#will i be happy when i reach my gw

[dainty-fair]

from this morning.

i weighed 53,9kg which is amazing since i’ve been stuck at 55kg for forever (i was 51 at my lowest but then i binged myself into 57 🥲). i feel im getting back on track finally

also please dont mind my dirty mirror and room. i have no energy for anything besides work.

[tragicbackstoryyy]

About Me

Hi, my name is Leila.

I'm 15 years old, in high school grade 10.

I've been struggling with my weight for my whole life and I just want to change and finally be happy with myself. I was always known as the fat kid, the kid bigger than everyone else and I grew up very isolated because of it. When I reached middle school I became more self aware of what I wanted so I decided to lose weight. In grade 8, I lost a ton of weight by eating less than 500 calories a day, and I really want to reach that high again. Unfortunately during the summer and grade 9 I just binged on a lot of sweets, hoarding wrappers in my room. By the time it was too late, I realised I had gained all the weight I lost plus more weight back. So now I am trying to amend my mistakes and bring back that euphoria I had felt in grade 8.

My Stats:

Hw: 81.5 kg Cw: 75.4 kg Current Gw: 69 kg Ugw: 45 kg Current BMI: 27.2 Height: 5'5.5

Please block don't report

[m0urn1nglamb]

OFFICIALLY UNDERWEIGHT HOLY FUCK !!!! AND I LOST 10 LBS OFFICIALLY THIS MORNING AND I REACHED IT BY JUST ONE MONTH ???? AND I KNOW ILL LOSE A POUND BY THE END OF OCTOBER SO I KNOW I LOST MORE THAN 10 LBS AND HIT MY GW WITHIN JUST ONE MONTH 😭🙏

sw: 132 ish (oct 1st)

cw: 121.6 (oct 27th, today)

cw: 113.6 (jan 26th)

gw1: 125 🐚

gw2: 120 🐚

gw3: 118 (important for me, lw) 🐚

gw4: 115 🐚

gw5: 110

gw6: 105, maybe will go for 100

I used the cal calculator on losertown.com to calculate how much working out and daily cals I should have to see when i'd lose a certain amount of weight and based on my usual plan (300-700 cals daily) I should be 115 by November 10th , and about 110 by November 22-23rd. Since I lost 10 lbs this month i'm very confident I can lose another 10 in November, just in time to lose the last few pounds to by my ugw in december around christmas :-) so happy and proud of myself .

[anasdaughterrr]

i’ve been on this new account for a bit so here’s my motivation for reaching my gw:

•skinny thighs that look good in any sort of skirt or pants and that don’t rub together and chafe in the summertime

•feeling cleaner

•having people notice the change

•have people treat me nicer

•more attention from friends and family

•instead of my relatives commenting on how much i’m eating, they will comment on how skinny i’m looking

•i won’t ever be afraid to meet someone new in fear that their fist impression of me is that i’m fat. Instead, they’ll think “wow this girl is super pretty AND funny?”

•being the tiny friend for once in my life

•being able to finally fit the aesthetic that I want

•being able to finally take cute instagram pics

•less scared to post on social media

•i perform in musical theater, so i won’t have to worry about costumes looking bad on me

•no matter what angle someone takes a pic of me, it’ll look good

•applying my makeup will be easier because i won’t feel like i’m putting lipstick on a pig

•i will be more confident and therefore more sociable and happy (i know this from previous weight loss experience)

• dress shopping for formal events will actually be fun and not humiliating

•if the subject of weight ever comes up, i don’t have to be afraid of saying my weight out loud because i’ll be proud of it

•revenge on all the girls that called me fat

•less area to shave, apply lotion on, apply sunscreen on, and less area to wash.

