#which i think he should but that’s a topic for another tag on another post

[yeshens]

@piliyi, prompt —

go ahead. ask whatever you want. / tookai…

let it be said that tooru’s never claimed to be a guy who handles rejection well. most of the time it’s not enough of a reason to deter him from trying, but there’s always a little part of him that braces himself even in the asking.

so he’s hesitant, (he’s never done this before. he hasn’t even considered all the ways this could go wrong,) but. there’s something about kaien that makes him want to take that risk. it’s a kind of optimistic hope that he’s learned to let go of through the years, and it reaches back for him.

but first we have to set the scene. so, picture this: the air is warm with the scent of freshly baked pastries, the windows frosted over by the remnants of winter’s chill even as the beginnings of spring chases it away. kaien cuts a striking figure with his back resting casually against the counter, his grin piercing straight through tooru’s chest. tooru thinks he may look besotted, but he’s not in a position to judge — the glass display where his reflection sits isn’t what he’s paying attention to at the moment. it’s clichéd, perhaps, but in this snapshot of a moment he only has eyes for kaien.

“right,” he takes a deep breath. “no matter what, you’re not allowed to laugh, okay?”

and then, in the space of one single exhale, “willyougooutwithme?”

[chayannesegg]

im so glad empanada, even after a tough day, got to have that talk and hug with richas and then bagi where em got some lovely advice about dealing with grief from richas & talked about what went wrong during the day

but i can't help but contrast this with sunny. sunny who empanada still hasn't seen. sunny whose been alone for days. sunny whose talked with almost no one. sunny who doesn't know bad is dead. sunny whose pretending tubbo isn't dead. sunny who got no goodbye. sunny who got no long talks about grief. sunny who got no explanations. sunny who no one visited today. sunny whose birthday is tomorrow. sunny who no one will wake up for first tomorrow

[islandofsages]

Hey ! Can I ask for the Diasomnia boys reacting to a male!Ignihyde!reader who join the gargoyle club (idk if it's name) ?

Like, the reader is really just interest in the gargoyles, and isn't scare of Malleus (or anyone, really. Man is too tired for being scare.)

Ignore it if you don't want to write it.

Have a good day/night ! And happy new year too.

characters: diasomnia boys x male ignihyde reader

tags: platonic, canon compliant, fluff, imagines + scenario format; mentions of malleus in literally everything, lilia being a dad

warnings: none

author's notes: reader is so idgaf energy i love it. also i just remembered the small font feature exists LMAO do tell me if it's too small, i'll change it back to the original size!! if not, i'll change my previous posts to the smaller font. also you have a good day/night too anon ! and happy new year :D

Malleus Draconia

Oh? You want to join the Gargoyle Studies Club? You’re being serious? Oh!

Words cannot describe how happy he is about a fellow gargoyle appreciator though his expression doesn’t really show that

And to think you see him as just another dude… such honor was bestowed upon him…!

He’ll excitedly bring you to every gargoyle he’s found on campus and infodump about them - and you’d write them down somewhere if you’re in the mood

Sometimes you’d find new gargoyles and bring him to them and you start to do likewise

Even outside of club activities you two geek out about gargoyles at times which has earned you two the title of nerds

“Have I told you about the time I’ve met talking gargoyles? I never thought I would see such a day…”

Gargoyles aside, he has times where he confides his personal daily life in you and in turn, he’ll ask you what’s it like being in Ignihyde, etc

After being around each other so much, it feels weird when you guys aren’t together - some people would ask where Malleus is whenever you’re on your own, and vice versa

People found it weird how close an Ignihyde student is to someone from a different dorm too and you’re not sure if you should be flattered or not

But in a sense, Malleus really is your other nerdy half.

Sebek Zigvolt

You?????? Join the club where Malleus is president and is the only member of?????????

“WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU’RE WORTHY OF JOINING SUCH A CLUB?”

Well, for one, the fact that you’re unfazed by his constant yelling and therefore probably too tired to be fazed by anything, consequently making you the perfect companion to Malleus because you wouldn’t react inappropriately to Malleus’ conduct

And that you actually are interested in gargoyles. That too. You tell all this to him

He clutches his head with one hand, debating your logic. You don’t know how and why but he accepts your argument

That doesn’t stop him from monitoring you two’s activities from afar but, again, you couldn’t care less. A sixteen year old’s fanatics is just part of the growing process

Outside of club activities, he interrogates you on what you’ve discussed with Malleus and you just tell him the truth: gargoyles

At some point, he gets so engrossed in your infodump about gargoyles his eyes shine with a new light

Of course, he mentions something about Malleus obviously liking something so interesting and befitting of his status - but he also thanks you for enlightening him on the topic and that he’ll go to you for more information if need be

You’ve converted him. You sometimes see him clutching a book about gargoyles around the school. It’s filled with notes sticking out of the pages. And a portion of that sometimes he’ll run to you to confirm about a fact or two

Maybe it’s safe to say you two are kind of friends now.

Silver

He doesn’t think too much of it other than being glad that Malleus finally has a fellow gargoyle fan he can geek out with

He’d see you and Malleus chatting it up around campus and he can’t stop the tender smile on his face from making an appearance

Sometimes he himself will try to strike up a conversation with you and gargoyle geek aside, he finds that you’re just a pleasant person to talk to and be around

He admits he’s not too close with any of the folks from Ignihyde aside for the Shroud brothers but you brush him off by saying that nobody is really

He also admires how you don’t really let anything get to you. Again, you shrug it off by half-joking that you’re too tired to be scared by anything at this point

He somewhat empathizes with you on that point, grieving over his narcoleptic tendencies with a heavy sigh

You try your best to cheer him up or if you have experience with such things, you give him advice on how to manage it

You then jest that he can tag along with you and Malleus’ club activities whenever he’s free if he wants. The more, the merrier, right?

He ponders it for a minute and nods. You didn’t think he’d actually accept the offer

“I don’t see a reason to refuse. Sebek and I have accompanied Malleus on his trips before. I’m sure this time around will be more fun with you here.”

And so you all do. You all have a royal time together - and the joy on Silver’s face is especially princely.

Lilia Vanrouge

He sheds (crocodile) tears at the thought of Malleus finally having an additional member in his one-man club more friends

Since you’re chill about it, he is too! As long as you get along with Malleus, everything will be fine and dandy

If anything, he’s a bit impressed by how it takes more than the average amount to gain a reaction out of you 

…and a bit concerned. Are you sure you’re getting enough nutrients? His paternal instincts kick in when you tell him you’re too tired to have a reaction to anything

He knows that Ignihyde students are mostly shut-ins but he still advises you and makes sure you get a balanced diet

It’s like he’s adopted yet another son

“Oh, (Y/N), you really ought to take care of yourself more.”

You grow a bit annoyed at him sometimes but you know his intentions are good so you don’t protest

You do feel very loved though. You didn’t expect this much from just joining a club for a topic you’re genuinely interested in

But you have to admit it is kind of hard to come by people who aren’t intimidated by the Malleus Draconia, even if you don’t see it as anything special

What’s special, though, is the affection Lilia holds for you.

[postal-on-my-dude]

We need to talk about the EMH fandom

tldr; long rant on how the emh fandom has a lot of not-so great people in it. Also overlaps with the tribetwelve fandom hence the tags

Recently, being in this fandom, I’ve been seeing a massive influx of discourse over nazis and nazi art. Artists have been putting hate symbols in their HABIT art and EMH art in general. specifically the drawing of one specific artist.

However, I’d like to remind many that this has been going on for a while with many different people in the fandom. So many people in the EMH fandom have admitted to being neo-nazis, and have obsessed over the part of Tribetwelve where HABIT admits he worked with them (which, by the way, was pretty much retconned.) Many say they’ve seen fans of it who have Nazi symbols on their profile, and I’ll admit I’ve seen it as well. Many who do this also do not take it seriously, acting like the Nazis and their symbolism are just some funny cute thing that they can identify with or spread around. In relation to that, users have gotten harassed off servers for even having HABIT or Evan pfps, one stating they were repeatedly called a nazi and people lying and saying their pfp was art by Fvcksnuff, a problematic artist in the fandom. The user was eventually banned after being ridiculed, just for their profile picture being a character. The funny thing is, it wasn’t even HABIT as their profile, it was art of Evan.

Another thing is the romanticism of necrophilia, from specific people headcanoning HABIT as a necrophile and people in the fandom saying they’ve been getting anons asking what they think of the headcanon. The fandom has had a very long history of paraphilia romanticism (necrophilia and zoophilia, mainly), such as the disrespect towards the boundaries of the literal creators and actors, one of them who has specifically stated they DO NOT want rape fanfics of them on ao3. Many people fandom ignore these boundaries, by the way.

Lastly, in relation to that, there’s the sexualization of the actors, which they’ve admitted makes them very uncomfortable, specifically Evan. Please stop sexualizing HABIT or Evan. They may be characters, but a real person plays said characters. Many have acknowledged this and ignored it completely, especially people on Pinterest or tiktok. One of my mutuals has been one to witness and experience this, getting increasingly sexual and creepy comments on his HABIT pins. He’s told people to stop, but people didn’t listen and continued to make him uncomfortable. He admitted that it got so bad he started turning off all comments on his posts since he didn’t want to see those comments anymore. this has also happened on tiktok, where if you go into the comments of any video about habit, they will be overly sexual and explicit, even if the topic of the video isnt inherently sexual.

It’s not just a vocal minority. This fandom has a LOT of awful people just hiding around in it.

The fandom recently has been a dumpster fire of discourse upon discourse, and it’s disheartening to see. Harassment, threats, and general discord. II’d like to say that instead of arguing and arguing, we drive the people who do this out of the fandom. If you want a better community in this fanbase, you need to do something to MAKE it better.

If you have anything other problem about this fandom you think I should research and add to the post, please share.

[nardo-headcanons]

Hey my dear mutual! Another super stupid and weird request coming, so, please, feel totally free to ignore completely if you want, really. So, let's say instead of a criminal organization, the Akatsuki are actually a lab team. Which would be their roles, their work focus or their research topics? How would they behave at work with each other or, I don't know, whatever you can think of. Inspired by your agar plates post, by the way, hahahaha

Hello Sasuke, my dear. Don't call your asks weird, I love how creative they are! If anyone wants to write a fic about this please TAG me!

Big thanks to @the-real-sasuke-uchiha for requesting!

The Akatsuki in a modern research lab AU

Akatsuki Labs, Inc. No one knows what they're actually researching, and how they get their funding, however everyone hires them, they're incredibly popular with institutions and businesses alike...

Deidara is a lab rookie who is still at the beginning of his study. He went to a scientific high school and an absolute ace at chemistry. Besides studying chemistry, his other major is pyrotechnical engineering. He blows shit up on the regular and even adds copper sulphate to fires when he is the one supposed to put them out. He frequently steals minerals from the lab to use them for his pottery projects. And yes, he knows how to make meth.

Hidan is on his way to become a neurologist. He is fascinated by the way the nervous system works (especially while processing pain) and has the ego of a neurosurgeon twice his age. However he is regularly asked for a second opinion because he knows his shit. He's pretty popular with the ladies due to his confidence, however many of them are freaked out when they find out what a huge masochist he is.

