#which either means she thinks I’m making fun of autistic people

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

Okay going to get myself run over now

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

I love learning ASL it’s so good. Makes me happy to learn it. I’m so glad my university has classes for it with professors actually steeped in Deaf culture.

[arecaceae175]

I’m rewatching Phineas and Ferb (it’s my fav comfort show) and it’s SO full of autism. SO FULL

Ferb is autistic

Phineas is autistic and ADHD

Candace is autistic

Dr. Doofenshmirtz is autistic and ADHD and has CPTSD

Their dad is autistic

Their mom has ADHD

I will not be taking criticism. My qualifications are that I'm autistic XD

I can go into detail AND I WILL

Ferb

Nonverbal!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Non!!!!! Verbal!!!!!

In the episode where they make an animal translator Phineas talks about how Ferb has a lot of thoughts, he just can’t say them out loud

Special interest in engineering and building and such

Incredible imagination

He can’t show emotions on his face

He doesn’t respond to social cues

He and Phineas are each others special interest person

In the Aglet episode when Candace is making fun of their dad for not looking up “aglet” on the computer Phineas explains to Ferb that “removing prepositions makes it more condescending”

“The cartilaginous fibers from the bovine patella structure that gelatin’s extracted from gives it that fun, bouncy quality.”

When he does speak, it’s monotone and often a fun fact- perhaps because he doesn’t know how else to connect to people through his words

He’s nonverbal!!!!! 😄😄😄😄😄😄

Same routine every day. They do the same things at the same time (different inventions but same routine) and even have their alarms set to 7 in the summer

In the bully breakup episode he has trouble with the routine change. He tells Phineas he felt like he would scream if he couldn't build something

In the episode where they all try to figure out where their inventions go every day, at the end of the episode Candace is really upset because it disappeared and she doesn't know why. Ferb realized she's upset but isn't sure how to help so he says a science fact "Well, we were all watching it. And quantum theory states that the mere observation of an experiment changes its outcome."

He's nonverbal / semi-verbal and it makes me so happy

Phineas

Hyper verbal

Candace’s busting attempts go completely over his head

Special interest in engineering and building things

Incredible imagination

He talks over other people a lot and doesn’t notice

He and Ferb are each others special interest person

Special relationship with animals, specifically Perry

He repeats the same phrases every episode

Has trouble recognizing sarcasm

He doesn’t really have social awareness

His voice is very often monotone

He hyperfocuses on the inventions

Same routine every day. They do the same things at the same time (different inventions but same routine) and even have their alarms set to 7 in the summer

In the bully breakup episode he has trouble with the routine change. He keeps suggesting things to build to get back to their routine

But despite the routine he doesn't know what they're building until the day of because he also needs spontaneity

Candace

Has trouble focusing except when focusing on busting

Can't focus on other things when focused on busting

Special interest in busting Phineas and Ferb

Other special interest Ducky MoMo and collects items for it

Hyper verbal

Very focused on routine

In the episode where she’s sick and she tries to get Stacy to bust Phineas and Ferb, but she isn’t able to let Stacy take the lead and ends up getting out of bed when she isn’t really well enough to do the busting

VERY black and white thinking

Candace stims a lot!!!!!

She has trouble learning to drive (which is very common in neurodivergent people)

Has trouble making friends

She scripts conversations

Repeats the same phrases every day

Overanalyzes social situations because she has trouble understanding them

She’s obsessed with being cool and fitting in because she doesn’t naturally understand social cues

“I calculate that soon must mean first thing in the morning, since ‘soon’ can’t refer to a period in excess of or equal to 24 hours give or take a 59 minute cushion of time on either side of the event in question.”

Has a lot of childhood toys that she refuses to get rid of

She mentions in one episode that she feels like her room is too childish and she isn’t as mature as others her age (difference in maturity to neurotypical peers)

She doesn’t join in when her friends play with Phineas and Ferb because of her rigid thinking that she has to bust them. Even when they want her to play or hang out with them, she often doesn't realize it and can't let herself

When she reads Sherlock Holmes she copies his personality and phrases

Hyperfixated on the book series and read the whole thing in a single night

She plays every instrument that starts with B

Grilled cheese safe food

Goes into the panic room when overwhelmed or something is outside routine

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Special interest in making evil scemes

He monologues to Perry every day about his special interest

Bad posture (common in autistic people)

Stims a lot

Repetitive thinking (inators)

Echolalia

In one episode Vanessa is trying to talk to him about something and he keeps getting distracted by echolalia and stim-speaking his words

He only interacts with animals on a regular basis and when he has to talk to people he is very socially awkward

Inattentive, forgetful, unorganized

A lot of his inators have to do with his childhood trauma

Norm the robot helps him with home tasks

Face blindness- he can’t recognize Perry unless he’s wearing his hat

Dad

Vocal stimming!

“Fossils! Bum bum bum.” (fun fact this is a vocal stim of mine!!!!!)

Special interest in antiques and gladiator movies

He has a huge collection of gladiator movies

In the lake nose monster episode he’s telling phineas and ferb stories and completely unaware of anything else happening while he’s talking (infodumping)

Hyperfixated on buying stars and buys a TON in one day

Also gives someone a star as a tip and doesn't realize why that might not be appreciated

Mom

Different interest/activity every episode

She gets hyperfixated on the activity and has trouble leaving it to come home or answer Candace's calls

Oblivious to the boys' antics

I’m gonna keep coming back to update this as I rewatch so it will eventually be the Ultimate List of Autism ™.

[the-batcomputer-project]

Batfamily (and other) Headcanons that will be canon in my DC timeline:

-Dick is Pansexual. Show me this man in romantic relationships with more than just woman. I also feel like he has potential to be a sex positive icon which I feel is important. Sex portrayed as something that can be fun and casual, not explicitly reserved for romantic partners and situations.

(edited to rephrase and remove offensive language towards the pan community)

-Jason is Asexual. Get some ace representation but also give him some healthy romantic relationships where sex is not the center or a necessity. (I’m partial to Jason/Roy but to each their own)

-Jon Kent is dyslexic. Insert Percy Jackson reference about his brain being wired for kryptonian, but no, the dyslexia comes from Lois.

-Jason was absolutely theater kid before his death who managed to get the lead role almost every time, and somehow maintained a healthy schedule of theater rehearsals, good grades, and patrols.

-building off of the last one, Jason is Bruce’s favorite allowing him to get away with pretty much anything, but no one notices this because Jason is convinced Bruce hates him, and everyone else (understandably) believes Cass is the favorite.

-Cass took up gardening after watching Alfred tend to the rose bushes out front, and is now responsible for the very impressive garden on the Wayne Estate. She loves being to create and nurture life instead of kill, like the was born and raised to. Jason also taught her the language of flowers and she has little flowerbeds for each member of the family. Only Jason knows what they mean (also Alfred but he knows everything)

-Tim isn’t a caffeine addict, but he does have severe insomnia and ADHD. Because of that, caffeine typically has the opposite effect on him, hence why he always seems to be drinking a cup. Either for the placebo effect to stay up and finish a case, or to make him tired enough to fall asleep.

-Damian struggles to connect with people and express gratitude, appreciation, and love. He asked Cass about her garden one day and very intently sat and listened while she taught him about the language of flowers. Each family member woke up the next morning to a drawing of a bouquet of flowers pinned to the door with a knife (Jason has his framed in a safehouse he is fairly sure none of his family knows about)

-The batcave has a secret vault of “bad ideas” which was started by Dick as a child with the original Robin suit Bruce designed (it had pants) along with videos of Dick wearing said costume and falling off of gymnastics bars. (Think of the video explaining why strippers don’t wear clothes with the person falling off the pole over and over)

-Bruce is autistic. He gives off tism vibes (you’re trying to tell me that a man who dresses up as a bat and fights crime as a trauma response to watching his parents be murdered in front of him is neurotypical?) and I also want to see more a positive autism representation in main characters in media.