•i overall won’t feel like a giant and like i’m taking up so much space whether it’s on chairs, couches, in a cramped room, etc. (i’m really tall and being tall and fat is like the worst combo because i just feel like an ogre)

• opening tumblr and not feeling guilty but instead feeling accomplished

•old teachers/ students from school looking at me and going “omg i didn’t even recognize you!” (i have had this happen before and it’s the best feeling in the world)

•sitting on my bf’s lap without feeling like i’m crushing him (as much as he claims he likes it i don’t like feeling fat)

•i’m getting older and when i get married i want my husband to be able to bridal carry me

•^^ also wedding dress NEEDS to look good on me or the wedding is cancelled

•i honestly grew up fat (before i lost a ton of weight and then gained it all back 🙄) and i really don’t want to spend the rest of my life chubby or midsized or fat. I just wanna enjoy the slim life.

•i’m very very focused on my looks and I really like when I look good.

•I want a slim face with the sunken-in look and hood cheekbones

•basically any clothes would be oversized

•most of my social anxiety would go away because I wouldn’t be focused on people thinking i’m fat

• i could share clothes with my sister (she’s super tall and skinny and has adorable clothes)

•impress my boyfriend’s family and HIS relatives (best feeling)

• i know this might sound odd but when i lost weight the first time my feet?? got smaller??? and so did my nose???? and my boobs??? all things that i would love to shrink.

•no more flabby arms that I have to hide under a cardigan or sweatshirt

•I was really athletic when i lost a bunch of weight the first time???? and i never worked out for it or did it in a healthy way so idk why i was all of a sudden super athletic but I was

•i always dreamed of being an ice skater and they’re so weightless and thin and beautiful

•halloween costumes could be so much better on my thin body instead of finding one that covers up the most fat

•prom dress looks good (i’m graduated by my bf is a senior this year and he’s taking me to prom)

• i was just more likable when i was skinny. Idk how to describe it

•believe it or not, people talk about you more when you lose weight. I was a total nobody in high school until i lost weight and then people who i didn’t even know we’re like talking about me in good ways and saying good things about me

•more friends. I know that friendship is mostly about the personality, but there are so many bitchy skinny girls with like 100 friends that all go out and do stuff together and even if they’re fake friends they’re better than no friends 🥲

• christmas and winter season in general

•imagine wearing an oversized outfit in the summer time and then whipping out the absolute perfect bikini body? goals.

that’s all for now, but i’m sure i’ll think of some more!

[bubblelotusbitch]

It's so weird as a nearly 30 year old, to see all of these E3 posts about living with parents or looking good in school.

I wasted my ENTIRE youth hating myself. I was making those posts 15 years ago. And I'm still here. Still mourning the loss of experiences and happiness.

Please get out. Just go. There's no happiness for you here. There's no happy ending where you reach your gw. Sure, when you're young they'll worry about you. But you know what happens when you grow up?

NO.ONE.GIVES.A.SHIT.

No one will faun over you, no one will take care of you or take away your responsibilities because you're too sick/too tired/too weak to do it.

JUST PLEASE. Please. Please live your youth. Because you will never get it back. Once it's gone, it's gone. And I look back everyday with regret, but mostly sadness.

My young self deserved better than that. You deserve better than having memories of when you COULD have been happy.

[st4rvdrien]

ik this prob wont be true bc ana but when i reach my gw ill be the most happy person on earth

[throwup-yourguts]

I love the feeling of my empty stomach

When I stand up and went up the stairs I felt a bit dizzy

It's good, it means it's working

I'm so happy something is finally working for my whale body

I'll reach my gw it'll happen

[iamamikcals]

Hey y'aallll. It's been a while since I posted here. I've tried to get back on track multiple times but it always ended up with a binge. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I almost gave up because living with my mom who is cooking all the time is making it nearly impossible but I just can't. I wanna feel my stomach hurting from starving again. I wanna feel like I'm dying again. I wanna feel like every step I'm making is a whole torture again. I wanna feel light and petite again. I miss these feelings so fucking much I feel like I can't live without them... Back when I finally reached my 1st gw (55kg) I was so fucking happy and relieved, I was feeling like life finally had a sense again. Ana gave me everything but I fcked up so badly. She is so mad at me now, she is constantly yelling in my head that it is my fault and that I don't deserve to eat. I HAVE to make her proud again. NO MATTER WHAT. I WANNA FEEL VALID. I HAVE TO GET BACK ON TRACK RN OR I'LL KMS. IF I CAN'T BE SKINNY TO BONES THEN I DON'T SEE THE PURPOSE IN LIVING ANYMORE. I have to work on my discipline and learn how to let me d!e of hunger again.... Omg I miss it so bad 😔😭.

