#HE’S GOT A SPADE-SHAPED NOSE SO LIKE

[doctorsiren]

what if, for your AA monster au Nicks phoenix wings glow blue when he’s super mad cuz when fire is at its hottest temperature it glows blue or violet so it only happens when he’s “heated” haha get it

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE

[cloudcountry]

OH MY GOD. THE MIX UP VALENTINE POST. YOU ATE!!!! could i rq a version with riddle, ace, deuce, octavinelle, and lillia? 🫶🫶

SUMMARY: you get a gift that was meant for the student you like, and the contents spur you to action.

COMMENTS: this is a spin off post of this post!! IM GLAD U LIKED IT ANON i was proud of that one myself ehehe

also the character limit is five so i picked azul from octavinelle

You stare blankly at the box of chocolate in your hands, the gift crammed into your desk haphazardly. At first, you thought it was for you—that’s what anyone would assume, right? Except...the note on top of it is not addressed to you, but rather, the guy you like. It makes you wonder if this is some joke, or if one of his friends wanted you to deliver it for him. You pick at the heart sticker sealing the note shut and peel it open, taking a peak of the contents.

Your eyes wide and your heart lurches in your chest, panic and annoyance roaring like red hot flames as you read what sounds like a genuine confession of love. Someone had their eyes on him? How did you never notice?

Was it weird to get jealous? I mean, he’s not even dating you yet...you don’t even know if he feels the same way. You can’t deny it doesn’t feel good that there’s another student trying to woo him, though. You’ve been so scared up until this point, so nervous about what he might think, but the clock is ticking. You’ve got to tell him before it’s too late.

Riddle sits up even straighter when he sees you approaching him with a heart shaped box and an envelope, his cheeks flushing pink. He clears his throat when you arrive, expression all twisted up as if you’re unhappy about something. Riddle turns to look at you, holding his chin high as he addresses you by name.

“Do you have something to tell me?” he asks, arms crossed over his chest.

“This is a pathetic gift for the Queen of Hearts.” you reply dryly, throwing the gifts on the ground and stomping on them, “Someone thought that would be enough for you, but I won’t stand for it.”

Riddle stares open mouthed at the torn envelope and crushed box of chocolates, but a giant bundle of roses blocks his line of sight.

“This.” you say, a bouquet of roses in one hand and an entire strawberry tart in the other, with the truffles from the box placed in a circle around it in your hands, “Is a far more fitting gift for courting the queen.”

Deuce freezes after he reads the note you gave him with a sour face, cheeks turning pink. He wonders why you look so upset when you just confessed how much you like him—even though the words seem a bit off...

“See, Deuce? I told you you were popular.” you scoff, wrinkling your nose in disgust.

You glare so intensely at the envelope that Deuce feels your anger and jealousy.

“Is this...not from you?” he asks softly, his heart plummeting out of his body. And here he was, getting all delighted and cheesy about it—

“Nah. It’s not.” you say flippantly, “I’m confessing my feelings in a much better way.”

Deuce gasps when you pull out a bouquet of dark blue roses, kneeling at his feet as you take his hand. He swears you see hearts in his eyes as he stares at the flowers and your face, which look up at him with determination he knows all too well.

“Deuce Spade, I want you to be mine.” you declare, and his legs turn to jelly as he babbles out an enthusiastic yes.

“I can’t believe someone who isn't me likes your dumbass.” you smack Ace’s arm as he snickers over the note, an immature gesture if there ever was one.

“Well, if you like this dumbass what does that make you, huh? A stupidass?” he quips, knocking his whole body against you.

You squeal and shove him back, sticking your tongue out at his shocked face as he falls off the bed.

“Really!? This is how you’re confessing your love to me?” Ace huffs, playful as always, “I want a divorce.”

“You idiot, I’m just speaking your language!” you snap back, throwing a pillow at his head, “All you do is tease and yap and jab so I’m giving you a taste of your own medicine!”

“Oh you’re on!” Ace jumps to his feet, pillow in hand.

It’s obvious he likes you back. It always has been. And even if that person hadn’t sent that note, you two still would have known just how much you care for each other, even if it remains (mostly) unsaid.

(You still trampled that note at least ten times during your pillow fight though.)

“Is this some kind of joke?” Azul says blandly, placing the letter down on his desk of his VIP Room, “This obviously isn’t your handwriting, nor is it your style of writing.”

“That’s because it’s not mine.” you say just as blandly, raising an eyebrow as Azul looks over his spectacles at you, “Were you hoping it was?”

“What is the purpose of this visit then? You bring me some random letter with a confession of love...don’t tell me you’re hoping to butter me up.” Azul chuckles, standing up as gracefully as ever, “You should know better than anyone that those tricks do not work on me.”

You stand up as well, arms crossed over your chest as you meet his stare with your own.

“Because, Azul, someone left that note in my desk. It was addressed to you, as you can see, so I bought it for you. What you just read is what encouraged me to take action.” you take a deep breath and summon all of your courage, there truly is no turning back now, “Azul, I am interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you. I can assure you I’ve thought this over many times before coming to you with this proposal. If you’re willing, I would love to sit down and have a talk about the terms and conditions of this deal.”

You hold out your hand for a handshake.

Azul’s mouth forms an o shape, and for a second you’d say he looks shocked, but he composes himself quickly as is all too inclined to place his hand in yours.

“Well, well, well!” he beams, voice light and airy with what you can only assume is joy, “Let’s get negotiations underway, shall we?”

“Aww, you shouldn’t have.” Lilia coos, bringing a hand up to his mouth, “Why do you look so sour, sweets?”

“Because it’s not from me. It was stuffed in my desk and addressed to you.” you wrinkle your nose, the envelope clenched in your fist, “I don’t like the idea of someone confessing to you before I could.”

Lilia giggles, still hiding his mouth behind his hand. You stare blankly at him, tapping your foot so hard your ankle starts to cramp up.

“Oh, no need to look so anxious, dear. I’m sure you’re well aware of where my affections lie, yes?” Lilia approaches you, his fingers intertwining with yours as the envelope flutters to the floor, unnoticed and uncared for.

He doesn’t have much time left. He’s loved and he’s lost, he may as well go for what he wants while it’s still here, in front of him.

“That is such an indirect way of confessing.” you groan, squeezing his hand, “I even got you a whole bag of mystery flavored red lollipops...”

“Gifts are best shared, my dear!” Lilia laughs, pulling you over to his bed, “Now, hurry up! I want to see which flavor I get first!”

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

🐇 Deuce Spade Easter Headcanons 🐇

In light of it being Easter Sunday, I decided to compile a list of Easter themed headcanons for our local baby chick boy

Also, quick word of warning - I’ve never celebrated Easter before so I deeply apologise if any of this is offensive. I just thought that the whole aesthetic of chicks, eggs and bunnies would go really well with Deuce and wanted to write about that

Reader is female

Masterlist

Since Spring has sprung, you decided to tell Deuce about a holiday from your world and him being the sweetheart he is, wanted to recreate it with you here in Twisted Wonderland

🐣 Imagine decorating Easter eggs with him, just having a blast in Ramshackle, with old newspapers covering the surface of the dining table and a bunch of paints spread out. Deuce takes this very seriously, scrunching his nose up in concentration as a shaky hand carefully applies paint to each egg. You did have a wonderful time coming up with different designs but then Ace got wind of your little date and whined about you playing favourites (“Of course, she’s playing favourites - I’m her boyfriend!”) so the next day your entire first year squad (+ Ortho) all decided to decorate Easter eggs so you ended up with a range of colourful mismatched eggs that were worth their weight in gold.

🐣 MATCHING EASTER THEMED OUTFITS. Like obviously you’d have chick themed outfits but imagine also bunny themed outfits as well with him. Of course, you have to deal with Leona’s teasing about how you look even more like a herbivore now but you kind of predicted that. Also, you send every single picture that you take of you and Deuce to his mother (that you are having constant conversations with) and whilst Deuce is so unbelievably happy that his two favourite people are getting along so well, he could do with a little less gushing about him.

🐣 Speaking of Easter outfits, imagine making Easter bonnets together, using a hot glue gun to stick on little bits and bobs like tiny chicks, bunnies and fake flowers

🐣 You handmake him homemade chocolates that are shaped like little baby chicks and bunnies. He loves them so much that he doesn’t even want to eat them, only to get slapped on the head by Ace for being a whipped idiot

🐣 You, Deuce and the rest of the first (minus Jack) totally don’t get food comas from eating too many chocolate eggs at once, by the way

🐣 You already have a habit of making him cute bento boxes or adorable looking omurice dishes, but you decided to go the extra mile and put little chick figurines inside each one. Deuce feels like he’s going to cry - he loves you so much.

🐣 You get him a bunch of those wind up chick toys - the bright eyed smile on his face outshined the sun

🐣 You organise an Easter egg hunt inside Ramshackle, consisting of chocolate eggs, the eggs you decorated and plastic eggs with little toys inside and let the first years go wild

🐣 The two of you go on dates to petting zoos so that you could hang around with actual chicks and bunnies in a safe environment and also go on picnics in the park where you feed nearby ducks (not bread. Bread is not a safe food for ducks to eat.)

[bitethedevil]

Taming the Wolf (Raphael x Tav): Chapter 1

Tags and Warnings for this fic: Plus-Size!Tav, Druid!Tav, Tiefling!Tav, Dark!Raphael, Breeding Kink, Mind-control, Non-Con and Dub-Con Elements, Sex Pollen, Master/Pet Dynamic, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.

A link to read this fic on AO3 (kudos or comments make the author very happy <3)

Next Chapter >>

Fic Summary: Tav tried to avoid fulfilling her contract to Raphael by leaving the Crown of Karsus on the bottom of the Chionthar, leaving her contract unfulfilled by a technicality. Although, no situation is so bad that the new Archdevil of the First can't find a way to profit off it. All the other archdevils of the Hells have their own lineages of tieflings on the Material Plane and Raphael is not going to feel left out...

AN: I'm working on learning how to write smut, so I made this. That's essentially what this fic is: depraved smut. I also noticed that there aren't a lot of plus-sized Tav fics when it comes to Raphael (please recommend them to me if you have found any), so Raph is into bigger girls in this one. There is no smut in this first chapter since I am setting the scene first, but remember to mind the tags in future chapters. There might be additions to them as we go along with this fic.

Tav was padding through the forest, sniffing the ground in her wolf form. She had gotten the scent of a rabbit. She was following its trail with her nose, and the scent was getting stronger. She was getting close. Her mouth started watering.

She slowed her pace and lowered her body closer to the ground when she saw it. Just a few feet ahead of her, she saw the fat little creature sitting on its hindlegs, sniffing the air. She moved closer with calculated steps. It turned its head towards her. She pounced on it…

…And missed it. Yet again. The little creature sped through the forest floor before she could even sink her teeth into it. Her hunting skills had needed training ever since she got rid of the tadpole. She felt like a novice again after having spent so much time in her real form during her adventure.

She huffed and lowered her nose to the ground yet again to see if she could find her next meal somewhere else. That is when she saw flames rise around her. She instinctively walked backwards to avoid them. They quickly lowered again, and she saw that she was somewhere entirely else.

The smell of sulfur reached her nose immediately and it made her blood run cold. So did her new surroundings. She was in a gigantic hall that seemed big enough for a small army to comfortably march through. The tall walls were made of dark basalt. She fixed her orange eyes at the shapes she saw on the walls. She looked at the charred bodies hanging from them.

She smelled him in the air before she heard him: sulfur, musk, palmarosa, and pepper.

“Yes, Zariel had a bit of a flair for dramatics.”

She turned back into her human form. Her white fur turned into her grey skin, her fluffy tail turned into her long spaded one, and she felt the familiar weight of her curved horns on her head again. She stumbled slightly as she turned around to face him. She had not walked on two legs for days.

“Raphael,” she greeted and coughed, trying to find her voice again.