I've never seen Itachi as a huge stem guy, but I've actually had a discussion about this with my dear moots @pet-plasma-bubble and @suki91 and came to the conclusion that he's either a plant biologist or studies medicine because he's one of these kids with a chronic and/or underdiagnosed illness going into medicine to make a change. Plant biologist!Itachi regularly talks to his plants when no one is looking and he gives them names as well. He doesn't really care much for the actual lab work and prefers to take care of the plants in the different lab greenhouses. Med student!Itachi is one of these anatomy girlies who draw their stuff in fancy colors and actually enjoy studying human anatomy.

Kakuzu is a senior scientist/professor who initially studied pharmacology/pharmacy to save many lives and prolong the lives of millions, but eventually got disillusioned and sold his soul to the pharma industry. He should technically be retired now, but he joined the Akatsuki labs inc to make some money on the side.

Kisame started out as a marine biologist specializing in shark research, however, seeing these beautiful, innocent creatures get bastardized by Hollywood and pollution made him apply to Akatsuki labs inc to help find solutions to the current crises caused by humanity. During his free time, he volunteers in a dolphin rehabilitation center.

Konan is the cofounder of Akatsuki labs inc, everyone respects her and even looks up to her. Once a brilliant scientist in the field of engineering, she got tired of how male dominated it was and how her male colleagues kept getting the credit for her ideas. She frequently holds lab courses for young girls interested going into the scientific field.

Nagato is the Akatsuki labs founder, and rarely seen in the lab. He has made himself a name in the field of robotics by inventing the Shurado robotics system which helps millions of automated machines run to this day. Rarely seen in the lab, he communicated with his employees via his Pain Alias Email. though to be fair, Konan writes most of these emails for him; she's the only one regularly talking to him face-to-face.

Orochimaru is a geneticist and biochemist, his focus being finding ways to avoid cellular decay, as well as the human genome and anti aging research. His parents are academics as well and he lived up to their expectations to the fullest. He has his own skincare formula which keeps him looking snatched at all times. Given the rumors about several scientific ethical code violations, everyone is kinda scared of him except for his personal lab tech, Kabuto.

Sasori is a renowed mortician who's also very interested in histology. His preparation techniques are unmatched and he even invented new preparation- and histological staining methods, which are called "Red Sand" and "Red Technique", respectively. He often gets into fights with Kakuzu about his microtome collection being unnecessarily expensive.

Tobi is the Akatsuki labs CEO cosplaying as a clueless intern that always steals from the candy bowl in the waiting room. In reality, he has a PHD in physics, his thesis being about rifts in space time and interdimensional interactions, however all of his papers are published under an alias. He has a soft spot for Deidara and refuses to fire him despite the latter's frequent "accidents".

Zetsu is a biological anthropologist fascinated by human evolution and human behavior. Some think even his colleagues are subjects of his studies. Some people say he's two-faced, but he is very chatty and inquisitive most of the time. He volunteered to have Itachi's venus fly traps in his office and can sometimes be seen feeding them dead flies or mosquitoes.

[rollercoasterwords]

tried to read wfrau as i saw people rec it, but there's something bothering me in that fic. i don't like the alpha-male-ification of remus in wfrau. remus is not a beast who can fight another beast werewolves. he was a timid, sheltered boy in canon, but it's like you're making him fit into the fanon toxic wolfstar heteronormative box. it feels weird to read. please don't make me start on why it seems like you hate sirius OR use sirius as a self-insert to indulge in your fetishization of remus. like why do you write sirius as abused, when it was canonically remus who was disabled. can you consider rewrite some points in the fic, aligned to canon?

lmao where do i even start with this. uhhhhh okay first of all to answer your question - no, i will not be rewriting to make my non-canon-compliant fic more compliant with canon. if you don't like it, i suggest you don't read it! i'm not writing the story for you, and i'm not really sure why you think it would matter to me whether you like it or not. there are plenty of other fics out there that you can go read.

this fic was explicitly written to be a werewolf-fighting ring au. if you don't like remus fighting other werewolves, then i'm baffled as to why you even started it in the first place, considering that it's clearly tagged "werewolf fighting ring." i don't agree with your interpretation of canon that he was a "timid, sheltered" boy; even if i did, this fic is specifically exploring how the characters would be different in an au, non-canon-compliant version of their world. if the gay romance between two men is too heteronormative for you, there are, again, other fics out there that you can read. and if you don't want to read about "toxic" relationships then u DEFINITELY shouldn't read this fic, because none of the relationships in it are wholesome and healthy lmao. if you think i hate sirius...i don't even know what to say lol. like yeah i hate him so much that i've written hundreds of thousands of words of fanfiction about him. that checks out! and remus is fetishized in this fic for being a werewolf, which is a topic that gets explored in-depth in his pov chapter and is not something condoned by the narrative. i'm assuming you didn't read that far, though, and that what you mean by "fetishization" is the fact that sirius finds him sexy. so. again, i think you probably should just not read this fic if characters being sexually attracted to each other bothers you. i write sirius as being abused because that's the story i wanted to tell; not really sure how remus being canonically disabled is something that would cancel that out? those are two separate things. and remus's canonical disability is his lycanthropy, which....also exists in this fic. and is another topic that gets explored throughout the story.

in conclusion i truly cannot emphasize enough that i am not the person out here reccing this fic, i am not trying to grow an audience or go viral or any of that bullshit. not sure where you got the rec from, but i have actually asked people not to post about my fics on tiktok to try and avoid them blowing up there, because i do not want people like you reading them. i include an entire warning on the first chapter about the fact that this fic is dark and deals with heavy topics; i've tagged the fic thoroughly and have also included "additional tags to be added" to remind people that it's a wip and things are subject to change. all this is to emphasize -- i really, really, really don't care if any person reading the fic dislikes it. i don't care if they dislike it so much that they have to stop reading, because i don't care how many people are reading it in the first place!! i'm writing this story purely for fun, for myself, so i'm going to write what i want to write. even if you intended for this message to be polite, it just comes off as incredibly entitled to ask a stranger on the internet to spend hours of time and labor tailoring a story to your specific tastes, and if you think this type of message is okay to send then i think you should genuinely sit down and reevaluate the way you approach fandom. nobody is making you read fics you don't like, so just....don't read them.

[h-c-u]

No Longer a Secret pt 6

Summary: The one with A LOT of planning and phone-calls.

Pairing: Toto Wolff x fem!reader

W/C: 7.1k

Rating: PG, age gap

TWs: none

A/N: So... I honestly wasn't planning on writing it today, but welp - it kinda spilled, so here we go... There is not a lot of action in this one, but a few Original Characters were very briefly introduced. Most of them will become a part of this story, so if you have any questions about them - please feel free to ask. One day, when there will be more of them included, I will most likely make a separate post dedicated to them, but for now - there are comments, asks, and messages :)

Taglist: @crimeshowjunkie, @omgsuperstarg

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | List of tags | Playlist for the series

Of course, there was a party after the race. Your first one with the team... And you seriously considered it being the last one, because currently you could hear the grass growing with your whole body and it hurt like a motherfucker. How the rest of the people on the jet weren't hungover? You had no idea. It must have been witchcraft. Because you couldn't explain it any other way, since you were the youngest of them all.

There was some light teasing, but after they realized how genuinely miserable you were, they stopped, and someone even brought you another alka-seltzer, a bottle of cold water, and chewing gum, for which you were extremely grateful because without it you would have definitely thrown up when the plane was climbing to the higher altitudes.

When it was safe to unbuckle the belts, everyone started moving and making conversation. Still, you were definitely not in the right state of mind for any of that, so when Toto motioned you closer to him, you gladly did just that and sat across his lap, with your legs over the soft armrest. He reclined the chair, so you would be more laying on your left side than sitting, which helped relieve the heartburn almost instantly. He was so gentle with you, that you almost melted into his soft shirt that smelled faintly of the detergent he used at home. With his one arm supporting your back and the other resting on your thighs, you felt much better.

You could see the other people trying to hide the surprised looks on their faces at the sight of you two cozying up because even though your relationship was no longer a secret, it must have been a little bit weird to witness the casual physical affection for the first time. But if you were completely honest, you didn't mind. You were all still getting used to the new dynamic between you and them, so it was only natural that it might take some time. And they weren't exactly weird or uncomfortable either, so you knew that sooner rather than later all the wrinkles will iron themselves out.

- Schatzi, we were supposed to decide on who should do the interview... - Toto said quietly, gently rubbing his thumb over your thigh. You honestly forgot about it, so you were glad that he brought it up. - But if you're not up for it now...

- No, I'm good, I'm good. - you said with a weak smile. - But after running it over and over in my head, I honestly think that Laura would be the best choice. - you stated, and when normally you would look up at him, this time you kept your head on his shoulder and kept your eyes closed.

- The talk show host? - he knew who Laura was from your stories, but he still made sure.

- Yes. In the past she had a few special episodes dedicated to interviewing one person when the topic was hot, so we could fit into that category. - you started explaining, and your warm breath tickled Toto's neck, which made him scrunch his nose and smile. - She's known for not taking any bullshit, so she definitely wouldn't go easy on us, but her reputation and the fact that it would air on BBC would give it more weight. - you explained the reasons behind this choice, and Toto only hummed in agreement.

- Don't you think we're a bit too low on a food chain to appear on her show? Doesn't she host celebrities? - those questions were genuine, and under normal circumstances, you would have agreed. But you two unintentionally became a sensation overnight and even people outside of the racing community were interested in you as a couple.

- She does, but right now... Let me show you, it will be quicker. - you mumbled and reached for your phone, but it was in your bag, so instead you took his from the table, unlocked it, typed his name into the browser, and showed him the screen with numerous headlines. "Toto Wolff is a spoken man and ladies are howling", "19 things surprisingly younger than the age gap between Toto Wolff and Y/n Y/ln.", "What do we know about Toto Wolff and Y/n Y/ln?", "Y/n Y/ln - from a respected reporter to a WAG of Toto Wolff" and many, many more.

- I see... - you could tell he wasn't exactly enjoying this type of attention, but you couldn't do anything about it right now.

- I'm sorry, I could have planned it better... - you mumbled quietly and put your head back on his shoulder.

- It's not your fault, Schatzi. - he squeezed your body a little bit tighter and placed a soft kiss on your temple. - I just wasn't expecting it to blow up to this degree. But we'll get through it together. - you could hear a smile in his voice. - So. Laura? - he circled back.

- Yes, Laura. She'll be tough, but if we ask her to avoid specific topics, she will. And that reminds me... Our families. - you sighed. Because you were so caught up in the heat of the moment, and then the race, that you didn't fully grasp the number of things you haven't thought about. - My mother is one thing and I will deal with her, but your kids... At the party, you told them you were going to call them back. - you reminded him, because you weren't exactly sure how much of last night he remembered, and his son called him rather late.

- Thank you, I'll do that when we land. I would also like you to officially meet them sooner rather than later if that's ok with you. - you weighed his words for a short moment in your head, considering if Toto having some time alone with them first wouldn't be better, just to let all the possible emotions out, and answer all the questions without an outsider present, but on the other hand they could read it as him trying to hide you from them.

- Of course. Let me know when, and I'll make the time. - from what Toto told you about them, it shouldn't be that hard, and you hoped that seeing with their own eyes exactly how much you loved their father would help, although you felt like you were starting from a weak position. Fortunately, Toto already told them that he was seeing someone around half a year ago, but he hasn't told them specifically who. So, finding out from social media or worse - their friends might have been hard.

Even though his face was donning a gentle smile, it wasn't hard for you to notice that he was in a sour mood, but you also knew it was temporary. He liked to have everything covered, and the whiplash of your announcement wasn't something he predicted. And you were no better because even though you knew people would be interested, you would have never thought that it would be such a giant sensation.

