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#we are struggling and thriving at the same time
tinybearfeet · 1 year
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Aziraphale didn’t want to go to heaven, not even to “make it a better place if I’m in charge”, not until he was told he could restore Crowley.
Because restoring Crowley to angelic status seems to him, is to him a perfect solution for the problems they seem to have, together: their opposing sides, status of natural enemies, their shared loneliness of being outsiders in their worlds. They can be friends, anything, if Crowley is an angel. He won’t have to push down his goodness in fear of hell (although honestly I think Crowley’s aversion to being “good” is much more than that), and angels won’t have to be cruel, since Aziraphale would be there, making decisions, with Crowley by his side to help him figure out what is truly better and kinder (like he does throughout the season).
To Crowley however being restored to an angel is missing the point entirely. It’s like being given forgiveness when you are owed an apology. If they give you “forgiveness” you are just brought back in until they decide you should be cast away again, when you become too inconvenient, when you demand to be heard, to be treated right. Of course he doesn’t want to go back to heaven — the whole system is his personal hell, more than actual hell ever was.
Just as when Crowley feels betrayed when Aziraphale offers him to go back, so does Azi when Crowley asks him to run off, to continue as things are. To Aziraphale (as of right now) there can be no peaceful happiness for them while they remain as they are. They will always be an angel and a demon, pretending, hiding, struggling to survive one disaster after the other. They can change all that, he feels, he offers Crowley peace, safety, and Crowley refuses it to (seemingly) keep things as they are.
That’s what his “nothing lasts forever is about”. He offers a reprieve and Crowley refuses it. While to Crowley he is throwing away “them” to drag him back to the broken system he knows from experience will only chew them up and destroy everything, in the end.
“I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you,” is the line that hits me the hardest, somehow. Because Crowley indeed doesn’t. He is right about understanding better than Aziraphale could about what it would truly be like. But he doesn’t understand the intent, the offer: be with me, without hiding, without fear, working for the betterment of everything as you used to, as we’ve been doing in secret last 6000 years.
“No nightingales”, oh how Aziraphale face changes at that. Because for them, finally, here, Crowley made subtext text. Yes, they are, were in love. Yes, they had their perfect pocket of a starry night, falling in love. But now the sun is up, and the nightingale isn’t there, maybe even wasn’t here ever. It was just a perfect dream, given up now. For Aziraphale — given up as he offered Crowley to make it a daylight reality, a partnership not on the spy benches, or in an old timeless bookshop, or in the private conversations. A reality where Crowley doesn’t have to hide his eyes all the time.
For Crowley — the dream is given up, because once again Aziraphale is choosing heaven over him. He doesn’t know he’s doing it for him.
So of course the kiss doesn’t save them. They both feel rejected, feel like the one is trying to drag another into a tortured existence. I still struggle to decipher the “I forgive you”. An obvious nod to s1, and to general Christian forgiveness. Does he forgive the fall, the rejection, no nightingales? The fight? As many people said, it’s generally Aziraphale’s “holier than thou” attitude, and there is a bit of it here, some spite as he collects himself. “I know what’s better for us and I forgive you for not realizing it. I forgive you for leaving me alone (in our shared loneliness) to make a better world for us.” Maybe it’s that.
I honestly don’t think one honest conversation could fix things right now for them. They need to change. Crowley needs to grow over his cynicism, to figure out a way to exist in the world so unfair he refuses to acknowledge he is constantly changing it for the better. He needs to stand his ground in a sustainable way.
While Aziraphale needs to realize the current system won’t cut it. It’s cruel and uncaring, it’s following the supposed word and whim of a god who’s left the building. He honestly believes it just needs right people on top, but well, it had Gabriel who cared just for a little bit, and threw him away instantly. Heaven won’t cut it, and this is gonna burn him badly next season. But he’s still not there.
Anyway, I love good conflict, god bless this tragic clown mess, thanks for the gorgeous drama. Nice gays, sorry about depression.
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torgawl · 2 years
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slightly disappointed - just slightly - that they didn't include fischl in the windblume event because she would fit the legend/fairytale category of the charade so much?!
#how did they not remember the person that actually lives in one?#logically it would make sense okay 😂#i hope we get to see the other mondstadt characters even for a second at the end#jean barbara fischl kaeya diona and diluc the excluded ones ✌️#like i don't care about timmaeus and his crush sorry give me characters i care about (mona was so real for interrupting him yes queen <3)#okay sorry timmaeus i hope you succeed in romancing her 😔#i think you're a great addition to the synthesis thingie when i need to make materials the game wouldn't be the same without you 😔#on another note!!! i love when genshin's events or quests are like therapy sessions like yes thanks for teaching us about anxiety and#struggles with self identity and how sharing our problems with others isn't a burden and how being vulnerable will allow us to create#meaningful connections and relate to others around us that only through connection and being able to see other people we are able to#fight the feeling of alienation we had in the first place and gain a new found confidence!!! like yes. trauma holds us back and can#influence the way we interact with others around us and follow us for so much time but we can also thrive regardless!!!!#genshin lore is so good but also the way this game helps us find peace regarding so many things we all struggle with is beautiful methinks#a lot of the struggles the characters face in the game are related to the fantasy world their inserted to sure but they're also still#incredibly relatable to the most common person if we strip down that fantasy layer#i think it's about being seen and understood feeling less lonely and also seeing others through less of a 1st person lense about finding#beauty and significante in diversity#but anyways rant over#i'm having fun with windblume and i love events like this where we just get to revisit characters and see them have a good time with each#other!!! it's so comforting plus mondstadt looks so pretty
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novadreii · 2 years
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this is a such first-class whine from a lower-middle-class citizen, but hear me out. the covid era has been dogshit (precursor, not the point lol). it killed, (further) divided and frightened us. the final kick in the nuts is that we really don’t benefit from any of the Panaceas for Shit Life anymore. the puppet masters have tightened the purse strings and made everything unaffordable. and what IS left that is affordable is just...crap. shite, even. have y’all noticed how mediocre stuff like cheap junk food/takeout is now? most forms of media? the stuff meant to distract and soothe us average jobhavers from going bonkers in the hamster wheel.
6+ years ago, we all at least all knew a few cheap, bomb and reliable places to eat out once in a while. a treat. you could eat takeout on a friday night while picking a reasonably well produced and thought-provoking movie from the one major, well organized streaming service (that cut your tv bill to $7/month, wahoo!). you might even partake in some say, drugs/alcohol to get a little silly with it. maybe you were more of a dine-out person, and made a night of it with friends. you had a good time and didn’t have to forgo groceries that week to make up for it.
now, the food and tv is boldly served, expensive ass. you can’t afford drugs, a book is $50. hobbies take up precious time and energy. ANY service you need is slow and unresponsive. people are tired. like, this is not the depression talking! things are worse, more expensive sure, but why couldn’t they have at least remained the same QUALITEA? why skimp on materials and production?
and then it occurred to me. is it our fault? are the price skyrockets and decrease in the quality of goods separate issues, in fact? one a consequence of opportunistic greed, and the other simply that market forces have determined that we are willing to pay those increased prices for less? the corporation is always experimenting to see what it can get away with. cheaper materials, less concern for our safety, well being, entertainment and enrichment. if we buy them at a certain prices in certain numbers that fit their optimized projections, they sell it. simple as that. are we just accepting the capitalism we think we deserve? or did they just financially ream us so badly that we had no choice to settle for worse product?
#this post is brought to you by the revelation the thought of watching bridgerton gave me#this is the schlock being served nowadays#everything is soulless and laden with social justice in an insincere way#like here have your fucking diversity and representation slayyyyy and shut the fuck up audience!!!!!#but it's bad.#bad writing bad production#there's a lot less critique of The System but again when they have it it's superficial af#like i can't even distract myself by binging tv anymore that is sad#all that's left to do is pirate old stuff#comb the archives#sometimes i wonder if i'm just becoming an old coot but i'm not imagining things#things were significantly better a pretty short chunk of time ago#and the abrupt negative change in just the ability to have small everyday pleasures is giving me whiplash#if feels like a whine because they really make us feel like we barely deserve basic food health and shelter#but we fucking deserve to thrive and feel good too#we deserve a couple of controlled vices if we have to go to work and give up a huge chunk of our lives for them#i have a business degree but i am no economist market forces are so fucked to me#because i am a i would just give you the sandwich type person at heart#i have a lot of internalized capitalism probably but damn even if i was rich i wouldn't want people to struggle so hard#they can be rich and we can be content in our simpler lives they can both happen at the same time#why does it have to be this way????#should i watch bridgerton btw?
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yuveenti-blog · 2 months
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Astrology Observations 08/06/2024
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🌞The Light & Dark Side To You Based On Your Sun & Moon Sign ( The Sun is what we are consciously aware of can see clearly, it represents the most positive traits in us as well. The moon rules our subconscious and what we can’t see clearly, it represents our dark traits).🌕
Aries Sun: Aries looks straight into fear and still decides to go in. These individuals feel accomplished when they conquer what they fear. They are driven to feel life in all its intensity, they do not and will not settle for a mediocre life. They want nothing more than to be surrounded by confident, successful, and fully-lived people. They want to inspire others by their actions but they are the one to continually motivate those around them, their positivity creating momentum for others in their life. They truly do believe everyone is capable. They have been through a lot of rough experiences and have built so much internal strength that they can shrug off many things. They have a distinct laugh and are certainly funny themselves. They utilize their experiences as lessons so they have a lot of wisdom to share. These are people who feel uncomfortable lying and prefer honesty as it helps them feel authentic. They grew up feeling different in many ways so they had to build a lot of confidence around their difference and learned that standing out and being different is bad, so they can actually be a lot more comfortable with theirselves than others who may feel the need to conform. An Aries is proud of their uniqueness and thrive off of utilizing it when no one is on the same boat as them.
Taurus Sun: Taurus people make you feel like you can cuddle in your bed and be alright. They do not bring an overwhelming and intense energy to rooms. They are the chill people who can remain chill even when chaos begins. They exude “ Queen and King” energy. They are truly meant to be an example of how you can manifest what you want. Inspirational and responsible. They are incredibly methodical when dealing with their goals. They don’t have time for questions without answers. When they go after what they want they know what they are doing and the end results. They are the kind of people who enjoy slow living, but they aren’t cheap. They require quality in their lives so they will continue on until they get it. It can be difficult to find Taurus who aren’t ultimate manifestors. Most Taurus get what they want or close to it in this lifetime. They are very classy and well-mannered people who take care of others very well.
Gemini Sun: Gemini’s have a charm about them that draws you to them without speaking. They seem interesting from a distance. They at times exude energy similar to Leo. They walk with confidence as if others are watching and they stand in a way to invite others in. When they do speak they garner a lot of attention. A lot of people gather to laugh, listen, and debate. Gemini’s are the master networkers. They can upgrade their lifestyle with their ability to be amongst different crowds and capture their attention. Geminis are also great at persuading others, so they do great in jobs where sales is important. Gemini’s are the kind of people who can move to a different state and seem like they’re from there. They don’t struggle to pick-up and move on, they always can upgrade and they know this internally. That is why they seem scatterbrained because they are searching for what is going to improve their life the most. And with this skill they can always offer you an idea to improve yours. They are fast learners and bring great energy to wherever they go.
Cancer Sun: A Cancer’s intelligence lies in how they perceive. They have environmental intuition and absorb information from wherever they are. Their wisdom lies in what they feel and what they know through their intuition. They can be insightful. They have a lot of drive towards their goals and often have such a lovely aura that they get the support needed to succeed. Cancers are nurturers because their instinct is to support, love, and care. They take action when someone needs or wants their support. These people are kind and enduring, they can go through a lot and still give.
Leo Sun: Leo’s like the Sun need to shine. Whatever they start with in life they want to maximize. Leo’s don’t operate small-minded, like Aquarius their goals are on a wide-scale which is why a lot of celebrities are Leo. They want to reach the masses. They strive to reach the top and will not allow themselves to be devalued. Leo’s have the self-respect other signs desire. This is innate to them. They preserve their selves and are careful who they let in to their life. These are very affectionate individuals and they radiate warmth. They have a confidence that isn’t based on circumstances, it’s a deep well of knowing whoever they are, they are great or will be great one day. Very loyal people that take friendship serious as well. They have a personality that people are drawn to. They can brighten other people’s days.