Btw, it's official... I'm gonna start cutt!ng myself again as a punishment (and also other sort of sh) :3 ngl I miss it 😔 aaaaand I'll also learn how to p!rge but I'll only do it when I binge cause I can't do this anymoooooore. I know that it is very dangerous but I'll be careful with it cause I don't wanna d!e y'all I just wanna be skinnyyyy 🎀

So yeaaaah i'm doing a fast 'till Monday and then i'll start my diet, here it is (not mine btw) :

Please if you do diet plans dm me and send them to me I love them so much

Thank yewwww 😔🩷🩷

Fast :

I'll update my weight when I finish this diet cause I don't wanna know how much I gained I'm in total denial 💀🙏🏾

Bye bye btches, wish me luck 😚🎀

[lostyouth05]

Binge free January, binge free 2024

so let's say the last month's weren't that good. Since September I binged. Often. And even today,but let me tell you that this was my last binge. Tomorrow is a new year a new chance. Everything started back in 2019 with a new year's goal. And now I'm staring at the same time with the same goal. Just that I'm now deep in the ed,I know what to do and the way I have to go isn't nearly that long than 2019. So I can do that . I'm motivated. Tomorrow I start a 7 day diet which I created,I do it together with a girl I met here. After this I wanna fast 1 to 3 days and than start my new 10 day diet. If anyone wants to join my on the 10 day diet,dm me.

All I wanted to say is that even with all the mistakes of the last month's, I can do it now. When is a better time to start then at a monday,a new week,and even a new year at the same time ? I have to reach my gw I have to get back to my old habits. Whish me luck.

I wish you all the best 2024 you can have and that you become happy. Stay safe and happy new year 🤎

[lolwhatamidoinghere12]

A long vent ^^ TW ED

So, this feels weird since this is my first time posting on tumblr but im keira and im japanese american, 12 years old and yeah ig.

Ive been on ana tumblr since i turned 11 and now i just turned 12 like last month and developed an ed after being on here too much, after school everyday i would (still do) scroll through tumblr and motivate myself to stop eating and lose weight, i was 103 pounds and now im 68 pounds , the reason i wanted to lose weight was because i just want to fit in with beauty standards. my mom has been in Japan many more times then me and she always said and sometimes still says that the other kids arent as overweight as i am and being skinny is just a huge beauty standard evrywhere so i just made taht my priority i guess?i just want my momm to love me but im glad because i wouldnt be as happy as i am with my weight then i am right now..

im nervous and trying to reach my gw which is around 25kg/55lbs bevause i am going to visit relatives in osaka japan and i NEED to get SKINNIER!1! i dont want to be a obese pig in front of everyone. but i have to work on my japanese, so thats a distraction form eating

ive beeen happy bc i can really see my ribs and collarbone alot! also my thigh gap is hugee like when i sit my thighs cant even touch!1!1!! i can wrap my hands around my thighs and my fingers around my wrist and have lots of empty space left

its like my world is revolving around me being skinny but its worht it all

i have noticed that im stunning my growth a lot :(((((

i wanna be taller and have longer legs which is another beauty standard but ive been 4'11 for the longest time--

i cant focus and the migraines really hurt a lot!!!1!! (tips?)

also i just have zero appetite anymore i dont binge anymore i just have been busy with school and things!1!!!!!1!

i hate how weak i am sometimes and how tired i get but it makes me happy somtimes? its like a reminder! idk i guess ill just update sometime!!

