the great irony of early one piece antagonists believing zoro was the actual captain and using luffy as a puppet ... oda really threw us a bone and curb-stomped it right in our faces. yes, zoro could be a captain in his own right. yes, zoro could match luffy in strength. yes, zoro knows this perfectly well. and you know what? he chose luffy two years ago, and he will continue to choose luffy again and again. roronoa zoro, the pirate hunter, who followed a wannabe pirate with a nonexistent crew on a whim because luffy brought him his swords and made a half-assed attempt at a bargain. zoro, who made a vow to never lose again on both his and luffy's honor. zoro, who told luffy he'd make him commit harakiri if he got in the way of zoro's goal, only to turn around and be willing to sacrifice his dream if it means that luffy reaches his. zoro, who stood in place and took luffy's pain and told a warlord to take his head instead of luffy's, who got down on his knees before his supposed rival and begged mihawk to mentor him so that he could return strong enough to protect his captain. zoro, who has conqueror's haki- a natural born leader- but chooses to stay at the right hand of a man he has deemed greater than himself.
and the thing that luffy fears most? being alone. being rejected. being left behind. and what should have been his foil- the pirate hunter to his pirate king, the nonbeliever to his divine, the king of hell to his sun god- instead becomes his first and most devout follower; the one who demands to follow him to hell and back. oughhhggg i'm sick to my stomach
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literally where can the zelda franchise go after totk. this is it. we've reached it. the pinnacle of video game entertainment. the whole dev team should just pack their stuff and enjoy a long and comfortable retirement. whoever decides their team has to follow-up on that with the next zelda game should answer for their crimes at the hague. what the fuck. I haven't even beat the game yet but what the fuck.
and how are AAA video game devs everywhere not losing their minds. how the hell did nintendo do any of that? and on that console?? you mean to tell me I can stack 15 differently shaped objects on top of each other and they don't vibrate violently into the skybox?? you mean to tell me the physics engine gladly accepts whatever I throw at it and holds it all together without dropping a frame while running on a machine that was outclassed two generations ago??? this is not witchcraft it's a grandiose demonstration of mastery over every aspect of game development that casts an immense shadow over every other AAA studio. fuck. fuck!!!!
everything about this game is crazy to me. the visuals are crazy. the soudtrack is crazy. the complexity of all systems and how they interact is crazy. the sheer amount of non-repeating content, NPCs, quests, dialogue, puzzles, environment variety - all crazy to me. every time I boot up this game I am humbled by the monumental effort and obvious love that went into every facet of the resulting experience. no cut corners anywhere. mirror-perfect chrome polish.
it's so rare we get something like that, in any field. I'd understand if nintendo never made a zelda game ever again because how do you follow that. god I hope everyone who worked on this game got the fattest check and the sloppiest head. I'm so happy I get to live in shigeru miyamoto's world
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One night at the Hotel, they're scrolling through HellFlix and Vaggie suddenly gasps.
Vaggie: NO FUCKING WAY! It's finally on here!
Charlie: What? You find a show you like?
Vaggie: Not just "like", this is the best show EVER! I've wanted to binge it with you for years!
Charlie: Oh, neat! So, what show is it? What's it about?
Vaggie: I got three words for you, babe. Xena. Warrior. Princess!
SHE WILL RULE IN HELL AT LAST! HER TV SHOW SHALL REIGN SUPREME IN THE HEARTS OF THE MOST DANGEROUS BEINGS IN HELL!!!!! there is just ONE worrying part to that though....
Charlie: "Wait, she kills the king of hell?"
Vaggie: "It's not a historically accurate show babe don't worry about it."
Charlie: "Still... now I'm picturing her murdering my dad. Not sure how to feel about it..."
Lucifer: (intensely eating popcorn behind them) "Well I'd feel GREAT about it!"
Charlie: "Wh- Dad!?"
Lucifer: "It would be an honor."
Charlie: "To be KILLED by her???"
Lucifer: "Of course! Look at her snarling war face! Look at her THIGHS-"
Charlie: "DAD!!!!!"
Vaggie: (sighing) "Wish I was king of hell so she'd murder me..."
Lucifer: "Poor Maggie." (pats her) "There there, maybe Xena- or Gabrielle might be better seeing as you've been cheering every time she comes on screen- maybe they'd agree to murder the princess consort of hell too?"
Vaggie: "I uhhhh- s-sir, me and Charlie, we're not-"
Lucifer: "Right yes of course! Future princess consort."
Vaggie: "Ffffffuture-?"
Charlie: "DAD HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ABOUT XENA!? YOU ARE STILL MARRIED TO MOM!"
Lucifer: "Ohhh Char-Char.... Lilith would be FIRST in line for death at the hands of this warrior princess lady and her gal pal. Especially if they used those amazing thighs of theirs to-"
Vaggie: "Sir, please don't finish that sentence and ruin the best show in all creation for my girlfriend by adding more family trauma."
Lucifer: "Whoops! Gosh am I saying too much now? Oh golly, my bad my bad, ha ha ha!"
Charlie: "...."
Vaggie: "Sweetie? Wanna switch the show off for a while?"
Charlie: "....actually, Vaggie..."
Vaggie: "?"
Charlie: "... D'you think we could get a Xena costume in your size?"
Lucifer: (jaw drops)
Vaggie: "Hhhhh... I- yeah, probably? I mean.... this is hell, and her outfit is mostly leather, so...."
Charlie: "Would you wanna wearrrrr it~?"
Lucifer: (drops popcorn)
Vaggie: "Do you even have to ask?"
Charlie: "Mmmm heheh- but I like setting a good example, and you know I loooove it when people ask~"
-THUD-
Charlie: "ohshitballsdickfuck- DAD-"
Vaggie: "Hostia!"
Lucifer: "IM FINE! AHAHAHA"
Charlie: "Dad- dad im so SORRY i forgot you were here-!"
Lucifer: "NO NO I HEARD NOTHING AND AM A-O-KAYYY!!!!"
Charlie: "You fell face first onto your own cane! You're BLEEDING!"
Lucifer: "Everything is fine! Once I've been sick into this bag of popcorn i will be extra specially FINE and our little impromptu family tv night together is going SO SPLENDEDLY WELL, isn't it Maggie!?"
Vaggie: "Ajo y agua..."
Charlie: "VAGGIE HELP- THE BLOOD??"
Vaggie: (sighing) (smiling) (standing up)
Vaggie: "...I'll go get the first aid kit."
-silly bonus-
Niffty: (from under couch) "I'll trade you the first aid kit for a vile of his bloooooood~~"
Charlie, Vaggie, Lucifer: (screaming and jumping on the couch and clinging to each other in terror)
Niffty: "Don't worry!" (giggles) "It's just for my Collection~"
Charlie, Vaggie, Lucifer: (screaming LOUDER)
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