- We have a lot of fires to put out. - you chuckled quietly and closed your eyes again. - I'll call Laura when we'll land and hash out the details, but if we don't want to wait till next week, we should be ready to do this on Wednesday. - you put your hand over his heart just to feel it beat under your fingers.

- What about the guests she's supposed to have? - you could feel the vibrations of his voice under your hand even through the material of his shirt.

- Let me worry about that, Dashuria Ime, you already have enough on your plate. - you replied, rubbing your cheek on his shoulder and it was his time to laugh, unintentionally grabbing the attention of the rest of the plane, but seeing you two cozied up and clearly talking about something, they didn't interrupt. Although you suspected that they would start listening closer to what you were saying, and they were in for a treat. - I was also thinking about our conversation from Friday... - you started quietly, and you could feel him perk up under you.

- And...? - he asked after your intentional pause.

- And considering the race schedule and the fact that most drivers will stay in the UK, I'd like to start the company and recordings as soon as possible... - his shoulders slumped just a tiny bit, but the smile on your face didn't go away. You knew he was expecting to hear something else, so you stalled on purpose just to tease him. - And to start the recordings, I'm gonna need a studio. And to have a studio...? - you left the end of the sentence hanging in the air and Toto laughed out loud again.

- You will need to move out...? - he finished for you, even though he didn't have to, and you could almost hear the others getting quieter, sensing something interesting, almost like piranhas. Although they were significantly less bloodthirsty.

- I will need to move out. - you confirmed, and the others were no longer pretending to talk, now openly listening to your conversation, and you didn't even have to open your eyes to know that.

- So I'm guessing that... How did you say it...? "I'm not just gonna move all my stuff in one day"... - he imitated your accent surprisingly well, and you couldn't hold the laughter. - ...was a lie? -

- Wait, are you guys moving in together? - Lewis was the first one to jump on the topic and the excitement in his voice was very clear.

- It looks like it... - you finally opened your eyes again and rested them on Lewis’s bright smile.

- Congratulations! - he immediately wanted to get up to get closer to the both of you, and ask more questions, but this was the moment when turbulences hit, and just as he was standing up, he fell back into his chair, and the whole plane's attention was on him. Partially to make sure that he was ok, but mostly because he made a funny sound when he fell over, and now everyone was either openly laughing or trying to hide the giggle. - Hey! Not my fault! Anyways, what do you guys want as a housewarming gift?

- Some damn peace and quiet would be nice... - Toto mumbled loud enough that everyone could hear him, still a little bit hung up on the whole media hurricane.

- We'll worry about that on the ground. Let's just have a few more moments without that, hmmm? - your voice was soft, and he couldn't help but agree; there was nothing either of you could do right now, and your hand gently placed over his heart made him take a deep breath and then let it out, which you instantly recognized as him banishing the thought from his head. - And, Lewis, we don't need anything, but the thought is appreciated, thank you. - you smiled at the driver, and he just nodded in response, but you had a sneaky suspicion that one day there will be a package waiting for you on the doorstep.

- By the way, we were talking with Valtteri about something... - he started, and you looked at the Fin, not even trying to hide the curiosity. - ...how we, as drivers, could help you guys with the media. And I had a rather radical idea, so I wanted to run it by you before implementing it. - you nodded your head, urging him to continue. - Because as you said, there is no way you'll be left alone for a while, and there is a high chance that we will be asked about the two of you as well. So, I thought that we could just... Thank them for the interview, end it, and walk away without saying anything more. - he explained, and you couldn't help but wonder when exactly they found the time to discuss it between the party, sleep, and all the hecticness of the morning.

- This way it'll send a clear message that we're sticking together as a family. - Valtteri added and you took a moment to contemplate their words. You looked up at Toto, trying to gauge what he thought about it, and he didn't have to say a word for you to know how he felt.

- As much as I love the idea, I think it should be run first by your PR team. There might be a clause somewhere that you're obligated to do a certain amount of media time, during race week. - you started carefully. Now, that you realized what a clusterfuck this whole situation was, you thought about everything in a much more professional and calculated way. - Plus, I wouldn't want you to face additional heat because of us.

- Neither of us would. - Toto echoed, and you could hear a smile in his voice.

- I don't think we... care about that...? - Lewis looked at Valtteri with a question in his eyes as if he wasn't sure.

- No. - Fin added with a smile - And we want to take the stand. - it wasn't rare to see them agreeing on something, but it still felt nice - knowing that they had your back even though they found out just a couple of days ago.

- Yeah, because the longer it goes, the longer all of us will have to deal with it. And it's just not right... - you couldn't help but sigh at his words, because he was 100% right. - But of course, as you said, we will run it by PR first.

- Thank you, guys... And I really appreciate it. It means a lot. - you gave them both a gentle smile. - And we will do an official interview, so hopefully, it will satisfy the public at least a little.

- Oh, you're doing one? When? - Lewis was much more interested in that than Valtteri, who went back to reading his book.

- We're still a little bit fuzzy on the details, but if it goes our way - Wednesday. - you answered, but before Lewis managed to ask more questions about it, the pilot said over the intercom that you'll be landing soon, and everyone should take their seats and fasten their belts. Before you got up, you wanted to place a quick kiss on Toto's cheek, but he turned his head and intercepted your lips with a cheeky grin.

Eventually, you were back in your chair, and it wasn't long before you were steady on the ground. It was the first time you flew on the private jet, so you weren't exactly sure what was the customs procedure, however, you definitely weren't expecting an officer to board the plane and process you right then and there, but you were grateful for not having to deal with the crowds of the airport.

Before Toto even started the car, you gently touched his shoulder and mouthed silently "Your Kids" while you waited for Laura to answer. He smiled as a thank you and left the car to call his children and explain everything in more detail, while you went off at the speed of light as soon as your best friend picked up the phone, explaining your plan and overall situation, at the same time confirming that she will have exclusivity on the interview. You knew that appearing on Laura's show was coming with risks and exposing you and Toto to an even wider audience was one of them, but it was a risk you were willing to take. You quickly bounced the ideas for the placement, set, wardrobe, and everything else, and because you knew each other so well, something that usually took at least a few days and a bunch of emails, took you around 15 minutes.

Toto was still outside, talking with his children, so you also shot a message to the other potential interviewers, thanking them for being willing to take that opportunity and rescinding your offer. You also quickly realized there was not a chance in hell you would be able to handle everything by yourself during the next week, so you took two deep breaths and started compartmentalizing and finding possible opportunities to delegate.

First - you shot a message to Mellie, asking if she could talk, and almost instantly after you click "send", she was calling you back, which didn't even surprise you.

- Hey Mells, are you free this week? - you asked, without even exchanging pleasantries, because in the type of friendship you had, they were simply not needed.

- Do you really have to ask, hun? - her laugh sounded like delicate chimes. You could almost imagine her lounging next to her pool while a professional chef was somewhere in the background preparing breakfast.

- I know, I know, but I wouldn’t be myself if I didn't ask. - you chuckled. - So, I'm gonna need someone to oversee the renovation of my apartment into a recording studio, and since you are elbows deep in real estate and you know my taste pretty well... - you didn't even have to finish.

- Say no more! I was bored anyway. What's the timeline? - she asked with pure excitement in her voice. You knew she liked to help her friends and had both the means and the time to do so, but you still felt a little bit bad asking her for such a huge endeavor.

- If we'll pack and move everything tonight, you could start tomorrow. Do you think you'll be able to finish by the end of the week? - you asked.

- Honey, with the right equipment I can finish in less than two minutes. - she laughed and you couldn't help but chuckle. - But in all seriousness, if I'll be able to get the crew there tomorrow, everything should be ready on Friday. - it was much sooner than you expected, but you also knew she had her tricks.

- Even if I wanted to build a wall separating my current office upstairs from the downstairs? Because I would like to put the recording studio there. - you made sure.

- That won't be a problem. It will be enough time for the wall to dry, so you're good. I'm gonna prepare a few sketches before we'll meet in the afternoon, ok? - you could almost hear gears shifting in her head.

- Ok, but just to be quick. Guest bedroom into a quiet place to recharge, my bedroom into an office that can be quickly turned into a conference room. The kitchen and bathrooms stay as they are, but you can of course make changes, I'm leaving it up to you. And the salon should be an office space with 8 working stations. Oh, and that closet next to the terrace into an equipment closet. Just please don't treat the budget as a light suggestion... - you quickly explained. Fortunately, Mellie was at your place enough times to know the layout pretty well.

- The wardrobe on the left to the entry stays as a wardrobe, I assume. And you want to leave two full bathrooms with no one living there? - she asked, already making mental notes.

- Yeah, it stays, and the bathrooms... I mean, I'm not sure about the smaller one, but overall, I plan on having 11 or 12 people hired, so at least two toilets would be nice. I mean, some of them could definitely work remotely on a daily basis, but one bathroom definitely won't be enough. - you said after taking a few seconds to think.

- I can renovate the bigger one, get rid of the bathtub, add a wall or two, and fit two stalls there. And leave the one with the shower as it is. - she offered.

- That actually... sounds amazing. Thank you, Mellie. - you were grateful for the suggestion because you haven't even considered doing something like that.

- You got it. Anything else you have in mind? - she inquired, and you went through your mental list.

- No, not really. I trust you. - you eventually replied.

- Ok, then I'm hanging up and scheduling the crew for tomorrow at noon. Love you, Boo. - she made a kissing sound over the phone, and you laughed.

- Thanks again, Mells. - she was the one who hung up, and you took another deep breath, deciding what to prioritize next, but just as you were about to make another call, you saw a message from Laura, sent from her business email, which meant it was an official BBC business. The message included a very lenient but still long contract, and you didn't have the time to go through every point, but just as you were about to ask Toto if you could steal Mark again, you got a private message from Laura.

"I've fought for it, it's good, but you can still run it by your lawyer. Both of you can sign it before the photo shoot."

And a few seconds later you got another email from her, this time containing the exact schedule for Wednesday, and extensive details about the photoshoot that - if you agreed - would take place in about two hours. Laura also compiled a file with the names of the photographer, stylist, make-up artist, and hair stylist, their previous works, and a few proposals of what they had in mind for you and Toto. Sometimes you forgot how quickly your best friend could work, and how detail-oriented she was, for which right now, you were extremely grateful. You could see that she definitely included herself in every part of the process, judging by what options were prepared for you.

Just as you were about to look closer at the proposed wardrobe, Toto came back to the car and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek.

- Everything went ok...? - you asked, still scrolling through the file. Usually, he had your full attention, but right now, there was no time.

- Yes. As it turns out, you are Rosie's favorite reporter on the grid, so you helped me score some points back, because she - indeed - found out from one of her friends. But they both can't wait to meet you in person. - he gave you a warm smile when you quickly glanced up from your phone. - And how are things on the battlefront? - he asked as he started the car.

- Hectic. The interview will be live on Wednesday at 21:00, but we will have to be there at 19:00. I already have the contracts, and Laura assured me that they're good, and I trust her, but we can still run them by a lawyer. - you looked at Toto with a question in your eyes.

- Forward them to Mark and add P1 before the title. That way he will look at them immediately. - he smiled, and you quickly did what he asked, while you were slowly rolling out of the parking lot.

- BBC also wants to do a quick photoshoot for promotional materials, because right now they have nothing to run an announcement with. - you added, sparing him all the specific details. - In the main studio at 11 if we agree of course.

- Wow, you are really quick, Schatzi. - he chuckled. - And the sooner we get it over with, the better.

