just escaped his lips — thrusting into you one more time just as you rolled your hips up to meet him there.

Breathing heavily at the ongoing friction, you let your hands travel down to the waistband of his joggers so you could pull them down and feel him up.

And although for just a second, you felt his lips abandon the spot they had been teasing on your neck — an almost inaudible gasp escaping his mouth as his body tensed up.

That was all you needed to stop.

“What happened?” you worried.

“Nothing” he was quick to try and brush it off, going back to pepper wet kisses to your neck.

“No, Guk” you lightly pushed him off you, cupping his face in your hands so he had no choice but to look at you. “If you don’t want t—”

“I want to” he stated before you could even finish your sentence.

Fuck, he wanted to.

“Then?”

Jeongguk sighed in defeat, managing to break free from your hold and letting his forehead fall to your shoulder. “It’s embarrassing…”

Your eyebrows furrowed, not understanding where he was trying to go with this at all. “You can trust me”.

He took in a deep breath. He knew he could trust you. He knew you would never make fun of him for such a thing. However, to him, his lack of experience, especially since you did have some of it, could only be something he felt insecure about.

“Bun…” you tried to reassure him, wrapping your arms around him and planting kiss after kiss to the side of his head.

“I’ve never…” his voice came out muffled as he spoke against your shoulder, making it harder for you to hear.

“What?”

“I’ve never had...” he spoke louder this time. “You know…”

He found delusional how hard it was for him to admit it. He had never really minded, to be honest. Whenever his friends teased him because of it he would just brush it off. It wasn’t that he was not interested in having sex, he was a young man with many needs after all. And it wasn’t that he didn’t feel ready either —or well, that until that evening, because it was fair to say he was freaking out now that it was you the one he was about to be with—. It was just that no one had ever caught his attention the way you had. There was never someone he felt the need to have this kind of intimacy with, until you.

That’s why, unlike with his friends, he did mind when it came to you. It was hard for him to admit it to you because, although he knew you’d understand, you could always be disappointed at his lack of experience, and it was precisely not being good enough for you what worried him the most, what had made him hesitate before.

“You’ve never… had sex?” you softly finished for him.

He nodded shamefully, and for a good couple of seconds you couldn’t believe him. Yes, he had told you once he had never been on a date, but dates are different than sex. For starters, you didn’t need to really talk during sex, which was what you knew troubled him the most about dates and just meeting people in general. Besides, with a guy as handsome as Jeongguk, you had been positive he must’ve been with someone at least once.

However, opposite to the disappointed reaction he thought you would have, he found himself relaxing under your touch when you pressed a kiss to his head.

“Gotta say I can’t believe and am kinda disappointed that no one ever tried to jump your bones before” your bold words had him laughing in a second, pinching one of your sides to call you out on them. “Seriously, bun. I mean, look at you!”

“Shut up” he mumbled, feeling his cheeks burn in embarrassment.

You chuckled, gently shoving his face with your shoulder to let him know you wanted him to look at you, making him feel at ease just by seeing the smile on your lips once he did as told. “It’s okay”.

“It is?” his voice came out uncertain.

You nodded, cupping his face. “Of course it is. I’ll wait for as long as you want me to”.

“But I want to” he pointed out embarrassingly fast, earning a light laugh from you.

“Then I’ll just wait until the moment’s right and you feel like going through with it without hesitating” you kissed his pink lips briefly — as if on cue, your heads snapping to the next room after hearing Namjoon drop something and cursing at it. “And until we’re alone and won’t risk being heard by our roommates, maybe”.

Jeongguk laughed at your last addition, leaning in to peck your lips three times. “I like the sound of that” he smiled, only for it to be erased when his eyes instinctively went down to the problem he had just been left with inside his pants. “I should probably, um…”

Your eyes followed his as they glanced down to his still hardened length. You had been too caught up on kissing him before to pay attention to it. But now, watching the outline of his erection poking through his sweatpants, you found yourself wanting more of him all over again.

“I can help you with that if you want” you couldn’t stop the words from coming out of your mouth, having his attentive eyes lock with yours in a second. “We don’t need to have sex for that”.

Jeongguk licked his lips, deep in thought over something he already knew the answer to. “Don’t feel like you have to...”

“I want to” you stated.

Simple as that, he found himself nodding — your determined eyes being the last push he needed to let go of the shyness he had suddenly been filled with and just give in to what he wanted, to what he needed.

With a smile curving up your lips, you gently stole a kiss from his mouth, sweetly pecking it a couple of times before you finally sucked on his bottom lip — a muffled moan coming out of his mouth when you gave it a teasing bite right as your hand palmed him over his pants.

“You have to be quiet” you reminded him with a light laugh. And for a second there you were kinda glad it wasn’t you the one on the receiving side, for you weren’t sure you’d be able to keep it down either at all.

Not being able to say anything in reply, he just nodded — a pretty eager nod that seemed more like one to move on from the topic already than one of agreement. Nevertheless, you had no intentions of stopping, (un)luckily for him.

Pressing another kiss to his swollen lips, you fidgeted with the waistband of his joggers just like you had intended to before. This time, he didn’t tense up, and you took that as your green light before you dug your hand in them.

“M—Fuck” he mewled when you took a hold of his cock, burying his face in the crook of your neck as you guided it out of his clothes.

Letting go of it for a second, you helped him on his back so you could sit up into a more comfortable position before wrapping your hand around it again, and right then you could’ve sworn you would never get tired of the pretty sounds that escaped his lips every time you touched him.

Gently, as you were just then discovering what it was he enjoyed the most, you started giving him a few pumps, trying to find the right pace for him and his needs.

“Baby, fuck” he breathed out, leaning his head deeper againt the pillow as he looked for some kind of support.

And it was the way he faintly thrusted his hips up into your hand, what let you know he was craving more. Not having to think twice, you sped up the pace of the way your hand moved up and down his length, tightening your hold on it just a little bit more.

“Mm… Just like that,” he let you know softly, as if suddenly remembering about the whole being-quiet-thing. “Just like that”.