His body was turned towards the wall she had been looking at. His head turned towards her. He was dressed fancier than she had ever seen him. His usual red and blue outfit had been exchanged for a black suit with red and gold accents.

He looked her up and down with the hint of an amused smile on his lips. She no doubt looked a mess. Her thick dark curls had not seen a brush for weeks. Her grey skin was caked with dirt and old blood from the few kills she had managed to make while she had been in Wildshape.

“You are no less feral than the last time I saw you, I see,” he said. “Perhaps a bath is in order before we speak. A certain degree of decorum is expected when one speaks to an Archdevil.”

That made her cough even worse as she choked on her own spit.

“A what?” she choked out and looked him up and down.

“An Archdevil,” he repeated. “Avernus is mine after you left the Crown of Karsus to me.”

They had promised the Crown of Karsus to Raphael, but they had left it at the bottom of the Chionthar instead. The pieces of the it were scattered across the bottom of the river, and they had naively hoped that was enough to keep it from doing more harm.

“Went for a swim, did you?” she asked. “Congratulations, I suppose. We had hoped that it would stay put.”

“Did you now?” he asked and turned to face her. “That would mean that our agreement was broken and that your soul is mine.”

“You interrupted my hunt,” she sighed. “Can we get to why I am here anytime soon?”

“Certainly…” he said with a dangerous smile. “Instead of skinning you and making you into a new fur rug for my throne room, and making your fine friends join the charred corpses on the wall for trying to snub me of what I was owed, I will graciously ignore this lazy little mistake. If, of course, you accept my terms.”

She sniffed and scowled at him.

“I don’t owe you anything, devil,” she said and crossed her arms over her chest. “You got your crown in the end, didn’t you?”

“Indeed, but not brought to me by you as agreed upon,” he said and smiled at her. “I find myself…unsatisfied and wanting more. Fortunately, I have use for you and I am legally in my full right to hold you accountable for this.”

“I couldn’t give less of a shit about devil laws.”

“Language,” he chided. “You will when I hurt you and the ones you hold dear. It is a simple deal, really. You will stay here with me in Avernus for an unspecified amount of time, and in return you will live a life of luxury while you do.”

She laughed and then gestured to the state she was in.

“Do I look like I care about living in luxury?” she asked. “What do you want me here for?”

His lips tugged up in a smirk and he glanced over her body.

“You’ll find out.”

She rolled her eyes.

“And if I refuse?” she asked.

“I can use the Crown to make you say yes, though I would prefer not to,” he said casually. “It would be more satisfying to avoid it.”

She narrowed her eyes at that.

“No, you can’t,” she said. “The contract stated that you could not use the Crown of Karsus to dominate mortals. I’m not immortal.”

Raphael chuckled at that.

“Had you taken the time to properly read it through, as I suggested you should, you would know that there are exceptions,” he explained. “Those who are of Infernal bloodlines are one of those exceptions. You are a tiefling, my dear.”

Fuck. She knew that he was not lying. She scowled at him. She would never have dreamed of signing if she knew that was in the contract. Tieflings somehow always got the short end of the stick. He smiled at her like the cat that got the cream, drinking up the furious expression on her face.

“So…” he said with a smile as he walked closer. “Will you be a good pup and roll over or must I tighten your leash?”

She sneered at him and her eyes darkened.

“I’m not a dog,” she said. “And should you for a second be under the false impression that you are the master of me, then I will tear you apart.”

He chuckled and ignored your threat.

“Oh, that’s right. You believe yourself a wolf, isn’t that so?” he said. “Where is your pack then, wolf? While you scour the forests for food all on your own, because you have run out of funds to feed yourself. It has only been months since you became the hero of Baldur’s Gate, and you are already right back where you started. Without possessions, without friends, without dignity, while you live like a beast rather than a person.”

“It’s a choice,” she grumbled. “And none of your business besides.”

It was, though it would be a lie to say that it had not also been a necessity. She never had much since she left her circle all those years ago. It was easier, cheaper, and freer to live in the woods.

It was also lonely. She knew she could have reached out to her old companions after their adventure, but she never did. She did not want to trouble them, and it felt safer to be alone. It had been so easy to fall into old habits.

“Here you can be so much more,” he purred. “I see potential for something great behind that beast you parade as.”

She did not answer. Raphael smiled widely and put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed.

“Do not force me to make you submit,” he said before completely changing into a lighter mood. “Now! I will have my servants prepare a bath for you. You reek. After, we will dine together. I suspect you must be hungry, since I interrupted your hunt for dinner.”

She was very uncomfortable as the servants insisted on washing her in the bath. She had tried to insist that she could wash herself, but the two tiefling women were not having it after they saw the state of her. The bath smelled of some sort of lavender oil mixed with something else. The smell was too strong and perfume-like for her liking.

When they brought out the shaving kit, it finally made her protest. She wrapped her arms around herself and stared at them as one of the servant ladies tried to pry her arm up.

“No,” Tav said stubbornly.

The woman pursed her lips and sighed.

“Please, my lady,” the woman said. “We have been ordered to.”

“No.”

The two women looked at each other as if trying to figure out what to do. They looked nervous as they did so. Tav figured that there might be consequences for them if they did not heed Raphael’s orders. She sighed in annoyance.

“Why does he want me shaved?” she asked.

“We do not know, my lady,” the other woman said. “Please. We will be careful not to nick you.”

Tav sneered and reluctantly let her arms be raised above her head so they could shave her armpits. She had grown quite hairy during her time in the woods. She preferred it that way and she could not guess why Raphael would care about it. She was not happy.

She was even less happy when there came a knock on the door. Both of the women paused their movements. One of them got up to place a screen in front of the tub. Tav looked at the both of them with a confused expression. The one of them that did not get up smiled sweetly at her.

“The physician,” she explained. “Come in!”

“The what?” Tav asked.

She heard someone enter the room.

“Good evening, my lady,” a male voice said from behind the screen. “Apologies for interrupting your bath. I need only ask you a few questions.”

Tav blinked and scrunched up her face.

“Why?” she asked. “I’m not sick or anything. What do I need to see a physician for?”

“His Grace has requested it, my lady.”

Her eyes were about to roll out of her skull when she heard Raphael be referred to as ‘His Grace’.

“Get on with it then,” she grumbled quietly.

“Do you have any allergies that you are aware of?” he asked.

“No.”

She heard a quill running over parchment as he was noting it down on the other side of the screen.

“How much do you weigh?”

“No idea. I’ve always been a bit on the heavy side.”

“Do you have any medical conditions that you know of?”

“No.”

“Has anyone in your family had any medical conditions that you know of?”

“Don’t think so.”

“Have you ever been pregnant?”

Tav raised an eyebrow at that question.

“No?” she answered.

“Have any of the women in your family had trouble conceiving?”

The questions were taking an odd turn.

“Not that I know of,” she said. “Why?”

“I am not allowed to tell you,” the physician explained and then continued his questions. “When did you last bleed?”

She huffed at that answer.

“Recently,” she said.

“How recently? Days? Weeks?”

“A bit over a week perhaps,” she answered. “Are you sure you can’t tell me? What is going on?”

“I cannot tell you,” he repeated while he was scribbling down something. “That will be all for now. I will visit you tomorrow to check your weight and height.”

She heard him get up from his chair to leave.

“Alright?” she said with a sigh and looked at the ladies on either side of her with confusion. The both of them avoided her questioning gaze.

The servants dried her off, and with some resistance from her, they got her in a dress. It was a dark blue silk dress that was supposed to ‘compliment the yellow of her eyes and the grey of her skin’. Tav thought she just looked stupid. The dress was too tight around her waist, making her hips look even wider than they already were.

When they were done with their little game of dress-up, she studied herself in the mirror with a scowl on her face. She looked ridiculous. Her body was on full display in the dress. It was not that she had ever had a problem with showing off her plumpness, but she just also had never felt the reason to pull attention to it like this. The form of her stomach was on display, and it made her feel naked.  

She was ushered through the fortress and into a large room with a table in the middle. Raphael sat at the end of it drinking wine. The table was filled with all kinds of food and drink. Raphael devoured her form with his eyes before gesturing for her to sit down beside him. She kept standing. She wanted answers first.

“What is the meaning of all of this?” she asked with narrowed eyes.

“I had imagined that you were hungry,” Raphael said and took a sip of his wine.

“You know what I mean…and I am,” she said. “But I am more starved for answers than food currently. Why am I here?”

“All will soon be revealed,” he said and gestured to the chair again. “Sit down.”

“No,” she said stubbornly.

“Sit,” Raphael said more harshly this time. “And eat. I have questions for you.”

“No,” she repeated.

Raphael waved his hand and she found herself sitting down against her will.

“Good girl,” he said as if to a dog and smiled even wider.

It pissed her off even more. A low groan of frustration escaped her, that would have been a growl if she had been in her preferred form. She thought about getting up again just to spite him but there would be no use in it. She decided to eat instead.

“Tell me about where you come from,” Raphael said and swirled the contents of his glass.

“North,” she said and pulled apart a piece of chicken with her hands.

“I had gathered,” Raphael said with a tight disgusted smile at the way she was eating. “I am more curious where your ancestry comes from.”

“North,” she repeated and shoved a piece of chicken in her mouth. “Are you asking about my tiefling ancestors?”

“Indeed,” he said.

“Don’t know,” she answered. “I just know that it’s far back and that we are Asmodeus tieflings. None of my parents are tieflings. It had skipped two generations before it appeared in me.”

“Fascinating,” he said. “One would not have guessed Asmodeus tiefling from your appearance. That grey skin of yours would have suggested Zariel.”

“My dad was a drow.”

“A bit of a mutt then,” he said with a chuckle. “That’s perfect for what I need you for.”

“A mutt? Your dog metaphors are hilarious, though they are already getting a bit old, don’t you think? Besides, it’s rich of you to call anyone a mutt when you are a cambion yourself,” she huffed. “What do you need me for?”

Her comment annoyed him, and she could see it in his eyes, though he apparently chose to ignore it.

“Oh, but the dog metaphors are so fitting for what I intend to use you for,” he said with a cruel smile. “Why else would one be keen to get their hands on a prized bitch with interesting bloodlines like yours? To breed pups, of course.”

She almost choked on the piece of chicken she was eating.

“Excuse me?”

“All the other notable archdevils have spread their lineages across your realm,” he explained. “We all have to start somewhere, of course. I cannot think of anything more poetic than the woman who helped me win my crown to be the start of my own lineage of tieflings. I am feeling rather generous so I will only demand five children out of you, and then you are free to go.”

She was dumbstruck for a moment as the information sunk in. Then she became furious.

“You would have me be a broodmare for your children?” she asked harshly. “And risk my life in the process? Are you insane?”

“If you refuse, I can have you killed for certain instead,” he said. “Or worse, I can force you.”

Her eyes glowed for a moment as she was about to lose control of her temper and transform. She dug her claws into the arms of the chair she was sitting in as she tried to calm herself before she did something stupid.

“Tieflings and cambions can produce more cambions,” she hissed. “In case you have never picked up a biology book. A swift death would be kinder than dying while trying to birth a cambion.”

“The chances are rather slim. Especially with a diluted Infernal bloodline like yours,” he explained. “Besides, I will have physicians and midwives to tend to your every need for the same reason. Does the child grow bigger than a tiefling would, we will kill it. You are too useful to me alive for me to let you die in childbirth.”

“I am not even considering this!” she yelled. “You are out of your mind.”

“Though you will consider it, because the consequences of refusing me will be much worse,” he said calmly. “I promise you, that if you simply come peacefully, no harm will come to you. I will be generous with you. I will only take you when the chances for conception are the highest. The rest of the time you will be left to yourself, free to do whatever you please.”

“Take me?” she growled. “Archdevil or not, I will tear you apart if you as much as touch me!”