-Dick’s use of made up words such as “aster” and “whelmed” come from the fact that he spoke very little English when he was first adopted by Bruce, and decided that using obviously made up words made his slip ups less noticeable, or people would assume he did it on purpose. Even after he mastered English, he continued using his made up words because they just made sense (the batcomputer and jl database have a hidden file called the “DICKtionary” unlinking all his words and their meanings)

-Jason can’t drive. He died when he was 15 (you have to be 16 in Jersey to get your permit), was revived in Nanda Parbat so there was no need to drive, and was too embarrassed to mention it by the time he returned to Gotham and the Batfamily. This is his deepest, darkest, secret.

-As a child, Dick was convinced Batman was a vampire (and still isn’t entirely convinced otherwise)

-Tim collects little trinkets. Dick noticed this early on, and made sure to get a little souvenir trinket for Tim every time he went on a trip. Bruce noticed and started doing the same thing, and so did his friends after a while. Tim proudly displays his collection, because to him, each trinket is a reminder that people are thinking about him and care about him. (Most of his possessions in Drake Manor were necessities like clothes, or things he had bought for himself. Barely anything was a gift)

-Jason has OCPD, and needs things to be an exact certain way, and struggles when they aren’t. It’s one of the biggest reasons why he is often so frustrated with Bruce, who tends to do things in a different, certain way.

-Cass is actually the most neurotypical in the family, though because she has learned how to be a person through observing, she has picked up on many neurodivergent traits, specifically stimming.

-Steph’s aesthetic is retro pastel pop, mixed with maximalism. She loves bright colors and loud designs (though purple is still her favorite by far)

-Alfred keeps guns stashed all over the house in case of emergencies. Bruce hates this and has tried to remove them, but has given up as he can never seem to find them all. Alfred also brought up the good point of “I am not a vigilante like you, Master Bruce, and I am not quite as young as I used to be. If there is ever an invasion of the manor, I would quite enjoy the security of being able to protect myself.”

-There is a list of who is banned from the kitchen. Bruce is at the top of the list, Tim isn’t allowed to make anything more complex than instant food, Cass and Damian aren’t very good, but at least make an effort to learn so are therefore allowed with supervision. Dick has a partial ban. He is an absolute disaster in the kitchen, except for soups, and sarma (his mother’s recipe was one of the few things he brought with him from the circus and was obsessed with perfecting it as a kid, leading it to be one of the only things he can actually make) Steph isn’t allowed to cook, but she is a proficient baker. Duke isn’t a horrible cook, but mainly avoids the kitchen, preferring to stay out of Alfred’s way. Jason is the only batfamily member who is not banned from the kitchen under any circumstances. He has a tendency to stress cook, and likes trying new fancy recipes, because on the streets he only ate what he could find. This gives him a sense of control.

-Superman wasn’t a great dad to Connor at first, opting to send him to the farm to stay with Ma and Pa, but after a stern talking to from Bruce, came around started making an effort. Connor is an excellent big brother to Jon.

[salemcantupdate]

Ok

Baldurs Gate shipping and who I am actively in love with

SO, currently romancing Gale because Astarion rejected me, full one said “I don’t wanna have sex with you, UGH, EW, imagine.” But Gale is so cute??? I don’t get whenever I see hate for him, especially cause we had astral projection sex which was absolutely fantastic. Wyll kissed me but I said “haha nah Gale” and I think I accidentally romanced Karlach??? I don’t know. Oh I also hugged the Guardian love him.

Now for shipping

SHADOWHEART AND LAE’ZEL IS SO FUCKING REAL TO ME OH MY GOD THEY GOTTA GET DOWN RIGHT NOW

They ARE rivals to lovers

Wyll and Karlach… they’re best friends. I’m sorry but all the women look like absolutely lesbians to me and I love that for them

But Wyll is so sweet and so cute and I do adore him, he’s so fun, but I built him so badly haha. Anyways, he is a WHORE, he flirts with EVERYONE, SLUT BOY, and he needs a happy ending. Don’t know with who though. And Karlach needs a short woman to peg.

Astarion is 100% asexual and I love him cause he’s just like me frfr which means he needs to be with me and only me. But also genuinely I think Astarion can only be happy with a redeemed Durge??? Like I think that’s the best path for him. Two monsters learning to be good together… GAH ITS SO CUTE. Either way, he’d need to be with someone who isn’t overly horny

Also once again I absolutely adore Gale. Gale is so good and so loving and he also absolutely loves body worship like he is hozier he was on his knees and worshipping his Goddess Mystra, loving her and now HE CHOOSES YOU IN HIS ROMANCE. HE BDKDCJKWHCISJDKWJD. I love him, so who should he be with? He’s more on the basic side overall, easy to get approval from, but also extremely romantic and loving, and autistic just like me frfr. So… actually maybe Wyll??? Wyll has some self worth issues especially after going all devil and Wyll is also a romantic? But ehhh… I dunno, it just doesn’t feel right.

Anyways, Halsin. I love the daddy bear man like YES he is absolutely fantastic and I love him so so so so much I want him carnally. But also I can’t really see him with most people haha. Maybe Gale though, imagine the astral projection scene but then Halsin is a bear, that’d be hilarious. But nah, I honestly like Halsin/Astarion/Reformed Durge Throuple. Essentially, finishing Astarion’s personal quest before initiation with Halsin will ensure that Astarion doesn’t get any self doubt. They are all on different parts of their journey for improvement, both Halsin and Astarion have severe issues with self doubt along with sexual trauma, and all of them have a “beast” inside. Durge with the Urge, Astarion being a vampire, and Halsin with his difficult-to-control wild shape. Plus Halsin to me is one of the most respectful and consent-focused characters, which I think would work well with what Astarion needs.

Ok so I wanna ship Karlach with some cute bard girl or something, someone just as fun and nice as she is. And you know what? Wyll and Gale is starting to grow on me. They’re both characters who try to “woo” Tav before doing anything, Gale with the Weave and Wyll with his dance.

Imagine, Gale teaching Wyll the secrets of the weave, likely Wyll has never interacted with it properly as his magic comes from a devil. This could help unlock Wyll and on some level separate him from Mizora. Oh wow, both these men have been manipulated and abused by extremely powerful non-humanoid women. They’re both self sacrificing gits who want to be the hero, both sacrificed much for power. I think it would start when Mizora first appears in camp, maybe. Gale would go to comfort Wyll over the transformation, maybe even compliment his horns. During the night of celebration Gale would see Wyll by the beach and offer to show him something magical, aka the Weave scene. They make some jokes and Wyll mentions the dancing, Gale prods, and Wyll says maybe another time.

GAH

I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING GENIUS

Alright, so, summary

Lae’zel and Shadowheart

Karlach and cute girl (if Alfira survived Durge I’d choose her but oh well)

Durge, Astarion, and Halsin

Gale and Wyll

EDIT: This post is no longer accurate to my views or feelings on the matter! I will write another one eventually since I actually know the characters a lot better. This was legit written before I even got to act 2 and I barely did anything in act 1

[autisticgirliesbracket]

What makes Asa Mitaka from Chainsaw Man the autistic girlie ever of all time? Here's what the people have to say:

Asa-related asks/reblogs: x This post will be updated after each round!

Image ID in alt text and under the readmore.

[Image ID. White slide with a manga panel of Asa in the top right corner, she has been edited to be wearing a blue cap with the words "Please be patient I have autism" printed on the front. She is surrounded by text boxes which read,

"Goes to the aquarium with a guy and infodumps about sea anemonies."

"I kin her unironically. Unbelievable social awkward. Goes to an aquarium date where she spends the entire time explaining facts about the Animals fully in an attempt to impress her date. She must be avenged from the ADHD vs Autism bracket. Is isolated from her peers. Chronically lonely but won't open up to anyone(not sure if that's an Autism thing or just a personal problem probably a combination of both) Have you read the Manga?"

