#BPD mention

[perisbpddiary]

me: pulls away from all my friends

me: doesn't have friends now

also me: well how did that happen!

[rottedcreatures]

Something I always tell myself is that if you remain calm while someone screams at you and curses at you in the most immature manner you've ever seen, you will eventually get them to realize they are being needlessly cruel.

However I have just been cruely reminded by @/phantomhunt that this is not always the case. Our Remus fictive accidentally triggered them multiple days ago, and hadn't had a chance to apologize. Someone messaged them with our side system's past and they proceeded to decide we hadn't changed at all.

Which is not true at all, but regardless. Their Virgil alter then began cursing at us and demanding a "good enough excuse" for what Remus had done. We told them, multiple times, Remus hadn't been aware of their triggers at the time and was reminded and going to apologize; but hadn't yet had a chance to.

They continued to curse and talk down to us as if we were below them. Then we told them not to speak to us that way, they said "no, I will." And forced our Remus alter to front in a triggering situation while their anti-septiceye alter talked to us like we are the dirt beneath their feet.

We checked their status and they had "splitting: interact with extreme caution" with abbreviations. We realized they were having a BPD induced meltdown and we blocked them after saying if this is how they react to an innocent mistake, we shouldn't be friends.

They are acting like a toddler because we didn't want to force our alter to front and take the verbal abuse they threw our way.

Pathetic. I know they won't see this and I am glad. We needed a space to vent.

[brosef-von-dudehomie]

@13flowersandfoxes

[jade-harley-yuri]

splitting always poisons my dashboard for a couple days 😭

[ladygrey111]

The whole, "K*lling urself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" bullshit is spouted by the ignorant lucky ones who have only had temporary problems. Some people's problems are permanent so maybe try offering actual help and support to them rather than regurgitating an overused phrase that means nothing to people with real struggles.

[bioethicists]

it's very important to understand how a personality disorder diagnosis functions in the psychiatric system, even if you identify with the diagnosis or find it useful.

personality disorders on your medical record will be used to discredit anything you say or do. they indicate "don't bother listening to this person; apply treatment regardless of their wishes but also they're probably manipulating/attention-seeking so maybe don't bother treating them". needing support becomes attention-seeking. behaviors that would be treated + supported in someone without this diagnosis are ignored or treated as manipulative. providers are instructed to "withdraw warmth" (a real thing in the DBT provider's manual, btw) in response to self-injury or suicidal ideation.

if you have been dx'd with a personality disorder professionally, you likely understand this.

now, here's the important part: this is not an issue of 'stigma' against a politically neutral, pre-discursive True Disease which is being Unfairly Maligned. these diagnoses were formulated based on the idea that some patients cannot be trusted, that some patients seek care too much. they are applied to patient charts as a justification for withdrawing care or as a dismissal of someone "not getting better" fast enough. in the uk, they are often employed by the nhs to shame or problematize people who use large amounts of nhs resources, arguing that receiving a lot of care through the nhs is a negative behavior stemming from a disordered personality.

there are elements of personality disorders which resonate strongly with many people, including myself, but you need to be clear-eyed about the origins + functions of this diagnosis. as a whole, they were created + function as ways to discredit + mistreat noncompliant or "difficult" patients. 'reclaiming' them is not going to change how they function systematically- it is going to make it easier to engage in this systematic neglect by evoking 'ableism' or 'stigma!' when people question the utility or application of the diagnosis.

[npdemu]

reblog to blow up an ableist

[lovelessbachelor]

i go 'whoops' whenever i read something that applies to me or my situation like i was reading the causes for bpd earlier and it was like 'bpd may be caused by experiencing long-term fear or distress as a child, being neglected by one, or both,of your parents or caregivers as a child or growing up with a family member who had a serious mental health condition or a problem with alcohol or drugs.' and I'm just like fucking whoopsie daisy stop psychoanalysing me blud

[perisbpddiary]

me feeling my friend slightly pull away so now I'm just gonna ignore them because if I leave first it doesn't hurt

[rottedcreatures]

Not sure if the edited post actually went through, but I'd like to apologize for what wass sssaid in that post about the BPD community. The alter posting it hadn't realized it would come across as insensitive. We do apologize for any hurt feelingsss our possst may have causssed. /gen

[sin-esthezia]

the thing that gets me the most about ableism against pd’s is that ppl will be like “these disorders make you an ASSHOLE!!!!” and then turn around and pretend that other disorders can’t and don’t make you act shitty.

depression and anxiety can make you irritable and snappy. they can cause you to refuse to listen to people and to be distant and withdrawn. they can cause you to seem angry, bitchy, rude, uncaring, etc.

ptsd causes an array of difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. it pretty much shakes up your entire worldview and sense of self a lot of the time. ptsd can cause you to get angry often. it can cause you to yell and scream. it can cause you to withdraw from others, run away, or cut them out. it can cause general changes in demeanor and more cynical worldviews. it can make you seem grouchy, negative, explosive, impolite, difficult, needy, controlling, etc.

and yet when people with personality disorders have symptoms of that nature, suddenly we are irredeemable monsters. when it’s npd, bpd, hpd, or aspd instead of ptsd or depression and anxiety, people suddenly and magically lose the ability to be understanding.

mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. i firmly believe that. hurting others is never justified simply because you have any disorder.

but if you can be patient with people who have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, or any other LESS stigmatized mental illness, you can be patient with us.

[drowningbpdbodies]

“You’re so quiet, what’s on your mind?” My body is a prison and my soul is its prisoner

[aintnopartylikeaprideparty]

as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."

and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.

does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?

Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,

you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.

you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.

[decayingstargirl]

me and my friend having a serious conversation about how we're mentally ill and need help knowing full well neither of us are going to get help

[cccat-in-a-meat-sack]

me, with both:...

[perisbpddiary]

I've been dissociated like 24/7 for weeks now this isn't great