Raphael sighed when he saw her eyes starting to glow in anger again, but continued explaining:

“You will have your own chambers, of course. You will be well taken care of, and the only thing you will have to worry about is your pregnancy and the birth. You will not even have to see the children after they are born either, if that is what you wish.”

She hammered her fist down onto the table and got up. She was looking at him like a woman with murder on her mind.

“Send me back,” she hissed at him. “Now.”

“No,” Raphael replied calmly with an unimpressed expression on his face.

“Send. Me. Back.”

“I wonder if you are hard of hearing or simply thick-headed,” he said and narrowed his eyes at her. “Have I not made it abundantly clear what your options are?”

“I won’t do it,” she said. “You can’t make me. Infernal law states that deals cannot be made if the other party is under duress or if the deal is signed because of death threats. That much I do know.”

Raphael chuckled.

“I am not asking you to sign a thing, my dear,” he said in a dark tone. “I already have a contract with your signature on it. Those laws are in place for those who have not yet signed. I already own you. I am in my full right to do whatever I please with you. Had you simply handed me the Crown then it would have been a different story, but you did not.”

Her realizing her predicament was the last straw. She lost her temper and in the blink of an eye she found herself in her wolf form. She had pushed away the table and the chair during her transformation. She snarled and locked her eyes on him. Then she remembers pouncing on him, though never landing before she heard a snap, and everything went black.

She woke up in a bed that she had hoped would be her own before she opened her eyes. When she did open them, she learned to her disappointment that it had not all been an odd fever dream. She was in a bedroom that was five times larger than the one she had at her home on the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate.

The bedchamber was lavishly decorated. There was a bathtub in the corner, a desk with a chair and some writing utensils on it, a large wardrobe, and a fireplace with two armchairs in front of it. She was not impressed. Lavish as it was, it did not fool her: this was a cell.

She sat up on the bed and when she moved, she felt something around her neck. Her hand went to it and found a collar around it. She touched all the way around it to find an opening or a clasp, but there were none. She pulled on it, but it did not give. She instinctively knew that it had some magical purpose, but she was not yet sure what it was.

She got off the bed to find a mirror. She found one on the desk and she saw that there was some kind of inscription on the collar. Her eyes narrowed at the Infernal letters that adorned the black collar in a golden script. Her Infernal was rusty but she did manage to put together what it said:

‘Property of the Archdevil of the First.’

She was fuming. She tugged at the collar in anger once again, still with no luck. Her eyes fell on a piece of parchment on the table. Her eyes scanned over the words, and it only managed to further stir the flames of her temper:

‘If you are to act like a beast, you will be treated as one. You are invited to dine with me tonight. I expect you to be on your best behavior or you may find yourself waking up in a cage the next time you bare your teeth at me, dog. - R”

Her breathing had quickened into furious puffs of air. Her hands clenched into fists. She would tear this room apart. She would tear him apart and paint the walls with his blood. She would devour him. She felt the familiar feeling of her druidic magic spreading through her veins.

Though something was different. The magic would not take as it usually did.

She stayed in that middle-stage of transformation. Her face fell at the realization. She tried again to turn into her wolf form, but the magic still would not take. It did not envelop her in its cold embrace of the earth clinging to her skin and changed her form like it usually did. The feeling stayed under her skin, going nowhere.

“No…” she whispered to herself. “No, no, no…”

That was the purpose of the collar. To keep her in her own form. She panicked. She paced around the room. She was missing something, but what? He had not taken her magic from her, or she would not be able to even enter transformation. The collar simply stopped the final step.

She tried turning into an owlbear instead. No luck. She tried panther, deep rothe, bear, sabre-toothed tiger, badger…No luck. Then she wondered if it could possibly have something to do with the size.

She finally tried something smaller: a cat. She finally felt the magic envelop her skin and change her form. She felt herself grow smaller and she was then standing in her furry little form on the floor. She felt some relief that it had worked and hoped for a second that she might be able to slip out of the collar, but the size of it had simply adjusted to her form. She let out a frustrated hiss.

It was something that not all of her forms had been taken from her, but she could hardly tear Raphael apart in the form of a cat. She tried the last couple of forms there were left. She could do a dire raven as well, but that was not particularly helpful either. She could not exactly fly away from the Hells. She hated feeling so helpless.

Later, the same servants from the day before came to dress her and usher her to where Raphael was. He was smiling widely at her when she entered, and his eyes went to admire the collar on her neck. She wanted nothing more than to throw an Ice Knife at his smug face, but she decided to keep the peace for now. She needed her powers back in full again.

She kept quiet as she sat down beside him, which only seemed to amuse him. She had nothing nice to say to him. She began eating with her hands as she always did.

“Ah-ah,” Raphael chided. “Fork and knife, dear.”

Her eye twitched but she kept quiet as she reluctantly dropped the food in her hands. She wiped her fingers in a napkin before grabbing the fork and knife. Her movements were clumsy when she tried to cut her meat. It had been a long time since she last had been forced to use utensils.

“Good girl,” Raphael praised in that degrading way of his. “You are quieter today. I take that you have figured out what that collar around your neck does?”

She continued ignoring him.

“I will take that as a yes then,” he said and then changed the subject. “The physician says that your fertility will be at its peak soon, so you can expect a visit from me in only a few days.”

“And you ask me to mind my table manners,” she said in a cold tone. “Don’t make me lose my appetite.”

“Oh, my apologies, dear,” he said. “I did not realize you were of such a delicate disposition. I simply mean to say that if you behave until then, I might be inclined to loosen my grip on your leash, so to speak.”

She gritted her teeth in annoyance and tried to reel back her temper.

“Will I be rid of this gods-awful collar?”

“No,” he answered. “I like it on you. It suits you. Though, I can allow you to change into whatever form you would like as long as you are on your best behavior.”

“’Allow me’…” she repeated and laughed bitterly under her breath. “Is this it then? I’m your little puppet now that you can do whatever you want to? I think I’d rather choose death if that offer is still on the table, actually.”

“Essentially, yes, you are,” he answered coldly. “And do not continue to make me repeat myself, Tav. It will not just be your death if you decide to go against me and even if it was, whatever I will put you through here will be nothing compared to the torments I will put you through after you are dead, and I get my hands on your soul. For your soul is still on the line, since you by technicality did not fulfill your contract. A technicality that I will only overlook if you do as I tell you.”

She shook her head and went quiet. She felt so hopeless. She wanted to laugh and cry and scream at the same time. She leaned back in her chair. She had barely eaten anything, but her appetite was gone.

“Can I go now?” she asked. “I am not hungry after all, it seems.”

“As you wish,” he said. “But first…”

He snapped his fingers and a vial of dark liquid appeared on the table. He took it and held it out to her.

“I will watch you drink this before you do,” he said while his orange eyes bore into hers. “A servant will bring it to you tomorrow and every day after that. They are under orders to force it down your throat if you refuse.”

She looked from him to the vial with disdain.

“Am I allowed to ask His Grace what this is?” she asked.

Raphael smiled slightly and his eyes narrowed at her.

“That cheek will get you nowhere,” he warned. “It’s a vial containing numerous things to ready your body for its purpose. I am not trying to poison you. I am trying to help you. Spare you even.”

“Spare me?” she asked bitterly.

“If I disgust you as much as you pretend, would you not find it helpful that we only have to attempt to get you with child a handful of times before we see results, instead of waiting for months?”

She looked at him and then at the vial. She sighed softly and took it from his hands. She took off the cork and smelled its contents. It had a smell that was all too sweet like fruit that was just past its ripeness. She looked at him again.

“There would be little sense in poisoning you,” he reassured her. “Now drink.”

She looked at the vial once more before downing its contents.

[petarabbit2]

Realistic Deuce Spade + Headcanons

Deuce Spade + Realistic artwork done with Art Breeder and edited in Clip Art Studio:

Ready to meet the goodest boy? I am. (always)

Sidenote: When headcanoning Deuce and all my other characters I take both factual and some of my personal thoughts/beliefs of the character to construct my headcanons.

Back to my rendition, I didn't give deuce any flaws necessarily (moles, acne, freckles, etc.) since I can not picture deuce with bad skin and he just seems like he tries to keep himself tidy and neat after being accepted into NRC. (Even if he did have a bit, after his change in behaviour he would try to fix it to again look more tidy and put together).

However, it's not shown in the art since it's not to that level of detail but he has a couple of past holes in his ears from piercings and he has a reverse tramp stamp above his yk yk from his rebellious days. How’d he got it without being of age? Idk really but probs a fake ID or something. Anyways it's just a simple design I chose from pinterest which i'll draw him with someday but it's basically just a spikey sorta design?? Idk how to describe it.

I also made this deuce half asian, Japanese to be precise, as I have seen a lot of people headcanon it, plus it makes sense to the extent that a sign of rebellion in Japanese households is dying hair which deuce mentions he did back in middle school.

For his features, Deuce has hooded eyes, a bit thinner and higher eyebrows, a straight nose that is upturned at the end, sorta longer eyelashes and an upside down triangle face shape, most of this is taken from his character model but taking some liberties to make the cast more diverse in terms of appearance.

For his body its a trapezoid shape so wider shoulders and a smaller waist, however he has pretty muscular legs (from track and field) and I’m caking my boy up 🫡. He has just regular size hands and feet but slightly longer fingers.

Aw yes, another slight british accent, sorry not sorry 🤭 – used to use heavy slang but stopped after getting accepted into NRC but it slips out here and there.

Without & With Face Makeup:

Personality and backstory headcanons + a bit of character analysis:

Deuce, like Ace, is one of the first characters/friends we meet in the game, he is presumed to be a very sensible and hardworking student (which he does try very hard to be) but always ends up getting himself into trouble. We later learn of his past as a delinquent which we can connect to his still aggressive nature towards hostile people who threaten him or his friends. I haven't seen much extreme mischaracterisation of Deuce personally because he's an extremely hard character to mischarcterise as the game is very straight forward with his presentation and past.

But diving deeper into his character we can discover why he's the way he is. Its cannon that his parents are split with his father completely out of the picture, and we never hear of a grandfather (maybe due to another divorce or death) so he grew up around all women which in theory is great for a boy since they learn all about how exactly to care for them but can also be straining.

Even if Deuce loved his mother and vice versa, he still would have wanted a father figure, which could be why he became a delinquent. Obviously the other delinquents were either kids of his age or a bit older which were the only ones in his eyes that could maybe fill in that role as a father figure. I know it's canon he became a delinquent because of his slow learning, feeling the need to just not try at all but subconsciously, it could have meant more to him.

When he heard his mother on the phone crying about if she's raising him wrong, if she’s a bad mother, etc. it made Deuce realise what he's been doing, that he's been taking the easy way out of things. Even though he probably didn't (and still to this day) realise he was hanging around the older delinquents because he saw them as potential father figures. (help my boy plsssssssss)

We all already know Deuce is a big mama's boy, not the sharpest tool in the shed and can have a bit of a temper when provoked, I believe Deuce is also emotionally aware of his friends. Women are known to be the more emotionally aware and supportive gender stereotype, and with Deuce only being around them he must've found his foreground (we using the big english essay words) on being able to see when someone is upset and/or mad at him or something. Even though he may be able to see it he might be a bit awkward with the comfort as again, he's still an awkward teen. 

With deep conversations, he will try his absolute best to understand and will ask questions to further his knowledge on the topic even though he might not completely get it. He would never try to avoid or show immediate distaste for these conversations because he feels he really gets to know the type of person you are based on them (Ace learn something from Deuce). 

Deuce appreciates quality time with friends alot, and especially appreciates people he knows are there for him as well as those who he knows he could tell anything to and would never be judged. He probably had to fake things about his childhood and personality to his old delinquent friends and never really realised it until he got real supportive friends like Ace, Grim and Yuu.

