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#they ways in which the white characters and the characters closest to whiteness r usually given the most humanity in the novels
allthebestcowgirls · 11 months
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katniss being a mixed person with a white mom is so funny to me like it makes too much sense
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moonlightdancer26 · 1 year
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Hello There.
this is kinda weird and meta and i cannot tell if it’s written coherently so plz just hear me out
so yk how J*R admitted that, when she was writing OOTP at the same time as the first movie was being made, she made a lot of the changes/revelations we see for severus’ character bc she liked alan rickman’s portrayal so much? her only valid opinion
prior to that it is much easier to see the relationship between james/the marauders and severus as ‘slytherin vs gryffindor antagonistic’
(the prank (PoA) is imo played off more as ‘sirius was in the wrong by organising it, james did better by following severus and getting him out of there’ without input from OOTP)
anyway, this is all to say that pre-OOTP james and post-OOTP james feel like very different characters, bc one is very much good-guy-in-the-making and the other is the worst of the worst, and i think it can be brought back to J*R’s inability to write interesting slyth vs gryff rivalries without resorting to bullying and harassment from one party (the way she writes slytherins makes me want to smash my head against walls)
what do you think? bc this is coming from a kinda biased marauders stan, pro-james perspective, even though i dont hate young!sev in the slightest
i feel like a lot of my issues with this whole thing can be summed up by The TERF Bitch Can’t Write, And Now We Suffer Because Of It
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I’ve heard of that claim before, and iirc I’ve seen a source of her saying that a long time ago, but could you tell where cause I’d love to confirm this? 😭 She had already had Snape’s arc planned out because during the earlier films Alan wanted to quit his role because playing Evil Greasy Potions Master might get him type-casted (since he’s played villains before) and he didn’t want that, so Rowling decided to tell him about the grandiose reveal in DH, which is what made him stay.
what do you think? bc this is coming from a kinda biased marauders stan, pro-james perspective, even though i dont hate young!sev in the slightest
I actually think that was the point. In the earlier books we’re led to believe that Snape had no good reason for hating Harry’s dad and only resented James (and Harry) because he was a popular, loved Gryffindor and a talented Quidditch player. It was a bit of a red herring, and in PoA when Sirius and Remus are introduced we’re told about the prank and since Harry already hates Snape, obviously loves his father, and wants to know more info about his parents because he now knows two people who were the closest of friends with them, he assumes Sirius is right and evil Sneep Snoop is wrong and was just being petty as per usual. So for the first five books the readers are like “yo James is the perfect awesome guy and Snape is the jealous bad one,” which is increased when we remember James is a Gryffindor and Severus was a Slytherin, we sort of get the same image as Harry and Draco. It’s an extremely black-and-white image, the dawning realisation that it might not be just a simple rivalry/jealously-issue is what makes SWM in the 5th book so jaw-dropping to all of us, because we actually realise that it wasn’t the whole story. “Snape was right all along” is a super scary realisation for Harry, especially since it makes him completely rethink the image of his father that’s been painted for him by basically everyone around him, everyone except the one character Harry despises most of all.
This isn’t to say JKR doesn’t make shit decisions in writing, I 100000% get what you’re saying, but I think this was deliberately written that way so it can to be a big build-up to the plot twist. (Doesn’t make it very well-written, but it was still her intention ig.) and tbh the fact that we have so many unanswered questions/concerns about the plot holes/arcs/writing/etc and have to fill it in with the most plausible assumptions really goes to show how overrated JKR’s writing is and how her series has been enriched mostly by its fandom.
Also dw you’ve gotten your point across very well, I always get concerned with my writing because I’m worried it just sounds like a pile of unorganised bullshit 💀
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copyrightcreep · 11 months
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You know the drill, all of the questions >:)
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alright you evil critter. time to do the typing.
who is/are your comfort character(s)? Astarion and Karlach from bg3. space core from portal 2. Alex Danvers from supergirl. Luz and Vee from The Owl house.
lighter or matches? matches
do you leave the window open at night? sometimes. but usually, yes.
which cryptyd being do you believe in? werewolves and skinwalkers
what color are your eyes? mixture of green, blue/grey and brown
why did you do that?
hair-ties or scrunchies? hair ties
how many water bottles are in your room right now? 2. one i use for work and one for when i'm at home.
which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? hot coffee in the morning, ice coffee when relaxing
would you slaughter the rich? with much glee and different ways to do so yes.
favorite extracurricular activity? biking and people watching!
what kind of day is it? murder on the brain, pain in the limbs kinda day
when was the last time you ate? an actual meal? at 10 am. is 2 pm now.
do you love the smell of earth after it rains? yes.
are you a parent? (all answers qualify) of a bunny called Mochi. but not of human kids no.
can you drive? n o p e aha.
are you farsighted or nearsighted? near-sighted
what hair products do you use? shampoo, conditioner and a hair mask.
imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? if you asked. absolutely.
do you say soda or pop? f r i s d r a n k but soda in english
something you’ve kept since childhood? trauma. uh i mean. a stuffed animal i got since birth. his name is Mousey.
what type of person are you? i act very indifferent at 1st but i will flipping do anything if you get my trust. and i will share everything when safe.
how do you feel about chilly weather? love it. i can't feel cold all that well so i thrive in winter months.
if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? i'd bring snacks and a nice fluffy blanket maybe a picknick. talk and eat until night and then stargaze all night
perfume/body spray or lotion? body spray
a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? a lotta stuff. but i'll go with my mom's death since it's most recently been on my mind.
about how many hours of sleep did you get? uh. like 6?
do you wear a mask? during covid, yes. regularly? not unless it's required for work.
how do you like your shower water? a lil shy of burning my skin off
is there dishes in your room? yepp. kinda always are
what type of music keeps you grounded? 2 types. emotional stuff i relate to. and vibey music.
do you have a favorite towel? yes, it's a white one with rainbow squares. i love it!!
the last adventure you’ve been on? probs when i was a kid running trough the forest with my siblings.
is there a song you know every word to by heart? oh boy do i. nearly every song from icon for hire, smash into pieces and a bunch from Florence + the machine
what’s your timezone? CE(S)T. the S is for Summertime
how many times have you changed your url? nada on this blog haha
someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? no one i actively speak to. but @stephlastname comes the closest with like 7 years.
a soap bar that smells good? bars of soap elude me.
do you use lip balm? i should. but i don't
did you have any snacks today? had some chocolate snacks.
how do you take your coffee? 2 zoetjes or 1 packet of sugar and 2 milk.
an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? whatsapp and discord
what’s your take on spicy foods? occasionally very good. but my childhood makes it rough to enjoy them.
you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? Past: Hitler, Present: Putin, Personal: an old teacher who didn't 'believe' in adhd.
can you remember what happened yesterday? sorta, feels like walking trough mud to remember.
favorite holiday film? the 1st home alone
what was the last message you sent? dang right i want to!!
when did you first try an alcohol beverage? oh jeez. i tried wine when i was like 7 or 8. beer around the same time. somebody gave me a bunch of vodka when i was 17. i almost forgot the time where my mom let me drink a whole glass of bacardi cola when i was 9
can you skip rocks? NOPE. i flipping suck haha
can i tag you in random stuff? absolutely and please do!!
thanks for the askkkkkk
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twsted-tales · 2 years
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Welcome Home Dear Sammy
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"90 years huh? Well, ain't nothing like present, let's see what I missed!"
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Bio:
Sammy Dagon, The first, and most recent Housewarden of Ramshackle is an unusual boy in more ways than one. Not only is he a boy ripped out of time, but he is a boy of living blot. Once fallen to his phantom, but through trial and tribulation, the heir to bald mountain left a blotted abyss, and awakened to a world not like his own. But despite it all, Sammy has decides to take it in stride, with a smile on his face, and mischief in his eyes, Sammy will meet this new era with all he is, blot and all!
Student Info:
Name: Sammy(Samuel) Dagon
Alias: Prince of Demons(Malleus), ink-fish(Floyd), roi des ténèbres(Rook)
Birthday: November 13th(Scorpio)
Age: 108 (chronologically) 18(Appearance)
Hobbies: Dancing, and practicing music
Race: (Formely: Demon) Currently: Demon blot hybrid
Height: 5'5"(165cm)
Hair color: Inky black
Eye color: Inky black
Grade/Class: Freshman(First Year) Class-B
Dominant hand: Left
Homeland: Bald Mountain, home of demons
Club: Light Music Club
Best Subject: Summoning
Personal information:
Dislikes: "Debby downers"
Favorite Food: Tomatoes
Least favorite food: anything slimy
Talents: Painting
Appearance:
Sammy is a young looking boy with warm brown skin and flowing tendrils of blotted black hair that drape over his face. He is usually seen sporting a bright energetic smile on his face. But due to his blotted nature, his body and face is always in flux. Looking more like an animated character at times than a person. Limbs popping out in surprise, his eyes literally doubling in size, an inky question mark popping above his head when in thought, etc etc.
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But usually no matter which outfit he'll be in, the only constant for him are his two white gloves which he uses to cover the blot on his hands.
Though if you were look at Sammy without a shirt, you'd see the closest thing he can call a heart nowadays. Simply being the ink container his phantom had sits in his chest. Pumping his body with blot as he goes on with his life. But only serving as a reminder he isn't truly alive anymore.
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Personality:
Sammy is an energetic and easy going young man who often sees the bright side of things as he bounces and skips through life. Not seeming to let much of anything bring him down as he goes about his day. Loving to help people at any moment, and often a lover of small pranks and little teases, he is usually a joy to be around. A charming little devil pretty much.
But when necessary, if things do require a serious hand, Sammy is more than able to fulfil that role. To make sure no mistake like his own occurs again in this era, Sammy when necessary is calm and to the point. Hearing all sides and putting his foot down when necessary, his presence becomes as commanding as his ancestor. Instructing people like the chernabog did the demons of bald mountain.
But if there is one thing you don't want to see Sammy become, it's angry. A furious Sammy will make everyone feel as if they are starting face to face with the devil itself as he will do his best to make you feel like you are going through hell as his demonic side begins to ebb free. Frightening all to their very soul.
Background:
Sammy was one of the first alumni to enter NRC during its early days. He was a bright young man who later became the housewarden of Ramshackle. Being it's leader for three years as he approached his 4th year. But for reasons even he can't remember, one day something had happened. His emotions were out of his control, blot was forming in his gem more and more until finally, he became the first overblot in NRC's history. And with it, lead to the shut down of Ramshackle, and with it, the haunting if the old dorm by its former members. Although now he's returned to his right self, him and his dorm all sport the scars of his past .
Trivia:
He was a demon actually, a descendant of chernabog and his hidden mistress. Although, some do theorize perhaps the ruler of bald mountain, and the thorn witch had a closer relationship than originally thought
His body functions like a rubberhose cartoon
He and Lilia often talk about the good old days from time to time during club meetings
His favorite instruments are brass band instruments
He often paints the groovy art on the canvas in his room, loving to capture a memory by hand and usually has them hanging around the dorm
He often asks(pesters) Crowley to give ramshackle it's own mirror dimension, after all, a nice change of scenery could be good for him and the ghosts from old memories
When angry the "ears" on his head sharpen to horns as his mind gets into a darker headspace. Wanting to punish whoever was the cause of it.
He loves to dance and when he's really in a grooving mood, he'll drag any and everyone into a dance while talking like nothing unusual is happening
He is still a boomer to new tech, but never complains about it, instead he just learns about the modern day with a childlike wonder and curiosity
His memories are pretty spotty. He can remember most of his past life, but the closer his memories get to his overblot, everything starts to fade away
Adding onto this, he cant remember the original name of the dorm and who was the mascot of it. Though if there is a thing he can place a finger on, it relates to bald mountain in some way. Maybe his ancestor served as inspiration.
And lastly, he and ghosts often drag Grim into games with them as they reminisce about the old days. Happy they can at least still spend time together in the modern day. Glad that even 90+ years later they're still dorm mates
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all-things-fic · 4 years
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Country Lane | Divorce Harry III
Thank you all for waiting for this one. Massive middle finger to tumblr for screwing the post up! Divorce Harry III is finally here!
Shoutout to my lovely ladies who taking time to read this for me @harrytheehottie, @harryfeatgaga, @haute-romance-quotidienne and of course @waitingfortwilight. Also, thank you to all my lovely anons and those of you who come off anon to talk about this, I’ve really loved the general chit chat about the series <3
Without further ado, enjoy! Lots of love and happy Saturday! x
*~*
You had no idea where you were. 
Surrounded by nothing but overgrown grass and the odd wooden fence. If you listened carefully in the distance you could hear the traffic of what you thought could be the A34 road and you were pretty sure that the last sign you had seen before your car cut out had been for Congleton. 
Rubbing your hands down your fresh face, your spa retreat to Mottram Hall for the hen-do of one of the school Mum’s entering her second marriage, was nothing more than a distant memory. As you sat freezing, in your car, looking out onto the harsh autumn weather of October, you were far from relaxed and rejuvenated. 
Worrying your bottom lip with your top teeth, you juggled your phone from palm to palm. You knew you had to call him, you effectively didn’t have any choice. Especially after you’d pulled your way through your glove compartment and you hadn’t come up trumps with your breakdown cover documentation. 
Part of you was cursing in that moment at how you’d handed the piece of paper which held all telephone numbers and car insurance policy account numbers over to your son to scribble upon during one particularly long car session, just to keep him quiet. You were actually sure it was now stuck on your fridge with a lovely drawing of what you presumed to be Marvel characters all over it. 
The worst of it all was that you knew whatever had happened to your car was bad. You knew simply from the way the car had spluttered and started to grind before almost seizing up and stalling to a halt.
Unlocking your phone, you scrolled through your contacts and landed on his contact card. Clicking on it you saw when the last time you had called him was and recalled the soft FaceTime he’d had with your eldest son, who wanted to tell his Daddy about how he’d been picked for the schools first rugby team, taking him out of reserves and off the bench. 
Breathing deeply, you ignored the ache the fond memory began to cause and tapped Harry’s name. The dialling tone that greeted you filled the pit of your stomach with knots as you tried to relax in the leather seat of your Range Rover.
Again, you started to worry your lips at the fifth ring, before the line clicked and you heard his warm voice. You froze at how friendly he sounded, his voice held an edge of laughter to it and you heard shuffling faintly in the background, followed by chatter, before it was shut out.
On the other end of the line, Harry had found himself dodging his way around people in his Mother’s kitchen in Cheshire, before leaving the room and catching your call before it cut off.
“Sorry ‘bout tha’,” he spoke an unnecessary apology, probably because of how long it had taken him to answer, as you remained quiet on the other line.
You blinked harshly at the sound of your name being spoken. “Are you still there?” Harry asked, pulling the phone away from his ear to see that the call was indeed still running. 
“Ye- yeah,” you stuttered, partly due to a soft tremble to your lips from being cold. 
“Everythin’ alrigh’?” He asked, a concerned edge to his question, as you dropped deeper into your car seat. 
Another small amount of silence. 
“Not really,” you responded, honestly. “Where are you?”
With a small frown, he answered, “‘M at Mums. ‘S her birthday this weekend, remember?”
Shit. You’d forgotten.
Heavily breathing in response, you said, “It slipped my mind. Sorry.”
There was a chuckle at the end of the line.
 “Not like you tha’,” he playfully jostled, causing the pit of your stomach to fall through again. You hated how he always managed to make any conversation between the two of you not seem as if you were in the middle of a prolonged divorce. “Usually got everything colour coordinated on our kitchen calendar.”
And he still did that so smoothly too, spoke about things as if you still did them together. The use of ‘our’ and ‘we’ was second nature and so naturally fell off his tongue in a velvety way that was soothing but left you shivering if caught by your touch in a different way. 
As if he could read your mind, before you’d thought it, he said, “Don’t worry. I added everyone’s names to the presents so she thinks they’re from all o’ us.” 
“I shouldn’t have called, you’re busy,” you responded without feeling, starting to pull the phone away from your ear and back to thinking about how you could get in touch with your breakdown cover. There had to be a way, surely.
“Hey, no,” he was urgent. “Don’t hang up, ‘s fine. I’ve pulled myself away. ‘S okay- please. Don’t hang up on me, something’s not right ‘ere. ‘S okay to still need me sometimes, y’ know?” 
“It’s okay, I can sort it myself-“ you flung your car door open. “Can you just tell me know how to pop the bonnet up on this car, cause it’s been so bloody long since I last had to do it-“
“Pop the bonnet? Why’d you need to do that? Have you broken down somewhere?” His questions were clipped as he asked. 
“Don’t get arsey with me-“ 
“‘M not,” he replied, quickly cutting. He really was. “Are the kids wi’you?”
“‘S alright for me be stranded on the side of the road on my own when it’s about to get dark-“
“Did I say that?” Again, he words were clipped. “Are you trying to wind me up?”
“Why have you not told me how to raise the bonnet?”
He sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose before walking the short distance in his Mother's hallway to lower himself, slowly, down to sit on the stairs. 
“Underneath the passenger side there’s a lever,” he paused his softer tone, giving you time to find it. As he spoke you trampled against the grass closest to the passenger side and opened the door. Looking down at a red lever, which had clearly made itself known to you now that it had been brought to your attention.
“Found it?” he asked, hearing you hum. 
You shut the passenger door of your car and stared at the slightly popped up bonnet, Harry’s voice filling your ears again. “If you feel underneath the bonnet, between the E and the R there is another little lever. Squeeze that and it’ll release the bonnet-“
“Where’s the little thing to keep it up?”
He breathily chuckled, “‘s on hydraulics so keeps itself up.” 
Again, you didn’t respond and he was met with silence. Harry rested his chin against his palm waiting for you to speak, eyes looking towards the dimming light as night began to approach. 
“Wha’ can you see?”
“Not a whole lot, it looks fine to me.“
“Darling, just let me come to you.” 
“But this is why I pay for breakdown cover,” you snapped. 
“Where are you?” He asked, voice deep and to your annoyance laced with concern that he should no longer hold. 
You stammered trying to figure out some sort of excuse to bullshit him with, eyes taking in the country lane and the vast greeness around you. 
“Last time ‘m askin’,” he harshly cut in. “‘S gonna get dark soon, so jus’ tell me where y’are.”
“Somewhere near Congleton.”
“And wha’s the matter wi’the car?”
You noted his voice on his last question was a bit pinched, probably from focusing on another task like pulling on a pair of trainers to bring him to you. He clearly wasn’t playing along anymore. 
“Well, I think I’ve had an oil leak but none of the lights have come on to officially let me know whether I have or haven’t. The only thing is the nasty black marks that are on the driveway at home, but ‘s nothing that couldn't probably be jet washed off-“
As you rambled about cleaning the oil from the drive of the Hampstead home, Harry zoned out beginning to list the things he would probably require to bring with him. He was sure some of it could be found in Robin’s old garage, knowing that boxes of tools were still piled in the far corner. 
“Send me your exact location via text.”
“Harry-“ you sighed.
“‘M not askin’, ‘m telling,” he abruptly responded. 
***
People say that Googling symptoms is never a good thing, you suppose the same could be said for a car. 
Were they symptoms though? You couldn’t quite coherently think of another descriptor for them as they brought up search after search at how you quite possibly could have ruined your car.
You tried not to dwell as the sky around you began to get darker while you sat in the safe passing place on the country lane. It wasn’t like you had much choice but to stick around. 
Cold, and dithering slightly, you had taken to throwing your coat over your body like a blanket as simply wearing it wasn’t keeping your entire body warm enough. 
Car doors locked and eyes closed, you tried to find some solace in your waiting. You didn’t have much avail, as you were interrupted by the harsh white lighting of LED headlights breaking through the dimming dusk sky.
You frowned, eyes squinting as the light got closer and pulled in behind you. A sense of uncertainty filled your body at the new arrival, along the otherwise desolate road.
A figure of a male jumped out of the car behind you, causing you to still all of your movement in your car seat as you tried to make out any features to you that would make you comfortable in knowing it was Harry. 
The blinding lights made it far too difficult to see anything and you were beginning to think that the person behind you had left them on, on purpose. Unless they were those annoying ones that slowly turned themselves off. 