Virgo Sun: A Virgo is one of the greatest assets in any environment. They are solution oriented, nurturing, orderly, and modest. They know how to help because they can see issues easier than others and they have a pragmatic mind to create solutions. You can count them on a Virgo to extend their grace to others in times of need. They are realistic and it helps to guide them in their life because they don’t have grand ideals. Their ideals are very real and tangible so they know what steps to take to get what they want. A Virgo lives a life that allows them to not be distracted or influenced in negative directions. They can catch themselves faster than others and their minds will have them improving without putting in the effort others have to. They are intelligent people whose intelligence is deep and analytical. They convey their knowledge in digestible form so they often are relied on.
Libra Sun: Libra’s want the best for everyone. They think everyone deserves to live a beautiful life and they feel sensitive towards the downtrodden or the unfortunate. They get happy for others happiness and they want to show support to others all the time. They can be very charming and alluring because they always want to make others feel seen and heard. They can take your side just so that you feel understood. They like to go out, enjoy themselves and are into the aesthetics and vibes of places so they know where to bring their friends. These are peaceful people with hippie souls. They have an eye for beauty in everything from clothes, shoes, furniture, homes, and cars.
Scorpio Sun: Scorpio’s always fascinate other people. This is due to their complex nature. They have very chill demeanor’s, they can exude confidence without doing anything. A lot of times a Scorpio is a great person inside and out. They are chill because they do not want to overwhelm anyone with their internal worlds. At heart they are very sensitive, passionate, loyal, and loving. They do not give up on much of anything because they do not change their minds once they set out on something. They have a lot of drive and take action when needed. They see into other people’s soul, yet they do not want to hurt others. They respect others need for privacy just as they want theirs respected. They do not jump to conclusions. They aim to be clear and accurate which means that when a conclusion is made it has proper assessment.
Sagittarius Sun: A Sagittarius is concerned with joy. They aim to enjoy their lives and the path that allows them that they will follow. They are honest because they seek truth above all else. They connect to others from a very human disposition which makes others drawn to them for their authenticity. They have a sense of freedom most do not have. They understand freely speaking, freely thinking, and freely doing. While others feel restrained, a Sagittarius feels courageous and ready to explore. A Sagittarius is in a constant state of expansion and will always aim to improve theirselves and lives. People are drawn to them because their energy pulls others in and their smile makes others feel comfortable in their presence.
Capricorn Sun: Capricorns are the true definition of move in silence. These are the quiet millionaires. These are the people who have what others want, but no one understands how. It is not for others to know because they know to get what they want they have to put in hard work. They take life seriously in the sense that they don’t give themselves the space to feel comfortable without having the things they truly desire. That means these are responsible people who do not prioritize play over what needs to be done. These are excellent workers as they know that a job must and has to be done in a certain way to keep things running smoothly. They are realistic which grants them the ability to see things clearer than others as there is no fog to sift through. When they walk around they exude a confidence that makes you feel that they are powerful. When they open their mouths to talk, people can’t help but to pay attention. They don’t move on whim, they are intentional when they decide to move and have assessed all the avenues before deciding on the one ahead of them. They embrace the taboo, odd and unconventional ways of life and that gives them access to an entire different caliber than most which can make them even more understanding of how humans functions in this world. Incredibly smart and very calm people.
Pisces Sun: Pisces are not fully human because apart of who they are was and is left in the spiritual realm. Which is why oftentimes they do better living amongst people who understand and prioritize spirituality and the creative side of life. They are true unconditional lovers who bare their flesh to connect with others intimately and transcend to different realms. They are wise souls who have experienced much and continue to have access to insights intuitively. They are very open and receptive and can see the world in ways other people can’t. They have a healing energy that when coming into other lives often brings happiness and luck. They are highly compassionate and bring sensitivity to the brashness of the world.
Dark Side Based on Moon Sign:
Aries Moon: These people are very dark when they become dark. Their passion turns into pure anger, bitterness, and hatred. Their courage turns into destructive recklessness. Their honesty turns into manipulation and their positivity turns into complete negativity. They have a switch and when it is flipped it can bring out the worst in everyone around them. Their playful nature turns into violence and they can easily snap and physically harm someone just as quickly as they can do with their mouth. Their desire to be strong and powerful turns into a very jealous disposition and when they can’t take it anymore they seek to dominate those they feel are more powerful than them. Just as fast as they can motivate you, they can cut you so deep with their words that you’ll lose so much of your confidence in that one moment.
Taurus Moon: These people can abhor hard-work and fall into complete laziness. They can get so comfortable they don’t want to move and can convince themselves that they are fine when they aren’t. They will pin all the work they do not want to do on others around them and become increasingly demanding by the day. They will treat people like they are their assistant. They will put so much effort into their desires and give others desires the bare minimum. They do not take advice but they enjoy letting people think they care. Sometimes this is just their way of striking up a conversation with others ( pretending to care). They can play cordial and genuinely do not like you. They will talk behind your back and smile and shake hands in your face. When they begin to think they are succeeding they will easily fall into jealousy which can make them bitter. They are incredibly superficial especially about looks. They may act like they care about your heart, but they get absorbed in the physical attractiveness of others. They try to buy/spend their way out of depression and when it doesn’t work, falls harder into depression.
Gemini Moon: Lost souls who often times project a lot. They put high expectations on others that they cannot live up to themselves. They seek to cover up their confusion with knowledge. They have a restlessness that can make them anxious individuals and they need constant stimulation like a child. They struggle to deal with their own minds especially without other people around them. This is also the reason they become moody and irritated easily which can lead to harsh and hurtful words. They can hurt others and not understand the repercussions to their actions. When you need these people emotionally they are cold and puzzled. They can talk too much just for the sake of hearing their own selves.
Cancer Moon: These people are perpetual victims who will justify their worst behavior by talking about someone else. They may have so many emotions bursting out of them at once and then when someone else is emotional they become cold and dry. They save all their compassion for theirselves and don’t leave any for other people. The constant mood changes can make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells. They can demand a lot from others and turn resentful when they don’t get what they want. They can fall into laziness easily just seeking and wanting comfort to the point they begin to hurt theirselves. They eat away their pain, go through many emotional breakdowns, and pity themselves hoping someone pulls them out of their own demise.
Leo Moon: These people are like children who need attention and validation all the time. Their closeness to you is contingent upon how great you are at making them feel special, loved, and adorned. You must make them feel good or they will not want you around. They don’t crave the truth because lies are comforting to their ego’s. They can be pointless to give advice to as they are fixed and set in their ways and won’t budge for others. They feel like they are better than other people when they have more, do more, or are successful. They will lie and manipulate like no other leaving you confused and gaslit. They will care more about how they appear than who they are on the inside so often times they are completely chaotic internally. Extremely dramatic people who want to be the boss, on top, or above you and if they cannot be that they will run away. They can use people and discard them when they feel good again.
Virgo Moon: These people don’t realize how annoying they become which is what makes them worst, they stick around even once people are annoyed with them. They complain to complain. Which leaves you feeling increasingly negative after your interactions with them. They have a distorted perception of what is real and isn’t, oftentimes they equate everything negative and boring to real. They don’t know how to mind their business. They are too concerned with what others think and that makes them worry others with their worries. They act like robots when other people are emotional. They lose their minds over small details. They have weird habits and they don’t know how they feel so they make-up and lie about their feelings.
Libra Moon: These people drag others down because they don’t know what they want. They fluctuate frequently and expect others to deal with this inconsistency. They cannot cope with their emotions without looking to a drug, alcohol, and s*x. They want to be seen as angels, while playing like the devil. They’re chronic gossipers who don’t have the balls to be real to people. They fall for anyone who gives them validation and are easily manipulated. When not feeling well they become whiny babies. Their main interest is self-interest they just need others for the validation.
Scorpio Moon: These people are insane but pretend they’re chill. Their nature is obsessive so they do not truly know what chill is. When they’re quiet they are collecting information and making assessments of others. These are the kind of people who scheme on others. They do not admit to being wrong. They will put them selves around people just so they can put the blame on others. It is always them being done wrong even if they’re the one scheming behind others backs. They become bitter easily. They are very moody and their light and beauty disappears when they become depressed. They wallow in their sadness. They are controlling, power hungry, jealous, and manipulative. They have great liars and want to know everyone else’s secrets while hiding theirs.
Sagittarius Moon: These people are very forceful bullies who need weaker people around them to feel strong and capable. They don’t have any filter so they go about their lives in chaos. They are impatient with others but want others to wait so long for them. They get annoyed with others quickly. Constantly moving makes them feel productive even if they need to go to sleep and take care of theirselves. They’re self-absorbed into their own lives and can forget about people quickly. They have very bad mouths but are sensitive to what other people say. They have grandiose ideas with no follow through. They are very contradicting people who pick fights.
Capricorn Moon: These people are impossible to please. They act more humble than they actually are. They judge every little thing that doesn’t live up to their standards. They don’t even want to deal with their emotions so when they feel upset with others they don’t talk about it and form grudges. You are either good or bad to them and it’s very easy for you to become bad. They do not mind hurting other people’s feelings since they don’t deal with their emotions enough to care. They think they are better than others and are selective in who they get close to. They need to either use you, benefit from you, or look better having you in their lives. They look down on people with less than them. They want to have a lot of authority so they do not care for others opinions or others telling them what to do. They can take theirselves too serious and be slow to do things for others.
Aquarius Moon: These people think they are superior to others even when they simply are strange. They are fixated on their grandiose ideas and become delusional. When you try to open their mind they become stubborn and condescending. They want others to blindly agree with them. They act like emotions do not exist for them because they don’t know how to feel their emotions without intellectualizing them. They can be assholes towards other people. They are unpredictable and will do and say things that will bring shock and surprise or complete chaos. They don’t know what’s truly good for them, they just pretend to. These people without space can be exhausting and annoying.
Pisces Moon: These people think they are smarter than they truly are. They believe in good things happening for them so they follow things blindly until it turns bad for them. When they’re around shitty and terrible people they become them. These individuals easily end up on drugs, in jail, homeless, and in the streets. They do not know how to take accountability or responsibility. Once they become emotional they can throw tantrums, wallow in pity, and brood for weeks, months, and years. They’re not dependable since their heads are in the clouds. They can be incredibly lazy, just floating by in life. They’re followers and at times they can completely neglect reality.
Who You Attract/What You Are Attracted To Based On Rising Sign ( Ascendant)
Aries Rising: Gemini, Leo, Libra, Scorpio, Pisces
Taurus Rising: Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aries
Cancer Rising: Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn, Aquarius, Gemini
Leo Rising: Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Pisces, Cancer
Virgo Rising: Scorpio, Capricorn, Pisces, Aries, Leo
Libra Rising: Sagittarius, Aquarius, Aries, Taurus, Virgo
Scorpio Rising: Capricorn, Taurus, Gemini, Libra
Sagittarius Rising: Aquarius, Aries, Gemini, Cancer, Scorpio
Capricorn Rising: Pisces, Taurus, Cancer, Leo, Sagittarius
Aquarius Rising: Aries, Gemini, Leo, Virgo, Capricorn
Pisces Rising: Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Libra, Aquarius
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pookiesatoru · 1 year
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HAND HOLDING WITH THE GENSHIN MEN
contains : fem!reader, smut (yeah this is smutty not soft sry not sry <3 lmaooo), mentions of cervix fucking, size kink, tummy bulges, breeding / impregnation kink, creampies woohoo, oooh the praise in this has me going a lil insane tbh, some degradation too, lots of oral, fingering, soft doms *sniffles* my weakness. includes scenarios for zhongli, kaeya, dain, tighnari, xiao and childe. this is not proof read at all, please ignore any mistakes i will not be fixing them cause i'm lazy :D
i thought about this scenario with xiao and then i spiralled from there. sorry not sorry i needed to get this out of my system actually... i am so unwell bye. likes / reblogs are appreciated and feedback is always welcomed <3 minors dni !!
