#what's this dude and his THREE names tho!???!1

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff drabble no3. gojo as a cat dad

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader

ᰔ drabble summary. gojo tried to give you a little kitten as an apology, but you weren’t able to take it in, so he ends up becoming a cat dad. (note: for new readers, this is in continuation of my long fic gojo x reader series “kickoff”!! masterlist is linked below)

ᰔ main storyline summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem reader, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot, marijuana use, sexism, sexual harassment (verbal only)

ᰔ chapter. drabble #3

ᰔ words. 2.3k

a/n. hellooo!! this is such a silly little drabble lol, basically just gojo falling in love w a kitty. kickoff reader does make an appearance tho haha. this will be the last drabble before we move on to ch11 :) hope u enjoy!! <3

nav. masterlist

☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1 :: ♬.*ﾟplaylist

“Wait what? He’s gotta get his balls chopped off someday?”

Gojo holds the tuxedo kitten, which as of two seconds ago is now officially his and shall be named mr. grand theft auto (mr gta for short) up into the air as he examines him like he’s some novel beast.

“Yes,” Nanami affirms on the other line before releasing a deep exhale, “at around ten weeks old, you’ll have to get him neutered.”

“How do I know how old he is?” Gojo asks, twiddling his thumb back and forth to give mr gta something to chase with his paws in an attempt to distract.

“You’ll have to take the kitten to the vet,” Nanami tells him. “They’ll need to check for fleas, parasites, and give any relevant vaccinations.”

Gojo scratches the back of his head and sets mr gta down on his desk, which the Soot Sprite runs to the edge of and almost knocks over Gojo’s half-finished can of Red Bull. Gojo picks him up again, and he hears a tiny little mew squeak out.

“Did you check with Suguru or Hide or Sota if they would be fine with keeping a cat in the house?” Nanami asks.

“No.”

“That’s the first thing you should do.”

“Ehhh I’m sure they’d be fine with it,” Gojo replies before settling mr. gta into the nook of his elbow and then grabbing his keys. He pets his pocket for his wallet, and then heads out of his room, down the stairs, and outside to the driveway to get inside his car. He plops Fluff Ball onto his dashboard, and then realizes he’s still got Nanami on the line.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” he brings his phone back up to his ear, “did you say something.”

A long pause. “I’ve been giving you instructions this entire time.”

Nanami apparently had three cats growing up, it was one of the first things Gojo learned about him during some Icebreakers for Rush. But his knowledge is wasted on Gojo, who’s more keen on winging most things in life.

“Where did you find this kitten?” Nanami asks.

“In the bushes,” Gojo says as he pulls out of the driveway, “over on Main street. Took the scenic route on my run this morning.”

“And why decide to keep it?”

Gojo pulls his phone from his ear to check the directions on his phone for a brief second, a little too lazy to connect BlueTooth to his car for a seven minute drive. “Uh. Well, I tried to give it to y/n, but she didn’t want it. Er, she couldn’t have it, so, I figured I’d keep it.” He glances between his rearview mirror and mr. gta as he turns onto the street. “The little thing’s homeless and cute, so why not. Also kinda ugly, though. His fur looks like he’s been struck by lightning.”

Nanami sighs, then catches his breath briefly. “You found a dirty flea-covered kitten in the bushes and then tried to abandon it with y/n when she can’t even have it, and then abruptly decided you’ll take care of it? I would encourage some self reflection.”

Gojo gets to the closest veterinarian office he could find, mr gta in hand when he walks through the door with the jingle of a bell at the top, which his kitten becomes instantly intrigued with as it tilts its head up to the noise.

“Hi,” Gojo says as he approaches the receptionist desk, where he sees a girl probably around his age wearing bright blue scrubs sitting there at a catastrophically messy desk cluttered with pens and clipboards and certainly not enough space for the gigantic keyboard underneath the computer.

She looks up from her computer at Gojo, and blinks a few times in surprise before addressing him. Gojo wonders if she’s new to the job. “Hello! Name for the appointment?”

“Oh, I don’t have an appointment,” Gojo says, setting mr gta up on the high raised counter, and he feels the fur of his tiny tail brush against his hand before a tiny rough tongue starts to lick at his knuckle. “I found this kitten in the bushes, so I just wanted someone to take a look at him. Or her? I’m, like, 90% sure it’s a boy, but you guys are the experts.”

Crescents form under her eyes in amusement before she flutters her eyes back to the computer screen. “Sorry, we don’t take walk-ins,” she says as she busies herself with clicking sporadically across pixels that he can’t see.

“Can’t make an exception?” Gojo asks, setting his elbow up on the counter and mr gta instantly starts scratching at his skin. He watches her expression change from business to something else before pushing away from the desk, chair springing when she gets up from it.

“I can check with the doctor for you!” she chirps and disappears into the hallway. Gojo looks down at mr gta, who’s staring off in the direction she went before he starts licking his paw.

The vet makes an exception, but not without a twenty minute wait. Gojo briefly wonders what being a veterinarian would be like, getting to hold tiny cute kittens like mr gta—who, by the way, is indeed a mister—all day. But, he figures there’s probably downsides to it too, since not all their patients are probably as sweet as mr gta is when he gets his shots. Cute thing just winces a little from the needle then chirps a drawled meow before shaking his head and wobbling right back into Gojo’s hands at the edge of the metal table. God, Gojo was attached. It hasn’t even been three hours, and he’d already jump in front of an active shooter just to protect the little Black Ball with Mittens.

Well, some of the love diminishes when he realizes just how damn expensive the vet visit cost as the receptionist from earlier adds up services on her dated calculator with punches of her index finger on worn out buttons. Gojo pulls his wallet out of his pocket and hands her his credit card, and even though it’s just the plastic equivalent of cash, he still feels like it’s much lighter somehow when she hands it back to him. She prints out the receipt, licking her thumb to separate the customer copy from the office’s copy and hands the latter to him to sign. The puff ball tied at the end of the pen intrigues mr gta who swats his paw at it while Gojo makes quick work of his signature and hands it over the counter. He’s about to turn on his heel to head out the door in no need of the customer copy, when the receptionist squeaks out a wait and scribbles something onto it before handing it to him. He glances down at the ballpoint blue ink. The total that he paid in written out words, a large circle drawn around a free future check-up coupon, and beneath it, a phone number with a heart next to it. He finally clocks in on the flirting.

His now healthy kitten is captivated by the noise of the bell above the door again when Gojo makes his way through it, and then captivated by the sound of plastic paper crumpling in his hand when he tosses the receipt into a trash can outside of receptionist desk view. It’s not like he needed it, he can’t return vaccines.

“So you’re cool with it?’ Gojo asks, Suguru on the other line since he wasn’t home and he was the last one of his housemates he had to check with if keeping mr gta was alright or not. Not that Gojo would drop the little guy off at a shelter if one of the guys did say they didn’t want a cat in the house. He’d sooner drop one of his housemates off at the shelter than get rid of mr gta.

Suguru sighs through the receiver. “I guess it’s fine as long as you take care of it…but it’s weird, you’ve never cared much for cats?”

Gojo’s eyes flicker across the ceiling of his room as he lays on his bed, swinging his knee back and forth before adjusting his hand under his neck to get more comfortable. His gaze then flits down to mr gta, who is roaming the expanse of his chest and plucking at the fabric of Gojo’s shirt with every step he takes across it. Purring like a maniac where the sound is probably loud enough to interrupt Nanami’s wim hof breathing meditation exercises three houses down from here.

Gojo pulls the phone away from his ear and tucks his chin to look mr gta straight in the eye. “Dude. Could you keep it down? I’m on the phone.”

Electrocuted Puff Ball just stares at him and mews in defiance before using its hind leg to scratch behind its ear, then settles its head down on the center of Gojo’s chest, the rumble of purrs felt on his sternum.

Gojo brings the phone back to his ear. He considers how to answer Suguru, thinking can’t let the gang know I fw cute cats all of a sudden so instead he says— “I don’t know. It’s probably the cat parasite.”

“The what?” Suguru asks.

Gojo scratches the top of mr gta’s head as he puts Suguru on speaker then peruses a WikiHow article on his phone on how to care for babies. Apparently, skin to skin contact is very important, so he shoves mr gta underneath the fabric of his shirt. “Yeah, something about a parasite from cats that can infect humans and basically make us fall in love with them as some sort of survival strategy. I read about it on the mews—er, news. Mews? What the fuck. I just said mews instead of news. See?? It’s the fuckin’ cat parasite.”

He hears Suguru sigh. “Aight. Whatever floats your boat, dude.”

Gojo’s phone pings with a text notification, and when he sees your name flash across his screen, his eyes widen. “Uh, gotta go. See ya at home. Don’t forget the cat food.” And then he hangs up. Because he can’t talk to you and concentrate on anything else at the same time.

He sits up, catching mr gta when he falls towards his lap in the motion, and then he perches himself up on an elbow to read your texts.

|| 10:24am You: hi, sorry for kicking you out earlier today

|| 10:24am You: i was just a little sad about the kitty :(

He sees you typing, before the bubble disappears. He holds his breath. And then he sees you typing again.

|| 10:26am You: i’m on my period, so im’ a little emotional

Gojo blinks at his screen. Then his thumbs move to type.

|| 10:28am Gojo Satoru: Oh

He scans his brain for the right thing to say.

|| 10:29am Gojo Satoru: Are you doing okay? Do you need Ibuprofen

He feels mr gta’s warm little body press against his torso.

|| 10:30 Gojo Satoru: Or a heating pad?

Nailed it.

|| 10:32am You: aw no i’m ok!! thanks though :))

|| 10:32am You: did you keep the kitty?

His eyes flicker down to mr gta, who has fully fallen asleep in his lap. Dumb little thing. Doesn’t even know pythagoras’s theorum, or anything about the Roman Empire. Only knows warmth and whiskers. But if anything bad ever happened to mr gta, Gojo would probably end up in jail for the revenge he wreaks havoc on the perpetrators.

|| 10:24am Gojo Satoru: I did, yeah. Victim of the cat parasite

|| 10:26am You: cat parasite??

|| 10:26am You: what’s that

|| 10:28am Gojo Satoru: Some parasite that makes people like cats

|| 10:29am Gojo Satoru: [sent an article]

|| 10:29am Gojo Satoru: Saw it on the news

|| 10:31am You: don’t you mean

|| 10:31am You: the mews

|| 10:31am You: haha get it

|| 10:31am You: because of mew

He blinks at his phone screen, and then his lips purse. The cuteness aggression he has felt today is enough to kill a grown man, and he has to set his phone down to deal with the wide grin that spreads across his face from your messages. He rubs a hand across his mouth and over his jaw, to ease the sore to the cheeks of his muscles from the way he can’t help the stupid way he’s cheesing over you, and it’s almost embarrassing if it didn’t make his heart beat fast in his chest in the same flush way he feels at the end of a good run or an exciting soccer match.

And while he tries to contain his face despite the lack of any witnesses, except for the kitten curled up in his lap, he realizes it’s been minutes since he responded to you.

He falls back onto the bed, head hitting the pillow while he sets his hand holding his phone down on his chest to read your message. Mr gta crawls up from his lap to sit in front of his phone screen, and Gojo has to tilt his head to look past the obstructing view of his wispy floofy tail.

|| 10:35am you: sorry. was that lame :(

Mr gta meows incessantly at the phone as if in response to you. “Yeahhh I know. She’s really cute, isn’t she.” And then Gojo scratches behind his pointy little ear with his index finger. Mr gta entirely leans into the sensation, purring loudly almost on command before he’s meowing again in a tiny voice.

