#He questions why Dan and Danny hate him especially

[demonic0angel]

Hi! I saw your last ask post, and if you’re open to sharing, I’d love to see a bit of the Possessed AU!

I think it’s such a unique take on DPxDC—I haven’t seen anything like it before, and it adds such a cool perspective. Plus, the idea of Nightwing—one of the absolute pinnacles of the hero community—being possessed is just insane.

His loss alone would be devastating, but the fact that his friends and family don’t just lose him—they have to keep seeing someone else in his body—makes it so much worse. The emotional fallout would be so intense, and I’d love to see how you explore that.

There aren’t a lot of dark humor creators in the fandom (which is totally fine! Everyone’s entitled to their own ships and headcanons), but personally, I adore their kind of dynamic.

If you have anything to share, that would be amazing! No pressure, though—just wanted to say how much I love the idea. Thanks in advance! <3

YOU GETTTT ITTTTTTTTT!!!

Yes, I’m very open to sharing! I’ve been writing a one-shot about this idea (I have no idea when it’s gonna finished, I have so many other projects, it’s not even funny so please don’t ask), and the entire premise is that Dan learns how to be a hero through the eyes (and body) of Dick Grayson.

Dick Grayson is such a vital part of the DCU and hero scene, since he’s seen as the best of the best and even the next leader of the Justice League. His kindness, understanding, and compassion is what makes him such a good hero, especially in a city like Bludhaven, which is believed to be even worse than Gotham City.

Meanwhile, Dan is NOT a hero. He’s an anti-hero at best, and a full blown serial killing villain at worst, which is why I absolutely love him getting a redemption arc and learning the values of heroics through his siblings (Jazz, Danny, and Dani), as well as Dick. In my eyes, Dan works best when paired up with someone who has opposing morals to his (although he’d be fun being friends with Jason too lmao)

In the Possessed AU, Dan learns how to be a hero with Dick’s body as he sees how Dick’s death impacts the people around him. Everyone hates Dan for taking over Dick’s body like he does after he dies, but no one can do anything about it, creating some very delicious angst due to helplessness. Only Dan can solve this problem, and as he tries to get Dick’s soul back and revive him, he also learns the importance of life and companionship through the eyes of Dick, who is so loved by the people around him. In my one-shot, Dan, along with Damian, work together to find Dick’s killer and revive him, and at the same time, they both relearn how to be a hero. I hope to create a story that shows that Dick’s legacy as hope and light, as both Robin and Nightwing, will last, even when he’s dead.

Ty for the question, I love yapping about my AUs!!

[formula1fanfiction]

Daniel Ricciardo / George Russell

Title: My pretty girl

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo / George Russell

Characters: Daniel Ricciardo, George Russell

Prompt: When Ricciardo heard the rumour about Russell he decided to try this chance // forced feminization. (Warning for Dubious consent)

Danny Ric: Sooo... are the rumours true

Russell George: What rumours?

Danny Ric: That you sleep with people for fun

Russell George: I guess it is, yes :)

Danny Ric: Wow, haHA. I didn't think they would be true.

Danny Ric: So... Can I fuck you then?

Russell George: Yeah.

*

George really wasn't pleased when Dan, pressed a small package into his hands and told him to wear this tonight. Especially when this turned out to be a white lacy bra with a matching thong, but like the good little slut he is, he put it on and headed to Daniel's hotel room with a fake smile on his face.

He had barely had the chance to step foot in the room when Daniel had rugby tackled him to the bed and stripped him down to his lingerie, giving him a shy smile and asked if he was okay with this and of course he said yes because this what he does.

"Shame about your tits, baby. Pretty small aren't they?" Daniel taunts, placing both his hands on George's pecs and squeezing them together. "I'd love to put my cock between them and fuck your tits, but there is nothing here at all." Daniel tuts, giving them a hard squeeze, pulling a surprised yelp from George. "Sorry, sorry." Daniel gives them a quick kiss. "It's fine."  

"Are you sure George, we can stop if you like?" Daniel's hand hovers over his nipples. George hates when they ask questions like that, he just can't say no, he'd rather them just get on with it. "I'll safe word if I want to stop, please stop asking me."

Daniel's hands return to his chest, squeezing and kneading at his sensitive skin. Daniel isn't rough with him but it hurts anyway but at the same time, he doesn't want Daniel to be kind and gentle with him. Daniel flicks his nipple, George involuntary arches his back in pleasure, forgetting for a moment just how fucked up his brain is.  Daniel obviously noticed he liked it and did it again. "Did you like that baby, girl?" The words make him cringe but he smiles and nods all the same.

The kiss takes him completely by surprise, Daniel leans down and presses their lips together, he kiss is hard, brutal and steals away George's breath. George hisses as Daniel bites down on his lower lip, drawing blood. He quickly laps it up in a silent apology. When pulls away, his lips are bright red with George's blood.

Daniel leans forward and presses George's hands to the bed, behind his head, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. He doesn't know if he should be frightened or excited.   

Daniel releases his hands and turns his attention back to George's 'tits', unclipping his bra and revealing George's underwhelming chest. He pushes George's pecs together, it makes no difference what so ever, he's just not a girl but that doesn't seem to deter Daniel in his attempts of fucking them.

"Do you like me fucking your tiny tits baby?" Daniel's pushing them together so hard, there's sure to be bruises there in the morning, he's going to have a hard time explaining those bruises to Alex.  

The friction of Daniel's cock on his chest burns, it's too fast, it can't feel good to Daniel either. Despite this, George's head is a fucked up place to be and his cock is embarrassingly hard and straining against his embarrassing underwear begging for attention. He's not sure if Daniel's going to touch him or not, he even prepped himself before heading over but it seems Daniel's more interested in coming on his make believe tits.

"Such a good girl for me, aren't you George?" Daniel grunts, thrusting even harder, the small drops of pre cum have made it easier on George's burning skin. Now it just feels like he's a toy for Daniel's use. George can't help the small whines escaping from his throat, he's got no idea why he's getting off on this but his whines only seem to spur Daniel on even more, he thrusts harder until he groans loudly and cums all over George's face and chest.  "Fuck baby, you look so hot with my cum all over your pretty face."

"Let's see how wet you are baby." Daniel doesn't bother taking his panties off, just pushing them to one side and pushes three fingers into his ass. "So wet for my baby, I can't wait to fuck your tight little pussy." He sinks deeper and runs his fingers over George's prostate, making him arch his hips in pleasure. "You love it when I rub your clit, don't you baby?" George doesn't know how he's still hard, the whole feminisation thing makes his skin crawl.

"I didn't think i'd get hard this quick but just seen you like this George, fuck you are so hot." Daniel growls slamming into his prostate once again. "Like, I didn't actually think you would put it on." He gestures at the underwear. "I knew you were the paddock slut, but this is something else." George manages to fight back his tears, fuck that hit close to home.

"Are you ready for me to fuck your pretty pussy?" Daniel lets his fingers slip out and rolls on the condon. He spreads George's legs, wrapping them around his waist while his rock hard cock presses against George's entrance.  

George can't help the moans falling from his lips as Daniel slides the tip of his cock inside, he's much bigger than George thought he would be. "Your pussy is so tight baby." Daniel growls, pushing more of his cock inside George. "Fuck you feel so good wrapped around me." George arches his hips up off the bed as Daniel slams the whole way in with one swift move, stalling for a few moments just to catch his breath but quickly starts to thrust.

It's embarrassing how George's brain turns into a zombie like state, the pain and the hurt all forgotten for now as his body is filled with pure pleasure as he lays back into the pillows and takes what Daniel is giving to him.

"I wish you could see what you look like when i'm fucking your pretty little pussy." Daniel growls, thrusting into George with a brutal pace, so hard the bed shakes underneath them. George is abruptly brought back from his zombie like trance as Daniel squeezes his neck, using it as leverage as he thrusts into him with all his might. George manages some sort of noises close to moans as much as the restrictions on this throat allows.

"Fuck George, such a good girl for me." Daniel repeats as he continues to abuse George's abused arsehole, showing no mercy as George struggles for breath, his cock begging for its orgasm.

Daniel takes pity on him and angles his thrusts to hit George's prostate with ever slam into his body, releasing the grip on his throat, to enjoy the loud moans falling from his mouth as George reaches the height of his orgasm, screaming out incoherent words as he spills his load over his own stomach.  

George can hear the pathetic whines falling from his mouth as he comes down from his orgasm and feels Daniel still slamming into him with the same violent pace as he searches for his own orgasm. It hurts now, his whole body hurts with how rough Daniel has been and the shame of enjoying it. It comes as a relief when Daniel comes with a groan, filling up the condom.

"Fuck George, you were amazing." Daniel places a hard kiss onto his forehead. "Do you want me to stay? I could give you after care and maybe a cuddle?" George honestly can't think of anything worse.

"I'm good but thank you." He manages a weak smile, Daniel smiles back as he quickly gets dressed. "If you ever want to do this again, just hit me up." There is no chance of a repeat of tonight.

This work is part of the paddock slut series, you can read the rest here

[callmewrinkles3]

Snapshot.

February 2029

For as long as she could remember, Em never really liked family gatherings. Not even when she was a kid. The immense pressure on her every single time was something she hated to deal with. She had to be the perfect child. Sit straight, use the right fork, not speak with the adults were talking but keep an ear out in case a question was directed to her and she couldn’t answer it. It was the pressure of remembering all of the things that her mother and her nanny said to her. Plus the questions thrown at her that felt impossible.

Being asked “what do you want to be when you grow up?” made her nervous because there was no right answer. She didn’t want to be an art curator like her mother or a lawyer like her father. She was just a kid and all she knew was how much she loved books, horses, and painting. As she grew up the stress and the pressure seemed to grow with her. That stupid question was still there but in her teen years she couldn’t laugh it off as a joke. Her family was wondering and waiting for her answers, ready to point fingers and judge and nitpick every single one of her choices.

But then she shocked them all with her university decision, picking a career and the questions moved from what she did in uni to when she was going to settle down and get married. Find a man and have kids and clearly give up the “unsuitable” career that she hadn’t even tried to pursue because she hadn’t even graduated. It made her anxious about every family gathering, no matter how big or small they were.

She had a hundred and one reasons why she had armour surrounding her when she met Dan. She had all of the reasons in the world not to trust people without a second thought, but all of that ice and security started to melt thanks to Dan’s warmth.

None of it was a walk in the park, especially considering how many friends Dan had and the popularity he had. It was a ridiculously long journey that included going back to their bedroom when his home mates surrounded them at the farm, anxiety attacks when there were so many new people. But with time, love, and patience she started to feel better about the annual reunions and parties he held when they got home after the season ended. With time she got used to the mess and noise that came with the man she loved, and at some point she started to enjoy it in a weird kind of way. Whether it was his loud friends and watching them on dirt bikes doing jumps, or at a family barbecue, she got to realise that the noise that sometimes made her hide and take deep breaths also brought Danny’s most contagious, happiest laugh. They were the things that made him smile and recharge his batteries the most, so she got through it.

But what Em never imagined was that at some point she would end up loving the mess and the noise. After Dan retired for good and they traded in the life of hotel rooms and planes for one fully installed in the farm, the barbecues, dinners, and celebrations became bigger. The farm was the centre of everyone’s events and she loved it. That’s how she ended up staring at the beautiful mess that was tables linked together with the Clarkes and the Ricciardos celebrating Charlie’s birthday. Every year she insisted she didn’t want to do anything fancy and just be surrounded by the people who loved her most in the world. So there were two big families who had adopted each other and joined together as one, laughing and joking while eating and drinking. The three toddlers were half asleep in the playpen as night began to fall, Lulu insisting she was awake and sitting on her daddy’s knee.