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zhongli : oh he is so big. listen, everythingggggggg about him is big okay, he's literally a dragon like? his hands? big. height? bIG. cock(s)? BIIIIG and he thrives off being big. sinks his cock into you while being in a half dragon form just because his dick is bigger than his human form. golden horns on top of his head, the colour of his skin changing from his normal pale one to somewhat mixed. hues of black, orange, yellow and golden the further you travel down his body. his hands and fingers are slightly longer in this form. nails coloured black, almost resembling claws. he enjoys this form because it lets him keep his human-ness but it also embraces his past. his favourite form when you two get intimate because he wants to see your cunt struggle to take him. "there you go darling, takin' me in so well." he'd whisper as his tip pushes past your entrance, thumb rubbing against your clit. "loosen up for me, that's it." as your cunt begins to flutter around himjdhfhf aaaaa don't even get me started on the bulge he'd make in your tummy :( it's inevitable. he's just so damn big.
favourite position is you on your back, couple of pillows under your body and him holding your waist to raise your lower half off the bed, claws digging into the flesh of your waist as your cunt clenches around his cock. it's only when he's bottomed out and you're bucking your hips to signal him to move that he'd lace his fingers with yours. pins them above your head. have i mentioned zhongli's big? he's so big that he only really requires one hand to have both your wrists in his hold. daddy zhongli is so strong too, doesn't matter how much you move or thrash around when he fucks you, trying to get your wrists out of his hold so you can just touch him, he doesn't budge. waits for you to really beg, tears in your eyes as you sob out "please, please, please" will he soften up. intertwines his fingers with yours as he rocks his hips slower, but sooo deep. leans over to place a kiss to the top of your head while you thank him for letting go, and he does that every time when you two hold hands :( he's so <3 mm yeah best daddy me thinks.
kaeya : this man,, lord kayea is a wild card in my very humble opinion. he's a tease, we all know this. but i think sex to him is so intimate, especially when it's with someone he would give his heart to on a silver platter. he's like the perfect mix of tease and praise and degradation and somehow giving you what you need all at the same time? idk, just listen okay. the word tease might as well just be kaeya's middle name, he's just that good at it. he likes to hear you beg, plays dumb too. "hmm? my sweet little thing, you're so quiet. what did you say, i'm afraid i missed it." all the while he is knuckle deep into your cunt, fingers curling up juuuust right so they nudge your spot. but only just. he knows your body so well it's almost annoying. the curl of his fingers isn't enough to give you proper satisfaction but it is enough to have you crave for more. enough to make you gasp and buck your hips to try and get the satisfaction you need. "ah ah ah, don't be like that. i can't reward you if you're being a needy slut for me darling. use your words." starts withdrawing his fingers and ultimately you need to grab a hold of his wrist and b e g for him not to do that, beg for his touch. it makes his head go a little dizzy if i'm being honest. "there you go. that wasn't so hard now, was it?" and he gives you what you've been needing :( slender, pretty fingers pushing deeper into you till he physically can't anymore. letting them curl against your spongy spot and making you cum with a cry of his name liiike he thrives off teasing you and giving you what you want.
puts his dirty fingers in your mouth while he kisses your stomach, slowly kissing his way up your body (he is a romantic man after all) and makes sure to give your tits a squeeze too. grabs a hold of your chin to make you look at him as you let go of his fingers with a little pop and presses his lips to yours. it's a little messy, slippery and sloppy but you can feel how in love he is with you. spreads your thighs apart so he can press his hard on against your cunt while you kiss, tangles his fingers with yours while he ruts against your centre like he has all the time in the world :(( he takes it sooo slow, grinding against your cunt, the fabric of his boxers rubbing your clit so nicely, his lips against yours, giving your hands a little squeeze as you fiddle around with the elastic on his boxers. he just holds his body weight up with one hand, the other still tangled up with your fingers as you pull down the material just enough to have his cock out and while he fills you up nicely, he just tightens his hold on your hand cause you feel so tight around him every damn time <33
dainsleif : starting this off by saying he is SO touch starved. honorary member of the touched starved crew. he still gets so shy when he sees you naked in front of him no matter how long it's been. dain might look rough and tough on the outside, but he is so soft for you. he adores kisses your body. your lips? he kiss. your cheek? he kiss. top of your head or your nose? he kiss. inside of your wrist where he can get a slight wiff of your perfume? he kiss. but his favourite you may ask? his favourite type (aside from your lips) of kiss is when you're laid out on the bed. where he's between your legs and he's lifting your shirt off, placing kisses along your tummy, the valley of your breasts, then a gentle kiss underneath your earlobe before he's tossing your shirt to the side and making his way down your body again. this time, he places kisses to both your ankles once your pants are off, kissing up both your legs and your thighs. the last kiss he places is to your clit before his thumb presses against your nub, gentle circular motions that already have you seeing stars. dain rests his head against your thigh as he teases and rubs your clit over and over, watching how your hole clenches around nothing.
"always so pretty for me, aren't you?" another soft kiss to your upper thighs that have you wanting to shut your legs at how sensitive you feel. "keep 'em open, that's it. there you go." he'd say, your trembling thighs spreading once again. he's not the best with words of affection but he'll be damned if he doesn't praise you, let you know how pretty you are. how good you are for him. and when your hands clutch his hair and the bedsheets the closer you get to your orgasm, he'd bring the one that was holding the bedsheets closer to his mouth – dain places a kiss to your wrist, to the tips of your fingers before he slides his fingers against it and lets you grip it. he enjoys holding your hand so much while he does this, i cannot stress that enough. he likes it when you feel real. and it's only then, will he place his mouth on your cunt, letting his tongue tease your folds and dipping into your hole to really get a taste of you. feeling a sense of pride when you gasp and whimper out his name, tightening your hold on his hand as the other one still in his hair, buries his face deeper into your pussy.
tighnari : furry king he's so cute, sighs. like kaeya, sex for him is very very intimate with someone he loves. it's not about getting off, it's more so about the gentle touches, the praises that come from both your lips and his, it's about the way you two latch onto each other when you make love and he will die on that hill. yes every now and then, his animalistic urges take over and it is about a quick fuck but more often than not, he likes to explore your body. he loves it when you're straddling him. his favourite thing to do is feel you up while the both of you kiss. even though tighnari takes it slow, his movements almost feel rushed, desperate to have your clothes off. but it's the gentle kind of desperate, you know? where he wants you to be naked so he can appreciate every dip and every curve on your body without any flimsy layers of clothing in the way. hearts in his eyes even though it's the nth time he's seen you naked. you're wearing nothing, seated on his lap while his eyes dart all over your body, never really able to linger on one part for too long. admires how out of breath you are just from a make-out, lips slightly swollen and pinker than usual. continues to place kisses against your jawline to your neck as his hands grope your hips and thighs, eventually one hand inching closer and closer to your heat, a soft sigh escaping your lips as you feel the pad of his thumb finally brush against your clit. "feels good?" he'd mumble against your skin, ears twitching with excitement every time you let out more content noises followed by a soft "yes."
tighnari's good with his fingers, great in fact. he pays attention to your body, listening to every noise and taking mental note of how your body squirms in his hold as he touches you – he's so good that your hands don't really know where they should go. sometimes digging into the skin of his shoulders or his biceps. sometimes when he hasn't riled you up to where the only replies he wets are broken whimpers, they're in tighnari's hair, patting just behind his ears which has him rutting his hips against you, or sometimes they're just tangled in his locks tightly as you need to feel something to ground you. but tighari's favourite is when you plead him for his hand. the little taps against his bicep or wrist make his heart melt, followed by the "hold me, please." it almost makes the animal in him want to manhandle you, toss you on the bed and pin you there while his cock is hitting your cervix and you can't do anything but lay there and just take it. but the rational part of him tells him no. the rational part of him brings your hand to his lips, places a kiss to each and every one of your knuckles before lacing his fingers with yours, all while his other hand is buried knuckle deep in your cunt and being soaked with your juices.
xiao : he is very very very desperate with how he holds your hands. it's more so to remind himself that you're there with him, that you're real. he's a very passionate lover, how could he not be after eons and eons of thinking he's alone? of eons and eons of being alone. he's also a honorary member of the touched starved crew god he is so DJKFDHJGKD i'm so in love w him <333 he just wants to please you okay? like. all the time. every day. whenever you ask him or hint at it, he's ready to give you anything you want. he would do aaaaaanything for you to be honest. he's not very good with words, he knows he's terrible with words. but what he lacks vocally, he makes up for it with his actions instead. slow, but deliberate. almost like he's forgotten all those little stripes and freckles on your skin even though he's been memorising every dip and every mark whenever you two get intimate. gentle, barely there touches while he takes your clothes off, ghosts his fingertips over your pussy and breasts at first. likes it when you inhale sharply but he does give in. he's not much of a tease like kaeya is, gives in so quick. "'m gettin' there. just wait." he'd grumble, but there's no bite behind it all all. places a kiss to your hip bone before he spreads your legs and laps your cunt like a starved man. he's so good with his tongue, i can't stress that enough. another man who makes sure you've came on his tongue or fingers before he thinks about fucking you. the thing about xiao is, he gets pussy drunk so quick, and so very easily. the second he hears you let out a sigh of satisfaction after his mouth is on you, he's gone.
he's soo gone. xiao is an adepti, he's much stronger than humans. it's super easy for him to hold your body down with his hands, whether they be on you waists or even hooked around your thighs, he's not moving his mouth off you until he feels your hole clenching and gushing. or unless you're trying to pry his head off cause you "wan' be filled, please xiao!" flips you onto your back and makes sure your face is pressed into the mattress and your ass is up ohh my goddjghf yeah,, fucks you like that actually, he's pussy drunk. let him bury his cock in your cunt any way he wants plssss. he may not be long, but fuck is he thick. makes you clench the bedsheets while your noises are muffled out by the bed but :( xiao needs to hear you – tugs your back flush against his chest, makes his cock go even deeper in you that you're going dizzy and you're even more dizzier when you feel his fingers on your clit aaaa. firm believer xiao uses one hand too rub your clit while the other turns your head towards him so he can kiss you :(( he loves kissing you so much when you're fucking, tries to kiss you every time before you cum on his cock. it's so romantic for him. feels you cum around his cock and he's trying to hold back a groan but but but that's when he moves his hand that was on your clit to hold yours :( still kissing you too till he orgasms and spills his cum deeep in you and makes out with you for a couple of minutes. doesn't really care how sloppy it is, he just likes kissing you while you hold hands like that :((
childe : listen... childe is actually so romantic (we'll get there soon) i dunno about you. hand holding is his middle name, it's true i've seen the birth certificate. a romantic, mean perv is the best way to describe him. such a tease too. he won't give you what you need till he sees tears in your eyes or you actually start crying. he's kinda mean about it too. gets you sooo close to an orgasm only to just rip it away. "nawww, you cryin sweets?" and proceeds to lick your tears away. "don't cry, you pretty thing. gonna give you what you need, 'kay? just lay back f'me. there you go." smiles darkly when you listen to him again and lay your body flat against the bed again while shaking. and he just keeps doing that until you're full blow sobbing. "aj– ha– 'jax! please.. can' take it a'more... need to c-cum please." and watches you grip his wrists while you cry. it sets him off. he loves that you can get so pathetic for him :( some days when he's made you cry by not letting you cum, his favourite this is having you on top. just to add a little bit more humiliation into the mix. lays down first and gets all comfy without telling you what he's doing and just pats his lap. "not gonna get over here? thought you wanted to cum." has you scrambling over and once you're straddling him he'd put his hands on your thighs and just stroke them since they're shaking so much. but gives them a little slap, just enough for there to be a sound but not enough to hurt when he feels you try to lift your hips to take his cock in "relax baby. didn't i say i'm gonna give you what you need?" hhhh and when your thighs have calmed down and he's made your lips all swollen from kissing you so much will he lift your hips for you, letting you guide his cock into your hole and gives you time to get used to the stretch when he's bottomed out.
while you're taking your time and breathing whilst trying to hold back the orgasm that's approaching once being filled up, he'd let his fingertips trail up your arm, hand cupping the side of your face and rubbing his thumb along your lash line to gather the tears that haven't fallen yet and makes you suck the saltiness away from his thumb... and that makes his cock twitch in you. doesn't let you move though, wants to see how ruined you look before he's even fucked you right. and once he's admired you enough he'd go "c'mere sweets." and proceeds to hold out his hand for you. coos at how your hand is sooo tiny in his though. and he lets his other arm wrap your lower back, essentially he has you resting your head against his tits while you two hold hands. it's gentle, a contrast to how he was being mean to you earlier. as you grind on his cock and the little tufts of hair on his lower tummy make you cum around his cock, he brings your intertwined hands to his mouth and places a kiss to the back of your hand and bucks his hips up into your pussy to get to his high. but the thing is, once ajax feels soft like this, he'd just keep you above him, kiss you and keep holding your hands till he's hard again and fuck you till your lower halves are all messy and sticky.
