#trust me to overthink

[angeart]

for the ask thing: 26 and/or 31

Hi!

26. a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

i'm actually struggling to understand this question. if it's about memories, then yeah, but it's those that i prefer not to think about (it do be like that huh?) - but the question says scenario, so i guess this is about something fictional/play-pretend/could-be? or is it about things that happened again and again? (pls help me understand what you want to know here i am confused by this one sorryy)

31. what type of music keeps you grounded?

this is an interesting question! and i am someone who knows absolutely nothing about putting music in boxes and sorting genres, but i'll do my best to answer!

there's different ways to tackle this, depending on what i need.

if we're talking using music to combat general unease/light anxiety/trying to stay focused? i either defer to my playlists that have a mixture of songs i like in varying tones and genres, orrrr... i go to my musical playlist. which is 50% random encounters, i'll be honest with you, bUT it also has things like markiplier's I don't wanna be free, Gideon's songs, PARANOiD DJ (Smile like you mean it), Frankie (Desert Sand), and Lizzie's and Scott's Deal with destiny, to list a few. Just fun, familiar things.

but.

but.

if we're talking about grounding. as in. not-doing-well grounding.

there are two ways to go about it. one is gentler, which is songs like Cavetown: Talk to me, or The Script: Flares.

then there is what i'd go for if i really need to drown things out. i tried to ask my friend to categorise it, and i guess it'd be indie/some kind of rock? i am not sure if that is helpful, so here are some examples:

Måneskin - Gasoline

Lø Spirit - Mind of Mine

SAINT PHNX - Death of me

Once Monsters - Trapped; Take my throne; House of pain

Seb Adams - Nightmares & Flare guns

Citizen Soldier - Monster made of memories

Three Days Grace - Riot

to make things easier (and also because i realised i do not have these kinds of songs compiled anywhere) i made a makeshift spotify playlist:

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the questions are from this >>ask game<<

[ruporas]

invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)

[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."

Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”

Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.

At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.

"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.

Back to present, Vash’s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”

Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."

In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]

Credits for ID here and here

[heretherebedork]

It's how they first decided to make Q jealous and got him to kiss Toey and then end with both him and Toey miserable and crying and then Q's slow return to their basic friendship and now they're just gonna do the same thing again apparently hoping for different results?!

We know Q is jealous! We know he loves Toey! The problem on his end isn't not having enough jealousy, it's about not having enough confidence to keep going. It's about everyone standing behind Toey and comforting him when Q left. It's about him having ghosted Toey in the past and feeling like he left his heart with him when he did.

Q does not need jealousy. Q does not need all his friends working to get them together. Q needs his friends to talk to him and reassure him and ensure that he knows he is part of their group, that he is important as well, that Toey wants to keep moving forward in their relationship... not to see Chain flirting with Toey and thinking that they moved on and that the original confession was just manipulation like the rest of it was.

He has to feel like he can't really trust anything, like he's worried about what he might lose and what he's risking.

Toey is, to him, his entire heart. Toey is the person he loved who eh was so scared of losing that he fled and now he'd back but he's lying, he's flirting with Chain, he's using all of his friends to manipulate Q and how can Q know where to go from there?

(Will the resolution of this be about Q giving Chain permission to date Toey and the rest of them realizing how he's taking this or will it be just more of this? Will the jealousy act work or will it truly fail the way I want?)

[i-ex1st-ig]

me! me! me! me!

[wanderingmind867]

I've been making new posts, but I've gotten no reception to them. No notes, no reblogs, no nothing. And I realize my insecurity over not being seen is really making me seem super selfish (since I always want to have people reblogging and liking my posts), but I can't help it. So for my sake, can someone please reassure me that you're seeing/saw the posts I made today. I legitimately need to know someone did, for my own mental insecurities sakes.

I mean, really. I've made 5 or 6 posts in just this one hour. and they've all got zero notes. This is how my Insecurity begins to rise and rise. when you make posts but get no reception, I'm sure a person with better will power would pay it no mind. But when I see it, my brain tells me it means nobody is seeing me. which sends me into a spiral of insecurity. I don't particularly like it.

[elenadoeslife]

🌸

[tswwwit]

Bill being forced to say the truth is such a fun concept though. I imagine Ford's the most likely candidate to hit Bill with a truth spell. Now he can expose Bill's nature once and for all! And find out what secret evil plans the demon has involving his nephew. 😠

Only it completely backfires because Bill acts the exact same as he usually does? After all, Bill usually doesn't have a reason to lie to the Pines family. Will he omit the truth? Totally! But rarely does he outright lie.

(But anyway, the plan backfires and Stan and Mabel are not convinced. "Yeah Bill's a jerk but he's not actually harmful", they say, with no knowledge of the countless atrocities he's committed.)

So Bill continues to act like his usual asshole self, completely unaware that he's under the influence of a truth spell. Until he sees his husband do something smart/cute/whatever. Before Bill even realizes, he's saying the sappiest, most gooey sedimental shit any demon has ever heard. Like "You're perfect, I love you so much". Completely unfiltered thoughts. The stuff he even lies to himself about. "You make me so happy. I'm so glad I met you".

The best part is that the situation is even worse (for Bill) the angrier he gets. "I hate you" comes out as "I love you". "You're the worst thing that ever happened to me" comes out as "The best thing". At one point, he accidentally says you're lucky I love you when he meant to be threatening. Everything is terrible. Dippers trying to figure out a cure and Bill can't help because he's to busy throwing up his organs. All the sedimental bullshit is making him sick.