Em was only supposed to be gone for a second to pick some ice up from the kitchen, but she took an extra few seconds to look through the kitchen window and soak it all in for a moment. This was all she had ever wanted, everything she never thought she’d get to have. She had a wonderful family who loved her and supported her through thick and thin. Who asked her questions out of love and not to make her feel bad. Who’d helped fix her broken and battered heart.

Just when she was about to take her phone out to take a photo that would last so much longer than the one in her memory, Em felt an arm wrap around her shoulders. After so many years she didn’t have to turn around to know it was Blake standing next to her and pulling her close.

“We really did it. Didn’t we, Timmy?” Blake asked with a smile on his face, looking down at Em for a moment. There was nothing to explain. They were so, so lucky. They’d married the loves of their lives, had a wonderful life and two gorgeous kids, and it all felt like a crazy dream. But it was nothing but true.

“We really fucking did it, Blakey. We really did.”

[britcision]

Okay so the tags…

Danny is still terrified of being his own Ultimate Enemy

Even with all the GiW did, he can’t reconcile himself to destroying the world like Dan did

That’s why he needs a boss; someone above him, to reign him in and point him like a gun and stop him from going too far

Penguin’s perfect for this; he’s a ruthless and conniving mob boss, AND he knows his limits (after Harley thrashes him for trying to move the Gotham rogue scene to Coney Island)

He doesn’t want world domination (unless it involves repopulating Earth via penguins)

He doesn’t need the wide scale destruction Dan excelled at

And for Danny, who is so angry and wants to destroy the heroes but not the whole world? It’s exactly what he needs

Penguin slowly gets used to his new guy’s abilities, largely mundane but Penguin has reason to suspect there’s more under the hood - he remembers where the boy came from after all

And somehow he hates the Bats even more than Penguin does, yet in such a different way

See, Danny’s not out to become the Joker. He’s not going to kill the heroes, especially not the kids

No, that’s not good enough (and too close to Dan, he can’t trust himself)

He’s going to destroy everything but their physical lives, and Penguin is quite delighted with the idea of them being forced out of operation

Danny’s side project receives unexpected funding, and sure, he’s on other jobs and direct work for the Penguin more often than not, but Oswald knows if Danny gets an opportunity to get or do something useful to the side project, he’s taking it

The Penguin can’t be associated with a job that might not work, so it’s all unofficial, but news spreads

A brief “vacation” to Metropolis ends with Superman suddenly plummeting out of the sky (hello ectoplasm as kryptonite or kryptonite adjacent), and Danny’s getting calls from the league of evil (do not question the name great branding)

Lex Luthor chips in to the side project, and he has access to the kind of tech Danny can use to turn his parents’ scrapping ways into something entirely more

He gets permission to build his own portal, to “siphon ectoplasm” for both weapons and building Penguin his very own, actually working and ethical ecto battery

The Iceberg Lounge is disconnected from the Gotham grids, and suddenly nothing the bats can do can scratch their power

No more convenient black outs, no more “malfunctioning” electric locks

Penguin’s working on convincing Danny to let them unveil the battery to the world and selling, but Danny knows who else is in the field; they won’t all bother to harvest ecto ethically

And Penguin’s not isolating his best guy by pushing the matter

Danny’s mostly off the field, mostly doing tech work in the background and keeping himself off the grid and far enough away no one can recognize him… until there’s a full raid on the Lounge when he’s just trying to get a night off

Danny can’t fully use his ghost powers or transform, the Trauma™️ is too great, but there’s always been bleed through

He could use it to go intangible and slip through the floor, like he did as a kid

But seeing Nightwing flipping through the air, cocky as anything, intangibility isn’t what comes to mind

An ectoblast is too much to ask for but y’know what Danny can do? A little super strength. A little marksmanship

Nightwing goes down to a modified ecto gun and, as usual, the others get more aggressive

Red Robin is knocked headlong into a wall and is fully knocked out

More bats arrive as backup, Penguin’s gone out the back, but Danny still hasn’t had enough

He’s not leaving until every single one of them have ecto burns of their own, and with invisibility… with his constant low body temperature, barely-there heartbeat, he can strike and disappear into the crowd

It’s not until the goons have significantly thinned out that one of them, Black Bat, gets a lock on who’s been doing half the damage

Danny’s no martial arts master, but he spent his formative years fighting people who were usually bigger, usually stronger. Cass is much closer to his own build, and while Danny can tank a dozen hits, she’s not counting on powerful hits

She’s sly, insidious, wrapping herself all in and around and always just out of his sight and range

She’s not immune to a quick, panicked burst of intangibility that finally does drop him through the floor and out; he’s never letting himself get caught again

Penguin is DELIGHTED by how many heroes went down in the fight; even more so that it’s tracked back to some old rogue called Phantom and not himself

The way that I’m brainrotting over a DCxDP crossover with a Danny who’s a vengeful villain rn

Like, let’s just say that the GiW finally get into contact with the JL. They need help neutralizing a threat, you see, and they’re on their last limb trying to keep civilians safe.

They have video evidence! They have studies to back their claims! The JL have to help them!

Unfortunately, the JL believe them. They join a fight against Danny, and defeat him due to being far more experienced than he is. Danny is locked away and experimented on by the GiW.

That would CHANGE a person. Your heroes turning against you and seeing you as a monster, being experimented on for who knows how long, not knowing if your friends and family are safe.

Danny gets out due to a simple mistake on the GiW’s part; having Blüdhaven as part of their transport route.

Of course the trucks were attacked, they’re government property!

So now, whoever decided to raid the government transport trucks (the Penguin or something) has a ton of experimental weapons with no idea how they work, and a heavily traumatized teenager.

Danny knows how they work. Danny can be useful! They won’t throw him out if he’s useful! And so, now Danny is working for the Penguin, altering the ectoplasm weapons to make them work on humans.

It’s a good deal for both parties. Danny gets to neurotically imprint on the Penguin like a small baby animal, and the Penguin gets a brilliant mind who will stop at nothing to achieve his goals.

But eventually, Danny finds out what happened to his family in his absence.

Jazz is in Arkham. Not as a psychologist, but as a “patient.” Apparently, she snapped and completely destroyed the house, leveled a few blocks of Amity Park, and conducted organized attacks on government bases (mostly GiW) for months.

Sam and Tucker helped her, eventually splitting once Jazz was captured. Sam travels to areas of extreme pollution, completely overgrowing them with her plant powers. Currently she’s in the Amazon rainforest, engaging in an ongoing feud with logging companies. Sam is winning.

Tucker faked his death, and Danny has no idea where he is. He only knows that the death wasn’t real because of a code that the three of them made together, just in case.

Ellie’s trapped in the Infinite Realms. Danny had a failsafe in place so that if she was ever cornered by the GiW, she would be sent to her haunt in the GZ. However, with the portal destroyed, she can’t come back. Danny just hopes she’s okay.

His parents are now top GiW scientists. They’re traveling the country giving speeches. They’re working on a battery powered by ectoplasm, but apparently started “having difficulties” around the same time that Danny escaped.

None of it is fair. None of it is right.

The Justice League destroyed his life, the lives of his friends, and they’re doing as good as ever. The GiW is respected, and his parents are happily working away for them.

Danny takes up some of his more experimental weapons and breaks Jazz out of Arkham. She’s a little different now, colder and more quiet, but she still loves him all the same. It’s an unimaginable comfort to him to see his sister again.

He can’t use his powers anymore. He’s so used to associating them with pain that even transforming into his ghost form is enough to take him down for hours.

However, he understands ectoplasm more than anyone else in the world. He knows how to use it in virtually everything; how it can become a weapon, how it can be used as a supplemental ingredient in poisons and nerve agents, how it can twist and distort the mind if applied correctly.

He doesn’t care what happens to him. He’s going to take down the GiW, and destroy the lives of the JL members who helped lock him away, just as they did to him.

No matter the cost.

[hallowsden]

DC x DP Idea Thing #4

Dual-sided Rebirth AU (Official name pending)

Brain had this idea for over a week (or 2...) now, rent-free, but what if Jazz, Dan, Danny, and Ellie all reincarnated as Harvey Dent's kids? Jazz and Dan are the old set of twins while Danny and Ellie are the younger set. Will all of them remember their past lives? I say majority of it.

This is before Harvey got scarred and became Two-Face and maybe the mother is someone before Gilda Dent? Idk, all I know is that all of them present as Metas despite neither Harvey or their mother had the meta trait (this is a case that Black Canary II falls under from what my research says), Danny and Ellie's powers showing from birth while Dan's and later Jazz's activated after.

Danny and Ellie were thought to be dead when they were born but they proved otherwise. Danny froze a nurse's hand while Ellie went into goop mode a few times. Later Dan and Jazz both set something on fire but for two completely different reasons, severity, and time. At least to say, Harvey here has a handful, especially if he was acting as a single parent here.

Harvey's gonna have a bit of a hard time first as a parent, regardless if this is pre-Two-Face era or not. Man here is (secretly) terrified at the thought of becoming like his father to his kids.

It takes a while but he gets used to the life of fatherhood despite also being busy as hell. The kids help out by behaving (as much as they can anyways), though, Jazz's powers do come in handy.

(She's like SCP-999 essentially here when she notices people are stressed in her proximity, for lack of better words. No one noticed she had powers till it manifested into harmless flames that had calming effects to it when nearby. With her powers + support from her and the rest of her siblings, they managed to delay Two-Face's debut for a while later on. But uh, yeah, her powers are gonna be very helpful for Harvey when Dan, Danny, and Ellie all gain more powers cause OOOOO BOY, blood pressure, am I right?)

Harvey becomes more motivated to get into Law after all his kid's powers were shown so they can be seen/treated as equals and not have Metas outright banned from Gotham especially, even though he keeps his kid's status as "metas" away from public knowledge. It later becomes an open secret though.

As stated earlier, the Two-Face debut is gonna be delayed. Jazz, Dan, Danny, and Ellie are gonna be very protective of their dad (and pa when they officially meet Harv) after the attack. Mother henning children. I feel like Dan's gonna empathize with both of them a lot in a way and have late-night talks with dad and pa about the darker thoughts they all have.

As much as they all tried, though, Two-Face is gonna make an appearance cause this is Gotham.

When Two-Face era begins, Harvey and Harv likely avoid the kids (even if Danny and Ellie are still teens while Jazz and Dan are in Uni) as their way of protecting them from overall villain stuff the two do despite all of them trying to reach out to him and supporting them, hoping they'll get better.

I'm ngl, I feel like Dan and Danny are gonna join the criminal business with their dad and pa (much to their protests) cause someone has to look out for them. Ellie joins in on occasions for chaos and shenanigans (cause yes) and Jazz is glaring at Arkham with so much contempt cause YOU AREN'T HELPING HER DAD AND PA PROPERLY! (As well as the other inmates but STILL- YOU CALL THAT PROPER MEDICAL PRACTICE- Jazz ends up burning at least something whenever anything about Arkham is brought up. Everyone in the family is scared cause her flames normally don't even singe a thing)

Jazz is creating her own practitioner-place therapy thing cause TO HELL WITH ARKHAM!

I... Honestly don't know what I'm writing here anymore. More exhausted then usual. Might add/edit later. Idk. Just- Reincarnation for Fenton Kids, Harvey being Gotham's original Famous Dad before Bruce (which speaking of- he's Uncle Bruce and Dan and Danny don't trust him which confuses Harvey and Harv), and just, angst, fluff, chaos, and shenanigans.