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hypnos333 · 8 months
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Slowed to Anger
Alastor x reader
Synopsis: You loved the hotel and yet you risked your life for it
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“Omg! Alaster I can’t believe you’re doing this and it looks so nice, I can’t wait to decorate” You gushed looking everywhere around the hotel making him chuckle.
“I’m glad you find this Journey to find this exciting my dear, I wish I could say the same but i’m stuck on a leash” Alaster sigh still smiling but with a broken one. You wrap your arms around his neck forcing him to wrap his around your waist.
“We’ll break this deal so we can go back to living happily together” You said kissing his temple as he closed his eyes as your kisses. “We have been married for decades it’s nothing we can’t handle My love” You continued saying.
Little did you know this was gonna be very different from those decades.
A war broke out between heaven and hell and you were against Lute and keep in mind you weren’t the best in combat nor fighting but you did have powers and you were gonna try your best to survive for Alastor.
You are a doe it made you fast but you felt like a prey everywhere and every time.
You created multiple shadows to corner Lute making her struggle until she actually stabbed you making clueless before looking down at your heart.
“Oh fucking hell” You whispered until your eyes went wide realizing what’s happening. You held onto the sword before Lute pulled it out of you before this time stabbing you in the stomach making you instantly let the life leave from inside of you.
Lute was about to check your pulse until a shadow elopes you making you disappear within an instant.
“M-My dear?” He asked hesitantly in horror seeing you gone and dead. He quickly held you into his arms rocking back in forth trying to heal you he couldn’t because he was trapped.
“No, No No No No NO NONONONONO” He yells out his smile vanished as tears leaked down his face and onto your body.
“This place reeks of death, there's a chill in the air
And I barely escaped being killed by a hair
My wife risked her life just to see the hotel thrive
"Great Alastor, altruist, died for his friends while wife takes the fall"
Sorry to disappoint, that is not where this ends
I'm hungry for freedom like never before
The constraints of my deal surely have a backdoor
Once I figure out how to unclip my wings
Guess who will be pulling all the strings?” He sang before hiding your body somewhere safe to keep so when he gets your soul, you can come back home to him just like you wanted to do.
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enbycrip · 1 year
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One common experience of disability all across the board - relating to everything from learning/intellectual disability to neurodiversity to physical impairment to chronic illness - is the way that “one little thing” can make everything - work performance, school performance, ability to communicate etc - go right off the rails and collapse.
This is an issue I frequently see abled doctors, therapists, psychologists, teachers, social workers etc speaking about in terms of “poor flexibility”, “need to teach resilience” etc etc, focusing on this as an issue *with the disabled person.*
And that illustrates absolutely *perfectly* why a) disabled people are the experts in disability, not abled “specialists”, and b) why the social model of disability *needs* to be taught and centred.
The issue in such circumstances is not some sort of “innate preference for rigidity” (you may laugh, but that’s a phrase I sadly *still* see used about autistic folks far too often) or even “innate widespread lack of capacity” in the disabled person. It is a symptom of a system - in this case, a disabled person’s *life* - that is under immense strain and operating without spare capacity available to be used to respond to unforeseen circumstances.
Disabled people are, almost universally, *master* adapters. Incredibly adept at adaptive thought; incredibly resilient and incredibly dogged. We are that way because we *need to be* to survive in a world that is incredibly ill-adapted for our needs. The reason we are *perceived* as “inflexible”, “rigid”, “fragile”, “incapable” etc etc is because we are, very very frequently, *already* operating at the limits of our capacity just to survive in a world that is incredibly hostile to our needs and to our existence.
The medical model of disability judges all people to exist in the same world under the same circumstances, and thus judges the disabled person to be “lacking” when we struggle. Thus the onus is put on *us* to “correct” this “lack”. “You need to build resilience”.
It is the exact same mindset that blames people living in poverty for their lack of available resources, and suggests “budgeting classes” or “stopping spending money on avocado toast and Netflix” instead of recognising the need to raise wages to liveable levels in low-paid work and provide genuinely affordable housing. Focusing on, and *blaming*, the individual rather than recognising the systemic injustice and the desperate need for systemic change.
“Resilience” as long-term quality more or less means “having the resources to put into dealing with unexpected difficulty while still maintaining other functions.” Whether those resources are time, energy, money, family or community support - if a person does not have access to enough of them, the system - in this case, their life - *will* become overstretched, and they *will* fail on one, or, very often, on multiple points.
That does not represent a personal or moral failure. It represents having access to insufficient resources to meet needs. It is genuinely that simple. And that is what needs to be addressed for disabled people to live and thrive.
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woso-soso · 3 months
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Missing Puzzle Piece Pt.1
Mapi Leon x Reader x Ingrid Engen
Summary: Mapi and you have been together for years, what will happen when a new person makes an appearance in your lives.
Word Count: 3,639
Part 2
Any time words are Italicized it indicates another language being spoken, in the case of this story it will indicate Spanish is spoken.
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You’d known María for years, having met when you were barely big enough to ride the fair rides that came into town every year. Meeting at a volleyball camp held at your town's community center, and while María thrived at it you found yourself cowering in the back. Shrinking further into yourself as you struggled to integrate into the game, finding yourself more so on the end of flying balls. Balls you weren't prepared to hit back, leading to more than one frustrated groan from the team you had been forced onto. By the time lunch had come around you were left to sit alone at one of the tables set up, that was until a wild haired girl came bounding over. A smile wide across her face as she sets her lunch down at the seat across from you. You hadn’t caught her name at introductions, having been more focused on not puking on your shoes than learning anyone's names.
“I’m María,” she said, her mouth full of food. “But everyone except my mama calls me Mapi.” 
You stare at the strange girl in front of you, her arms covered in doodles. Many of them being extremely detailed, maybe the two of you would have something to talk about after all. “I’m Y/N,” you whisper hoping the much louder girl will be able to hear you. 
“So why are you here Y/N, I mean not to be rude but like you seem to hate it,” Mapi remarks not looking up from the food in front of her as she continues to shovel it into her mouth at a speed that was honestly impressive. 
“My papa, he got the dates mixed up when registering. I was supposed to be at the art camp next week but now I’m stuck here instead.” You answer somberly. Your papa was doing his best, becoming a single parent suddenly hadn’t been the plan and the two of you took it in stride together. Even when he did mess up, at least he was trying. 
“So you like art,” Mapi’s interest piques as she finally slows down to look up at you. You nod softly as you pick at the simple sandwich in front of you. Something you had thrown together that morning because your papa had forgotten to pack lunch the night before. “What do you like to do?”
“Well, I like drawing. My papa just got me a ton of new pencils to try. But I also really like taking pictures. I have this film camera at home, papa says when it's full we can send it off to get them developed. Apparently it's a long process.” The camera had been something your therapist had suggested, she thought it would benefit your dad to see what piques your interest. Helping get inside your mind since getting you to talk was a challenge. “Do you like drawing,” you inquire hesitantly, looking again at the intricate doodles that covered Mapi’s arms. 
“I love drawing, my mama says I get ink everywhere but I like drawing on my arms. At least then I get to see them all the time.” Mapi’s answer intrigues you. You could see the cap of a ballpoint pen stick out the top of her shirt having been clipped inside to attempt to conceal it. 
“I like that,” you state, a soft smile crossing your face as you look Mapi in the eyes. Her own large smile somehow getting larger. 
“Come here,” Mapi says suddenly, “would you like some drawings of your own.” You nod cautiously, moving around the table to sit next to the taller girl. Wiping her hands on her shorts before grabbing the ballpoint pen. “Here, stretch out your arm,” her hand gently takes your forearm, extending it across the table so it lays flat palm up. The pen tickles, but quickly you grow used to it. Mapi works slowly, making small marks across your arm as you relax into the feeling. 
The rest of the day is less anxiety-inducing as you switch over to the same team as Mapi, her presence not only calming but protective as you were able to hide behind her. Avoiding any more unwanted contact with volleyballs. When your papa comes to get you you can see him eyeing the ink marks across your skin, a relieved smile crossing his face as he watches you wave to Mapi her matching ink marks clear on her skin. 
“So did you make a friend today?” He questions cautiously. 
“I think I did papa,” a bright smile appearing on your face for the first time in a long time. 
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“You got in!,” Mapi shouts gleefully, her arms wrapping around your body. The letter grasped tightly in your hand as happy tears trail down your cheeks. 
After meeting Mapi the two of you quickly became tightly bonded. Spending many evenings camped out in each other's bedrooms exploring different art mediums, a football game usually playing in the background as you talked softly. Mapi had always encouraged your photography, she insisted that while you were one for few words your photos always told a story. It was because of her that you got up the courage to apply to art school, the same art school Mapi had gotten into and while she chose to focus on football and not attend you knew it was still the best place for you. 
“I did it, I can’t believe I did it,” you mumble into her shoulder. Your tears leaving a damp spot on her shoulder. 
“I knew you could do it, your mama would be so proud,” Mapi whispers softly, her hand stroking your hair. A new wave of tears starting at the thought of your mama. She had been gone for so long yet it felt like just yesterday she had been showing you her own camera, a camera locked up safely in the attic. 
You pull away from Mapi’s warm embrace slowly, your arms staying connected around her neck. Your stomach twisting as you stare into her eyes, you knew you had feelings for her. It would almost be weirder if you didn’t, the two of you had been inseparable since you were small. You had been there for her through hundreds of football games where she dominated over the boys and she had been there for you while you displayed your photographs at various school events. She knew you front and back, like a book she had read a million times and you knew her the same. Before you can even think about what you're doing you lean in, Mapi making no move to pull away as your lips connect. 
Mapis lips are slightly chapped, yet taste like strawberry as if she had just applied chapstick. Her arms tighten around you, pulling you in closer as the kiss becomes more frantic. The pent up attraction between the two of you coming out full force. The sound of your front door closing being the only thing to snap the two of you apart. Your face most certainly flushed bright red as you stare at the carpeted floor under your feet. 
“I’m sorry,” you breathe, quickly wiping your face clean of any chapstick. The strawberry scent lingering. 
“Why?” Mapi asks quietly, leaning back on your bed. Watching you as your brain races a mile a minute. 
“I shouldn’t have just jumped you like that, I just… I assumed things and I’m sure they aren’t correct,” your voice cracks as you try to keep from crying. Embarrassment is clear on your face with your blazing red cheeks. 
“How do you know,” Mapi asks. 
“How do I know? Because come on Mapi look at you and look at me, it's silly to think we could be anything more than friends.” You mumble.
“Well firstly, best friends. Secondly, what do you mean look at you? You are the most amazing person I know, I’m honored you like me that way. I’ve liked you for a long time now, I just never had the courage to say anything.” The two of you sit in silence for a moment, Mapi’s words hanging in the air. 
“Really?” You whisper, turning to look at her. 
“Really,” Mapi says, her hand taking yours. 
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The two of you are practically inseparable after that, wherever Mapi goes you are sure to follow. For years you worked at small photography studios, focusing on simple family portraits, weddings, and other parties. But by chance there was a day you got asked at the last minute to photograph Atlético Madrid's game against Real Sociedad. Atlético’s regular photographer had fallen ill and of course Mapi took this as a chance to throw your name out there. Sure some of her teammates were aware of your relationship but that didn’t seem to be a hindrance as you trekked out to the sidelines of the pitch, camera and monopod in hand. The game goes well, except for the occasional stray ball you stay safely tucked away capturing the high emotions of the game. 
“Did you get my good side,” Mapi jokes as she approaches, her cheeks flushed from having just finished a full ninety minute game. 
“Now when did you develop a bad side?” Your eyebrows raise in question as you continue to pack up your gear, preparing for a long night at home editing.