Mr gta reaches his paw out, pressing it against the bright screen of Gojo’s phone, typing nonsensical letters because he doesn’t know the English lexicon, or any lexicon for that matter other than purr and meow and hiss.

Gojo thinks nothing of it, until his paw accidentally presses the blue send button.

|| 10:37am Gojo Satoru: sjhdfhh

|| 10:38am You: huh?

|| 10:39am Gojo Satoru: Sorry

|| 10:39am Gojo Satoru: That was the cat

.

.

.

[the end]

a/n. hope u enjoyeeddd lol gojo as a cat dad was not in my plans for kickoff at all but this was fun to write alskdjdh i want a lil kitty so baaaaad </3 anywho, like i mentioned, this will be the last drabble from ch10 haha we shall move on to ch11 now 😼 but there will def be more mr gta appearances in kickoff bc that’s gojo’s lil baby now :”) thanks sm for reading!! love u guys

taglist: @megumisdivinedogs @witchbybirth @avatarl0v3r @mwtsxri @asherheed

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@luniunia @alekssashka7 @beabadobeee @thexmistress @tsukikourito

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note: please send me an ask if your taglist preferences change at any time!!

[luffyvace]

The Luffy Package ☠️📦

(General & relationship headcanons as well as Luffy quotes (relationship implied) for his big day!!)

had to go all out for my fav 😊🤭

General Luffy headcanons:

Luffy has nails so short dirt can’t get under it 😭

not necessarily the booty diggers 🤭

but just really short, like almost booty digger ig—but not it

he has like 1% nail

its not intentional, they just never grow

i have a feeling someone taught luffy how to dance

idk who

it was likely makino, shanks or some else he cares deeply about

but he learned early on and has been a great dancer ever since!

maybe at parties since they happen a lot in one piece ⭐️

But just because someone taught him doesn’t mean he was awful at dancing at first

maybe he was a natural!

feel the rhythm typa thing 🎶 🕺

it’d be funny if he was

cuz imagine a guy that can dance but can’t sing

how you gon dance on beat to a out of tune song?? 😭

at least to uta anyway

ive always loved Luffy’s singing‼️

he never thinks about what the one piece is

but would be the most disappointed if it isn’t something cool

this dude is NOT interested in books so if the one piece really is just joyboy’s tale i don’t think he’ll be satisfied..😭 (I’m talking about the theory)

he definitely wouldn’t say it was all for nothin tho

he still has nakama, treasure and is the pirate king!! 👑

but…the one piece as books is just a mega L for him

Robin will enjoy ♡

you know that thing he does where he stretches his face real big? Like the time he was tryna cheer nami up when she was sick? And it scared vivi and zoro?

he scared himself when he first realized he could do that too

he was bored and started messing around with his devil fruit

at first he was outside and he stretched his mouth, and when realized he could see inside it, he was like ‘I wonder what this looks like’

so he went inside and did it into a mirror

he somehow managed to trash the whole bathroom running away from his reflection

he quickly got over it and realized it was kinda funny

he showed Ace and sabo who also found it terrifying

then preceded to scare people with it ever since

d end! :)

I feel like he’s thought about what the ‘D’ in his name stands for too

He came up with a bunch of outrageous names that likely aren’t it..

”Dingus?”

”Donkey?”

”Demarto?”

”Doorbell?”

”Dinosaur?”

yeah, dinosaur seems the most plausible 😊

Luffy Dinosaur Monkey!

‘HEY THAT SOUNDS COOL 🤩’

yup, that’s probably what it stands for 😁

sneaks into the usopp factory whenever he’s not in there

he ends up playing with his creations and destroys, it, other projects, and the factory altogether in the progress

he then runs out laughing

usopp later returns to the ruins only to find his months work of his greatest creation yet named “ultimate captain usopp three thousand smasher” has been reduced to fragments of metal nothing ☺️

listen idk if oda has confirmed Luffy’s favorite color but I would say it’s none

why? The same reason why you can’t ask a toddler their’s, it’s just gonna constantly change and you know it’s not the truth

arguably, if I had to pick an actual color based off canon, (IK it’s a shade but wtv) it’d be white

why? wym? Don’t you remember that one ep where luffy sang a song about how he loves snow cuz it’s so white?

(one of his lesser talked about songs 😭💗)

Relationship Luffy headcanons:

Luffy as a partner is really rambunctious and loving

But do note that loving doesn’t always mean romantic

for him it means loving you a lot but not being lovey dovey when showing it

you need protecting? He’s on the case!! He can’t and he has to beat someone up? One of your nakama’ll do it so stay with them!

your strong? Perfect! He’s gonna go fight this guy so you go beat up that one!

why am I mentioning that? Because it shows he has a great sense of trust and faith in you

Of course he does with all his friends but your reasoning is different

not only are you his nakama, your also his partner!! Which means he loves you in a intimate way!! Not just platonically

I say “just” because I swear sometimes Luffy’ll feel like a friend with you (best friends and lover typa thing 💞) he’s just as goofy and chaotic with you as he is Usopp and chopper

he feels extra lively when around you and always wants to play, whether you like this or not. Your personality depends a lot on how your relationship with him is but I won’t dabble into that today because it’s his birthday. 🎉 but honestly it doesn’t matter if you punch him like nami or laugh like brook-

he’s still gonna bug you! 💖 seriously you can’t get rid of this dude 🤨 Luffy will drag you on every single one of his adventures so I hope your either brave or fearless like him. The only time you two separate and he allows it is when he’s fighting the boss type thing LOL. Like Doflamingo or smth.

that said Luffy isn’t clingy he just likes being around you and seeing what your doing. Especially when you haven’t landed on an island yet and he’s bored. He’s always singing, playing with your face (ironic cuz he’s the stretchy one) or trying to get you to play some silly game he made up

that usually somehow manages to tick everyone off. 🤷‍♀️

will grab your hands randomly and make you dance to some song he made up about literally anything he sees or feels

he even made one about YOU once :3

”OOOOOHHH your my partner! Yes my partner! We’re having lots of fun! Going on adventures- YAHOO!! And dancing a ton! We’ll dance all arcross the grand line!! Take your hats off and let them fly!! YIPPIE!! We’re having a graaaaand TIIIIIIIME!” 😁🕺

Luffy quotes: (implied relationship between you two)

”HEY LOOK DO YOU SEE THAT ISLAND!! Cmoncmoncmoncmoncmoncmon!! HURRY UP I WANNA GO EXPLORING!!”

”can you sneak in the kitchen and steal some food from sanji? I’m really hungry and he won’t let me in anymore!!”

”LETS HAVE A PARTY!!!” — “we don’t need a reason! CMON!’ CHEERS!”

”lets tame that thing and make it our pet!!”

”what should we name em?” — “Junpi? SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!!” (You didn’t get a chance to respond 💕)

”HEY LOOK A RESTAURANT!! Grab on I’ll rocket us there!! HURRY UP IM HUNGRYYY!!”

”hey! Do you have any food on you?? I’m hungry!”

”Liar!! I can smell it!!”

”take a bath?! I don’t stink!!— EUGH!- okay yeah maybe….but I don’t wanna take a bath!! I’ll get all tired!”

”I’ll leave you with that guy! So go kick some butt! I’ll deal with that red forehead guy!!” (AN: There’s no actual red forehead guy that’s canon, I made it up 👍)

”⁉️ HEY WHAT HAPPENED?! Did that guy beat you up?! I’ll send him flying!! 💢”

”Shishishishi! Shh! Watch this! I’m gonna drop this on Usopp’s head! 🤭😂”

”Lets play a gaaaaame!! I’m so bored! 😞”

”can I have some of your food?” *Already stuffing a piece in his mouth* (the point is it’s not the whole thing ⁉️😱)

”HE LOOK MY BOUNTY WENT UP!! 🤩🤩‼️“

”Isn’t this fun?! 😆” (having a near death experience)

”don’t worry! My injuries don’t hurt at all! See? I’m dancing! I’m having fun!”

”oops. Sorry.”

”look!” (Two chop sticks stuffed up his nose and mouth)

”WOAHH A MAN KILLING BEAR!! LETS GO CHECK IT OUT! 🤩” (even if you wanted to say no your already being hoisted over there because you weren’t running fast enough for him)

”plan? Never mind that!! Let’s go! We’re gonna kick that butt head guys’ butt!!” (AN: another fictional villain I made up on a whim)

”HOLD ON TIGHT” (Gum Gum Rockets with hardly any warning)

”let’s play a game!! It’s called steal zoro’s swords without waking up zoro!! 😁”

”nyop!” (Puts you atop his shoulders 💓)

”nyop!” (Jumps on your back almost knocking you over 💝)

”look at my disguise! Nobody will suspect us! 😎👍”

”Cmere!” (Pulls you into his lap)

”HI! Is it almost time for dinner yet?” (Plops down in your lap)

Thanks for supporting me and my work—as well as my random disappearances too 💗🤗

Everyone! Say it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUFFY‼️‼️

[konata-izumi-kinny-writes]

Rescue Bots x Reader romantic hcs

Seperate

[A/n: I know its weird that i like these four. Shish.]

Anyways here yall go.

Heatwave

Beeg frumpy man

Literally just picked you up and said, "I love you. You're mine now." And walked off with you

Hes a tsundere at first but grows softer the longer you're with him.

Fr he needs someone who'll listen to him rant or smth without making fun of him

Give this big boi a hug

He'll be confused, but he'll grow to like it

Kiss the big man.

He got BIG soft lips, well, big compared to you but you get the point.

You may be wondering how the flip they're soft.

The answer is, 'a flip ton of bendy cords and fuel lines layered with some memory foam and waterproof carbon fiber cloth' (same goes for the others)

Another thing you can do is pepper his face plates with kisses

Automatically starts blushing.

VERY protective and lowkey jealous

He carries you around like a baby. Theres no reason for it, thats just what he does. If Kade has any snarky remarks to say about it, you bet Heatwave is gonna clap back with something better.

Treats you like glass.

You're just so teeny tiny compared to him and he doesn't want to hurt you.

He'll feel absolutely terrible if he does.

Despite all of that though, he does generally treat you like a normal person. As well as letting you have your own life.

Do NOT make self deprivating jokes around this dude. For multiple reasons.

1, they make him stressed and sad (he won't admit that hes sad in front of the others tho)

2, It automatically triggers him to be even MORE protective

3, Heatwave will aggressively tell you how much he loves you and how pretty/handsome you are

For example,

'*Squishes your face with his fingers*, "Shush. You're fragging amazing. Say anything like that again, and i'm snuggling you for the entire godamn day."'

He doesn't yell at you though. Just has an aggressive tone.

He does the same for any insecurities you have too.

Oh, and he means every word he says when it comes to his bellicose praises.

"...I warned you, Dear."

*proceeds to pick you up in his hands and lay down somewhere while holding you against his chassis*

LOTS of kisses. Like for real you'll be out of breath when he's done with you.

It doesn't end there either.

He sometimes puts you in the passenger seat if there's an emergency so he can still keep an eye on you.