[thirstyandbeautiful]

3 and 25 perhaps aussie daddies only with dan being an insomniac brat if you like it?

3. “Wanna bet?”

25. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

APRIL DRABBLES AussieDaddies!Drabble: The Not So Restful Rest Time

Summary: Daniel hasn't been doing well and it's effecting his sleep. You and Michael try your best to coax the man to bed, but he's a bear when he's low on sleep and rolling with his self inflicted punches. (Warning: Danny is a little intense with dirty talk with a sprinkle of mean in this but it’s all consensual)

You weren’t sure why you’d woken up. All you knew was that you were awake, and you definitely didn’t need the bathroom or a drink of water. 

When you opened your eyes, you saw Michael’s body in front of you. The peaceful sleeper that he was, he was turned on his side, perfectly curled up like he hadn’t moved a muscle. Which he most likely had not. He was your calm lover. But, your chaotic lover...

Turning over your shoulder, you realized why you had woken up.

Daniel was missing from bed. 

You sighed. You should’ve figured you would wake up like this. Especially with the way the past week had been. It was summer break, and after the first half of the season, Daniel was wound up, like really wound up. He was barely sleeping, and over training. He was too worked up, too anxious. He hadn’t been able to turn off his brain in a few days. 

And any and all suggestions were out of the question to him. He was too annoyed, too reactive. Your normally playfully unpredictable lover had become emotionally unpredictable. And while you had thought he’d unwind, you had all been home for 5 days already- how much longer did he need?

You thought through the many explosive moments he’d had since coming home as you padded through the house searching for him. It didn’t surprise you in the least when you found yourself following the sounds of a machine straight to the gym. 

“Love?” you called gently. 

Daniel’s head snapped towards the door, and you almost flinched under the intensity. He was wide eyed, and while at first glance he was pretty much blank faced, the next second his features hardened. His attitude was back, and he looked ready to challenge you. 

“What do you want?” He answered, his words tight but lacked the gruff attitude he’d carried all these days home. 

“Was looking for you.” you mumbled as you walked into the room, “Don’t like waking up without you.”

He looked away from you quickly, the change in his demeanor revealed a crack in his shitty mood. You knew an opportunity when you saw one. Your feet sped up as you approached him on his stationary bike. When you got closer, you allowed your eyes to wander. 

“Bed’s too big without you.” you told him gently, even as your eyes raked over his topless, sculpted body, “Miss your snores,” you giggled, “and your cuddles.”

Daniel’s legs slowed from their casually hurried pace like they were melted, and when he looked at you, his jaw was still tensed but his lips weren’t stuck in the sneer you’d been forced to look at for days. 

“Just want you back.” you mumbled sweetly. 

His legs stopped moving. 

You looked up at his face, your peripheral vision caught the way his hands twitched at his sides. Stepping towards him, closer, your eyes darted down his chest again, following a droplet of sweat that traced his flat chest all the way to his chiseled abs. 

He scoffed, making your eyes snap right back up to his face. 

The sneer was back. 

“Want me or my dick?” 

You licked your lips, “Daniel-”

“Come here.” he commanded, his legs picking up the pace on the pedals, “Get over here.” 

You walked a bit closer to him, and when you were in grabbing distance, he reached for your arm and yanked you forward. In his space, you could smell the richness of his cologne and natural smell. You hated how trained your body was to respond to him. This wasn’t what you had intended to do, but maybe this was what he needed. 

You knew you missed him. 

All of him.

“I asked you a question.” he tilted your chin up, “Answer me.”

“Miss you.” you squeaked. 

“Oh yeah?” Daniel chuckled, “So if I slid my hand under that shirt of yours, I wouldn’t find that cunt all messy?”

Your eyes widened, and you could feel your nipples hardening and becoming more sensitive as they brushed against the fabric of your shirt. 

“Wanna bet?” He laughed cruelly, “Sluts only got mouths for one use, huh?”

You licked your lips and couldn’t help but trace his body with your gaze.

He clicked his tongue at you, “Ask me.” he told you softly, still grasping your chin, “Ask me nicely.” he clarified sternly. 

“Will- can, can you touch me?” you whispered. 

He smiled as his hand fell to his side. For a moment, you felt yourself pout, worried that he was going to drag this out. That it was going to be another day without being close to your love. You just wanted to be close to him, and some kinky power struggle was as close to normal as you’d been since coming home. 

“I can smell you.” he broke through your thoughts, “Hold your shirt up.”

Like the obedient girl you were, you lifted the ends of your shirt to your belly button.

“Not a trace of a blush.” he tsk’d at you before pressing a finger to your tummy and tracing down your pelvis, “But you’re used to showing off this pussy, aren’t you? You know what it gets you.”

“You.” you answered. 

“And Michael. Cause one cock isn’t enough.” 

You didn’t have anything to say back, because as quickly as he got his dig in, his hand had dipped between your thighs. You gasped as his digits spread your lips and wasted no time at all. Damp and moist towards your center, your humid little hole probably would’ve glistened for him if he had spread you open and gotten a look. 

“Mmmmm,” he groaned as he pressed the tip of his finger against your entrance and rubbed it in circular motions, teasing you as you clenched and unclenched, “Amazing.” he whispered to himself as he must’ve felt how you wet his fingertip. 

The push of his finger into you was quick, and it was easy for him to sink to the second knuckle inside of you. You bit your lip hard and sucked in a breath as he waved his finger around inside you. His strong, long finger stirred up your insides and tested your walls. 

“How does that feel?” 

“I-I like it.”

“Like what?” he growled.

“Like your finger in my pussy.” you whimpered. 

“What would you like more?” 

You looked him in the eye, “Two fingers in your pussy.” you told him breathlessly. 

“That’s it, that’s a good slut.” Daniel’s accent got heavier as his voice dropped an octave, “Listen to my cunt.” He roughly curled and uncurled his fingers rhythmically, knocking his fingers back and forth against your walls, making a lewd squish sound fill the room, “Sounds like it needs more.”

“Please!” you whimpered, “Your cunt.” you repeated to him, “your messy pussy.” 

Your toes curled into the floor as your hips rode his hand. Your own hands were bunched in your shirt as you pushed yourself on to your toes, your legs tightened as you shook in the palm of his hand. It felt too good to have those long, strong fingers inside of you, to have Daniel taking and giving your pleasure. 

The loud beep from the bike made your eyes fly open as Daniel abruptly pulled his hand free from your pussy. You whimpered when your walls contracted around nothing, already missing the feeling of his fingers. 

Daniel swung his leg over the stationary bike and stepped into your space. As quickly as the rest of his movements, he took the two fingers he had in your cunt, glistening and covered in your milky fluids, and shoved them into your mouth, pushing his middle and ring finger down on the length of your tongue as his thumb pressed to the underside of your chin. In this controlled position, he steered you to walk backwards.

His face was tired, but amused in a cruel way. His smirk told you that whatever he did, it was going to feel good. And that he needed it just as much as you did. 

“Always gagging for it.” He chuckled as he shoved you back. 

Your hands flew behind you as you fell against the weight rack that was set up by the mirrored wall. His smirk grew into a grin as he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you forward, just to turn you around and push your shoulders down. Bent over the weight rack, your cheeks heated as you felt him flip your shirt up over your ass before a harsh slap came down on it. 

“Spread ‘em.” he told you as he kicked one of your ankles away from the other. 

Your eyes almost rolled back from the tone. Daniel didn’t always get like this, but when he did it was delicious. You knew he needed this, and you loved to give. You reached between your legs and pushed yourself up on the tips of your toes. You used your fingers to spread your lips almost to the point of pain to show him your pussy. 

It almost sounded like he was talking to himself when he said, “So pretty and pink, but I like it white and red.”  

That was all the warning you got before the blunt, thick head of his cock pressed to your entrance. You allowed yourself a low whine as he pushed forward, the pressure against your cunt making for an intense stress even though you had just been gushing into his hand just moments before. When his head busted through, you felt the ‘pop’ of your inner muscles giving way before he shoved himself half inside, his thick length sunken into your depths fully a moment later. 

“Daniel!” you yelped. 

You whined and whimpered, your hips moving back and forth in a bid to get more comfortable, but Daniel’s grip was unforgiving. He held you in place as he pushed his hips forward, the thickened tip of his cock spreading your cunt open from the inside out. You could barely stand the pressure between your legs as it grew. 

“Don’t be so fucking loud.” He hissed as he knocked his rhythm up with your pussy. 

You gripped the weights underneath your hands and hummed, holding back your moans and yelps with your tightly shut lips. The weights’ edges dug into your palms as you squeezed them desperately. You were somehow able to keep in place and not get knocked forward with each harsh thrust from your lover. 

Daniel, meanwhile, moaned and groaned behind you, his growls and teeth that scraped against your neck made you wetter. You could hear his satisfied sounds each time he shoved into a fresh puddle of slick inside of you. You gushed for him, your cunt desperately trying to keep up with the rigorous sex you were getting. 

“Fuck.” you gasped as you felt him lean back and lift his hips up into you, “Just like-”

“You’ll take it how I give it.” He cut you off. 

Your eyes rolled back as his fingers sunk into your hair and pulled. Your head tilted all the way back until you were against his collarbone, your back bent in a delicious angle that made him bump your cervix. The sweet pain made your lips part with a moan. 

“That’s it, baby.” Daniel mumbled in your ear, “Just let me take care of you.” 

His harsh tone but soft words made your thighs shake as your cunt twitched. He growled with the sudden suction. Your cunt sucked his cock better than your mouth ever could, and the constant faucet between your legs made your hole the wettest he’d ever had. He knew how to play your body better than you did. He could get you wet in seconds, make you cum in minutes. And you were well on your way to a mind numbing orgasm if the knot above your clit was anything to go by. 

“You gonna cum on me, hm?” Daniel grunted and spanked you again before he slapped your lower belly and planted his hand flat on you, “Right here, baby.” 

His fingers teasingly stroked the soft skin before his hand pressed down. Your world ignited into star-like explosions as the pressure he supplied made the knot in your pelvis pop, the pressure of your orgasm unraveling while your cunt squeezed him the hardest. 

“Fucking hell.” 

Daniel thrusted erratically a few more times before he stilled. You whimpered as you felt his member swell before the heat of each stream of cum painted your insides. Your eyes rolled back as little after shocks of your orgasms rocked you with each heated gush inside of you, every twitch of his cock as he unloaded inside of you. The heat of his body suddenly felt like too much, the moving heat of his sac pressed against your sore lips as they jolted with each spray of cum made you feel beyond sensitive.

Instead of making out words, you whimpered louder and lifted a cramped hand in the air.

“Alright, alright, love.” Daniel slurred as he pressed a sloppy kiss to your shoulder.

Your body jolted as he pulled out of you, the weight that had anchored you in place suddenly gone. Your thighs pressed together and your cunt contracted, the overfilled feeling of his cum and your own juices made you feel like you had a water balloon inside of yourself. 

“Fuck me.” you groaned as you turned on shaky legs to face Daniel. 

When you looked at Daniel, you were shocked. He already had his pants pulled up, with a smug look on his face. The only thing that gave away what had just happened was the half hard outline of his cock, complete with the wet tip making a spot in the crotch.  

“Go run back to bed now.” Daniel said matter of factly before he smacked your ass, “Think you can sleep now?” he teased in a dark tone as he leaned forward and kissed your cheek. 

You watched dumbfounded as he walked back to the stationery bike and climbed on, his half hard cock completely ignored as he began pushing the pedals. Shocked, you straightened up on shaky legs.