"has a VERY hard time with social interaction"

"She is absolutely baffled by everything + doesn't get most things at first"

"there's an extended scene where she flirts with a boy by lecturing him about sea anemone life cycles, breeding patterns, and other extended trivia. the whole time she is thinking to herself "he must be falling in love with me right about now. this is an irresistible date." "

"Literally infodumps to the boy shes on a date with for like 3 straight pages and then goes "i'm so alluring. he definetely wants me now" "

"from the scene that was all over tumblr where she infodumps about starfish on an aquarium date and considers this her Ultimate Seduction Technique. a guy on reddit literally got diagnosed because he could relate to her. it's awesome"

"Tried to impress a guy on a date by monologuing starfish facts about him, was genuinely astonished that that didn't drive him wild with desire. Also she's sharing her body with a horsewoman of the apocalypse but that's unrelated."

"If her long-winded rant about sea creatures as an attempt to seduce someone wasn't enough, then a lot of her trauma is based around being ostracized for being weird and quiet. She doesn't understand people but wants companionship anyways, even if shes also afraid of it."

"She feels disconnected to her peers. She literally infodumps while on a date for thirty minutes about starfish. She doesn't see this as a social faux pas, but rather something any sane person would do. (Basically, doesn't realize this is abnormal.) She misses social cues frequently. She feels below average empathy, I'd say. Asa also said she wanted to die after embarrassing herself in public. That doesn't mean she's autistic or anything, but I'm autistic and I do it a lot. Also, I'm autistic and I relate to her, so she kind of has a peer reviewed diagnosis by me lol."

"Socially awkward and prone to info dumping."

"shes cringe fail and has no idea what shes doing ever i love her so much (shes just like me fr"

"I’m sure you’ve seen her failgirl cringe aquarium infordump that she’s sure will charm any boy (note: fails to charm the world’s loosest teenage boy.) She sucks at a lot of social stuff but also doesn’t get why and just thinks she’s wrong or cursed or smth. Likes animals over people. Doesn’t have a single friend until another loner who happens to be more extroverted basically adopts her as her friend."

"1) thought lecturing her date about sea creatures for like 30 minutes each would impress him and make him like her and was confused when he wasn’t into it (I would be into it tho it’s ok bby he just has adhd). 2) had the date planned out to the MINUTE and told the poor guy to shut up when he wanted to do something different. Literally a formula for how to have fun and she thought it was foolproof. 3) encyclopedic knowledge of sea creatures either points to a special interest and/or she just decided to research all that shit the night before for the date (she did say she went to the library in preparation), either way. tism I love her I’m rotating her in my brain" End ID.]

[cairi-fruit]

Nadine Ross is often characterized as butch/a stud, especially when compared to Chloe in their relationship… because she’s a black, muscular dark skinned woman. Am I gonna talk about this???

I guess I chose violence today, especially since I rarely text post on here, mostly jokes and ideas when I do, but this is has been on my mind for years tbh. I know people often talk about persons trying to fit queer relationships in a heteronormative lens, making one partner seem more masc and one seem more fem, when that may be the case sometimes, but sometimes partners are also equally fem, equally masc, equally stem etc. Its also the case that black/dark skinned characters are often painted with the masc brush more.

I’m a black dark skinned sapphic. Hi. Maybe I’m projecting? (I mean I project autism onto Nadine too as an autist myself, heyo.) Personally, I don’t see much of a reason in canon to assume Nadine is butch or a stud, she’s not dressed super fem whenever we see her, but we literally only see her when she’s working. It’s in her character to dress practically while Chloe is more chill about that sort of thing. Sure she wears a pantsuit instead of a dress in Italy (uncharted 4) but she was still working and expected worse than Rafe did. Pantsuit is still practical there. She still did her make up and wore cute rings tho. I just don’t see why some people characterize her as allergic to make up, or dresses, or feminine underwear or anything of a similar sort.

Don’t take this as me having an issue with studs or more masc presenting black women, I love them I’m friends with many irl. But as a black woman I can speak to the way black and dark skinned women are often kept from femininity, that femininity is more closely tied to pale skin, “neat” (ie long flowing straight) hair, daintier fames and Eurocentric facial features which Nadine has none of, neither do I. I don’t expect the people who this post will reach to be the ones who still to this day call Nadine trans slurs even because she dares to be muscular (something I have also dealt with irl and showing my face online in the past), but I can’t help but wonder how her race affects this when those people often use racialised language as well.

Think of how women are often slut shamed for what they wear, based on their unchangeable body more than the clothing itself. A thin white woman in a camisole and shorts is comfortable, and a curvy large chested, big booty black woman in the same outfit is a thot. It’s kinda similar in that way, that a small framed white (or lighter skinned, straight haired) woman in a simple shirt and pants is just wearing basic clothes, but a black woman in the same outfit is butch. The way black women who are anything other than HYPER fem with long acrylics, wigs/weaves/braids, complex pretty dresses (which are ALL lovely don’t get it twisted) are immediately coined a masc is just… weird to me. It’s like we have to put more effort into proving we are women and can be feminine too.

If you ask me Chloe and Nadine come across equally stem, I don’t see either of them more or less likely to engage in traditional femininity than the other. Even simple things like the fact that many people write/draw Nadine as taller than Chloe, when being taller is associated with masculinity when Chloe is canonically 5’8 and Nadine is only 5’5. So I begin to wonder why no one portrays Chloe as possibly being more masc in turn. Or even Elena, who we only see look pretty “fem” or whatever, opposed to practical, in her wedding photos.

TLDR: Ask yourself why you might picture Nadine as being more masc than Chloe. Is it just a fun headcanon? Is it seeing yourself in her character? Is there reason you believe that cause of things she actually says and does in Uncharted? Or if it was reversed, that Chloe, or he’ll even a white woman acted the same way as Nadine, dressed the same way as Nadine, would you still assume that she was butch? Or does her hair, build and skin tone add to why she comes across more masculine, because this is a thing many black women, especially sapphics, who don’t present as hyperfem have to deal with irl, myself included. We are often perceived as more masculine, trying/wanting to be men, being called trans slurs or being seen as too masculine in our bodies to be AFAB/being “transvestigated” (which people do do to Nadine), all these things that try to keep us at an arms length from womanhood and femininity. So keep those things in mind when you portray a character (particularly in transformative work, your own OC is a little different).

[hms-no-fun]

Sarah, Do you hate Rose Lalonde? Not in like the heavy malicious way people associate with Andrew and his relationship with hussie but like, as a fan of godfeels for probably the wrong reasons (my autistic ass really likes the way you approach the character and also me when someone writes Dirk and doesn’t make him a irredeemable piece of shit and a active creep) something that’s stuck out to me reading your tumblr and thinking back on the story is that rose is, to me at least, one of the most unluckiest characters in godfeels, both from a writing and in character perspective,m.

she’s the first to display the kid’s transphobia and thereby the first to get reality checked by June (which, to be fair to both June as a character and your reason for that scene in your godfeels video, she deserved) and therefor the first forced to learn the lesson of “you can move on and continue being friends with people but still not forgive them for the shit they put you through” (which I will admit I might be wrong on) and I’m pretty sure the first one to die when June does the whole kill everyone (or at least everyone that’s considered gods) on earth c thing, and besides that, unless I’ve misremembered something, besides the first chapter of divergence syndrome, she doesn’t really do much until she gives her final message to kanaya and well, the shit all goes down.

I’m not a big big fan of rose Lalonde, but it just feels like there’s something like, there, like there’s something about rose that you’ve never agreed with, and thinking back on it I don’t hate it, but it feels like sometimes rose is a means to a end, which is what all characters are but I mean like, a means means to a end, “how do Segway into the beta kids transphobia of June” through Rose’s constant biased Psychoanalysis failing her in the worse way possible, “How to keep epigone in after Dirk’s absolute asskicking” possessing her corpse, “how to finally get Gerald’s halo out of the story” get her dead, “how do I pronounce death to all endgame ships” kill the lesser used part of the pair, it just, feels like there’s something there, not something outright malicious, but something just, there, like the reverse of the hussie Vriska stuff, creator’s Chew toy stuff.

