#BABY FIGHTS

[fangshing]

The "bogscalespunchingbag" URL is actually kind of pertinent here because someone on the "defense team" sent me Station's discord username and its title (not the @, the name that shows up when you join a server) was "[mutual]'s punching bag". like. that's not a server nickname that was what it set for Every server........

[the-badger-mole]

So, a few days ago, I was sent an ask about if Katara and Zuko would fight, and if so about what (or something along those lines). My answer was that they would fight, but probably not that often. I stand by that. I truly don't think they would have many fights during their relationship, but I was thinking about big fights about big feelings. Now that I think about it, they would probably bicker about petty stuff pretty often and then make up within a few days. So, here is a short, non-exhaustive list of what I think are

Things Katara and Zuko Would Bicker About

1. Food sharing: Katara is a plate thief. If Zuko had something on his plate that she wanted to try, she would reach over and just take a bit. Her culture is a family table culture, meaning everyone shares. She doesn't even think to ask. Zuko finds this incredibly irritating because in his culture taking food from someone else's plate is extremely rude. Eventually, Zuko lets it go, a just starts putting extra food on his plate, and Katara learns to ask first. Most of the time, anyway.

2. Bed Time: Katara is a night owl, and Zuko is an early riser. At first, they try to go to bed at roughly the same time, but it's a lost cause. Katara has a hard time falling asleep, and ends up getting out of bed after an hour or so. Fine. They accept this difference. But Katara isn't as soft on her feet as Zuko, and Zuko is an insanely light sleeper. At least twice a week, Zuko is woken by Katara jumping into bed at some unholy hour. He wakes up very early, and doesn't like his sleep disturbed. Katara really does try her best to be quiet, and very often succeeds, but occasionally, she steps on a shoe or trips over a chair, and wakes Zuko. This boils over into a fight every few months or so, depending on what big event Zuko has upcoming.

3. Departure Times: This is kind of a spillover from the bed time argument. Katara has a hard time sticking to a schedule, and Zuko is military trained on keeping time. Zuko insists on being out of the door at a precise time that he calculated specifically in order to arrive at the exact time of any given event. Katara will start getting ready to leave about an hour before they are supposed to leave, and inevitably make them late by anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour. It drives Zuko insane.

4. Date Night: This one is kind of cute from the outside, but it is a genuine point of contention between them who gets to plan and pay for their evenings out. Zuko thinks it's a ridiculous argument. They're married and share finances anyway. Katara thinks the principle is at stake and if she wants to use her own money to treat Zuko, she should be allowed without argument. Eventually, Zuko concedes on this, too, but it pushes him to plan most of their dates because he really does like spoiling Katara. Meanwhile, Katara has taken it upon herself to give Zuko the experience of being considered and cared for that he didn't get in his childhood.

5. Showers: Showers are one of Zuko's few indulgences. He likes to stay in the shower for a ridiculously long time, and on enough occasions to make it an issue, he has left Katara no hot water for her shower. Zuko points out that as a firebender, he could always heat more water, but Katara argues that it would take longer for him to heat the water than she intended to spend in the shower, and would it kill him to leave her ten minutes worth of hot water. Zuko genuinely does try, but he gets lost in thought sometimes and he forgets to keep track of how long he's been in there.

6. Hoarding: Katara has a tendency to hoard things she thinks will be useful- empty jars; loose buttons; mismatched china; scraps of fabric; dull scissors. It's a trauma response to the scarcity of her youth in the SWT and later to keeping her group of friends alive as they traveled. Zuko understands it, but Katara fills their living space with stuff she is never going to get around to using, and sometimes Zuko gets overwhelmed by the clutter. They compromise by assigning a specific cupboard for Katara's collection of odds and ends. When it gets too full, Zuko helps Katara go through all the things she's collected and they get rid of all but the things she swears she's going to find a use for. She doesn't, but neither of them mention that during their semi-annual culling of Katara's Junk Closet.

7. Zuko's Inflexibility: Zuko isn't good with deviating from the plan. Beyond his need to be to his destination exactly on time, he likes to plan out everything he's doing in a day. Obviously this affects Katara, and when something happens that forces Zuko to change his plan, even a little bit, he gets agitated. He doesn't blow up too often anymore, like he did as a kid, but he does have a tendency to be snippy and snarky. On a few occasions, Katara has had to call him out for being condescending. As the years go on, Zuko learns to go with the flow more, especially in his retirement years, but this remains a sore point for the duration of their relationship.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

At first I was like: would Emmet think literal children are being cowards here in this situation at the warden/leader meeting? And then I remembered that in his time literal children are out there challenging people on the roadside to battles and wandering all over the countryside and taking down terrorist cells. So maybe his expectations are a teensy bit skewed without him fully knowing why haha.