“Feels good?” you wondered, enjoying the view of his furrowed eyebrows and closed eyes as he gave in to your touch.

“So good” he agreed.

Licking your lips, you stared down at his hard cock in your hand, giving it one last pump before your thumb slowly spread his precum over its tip.

“You alright with just my hand?” you asked and he was nodding before you could finish the question, which made you wonder if he had even heard it at all or was immersed enough in his own pleasure to agree to anything. “Or would you enjoy my mouth being wrapped around you better?”

His eyes opened as soon as the word ‘mouth’ was on the table, studying your face for a couple of seconds to make sure you were not playing with him in his vulnerable state. At the sight of your lustful eyes on him, however, he knew you were indeed very serious. And he’d be damned if he ever turned down such an offer.

“I want your mouth” although determined, his voice came out shakily.

Nevertheless, you were willing to comply with his wishes.

Jeongguk was on the edge of losing it when he saw you smile and make your hair out of the way right before you leaned down, removing your thumb from the tip of his cock so you could replace it with your tongue instead — a hiss escaping his mouth when you licked the traces of the precum you had just spreaded over it.

Giving him two small pumps, you allowed yourself to take him in your mouth; far from being able to take his entire length, yet enough for his body to tremble out of utter pleasure.

“Y/N…” he whimpered, fingers entangling in your hair as he desperately tried to control the overwhelming pleasure your wet mouth and tight lips wrapped around his cock were giving him.

Not once had he ever felt this good before, both your hand and mouth taking him places his hand alone could’ve never taken him to. And he was afraid he would come in your mouth anytime by then.

Pulling it out of your mouth, you threw him a small glance before you carried on — your tongue tracing all the way from the base to the tip, hearing him moan when you took him in your mouth a second time.

“Fuck, baby, you—ah,” he moaned when you swirled your tongue over his tip. “You feel so good”.

Enjoying way too much being the reason behind how good he was feeling, you decided to do him a favour and push him closer to his release for once and for all.

Slightly tightening your hold on him, you started once again moving your hand up and down his length, switching between the ministrations both your hand and mouth were applying on it, and knowing you were driving him over the edge when his hold on your hair tightened and his body trembled ever so slightly.

“Y/N…” he panted. “F-Fuck, I’m—”

His words were cut off by the heavy breath he had to take when you gave him one last particular pump, trying his best to hold on. Noticing that, you gave one of his thighs a squeeze to let him know it was okay for him to let go. And he was so desperate to reach his high right then, that your small gesture alone was all he needed to do so.

Closing his eyes, he found himself having to cover his mouth with his arm not to be too loud when his orgasm hit, feeling his warm release spreading into your mouth. Moving his hand up to cover his eyes as he came down from his high, letting himself get lost in the aftershocks of it, he missed the way you tasted his release in your mouth.

Cleaning the small stains of it left on the tip of his member, you adjusted it back inside his pants and went to lie down next to him, smiling adoringly at the way his chest moved up and down as he tried to catch his breath and tenderly removing his arm from his face, having his eyes find yours in a second.

“Was that okay?” you asked, softly removing a few strands of hair that had gotten stuck to his slightly sweaty forehead.

Jeongguk smiled incredulously, gently running his fingers through your hair to try and fix the mess he had made on it. “You even have to ask?”

And somehow that was all you needed to hear for the heat to reach your face, suddenly feeling shy at what you had just done.

Catching up on that, he pulled you into his arms, pressing a couple of kisses to your cheek before moving them to your mouth, where they remained for a little longer.

“You’re amazing” he said truthfully — the way he had said it, letting you know he did not just mean it when it came to sucking him off.

You smiled wholeheartedly. “Yah, don’t” your eyes focused somewhere else, feeling your face burn.

Jeongguk smiled sweetly, managing to draw your attention back to him by ever so tenderly caressing your cheek. Fuck, he loved you. And right then, with your eyes looking at him in a way he thought they had never when you were just friends, although unspoken, delusional even, he really felt like maybe you felt the same, too.

Tilting your face up just enough, he connected his lips with yours for what felt like the hundredth time that evening. “I’ll be good to you, too”.

You chuckled, loving the idea of it and kissing him briefly to let him know you did. You knew he would.

“When we’re alone, though. I won’t have Joon hear from me what he probably just heard from you”.

Jeongguk laughed, deciding to say nothing and instead pull you tightly into his chest and rest his chin on your head. And although he knew he might never hear the end of it from his friends, for once, he did not care what the rest had to either think or say.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Chosen (Park Seonghwa) Rated

Pairing: Creature! Park Seonghwa × Human! Reader (Female)

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Sci-Fi/Fantasy AU.

Summary: Symbolizing purity, innocence, and daintiness, the Daughters of Aster had been hand-picked since a young age to be brought up and raised for a very special task: to carry the offspring of the nobility in the kingdom, which just so happens to consist of cold-blooded humanoid creatures. And now that she's become of age, it's Y/N's turn to be auctioned off to the highest bidder.

Word Count: 5.6K

Warnings: Tentai content including tentacle bondage, tentacle sucking, breast play, suction play, breeding kink, penetration with tentacles, multiple orgasms, semi voyeurism, reader is a virgin and Seonghwa is whipped for her, mentions of eggs, and stomach bulges. (It's my first time writing actual tentacle smut so I apologize if it sucks.)

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Gulping harshly as she pressed a hand to open the large, metal gate that guarded the huge mansion, the young woman hesitantly stepped inside the spacious and grim-looking garden. Underestimating the weight of the gate, she softly jolted back when it suddenly slipped out of her grasp and clashed back into place. She winced momentarily when the loud noise seemed to resonate, spooking several of the small critters and ravens that roamed around the small terrain. Glancing back, she half expected an old groundskeeper to swoop out of one of the trees and chastise her reckless behavior. But nothing surrounded the area except the foliage, trees, and rose bushes that added to the beauty of the grand estate.