[the-type-a]

Rock Band AU

Courtney is the main vocalist & occasionally plays the guitar, Duncan is the lead guitarist, Gwen on drums & idk who else could be involved bcuz this is just an idea I’ve been throwing around in my head

-Duncney were together before the band was formed and stayed together till they reached stardom BUT they eventually break up due to many reasons (omg) and they decide to stay “cordial” for the band(which took a lot of convincing from the other members)

-Duncan wanted to live the “true rockstar lifestyle” and in his mind he couldn’t do that in a relationship because he’s dumb

-Courtney of course lets the fame get to her and becomes a bit controlling of the band

-Courtney writing diss songs about Duncan while he just has to stfu and perform them with her(tensions rise)

-all the members partake in substance abuse because well, it’s a rock band au and it adds to the drama lmao so Duncan livin’ like a rock star, Courtney does it to deal with the stress but will deny it profusely, and the other members need it just to deal with both of them and their drama

-so Duncan’s an asshole and the substances don’t help but just imagine.. Courtney in the green room fighting GROUPIES out of jealousy, oh the press has a field day because of “inside sources” leaking pics and vids 👀

-Of course any time there’s negative media about Courtney, Duncan goes wild on twitter(unless he’s mad at her) and his PR Team has to take his phone away.. he very much fights his own fans lol

-ofc there’s Gw*ncan shippers because drama & that adds even more tension between the members, Courtney’s insecure & gwen’s like “man I just wanna play the drums STOP”

-Ok but like also Courtney’s sick of seeing girls leave Duncan’s trailer so she gets her first groupie OR maybe she hooks up with a band member from a band their touring with and Duncan finds out? Oh boy.

-ok but on-stage drama?? Duncney just glaring at eachother while performing and Duncan smashes his guitar or Courtney gets all in his face, belting out lyrics dissing him specifically

-DRUNKney in either ones trailers after a show, both just crying about how much they love and can’t live without each other but the next day they act like nothing happened because they’re both stupid messes

-Ok but imagine the mess at awards shows, Courtney being the only sober one while her band mates act a fool?? Red carpet drama?? Blowing up at the paparazzi for invasive questions?? Oml

-Duncan is very much toxic in this and despite him living the rockstar life, he hates seeing Courtney do the same, Gwen will always call him out on it and he plays dumb like BOI

-Ok but awe imagine Duncan writing love songs for Courtney in the beginning and vice versa, a few of them are their most popular songs so they HAVE to perform them, ouch. There’s definitely compilations of their performances where they look at each other with heartbreak and longing(also compilations of their on-stage drama lmao)

-Ok but Courtney’s main look is Bell bottoms, chunky heeled boots & a Bustier(very much inspired by Selena thnx) but she didn’t start this look until she became single which had Duncan punching the air

-Ok but Tour Bus drama?? All of them in a cramped space, the boys are messy, the girls have too much stuff, they can’t get away from each other when fighting because they’re all stuck in the same small vicinity lol

-ok but the bands sound is constantly changing but stays within the rock genre because of all their different aesthetics which makes them so popular because they bring in fans that have different tastes✨ There’s definitely an insane amount of arguing whenever writing/producing a new album lmao

There’s eventually a happy ending or something Idk I just need a trashy, drama filled fic full of rockstar aesthetic and good tunes✨ but add more if you’d like & who could the other members be?? Omg

Omfg I love these so much! Definitely need a Rock Band AU!!

I immediately thought of this fanart from way back when.

Color by daanton and lineart by TDI-Exile on DA

I know Bridgette’s on the drums in it but like either way it’s a vibe.

The tension this band has to endure from Duncney is unreal. I can imagine everyone needing couching for whenever they do interviews because if not?? They would spill so much tea!

This might be a hot take but like, Geoff being the tour manager? He’d 100% know how to get good business for them. All the clubs, bars, stadiums?

Omfg DJ as their head of security? Bodyguard DJ!!! Everyone sees him and just knows not to try some stupid shit. He’s rock solid and will shut shut down when it comes to protecting the band.