- That was actually Laura. But we have about an hour to freshen up in my apartment before we go. - You quickly replied to the second email that the photo shoot is a go.

- A lot can be done in one hour... - he said in a teasing voice, but he immediately realized, that you had other plans, so he dropped the topic. What was happening right now, was your domain, and he intended to put his full trust in you. - Is there any way I could help? - he asked sincerely.

- Actually... Could I borrow Mark for a few days? I will need help with registering a new company, trademarks, and the first few contracts. Just until I find my own lawyer who I could trust. - you asked, with your eyes still glued to your phone. - And do you want to choose your clothes and hairstyle for the interview?

- Of course, you can. I have him on retainer, and I never used his full hours. And – just an idea - you can stay with his company, I'm sure he will find someone who will suit your future needs. But for now, I will let him know that he should expect a bigger workload from you. - you were extremely grateful for that because everything was happening so fast. You landed in England not even an hour ago, and you already had your next few days fully packed. - You have a much better sense of fashion than me, Schatzi, so I’m leaving it up to you... - he answered the second question, and gently placed his hand on your thigh, seeking the physical touch that brought both of you comfort. You quickly chose the hair, make-up, and clothes for the photo shoot, sent it in the reply to Laura's email, and took another deep breath, holding it for a few seconds in your lungs. So many things were happening at the same time, and you had to keep yourself in check because if you didn't, you would be crushed under the weight of all the decisions. And after analyzing everything, you came to the obvious conclusion - you needed more help if you wanted everything to be done on time, but that had to wait a moment because you just arrived at your apartment.

Toto took both his travel bag and your suitcase from the car and carried them into the building, while you wrapped your hand around his waist and hid under the pleasant weight of his arm, where - at least for a moment - the outside world couldn't reach you.

You didn't have to tell him where anything was, because by now he was here enough times to get familiar with not only the layout, but also with where you kept the extra bag of flour in the kitchen, or in which drawer you kept your fresh linen.

- I'm going to take a shower and make breakfast... You do you. - he stated, anticipating that you will be much busier during that hour than he will be. He was right, of course, and you were extremely grateful that he was willing to help.

- Thank you... - you gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before he brought your bags to the bedroom. While he was under the shower, you started scrolling through your contact list, searching for potential future employees. You needed trusted people, people who you worked with in the past and you knew from experience that you worked well together. So, when you spotted a familiar name almost on the top of your list, you immediately dialed her.

- Hey Lynn. It's Y/n Y/ln. - you introduced yourself because you weren't sure if she still had your number. - You were interning under me around a year ago when I was interviewing David Coulthard and you helped me with some research.

- Yes, of course, I remember. It's good to hear from you. - a soft, soothing voice replied, and you could almost hear the smile in it.

- I'm calling to offer you a job... - you started bluntly because you didn't have time to dance around the topic. - For one month as my assistant, and after that - as a full-time researcher, mostly into things related to F1. - you took a quick breath - I'm not gonna lie, the first month would be brutal, but I promise not to bother you outside of working hours. Starting pay is 3k, but it will be changed as your title will change, to reflect your new position. Insurance, private medical care with dental, and all that legal shabang will, of course, be covered. For the first month, I would need you with me in London, but after that - the job can be performed remotely, and the equipment will be provided. - you quickly hashed out the details. You didn't have everything mentioned lined up yet, but you thought about it a lot yesterday, and you knew you wanted to be a good employer, and from experience, you also knew what most people needed from a job to stay happy and loyal, and that's what you were aiming for.

- What's the catch? - she asked in that smooth tone.

- You would have to start tomorrow. And like I've said - the first month will be brutal. - you replied, slowly suspecting which way she was leaning, but you still gave her a few more moments to analyze the pros and cons.

- Since your departure from the Network was rather public, I assume it would be for some other project? - she quickly deduced.

- Yes. I'm starting my own company, and I'm piecing together a crew for it. It will focus on long and extensive interviews. First with current drivers, and if it will catch some winder under its wings - hopefully we will expand. - you replied.

- Independently or for a streaming service? - she dug a little bit deeper, and you couldn't help but admire just how quickly she was able to connect the dots.

- Fully independent.

- I'm in. - she replied as soon as you finished saying the last word.

- That's awesome! Thank you. I will send you the contract either today evening or tomorrow morning. And if I'll know that I won't be able to send it to you today, I will let you know so you won't be pointlessly waiting for it. But for now - do you have any more questions? - your heart honestly felt lighter than just an hour ago.

- What time do I start tomorrow? And where do we meet? - you couldn't help but laugh with relief.

- 9 AM. But you can start from your own apartment. I'm gonna need you to compile a list of external HR companies that also handle accounting, with the best independent reviews, not that bullshit point system from the most popular websites. I want someone legit who won't take bullshit. And since I already know you're good at what you do, the top 3 would be enough. And if you will have enough time after that - I will also need a company that offers both web and graphic design services, with a focus on quality and time; budget right now doesn't matter. - you explained and just as you finished, you felt your phone vibrating with yet another notification.

- HR. Web and Graphic Design. - she repeated.

- I know you're already confirmed, but I'm gonna ask once more. Are you sure you want this job? - you asked because yet again - you got this feeling that everything was happening with the speed of light.

- I'm sure. To be honest, I've somehow landed in a stereotypical corpo-job, so I'm taking your offer as a sign to stop slaving away. - she laughed, and you joined her. - Plus, I know you keep your promises, and you wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t serious.

- And you won't have any problems with resigning on the spot? - you made sure.

- Not with the contract I have with them. - she soothed your worries.

- Ok then. I'll speak to you tomorrow. Oh, and send me your personal details, including the current address for the contract and the courier. I'll try to get a new phone and computer to you by tomorrow, and if you have any preferences for your set-up, please include that in your message. I honestly want you to be as satisfied with everything as possible.

- Do I have a set budget? - she asked quickly before you managed to hang up, and you had to think about it for a moment.

- Don't make me regret it, but... no. Just be sensible and don't order something with i9. - you both laughed again. - Thank you, Lynn.

- You got it, boss. - she laughed and ended the call. You quickly checked the notification that came during your conversation. It was an email from Mark giving you a green light to sign the contract with BBC and asking how you managed to negotiate such terms. You quickly replied and asked if it would be possible to talk over the phone. And yet again today - he was calling you almost as soon as you send the message.

- Hi Mark, I hope I'm not interrupting you too much.

- Hey Y/n. Not at all, I cleared my whole week for you, per Toto's request. - you made a mental note to thank your wonderful partner for helping you so much. - From what I understood, you will need help with registering your company and you would also like to find our own lawyer, is that correct? - he was godsent. And someone definitely was watching over you, because considering how hectic everything was, it was impressive that - at least for now - everything went so smoothly.

- That's right. I will also need help with drafting t first few employee contracts. - you added, as you got up from the couch and started walking around the apartment to focus better on the conversation.

- That's understandable. I assume Ltd? - he inquired.

- Yes. How long does it usually take?

- I will send you a form to fill out and a list of documents you will need to provide. If you'll be able to send it back to me before noon, the company will be registered by the end of today. - his voice was confident.

- You're joking... - you couldn't believe it.

- I assure you, I am not. It usually takes 3 to 5 hours to fully register and process a new Ltd. - he replied, and you were stunned because suddenly everything started to feel a little bit too real. You took one deep breath to ground yourself and closed your eyes.

- Ok then. - you finally replied after a moment of silence.

- Would you mind if I asked you something?

- Ask away. - you chuckled and resumed your walk around the apartment, just as Toto was leaving the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his hips, and you couldn't help but smile.

- Do you already have someone in mind for your permanent HR position? - you stopped again because you weren't expecting that question.

- I have someone looking into external companies to hire from. Why...?

- If you wouldn't mind some good old nepotism, I would like to send you a CV of my daughter. She specializes in employment law and just got her undergrad degree in business management. She has 2 years of experience in a similar position in a tech startup. I can also include her references. - he stopped for a moment, and you honestly needed a minute to process what you heard. - Just a CV. And if you'll like what you see, you could set up a proper interview. I'm not trying to force anything here. - you took a moment to think as you resumed your walk around the apartment at a little bit faster pace.

- Can you send me her CV now? - you requested, because honestly - you wanted to ride that wave of green lights and squeeze as much good luck from today as you could.

- I'm asking her to send it to your email right now. You should have it in a few minutes. - you could hear him smiling on the other side of the line.

- Ok, I will get back to her before 10:30. - everything was going so smoothly, that you were honestly starting to get suspicious, because life was never that easy, and some part of your mind was waiting for the other shoe to drop. After that, you quickly went through the possible private medical packages, sports cards, and the terms of employment you would like to offer your employees, which included a small budget every month for self-improvement, which could be spent either on learning new skills or improving your mental health by relaxing. You also went through the terms of NDAs, and something that popped into your head when Lynn asked you about the equipment - a payment plan to buy it out from the company by deducting it in installments from the pension. By the time you ended the call, it was almost 10, and Toto finished making simple 3 ingredient crepes, which were his specialty, but you weren't done just yet.

You opened an email from Mark's daughter that included a letter of recommendation as well as her CV, and you recognized one of the companies she was working in around 3 years ago because one of Sammy's sisters worked there. So, you quickly called your friend.

- Hey Brocksby... Can you send me Lizzie's number? I have a quick question.

- I mean... I could... but I'm at home and we're eating breakfast, so... you know... I can just pass the phone to her. - you laughed.

- Thanks, Love... You have my gratitude. – you waited a moment until you heard a familiar voice. - Hi Lizzie, sorry to bother you with such a random question so early, but by any chance, do you know Charlotte Zane?

- Hey Y/n! Not a problem at all... And of course, I know One-Fear-Charlie. - she laughed.

- One-Fear-Charlie? - you inquired with a slight smile.

- Well, yeah. Do you know that meme in a form of a comic panel? The one with a guy in a t-shirt that says, "No Fear" and then it changes to "One Fear"? - she asked, and this time you laughed.

- Yeah, I know it.

- So, she was that one fear. - Lizzie explained further

- Was she that bad? - you already started working on a gentle way to reject her CV, but your friend’s sister continued.

- Not bad, just... Strict, I guess? I mean - she knew how to have fun, but when it came to work - everything had to be absolutely perfect and every scenario had to be included in writing, so when you got an email from her - you knew that something was missing from your work, and you basically fucked up. She wasn't a bitch about it though, and she was really patient with new people, but you know...

- She was really good at finding imperfections? - you offered before she found the right words.

- Yeah.

- Did you like working with her? And her as a person overall? - you asked, slowly erasing that speech to gently turn Charlotte down.

- I mean - like I've said - she wasn't a bitch, and always gave you the opportunity to correct your mistakes before someone higher got a chance to see them. She was strict but definitely fair... And personally...? We weren't super close, but she seemed ok. She mostly hung out with paralegals, not us in the bottom of the barrel, but she was always kind to us on breaks and stuff. She had a really dry sense of humor though... You know, cheesy dad jokes and wordplay. - she offered.

- Thank you so much, Lizzie. And sorry again for bothering you. Say goodbye to your brother from me.

- No problem. And take care, Y/n! - you quickly hung up and sighed.

- Eat. You have 20 minutes to take a shower and eat something before we have to leave. - Toto quickly intercepted your phone before you got the chance to do anything else with it and pushed a plate with crepes with plum jam under your nose.

- I need to reply to an email... - you groaned, but despite your words, you started eating.