Depends on the emergency

He gets angrier than usual if you're the one in danger, he only calms down once you're safe.

Chase

He loves and supports you so much aaa-

He was VERY blunt when he confessed to you

"(Name). Forgive me for saying but I have fallen in love with you, and wish for you to be my conjunx endura. You don't have to feel the same, but you have the right to know."

He was lowkey surprised when you said you felt the same

Chase proceeded to kneel down and pull you into a hug. You responded with hugging him back along with a kiss on the faceplates, the rest is history.

He loves any kind of affection you give him, just don't use sarcasm, he can't pick up on it.

His love language is usually physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time

Chase only wants three things from you throughout this relationship.

Your happiness, your affection, and your safety.

Though he does want to keep you safe he's not really overprotective.

He insists on carrying you if you're somewhere where one of them could step on you.

You used to go on patrol with him...

Until you almost got merc'd by a haywire lawn mower.

Since then you stay at base, and he always looks forward to seeing you run up to him when he gets back.

Hes not a fan of scary movies, but he'll be fine if you're holding his hand or hugging him.

Bring an inhaler, you'll need it for how much he'll make you laugh

At this point he's still trying to learn human culture... that (un)fortunately includes slang

"(Name), look. I have acquired an 'annelid on a string'"

"Dearest conjunx, what is 'Goated with the sauce' and why does a caprine have a condiment?"

"(Name), what does it mean to 'simp' for someone?"

Whether you feed this fire or not is up to you.

Pet names include; Dearest, Honey, Love, My Light, My Conjunx Endura, ....scrinkle (I'm not sorry)

Despite the mixups with slang, hes still pretty damn blunt.

Not to mention, even with how monotonous Chase is pretty romantic when hes talking to you.

This means that you can tell that he's being honest whenever he starts whispering sweet nothings to you.

And Chase mean everything he says.

And he always looks you in the eyes when he says one specific line, just so you know he really means it.

"I love you"

Blades

Oml hes so friggin nervous.

He didn't confess to you... Kade did

He heard Blades talking to Dani about you so he decided to mess with him.

"HEY (NAME), BLADES TOTALLY HAS A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU!!"

"NO I DON'T, SHISH!!!"

He only admitted it once you said you felt the same

"...you do!? This isn't a cruel joke right?... I.. love you too."

He leaned down and gave you a kiss on the forehead

HES SO SWEET TO YOU

Lots of snuggles, hand holding, kisses, hugs, carrying you around, you name it!

Flip, he loves touching you in general.

You're just so squishy compared to his kind, he can't help but be enamored

Big touch-starved snugglebug

He likes watching tv with you on his chest

Sometimes the baking shows he comes across motivate him to bake something for you.

Half the time its good, half the time it isn't.

Pet names are; Sweetie, Honey Bunny, Cupcake, Lil Squisha, and My Spark if he's feeling really romantic

Don't yell at him please :(

He will be more anxious and sad if you do.

Its enough from others, it hurts more if its from you.

Unless you're happy and excited. He'll be yelling with you.

Very protective and jealous

He isn't too overbearing with it though

Hes just nervous and scared

Nervous about something/someone hurting you, and scared that someone will take you from him.

Thats why he doesn't take you with him on missions, even with how much he misses you.

Please comfort him when hes scared, he REALLY needs it.

Blades loves your laugh so much

He'll find the cheesiest jokes to say just to get the smallest noise out of you.

He'll be very impressed with whatever talent you have, and will try his best to support you.

KISS THE BEEG NERVOUS BOIBOI

He needs it... badly.

Will immediately turn blue and get extremely flustered, but he loves it and won't stop you

He gives you little trinkets he finds at random... well, they're little to him.

"Y/N! I got something for you :3" *Proceeds to place the biggest tumbleweed you've ever seen right in front of you*

Sometimes, Blades legit out of nowhere picks you and and carries you somewhere where nobody else is around

He proceeds to lay down and put you on his chest

Totally peppers your face in kisses before looking you right in your eyes and saying how much he loves you.

"I love you so much, Honey bunny. You're my little cupcake and i won't give you up for anything or anyone. I promise."

Boulder

Hes so sweet to you

It took some encouragement and advice from Gram for him to confess to you, but he did it!

He went out and picked a bouquet for you too

He sat down criss cross applesauce and told you how he felt after taking a deep breath.

"(Name)... I have.. developed some strong feelings for you.. romantic ones. You don't have to say yes, but i still want to ask.. will you please be my love for life?"

You of course said yes and gave him a hug before he could even give you your bouquet

He closed his eyes and returned the hug, all the while rubbing your back.

Dates at the zoo are a must. Obviously. Like cmon now. This is Boulder we're talking about.

Will bring you random plants and animals and ask if he can keep them

If not that, then he'll pick flowers and other plants for you. Ofc he makes sure theyre not spiky.

He paints for you.

GIVE HIM SMOOCHES

Theres nothing he loves more than your lips

Well- he loves your tummy too.

Its a tie

ANYWAYS-

SNUGGLE THE BIG HIMBO HE NEEDS IT

(They all do but you get the point)

Like Heatwave, he carries you like a baby. But he just does it because he thinks you're cute.

Like for real, to Boulder, you're the cutest little fleshy he's ever seen.

Until he sees a baby.

He looks at you with the most "🥺" expression ever

"[Name]-"

"No we're not having a baby, bubbas. Sorry"

"🥺"

His pet names for you are; Dearest, Bunny, My Flower, Small one, Sweetie, Dove, Angelfish, Wifey/Hubby/Lovey (whichever you prefer or identify as)

He loves you, but no. You can't go w him on emergencies.

Literally on the verge of tears if you're the one in danger

If that happens, prepare to be snuggled for 3 days straight.

[scrunglepaws]

Tried to fit all my fic ideas on one page, but I still forgot some because they're like... scrawled on random pieces of paper all over my house/in different notebooks/ect. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I tried!

The little branchy-offy things are prequels/sequels of that particular series. Bleeped out things I thought might be spoiler-y to ongoing series. Things with * are super WIP-y titles because I dunno what to call them.

More ramblings under the cut! (Nothing spoilery for the ongoing series; just vague things!)

No Heroes Zone // - I have a lot more generalized worldbuilding, character notes, ect than actual stories. The story ideas are mostly vague/short... Though, I suppose I could stand to write some super short fics. - The exception is an angsty sonighty fic that's basically done, but I just have to fill in all the inbetween, connecty bits. And decide how sonighty-y I really want to go with it. That ship came outta nowhere, I tell ya. - NHZ is really mostly Tails (and Metal) angst, tho. The other day I was thinking about how he tries to latch onto Shadow and even Metal in the absence of having Sonic and was like "Wow, Tails, clingy much? What are you, Nine???" then I felt really bad. T-T; He just misses his brother...!

Kaleidoscope // - The name of this fic is based on an art piece I've been wanting to do for forever: A kaleidoscope of Tails/Nine/Mangey, looking at each other and seeing them each from their own perspective. Because that's the theme of the whole story, funky scifi weirdness aside. But uh, 1) didn't have a decent digital art program for a bit and 2) I'm not good enough at drawing the subtle differences in their appearances to really make it hit how I wanted. Also 3) Tails looks basically the same to all three of them, lmao. - "Mangey Remembers" is Mangey's backstory and "Loneliness*" is... Less of a backstory for Nine, more of a brief showcase of his character in general. Because we already know Nine's whole deal from canon. Same reason Tails doesn't have a backstory- he's supposed to be canon Tails. - "Starless Sky" and "Ruination*" are both poteeeential sequels, but I'm not set on doing them. Ruination would just be a short, noncanon "what if?" bad ending for the heck of it.

Someplace AU (Aquarius) // - Also halfway calling it Aquarius for now because I ended up continuing the first part of the story under that fic name.

- It was originally more focused on Sails, hence Someplace being a play on No Place. But now it's about equally Kit and Sails. I ended up getting SO MANY effing ideas for these dudes, man. ;w;

- "Hollow Existence*" isn't a specific story, but just a sprinkling of scenes/backstory bits that detail why Kit is the way he is. Mostly his relationship with Surge growing up.

- "Sails' Tales" is likewise a collection of random Sails backstory bits. I have a lot more specific/fleshed out things for him, though. BUDDY, did I have fun with the No Place lore. Also, his relationships with Catfish and Black Rose are so cute... ;A;

- The bits to the right are basically going to be chapters in Aquarius. They're vague enough not to be spoilery (other than the blipped ones...)

- "=D?" is a sequel that I'm very excited about. Probably shouldn't say much beyond that.

Everything Else // - CaveTails is a Journey to the Center of the Earth-esque silly, silly thing. That could maybe become a bit more serious? BAsically, I was thinking "Huh, kind of weird that my main kittails fic is with Sails. That'd be funny if I did ones with Nine and Mangey, too. Just for the lulz. Especially the Mangey one." This is the Mangey one. xD Except he's sort of like... Tails AND Mangey at the same time, character-wise? So? :? Also, potentially some wholesome Sonic+Tails moments because I weirdly haven't written any of those yet.

- "Kids" is just a continuation of that goofy Tails Doll+Cream oneshot. Just small ideas for another chapter or two. Cute friendship, fluff, and lots of comfort to make up for the hurt in the first chapter. :3;;

- "Alien*" is what it says on the tin. I have a couple different ideas for how it could go. One of them boots out Silver entirely and had Metal in his place. xD But I might have enough material to write an alien Silver AND alien Metal fic. We'll see whenever I get around to it. :3

- "Nine's Shadow*" is something I've wanted to write ever since I made that joke oc, Stales the Fox aka Zombie Tails variant from the Grim. Probably just a oneshot (or a few short chapters) fic that mostly focuses on Nine being "all alone" after the ending of Sonic Prime.

- "Why is Babies?*" is the second idea I had for a fic. It's just Shadow being awkward and not knowing how to look after a chunk of the main cast that are suddenly tots for unknown reasons. It's very lighthearted, comedic, and cute. Originally a Shadow+Metal fic until I learned more about Eclipse and just HAD to include him. Dude is literally a struggling single parent in canon, how could I not include him in a story about his brother going through something similar? xD Also, I might call this fic "Rascals" as a reference to that one Star Trek episode with a similar premise. Because! Star Trek. 8D

- "The Fifth Element" ... I have put off posting anything about this fic idea for so long because I'm EMBARRASSED IT'S SO STUPID AND CORNY DON'T LOOK AT ME,,, In case you're totally lost, the 1997 film of the same name is my. Favorite movie. So naturally, this was my first idea for a fic. It's so all-over-the-place tonally, though. Obviously, got a LOT of silly, especially the parts that follow the movie almost exactly. But I also added a lot of original bits that help flesh out the characters' relationships. The protag is Shadow, who is very, very soft and introspective in it. Which, like, how did that happen??? But I love it. Metal is his co-lead and is mostly goofy because he's a fish out of water. Sonic is VERY, VERY goofy like goddamn (he's Ruby Rod- if you know, you know). Then there's just the silliest shit ever like Silver. Silver is Shadow's cat. It's stupid, but it's also fun, and maybe even matters to the plot. You don't know. Blaze is the president. Dr. Starline, Surge, Eggman, and The End are in it. Tails has the smallest part of any of my fics, but I think I cast him well. I need to stop now or I never will. Don't look at me. xDD

~

But yeah, as I said, I forgot a lot of other ideas. A few more (still forgetting some, I'm sure): - "Creature from the Black Lagoon" ft. kittails - Steam Powered Giraffe-vibes 50's thing w/ Tails, Cream, and automatons of Kit, Surge, Metal, Belle, Gemerl, ect - Tails Doll trying to be a Real Boy(tm) - Kittails-focused folklore AU with Kit as a kelpie and Tails as a normal mobian. Bunch of other people as fae creatures and villagers, including Starline as the main villain. - Maybe a whispangle oneshot from the above au (Tangle is a mobian, Whisper is. basically a magic wolf? xD) - Knuckles/Tails role-swap

[damianwayne0]

Minecraft || (4)

(part 4) part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 5 | part 6

Jason who had held nearly 10 trader captive. With name tagg of course , was just chilling in his wooden mansion. When he suddenly hear the bell ringing. He comes at the door to see his adoptive brothers . As soon as he opens the door they let themselfs in

Jason was already stressed from coming back from nether and now his three idiots brothers are at the door, for who knows what.