Staring out you vaguely were able to make out the figure approaching you and as he got halfway you relaxed.
It was Harry. 
He rapped his knuckles gently at your driver's side window and then smiled to himself as he realised how you wouldn’t be able to open it due to your inactive engine. 
“Open the door for me,” he spoke, his voice slightly muffled as it came through your car window. He watched as you reached for the door handle inside and pushed the door ajar ever so slightly. “Could you have picked anywhere more hidden away?”
You didn’t respond straight-away, deciding instead to take him in as he stood with his left arm leaning up against the doorframe of your car. His right arm taut as he held the car door open and away from you both, not wanting it to cause any obstruction. 
Underneath his khaki parka you could faintly make out a worn Versace tee as it hung open, unzipped. You internally rolled your eyes. What kind of person wore Versace to fix a car and possibly get covered in oil in the process? 
As you rested your head back against the seat behind you, you silently enjoyed the way he looked down at you. It was always quite frustrating, even more so now you weren’t together, how magnetising he was. 
“Do me a favour?” He broke the silent stare, “Lean over and pull the lever for me? Don’t quite fancy walking around the car and possibly going down a ditch.”
“My parking isn’t that bad!” You chastised, watching the way his lips twitched. “I’m being courteous of other cars on this tiny lane, given them extra room near the passing place-“
“You got miles of space this side of the dotted line,” he spoke cutting in, eyes wide and filled with humour. “Surprised you didn’t drive down the hill bank the other side to be extra courteous.”
“Can pull the lever yourself now, hope you break your ankle-“
“No you don’t-“
“I’d just leave you here, you know? Take the keys out of your pocket and go.“
“Don’t need to resort to petty crime,” his voice was a bit weaker now but still just as cheeky. “Could’ve just asked for ‘em.” 
Your eyes moved towards the glinting keys that he held loosely by the key ring after quickly retrieving them from his pocket. Tauntingly wanting you to reach out from them.
“You’re just going to pull them away, if I grab for ‘em.”
“‘M not,” he stressed with a slight laughter. “You’re always so cynical and defensive. Not even thanked me for driving out to come and get you.”
You didn’t respond, instead you gently reached for the keys, feeling him slightly shift them from your grip as he enjoyed the determination on your face. 
Fingers filled with want, you still grabbed for them, successfully but having to be halfway out of the seat and door of your car in order to fulfill your achievement.
When your feet met the ground beneath you, you quickly shifted around to pull your coat on properly. As you moved from the doorway, you watched as Harry dropped his chest onto the driver's seat and reached across the width of the car to pull the lever without needing to walk around the car to do so.
Putting a bit of distance between you, so you didn’t fall foul of staring too long at his bum in his blue jeans, you stalled yourself as he pushed his body up to standing and flipped through a book in his hands. 
“Harry?”
“Yeah?” He said, flicking through what you now knew to be the car’s manual that he must’ve also grabbed from the glove box while inside the car. When you didn’t reply he tore his eyes away from the pages and over to you. 
“You’re a good man.”
The honesty in your voice, knocked him. “‘M not, but ‘m trying t’be.”
The two of you stared at each other in the dimming darkness and you knew your gaze matched his sad one. 
Clearing his throat, he threw the manual against the driver’s seat. “Anyway out m’ sight, leave the men to the work an’ all tha’. ‘S got heated seats an’ all, if you’re into tha’ sorta thing.”
***
You felt bad watching him out in the cold and dark, a light hanging from the bonnet the only source around him that you imagined was keeping him going. 
Sitting in the passenger seat, you let your eyes roam around the black interior of his car that was incredibly spacious and so suitable for your barrage of children. 
Your attention turned to outside again as you saw Harry move around from your car and walk up towards his own. His forearm came up to wipe across his mouth, bringing your attention to his facial hair that seemed to be getting thicker and thicker. 
Without needing to be prompted, you pressed the button to lower the driver's side window and watched as he pressed his forearms into the resting place you had created for him now there was no window blocking his way.
“Can you get me one of them shammy cloths from out o’the boot please? Jus’ need to double check the dipstick.” 
You nodded as he continued, “Would do it m’self but-“ he paused, opening out his hands and showing how dirty his fingers were to you. 
“It’s fine,” you said, leaving the car and joining him. “I feel a bit useless anyway,” you admitted. 
Both of you remained silent when he joined you at the back of his car, two sets of eyes easily spotting what you were looking for. You opened the packet of two cloths, a horrible peach colour, and passed him one before swapping places with him.
You moved to stand at the side of the car, watching him drop his head inside the boot to see if there was anything else he needed while he was at the other car. 
“Since when did you become one of them?”
“One of who?” He asked, his head popping around the side of his car and out of the boot to look at you.
“Your lights on this car are far too bright.”
He rolled his eyes, remaining quiet as he turned back to the contents of his boot. He wasn’t going to respond to your unnecessary nitpicking.
“It’s really nice inside though. Single about me did well then,” you found yourself saying the comment in a biting fashion, unable to hold your tongue. 
“Which one?” He bit right back, a clanging heard from the boot, “I asked you if you wanted a credit, you said no.” 
You clammed up. He hadn’t taken what you said as a joke. A bit of light humour, you thought, for the road. It was your own fault. You’d become that sort of annoying person you often could get when you found yourself awkwardly doing nothing with yourself. Your delivery of your joke didn’t help either. 
“Think I preferred you when you stayed sat, quiet, in the car,” Harry said, head moving out from the boot again so you could read his expressions. Raised eyebrows and twitching lips. 
“Piss off,” you glared at him, slowly turning to walk away. 
Now it was Harry’s turn to think you were joking, as he shouted after you. “Really gonna be like that after I turned up to save you. That’s twice now I’ve had t’remind yer.” 
“You insisted-“
“I know I did,” he spoke around a chuckle. “Now where’re you off to?”
“‘M walking home-“
“Don’t be so fucking ridiculous,” he shouted after you, a frown jarring through his light features when he moved from the open boot to walk closer to you as you turned back around to face him. 
***
He managed to coax you to sit back in the car not much longer after you’d stormed off in a huff. Not without a fight, but this was one he was willing to back down on just to get you to stop storming off. 
Looking back on it now, the scene was probably quite funny to some passerby or outsider, or it would’ve been if you weren’t so secluded. A female dressed in the most fetching of clothes - sarcasm noted - arguing in the middle of a street. Like some five year old in need of a nap. 
Speaking of naps, your eyes shot open wide at the loud bang of your car bonnet being shut. You hadn’t realised that you’d begun to doze until you were abruptly woken. 
Bleary vision was quickly erased with a rub of your eyes, as you moved to face the front and pushed your hair from your face.
You were met with Harry busy fiddling with the wires of his lamp. His face dropped down and hair falling so easily into his eyes. He kept walking rather than look into the car to see if you were still with him. Instead, he dropped everything that was in his hands into the boot and proceeded to annoyingly continue to subconsciously show off by pressing a button to close his boot automatically. 
Staying wrapped up in one of your kids car blankets, you curled your legs underneath your body and rested your right cheek against the headrest. You continued to be silent as you started to wake up, eyes blinking slowly as you watched Harry in the dark pull open his car door.
He swung his body into the car with an almighty groan, one that caused you in your sleepy haze to softly smile. He looked shattered as he relaxed in his seat and rested his head backwards.
With eyes closed he sighed heavily, letting you take him in without a care. You’d noticed that at some point since your nap he’d removed his coat and now he sat in just his t-shirt and jeans. Both, of which, now looked like they had seen better days.
His brow had begun to perspire as he entered the warmth of his car, the quick switch from the Baltic (slight over exaggeration) temperatures outside to those more welcoming inside the G-Wagon could do that to you. 
“Don’t think it’s fucked completely,” he said to break the silence, wiping his face and sweat with the back of his hand and wrist, to try and ensure his oil covered fingers didn’t leave any other stains on his skin.
You enjoyed the way he used the back of his hand, wrist and forearm to wipe at his now slightly clammy skin. Stupidly it emphasised how defined his upper body had become. “Dipstick wasn’t as dry as I was expecting,” he continued, “Just topped her up and ‘m ‘oping she turns over and sounds as good as new.” 
Again, silence. His eyes staring straight ahead of him, yours enjoying his profile. God, he had a fantastic nose. It was definitely something that your daughter had inherited and you wondered if it would be a feature that a loved one in her life would sometimes admire in the next generation. 
“Got any baby wipes wi’ you?” He cut his eyes to yours from the corner of his vision, taking in the way you were curled up in the passenger seat wearing the car blanket of your eldest son. 
His eyes lingered on your shape for a while, dropping down and enjoying the way you had curled yourself up and presented to him in such a cosy vision. It meant you felt relaxed around him and that was all he ever wanted. 
It was a nice contrast to the emotive happenings between the two of you that had almost become commonplace of late. A foreign feeling that was so simple, but so exciting. 
Without verbal response you reached from your handbag that was in the footwell to have a look inside at the contents. 
“Don’t wanna leave this car, been a bit spoiled over the last hour or so. Could do with an upgrade myself as they’re all getting older and need a bit more room,” you spoke as you rummaged around, movements still slightly sluggish.
You were successful in finding what you needed, the rustling of the plastic packaging jarring to your ears. Quickly pulling at the cover overlay, you swiftly pulled out a couple of wipes with such a mom-like finesse that had you balancing them on top of the now closed packet as you turned to face Harry. 
“Don’t even think about making it a clause in the divorce,” he joked, eyes looking up at you from underneath his brow. His eyebrows snapped up in shock as you snatched at his hand and abruptly pulled at the baby wipes you’d retrieved from inside your handbag. 
The two of you fell silent as you wiped at his left hand first, watching the black of the oil slowly leave his fingers. Breathing was heavy in the empty space as you didn’t dare raise your gaze higher to look into his eyes, that you knew were watching you. 
“It’s so attractive, how much of a Mum you are,” he dared to say what he really thought as his humoured expression fell away. “Cleaning my hands up nicely, like ‘m your child that’s made a mess of m’dinner.” 
“Harry,” you sighed his name, fidgeting softly in your seat. He chuckled in such a husky way that you found yourself softening regardless of the way it riled you. 
Releasing his left hand, you reached straight for his right. Seeing the way he caught himself and stopped it before it fell against his lap. He smoothly reached for you, brushing your hair behind your shoulders as it began to curtain across the right side of your face.
“Last time m’hands were this dirty, you were licking and sucking ‘em clean.”
You felt your face begin to heat up from his brazenness.
“Are you blushing for me?” He whispered, his left hand moving along your jaw, to tilt your head upwards. He had a hold of your jaw, slightly rougher than before and while your face played ball, your eyes did not. “‘S been ages since you blushed fo’me.”
Again the sound of breathing filled the car, Harry’s gaze all over your features before his other words punctuated the air, “Look a’me.”
As your eyes moved sharply to the right, you looked at the way he’d lolled his head back. His thumb slowly pulled at your bottom lip, watching the way it softly bounced from his touch, before he lifted it to trace faintly over your Cupid’s bow.
“Missed your lips,” he admitted, enjoying the light puffs of breath that bounced against the pad of his thumb. Before you could think, you’d taken his thumb inside your mouth, an appreciative groan leaving his lips.
You felt the way his fingers cupped under your chin, gently stroking at your skin, silently caressing. Teeth nipping playfully against the skin of his thumb as you pulled away. 
“How much?” You asked, lips turning to ghost against the inside of his hand. 
His eyes lingered as you watched him nudge his chin up slightly, silently asking for you to come to him. 
You sucked in a heavy breath as you leaned into him, the dimming ceiling light of the car slowly allowing darkness to swallow you both. A faint smile nudged your lips as your nose fell against his top lip.
He scooped you under his arm - lining you up better - hands trying to hold you as near to him as he could as you leaned over the centre console of the car to be closer to him. 
“Enough,” he husked, before adding, “Your nose is cold,” in a passing tone, lips against your temple now. Breathing deeply through your nose you let him pull you even closer, unable to believe that you weren’t close enough. Muffled apologies left your lips, about how your nose was cold. 
The soft drag of his lips to yours pulled you under a haze that swept away your apologies and into a tender reacquaintance. His lips were slightly shaking against yours and you weren’t sure if it was to do with the cold that he had found himself in or if it were due to his nervousness. 
Regardless he was steady. Knew exactly what he was doing and what he wanted. Pulling kiss after kiss from you in the slowest fashion that you felt yourself beginning to warm up. 
“‘S nice to have a little kiss,” he gently spoke against the corner of your mouth. “Missed you treating me to ‘em.” 
“I think you just know exactly what to say,” you murmured as you allowed him to continue ghosting his lips over yours. “Know exactly what you're doing.”
“‘F you’re suggesting that I’m trying it on,” he murmured against your lips, “I absolutely fucking am.”
“Would never have guessed,” you looked at him with heavy eyelids, head now nudged back slightly to enable you to see his entire face. He smirked at you, eyes blinking slowly as he willed you to him once more.
His hand was secure around the back of your neck, fingers messily woven through your hair. His other hand gently massaged at the top of your back, over your fetching loungewear that you had chosen to drive home in.
“‘S it working?”
“What do you think?”
Harry’s eyes dropped in a slow blink as he felt the way your hand lowered down his chest and abdomen, which was wavering slightly from his nervous anticipation. 
Dropping your head down to his chest, you left a kiss to his pec as you mumbled and felt the button of his jeans giveway to your fingers and thumb. “I am grateful, you know?”
“Yeah?”
The ruffle of your hair against the cotton of his tee filled the car, him recognising it as you nodding. 
“Me too,” he assured. 
And he was. Grateful.
For the life he’d had with you up until this point.
The family the two of you had created. The one you were so fiercely fighting for. Messily and viciously, all from a good place. The best place. 
He licked at his dry lips, leaving his mouth to hang open slightly as he watched you descend down to his semi that was hidden in the confines of his jeans.
“Both of us need warming up,” he mused, his hands sliding from your hair and down your back, slowly and gently to your slightly raised bum from how you had placed yourself over the center console. “In’t that right?”
A dull slap of his hand against your leggings-clad bum had you rocking back as you felt his hands slide under the waistband to massage at your cheek.
Swallowing heavy, Harry tilted back his head and even through his hooded eyes he caught his blissed expression in the rear view mirror, as he felt you take his balls into your mouth and gently suckle.
He rasped your name as he basked in the dirty licks, heavily laden with saliva from your watering mouth before you took him into your throat. Obscene sounds from your actions wove between his heavy breathing and quick pants. 
“Fuck me, darling.” 
With his hand that was still against your bum, he pulled you closer. Hands desperate to have purchase of something as you gently but messily sucked and licked, desperate to feel the tickle of his pubic hair against the tip of your nose to know you’d successfully taken him all the way down.
His breathing was shaky, a quick hiss leaving his lips as he felt the way your nails dug into his denim clad thighs from his previous movements to try and hold steady. The position wasn’t ideal, but the feeling of your shaking breath against his wet cock as you nosed against his jeans had him smiling.
As you turned your head slightly to look at him from the corner of your vision, you noticed the way he was looking down at you. How powerful he seemed in that moment as you were slightly beneath him. 
The thought changed though with the way his hand came up to your face, his thumb against your wet lips for the shortest time before he cradled the back of your head to help pull you back up and avoid any mishaps. 
He tugged you forward to crush his mouth to yours with pleased hums as he tasted himself on you. Lips smacking as he pulled kiss after kiss from your mouth, smiling at the eagerness of you both.
His hands joined yours as they pulled at his jeans, his hips lifting in the seat and his arms strong as he pushed the denim and underwear down to sit closer to his knees. 
“Mm,” he hummed, as his bare bum cheeks met the heated seat beneath them. “Put the seats on fo’me.”
“Don’t say I don’t ever treat you nicely.”
He huskily chuckled as he brought your lips back to him again. “Nice an’ warm,” he lazily spoke, acknowledging the heated seats. “Jus’ for me.”
And he knew every bit of his words meant the double entendre that you had caught,looking on as you pulled away to sink back into your own seat 
Looking over at him, you noticed the lust behind his eyes as he slowly pumped his hand up and down his wet and aching cock when you sunk back into your own seat and watched his head loll against the headrest once more. His nostrils flared as he bit down on his bottom lip and nudged his chin up, getting you silently to come to him once more when he’d seen your movements in removing your own bottoms had ended.
“Wouldn’t do this for anyone else, y’know that?” You said around your messy kiss as you raised your legs and felt his hands guide you to straddle him. Hands splayed across your lower back and the top half of your bum as he secured you to him. 
“Should bloody ‘ope not.” 
As you sat above him, you could feel him there. Sprung back and wet. Your mouths rested against each other, heavy and open. Eyes moving to and fro over each other’s.
“Been at this too long to start sharing now.”
Your hips moved forward at his words, with the smallest of motions but it was enough to make his cock glide between your lips. His expression was one of immeasurable pleasure regardless of how little the touch.
Deep down you knew you didn’t have time for this sort of behaviour. The kind where you revelled in the nudge of him against your clit, and the way it caused you to gasp lightly while your brow creased and forehead fell against his. 
“Take it,” he encouraged as you rolled your hips on him. “Let me in.”
Heavy breathing and shaking hands, you held Harry’s eyes as you reached behind you to take him in your hand. 
Wrapping your fingers around his length, you raised yourself, feeling him shuffle down slightly  in his seat to help ensure you didn’t bump your head as you lifted. Fingers gave way when he lined up nicely, slipping only his tip inside of you.
This stretch was one like no other. A burn that you savoured as much as the expression that welcomed you from the desire felt by the only man who had ever made you feel this way. His one hand crawled up your back, to cup around your neck, anchoring you to him. 
When you were fully seated shaky exhales bounced against each other’s lips. Every tremble of you above him felt so vividly by Harry. The way your thighs shook from the small confines you found yourself in, to the quiver of your fingers against his neck and jaw. 
“You’re so big,” your moan was feeble. Embarrassing in many ways. Especially given the amount of times you’d done this with him. 
“Mm,” he agreed. “‘S cause ‘m so hot for you. Got me so hard. Always have.”
“Always will-“
“Always will,” he confirmed.
Your moan was thick as it left your throat, his words enough to get you to roll against him and have you clit drag pleasing against his pelvis.
He groaned, knowing that’s what you were doing too. Having been in this position so many times before. No one had ever had you this way, and you knew no one ever would either. A pleasure this giving was one of familiarity. Aided so deeply by feeling. 
When your mouth met his again the only word to describe your kiss was sinful. His tongue waiting to meet yours, flicking so easily and far too filthily for those on the cusp of middle age. 
But he still had it. 
The gleaming boyish gaze and curling smile. Could charm his way into any heart and into any pair of knickers. But the ones he had chosen time and time again were yours. Regardless of their sexiness at times.
“Yes,” you gasped, pulling away from his mouth and feeling his hands encourage the knocking of your hips against his. 
You were close, nowhere to go and not wanting to go anywhere. How you had made it here so quickly, you weren’t sure. Maybe it was the surroundings, how you potentially could get caught. Maybe it was because your partner - husband - just knew you so well. 
His eyes didn’t want to leave you as they admired the flushed skin you were beginning to show and the gleaming, plush lips that you were rolling into your mouth to hide your pleasure. 
“That’s it, fuck me,” his voice was hushed, quick in its delivery. “‘S wha’ it’s all about,” he hummed, as you rocked your hips over his. Knocking his head back against the headrest once more.
As he looked down his nose at you, he watched as your eyes fell to your navel, taking in each roll of your hips. Your expression dropped with realisation, slightly pained. “What’s wrong?”
Looking up at him, you wish you hadn’t. You wished you’d kept your eyes down to see the ripple of his abdomen each time your body flexed around him. That way it wasn’t doused in emotion, it was just raw pleasure that lived in your mind.
“We shouldn’t be doing this anymore. Needs to be the last time.”
A mix of a breathy laugh and scoff left his lips as he urged you to restart your hips that were starting to stall above him, “Bit late for tha’ now, don’t yer think?” 
Falling against him, you hid your face feeling his lips over the shell of your ear and against your hair. His hand gently stroked at your hair, lips moving to your temple and pressing affection kisses that did nothing but make you feel worse.