- Dictate then. Just don't choke... - he smiled, and you chuckled as he placed a small kiss on the top of your head.

- In reply to Charlotte Zane - Could we meet today at 2 PM in Saint Luke's Garden? - you swallowed a bite as Toto typed on your phone. - My signature... - another bite. - …and in PS "Not an official interview, just a walk, so dress in whatever you feel comfortable in. Preferably no business attire. - you continued with a piece of a crepe in your mouth. - Add a smiley face and hit send. - he did as you asked.

- You have a message from Mellie asking if she should include computers in the budget. - you nodded in reply, and Toto passed that in a message form. - And another one from Laura, telling you not to wash your hair or wear any make-up because everything will be done on set. - you were almost inhaling your breakfast, so instead of speaking you just showed him a thumb up, and she sent said emoji in reply. You looked at the clock, took the rest of the crepe in your hand, and almost ran to the bathroom because you had less than 15 minutes.

After the shower, you quickly chose fresh clothes, but before you got dressed, you quickly started applying lotion to your body.

- Hey, could you open the last email from Mark, and download the attachment? - you yelled loud enough for Toto to hear you in the kitchen, or wherever he was. Instead of yelling back, he came into the bedroom and leaned on the doorframe. He was watching you as you finished moisturizing your skin, and you gave him a small smile when you caught him. - The attachment. What information is needed? - you asked, while you put on your underwear, but he didn't reply immediately, instead letting his gaze linger. Only when you looked at him for the second time, he unlocked your phone and started reading the form. Fortunately, most of the information you could provide from memory, or you could find it on your phone, so at least you didn't have to dig through your apartment in search of any documents, and you could fill out that form in the car.

You were ready exactly four minutes before 10:30, but before you left the apartment in a hurry, Toto gently grabbed you by the arms and stopped you from moving anywhere for a moment, and your gaze almost instinctively found his eyes.

- Breathe. Relax your shoulders. Unclench your jaw. Close your eyes... And for one minute just... breathe. - he said. You wanted to protest, because you had to leave, but his grip on your arms told you that it would be futile, so you did as he asked. With every slow breath, your racing mind started to slowly calm down. All the things that you had to do today were still there, but they were slowly stopping to fight for the place in front of the line.

After the full minute, Toto released your arms, but instead of running out of the apartment, you wrapped your arms around him, rested your face against his chest, and stayed like that for one moment longer.

It was easy to get lost when the pace of the day was so rapid, but you were fortunate to have someone who understood that and was able to help you find yourself again.

- Thank you... - you mumbled against his shirt, and he just pressed a soft kiss to your temple in reply. It was his time to be your rock, just as you were his yesterday. 

A/N 2: Please don’t feel obligated/pressured to reblog, because I write mostly for myself. A comment would be appreciated though :) Love, G.

[silver-grasp]

Narrative Power in Arda

An embarrassing number of months ago, I alluded to narrative as an in-universe force within the Silmarillion in my tags on a post I have since lost, which I feel merits further elaboration. The short version is that crafting a story carries meaningful weight and power in Arda, which is not much of a reach considering that 1) telling a story in a certain way has power even in the real world, and 2) music is already well-established as an important medium and means of magic in Middle Earth. I think it is relevant to consider this aspect when discussing the nature and weight of words in the Silmarillion, whether it be curses, dooms, oaths, or anything else.

To begin with, it is difficult to tease apart what I will call in-universe narrative from narrative in the sense that a guy called Tolkien wrote this whole story down, on purpose, with various story arcs that come to various narratively satisfying conclusions. The best illustrative example of in-universe narrative, thus, is Finrod’s duel in song against Sauron, because Tolkien could have had the song battle work however he wanted, but he chose to make it about storytelling. We joke about Finrod and Sauron’s rap battle, but their contest really is a battle of narratives – particularly cultural narratives. To quote:

Then sudden Felagund there swaying Sang in answer a song of staying, Resisting, battling against power, Of secrets kept, strength like a tower, And trust unbroken, freedom, escape; […] And all the magic and might be brought Of Elvenesse into his words. […] The sighing of the sea beyond, Beyond the western world on sand, On sand of pearls in Elvenland.

This is arguably the story of the Noldor, as told by Finrod – all the beauty and power of Aman, but brought by the Noldor to Middle Earth in their flight to escape the control of the Valar and avenge their king against Morgoth’s evil. This is his choice of story to wield against Sauron, and it makes sense. It invokes the Noldor’s heroism against Morgoth in maintaining the long siege, as well as their rejection of all the higher powers and his own faithfulness to his oath to Barahir that led him to this point. It’s a good story, but Sauron shatters it with a single invocation, because this narrative Finrod spins of the Flight of the Noldor cannot accommodate the atrocity that was the Kinslaying at Alqualonde.

The outcome of the song battle is not decided based on raw power, or skill in crafting magic or spells, or even singing ability. It is won on the merits of narrative: Finrod’s story doesn’t work; he cannot narratively reconcile the reality of the Kinslaying with “trust unbroken, freedom, escape,” and thus Sauron has the victory (1). Thus, we can conclude that “does the story work” is a legitimate part of how magic functions in Middle Earth.

This should not come as a surprise; Middle Earth (and the world itself) were created/predicted by the Music of the Ainur, which is itself a narrative work of music. It, arguably, puts the story in history (2). The narrative of the Ainulindale, moreover, is disrupted by Morgoth in much the same way Sauron disrupts Finrod’s narrative in their contest. But whereas Finrod’s story collapses under the contradictions introduced by Sauron, Eru incorporates Morgoth’s discord into the Music to create a new, greater theme than the one before. This is not an accident, and it shows that Eru, as God and Creator (read: Author), understands narrative better than Morgoth does: any good story has conflict of one sort or another. That’s what makes them stories, rather than a pleasant but boring account of a series of pleasant but boring events.

This is to say, Tolkien makes the necessity of having a plot arc into part of his theological worldbuilding. There is, frankly, a lot you could say about that, but I am not going to, because it is somewhat off-topic from the point I’m trying to make and also I really don’t know where to begin.

Additionally, while Finrod’s own narrative fails, the overall narrative of Middle Earth picks up where he left off and turns his defeat into a fourth-act crisis point, the abyss which makes way for Luthien’s subsequent victory over both Sauron and Morgoth and triumphant retrieval of the Silmaril. Finrod may not have known how to turn Sauron’s narrative disruption to his own ends, but Eru does.

Returning to the Doom of the Noldor, while Manwe is said to be the closest of the Valar to Eru in thought, I would argue that Namo, as the Vala of fate, is the closest of the God-as-Author aspect of Eru. His domain, fate, is closely linked with the Music. I said earlier that Middle Earth was created/predicted by the Music, and that blurriness between creation and prophecy is important for understanding the nature of Fate in Tolkien’s work - there is a careful tightrope walked between free will and determinism (3). I argue that the Music additionally suggests that fate in Arda is really Narrative at work.

So where does that leave, for instance, the Doom of the Noldor? Is it curse or prophecy? Punishment meted out by the gods or natural consequences of an unprecedented violent attack? Framing it in these binaries is reductive no matter which side you come down on. The Doom is neither a curse nor a prophecy: it is a narrative.

The soon-to-be Exiles, led by Feanor, kick off their narrative in maybe the worst way possible (murder). This is, objectively, a very bad inciting incident – stories that start with murder don’t tend to turn out well for the people doing the murdering. Within the Music, and the fabric of Arda’s fate, the Noldor have narrowed their narrative options significantly. “Slain ye may be, and slain ye shall be,” for have they not already slain their own kin? But it is very difficult to argue for the Doom as purely prophetic. The text itself indicates in multiple places the judgment or wrath of the Valar as something laid upon the house of Feanor and all who follow them, not simply natural consequences. There is a tangible weight to the Doom, and a sense after the War of Wrath that it is something that can be lifted.

Mandos says, you have chosen your story to be a tragedy by opening with a tragedy. But when this is spoken by Narrative himself, it takes on a weight greater than that of a mere prediction. The Doom defines the genre of the story that is to follow: Tears unnumbered ye shall shed. And they did.

The story, of course, is never truly over. But I’ll leave eucatastrophe for another day.

Footnotes: (1) As a side note, I am forever thinking about arrogantemu’s fic “Beyond the Western World,” in which Finrod says “I’d staked everything on an innocence I didn’t have.” Credit where credit is due for influencing my thinking on this subject.

(2) Tolkien as a linguist would undoubtedly be aware that the words come from the same root, and that other modern languages have not in fact separated the meanings of “work of fiction” and “account of real events” into separate words.

(3) To write a proper meta on this subject I would have to dig much deeper into other sources, but from my understanding fate in Tolkien’s works works very similarly to the Anglo-Saxon concept of wyrd – there’s a very interesting line in Beowulf, I believe, about how “for undaunted courage, fate spares the man it has not already marked” (paraphrased). I highly recommend reading more about it for a better understanding of fate in Middle Earth.

[archivalofsins]

So, let's talk. This is going to be a serious discussion about hyper-sexualization and hypo-sexualization.

TL;DR- Sexualizing characters is an issue but not simply because sexualization is occcuring. Everyone has different needs, interests, and ways they interact with the media they enjoy. All of which are worthy of respect. However, other's need their right to not be exposed to things that cause them discomfort respected to. So, it's always best to properly tag things with consideration towards those we share this space with. It's important that when doing what you want you spare consideration to those you can.

Now, Gunsli why would you be bringing up this? Well remember this post. In this post I said this,

While a factually sound statement it seems to have been misinterpreted. So, let us elaborate on it real quick.

It is important that everyone tag things properly with respect and consideration toward other fans.

People interact with sexuality and the concept of being sexualized in different ways. What may not seem like much to one person will more than likely be too much for another. This is where-

Hypo-sexualization and Hyper-sexualization come into play.

Source (CW: MENITIONS OF SECUAL ABUSE): X

Sexualization is a topic that is heavily rooted in individual perspective. Not only when it comes to real life people but fictional characters as well. What one person may find pleasing to read or see art of involving a certain character another person may dislike. However, the conversation I was personally having about Mikoto was never about whether or not he should be sexualized.

That's irrelevant. People should continue to do what they please in a way that is considerate of the other people in the community around them. Literally it is that easy.

But isn't sexualizing him when he has such a disorder bad?

Not sexualizing him solely based on the idea that he has a disorder is bad as well. People with dissociative disorders can and sometimes do want to be sexualized. If Mikoto was a real person then forcefully sexualizing him would be an issue. However, he is not.

Well, since we know the characters can hear what we're saying I'm uncomfortable with it.

I'm right there with anyone who is feeling that way. It's incredibly embarrassing to think that some of the views we've all seen now and again can or have been heard by Mikoto for the amount of time that it has been. For people who have experienced forced sexualization this can be a wildly upsetting thought and they have every right to be upset about it and display that upset.

However, no one has the right to tell others how they should enjoy things. Regardless of how much it causes them discomfort. In the same vein no one else has the right to continually expose people to something they have said they dislike. This is why personally I think tagging things appropriately is the best way to do things moving forward. We can't control how people talk about Mikoto on other platforms.

However, we can control if we respect and show consideration for the people within the fandom on the platform we are on. Regardless of how they enjoy a character or don't enjoy them. Regardless of if our opinions may vary. I don't think anyone here wants to have their actions cause anyone real life harm.

Yes, the sexualization of Mikoto's character can be upsetting considering one's lived experiences. However, derivative works are a way for many people to explore aspects of their own sexuality safetly and that aspect of fandom should be respected as well. Representation matters and as I stated in the previous post Dissociative Identiy Disorder is not a monoloith.