I apologize for the rudeness this ask may give off, I do truely love godfeels and read up to date anything about it that gets released, this just has been negging the back of my mind for so long.

spoilers for godfeels 3 here but i guess that ship's kinda sailed if you read the question lmao

i don't hate Rose at all! i mean i think freudians are all cranks and it really bugs me how much mid-century and contemporary marxist theory is couched in freudian/jungian/lacanian bullshit, but that's not really got anything to do with Rose lmao. i can't say that i hate any of the characters in godfeels the way andrew seemed to hate, say, Jake English (though there *are* homestuck characters i dislike and wouldn't enjoy writing, which is why they're not in the fic). i'm of the mind that every character sucks in their own unique ways and that's precisely what makes fiction fun to read. that Rose doesn't have a ton of direct agency in the narrative just comes down to, in part, this being a story focused primarily on June. that i didn't really understand how to write Rose in gf1-2 certainly doesn't help. but it's also related to how i interpret her role as a Seer of Light.

her role in gf3 onwards is defined by the Epilogues, where she either needed to transfer her consciousness to a robot body that could contain her ultimate self before her physical body died, or otherwise exist in a universe untethered from canon where connection to her ultimate self is irrelevant. she's had visions of, presumably, a great deal of the events of chapter 8, and i think understood that VV's whole gambit (whether or not she knew it was VV specifically playing this game) was to split the difference between Candy and Meat by disconnecting from Homestuck canon while still maintaining existential relevance in the shadow of some other story.

a lot of the best narrative premonitions/prophecies, especially in Homestuck, use them for dramatic irony-- that is, by trying to avoid a projected future, you only end up creating it. classic macbeth shit. if there's anyone in this story who viscerally understands that vicious narratological cycle, it's Rose Lalonde. so rather than pushing back, warning her friends, trying to rally the troops, she instead accepts that her universe's survival requires sacrifice, namely Major Character Death.

in this way, her so-called suicide wind is an echo of Dirk's own suicide in Candy, albeit towards existentially opposite purposes. and in that sense it's an equally selfish act, because who knows! maybe they *could* have done something substantial to prepare for Epigone's coming if Rose had bothered to warn anyone! but such is the passive nihilism of our beloved Seer, whose death could never be anything less than a dramatic tragedy. this was, in fact, an exercise in absolute agency-- Rose chose to accept her fate rather than fight back against it, perhaps even vibed with how poetic it was to be decapitated by her own beloved wife.

all of this is very relevant to the future of godfeels-- i didn't put her at the center of a load-bearing polycule just to have her death be meaningless. :)

[ethanhuntfemmefatale]

i cannot believe you didn't liveblog it, tell us more

dude I love you I am hugging you. Let me do a little breakdown of my thoughts on this very good film

Incidentally, if you’re wondering, in the Tom Cruise Ranking^tm I would put this one just under EoT. It’s tough cause it’s a more fun watch than EoT but EoT left me with more to think about and had less flaws overall imo

Also arc since you still haven’t answered the discord server question….hmmm. idk if this would be a draw for you. but! to my tastes tom cruise is at his sexiest in this movie. He’s just really charismatic and endearing and hot in this role what can I say. Roy Miller is such a joy to watch on screen because he’s deeply campy and the movie doesn’t take him seriously, but TC brings this depth and flair to him that makes him feel like a guy, not just a parody of one. And when the movie starts bringing in depth to him as a character it never feels forced because TC’s performance has made him feel real from the beginning. Usually when I see characters that are this balls-to-the-wall charming and bizarre, they don’t work once the movie brings them down to earth. But it really works here

I also really loved another character (i want to avoid giving too many spoilers) who Roy is protecting, his dynamic with Roy was a great grounding element cause his acting style was so different (fantastic actor) and worked both as another eccentric personality and also a dose of realness. His friendship with Roy was the soul of the movie tbh and I would do anything for either of them

Knight and Day is also really fun to watch as an MI fan because Roy is so clearly Ethan Hunt inspired. He’s like Ethan if you take away all the visible trauma and add a totally different kind of visible trauma that makes him funny as hell instead of soft and tired. Both of them are autistic, both of them are aggressively competent and armed and dangerous but find time to be Really Nice to people, both have a habit of picking up strays. I’m talking a lot about Roy here cause I’m kinda in love with him but Cameron Diaz is fantastic in this movie too as June, she has a difficult job of being “incompetent who becomes competent over time” and she sticks the landing in a way that feels fun and doesn’t make you think too hard about how she knows how to fire a gun now. I really liked her dynamic with Roy, they had great chemistry and seemed like they genuinely enjoyed each other in a simple nice way. And there were a few emotional beats between them that hit for me ngl. TC is so gorgeous in this movie that at certain points I was marveling at her ability to not kiss him already.

The only issue I had was this one joke I really didn’t like and they tried to bring it back at the end to gender reverse it which I guess they thought would make it better but IMO it didn’t. The rest of the movie was good enough for me to overlook the joke but I was irritated by the joke it’s actually the reason I would rank EoT ahead😭 (if you’re cool with spoilers, also some no-fun kinda dubcon stuff ahead: there’s a thing where it’s implied Roy changed June’s clothes while she was unconscious, and she gets pissed at him and tries to punch him but it’s played for laughs. Later she does it back to him and it’s near the end of the movie which makes me think someone involved with this movie thought that joke was really funny. Anyway that’s The Flaw of the movie)

Anyway these are my thoughts on the movie such as they are. I would do anything and I mean anything for Roy Miller especially Roy Miller in a tux. If you do end up seeing the movie I would like to request that you please let me know what you think of it

[hogmilked]

would you ever buy a [insert car that other people think is cringe but you think is neat]

(yes this is an open invitation to ramble about cars)

KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH BESTIE

ok ok so yes i am going to go ramble but i’ll keep it relatively short

HERE ARE MY TOP FIVE DOGSHIT CARS I LOVE SO SO MUCH

5. Pontiac Aztek

any time you look up the ugliest cars ever made this will come up on the list and that’s fair because it is ugly as hell BUT i LOVE IT so much it came with a goddamn built in TENT. it was built on a minivan platform so this bitch could haul so much while not being overwhelmingly big. she may be ugly but she has the RANGE honey. and one person’s ugly is another’s quirky. pontiac aztek my beloved one of the only cars made after 1990 i genuinely want

4. Ford Pinto

OK OK HEAR ME OUT LISTEN. YES THIS CAR KILLED PEOPLE. YES EVERY FOR EXEC SHOULD GO TO HELL FOR KNOWING THAT AND NOT RECALLING IT FOR YEARS. BUT. they did eventually fix that pesky little exploding issue and what was left was a capable, fun, gorgeous little economy car, and models with the gas tank issue addressed have proven to be relatively reliable for 40 year old american economy cars

3. 2000s MOPAR

yeah this was a dogshit era for dodge/chrysler/jeep but i’m so deeply enamored by all these dramatically failed experiments. the dodge caliber, dodge magnum, chrysler pt cruiser, plymouth prowler, SO many bad cars that kinda bang. to me. they all have the energy of those fossil pokemon from sword and shield that clearly want nothing more than death but you can’t help but love their cheap, plastic, dogshit charm

2. Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet

Ok so technically i don’t want one per se although that’s more because i hate almost all cars made after 2000, but this thing got so much hate and like i get it but i fucking love convertible suvs and i think there should be more. yes i know the bronco and wrangler exist rn but i need more with barbie energy like this. chop the top off a rav4 and maybe i’ll consider a car payment. i won’t but like maybe

1. MALAISE ERA BABYYYYYY

Here’s some more specifics about the malaise era but this is the era of cars i’m probably the most autistic about lmao, american cars from the mid 70s to the early 80s. tldr during this time the government was cracking down on efficiency and fuel consumption so american car manufacturers had to start figuring out how to make their giant gas guzzling giants of the road more economical. on top of that imports from japan were getting popular, which were smaller, cheaper, and easier to drive. america however was stupid and full of cocaine so they kept making giant cars but just made them cheaper and less powerful. this didn’t mean smaller engines mind you, it just meant they choked the existing giant engines and made them weaker. so the cars from this era are still huge and clunky but now with more plastic and less horsepower while still weighing the same, which means they all drive like fucking trucks, even the smaller ones. eventually manufacturers either figured out how to make economy cars (though they still weren’t as efficient as japanese ones) but for a chunk of time in the late 70s american cars were ugly, underpowered, and kinda cheap. and i LOVE them. i love the brown on brown on brown, love the tackiness, love the underpowered v8 engines. malaise era my beloved ❤️❤️

[dollsonmain]

Going to mow today. Don’t want to, though. It’s cold out. I’ll probably wait until after noon so it’ll be in the 60s instead of in the 40s.