[mysticcollectionbee]

Hazbin Hotel character's favorite Author(s) headcanons and why(because I’m a book/history nerd) Part 1.

Alastor: Ambrose Bierce

A guy who didn’t just write horror/mystery stories but also did journalism and satire? Of course a radio show host/serial killer would like this guy.

They both like critiquing the status quo.

Visited Louisiana so maybe Alastor heard people meeting him or something (fanfic idea).

Was not as racist, misogynistic, or classist as many others in his time period (I.E. why I think Alastor, a creole gentleman, wouldn’t be a huge fan of Lovecraft despite his powers being similar to that of the author’s monsters/gods).

Husk: Ken Kesey or William Melvin Kelly

Basically people who rebel against the status quo.

Younger/sober Husk probably reads Kelly (strong yet subtle critique over societies biggest issues) but when he gets older and more jaded/drunk he likes the tragedies of Ken Kesey ("Society is a fucking mess and so are the people in it").

Niffty: Assorted Harlequin romance novels and (maybe) manga

She was 1950s housewife who was a hopeless romantic…Don’t think I need to explain much if you know about these novels.

Also don’t think she cares about who the author was for them, she just remembers her favorites.

I think after she ended up in hell was when she got access to Manga. Since if she grew up in the U.S. she wouldn't have access to it. Manga came to there in the 80s.

Extra:

Rosie: Edgar Allan Poe

• Has similar tastes to Alastor but Poe is more in her era than Bierce. Also Poe has a lot of romantic tragedies that I think Rosie would like. 

[emmodii-mode]

Just finished my first playthrough of BG3. Romanced Lae'zel, but ending up turning into an Illithid because the idea of making Orpheus or Karlach do it didn't sit well with me (or my character).

I told Lae'zel to leave with Orpheus in the end (I heard she wouldn't stay with a ghaik anyway, which she's valid for, but also, it doesn't feel right to ask her to stay when I know how much her people mean to her). And like-

Her face before she flies off---

She looks so heartbroken and sad.

[demodraws0606]

I wish cc!BBH would stop triggering my anxiety ridden paranoid ass with him not treating his injuries properly /hj

[yeesiine]

I don't have trust issues. I have " I've seen this before and I know how it ends" issues!

[hopelessly-hopeful-romantic]

Her tone over text feels mad at me

I dont want her to push me away

Found on pinterest!

[wereh0gz]

Ok. Y'know I don't talk abt current events and stuff all that often. The internet has always been a sort of escape from irl stuff for me, plus i'm not an activist or anything. I'm just Some Guy. But with what's happening rn with Israel and Palestine and how staff keeps doing shady shit both in regards to what's happening rn and with other stuff they've done before, it just makes me feel uncomfy even being an active user here

I've never given them my money or anything, but just being here is starting to make me uncomfortable. They haven't said anything abt these things outright as far as I know, but knowing how things are going on other socials (like deviantart, which I stopped using bc of the blatant pro-israel shit staff there posted recently among other issues, or youtube being. Y'know. Youtube) I have no doubt they're very much pro-israel as well. Stopping Palestine related tags from trending and nuking pro-palestine blogs might as well be a statement on what their stance is even if they try to hide behind technical issues

I just don't want to feel like I'm inadvertently supporting genocide just by being here and using the site. Maybe that's a bit of a reach bc I don't support them financially but idk. It's not like I'd really have anywhere else to go anyways since pretty much every major social has gone this route. My mutuals are all here too and I don't wanna leave y'all. This is like 99% of my social network

Idk if I'm just overthinking. It's late, I'm tired and I'm rambling and I should be sleeping bc I have shit to do tomorrow but I can't stop worrying abt it. Idk

[bluesidedown]

Assorted thoughts on falling in love

No one ever told me it would be terrifying.

I am very good at finding (or more often inventing) reasons why I shouldn't love him; I do this so that I can have an excuse to run from vulnerability. Mostly this just means I love him anyway, but feel deeply and anxiously conflicted about it.

I hate how undignified this feels. Turns out I have formed at least some of my identity around appearing untouchable and in control. I feel at odds with myself because I can't pretend that being around him makes me less happy than it does; I smile involuntarily when I hear his voice and I can't stop.

It is horrible to me that other people can see the kind of person I have chosen and thus perceive me in a way I can't control. This makes me want to control him, so that I can project the image I want to project. I hate this about myself; it is deeply, deeply unfair to him.

Sitting beside him is maybe the most peaceful place in the entire world.

[raamitsu-personal]

I am in a grave confusion whether to purchase a sonicgear or fantech brand for speakers for soon-to-be pc gaming setup 😮‍💨

[wanderingmind867]

I've been making new posts, but I've gotten no reception to them. No notes, no reblogs, no nothing. And I realize my insecurity over not being seen is really making me seem super selfish (since I always want to have people reblogging and liking my posts), but I can't help it. So for my sake, can someone please reassure me that you're seeing/saw the posts I made today. I legitimately need to know someone did, for my own mental insecurities sakes.

I mean, really. I've made 5 or 6 posts in just this one hour. and they've all got zero notes. This is how my Insecurity begins to rise and rise. when you make posts but get no reception, I'm sure a person with better will power would pay it no mind. But when I see it, my brain tells me it means nobody is seeing me. which sends me into a spiral of insecurity. I don't particularly like it.