“Do you want t’stop? Mm?” He asked, feeling your hips so tight against his, but your core so open that he hoped you would say no. Widening his thighs he pressed his feet into the footwell, seeking momentum to meet your hips with his own.
“‘S okay to love me still,” he groused, feeling your chin tremble from his words. “‘S okay to let me love you still. This is okay, us just doing this is okay.” 
It wasn’t okay and he knew. He also knew everything he was saying - every single word - was just a way to satiate you. 
So, you let them. Swallowed the lump in your throat and inhaled deeply. 
His words were cut short as he groaned, “Sit up for me, fuck me properly.” 
Sitting yourself up, you felt the way Harry’s hands moved so that the backs of his fingers were smoothing against your lower stomach. Sweaty palm turned, he pressed it gently down your stomach and let his thumb finger your clit.
The softest frown hit your brow, as his thumb slowly rubbed in a downwards motion at your sensitivity. From his actions you felt a warmth pool around both him and you, Harry groaning appreciatively as he felt it too.
“Yeah,” he stressed the word as you gripped at his t-shirt which sat against his stomach. Cotton in handfuls as you scrunched the fabric. “‘S tha’ nice- good?”
You nodded.
“‘S it enough?”
You nodded with more fervour. Eyes holding his as you sucked your bottom lip into your mouth and scratched along his right forearm as he continued to gently swipe at your wet clit.
The abruptness of the rock to your hips showed itself as the warmth within your belly grew. Eyes now hooded, you were unable to stop them from closing as your mouth parted to desperately say, “Don’t stop.”
And you didn’t know who you were talking to; yourself or Harry.
Harry responded with a moan so deep that you clenched down around him, causing his free hand to reach up and squeeze harshly against your hips. 
“‘M going to come so hard for you ‘f you keep doing that,” he gritted, breathing shallow as he felt his chest constrict. “Like tha’, just like that.”
His words were low, and like just moments before you weren’t sure if they were for him or you, but they had you moaning his name. Head dropping against his, his hand gripping at the back of your neck. 
With one hard roll of your hips, you cried out, forehead against his chin and mouth fallen. His hand squashed between your bodies as you shook and convulsed. 
Pliant for him, you were too dazed to move as you felt his arm wrap securely around your back and hold you to him, tight.
A merciless and repeated smack of his hips upwards, which you were sure would have the car rocking, made you aware of him seeking his release. He moaned your name, as he pulled you down to him, his orgasm shooting into you.
His heavy breathing was hot against your sweltering skin when you finally came to, his grunts melding into your neck as your core continued to flutter in the aftermath of your own release. 
His hands somewhat selfishly and most definitely greedily moved you against him, both crooning at the sensitive rush that met you before he lifted you to aid himself with slipping out.
Cold air met his sensitivity, as he nuzzled against you. Hand crawling up your back, under your shirt and feeling your damp skin peel away from his own as he moved his hand up and down. 
“Want to try out the back wi’me after this,” he hummed, brushing your hair off your face with his other hand. His words were heavy as they pressed into the skin of your cheek while he still tried to catch his breath.
As much as you knew you should, you didn’t even try to stop yourself from nodding.
***
Looking forward to hearing all of your thoughts! x
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agustdakasuga · 4 years
Text
You Never Walk Alone | Chapter 11
Genre: Werewolf!AU, Poly!AU?, Mate!AU, romance, fluff
Pairing: OT7 x Reader
Characters: Student!reader, Omega!Seokjin, Alpha!Yoongi, Beta!Hoseok, Alpha!Namjoon, Omega!Jimin, Beta!Taehyung, Alpha!Jungkook
Summary: You live a quiet life in your late grandfather’s cabin in the woods. You go to school just to graduate and get your diploma, not to make friends or stand out from the crowd. That was until one day, you enter your home to see a pack of wolves that need shelter.
Each day that you spend with the boys, you learn a lot more about them and slowly find yourself falling for each of their charms, no matter how different they are from you. 
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“I’m bored.” Jungkook groaned, rolling over Jin’s back. 
“Yah! Get off me!” Jin exclaimed with a frown and lifted his back to push the youngest off him. You couldn’t help but laugh, even as humans, Jungkook would always find a way to disturb Jin.
“Jungkook, we’re all trying to study here. Exams are coming up soon.” Namjoon lectured. Jungkook pouted, scrunching his nose at the leader before he scooted up to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his cheek against your back. 
“Stop it. You’re not a pup anymore.” Taehyung pulled the end Jungkook’s hoodie in an attempt to separate him from you. 
“I-It’s okay.” Your cheeks heated up slightly at Jungkook’s close contact with yours. 
“See? My mate likes it when I do this.” Jungkook sang in a teasing way, making you choke. The others all sent him disapproving looks. This was how it was, the boys would come to your cabin study with you or you would go to their’s. 
“I can’t get this...” You frowned slightly. 
“Come here, let me see. I’ll check your workings.” Namjoon leaned in and you showed him your book. Your answers for the math questions just couldn’t match the answer sheet and it was really annoying you. You knew Namjoon was smart. He had a high IQ and always scored full marks for all his tests. Namjoon scanned through all your workings. 
“There’s an error in your method. Do it this way.” He wrote it out for you. 
“I see.” You put the numbers in and he watched over you, guiding you when you got stuck or confused. 
“You’re a genius!” Grabbing his face, you gave him a big kiss on the cheek. But of course, as usual, you realised what you did and pulled away in embarrassment. Namjoon just blinked in shock while the others stared.
“I’m a genius too. Do I get a kiss?” Jimin smiled up at you. 
“Uh... I need to go...” You lied and tried to stand up but forgot that Jungkook’s arms were around your waist. The boys knew for a fact that you were working lesser shifts at the cafe because of your exams.
“Come on, you can’t be showing favouritism this early in our relationship.” Hoseok teased and you blushed. 
“R-Relationship? You guys didn’t even ask me out properly!” You blurted in an attempt to defend yourself but you were soon caged between Taehyung and Jungkook. They were staring at you with such a different look and Taehyung held his cheek out to you. 
“You’re already our mate. It’s fated.” Yoongi snorted, crossing his arms. He was secretly hoping for a little peck from you later too. 
“Do I have too?” You squeaked. 
“Unless you’re saying you like Namjoon hyung more than all of us.” Jimin pouted and you sighed, giving Taehyung a kiss, followed by Jimin and Jungkook then Hoseok. 
“Come on, you two.” You held your arms out. Jin smiled and decided to give you a peck instead while Yoongi kissed your temple. But even after he pulled away, he kept his arm around you. The younger ones have been hogging you that he wanted to have you close to him now. They pouted when they saw that Yoongi wasn’t going to let you go any time soon. 
“Actually, (y/n). We have something to ask you.” Namjoon said and you nodded your head. 
“You’re curious about all our necklaces. They all represent us and each have their own colour. Only those in the royal bloodline have it.” Jin explained and everyone pulled their necklaces out. 
“They’re pretty.” You held Yoongi’s black charm in your hand. 
“Well, you have one too.” Yoongi whispered and you stopped. You looked up at him, searching his eyes for any sign of a joke. 
“You’re joking.” 
“No, you really have one. We have been keeping yours, waiting for the time that you came into our lives. When you found out about us and everything, we were going to give it to you. ” Namjoon took out a white, rectangular box. 
“Open it.” Hoseok encouraged. You received it with two hands, being extra careful not to drop it or anything. 
“It’s... beautiful. It’s really mine?” You stared at the iridescent white crystal charm hanging from the black loop and looked up at them. 
“Yes, it’s really yours. It’s a sign that you’re the mate of the royal princes.” Taehyung leaned back on his hands. Yoongi, being the closest, took the necklace out and you lifted your hair for him to put it around your neck, clasping it safely. You looked down at the charm. 
“Thank you.” You smiled up at them. 
With that, you all continued studying. Jungkook constantly got up to go and get more snacks and drinks, not wanting to study anymore. 
“I’m going to game.” Jungkook kissed your cheek casually and saluted before going upstairs to his room. You blushed while the others shook their heads. Jungkook could do whatever he wanted. He didn’t need to study or get good grades.
“Can I ask you guys something?” You spoke. They nodded their heads. 
“I was researching online, which I know you guys don’t really want me to since there are just a lot of false information there. But I read something about heats and/or ruts. What’s that? Do you guys have it?” You asked. They choked. 
“W-Well... We do. The alphas and betas go through ruts. The omegas go through heats.” Namjoon said. All the boys were slightly red.
“Ruts and heats lasts for a week and it’s basically our wolf side having the need to breed.” Jin explained. 
“Oh...” Now you were also red, realising what you asked them. 
“We were going to talk to you about that when you got more comfortable since we didn’t want to overload you with too much information. It wouldn’t really be safe for you to be around the house when any of us are going through ruts or heats now that we have you as our mate. But don’t be scared or anything, we all react to our heats differently.” Jimin continued. 
“I understand. So when are your ruts or heats?” 
“In two weeks. We’ll just have to refrain from getting too close to one another in that week of it. It gets a little more intense around the middle of the week with the full moon.” Yoongi informed. 
“So on that night, stay away from us.” Taehyung chuckled in a serious and joking way. You nodded your head again, making a mental note. 
“When is this going to be over?” Jimin whined. Truthfully, everyone was getting tired of spending their days studying. You just accepted them as mates, you should all be playing and having fun together as mates but the exams just had to suck all the fun out of it. 
“Let’s continue then break for dinner.” Hoseok suggested and everyone agreed to that. Jungkook came back down, rubbing his eyes. He laid dow on the couch to wait for dinner. 
“Shall we make ramen tonight?” Jungkook lifted his head. 
“I don’t mind. Yoongi and Jin are tired. They shouldn’t cook.” You smiled. The two older ones gave you grateful smiles. 
“She’s always so understanding.” Yoongi softened. 
“I’ll cook!” Jungkook stood up and shuffled into the kitchen to start cooking ramen. Jin decided to go get some pork belly out to pan fry as well to accompany the noodles. 
“Sure you don’t want boiled chicken instead of the pork belly, Chim?” You nudged him while chuckling. He shot you such a dirty look, letting out a playful growl. The whole thing with the bland, boiled chicken has become an inside joke between you and Jimin now. You and him constantly teased each other about it. 
“But that’s how I knew it was you in my dream. The first thing you told me was no more bland chicken.” You giggled. 
“That’s right.” He pulled you back so you leaned against his chest as he hugged you. They all had a higher body temperature than humans that you were not afraid of the cold anymore. 
“Dinner!” Jungkook and Jin called. Everyone went to the dining table to help. You set the table with Taehyung and Jimin while the others got drinks and the two who cooked brought the food out. There were 2 pots of ramen at each side of the table and 3 plates of meat. 
“Can I get you some?” Jin smiled and you nodded, handing your empty bowl to him. He scooped some ramen in for you. 
“Thank you.” You took the bowl back and dug in. When Jungkook tells you he is the ramen master, best believe him because it was good noodles. Jungkook placed a piece of meat into your bowl. 
“Eat up.” He smiled and you nodded, putting the piece of meat into your mouth. The boys looked at you fondly. They couldn’t believe you were at their table. 
“It feels so right to have her here.” Hoseok gushed. 
“She fits right in.” Taehyung smiled. 
“Hey, are you guys leaving me out on one of your mental conversations again?” You scrunched your nose at them. You learnt to look out for when they were having a mind link conversation without you. They would suddenly grow quiet and they would sort of look distant when they were mind linking. Namjoon chuckled and patted your head. 
“Don’t worry. No bad things are being said. Trust me.” He smiled, his dimple popping up. 
“Alright, I trust you.” You giggled. 
“I’m so full. The dinner was satisfying.” You said when you swallowed your remaining mouthful of noodles. Jungkook and Jin smiled at each other, happy to know you appreciated their efforts. 
“You didn’t eat much though.” Jimin frowned slightly. 
“I eat little compared to you guys because I’m not a wolf. You guys have such big appetites. I would know from experience.” You chuckled and everyone laughed along. 
“Let’s clean up and get back to studying.” Namjoon clapped his hands. Everyone helped with cleaning up. With the study period, you would stay at the boys’ house quite late but you have never stayed over before. You would know when you’re sleepy and leave to go home. 
“Let’s get it!” You sat in front of your chemistry book again. 
“Hey, (y/n)-”
“Shh.” Jin shushed Hoseok, pointing over to you. Your head was slowly bobbing up and down as your body swayed gently. Yoongi caught you before you could fall back and hurt yourself. 
“I’ll bring her to my room.” Yoongi carried you up before the others could protest and brought you to his room. 
“I just came to say goodnight to her.” Taehyung came in and leaned down to kiss your forehead. The others came in too, doing the same as Taehyung, while Yoongi went to wash up. 
“Goodnight, hyung.” Jimin smiled at the older. Yoongi gave an acknowledging nod as Jimin exited the room. Unlike the others who slept without clothes, Yoongi liked sleeping in soft pyjama sets. He pulled his hoodie over his head and grabbed a set from his drawer. Looking over at your sleeping form, he was glad you were already dressed in sweats and a tee. 
He climbed into bed and slid his arm under your neck so your head would rest comfortably on his shoulder and you would be tucked under his arm. A soft smile appeared on his face as he looked down at you. 
You were so beautiful to him.
“Goodnight, my love.” Yoongi leaned in to kiss your cheek as you snuggled closer to him. 
Letting out a yawn, you slowly opened your eyes to see a chest in front of you. The peek of pale skin gave away who it was. You looked up and indeed, you saw Yoongi’s sleeping face before yours. 
*He’s so cute.* He reminded you of a child, letting out little huffs and clearing his throat occasionally as he slept. You were lying on his arm, your body pressed to his, while his other was lazily draped over your waist. The intimacy made your cheeks heat up but at the same time, you never wanted to leave. 
“SLEEPYHEADS!” Jin burst into the room. Yoongi groaned, leaning down to bury his head in your neck. 
“Go away.” He said to the older. 
“I’m surprised they sent you in, Jin.” You chuckled, stroking the back of Yoongi’s head. Another thing you came to learn was no one dares to wake Yoongi up from his sleep. It’s as good as suicide. 
“Well, the younger ones decided to make me the sacrificial lamb this time.” Jin snorted, making you laugh. 
“Give us 5 minutes and we’ll get up. Thanks for coming to wake us up. Your bravery is appreciated.” You said and Jin chuckled before he came over to kiss your temple before leaving. When the door closed, you tried to pull away from the intimate distance but Yoongi’s arms wrapped around your waist tightly to hold you in place, making you squirm. 
“Yoongi! We need to get up.” You argued. 
“No. All we’re going to do is spend the day studying.” Yoongi yawned, already bored with the thought of studying the whole day. 
“Well, I want to go home. I need to shower and change.” You giggled, shoving his chest lightly. 
“Why can’t you shower here? You already slept here, in the same bed as one of us?” He raised an eyebrow and you choked. He was always so straightforward that it constantly caught you off guard. 
“Y-You! Me staying over last night wasn’t intentional. I fell asleep!” You stuttered nervously. Yoongi chuckled at how flustered he could make you. 
“Right...” He teased. Your cheeks just turned redder. 
“Let’s wash up. I put a spare toothbrush inside for you.” Yoongi pulled you up and you nodded, keeping your head down. The both of you brushed your teeth together and Yoongi changed out of his sleepwear. He handed you a black shirt you could wear.
“Are we just going to spend the day studying inside again?” Taehyung whined as he sat down at the breakfast table. 
“Let’s go out. Get some fresh air.” Namjoon said. 
“Where’s Kookie?” You asked when you noticed one empty chair. They all snorted. If Yoongi was scary to wake up, Jungkook was notorious for sleeping through anything. He was the hardest to wake up. 
“I tried to wake him up but failed.” Jimin shook his head with a sigh. Taehyung patted his shoulder. 
“I’ll go.” You stood up and went to Jungkook’s room. You knocked before entering. Instead of being on the bed, he was on the ground, a sign that maybe he tried to get up to go to the bathroom to wash up but fell asleep on the way there. You chuckled and sat down in front of him, rubbing his back to coax him to wake up. 
“Kookie. It’s time to wake up.” You cooed. He let out a whine. 
“Come on. The others are waiting to have breakfast. You won’t have food left if your hyungs finish everything.” You said and his eyes opened slightly. You both knew that the others would leave food for you but not him. 
“Good morning.” He said huskily and hugged you, pulling you down on top of his chest. You let out a squeak of surprise. 
“Morning.” You blushed. 
“If you give me a morning kiss, I’ll wake up.” Jungkook winked. 
“No!” You squealed, trying to get out of his grip. Jungkook laughed, amused by you. He relaxed his hold on you and you scrambled to your feet, opening the door to run out but crashed into a chest. You stumbled back but arms wrapped themselves around your waist to hold you. 
“Are you bullying our mate, Jeon Jungkook?” Namjoon asked. Jungkook sat up, scoffing and ruffling his hair. 
“Wash up, Kookie!” You managed to shout before Namjoon pulled you out of the room and back to the dining table. You sat down and Yoongi set an iced coffee in front of you. 
“Thank you.” You smiled and took a sip. Jungkook came down minutes after, his hair still messy as he buttoned his shirt. 
“Aigo.” You chuckled and ran your fingers through his hair to help manage it a little. Jungkook closed his eyes, leaning into your touch like he would when he is a wolf. Once you were done, you pulled away and Jungkook let out a whine of displeasure. You patted his head and began eating. You poured your stew into your rice and mixed it. 
“You always do that.” Hoseok pointed out. 
“It’s my lazy way of eating in the morning. Might as well mix it together since I’m eating it together.” You explained sheepishly. 
“She’s so cute.” They all thought.
After breakfast, the boys all shifted and you carried some snacks in a backpack. They threaded beside you carefully as you made your way out to your usual spot in the empty field. 
“Kookie.” You chuckled as he used his muzzle to nudge the back of your leg gently to get you to play with him. 
“I’ll sit here.” You laid a mat out, sitting down and putting the bag of snacks beside you. The wolves whined at your decision to not play with them. Yoongi laid on your lap and you stroked his head, watching your fingers run through his pure white fur. 
“Why don’t you want to run with them?” You asked. 
“Why should I go when I can stay and lie down with you?” He scoffed, leaning into your touch.
“How do you all keep your fur so soft?” You wondered out loud as you buried your face into his face, feeling the hairs tickle your skin softly. Yoongi snorted, your questions were so random that it amused him to no end. 
“I brought fruit.” You took the apple slices out, taking a bite then offering it to Yoongi, who gobbled it from your hand. When the boys were wolves, they always liked to steal your food, even if you gave them your own. They would demand that you share with them and they also know that you cannot resist their puppy wolf face. 
“Berries?” You asked and Yoongi shook his head.
“There’s watermelon too.” You took the container out and he nodded his head, moving closer to you. 
“Hold on.” You pushed his nose away slightly as you removed the container lid. Putting a piece in your palm, you held it out to him and he gently ate it, careful not to use his teeth to hurt you. 
“The juice is going to stain your mouth.” You took a tissue to wipe his mouth. Yoongi looked at you with adoration. You cared about his fur so much. 
“Yoon- Yoongi.” He stepped into the space between your crossed legs and tucked his head under your chin, letting out low growls of satisfaction. You just blinked in confusion, not sure what to do as he suddenly came so close to you. You laughed and opened your mouth to eat a piece of fruit. 
“You’re so close.” You stated. 
“That’s the point.” Yoongi rolled his eyes. 
“Boys, watermelon!” You called and the 6 came over. They stopped when they saw the position you and Yoongi were in. Yoongi looked away, resting his head on your shoulder. You held the fruit out to them and they ate it. 
“Why are you guys coming so near? Hold on! Wait!” Soon, 6 other wolf bodies were pressed against you from all sides. 
“You guys aren’t exactly pups! If you didn’t notice!” You put an arm around Namjoon to hold yourself up. Taehyung constantly sniffed you while Jimin playfully nipped your fingers. 
“Chim, stop that.” You giggled. 
“You guys have no idea what personal space is, don’t you?” You scoffed. 