“Just checking, just checking” Mapi smirks, hands raised in surrender as she turns to take off back towards her teammates. 
While that night is long. You curled up on the couch as Mapi’s head rests in your lap, her soft snores reminding you how late it was, your hand gently combing through her hair as you edit the lot of photos you had taken. Only finishing as the sun begins to rise, a nagging headache forming behind your eyes as you close your laptop. 
“Come on love, let's go sleep properly,” you grunt as you nudge Mapi off your lap. 
“What time is it?” Mapi groans as you drag her to her feet. Her eyes barely opening enough to see her surroundings. 
“It's either very late or very early, let's not think about it.” You say as you push her into bed, joining her on the other side. Burying yourself under the covers, hoping for at least some restful sleep. 
What you hadn’t expected to come from the game was a permanent job offer from Atlético. They insisted they needed a photography assistant and that if you wanted it you were more than welcome to have it. It wasn’t something you even need to consider, quickly accepting the offer on the table. In the three years you were with Atlético you learned as much as you could, following the lead photographer like a shadow. Getting to know the coaches and players, learning where to draw boundaries with Mapi, you may be together but you weren’t about to risk either of your jobs because of it. 
That's what made it so hard to leave, when Barcalona came knocking at Mapi’s door it would have been stupid to say no. But the dread of having to start over in a new city made you nervous. You were already away from home most of the time, only seeing your papa a few times a year. You had finally established a career in Madrid, but at the same time you knew you couldn’t be away from Mapi. The two of you moved in tandem for a reason, you were two pieces to the same puzzle. You would rather put your career on hold to be there for her then be in Madrid, alone. 
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Things fall into place easily in Barcelona, a job as an editing assistant for the men's team opens up only a few weeks after you move in with Mapi. Sure it wasn’t where your passion lied but it was something. 
“How are you settling in my love,” Mapi asks one morning as the two of you laid together in bed, the sun leaking in through the slightly open curtains. Her hand tracing shapes along your spine. 
“It’s okay, I wish I was with the women's team but it's okay, it's a start.” You knew deep down your only actual chance to work with the women's team would be if someone leaves, and who would leave working for the most successful team in the league. 
“It will happen one day, they will see just how talented you are and they won't be able to deny you the  job you want.” You appreciated Mapi’s optimism, she had always been your biggest cheerleader. Reassuring you throughout the years as the two of you grew and changed with one another. 
“Thank you my love, we can hope, but let's not get them too high.” You whisper softly, tracing the tattoos that cover Mapis arms only stopping once your alarm interrupts your morning peace. 
The two of you go your separate ways when you hit the gate at work, her slipping off to practice as you make your way down the never ending hallways. Passing offices of people important enough to have actual doors, eventually settling into your small cubical towards the back of the room. A place you can tuck yourself into and hide from the rest of the office. 
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This continues for years, Mapi and you continent in your relationship never really sharing it with others outside of your family and friends. Your social media staying very much private, especially as you start to get more attention from fans of the team for the photographs you take, having been promoted to the men's team head photographer. You were happy, sure you had hopes and dreams you were still working towards but you found yourself fond of the simple everyday routine that you and Mapi had formed. 
That was until you literally ran into a goddess. 
The tall dark haired beauty had exited the main conference room right as you were passing, not a chance for either of you to stop as you collided. The box of hard drives crashing to the ground as she grabs your arm to stabilize you. 
“I’m so sorry,” the brunette says quickly, a thick accent making it challenging for you to understand. Your limited understanding of English not aiding in the matter. 
“It.. is.. okay,” you stammer out, hoping you said something okay. The soft smile on the woman's face giving you some reassurance that you had. 
“I’m Ingrid, I just signed on with the women's team.” The woman you now know as Ingirid declares, her hand extended towards you. Your mind going blank as you gently take her hand. 
“I am Y/N,” you say with less confidence than her. 
“Well, it's very nice to meet you Y/N.” Ingrid declares, dropping your hand to bend down and retrieve the box you had dropped. Thankfully none of the hard drives had fallen out. 
And with that she was gone, your mind racing at warped speed. The tingle on your skin from where she had been holding your arm reminding you of the feelings that had coursed through you. A sudden wave of nausea washing over you as Mapi popped into your mind, your fun, sweet, goofy Mapi. How you could even think of another woman, one you don’t even know, one who will have to work with your LONGTIME partner. This sudden feeling of guilt settling into your stomach. 
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You avoid the topic with Mapi for the next few days, a weird silence falling over your shared apartment any time work is brought into the conversation. You know she can tell something is wrong, you can feel her watching you as you try to keep yourself distracted in the apartment. Being barely able to sit still for more than a few minutes at a time this sudden influx of anxiety being clear as day to anyone who knows you. 
It isn’t until one late night when you get home from traveling with the mens team that you and Mapi finally talk. She had stayed up late, catching you as you snuck in the front door.
“Please, my love, come talk to me. Somethings wrong, I can tell.” Mapi’s words make your heart ache, looking into her eyes you see someone who so desperately wants you to open up. Something that you had never seen before, up until now you and Mapi had never had issues communicating. Communication was actually one of the things the two of you pride yourselves on, something many of your friends were actually stunned by when they first learned how open the two of you are. 
You take your time to drop your bags, sliding your shoes off as you close the door behind you. The pit of anxiety growing more into a black hole. Sitting down next to Mapi on the sofa, not daring to look at her. The two of you sitting in silence for what felt like hours, Mapi’s hand gently grasping yours. 
“What is going on in your mind my love,” Mapi whispers softly as she tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. 
“I… I um, I met one of your new teammates last week.” You swallow, tears pricking at your eyes as guilt eats away at you. “She bumped into me in the main offices,” you whisper looking over at Mapi as she watches you intensely. 
“Did she do something to you?” Mapi asks, a hint of urgency in her tone. 
“Nothing bad I promise, she probably doesn’t even remember meeting me. But… when she held my arm to keep me from falling I got this feeling.” You turn away from Mapi again, not wanting to see the look on her face. “And I hate this feeling, it's a feeling I’m only supposed to have with you, yet my skin burned where she held it. I feel like I’m betraying you even though I haven’t done anything.” 
You don’t dare look at Mapi, her hand hasn't left yours and she never shifts further away from you. But this feeling of guilt settles in your stomach, the fear that she will be angry at you for your unwanted thoughts lingers in the back of your mind. 
“Who was it?” Mapi asks after a few long moments. 
“What?” The shock is evident in your voice as you snap your head to look at her. Having expected anger, not curiosity. 
“What is her name? Who is it?” She asks again, meeting your eyes, a soft squeeze of your hand reassuring you. 
“She said her name is Ingrid. I think she just signed on with the team.” Sharing the only information you had. 
Mapi takes a moment to process what you had said, gently wiping the tears from your cheeks as she takes you in. “It’s okay,” she reassures after a moment. “I am guilty of the same,” Mapis' words shocking you. 
“What?” You hiccup. 
“I have had the same feelings you have had for her, I’ve been struggling with them to my love. She is… enticing to put it simply. I don’t blame you for feeling this way about her.” Mapi’s words both alarm you and reassure you. You had felt some security in knowing that while you held these feelings there was no way you were going to interact with Ingrid again. But knowing that Mapi also held those feelings, for someone she is seeing everyday, traveling with, showering with. A sudden wave of fresh tears form in your eyes. 
“You… you like her too. Were you ever going to tell me?” You ask suddenly, pulling your hand away from hers.  
“Of course I was, it's not like I would ever dream of acting on those feelings. I was worried about you. You’ve been acting off.” Mapi defends. 
“I’ve been acting off because I find this person attractive, the same person you apparently find attractive. A person you will be spending time with, alone.” A tone that isn’t anger but more so anxiety present in your voice. 
“I’m not going to ever act on it, I love you, that isn’t changing.” Mapi insist. 
“But what if you eventually find you are loving her? She seems charming, pretty. What do I have to compete.” 
“You aren’t competing my love, there is no competition.” Mapi’s words hang in the air as you process all that has been shared. 
But what if you want to share? The thought of Ingrid making your heart flutter, not in the way Mapi makes it flutter but in a way that feels like she completed the puzzle the two of you were pieces in. Your love for Mapi hadn’t changed, it had only grown over the years, but the thought of Ingrid felt like your heart was whole. 
“What would you think if I thought dating Ingrid would be appealing, if I thought she would fit in well with us?” You ask hesitantly. 
“Are you asking if I would want to open our relationship?” Mapi asks. 
“Not open, it wouldn’t just be anyone. Just Ingrid.” You respond, watching Mapi out of the corner of your eye. 
“I… I wouldn’t be opposed, not if she would be okay with it. She would have to want both of us, I’m not losing you because of someone else.” Mapi whispers. 
“I don’t think you would have to ever worry about losing me.” You say softly as you place a gentle kiss on Mapi's cheek. “Let's think of it this way, if Ingrid shows any interest we consider it. But we will not tarnish us by seeking it out, okay?” 
“I’m okay with that,” Mapi agrees, her arms wrapping around you tightly as the two of you sink back into the couch. A million thoughts racing through your mind as everything that has happened catches up to you.
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helen-with-an-a · 6 months
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I need to be perfect
Hi. So I kinda don't like this, but I kinda do at the same time, and I wasn't quite sure how to end it. It was also a really good request so I might use the prompt again in another way. Anyways, I hope you enjoy.
Barca Femeni x Reader ; Alexia Putellas x Reader (Platonic)
Description: R needs to be perfect and doesn't know how to stop.
Word Count: 2.4k
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“When I say ‘jump’, you say ‘how high, coach?’ Got it?” The overweight, middle-aged man with an awful comb-over had shouted to you when you were just 9 years old. His methods were basically abuse, but he produced superstars. And that is what you were going to be. A superstar. It didn’t help that you already had perfectionist tendencies, and your parents were pushy – always expecting brilliance. No, not even brilliance. The best, you had to be the best. Perfect. Flawless. Faultless. Textbook. There was no other choice.
It was no surprise that Barca had come knocking when you were barely 16. You had mixed emotions: elation that Barcelona wanted you, happiness that you could leave the cruel atmosphere you lived in, fear that you weren’t as good as they may have thought, and nervousness that you needed the horrendous conditions to thrive.
Again. More. That wasn’t good enough. You’re not trying. You need to be better. Again. Again. Again.
You had seen the media asking how Barcelona could have signed a 16-year-old rising young talent from a lower league club. The world expected you to be great, Barca expected you to be great, and your parents expected you to be great.
But you didn’t feel great. Not at first. You had turned up to pre-season and noticed how far behind you were from your teammates. You hadn’t considered that it was because they were almost double your age and had been at the club or other high-level ones for years. You were struggling slightly to get the drills – Catalan was the preferred language, and you were still barely competent in Spanish. When the season started, you weren’t used as a sub very much, making your debut in November about 85 minutes into the match. You didn’t get your first start of the season until February. You had gone from being the best in the team at your old club to being a mere blip on the team sheet.
You are useless. You can’t even make it as a sub? You are a waste of time and money. All the effort we spent on you.
Your parents weren’t helping the situation. You already had the voice in your head telling you you weren’t good enough, and the constant barrage of texts, voicemails, and phone calls after another match where you weren’t used was starting to get to you.
So, you started to push yourself. After a season of being on the sidelines too much, you knew you needed to start working harder. You didn’t realise that Jonatan had been hoping to use this first year to let you get accustomed to Spain, the style of play and build your fitness. At first, it was nothing major. You stayed late a few days a week to work on drills, set pieces and technical skills. But then it was staying late every day you had training. And then coming in early. And then you began to run to training, leaving your bags in the locker room overnight for you to go and get changed. And then you began to run back from training, too. And then you added extra at-home workouts (nothing too crazy in the beginning; mainly yoga that turned into Pilates, which turned into an additional 2 hours of bodyweight exercises). For some strange reason, you had been allowed to live by yourself. You think that it was because so many of the girls lived nearby. Ingrid and Mapi lived in the same building as you. Lucy lived on the same road as you, as did Keira, Ona and Aitana. Alexia lived less than a ten-minute walk away, and you were within easy driving distance of everyone else. But because you lived alone, no one noticed how much you were putting your body through, even on your days off and mid-season breaks.