-

Need to find/make a place for the strawberries in the garage. I need to bring those in RIGHT before the first freeze. I was reading that letting them get cold (but not freeze) makes sweeter berries the next season because the plants start producing sugar as anti-freeze when temps start to drop. My berries may have been so sour because they were nice and warm at the nursery, store, and then outside here all summer.

-

That Guy is going out tonight and has in the past expressed resentment that I don’t go do things with him. The things he wants to go and do are loud and bright like clubbing, loud group dinners, bowling.

Loud noises physically hurt and bright (or worse: flashing) lights make me sick. I have to wear headphones and blackout goggles at places like that, and sit very still or I come out with pulsating lights in my vision, the shakes, and nausea.

I’ve never danced.

I LOVE hiking but can’t do it. I miss marching band. Wouldn’t be able to do that anymore, either. Though when I was doing marching band (and walking to and from school every day), I spent the rest of my time not at school bed ridden and exhausted instead of spending time with friends. My mom hated that. She kept trying to push me into team sports.

Going out with friends for something like dinner or bowling is so exhausting that I’m bed bound for a week+ after even though I don’t do anything but sit there while everyone else has fun.

-

That does bring up something I’ve been meaning to type out and consistently forgetting, though.

That video about the “thank you mommy” vegetables guy? People in the notes getting pissed off and angrily saying he might be autistic so she should just deal with it?

Regardless of the cause of that behavior, the woman doesn’t have to put up with it.

Same goes for That Guy and me. Just because I’m disabled doesn’t mean he has to pretend he doesn’t hate living with someone like me instead of someone more energetic and fun.

Which isn’t making excuses for him being a complete asshole all of the time, just me saying I don’t begrudge him being unhappy with my disability. I do wish he’d be less of a dick about it. The unkindness is unnecessary.

But that’s what having friends is for, right? Other people that you like to fill the social gaps in what your partner brings to the relationship?

-

I think a lot of people don’t understand how debilitating disability is. I would love to be able to go out and run around and do things. I would love to have a body that feels good when it moves instead of agonizing. I am so very jealous of the people that move around and enjoy that feeling so much that they keep doing it. I would love to enjoy loud music and bright lights and big groups of people laughing loudly.

I’m bored, too.

[thebigbrightsun]

MIYA POSTING

IT WOULDN’T LET ME TYPE ENOUGH TO REALLY SAY ANYTHING I WANTED TO IN THE FUCKIN. COMMENTS?? so i am just gonna make a post and tag mr. @yymiya​ who asked. So. INFO ON MY OCS!! specifically Miya because she is my baby and i’ve been drawing her for a year now

so these two are Miya (left) and river (right). Their pronouns are she/purr and they/he respectively. i made Miya last year in english because i was bored and remembered a conversation i had with a friend (who wears hijab)(i do not) which was basically just how would a catgirl wear a hijab? they would obviously just wrap their ears because it seems like kind of a hassle to cut out ear holes in every scarf you own and most hijabis cover their ears anyway, but if they had a tail would they wrap it? if catgirls were common enough would there be specially made clothes for them so they could cover their tail in a sleeve or something? we decided that its up to the person (like most things) but it’s probably not that common.. Anyway Miya doesn’t even have a tail in the main universe HAHA but it was an important question to answer i felt

i made River much later, in about april of this year? i thought Miya needed a skater boy friend (not boyfriend, as she is a lesbian🫶) so i made them also during class. to be honest i don’t have much of a story for either of them but they were really fun to draw messing around on my papers, i’m sure my teachers were sick of them lmao

if i were to make them into a comic of some sorts, i’d probably make their stories short and funny, while exploring themes of youth and growing up and finding your place in society as a minority/someone seen as ‘weird’. as an autistic queer poc, i didn’t really get much representation growing up, and i think seeing someone who acts and looks like me, who leads a life similarly to me, could have saved me from a lot of self-hatred when I was younger and didn’t know why I was different. a huge reason i still make art to this day is to help people who feel and look like me feel a bit better in their identities, because i know the representation i have seen, even if its few and far between, has touched me in ways i can’t even begin to explain. it means so much more than you’d think. 

Anyway. the fantasy au kinda just came about one day when i was in a mood and felt like making fantasy character designs and stuff. i don’t have much of a storyline for this one either but i have a very vague idea on what it’s gonna be about, and i’m gonna develop the story as it is gonna be a big part of my Inquiry Question for Ap art this year👍👍👍

SO. these are their original fantasy au designs. i was actually pretty happy with miya’s first design, but for overall silhouette and posing issues i had to change her skirt, but i thought it looked stupid so i thought i should just rework her clothes altogether. 

i’m gonna keep showing people this sheet because i am ridiculously proud of it. anyway. Even when i first started drawing Miya, way before i even thought of the fantasy Au, I had some specific design choices mind. I always wanted her to have catlike eyes, so i tried to imitate the shape of them while keeping them pretty human looking. the silhouette of her hijab is kinda exaggerated and not very realistic just so i could properly communicate the fact that she is supposed to be a cat. 

in her original design, she’s supposed to be much closer to a human, with the only distinguishable traits to set her apart being her ears, her eyes, and maybe her hands. i wanted to put most of the “cat-coding” in things like the hoodie she wears, which has a tail, or the fact she paints paws onto her converse, or gives her self a dan-and-phil-style nose and whiskers (AHAHAKAHDHFKBS NOT A WORD). i also wanted her to be younger, about 15-16 in the modern universe, but that’s a difference I only made relatively recently, which you can see in the two pictures above.

with the fantasy AU, i wanted her to be honestly closer to an anthro than human. I didn’t want her to BE a furry, necessarily (no hate to furries, i am the number one furry enthusiast), but i wanted her to have much more animal-like traits. She’s very inspired by Tabaxies but i didn’t want the fantasy au to be in the 5e universe because i have several problems with racist stereotypes in DND.. anyway, miya is almost completely covered in a light layer of fur, has paw pads on her feet, almost has a muzzle, has a cat shaped nose, ears, a tail, and retractable claws. the only things keeping her from being a furry, at least in my mind, is that she has human hair and isn’t digigrade, and has much more human-like proportions, like the ratio of ear to head, head to body, torso to leg and so on. 

i’ve put a lot of work and love into her design! while i can’t say everything has a concrete reason, almost every detail on her is intentional, one way or another. like, how she doesn’t have paw pads on her hands but does on her feet because she’s bipedal, and cats have paw pads to muffle the sound of their footsteps when stalking, for prey or otherwise. she also doesn’t need shoes because of her paw pads, but if it gets a little cold she might wrap something around her feet. shoes are very uncomfortable for her. (can you tell i’ve been dying to tell someone about that in particular i think its so clever) 

other little details are, i made her headpiece mostly to bring more gold up by her face. it helps balance out the colors i think. the green in her eyes is inspired by my cat! and i don’t think cats can have brown eyes, but it was mostly bc i didn’t want to just give her green eyes (bc brown ppl with light eyes kinda freak me out cough cougb my sister cougb cough). the circles with smaller dots around them on her sampin songket are suppose to vaugely look like paws. i was gonna actually make them paws but that felt a bit on the nose. 

i think thats all i have to say for now… i will talk more abt river when i finish their character page. there’s nothing really wrong with their current design, other than the fact that it’s kinda really boring, so i’m working on adding more character and interest! here’s the sketches i did in my sketchbook, i’m currently working on tracing n coloring them digitally 

here they are!! also i said earlier that in the modern au miya is supposed to be younger but i never said how old she’s supposed to be in the fantasy au and i cant find a smooth transition to talk about that so i will say that here. She’s supposed to be like 18-19 in the fantasy au, i just think it would make more sense for what they’re supposed to be doing throughout the story (exploration, fighting, potential mortal danger, i think its a bit much for high schoolers is all). river is slightly younger but still around the same age as miya, so same thing for him too. they look really young in the sketches above bc my art style was doing something funky that day lmao

that is all!! finally!! for now at least. (if u saw me post this way earlier than i meant to No You Didn’t.) 