“Nope!” They barked and you rolled your eyes. 
~~ 
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kagrenacs · 4 years
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Explaining the Iceberg #4
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I covered most things in this, but not everything. Every previous post I’ve made describing the tes iceberg I found on google image search can be found here x
Lorkhan’s purposeful failure: Lorkhan was the first spirit to go beyond the universe to see the tower, but didn’t achieve CHIM. He likely did this on purpose to show others how not to do it, and to demonstrate that it was difficult for et’ada to achieve this state because they simply don’t have the boundaries (such as death) that mortals do.
The World-Egg: The universe and the 12 previous Kalpas, everything within existence
The Khajiit Tower: this reddit thread https://www.reddit.com/r/teslore/comments/3oh7wf/the_khajiit_tower/ for everyone’s sake i’ll spare you the details of Jungian psychology, TL;DR the khajiit are a ‘tower’ made to hold up the universe and aspects of this
The Grabbers: Mentioned in the 36 lessons, a race of people in Lyg who are said to ‘have never built a city of their own’ there are theories that these are in fact Magne-Ge, due to their connection to Lyg by Mehrunes Dagon
AE: ‘is’ in ehlnofex, can be interpreted as a state of being
Shezzar became Akatosh: The only solid reference i could find was this thread, that immediately discusses how this is probably incorrect http://www.gamesas.com/could-lorkhan-have-jyggalag-t74581-25.html
The Monkey-Truth: Markuth’s teachings, also a website of tes fanfiction writers and roleplayers 
Red Moment: The potential Dragon Break at Red Mountain
The Provisional House: Mentioned in the 36 Lessons, called ‘a space that is not a space’ that Vivec observes the events of Nirn from. It may possibly protect Vivec from dangers associated with this.
Alandro Sul: The Shield-Companion to Nerevar. Sometimes called ‘the immortal-son of Azura’. After being blinded by Wulfharth, he went to live with the Ashlanders of Vvardenfell and is credited with spreading the idea that the Tribunal killed Nerevar
CHIM: To put simply, the process and state where a person realizes their place within the universe and is able to manipulate the laws of the universe as they see fit. Often associated with the concept of ‘Love’
Skaal Secrets: Discussed in the Dragonborn DLC, it’s unknown what their secrets are, but the Skaal report that they’ve kept them a secret from Hermaeus Mora for generations
The World’s Teeth: Mentioned in the 36 lessons of Vivec, sermon 17. Vivec takes Nerevar to the edge of the world, where they see ‘the bottom row of the world’s teeth’ as Vivec states. This may possibly reference a glitch in Redguard. (as a side note: The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild, a game that’s confirmed to have taken inspiration from the Elder Scrolls, has an area on the map, near the edge of the world with a row of spikes similar to what’s described here. This might be just coincidence, but I sure enjoy it)
Dagoth Ur’s Endgame: Speculation on what Dagoth Ur’s final plans actually are. He speaks of his desire to remove the Empire from Morrowind, and unite the Dunmer under the 6th House, but beyond that there’s little to go off of.  Ultimately this is just speculation and theories, mostly on what he plans to do with the Anumidium, and how that could possibly have adverse affects on reality.
Pelinal Cyborg from the Future: Another bit of obscure MK lore that’s not implemented in-game. This derives from the description of Pelinal having a ‘left hand made of a killing light’  ‘PELIN-EL [which is] "The Star-Made Knight" [and he] was arrayed in armor [from the future time].’ and his survival of being decapitated. While the text directly states he is from the future, there’s no ingame canon text stating he is a cyborg.
Reymon Ebonarm is Reman: The thought that Ebonarm, a God of War is the same person as Reman, emperor of Cyrodiil. There’s several theories dedicated to this, with different variants on the specifics.
The Enantiomorph: Directly tied to the concept of mantling and the Fourth Walking Way. Put simply, there are three participants in this. Two combatants who are very much alike and trying to become the ‘Ruling King’ and an observer who determines who wins, this observer usually becomes maimed as a result of this. 
The Third Moon: Two different things, a metaphorical or literal secret moon important to the Khajiit that only appears when Masser and Secunda are aligned, preceding the birth of a Mane. The second option is the Necromancer’s Moon, the godly form of Mannimarco.
The Walkabout: A concept in Yokudan religion. The process of spirits surviving one Kalpa to the next, facilitated by Tall Papa
White-Gold Doomsday device: I remember reading this theory a few years back, unfortunately I cannot find the exact page for the life of me. The Tl;DR on this is the White-Gold Tower is a weapon of mass destruction, either literally or in metaphysical terms (being connected to Akatosh and it’s status as a Tower). The closest thing I can find to it is this thread which describes the motives of Umbra in the novels, and how it could potentially take over Tamriel using the White-Gold Tower http://www.gamesas.com/doomsday-scenario-t69430.html
Jiub was the Nerevarine: Self explanatory, headcanon that Jiub was the Nerevarine, similar to a headcanon on tumblr that stated Teldryn Sero was the Nerevarine
House Dwemer: Mentioned as a House within The War of the First Council (which is written by an Imperial for Western Scholars) and The Lost Prophecy (written by a Dunmer) This could be interpreted in a couple different ways. A) The first book was certainly written for western readers, while there is no evidence for this being the case for the latter, it can’t be ruled out. ‘House’ is used as a simplification B) The Dwemer were considered a house, but perhaps not in the way we would initially think (being on the Great House Council)  They were grouped into a singular entity, rather than distinct clans within a cultural group (either during the First Council or posthumously) 
When Dead Gods Dream: https://www.imperial-library.info/content/when-dead-gods-dream referencing this thread. Discusses the mechanisms of Dagoth Ur’s godhood, the thread explains it better than I can here, TL;DR Dagoth Ur is not alive, but he is within the realms of gods and therefor is able to ‘project’ himself onto Tamriel and the minds of his followers.
Khajiit ended the Metheric Era: Nothing found for this
Parabolic Kalpa: A parabola is a symmetrical U-shaped curve. This theory essentially tries to explain why Skyrim is so low magic, compared to it’s history or even ESO. The thought is that as time goes on, the world becomes less connected to Divinity. Towers are destroyed and the gods are gone, but eventually things will begin to kick off again, and there will be a rise in magic, technology and the connection to these beings. Essentially tries to explain why C0da and Loveletter from the 5th era are more high magic compared to the actual games. 
Sithis: Secret Lesson from Vivec: Connects the both Sithis with the 36 lessons by terminology (The Sharmat, false dreamer ect.) and proposes Vivec may have written the book
Bendu Olo: Colovian King, may have been related to Olaj Olo, nordic demigod of mead. Also used as a placeholder name for the player character in Oblivion and the name of the dev’s test character in Skyrim
Trinimac still lives: An ESO lorebook states the Ashpit, realm of Malacath, extends into Aetherius. Some orcs also believe Malacath is nothing more than a demon presenting himself as the remnants of Trinimac. A r/teslore theory states that Malacath wears two faces. While I assume this is the Iceberg author’s sole reference, I propose this could (should) refer to another theory. (Another theory is similar to this on teslore, proposed around the same time, but this one connects the dots)  https://boethiah.tumblr.com/post/621058598373588993/tsun-is-the-shield-brother-of-shor-and-trinimac 
The Aedra are Dead: Seemingly a common topic on teslore. A basic concept in tes, the Aedra gave most of their powers to Mundus to stabilize it.  Their bodies remain as planets, and they can only have limited interactions with Nirn. 
Divayth Fyr was the Hero of Battlespire: An old theory that looks at artifacts in Divayth Fyr’s possession and ties them back to the tes spinoff Battlespire. There are holes in this theory (Divayth Fyr was a seasoned mage at the time the hero was an apprentice)
Three Talin’s: The default name given to the Eternal Champion is Talin, a character creation scenario proposes that their father was also named Talin, and finally Uriel Septim VII’s general was named Talin Warhaft.
Pelagius I was killed by the Underking: The Arcturian Heresy states that the Underking appeared as an advisor to Pelagius I, who was assassinated by the Dark Brotherhood. This theory is a possibility considering the amminosity between Tiber Septim and both components of the Underking. 
Tsaesci Goa’uld: Goa’uld are a species from Stargate that are parasites towards humans. This theory proposes that the Tsaesci are similar, explaining the inconsistencies of their appearance within the lore.
Lunar currency: The thought that the Aedra and Daedra use mortal souls like currency
Historic Star Inconsistencies: Possibly referring to the variations of the number of days within the year in Arena, not sure about this one
Mnemoli/Star Orphans:Mnemoli is either a specific Magne-Ge (spirits that fled the creation of Mundus after Magnus), or a group of them that only appears during a Dragon Break (often nicknamed the ‘Blue Star’) MK states that they’re the writers and distributors of the physical Elder Scrolls (however this contradicts ingame books, so take it with a grain of salt). Star Orphans may or may not refer to Magne-Ge as a whole. Vehk’s book of hours state's them as a ‘group or tribe’ regardless, Mnemoli falls under this secondary classification (along with Merid-Nuda and Xero-Lyg, I have my own thoughts on this which would be better explained in another post) 
Bosmer Hircine worship: Seemingly referring to a thread on 4pleb, I will not be summarizing this theory here because I’m smart and not going onto 4pleb of all places. But from canon content, Bosmer do not worship Hircine, and consider him a force that goes against Y’ffre and wants to return everything to it’s original state of chaos before the earthbones (Y’ffre being among them) stabilized things 
Septimus Signus Zero Sum: The theory that the aforementioned zero-summed at the end of Discerning the Transmundane in Skyrim. Essentially Septimus is in a fragile state, delving into the secrets of the universe and is being pushed by Hermaeus Mora, who may see him as a lab rat, into discovering things he isn’t meant to handle as a mortal, and consequently Zero-Sums. There’s holes in this, namely Zero-Summing supposedly removes all trace of existence. 
The Soft Doctrines of Magnus Invisible: A very obscure text by Douglas Goodall, discusses the binding of various gods
Abnegaurbic creed: An overly fancy word basically meaning religious beliefs, seen in Nu-Hattia Exerpt 
Dunmereth: A Nordic term for the area of Morrowind, during their occupation of it
Fifteen-and-One Golden Tones: A Dwemer term, possibly referring to the spheres of the Daedra, counting Sheo/Jyggalag as a singular entity. Also, the Dwemer swear by these 
Ideal Masters are God of Worms remnants: As Mannimarco is often said to be the first Lich, the existence of the ideal masters seems to contradict this (similar story with Azidal) this tries to rectify this by proposing that the Soul Carin is the Necromancer’s Moon, and the ideal masters are remnants of Mannimarco. This theory doesn’t hold up when examined, but is cool nonetheless. 
Sermon 37: Found in ESO, an extra sermon to the 36 lessons, ties in concepts present in c0da like amaranth. (interestingly on this list Sermon Zero is never mentioned, despite it being older and more interesting imo, but to discuss that would require lots of work)
Flying Whales: Mentioned in Aldudagga. A now extinct species. The bone bridge of Sovngarde could potentially be a reference to this.
Joy-Snow: It’s cocaine 
Mankar=Tharn: A theory that Mankar Cameron is Jagar Tharn, doesn’t hold much weight and relies mostly on the connection of Mehrunes Dagon
Sharmat: A term used to describe Dagoth Ur, an opposite to the Hortator, a force uniting people for evil. Implied to mean or be associated with ‘the False Dreamer’ a person whose view of the universe is similar to someone whose achieved CHIM, but sees themself as the center of it all, rather than a droplet in the ocean of the universe.
Pankratosword: A forbidden Yokudan sword technique that could ‘cut atoms’ similar to our modern day Nuclear Fission. A bit of etymology here, ‘Pankrato’ seems to refer to the word ‘Pankrator’ meaning all-powerful or almighty. 
Landfall: A concept from MK, a future event where Nirn is destroyed by the Numidium, and the people remaining relocate to the moons. 
Cylarne: The oldest ruin in the Shivering Isles, rumored to be the original capital. Home to the Cold Flame of Agnon
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castleshadows · 3 years
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For As Long As We Could
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Casteel has spent the last seven years inside, afraid of stepping out into the world once again. But, when Elashya dies, he finally decides to face his fears to support Kieran in his grief.
CW: Major Character Death
Written June 17, 2021
Casteel watched as the funeral procession made its way past his window, the sky outside trying its best to match the mood with gloomy white clouds that promised a drizzle later in the day. Similarly, the small crowd was cloaked in white, the color of mourning. Only the dead’s closest family and partners wore anything decorative, a small white lily pinned to the breast to represent the innocence restored to the soul of the departed.
He could pick out Kieran easily in the gathering, holding the back right corner of the casket. To anyone else he looked like he had his head tucked against the wind as everyone else did, but Casteel knew him better than that. No, his friend was crying, judging on the way his shoulders shook every couple seconds. It was a surprise to see him so vulnerable in front of that many people, but Cas didn’t judge him for it. In fact, it was a relief to see him finally show some semblance of emotion. The wolven had been so… stoic the past few days. Elashya had been the first bright light in his life in a long time, and that light had gone out so quickly, that it had left Kieran in a state of disrepair so great that he sought to hide it from everyone around him. Including his bonded.
The wind picked up a bit and somebody's hat went flying. Nobody so much as glanced in the object direction as they continued on with their dreary parade through the streets. Casteel could see the graveyard in the distance, and the hole in which Elashya would forever reside. He knew Kieran saw it too by the way the wolven started shaking. Someone beside him, whom Casteel had never seen before, put their hand on Kieran’s shoulder, rubbing it and comforting him until he seemed to calm a bit.
A rogue bit of jealousy flashed through him, and Casteel worked to control it. He and Kieran loved each other very much. Before his… capture, outsiders looking at their relationship would’ve thought they hated each other. They had been constantly at each out, swinging fists at faces for the most minor things. They still loved each other though. Nothing would change that. However, fifty years of two different kinds of torture had changed them both, and he felt like he hardly knew his dearest friend, his partner in crime, anymore. He wanted to get to know him again, badly. But, every time he tried to step even a toe outside of his current comfort zone, something in his mind convinced him that he would end up back in that cage again, being raped and brutalized, his body nor his blood his own.
Casteel shook his head, yanking himself away from that train of thought before he could board it. It had been nearly three months since he’d had a panic attack, and he didn’t wish to restart that timer.
Cas’s eyes left the window and trailed around the small room. When he’d returned, seven years ago almost to the day, he didn’t want to stay in his old rooms. They reminded him too much of her. Every time he set foot in the bedroom he could clearly see her lying on the bed, waiting for him to return. Every time he peeked his head into the bathroom he saw her in the shower, beckoning him to join as she washed her long golden locks. Every time he smelled her leftover scent in the sheets that had not been washed in fifty-seven years, he wanted to vomit. So, he’d requested a different room, one that didn’t feel so big and empty, and one that she had never set foot in.
His gaze snagged on the small wardrobe in the corner, and he pushed his chair back from the desk walking silently over the wood floors. He stopped in front of the cabinet and slowly opened the fancily embellished doors. They creaked slightly, the sound deafening in the quiet room. Inside were all the clothes he’d worn for the past seven years. Ten tunics, ten pairs of breeches, ten pairs of socks, four belts, three coats, two cloaks and a set of boots that were worn and practically falling apart. All of which were some variation of white, brown, or black. Not the most fitting outfits for a Prince, but something about the routine of it comforted him.
He selected a white tunic, the lightest color breeches he had—a sort of light beige—and a black belt. It wasn’t even close to being appropriate for a funeral, but he didn’t have anything formal and white, so these would have to do. Potentially he could borrow some clothes from Kieran’s closet, or some old ones from Jasper, but he was already going outside for the first time in quite a while, and he didn’t know if he could handle more than one new thing at a time.
Casteel shucked off his soft, stretchy trousers and pulled on the light beige ones. He pulled the tunic over his head and buttoned it up, tucking the fabric into his pants. Glancing out the window, he noticed that the parade was near the cemetery. He would have to hurry if he were to make it on time.
Without thinking much about it, Casteel threw open the door to his chambers and stepped out into the cool hallway. He took a minute to let the reality of what he was about to do sink in. Anxiety bubbled up, but he quickly shoved it down, refusing to let his fear get in the way of what Kieran needed. He was going to be there for his brother if it was the last thing he did. A small voice in the back of his tried to convince him it would be, and he paused, letting the voice take over for a minute. And then he was flying down the hallway, not an all out run, but pretty damn close. Slow and steady wasn’t going to cut it here. It was going to be either all at once or not at all.
The walls were a blur as he sprinted through the large estate. There were usually very few visitors at this time of year, and Kirha and Jasper rarely employed servants, so the halls were quiet and empty.
Casteel slowed down near the stairs, trying desperately not to trip. Nothing took the dignity out of one's re-enter into the world like falling face-first down the stairs.
“Casteel?”
He paused, foot poised above the ground, hand white-knuckling the railing. Turning his head, he met the teary gaze of Kirha Contou. Unlike Casteel, she had known Elashya quite well, and being Kirha, had practically claimed the wolven as one of her own. It was no surprise that she was nearly as upset as Kieran was.
“I didn’t expect you to be out at this time,” she said, her voice soft as if she was afraid she might scare him away. Casteel was afraid he might be scared away too. “Do you need something?”
The silence was the loudest he’d ever heard. He wanted to answer her, but something in him froze. The large parlor suddenly seemed extremely daunting, not to mention outside, where the sky was open and there were no walls to keep him safe. He would have nothing except for the clothes on his back and his own frail body, that still hadn’t built up even a third of the muscle he used to have. Casteel stepped back, away from the door, away from the outside world.
Who was he kidding? He couldn’t do this.
“Cas?” Kirha said again. Her expression was one of love, and she held her hand out in front of her, coming towards him. “I was heading to Elashya’s funeral. Would you like to come?” She cocked her head waiting for an answer.
Steeling himself, he tentatively placed his hand in hers. Casteel would force himself to go if he must. Kieran needed him, and he would be there for his brother. It also helped that Kirha would walk there with him. A comforting presence if he should need it, and he had a feeling he would.
The first steps outside were stressful to say the least, but he kept his eyes fixed firmly ahead, and refused to let himself look at the empty, open sky, or even glance at the few civilians that gawked at him along the street. Eventually he felt their eyes find other places to land on, and he felt a bit lighter, each step less of a challenge than the one before.
Kirha stood by his side the entire time, leading him through what they both knew as the least crowded areas of the city.
Too soon for comfort, the graveyard was in view, and Casteel could see the large amount of people gathered in the middle. It seemed that the eulogy’s had already started and as they grew nearer, he could hear the end of an older man’s speech being delivered. He looked like he could be her father, and it was confirmed when he referenced the dead as his daughter.
Kirha led him through the makeshift pews towards Jasper and their youngest daughter, Vonetta, who waved shyly at him. Kieran sat in the second row just ahead of them, and he seemed to sense Casteel’s prescenese, tensing and turning around to meet his gaze.
His eyes were teary, and there were water tracks all down his cheeks, but he did his best to smile when he saw Casteel, mouthing a quiet “thank you”. Cas nodded to the wolven and then looked towards the podium, where a Priestess stepped up and called the next speaker forward.
“Kieran Contou, partner of the deceased.”
All eyes turned to his brother, and Kieran stood, shakily making his way to the front and thanking the Priestess for the introduction. He stepped up onto the podium and then seemed to freeze, droplets of water starting to build up in his eyes.
Kieran gripped the speech in his hands, looking over the crowd as if they were his death sentence. Tears spilled down his face and Casteel could feel Kirha tense beside him. She very obviously wanted to go to her son, but didn’t know how he would react. He couldn’t blame her. Kieran’s feelings were confusing on a good day, and today was very much not a good day.
Without thinking about what he was going to do, Casteel stood up. Immediately all eyes were on him, but he forced himself to ignore them all except the ones that belonged to his best friend. He made his way out of the aisle, trying not to step on anyone’s feet while still meeting Kieran’s gaze.
He didn’t really remember the walk to the front, only the way his bonded’s eyes, usually full of amusement or boredom or absolute apathy, were completely raw. A window directly into his soul. His friend was vulnerable and practically ripped open for the world to see. And, Casteel couldn’t just stand by and do nothing.