Gathering back her courage, the quaint young woman took slow and careful steps across the small dirt path that led straight to the front stairs of the mansion. It was a somewhat terrifying architectural design, reminiscent of the old gothic-styled cathedrals from ancient times, not at all fashioned after the pompous and outlandish French designs most of the other members of the aristocracy preferred. The gray stone walls made the place seem cold and distant, the hardly lit windows signaled that it was probably rarely inhabited, and the black ravens perched on the top of the sculpted angel monuments lined up through the staircase only made the sensation feel more haunting and chilly.

Finally, in front of the main entrance, she hesitated as her fingers brushed along the round metal door handle. She felt frozen with fear as she realized there was no returning after all. This was the moment she had been prepared for her entire life. In a few moments, she was about to meet.....

Her master.

Just that thought sent shivers down her spine. She did not wish to ponder too much on the various horror stories she often heard back in the institute, nor imagine what kind of life she would live now as a surrogate to one of...their kind.

In the very moment she lifted her hand once again, she took a jerked back when the door seemingly opened by itself, a young maid looking surprised to see her standing there. Upon inspecting her attire and recognizing the crest that held her dark blue cloak in place, the maid's expression beamed with joy.

"Oh! You must be Miss Y/N correct?"

Nodding her head and affirming it was indeed she, Y/N felt puzzled when the tiny maid practically yanked her inside, albeit not intended to harm her, she simply seemed excited about her presence, which frankly made no sense to her. It was not as if surrogates were treated with kindness let alone respect. When her hands reached up towards her neck, the young woman was quick to stop her.

"Oh please! Let me do that for you."

Although she was not particularly fond of people coming up so close in her personal space, she maintained a calm demeanor whilst the maid removed the long cloak off her frame, delicate hands folding it perfectly and tucking it under her arm.

"I'll have this cleaned and ironed out for you Miss before taking it back to your room. You must be famished after coming here after such a long journey." She paused briefly and examined Y/N's complexion, which seemed rather pale and depleted, making her pout rather sadly at the state their new guest was in.

"If you would like, I can ask the cook to prepare a meal for you. Do tell, what is your favorite dish?"

Y/N waved a dismissive hand at the kind lady's offer.

"Please, do not trouble yourself. I am not the least bit hungry." Indeed, it was not a lie. She was overly anxious and uneasy that she did not believe it to be possible to even fathom stomaching any sort of sustenance at that moment.

"If you do not mind and if it is allowed... I would much prefer to retire for the evening." Y/N humbly requested.

Nodding with the understanding that the new company was weary, the young maid took hold of a golden bell tied around her waist and proceeded to ring it moderately. In mere seconds, a tall sharply dressed gentleman came up and bowed towards her.

"Cedric would you please escort Miss Y/N to her room?"

Gesturing for her to follow, the butler guided her up the flight of stairs into the second story of the house. Passing through a long corridor, Y/N glanced now and then at the outside patio through the windows that overlooked the gardens. They were much larger than what she initially thought, and the longer she looked, the denser the trees seemed to appear. She was so distracted by the scenery that she nearly collided face-first into the poor butler's back had he not spoken up first and made her steps come into a screeching halt.

"This will be your room from now on miss." Producing a string of keys out of his pocket, Cedric unlocked the door and gently pushed it open, stepping inside to make room for Y/N to pass.

Her breath was nearly taken away by the sheer size of the room. It was double the size of the old living space she used to share with 6 other girls back in the institute and was furnished with more than what she'd ever need. The decor too seemed like something more befitting for someone of the family than for someone of her station.

"If there is anything the matter with the decor or should you prefer a different pattern, you may simply speak the word and the Master shall arrange for the room to be modified as you like."

At the mention of the Master, Y/N felt that nerve-racking tingle travels down her body once again.

"Shall you need any assistance, please feel free to ring the bell attached by your bed and one of us will be more than happy to aid you?" Reaching for the door handle, Cedric bid her good night before closing the door to leave her to her thoughts.

Still feeling cold from the long walk, Y/N stepped closer to the fireplace, outstretching her hands in hopes of warming them up. She was grateful that although not expecting her early, they had prepared a nice fire to warm up her room. After getting filled with the heat, Y/N went over to one of the dressers so that she could change into her night attire. Upon opening the many drawers, she was shocked at not finding any of her old clothes, instead, there was an abundance of luxurious clothing which she did not recognize. Storming over to the large wardrobe, she too found that none of her personal belongings had been delivered, they seemed to have all been replaced with new apparel. Knowing that she had no choice, she went back to the first dresser that she had looked in before and rummaged through to find the plainest and simple nightgown she could find. Reaching for the row of buttons training down the middle of her blouse, she undid them one by one with utter care before slipping it off her body, letting the garment fall on the floor. Running the zipper down, her long and flowing skirt joined her blouse, one foot delicately kicking them away for the time being. Standing there in nothing but her undergarments made Y/N suddenly feel apprehensive. She carefully looked around the room again, feeling the strange sensation that someone was watching her. Shaking that thought out of her head, she quickly threw the nightgown over her head and finished dressing. The fabric was soft to the touch and it didn't scratch against her delicate skin, but the most surprising factor was that it fit like a glove on her body. It made her wonder if perhaps they had prepared it in advance or it was merely a coincidence.

Picking up her discarded clothes, she neatly placed them on the table near her, slightly folding them and smoothing them over. Going over to the bed, she pulled back the covers before sliding her body onto the mattress and covering herself. She couldn't help the small blissful sigh coming out of her mouth as her sore limbs welcomed the soft and comfortable bed, the pillow feeling like a fluffy cloud. As she laid there, she began to reminisce about all the events that led up to that very moment, or more specifically, that very morning during the Auctioning.

Hearing the loud applause coming from the other end of the room, Y/N tried to calm her nerves, knowing she was the next one in line to face the crowd. As soon as she took one step forward, she was stopped by none other than the Head of the Institute, who took hold of her wrist and looked at the girl behind her.

"Abigail, you go next. Y/N, you're coming with me."