tbf irida's also, kind of, a child here, though not AS young as lian (or sabi obviously) so if she was responsible enough to approve the kidnapping then other kids are probably responsible enough to dunk on her for it. also, lian's bff is a six foot tall mantis with axes for hands so it's not like he doesn't have Backup

[gallade-x-treme]

"BITCH-- 👊💢"

[mydairpercabeth]

Ares saying he hates his own kids and the worst day of the year is when they visit him makes my heart break for Clarisse more. Clarisse fights so hard for scraps of her father’s attention and Ares sees her as just another nuisance. He doesn’t care about her unless she’s able to serve him. But Clarisse (like Annabeth) thinks she just has to work harder for him to love her. In her mind, it’s all her fault. Which is why she is so angry when little punk Percy strolls in at twelve years old, no training and unclaimed, and immediately defeats the minotaur. In three days hes already got the gods attention and his father claimed him. Of course she’s angry.

[dlsreviews]

NEW REVIEW: Robert Essig - Baby Fights (2023)

With Christmas now done and dusted, why not treat yourself some crazy-ass bizzarro-style extreme horror?! To help you out, DLS Reviews provides an in-depth dissection of Robert Essig’s novella ‘Baby Fights’ (2023).

Trust me, this thing is every bit as messed-up as it sounds! A truly delightful read!

[ditzybat]

tim drake is the type of guy to drop random lore then walk away.

tim: ugh i hate baseball, it’s like, when you have to play it in order to save a whole planet once, every game after seem boring

dick: that’s not…

tim: only downside to that was how we almost totaled barts brand new spaceship

dick: what spaceship??

—

tim: oh, hi mom

shiva: hello timothy, how are you? still keeping up with your training i take it?

bruce: mother? she’s not your —

shiva: let’s spar then timothy, let’s leave it strictly non lasting injuries, i don’t rather feel like dying by your hand again today

tim: of course!! ^-^

bruce: again?

—

tim: man i forgot to take my meds again

duke: your meds for what?

tim: i have no spleen, so i have to take probiotics, it really is manageable but i dont know where those pills went

duke: i’m almost scared to ask, tim, how did you lose your spleen?

tim: weird spider dude, it was a whole thing

—

tim: you talk a lot of shit for someone who got replaced as heir to your immortal grandfathers empire by me

damian: you what!?

tim: i regularly beat his ass at online chess every week too, and i don’t think you’ve seen him since he stole your corpse

—

tim: here

jason: what’s this?

tim: a box of all the photos i took when i obsessively stalked you for your entire tenure as robin

jason: thanks?

tim: you’re welcome, bye!

jason: … creepy ass kid…

—

steph: so how did you to get together?

bernard: well —

tim: i saved him from a getting cut open by chaos monster cult members

bernard: yep, i was rescued from being a vessel for a greek god, and we just really clicked afterwards

steph: well, it’s better than the brick

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF Pizza sim’s plot is just the Afton’s fighting

[saltoru]

being a jujutsu sorcerer and a parent rarely ends well. sorcerers who have to fight for their lives everyday barely have any time and energy even for themselves. adding babies to the picture is hard to imagine.

but gojo was determined to balance his work and personal life when you entered his life, which is why he has a baby girl strapped to his chest as he holds up his hand and crosses his fingers, already to send a special grade curse into his domain.

"daddy~" his baby babbles, cheek squished against his purple uniform.

"yes, baby?" gojo smiles down at his baby and gently sweeps her hair out of her eyes. he pays little to no attention to the curse, who had already spread out their domain and is currently sending wave after wave of attacks, all of which gojo repels with a touch. "this is domain expansion," he gently explains to her, smirking at the curse who is obviously offended that he wasn't taking them seriously. "in a second, you're gonna see daddy's domain."

his baby blinks and shuffles around in the strap, whining a bit as she tries to get comfortable. for all she knows, it's too dark and hot and she misses mommy's smell.

before she knows it, the space around her begins to look like the night sky, and she can't see the curse anymore.

"this is my domain," her daddy says, but she misses seeing the sun. why is it nighttime all of the sudden?

"nooo" she whines as she kicks around. where's the ice cream he promised her earlier? and where is mommy? she doesn't want to go to sleep yet!

"not easily impressed, hm?" he laughs, protectively holding his baby's head against his chest as he closes up his domain after finishing off the curse.

"let's go get ice cream, yeah?" he ruffles her hair and holds up her hands, dancing them up in the air with a huge grin. the sunlight hits her face again and a smile quickly reappears. "you did so good today. did you learn a lot about jujutsu fights today? did'ja enjoy our little adventure together?"