Jason: *cough* *cough* what do you guys want?

Dick: little wing not even a hi?

Damian, ignoring dick says : we don't want anything. Its all drake who brought us here.

Tim to Damian: hey! Don't blame me.

Tim to Jason: umm someone actually stole my 6 stacks of cobble stones . Did you stole it?

Jason : why would I steal your cobble stones? I can mine them myself.

Dick, crossed arms : hmm He has a point tho.

Damian : why should we believe you Todd?

Tim , agreeing: why should we?

Jason, sassy: well I don't know and I don't care.

Dick : let us check u then.

Jason , shrugging: sure. Go ahead.

2mins After searching the whole mansion.

Dick , exhausted : what the fuck dude, all this big mansion but you ain't got anything?

Tim , penting : And you should lesh your stupid dogs.

Damian, sparkling eyes : How many more pandas do u have?

Jason, shrugging : ten or 15 something like that .

Dick , confused: if I didn't take , Damian didn't take, Jason didn't take it then who took it?

Tim , frustrated: i don't know! Who could take my cobble stones!?

Jason : seriously no like seriously? Who broke my beaken?

Both dick and Tim point at Damian.

Damian, raised an eyebrow: what? Ain't my fault that you had a chicken stuck underneath it.

Jason, long gasp : You freed the chicken!? How could you!? I killed the zombie kid that was on it with my bear hands!

Tim , squinting his eyes : you kept it as a prize?

Jason : yeah do you know how many times I died trying to kill that motherfucker!?

( side note from me : Won't lie I died like 20 times because the zombie kid was on my spawn point)

Jason, looking at Damian: now back to you, you ugly ass gremlin! Who gave you permission to destroy my stuff!?

Damian , clearly not interested: First of all you can't call me ugly when you look like something Grayson drew from his right hand. Second of all did you forgot it's my server?

Before Jason could pounce on Damian, Dick stopped them. Tim cleared this throat to get their attention.

Tim : let's go to Y/n house maybe she can help us?

Damian: beloved will definitely help your ugly ass.

Tim : you-

Dick , interrupting Tim : Than what are we waiting for let's go.

Jason : yeah I am coming also . Sitting here all day hurts my butt .

Damian, mumbles : like you have one.

I hope you guys liked this part 4 . Don't forget to like and comment. Part 5 will be coming soon ✨^⁠_⁠^

[liliththeimp]

sum ghosts hc’s :3 pt 1–SFW

Once again back at it with my SAS wife cos my brain is rotting like disintegrating cotton candy so here are some headcannons i made (posted on ao3 but thought they deserved a bit recognition here too lol)

Now these are just some personal hcs ive made or seen that i liked;

the numbered sfw hcs are going to tie into the nsfw hcs, for clarification!!

SFW:

He loves music, like anything 70’s to 90’s in a sense? Like, sum pink floyd or shinedown (ik but it stuck after an ai chat and i cant fucking let it go-) nu metal, death/black metal, gothic metal, throw in some thrash/groove metal- anything with metal really

Onto my next point, he’s good at guitar, like really good, he has a gibson guitar he named (idfk what he named it, probably after you tho lmao)^1

He’s a straight up asshole, like, blunt calls everyone cunts, he’s just a a British as shoe dude what did you expect. But the funny thing is, if you end up cursing him out like a sailo he will find that as a major turn on ^2

Simple man doesnt like complicated food, just a normal burger and fries and he’ll be grateful. And if you cook good luck he eats like a bear (how else u think he’s bulky???)

He likes winter over any season bc its the opposite of where he’s been, though allergies/sickness do annoy the shit out of him cus he sneeze into his mask and it pisses him off

Likes milkshakes and i won't expand on that.

He’s a big softy for like small gifts, he may not show it but that macaroni necklace he called stupid? He has it on his night stand so it wont get ruined. You got a bracelet you gave him three months ago? He wears it everyday.

Pretty testing and bully-ish, but will just become a stuttering mess when you tame him, the slight blush peeing through his balaclava will give you enough lee way to make him fall in love with you

“blink mf.” 

Stares down new recruits, no exceptions- when he sees you, he ends up staring more

Knows some ASL when he’s not exactly in a talkative mood (not gonna say non-verbal bc, i doesnt fit him? he’s just like middle finger up to say fuck you, thats his sign language lmao)

Pretty big book worm in his free time

Fast learner at anything, i imagine he has a hard time remembering shit bc of his trauma n shit will do that to ya, but if he watched something long enough he can get it down.

Likes some spicy food

Doesn't do video games, he just doesnt think their any fun

OMFG this man- he makes fucking BACON in his GRILLED CHEESE. I argued with him (literally only with a fucking AI bot like some looser but my point still stands;) about how that's an abomination, grilled cheeses are meant for, and paired ONLY with tomato soup, sometimes chicken noodle. but he believes it the most delicious thing, he’s not putting watered down ketchup next to his beautiful creation.

Stubborn and pouts easily, you say something he doesnt realize is a joke he hold onto that grudge. “Why are you so upset right now? What did i do?” He huffed, uncrossing his arms “you didnt hold the door for me and I slammed my face! You didnt even apologize!!” You blinked, lips pressing into a thin line “are you fucking 5.”

his love languages is more quality time than physical touch- but Jesus Christ this man will get clingy af once he trusts you (after he takes off his mask fully 4 the first time, he trusts you with his whole heart- dont break it pwease- hes hes jus a little guy)

Ok really like bully breed dogs, like his favorite.

loves to hold your hand, like if you wrap your hand around two of his fingers specifically, he’ll turn into a blush mess and so so prideful, (like big softy friendly giant who could totally crush you- and he’s like so gentle) ^3

Gives a lot of thought before he compliments you, like studies the way you do things- like, hair clips, clothes, colors, make up, shoes, etc etc, he loves to study your features.

Can cook- like, really good- but ends up ordering takeout or pizza cos he’s lazy

On his trips, like when he get deployed longer than a couple of months, he brings back sand for you from the places he’s been and you have a small shelf full of small files of the sand (unlabeled btw, you just know which is which)

tries not to get angry or lash out or get like, cold or distant with you bc he really cares he’s just scared of fucking up and you leaving once you see how broken he is

Does all those horrible jokes, his voice is slow and gruff and just- gravelly? Like, he talks like the Grimm reaper himself and makes a yo mama joke

Doesn’t know how to ask for attention so he’ll come up behind you and tug a strand of your hair or nudge you- shit he’s thrown pillows at you then stares at you with a straight face “cuddles.”

“Not arguing with a dude with big brown eyes. Like, whatever you say beautiful”

he loves eye contact wen talking about serious shit- like, complimenting you, or saying i love you, he wants you to look him in the face and understand how much he means it….yet you turn into a blushing stuttering mess when he does, and he laughs to himself ^4

Stares at ‘settings’ on his phone to avoid social situations. Argue with the wall.

in the thickest, most unintelligible, uninterpretable British accent possible “YA KNO’ WHAT YOU DIR’Y ‘ITTLE CUNT—”

Incoherent British slang, colonizer alphabet soup if you will.

plays hello kitty island adventure or cooking mama un-ironically

Can’t spell “gynecologist” (geneycologist/ gin-i-colo-gist) or “bologna” (balaonie/ balony)

If there’s ever a baby in the store or something, and the baby is staring at him, he’ll make funny faces (mainly cross his eyes and makes small sounds)

doesn’t think he’ll be a good dad, but still thinks about it- believes he’s not good enough for a family ^5

Anywho continue onto part 2 here for spic stuff you perv >:3

[fernsnailz]

please i have to know the turbo tails lore

bitcoin i can assure you there’s no fucking way you’re ready for what’s about to unfold in this lore post

i’m willing to talk about the turbo tails lore because it gives me the chance to explain my favorite panel from ALL of archie sonic:

below is over 2,000 words worth of turbo tails lore. don't say i didn't warn you lol

TL;DR: a convoluted prophecy, a cryptic grandpa, and a single lost backpack make turbo tails one of the strangest things to come out of archie sonic

THE TURBO TAILS LORE.

note: any time i say “it’s actually really simple!” in this explanation please know i’m saying it with the thickest tone of sarcasm and bitterness known to man

we gotta start wayyyy back in early archie sonic - specifically, at the tails miniseries. these issues follow tails as he travels alone to a place called “downunda” (aka the archie sonic equivalent of australia), where he helps the freedom fighters there defeat some badniks terrorizing their home.

tails’ journey is sparked by his own desire to become a hero and the frustration he feels when the rest of the freedom fighters treat him like a little kid. in the first part of the miniseries, we see a comic that tails makes about him becoming a superhero called “captain super foX-MAN” (the writers did a lot of comic references in early archie sonic).

when tails gets to downunda, however, he becomes injured and finds himself in the bottom of a crater. here, he meets an oldass echidna named athair. this dude is one of knuckles’ (many) relatives, and hopefully the only one i ever have to talk about

athair’s main character trait is that he’s cryptic as hell. nothing he says makes any fucking sense, but is treated as all-important because… he says it is. he’s gonna be relatively important through all of this, so we gotta keep peepaw around.

athair takes tails further into the comet and introduces him to some guys called the ancient walkers. you might think, “hey, are those just dinosaurs wearing masks?” and. yeah that’s exactly what they are

the ancient walkers are pagan dinosaurs that discovered the chaos emeralds and developed some sort of immortality and futuristic vision because of them. or. something like that

so what the hell does this have to do with tails? well, the ancient walkers speak of a prophecy: a chosen one who will realign the chaos emeralds for a “higher purpose,” and cause something called the great harmony.

we won’t be getting to THAT for a WHILE tho

after his adventure in downunda, the next important thing to cover is sonic, tails, and knuckles’ battle against a dude called mammoth mogul.

for simplicity’s sake, the main things you need to know about mogul is that:

he’s immortal and really old

he wants to take over the universe

he has a chaos emerald embedded in his chest

he’s ALSO going to be very important

i don't like him he’s really boring

at this point, mammoth mogul has stolen a bunch of power from another villain called enerjak (LONG story), and has used it to transform into his own sort of “super” form called master mogul.

mogul really wants to fight the sonic gang so he can use the three of them to take over the world, and this is what his vision of that looks like LMAO

sonic and knuckles go into their super and hyper forms respectively, but even the two of them can’t take down mogul. however, a mysterious caped hero shows up to help - TURBO TAILS.

turbo tails's design is in reference to the superhero tails was drawing at the beginning of his miniseries, captain fox-man. this is turbo tails' first official appearance, and he’s able to fight off mogul where BOTH super sonic and hyper knuckles couldn’t. kid’s strong.

once they defeat mogul, they trap his ass in the master emerald. however, note this all takes place before the comic’s adaptation of sonic adventure 1. and if you know SA1, you know that stuff inside the master emerald gets OUT of it eventually. and oh boy you’ll never guess who gets out of the emerald when eggman eventually destroys it

however, we’re not worrying about that right now. in the next bit we’re covering, tails is at SCHOOL! however, he’s lost his backpack and needs to find it. oh no!!!

but before he can find it -

athair teleports into the school, says tails is needed for something (but doesn’t say what), then teleports tails away.