Without so much as a further explanation, Y/N found herself dragged away from the waiting room where her fellow inmates also looked at each other in confusion at the sudden interruption. Y/N wanted to speak up and ask what was happening, was she not to be auctioned off to one of the many noble families? The old woman of course knew all the questions Y/N had, but she didn't say a word until they were outside in the front of the building, where there was a carriage awaiting her.

"Your personal belongings have already been sent out to your new home. We've received word to have you delivered as soon as possible." Even with that brief explanation, Y/N still didn't understand anything. Noticing her distressed state, the Headmistress sighed softly.

"Y/N, you are not to be auctioned off like the rest of the girls. Someone has already purchased you many months back, but it seems they accidentally forgot it and thus added you to the lineup. Luckily, I managed to find you before you stood up on that platform. Certainly avoided a disaster." The old woman chuckled, yet that did not relieve Y/N's worries.

What did she mean someone had already bought her? Who were they? Where was she sold off to?

Unfortunately, none of those questions were answered, instead, she found herself being pushed inside the carriage and speedily taken away to an unfamiliar side of the country that she had never seen before, away to who knew where until she ended up right in the place she was currently in.

Drowsy and tear-filled eyes eventually closed even whilst remembering the events of the day. Y/N knew she was more than likely lucid dreaming as she slowly drifted off to sleep. She didn't feel fully unaware of her surroundings though, and perhaps it was that skeptical feeling that kept her on edge and guarded against anything around her. It especially came into help when she seemingly felt something stroke her cheek, gliding down to caress the outline of her jaw. At first, she believed it was nothing more than her imagination, but when she felt a thumb running across her bottom lip, she opened her eyes, screaming and sitting up when she saw a dark figure standing right in front of her. He was started himself by her outburst, immediately retracting his hand when he witnessed how agitated his innocent act had made her.

"I'm sorry..... I didn't mean to frighten you." His voice was soothing and low, clearly intended so that she'd calm down.

"Would you mind if I..." His gesture indicated that he wanted permission to come near her again, which she felt like she had no choice but to give.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, the handsome stranger reached out and cupped the sides of her face, moving it slowly to the left and then towards the right, eyes drinking up every detail of her countenance.

"My God, you're even more beautiful than the last time I saw you tending to the gardens in that place."

Hearing those words made Y/N widen her eyes. How did he know about that? Unless...

"Are... Are you my new master?" She couldn't even believe it.

The young man giggled softly.

"If you don't mind, I would much rather prefer if you called me by my name, Seonghwa." He introduced himself. Y/N briefly nodded, but obviously, it wasn't enough for him as he leaned in close, nose nearly bumping into her own.

"Please say it." He urged her to.

"Seonghwa." She breathed out his name, to which he let out a gentle smile as one of his hands moved to tuck some of her hair behind her ear.

"Once again, I apologize for startling you, my dear. I just got impatient and couldn't resist myself. I just had to see you." He confessed before getting up out of her space.

"You must be tired so I'll leave you be now. Get some rest love and I'll see you in the morning."

Y/N expected him to walk towards the same door she had come inside from, but she looked with astonishment as Seonghwa went over towards another door which she had mistakenly assumed to be her bathroom, and opened it up.

"My room adjoins to yours, so if you ever want to come and see me, I'm just a knock away." He fought hard to not laugh at her flustered expression, whispering out another good night before retreating into his chambers.

Y/N released a breath she didn't know she was holding. So far her new master looked...normal? Nothing at all like what she expected from the many tales that roamed back at the institute. Seonghwa was nothing that she expected, exceptionally beautiful, poised, kind, and gallant. But she knew she could not be fooled by his charming manners, after all, none of the members of the aristocracy were actual humans...

And it was only a matter of time before she figured out what sort of monster Seonghwa was.

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Y/N tried to steady her heartbeat as Seonghwa drew closer to her, lips brushing against her own. Although this was the exact moment she had been prepared all her life for, she still felt a tinge of nervousness as she felt Seonghwa's hands clasp around her waist, his body, which was all bare save for the briefs between his thighs, pressing against her own.

"Tell me, my dear has anyone ever kissed you before?" He smiled when she shook her head.

"May I kiss you?" His inquiry sounded so sweet and pure that Y/N didn't think twice about lifting her face and closing her eyes.

Seonghwa's lips were soft, reminding her of the soft petals belonging to the different roses in the gardens outside, precious little buds that she had been granted permission to take care of in the month she had been living with him. He had never once denied her anything and had been very attentive to her every need. And now as he tenderly kissed her, pouring his heart into the loving kiss, Y/N wondered if this is what love felt like, that foreign emotion that she'd often hear spoken about yet always been told it would never be something she or any of the other girls at the Institute would ever experience. She didn't know, but she knew that she enjoyed whatever this was, this feeling of Seonghwa's lips closing over hers, only to pull away and then dive back in, each minute that passed enabling his kissing to become more ardent and passionate. It was truly breathtaking for her, as she'd often find herself gasping for air each time his lips would pull apart from her mouth.

Starting at the corners of her lips, Seonghwa began pressing butterfly kisses down towards her jaw. Y/N's breath hitched, neck tilting back when she felt him nibbling against her skin. It seemed as if he knew exactly where to direct his attention towards, her sharp breaths an indication that she was warming up to his touches. Releasing one hand off her face, he moved it down until his fingers brushed against her collarbone, treading dangerously close to her covered bosoms.

"Now tell me, love has anyone ever touched you here?"

As if on instinct, Y/N arched her back towards his palms when they lightly squeezed at her pillowy mounds, a light, and embarrassed moan being uttered by her for the first time in her life.

"N-no, no one's ever touched me there." Her shy confession made him smirk as he then dropped his hand down to lift her flimsy nightgown.

"What about here? Has anyone touched here?"

Cupping her sex, he found it warm and inviting, his body aching to be inside of her, to fill her up and breed her as he wanted to. He didn't need her to answer, just her mouth going agape and emitting the cutest whimpers he had ever heard was enough of an answer.