Idk about anything else lol you pretty much nailed it with this one ❤️‍🔥

[lablakelystress]

Vent no.13 (Update really)

So my parents want me to be at 115lbs ,which I despise obviously, but it’s not just that because they are doing everything in their power in order to get me there right when I was starting to reach my gw. It’s so infuriating and I wish I could do something about it. I try to exercise but they are aware that I do this so they keep their eyes on me to make sure I don’t. I am trying to not pvrge anymore because everyone says it’s bad for you and when I try to purge I never get any food out, it’s mostly just water…

I don’t know what to do at this point because my dad has gotten to the point where he’s literally taking me out of school during my lunch period to give me food and watch me eat. I’m think I’ll just quickly gain 5lbs because I’m at 110 right now (terrible I know and I hate the thought of doing this) but hopefully he will get off of my back about weight for a bit so that I can start to go down again in time for the end of the year. Plus, he also said that once I got to 115, he would personally drive me to a homeless shelter so that I could see if it is something that I want to commit to. Is this a crazy idea, yes but drastic times call for drastic measures.It’s gonna be very hard, but it’s the only thing I can think of because if I stay trying to kind of lose weight and exercising (which doesn’t do much for me) then my parents are going to increase my c@l0ries which will only lead to me staying stagnant in my weight and in us both losing and being unhappy. Idk, I could be wrong but it’s likely for the best.

Sorry to go in detail about my plan that no one besides me cares about, but hey, venting… anyways, please don’t end up like me, I wish you all good luck on your journeys especially those who are in a similar situation with loved ones who want them to recover, but regardless, have a very happy b1nge-free (or whatever your goals are this month) May! ☀️💐

[moon3unny]

tw ed content

please just block dont report

●∘◦❀◦∘●

changes Ive experienced loosing just 4kg:

58kg ➨ ➨ ➨ 54kg (was 45kg in 2019)

skirts and pants fit looser and arent tight anymore

tops arent tight on the upper arm as much anymore

collar bone has made a return and are starting to show more

my thigh gap is slowly coming back

hands look more dainty although Ive always been blessed with thin looking hands and wrists (thank fuck)

no longer "feel fat" when walking around a grocery store ( I dont fatshame ever!! all I care ab is my own weight !! )

I dont feel pretentious when buying "diet" and "skinny" food anymore like salad stuff, natural yoghurt fruit bars or stuff that doesnt seem like junk food. I always felt like ppl were judging me like I was pretending to be skinny (I know 4kg isnt a huge change but this is mostly internal I know they probably werent judging me at all lol)

I think honestly from 60kg to 50kg is a tipping point for me to look thinner so now if I just get to my gw and maintain Ill be so happy

I just need to put my mind to it

*pointing at myself in the mirror* u can have high cal days just not every single fucking day. spread it out idiot. (once I reach my gw that is lol until then ill just have metabolism days)

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[baeki-luvr]

hello!! trying to recover was the WORST decision ever 😭 im using this to share my wl journey (im a new user be nice please 😭)!! i dont think im 4nor3x1c cuz i weigh a lot...

height: 160cm

sw: 56kg

gw: 48kg

ugw: 42-44kg

im not sure what i would look like with these weights, if im happy with my body at 48kg then ill stop but if i wanna be skinnier ill go down (thats also why i put a range for my ugw). ill be so sad if 48kg doesnt look good on me.. its such a pretty number

ive been feeling especially f4t these days (ive always felt this way but it really hit rn yk..) so i cant wait to lose weight!! ive been trying to eat under 900 cals everyday (its a but less than that but idk the exact number).. imo uts kinda a lot but u gotta start from somewhere yk 😭. i also wanna exercise and maybe purge when im home alone and i have time. also, my body looks so much worse on camera and i take pics of my body a lot (not posting cuz im literally so f4t its shameful) so thats also encouraging me to lose weight so i look better in pics as well!!

anywaysss i hope this reaches the right people!!

[sweetmemories2606]

GW 2022-Day 5: Unwavering (Story)

I was in the mood for some poetry so came up with this amusing and endearing idea. Imagine if Gray had actually written something for her, Juvia would die from happiness. 😂

Happy New Year everyone! May 2023 be the most inspiring and exciting year yet! 💙

Title: Our Whole Lives

Summary: Prompted by Erza, Gray decided to write a collection of poetry as his answer to Juvia. Though there was no doubt in anyone’s mind about how he felt, he still didn’t believe he deserved to love and be loved by her. (Post-Alvarez) (includes minor GrayLu and GaJuvia Brotp) 

Timeline: Alvarez Arc

Word Count: 2200

Link: Fanfiction.Net

Sneak Peek 1:

Gajeel sat at his usual table with Levy and Juvia. The three of them were chatting about the couple's latest mission when she spotted Gray approaching them.