But the hard work was paying off. You started the next season well; pre-season had gone fantastically, and your name appeared on the Starting XI for the first match of the season. It stayed there throughout the year. You had also broken into a constant starter for your national team.
Again. Again. Again. Be better. Do better. Worthless. Poor. Again. Again
You couldn’t see a problem with it. You were fast, strong, technical, good, and great. You were going on two years at Barca, thriving, and playing your best football. You were barely 18, yet you had already been nominated for the Ballon d’Or. Everything was brilliant football-wise. You had to keep going. You couldn’t stop.
Do better. Awful. Again. Be better. Shocking. Rubbish. Useless. Horrible. Again
It was your day off after an intense few weeks when the truth came crashing to the ground. The Champions League had started up again, and a series of away games took place in a short space of time. It was hard with long days away from the comfort of your own home, and your daily routine was not helping the situation. Everyone could tell you weren’t ok – but they assumed it was from the travel. Lucy had picked up a cold or something, Keira was tired, Aitana and Pina were a little achy, and Alexia and Frido were more vigilant over the needs of their bodies. Everyone was exhausted. But you had to keep going. You couldn’t stop.
In your constant pressure to improve, you failed to notice Alexia’s troubled stares, Marta’s questioning looks, Patri’s concerned glances, and Irene’s worried gazes. They knew how hard you pushed yourself … almost. They knew you stayed every day after training, and they were a little concerned. But they didn’t know the extent of it. Not in the slightest.
It was El Clasico. Real Madrid vs Barcelona. A historic rivalry. You wanted nothing more than to lie down and sleep until May, but that wasn’t an option. Everything was fine. You were on the score sheet, winning and playing great football. And then Athenea slid in for a tackle, catching you on your ankle in precisely the wrong spot. You tried (successfully) not to cry, but you couldn’t help the pained gasp that escaped your mouth. Alexia had been by your side instantly, ushering the medics over and holding you in place with her Captain’s stare.
“It’s your ankle, sí?” Alexia knew it was a matter of time before an injury came for you. If only she had stepped in sooner and helped you from overworking yourself. She helped you to your feet and walked you to the dugout.
“What? No! Ale, I’m fine. See,” You stood on your sore foot to prove your point. It hurt like nothing else you’d experienced, but it was fine; you just needed to walk it off.
“No, you sit the rest of this game out, get re-assessed back home and then we see if you can play.” She said with a note of finality as you huffed, turning around and walking off before you could comment.
Terrible. Awful. Be better. Dreadful. Terrible. Hopeless. Incompetent.
You knew it was silly. Your ankle was not ok, but you needed to train. It had been 2 days since El Clasico, and you were forced not to train yesterday, but it had been a travel day, so there wasn’t much you could do. It would be fine; you had trained on injuries before. You had waited until you knew the team would be out on the pitch as you snuck into the gym. Your ankle was heavily taped, but that was fine. You could put some pressure on it – that was all you needed.
You were determined to get at least a little run in. Just a gentle jog, really, barely above walking. Just a quick 5km. Nothing too crazy. You couldn’t afford to stop training, not after everything you have worked for. With your face in a determined expression and the idiocy of a terrified teenager, you got to work. You started on the bike. The movement was a little painful, but it raised your heart rate and got blood flowing. As you moved across the equipment, the door to the gym flew open.
“Qué crees que estás haciendo?” Alexia roared, making you jump out of your skin. Your first thought was that you hadn’t spent enough time on the bike, that she was angry at you for not working hard enough. For stopping. For taking a breather. “You are injured! Why the fuck are you not resting?” Alexia stormed over to you – she seemed angry. Her eyebrows were furrowed, her eyes were dark and stormy, and her mouth was a hard line. She was angry at you. Why was she telling you to rest? Rest? You couldn’t rest. You had to be better. Keep working harder. Push yourself to be the best.
“I …” You couldn’t answer her, you couldn’t make her angrier. You couldn’t disappoint her. “I’m sorry. I just needed some water. I’m starting again in a minute.” You rushed to get your explanation to her. She needed to know you weren’t stopping. You were just moving to a different exercise. You weren’t slacking.
“Again? What have you done already?” She wasn’t calming down. If anything, you were making her angry. With the lack of sleep, the mental exhaustion, the injury, it was becoming too much for you. Tears clouded your vision, Alexia becoming foggy as you tried to stop the emotions from bubbling up.
“I was just moving from the bike. I’ll start running now. I’m sorry. I’m not stopping, I promise.” You were a mess as you moved to start the treadmill.
Alexia stopped to look at you. Really, look at you. Your tired eyes, your dark circles and your sickly skin. The fatigue was evident in the way you stood; your body seemed too heavy for you to hold up. You also looked terrified. She couldn’t work out why, though. Yes, she was angry. A trainer had come into the medical room wondering who had cleared you for exercise. Alexia knew no one had done so; they had told her after the match that it would be 2 weeks or so before you could rejoin training at any level (after the string of injuries, the medical staff were also over-cautious in their assessments of minor injuries). So, she knew you were doing this against their advice. And that made her mad; it was one thing to push yourself in training despite coaches telling you not to overdo it but another to actively go against medical advice. But looking at you, she knew you hadn't asked for medical clearance. You were just a scared little girl.
“No, Chiquita. No, running.” Alexia was a lot calmer now, seeing your lip wobble and your eyes blink rapidly—clearly holding back tears.
“I have to. I can’t stop. I need to be better.” You whispered, ashamed of your perceived weaknesses.
“Cariño,” she cooed, reaching out to you. You flinched, not used to kind touches. Any touches you had received from coaches or captains were ones that would push you into running more, doing more drills, and practicing more set pieces. “Pequeña. You’re injured. You need to rest, mi amor.”
“I can’t rest. I need to train. I need to be better, do better.”
“No, Chiquita. You don’t. You need rest; you need to get well again.” Alexia stepped forward. She could see the war raging in your head – the desire to stop but the need to keep going. “Cariño?” Her kindness made you break. You launched yourself at her, arms wrapping around her neck as you cried into her. “Oh, amor. You’re ok. Está bien. Todo está bien. Prometo. Usted puede parar.” You sobbed into her shoulder, tears dampening her shirt as you howled. Everything was too much. You hurt, you needed to sleep, you wanted to stop, and yet you couldn’t. The voice in your head told you to keep going. Your parents and old coaches told you you weren’t allowed to stop. It was far, far, far too much for you.
“Neña, deep breaths. In … and out … vamos … in … and out.” Alexia instructed as you were becoming hysterical. She made her breaths exaggerated, slow and obvious, helping you to match hers. “Bien hecho, pequeña,” she pressed gentle kisses to your head as she eventually slowed down. “Y/N, I am not angry at you; no one is. But I need to know why you are in here and not at home resting.” Alexia implored, her hazel eyes looking directly at yours.
“I can’t stop,” you said meekly, slightly ashamed of your outburst.
“No entiendo. You can’t stop what?” She spoke slowly, like you would to a child or a scared animal.
“I can’t stop training. I need to be better. I need to do more,” you said, getting agitated—at her lack of understanding or at yourself. You weren’t quite sure.
“Amor, why do you need to be better?” Alexia was truly at a loss. You were so talented; you didn’t need to be better.
“Because everyone says so. They say so.” You looked so fragile and nervous, eyes darting around the room, your fingers twisting around each other.
“Who is ‘they’?”
“My parents … my old coaches.”
“Chiquita, listen to me. You do not need to be better. You are more than enough. You are so, so talented. You work so hard. But pushing yourself will not be good for you, the team, or anyone else. You need to rest, slow down, and allow your body to heal.”
With Alexia’s kind questioning, she soon got to the bottom of everything. You had told her about the harshness you had experienced from a young age, the disappointment and anger your parents had expressed during your first season at Barcelona, and the voice in your head telling you to keep pushing. She knew you had a way to go, but with gentle reminders and constant check-ins, you learnt how to quieten the voices. Training became easier, your home was no longer a place to get more workouts in, and you finally stopped listening to the devils in your life and started paying attention to the angels.
It wasn’t much, but it was a start. And that was all they could hope for.
I hope you enjoyed it. It was kinda short and I don't know if I really like the ending but yeh.
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bangtanhoesthings · 12 days
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Are You Sure feels like a travel video that a friend made and then shared with you. In the grand scheme of things, it's not sent necessarily to entertain you but simply to show you " Hey look! This is what I did, this is what I ate, this is where I went, doesn't it look fun?"
This show is about Jimin and Jungkook being vulnerable and authentic without the glitz and glamour. They could have very well incorporated a lot of activities and put on a show for our entertainment (they have been in the industry for more than a decade, trust me, they know how to) but they didn't because that's not what this was about.
With their go-pros in hand, they simply did what they wanted to do, went where they wanted to go and ate what they wanted to eat ( and boy do these guys know how to eat).
There are many scenes in the show that the two could have chosen not to show eg. Jimin's diarrhoea, Jimin's struggle with the slopes (why is it always Jimin ...lol). They chose to keep these scenes that depict them as regular human beings.
That's one of the things that made me fall in love with BTS. Despite the idol image, the boys have through the years tried to be as genuine as they possibly could within reason. When asked what being a regular human was like in the military, Jin answered that it was no different since who he is on camera is who he is off camera.
BTS cultivated a relationship with ARMY that allows them to be vulnerable. They don't always need to put on a show, they can just be. And this trust is perfectly translated through their musical experiments in chapter two. The fact that Tae was confident enough to release an RnB album, Joonie's indie RPWP album, Yoongi's album that was essentially him closing the door on his trauma, and all the other works the members released. We give them that freedom to explore, to soar, to breathe, to live, to be and to thrive.
I feel it's the same with this show. Jimin and Jungkook were willing to show us who they are because they knew we would not judge them for it (the sane fans I mean). From the bickering, to the play fights, to the semi-deep conversations, to the playfulness, to the moments filled with tension(not the good kind), to the softness. All this in its totality makes up a sum total of who they are and their beautiful bond. Which makes the "it's a script" arguments just downright laughable.
Some say "it's boring". Well yes, it's meant to be. That's why it works. It's simple. It's mundane. That's what makes it beautiful. Because despite them engaging in a few activities, the boys are out enjoying themselves and they just happen to bring us along. When you really consider how the show was structured you get to understand that this show was more for them than for us. Am grateful they shared with us all the same.
Is there a point to this long post, not really. Just a girl gushing over two men whose show has helped keep her sane these past few weeks. I want 12 more seasons. I want more travel adventures with Jikook. I want more "mukbang" videos. I want more "Are you hurt" moments with Jimin (jk, I can't take anymore of those). But most of all, I want them, together, having the time of their lives.
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servantofthefates · 11 days
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Life-Changing Money Manifestation Tip 💰
This is not a technique I learned from books, or a principle my elders taught me. It is simply something I have observed to be unfailingly effective.
I know it might seem counterintuitive, impractical, and perhaps even downright foolish. But it has been consistently true for me and the people around me.
The tip is: Never ever be frugal with money.
Even when you're afraid you won't have enough, be open-handed with your spending. Spend on your needs, spend on your wants, spend on others who deserve your generosity. Just. Keep. Spending.
The fuck, right? What if you already don't have enough to begin with?
Well, you know how they say, "Love is infinite" or "There's enough love to go around" or "Love multiplies, it doesn't divide"?
The same is true for money.
Money is energy. It just happens to have physical manifestations like coins, bills or gold.
Love too is energy. It just happens to have physical manifestations like kisses, words or gifts.
And it is common knowledge that if we wish to be loved, we must first love ourselves, and give love freely to those who are worth it. We must let love flow through us.
Same with money. If we want to have it, we must first spend it on ourselves and give it freely to those we deem worth it. We must let money flow through us.
And flow it will.
Just as it is nearly impossible for a cold-hearted person to invite love, it is also very hard for a stingy person to invite money.
I have seen this first-hand many times.
This man owned a boutique advertising agency. He gave out bonuses and free international trips to his team the way corporations give out cheap pizzas to their employees. And back then, this man's business thrived. Some months, he made more than global agencies did. And the awards were pouring in too. He was on top of the world.
Suddenly, his elderly mother got terribly sick, and he panicked. He knew he had to spend a fortune on her medical bills, and his fear got the best of him. So he cancelled the free trips. He stopped giving bonuses. Eventually, he even cut down salaries and moved to a smaller office.