BRO DIDN’T EVEN FIND HIS BACKPACK HE HAS GEOMETRY CLASS IN FIVE MINUTES

this specific teleportation will be really important later.

athair takes tails to angel island where he wants tails to… fight knuckles. i guess. currently, knuckles is stuck in a state called “chaos knuckles,” where he’s green, confused all the time, and really strong. homeboy’s going through it

before tails can really do a lot, he gets knocked out by some falling rubble, and ghost athair does nothing to help. have i mentioned that athair kinda sucks?

athair then takes tails to our favorite guy - tails’ uncle, merlin prower! merlin is a wizard and that’s all you need to know right now. athair wants merlin to wake up tails so he can go and fight knuckles, but merlin is FUCKING PISSED!! and reasonably so.

imagine. some oldass dude teleports into your house, hands your unconscious nephew to you, and then goes “hey can you fix him? i need him to fight the hulk.” like?? HE’S BUT A MERE LAD!

merlin is kinda right - tails has been dragged into echidna family drama for no reason other than athair seems to be out of ideas. and since tails' parents are gone, merlin's nephew is the only family he seems to have left.

unfortunately, merlin can’t find a way to argue with athair’s “we gotta do it for reasons i can’t explain” argument, and brings back our boy turbo tails.

however, turbo tails gets his ass kicked.

(side note: from here on out, turbo tails' cape is red. i don't know why that's just how it is)

when merlin goes back to his unconscious nephew (again), athair searches turbo tails’ mind to figure out why he got his ass kicked so bad. and the explanation is actually really simple!

this turbo tails is actually a duplicate of tails and the original tails is just. somewhere we don’t know.

so. yeah what the fuck

neither of them know how tails was duplicated or where this one came from. athair’s solution to this is just “let’s not tell anybody.” great job peepaw you really solved that one

after this, tails 2 just kinda keeps living his life without knowing he’s a duplicate of the original. however, he starts having nightmares about a weird, mysterious cave. when he and sonic eventually find this cave, they find the original turbo tails, trapped in a stasis.

and then, guess who shows up in the cave!! oh boy it’s everyone’s favorite character mammoth fucking mogul!!!!!

mogul explains the tails duplicate thing, and it’s actually really simple!

you know that one time athair teleported into tails’ school and kidnapped him while he was trying to find his backpack? yeah, so mogul basically kidnapped tails while he was being teleported, replaced him with a duplicate he created that was identical to the real tails, then placed the real turbo tails into stasis so he could harvest his power, thus regaining his original power before he was trapped in the master emerald.

do you see why i was dreading talking about turbo tails?

sonic fights mogul off, but tails 2 is kinda going through it. i don’t know how, but mogul made a duplicate that was near PERFECT, and tails 2 still has all of the original tails’ memories, emotions, and bonds. so when tails 2 disappears… it’s strangely tragic?

and then they just kinda move on lol

the original tails is released and returns to living his life, but unfortunately his life is kinda not so great at the moment. he just learned that his parents are alive on an alien planet (read THIS lore dump for more context), he’s part of this weird confusing prophecy he doesn’t understand, and he’s frustrated that he isn’t allowed to know about this great prophecy that directly affects HIS life.

and when tails confronts peepaw athair about this, athair does this.

good riddance

in the next issue, sonic and tails are visited by an alternate universe version of sonic called zonic, who serves as a sorta time cop that watches over the multiverse to make sure no one is messing with the space time continuum.

that’s obviously a bit to unpack, so here’s the main stuff you need to know:

the multiverse exists and is very important in archie sonic

all of the alternate universes and dimensions are called “zones”

the sonic and tails of the main story are called the “prime” versions, basically meaning they’re the true canon of the entire multiverse.

i don’t want to explain the existence of zonic rn. just know that he stands on things sideways

zonic is freaking out a little bit because someone’s in the process of destroying the entire multiverse, but he can’t figure out who. however, he heard about this weird “chosen one” prophecy thing, and he thinks that tails might be able to help.

while with zonic, tails and prime sonic realize that the person destroying the universe is our favorite guy mammoth fucking mogul, who collected enough power from the turbo tails he had in stasis and chaos knuckles (who he fought at a different time) to become all powerful enough to destroy the universe. plus, weird spacetime shenanigans are happening because knuckles died and was then resurrected (don’t ask), which kinda threw off the balance of the multiverse.

the prime bros and zonic are starting to run out of time, but zonic has a plan (sorta). see, he hoped that tails could help somehow, but he didn’t know WHICH tails across the multiverse would be the chosen one.

so he recruited ALL of them.

tails, knowing that he’s the chosen one and all that jazz, tries to fight the universe destroying god form mammoth mogul alone. this obviously does not work, so the rest of the tails and sonic come to his aid.

however, when sonic is injured in the fight, tails is convinced that he died. in his anger, he’s able to fulfill his destiny and converge with every single version of himself across the multiverse, becoming…

TITAN TAILS.

"YOU WILL NOT" is one of my favorite reaction images

titan tails might be one of the most powerful characters in all of sonic canon, as he’s able to defeat a universe-destroying mammoth mogul in a matter of seconds.

me when my energies are pulled away lol

with mammoth mogul defeated (again), titan tails uses his power to return the world back to the status quo and imprison mogul in yet another emerald.

so that’s the end of the prophecy, right? that’s all the chosen one jazz, and titan tails was a result of the great harmony?

well, no.

if you look back at that prophecy from the original tails miniseries, it never mentions anything about the multiverse. instead, it only mentions the chaos emeralds realigning for a higher purpose, brought about by the chosen one. so what’s all that about?

this brings us back to tommy turtle.

after the events of titan tails, an eggman AI named A.D.A.M. learns of the chosen one prophecy and the great harmony of chaos emeralds. A.D.A.M. has been working behind the scenes of a LOT of various plots as a figure named Anonymous, where he was working on a greater master plan to become an all powerful being. and man, that chosen one prophecy that speaks of realigning EVERY chaos emerald in the universe? that sounds promising.

i talked about A.D.A.M.’s plan a little more in my tommy turtle lore dump, but the basics of it is that he kidnaps both shadow and tails in order to use their super forms to cause the great harmony mentioned in the prophecy. through using super shadow’s chaos control, he can open up doorways through spacetime to summon them all. however, the emeralds won’t arrive unless he has the chosen one - turbo tails.

using both of them, A.D.A.M. summons every emerald in the universe, of which there are a LOT. in archie sonic, the chaos emerald lore is that each planet has a bunch of chaos emeralds, but only of one color. for example, the emeralds on mobius (sonic’s world) are all green, while the rest of the colors all originate from different alien planets.

so, with every emerald summoned, thus begins the great harmony and the end of the prophecy from the classic tails miniseries.

once super shadow and turbo tails are freed, they work together to finally complete the prophecy: realigning all of the chaos emeralds by placing them in the zone of silence, which is kinda like the distortion world of sonic lore. basically, they’re putting them in storage and out of reach because the writers didn't want to deal with a bajillion chaos emeralds anymore.

after the great harmony, the archie sonic chaos emeralds return to a form that are similar to that of the games - there are only seven, one of each color. thus ends the prophecy, the chosen one’s purpose, and the turbo tails lore.

and that's it! turbo tails never shows up in archie sonic again, and will likely never appear in any piece of sonic canon ever again. and really, there’s only one question i have after revisiting all of this again.

where the FUCK is tails’ backpack??????

[pure-oddity]

I TOUCHED ON THIS IN THE TAGS OF LAST POST BUT I WANNA GO MORE IN DEPTH

Butcher/slasher au! Part 2. It's loooong I have ideas

Pt.1 Part.3

Trigger warning: suicidal ideation(brief but there) and possible depression

Dude legitimately thought retirement was like

A pipe dream. He fully expected to die on a mission one day. Hes had his will written and notarized for ages now. A lot of its donated, no family to give anything to really (he's made additions so that the 141 get things from him, sentimental bastard).

So when he's discharged, he's like a fish out of water. No plans for the future, no social network, no support system aside from the 141 who are busy and also not going through this. Hell dude doesn't even have a liscense cause he's legally dead. Laswell made him an alias that he's adopted, so he can get these things but, why? What's he gonna do with that?

Treats it like leave at first, does what he normally does. Trains, goes on nightly jogs, maybe pays for someone's time(lowkey thinking that he'll get a call and this will all have been a bad dream).

But then a week becomes two, then three, then it's a month, 2 months - and he still has no idea what to do. Like he's stuck like that, can't go back and can't go forward. Contemplates ending it himself, had given his life and name to the armed forces - doesn't know who he is without it.

It's Price who helps snap him out of it. One of the very few people he trusts and will follow into hell. He helps reframe Simon's thinking. Like yes its new and scary but also a once in a lifetime kind of opportunity?? Most will die in the force, Price worries endlessly about the looming threat of saying goodbye to any of the 141 - but simon got out. His ghost is out and can stay out. He knows if he pulls some strings he can get the man back in (unafraid to pull some less than legal shit) but he doesn't want to. In his head he can protect 1 of his boys, so you bet he's gonna.

So instead of like, coming back - why not make the most of it? Be Simon Riley again, make some friends, get in a relationship, adopt a dog, build a house, start a buisness, anything! The possibilities are endless and Price tells Simon that he'd be a fool not to jump at this opportunity.

And while he doesn't IMMEDIATELY jump into something, Simon warms up to the idea. He sits and considers, writes things down and then - finally- makes a plan.

He goes with his own butcher shop, something familiar, knows what to do how to do it. Spends a little time in college learning buisness shit (mainly online but he attended a course in person like once-didnt haaaaate it, didn't love it tho)

And from there he kinda just, starts ticking boxes. He's got the buisness, starts looking into land and is trying to see if he should hire a contractor or just build his house with his own hands -mfer might even look into architecture courses.

Now it's the last 3 he's nervous about, friend, relationship and dog. All are commitments that involve another creature, and it's got him lowkey stressed.

He's fairly sure he can train a dog, confident he can learn. But make a friend??? With a civilian??? Who likely shares non of his life experiences?? Dude wonders if there's like an ex vet convention or some shit cause woof.

And let's not get on the topic of romance. Dudes out of his depth. But he told his Captain he'd try. So he gets back into therapy (nervous as fuck) and slowly works himself up into trying.

[gaybroons]

Opening line pattern tag game!

Rules: list the first line of the last ten (10) stories you published. Look to see any patterns you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any.

Tagged by @ephhemeralite and @capsvsducks (aaaaaaa I’m sorry it took so long!)