What one person finds unhealthy to be displayed in this instance may not be unhealthy to others. There are people that have Dissociative Identity Disorder that will, can, and should find the sexualization of Mikoto's character comforting. Simply because it displays that someone with the disorder can be desired in that way.

Then there will be others like me who dislike it. Because at times it can feel as though Mikoto canonically having Dissociative Identiy Disorder isn't being fully explored and it's just there to check off a switch kink.

“A switch is someone who demonstrates both characteristics and is comfortable with both submissive and dominant roles,” X

Which no one is really being slick about but like you don't need to do this with the one character that has Dissociative Identity Disorder literally anyone can be a switch.

Yet again I must stress him being sexualized was not my issue. The way he was being sexualized was. Something I failed to fully elaborate on in my previous point. So, I will now do so here.

My issue was the fact that the way Mikoto is sexualized veers into slut shaming. Something that many are very reluctant to say can happen to males, but it does.

The comments I've seen made about Mikoto are simply disgusting to me because they've literally mostly been,

"He knew what he was doing being shirtless in his video that many times"

Me: You mean changing his clothes in the comfort of his own home? You mean taking a shower and bath in the comfort of his own home?

Regardless of how someone presents themselves and where they are not responsible for someone else finding them attractive or interpreting them sexually. I wouldn't be okay with this being said about a male or female character. Simply because no one is responsible for what a person finds sexually attractive or not.

When I said what I said it wasn't meant to be from the lens of stop sexualizing this character you grossy gross's oh no my pure eyes have been sullied by your heathen ways.

No, it was literally making a very offhanded comment about something that had been bugging me since MeMe released actually since before Milgram was even a thing. The hyper-sexualization of men and the retraumatization of males who have experienced sexual violence through fetishization.

This was never about what people in the fandom should and shouldn't do. It was about interacting with the concept that males have sexual trauma too. That is ignored and heavily overlooked by society. Along with the fact that if Mikoto was Yuno most of this shit wouldn't be being said and provably so,

Yuno dressing like this was mostly described as impowering, liberating, her owning her sexuality.

I have to stress Mikoto was implied to be thrist trapping for taking a shower and bath in his own fucking home last trial. Yet Yuno is here in full lingerie, and I didn't even see one thing talking poorly about her to the extent THIS MAN HAS BEEN FOR WEARING WHAT HE IS IN THIS THUMBNAIL.

Naw you got me fucked up. It was never about the fact that sexualization exists. Because that's always going to exist. It was about how that is disproportionately displayed. Men are just as worthy to their own sexual autonomy and the respect of that as women are. That will always be my line with this.

Forced sexualization is bad whether it's happening to a man or woman. The characters should not be being discussed as though they are real people but the behavior that the fandom demonstrates publicly should be regarded with the consideration of real people. Because how one conducts themselves in the real world can and will impact real people.

[burnin0akleaves]

This has been on the horizon for a while, but I think a part of me just didn't want to admit it until recently. I'll cut straight to the chase, you probably won't see much RA content from me anymore.

The topic of the fandom, the tags or quality of the posts have been discussed a few times already -mostly by me I think which should have been a warning sign haha- so I'm not going to go into too much detail. I'll just share my perspective.

The fandom simply just doesn't have much to offer me at the moment.

Everyone knows that a huge part of my interest in RA was and always has been TRR Will. If he didn't exist, I would have lost interest in the series a LONG time ago. But I can cook my own meals for only so long before I get tired and want to eat out for a change, and unfortunately for me no one is serving the food I want at the moment. I still love love love this man, but there just isn't enough content for him in the fandom (except the ones made by me) for me to want to actively keep engaging with it.

Not only that, art just doesn't get the same reception as it used to here. If I can draw another interest of mine and get triple the engagement, then it's just easier for me to be motivated to share my art of that other thing. Sure I draw because I want to first, but suprisingly for everyone I do want to draw things other than RA. And if those other things are more appreciated, then it just means I'm more motivated to keep posting them for everyone else to see. Most people probably remember I used to be very active in discussions and character analyses on here as well, but I just don't see the space for that sort of content here anymore. (Sorry to that one anon who said they liked my writing, you know who you are)

I still love RA and TRR Will, but I'll probably keep my thoughts or the occasional sketch I draw for myself from now on. I just don't feel motivated to share it.

Also just in case anyone asks my opinion after the recent discussion at the ask blog; yes, I don't like the current state of most of the posts here either. I don't want to go out bad-mouthing others though, the current style of content in the fandom just isn't my taste. Which is alright, maybe I've simply grown out of the series! The book getting newer fans is a good thing and I hope they have as much fun as I did when I first joined. This fandom has been my home for years now but I think it's around time I go out and explore more.

I'll still keep up with the series. Again, my fixation on Will is very much alive and well. It sucks that I don't have the energy to share my passion with others anymore, but I'm sure people will do just fine without me mauling every other guy that completely misunderstands his character to death. Don't get me started on the beard shit, genuinely frustrating how a fandom revolving around a book series has 0 literacy at times.

TLDR: I'm not going to be active in the RA fandom anymore because of multiple reasons. I still love TRR Will but I'm not motivated to share my work here in the current state of things. I loved my time here and I hope everyone else does too.

-

Also if my feelings change in the future, then that will be that and I might come back. I'm not sending myself off to exile here. I'm not writing any of this because I believe I have to explain myself either, I'm doing it because I simply want to avoid causing people confusion. Feel free to send me RA related asks still, just don't expect to see me around the RA spaces as much. I'll stay in all the servers obviously, and my presence will be around indirectly since most of my friends are still here. Also, if you draw TRR Will do feel free to send him to me in the dms. Love that guy and his apprentice so much, wish more people did.

[a-smol-cosplayer]

Okay here is my master list of Wyler fic recs cause literally two people asked and I cannot control myself.

Psa I have probably read at least 70% of the fics on this tag in ao3 however these are my bestest/favourite ones. most of them are ongoing bc this fandom is hella new but still :) pls check ratings and tags before u read obvi. Also none of these fics are out to hurt u (as far as I’m aware) some of the longer ones might have angst but I’m here for relationship, plot and fluff rather than angst and pain (we go enough of that in the show). Some of the ongoing ones have updates every two/three days? Some haven’t updated since I have read them but most of them are under a week and a half old so I still have hope. There are ordered in shortest to longest in each category 

alright enough chitter chatter, buckle ur seatbelts people here we go!!

Finished 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43546942

Ocean Blue Eyes, Looking In Mine (I Feel Like I Might, Sink And Drown And Die) - cute Wyler one shot where they are dating at nevermore, after season 1, {1,876 words}

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43494253#main

Grocery shopping in c minor - alternate au grocery store, Tyler works there, love the fact that he’s still super sweet but slightly unhinged, characterisation on point, {3,759 words}

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43386558/chapters/109065348

A Half Life - Tylers pov of the first ep or so, kinda angsty bc its Tyler and he’s struggling, but still nice, not sure if its technically Wyler but its got the vibes {4 chaters but only 4,272 words}

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43332840 

Yeah, all you did was smile (‘cause I’m a mastermind) - canon divergent but still similar story line, Tylers pov, love how they have chemistry, no hyde Tyler but still really good, {8,536 words}

In progress - y’all don’t understand, I religiously check these for updates every single day

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43333995/chapters/108929727

What if… you helped me change? Basically what could have happened after the kiss in ep 7, minor kidnapping but we forgive him bc he was freaking out, no real ‘hyde Tyler’ more like ‘idk how this happened but I want to make it better Tyler’ {3 chapters, 3,592 words so far}

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43353318/chapters/108979656

I never fell again - only really the set up so far, Wednesday comes back to school and finds that Tyler has come back and is enrolled in nevermore, she hates (misses) him so much, na they love each other {4 chapters 5,505 words so far}

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43278591/chapters/108783186#workskin

On Wednesdays we dance - wednesday buys a laptop and enters a horror writing group, and yet, one prompt is about a date, and Tyler offers so that he can have real life experience, another wednesday style date which is so cute, I really love this fic its super fluffy and nice {2/3 chapters 5,733 words so far}

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43470636/chapters/109282542#workskin

Perfect Match - READ THE TAGS (is rated T but really should be M/E) not much plot just wyler smut, and unholy use of the gates mansion, set after season 1 ends, also slightly off topic, but I like the hc that wednesday eats dried strawberries, idk why but I love it, anyways, read at ur own warning, {3/4 chapters finished 7,387 words so far}

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43286737/chapters/108804511

Frump Family Curse - from ep 8 into post season 1, we get some obsessed wyler at the start, and then, build on each of the characters for upcoming chapters, shaping up to be a really good fic. Also surprise Gomez and Donovan friendship over there cute murder children, 100% support {4 chapters 9,111 words so far}

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43354401/chapters/108982119

Woe to do with two soulmates - Wednesday has 2 soulmate marks (writing of their first words to her, I think we know where this is going👀) and doesn’t know which one she wants yet, deals with Wednesday and feelings and well and our adorable barista, some angst cause ew laurel but still really good, sort of plot twist?/something I didn’t expect but I’m glad it happened in chap 8 {9 chapters and 11,498 words and counting}

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43284108/chapters/108797994

My unconquerable soul - wyler, mostly after season 1 in the break, tags!! And ratings!! Please!! They are psycho but psycho for each other, some light kidnapping, the hyde side of Tyler appears a little, some angst but mostly dark fluff {10 chapters, 12,749 words so far}

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43482336/chapters/109313109

A Girl and her Monster Of Woe - post season 1, wednesday realising that she actually liked and missed him, in her own dark way obvi, setting up for them to meet again, sort of adresses how Tyler can stay and not be charged, yet again pls read rating and tags {7 chapters, 13,266 words so far}

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43424209/chapters/109164106

Woeful - wednesday comes in wondering about Hydes and the cute barista seems to know an awful lot about them👀 basically, Tyler knows he’s a hyde, but!! He isn’t the one murdering people, developing some alternate plot line which seems really good so far, plus wednesday and Tyler being cute in the weathervane {7 chapters, 13,906 words so far}

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43328175/chapters/108913881 

She’s mine - I know I keep telling y’all to check ratings but I don’t want any ‘I didn’t realise’ complains, basically Tyler realised that he fucked up and wednesday is actually his mate (I dislike that word but oh well) and basically fixes his mistakes in ep 8 ect ect, goes slightly further, loving the surprise Tyler/ajax friendship that comes with dating enid/wednesday, also good Adams adopting Tyler vibes {10 chapters 20,203 words and counting}

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43466823/chapters/109273329 

Just the Two (Three) of Us - wednesday if she’s known about the hyde from the beginning, I really love this fic, lots of wyler connection and chemistry and stuff, trust me, its good, the characterisation and writing is excellent {7 chapters 22,728 words so far}

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43329579/chapters/108917643

You can occupy my every sigh - wyler!! Literally my fav fic rn, Tyler already goes to nevermore, has its own plot line sorta, pls check the tags and rating before reading, Wednesdays characterisation is so good, got some Tyler/enid friend vibes as well, soulmates? Bonded? Something? idk its really good and super long - {11 chapters, 123,607 words and counting}

okay thats it!! let me know what u think in the comments, also if u have good fics that I haven't put on here I'm always open to more recs :)

[some-october-in-the-future]

Geraskier Fic Rec May 2023

Hello lovely people! I've decided to start my fic rec lists with some Witcher fic focusing on Geralt/Jaskier (Geraskier). I started reading Geraskier fic about three years ago and I'll probably never get tired of this pairing. The below list are some of my favorite fics I've stumbled upon throughout my time in the fandom - I hope you enjoy them! If there are any you think should be added (or you just have good recs) please feel free to send them my way, I'm always looking for new fic! And if you decide to read any of these, please heed the tags on ao3; some deal with topics not everyone wants to read about.