[fruit-teeth]

I had a bit of a breakthrough tonight while I was sobbing in my room and I feel compelled to share it for some reason so here I go

Lately I’ve been dealing a lot with trust issues. Specifically: I’m socially anxious and I have very few irl friends (and online friends for that matter, I’m socially anxious on here too), but a big part of that is that I tend to instantly assume that people either a) don’t like me, b) like me at first, but then realize I’m annoying and decide to stop talking to me or c) will end up hurting me in some way if I get too close to them. These fears of mine are, as I’ve come to realize, a reflection of things that actually did occur during my life.

I had a friend who I thought of as my best friend for many, many years, only to have her randomly stop talking to me and join a completely different friend group. The last time I saw her, she barely said hello to me and acted like I was just an acquaintance. That encounter upset me so badly that I remember hiding in the bathroom and trying not to cry because I was so heartbroken. Even though it’s been years since then (this happened my senior year of high school and I’m an adult now), it led to a spiral of shame, anger, and resentment that eventually led to me deciding I would never call someone my best friend again. Not only that, but that same year, I had my high school graduation party, and I’m not even exaggerating when I say that NONE, and I mean NONE of my friends or really even any of my classmates showed up. I felt extremely betrayed by this, even more so when one those friends expected me to show up to HER party (allegedly she’d had to cover a shift for a coworker at her job at the last minute, which is why she didn’t show, but I still doubt the validity of this). These weren’t the only instances, make no mistake - I’ve had other friends that mocked my interests, and even one that turned out to be a straight-up bully towards me. She made fun of me for liking My Little Pony, and there was even a horrifying moment where she mockingly imitated one of my stims as a way of ‘teasing’ me. High school was tough on its own, but a bad system of friends made it even harder than it ever needed to be.

It’s been years since then, sure, but this has really destroyed my confidence when it’s come to making and keeping friends. I worry constantly if maybe my old friends thought I was annoying and that’s why I was so easy to cast aside like nothing, so now when I get into new friendships, I hide my true personality because I’m terrified they’ll see the real me and think it’s annoying or weird. At the same time, though, when someone is being nice to me and genuinely wants to hang out with me, I always think to myself “this has to be a trap or something, this is too good to be true”. I have a very small circle of friends now, both online and in person, but even with those friends I worry that when they see me or think about me they think to themselves “oh god not Mara again”. This leads to me being very distant, which also causes these friendships to dissipate sometimes. Social interaction is already confusing sometimes thanks to being autistic, but it’s made even worse thanks to the history I have with making and keeping friends.

I started thinking over these things today and remembering all the pain, the anger, everything, and I started feeling really hopeless. I started to feel like I was going to be alone forever, because I couldn’t trust anyone to not secretly hate me or leave me when I wasn’t convenient for them anymore. But it was during this that I suddenly remembered a comment my dad had made a couple years ago: “you don’t remember every time you ate a decent apple, but you certainly remember the times you bit into rotten ones”.

And…yeah. I don’t think about all the times people were kind to me, or the times people were gentle and said nice things to me. When I think about friendships or people in general, I tend to ruminate on all the things that have gone wrong, the times I was ignored or criticized, the moments I realized someone didn’t actually care about me. This realization broke me, though I can’t really hate myself for it. My brain is trying to protect me from future heartbreak by convincing me that there’s no point in maintaining those relationships, that my heart will just get stepped on again. That’s why the negative experiences get amplified while the positive ones fall to the wayside, it’s a method of protection. But it’s a rock and a hard place - either I open myself up to trusting again and get hurt, or I keep closing myself off and hurt myself by isolating from everyone. There’s no way to truly avoid or anticipate pain, though - we can only cope with it when it happens. That’s at least one thing I’ve fully realized lately, and it was NOT an easy conclusion to come to.

The times my old friends abandoned me, mistreated me, or shattered my heart will forever live in my memory. But the times my current friends have said kind things to me, hugged me when they were happy to see me, shared their happy moments and interests with me, even told me they loved me…those are things I can’t let myself forget. Even if my brain is trying desperately to protect me from feeling pain, I know now just how important it is to counteract those anxious thoughts with the memories of what it’s like to be loved and appreciated, because that’s one thing I don’t think anyone should ever forget.

So…I guess I’m sharing this because I think I’m not the only one dealing with this. I know how difficult it is to make friends and to open yourself up to trusting others after you’ve experienced pain, but I think finding people you can trust and who will love you for you can feel very worth it once it happens. Sorry I’m not making sense because it’s very late and I need to go to sleep but I hope you understand me

[cure-meadow]

Rate the Seasons - Heartcatch

I tried my best not to add many spoilers and while there aren't many there are a few small ones so tread with caution. I wrote this while watching it so some of these thoughts are from the beginning before knowing everything. I watched this after Max Heart which is why I keep comparing it to it.

Plot: 8/10

The desertians are trying to make the earth a desert by destroying the heart tree

They look at people’s hearts and find those who have “wilting flowers” (something is upsetting them) and turn them into monsters

Precure fight the monsters and turn them back into people and then their heart flowers bloom again

It’s an okay plot line I liked the plot concept for Max Heart more

I like that the grandmother who used to be a precure is involved with this generation of precures

Loved the addition of the baby

Loved the twist ending with cure moonlight and dark precure

Loved this ending so much it adds an extra point to the plot score

Cures: 7/10

Cure Blossom (Tsubomi)

She’s okay

Kinda shy at first

Becomes pretty popular in school

Her transformation look is my favourite

I like her love for plants

Cure Marine (Erika)

I thought she was a bit annoying at first but that’s kinda the point of her character

She’s really funny

I like that she has autistic traits

Special interest in fashion

Difficulty communicating neurotypically

She often says if you don’t explain it I won’t understand which to me implies she doesn’t really get body language and general communication nuances

I like that she’s really into fashion

Her hair in the transformation looks kinda like a wig

Cure Sunshine (Itsuki)

I love how androgynous she is

For the first little bit of the show we are made to think she’s a boy

I like her inner battle of enjoying masculine things like martial arts but also liking girly things like fashion

Her backstory with her brother is also really interesting

I’m not a big fan of her transformation look but I do like everything else about her as a cure

Her staple is sunflowers and she’s the most powerful of the 3 younger girls

Cure Moonlight (Yuri)

She really rubbed me the wrong way at the beginning and again I think she’s supposed to be like that to enhance her character arch

Her whole thing is that she has a lot of trauma which makes her kinda cold and standoffish but I find it a bit excessive to the point of mean sometimes

Her transformation is my least favourite of the cures

It’s kinda boring

A weird shade of silver/purple

She is the most powerful of all of them though

Fairies: 4/10

I honestly am not a fan of the fairies at all this season, they lack any personality

They’re so forgettable that after 30 episodes I only know one of their names

Chypre

Forgettable

Can’t think of a single thing to say about her

The heart seeds come out of her butt and it’s so stupid

Coffret

Forgettable

Can’t think of a single thing to say about him

Coupe

Kinda weird that he is so huge

Cute though

I like that he turns into a guy that helps the precures from time to time

Potpourri

The only one with any real personality

Cute

Bit of a cry baby

The youngest of the bunch

Very attached to Cure Sunshine

Cologne

We don’t know much about him but he does add a good backstory to Cure Moonlight

Villains: 7/10

They’re pretty neutral for me, nothing overly memorable

Dark precure is the most interesting out of the bunch and would be interested in learning more of her backstory (which we do)

Don’t really see much of the Boss until the end

I enjoyed the twist at the end about Sabaku

This twist again gives villains an extra point

Magical Items: 5/10

I hate the perfume to transform, I think it’s just silly

I preferred the phones from futari wa honestly and I didn’t like those either

The transformation scenes however are very pretty and interesting

I like that Blossom and Marine have wands and a wide array of powers to use from 

Sunshine has a tambourine and a magical shield she can use which is super fun

Moonlight also has a wand

Overall Season Rating: 6.5/10

Theme: flowers, fashion, and hearts

[traumaw]

awkward question, but how do you ever get to the point of having a support network?