“Aren’t you coming back to bed?”

“No.”

“No? Daniel, you need sleep.”

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” his sarcastic tone told you the conversation was over.

You climbed back into bed in a daze, your cunt wet and making low squish sounds as Daniel’s cum begin to drip from you. 

“Hmmm... Where’d you go?” Michael’s deep rumble brought you back to yourself, his strong arms pulled you against him. 

“Danny.” you answered breathlessly.

Michael’s body stilled as he nosed at your hair and then your neck. You stopped breathing when his hand went from your side to lower, until he grasped your sleep shirt and pulled it up to your sternum.

“I can smell him on you.” 

You swallowed as his hand pushed between your thighs and froze when it reached your wet center.

Quicker than you thought he was capable of in such a sleepy state, Michael shimmied down the bed.

“Michael, please-”

“Hush, darling.”

You sighed and lifted your hips as he spread your thighs and dug in to eat Daniel out of you.

-

Michael squatted down and tied his shoes. They were his best running shoes for when he wanted to sneak out the house early. They had almost no grip on the bottom, so he could put them on and move silently through the house without worrying about waking you or Daniel.

Not that he had to worry about waking Daniel. Cause Daniel wasn’t in bed when he woke that morning. 

If he was being honest, he teetered between angrily annoyed and sickeningly concerned for his boyfriend. And even in his reddest moments, he knew he was only feeling angry or frustrated because of that worry and concern he harbored for his love. He wanted Danny light again, wanted him smushy and cuddly and just Danny again. 

In a way that he kept pushing down, he felt pouty. He had really missed holding Daniel. And kissing him. 

If he’d just listen, he thought to himself, if he’d just let me talk to him and actually listen- maybe it could help us figure out what’s eating away at him. 

Michael could feel himself slipping into that worried mindset when he heard the back door he was headed towards slide open. 

“Hey, did you already go out?” Michael said gently, his own ears not quite keen on the volume of his own voice so early. 

Daniel stood in front of him, sweaty and clearly spent from the way his shoulders seemed to sag on his sides. He was fully dressed and the way he panted and looked gave Michael the idea that he had been out for who knows how long.

Way too long by himself. 

Daniel gave him a cold look and curtly nodded, “Yes, duh.” He gestured to his absolutely soaked attire.

“Was it raining?”

“No.”

“No?”

“That’s what I just said.” Daniel bit out as he yanked his sweatshirt off and put his glistening abs on display. 

On any other morning, Michael’s brain would’ve screamed ‘lick’. But not this morning. Not when Daniel looked leaner than normal, when his cheek bones were more pronounced, when the dark around his eyes made him look worn out beyond the physical. 

“Are you alright, darling?” He asked softly as he stepped into Daniel’s space to stop him from walking around him.

“Yeah, I’m tired.” He bit out.

“How long had you been going for?” Michael gently lifted his hand to his hip and frowned as he felt the sharp of his hip bone under his thumb. 

Daniel squirmed away and exploded, “Honestly, what the fuck do you want from me? Huh?” Michael stood there dumbfounded as Daniel held his arms up as he continued walking away while getting louder, “You’re on my ass about getting my head straight and keeping fit but all the sudden I go for a run before you, and that’s a problem?”

“Danny, I-”

“Fuck you. Go run by yourself.” 

Michael grabbed Daniel when he tried to rush past him, his hand loosely clasped around Daniel’s wrist when Daniel rounded on him and pushed him into the wall. Michael let out a surprised sound as his back thudded against the wall, and made another as Daniel dropped to his knees. 

“Dan-”

“Shut up.” 

Daniel growled as he planted his hands on Michael’s hips. He paused for a moment and looked up at his lover with a questioning gaze. When Michael nodded dazedly, Daniel’s fire reignited and he yanked Michael’s shorts down to his ankles in one pull.

“Always think you know everything.” Daniel grumbled.

Michael almost said something back, a little bit of his brain recovered as he got a better hold on what was going on. But it was short lived. Daniel leaned forward and took his soft cock right into his mouth. Michael gasped as his hot mouth closed around him and sucked wetly. His mouth was practically an ocean inside, a hot, wet ocean that knew how to suck without any teeth.

“Think-“ Daniel sucked hard before he popped his lips back off his length, “think just cause you got this big dick-“

He didn’t even finish his own sentence.

Daniel curled his tongue around the soft head and used his lips to pull at the base of Michael’s cock. He listened to beautiful choked off sounds Michael made as he felt the Aussie’s member harden and lengthen in his mouth. Daniel stubbornly kept his nose against Michael’s groin and forced his lover’s length down his throat as it grew. Michael let out a yelp when Daniel suddenly pulled back and dragged his front teeth over the shaft before he deep throated the whole dick and bobbed his head aggressively. 

“Fuck, Danny, darling-”

Michael whimpered when suddenly all that wet saliva, all the heat of his mouth and breath on his sensitive length disappeared and made way for the cold air to touch his drenched, heated skin.

“Wha-”

Daniel pushed himself to his feet, his own cock tented in his shorts as he wiped his hand across his mouth, “Finish yourself off.” He growled before turning on his heel.

Michael looked at him shocked as he continued down the hallway until he was out of sight. He felt his cheeks burn, already knowing he wasn’t going to disobey. His mind began a rerun of the last five minutes as his hand raised from his side and wrapped around the engorged flesh that hung with it’s own heartbeat between his thighs. His eyes fluttered close as he found the velvety flesh slippery as it was shiny, the glide of his hand smooth as the sound of the wet fist he fucked filled the silence his lover left him in. 

He didn’t even hear your footsteps until you yelped in surprise. 

His eyes snapped open, but his strokes stayed steady as he looked at you from across the room. His eyes were half lidded and his head leaned back against the wall as your gazes met. 

“Danny?” you asked. 

He bit his lip as his eyes shut and he nodded. his hand twisted the tip of his cock on the upward stroke once and then twice. 

His eyes opened to the sight of you approaching. Still jerking himself off, he whimpered as you sunk to his knees in front of him, leaned your head back and opened your mouth. Sticking your tongue out, you gave him the landing spot he needed to tumble over the edge.

-

You and Michael had discussed your game plan twice that morning. 

You’d both noticed that after his noontime run, Daniel liked to lay on the couch and watch TV for about a half hour before he wandered off to the next restless activity he could find. It seemed like the perfect time to corner him. 

While you and Michael had enjoyed the hard to get game Daniel was playing, and enjoyed the mean dominance he exuded- it was hard to feel completely good about it when they thought about why he was acting the way he was. 

There was no softness to this Danny, no vulnerability. You both just wanted your shared lover whole again.

You were first to bounce over to the couch.

“Hey, baby.” you chirped as you sat at one end of the couch. 

Daniel grumbled back to you, his grunts the only reaction he gave you. You didn’t rise to his bait, and instead stayed silent next to him, and pretended to watch the show he had on. You could feel his eyes on you and feel the couch shift as he fidgeted. 

“Hey.” Michael nodded as he sat down on the far end of the couch, effectively placing Daniel between you both. 

With a huff, Daniel crossed his arms across his chest. But he didn’t move to get up and you counted that as a win. You kept your eyes on the TV, but didn’t pay it any mind. You leaned on to your hip and slowly let yourself sink to the side, into Daniel. When your bent knees landed in his lap and your temple was pressed to his shoulder, you froze. 

When no sound or movement of rejection came, you melted into him. Shamelessly, you threw your leg over his and curled yourself around his side. Throwing your arm around his chest, you nuzzled your face on to his chest. Without a word, Daniel lifted his arm and wrapped it around you. 

Your eyes watered as you realized it was the first moment of soft attention you’d been gifted from your tumultuous lover since you all came home. 

Daniel’s chin brushed against the top of your head, “What about you?” He whispered.

Your eyes shut when you heard the kiss your lovers shared. You smiled when you heard the sweet words mumbled softly to each other. They’d be alright.

Overwhelmed by the incessant heat and tingling in your chest, you leaned up and grabbed Daniel’s beard, turning his head so you could press his lips to yours. The kiss was chaste but sweet, and you were overjoyed by it.

When you pulled away, Michael was waiting.

“So you done being a cunt?”

Daniel chuckled and nodded, his smile rising as quick as it was falling, “Fuck, m’sorry.” He choked out.

You and Michael crowded around him and cocooned him in your warmth as he trembled with barely contained emotion. You could feel the errant tears that landed in your hair, but didn’t say a word. You would stay quiet until he calmed. Luckily, you didn’t have to wait long.

“Baby, what happened?” You prodded gently.

When Daniel shook his head, Michael pushed.

“Darling, please talk to us.”

Daniel lifted his head and you both pulled back a bit to give him space, “Can we- can we talk about it later?”

You shared a look with Michael before you both nodded, “As long as you promise to talk about it before bed.” Michael stipulated.

Daniel nodded obediently before pulling you both back, “Just want to feel you both. Fuck, it’s nice being held.”

“Can hold you all night.” Michael cooed.

“Fuck. Wait-“ Daniel pressed a kiss to your cheek before he looked between you both, “Can I, can we” he looked at Michael, “can you take me?”

You bit your lip as you nodded encouragingly. You could both make Daniel feel cared for in your way.

Daniel surprised you by kissing you hard. He gently pushed you and moved with you as he gave Michael the room to pull off his clothes. The taller Aussie loved getting naked, and was bare in no time. When Daniel pulled away, you whimpered at the drunken look on his face.

“Reckon you need a little bit of a punishment, huh?” When Daniel nodded, Michael cocked his head towards the bedroom, “Better get moving.”

Daniel pouted as he looked up at Michael, but only for a moment before his expression deflated into obedience. He stood to his feet and padded down the hallway. You and Michael watched him the whole way, until he was out of sight.

“What do you think?” Michael’s hand grazing your face made your attention turn, “What should we do to him?”

You licked your lips and blindly wrapped your fingers around his half hardened dick. It was warm against your palm as you gently tugged on it.

“I got some ideas.”

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Chapter Three: If We Have Each Other.

~When the world's not perfect When the world's not kind If we have each other then we'll both be fine. I will be your brother and I'll hold your hand. You should know I'll be there for you. I will always be there for you~

"Dude, we are in some serious jelly," I proclaimed as I paced around the small perimeter of the tree house.

"And that jam!" Isaac added from where he remained sitting at the table.

"Tight spot."

"Indeed!"

"Up a tree!" I supplied.

"Lost in the grass!" He offered. I swung around, shaking my finger at him.

"I'll tell ya what's grass, our- AAH FRACKLES!"  I had stepped on a stray nail in one of the floorboards. Hobbling my way back into my chair, I thunked my head against the table.

"But look at the bright side." Isaac leaned back in his chair. "Seeing as how our grand-theft-hairbrush is going viral and all, there is still a chance that me flipping the camera off could become a meme!" He pointed out. Slowly, I raised my head to stare at him.

"Are you kidding me right now?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"Consider it, Marty! All it took was five years being dead and now I'm finally fulfilling my life-long dream! If I'd known it was this easy, I would have killed myself a long time ago and spared me all that drama and emotional damage," Isaac smirked. I shook my head, my gaze drifted back to the Vader figure and snow globe sitting side-by-side on the shelf.

"Please don't talk like that Isaac," I sighed. Isaac's face fell.

"Sorry, I-I wasn't thinking," He apologized. I nodded.

"It's okay." It wasn't, but what more could be said when you didn't want to speak?

"Hey," Isaac spoke softly, ducking his head to get me to look at him, "Even if things go sour, I'm gonna be here for you. Just like I promised. Through thick and thin, remember?"