A smile immediately lit up Juvia's face and she waved at the ice mage, who also smiled, though rather nervously.

Gajeel rolled his eyes. "What does he want?"

"Be nice." Levy warned.

Juvia stood just before Gray had reached the table. "Morning, darling. How did you sleep?"

"I slept alright, thanks."

Gajeel noticed he was holding something. An envelope. He wondered what that might be.

Juvia beamed. "Isn't it a lovely morning today?"

"Sure." There was no denying the ice mage's anxiousness. Gajeel didn't like that one bit. Narrowing his eyes, he inquired; "Is there a reason you're at the guild so early?"

"You're not usually up yet at this hour." Levy remarked.

"Well, I've been waking up a lot earlier recently." Gray told them, and the way he glanced softly at Juvia, who smiled knowingly, left no doubt in Gajeel's mind of the reason why.

"I see." Levy grinned.

"Hey, do you think I could speak to you?" The ice mage took Juvia's hand.

"About what?" Gajeel inquired, but was ignored.

"Of course." She nodded and let him take her away from the table, towards the entrance to the guild hall.

Before they were too far, Gajeel warned. "You better not disappoint me, Fullbuster."

Gray stopped and looked at him, his expression showing a strong resolve. "I won't."

Sneak Peek 2:

Juvia let him guide her outside the guild, towards the river. Once they stood by its edge, Gray nervously scratched his throat.

"So, I have something for you."

Her eyes were drawn to his free hand where he held an envelope. Curiosity bubbled inside her. "What is it?"

"Do you remember when we spoke before the war?"

"Of course." Heart racing, Juvia started to piece together where this was going. Could this be the moment she had always dreamed of?

"I promised you that I would give my answer once the war was over." Gray remarked, squeezing her hand as he gazed at her determinedly.

"Yes, but there is no rush." Juvia smiled gently.

"I've kept you waiting long enough." He gave her the envelope and Juvia let go of his hand to hold it. Something told her this was the most precious thing he had ever given her.

"Erza suggested I could write to you." Gray explained. "I know how much you enjoy reading, so I tried my best."

"Thank you." Juvia was at a loss on what to say. This was so unexpected; nothing like she had imagined. She felt overwhelmed but also ecstatic knowing what awaited inside the envelope.

"Well, I'll let you be." With one last nervous look, Gray left her. Her gaze followed him as he disappeared inside the guild. Then, once he was gone, her attention returned to the envelope.

Juvia sat on the grass, opened it and took out the carefully folded piece of paper. She began to read, and as she carried on, her heart swelled with adoration and pride.

[doabg]

To think that I started this journey because my bf said I should just drink something (after I told him I was hungry). I looked online, searched for tips and now I am so happy I started.

Each day I keep losing weight. I have always had trouble losing weight. Always. I was always the fat friend, the undesirable one. The one you come to for advise and make fun of behind her back and exclude from events.

Finally I am in control. Finally I can see progress! For the first time EVER I feel like I am actually achieving something.

And the best part? By bf knows about this and won't intervene. I don't even have to pretend when I am with him. Sure he tells me I look good as is (I don't), but I am doing this for me. Because I am CONVINCED he will love me more when I am skinny. He would finally be able to lift me without damaging his back. He could finally tell everyone what a great girlfriend he has.

I am finally on a path where I feel like I can stay. I am not very sociable and if it weren't for my upcoming birthday I wouldn't even have to worry about going out for dinner. I am saving money which I can put towards a nice dress I can buy myself once I reach my gw <3

I don't know why I enjoy obsessing about food. I have struggled so, so, so much with enjoying food and gaining weight. I used to eat my troubles away. Now? I am in control AND losing weight.

This is me. It is home. I am feeling strong, nothing shall break me again. I'm in control. I won't be the fat one forever