I've always struggled to make friends and my only friend now has admitted multiple times that they're only my friend because they know other people don't like me and that they pity me and don't want me around all their other friends because they're able to have more fun. I try really hard, but with online school and no in-person opportunities to meet people, I don't know how it's possible.

I've never had any of the stereotypical school experiences because I didn't have any friends, and I know I'm too old to get any of those experiences, but even having someone I could hang out with sometimes would be nice..

Alright. I’m not entirely sure I’m the right person to answer this, but I will try. I’m also sorry it took me a few days to reply, but I’ve been thinking of you, and how to reply helpfully and honestly.

First things first - if your friend tells you they’re only friends with you out of pity, then they’re not a friend. If they were genuinely trying to help you, then they likely would not have put you in this position. If someone is interacting with you out of pity and nothing else and admits to that, or makes you aware of it, then they’re NOT a friend. At best, they just sound like a martyr, and at worst, they are trying to make you feel indebted to them. And please believe me, no friends are better than “friends” who only act nice to use you later. Perhaps you can ask the person about the specifics - it might even be helpful, if they honestly talk to you. Once again, there isn’t enough info to judge what exact relationship you two have. But if you feel that you are at least somewhat close, consider trying to have a conversation with this person. Ask them why they think no one else talks to you, or why no one else is your friend, and be open even to responses that are hurtful. If you feel that it would be helpful - sometimes it might not be, but that’s up to you to consider, since I don’t have enough information. If you don’t trust this person or like them, then don’t bother. Once again - only talk about this with the person if there is some measure of trust. There is no point to letting someone shit talk you just because, and you don’t deserve it. Only try to initiate that conversation if you feel that they will answer honestly and try to help. Otherwise, it’s just bullying, and they can go suck on a toad.

But yea. That’s another important point. Why do you have no friends? It might just be that you never met any people who you clicked with, it might be that there are certain behaviours or things you do that most people don’t like. I am not blaming you - as an autistic adhd kid, I rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. It didn’t mean that I was bad, I just didn’t have the right toolset to interact with others. Either way, neither of those makes you a bad person or someone who doesn’t deserve friends. It’s just something that’s good to know. I used to be completely unbearable in high school, and only got friends by accident - and I didn’t know that I was coming across as an asshole, but looking back, I really was kinda unpleasant. I lucked out, and got friends out of that either way. Or rather, one friend who is still very close to me to this day, and she did come through and told me when I was acting like an ass, but not meanly. She just let me know how it comes across to other people, in an emphatic way, so that I could better myself. But that doesn’t happen to everyone, for sure.

But!!! You are never too old to have those fun experiences. Please believe me - it’s partly about the way you act around other people, but it’s also about which people you meet. You’re never too old to meet people you click with and having a good time! It’s a goddamn struggle, but it does happen. But if you’re looking for friends and a support network, then… well. It takes a bit of time to get to that point. But the best way to get that is to just… frequent the same places other people do, regularly. Whether it’s a class, a workshop, a certain coffee place…. All of those work. And if you try to make friends with someone, then asking them about themselves and genuinely being interested in their life helps a ton. People love talking about themselves! It’s as good of a starting point as any. And being nonjudgmental and open helps, too. And asking extra questions. Just… if you’re interested in people and try to get to know them, one on one, it will usually pay off.

I’m sorry that I don’t have more and better advice. I’m kinda winging it. A lot of people are, tbh. But if there’s anything more specific you wanna ask, or if u just wanna tell me this advice is useless, feel free to! And I’m very honoured that you even trusted me with this. And with the whole not having enough friends thing…. Well. If you wish, we could be friends. And if not, I wish you all the best and good luck!

[gendercensus]

On fae/faer pronouns and cultural appropriation

HOW IT STARTED

I had a handful, a very small handful but more than two, responses in the Gender Census feedback box telling me that fae/faer pronouns are appropriative. The reasons didn’t always agree, and the culture that was being appropriated wasn’t always the same, but here’s a selection of quotes:

“Fae pronouns are cultural appropriation and are harmful to use“ - UK, age 11-15

“I’m not a person who practices pagan holidays but, my understanding is that pronouns like fae/faeself are harmful because the fae are real to pagans and is like using Jesus/jesuself as pronouns“ - UK, age 11-15

“I know you've probably heard this a million times, so has everyone on the internet, but the ''mere existence''of the fae pronoun feels really uncomfortable for some of us. I'm personally not against neopronouns like xe/xim, er/em and the like, I am a pagan but apart from the, imo most important, reasoning of that pronoun being immensely disrespectful, I worry as an nb about people who banalize the usage of pronouns ''for fun'', and I'm quoting what some people have told me.“ - Spain, 16-20

“I don't agree with fae/deity pronouns just from a pagan perspective it's very disrespectful to the cultures they come from. Like Fae are a legit thing in many cultures and they hate with a fiery passion mortal humans calling themselves Fae to the point of harming/cursing the people who do it“ - USA, age 16-20

“only celtic people can use far/ faers otherwise it’s cultural appropriation, many celts have said this and told me this“ - USA, age 16-20

So that’s:

❓ Someone who doesn’t say whether they’re pagan or Celtic.

❌ Someone who definitely isn’t pagan.

✅ Someone who is pagan.

❓ Someone who doesn’t say whether they’re pagan or Celtic.

❓ Someone who doesn’t say whether they’re pagan or Celtic.

So, just to disclose some bias up-front, I am English so I’m not Celtic, but I do live in Wales so I am surrounded by Celts. The bit of Wales that I live in is so beautiful in such a way that when my French friend came to visit me she described it as féerique - like an enchanting, magical land, literally “fairylike” or thereabouts. Coincidentally I have also considered myself mostly pagan for over half of my life, and I can’t definitively claim whether or not the Fae are “part of paganism” because paganism is so diverse and pick’n’mix that it just doesn’t work that way.

To me the idea that fae/faer pronouns would be offensive or culturally appropriative sounds absurd. But also, I am powered by curiosity, and have been wrong enough times in my life that I wanted to approach this in a neutral way with an open mind. Perhaps what I find out can be helpful to some people.

So since we only have information from one person who is definitely directly affected by any cultural appropriation that may be happening, the first thing I wanted to do was get some information from ideally a large number of people who are in the cultures being appropriated, and see what they think.

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WHAT I DID

First of all I put some polls up on Twitter and Mastodon. [Edit: Note that this post has been updated with results from closed polls.]

I specified that I wanted to hear from nonbinary Celts and pagans, just so that the voters would be familiar with fae/faer pronouns. I asked the questions in a neutral way, i.e. “How do you feel about...” with “good/neutral/bad” answer options, instead of something more leading like “Is this a load of rubbish?” or “are you super offended?” with “yes/no” options. I provided a “see results” option, so that the poll results wouldn’t be skewed as much by random people clicking any old answer to see the results. And I invited voters to express their opinions in replies.