My editor/assistant cause I can’t grammar or spell to save my life: @cyb3rpnnk 

SIDENOTE: DO NOT REPOST MY REALISTIC RENDITION OF DEUCE OR ANY OTHER CHARACTER I DO AS YOUR OWN. EVEN THOUGH THE BASE WAS MADE WITH AI IT IS STILL MY CREATION!

However you are permitied to use my headcanoing as your own for art or stories or whatever, just not my realistic rendition.

Also if you want realistic dating headcanons with the cast please leave a comment and I might do it! Btw if I do, these headcanons will be based on my normal headcanons of the characters.

[eowynstwin]

NSFW Alphabet — John “Soap” MacTavish

I know there’s one or two of these floating around already, but honestly there always needs to be more Soap.

Pairing: Johnny “Soap” MacTavish x AFAB Reader

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: None

Now on AO3!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

The thing about Johnny that you will notice very, very quickly, once you begin sleeping together, is this: he falls in love just a little bit more with you every. Single. Time. It’s obvious, and it can even get nauseating, if you’re not an especially affectionate person, but it’s hard to truly be annoyed at the way he grins at you after, glowing with sweat like a Greek god and looking at you like he found the stars in your eyes. “I always think it couldn’t get any better,” he’s said to you more than once, “and I’m always wrong, hen.”

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself, It’s a tie between his mohawk (of course it counts! he would insist) and his arms. He knows he’s in great shape, and he knows he stands out, and that’s exactly the way he likes it. It caught your attention, didn’t it? When it comes to your body, though, it’s hands down your thighs. And your ass. Your legs are great, too, and what kind of a man would he be if he didn’t mention those tits? Suffice to say, whatever part of you he has his hands on at that moment is his favorite part.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Remember that thing about Johnny being in great shape? Yeah, it means when he comes, he comes. It will surprise you more than once, how much volume he can produce. What’s more, he’s got a short refractory period before he’s absolutely ready to go again, so you get used to getting messy pretty quick. And oh, does he like you messy.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s not a habitual panty thief, but…when he knows you’re going to be separated for a long time, somehow a pair from the laundry makes it into his pocket. When he finds a rare moment alone with only himself, his hand, and his cock, he can finish in minutes with the scent of you pressed up against his nose. It isn’t nearly as good as having his face buried in your pussy, but for a quick moment, it’s enough.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Soap’s got experience in spades. He’s always had an easy confidence that has drawn people into his orbit, and sex has always been a positive outlet for him. Regardless of how any relationship or liaison has ended, no one is really ever able to complain about his enthusiasm in the bedroom. Or against a wall. Or over a desk. Or…

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Any position that has you pressed up against as much of his body as possible belongs to his list of favorites. He doesn’t know the vocabulary, doesn’t really care what’s vanilla or what’s kink—he just wants to feel you, and feel the way he makes you feel. He’ll wrap himself around you almost like a blanket, and treat any empty space between you like it’s free real estate.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous?)

Johnny loves to keep it light, loves when there’s smiling and laughter in his bed. He especially loves making you laugh while he has his mouth between your thighs, because hearing a giggle cut off with a sharp gasp or a long, drawn out “ohhh” as he drags the wedge of his tongue through your folds makes him ache so, so good. Sometimes, though, when an op has gone wrong, or too many people have gotten hurt, it’s intense, and desperately passionate, and his penchant for holding you close becomes a death grip. Both can and have happened in your shared bedroom.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)

He doesn’t have much time or care for shaving, but honestly, it would be a shame if he did. He is delightfully hairy, his chest soft and downy with the stuff, and a downright beautiful happy trail leading to gorgeous curls that frame the base of his cock. And for the record, he’s got zero issue with your body hair, too.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

Tooth-rottingly romantic. You’ve accused him of it several times. Johnny likes fucking, a lot, and inevitably it will feel like making love. He doesn’t use rose petals or candles, or even many words—but he spreads his hands out against your skin, touches and strokes you like it helps him breathe. That, and he won’t. Stop. Kissing you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Sometimes his hand is all he has, but if you’re within driving distance he can wait. If you’re not, he tries to grip his cock as tightly as your pussy does, tries to fuck himself with his hand as thoroughly as he fucks you. That is, as long as no one can walk in and interrupt him. (Poor Gaz. The guy might never recover.)

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He really, really likes the idea of you all tied up and at his mercy. Johnny isn’t a sadist, but having cart blanche to do whatever he wants and you can’t push him away? If you let him do it, you’ll realize somewhere after your third orgasm, when the pleasure has just started to sting a bit, that he’s really only getting started.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

A bed is always nice, but Soap isn’t picky, and a bed isn’t always available. Standing, having you up against a wall with only your legs wrapped around his waist to keep yourself up as he drills his hips up into you is never going to lose its charm. Also, he’s really torn on what, geographically, he prefers. A warm climate has you both hot, slippery with sweat, and a little freer to kick the covers off of the bed, but a cold climate means you’re burrowing as much into him as he is into you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

When it’s you, it’s everything, but some things stand out: a satisfied smile, a confident attitude, a certain way you toss your hair, and he wants you NOW. That isn’t to say he doesn’t like when you make an effort to be sexy, when you clean up and wear something that really flatters your body—that stuff definitely does it for him. It just ends up being the little things that are the most inspiring.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Johnny doesn’t like tears, and he doesn’t want to drag them out of you in bed, the ONLY exception being if they’re happy ones. Nor does he want guns, knives, or any other weapon in his bedroom. And while he likes messing you up with his sweat and his saliva and his semen, those are the only bodily materials of his that he wants anywhere near you.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill)

Johnny. Has. An. Oral. FIXATION. It would be extremely accurate to call it an obsession. He’d eat you out breakfast, lunch, and dinner if you’d let him, and always, always has his mouth on you somewhere when you’re having sex. He likes getting blown as much as anyone would, but he knows how to make your toes curl and your hands fist the sheets using only his lips, teeth, and tongue, and there’s no feeling like that in the world.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

Given the opportunity, Soap likes to take his time. Sex, after all, has always been a comfort for him, has always been worth savoring, and when it’s with you? You’re going to be in bed for a long time. As for tempo—he knows when to slow down, when to drag out a feeling so you both can luxuriate in it, but he also knows that sometimes you both just need him to pound the breath out of you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies are not Johnny’s favorite, but he isn’t opposed to them per se. Really, they’re an appetizer for him, so expect him to steal you away at the first available moment to finish what he feels only just got started. Sometimes though, there are no available moments, and he’s been left cranky and wanting for you on more than one occasion.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

“Define risk,” he would say, because his job involves a truly staggering amount of it. He isn’t going to fuck you in an active war zone. He isn’t going to fuck you in the lull of a firefight. But a broom closet? Over Price’s desk? If he has the chance, he’ll take it, as long as you’re game. It’s all a part of the fun.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Oh, Johnny. He’s in excellent shape, remember? Three or four rounds in one go is almost the norm for him, but he’ll tell you every time that it’s all you. You make him crazy, and he can’t help it that the way you shudder and shake in his arms only makes him harder. Johnny is the kind of man whose arousal is both spontaneous and responsive; when he wants you, he wants you, but if you’re as keen as he is, the feedback loop is insane.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or on themself?)

Johnny tried a cock ring for the first time in maybe his second steady relationship? And to this day it’s been his favorite toy. It doesn’t show up too often in the bedroom, messing with his dick too much is something he’s extremely conscientious about, but when he takes it out you need to be prepared for something that is going to leave you unable to walk.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s a giver, through and through, but he also knows delayed gratification can make a climax that much bigger. “Do you need it yet, hen?” he’ll croon, hips rolling into yours, cock stuffed inside you to the hilt. “Do you need me to let you come?” Honestly, he’s a little too cocky about how well he can wind you up.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

Soap doesn’t know how to shut up. He is embarrassed by absolutely none of the sounds that make it out of his mouth, not the deep, throaty groans or the higher-pitched, rapid pants he makes when he’s about to come apart. He’s very insistent, too, that you make as much noise for him as you’re moved to—your joined voices are just another one of those things that keeps him going.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He’s considered, on more than one occasion, for many years now, getting a couple of Dydoe piercings. He’s this close to getting them. The only thing that stops him is the aforementioned concern for messing with his dick too much, but he also probably hasn’t figured out yet that he can just google if piercings will make it difficult for him to get and stay hard. And lucky you, you get to be the one to point that out.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Soap’s length is quite nice, just about 6” fully erect, but his girth is what’s most exciting. He’s thick, and thickest at the middle, with a couple of prominent veins that he really likes you to trace with your tongue or the tips of your fingers. As mentioned earlier, his pubic hair is very pretty, dark and curly and neither too sparse nor too thick. Don’t tell him how much you like his dick too often. He likes it too much already.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

If it’s on offer, he’d like sex at least once a day. There is nothing like sinking into your body that can relax and center him quite the same way. Soap loves holding you, loves touching you, loves hearing your voice and loves feeling your body move, and can’t seem to ever get enough.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Don’t judge him too much. After all, he’s just worked very, very hard for you. You both have just enough time to mop up with a clean towel before he’s out, but he looks at you with big glittering eyes every time he lays back down, and you know he wants you to stay, to fall asleep right beside him. If you’re not sleepy (although honestly, how wouldn’t you be), he still wants you next to him, and in the middle of a book or some fluffy YouTubing or whatever it is you do afterwords, he always reaches for you. Always. Sex with Johnny means he falls in love with you a little bit more every time, and Johnny’s love wants to hold you close as much as he can.

[queer-ragnelle]

random question! do you have any recommendations for any Arthurian/knight related horror/vaguely spooky movies?

(i apologize if you have a post like this already, tumblr's lack of functional search engine is really something)

Hello!

The only Arthurian movie with horror elements throughout would be The Green Knight (2021). From the outset the entire film is shot very dark, the score is eerie and haunting, the color scheme of green life/rot and red blood plays into the horror as well. There's the obvious violence of the beheading of the Green Knight, but even before that, Morgan's spell and the possession of Guinevere to read the Green Knight's letter are pretty scary! One of my favorite scenes in the whole film. Later, Gawain is captured by scavenger bandits and left for dead, he meets a dead woman and retrieves her severed head, and immediately following his consumption of some mushrooms, he hallucinates moss growing on his hands, and then everything from that moment onward gets a little freaky for him. ;^)))))

Next best example would be Excalibur (1981), specifically the Grail Quest portion. It's a solid 20 minutes of non-stop psychological (and occasionally physical) torture. Arthur is the Fisher King here and rotting away, along with his land and people. Percival and all the knights venture out for what appears to be close to 20 years, as Mordred grows to manhood during this time. Percival is slowly debilitated from cold and hunger, assaulted by angry townspeople, psychologically tortured by Morgan with visions of his dead comrades, hung from a tree and left for dead, and even cosmically harassed by a glowing entity bombarding him with questions. There's also one scene in which Lancelot has a nightmare in which he fights his own suit of armor ("himself") which ends with a self-inflicted injury that never heals for the duration of the film, an allegory for his shame. Insanely good stuff.

After that I would suggest Starz Camelot (2011), which is a show. This has aspects of it I would definitely consider horror or at the least spooky. Morgan's storyline especially as she tries to gather magical power to herself and incurs the wrath of some demons. Morgan is also able to shape shift into other people and it's shot like a grotesque and painful experience which results in blood seeping from her eyes, nose, and mouth. Likewise Merlin deals with these same setbacks while using magic and is haunted by the people he's killed which drives him to madness at one point. Stepping away from the supernatural, the deaths in this show are especially gruesome, somewhat like Excalibur as well, but more of them with the longer run time. There's a scene with a character drawing themselves along a spear to finish their opponent (like Mordred at Camlann), beheadings, even a torture scene with a guy impaled on a stake and unable to flee while [redacted] continues to wound him in non-lethal ways to draw information out of him. So a lot to work with here!