"ice cweam" she smiles, doing a few happy kicks. and that's how the tradition of getting ice cream after missions started for the daddy-daughter pair.

[anna-scribbles]

emma dupain cheng on the brain😽🎀

more:

[ciderjacks]

thinking again about how much trust he had to have in Laios to recommend his own daughter in case he dies

[fangshing]

LMAO you're fine anon. i try to be nice to people but i have tried to make it explicitly clear that i have 0 to do with Baby Fights. like at all. my only involvement is that I am mutuals with someone. I follow him and he follows me. but i suppose that's not good enough of an answer and now it thinks I'm in some kind of evil shadow group chat that conspires to dox it and send it and its friends gore. im not (and i find both things to be repugnant). but seeing as im mutuals with [person's name] and now [second person who station is harassing] that must mean i have Insider Knowledge and need to be defeated. or something idk. Shit's crazy

[hollis-art]

look at them go, the majestic creatures

[satoshy12]

Phantom kidnapped Lois to fight Superman.

Danny wants a good fight since he is stuck in DC verse.

Lois wasn't sure as she looked at the young Meta boy, maybe Jon's age, who seemed to be really happy. He didn't seem like a villain.

And after a short talk, she learned it. The boy, Phantom, had kidnapped her next to her sidekick, Clark Kent,(his words) in public to get Superman to fight him.

After all, any time Clark saw her getting kidnapped, Superman came.

He says something about Superman playing with the rest, and he wants to join. He missed a good fight!

Lois wanted to laugh; it's kind of cute, as she noticed Phantom had just kidnapped her so Superman could go all out in a fight!

Yeah, that won't work. Clark has super hearing and knows the truth, so the poor boy won't get into a fight.

+

Danny is bored since he was struck in this universe and no ghost attacked him. His damn ghost instincts scream fight and battle! And he will do it. As a Baby Ghost it's worse then adults one and he then saw a Alien!

He will get his Fight With a Alien!!

[goat-fanatic]

late nights in baby zzz

[noxcheshire]

Back at it again with my Danny is mom coded au’s, but this time it’s because of Clockwork that he suddenly has a whole ass teenage kid.

Clockwork had been bored or maybe he was playing a game against an opponent, or even lost a bet, whatever it was, he stepped in right as Jason was searching for his biological mother.

The DNA that would have registered itself as one Sheila Haywood, confirming Jason’s mother, glitched a terrible green across the screens of the batcomputer.

In those few moments of chaos Jason’s heart beat rapidly as he tried to figure out why the computer wasn’t working, wondering if his only chance to find his mom — his blood mom — would never find success.

Then as suddenly as things went wrong the DNA settled and pinged.

Jason watched, his chest tight, as one Danny C. Works, formerly Danny Fenton appeared onto the big screen.

Danny looked a lot like Jason, short cut black hair more straight than the subtle curls of Jason’s own; deep blue eyes, tired in a way that spoke of long days and nights, but with a warm happiness that made the familiar smile — the one Jason would see on himself every time he looked into the mirror — even more striking.

Jason didn’t linger too long on the male identifying gender, nor the fact his mom leaned more towards a masculine name or clothing.

There were plenty of male to female, and female to male leaning individuals that lived in Crime Alley. He had seen it enough to not even bat an eye at it, even now. After all, in Gotham you minded your business least you find yourself in business you can’t leave.

On a different monitor information of Danny C. Works piled for Jason to quickly browse through.

Danny was a senior engineer, no intimate relationships, and with no close connections to family outside of the tentative calls from Jasmine Fenton.

Danny was estranged from Jack and Madeline Fenton, a falling out that had occurred just a little before Danny’s high school graduation. If Jason calculated it correctly that would have been — around the season Jason himself would have been born.

Okay, so no grandparents then but I might have a maybe aunt. Jason scrolled further and stilled.

Twin toddlers: Dante and Danielle Works.

Jason had baby siblings.

He doesn’t let the sting of younger siblings consume him, doesn’t allow the whispering thoughts of why he had been given up when his younger siblings had been kept and so very obviously loved.

Jason took deep breathes, he didn’t have time to linger here. He had a family to get to, and a family he would get to.

It took almost all night to reach, the starlight night sky slowly and surely fading into cloudy wine as the sun rose, but Jason made it.

And when the door opened to his hesitant but firm knock, Jason was unable to speak. His mom — dad, maybe? Did they want to be mom or dad? — stood in the doorway, brows furrowed in confusion.

It was when Danny spoke his vigilante name did Jason only just realize that he was still dressed to the nine’s in his Robin costume.