(Organized starting by the most recent)

1. Dressed in nothing but gold

Willy’s fingers are tight in Mitch’s hair, he tugs him back far enough to see his back arch, poised and ready, a bow preparing to fire.

2. Hot Blue Mess

“Please,” he gasps, “please please please please please,“

3. Paying what’s owed

Of course Crosby’s here.

4. Why the fuck is there a PRIEST?

He just wants this nonsense to be over with.

5. BAM-BAM!

Andy leans in, stretching his arm; the cabinet door is too narrow for him to reach in further, and he still can’t get to the tape down there.

6. Pink Whitney doesn’t taste like lemonade; you’re just an alcoholic

They’re trying to watch a football game, or more accurately, Whitney is trying to watch a football game while Biz is doing everything in his power to obstruct him from doing so.

7. Do you think you deserve a kiss?

Kailer looks beautiful on his knees, flushed and panting, already hard in anticipation.

8. Inevitably you will burn (as all living things do)

Max knows he shouldn’t mess with this. He knows .

(Disclaimer, the actual first three lines of the fic are a poem that joy sent to get me to write the fic, but I imagine the game is more about writing trends so I’m using the first written line.)

9. If this Eichel/Tkachuk Rumor is True, it Would’ve BLOWN UP the NHL…

“Nobody’s gonna know,” Matthew whispers against Jack’s lips.

(I feel like I need to defend my title choice here. This post is what inspired the fic)

10. Dude, like, why can’t we just print more money?

“Ughh!!” Trevor groans, flopping down on the couch next to Jamie.

I’m actually shocked that I’ve GOT over 10 fics out there. Man. That’s crazy. This was fun tho!!!! Thanks for the tag guys :)

I can’t really see a specific pattern other than liking to start by using people’s names, my writing style is far from consistent.

No pressure tags: @hard4softthings , @keyshui , @darkangel0410 , @draisaitleons <3

[thewistlingbadger]

With the most recent installments to the fnaf franchise, the discussion of Cassie's father has become a main topic. The common theory is that Cassie's father is "the Bonnie bro". I'm personally against this theory and here's why

(Note: please take everything I say with a grain of salt I don't know the lore like the back of my hand and this is all just my opinion)

1. Satisfaction

The main reason I'm against the theory is because it's not narratively satisfying. This franchise is defined by its exclusively when it comes to characters. They always want to recycle the same characters we've always had. "I always come back" is literally one of the most iconic lines from the series. So to me, to have some random, no name, only mentioned once, less than a minute of screen time, ass dude become an important figure? Hell no.

2. Background info

In order to identify Cassie's father, we must use the information that is given by Cassie. Cassie is a racially ambiguous girl with some dark features who is at least a decade old. She says during Ruin that her dad works for fazbear, has had a deep love for the company, and it's also implied that she hasn't seen him in awhile. In help wanted 2, the player is an older ("hey, you look like you got kids") and masculine (listen to the burp sounds when eating food) worker for fazbear. All three of those fit the bill for Cassie's father. So if I don't think it's Bonnie bro, who do I think it is?

3. It's Micheal

In help wanted 2, there's three (maybe even 4) different time periods we play through. We play through sister location, security breach, and ruin (the additional 4th being fnaf 6). Clearly even though help wanted 2 is supposed to a fazbear employee training sim, it's so much more since the games seem to transcend time by going back and forth between past and future. So that means the player has lived through all of those times. We know for a FACT that Micheal is the main character for sister location. In fact, there ARE no other human characters in sister location besides the dead technicians (supporters of the Bonnie bro theory suggest that Cassie's dad still worked at sister location despite this). There are also multiple voice lines in the game that are extremely important! There's the stuff mystic hippo says, there's baby's lines, and "why are you so special".

Baby says "I feel bad for you" , "I like it here. It's safe, safe forever.", "i recognize you", and "you should have known I'd find you". These lines are PERSONAL. This is NOT stuff she's saying to someone she saw years ago at birthday party or to a random worker that was at sister location. This is her BROTHER, whom she has a hard history with. Why is the player so special? Because it's Michael, and he's always been important.

Michael, the first born, the one responsible for the death of CC. Michael, the one who went location to location, trying to undo the sins of his father. It's Michael that's always been the main character.

Michael also fits the bill for Cassie's dad. He's an older, masculine guy who has a history with working for fazbear, and if we're looking at how Michael looks in the bite of 1983, he and Cassie look similar. (Meaning Michael has dark features like tan skin, brown hair, dark eyes. Of course tho, it doesn't really matter what Michael looks like since Cassie could just look a lot like her other parent. Michael is also canonically white so-)

In the pizza Plex, there's a recreation of Michael's room from sister location. It's not the real room, since there's no evidence that Michael's house was built near sister location, or that sister location and fnaf 6 were one in the same. Micheal's room isn't found underneath the pizza Plex where fnaf 6 was, but in the main levels of the building. His room is also altered. The door is smaller, the show on the screen is different, and there's a message on the wall. If Michael isn't an active player at this point, why is his room here. No one else besides him would recognize that room. This also proves that Micheal was somewhat around during security breach, since that is the only time we see this room.

With that being said, let's move on.

4. Counterpoints

It is heavily stressed that Cassie's dad likes Bonnie. Michael is often associated with foxy, since he would attack CC with a foxy mask on. However, he's only associated with foxy in fnaf 4, and that's it. I don't think he would continue to associate with it decades after. Bonnie was always William's favorite and the rabbit is always associated with his evilness and empire. It's unlikely that Micheal would associate with something so connected to his father. There's two things I say to this. 1: it could be that Micheal doesn't like Bonnie/is impartial but says he does to Cassie since she's a kid and he's her dad. If little Cassie asks her dad, who's your favorite animatronic, he's gonna pick one. By choosing to stay so close to fazbear, he has to somewhat open his heart to the company a bit post the defeat of Afton. 2: when you look at the Bonnie mask in the hidden chest of PQ4 and the AR Bonnie mask in Ruin, the masks are red underneath the purple. The foxy mask is red.

At this point in the story, Micheal is "dead". He died in the fnaf 6 fire. However, given that baby, William, and others have clearly come back after the fire, who's to say Micheal can't come back as well?

So is Michael Cassie's dad? Idk, but I think there's some real compelling stuff.

[libbys-braincell-loss]

I said i would do it before, but since tonights opening night, heres a list of funny things my cast and crew do for the show Puffs that i find really endearing and awesome :))

!!spoilers ahead!!

Act 1

Most if the time, when the Narrator (me) is not onstage, i sit in a little nook on either side of the stage, where i read books, play with a badger plush or my pet pygmy puff (also a plush), write things down, etc. I like to hc that the nook is in the Room of Requirement :) also dw i do get moments where i go backstage and take a break

Wayne wears a jersey with a W on it at the start of the play, it becomes important later

Leanne wears a colorful tutu!

Oliver has a pair of gold glasses

Oliver is from Baltimore, much to his discontent

Snape is played by the same guy who does Ernie Mac, J finch is played by the same guy who does Uncle Dave, and Hannah is played by the same person who does Voldy. Its real funny watching them switch characters

The sorting hat is big fortune teller. I think that was used for a version of the show somewhere else but its so goddamn funny

The training wand Professor McG gives to Oliver is one of those colorful toy wands with glitter and fluid inside that makes it all sparkly

For Professor Turban, he has those red finger lights as Voldy on the back of his turban. One rehearsal they fell on the floor and broke it was really funny

The sorcerers stone that Megan throws to the narrator is just a rock the director found outside. Its really heavy, our stage manager is supposed to paint it red (idk we found the rock yesterday. The rock we usually use fell on the stage and shattered so yeah cant use that anymore rip)

Wayne does a silly robot dance when he mentions Robocop right before meeting Ginny

Ginny is played by our student assistant director, who is a redhead. It couldnt be any other way man she had to be Ginny

Wayne is really tall. Oliver and Megan are around the same size but Wayne towers over them threateningly

When Harry and Ron Mop have a fight and Oliver tries to calm Ron Mop down, at the end Oliver yells at him "How come you get to kiss Emma Watson?!"

Real Mr. Moody has a flask for his potion, like in the series

Cedric wears heart pattern boxers during the bathroom scene. He used to be shirtless but we decided to give him a tanktop cuz it was very weird

The bathroom has a sweet lil ballet segment and we get huge bubble wands!

During the lake watching scene, J Finch falls asleep and starts snoring

Also during that same scene, Leanne panics about the lake and hides her head, then peeks her head out and says "is it gone?"

Viktor is capable of breakdancing!! They do an epic breakdance after the second task!

Each character in the three wizard tournament has a theme song - Frenchy has a french accordian song, Viktor has epic breakdancing music, Cedric has an epic rock and roll guitar riff, and Harry has a silly ukelele song that sounds like a Kevin Macleod song

Cedric and Waynes interaction right before the third task is so wholesome yet heartbreaking

Right before the intermission, i cast a spell to close the curtain

Act 2

Wayne finding out Cedric is dead is the most heartbreaking thing ive ever witnessed. The actor playing him is real silly dude but he got the emotions spot on and i applaud him for it

Ernie and Hannahs sign for "no being too sad" is not all that heavy, but the two actors play it like its the heaviest thing in the planet

J Finch's fav jellybean flavor changes every night. Some of my personal favs of things he has said: "Thermal paste", "plastic", "jellybean flavor", "oh man i forgot what it was, it was really good tho"

When Ernie Mac is fake bullying Hannah so she knows the difference, Ernie says "your face looks like he-whose-name-we-cannot-legally-say" which is funny for 2 reasons: 1, Hannah and Voldy share an actor, and 2, we cant say Voldemort cuz copyright

When J Finch starts "going to the petrified place" after Wayne yells at him, Ernie Mac punches J Finch and yells at him that he cant be too sad

Every single time during the Oliver and Megan kiss scene, Oliver gets Megan's dark lipstick on his face. It is hilarious

When I throw the year 5 book (which is really heavy) to the stage manager, she has decided she would make a new reaction every night. Examples: "hey! Big books hurt!" "You throw like a Puff, AND I MEAN THAT NEGATIVELY!" "The actors are attacking!! Run, stage crew! Run! *slams the door behind them*"

Voldy has a green swim cap and tape on his nose.

When Voldy is giving one of his death buddies a show of affection, midway through he says "i hope you're loving this as much as i am", to which the poor death buddy responds "i hate it 😥"

Oliver and Megan are holding hands while Wayne is asking about grades. Wayne gets sick of it and forces himself between them, breaking their holding hands

Zac Smith is hilarious. Hes played by the same guy who did Cedric before he died in act 1. Zac Smith has so many stupid stories, like one about how he ate a magic muffin, turned into a muffin, and watched his friend who also got turned into a muffin get eaten. Another one is how he watched a magic VHS of the movie Shrek, and the donkey appeared in his home, and he was so annoying that Zac cooked him, and every day he waits for the dragon to come kill him. Most recent one was when he watched a magic VHS of a Midsummer Nights Dream, and had his head turned into a donkey, and was jealous that the donkey man is getting more bitches than him, so Zac decides he'll make his own movie - Zac Smith: the Hot Donkey. I always break character during that scene istg

The actor for Xavia is fantastic. She got that evil dumb mom vibe we needed

Right when Wayne sees Sally Perks leaning in for the kiss, Wayne quickly puts on chapstick and pops his lips. Why, i have no idea but its funny

Megan being torn about whether she should kill her friends or miss this opportunity to be with her mom is absolutely heartbreaking it is so sad :(

During the flashback to when Xavia got recruited, Voldy does the worm and Xavia aggressively flips her hair all over the place.