(The first two are probably my favorite Geraskier fics ever)

(if you like any of these let me know let's geek out together)

A Blessing, A Curse by aileenrose, E, 12.6k

"For a while, Jaskier doesn’t know he’s cursed. It feels like free will, going back down that mountain, just as dangerous down as the way up, and alone this time, too. The descent is fast, maybe even reckless, but Jaskier’s feeling numb and out-of-sorts anyways, Geralt’s words simmering in his mind, and at the time it doesn’t feel like he’s being pulled on by anything but his own desire to get away."

Based off a post that Geralt's words on the mountain are granted by the djinn.

one foot in sea by theundiagnosable, E, 23.5k

“Well, that’s a separate issue entirely, isn’t it?” Jaskier says, clearly enthused by being taken on. “I’m opposed to marriage on principle. Would you like to know why?”

“No,” says Geralt.

“I’ll tell you why,” says Jaskier.

to render it transparent by theundiagnosable, E, 24k

Geralt wakes up warm, peaceful, and utterly content, which is how he knows that something is severely wrong.

another dawn by alittlebitmaybe, T, 8k

“Well, we’ll have all the time in the world to make it official, right after we check out this—what was it?”

Geralt side eyes him. “Abandoned cottage. Disappearances. Strange sightings.”

“Right, yes, after we deal with this mysterious hut deep in the woods. No problem. Days and weeks and years aplenty after that."

all that was good, all that was fair (all that was me is gone) by xdandelionxbloomx, M, 7.5k

Somewhere, deep in a forest, a man drags himself from his grave by sheer power of will. He lies gasping on the forest floor and does not know who or what he is. The world is wide and wonderful, though, and there is so much to see.

Or, Jaskier is so stubborn that he literally comes back from the dead.

Shadowplay by sospes, M, 26.5k

Geralt returns to Oxenfurt on a bright May morning to find flowers laid outside Jaskier's rooms and a fresh grave in the cemetery.

Except, as Geralt is about to learn, in Jaskier's world things are never quite what they seem.

Bad Moon Rising by sharkhette, Not Rated, 9k

Jaskier had never expected it would be Geralt trying to kill him. Sure, the witcher liked to threaten as much, but they both knew he'd never make good on it. They were friends, whatever Geralt said.

But friends didn't try to rip each other's throats out with their teeth.

Or, Geralt returns from a hunt acting strange.

Valley of Plenty by aileenrose, E, 40.6k

Geralt's brother has died, and now he is raising a child on his own. The last thing he needs is an annoying sous-chef who won't leave him alone.

Or, a variously loose and faithful adaptation of the classic rom-com No Reservations.

The god of scraped knees. by spqr, M, 8k

Jaskier’s been pretending to be human for so long now that he hardly remembers what it feels like to be a sorcerer. He doesn’t want to remember what it feels like to be a sorcerer. But people still murmur his name with reverence in certain dim halls; Dandelion, Dandelion, destroyer of worlds. 

Lessons in Losing by didoandis, E, 11k

“We met five years ago or thereabouts,” Geralt says through gritted teeth. “You came up to me in a tavern near Posada, decided I would be good song material, and we’ve travelled together, off and on, ever since.”

“Huh,” Jaskier says.

“You remember?” Geralt tries to keep the note of hope out of his voice, and doubts he’s been successful.

“Not in the slightest,” Jaskier says cheerfully. “But I must admit it sounds like something I’d do.”

When Jaskier forgets their life together, Geralt learns an unexpected lesson.

[primaviva]

my experience with rashad.

tw: racism, use of the n-slur (hard r for context) proceed with these things in mind and also don’t go and bring him attention by going to his page as he should not be on the internet for his own peace and everyone else’s. this is going to be long and have a lot of receipts/descriptions. do not send him shit on my behalf i ain’t move like that.

before i start, i want it to be clear that this is not confirmed. however, he has a history of doing fake anons to himself and to his (ex) moots from what i learned to either start drama, topics, or fw them so he can act as a supporter or victim if he sent the anon to himself. and this is NOT me jumping on the rashad toxic gossip train of tumblr 2023 but this type of behavior is disgusting and inexcusable. i am very convinced that it was him and want to share it to you all while leaving it open to criticism and speculation but PLEASE be careful and pick up the warning signs with these people from everyone coming out with stories about him.

now let’s get tf into it cus it’s a lot…

me snd rashad became moots after he noticed me like a post of his i think. his first inbox to me was him trying to do self promo for a fic of his he was writing which i thought was odd and a little weird so i ignored it but he ended up continuing to inbox me random things (which i don’t generally mind) so we ended up building some mutual association or sum on here.

however, around 9-10 days ago, rashad had got “sent” something in his inbox about afro latinos. this was the ask:

now, i am not going to invalidate afro latinos who have experienced this. as a latino, i have experienced prejudice but that is never comparable to a black latino or a black person in general who is mixed/has another ethnic group of origin. these things are said to people and have been said to me in a different context. however, this ask was directly after he had posted it and on top of that it simply is not something someone would say as an ask. i don’t know how to describe it, but it’s too directed, crafted in a way that it’s wording seems like someone trying to be racist, and so on. we had never talked one on one either so i was confused when i first saw he had tagged me in a post since i hadn’t seen what it was about yet. i don’t know how to describe it but there’s something in the wording and just the context of it all that made this ask so in genuine almost as if it was something he had asked himself on another account.

this was me tagged in it:

i of course reblogged and said my peace and now disgusting and ignorant it was because afro latinos are a minority even in their own community because of generationally taught racism from colonization and just our traditional way of life and teaching stripped from us and our culture. but at the time, i had no idea of his “track record” of doing this type of thing or even the drama he was getting messy with behind what everyone knew of him.

i wanna say this as it’s very important as to what i have to show next. i am not black. i have never stated that and my day one followers and moots know that i have black family and in fact most of my relatives are afro latino but i, myself, am a lightskin latina which is something i feel i have always made known at least in sum damn context clues. i also want to add that this took place september 18th and that’s alway really important to the story.

ok now lemme get into why this is even a post.

shortly after this, i had gotten sick and ended up going on a break from just the internet in general because i needed to rest my ass up before even doin a thing like school and writing n allat. i was gone for around 3-4 days. so this post was long “old” or at least not being seen by anyone. and the thing is my spam posts never get hella reblogs unless i add hashtags or say something that makes everyone and they mama wanna join in on the conversation. so tell me why, exactly three days later, around the day i came back, i receive this in my inbox:

what the fuck is this? like genuinely.

i had not seen this the first day i came back because my inbox was flooded with my actives rambling to me, compliments, requests, etc until yesterday morning when i was taking the time to reply to some stuff and it had come up. i was gagged like this language was so vile, nasty, ignorant, and dumb as fuck. why? for starters, i am not afro latino or black. me and others believe that rashad was under the impression that by the few posts he saw of me talking about the issue that he just assumed i was afro latino as well. i am not and people that follow me from long before all this know that.

and like let’s really read the text and what it says because it’s speaking about black latinos not being latino because they have no “true” spanish or indigenous blood, which is something that this man is always talking about and presents, to me, as an insecurity (a valid one DONT get it twisted) as a afro latino. he, or “anon,” goes on to call me the n word with the hard r multiple times and tells me i should have stayed a slave and then goes on to bring up taino ancestors (my ancestors) which i just found beyond disrespectful and crossing a big ass fucking line. im not sure if im describing this well, but just by the way that these anon asks are worded they seem very “fake” as in not that this couldn’t happen or hasn’t been told to anyone, but it doesn’t feel organic and just feels like forced racist comics to give you content.

he also texted me for the first time in tumblr dms the same day as this post or the day after the ask was sent to me, i believe, so coincidence or not …

i am 85% sure this is rashad.

to me, it feels like he did this as a way to maybe validate how he feels as a afro latino with other mixed latin im him since afro latinos face so much prejudice. however, to seek validation by doing an anon to yourself about your own post to get others to hype you up and validate YOUR ethnicity is completely unhealthy especially in this way. THIS was vile. THIS was uncalled for and beyond einstein level comprehension skills. THIS is inappropriate and a sign you shouldn’t be on tumblr.

rashad has been involved in a lot of drama public and not and has a constant thing to blame it on his “episodes” and such. while i think that self diagnosing is valid because people, especially poc, can’t get proper mental care rn, to state it as a fact is something that self diagnosers do not do and acknowledge it isn’t right. even so, it is not valid to blame bad behavior on your mental health. and even if you did “take accountability,” in your so called apologies rashad, you go from saying you don’t use your mental health as an excuse but at the same time use it in that context for why you shouldn’t get hate and we should all stop criticizing you and your actions because it should all be forgivable in a way where we can just move on with no consequences.

yes, rashad does suffer from mental illnesses or some type/types of mental issues whether they are underlying or not but the problem is that the internet is literally his scapegoat from this and is feeding into his problems which is why he does the anons, the posts putting people on blast, etc. if you have not seen he has taken this drama from tumblr to discord to instagram. but it is clear he does not feel any microscopic ounce of guilt or genuine sorry in this specific situation. he says he’s “acting like the big person” but goes to attack people who tried to talk some sense into him in his petty onika miraj type posts sayin shit about shoving ice dildos into peoples puss puss and sneak dissin mfs who have a right to see what he’s doing when he is continuing to be petty in the heat of this whole thing by talkin abt people.

he’s struggling with so much and the internet is not for him and it shows in the way he handles confrontation, parasocial relations w people online, and how he copes with his issues by running to tumblr or any other social media. he has stated before he is an ex manipulator and so on and a place like this is not where he needs to be. so do not feed into the anons he sends, do not feed into the petty and compulsive posts he puts together, and just don’t interact with him. he needs to find his own inner peace on some preacher to the church type shit like this a tyler perry movie and not effect those around him with his own internal mess.

so don’t take this as me trying to like ride off this situation or just me saying these things just because all my moots or in it and i wanna be involved on some nosy bitch shit. but something like this is very serious and i was gonna be quiet on my suspicion but something as disgusting as this being said to me and not put on some blast by my classy ass just didn’t feel right. do not go to his page like he his “gone” just take this in a way to educate yourself on the typa person he is and as an example of why you shouldn’t get emotionally attacked to the internet or get involved with people like this.

pay attention to how ppl act and the red flags so you can just cut them off and save y’all both the “i survived” trauma. again, this isn’t confirmed (the racism post) because i have no way to prove it but he has a history of it and i just wanted to come out with this because it made me uncomfortable and disgusted.

NOT EVERYTHING IS FOR THE INTERNET !