The only other option I can think of is a bit of a stretch, but that's Merlin and The Sword (1985). The Knight of the Cart is adapted here, except that Guinevere is taken to the other world which can only be entered by magical means. Lancelot and Gawain venture there to try and rescue her and come across many corpses and skeletons along the way, which they joke about (they're so normal) but ultimately split up and deal with trials along the way. It has an element of unreality to it, as no one is said to return from there, and the fay rules challenge their every move. Lancelot also brutally murders people along the way including choking a guy with the bar of a spear, lifting his feet off the ground while holding the man to his chest. It's overall pretty camp, but if hopeless quests into other worlds is your thing, that movie has it in spades.

Tragically, that's all I got for you. We need more Arthurian horror! Thanks for the ask, I hope this helps.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Sisyphean (6/6)

(Eldritch!Ace Trappola vs SomeGuy!Deuce Spade. Horror AU heavily based on FROM(2022) and That's Not My Neighbor.)

Sisyphean Masterlist

Deuce jumped just slightly when he heard a knock. He hadn’t heard anyone coming –.

The Doppelganger was standing at the door, smiling at him through the glass, its hands behind its back, looking like the picture of innocence.

Save for, of course, the sharp-toothed smile.

“No,” Deuce said, scowling. “Absolutely not.”

“You’re so cold, you’re gonna hurt a fella’s feelings one day,” it complained.

“Good,” he said flatly.

It huffed. “You try and kill an entire building’s worth of people a few times, and suddenly you’re the bad guy!”

“That is how it works, yes.” Deuce rolled his eyes. “Why are you even here?”

“I stop by all the time! What do you mean?” it said, giving its most innocent smile.

“Yeah, but you haven’t come as… yourself all the other times.”

“But I’m so tired these days,” he lamented, its expression shifting into a little pout. “I’m hungry, and shifting forms all the time is hard.”

Deuce pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperated. How could this thing be so scary half the time and so lame the other half of the time? “Well, I can’t let you in. You don’t live in this building, and we have a strict no-guest policy. As I’m sure you know, since you’ve never tried posing as someone’s friend to get inside.”

“Yeah…” it sulked. And then it brightened up, finally taking its hands out from behind its back, to reveal a… cup of coffee. “Well, I can still give you this!”

Beep.

Deuce stared, blankly, at the cup of coffee sitting in his mail slot. It had Deuce’s name on it, of course, as well as a couple of tiny hearts doodled on the wrapper.

“... what’s with you and hearts?” Deuce asked, because after the pillow, the cake, and this, he might as well ask why it was Ace’s calling card.

It shrugged, smiling. “I just think they’re kinda funny shapes! I mean, human hearts do not look like that… unless you really need glasses, I guess, but at that point pretty much everything looks like those fake hearts.”

That… checks out, yeah.

Deuce sighed, picking up the cup of coffee, spinning the cup, slowly, in careful fingers, half expecting it to blow up… somehow. “It makes it seem like you’re trying to come onto me.”

“And if I was?” It said, batting its eyelashes.

“No guests in the hotel,” Deuce said, flatly.

“Ugh. You’re no fun.”

“Sorry that getting ripped to shreds isn’t my idea of fun.”

“Like I said. No fun.”

It seemed, though, that he was going to be having even less fun, because, at that moment, a new person showed up. They looked a lot like Ace, with the same bright red hair and eyes, but stockier and dressed in a button down and slacks, as if he had just come from a shift at work. He flung his arm around Ace’s shoulders, leaning his weight on him with a wide grin.

“Is this the Doorman you’ve been obsessed with?” He peered at Deuce, tapping his finger on his chin. “He doesn’t look like much.”

It was hard to tell who was more offended by the man’s statement – Deuce or Ace.

“‘Obsessed’ is not the right word,” Ace snapped at the same time Deuce said, “Ex-fucking-scuse me?”

He continued to smile at him, completely unperturbed. “I’m sorry about Ace, I know he’s a lot to handle, thanks for dealing with him.”

The Doppelganger looked mortified, pressing its face into its hands.

Doppelgangers might not have families, not in the way that humans might, but Deuce could spot an ‘older brother’ type from a mile away.

Though that begged the question… was the man (if it was even actually human) aware of what ‘Ace’ was? It hit Deuce that it was entirely possible that Doppelgangers got their names and reputations for a reason – that they might not be homeless at all, that they might take the place of a real-life person and sneak their way into their families, pretending to be functioning members of society for years and years. That, perhaps, there was a reason why they were never spotted during the day.

Deuce gave Ace a wide-eyed look. “Does he know…?”

It was the man who responded, though, by laughing and sticking out his tongue at Deuce.

It was a black tentacle.

A wave of relief rolled over him.

Until the monster said, “Well, now that that’s all done, come on, Ace, we have to go. Mom and Dad are waiting for us, and if you’re late again they’re going to be so pissed.”

A wave of terror washed over Deuce. Because here Ace was, with a clear ‘older brother’, talking about meeting up with their ‘parents’. And he suspected that Ace hadn’t been lying when he’d said that, no, Doppelgangers don’t really have families, because it was such a strange thing to lie about, and its disgust at the way humans worked was genuine.

Ace groaned, running his hand through his hair. “One day I’m going to snap and kill everyone in that damn church, why do sermons have to be so long?”

His brother laughed, reaching out a hand to attempt to smooth down Ace’s now-messy hair, and Deuce could only stare at them, because they seemed like just any other pair of brothers, laughing and joking around and complaining about dumb things they didn’t actually care about… while also talking about murder in the same tone Deuce talked about the weather.

Ace sighed and waved at Deuce. “See ya later.”

“I hope not,” Deuce said, more out of instinct than anything.

Ace’s brother laughed. “Oh, I take it back, I like him.”

Ace grumbled under his breath, suddenly seeming very eager to get to church on time.

~

Deuce, hesitantly, took the lid off of the coffee to squint at the dark liquid. It looked normal… and, after a quick sniff test, he determined that it smelled fine, too. But, then again, so had the cake the Doppelganger had brought over, so…

He took a careful sip.

It was normal coffee.

More than that, it tasted good. Deuce didn’t even know how he took his own coffee, he usually just added sugar to taste and then dealt with it if it ended up too sweet. But this was nice.

That stalker… he thought, annoyed, but also a touch fond.

Only for his blood to run cold despite the caffeine entering his veins.

Because when had he started growing fond of Ace?

When had he started calling him ‘Ace’ at all? Stopped thinking of him as an ‘it’?

What if I think becoming ‘friendly’ with you is the way in?

Deuce marched to the bathroom, intent on pouring the coffee straight into the sink. It was tailor-made to his preferences, yes, but he couldn’t stand what it represented.

But it was good coffee, and a gift, and his mom had always taught him that wasting food was wrong…

He went back to his seat and set the coffee on his desk, wondering if he would even be able to drink it past the bile creeping up the back of his throat.

~

Cater collected the ID from him, before heading off toward the elevator.

“Appreciate you, Deuce,” Cater called over his shoulder.

Deuce waved him off, absently. It was his job, after all, he hardly deserved thanks for doing it.

Deuce went back to the computer, reaching for his coffee cup.

He paused.

His hand had something red and flaky on it. He lifted it to his nose, expecting the smell of lipstick or something…

Only to find that it smelled metallic.

Coppery, even.

His head shot up, to ‘Cater’, already in the elevator, leaning against the back wall. He gave a little finger wave with red-caked fingertips. A wide smile stretched across his face.

And then continuing to stretch, showing off rows of sharp teeth and skin pulling into something that shouldn’t have been physically possible for a human to achieve.

Deuce ran for the elevator, his arm out to try and stop it, but the doors slid shut before he could get inside.

[malev0lent-entity]

Thought I'd take another crack at redesigning Husk since I didn't think too much about him when I drew the rest of the cast. This is a pretty major overhaul and my style is quite different from viv's so here's a rundown of the changes:

took his wings away. He's not an angel nor associated with heaven so feathered wings make no sense. I could swing leathery wings, but that would be pretty cluttered so perhaps they're retractable, turning him from an owl cat to a bat cat. He's got the ears for it.

made him more catlike, specifically basing him off a tuxedo maine coon. He's got long scraggly brown and grey fur. His face is more cat shaped, with a muzzle and cat mouth rather than the standard big sharky grin. also, whiskers. Gave him standard furry paws rather than those weird spindly fingers.

toned down his card symbols. they're still there, but more subtle. his nose and ears are hearts, his facial making is an upside down spade, his chest marking is a club, and his suspender clips are diamonds.

overall made him actually look like a 60 year old alcoholic. He's fat, his fur's greying/rusty, his club pattern also acts as a grey goatee, and his mane resembles a receding hairline. Just a guy who's been worn down by life.

gave him a shirt and an undone bowtie. Vaggie can enforce the uniform policy for employees, but she can't make him put effort into it.

[chapel-of-rizztual]

Favorite headcanon for every ghoul! Go!

Mountain

obviously I’m a big advocate for puppy mountain 

Had a plant for each of the ghouls. 

Can grow flower and herbs in his hair. Grows mushrooms when he’s stressed

one of the best cooks. 

One of two ghouls that can drive.

Early riser, rises with the sun.

Ridiculously tall. Always hitting his head don door frames.

Big lover of kissing.

Favourite colour is green.

Loves reading poetry

Vegetarian

Ram horns

Collects bug and insects

Spider catcher of the ghouls.

Joins the girls for girls night

Rain

webbing between his finger and toes

Gills on his neck and ribs

Chronic biscuit maker.

Worst chef. Can’t even make cereal

Presses the flowers Mountain grows into books.

Big sweet tooth

Will only wear crop tops. Even in the winter.

Cold to the touch

Scales on his arms and back

Bellybutton piercing. It’s a little sparkly raindrop that Dew got him for Christmas.

Night owl

Super clumsy

Slightly slimy skin

Loves the aquarium

Dewdrop

 Kitty

has scars where his gills use to be

Blue eyes from being a water ghoul

Early riser with Mountain. They like to cuddle on the sofa together while eating breakfast

Obsessed with dinosaurs

Hot to the touch

Good chef

Sucks the spade of his tail

Scared of the dark. Can’t sleep without Aether

Loves baking with Cumulus

Gets used as a heater in the winter

Likes sleeping in the fireplace

Can explode lightbulbs if he sneezes

Calls cereal ‘boy kibble’

Can play drums

Unhealthily obsessed with milk.

Pescatarian

Swiss

Loves getting stoned with Mountain

Just dance champion. Seriously no one can beat him

Horrendous chef. Don’t even let him look at the kitchen

Is the reason salt lamps are banned from the den

Hawaiian shirt wearer

Paints his claws

Has an extensive skincare routine

Crazy strong. Can lift Dew and Rain up together

Steals the fluffy blankets from cirrus’ bed

Crooked fangs

Hates sleeping alone

Greek mythology obsession

Two tongues

Phantom

also puppy

Sleeps with a stuffed rabbit. Seriously can’t sleep without it

Loves hiking and being outdoors. Spends a lot of time in the greenhouse with Mountain

Loves worms

His quintessence is more focused on orthopaedics

Cries at anything

Loves cocktails

Scar on his cheek from when he was summoned

Also Sucks the spade of his tail

Cow-like ears

White strip in his hair

Always wears glittery eyeshadow

Obsessed with cats. Can’t see a cat in the street without stopping

Aether

Dad? No, mother

Also a Hawaiian shirt wearer. Him and Swiss share

Nurse at the abbey infirmary

Carries Dew and Phantom around like kits

Second ghoul that can drive

Red Mohawk

Nose, lip and tongue piercing

Vinyl collection

Best collection of hoodies. Will let anyone wear them

Loves fruit

Paints

Bonded with Copias rats

Can’t ride a bike

Cirrus

daddy

Wears rings

Buff af

She/her/he/him

Goes to the gym with Swiss and Aether

Mechanic. Can fix anything

Good chef

Big top little pants

Makes fun of Aether for not knowing how to ride a bike.

