#this is a shower thought

[pennyserenade]

david duchovny was so old hollywood and you can call me as unserious as you want for saying that but it’s true. he walked onto the set of the x files and created a vibe so subtly but undeniably horny, which was perfect for censors and terrible for costars. he fucked everyone. on good days he provided sensible well thought out responses but on a whole he was best not to be interviewed. people talk about him like he was some kind of god, but they also all hated his ass at some point or another. that’s so 1940s male movie star

[thedeafprophet]

Do you think they'd be able to get WiFi in polythreme in the neon future

[napneeders]

if ofmd came out in 2006 there would be so many Keane edits

[arielries]

Do you ever wish you could take the steam with you?

[thoughtcascades]

idk how to flirt but i can make things awkward if you're into that

[lokutofu]

World’s Greatest Detective fails to correctly identify his children 😭

[ghoulangerlee]

in the vaguest sense of comparing Job to Shadow or something etc etc etc

[and-corn]

if there's a condition called impulsive anthropomorphizing then I have it

[iwillwringyourneck]

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

Regarding the 'Doctors' Saying':* "If you hear hoof-beats, look for a horse, not a zebra."

Okay, fine. But if someone calls you and says: "There's a zebra in my front yard," don't just tell them "Actually, you're wrong. That's a horse," and hang up.

At least call around and see if there's a zoo nearby, or a visiting circus, and ask if they've had any animals escape, lately. And maybe ask them to double-check.

*As I've heard reported by the Elhers-Danlos Syndrome and Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome communities.

[cowardlykrow]

Stop light shenanigans

Extra:

[bi-writes]

nah i don't fuck with ai generated fics because y'all don't sit there for weeks in front of your blank doc and cry like the rest of us

[confusedspaceotter]

Heyyy friends on the internet, I’m curious-

[thoughtcascades]

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them

[worsesart]

Nowhere to go but down

[bellatrixscurls]

remus lupin has a fucking tongue piercing, idc.

but of course, being so shy, he doesn’t tell you. instead, you find out the first time he begs to eat you out.

you are desperate as it is, clawing at his big arms as they settle on your stomach, rubbing soothing circles there. he lowers his head, pressing a sweet kiss to your clit first, causing you to buck up your hips. “fuck you, rem...” you whine, but he finds it funny, adorable.

he chuckles in a way that makes you want to smash your lips into his, but he beats you to it as his tongue darts out, licking a stripe up your cunt that sends a shiver up your spine. but wait.

“r-remmy!” you whimper, feeling something cold against your hot aching cunt. “tongue... o-out” he looks up at you in surprise, but obeys nonetheless, his tongue lulling out, presenting it to you.

and then you see it. a tongue piercing. remus lupin and a tongue piercing. the same remus lupin who struggled to ask you out for the first time a few months back. you couldn’t believe your eyes.

he looks at you expectantly, half waiting for you to run away from him for merlin knows what reason, because everyone knows that remus is the biggest overthinker.

but instead, your fingers press into the nape of his neck, forcing him back against you. “you drive me crazy, remus lupin.”

and he grins. he grins like a fucking maniac.