“Do you want me to?” he asked softly, holding out one hand for the piece of paper that contained the handwritten speech.
Kieran looked down at the page and then back at Casteel and repeated the action. Eventually he nodded, shaking as he handed it to his friend. The wolven moved to leave, but Cas wrapped his arm around his shoulders pulling him close and waiting until he relaxed in his grip to speak.
Clearing his throat, Casteel began.
“I did not know Elashya well,” he started in his own words, his voice ringing out stronger and clearer than he’d anticipated, “She and I did not see each other very often and when we did I am ashamed to say that I did not make much of an effort to become acquainted with her… But I can see very clearly from the crowd gathered here today that she was much loved, and I have been told of her kindness and her warm, magnetic personality by my best friend and brother, Kieran Contou.”
The wolven beside him let out a choked sob, and several people in the crowd started to cry along with him. Casteel hugged him tighter.
“I know that he loved her very much, and it is with this love in mind that I read his speech for you today,” he unfolded the piece of paper and started to read about the woman he’d never known, but now wish he had met, “Elashya Fraiser was a bright light in my life—in all our lives—and one that was snuffed out much too quickly… She had such a long life to live, so many things she wanted to do that she was not able to. But I know that if she were here now she would scold me for being so depressing.”
The crowd did not laugh, but several gave small smiles, each remembering something about the deceased. Caseteel paused for a moment, letting the words sink in, and then continued.
“So I will try during this speech not to mourn the life she did not live, but celebrate the one she had,” Casteel watched as many nodded in agreement, “I remember when I first met her. It was at a time when my life was filled with shadows, but they scattered at the first bright smile I saw on her face. That was one of the many things I loved about her. She was always smiling, always looking for a silver lining on every cloud. Her smiles were beautiful, and they made me feel warm inside every time I caught a glimpse.”
He remembered when Shea’s smiles had done that for him. When every glance she made his way made his very soul soar.
“I know what you’re thinking. Every man in love has something cheesy to say about their love’s smile, but Elashya’s was like hot cocoa and a warm blanket on a cold night. Everything about her felt like coming home.”
He had not known Elashya, but his friend's beautiful words made it feel like he had. She sounded like a lovely person, and he really did regret not getting to know her.
“She lit up every room without fail, and made it seem effortless. Even in the last days of her life she stayed positive. Even as her loved ones crowded, teary-eyed, around her bed, saying their final goodbyes, she was able to send them away smiling. Still sad, but at least reassured that she would be okay in the next life. And she will be,” Casteel paused to read the next line, and almost laughed out loud. Even in tough times Kieran found a way to be sarcastic, “If anyone can find something good in being dead it’s Elashya.”
This time there were a couple teary chuckles. Even without looking up, Casteel could sense that many people were in a deep state of nostalgia. He could tell Kieran was too. The wolven had stopped sobbing and though there were still tears running down his cheeks, they were ones not of sorrow, but of a bittersweet kind of feeling. Casteel turned his attention back to the page.
“I’m sorry that my speech is so short, for I fear that if I write any more I will not be able to stop. There is so much about her that I want to share, so much I want to say about the one I loved. The one I still love with all my heart. But, there is a time limit on these, so I will say just one more thing.”
Casteel had told himself at the beginning that he would get through this speech without shedding tears, but reading what Kieran had written about the woman he’d loved was making it pretty damn difficult. He had a way with words that Casteel would never be able to even attempt. And the speech was a painful reminder that he hardly knew anything anymore about his best friend. Kieran had been in love for the first time for the gods sake and he hadn’t been there for him.
Something nudged his side and Casteel opened eyes he hadn’t realized were closed. He blinked away the slight wetness that had been gathering and looked to Kieran, who poked him again.
“Sorry,” he whispered only loud enough for his friend to hear. Kiearn nodded and gestured back to the speech.
“Can I finish?” he rasped.
Casteel handed the page to him, directing him towards where he left off and a second later Kieran was speaking slowly, but surely.
“Elashya and I knew from the moment we fell in love that the end could come any day,” his voice wavered a bit, but he waved Casteel away when he tried to take over, “We knew that it was possible she would die, and I must admit there were times I felt myself falling into hopelessness. There were times where I was tempted to save myself from despair, for I am selfish, and I won’t pretend otherwise.”
Casteel wasn’t sure where this notion came from that he was selfish, for the wolven was one of the most loyal and loving people he knew. But, he didn’t interrupt, only made a mental note to later remind Kieran of the love he held inside him.
“But every moment I was with her has made it worth it. All the pain I have felt the last few weeks has been worth it, and I would endure a million more years of it if it meant I could see her just one last time.”
Casteel felt the same way about Shea. He was deeply ashamed of it, but he could not pretend he didn’t feel the way he felt. He would do anything to have just one more moment with her before. Before she decided she didn’t love him enough to stay with him until the end. But, maybe there was no before. Maybe she’d never felt that way for him. Maybe she’d been stringing him along the entire time. A tear fell out of the corner of his eye, and made a track down his cheek.
“I do not regret a thing and I know she didn’t either. I know that she is watching me now, and I hope that she is proud of me for trying to be at least somewhat optimistic. I admit I’m rather bad at it,” he paused, smiling a bit at his own writing, “But I know that if I were somehow taken back in time with all the knowledge of the heartbreak I was to endure, I wouldn’t change a thing.”
Kieran then looked up, meeting the eyes of everyone in the crowd and setting down the card. The tears in his eyes were coming back in full force and he took a deep breath, looking behind him at that coffin poised beside the empty grave. He looked… he looked lost, but like there was hope that he could be found again. Then, with visible effort he turned away, and held his head high delivering the last line of his speech.
“Because the heart doesn’t care how long you may have someone… It just cares that you have the person for as long as you can.”
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aros001 · 3 years
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Read through light novel vol. 8. Random thoughts.
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It's funny that what's made me the angriest thus far in this series is Priestess getting her clothes stolen. Closest was Wizard Boy's arrogant ignorance. With the goblins I feel horror and disgust and yeah there's anger there too, but for whatever reason I had just such a strong reaction of "That bitch!" when the girl stole the mail from Priestess and made her cry.
The news that the first princess had been kidnapped by goblins was enough to make the king stand up from his throne.
Okay, I was mad but not that mad!
“About, that...” Witch, who had produced her pipe from nowhere, gave Priestess a heavy-lidded look. Erk... Priestess felt her heart skip a beat; she put a hand to her chest. Would she be able to have this effect on people someday? It was going to be a long time coming...
That does make me wonder, has there ever been a design for Priestess as an adult, be it official or fan-art? She is only 16, so even if she doesn't get much bustier she should still reasonably grow a bit. It's interesting to imagine her and Goblin Slayer anywhere near a similar height.
Also, this is me probably looking too deep into things, but between Witch, Sword Maiden and even a lot of her interactions with Noble Fencer, does anyone else ever get the feeling Priestess might be bisexual? I hesitate to say that because usually I dislike how often I see people insist that a deep friendship/connection/admiration immediately equals love, but how the narration sometimes describes how Priestess is thinking about some other women makes it sound a lot more like attraction than just envy over body proportions. I say bi and not just gay because she does seem to have at least some romantic feelings for Goblin Slayer, even if it is just a desire for his attention and approval.
That aside, I do really like that she wants to be more like Witch, or at least how she perceives Witch. Cool, powerful, knowledgeable, elegant, stacked. I've always had a soft spot for characters who have another person they admire as their goal to be like and are so humble that they don't quite see the positive effect they already have on those around them. The person who admires someone for their positive qualities not yet seeing that they too are admired for similar qualities.
The skin her vestments revealed was perfectly white, almost translucent, as if untouched by the sun. It meant that the tinge of rose in her cheeks was probably not just from the light. She almost seemed like a harlot—and there were temples that kept sacred prostitutes.
What the f**k is a sacred prostitute?
Given that we know High Elf Archer sleeps in the nude, that's twice in this book Goblin Slayer just barges into a woman's room while she's not dressed, first with Cow Girl and then with her to wake her up.
“I know it’s hard,” Goblin Slayer said with utmost seriousness. “When I was a child, I would lay in bed trying to find out how long I had to keep my eyes closed before it would be morning.”
Again, one of the big draws of this series for me and why I think it works is that it takes trauma seriously. The raping goblins aren't just a gimmick to make the series seem edgy. It addresses that these creature would really mess a person up and that the lingering trauma is treated with understanding, never like it's cowardice or foolishness. How this series handles Sword Maiden especially is something I really respect. She comes in to save the day at the end but it's clear it's taking everything she has just to be there. How she froze up when she was called on in the court to deal with the goblins and the relief like a bright light when Goblin Slayer came in to take the job. The position she's in of being powerful enough to face the Demon King but unable to fight "mere" goblins and no one aside from those who've personally experienced the sheer horror of the goblins able to understand, adding to her feelings of isolation and helplessness. It's really good stuff.
I remember when I first started with Goblin Slayer and I saw some people complaining that the series was kind of dull because he never fights anything other than goblins. One, that's just flat-out not true, as he's fought many non-goblin creatures. He just has no interest in fighting anything that's not a goblin. But even when it's just the goblins, I think this series does a good job at making the goblins always feel like a threat and shaking things up often enough. Giving them new tactics, new leaders, new bases of operation, even new breeds like the Goblin Paladin. Every time they're doing something even slightly different from the norm for them it always sparks some dread about what's coming. The moment this volume mentioned a band of goblins with identical tattoos marking them it was just an instant "Oh, that can't be good" from me, which leads into the Goblin Priest, a big cause for alarm given how useful Priestess has proven herself to be, which led into the weird demon arm thing. It's like complaining that a character never fights anything other than humans or dragons or vampires. The power level doesn't matter if it's the same kind of human/dragon/vampire every time. Be it the things that use goblins as their minions/followers or the goblins themselves, I personally think there's enough variety involved to keep things interesting.
A nice moment with Priestess visiting Wizard's grave (so this is the leaked image that got the false rumor started) and, something I'm really hoping for, the possible return of Fighter, even if it's just Priestess eventually finding the courage to see her again at least once. Again, the reason the goblins work is because what they do isn't just a gimmick. Several volumes after her first party's wipe, Priestess is still thinking about them, lamenting their loss, thinking about what could have been, and how difficult it'll be for them to see each other again after what happened. They weren't just Priestess' origin story, they were real (albeit fictional) people, taken before their time and violated in the worst way possible and they shouldn't be just a footnote. Be it for Priestess and Wizard's brother, they should and do still matter.
She strengthened her barriers as an attack came from a strange angle; Sage was thinking fast. It seemed likely that this thing, this shade—if it could be called that—learned by absorbing other living things. They were simply lucky that the creature it was trying to parasitize at the moment was so incredibly stupid. But... Sage gave voice to the obvious question. “How did the corpse of a goblin drop onto a mountaintop...?”
Holy shit, that's hilarious. And the best part is, there was build up to it. Back in vol. 6 when Goblin Slayer used a scroll to flood a nest he did believe there were some goblins he wasn't able to get. Throughout the series it's been noted he doesn't like using the same tricks too many times in a row in case the goblins learn from him, thus the importance of making sure every goblin he encounters he kills. If some escaped, yeah, it makes total sense he'd change to a different type of location for the Gate scroll, just in case he ever meets up with goblins whom are expecting a flood to pop out.
Second only to this with how good the set-up was has to be Priestess turning the blood from the Goblin Priest's ritual into water, ruining its sacrifice to the dark gods. She discovered she could do that last volume but it seemed like she never would again because she's forbidden from using her miracles to deliberately harm another living being (even a goblin). This was a very clever way of bringing it back, having her learn from her experiences while still being devote to the Earth Mother.
Priestess noticed that her hand was still clinging to his and blushed. She made to disentangle her fingers—hesitated—brushed his hand softly and, finally, pulled hers away. She was humiliated, pathetic, pitiful...and yet. I want to be... ...a source of strength to him. That day, she stored up the smallest of prayers in her heart. One day, she swore, she would be.
All shipping and such aside, this is something I really hope to see someday. That point in the series where Priestess is no longer Goblin Slayer's sidekick but rather his partner. Someone he can have truly walk and fight beside him as an equal, easing the burden on his shoulders, until the day all goblins are gone.
What kind of world is it where I'm thinking "Thank goodness, the princess was only severely beaten and nearly sacrificed to a dark god"?
Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/GoblinSlayer/comments/g4llnd/read_through_light_novel_vol_8_random_thoughts/
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mimik-u · 4 years
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“Homeworld Bound” Thoughts:
I wasn’t going to watch this one today, but then I realized that I really missed the Diamonds and wanted to consume novel content, so!
OOH, good on the show for taking us directly to the aftermath of “Fragments” instead of putting space between the episodes. That’s just... a really good choice narrative wise.
Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl’s expressions are so distressing here. He’s been gone for three days; they must’ve been so worried.
Jasper steps aside to reveal an absolutely ruined Steven.
He just technically killed a gem and then resurrected her. How intensely will that forever lie on his psyche? Oh my g od
NO, NOT JASPER PASSIVELY MAKING THE DIAMOND SIGN IN THE BACKGROUND AUGH
“You can’t just disappear for days without telling us!”
Steven silent walking up to the Observatory as the Gems continue to freak the fuck out is harrowing. And Dee Dee Magno Hall is killing it with her voice acting here. The simultaneous fear and anger and horror in her voice. Oh my g d
“You guys... I love you, but you can’t help me anymore. I’ve been avoiding the only people in the entire universe who can.” 🥺 This is sad, but I’m also, like, problematic grandmas time!!!!!
“Find something better to do with your life.” God, Jasper’s look of disbelief and sadness here. I didn’t really delve into this during my “Fragments” watch because I was just roridoodwrjfkrkeke reeling, but her reaction to being accidentally shattered is psychologically devastating???? I’d wager that she simultaneously respects the fact that she’s been subjugated by a being more powerful than her, that she’s grateful to Steven for being both subjugator and savior, and likely, she’s conflating this new loyalty with her former loyalty for Pink. This is a really complex psyche (a tragic one most of all).
Garnet: “Steven, remember, we’ll always be your family.” I’m so fucki n emo
AWHWHWH, HOMEWORLD IS SO BRIGHT AND COLORFUL NOW!!!
YO!! Homeworld has a democracy now!! The Zircons!!!!!!!
THE WALL GEM IS MOVING??????? KWOEOEIDJDKSJS
Can u imagine being a wall cursed with sentience. that is so funny on so many levels
But it’s also really interesting, too. If the Wall Gem is a gem in the way say Topazes are gems, which, judging by her mobility, she is—then her explicit purpose in Era 1-2, as molded by presumably Yellow, was to b a wall omg. (Or, arguably, I think it can be argued that the inanimate object Gems, like Comby, were probably accidental sentient creations, made in relationship to their proximity to the Diamonds during their various secretion rituals!!)
Anyway, I love thinking about Homeworld worldbuilding. It’s fascinating.
SQUARE PERIDOT
SPIIIIIINELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Her heart eyes!! She looks so happy!
Steven, angry af: “Spinel, what is wrong with you?” / Spinel: Oh, you know—the usual.” KEKDSKDK
Also, Steven really wanted to say fuck there. NEKDDKKSSKKS
“I was such a wreck then, but I am so much better now.” We stan character growth 😭😭
One thing I have loved the Crewniverse so much for doing is never taking away the physical signs of gems’ mental distress, even after they’ve gotten better: Blue’s eye bags, Volleyball’s eye, Spinel’s running mascara. That is so important.
YELLOW SITTING AT HER LIL VANITY!!
IT’S LIGHT INSIDE HER ROOM! THERE R FLOWERS! THRIVE, QUEEN, THRIVE.
YELLOW REVERSING HER GEM EXPERIMENTS OH MY G D
FUCKING QUEEN!!!!!!
(I’m sorry in advance. The rest of the live blog is just going to be screaming about the Diamonds.)
“I can permanently alter any physical form!” She’s so proud of herself. 😭😭😭 I fuckin’ love her.
Yellow laying down on the ground like that is SENDING ME SKSKSJSJ.
Ugh, and her being such a good mom to Spinel. I’m cry in f
“If anything’s out of proportion, it’s your temper. You can be big if you want to, or you can be small if you want to, but if you’re going to be upset no matter what, then this problem isn’t physical—it’s emotional. Go see Blue.”
I really like her advice here because it’s advice that comments so clearly on her own character arc. At her lowest, she was quick to anger, aggressive, and temperamental, which she diagnoses in Steven here. Additionally, she was the Diamond who was concerned largely with physical actions. She coped by maintaining the Empire through conquering planets and maintaining the minutiae of leadership; she thought the only way to receive justice for Pink was through the physical act of destruction. And in doing so, she pushed her own emotions deep, deep down until they manifested in anger, aggressiveness, and temperamental outbursts. This hurt the people she cared about, and it hurt herself most of all.
Also, “Go see Blue. That is her department.” Ejdoiddjdjjsjdjdks, “go see ur other grandma.”
BLUE FLOATING ON A CLOUD!!!!!
“Your powers have been causing you dramatic mood swings? That seems awfully troubling Steven.” God I love her
“You don’t seem troubled.” This is a really interesting line because it comments on how Blue’s emotions, especially her negatively charged ones, used to be so visible all over her; indeed, she both wittingly and actively used to project them on other Gems, forcing them to feel her suffering, too.
OH, SHE GOES ON TO SAY THE EXACT SAME THING EOEODODISSJJS. LISTEN, I REALLY VIBE WITH BLUE.
“Back before you came into my life, Steven, I wanted every one to feel the pain I felt. I realized I must make up for my awful behavior by bringing joy to others.”
Another thing I’ve appreciated about the writing in this episode: So far, both Blue and Yellow have used the adjective awful to describe their former actions. It’s the self-awareness and the refusal to try to excuse themselves that powerfully shows how much they’ve grown. And it’s their continuous endeavors to keep moving forward, to help the Gems that they’ve hurt, that indicates that they’re willing to constantly keep growing and atoning.
NFOFOFDKSSKSKSK, THESE CLOUDS ARE JUST HER VAPORIZED TEARS HELP.
Sick vape clouds, Blue
I’VE HEARD THE SONG BEFORE, BUT EVERY TIME SHE SINGS, I LOSE MY SHI T
LISA HANNNNIGAAAAAAAN
This is such a pretty line: “Cold palace walls, and endless empty halls, haunted by echoes of laughter.”
BLUE ASCENDING THROUGH THE CLOUDS AUSHAHHSHD
BLUE MAKING HEART CLOUDS FOR SPINEL!!
BLUE CALLING SPINEL N STEVEN HER LITTLE REASONS WHY.
“I’LL NEVER MAKE YOU CRY.” This line is particularly lovely because I think it plays well with Steven’s line to her in “CYM:” “How many times did you make her cry?”
BDJDJDJSJDJ, BLUE LAYING ON HER CLOUD LIKE YELLOW LAID ON THE FLOOR.
The way she sings the last “loving you.” 😭😭😭😭 I’m gonna weep. I love her so fucking much.
“I found happiness. If that's not something you think you deserve, then I suspect this is an issue of self worth. I suggest you go to White for assistance with such matters.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 And like Yellow did, Blue gets to the heart of her arc cleanly.
Before Steven and before her own emotional reckoning, she didn’t think it was her place to be happy: “I know my purpose isn’t to be happy.” But in learning to love others, Blue has found true, inner happiness, which she literally shares with others. Wow.
And I think there’s something powerful in her distinction between true happiness and self-worth. You can’t find one without espousing the other.
White’s room is so pretty. 🥺
THE FLASHING STROBE LIGJTS DDNJDFJDJDNF.
SPINEL WHITE DIAMOND?!/!:$;8;83&:&:
SHE FUCKING LETS OTHER GEMS CONTROL HE R HELP.
SPINEL MAKING WHITE TAP DANCE FICODODOFODJDNDJSJDJDJJDDJDJ
Steven’s horrified expression omg
“I’m scared I’m gonna hurt people; I guess I already have.” God.