"Through thick and thin."

Smiling weakly, I repeated our life long mantra. I took a deep breath and focused back in on the problem.

"Alright, man. We gotta figure out a game plan. That video is gonna bring every hunter and their mom up here to ice our, or my, gluteus maximus. And if they know about the minimart then they know about the hospital. So, what's our play?"

"Well, I say you use your Sweet-Talkin' thing and talk any o'those alcoholic weirdos out of it," Isaac suggested. I shook my head.

"Isaac, you know how much I hate doing that."

Although it was a tempting idea, that wasn't something I wanted to mess with. If you start playing with the dark things, the dark things start playing with you. That wasn't a concept I liked, but Isaac would never understand that.

"I'm just saying it’s an option! And an easy one at that," Isaac pushed. I glared at him.

"I'm not doing that."

"It might come to it, Marty. I'm just saying as a plan C it-"

"The answer is no! Moving on." My tone killed and buried the subject. Isaac raised his hands in surrender.

"Fine. But misinformation is still our strongest tool. We should use it. Tell anybody who asks that it was all done on a computer," He conceded.

"Alright, that's plan A. What's plan B?"  Isaac's face twisted in thought. I let him do any and all planning when it came to telling a lie because he was so much better at making it convincing than I was. Isaac was the king of spouting believable bull crap. In fact, he would have made and excellent demon. That guy could probably get an angel to sell its soul for a box of holy doughnuts. When the idea hit Isaac's brain, I could almost see a light bulb light up above his head. He leaned forward, exited.

"Okay, I got it. We make up some BS story about a gay black dude who got chopped up by the ferry or something and the hospital wouldn't help him because all the doctors were racist homophobes, and it was the 50's." He nodded at me very seriously. Like I said, Isaac was king.

"That's is the worst, most ridiculous and stupid story I have ever heard," I told him. Isaac's nodding grew more excited. "It's perfect. They'll buy every word. Just one thing though, what about the mini-mart?" I pointed out.

Isaac opened his mouth before closing it again. Then he opened it. Then he closed it. Open. Closed. Open. Closed. This happened several more times before he finally came up with something good.

"So, our gay black guy was also a nice hobo dude and after he died he started stealing crap to give to his hobo buddies." Isaac gave me a thumbs up. I nodded.

"Okay, sounds good, sounds good. How do we explain me?" I splayed my hands. Isaac huffed and rolled his eyes, leaning back again and tucking his hands behind his head.

"Well, that’s easy. The camera never even caught a glimpse of your face, so you're his anonymous theft buddy slash item distributer!" He explained. I grinned at my fantastic phantasmal co-conspirator.

"Excellent, and of course nobody knows who the thief is. Especially not, innocent little me!" I chuckled at his brilliance.

"Exactly!" Isaac smirked.

"It's perfect! Except one last thing. We're gonna need some eyes and ears in on this. Someone to alert us when someone fishy comes lurking about," I said. Isaac nodded seriously.

"You're right. But who can we trust around here?" He asked. I could feel the smile split across my face.

"I can think of only one man for this job. A man as trustworthy as he is slimy. A man scrubbed clean by his own filth. A man so wonderful, words do him no justice!" I declared dramatically. Isaac was confused for a moment before realization dawned. His face fell.

"Please tell me you're not thinking what I think you're thinking."

"I think I am." I grinned. Isaac just sighed.

"Marty, no."

"Marty, yes!"

- 45 minutes later-

"Yo! Danny, my man! How's life?" I called out. Dan-the-Dope-Man looked up from...whatever it was he was doing outside Copper Harbor's one and only pharmacy. The pharmacy which he, in fact, owned. Honestly, I didn't want to know exactly what he had been doing behind the pile of cardboard boxes that were stacked up against the moldy brick. I figured it was better if I didn't. Dan smiled a grin that was missing two teeth.

"Marty! My worst customer and only friend! Life's good!" He greeted me, kicking a few of the boxes over to hide whatever suspicious activity it was that he had been up to. He winked and walked over to me, pushing his absolutely disgusting blond hair out of his face. "But, you know, business is betta'," He concluded.

I could never tell how tall Dan was, in this form especially. See, Dan-the-Dope-Man was a shapeshifter, though of course, no one else in the town knew that. That's how he was the owner of the pharmacy as well as a drug dealer. His other form, Jonathan De’ Santos, was the tall, 40-year-old, honest-looking Hawaiian man that ran the pharmacy. In this form, however, Dan was a somewhere-in-the-upper-five-foot-range Caucasian guy from Brooklyn with a thing against bathing. He said that the grungy, sewer-rat look was better for his side business. I wasn't sure how much of that I bought, but then again, who's gonna buy drugs from the guy who's supposed to make sure you don't destroy yourself with them.

"I bet it is!" I said, taking a step back when he reached me because, like I said, the guy had a thing against hygiene.

"This is a terrible, terrible idea," Isaac muttered, leaning on the wall to my left. I couldn't reply to him because although Dan knew what I was he didn't know about Isaac. So all I could do was give him a rude gesture behind my back. He saw it and stuck his tongue out at me.

"What can I do fo' ya, Marty?" Dan always pronounced my name as 'Mawty' at least in this form as it had a Brooklyn accent.

"Well, o' Danny boy, I have some rather bad news to deliver," I continued, "There might be some hunters coming to town soon."

Dan frowned; his eyes narrowed at me as he folded his arms over his chest.

"Well, that ain't good. Whatt'id ya do, Marty?" He asked. Sometimes Dan could be like my older brother, even if he didn't realize it.

"Woah, woah, woah! Who said I did anything?!" I defended. Dan just raised an eyebrow.

"You're always showin' off and ya know it," He said simply.

"He's right, you know," Isaac interjected. I wished I could tell him to shut his eidolic cake hole. It wouldn't have made much of a difference if I could, as he would still have continued talking, but the principle remained the same. Isaac was annoying. He needed to shut his mouth now and again. But I couldn't say that right now because he was a flipping ghost and ghosts are invisible. Mostly.

Ignoring Isaac, I opened my mouth to try to argue with Dan but quickly closed it again when found that I couldn't, because he was absolutely right. Now, I couldn’t admit that to him because Isaac was right here and that would be saying that he was right about something, and that was a thing I would never hear the end of.

"In regards," I started again.

"You'd just say 'regardless'," Isaac chimed in. I had to physically bite my tongue to keep from screaming at him to shut up.

"Regardless," I corrected. Isaac chuckled. I really needed to get myself some iron gauntlets or something so I could give his apparitional arse an involuntary appendectomy. Or just an iron ring so I could punch him in the face.

"Regardless, it wasn't me. This time. It was some attention seeking moron with a computer. That combined with my little hospital trips and you get something fishy looking." I finally managed to finish my sentence without Isaac chiming in.

"Well then ya betta' keep ya head down, Marty. I don' wan' ya gettin hurt." A dark look crossed over Dan's usually upbeat face. "Or worse," He finished.

"I know Danny, which is why I need you to do something for me," I said. Isaac sighed and face palmed but I ignored it.

"What?" Dan asked.

"I need you to watch out for any newcomers asking weird questions. I've got a plan if any hunters get too close to us, I just need to know who and where they are," I told him.

See, the pharmacy, the mini-mart, the bar, and the barber shop all sat across from each other at a four way intersection. Thus, Dan would have an excellent view of any hunter's first two targets. The origin of the supernatural activity, in this case the mini-mart, and the bar. He would be the perfect spy. Dan looked at me strangely.

"Say, Marty, you ain't plannin' on gankin' any a' dose' suckas' now are ya?" He asked, caution evident in his voice. I sighed, shaking my head internally. This was just another downside of being what I was. Everybody thinks you're a murderer. Though I knew I was far from innocent, I had never killed anyone. At least, anyone who didn't deserve it.

"Come on, Danny. In all the time you've known me, have I ever, er, ganked anyone?" I asked him, spreading my hands as if to catch the obvious answer.

"Well, no. But people can change," Dan pointed out. I rolled my eyes.

"Dan, I'm not gonna kill anyone. There, ya happy?" I said, only mildly aggravated. Isaac decided it was time to speak up again.

"You may not. But I will. If it comes to that. I won't let anybody hurt you, Marty. Not again. Not when I can do something about it."

I knew he was saying this now so I wouldn't be able to argue with him. Then I would forget and if he did kill someone Isaac would say he'd said he would. I ground my teeth together and reminded myself that it wasn't going to come to that. I wouldn't let it.

Meanwhile, Dan thought about what I'd spoken aloud.

"Yeah okay, but if anybody comes sniffin' I'm skippin', kay?" He agreed. I nodded.

"Okay, take care of yourself, Danny."

"You too, Marty." I smiled at him and began to walk away. Isaac pushed himself off the wall and trudged behind me, complaining loudly.

"Make sure you take care of yourself too, Issac! I'd hate myself if anything happened to you, Isaac! I wouldn't be able to survive without you, Isaac! Thanks Marty, your friendship means everything to me!" He said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Ugh! Why do I even bother?"

I smirked giving him the sign for 'I love you' behind my back.

"Aw shut up!"

But I knew he was smiling.

~So, I'm thankful for my sister even though sometimes we fight When high school wasn't easy, she's the reason I survived. I know she'd never leave me and I hate to see her cry. I just wanna tell her that I'm always by her side. I just wanna tell her that...

The worlds not perfect, but it’s not that bad. If we've got each other and that’s all we have I will be your brother and I'll hold your hand You should know I'll be there for you When the world's not perfect When the world's not kind If we have each other then we'll both be fine I will be your brother and I'll hold your hand You should know I'll be there for you.

I will always be there for you.~

Lyrics from: If We Have Each Other by Alec Benjamin

[currentfandomkick]

Atm too much on plate to personally, but can add more Chaos Options for everyone’s amusement

Dan is mentioned by Jazz and Danny on occasion. No one gets why the two won’t answer questions about him until a green stickynote covers a camera when asked in an interview and said stickynote states ‘stop invoking supernatural timeline criminals’. Danny’s only response when asked to elaborate is ‘oh, dude went omnicidal after his fright was slaughtered in a GZ part of IR specific political assassination by the Eyeball brigade. And if those idiots haven’t forgotten, i beat his ass and got amity to the correct dimension, place in time, and location in said aspect of spacetime on my first try no training. I can and will switch from IR anthropology track to learning magic out of spite if they start up on assassinations again. Yes that is a threat because you already know what I’m like with basic sigils. Do you really want me to be aware of what i’m capable of, or are you going to leave me to my timeline as is?”

The responding stickynote in a pale green read ‘we agreed to the cease and desist. Cease invoking your corrupt kin.’

Jazz’s only comment on the matter is to hum and go ‘IR denizens have more intrapolitical drama than expected. And the seers are horrified since my brother is a possible candidate as the United Zone’s next leader. Which he’s refused multiple times. And as a reminder to the eternal voyeurs? I watch back’

Dani and Danny going over their relationship and Dani/Ellie slowly growing into the same Ellie for her human form as she starts identifying not as Danny’s Clone or Vlad’s Failed Experiment but as another menace in the Lex Gen Sibs.

Let jazz be the truly terrifying one and let her go after lionel mentally. Girl deserves an apprenticeship with Nocturne and is allowed to use Lionel as her gineua pig after he tries to target her siblings

Arguments during Uno Revenge between the Extended Luthor Family (add Mercy and Lena. Possibly Kara—depends on version you like). Show the messy alliances and Jazz’s nightmare competitive streak with Kon’s ‘i don’t need to win—i need x to lose!’. Have this be what JL bug catches. Bonus if Dani is there and the JL catches Luthor checking on both Dannies form ‘stability’ and asking if either wants to do a check after or not. Danny rolls with being tested while Dani asks if they’re taking core difference into account as ‘my doc said my water core means i can reform from goop form as long as there’s emotions nearby.’

