#women and non men

[dead-lavender-society]

it's all "women and non-men" until there is a woman or non-man who looks like a man. suddenly it's not about gender identity anymore

[shutinthenutouse]

[raqualswonderfunblog]

[genderqueerdykes]

feminine afab non binary people and masculine amab non binary people are still non binary, and thus, trans. it's not okay to excuse slipping up using an afab non binary person's pronouns just because they "look cis" to you. they are not cis. they are desperately trying to get you to understand that gender is not as black and white as it seems. they are existing in a real niche of real people that struggle to be seen as who they are and contributing to that helps no one.

i see you, fem afab enbies and masc amab enbies. you are still non binary. you are still trans. you still have a right to what pronouns and identity you use. you have a right to get upset when they call you a girl or a boy when you're not. people do not have the right to misgender you just because they don't understand the niche you fall into in life. you are justified in being upset when someone misgenders you because they refuse to see that gender is a broader spectrum than we give it credit for.

you are trans. you are non binary. the right people will see you for who you really are. don't give up telling people who you really are. stand your ground if you must. you are loved and seen for who you are even if it doesn't seem like it right now. don't give up.

[thehealingsystem]

It's so wild to me that as a community we're still so hostile to multigender and genderfluid people existing in gay and lesbian spaces.

You...are aware that people who are both men and women are allowed to be gay, right? And lesbian? Their other genders doesn't cancel their connection to womanhood, or manhood, or whatever else they id with. They are allowed to be gay despite their fem-alignment, and they are allowed to be lesbian despite their masc-alignment.

It comes from these weird online spaces that the standard to be gay or lesbian is to be a "non-woman" or a "non-man," which is inherently transmultiphobic and...extremely ahistorical. And completely misunderstands nonbinary identity. So if you're both then you just don't belong anywhere I suppose.

[bizarreaizen]

*trans girl getting misogynistic comments instead of transphobic ones*

trans girl: . . a win is a win.

trans guy: what-!?

non-binary person: girl no-

agender person: absolutely not.

trans girl: i don't care what y'all say, a win is a win. /lh

[badger-with-a-boa]

I...uh...think trans lesbians are cool...

[officesuppliez]

trans rights african forest buffalo I love you

[kimwexlers-brownhair]

[tardisinapokeball]

CANADIANS

Hello. I am speaking to you on behalf of trans and non-binary people across the United States, the UK, and beyond. Our political situation at home is more dire than ever. In the UK, they would rather cause a constitutional crisis than allow us to transition. In the US, there are calls by prominent political leaders to ban our very existence. Every day there are more attacks, both physical and political.

You can help us.

This is a petition (Canadians only, I'm afraid) to allow trans and non-binary people to seek asylum in Canada. It takes only a minute to sign, and if this passes, all our lives will be so much safer.

Thank you.

[shutinthenutouse]

[raqualswonderfunblog]

[genderqueerdykes]

as someone who has been scarred for life by experiences at gay bars, i need people to understand it's beyond tacky to mock people who want queer spaces beyond queer bars- it's dangerous.

let me explain. i went to 2 of my local queer bars a lot last year, as much as i was able to despite being poor. i witnessed a fist fight that was so bloody that ended up with a transmisogynistic drag queen getting hit in the head with a metal baton. the sight caused me to uncontrollably throw up in the bathroom of the club because of how gruesome it was. they had to close down the club and forard people out the back door because of how out of hand this person got- he was screaming transmisogynstic slurs and phrases at the bouncers were were transfem.

i was also sexually assaulted at these places, i was repeatedly groped by several people who i was not interacting with in the first place who found me attractive and decided physically grabbing me on numerous occasions was the way to get my attention. being femme in a queer bar is dangerous even if the people groping you are gay men.

i am also a recovering addict who dealt with alcohol issues in the past and could be considered a recovering alcoholic. i don't want to be around alcohol. i don't want to smell it. it triggers awful memories and also sometimes makes me consider getting a drink, but i can't have one, because the medications i take will cause a fatal reaction- i don't want to be tempted to drink, because it will kill me.

it's not right to mock someone or call them childish or whatever for not wanting to go to a club. whenever alcohol is involved, people's inhibitions are gone and they will do whatever. this includes fighting. i witnessed several other fights. just because it's a queer bar doesn't mean there won't be fights. and it especialyl doesn't m ean that you won't get groped or assaulted because, like i said, since alcohol is involved and it's a bar, there's a high chance this can and will happen.

queer people are not inherently safe angels to be around by virtue of being queer. there are still transphobes in queer bars. tranny chasers come to these bars. homophobic lesbians show up and lesbophobic gay men show up. drag queens and performers bring their cishet friends and family to support their shows. these are not perfect havens. they are not safe. we should not force other queers to interact with inherently dangerous spaces if these are supposed to be our safe spaces.

also these spaces are not friendly to people with disabilities; wheelchair users have nowhere to go especially when it's very crowded. other mobility aids get kicked and knocked over. neurodivergent people can get overstimulated by the deafening music very quickly. photosensitive people can have seizures due to the strobing lights. people with emetophobia like me run the risk of running into those types of triggers. people who are overstimulated by intoxicated people have no choice but to deal with it. dancing is one of the only activities to do other than drink and not many disabled (or even abled) people can dance for extended periods of time comfortably.

not to mention these spaces are not geared toward aromantic or asexual people at all, either. there is a long list of reasons why bars should not be our primary venues of interaction with one another. they serve a specific purpose- for people who want to cruise- but for the rest of us, it's really crucial that we have spaces that provide meaningful interactions with other queers on other levels of our identities.

some people just want to hang out with other queers in a quiet environment and craft, or shop, or drink coffee, or read books together, or just about any other activity on planet earth, and that's not "lame" or "cringy" or bad in any way- these are extremely normal and necessary parts of human interaction that we all require and crave and it's normal to want to do healthy, domestic things with other queers. we need this in our lives.

please take it seriously when people attempt to create queer spaces that don't involve alcohol and bars. it's necessary for our survival and well being as a community.

[junotter]

All the jokes about Ken and horses are good but I just wanna say it's such a good parallel to how actual young men get swept into misogyny and the patriarchy.

Like they're told to believe it means men get to be cool and manly and have this power but with that comes extremely rigid commands of what they can be as a man and a cycle of self hatred for never matching those gender roles perfectly. Patriarchy tells men that if they just do exactly what is expected of them, then they get all the "cool stuff" that comes with. That doesn't work though when there's only a small group that actually gets that power, but men will keep trying to fit into those roles in hopes that they can.

In the end there are no horses or the myth men are told, it's just endless cycles of self hatred and ingroup fighting.

[venomous-thoughts]

I'm so convinced the terms "non men"/"non women" and "masc aligned"/"fem aligned" did nothing but reinvent the binary gender system in a more progressive sounding way while pushing queer liberation back so much

[brainr0tcntrl]

I love women <3