One year later, his business went bankrupt. Because all his talented employees left. And with that, the trust of his clients dried out. His business — which had the potential to become an empire — ended up becoming just a TikTok trend.
Because he held on to money too tightly... money felt suffocated and walked out on him entirely.
The opposite example is me. No, I do not also own an ad agency. But I have learned to never worry about money. And since then, money has never disappointed me.
Last year, someone dear to me had been praying for a MacBook, but her parents couldn't afford it. I too couldn't afford it. Not without digging into my savings. So I did. Because I know money will always come back to me. And it did.
Two days after I placed the order, I received an email from Shareworks that my stocks were ready to be withdrawn. The amount? Double what I paid for the Mac. These stocks are released yearly, so I tend to forget about them. But they came at the right time.
And it is like this every time.
I buy a Louis Vuitton bag with money meant for my holiday. Suddenly, a friend invites me to go with them on a fully paid trip to the same country I was planning to visit.
I buy a bunch of tarot decks with a week's worth of transportation costs, and my company announces we're working from home for a week while they repair some rain damage.
I buy a box of Patchi chocolates when I'm already short on my monthly budget, and my salary gets released early because it's the holidays, and the CEO is feeling friendly.
I know life is not always as sweet as I described it to be. Sometimes, it's not about Louis Vuittons and Patchis, but about diapers and cough medicine. I am perfectly aware some people are struggling — not about holidays and tarot splurges, but about keeping the electricity on and putting food on the table. I will not pretend to know the solution to their hardships.
What I do know is there are people who are considered poor in my community who are seriously way happier than me. And I know I have had bosses who made thrice as I did who were far more miserable than me.
And that tells me that despite our different stations in life, energy is energy. And it's always best to let it flow freely.
So I repeat... never ever be frugal with money.
When it knocks on your door, say, "Hey, nice to see you!" When it leaves your house, say, "See you again soon!" And when it finally seems to be making itself at home, do not lock it in the basement. Cook dinner with it. Invite your friends over. Watch a movie. Do karaoke. Look money in the eyes and say, "I'm glad you've decided to stay."
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gor3sigil · 2 months
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Idk who needs to read this but I sure do:
If you're in a relationship, you do not need to "perform" as a couple.
My partner and I are both neurodivergent, we have and sleep in separate rooms, we sometimes struggle to cuddle much or show physical affection because we both need space most of the time. And that's totally fine. We love each other to bits and we show our love for one another in a bunch of different ways: I cook a lot and take much care of cooking healthy and balanced meals, they always have little attentions for me like writing me cute notes or grabbing my fav snacks and drinks when they go shopping.
Social media and fiction always portray loving relationships as being together all the time, cuddling 24/7, having tons of sex etc. But love/affection shows in so many different ways. I know I love my partner because I want to see them thrive, I love to see them smile, I'd go to Hell and back for them and I know they feel the same.
The best way to show your love to someone is: the way that feels the most natural for you. You don't need to be on each other's faces 24/7 to be a loving SO. If it comes from the heart, that it proper love.
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celestialprincesse · 7 months
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🪐🩷
I write sm of Simon with like super cutie patootie sweet softie gf's and today is not one of those days!! What about Si with a sassy, snarky spitfire of a partner.
He's kind of always thought that he'd want some soft, gentle, domestic partner to offset the general frustration and struggle of his work life. Some bird in a frilly apron to coo and preen at him like a wounded puppy.
And then he meets her.
She's some intelligence officer brought on by Laswell in hopes of attaining information on targets before missions to keep things running that little bit smoother.
She's had to not only survive, but thrive in a cutthroat mans world industry for years, and she takes not one single ounce of shit from anyone.
Price will occasionally (and very much unintentionally) simplify things for her in mission briefings and she just kind of sits there with arms crossed and a raised eyebrow until he gets the memo that he doesn't need to baby her.
She never has to actually go out into the field, so whilst the guys are all training in the gym, she sits and plays games on her phone or reads some smutty romance novels.
She didn't expect to fall flat on her ass for Simon Riley, but something about how quiet and level headed he is makes her very much metaphorically swoon.
He knows it, obviously. He's observant as fuck. He sees the way she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth when she has to crane her neck in order to look up at him, or when he casually helps her with boxes of files and she shifts bashfully from foot to foot, trying not to ogle his biceps.
When they start dating, she's not even afraid of the others finding out because they're too scared of her to tease the two of them.
They move in together and she designates the guest room for all of his man stuff, only to find out that he has like three personal items and some chargers. "The fuck you mean you don't have an ugly PC?! You're a guy?" He's so confused at her confusion until later in their relationships when she tells him that all of her past partners were kind of (major) dicks and that's why she didn't really date anymore, until she met him of course.
She tries really really hard to hide when she cries before he goes off on deployment, and works ten times harder to find useful information that will increase his chance of getting home to her safe.
He buys her really sentimental presents and she tries to hide how touched she is by calling him the softie even though she shamefully piles all of his clothes on the bed with her when he's away because she misses him so much.
She buys him a dog in secret on the same day that he comes home with a cat for her and they just sort of stand there in their front entrance like that Spiderman meme where they all point at each other.
The dog and cat love each other, almost as unlikely a pair as their owners.
She and Simon go into work one day and she's got a unique, delicate little ring on her left ring finger and the guys are like 😦"You got married and didn't invite us?" "No you fucking plebs we got engaged."
Never did anyone think they'd see the day where Simon Riley got engaged and thought about settling down.
They also thought the two of them hated each other until Simon casually is like "Oh, yeah no she and I went to this great place the other night. Good steaks."
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theemporium · 1 month
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im not sure if we’re allowed to combine prompts, so if we’re not, then feel free to choose!
can i request a violet fluff 💜 with nicojack??
"Come back to bed."
"Please, never apologise for wanting to be loved."
thank you for requesting!🫶🏽
49. “Come back to bed.”
.
It was late.
The game ended hours ago, a brutal loss to the Devils that stung for everyone—the players, the coaches, the fans. It was a game of stupid mistakes and missed opportunities and it laid heavy on everyone’s shoulders as the seats at the Prudential Center emptied after the final buzzer sounded through the arena. 
It was bad, but it wasn’t season-breaking. It was still in the early months of the season, they had time to recover from the loss and move up. And all things considered with how the last season went, things were looking bright for the Devils chances to clinch a playoff spot and have a solid foot through the door for the Stanley Cup.
But that didn’t stop Jack’s brain from spiralling the second he stepped off the ice after the heartbreaking loss. 
Everyone could see the way he closed off and it wasn’t unusual. They were competitive athletes, it was in their DNA to thrive and push and aim for the win. It was disappointing when they didn’t get it. It was normal for them to just have moments to themselves to come to terms with the game before leaving it in the past and moving on.
But Jack couldn’t seem to let go. 
It was borderline obsessive the way he was watching tapes from a game he played hours ago, watching the same clips over and over and over again like he could somehow rewrite the outcome. Even getting him to eat dinner was a struggle, the boy uninterested and untempted by the plate lying beside him. 
You thought maybe he needed to sleep it off, that maybe he would talk to you or Nico in the morning. 
Instead, you woke up at three in the morning to find his side of the bed empty and Nico just as confused as he tried to blink away the sleep from his eyes. 
“Where’s Jack?” Nico grumbled, biting back a yawn as he reached towards the empty spot in bed, the sheets now cold.
“I can take a guess,” you murmured, throwing your legs over the side of the bed and wincing slightly at the cool floorboards beneath your feet before you walked out towards the living room. 
It was unsurprising to find Jack sat on the couch, tablet in hand and eyes glued to the screen. His shoulders were tense, his posture was horrible and his lips looked red and raw from biting down on them so much. 
“Babe,” you called out in a soft voice, watching Jack jump out of his skin as he turned to find both of you standing in the doorway. 
“Oh, hey,” he cleared his throat, his cheeks flushing a little when he realised he had been caught. “Couldn’t sleep?” 
“Jack,” you scolded in a soft voice.
“Schat, this isn’t healthy,” Nico frowned as he took in the scene in front of him, brows furrowed and concern written across his face. “I know you’re upset about the game—”
“I lost us that game,” Jack whispered, his voice breaking. “Look at all these mistakes! You kept setting me up and I kept fumbling and—”
“Hey,” Nico shook his head, rounding the couch until he was kneeling in front of Jack. He took the younger boy’s face in his hands, his thumbs soothing over his cheeks. “Everyone makes mistakes. It’s not one person’s fault. We are a team. We win together, we fail together. You know that.”
Jack swallowed harshly. “I know but—”
“No,” he frowned. “Together, Jack. You can’t keep kicking yourself about this. Not like this, okay?” 
He nodded softly. “Okay.” 
“Come back to bed,” Nico murmured as he stood up, pulling the boy up with him as they shuffled towards where you were standing.
“I’m a part of that together too, by the way,” you commented as Jack approached you, sinking into your embrace as you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him into a hug.
“Of course, babe,” he rasped, letting out a sigh as he leaned his head on your shoulder. “M’taking middle spot, by the way.”
You snorted. “Fine. Just this once.”
.
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hotdogdynamitezzz · 2 years
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~ Astro Observations ~
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Saturn is known as the protector planet as it rules over barriers, restrictions, delays, limits & any protection that can be forced. Look at your chart to see where you will experience the most setbacks yet are protected. For instance, I've noticed someone with Saturn in the 6th house is very hard working and often puts in twice the work to get places, but they can experience setbacks with their colleagues nitpicking or criticizing them. But they are usually protected, their hard work pays off, or they always thrive. I see A LOT of famous people with Saturn in the 6th house.
Libra risings like people who are like themselves or else they completely avoid those who are obnoxious and aggressive as it appalls them. Yet, I commonly see them drawing in these individuals at the same time. Best rising for enemies to lovers as the main protagonist just doing their thing unbothered until an aries rising shows up lmao.
I notice the type of people we are attracted to reflect our 1st or 7th house in some way. For instance I have Venus in 1st and I always attract Aries rising & Mars in 1st house people. I noticed the same for someone who had Moon in their 1st house commonly attracting Capricorn risings or those with Saturn in their 1st house.
The sun sign is actually very important in your chart and isn't just some hocus pocus bogus crap found in magazine horoscopes. From my observations I've developed a theory that Mutable signs adapt using their sun signs qualities they usually start off HATING but find it necessary to utilize for their own personal power. Cardinal Signs seem to dislike their sun signs qualities and chase after everything using THE OPPOSITE qualities of their sign. It's when they use their sun signs qualities to their advantage they will find their initiations successful. While fixed signs struggle the most to master their own sun signs qualities as it sticks with them through and through, they relate the most to their sun sign as these qualities are something inate they use to identify themselves. However, they struggle to figure out how to use their qualities in a positive light as they can easily get stuck in a cycle.
Ex, a lot of Virgo euns hated cleaning or organizing themselves using lists as they were younger but later adapted because of the many health problems this sign usually experiences so found it necessary
Ex, Cancer suns tend to ignore their emotions and lash out at others being deemed insensitive so they focus on Detachment when really they should be utilizing their magnetism and intuition through human connection as they are the sign with the most power over others emotions.
Ex, Aquarius suns struggle with seeing the use of collaboration with others opinions and applying their innovative thoughts towards real life skills. They can get stuck in a constant pattern of not feeling accepted or heard. But mastering their creative thinking and differences to use positively will give them the most recognition.
Conclusion:
Mutable sun sign = Adapting to your Qualities
Cardinal sun sign = initiating your Qualities.
Fixed sun sign = Mastering your Qualities.
This is also why imo it's the hardest to spot a mutable sun sign as they're usually farther away from Adapting to their sun signs qualities until they've gotten more experience in life. Usually looking at the general themes in their life can help you identify them the easier.
Ex, Gemini suns are focused on developing communication skills and confidence in their socializing capabilities.
Ex, Pisces suns usually deals with people taking their dreams for granted and is most likely influenced by a harsh or strict environment.
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In Solar Return Charts the most common house placements tend to be the 1st House, 6th House, 7th House and 10th House. ESPECIALLY 1ST & 6TH HOUSE! This is because most of our years are focused on the tangible and everyday aspects of our lives which is ruled by the 6th house, our public person and career is the 10th House, and focusing on ourselves is our 1st House.