Question #1: Nonbinary people of Celtic descent (Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Cornwall, the Isle of Man, and Brittany), how do you feel about non-Celtic people using the neopronoun set fae/faer? [ It's good / No strong feelings/other / It's bad ]

Question #2: Nonbinary pagans, how do you feel about non-pagans using the neopronoun set fae/faer? [ It's good / No strong feelings/other / It's bad ]

The Twitter polls got over 1,100 responses each, and the Mastodon polls got over 140 responses each. With a little bit of spreadsheetery I removed the “N/A” responses to reverse engineer the number of people voting for each option, combined those numbers, and recalculated percentages.

Obviously this approach is not in the least scientific, but thankfully the results were unambiguous enough and the samples were big enough that I feel comfortable drawing conclusions.

Celts on fae/faer pronouns being used by non-Celts (561 voters):

It's good - 42.5%

No strong feelings/other - 44.0%

It's bad - 13.5%

Pagans on fae/faer pronouns being used by non-pagans (468 voters):

It's good - 47.2%

No strong feelings/other - 39.5%

It's bad - 13.3%

Here’s how that looks as a graph:

The limitations of polls on these platforms means that we have no way to distinguish between people who have more complicated views (”other”) and people who have “no strong feelings”, so we can’t really draw conclusions there. If we stick to just the pure positive and pure negative:

Celts were over three times as likely to feel positive about non-Celts using fae/faer pronouns than they were to feel negative.

Pagans were over three and a half times as likely to feel positive about non-pagans using fae/faer pronouns than they were to feel negative.

So Celts and pagans are way more likely to feel actively good about someone’s fae/faer pronouns, even when that person is not a Celt/pagan. That’s some strong evidence against the idea that fae/faer pronouns are appropriative, right there.

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CORRECTIONS

To be clear, I haven’t done any research about the roots of fae/faer or the origins of the Fae and related beings, but my goal here was to get a sense of what Celts and pagans think and feel, rather than what an historian or anthropologist would say.

On the anti side, here were the replies that suggested fae/faer either is or might be inappropriate:

“I only worry that not everyone understands the origin of the word outside of modernized ideas of fairies.“ - pagan

“As a vaguely spiritual Whatever (Ireland), I think a mortal using "fae" as a pronoun/to refer to themselves is asking for a malicious and inventive fairy curse (on them, their families and possibly anyone in their vicinity, going by the traditions). I have not heard of this term before, so this is an immediate reaction from no background bar my cultural knowledge of sidhe/fae/term as culturally appropriate. My general approach is people can identify themselves as they want.“ - Celtic

So we’ve got a pagan who’s wary that people who use fae/faer (and people in general) might not have a fully fleshed out idea of the Fae. And we’ve got a Celt who doesn’t mind people using fae/faer personally, but based on what they know of the Fae they wouldn’t be surprised if the Fae got mad about it. No outright opposition, but a little concern.

There were not a lot of replies on the pro side, but not because people weren’t into it, judging by the votes. There were a lot of “it’s more complicated than that” replies, many of which repeated others, so quotes won’t really work. Here’s a summary of the Celtic bits:

“Fae” is not a Celtic word, and Celts don’t use it. It is French, or Anglo-French.

“Fae” can refer to any number of stories/legends from a wide variety of cultures in Europe, not one cohesive concept.

There are many legends about fairy-like beings in Celtic mythologies, and there are many, many different names for them.

The Celts are not a monolith, they’re a broad selection of cultures with various languages and various mythologies.

And the pagan bits:

Paganism is not closed or exclusive in any way. It might actually be more open than anything else, as “pagan” is a sort of umbrella term for non-mainstream religions in some contexts. A closed culture would be a prerequisite for something to be considered “appropriated” from paganism.

From my own experience, pagans may or may not believe in the Fae, and within that group believers may or may not consider the Fae to be sacred and/or worthy of great respect. (I’ve certainly never met a pagan who worshipped the Fae, though I don’t doubt that some do.)

And then we get into the accusations. 🍿

“this issue wasn’t started by Celtic groups or by people who know much about Celtic fae. It was started primarily by anti-neopronoun exclusionist pagans on TikTok.“

“[I’m] literally Scottish [...] and it’s not appropriative in the least and honestly to suggest as such is massively invalidating towards actual acts of cultural appropriation and is therefore racist. Feel like if this was actually brought up it was either by some people who seriously got their wires crossed or people who are just concern trolling and trying to make fun of both neo-pronouns and of the concept of cultural appropriation and stir the pot in the process.“

“It wouldn't be the first time bigots falsly claim “it's appropriative from X marginalized group" to harass people they don't like, like they did with aspec people when they claimed "aspec" was stolen from autistic language (which was false, as many autistics said)“

“It's been a discussion in pagan circles recently ... People were very quick to use the discussion as an excuse to shit on nonbinary people.“

“I think it would be apropos to note that the word "faerie/fairy" has been a synonym for various queer identities for decades, too. The Radical Faeries are a good example.“ (So if anyone has the right to [re]claim it...)

A little healthy skepticism is often wise in online LGBTQ+ “discourse”, and some of these people are making some very strong claims, for which I’d love to see some evidence/sources/context. Some of it certainly sounds plausible.

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HOW DID IT START?

I had a look on Twitter and the earliest claim I can find that fae/faer pronouns are cultural appropriation is from 18th February 2020, almost exactly one year ago today. Again, tweets are not the best medium for this, there was very little in the way of nuance or context. If anyone can find an older claim from Twitter or Tumblr or anywhere else online, please do send it my way.

I have no idea how to navigate TikTok because I’m a nonbinosaur. (I’m 34.) I did find some videos of teens and young adults apparently earnestly asserting that they were Celtic or pagan and the use of fae/faer pronouns was offensive, but the videos were very brief and provided nothing in the way of nuance or context. For example:

This one from October 2020 with 29k ❤️s, by someone who I assume is USian based on the word “mom”?

This one from December 2020, that says “I am pagan and i find it rather disrespectful. It’s like using god/godr or jesus/jesusr.” That’s probably what inspired the feedback box comment above that refers to hypothetical jesus/jesusr pronouns.

If anyone is able to find a particularly old or influential TikTok video about fae/faer pronouns being appropriative I’d really appreciate it, especially if it’s from a different age group or from not-the-USA, to give us a feel for how universal this is.

For context, fae pronouns were mentioned in the very first Gender Census back in May 2013, though you’ll have to take my word for it as the individual responses are not currently public. The word “fae” was mentioned in the pronoun question’s “other” textbox, and no other forms in the set were entered so we have no way of knowing for sure what that person’s full pronoun set actually is. This means the set may have been around for longer. The Nonbinary Wiki says that the pronoun set was created in October 2013, as “fae/vaer”, later than the first entry in the Gender Census, so I’ll be editing that wiki page later! If anyone has any examples of fae/faer pronouns in use before 2013 I would also be very interested to see that.

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IN SUMMARY

Obviously I can’t speak for everyone, as the Twitter polls are not super scientific and they only surveyed a selection of Celts and pagans within a few degrees of separation of the Gender Census Twitter and Mastodon accounts, but I can certainly report on what I found.

For a more conclusive result, we’d need to take into account various demographics such as age, culture, location, religion, race/heritage, etc.

As far as I can tell based on fairly small samples of over 400 people per group, a minority of about 13% of Celtic and/or pagan people felt that use of fae/faer pronouns is appropriative.

A much higher number of people per group felt positive about people who are not Celts or pagans using fae/faer pronouns. The predominant view was:

It can’t be cultural appropriation from Celtic cultures because fairy-like beings are not unique to Celtic cultures and Celtic cultures don’t call them Fae.

It can’t be cultural appropriation from pagan cultures because paganism is not “closed” or exclusive in any way, it’s too broad and open.

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If your experience of your gender(s) or lack thereof isn’t described or encompassed by the gender binary of “male OR female”, please do click here to take the Gender Census 2021 - it’s international and it closes no earlier than 10th March 2021!