And that’s another thing that this episode has called to mind. Blue, Yellow, and White alike once used their insane powers to hurt other Gems and to hurt themselves, and here, throughout this series, we see Steven discovering that same capacity for destruction and self-destruction. Along with the systematic oppressions they facilitated, a big part of the Diamonds’ modus operandi was that their powers were directly correlated to their mental states and their various inabilities to confront their own selves and effect inner change. The corrective wasn’t necessarily Steven; the corrective was him helping them to do that initial act of introspection and looking inwards. And so, too, will Steven have to do the same by the end of this series. But I presume that his family, all the people and gems who have loved and cared for him, will in effect be his Steven, just as he has always been for them.
“Half a Diamond, half a creature of Earth—in all the universe there's no one else that could know what you’re going through, so maybe it's time you talked to yourself.” This is so viscerally sad. White hits the nail on the head here. Steven’s human friends/family and his gem family and even the Diamonds, who come the closest to matching his own strength, can never fully understand him. It’s the tension that underscores a lot, if not the entire show.
White briefly touches Steven with her nail, and you can viscerally see the trauma on his face; he hasn’t forgotten her act above all, wrenching his gem out, nearly killing him.
“I’m... I’m a Diamond.” Steven, in looking at White Diamond, realizes that she’s a mirror of himself. Holy fucking shit
“I don’t want to be you! I don’t want to be anything like you!” HOLY FUCKING SHIT
“Don’t hurt me! She can’t hurt me! I’m controlling her...” And here, Steven doesn’t light upon the essential thing... in making White punch the wall, nearly knocking a huge rock into him, he’s the one hurting himself.
This show, oh my g o d
“She’s the one who should be afraid.” STEVEN?!!!!????!??!
“No, stop it! I don’t like this!” / “Please, you’re scaring me.” OH MY GO D
HE FUCKING MADE HER SLAM HER GEM AGAINST A PILLAR HOLY HE LL
“What... what was that?” Christine’s delivery here. Holy shit. 😭😭 And both of them are surrounded in the carnage of Steven’s wrath. Holy fucking shit.
This act is fundamentally different than him accidentally shattering Jasper in “Fragments”; this was an intentional attempt to hurt White, to crack her, to break her. Holy fucking shit
Spinel, Blue, and Yellow waiting for Steven outside of White’s door has my heart a little and a lot tender 🥺🥺🥺🥺
SPINEL SINGING I CAN MAKE A CHANGE SO DRAMATICALLY DJDIDJDJDJDJD. (But yeah, lmao, this will absolutely be the conclusion of Steven’s arc at the end of Future.)
“Steven! Let us help you, Steven!” The Diamonds are so concerned (mirroring the Gems back at home, too). 😭😭
He leaves a flip flop behind like Cinderella lmao
“Steven, let us help you!” / “We’re your family!” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
And just as he implored the CGs, he tells the Diamonds not to follow him either.
Steven is completely and utterly alone.
Not by necessity.
But God, by choice.
Okay, this is my new favorite Future episode.
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hinaypod · 4 years
Text
Meet the Cast of Hi Nay!
Hi Nay revolves around the adventures of Filipino immigrant Mari Datuin but she isn’t the only star of the show. The upcoming podcast also features a rainbow (and I don’t say ‘rainbow’ carelessly ;>) of loveable characters who help Mari along the way. Here’s everything you need to know about the main cast of Hi Nay!
Leon
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Leon plays the gruff [redacted] Donner, a Jamaican-Canadian cop who seems to know more about the supernatural than he lets on. Leon is building a career in animation and voice acting, and the podcast is his first professional project. Growing up in Southern Ontario, Leon has always been interested in exploring different cultures and works of those cultures, which has led to his involvement with Hi Nay. 
[Image description: A black and white photograph of a Black Canadian man from the chest up. Behind him is a white wall with what looks like a glittery or shiny curtain held up by tape. He has black, close-cropped hair and a big smile and is looking almost shyly at the camera. His left hand is on the back of his head while his right hand is off-camera. He is wearing a black high-collar sweater and a chain necklace.]
Abigayle Rhodes
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Abigayle plays the sweet and energetic Laura Nichols, Mari’s neighbor turned best friend. Abigayle is a Hamilton-based artist, designer and creative. You can usually find them spending their days yelling at their sewing machine and watching reruns of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with their beloved cat Ninja, or going on adventures with their partner Shayne. The best way to get into Abigayle’s good graces is with a nice bottle of Canadian Rye and anything buffalo checked. You can find them on the inter webs at abigaylerhodes.com (please don’t give me hate for using a .com and not a .ca! - Abigail) or on Instagram as @abigayle_rhodes .
[Image description: A color portrait headshot of a White Canadian AFAB person with a close-lipped smile and bright eyes. They are wearing a trendy pair of glasses with thick black frames around the lens and gold coloring on the bridge and ear stems. They are sporting a septum nose ring, winged eyeliner, and a diagonal eyebrow slit on their left eyebrow. Their pastel green hair is swept to their right to show off their undercut hairstyle where their naturally dark hair color has grown out a bit. They are wearing a black top.]
Edward Boxler
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Edward plays Richard Murphy, Donner’s charismatic partner whose loyalty knows no bounds. Edward is a filmmaker, writer, and content creator. Born and raised in Toronto, he loves coffee (any time of day), reading, writing, travelling, cars, the gym, and most of all, movie marathons. Two of his biggest “one day” goals are to drive across Canada while visiting every province, as well as to carve a pumpkin for Halloween. You can see what Edward is up to by following his Instagram at @edwardboxler.
[Image description: A black-and-white photograph of a man from the mid-torso up. He is standing against a wall with damask seamless floral wallpaper pattern. He is wearing a suit with a pocket square and a boutonnière. He is looking off-camera to his right. His right hand is resting along lower part of his suit jacket’s lapel. His left arm is off-camera.]
Adil R.
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Adil plays Ashvin Beeharee, a conman who gets swept up in the supernatural and becomes one of Mari’s closest allies   —  albeit unwittingly. Adil moved to Toronto 10 years ago, from the island of Mauritius. A classically trained actor, he has multiple stage credits to his resume. He is also a writer and filmmaker, and is currently developing a documentary called As One People, about the multiculturalism of Mauritian people. You can see what he’s up to at his Instagram at @adil_filmmaker.
[Image Description: A color portrait headshot of an Indian-Mauritian man from the chest up. His body is angled away from the camera but he is looking at the camera with a confident smirk. He has close-cropped black hair and some light facial hair. He is wearing a maroon t-shirt.]
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I don’t know about you but I’m pretty hyped to hear these dorks in action! Now you might be wondering where the protagonist is. Don’t worry you’ll meet her soon! Watch out for a Meet the Creators post some time in the future 👀 In the meantime, follow us here on Tumblr, and at our Twitter, Instagram and Facebook at @hinaypod​ for more news and updates! -Reg
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let’s talk about lesbophobia in fandom
i don’t like to use the word “lesbophobia” unironically because of all the gross radfem terfy connotations, so i will clarify right off the bat that i am neither a terf nor an aphobe and that if you are i want you off my blog like, right now. unfortunately, the meaning of lesbophobia has been so warped by alt right lesbians that seeing it in an unironic context makes me, a lesbian, uncomfortable, which speaks volumes in itself. so to clarify, lesbophobia is essentially homophobia with a pinch of sexism thrown into the mix, and it’s running rampant in supposed safe spaces and, more relevantly, fandom. 
/i’d also like to clarify that i’m not only speaking on lesbophobia, but also the general disgust and disdain for all wlw in fandom, and am using it as a sort of umbrella term/
lesbophobia and disdain for wlw has been around forever, but whilst gay positivity, mlm and mlm ships have been steadily increasing in popularity within fandom over time, wlw and wlw ships have remained perpetual underdogs. why? because lesbophobia has become a fandom within itself. both in and outside of fandom, we see instances of casual lesbophobia every single day—from aggression towards wlw to something as simple and prevalent as the complete and utter lack of sapphic ships and characters in media. hatred of lesbians and wlw is practically a trend, and it’s seeping in through the cracks of fandoms who are already facing issues with minorities and marginalized groups (i.e. racism, ableism). if you honestly think that lesbophobia isn’t prevalent as hell in fandom right now, you’re either not a wlw, you’re not all that involved in fandom, or you’re dumb as shit. 
just look at ships. in almost every single fandom, the ratio of mlm ships to sapphic ships is ridiculously unbalanced. people are quick to ship male characters who so much as smile at each other (and i don’t condemn that) but would never do the same for two women—even on the rare occasion that the ship is actually canon. i once wrote a wlw fanfic for a [predominantly straight] fandom, and received messages like this gem:
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on the flip side of that, if there is a sapphic ship in canon or fanon, it is often fetishized and sexualised to a disturbing degree. there will be double the amount of nsfw art and fics, and ninety percent of it will be derogatory and fetishized as hell. having been actively involved in several fandoms over the past few years (and currently a content creator in one), i’ve seen instances of all this hundreds of times. people go crazy for mlm ships, but the second you say you ship/prefer a wlw ship, there’s always someone at the ready with, “i think all ships are great!” or “it’s not a contest” or “i prefer [insert m/m or m/f ship] actually” or “they’re my brotp!/why can’t you just let them be friends?”. not only do lesbians and wlw not get to have any rep in media, any rep that they try to create for themselves in fandom just gets attacked or ruined. this is so detrimental not only to all wlw, but especially to younger wlw who will end up being indoctrinated into this belief that their sexuality is something dirty, something that can never be tender and sweet but rather something that deserves to be preyed upon. 
building on that, let’s talk about engagement. i run an instagram account (where i have a significantly bigger following) as well as this blog for my fandom, where i post the content i create (mainly text posts). when i first started creating content, i made a lot for a relatively unpopular wlw ship, in which both girls are canonically romantically involved with a dude—though one of them is canonically pan. their canonical m/f ships are both very popular, and i noticed that my engagement was dropping every time i posted them, so i eventually just stopped. it wasn’t even a conscious decision; i merely resigned myself to the fact that the fandom didn’t want to see sapphic ships, and some people would even go as far as to condemn them. for reference, my instagram posts get an average of about 500 likes per post (popular ones usually exceeding 1k), but when i post this ship, my engagement drops to about 250 likes. similarly, my tumblr text posts have an average of about 140 notes per post (popular ones usually reaching up to 750), but my wlw content rarely surpasses 100. this just feeds the cycle of wlw never getting rep: if, like me, content creators become disincentivised by the lack of engagement with their sapphic content, they’re more likely to stop making/posting it, leading to further lack of rep—and when new content creators try to rectify that, they face the same problems. 
and then, of course, there’s the treatment of actual wlw in fandom. my best example of this is when my friend and i made an anti account on instagram (the first instagram anti account in that fandom), our bio saying something like “salty and bitter lesbians being salty and bitter”, and received an onslaught of lesbophobic insults and threats from angry stans within hours. (tw: r*pe) one commenter even went as far as to tell us that they wanted us to get r*ped. as well as this, i’ve seen so many instances of people using slurs against lesbians in arguments/in anons, often for no apparent reason other than they feel that they have the right. when i first mentioned i was a lesbian on instagram, my account only had about 200 followers, and within a day i lost 20. i also lose followers whenever i post f/f ships, not quite to that extent but enough for it to be noticeable, on top of the aforementioned engagement dips. in the face of all this adversity, i think a lot of wlw turn to mlm ships because they’re the closest thing we have to actual rep, but when we do we get accused of fetishizing them by the same people who fetishize us. there’s an endless list of double standards that non-wlw have been upholding for years, and i can firmly say that i’m really fucking sick of it. because of our sexuality, we will never be allowed to enjoy something without someone labelling it or us as dirty or otherwise problematic, when to them, the only problematic thing about us is that we aren’t pleasing men. 
as i mentioned before, the lack of rep for wlw in media is appallingly consistent, and part of that stems from tokenism. in a lot of modern mainstream media, you’ll have one, maybe two lgbt characters, and nine times out of ten those characters are white cis male gays. of course, there are exceptions to this, but generally, that’s it. script writers and authors (especially cishets) seem to have this mentality of, “oh, well, we gave them one, that’s sure to be enough!”, which means that on the off chance you do get your gay rep, the likelihood of also receiving wlw or any other kind of rep becomes practically non-existant. this belief that all marginalized groups are the same and that one represents all is what leads to misrepresentation on top of lack of rep, which is what makes tokenism so dangerous. if you treat your only gay character badly, you are essentially treating every single gay person badly in that universe. so not only is lesbophobia and disdain for wlw harmful to sapphic women via their exclusion in media, it’s also harming those minorities who do get rep. when people try to defend lesbophobic source material, that’s when fandom starts to get toxic. the need for critical thinking has never been more apparent and it has also never been less appeased—and wlw are getting hit hard by it, as always.
finally, a pretty big driving factor of lesbophobia is, ironically, lesbians. my lesbian friends and i often joke that though everyone seems to hate us, no one hates lesbians more than lesbians do. though i’d say it’s most prevalent on tumblr, i see traces of it all over the internet. the growth of alt right lesbian movements is not only reinforcing hatred for lesbians, but also reinforcing hatred for bi and pan women. here you have these terrible lesbians using their platforms to express their disgust for bi/pan women, for aces and aros, for trans women/nb lesbians, and people see them and say, “gosh, lesbians are just awful.” and just like that, all of us are evil. occasionally, lesbian blogs that i follow get put on terf blocklists for no other reason than the fact that they have “lesbian” in their bio. and the lesbians that actually deserve to be on those blocklists? they’re too busy spewing misinformation about trans women and bi women to care, boosted up by their alt right friends in an ever-expanding movement. i’ve found that this heavily influences fandom on tumblr, lesbians often getting branded as “biphobic” when they hc a female character as a lesbian rather than bi or pan. this criticism of both lesbians and wlw by lesbians and non-wlw alike only ever allows lesbophobia to grow, both in and out of fandom. that said, lesbians aren’t to blame for their own discrimination; rather, many of us have been conditioned into subconsciously endorsing it after spending our entire lives hearing heterosexual platitudes about lesbians and sapphic relationships. homophobic cishets are and always have been the nexus of this oppression—the only difference is that now they can hide behind alt right lesbians.
one thing has been made apparent to me throughout my time in fandom, and that thing is that no one likes to see men “underrepresented”. people hate sapphic ships and lesbians so much because there is no room for men, and men Do Not Like That. so, like the worms that they are, they slither their way in, be it through fetishization or condemnation of wlw characters and ships, and they ruin whatever good things we have going for us. the thing about worms, though, is that they’re easy enough to crush if you’re wearing the right shoes.
so to all my bi/pan gals and lesbian pals: put on your doc martens, because we’ve got ourselves some lesbophobes to stomp on. 
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peppersonironi · 4 years
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Batfam Avengers Crossover Chapter Two: Meeting
Chapter Two, folks! Finally some batfam appearances.
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences 
Category: Gen 
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types 
Relationships: Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Natasha Romanov & Damian Wayne, Clint Barton & Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tim Drake & Duke Thomas, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Dick Grayson/Wally West, Roy Harper/Koriand'r/Jason Todd, 
Characters: Bruce Wayne, Selina Kyle, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain, Stephanie Brown, Barbara Gordon, Justice League (DCU), Alfred Pennyworth, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Clint Barton, Thor (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Peter Parker, Alfred the Cat (DCU), Bat-Cow (DCU), Goliath (DCU), Selina Kyle’s Cat Isis, Kate Kane (DCU), Duke Thomas, 
Additional Tags: Batbrothers (DCU), Avengers Meet The Batfam, MCU/Batfam crossover, Crossover, no beta we die like robins, rated T for Jason’s language, I bleeped it out though. Just to be safe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, canon? What’s canon?, Deaf Clint Barton,Deaf Character, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Happy Batfamily (DCU), Birdflash and joyfire are implied/referenced,
Summary: Avengers enter the cave, and meet the batfam!
Notes: In sorry if this chapter is a bit boring, I tried to keep it light. (I know the techie stuff that I glossed over bored even me) But now that I’m done with the first introductory chapters, I can move to some - hopefully - more fun scenarios!
“Woah.” Peter looked around at the giant cavern that the Green Lantern guy had flown them into. His ring had formed some kind of platform to carry them, and Peter was still theorizing how it worked.
They had flown toward the city - named Gotham apparently - following the mysterious “Batman”. Then reached a waterfall, which had a huge mechanical door system that parted the water. They had gone through a long pathway lit up on the edges before emerging in the cave.
It was huge, with multiple platforms built into the rock. Peter first found himself on one that was clearly meant for vehicles, as there were multiple motorcycles parked beside where Batman’s car stopped. There were other levels that held gym equipment, a sparring ring, weapons stations, and some sort of lab. There was weird memorabilia too. Peter spotted a giant penny, dinosaur, and a Joker playing card. A few more levels had cases for suits, not unlike that which Mr. Stark had. Though some of the suits were strange. One was clearly bloody and ripped. One of the most prominent platforms held a huge computer with a dominating black chair.
However, Peter could have sworn it was playing … The Dinosaur Game? That was weird.
Batman got out of his car the way he had before and made his way over toward the Avengers, where they had been set down by Green Lantern. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, a very loud voice called out in the cave, startling everyone except the Batman.
“Bruce! Where the F*** is my AK-47?!”
The Hulk, who had since transformed back into Bruce Banner, frowned in confusion.
No one got the chance to question it, however, because a young man in a skin tight black bodysuit swung from another level, and was now hanging upside down from a support beam near Batman. He had a blue bird on his chest, Peter thought it looked a bit like an eagle. He also had on a black domino mask.
“Hey B!” He said cheerily. “ I should probably warn you that Hood is on a rampage ‘cause he can’t find his gun. And also Robin is threatening everyone as per usual. ” The Dark Knight sighed. “What about Red Robin, Spoiler, and Oracle? ”
The new comer grinned. “Dinosaur Game Championship. Oracle is in the lead.”
There was a sudden shout of disapproval from where the apparent game seemed to be held.
“And Signal?”
“Taking weapons stock while muttering about how insane we all are.” He shook his head. “He seems to forget he’s one of us, and therefore crazy by association.”
The Dark Knight sighed once more, this time with his fingers on the bridge of his nose. “Thank you Nightwing. Would you tell Red Hood that his AK-47 is in the Med Bay where he left it when he was doing his stitches? And tell everyone to meet in the conference room in uniform. Code 27G.”
Nightwings eyes - well, lenses - widened. He glanced at the Avengers. “Huh. Sure can do B.”
He swung up from his perch, flipped onto the platform above him - Peter was pretty impressed at how casually he did so - and ran off, seemingly melting into the shadows.
An awkward silence followed, with the Avengers all huddling protectively together. Peter really wanted to explore - that T-Rex looked awesome - but he saw the worried look on Mr. Stark’s face. This was an unfamiliar situation. They must be cautious.
A moment later Peter had had enough of caution. “Excuse me sir, is that a dinosaur?”
The Dark Knight turned toward Peter and glared. Out of the corner of his eye, Peter saw Mr. Stark tense up. But a split second later the glare softened. “Yes. Animatronic. From one of my early … endeavors.”
Peter grinned under his mask. “Cool!”
Batman lifted his head, and began walking on a path up. “Come, I’ll show you where we can talk.”
*****
They entered a meeting room that was off to the side of the cave. There was already a group present. They were clumped loosely in a corner, boredom and intrigue apparent on their faces. They all stood to attention when Batman walked into the room, all except for Nightwing from earlier. He was currently in a handstand in the center of the conference table, shifting from one hand to the other. He collapsed onto the table at the sight of the arrivals, before quickly jumping to his feet and saluting with an embarrassed grin on his face. Batman rolled his eyes and they all went back to what they were doing, except Nightwing who slumped into a chair.
The group of teeneagers were dressed in more skin-tight suits. Peter was slightly taken aback by how young they were. The smallest seemed to be around ten - perhaps he was this “Robin” mentioned earlier - and the oldest in his early twenties. Most seemed to be about his own age though, in their mid teens. It felt weird to not be the only kid.