Clothes stealer

Really sharp fangs

Made a Battle jacket

Wine drinker

Flexible

Cumulus

literal Barbie girl

Sims player

Loves all games is so good cod

Whiskey enjoyer

Country music lover

Favourite colour is pink

Crazy curly hair

Has deep stretch marks on her belly. Swiss like to put edible glitter on them and lick it off

Gap in her front teeth

Steals cirrus’ battle jacket

Loves Valentine’s Day

Fluffy tail

Has feathers on her arms and thighs

Sunshine

Literal ball of sunshine

Has a Christmas tree in her room all year around

Should wear glasses but doesn’t

Mountain always grows sunflowers for her

Gold jewellery wearer

Super freckly

Has one yellow and one orange eye

Good at photography

Has a cat hidden in her room

Stayed at the abbey instead of touring because she was working in the nursery and fell in love with the kids

Aurora

kitty

vitiligo

Purrs the loudest

Literal princess. Always gets her way

Obsessed with space and the stars

Loves horror movies

Coffee snob

Can sleep anywhere

Scared of flying

Very good baker

Wears heart shaped sunglasses

[a-tear-in-the-veil]

[Five Days Before the Nautiloid Abduction]

Astarion x Tav

Rating: PG-13? (ALSO, no spoilers)

AO3

Edited by @asaara-writes (thank you <3333)

Astarion is out, collecting another victim for Cazador when he has a chance meeting with someone he doesn't know yet, but will know soon enough *doomed by the narrative noises*.

Astarion scanned the hull. Tavern, technically speaking, but how anyone allowed that to happen is beyond him.

He sipped his shitty wine, and tried not to choke on the sweltering smell of the boat. Years of bodily fluids and cheap alcohol stained the wood. Astarion could count each distinct atrocity on his fingers. The amount of people crammed into this tavern made the air humid, and sticky. His target certainly liked to slum it.

At least it distracted him from the scent of blood. Mostly. His stomach twisted in on itself.

Boisterous music competed with drunken stupor. Scantily clad barmaids roamed the room, offering drinks among other services. Gambling chips clattered on tables and brass mugs clinked. Here patrons drowned their sorrows with alcohol and poor decisions, if only temporarily.

Except for Astarion. And perhaps that Goliath in the corner; he was sobbing into his dinner.

Astarion swirled his wine and refocused his attention to the reason he was in this filthy tavern. The noble’s son sat a few tables in front of him with some friends. The two other upper-crusts ogled the women. They got a little handsy when any strayed too close.

The noble’s son nursed a drink, throwing in forced laughter at the lewd behavior. His eyes strayed to Astarion more than once now. Poor bastard never stood a chance. Well, no one did in the end. Especially not if Cazador wanted them.

The noble’s son excused himself from the table, opting to get a refill from the bar rather than call over someone for his friends to torment.

Finally, Astarion thought. An opening. Time to get this over with.

He stomached the rest of the wine. As he rose out of his chair, a small, hooded figure ran straight into him. Heat flashed across the back of Astarion’s neck. This place was trying his patience.

“Watch where you’re going-” Astarion started. Then the smell hit him. Intoxicating. Like a bee drawn to the sweet scent of a flower. It drained all the noise from the room. His mouth watered. He never smelled anyone like this.

“Watch where you stand!” She snapped back.

Astarion caught a glance at her profile. Brief glance. Light, pastel blue skin. Dark turquoise hair. Freckles ran across her nose, and she pierced him with her eyes. Molten amber eyes.

He stammered as she stalked off and disappeared into the crowd. But Gods, he could smell the trail she left. He hated to admit it, but it left him a little stunned.

The rest happened so fast.

She climbed up on a table. The music changed. The cloak fell around her ankles, and the crowd erupted into cheers.

Astarion’s mouth went dry. His head spun just from the smell of her, and her face made him linger, if only temporarily. He was glad that Cazador had a more specific target in mind this time, because what a waste she’d be on him. Astarion drank her in, and wondered how she’d taste.

Red silk contoured her body. The color was striking against the contrast of her skin. Back to the audience, she beat a tambourine in rhythm on her hip.

Without the cloak, her tail and horns were visible. Tiefling. Her tail ended in a spade shape with a cute little ribbon tied around the base. Her horns curled around her head and slightly outwards. The freckles kissed the top of her shoulders too.

She twirled to face the crowd. Her skirt flared around her, and a slit that traced the length of her leg, all the way up her thigh, revealed itself.

One of the noble’s friends climbed on the table to get a handful. She smacked him square in the face with the tambourine. He recoiled and tripped over a strategically placed tail right off the table, which elicited an even louder round of cheers.

There was a transfer of magic between the two. Astarion barely caught it himself. She didn’t have to utter a single incantation or perform any special somatics. The pig laid rigid on the floor. Not dead, unfortunately for any woman who breathed in his direction. Just paralyzed. Granted, it was still hilarious.

Guards rushed into the hull. Not Flaming Fists, yet, just hired security. Their presence only added to the spectacle.

The Tiefling leapt from table to table, dancing and spinning out of their reach as they dove for her ankles. Then the crowd started to get in on it, intentionally blocking the guards’ path. When she had a moment of reprieve from the chase, she flicked out a leg into a turn. The music slowed. Every other beat was accented, and the crowd clapped along. It was like she played the instruments with the movement of her body. They were perfectly synced.

She dragged one hand across an outstretched arm, across her chest, until the opposite arm was extended. She repeated the movement then dipped into a back-bend. Everything she did was slow, deliberate, and pointed. It was a dare. Waving a red flag in front of the proverbial bull.

The guards busted through the humanoid blockage. The music accelerated again, and she pulled red handkerchiefs from her bust. The crowd went wild as she waved the fabric in the guards’ faces and twirled from tabletop to tabletop.

Astarion couldn’t help but smile. When was the last time he did that? Genuinely? Clever little tief.

Something moved in the periphery of his vision. Two people snuck out from a backroom. The guards didn’t even turn around, too preoccupied trying to restore order to the tavern. One of them pulled out a short copper wire. They pointed at the dancing Tiefling and muttered something. There was too much of a ruckus for Astarion to hear what they were saying.

It dawned on him. This wasn’t just a prank, it was a heist. The Tiefling was the distraction. Very clever little tief, and a very effective distraction, Astarion thought, giving her another admiring look over.

She was prancing on the bar now. She swiped a bottle and took a swig before sliding into splits as the song finished. The exasperated guards finally got to her, and pulled her off the bar-top. She had one guard per arm, holding her firmly.

The Tiefling half raised her arms in triumph, or as much as she could while she was being apprehended. The entire room was on their feet, cheering.

Silvery mist seeped from the floorboards, and encased the Tiefling. Then she was gone. The guards looked aghast. They stared dumbly where she once stood. A loud whistle sounded from the other side of the room. The crowd roared even louder.

She was on the stairs leading to the deck.

She had done it again. Cast magic out of thin air. Useful trick that must be.

“Thank you for sharing that dance with me!” she hollered to the guards.

She blew a kiss and turned on her heels, away and soon out of sight.

Astarion took a step towards the stairs after her, but that step was as far as he got. His body seized, wouldn’t allow another step. His fate was sealed.

“Excuse me?”

Astarion whirled around. The noble’s son was there with two drinks in hand. Wine. Lovely.

“Would you care to join me for a drink?” And the noble’s son’s fate was sealed too.

Astarion accepted the drink with a gracious smile and half bow. He followed the noble's son, obediently, to another table.

It was going to be a long night. An even longer eternity thanks to Cazador.

Her scent still lingered just a bit longer. He hoped that he would never see her again.

[silversupremacy]

Small tutorial on how you design your critters?? You're a inspiration to me I must learn- And, if you want, tutorial on how you draw limbs?

God ok so that's sooo broad that I'm gonna try to sum it up but if you have additional questions feel free to ask I love answering stuff!

So first tutorial on limbs I did in the past here!

This is specifically furry hind legs. And additionally here's my tutorial on paws

If you want a more detailed tutorial, or an arm/front leg tutorial, or specific materials/more species let me know!

OK AN D now how I design object-creatures

I'm assuming you meant object creatures and not just all my creatures, cause I design a lot of little guys.

So I usually have four-ish things I go for in a design depending on the chara-

First is just taking x thing from the object they are and just accenting it. For example, Pepper's tail and ears are Peppercorn plant.

And OJ has that straw tail

So these features aren't really there because they're based on an animal. They're just there cause "orange juice drink, oh maybe they would have a straw tail"

Two, using canon in my design, either through the character's personality, or something taken from the canon.

For example, Baseball in s2 has to tape his pickaxe to his leg to use it. So logically, he wouldn't have little hands to hold the pickaxe with, so that's why I went with hooves! Then from there, I had the idea that he could use his tail to deliver powerful kicks with his legs by leaning back on it (like a kangaroo)

Another example is Fan, he's shown to be able to glide in canon so a lot of people go with bird vibes for him!

Though alternatively, you could also be inspired by the Gliding Snake, the Draco Lizards, or Sugar Gliders! There's a whole bunch of gliding creatures.

And more of a personality thing would be how I give Nickel a little spade tail cause he's a little rat bastard (affectionate). He also has nimble little rat hands cause he's more crafty and sneaky.

Third thing, Including Spec Bio stuff and just neat concepts

This is kinda crossed with the "what would fit this object" thing. But notice that I gave Apple an apple blossom tail. Well then, I developed this idea that maybe the flower would release scents to convey how she feels. Like she might subconsciously release a scent her partner (cough cough marshmallow) finds pleasant in order to relax them. I got this idea from the theory that cats communicate a lot through scent, and it's kinda theorized that cats might release a scent around their human that makes them wanna be friends (with mixed results).

And here for example, Lifering is basically made for ocean life. The idea is that he has a heavy layer of blubber in the winter to keep him warm, and the only difference people would notice is that his 'nose' hole would be smaller. He also has ears that he can use to communicate using them as 'flags' and a tail that he can use to light up in morse code. So basically he's perfect for ocean rescue.

Fourth thing, it just looks cool so why not do it. Clover didn't have a ton of traits go into her design beyond the Clover Flower tail, but she's just kinda nice to look at. Ultimately 99% of her body shape is just cause it's a good design.

And additionally, a lot of my creatures are made from just my vague and rough knowledge of creatures. I have just read a lot of animal facts in my life and kinda just recall a lot of what I've read and seen.

So just having wide knowledge of animals on earth helps a lot! Another part of me making an object-creature is just going "what animal do they remind me of"

Oh and a misc note abt my creatures, I have very few rules but one of them I try to keep to is that they have three toes and four fingers (three fingers one thumb). Some leg only objects have four toes technically (three fingers one thumb) But the idea is connected to how animal life on earth is built roughly the same. Like how bats have five fingers, they just stretched out looong into wings. And cats have five fingers on their front paws but only four on their back, But there's evidence of ancestors having those five toes Im p sure.

It's a similar thing abt how we can find specific bones in birds similar to our own arm and leg bones. Just considering what the path of evolution of these objects is neat.

But since objects reproduce via. magic exclusively in my verse, I kinda just do whatever! It's the reason why traits kinda got jumbled up (ex. mammal with reptile traits) cause the use of magic kinda just scrambled things.

Uhm hope this helps??? let me know if you have more questions ig????

[asweetlovesong]

Decided to give myself a little art challenge and thats to take a group of three emojis and turn them into original characters!

I don't know if I'll use them for anything important but I love them already!!

So without further ado...

I will probably make more of them! They just fit on one sheet for the time being!

In the image it shows the emojis used to create them! And under the image I'd give a little talk as to how I came up with their design!

Jun Kang

Jun Kang was made using ♠🔥🐉, spades have meanings like intellect, death, military etc and I focused on the military aspect! The fire and dragon reminded me of Liu Kang (and even though both King Lao and Liu Kang are related to the great Kung Lao, this is probably only from Liu Kangs side) And maybe he was one of the earlier earthrealmers if Liu Kangs family to use fire powers.