Voldy canonically does a Jack Sparrow run

Apparently Wayne dances during the flashback scene?? I had never noticed that i need to see that tonight lmao

Xavia struggling to open the doors is so fun. When she gives up she runs into the house, still yelling that she'll be back. Its so golden

The Headmaster falls into the pit for his death. The actor just lays in the pit for the rest of the show until the final important headmaster moment

I have never cried inside harder to a story of how Oliver turned his parents heads into oranges. The scene is so good and emotional :((

Bippy is peak comedy. Bippy is love. Bippy is life. Bippy sprints to the back of the auditorium and its the funniest shit ever

Voldy does amazing crowdwork ngl. He be asking what the difference between witches and wizards are, what the deal with British food is, and what is the purpose of boy bands (they make him want to run the other direction), it gets to the point where the Assistant Director has to take his megaphone away

All the deaths are so sad. I dont really see them all cuz im offstage during the war but when i do catch them its so sad

When Oliver returns hes wearing his scarf like a bandana. You go Karate Kid

Sally drops her glasses before her death. She funbles on the ground trying to find them

When J Finch dies, Ernie cradles him in his arms and its really sad

Bippys death goes on for like years. She just refuses to die until the songs done. Its very funny dear god

Waynes death hurts man

When Wayne arrives at the very white room two guys are holding up a white blanket and they have angel costumes on.

When the Headmaster says "see for yourself" Cedric appears and hands him a Puff scarf. I cant 😭😭😭

Voldy also falls into the pit for his death.

When i show up again as Megan and Olivers child, Wayna, i wear Waynes W jersey he had at the start of the play 😭

"Whether you're a Brave, a Smart, or a... child who vapes in the school bathrooms..."

When Oliver asks Wayna what 3 × 4 is, i act like i know how to solve it. "Oh i got this, 3 times 4, 3 groups of 4, 3 + 3 + 3 +3 is.... i dont know :)"

When i sit in the stool, Waynes arm hands me the Puff scarf. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

During Curtain Call, we all be doing a silly dance. Im dancing with Megan and Oliver, and Wayne runs on to crash the party like he does in play lmao

ALRIGHT THATS ALL

I HOPE YOU LIKED IT THANKS FOR READING MY 12 PARAGRAPH ESSAY

[mooniladragon]

1 for every time you reblogged that post

dirk

dave

vriska

roxy

the signless

haha Uh Oh. this is gonna be long. putting it under a cut.

this is the post in question. putting for reference (so i dont have to flip between this and my gallery a bunch)

also this post will be a formatting mess. be warned.

dirk:

fave thing about them? idk really. dirk is my favorite character. actually? probably design. yeah i like his design :)

least favorite thing? uhhh hm. idk this question is gonna be tough every time. i have a hard time picking least favorites. wait no i got this one. hes kinda relatable :/

favorite line? also a tough question. theres a lot of good ones. i think "2024. The last free election the world would ever see." is up there though

idk what a brotp is. cant risk swapping apps and losing the whole post so this question will be skipped.

otp? i like dirkjake. they have such a Dynamic (most of the shipping ones are gonna have pretty milquetoast answers. i dont do a lot of shipping really)

notp? uhhh idk dude idrc

random headcanon? um. hmm. he would enjoy heathers the musical i think

unpopular opinion? i dont know whats popular really sorry guys :/// this is gonna be a common answer for this question.

song associated? oh no by marina. (unknown if diamonds are included. im dumb) it has the vibes i guess

fave picture?

i turned it into an emoji on my discord server. extremely usable 10/10 would recommend

dave:

fave thing? i also like his design. favorites are reeeeally hard though so idk

least fave thing? uhm. difficult again. cant answer :/ ohhh wait hes kinda relatable too :///

favorite line? the jupiter thing from act 1. really funny and also referenceable

brotp skipped

otp? i like davekat. boring i know, but again, dynamics good :thumbsup: also its funny

notp skipped too

headcanon? he would like hamilton. lots of musical theater headcanons here but its like one of five things i think about so :/ sorry

opinon skipped

song? telekinesis by lemon demon. it just feels right

picture?

good panel

vriska:

fave thing? i like her design too

least fave thing? i dont like her. just in general. but i get why people do like her. i get it i just dont that much. she does have the Complex Character Appeal, however.

fave line? uhm uh uhh hm. i dunno guys

brotp skipped

otp? vrisrezi as a Fucked Up Messy Relationship. they are messed up

notp? idk again

headcanon? if she were a human highschooler shed be one of those asshole drama kids. as opposed to the normal ones. i think that makes sense? idk i can picture the type of person in my mind

song? world burn from mean girls i guess idk

picture?

no caption necessary. its just funny

roxy:

fave thing? at this point everyone knows im a sucker for a good design. which she has.

least fave thing? i still cannot answer these questions properly. i think i know the reason now too. i think most things that could qualify for like.. a "bad trait" to me just makes them more interesting, so i dont count it as a negative. huh. not really related to roxy though i just wanted to write that down

favorite line? the miss zuipperpips bit maybe? i dunno its late and my computer is dead and i cant risk swapping apps :( sorry :(

brotp skipped again :pensive:

otp? okay i like callierox. plus john. i think thats fun (not sure about what the ship name for the three of them is tho)

notp? time to say that i only kind of half knoe what a notp is anyway. anyway idk again

headcanon? she would enjoy wings of fire. terezi would too but this isnt about her

song? fine by lemon demon. its fun! it has roxy vibes to me. maybe not the best candidate, but i cant check my playlists rn either :(

opinion skipped so much that i put it in the wrong spot

picture?

party hat roxy!!!! woo!!

the signless:

fave thing? idk i dont really think about the ancestors that much. design ig

least fave thing? again nothing to report.

fave line? does he have any????

brotp, otp, and notp skipped because i have no opinions

headcanon? idk if he read warriors i think he would have mixed feelings about moth flight.

song? idk i dont have a playlist for him

opinion skipped

picture?

we are going to beat you to death

ANYWAY. TO WRAP UP THIS POST:

congrats on making it all the way through. you get a little gold star sticker. good job.

i love receiving asks! keep it up. this did take a long time to write though because: 1. i am Bad at Formatting and 2. Typing on Mobile is Hard. (also 3. It was Bedtime and I Couldn't Use my Computer)

thanks for the ask!!

[superstar-ve]

it’s 1 am and i can’t sleep so let me tell y’all abt my big back adventures at my granite a few weeks ago..

so in the morning (like 9 in the morning) i met up with my friends and we went to starbucks and i got a grande carmel frapp (basically fucking liquid cake 😭) and we walked to school for the bus .

i threw it out before i finished it because i started feeling guilty but i basically drank the whole thing 🐷

we got to disney and i didn’t have anything until around 2 my friend bought me a coke slushie (why didn’t i just at have water) ((also he owed me money it’s not like i’m using him)) and i drank every last drop because i have no self-control.

we had lunch at 5 pm at the pizza place in downtown disney and it’s was really good but i had THREE SLICES. let me explain. so the pizza is kinda small and it’s cut up into four slices. including me there were four people in the group so we all agreed that we’d get two pizzas and everyone gets two slices. (i really should’ve only ate one but i justified it because i wanted to celebrate my graduation.) anyway so we get the food and drink (my friend and i shared a coke but i didn’t really drink it bc i quit soda for a year for 2023 and ever since carbonation just rlly hurts my stomach) and tell me why they just didn’t eat at all ???

my friend that i was sharing w ate the two slices and i did too, but the other two basically didn’t eat??? even tho we all agreed on two slices each in the first place ?? one of the guys ate one slice and when we offered him his second slice he said we was okay and the other guy LIED ABOUT BEING LACTOSE INTOLERANT?? i’ve known you for three year U R NOT LACTOSE INTOLERANT

i basically pleaded w him to actually eat something cause he hadn’t eaten all day and was talking about how he was hungry the whole time we were at disney. after that my friend and i were stuck w the dilemma of do we eat the last to slices or throw it away. the reason why it was so serious is bc the same guy that paid for my slushie paid for everyone’s pizza and drinks and refused to let anyone pay him back (he tried explaining that he liked being i provider but lowkey i think he just likes my friend) so it was like do we just throw it away and let his $40 (too fucking expensive) go for waste or just eat it… obv i do what i always do and eat.

the coke i drank made my stomach hurt so fucking bad dude. i felt like it was cramping up and i was gonna explode.

around night time i bought a brownie from one of the shops cause i thought they were gonna heat it up it was gonna be good but it was not 😭😭 it tasted so fucking bad like those cheap chocolates you get from the dollar store or something. i think this was a sign from god telling me that i have to stop eating bc it’s literally not worth it 🧐🧐

there was a free coke station next to a coke dj (that’s a weird sentence) and the women gave me coke zero… another sign from god 🐷🐷

we met up w two other friends to go on rollercoasters with. it was funny tho cause one of them we walked past and out of all of us i think i’m the not that talks to him the most so like i waved at him and then two min later he came up to join us and he said it’s cause he was tried of watching them eat for two hours 😭

after that for the rest of the night i mainly hung out w him (also i gave him my gross ass brownie cause for some reason he liked it)

it was strange tho ,, not to be like narcissistic but i feel like he likes me cause whenever we would go on a ride he would always change where he was gonna go and somehow we’d always end up together on the ride. before gradnite ended he bought me a churro and we were suppose to split it half and half but he barely even touched it and told me i could have the rest. basically i ate the whole churro..

there were two busses and whichever bus u go in depends on ur last name. so him and i sat together while all of our other friends were on a different bus. and at some point it lowkey got romantic ⁉️🤨 omg this feels so weird to talk about 😭

during the ride back to school he started putting his watch on me. the first time he got that watch i was joking around w him and being like “oh let me have it” or something like that and he told me “lowkey i think my wrist is smaller than urs” HUMBLED ME FR

idk he was lowkey struggling to put it on me (NOT CAUSE IM FAT BUT BC IT WAS DARK) and i feel like that just added to the mood 🤨

something about its being 3am and watching him put his favorite watch on me in the moonlight and basically just holding my hand for five minutes cause he couldn’t figure it out rlly got to me 🧐

i tried giving him his watch back but he told me i could keep it and when we got off the bus he hugged me goodbye and in the moment it was fine but looking back on it i feel so self conscious

what if i didn’t feel small, what if he had gotten a feel of my rolls, what if my stomach had smoosh into him and suffocated him, what if he felt how big my arms are once i wrapped them around him.

i hugged other people goodbye after that but i tried avoiding it until they’re like “no cmon give me a hug” NO I DKNT WANNA GIVE U A HUG ULL FEEL MY DISGUSTING BODY

idk how many cals i has this day but i had 27k steps so hopefully it canceled out 😊😊

thank u for hearing my rant (nobody is gonna reads this)

[nuatthebeach]

Oh, I hope you don’t mind but I’ve got multiple ships for the ask game:

1) Ginny x Michael

2) Ginny x Dean

3) Ginny x Harry (can’t exclude my favourite pairing)

4) Harry x Cho

5) Hermione x Victor

6) Hermione x Ron

7) Ron x Hermione

i need to crack my knuckles for this one. (and i don't mind at all!)