The closest was a young man sitting in one of the chairs with his feet on the table. He seemed to be taller than Nightwing, with a broader chest. He wore gray cargo pants, some sort of utility belt, an armored shirt with a red bat on it, a leather jacket, and a red helmet that looked a lot like Tony’s. Peter could already imagine the copyright complaints from their resident billionaire. The man also had gun holsters on each leg, and was stroking a - newly returned - AK-47 in his arms.
The first teenager had black bottoms and red top with a black and gold “X” over his chest, joined by some symbol that looked vaguely like an “R”. He also had a black cape and smooth cowl. He was standing in the corner, leaning against a wall with a tablet and mug of coffee in hand.
A teenage girl stood beside the teen, dressed in a mostly purple with hints-of-black bodysuit and a purple hooded cape. She wore a full black mask over her face, with only white lenses. It was a bit freaky, but she was mostly non-threatening, due to her easygoing posture and laugh, which was directed at the teen with the cowl.
The kid was dressed in black leggings, green boots and gloves, a red and yellow tunic with an “R” on it, black and yellow hooded cape, and green domino mask. Though the strangest thing about him was the huge Katana he was sharpening while sitting at the table. He also had an unimpressed glare on his face. Peter decided that he and Helmet-Guy were the scariest in the room. Aside from Batman.
Another teenaged boy had a tired look on what Peter could see of his face, as he looked slightly disapprovingly at his companions. He stood in more heavily plated bright yellow and black armor with a bat symbol on it. He had a utility belt, and a helmet which looked to be shaped like a bat.
What was with these people and bats?
Peter didn’t get to ask, as at that moment a new person joined the group. Flying down a ramp was a red headed young woman in a wheelchair. She expertly slowed to a stop in front of Batman, who had not yet entered the room. Peter noticed that she had hastily applied a black domino mask, leaving a pair of glasses in her lap, along with a laptop.
“Sorry I’m late B, I forgot where I had put my extra mask. These things keep disappearing!” She said the last part while glaring at the kids.
“It’s fine, Oracle. Now that we’re all here-” He paused, then looked around at the group. “Where’s Black Bat?”
“Handling a Robbery downtown. She’s finishing up. ETA 20 minutes.”
Batman nodded. “Very well, we’ll continue without her, she won’t mind.”
He entered the room, ushering everyone else to do so as well. With a quick glare, all the kids sat down. The Avengers joined them, as there were plenty of seats. The only one who did not sit was Batman.
He spoke once everyone was ready, mainly directing his words to the kids. Peter briefly wondered what it would be like to actually be respected like that, but shook off the thought. Batman quickly and efficiently summarizes the events, including several readings of the energy sources, which only the red and black teen seemed to understand as he nodded along, looking fascinated. Once he was done, Batman turned to the Avengers. “Names. No need to share personal identities if you are uncomfortable. Though since we are from different earths, I doubt it would matter.”
“Everyone already knows our identities on our earth,” Mr. Stark said, receiving several weird looks from the teens. “So it’s not a problem for us.” He removed his face plate. “Tony Stark, I’m Iron man in the suit, which I built myself.” He gestures to Steve Rogers next.
“Captain America, Steve Rogers. Our resident super soldier and senior citizen.” Steve frowned at the last comment.
“Bruce Banner,” Mr. Stark said next, “Alter ego is the Hulk. Anger Issues and Gamma radiation galore.”
Red Robin perked up. “Cool! How did-” He was cut off by a glare from Batman.
“This is Thor Odinson, named… well, Thor. God of lightning, has a hammer. You can call him Sparky Sparky Boom Man.” A pause. “Yeah, maybe just stick with Thor.”
“Clint Barton, codename Hawkeye. Our long distance weapons specialist.” Mr. Stark gestured to Clint’s bow for good measure. The kids giggled and whispered something to each other that sounded like ‘Green Arrow knockoff ’, though Peter didn’t get it.
“Black Widow, Natasha Romanov. Intelligence expert, and ex-assassin.” This got a bunch of whispers from the kids.
Peter was the last to be introduced. He pulled off his mask while Mr. Stark said “The kid’s Peter Parker, our rookie, also known as Siderman ”
“You sure it’s Spiderman,” Helmet-Guy said.
Peter glared. “Yes.”
“Red Hood,” Batman said, frowning. “No antagonizing the interdimensional visitors.”
Red Hood just shrugged and went back to stroking his gun.
The Avengers just sat around awkwardly. The Woman jabbed her elbow into Superman’s ribs, which got him talking.
“Oh… It’s only fair we introduce ourselves, since it isn’t really official earlier.” This time it was Superman who spoke. “I’m Superman, known as Kal-El, a kryptonian. Human name is Clark Kent.”
Huh, he didn’t look like an alien.
“Here we have Wonder Woman, an amazon, demigoddess, and princess. Secret Identity is Diana Prince.” He gestured to the woman, who, despite just being called a princess, looked very threatening indeed.
“Martian Manhunter, a martian known as J’onn J'onzz. Civilian name is John Jones. Yes, quite original.” The Martian nodded in greeting, and Peter was seriously freaking out. A real martian!? Cool!
“Flash, a speedster also known as Barry Allen.” The man pulled back his cowl as Superman spoke.
“S’up?” He asked with a smile.
“And Hal Jordan, one of the Green Lanterns.”
“The best Green Lantern.”
Batman grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “keep telling yourself that.”
Superman turned to Batman, but before he could, the Dark Knight spoke. “I can do it myself Clark.” He lifted his hand and removed his cowl to reveal a handsome man in his early to mid thirties with black hair and blue eyes. “Batman, also known as Bruce Wayne.”
He turned toward the kids. “These are my kids, as well as partners.”
He started with Nightwing. “Nightwing, aka Richard Grayson. My eldest.” Richard grinned and removed his domino mask. He too had blue eyes.
“Call me Dick,” he said.
“Red Hood, aka Jason Todd, my second eldest.” Jason pressed some button or something on his helmet and took it off to reveal… a domino mask. After a quick glare from Bruce, he sighed and took it off. Revealing black hair and blue eyes.
“Red Robin,” there was a soft ‘yum’ that came from the corner, though Peter couldn’t tell who said it. “Aka Tim Drake.” Tim pulled his cowl back and grinned. He had black hair and blue eyes.
“Over there is Signal, aka Duke Thomas, my ward.” The teen took off his helmet, revealing yet another black-haired kid. Though Duke was clearly african american, and had brown eyes.
“Next is Robin aka Damian Wayne, my youngest.” Damian sneered as if he were above everyone around him.
“Spoiler, aka Stephanie Brown, is a family friend.” Stephanie waved.
“I’m also his ex,” Stephanie said, jutting her thumb at Tim.
Tim groaned. “When will you stop introducing yourself like that?”
“When it stops getting under your skin.”
Tim sank back in his chair and flung an arm over his eyes.
Batman sighed once more. “Oracle, aka Barbara Gordan. Also a family friend, and our tech specialist.” Baraba nodded in recognition. “Now that introductions are out of the way, we must discuss how you got here, and how you’ll get back.”
Everyone nodded and began the discussion. Mr. Stark started off the explanation, going over Anagnorisis, the compound, the gun that they got hit with, and how they ended up in the crater.
The other adults - mainly Batman - popped in, talking about the calculations for such an interdimensional jump. Peter listened intently, as he found it utterly fascinating, but didn’t add anything. Then Tim spoke, listing off a series of numbers and variables, that were received with nods. Peter was a bit jealous that he spoke so easily. So Peter decided to add something later on, a small comment about energy sources. When he did, the conversation stopped. Peter thought he was dead meat for interrupting, but then Bruce - Wayne, not Banner - spoke.
“The kid’s smart.”
Mr. Stark smiled proudly.
A moment later the conversation continued. They went on for almost a half hour, and even Peter was getting a bit bored. He could tell the other kids were too. The girls seemed to have gotten back to their Dinosaur Game championship, and there were small cheers and groans coming from their corner every so often. Jason and Damian had yet to set aside their weapons, though they had begun a small conversation too quiet for Peter to hear. The only people who seemed to be paying attention were Dick and Tim, though Dick clearly didn’t understand half the words that were being tossed around.
The adults seemed to be disinterested as well, namely Barry and Hal, who were in the middle of a thumb war. When they inevitably got too loud, Batman sent a glare their way. The other members of the Justice League seemed to only be listening out of courtesy. As were Thor and Clint. Natasha seemed to be focussed more on the kids. She had a small frown on her face, as if something about them bothered her.
Everyone paid attention when Batman spoke next, however. “It should take at least a week to charge up the energy sources and prepare a device to send you home.”
Peter perked up. “That’s not that long. Have you dealt with interdimensional travel in the past?”
Several of the kids groaned. “Don’t remind me,” Stephanie said.
“Worst twenty-six hours of my life!” Dick agreed.
Then Jason spoke, and Peter was speechless.
“It was almost as bad as that time I died. Now that wasn’t a fun evening.”
“You died?” Natasha said, clearly confused and worried.
“I’m better now,” he said as if referring to a common cold. Jason had a small smirk on his face as he shrugged.
“Back to the discussion at hand,” Batman said, glaring at Jason. “Yes, Peter, we have dealt with the multiverse before. It should be fairly simple to locate your dimension and send you back. The only problem is powering the device. It requires Superman flying out to the sun and placing the energy core inside to fuel it. It needs to remain there for over a week.”
“You can fly to the sun?” Mr. Stark asked. “How do you survive?”
Clark shrugged. “I have impenetrable skin, and a very high melting point.”
No one questioned this, though Peter was quite intrigued.
“Where will they stay?” Dick asked, which caused a sudden silence.
“Does the Watchtower have enough rooms available?” Barry asked.
“What’s the Watchtower?” Peter asked.
“Our space station,” Diana answered, much to Peter’s delight, “and no, we have those visiting Green Lanterns, remember? Hal has been grousing about it all this week.”
“I was not!” Hal said, then sighed. “Okay, maybe I was, but that’s beside the point. What about your farmhouse, Clark?”
Clark shook his head. “Under renovation. Speaking of which I need to head over there after this. Lois will have a cow if I’m late.”
There was silence after that, as everyone was thinking. Then Stephanie got a - slightly evil, Peter thought - smile on her face. “What about the Manor? God knows we have enough space.”
“You don’t even live here!” Tim said.
Bruce glared at Stephanie for a bit then sighed. “The Manor would work. Though why anyone would want to stay with you rabble rousers is beyond my understanding.”
Jason snorted. “Says the guy who adopted us all willingingly.”
Batman grumbled, but was saved from replying as a sudden noise came from the door.
The meeting room had a wide glass window next to the exit - which was open - so Peter had a good view of the sleek black motorcycle that entered the cave, upon which rode a figure dressed all in black. The motorcycle was parked and yet another costumed teen - this time a girl - strolled toward the conference room.
She was dressed in head to toe black, in the form of a skin tight suit. She also had a yellow utility belt, and outline of a bat on her chest. She wore a black cape and cowl which had pointed ears and covered her whole face. There seemed to be some form of stitching across her mouth, which was quite creepy.
She walked forward and entered the room quickly. Bruce smiled upon seeing her.
“Ah, Black Bat. How was the robbery?”
She motioned with her hands in a way that Peter didn’t understand. It seemed vaguely like that sign language which he’d seen Clint use.
Whatever it was, Batman seemed to understand. “Very good. These are our visitors. Code 27G. They’ll be staying at the manor till we can send them back.”
Black Bat reached up and took off her cowl revealing an asian girl around eighteen year old with a black bob. “Good,” she said. “Names?”
“We’re allowing them. Over there we have Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Thor Odinson, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker, and Bruce Banner.”
“Bruce?” She asked with a smirk.
Batman sighed. “Yes.” He turned to the group. “This is my Daughter Cassandra Cain. Alias is Black Bat.”
Everyone muttered small hellos, except Jason who said something with the word “favorite” in it. Cassandra didn’t seem bothered by the lack of enthusiasm. She just smiled and walked over to Damian.
“Seat. Mine.” She spoke simply.
Peter thought the kid would just sneer, but instead he quickly moved over. He could have sworn the kid looked scared. Perhaps the kid was all bark and no bite.
“Well, if that’s all, I really should be going,” Clark Kent said as he rose from the table. “Good luck with staying at the manor. See ya kids.”
“Bye Uncle Supes,” The kids chorused
“I should be going as well,” Barry said. I’m needed at the station.”
Soon the rest of the league left, and the Avengers were left alone with the bats and birds.
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Shadow Young: The Ultimate Heylin Warrior
So I was rereading some old theories about Shadow, and I realized that I completely overlooked such a blatant coincidence!
The Yin-Yang Paradigm | Parallels between the Goddess Jiu Tian Xuan Nu and Shadow
The Yin-Yang Paradigm can take a backseat. It's an interesting read, but the only part we need is the line from the Xiaolin Chronicles Special Edition Preface.
In ancient China,the great Xiaolin Master Dashi unlocked the secrets to supreme martial arts powers.  He became a Xiaolin Dragon–a force of light–defender of good.
Where there is yang, there must be yin.  The evil witch Wuya stole Dashi’s secrets and molded herself into the embodiment of darkness–the Heylin Dragon.
Why is assigning Wuya, the original Heylin Dragon Warrior, as an embodiment of yin energy important? Because the Chinese Goddess, Jiu Tian Xuan Nu, is also known as "The Ultimate Yin." Shadow shares almost all her aspects with this deity. This means that Shadow was (or is?) destined to become The Ultimate Heylin Warrior.
What does that even mean? [Spoilers under the cut]
Dashi was the first Xiaolin Dragon Warrior. Wuya stole his techniques and molded herself into a Heylin Dragon. At the end of XC it is stated that Chase ascends to the level of a Heylin Dragon, quite literally.
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While Wuya doesn't possess the same literal transformation that Chase has associated with the title of "Dragon," it still bears mentioning that both achieved this level of skill.
How Xiaolin Dragon Warriors--warriors of light--differ from Heylin Dragon Warriors--warriors of darkness--is that Xiaolin Warriors ascend to the level of Dragon when they successfully ride and pair with an actual dragon.
Chase was never able to do this, and he despised his fellow Monks (and brother) for moving on without him. In addition, as part of being a Xiaolin Dragon Warrior, one must give up part of their unique abilities and channel them into a mystical item for future generations of Xiaolin Warriors to use--these are the Shen Gong Wu. Chase had worked so hard for what little power he had, that he didn't think it was right for him to suddenly give it up for the sake of posterity.
While not much is known about Wuya, we do know that she craved power. Before Dashi defeated her in the first Xiaolin Showdown, she might have been well on her way to taking power from the whole world. It's purposefully left ambiguous and we are never truly meant to know. What is certain is that Wuya definitely could have done all, or possibly more, than Chase did in this Heylin Dragon Form.
So how does all this yin and yang relate back to Shadow?
As stated in the title of this post, I believe Shadow was destined to become the Ultimate Yin. In this context of "Xiao-yang" and "Hey-yin," this means that Shadow is slated to become the Ultimate Heylin Warrior. But Jiu Tian Xuan Nu is very much a positive, good, and balancing force in the pantheon. How can an ultimate evil be that too?
Throughout XC Shadow is shown checking and attempting to balance Chase's evil acts. The strongest example of the imbalance within Chase & his brand of Evil and how Shadow reacts to that imbalance can be seen in "Chase Lays an Egg." Not only does Shadow roll her eyes at Chase's gluttony early on, insisting that there are better (and more Evil) things to do, but she also shows extreme disgust over Chase's affection for the Egg. After the Egg is stolen, Chase prompts Shadow to go into the Xiaolin Temple and get back his Egg. Shadow refuses, and Chase darts off to get it himself. Shadow cooks up her own plan to destroy the Egg and revert Chase back to his usual, Evil self. Shadow's whole motivations towards Chase after episode 8, "Out of Ping Pong's Mind," can mostly be summed up as her trying to get him to be the most Evil version of himself. Over time she gets annoyed that he doesn't change and that eventually motivates her in part to leave ("Shadow's Role and Abuse" 2017).
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So early on, Shadow already has an ideal of the Evil Chase should be living up to, but isn't. This is likely why Wuya and Shadow quickly and easily bonded--both possess extremely powerful yin energy. It's strange that returning Wuya to a solidly form is all Shadow's idea, but then Shadow seems surprised when her vision leads her back to Wuya an episode later ("Back in the Flesh Again," "Call of the Dragon Spirit"). I think it's only natural that Wuya would want to eliminate Shadow from the competition to be the strongest Heylin force. Wuya might not know that this is even coming, however.
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The only real reason Wuya gives to eliminate Shadow at the end of the series is that Wuya saw Shadow as a tool to lead her to Princess Kaila, who Wuya believes was involved with her wrongful imprisonment by Dashi inside the spring inside the puzzle box for over 1500 years. Wuya doesn't need Shadow any more, since Kaila is right in front of her, so Shadow does something a little out of character. She turns around on Wuya and is last shown running for her life with Princess Kaila. It's implied that the two are at least traveling together, but it's unknown if Shadow is protecting Kaila or not. Since Shadow feels a connection to Kaila, I would argue that she is protecting the princess ("Fly the Dragon!").
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So if Shadow is supposed to become this Ultimate Heylin force, why is she, presumably, going to be trained by Princess Kaila--a force of good--on how to use her powers? Shadow, Kaila, and Loniani-Nui--a dragon lady shapeshifter, Dragon Partner to Chase's older brother, and Chase's Monkhood crush--all have a yin-yang symbol somewhere on their body. Nui's is on her throat chakra, Kaila's is near her heart chakra, and Shadow's is on her third eye chakra. You can read more about the significance of these placements here.
All you really need to know about the significance of these placements is that the highest chakra--and thus enlightenment--is at the top of the head. Shadow, having her yin-yang on her third eye is the one closest to reaching that enlightenment of these three women. Xiaolin is based on Shaolin Buddhism, the main goal of the religion is to attain enlightenment. Since Dragon Warriors are able to fuse and link with their dragon partners, they definitely get very close to entering the state of nirvana. Or since it's a nonsensical kid's show, it might be better described as "an empowered, altered state of being one with the world and its' knowledge." There's not enough to go on at this point unfortunately.
To back up Shadow being secretly super powerful, @p-r-imeday had an exchange with series creator, Christy Hui, on instagram where Hui casually revealed that she just likes characters with really "big hair." Which explains a lot of the design choices in XC. The Heylin characters with the longest hair are Shadow, then Wuya, and then Chase. Chase even gets slightly longer hair when he goes super size and absorbs all the chi he possibly can. Wuya's hair is still slightly longer due to the tight curl at the end.
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So Shadow already has some construct of what Evil is supposed to be in her mind, and she is willing to reinforce that ideal. Wuya, the only other major embodiment of yin, sees Shadow as a threat, albeit by association with Wuya's real target. And Shadow is the closest to enlightenment because of the placement of her yin-yang being so close to the crown chakra, in addition to her having the longest hair in canon, which makes her the most powerful being.
Shadow's role as the Ultimate Heylin Warrior would be to enforce a strict view of Evil onto the Heylin side. While XC did greatly limit the number of visibly active villains, the series as a whole is well known for having a plethora of antagonists who operated in evil areas, but relatively outside the Xiaolin-Heylin conflict. Shadow would essentially be out there saying, "Hey, if you're going to use that Wu you gotta fight the Xiaolin Order. Or Else." She would also be required to show up to fight Evils that don't fit her strict interpretation of what "Evil" is, thus aiding the side of good.
I describe it best here, in that the best way to paint the world grey is to start with pure white and pure black, and constantly have them mixing with each other. Because at the end of the day, the world Dashi has created through his actions is one in which very few dots of black are allowed to exist, while the Xiaolin Order stands blinding in its' light.
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Without Shadow forcing people who want to use Wu to enter the fray, XC leaves us with Jack, Wuya, and... Tiny Sim? Sim isn't interested in Wu at all, and Jack was only in it due to Wuya (Salvadore serves Wuya, so I'm not mentioning him in this list). The Xiaolin Order has five Monks being trained to become Dragon Warriors. It's grossly imbalanced. Shadow is needed to correct that balance. And thus, a proper, balanced world order would be achieved.
TL;DR:
Shadow is the most powerful being in all of XC because she has really long hair.