"No of course not. You're pure and completely untouched by anyone else....." When she felt his fingers slide across her wettened folds, her hands reached out and gripped against his biceps, using them to keep herself steady as they continued exploring her deepest places. It felt so unusual yet wonderful to have Seonghwa pry open her lips, fingers ever so gradually slipping past her tightness to lodge inside her warm cavern. Once settled, they began moving, pulling themselves out before coming back in. To distract her, Seonghwa stooped down to kiss her once more, it felt more rushed than before, tongue occasionally poking outwards to scrape against the roof of her mouth. As his fingers worked hard to stretch her open and mouth busied in devouring her adorable whines, it was all to prepare her and get her to ease up before he continued with anything. Pulling away with a deep inhale, Seonghwa used his free thumb to wipe away the excess saliva on her bottom lip, breath ghosting over her own.

"Y/N... I'm going to need you to stay calm and not freak out. All right?"

By his tone, Y/N deduced that she was about to figure out just what exactly it was that made him different from her. She could feel him hesitate, looking just as scared as she did the first time she arrived at the estate. Just as she was about to assure him that she was not afraid, she felt something crawl up her legs, it was somewhat slimy and had a couple of ridges along the underside of it. Glancing down, she nearly fell back onto the bed when she witnessed two long tentacles wrapping themselves around her thighs, tearing up part of the silk fabric of her nightgown. Before she could stumble back, another tentacle launched out to wrap around her waist, pulling her forward to help her regain her balance. She breathed heavily, looking visibly shocked as she realized they were coming out of none other than Seonghwa himself. He scanned her face, trying to read her reactions. Scared? Disgusted? Apprehensive? It was rather difficult to make out exactly what she thought about his tendrils holding her steady and tightening around her body. Wanting to test something, he produced two more tentacles, these slightly thinner than the previous ones. They moved closer towards Y/N, who of course, instinctively recoiled from the unusual limbs.

"Don't worry. If I were in your position, I'd be utterly revolted as well." Although he spoke out those words with a dry smile, they held a lot of pain within them and it made Y/N saddened to hear him. Wanting to make up for it, she outstretched her hand towards the nearest tendril, the very limb slightly pulling away when it felt her come near. No doubt Seonghwa was hesitant about having her touch him. Undeterred, Y/N reached out once more, this time the tentacle didn't recoil but subtly leaned into her touch. Ever so slowly, it began to wrap around her arm, looping itself around her wrist, and settling itself on top of her palm. Y/N couldn't resist herself as she softly squeezed at the tender limb, thumb curiously playing around with the tiny suction cups along the underside of it. She couldn't help but giggle when it slightly slithered itself to attach some of the cups onto her palm, applying light pressure that had a rather pleasant feeling. So amused by the bizarre member, she didn't realize that the other thin tentacle had moved until she felt it loop itself on her other arm, the same as the one on her right side. Seonghwa felt relieved when she didn't seem afraid anymore, instead, she now smiled up towards him, fingers gently caressing the smooth surface of his tentacles. Unbeknownst to her, he could feel every touch ministered on them, the tentacles being a part of him, an extension of him. And they were highly sensitive to any sort of contact made with them.

"Can we...can we continue?" There was a slight quiver in his voice that did not go unnoticed by the woman held hostage by his slimy tendrils. Understanding exactly what he was referring to, Y/N nodded, eagerly awaiting to see just how Seonghwa would impregnate her.

Feeling herself lifted off the floor, the tentacles gently laid her down on the bed, detaching themselves momentarily off her body as they began poking around at the semi-ruined fabric of her attire. Grasping at several ends, Y/N gasped astonishingly when they tore off the rest of her dress, discarding the remaining pieces on the floor. Laying there completely naked in front of Seonghwa, who did not hide anything in his stare as they raked her entire body. Feeling self-conscious, Y/N moved to cover herself but the tentacles were faster as they wrapped around her wrists and ankles, holding the first ones above her face while the other ones kept her legs apart, allowing Seonghwa to fully gawk at her wetness. The thought of burying himself deep in her and breeding her made him uncontrollably hard.

Y/N squirmed as several more tentacles sprouted out of Seonghwa's body, making her question just how many he could produce. Two medium-sized ones traveled up her sternum, oozing out some sort of secretion that trickled onto her breasts. The tentacles then latched themselves onto her perky mounds, twisting and pulling at her nipples until they hardened and poked out. They continued to toy around with her boobs, flicking against her sensitive nubs now and then before going back to clamp down and attach their suction cups to her tender skin. Y/N shuddered as she felt them slightly vibrate, adding to the daze-inducing state she was drifting off to.

Just as she was distracted in enjoying the pleasure the two tentacles were giving her, she let out a shriek when she felt another slimy organ come up and flit at her clit. The tentacles around her ankles kept her from closing her thighs, leaving her with no choice but to succumb to the movements made in her delicate button. It felt so surreal, so extraordinary, and she writhed around on the bed as much as she was able to when the tiny end of the tentacle sped up and rubbed faster against her swelling clit, the delicious friction making her mouth water. She wondered if this was the bliss some of the girls back home talked about, the ones who had gone out of their way to break the solemn vow they swore about remaining intact and pure, forcing them out of the Institute as they were no longer considered valuable vessels for future buyers.

"If this is what they enjoyed then, I would have gladly broken my vow too." Y/N mused to herself. But then she remembered had she broken her vow she would have never been able to meet Seonghwa, and she'd grown attached to him in that short period of meeting him.

"No... It's better this way. Having saved my body just for him so he can use it as he pleases. Have me carry his children. Oh, God." She felt herself clench around nothing as she thought about being stuffed by him, carrying his babies. Months before, the idea of carrying the offspring of some humanoid stranger horrified her. Now, it thrilled her and she looked forward to it.

"I'm going to slide a few more inside of you now, ok? It might feel uncomfortable, but I promise I'll make sure you don't feel any pain." Y/N vigorously nodded, the tentacles around her ankles spreading her legs further and bringing them up so her knees were bent.