[izzyspussy]

54 sentences added to take away the glass:

[NON-GRAPHIC DISCUSSION OF PAST SEXUAL ABUSE]

"Or, if it was me with Keeley. And Keeley felt like that sometimes, 'cause of something I was doing to her, only she didn't never tell me so I just kept doing it and making her feel like that… Rather wouldn't have sex with her at all, honestly. So I gotta know so I can be able to tell her. Or, you know. Whoever. 'Cause they wouldn't want to do it." Dr. Sharon smiles slightly. She takes a moment to stare at Jamie with a gentle sort of amusement that Jamie gets from Keeley and his mum all the time and used to get from Ted too, sometimes. Then she gives Jamie a slightly more pointed look and points out, "And you said you and she haven't been having much sex since that talk?" "Yeah," Jamie confirms. She stares at him some more, waiting for him to figure something out. He stares back, waiting for the same thing. "...Oh. Well," Jamie throws up his hands, "how am I supposed to ever figure it out then?" "Do you really need to?" Dr. Sharon asks. Jamie glares and opens his mouth, irritated to have to repeat himself which she usually doesn't make him do. But she shakes her head slightly to let him know she's not quite done asking. "Are you interested in having sex with other people?" "No," Jamie says, and then immediately feels like a liar for some reason. "Rather, are you interested in having more one night stands or other casual, short-term affairs," Dr. Sharon clarifies, apparently seeing something conflicted in Jamie's face. Right good at her job, Dr. Sharon is. "No," Jamie says, and that feels much better. "In that case, does it not seem redundant to go out of your way to find out what your sex-related triggers are with Ms. Jones when presumably the only person you need to be prepared to have informed discussions of the topic with is Ms. Jones herself?" She pauses there to let Jamie parse through her point. He supposes she's kind of right. There wouldn't really be any difference between finding something Jamie doesn't like on purpose and talking about how not to do it again versus finding it by accident and having the same talk. Still… Something rubs Jamie the wrong way. "I should know," he repeats, helpless and grouchy. Dr. Sharon makes another considering noise. "Are you concerned that Ms. Jones wants to end her sexual relationship with you?" she asks. "No," Jamie answers, and it's surprisingly easy. Their first go around he wasn't worried about it then either, but out of hubris. Then for a while he was a bit worried she wouldn't want to even be his friend, and then when they started up again this time he figured for a while he might just be a rebound to her. But he's confident now, more confident than he'd even realized. They have a real grown-up relationship now, one like what Mummy and Simon have. It's mental. In a good way. "Then I don't see any practical reason for you to actively seek out this information." She pauses, tilts her head in that way that means she wants him to try some eye contact with her, to really hear her and take her seriously. "Jamie. You don't have to be ready to have sex with anyone who might be interested." "Yeah, I know that," Jamie mutters petulantly. "I know what consent is." "Of course I'd trust you to know that about yourself better than I do," Dr. Sharon agrees easily, sitting back again. "But sometimes it's helpful to hear these things said out loud, especially by an uninvolved party. And I think it's relevant here to point out that you're allowed not only to say no, but also to be unable to say yes." Jamie doesn't ask what the difference is, even though he kind of wants to just to be difficult. He's pretty sure he gets it. He's also pretty sure it's not gonna sink in properly in just this visit. Still, he's here for a reason, and it can't hurt. "...say it again?" Dr. Sharon smiles. "You don't have to have sex with anyone, Jamie."

tatg is now currently 46k words long Sign up here to be tagged when I post this or other Ted Lasso fic.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

How do you think a genderbent Savanaclaw would be like? Cuz, personally, I dont think Ruggie and Jack's respective personality and backstory would be changed but given Sunset Savannah's more gender equal society, it begs the question on how Leona wouldve been treated if he were a girl. Would he still have been feared and looked down upon? Would he have been more respected? Would there be different expectations on Leona?

***JUST A QUICK THING:*** I go off on a tangent about some feminist and egalitarian points in this post; I wasn't sure if I should tag them as content warnings or not (since I don't think those topics are too contentious?), but I wanted to at least slap this little message on here for those who may prefer to not read too deeply into that.

In the case of sexual dimorphism in wolves, male ones are larger and more aggressive (some sources I looked at also said males’ fur is fluffier). For hyenas, it is the females who larger and more aggressive than the males. As for lions, the males are larger and stronger (+ they have manes), but it is usually the lionesses that do most of the hunting. (Note that in Twisted Wonderland, lionesses are said to be stronger than lions.)

If those traits were to be carried over to fem!Jack and Ruggie, well 🤔 it’d probably have an impact in how they present themselves and in some behaviors, although I don’t think to such an extent that they come off as totally different characters. I don’t get the sense that these changes in personality and/or minor physical traits would alter their backstories in any significant way either 🤷‍♀️ This is honestly true of most genderbent characters; unless there’s some inherent part of their past, identity, or other lore tied to the concept of their gender, then it doesn’t largely impact the story, their background, or their character. (For example, Epel struggles with having his views of traditional masculinity and femininity challenged by Vil; Epel also has insecurities associated with how naturally feminine he looks despite wanting to be seen as “manly”. How would these issues be perceived and addressed differently if it were fem!Epel wanting to be masculine, given that society more readily accepts a girl wanting to be a tomboy over a guy that presents as feminine?)

I don’t know if I’d call the Afterglow Savanna necessarily more “gender equal” just based on the one bit of lore about how most warriors (especially the high-ranking ones) are women. I guess it’s more “gender equal” if we compared it to some societies in the real world, but different societies differ in their values; there is no set monolith for comparison.

Another thing to think about is that we don’t actually have a lot of information about what it's like to be a woman in that the Afterglow Savanna. We know that women are respected, but I don't know if that's really an indicator of anything since ‘respecting’ is a vague term. It doesn’t automatically mean that women are put on pedestals or that they are treated the same as men. (Consider that we don't know about how women are perceived in other placed in Twisted Wonderland to use as a means for comparison. To say the Afterglow Savanna is "more" gender equal means there is something else that sets the baseline and is being compared to; in this case, we don't have that baseline.) On top of that, we only know a little about a single specific sector (military/the royal guard), which probably makes up only a fraction of the total women in the Afterglow Savanna; we don’t know if women are actually given equal opportunities on a larger scale or how that compares to those of men. (Like… what about women in STEM, art, etc??) It’s premature to suggest their entire society seems more gender equal based on just one area of specialty. Something else I have to wonder is this: if the women of the Afterglow Savanna are mostly expected to be "strong" warrior types, is that truly "equal" if it's basically no different than shoehorning them into any other position in life (for example, stay-at home spouses, or expecting men to also be a certain way)? There tends to be this belief that if women are in a traditionally male dominated role (ie warriors/soldiers), then that's empowerment. That's true to some extent, but that pigeonholes female empowerment into one "type" and leads to looking down on others that don't fit that mold (ie traditionally feminine women). In truth, true female empowerment is when women are free to choose to do whatever they want without repercussions or judgment, whether that means being traditionally feminine, traditionally masculine, or anything inbetween. I can kind of see why you’d come to the conclusion that you did, but 💦 I hesitate to agree with the phrasing. There isn’t a lot of evidence for the Afterglow Savanna being more egalitarian than other societies in the TWST world (or in the real world, for that matter).

fbjswbksksow Okay, back to the topic at hand! While Leona doesn’t have a large struggle that ties in with his gender, there is lore surrounding gender which may have had an impact on his (er, her?) childhood. In Leona’s post-OB flashback, we see a bunch of servants gossiping about Leona’s incredible power and being terrified of him because of it. Because females typically make up the warriors for the Afterglow Savanna and are admired for their strength, it’s possible that fem!Leona wouldn’t have received the same harsh criticisms that OG!Leona did?? As a woman, her powers would be admired as being a trait befitting a powerful and noble warrior. This, however, creates a dilemma and a contradiction for the main story—“How is fem!Leona supposed to be angsty and OB if they don’t get the same kind of childhood trauma as male Leona did?”

First of all, I’m going to avoid the “high expectations are put on Leona to take over the Lion Guard, so she gets stressed out” route because it doesn’t carry the same energy as the original. It gives way too much “hope” for the future when the OG idea is that Leona has none and keeps being beaten down no matter how hard he tries. Here are some alternate proposals for fixes (though, admittedly, none of them are perfect and they’re just ideas I came up with off the top of my head):

Make the servants dislike and fear Leona anyway regardless of gender. chajwjksksdo This is the laziest option in terms of rewrites (and ignores parts of canon lore), but I figured I’d slap it on here anyway 🤡

Make the situation progressive. Maybe everyone praised Leona at first, but then they grew to be fearful of her as she grew up (and her powers along with her). This option lacks the childhood trauma being concentrated in the past and is more of a slow burn. The issue with this one is that I don’t know if Leona’s bitterness would be as intense if the servants were so slow in the development of their apprehension.

[rathologic]

hi there, you run a great blog!! i was wondering if you have any advice or suggestions on how to responsibly/respectfully get into patho and patho2? as in, do you think there are any things a new fan should keep in mind while playing (i.e. with the grooming allegations, i have also seen racism and misogyny mentioned)

honestly i'm not entirely sure what i'm asking for help with here, but maybe just resources that further discuss the shitty views/opinions/actions of dyb that taint aspects of the game? thank you so much

hey! it really is going to depend on your personal tolerance for these aspects. racism is a major in-world topic discussed by the games, but also thoroughly present within the storytelling the franchise presents, so there's a fair amount of nuance; the elements of misogyny and pedophilia are just visible throughout. if you're at least passingly familiar with such topics, you'll be able to recognize and think critically about their presence as you get into the games (if you decide to at all)

baseline recommendation is always "don't pay for pathologic 2". Ice-Pick Lodge is not financially struggling, 2's racist and misogynistic elements are more pervasive and widespread than the first game's, and the mainstream praise it receives (unduly) goes straight to dyb's reputation as a writer. honestly I would not recommend paying for patho1 either but it usually sells for $1, so if that's justifiable to you... in no particular order here's some things to have in mind:

"tl;dr just respect the kin" is a Google doc outlining some ways that anti-Indigenous beliefs show up in the fanbase, and touches slightly on racist aspects of the games, like the p1 butcher models

look through the patho1 character ages, and keep the large age gaps in all of the m/f relationships in mind (patho2 just doesn't have canon ages)

this patho1 mod gets rid of a pedophilic dialogue exchange, and removes dybowski's face from the player screen; highly recommend that desktop users install it

my #p2crit tag is mostly very informal complaints about the writing and mechanics of pathologic 2, but there are a few decent critical points in it (though also many game spoilers, so don't look through this first!)

one of those points is that the herb bride (and Eva's) model textures in p2 include their genitals, as like. a baseline for how the game regards women

also new fans should Really be aware that rubin was being adopted into the burakh family in patho1. a lot of people, willfully or unknowingly, post pseudo-incest of him with the haruspex; it's a gray area in p2, but foul with the original designs

and some resources re: dybowski:

turaform's regarding nikolay dybowski is a video summarizing the grooming allegations, and describing the events by which they became known to the western fanbase- it was made in april 2021 soon after the news became widespread, but to my knowledge remains the most thorough explanation

this post links to the document of tweets referenced (the version with identifying information removed)

this post cites part of an interview with dybowski (at ~32:00 in the video), about how attractive he finds a young-looking naked girl model from the making of The Void, IPL's game about naked girls

in the society of dead poets is another interview not directly related, but I think it's worthwhile background that dyb's great-grandfather married his great-grandmother, a chinese woman, when he was >60 and she was 20 (page 57)

from all that you'll see patterns in the franchise, especially a tendency towards "beautiful woman gets killed young" (the Feverish Feeling ARG, in between games, is also fundamentally this), and be able to make your own judgements about its treatment of the Kin. maybe it just won't be acceptable to you! a lot of people have left the fanbase from discomfort or frustration, and that's completely understandable. I only hold that it's more valuable for people who are comfortable engaging at all to discuss and circulate discussion of patho's harmful aspects than to let them be only praised as profound & perfect narratives in the public eye :~)