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Heartbreak - Part 2
Part 1 is found [here]
Pairing: ShinsoxReader, BakugouxReader (ex-boyfriend, RIP)
Rating: Fluff!
Words: 2,878
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As the weeks grew longer, your feelings for He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named began to fade and numb. He had tried apologizing you multiple times within the first week, even going as far as leaving one flower each period on your desk for you. Which was very out-of-character, especially for someone as explosive as him. By the second week, he had upgraded to chocolates, your favorite brand, and bouquets of white orchids, a symbolization of love and care. As the notecard had said on the first bunch of snowy flowers that you had gotten from him. And what did you do with his gifts?
You looked him straight in the eye with the sweetest smile, and had Todoroki set them all on fire for you. Which he did all too happily.
By the third week, he had stopped with the boxed candy and flowers, instead reverting to following you around like a lost puppy. He didn’t speak, instead trailing behind you with dark eyes and a gloomy expression. He had even stopped himself from cursing at you, immediately halting his voice whenever you spoke up against him with unusually calm eyes, lips pressed into a fine line. And then the staring would continue, and you’d go back to ignoring him once more. By week five, you were practically non-existent to him, and he to you. All of your classmates had heard what had happened between Bakugou and you, and they all took your side; even Kirishima and Kaminari were upset with him, for Christ’s sake! You had forgiven Kiri pretty easily, especially when you found out that he didn’t know about the situation until that fateful day at (R/N) Restaurant, same as you. And of course, Shinso had been by your side the entire time, practically acting like a second skin as he glared daggers at the hothead ex of yours. It was most likely because of Shinso that Bakugou kept his distance. You could still remember how he tried to approach you the day after the break up…
“Why are you fucking acting like this, idiot?”
You tried to ignore him, arms wrapped around yourself as you bumped into his shoulder intentionally. He grabbed your shoulder roughly, and you could smell smoke. “HEY, I’m talkin’ to you, dumba-”
“I suggest you release her. Now.” The familiar, bored voice of the purple-haired boy made you snap your eyes up from the ground where they had been planted, trying to hide the unwanted tears that hung in your (E/C) eyes. Bakugou glared at the boy, eyes narrowed as they watched Shinso stroll past him and yank Bakugou’s hand from your shoulder before wrapping one arm around your own. “In case you couldn’t tell, (Y/N) isn’t really in the mood to talk with you.”
Bakugou growled, this time aiming for Shinso as he spun the boy around. “Hey, watch your fucking mouth, fuckhead.” To anyone else, this might’ve been slightly intimidating. However, Shinso’s only response was a raised eyebrow as he kept his face blank, arm still slung around your shoulders lightly. You had gone from staring at the dirt to darting your gaze between the two boys, eyes widening with every passing second. Even you knew that Bakugou wasn’t a dumbass, but… Did he really forget who he was talking to?
Shinso smiled, his expression dark as he glared at the spikey boy. “Hey, Bakugou? Sit.” Immediately he dropped to the ground, legs folded beneath him as he stared up at you and Shinso with dimmed eyes. “Good boy. Now, beg for (Y/N)’s forgiveness.” It wasn’t even a pause before Bakugou was doing as Shinso said, eyes gleaming with newfound sadness as he wept and begged for your forgiveness, groveling at your feet as he stared up at you with his ruby eyes dropping with crystal tears. And for a quick moment, you felt proud. You felt great to stare down at him with a dirty look, so often as he had done to you in the past, and a grin overtook your lips. You turned to Shinso, who was still focusing on Bakugou with furrowed brows.
“Okay, okay. Good enough. Thanks, Shin.” You leaned into his chest, not noticing the way his body tensed up, or how his attention snapped to you, or how his breathing stuttered at your sudden closeness. But he shook it all off as quickly as it had come, going back to staring down at the mess of an ex boyfriend at your feet. Shinso bared his teeth at him in a sadistic smirk. “Stay the hell away from her… Unless you want an extra like me to do this again.” His tone was unlike him, and for a moment you looked up at the sleepy boy in awe as he stood up for you. Hell, was he always this handsome, or were you that sleep deprived? You pushed that thought to the side, instead giggling as you guided Shinso past Bakugou in silence, who still sat heavily on the ground with red tinting his angry expression.
And holy shit, did that really make your day.
You grinned to yourself as you recall the memory, before spotting Shinso leaning against the wall beside the classroom door with his usual stoic look. Eagerly you skipped to him, your spirits already lifting. “Shin!” His name fell from your lips like a prayer, and immediately his head shot up to spot you beside him. His expression didn’t change in the slightest, but you could detect a softness in his eyes that he reserved only for you. “How was class, kitten?”
You snorted slightly at the nickname, making Shinso’s lips twitch upwards. “Meow, meow. It was great, I learned so much and I’m totally going to hold this information in my heart for the rest of my life!” You clutched your chest dramatically, and this time it was Shinso snorting at you. “How was your classes today?”
“Wonderful.” His voice was dry, and a tinkling laugh came from you. Another lip twitch. “Now, can we go to sleep? I’m tired.”
“You’re always tired.”
“Exactly. Glad you agree.”
You grinned at his response, looping one arm through his as you dragged him towards the dorms. “So, what’s the plan for today? Just more sleep with a side of Disney movies for me?”
“Sort of. It’s a surprise. Trust me?”
“Whole-heartedly.”
This time, a full-blown grin overtook his features at your lack of hesitance to answer, and you nearly furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as to why your heart seemed to stutter at that same time. He was your friend, you chanted to yourself like a mantra. Nothing else. Just a really, really good friend. You smiled back in reply instead, shoving aside your weird heart jumps and focusing more on the boy beside you. “Soooo… No hints?”
“No hints.”
You pouted slightly at him, and he glanced sideways at you before directing his attention back in front of him. “Jeez. You’ve never been so secretive before, Shin. Makes me feel like we’re going on an adventure. Or maybe a secret mission!” He chuckled at your usual theatrics, leading you through the familiar wide doors of the Alliance building and up the staircase to your bedroom. At this point, his hand had slipped down from your arm and ended up entwined with your own, his long fingers twisted with yours loosely as he continued to surge forward, not sparing a glance over his shoulder at you. As soon as his hand had found yours, though, your cheeks erupted with heat. God, it must’ve been an accident, right? Or maybe it was more comfortable for him to hold your hand versus your arm. Right? Your friend, your closest friend who you definitely didn’t have any romantic feelings towards, definitely didn’t like you like that. Right? Right. Yet your thoughts made your cheeks flame hotter than ever before.
By the time you and Shinso had made it to the outside of your room, you had denied all thoughts about Shinso liking you - because that wouldn't happen, because you were just friends - into the farthest corner of your mind. For a moment, the two of you stood staring at your bedroom door. You tilted your head at it. “Ah, yes. A very nice color; matches well with the wall’s color.” You mused, glancing at Shinso for a reaction. None, nothing. His hand was still in yours, but noticeably more tense and slightly clammy, as if he were nervous; and you would’ve believed it if it hadn’t been for his blank expression. “Shin? Shinso?” You nudged him slightly, and even tried to pull your hand from his. This only prompted him to cling to your hand more tightly, and finally he looked at you.
You knew Shinso was never an expressive guy; in fact, he showed very little of his emotions on his face. You had only seen him happy, frustrated, sad, and downright pissed. But the expression on his face at this point was none of the above. It was… vulnerable. As if he was putting his heart on the line. You’d see his eyes soften for you every now and then, but his eyes at this moment were full of fire that made you want to melt on the spot. And for the first time in your life, you saw the violet-eyed boy hesitate. “Just… Don’t freak out.” He winced at his own warning, and suddenly you were on high alert. Don’t freak out? Was there a monster behind your door that you didn’t know about? You were about to crack a joke, anything to lighten up the mood, but any words that were planning to escape from your throat were halted as Shinso swung open the door to your bedroom.
Just because you weren’t a big fan of romantic movies didn’t mean that you didn’t see them, especially with Shinso being a closet-fan for the genre. Yet you didn’t expect to see your room to be pulled from a rom-com scene right by its throat. Rose petals scattered a path to the surface of your bed, candles on your bedside table and desk, enveloping the room with the scent of lilac and vanilla. Heart-shaped balloons littered your ceiling, their strings dangling over your shoulders with a notecard attached to each. “Sh-Shinso?” Your voice sounded weak to your own ears, and when he didn’t answer right away, you pulled on one of the strings that hung down from a balloon, flipping the card over for you to read. You’d recognize his messy handwriting anywhere.
Your laugh.
You furrowed your eyebrows at the short phrase, glancing over at the purple-haired teenager who had followed you into your room and closed the door behind you. He stayed silent once more, but his eyes begged you to continue. You grabbed at another notecard.
Your smile.
And another.
Your sass.
And another.
Your anger.
Your obsession with Disney.
Your underwear.
Your cheeks burned at the last part, which had been an accident. Why was he even folding your laundry to begin with? You shake your head. That wasn’t important at the moment.
You continued to pull down the other notecards, stacking them all together as the words piled higher and higher. They all whirled through your brain, and as you finally grabbed the last one dangling, you turned to Shinso. “I-I don’t understand.” Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth, throat dry as he approached you slowly. It was then that you noticed the notecard he held in his hand; the final one. He held it out to you, and a smile graced his features as you grasped the edge of the paper softly. Your hands were shaking, but from what you couldn’t tell. Instead of thinking about it, you flipped the card over, letting your eyes drag across Shinso’s messy handwriting once more. Your other hand rose to cover your gaping mouth.
I love everything about you.
“Shinso…?” You tried once more, and this time you received a reaction. The note fell from your weak hand as he grabbed your wrist, pulling you closer to him until both of your hands rested against his lanky chest. At this point, Shinso was done with waiting and hesitating. Without a second thought he dropped to both of his knees, clinging to your hands as if his future depended on it. His usual sleepy gaze was full of life and energy, staring up at you as if you were the light in the darkness. “I know you just broke up with bricks-for-brains a month ago, but I love you, (Y/N). I’ve loved you since you spilled a plate of curry on the front of my shirt during your first day at work. Where I first met you, and you stared up at me with those doe-like eyes that held determination like no other. I fell in love with you all over again as you stood up against that meat head of an ex, then again when we were in the women’s bathroom and you recognized that quote from Love By The Sea.” He released a breathy laugh, dropping his head and closing his eyes momentarily before focusing them on you once more. Your own breathing had become shallow as you listened to him, hanging onto every word that descended from his lips as if it were a life line. “I know it’s too soon to confess this all to you, and I know you’ve been having a tough time, but I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I love you with every fiber in my being. You don’t need to reply to me now; I’ll wait for you. For as long as you need me to.”
He reached forward and pushed a stray piece of hair behind your ear, and that broke the dam. The tear that rolled down your cheek shocked Shinso, and he immediately leaned away from you with a curse. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t expect that you’d-” You cut him off by placing your palm over his rambling mouth, a low giggle rising from your chest. God, this was the last thing that you expected, but that didn’t mean it was a bad thing. “I’m happy, I swear. Happy tears, see?” You grinned as you continued to let your tears fall, with Shinso placing his hand against your cheek once more, wiping away the trails. “I’m scared.” You confessed, in a voice so low that you thought he didn’t hear you for a second. But he did, and he took the hand off from his mouth in order to kiss its five finger tips delicately before he folded it against his chest.
“I know. I am too. It’s not like I do this for any girl who accidentally snorts out soda after laughing too hard.” He said. With that comment, you smacked his chest with a sniffle. “Shin! That was one time!” You whined, and he laughed as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and pulled you against him.
“... I’m scared, but I’m willing to try if you are.” His words were barely above a whisper, and they were so sweet that you had to hold back another sob from erupting. You had never felt this way with Bakugou before; lightweight, breathless, dizzy with emotions and most importantly, love. You didn’t stop to think as your wrapped your arms around Shinso’s neck, pulling his face closer until you smashed his lips to yours.
He’s warm, and at first he’s as still as the dead, and you’re scared that you pulled the wrong move at the wrong time; then he’s moving, hands planted on your hips as he moves his mouth against yours. You’ve had experience, and you weren’t sure of Shinso’s history; but based on the way he was holding you and molding his lips to your own, you’d never believe that he was an amateur. He was a roaring flame, kindling you into a forest fire until you felt overtaken. He propped himself up on his elbows, lifting his weight from you as he grazed his tongue over your lower lip eagerly. Your hands find their way to his messy locks of hair, tugging his head back enough to give you a chance to catch your breath. He does the same, panting heavily as his grip on you tightens, as if you’d disappear into thin air in front of him. And the way he looked at you… It was as if you were a precious gem, glittering and shiny in his eyes.
“Woah.”
“Yeah. Woah.”
You grinned, massaging his scalp and watching as he closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. You had never seen him so vulnerable before; usually, Shinso was pretty hesitant when it came to touch. He seemed to be a different man, staring down at you with bright eyes and a soft smile.
You knew your choice before he had even given it to you, before you had plucked the first notecard from one of the many balloons still on your ceiling and before Shinso had fallen to his knees before you. Yet your throat still felt swollen, and you gulped before finally speaking. “I love you too. I’d be honored to be your girlfriend.”
And he swept back in to your lips, stealing your breath once more.
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Unlike last time Hetalia got a new season, the response has not been particularly positive, and I’m seeing a lot of twisted feelings towards the show and the fandom to a point where it seems long time content creators are stepping away from it. I know anyone still active who follows me either are or were fans of Hetalia, so it should be relevant for all y’all.
As a fan who never fell out of the show, I find the response sad though healthy, and even if I know I ghosted you all on tumblr (sorry) because of time constraints and mental health, I still make the occasional CMVs. Fact is, I do not let go of special interests very easily. It seems a lot of you all started watching the show at 10-14 years old, where I myself was a bit older – 17 – and had grown a bit more. Long story short, my Naruto phase was your Hetalia phase, and no, it’s not pretty. You’re young and stupid and don’t know much critical thinking and make mistakes, and you have to forgive yourself for those mistakes, especially when the content you consume is associated with the real world in a sensitive subject.
But after seeing all these posts explaining all the bad we see from Hetalia, I wanted to make a post explaining what I learned from it – all the good that can come with a show like this if you stay aware of perspective. I am not excusing all the bad that came with it, for WWII is a serious event in history that should never be forgotten nor made fun of, but here goes:
I went from a ‘war-is-cool’ history buff to one who truly delved in and learned the intricacies of history, being fascinated with the ‘hows’ and the ‘whys’ as well as getting an excuse to look at the histories of nations which I’d never otherwise be interested in, and I know a lot of other people in the fandom did the same. This is how history should be known, as that is how we can truly apply it to the real world.
I learned to separate people from their countries. To give an example that’ll hit close to much of tumblr, when I started Hetalia I hated Americans with a passion because of the road “you” had put the world on, and I considered all y’all dumb and bad as a cause of it. Getting that excuse to take an ACTUAL look at how your nation functioned and what communities truly hid behind the borders, I learned instead that your government is corrupt as shit, your society is rigged against you and you have been forced to stand by and watch as chaos happens. It got applied to the world as a whole, where I considered other nations being as dynamic as my own, with people both good and bad, and the actions of the nation is even less of a reflection of the people in the cases of corrupt democracies or dictatorships.
I separated from Colonial world views. I was never actively racist, brought up in a proper home, and already before Hetalia I fiercely protected the rights of Muslims who are often mistreated in my nation and tried to hear them out when possible. But I was a Westerner, and even if the nation I came from had barely participated in invasions, I had learned to consider my culture ‘correct’ and native and African cultures ‘primitive’. While the journey was long, a step wise process of realizing things like there was nothing inherently ethically wrong eating dogs or partially incubated duck eggs, only in how the animals were acquired, that cultural progress is heavily dependent on perspective and that fucking genocide of native peoples still happen in this damn century, Hetalia was the stepping stone which gave me the interest in other nations to expand my world view. I probably ain’t done here – I have a whole life of outside influences to unlearn – but I’m further than most people I know in my near surroundings, and I’ve even managed to move my parents who originally taught me to respect people of all kinds in the first place.
I learned Nazis were people. This is a conversation which often comes up here on tumblr, and the demonization Nazi Germany and its government directly allows actual Nazis and fascists like Richard Spencer a free pass because they look groomed and proper. Until then, I’d simply assumed no one was ‘stupid enough to be a Nazi’ because of the atrocities of WWII and therefore looked at the world naively. Realizing how little true support Nazis had during WWII and similarly anyone could end down that pungent rabbit hole, I became careful of what I excused on social media and allowed myself to doubt seemingly normal people if their behaviour was alarming – such as the police man who is supposed to be a damn ‘hero’ of society.
I learned how to deal with material sensitive to others. A common problem in the fandom has always been the cosplaying and portrayal of Nazis, especially at cons and the like, and in a similar vein – I did blackface once because of Hetalia. The horrible thing about this is that blackface is immensely common in Europe – at least my own country – and blackface frequently happens at schools during ‘international’ events, where whole classrooms are assigned to portray a designated country. A whole of two times – in 6th grade as well as 2nd grade of high school – I was exposed to blackface as my class was given an African nation to portray – Somalia the first time, Kenya the second. No one, adult, teen or child, are aware of the history of race imitation in my country, but by the second time I was supposed to participate in dressing up as an African tribe, I’d understood the issue – thanks to Hetalia. My friend group of white, privileged, European teens discussed what symbolism was appropriate at cons or in videos – could we wear the Iron Cross? The Nazi flag? What if we burned it during the video? These thoughts are not usually a part of the mind of European youth, and I consider that a grave problem which leads to people making fun of ‘triggers’, downplaying racial issues and the like.
It offered me a means to make history personal. The biggest struggle for good history teachers and the reason we are often made to read and write letters from the periods we study is to make it seem real and get a emotional connection to these past, lost peoples. Hetalia offered puppets for me to place into historical contexts to make them truly real – the main driver pushing me away from mere fascination of war, since I suddenly felt the horrors of warfare through the characters that I loved. Things like Elizabeth I’s court, the conquests of Rome, the dissolution of the Kalmar Union, the battlefield of Somme, the invasion of America, damn slavery becomes different when something you already know is a part of it and you can see them in there. Hearing of people of the past should in itself be enough, and for the closest parts of history (WWII and afterwards) it always was for me, but we are human. We cannot understand the size of a billion, and we struggle understanding the lives of those living centuries before us, unless we are offered context.
I’m not blind to the issues of the fandom or the show. I was here for ‘the r*pist, the pervert and the p*dophile’, I know of South Korean and Chinese issues with the show, and I heard the gassing joke in the show’s dub and got nauseous from discomfort and anger. I’ve always been in the fringe of the fandom due to my social disabilities, so I don’t know everything that happened, but I’ve seen many racist OCs and disrespecting of historical sites. It’s not pretty, but I will believe these people, who were likely young, likely learned in time. And I may have been able to learn these things by other means, but not in the same way, and not through personal interest and research that’s helped me become sceptical and analysing of the world around me.
At its core, Hetalia is about watching a normal, nerdy guy learn how to draw, using stereotypic country personifications mainly from the perspective of Japan. It’s natural he chooses Japan, since he’s Japanese, and WWII is unfortunately the automatic historical event for most common people to focus on – but Hetalia doesn’t even solely focus on that, but is an amalgamation of vaguely correct historical situations played out by the characters, and often it is with the intent of comedy rather than the grimness often associated with historical settings which allows a wider audience than merely history nerds.
What I want you all to do is learn from your mistakes and forgive your younger selves for not knowing better. Maybe reflect on what you got from the show, rather than what you lost. A new generation of young Hetalians is likely coming with the new season, and us old timers might be able to help them avoid pitfalls if we stay around to teach them. The best of the show is compassion towards the people of the world combined and love of history, as I believe Hima wanted it – the worst is Nazi apologetics and racial stereotyping. We decide in what direction we take it, and what lessons we bring into the future.
TL;DR: As a lot of media intended for older audiences, Hetalia is a show which has to be watched critically, which makes it dangerous for young people to watch unhinged, but it also opens up for interest in the world beyond the borders you live within. We should be aware of the issues and learn from them, but in and of itself the show has a lot of good to offer in learning compassion for other nations and cultural groups.
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