Two thinner tentacles, even thinner than the ones around her wrists came out and began probing around her hole, stretching it ever so slightly before sliding inside her. Y/N felt them scraping against her tender walls, leaving her flabbergasted at feeling them creep deeper and deeper against her right muscles, stopping once they reached her cervix. Ever so carefully, they position themselves at her opening, prying her cervix open. A dull sting shot up her body, not exactly painful, but it wasn't exactly pleasant to feel. Noticing this, Seonghwa made the tentacles release their hold on her tight rim.

"Perhaps I might need to make use of this after all."

Y/N didn't know exactly what 'this' was, all she felt was the two tentacles lightly thrust inside of her, tips flicking up to tease at her sweet spot. And then she felt it, the tentacles oozed some sort of secretion to coat her inner walls, even moving to spread some of the liquid against the entrance of her womb. The tentacle working on her clit had to momentarily stop when Y/N began spasming, small gasps and moans spilling out her lips, not realizing that she had just had a subtle orgasm, but Seonghwa knew. He felt when her juices covered her walls, causing them to become more slick and wet, an effect produced by the natural pheromones his tentacles had just sprayed inside her, helping her to relax and not feel any more discomfort. Although it would also make her highly sensitive, meaning she would become a sticky and panting mess by the end of it, every stroke or brush inside her body would be heightened considerably. And Seonghwa was rather curious to see how that would play out.

Finally, a rather large and thick tentacle sprung out, heading directly towards her opening. It contracted itself as it skimmed past her entrance, flowing smoothly thanks to the previous tentacles that had worked Y/N's core open and the pheromones he had induced into her. At first, nothing seemed to happen, then Y/N's mouth flew open as she felt the tentacle start expanding, bottoming out inside of her, forcing her stretched-out muscles to widen even more. Unable to resist the urge, she looked down, nearly wheezing as she looked at the tightly nestled tentacle inside of her, pulsing inside her slick covered borders. Just those small pulsing vibrations had her throwing her head back as more liquids seeped out of her. Feeling her arousal coating its skin, it seemed to rile up the large tentacle as it began pushing itself further until it reached the entrance of her cervix.

"Usually humanoids of my kind would place as many eggs can fit inside their surrogate's womb... But I don't wish to overwhelm you with that, especially since it's your first time." With a smug grin, Seonghwa stooped forward and placed a hand on top of her abdomen.

"So let's just try it with two."

The large tentacle began contracting once more, wriggling around as if trying to get something out. Y/N soon felt what it was as a smooth, round, and semi-hard object began pushing itself inside of her. The two smaller tentacles, which were still lodged on the sides of her walls, went back to pry her cervix open, allowing the egg easier access as it traveled through her tunnel and nestling itself inside her womb. Seonghwa watched proudly as her belly swelled up as soon as the egg lodged itself in her, fingers brushing against the oval outline bulging out of her skin.

"So pretty, so beautiful." He praised her, teeth tugging down at his bottom lip as a hidden tentacle had come out to rid him of his last article of clothing, stroking his hardened cock generously, the suction cups paying close attention to his leaking head.

"How are you feeling so far love?" Seonghwa wanted to make sure she was fine before proceeding.

Y/N fluttered her eyes open, soft pants spewing out her mouth.

"Please...more." That was all she could manage to mumble out.

Satisfied by her answer, the massive limb started wriggling once more, popping out another egg that scraped deliciously against the roof of her cave, journeying past her barriers and plopping next to the previous egg, joining it inside her womb. With slight embarrassment, Y/N cried out as another wave of pleasure poured out of her, hands wanting to cover her reddened face at the thought of so easily cumming by the mere thought of Seonghwa's eggs inside her while his tentacle continued throbbing inside her.

"Don't feel ashamed my love. I just so happen to enjoy watching your face contort with pleasure." His admittance only made her more sheepish and flustered.

"We're almost done, love. I just need to fertilize my eggs."

Y/N groaned loudly when the tentacle began moving, thrusting itself in and out, her previous juices seeping out every time it pulled out her body, creating a wet stain on the sheets underneath. Maybe it was her imagination, but Y/N swore she could feel the eggs move inside her, bouncing each time the tentacle pushed back inside her. The tendrils around her ankles and wrists tightened themselves, holding her steady as the tentacle started to plunge itself faster and deeper into her, twitching every so often, a sign it was getting ready to squirt into her womb.

Seonghwa was also enjoying the spectacle, watching closely as he was about to impregnate his darling surrogate, the tentacle wrapped around the shaft matching the movement the larger one was doing. He felt blessed to be able to feel both sensations at once, one being his cock stimulated while his tentacle had to endure Y/N's tightness clench unbearably around his slimy member. It was ecstasy for both of them, their grunts and moans echoing inside Seonghwa's room. Wanting her to experience the maximum pleasure he could offer, the tentacles laid out across her chest went back to their previous task of playing with her nipples, suckling on her tender flesh whilst the one between her legs toyed with her swollen clit. It was all so much for her that Y/N couldn't help it as her third orgasm of the night overtook her, this one more intense and prolonged by the endless amount of attention her body was receiving.

"Seonghwa!" She cried out, tears of over-stimulation brimming at the corners of her eyes.

Hearing her call out to him, Seonghwa himself hissed as the tentacle worked him over the edge, spurts of cum trickling down onto it as well as splattering onto the floor. The tentacle that was now coated with his cum moved towards Y/N's face, lightly tapping on her cheek. Turning to face it, she inhaled sharply and didn't hesitate to allow it to slide past her lips and wiggle inside her mouth. She moaned around the appendage, sucking on it, the sensations flowing back to Seonghwa's cock.

"Oh fuck." He exclaimed, the tentacle pushing itself on the back of her throat while the one between her legs rapidly moved to finish its final task.

Y/N's wailing was partially muffled by the tentacle stuffing her mouth, her body and mind spiraling out of control as she felt thick ropes of warm cum being gushed out of the tentacle and shooting straight into her womb. She could even feel her stomach swelling up even more by just the liquids being poured into her. It was enough to have her crying out once more, a state of euphoria clouding her mind as her 4th high shocked her senses, numbing everything except the feeling of the tentacles around and in her. Seonghwa himself didn't need further stimulation, cumming untouched for the second time when he finally finished breeding her, mouth drawing out long and labored breaths as he started to come down from his high.