Luthor’s Alarmed Dad Face is caught and him immediately bulldozing to find ways to help her and theorizing aloud is oddly comforting to the kids. Especially as Danny is shown to mother hen Dani instead of Jazz as the JL expected.

Kon rambling about Tim is similarly caught on the bug as he discusses Tim with Danny while Danny is seen visibly tinkering and muttering about ‘ethics of checking Library Of Possible for a cure to varied illnesses unsolved in this timeline. Tim is fixated on kon’s portion. And Bi Crisis continues.

Steph and Tim being in the phase of their relationship where they are both doubting their romantic feelings for the other. Tim is aware he’s attracted to Kon and Danny (to his own horror). Steph is debating if she likes Tim better as a friend (shit is MessyTM)

Paulina turns into a dragon at a gala when a rogue has the brightest idea to try and take her necklace. It is returned by a sighing Danny publicly with a ‘hey, Paulie, Paulie! I got it back, can we do a big yell at the sky and then look at me? Great, do you want me to put it on you?’

Oddly this works. Paulina is seen grumbling about idiots taking from Her Hoarde. Danny is seen as openly sympathetic while Billy Batson asks Paulina if she wants any help getting in touch with the dragon community in Fawcett.

Danny and Kon hate a lot of reporters (Clark Kent is at the top of the list for Ignores Them Reasons) but genuinely like Billy and only let him handle interviews

Danny is publicly reminded he is not allowed in Gotham without escort after they found out instead of having a fear response or any normal response to Gotham Specific biological warfare, his body processes it and the corrupt ecto combined as Ghostnip. He requires a minder or else he WILL find Mr. Freeze, and give the guy a summon for Frostbite. The goal is to avoid him giving out Overgrowth to Ivy.

Kon is caught rough housing with Jazz and Danny and Dani regularly. When the paparazzi tries to spin it as ‘evil signs’ Kon is seen raising an eyebrow and stating ‘holy fuck, i forgot how many flavors of bigot there are.’

Danny and Jazz then casually dropping ‘oh, yeah, because our mad scientist bios forgot lab safety in the IR we qualify as denizens around blob ghosts level. danny is worse since the accident, but oops’d into being bi-dimensional on top of being oops kids two times over.’ ‘Kon was planned by dad. Ellie was planned with her late brothers and still had health complications, but she’s liminal too.’

Kon is out here ready to rumble if you insult his siblings, thanks.

Jazz can and has been seen taking out multiple people and disarming guns before handing them to Danny. Who disassembles them to scrap metal in moments with a manic glint in his eyes. Jazz openly states she’s not allowed long distance weapons as she has her birth father’s aim. Danny is caught taking out aliens with their own tech as a civilian when one of them had the audacity to call Lex ‘the shiny one’

Public learned Danny did not get his bio father’s aim, and can understand multiple alien languages as ‘liminal thing. I suck at speaking them unless its the fun words or sayings. Russian and Catonese are more my speed for speaking day to day.’ When asked about his skills fighting, he reports ‘i’m still waiting for invasion drills at school. We had them bi-weekly in Amity and everyone learned what roles we do best. Lead three counterattacks for my year during a few major invasions when Phantom was handling GZ things.’

Dani routinely caught climbing her siblings like a squirrel while Danny is always fiddling with Something.

When asked why danny is good at drawing he actually looks confused as he states ‘no? I’m pretty awful since this is supposed to be a scientific sketch and i’m way off scale.’ Danny is only off by millimeters.

Kon is the most ‘adjusted’ as he has a lack of life experience, and harasses Sam, Tucker and Paukina’s crew for information. Asking Jazz gives him a headache.

Dani is asked her age at one point in a Live and answers with ‘uh, in months i think I’m 13 and a half now?’

Public loses it as Ellie is now a Confirmed Clone (she never hid it? Was that a thing to hide?) while all of Amity Park tags pics from the day Dani visited Casper High with a tag of ‘literally everyone clocked that. Why is this news?’

Lex is seen with people demanding he explain why he cloned Danny.

Lex denies cloning Danny.

Clark is about to jump on ‘but you cloned someone!’ Route when an overwhelmed Dani goes ‘should i not have been made?’ In a confused-scared-vulnerable tone that hits clark with a Guilt Brick.

Danny ruffles her hair while Kon hops in with “ask vlad masters. He’s the one who cloned Danny Senior over here.”

Danny and Jazz answer with ‘Danny/my evil godfather obsessed with our bio mom. And Danny since he met him at a college reunion.’

Danny points out he met his clones and watched them die, rates it as ‘-100/10’ and carries Dani off stage while Kon raises an eyebrow at the press and looks So Damn Luthor it hurts before stating congratulations, you made a child who has less than two years of existence under her belt cry. Hope you’re all so proud of how Lionel you all are,” before escorting jazz and Lex off stage.

Let Tim’s only interaction with this be ‘i am batman’s emotional support robin, your turn to handle Clark wrangling… hey greta? Can you check on our little buddy? Thanks.’

Greta and Dani solidarity. This extends to any liminal they run into.

Kon being asked about the villains in his family and responding with ‘legally or vibes wise?’ Repeatedly throws off everyone. As which one has evil vibes is now hotly debated. Kon slips off and texts his friends a ‘so Jazz is the true Drama Queen of our family and terrifies me. She refuses to go Villian on principle but tell me how else she can get Grandpa Kidnapper to shut up with glance in trial? She owns it and uses it for good. For now anyways.’

Casper high commenting asking about the ‘sentient hotdog army’

Danny responds by sending an update video to social media (public, posted under wrong one) of the sentient hotdog drawer and him gifting the hotdogs more chicken wire and feeding them cooked carrots and onion.

The hotdogs are Pleased with Danny and Do Not Attack him. In the video he is heard stating ‘its been seven years since my bio parents fucked up so hard that not only could they not use our fridge without being attacked by their own oops creation, but that my ass imprinted on these violent terrors at pet shaped. Tomorrow is pretzel day as they are low on salt, but their teeth suck. Will be making gross oversoaked pretzels to make them happy.’ One is seen climbing into Danny hand and climbing up his arm. ‘Hey, i told you i cant give you my current phone. Don’t worry, touch screens suck… yes stabby, that’s my face. Do you want more blueberry mush?’

Public Loses It when they find out Fentons made abominations. And Danny adopted them in first grade.

Amity park just wants vids and calls most of public ‘weak sauce’ ‘cringefail’ and ‘lemmings’ in response

Danny and Sampson the Gorilla article resurfaces. Jazz is seen teasing Danny for overshadowing her interview. Danny’s defense of ‘i do not control the idiocy of researchers for not using sign and making clear approaches and following basic boundaries.’

‘Didnt sampson threaten to adopt you after that?’

‘In the GZ i think she’s got partial custody still—lemme ask wulf.’

Wulf seen showing up at Luthor Residence as he pleases to check up on Danny

Paulina and Sam arguing about safety standards for beauty products ans ethics of animal testing (Paulina and Sam know less than they thought. Luthor asks if they want to see the process and decide for themselves what alternatives there are.)

Tucker and Danny are a Know Tech Terror Team. Tim often joins to Bruce’s amusement and horror. They feed each other’s ideas in horrifying ways.

Tucker is a technomage. Tim makes apps that speedrun summoning. Danny is in call with Kon ans his friends when the two get too deep into coding magic. Kon cackles at Danny’s misery as ‘your not-boyfriend is stealing my bestie. Make him stop’

Kon refuses. It is good enrichment for their gothamite skater boy.

Danny is seen with a number of Infinite Realms Denizens, often with sparing. Superman keeps trying to intervene only he cant touch the ghosts and they find him Rude.

Combat = core communication aspect for Infinite Realms Denizens. Danny is asked to explain it and only says ‘you do realize they’re infinite and combat is fairly universal, right?’

Let Dani be a little shit. And prank Damian.

Bruce has decided he and Lex are in Tired Dad to Many Adoptive Kids solidarity.

Former Bruce, Lex and Oliver roommates. This is part of why Bruce and Oliver know Lex isn’t 1000% evil but can see through his BS.

fenton portal is brought to Metropolis against JL wishes. Danny stating ‘my grave my call’ haunts many JL members, especially as the magically inclined clocked Danny’s core latching onto Lex as ‘New FrightMate ElderMentorParent’ bond and Danny’s anxiety being far from the machine that killed him and leaving it in unknown hands.

Lex is openly called Dad by his kids. Liminals started it and Kon rolled with it

The fun of Pandora rocking up calling Danny Elipsis and Lex having a ‘did i adopt a demi-god’ panic

He did not (for now?) but Pandora is a Ghostly Parent to Dani and Danny. Danny has Frostbite as MentorElderFamilial bond too, but its more Uncle or Fave Adult Cousin than parental. Danny is not a god or godling, but is a symbol of Hope for the IR as the first out and about Veilborn/halfa since their genocide under Pariah.

Vlad vs Amanda Waller over GIW and the fake gov organization Legal Battle.

Metropolis demanding Amity return their ‘feral raccoon boy’ when Danny visits (he visits to check on the city spirit)

Mitten, amity’s city spirit, and Gotham have Unexplained Beef (gotham is Cursed. Amity is a master at creative curse application into blessings. Mitten is not explaining shit as Gotham keeps almost killing her favorite human.)

Babs, Tim, and Tucker are hacking buddies but unaware of it.

Realistic overturn of Anti-Ecto Acts with Waller leading the charge (JL is side eyeing this So Hard until Tucker and Danny are seen together and someone realizes Tucker is Waller’s youngest son. Then its ‘oh, Oh!’)

Kon, Tucker and Sam are required to have a fourth in the room. No one has worked out why Danny counts, but he does chill the trio out from their ego trips.

Main ships to sail/endgame? Danny and Val (romantic) with qpr everlasting trio, TimKon, Let Jazz Have A Love Interest (legit, anyone she has good chemistry with. I love her with Jason but idk if that works as well here given her direction so far, and too big of an age gap with Dick. Maybe an OC at this point or Other DC character. Tag your ideas or drop somewhere on post).

Let Lex go through a rollercoaster character arc and be the main thing stopping his kids from hunting Clark and Superman down.

Tim’s internal pain with realizing Kon is a rescue hero in training and hates Robin for spying hur has a crush in him as Tim. As a teen angst treat.

Clark is not Evil but the Antagonist for a long time. Also keeps trying to get Danny to move portal to Safer Place. Danny keeps it in a Luthor Lab, and public knows it’s Legally Danny’s but not why.

Danny makes Lex pay off loans, debts and housing/bills on gofundme. Dani/Ellie enjoys having Lex buy and forgive international debt.

Jazz makes him start up an insurance company non profit that doesn’t deny coverage for any reason. If you pay, you are covered. She refuses to let him close it unless there’s universal health car that’s both affordable and not prone to denting people their healthcare. Especially mental, psychological AND prescriptions! And disability accommodations dad! Fund it if youre going to be a stupid billionaire!

They keep this hidden from the public until Clark runs a story about the strange funds. Kids return with receipts for the exact amounts to their organizations.

Lex being liked by public for many of these with him citing his kids at each turn as ‘its important to give credit where it is due’

Clark realizing the change is Real and Sticking. Max confusion.