He definitely has a different personality and everything other than some physical similarities to Liu Kang, like same length of hair and the same eyes. Sorta like two sides of a coin, Liu Kang is a monk meanwhile his ancestor Jun Kang is part of ancient China military (war and peace).

♠🔥🐉

Kamille Belanger

Kamille Belanger was made using 💋🔫✨, the gun reminded me of the Special Forces but not wanting to make a Cassie Cage 2.0, I decided to make her a member of the Black Dragons instead since they also use weapons. I was going for a femme fatale kinda vibe, complete baddie.

She might go heavy with the lip stick and mascara but you won't see if stain her skin as she beats up good guys and finish whatever job the Black Dragons gave her. I decided to make her Canadian and found a list of 100 top names in Quebec in the 90s, found Camille so I just change it to a K (because misspelling is kool beanz) and Belanger sounded cool next to Kamille. Also I gave her sparkle shape earrings! Because of the sparkle emoji!

Seriema

Seriema was made using 🎶💀🫁, it was a bit challenging thinking of a way to show lungs on the design as lung related stuff came to mind like asthma and lung cancer don't have much of a lookable effect so I decided to make her my first Chaosrealmer and make her have semi translusive semi mutilated skin above the chest up till her nose. Which shows part of her skeletal jaw, teeth, and bone, which helps with the second emoji which is skull.

For music I have her a lyre, it was the first handheld instrument I thought of, but I don't think she knows how to actually play it. Because "that would be a form of control over the instrument and we hate control here in Chaosrealm!" Or something like that. So just random string playing.

Saturn (aka Aragon)

Saturn was made using 🪐🎶🍇, when it came to him I knew I wanted to implement rings into their design so they were lots of jewelry. I decided to make him sorta a noble of high status in Edenia but is definitely not near prince level of highness, but he sure acts like it. A man that loves to drink wine, party, have luxurious things, and more. He knows he got a pretty face, but that's probably where the admiration for him ends, unless you admire his parties. He is definitely similar to Narcissus but not too into himself that he doesn't feel love for anyone, he'll definitely fall for someone for sure but so far every character I made is single and not too important in the world of Mortal Kombat.

And that's all of them!

I will probably do more, I just ran out of space on this single piece of paper. Suggestions are always welcomed!! If you want a trio of emojis (ex. 🔶🍫❤, ☕⬜🥀, 🤡🎉💥, etc) turned into a Mortal Kombat OC let me know! And if you want to try out this challenge go ahead! Just @ me so I can see your awesome creation!

Have a lovely day! ~💗

┊┊┊┊╭╯╭╯┊┊┊

┊╱▔╭╯╭╯▔╲┊┊

▕╲▂▂▂▂▂▂╱▏┊

┊▏┈╱╲╱╲┈▕━╮

┊▏┈╲┈┈╱┈▕┊┃

┊▏┈┈╲╱┈┈▕━╯

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[echantedtoon]

Kingkaard Oneshot

What makes a king a king? Most would say being descended from other royals or having the heart and bravery of a leader. Others might be blunt and say authority. And let’s be honest, all those statements are true in one shape or form. But right now he’d rather be anything else or more specifically somewhere else right now-

“I TOLD you we needed to spend more on the stupid dam if we wanted the river to flow near our peoples’ crops properly! But NO- You spend way too much time worrying on spending your dam jewels to even think about what could happen with low funding!”

The giant Rudinn King gasped and pressed a hand to his chest. “You’re one to talk! All you do is argue with yourself literally and fuss over that spoiled mutt of yours!”

A white head was shoved near his face. “Don’t. You. DARE. Call my precious little Clover that!”

He could feel another headache coming as the two fools continued to argue about this useless matter….And now the other heads are coming in. With a grunt of annoyance he lowered his head into his gloved hand to rub at his shadowed face. The only one who wasn’t being an annoying twat was the worried looking hathy sitting next to him, nervously glancing between the two bickering idiots. How anything got done around here was a miracle. It seems he’d have to take the reins on this stupid thing again.

“Just give him the dam money, Diamond,” he growled out. His brow twitched in annoyance.

The Rudinn gave the spade a treacherous look. “Like Light I will! This is a matter that needs to be dealt with-

"I agree. So pay up!”

“Like I would do such a thing after that insult!

He sunk down into his hand further. This was going to be a while, which wasn’t good at all. These idiots better figure it out soon before he lost it again. The yelling only seemed to get louder as the seconds ticked past and his other hand slowly tapped against the wooden surface of the table in a failed attempt to distract himself from the bickering. The hathy next to him seemed to be the only one to notice the annoyed growl the spade threw out and an even more worried face came over him.

"N-N-Now, now. Let’s not get too angry. I-I’m sure we can work all this out.” The hathy tried and failed to sooth the two arguing royals and winced in knowing what was too come next-

The spade’s hand tapped faster and a vein bulged on his forehead from his slowly rising anger. It seemed the loud voices got louder and filled his mind to the brim-

“Will. You.Two. STOP!” His loud voice rang out followed by a loud pounding of his hand slamming down against the table. The room went silent, his action catching the attention of the arguing Kings. The only noise was the wincing Heart king slipping down further into his seat. The Spade growled before pointing a hand at Diamond. “This is all your fucking fault! There’ll be no sugar coating it! Either you give Clubs the d*m money or I’ll take it from the royal treasury by force!” The Rudinn went to say something. “It’s NOT up for discussion. I won’t be wasting anymore time on this stupid matter that could’ve already been solved. Now, what will it be, Diamond?”

The giant Rudinn just stared blankly but grumbled and mumbled an ok or something along those lines. The Spade seemed satisfied though and went back to lean across the table to stare at the other three kings.

“Now. What else do we need to deal with?”

That conversation was ended over an hour ago. Yet he still had a massive headache from it and still couldn’t get the dam thing to go away. But at least now he had semi peace and quiet. Minus the hustle and bustle off the servants and guards around him, but still much better than dealing with a 5 headed loud mouth and spoiled serpent. He groaned. Just thinking about it made his head throb harder. Could this day get any more annoying?

“S-Sir?” A tiny voice came from his side. Most likely from one of the guards.

He sighed heavily through his nose. Without looking up he asked, “What?”

The guard flinched back. “U-Um…T-T-The Duke is here to s-see you?”

…..Oh.

He lowered his hand from his face and slowly turned to look at the small Rudinn guard staring up at him in terror. “The Duke?” They nodded. “Oh…Well, send him in.”

The guard quickly slithered away and a moment later the doors to the study opened wide to reveal the blue worm man on the other side. In all his arrogant self. And of course the bumbling moron waltzed in like he owned the place, wearing the same fancy aura of authority as he usually did. The worm strolled up to the desk without hesitation with that larger than life smile of his. The king didn’t seemed fazed at all in the slightest.

“Duke,” he greeted bluntly.

“Good Morrow, Mine Majesty. I do hope I did not interrupt thou.”

“No. What do you want?”

“Nothing much. But I do wisheth to discuss important matters with thou?”

“I see….” He turned his head to the guard beside him. “Leave us.”

The rudinns did as commanded and slithered their way out of the room, closing the doors behind them as they left. Leaving the two nobles alone. After a brief moment of the king just staring after the doors, he sighed and slumped back into his seat, a hand coming up to rub his temples.

“You heard about this morning I presume?”

“Naturally. I wanted to check and see thou’s condition mineself.” A blue hand reached out and grabbed the Spade’s much bigger hand. The giant blue hand encircled the smaller one and the worm gave a small smile, one that wasn’t his usual cocky grin he gave in public. “Art thou alright from thine weekly meeting?”

The large spade gave a dry chuckle. “If by meeting you mean having to babysit through a child’s argument, then yes. Then I’m perfectly fine. Heart was smart enough to keep quiet at least.”

His smile lessened. “Then I’ll takest that as a no then.”

“It’s just-..” The large chair creaked under his shifting weight. “Those idiots cannot seem to understand the simple solutions for their problems."

The blue man hummed before giving another smile. "Well, thou must be patient. Everyone has their own uh-…..ways of dealing with their problems. But they’ll soon figure it out.”

“Yeah. That’ll be the day. "The spade huffed and turned his head to lay in his other hand. "By the time they figure it out, my bones would have become dust.”

A playful smile came over the worm as his placed a hand on his hip and gave a knowing smile up at the spade. “Oh, really? If mine memory is right, then thou didst not ‘figure it out’ with a lot of things.” The spade gave him a questioning look, giving a silent command of asking what he was talking about. To which the worm was more than happy to answer. “For example, was it not thy for made the first motion towards this."

The king gave a small jolt when the worm’s other hand came to clasp his hand, and he made a grumble and looked off in the other direction. He have off a small chuckle which seemed to make the spade slightly more uncomfortable.

"S-Shut up. This was all your idea-”

“Yet thou took a while to 'figure it out’. Didst thou not?~”

The king didn’t answer and contined to stare off to the side grumbling. He didn’t respond to the worm’s affectionate 'Look at me.~’ and felt himself try to mold his body within the large seat he sat upon. What he didn’t expect was the soft fabric of a white glove to grab his cheek- He flinched and turned his eyes to stare at the arm invading his personal space from the dark hood, they trailed up to the smiling face and white hair. He aloud his head to be gently turned by the smaller man until they were facing each other properly.

“Cometh now. No needst to be likest that.~ Do not telleth me thou art shy-?”

A large hand secured itself around his arm and the spade gave off an affectionate growl with an even more rare smile. Followed by a deep chuckle. “A king is anything but shy to what he rules over, Duke.”

The worm’s smile became wider if possible and once again chuckled.

“A king is not but in a name. Mine majesty.~”

[carewyncromwell]

“All my life I've lived for loving you...let me go now. “

x~x~x~x

HPHM Cardverse developed by @ariparri // More About The Escape Artist // featuring Sarahi Silvers @dat-silvers-girl​

x~x~x~x

Carewyn Cromwell was seen as a stoic, beautiful figure for her entire time as Queen of Hearts. What the public didn’t know that her close associates did was that for the first few years of her reign, she suffered silently, being separated from her family by the Civil War in the Country of Spades. It was even partly due to the hope that her new position would give her enough authority and reach to find her mother and brother back home and protect them from harm that Carewyn accepted the immense responsibility of Queenship in the first place. 

Although thanks to the efforts of Orion Amari, King of Clubs, Carewyn was able to reconnect with her mother, who’d escaped to the Land of Clubs as a refugee, within a year, intelligence about the fate of Carewyn’s brother Jacob was very hard to come by. The Tyrant of Spades seemed very keen to not let what happened to Jacob Cromwell see the light of day, and that secrecy only added to Carewyn and Lane’s concern. There were rumors that Jacob was imprisoned in some dark, mysterious torture chamber set aside solely for political prisoners or that he’d been murdered in various gruesome ways. One particularly upsetting one even proposed he’d been bound up in a straitjacket, tied up in a sealed bag, and then thrown over a bridge to drown in the river. 

Carewyn, for her part, desperately clung onto any shred of hope that her brother was still alive. She didn’t know if she had the heart to accept any other outcome. 

Jacob, meanwhile, took some time adjusting in the Jokers’ Domain, where Fate had deposited him. Not much is known about his beginnings there, aside from him getting into random spats with the wrong people and needing to make a quick escape before getting his nose broken or arrested. Some even propose that in Jacob’s first year in the Jokers’ Domain, the place purposefully messed with his head, making him go half-mad and forget whole chunks of his life that he then had to piece back together little by little. Others guessed it was some kind of amnesia, and that the traumatic way Jacob had managed to escape the river had caused him to hit his head and left him with severe head trauma. Still others wonder if his “death” had been a bit more literal than one might think, and when Jacob narrowly escaped Death, he only made it out with his life, not his full self or memories. Whatever the reason, Jacob’s fragmented memories and the actions they prompted out of him got him into a hell of a lot of trouble and made him plenty of petty enemies, who he then had to use his talents to evade. Fortunately, most of these “enemies” who were fellow Jokers treated the whole thing more like a big game -- the ones in the rest of Cinderhaven were a little less forgiving. The Cromwell Clan, a prominent family of jewelers in the Diamond Empire, in particular greatly detest this strange Joker called the Escape Artist. 