ALSO I APOLOGIZE FOR GRAMMAR/SPELLING ERRORS, I JUST WROTE AND POSTED

Ginny x Michael

first puppy love! it's cute that they met at the yule ball, especially when ginny was basically treated as last option that even neville ended up settling for her. at least michael saw her, ya know?

house unity! prideful gryffindors teaming up with prideful ravenclaws is quite the combo, but they did it.

ginny trusted michael enough for him to join the DA. that means something, people.

Ginny x Dean

both exceedingly artistic and creative. ginny can write, dean can draw; together, they'd make the best comic books known to man. move aside, marvel.

dean is such a nice dude, as we see from the way he respects harry since day 1 all the way up to DH while the trio were eavesdropping. even tho harry swooped in and "stole" his girlfriend freshly a week later. ofc, this niceness can be to his own detriment (helping ginny through the portrait hole), but still.

they're sexually attracted to each other. the way they were snogging fiercely in the corridor that ron and harry caught them in is proof enough. it was certainly enough to trigger harry's chest monster when ginny and michael couldn’t.

Ginny x Harry

you would think that two hotheaded, stubborn, impulsive people would clash tremendously, but interestingly enough, they don't. at least from the few scenes we've seen. like when ginny told harry off in the lucky you scene, or when harry told ginny the hbp book is nothing like tom's diary. he was thoughtful and learned his lesson.

similar interests. they both believe that quidditch is more than a game, and for personal reasons too. for harry, quidditch is like a reprieve from his trauma, and for ginny, quidditch is something that empowers her and gives her independence.

values and humor. the former is obvious: they value family, love, the greater good, fighting for what's right, all that jazz. and for humor, we have the iconic pygmy puff scene and all the cute looks throughout the books, just to name a few examples.

Harry x Cho

again, house unity! we love a good gryffindor branching out to other houses ship.

harry was pretty attracted to her? like, she was his first crush. for three books. he didn't know much about her, yes, and when he did, there were problems. but physically, it's a different story.

their ship name is charry! which, c'mon, i hate to say it, but it rolls off the tongue a bit better than another ship we know *cough cough*

Hermione x Victor Krum (*we're ignoring the age difference)

victor pining after hermione is so cute. he's such a brutish man, but he's also so emotionally confident in himself? i can see why hermione picked him over a certain someone. (during that TIME.) and she was the person who he would miss the most, so it was real. for him, at least.

it came out of fucking nowhere, and that's fucking brilliant. the levels of irony in this pair: hermione not giving a fuck about quidditch and ron being OBSESSED with krum. you just can't top that.

they've kept in touch! that's pretty wholesome, ngl.

Hermione x ...wait, i'm confused. you said ron x hermione in the next one, so... did you mean Hermione x Harry? if so...askfjsdlkfjsdlkfj

Ron x Hermione

frictional best friends to lovers. they drive each other insane, but it's practically foreplay for them. they enjoy making each other pissed off. which, couldn't be me, but it seems to work for them.

ron remembers her so much. he defends her during the troll scene in ss, the slug scene in cos, thinks about her when she's taking a million classes in poa, stands up to snape for her, and those are just in the earlier books. plus, when he cried after he killed the horcrux in DH, thinking of her? or when harry pointed out that maybe dumbledore gave him the deluminator because he knew that ron would come back? or his speech when he did come back? i lowkey teared up a bit too.

they're extremely passionate people, but in a the-other person-can-relate sort of way. like, they both get jealous when they see each other with other people. which, yeah, is not necessarily great, but it's relatable, ya know? it's not like they can accuse each other for things they do themselves.

[bright-and-burning]

for your fic title ask game! gimme something texas hold em related. add some more fuel to this here fire.

(send me a made-up fic title and i'll tell you what i would write to go with it)

ok this has been rotating in my mind w logan/alex for the last day and i kind of went insane bc why is this a thousand words of blather...

i went to a research university in like the north eastern part of the us right but there was this bar named after a city in the south that . ok i just googled it to double check and the home page calls it a "rockin country redneck tavern" lol. there were line dancing lessons in the evening that old people LOVED before the night hit and it became like fully a bar scene, lots of country music, a massive dance floor. so like . picture rustic raw wood walls, a big ass dance floor, a second floor overlooking half the dance floor, and a whoooole lot of college students.

in my mind this is like, college au. logan is a junior, alex is a senior or smthn. alex gets dragged to a frat party by idk lando who then immediately abandons him to play pong w martin... alex is feeling big lost just standing around, downing a solo cup of punch way too fast to feel busy. logan's like 'i got next!!' except his pong partner was oscar who disappeared so he's like fuckkkk and then lando volunteers alex for it, and logan's like sure you can keep up kind of vibes and alex drains the last of his drink and grins before grabbing another. so it's lando and martin vs logan and alex.

and alex is TRASH but it's ok bc martin and lando are mid and logan is good so it like all balances out. so they go back and forth the whole time, and logan and alex are teasing each other sooo bad oh my god. just like annoying to everyone else in the room levels of flirty mocking. (we played with water in the cups bc otherwise the balls get DISGUSTING, so you just move the cup to the side of the table when it's made. but if you get a ball in one of the side cups you have to dance? idk if this is a common rule but we called it dance cup lol. also an important rule: if you dont make a single cup you have to do a naked lap). alex is Struggling he is not making anything. he manages to get it into dance cup like three times tho. somehow it gets down to like lando and martin only need to make one more cup and logan and alex have two to go. alex Has to make it on this round or he's in grave danger of naked lap... idk some like logan giving tips etc. logan goes first on their turn and sinks it perfectly which leaves them 1-1... alex closes his eyes n takes a deep breath... shoots... nails it. he and logan lose their shit lol but martin and lando have a shot at redemption.. and they BOTH MISS! logan and alex W. some other duo is like we got winner but alex is like ok i'm done for the night lol i don't need any more chances at a naked lap. and logan also steps from the table so like lando and martin keep playing.

from there there's two directions i think it could go:

they go to a "rockin country redneck tavern" that night after logan is like oh i've got actual liquor up in my room if you want...

OR this is actually better i guess given how many more ideas i have abt this lol

alex actually leaves not long after the pong game for some reason (that i haven't decided on yet). but then the next weekend he gets dragged out to said country tavern by lando n george who are like dude we have to experience all of the bars here before we graduate and scatter to the winds!!!! (well. lando says that. george spent the last weekend + week frantically studying for an exam so he's like can we PLEASE go out and get shitfaced. PLEASE) anyways. alex doesnt really ask what this place is and they dont tell him so they get there and alex is like what the fuck is this. what.

they get drinks and sit down at a table for a bit, logan gets in w some friends and walks past and is like yoooo and chats w alex for a minute, except george and lando disappear to "get drinks" (with lots of eyebrow wiggles from behind logan). they r flirting obviously. lots of alex being like of Course you're here, all american boy vs logan being like and what country are we in right now, hot stuff? and then a line dance-y song comes on and the announcer is like 'last line dance of the night folks' (bc this bar switches over at abt 10pm to like. pop and rap etc.) and logan is like !!! and alex audibly groans but lets himself get dragged out bc logan is like you gotta have the full [i have not come up w a bar name that wont doxx me but pretend there's one here] experience. they do a silly line dance w alex just clumsily copying logan at first but by the end enjoying it laughing his ass off trying to mess logan up etc.

and then idk maybe the next song switches over as theyre like collapsing into each other dying laughing all breathless... and it's a very grind-y song (to stick w the beyonce theme... a la partition even tho that's not super 'realistic' im just struggling off the top of my head to come up w something better. fill in the blanks w ur imagination if u r smarter than me i guess) and they have this moment of like 'so are we doing this orrrr' and the dance floor gets hella crowded so theyre up on each other anyways so. they are in fact doing this. and then they dance for a While it's hot they get real sweaty lean in to each other's ears from time to time to point out funny things happening around them etc etc.

after a long while of that alex is like i need another drink. and logan is like yeah same so they go to the bar together. and alex buys their drinks. and then they just stand leaning on a wall for a bit, chatting and taking a breather. and logan is like 'cards on the table' and then tells alex he likes him. or is interested in him or whateverrrr and alex is like oh thank god. and then they go home and fuck nasty. basically!

[presumenothing]

assorted translation notes on the novel opening sprinkled with peanut gallery comments (or possibly vice versa, idk):

yes that is a cluedo reference in the case title i couldn't stop myself and i'm not sorry

"…of the sixth month": not july, because this is in lunar calendar

"lucky pattern lotus parlour": ok i spent like at least One Whole Minute considering whether or not to talk myself out of this one. still didn't, still not sorry, alliteration funny

"bingshan town": could also be pingshan, flip a coin

anyway li lianhua arriving in their main street with his wholeass house like. it's Free Real Estate

"town god/local shrine": original term here is 土地庙 for the record. anyway who's gonna write the crackfic where li lianhua wakes up one morning in some random town to find that the locals have set up an entire shrine offering right outside complete with massive incense burner and all

wait hang on li lianhua was spring cleaning for TEN DAYS STRAIGHT??

"surname Li, named Lianhua": if anyone has come up with a better way of rendering 姓李，叫莲花 please tell me because i haven't

pov you're swiping through tinder when suddenly one of the profiles is just like Jianghu's #1 Most Very Mystery every biodata field is We Just Don't Know, Man and the pic is a badly circled cryptid sighting (idk i don't use tinder)

(li lianhua voice) "excuse you i didn't do two things i just did the same thing twice. technically speaking"

"lifelong learner": well Actually what the results for 皓首穷经 kept insisting on giving me was "hoary head" but i didn't go with that, so there but for the grace of me goeth you, shi wenjue

im sorry but the true utter crack au where he picked 李乌龟 instead (because yknow. turtle. house and all) and we are forced to live with the consequences

yunhe my dude you should've just bought a roomba instead of wasting your money on that incense and letter paper

"precious softwood": specifically nanmu, which (to collective unsurprise) was also used for shipbuilding, among other things

just........ the sheer over-the-top hercule poirot short story energy of this entire intro part, really

"king of hell": none other than 阎罗王 ofc

"a sound of dismay": he straight up "aiya"s here. i just could not figure out how to work it in for the life of me

"dust and sawdust": curse this stupid language that made both of these words contain dust this sounds So Awful

it has been 0 days since li lianhua last said "ah" (the counter never moves past zero)

toss em eggs, bystanders, we believe in you

(cheng yunhe walking in) you live like this??

"could only work with what he had, dead or otherwise": the original actually invokes 死马当活马医 (a saying which Literally means "treat a dead horse as a live one"), blast the english language for not having an equivalent

fang duobing's intro paragraphs? 10/10 sheer hilarity no notes

....why is "commit robbery"" up there on the list next to "plant crops"

"melancholic young master": 多愁公子 (he's got 99 worries and somehow li lianhua is all 100 of them)

how HAS fang duobing known li lianhua for literally just as long as he's been in the jianghu tho

ok three crackfic proposals in one post is a bit much even for me but. the one where li lianhua keeps accidentally digging up non-dead people/lost treasure/unmentionable secrets when actually he just wanted to borrow some onions for tonight's soup. honest

(this may possibly just be canon)

aaaand fifty taels, welp