DC X DP PROMPT

Lex Luthor after years of r&d stumbles upon ectoplasm. He then uses this experimental fuel source to power his machines for years.

The GIW gets wind of this, the GIW who currently have both Jazz and Danny in containment after Maddie and Jack handed them over.

Lex finds these two children and for a moment he’s back in his childhood, remembering his father. His horrible drunkard of a father, and he sees red. When he calms down the GIW base is nothing more than a smoking crater and he is carrying the two children.

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Will Vought, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Actor, comedian, and writer Will Vought stars in the most recent season of the critically acclaimed dramedy series, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Additional television credits include The Good Wife, The Good Fight, both Lipstick Jungle and Love Bites, Bones, and Wilfred. Will is also an accomplished comedian, having toured the country opening for Wayne Brady. He got his start in the entertainment industry by contributing to Scott Shannon’s #1 morning show on 95.5 WPLJ, offering David Letterman updates and recaps, which opened the door for him to work for Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Following his work with Conan, Will was offered a position in the West Wing of the White House, working for former President Bill Clinton, where he still continued his radio work on the weekends as the youngest morning show host in the country at just 22 years old. Will went on to serve as head writer for Wayne Brady during his time hosting the The Late Late Show prior to James Corden in 2014 on CBS, and he continues to collaborate with renowned actor and comedian Paul Reiser, including shopping a television pilot they wrote together with Julie Bergman. We got the chance to ask him some questions. Check it out:

Do you have a favorite character arc from season 3 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?

For Season 3, I’m finding myself really interested in Susie and her journey. I don’t want to spoil it for those getting ready to start the new season or binge the series; however, in the first two seasons, Susie’s been hustling and primarily being of service to Midge while her personal life hangs on by a thread. In season 3, there are so many more layers introduced and opportunities that will ripple into not only her clout as a comedy manager but also her personal life. Also, I’m really invested in Lenny Bruce. Having read so much about him to see his plight on screen told through Amy’s lens is incredible. I don’t know anyone in comedy that doesn’t appreciate what Lenny Bruce did for comedians. The end of the Season 3 premiere is absolutely priceless seen thought the eyes of Tony Shalhoub’s Emmy Award-winning performance as Abe Weissman - Midge’s father.

If everything that you did was narrated, whose voice would you want narrating your life?

HA! That is a great question, and I’ve had to think about it. At first, I thought of the late great voice-over artist Don LaFontaine who moviegoers would remember as the “In A World…” guy who made millions voicing almost every movie trailer ever! BUT…truth be told I think that I would love Seinfeld's voice and lens, and I think it would make my day to day activities far more entertaining to listen to, especially when on the phone with my therapist.  

Can you tell us about a time you bombed (on stage or in an audition)?

Well…the thing that pops to mind was an audition for NBC’s series called Lipstick Jungle. At the time, I was living on Long Island and decided to make the mistake of driving into Manhattan for the audition. Traffic was abhorrent, and you would think that there were mass casualties on the Long Island Expressway resulting in me being almost an hour and forty-five minutes late for the audition. The director of that episode was the one and only Timothy Busfield, whom I loved on Arron Sorkin’s The West Wing. Tim played reporter Danny Concannon - Senior White House Correspondent.

I had no idea that Timothy was going to be at the audition and was mortified when I showed up and saw him in the room because I was so late. It’s not unheard of to not be seen at all if you are late, let alone hours late. I read for the part and left. Tim was gracious. A month later, I got a call saying that I didn’t book that role; however, they were writing me another role and wanted to hire me for it. While on set shooting, Tim told me that when they asked him if he had any ideas for the part and he said, “That guy who came in 2 hours late. He was great. Hire him.” So I thought I bombed — but it worked out in the end.

The USO Tour scene from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel broke the record for the most number of background actors used in a scene for tv in the state of New York (850). What was it like being a part of such a huge production?

I’ve never worked on Star Wars, but that’s what I was thinking of when we were filming that. It was by far the largest set I’ve ever been on, and yes there were almost 1000 background actors there for almost an entire week, who made up the audience of the USO show that you see in the season 3 premiere. When I met with Amy and Dan for the final audition for the role of Major Buck Brilstein, it was at Steiner Studios in Brooklyn in a small room that’s not much larger than a small studio apartment in Manhattan. It was the three of us and Emmy award-winning casting director Cindy Tolan. We did all the material from the episode, and to juxtapose that to being in an actual hanger with 1000 extras essentially filming a USO show that’s scripted — it was a historic moment in television that wasn’t lost on me.  

What was the audition experience like for your role on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?  

I kind of talk about that above. I had a great experience. As with anything, you have to go in a number of times, and then the final callback is with Amy and Dan Sherman Palladino. You are 2 feet away from her, there is a camera, and Cindy Tolan, the casting director, and you create the world and do the scenes — WORD PERFECT! That is a huge thing, and something I was told going in. Be word perfect every time. Their words are like notes on a page. Each one carefully picked and placed, and my job is to take them off the page and bring them to life with a sensibility of 1959 and a guy that’s a major in the army who always wanted to be a comedian but never really got the chance. So, my character is literally living his dream in this episode. Beyond that, you bring your A-game, nail it, and it’s up to Amy and Dan. It happened to go my way, and as I told Amy, I was grateful to get the invitation to play in her world. She wrote and directed this episode, so it was extra special.

Is there a specific role or moment that you feel has defined your career up to this point?

We’ll — this is pretty significant re: working with the Palladino’s.  I thought that The Good Wife was a big deal at the time — as I was part of Bob and Michelle King’s storyline that revealed Josh Charles’ character was murdered.  

It seems that I’m only allowed to act opposite actresses that have won 2 Emmy’s and 2 Golden Globes for Best Actress. LOL.  It’s truly a hard question to answer as each project is different, and as an actor, you hope that one job will open a door or opportunity to another.  That’s what I’ve found, at least over the past few years, so it’s certainly a slow burn.

Years ago, I was the low man on the totem pole at NBC’s Late Night with Conan O’Brien. I was an intern in the writing department under John Groff and often got the chance to appear in sketches on the show. This was an invaluable experience. There was an afternoon where I asked Conan (as I was cleaning his office) if he knew this was what he was going to do from the beginning. I’ll never forget what he said. He told me that, “In his wildest dreams he never thought he would be hosting a late night show.” He described show business as being on a highway. He was a writer in college, wanted to be a writer and set off on the highway with the goal of writing in mind. Along the trip, there were exits: Mad Magazine, The Simpsons, SNL. After each exit, he gets back on the journey. If you want to be a teacher or doctor or lawyer, you know exactly what to do. Go to X school for X years, and then they declare you as such. Boom. You’re it. Hollywood is not like that. Everyone’s path is so different, and how we get to where we are is almost inconsequential when compared to the culmination of the journey. I’ve been blessed to do a lot of different things so far and work with incredible talent that truly moves the needle in this business, and I hope for more opportunities.

What’s your favorite bit or joke from one of your stand-up sets?

I have a new bit I’m working on that’s fueled by my natural anger toward this situation.

I hate paper straws.

If this makes me a horrible person, so be it. If “they” think I don’t care about the EARTH or ENVIRONMENT and support the extinction of humanity because of this — so be it.

Paper straws? Really? Who did this make sense to? Who thought it was a good idea to combine PAPER and WATER?

I’m sure it seemed like a good idea at the time — but it doesn’t work. Three sips into my iced coffee and the thing has disintegrated, and I’m now drinking iced coffee and paper!

If you think paper straws are a good idea, let me ask you one question. Would you like to use a paper condom?

In the future, you’ll be standing in the rain telling your friend you can’t understand why she’s pregnant and soaking wet from holding the paper umbrella.

I will say that if we do switch to paper condoms …. I don’t know about the environment, but we will absolutely ensure the survival of humanity.

Lighting round! Describe each of the following in one word: Who you are, what you value the most, and what you’d be if you were a food item.  

I AM WILL VOUGHT.

I VALUE MOST: MY SON.

IF I WAS A FOOD ITEM, I’D BE A BEYOND BURGER!

What are you working on right now?

Right now, I’m working on sending out subliminal messages via Transcendental Meditation to Adam McKay for a coffee meeting that would result in being cast on the 3rd season of Succession on HBO.  I’d text him, but I don’t have his cell. Do you?

Thanks for taking the time, Will! Catch Season 3 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Prime Video. 

Photography: Emily Assiran | Grooming Laila Hayani | Styling: Natalia Zemliakova

[soda-drabbles]

Sick Day | Dan x Reader

Synopsis : After noticing you're having a sick day, Dan takes it upon himself to help.

Type : Fluff

Pairing : Dan x Reader

A/N : Here's some Dan shit since I barely write him here :')

“You aren't looking so hot.”

Dan's concerned tone mentioned to you after you had another rough coughing fit for the fifth time that day. After you cleared your throat, you ended up rolling your eyes playfully. “Gee, thanks, Dan.” You sarcastically said.

The two of you were at your place for the weekend. Sometimes Dan would either come to yours or Arin's place to hang out. The three of you would hang out together sometimes, just like today since Arin was meant to be coming over later as well.

Dan sat on the couch, one arm thrown over the top of it. His concerned face was directed towards you, who was in the kitchen. “I didn't mean it in that kind of way. You always look cute. I just meant that you look not that good, especially with that coughing fit.”

Your lips pressed together in slight annoyance. “I always look like this.” You folded your arms against your chest.

Dan cocked a brow, “You always look like you're pale as shit and about to pass out?”

You spun to him, head a bit dizzy. “..Yes.”

“You know that there's a stomach bug going around, right? It's completely normal for you to get sick and junk.” He suggested, yet you wouldn't budge.

The man on the couch sighed. Clearly, you weren't going to give in about the whole being sick thing. He stood and approached you. “I'm gonna call Arin and cancel the plans for now. You're clearly sick.”

“I'm not sick!” You struggled to find the words and when they did, they scraped your throat. It hurt like hell and it was clear in your voice, including the way you winced.

Dan's brows furrowed, his own lips pursed. “Look, why dont you go lay down on the couch for me. I'll head to the pharmacy and get what you need, okay? I'll even grab us food on the way.”

Throat too hurt to complain, you defeatedly gave in and plopped onto the couch. Dan relaxed a little and smiled. “Thank you. I'll be right back.” He then reached over to pat your head softly before he grabbed his coat and left.

During that time, you mostly sat there and stared at the ceiling for a good while. You felt as if you were on the verge of sleeping. The temperature was just right and you didn't need any covers, things were comfortable as they were. Just as you were nodding off, Dan rolled in with a couple bags.

“Wow, you actually stayed put.” He teased as he took a seat beside you and placed the bags down. All you could really do was pout at him since your throat was still sore.

Dan then pulled out some medicine from the pharmacy, mostly cough medicine and throat spray. “Alrighty, so I'mma need you to be a big girl for me and open wide.”

His sudden words brought a distinct flush from your cheeks and another coughing fit. “-What?”

Dan didn't think of how the words affected you, as he was more concerned about giving you the meds. “The cough medicine. Open up.” He said as he poured the red liquid in the cap.

He then handed it to you. You then downed the odd disgusting cherry mixture, a twisted grimace on your face. Dan couldn't help but laugh. “It doesn't taste that bad.”

“Danny, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to poison me.” You groaned.

He shook his head, a smile on his face. “Now let's do the throat spray.”

“..Throat spray?” You questioned, looking at him like he was crazy.

He laughed. “Its supposed to be something that you spray in your mouth and it coats your throat or something. School nurses use this stuff so it should be fine.”