For all of Jacob’s fragmented memories, however, he could remember one thing -- there was someone he’d been trying really hard to get back to. A girl with ginger hair and eyes like his. 

Before long, it became clear this girl wasn’t a Joker -- Jacob certainly couldn’t find anyone like that in the Jokers’ Domain, and from what he managed to piece together of her, she seemed far too serious to belong among the likes of them. It reminded him of the stick-in-the-mud jewelers from the Diamond Empire who also had eyes like his -- and so it was in Diamonds that Jacob looked first. It was only thanks to Jacob’s great cunning and supernatural strength that he was able to parkour it over the high stone wall of the Cromwell estate with nothing but a couple of knives. 

In Jacob’s dreams, the girl with ginger hair sometimes appeared alongside another woman: an older and quieter-looking one with blond hair and similarly almond-shaped blue eyes. Both of them tended to dress in dark colors and waistcoats, so it was in the Country of Spades that Jacob looked next. In the height of the Civil War, however, it was naturally complete and utter chaos, and not the good kind either. It didn’t take long for the Tyrant of Spades to collide with Jacob and demand his immediate capture -- it also didn’t take long for Jacob to bust out of her custody once again with nothing but a broken jacket clasp as a lockpick and his own fists. 

He hated that woman, Jacob thought. The shards of knowledge he had of her were still broken and fragmented...but he somehow knew that that woman called the Tyrant of Spades was a large part of the reason why. 

Despite its upheaval, the Country of Spades sparked the most memories back to life in Jacob of any place in Cinderhaven he’d visited thus far. It was here that he figured out that the women he was looking for were named Carewyn and Lane Cromwell -- and that they’d had a family member named Jacob. Armed with this new knowledge, Jacob set about finding out what had happened to Carewyn and Lane. Lane’s exact whereabouts was harder to determine, since she’d escaped Spades as a refugee, likely to the Land of Clubs, but prior to the Civil War, Carewyn had been enrolled in a university by the sea in the Kingdom of Hearts, so that was where Jacob searched first. When he arrived in the Kingdom of Hearts, the Escape Artist initially took little interest in people talking about their King and Queen...until he noticed one local artist painting out a likeness of said Queen, with long flowing ginger hair and bright sky-blue eyes. 

Carewyn, the artist had called her. Queen Carewyn. 

Jacob’s heart felt like it had burst at the seams. Half-mad with joy, the Escape Artist ran all the way across the country toward the Palace of Hearts and actually set about trying to break in. 

Needless to say, he was quickly arrested. Needless to say as well, he soon enough broke his way back out and used his new position inside the Palace walls to try to seek out the Queen of Hearts. He eventually found her talking with the King in the royal gardens -- and it was here that Jacob was taken down a second time, this time by the royal gardener, Sarahi Silvers. The Escape Artist had admittedly been too distracted to notice such an innocent, cherubic girl tending to the red palace roses close by...but even if he had, there’s no way in the world he could’ve imagined that, upon seeing this crazy-haired escaped prisoner spying on the King and Queen, she would respond with such a mean uppercut that Jacob was knocked right off his feet.

“You stay away from the Queen, you -- you creeper!” Sarahi cried in shaky, but righteous anger. 

Once he’d recovered from the punch, Jacob dodged Sarahi’s second strike, making a mad dash for Carewyn and Diego. Immediately putting down her basket so that the rabbit inside could dart off to safety in the bushes, Sarahi then proceeded to tackle Jacob and pin him to the ground so he couldn’t escape. The noise summoned the palace guards, who quickly locked Jacob back up in manacles, even as the short, but strong man wrestled in their grip, bellowing and screaming like a mad animal. 

“LET GO OF ME! LET GO! I NEED TO GET BACK TO HER! I PROMISED! LET GO!”

Diego, for his part, immediately took out the sword attached to his side and stood in front of Carewyn protectively as he approached.

“Guards, please,” he said, however startled he was by the mad fit the prisoner was undertaking, “there’s no need to be rough with the man. He’s clearly not in his right mind...”

“But your Majesty,” the captain of the guards said tensely, “he already escaped one of our high-security cells! And he’s clearly here to target her Majesty -- ”

Carewyn herself considered the insane man writhing in the guard’s grip. Underneath all those messy dark curls, his eyes were as hollowed-out as a skull’s -- and yet, their color and shape...

Carewyn’s and Jacob’s eyes both widened, upon meeting.

“...Jacob?” Carewyn breathed disbelievingly. 

Something in Jacob’s mind cracked open. It was like Carewyn’s whisper tore down a dam in his mind, sending images rushing over his eyes, mind, and heart in a flood --

Jacob. He was Jacob -- Jacob Cromwell. He’d worked in the Country of Spades, under that woman now called the Tyrant. He’d worked with Duncan Ashe, the Jack of Spades, in that time long before. He’d been trying to stay under the radar, all so he could sneak out to the Kingdom of Hearts, where she was waiting for him --

Carewyn. Carewyn Cromwell. Carewyn Cromwell, his little sister, his baby sister, his precious sister -- 

With a mad, inhuman burst of strength, Jacob managed to throw off both of the guards holding him and -- even with his wrists still manacled together -- he managed to dodge both Sarahi and Diego and throw his chained arms up and over Carewyn’s head and around her in a suffocating vice grip. 

“Wyn!”

The cry was loud and strained, but also choked, like the most pitiful whine of a dog. Jacob clung to Carewyn like a child, even as his face burst into the fullest, most handsome smile and his eyes streamed with tears.

“Wyn -- my Wyn -- I found you -- I found you!”

And then, to Jacob’s immense relief, Carewyn likewise seized hold of him, her hands sinking into the back of his coat like claws.

“Jacob!” she choked. “You’re alive -- thank God, you’re alive -- !”

“Yeah,” Jacob said shakily. His manacled arms were trembling around her as he buried his head in her ginger hair. “Yeah, I am -- Wyn -- I’m so sorry -- I promised I’d see you soon -- I’d promised I’d meet you here, but I’m so late -- ”

“It’s okay,” Carewyn rasped. “It’s okay, Jacob -- ”

“I promised Mum I’d get out another way,” Jacob rambled under his breath. “I promised I’d find you, and then find her -- ”

His mother. His mother, Lane. That was who had been with Carewyn -- that was the other woman who’d accompanied Carewyn in his dreams, all those times -- 

“Mum’s fine,” Carewyn reassured him just as quietly. “Orion offered her sanctuary, in Clubs...”

“That bloke?” Jacob frowned for a reason he couldn’t quite articulate. “Hn...guess it’s better than Mum going back to the Empire...”

Everyone around the two Cromwell siblings were left perfectly dumbfounded, watching all this. Sarahi looked at Diego, her face completely bewildered. 

“Um...is this guy here to hurt the Queen or not?” she asked. “Because I don’t know what’s going on anymore.”

Diego, however, knew Carewyn well enough that he could put together exactly who this man was. And when he did, his face filled up with such relief that it made him beam from ear to ear.

“...So the infamous ‘Escape Artist’ is...”

Carewyn’s shining eyes were full of happy tears as she smiled at Diego and nodded. Jacob’s eyes, likewise full of tears, regarded Diego with a broad smirk over his shoulder.

“Me,” he finished coolly. 

With seemingly no effort, he’d dislodged the manacles that had locked his wrists together and tossed them idly at Diego’s feet.

“Let’s see how long any of you can hold me, King of Hearts.”

[pawfulofwaffles]

My designs :] This took like a week I think

Closeups in pairs

(the yawning gap above the shorter characters is because eeeeeerrr ummmm I thought it was a good idea to maintain height differences at first but it doesn’t really look good but I’m lazy and didn’t feel like cropping it) had to go on the website instead of the app to post this since the website lets u post more than ten o_0

Me yapping about each characters design below ⬇️

- Split has a bunch of spots on her pelt, like a banana.(spots are random right now, I’m trying to come up with actual placement I can remember. The spots on her shell aren’t random tho)

- Bive has a long thin tail with a tuft at the end, and patches and stitched up rips in her coat.

- Lampert has a star at the end of his chain(I swear I saw an artist that added this that inspired me to add it) and a plush body(like, if you cut him open he has stuffing)

- Gnarpy’s tail bulbs are shaped like stars, with the stingers on the point of them. Also, technically gnarpians hind legs are designed to be digitigrade, but when in their armor and boots, they walk plantigrade. Also also Gnarpian blood is purple and called glarzle.

- Gnarpy made Spud fluffy and gave him paws when xe experimented on him?? Idk man I just saw someone give him fluff and paws and was like “hell yeah” also the bottom of Spud’s shirt is tied

- Gregoriah has a short spaded tail.

- Pest has two pairs of arms and red paw pads, a short abdomen-like tail with two antennae extending from the base of his tail(there is a reason I give bug characters that but I’m not explaining it now), beetle wings(not visible, they’re under his sweatshirt), and a silky furred head.

- Poob has an animal nose, curly fur, star shaped paw pads, a color block hoodie, red sneakers with stars drawn onto them and red paw pad markings on the bottom of their sneakers, and a puffy tail. There is confetti caught in the curls on their head and in their tail.

- Infected has scene wear on. He also has freckles(BECAUSE I SAY SO!!1!) and curly dark brown hair. His snot and blood are pink and black checkered. The pins I added on his pants aren’t actually part of his design, I just wanted to add them lol but the pin on his beanie is part of the design

- You can only see the outline of Unpleasant unless something is covering/absorbed in his fur and hair. Most important thing to mention ig is that he has a large bushy tail. Also SHORT UNPLEASANT SUPREMACY IDGAF IF THEY’RE CANONICALLY TALLER THAN MOST PEOPLE

- DrRETRO is HUGE. The only one who’s taller than her is MR. She’s close to height with Wallter, but he’s slightly shorter. She has one a those doctor mirrors on her head, big eyes and a big mouth(her expressions are always exaggerated). She has a white doctor’s coat with a light blue-cyan undershirt, and a stethoscope. Her paw pads are green(unless about to use her killing laser, then they’re pink) and the metacarpal paw pad is a medical cross.

- Folly got a thin tail with tuft on end woooo also hooves that you cant see with the boots on

- Prototype has joints and silver metacarpal paw pads.

- Scag is scag I just wanted 2 draw her

- Pilby has green swirls on their cheeks, their hood is fuzzy, they have a fluffy body, and there’s a pink tuft on the end of their tail. Their handpaws have ribbons with bells around their wrists, and their hind paws have frills around them. Also they have paw pads and each paw has a different color (upper right is blue, upper left is pink, lower right is turquoise, lower left is green)

- Mach is pretty much the same too lol

- Jermbo is shaped kinda bowling pinnish since Buck is his son or something. Also I actually went to the og image and looked at other pictures of Takeru(the name of the cat used in Jermbo’s image) to know what his patterning looks like

- Reddy has a collar with his red tie, overalls, and cuffs on his wrists. There’s a rip on his left overall pant to reveal the bad state his left leg is in

- Wallter is pretty much the same but has cracks in his left upper arm, right thigh, and also technically on on his left thigh but it’s covered by a bandage

Mark has woodchip hair, a construction vest, multiple scars on his arms(from construction. Mainly.) and a bandage above the joint in his stand.

Why did I choose these guys but leave out other characters, like MR, Sarah, Emerson, or Enphoso? Either because 1. I haven’t fully figured out my design for them yet, or 2. I just don’t care enough about them.