Slowly, one by one the tentacles started pulling away from Y/N's body, disappearing back into Seonghwa's body. Both of them groaned deeply when the last tentacle pulled out of her agape hole, some of the leftover cum dribbling out onto the bed. Y/N felt so sore and so full, her hands reaching down to caress her now swollen stomach, surprised at how big it looked. She felt ready to pop at any moment. With utmost care, Seonghwa moved her further into the bed, helping her rest her head against one of the pillows and covering her up with the warm blanket. It wasn't long until she felt his body press up against hers, pulling her as close as was possible as one hand protectively wrapped around her belly.

"Thank you..."

She was so weary after that intense session that she could only mumble a barely audible 'huh?' at his words. Chuckling, Seonghwa pressed a kiss against her cheek.

"Thank you for carrying my babies. You have no idea how happy I am at this moment."

She could only manage to give out a faint smile at his words, fastly falling asleep when she felt him hum a soft tune against her ear.

"I'm so glad I chose you."

༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻

Taglist: @little-precious-baby @multidreams-and-desires @yunhofingers @deja-vux @brie02 @daniblogs164 @couchpotatoaniki @a-soft-hornytiny @yunsangoveryonder @minhyukmyluv @nanamarkie @mingismoon @ateezbabysitters @rainteez02 @harry-the-pottypus

[lunaastoir]

fluff/relationships w the liyue crew

characters included: xiao, childe, beidou, and zhongli

ik i forgot ningguang i promise i’ll include her in part 2, i just didn’t have time :(

all x a gn! reader 

my liyue babies :,) ft. ningguang in spirit

an: i was listening to my soft playlist (more like listening to cupid’s chokehold on repeat, no i am not basic 🔪) and i thought some fluff headcanons would be cute w these sweet people

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xiao

ok so no surprise that he hates liyue harbor

he hates anything w a lot of people in it so he prefers to stay at wangshu inn tyvm

but by contrast, you love liyue harbor sm (it’s gorgeous i mean c’mON)

you go there often to retrieve your commissions in order to stay closer to xiao (liyue harbor is closer than mondstadt he argues but you’re well aware that they’re both equally far away)

so if anyone asked, xiao would absolutely refuse to go to the harbor like i hate people??? why would you even ask???

but,,,he’s so sOFT for you

if you asked??? he would agree in a heartbeat

but since he’s >:( angsty boy, he makes you think that he won’t go even when he’s already decided that he’s coming w you

he puts up the “if you so require, then i guess i will assist you with your travels in liyue harbor” but in reality he would definitely have said yes even without the almond tofu

while he hates the harbor, he thinks that with you anything is bearable :,) simp

you take him to see xinyan to vibe w her music and you can tell he really enjoys it

even tho he’s like 🕴 the entire time, you see the softer look on his face and the very slight smile on his lips as he listens to the music and watches the crowd

so so so cute very soft for him

i do see him as a subtly touchy person in public like brushing the hair off your face, swiping his thumb across your cheek, or gently pulling your hair back when you have a plate of food in your hands 

the type to link your pinkies together - he claims it’s so you don’t get lost but yk better 

after the concert is done you take him to that one waypoint near mt. tianheng and the both of you just watch the city lights and the way they reflect beautifully on the water surrounding the harbor 

personal headcanon that xiao absolutely loves stargazing since he believes the stars are the one true constant in his life especially since he’s experienced so much loss (basically they’ll never leave him god i hate myself why do i make everything SAD)

mini headcanon off of that - he doesn’t stargaze with people,,, like ever 

it’s something he loves to do alone so the fact that he lets you stargaze w him and even allows you to shift your head onto his lap while you watch the sky is a huge deal 

he loves it when you softly whisper abt how your day was or something you saw that made you laugh 

he just loves hearing your voice, it automatically calms the voices in his head 

you absolutely ADORE when he has flowers in his hair especially cecilias (cecillias? ceccillias? idfk) and you make a point whenever you go to mondstadt to pick a fresh batch of cecilias just for xiao while enlisting the help of your favorite bard  

these soft moments on the mountain are usually when you’ll sweetly tuck in a flower or two in his hair while laughing 

he’ll blush fiercely while looking away but will tuck the cecilias in securely as you’re unable to do so due to the position you’re in on his lap

all in all - this was not meant to come out as a date idea but we’re going w it 

this is so cute xiao pls let me put flowers in your hair sweet boy <3

childe

god, loml, my favorite war criminal after eren yeager 

there’s never a dull moment w this man - if you wanted peace and quiet, why the hell are you dating him bestie???

is the type of person to yell out “Y/N, i can’t believe i ran into you here!” if he sees you somewhere even tho you explicitly told him you were going to be here in the morning (ik you have a good memory ajax don’t lie to me 😐)

i don’t see him as being obnoxious w pda unlike someone else kaeya but he would definitely participate (think: handholding, cheek kisses, an arm around your shoulders)

loves it when he comes home and sees you in an apron cooking 

domesticity just makes his heart melt so you can be sure that your face will be peppered w a lot of kisses afterwards <3 

absolutely ADORES it when you trace his scars absentmindedly when you’re lying down or even when you’re having dinner in public  

he’s been far from his family for so long that small acts of mindless affection like this really make his heart happy 

you have him drunk on your love luv haha see what i did there 

he will let you put makeup on him. no i do not take criticism ⛄️

he already has on lowkey thick eyeliner,,, don’t be shy put some more bestie 

he will shamelessly go out in public w whatever you made him wear - doesn’t really give a shit even tho he has a reputation to maintain 

speaking of reputation,,, yk his mask? yeah that one - the red hair accessory that he has on his head

well on the mask, he attached a little charm the both of you got together on your first date during lantern rite 

it’s this adorable fox that we all shamelessly kill for meat and he placed it so it anchored to the side of his mask so when he fights it isn’t a nuisance or anything (does that make sense??? i hope it does) 

his subordinates notice and while they’re stoic around childe, behind closed doors they do whisper abt the mysterious person who’s captured his heart 

not so mysterious anymore when they literally see him cling onto you during his daily patrol around the harbor 💀

it’s ok tho he’s lucky he’s cute 

bestie,,, pls give him a neck massage 

i just KNOW he’s tense there idk something abt the way he carries himself just screams “my neck hurts so bad someone pls help me i would ask but my pride literally will not let me”

so give him a neck massage :) don’t worry tho he’ll definitely return the favor and then some