If you're a student I frequently see 3rd, 5th, 6th, 8th & 9th Houses filled in solar return charts. The 3rd/5th/9th Houses are all about acquiring skills, learning from what's in front of you, hobbies and pleasure, and higher knowledge or lessons to be taught that bring about movement in your life. I also included 6th house because that's our daily life + physical health while the 8th house is about our mental health so it makes sense why students often have that house filled...
Wanna find out how to turn your creative thinking into a weapon and utilize it for success? Pallas (2) can show what you're naturally gifted at intellectually.
Pallas is the asteroid representing Athena goddess of war, strategy, knowledge & creative thinking. I've seen this asteroid work wonders tbh. My friend has it in Libra 12th House and she's a visual artist mastermind. She can piece any aesthetic or visual together like a puzzle.
If you want to manifest any desires, look at your 11th house! This house rules our wishes and what is rewarded after we've put hard work into it. Finding direction will be much easier to achieve if you look at your 11th house and what it's telling you to work for. Basically I've seen Pluto in 11th = earning power over people, Saturn in 11th = earning respect and titles, Venus in 11th = earning love or money (wealth indicator), Neptune in 11th = earning a prophecy, deep undivided loyalty & glamour, Mercury in 11th = earning your name to be widespread, knowledge & fast results.
I'd say Mercury in the 11th is a big "viral celebrity" placement as they can easily do something and everyone knows their name overnight. Also good for scholars!
The 12th house is also known as the house of Loss. Your planets, sign & rulership could determine what you end up sacrificing or leaving behind. For example, Cancer in 12th could often leave their homes or roots, they usually experience family loss early too. Scorpio in 12th house loses their fear, finances & secrets easily (beware of who you let talk to you). And Sagittarius in 12th house can lose their freedom, knowledge acquired, and faith in others.
The most copied people tend to be Scorpio risings, Pisces risings, Pluto in 1st house, Neptune in 1st house and 12th House placements. That's because with Scorpio energy in the 1st house their identity is literally exploited and used for power dynamics (legit had my friend catfished a bit ago and she has an 8° sag rising with Pluto in 1st conjunct her ascendant). And Pisces energy around the 1st House because people have no barriers with you and feel entitled to take your identity. It can almost feel like a sacrifice of themselves for Pisces rising or those with Neptune in 1st house (ex, Marilyn Monroe & Kim Kardashian, it's not a mistake they both have Neptune in 1st house).
Differences between the angular houses cuz I know we get these mixed up easily:
Your 1st house = How you identify yourself in the world.
Your 4th House = Your roots and how you grow into the world.
Your 7th House = How others identity you, your close connections.
Your 10th House = What you're known for, your reputation.
The houses of legacys are 4th, 8th & 10th. This is your history and how you make your mark on the world, how you will be remembered, and your title in the word.
8th house placements is what we knowingly gatekeep from the world, and the house rulership tells just as much if it's empty. Rich people usually have Jupiter in the 8th house because they are quite literally gatekeeping their wisdom, knowledge, gifts & MASS amounts of power. They also receive money randomly sometimes and have fabulous luck with stocks or investments.
Usually people with Moon in the 8th House tend to be reserved with their deepest emotions and family life. They can often take the longest to open up or trust others as they're used to being blackmailed or having their emotional security taken away from them.
Countries' rising signs MAKES A LOT OF SENSE. Russia has a Scorpio rising (known for intelligence agencies, spies, and cold environment...also destruction of the USSR), the USA has a Sagittarius rising (known for freedom, boldness & diversity...also aggression lol) & Britain is a Libra rising (country known for its fashion, etiquette and tea, its so libra LMAO)
Sun sextile Mars is the best aspect for a natural leader. You know how to utilize your individuality to stand out during competition and you also naturally bring out shining qualities in the people you lead. You take challenges to your ego with ease and although passionate you still remain assured and unbothered by threats. Also high sex drive is present here
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A lot of psychics have Moon sextile Neptune because they access otherworldly feelings subconsciously without blockages. And are both Water and Fire dominant. Water rules unconscious and flowing emotions, while Fire represents intuition and gut feelings hence "follow your heart" being their motto.
In general looking at your Moon placement is THE MOST important when figuring out your intuitive abilities as the Moon is the unconscious mind & your personal feelings and behavior. You could determine what suits you best with this!
Ex, Mercury aspecting Moon does well with Tarot & Oracle or any divination that requires pattern connections and using your hands
Ex, Pluto aspecting Moon might be able to talk to ancestors, spirits, and gain information about dangerous events
Ex, Venus aspecting Moon would be great for Glamour magic, Love spells, WEALTH MANIFESTATIONS, and herbalism!! TEA READINGS LOL
I need to stop with Libra & Tea �� istg Tea is ruled by Libra & Neptune BUT THATS JUST MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS COMING THRU.
I don't necessarily believe in everything I listed or think it's all good practices like Love magic but I wanted to help you develop an idea of how each planet can be connected for practical use.
I feel like Uranus is actually a hard planet to understand and sometimes value in everyday life because it's just so...out there LOL. Like it's described as sudden surprises, rebellion, electricity, revolution & eccentricity. It's just a hard planet to relate to in general because it's the opposite of conformity so applying it in your life is umm confusing to say the least lol.
Basically I look at Uranus as sudden ups & downs, where we grow FAST but where we get knocked down BAD too. I literally think cancel culture would be ruled by Uranus ngl LOL. It's unpredictable and awakens or shakes up whatever it aspects.
So Uranus aspecting Venus would cause a turbulent love life, a somewhat Detached or Hypersexual character, Very wealthy and a visionary in fashion or with money. But alsoooo struggles to maintain relationships or struggles A LOT with self love.
TW but I've often seen those with Uranus in 2nd & 6th House struggle the most with body dysmorphia and weight fluctuation. Your health can always spike up and down too. It's because these houses rule over our self-worth, body and physical health. Therefore, sometimes it can really shake your eating habits up which would obviously cause a struggle in your mental health.
However I've also seen some of the MOST inflated egos come from people with Uranus in 2nd House. Again the unpredictability and sudden Shockwave to your confidence with Uranus can literally make you feel like God or sunken. It's VERY drastic.
Oppositions to the Ascendant, also known as Conjunctions to the Descendant are qualities we possess that others DON'T accept us for and often make us feel insecure. Lilith Opposite Ascendant would probably be heavily shamed for their promiscuity and manipulative behavior. While Uranus opposite ascendant would be ridiculed for their Weirdness or Intelligence. People would label them as crazy lol�� (totally not me).
Also if you have Uranus aspecting the Ascendant or Mars you are VERY clumsy and accident prone LMAO�� your movements literally come off as a shockwave to others and everything around you. It's just one step and all of a sudden a whole clothing rack comes falling down. Uranus does rule Natural Disasters so...are we even surprised?
When looking at your Solar Return Chart it's not just Pluto to be concerned about BUT CHIRON. This asteroid is the wounded healer meaning it will detail the wounds you have to recover from and face that year. Chiron also highlights where we feel or are literally rejected so...check that fr.
The saddest Chiron placement imo is in the 1st & 4th House. Because your identity and self expression is rejected with the 1st house, while in the 4th house you could be outcasted by your own family and feel blocked put from any form of emotional security.
An example of what I think is a good example of significant Chiron energy would be Selena Gomez and her Venus conjunct Chiron at a 1° orb in Leo 1st house. Basically it shows up as her body being rejected, women rejecting her, and her own creative projects or indivuality feeling rejected. She probably is very self-deprecative because of this as she never feels her appearance or identity is good enough.
Chiron in 1st House people also get copied lots...just sayin
Women tend to be VERY jealous of those with Venus or Moon aspecting Chiron because they view that individual as wounding their views of femininity and project their insecurities onto them. The women with Venus/Moon aspecting Chiron placements are seen in general as being too vulnerable or soft which are stereotypical feminine qualities a lot of women can feel resentment towards brought on by the ✨️Patriarchy✨️
Marilyn Monroe also has Venus conjunct Chiron...��
So does Jessica Alba, Olivia Rodrigo and Kurt Cobain.
Their lovesick songs PLZ what's more Venus conjunct Chiron than that�� excluding miss Alba lol.
The same goes for women with Sun & Mars aspecting Chiron. Men are usually jealous of their success and degrade them because they see them as a threat to their masculinity.
Fun fact: The 4th House rules over the Father while the 10th house rules over the Mother in family astrology. Although I generally always saw the Moon sign as the most accurate representation of the maternal figure in your life but I found the above on astrology websites.
I also found some sources saying the 10th house actually rules your dominant parent? It's a whole debate on Google but it did say the 10th house rules the Mother in my astrology books so...idk I see it. Let me know in the comments your thoughts!
And to end this off, let me know your rising sign degree and I will try to guess your favorite colour to wear lol
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🌫️🌷Venus Observations #2 🌷🌫️
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Venus and Neptune have a really interesting interaction when in aspect to each other, particularly with the conjunction, opposition, and square. It’s not that sextiles and trines are not important, but since they are softer, the energies tend to flow with more ease and therefore, less difficulties.
Venus is exalted in Pisces, so it would bring no surprise that individuals with this planetary aspect would display similar traits to the sign, if not maybe even stronger.
Natives with the strong aspects (preferably less that 6 orbs) are perceived as distinctively beautiful in some way. Not necessarily in a conventional way, but more so in their aura field, which then translates to the physical on some level. When Venus makes a strong aspect to the angles (specially ASC or MC) the native can be seen as classic beauties or it simply just draws a lot of judgment from others when it comes to their appearance or mannerisms. Venus with any other planet in general enhances and beautifies it. Pleasure becomes associated with the traits of the planet that its touching it.
When Venus meets Neptune, the planet that represents inspiration, spirituality, illusions, healing, and loss it causes the same effect but much stronger.
Therefore, these natives can find joy, pleasure or become enamored with the Neptunian topics mentioned above. Since Venus thrives the most in relationships that are inherently spiritual, “rose-colored”, or somewhat obscured from the public it encourages to only feel that inner harmony when love comes from a source that isn’t material or seen at all.
In essence we understand love to be a non-physical experience, even if we’re used to being brainwashed by the notion of pursuing this experience through physical or material experiences. The media tries to lead us to filling a void, that simply cannot ever feel complete without spiritual consciousness.
Venus in Pisces or Venus-Neptune natives despite being seen as those who foolishly and innocently love others almost to a detrimental level, understand this the most. They feel as if love can only be found in the moments that are filled with emotions and spiritual connections. A moment where the love they feel seems to be connected with everything, which it is, since the universe thrives when its in energetic harmony.
Does it mean these placements have an easy time simply because of its exaltation? Yes and no. They are given the blessing of finding beauty in everything, but that is exactly the same reason why they are prone to looking for love and beauty in all the “wrong” places. To them, there’s no such thing as an experience that can’t be filled with love and beauty. They will romanticize and beautify absolutely everything, including those who only wish to use them for their own benefit.
For example, if Neptune squares or opposes Venus, the person might choose the wrong partners in life and will tend to idealize them/not see them for who they really are.
At their most difficult moments they become victims of a lot of traumatic experience in love and struggle with understanding feminine energy (which is not exclusively related to gender), which can only be restored by recognizing that love truly lies within them, and in that which is the most connected to the universe, like nature. Many who have a harsh time with recognizing this can end up trying to transform themselves into a version they’ll love or others will, without noticing that they already embody that beautiful version they so desperately seek. They forget that their beauty truly comes from their own inner world and the amazing gifts that lie in there. They are creative geniuses, in every sense of the word. Similarly to Venus-Ketu/South Node natives.
I’ve personally noticed they tend to succumb to enhancing their bodies wether permanently or temporarily, as they initially may try to pursue their best outward self. They crave for others to see them, as they feel within.
It is advised for these natives to be extra careful when involved in romantic scenarios and with the uses of substances that can make them feel more connected to their inner world or the spiritual realm. You are already tied to the universe’s waves by nature, and without much effort. Instead of pouring the oceans of love you have to others all the time, do it instead consciously towards your passion, creativity, and those who are truly interested in your well being.
Note: Venus in the 12th house can also apply to this post to a certain extend.
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