LOVES TICKLE FIGHTS 

he’s obsessed w them,,, it’s just the faces you make??? he can’t get enough 

he loves seeing the pure joy and the brief fear (he’s kind of a sadist) in your eyes before he attacks you w those damned hands 

it reminds him a lot of simpler times w his siblings and he’s happy he brings you joy and makes you forget your worries - at least for a little while 

all in all, he’s a good boy and no i will not tolerate childe slander 🔪 kaeya slander tho 😏

beidou

you pulled beidou??? wow everyone’s jealous (pulled as in literally from the banner and in this context but no i do not have beidou and no i definitely do not want to talk abt it)

god made beidou and zhongli just so all of us could have a sexuality crisis 

anyways, being w her is hard i will not lie 

not bc she isn’t a capable lover - no, quite the contrary 

she’s an amazing partner but the problem here lies in the fact that she’s almost never on land 

it’s hard working a long distance relationship but y’all love each other so it works out :,) 

when she is physically present however, expect to never be bored 

she’ll quietly fix the wrinkles on your shirt or fiddle with your fingers in her hands while she recounts her adventures out on sea 

she sometimes gets worried she bores you, however the way your eyes light up every time she tells a tale always reassures her otherwise

definitely the type to let you use her claymore if you want to learn 

she’ll provide useful tips as she tucks her hands into your sides gently, positioning you correctly so you don’t hurt yourself 

miss girl is an AMAZING cook 

i just know she cooks the best meals - i mean she’s friends w xiangling after all 

whenever she comes home from a voyage she’ll always insist on making something for you even if she’s abt to pass out 

pls tuck her into bed and promise her that she can make you something in the morning <3 the poor woman needs rest 

brings you back trinkets but they’re actually very practical 

she knows you won’t have much use for a simple charm (not that there’s anything wrong w that) but she believes you’ll like something practical more so she might get you a new engraved knife from the most recent place she’s been to 

definitely the type to surprise you when she docks 

i can imagine her anchoring her ship out a little ways from liyue harbor and rowing to the dock in order to make sure you aren’t alerted of her presence (i’m sorry the mental picture this made in my mind is SENDING ME INTO ORBIT but she means well i love you)

will take you to remote spots she’s found in her travels through liyue 

for example - the little heart shaped island and the island quest (?) that you had to use kaeya the bridge maker for in order to get to im sorry i’ll stop w the kaeya slander

she’ll get you seashell bracelets or necklaces idk why but she gives me those vIBES 

they’re super nice ones too, only the highest quality for you 

yes she’s a bruh girl but i also see her as someone who would enjoy intimate moments like watching the sunset or something 

“yo wanna catch the sunset, i heard it looks sick from the jade chamber” said before ahem it yk fell from the sky

kasdjksfashfjsahf yes ofc i would love to catch the sunset w you pls come home luv

anyways, she is a woman i would give the world for 

zhongli

ok gimme a sec i need to get my gentleman mode on 

this man,,, THIS MAN 

everything w him is so soft like your entire eXISTENCE w him could go in a museum it’s that beautiful 

in the morning when he visits you, he always brings you a cup of your favorite tea and a bouquet of glaze lilies he got from madame ping

holds the door for you, pushes the chair out for you, uses a napkin and brushes sauce off your lips when you’re eating - you name something sweet, he’s done it

secretly loves it when you fuss over him 

he doesn’t like to fight but say he encountered a group of hillichurls he couldn’t avoid and promptly defeated them but ended up tearing a part of his tux(?) (is it a tux? i could not tell you)

not that big of a deal, i mean it’s a scratch, he’s a 6,000 year old god, he’s dealt w much worse 

but seeing the worried crease in your brows as you usher him to sit at the table while quickly grabbing antiseptic to clean his wound

“it’s just a scratch, my dear. do not worry i’ve dealt with much worse.”

you quietly protest abt how “yes zhongli, i understand you’re an archon and have gotten worse injuries but i’m worried about infection just please let me take care of you ok? <3″ 

when you say that he feels weird emotions,,, wdym take care of him? 

he’s always taken care of himself or been expected to take care of others as the former ruling deity of liyue so having someone else genuinely worry abt his wellbeing creates a warm feeling in his chest 

he strikes me as the type to knit you something??? idk maybe it’s the grandpa vibes but i headcanon that he would knit you a scarf for the colder weather, it’s cute 

in the privacy of your home, he really likes picking you up

he loves it when you wrap your legs around his middle while he gets up to go do the dishes or smthg 

domesticity go brrrr

if you’re into making flower crowns, he would totally have you on his lap and wordlessly hand you a glaze lily whenever you expectantly hold your hand out while weaving the flowers together 

he expects you to make the crown for yourself but when you place the crown on his head and it fits perfectly while simultaneously tucking a glaze lily behind your ear, he looks at you dumbstruck 

his mouth parts open in awe and it’s quite literally the cutest thing

you’ve broken him 

thinks it’s the sweetest thing - will keep it on his head for the whole day 

he’ll even put it in water before he sleeps so it won’t wilt and he can wear it the next day <3 

scenic picnics!! scenic picnics!! 

the type to take you to the nicest spots in liyue to chat abt the history of the land w you over a cup of tea and your favorite food (whatever you like, he doesn’t mind)

recounts the people he’s met in his long life before finishing off by saying you’re by far the best person he’s met 

zhongli strangles lovingly come home soon 

thanks for reading! if you have any requests don’t hesitate to send them in <3