You then attempted to use this 'throat spray' which thankfully wasn't as bad as you thought. Upon spraying, it gave you a soft tingle and numbness with a cherry-ish taste. It tasted better than that cough medicine did.

Dan smiled contently after you were done. “Is it helping anything?” He asked. You nodded.

“Yeah, kinda.” You shrugged, “The throat spray thing is kinda weird though, like, tingly and shit.”

Dan chuckled, his tone slightly teasy. “Now that wasn't so bad, was it?”

You folded your arms across your chest and let out a huff. He was looking at you like he knew he was right and of course you knew he was. “No.” A soft pouty mumble left your lips.

Dan snickered and lightly pinched your puffed pouty cheeks, “Aww, don't be like that~” His tone was soft yet teasy. Kind of like how you'd talk to a puppy who wasn't getting their way.

Your cheek burned in his hands, which were also warm. You didn't know if it was his warmth or if you were just blushing.

Afterwards, he pulled out some soup. Many kinds actually. “I wasn't sure what kind of soup you liked so I just kinda went ham and got a bunch.” He mentioned, smiling a little sheepishly. “I had already got you takeout but soup always does help a throat, especially when you're sick.”

Instead of pouting about how you weren't sick, you were silenced by the warmth that tingled your heart. It wasn't because of the cold either. Dan was such a kind person. He always went out of his way to help those who are close to him. You honestly couldn't think of a sweeter person. You wondered to yourself how exactly you got so lucky.

“(Y/N)?” Dan's voice broke through your thoughts, his confused face stared back at your own flushed face. “Are you okay? You seem kinda out of it.”

You nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I am. I just..” Your eyes met up with Dan's and a smile lifted your features. “I'm just thankful to have you.”

His once confused face turned to a relaxed grin. A laugh bellowed out of him. “You really must be sick. You never say that shit to me.”

Instantly, you huff and playfully shove his shoulder. “Let me be nice for once, yeah? Besides, its not like I don't think about that all the time.” A small hint of guilt riddled your voice. A part of you wished you let him know how amazing he was more often.

He smiled still, hand rubbing his arm as if it was sore from where you shoved it which of course it wasn't. “I'm kidding. I appreciate it, I really do.”

That warm feeling was bubbling up all over again. The pit of your belly burned and your chest tightened. You weren't one to go for the idea of love but..

Nope, just another coughing fit. One that brought Dan to rub your back and jump up to make some soup. After you could finally talk, he asked you what kind of soup you would like and of course, you chose good ol' chicken noodle. He instantly got to working at it while you settled on the couch and allowed your throat to rest.

You heard Dan hum to himself in the kitchen as he heated the soup up on the stove. You always loved his voice. A secret of yours was that whenever you missed him or just wanted to hear his voice, you'd turn on some Ninja Sex Party. On certain occasions, his voice would be able to put you to sleep. His voice was just so soft and smooth, perfect thing to both listen and sleep to.

He arrived back with a steamy bowl of chicken noodle and placed it gently on the coffee table. “I'd wait for it to cool down a minute before you dig in.” Dan suggested.

You took his advice, allowing the soup to cool for a bit. During this time, Dan put on a movie. You decided it was finally time to try the soup and thankfully, it was cooled enough. You tasted it and it was pretty good, as chicken soup could be.

Dan smiled down at you, admittedly not really paying attention to the movie. “How is it?”

You shrugged as you slurped some more soup. “I mean, its chicken noodle. Pretty good.”

He smiled, pleased with your response. “Good, it would've sucked if I just got shirty chicken noodle or something.”

Nightfall soon hit and somehow you found yourself with a blanket around you, your head rested against Dan's chest. His arm was around your smaller body, laced around your shoulder gently. The whole feeling was so warm and fuzzy, you thought you could just pass out.

“Dan,” You muttered tiredly, which got his attention. “You know you can go home, right? I'd hate for you to be cooped up here and get whatever the hell I got.”

His head was tilted towards you and the smile in his voice reassured you. “Come on, its the weekend. Plus, I don't exactly trust you alone when you're sick like this.” He hugged you close, his hand lightly squeezed your shoulder. “Are you sleepy?” He apparently noticed the tired tone in your voice.

“Yeah, you may have a point there.” You couldn't help but yawn at the mention of sleep. You snuggled more into his chest, not really realizing what you were doing. “Kinda.”

Dan leaned back, his own head leaned against yours. “Go ahead and take a nap. I'll be here when you wake up.”

All you could do was groan a little. “Goodnight, Danny.”

Dan smiled warmly and chuckled at your sleepy behavior. He closed his own eyes.

“Sweet dreams.”

[kattythingz]

Motherghost #9

Credit to @izumitaiki​ and @squishywritings​ for constantly fueling me with ideas and inspiration.

Serene Stability

Summary: Jazz wants to be as supportive as possible, especially now that her little brother is a parent. But she also has inner doubts of her own. Pure sibling fluff cuz I love these siblings damnit.

Words: 1,583

When it comes to the Phantom Family, there’s seldom a quiet moment. That’s not to say that Danny hates the chaos of it all, because he knows that he wouldn’t have it any other way, but it’s still nice to appreciate the silence every once in a while when Dani and Dan were resting in The Haunt.

Glancing up from the book in his hand, Danny looked to the luminous door to the left of his room. It was a little strange at first, he mused. The first time Danny had seen that door in his room, he thought his parents had done some renovations, but upon asking them, he’d received weird looks and a question of “What door?”

If he was being honest, it freaked him out a little. He knew that the door, The Haunt, was the Phantom “lair”, but his paranoia ate at him, and he often wondered if other ghosts could enter through that door as well. 

A talk with Clockwork soothed his worries, of course, so now the door was a constant reassurance, reminding him that the kids were safe and just napping (or whatever they did in their free non-Danny time.) 

Exhaling softly, he pulled his eyes away from the door to his book. Before he could get far into the page, his bedroom door was suddenly slammed open, spooking him enough to startle him and make him drop the book.

“Jazz!” He yelped. “Don’t scare me like that!”

“Sorry,” Jazz grinned. She walked in, picking up the dropped book along the way. “I just really need to show you-”

She paused when her eyes fell on the title, and Danny could feel heat spread all the way to his neck and ears when she let out a giggle. “Oh my god, is this-”

“No!”

“It is!”

Danny swiped at her hand. “Just give it back!”

“I can’t believe you’re growing so fast,” She wiped away a fake tear, laughing. “One moment you’re watching your baby brother learn to crawl, and the next thing you know, he’s reading books on parenting-”

“JAZZ!”

“Alright, alright,” she handed him the book. “You know, there’s no shame in this. You want to be the best parent you can for those kids, it’s very admirable.”

“Y-You think so?” He asked, feeling strangely shy in the face of his sister’s glowing expression.

“Yeah,” she smiled. She ruffled his hair when she added, “I’m very proud of you for that. For a lot of things, actually, but this especially.”

Danny squawked indignantly, but that was quickly replaced with another flush. “You can stop being embarrassing now,” he grumped. “What did you want to show me?”

Jazz noticed the blatant change of topic, but she let him get away with it for now. “So, you know how I have a scrapbook for all those newspaper clippings about you?”

How could he forget? It was very flattering, but it still made him feel uncomfortably warm every time she brought it out. “Yeah, what about it?”

“Well,” she sang, “I thought, why not make one for the whole family while I’m at it?”

“Oh god,” he groaned. “Please don’t tell me-”

“I did,” she grinned. 

“Why?”

“Why did I do it or why am I like this?”

“Both!” 

“I can’t help it,” her grin softened into a smile, and Danny could feel that warmth building up in his belly again. “I wanted to savor all those little moments and never forget them, and what better way than through a family album?”

“I… guess,” he ceded. 

“No need to be shy, Danny,” Jazz settled down next to him. “It’s perfectly okay to, as you would put it, ‘be sappy’ for a moment. They’re your family, aren’t they?”

No matter how embarrassing it was, he found that he nodded immediately, his core humming as though in agreement. “Yeah. They are. But so are you, and Mom and Dad-”

“I don’t mean by blood, even if they are, in some freaky ghost way-”

“Wow, thanks.”

“-I mean more along the lines of a found family. It’s psychologically proven that found family affects one’s psyche much more positively than a normal one would. And don’t think I haven’t noticed how much happier you are around them!”

“I am?” He asked, surprised. He’s never really noticed it directly, but he has noticed that when he was with Dani and Dan, he was more… content happy rather than just plain happy. And something about that small difference made it all the more fulfilling to him. Still, he felt kind of bad for casting his sister and his parents to second-best. They were his family, too.

“Jazz-”

“Danny,” she intercepted. She didn’t look bitter or jealous like he expected her to. Instead, she just looked happy, but not in the way that she was before. This happy was more of the resigned kind, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about that. “I know that look, little brother. Don’t even think about apologizing.”

“But-”

“No,” she repeated, firmly looking him in the eye. She put down the album so she could grab his hands, never looking away. “I know we’re your family, too, Danny, and I know you won't ever forget about us or cast us aside, but it’s hard not to notice the way you’re so much more at peace with them. And I understand. Around us, you’re just Danny Fenton. But around them… there’s no secrets. You can be both Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom, and you don’t have to worry about the what-ifs. You can just be.”

Danny swallowed. He wanted to deny this, that he sometimes felt unsafe and out-of-place around his parents, but he found that he couldn’t. It was the truth, and in the face of his sister’s unwavering honest eyes, Danny couldn’t bring himself to lie. She deserved better than that.

He looked down, unsure of what to say.

The sensation of a gentle hand on his face had him looking up. Jazz smiled, her hands soft and gentle and warm as she says, “I won’t ever feel bitter of the truth because they make you happy, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. How could I say no to that?”

“Jazz,” he uttered. Then, forcing the words out of his constricted throat, “You don’t understand-”

“Danny,” she sighed.

“No, not that,” he shook his head. Grabbing her hand, he steeled his eyes and said, “What you said is the truth. I do feel happier around them. I can’t deny that. But you forgot something important.”

“I did?” Her brows rose in surprise.

“Uh-huh,” He nodded, smiling when she pinched them thoughtfully, as she usually did when she realized she was wrong or didn’t know something. “You forgot you.”

“M-Me?” her voice rose ever-so-slightly like she couldn’t believe it. Like it honestly surprised her. Jeez, and she called Danny self-deprecating.

“You’ve been a huge help ever since you started covering for me,” he admitted. “I didn't even know you were protecting me, and yet you kept doing it, never expecting anything in return. And then when I finally tell you, you’re all ‘I’m so proud of you’ and not ‘Why didn’t you tell me earlier?’”

Jazz rolled her eyes at his impersonation of her, but never interrupted him, even as her lips twitched. “Not to mention, when I explained the whole core-family thing, you didn’t even need any evidence. You just… believed me. Just like you always have.”

“You’re my brother, of course, I believed you,” she smiled. “I don’t need rhyme or reason to believe in you. It’s what family does.”

“See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about!” He pointed at her, trying for a scolding tone. “How could you say all that and not know what you mean to me?”

“Danny, I know you love me, I don’t need you to tell me-”

“Not that either!” He interrupted. Jazz looked affronted but he kept going. “When I think of family, I know I have two. I love both of them, but I know that one of them makes me feel like I never have to be anything but my whole self. And guess what, dummy! You’re part of that one.”

Multiple emotions ran through Jazz’s face, from confusion to shock to understanding. And, finally, joy. Like she couldn’t believe that this was the truth. Like she honestly doubted her place as one of the most stable people in his life.

“Danny,” she gasped, raising her hands to her face as though to hide. “You really mean that?”

“Why would I lie about that?” He huffed. “Jeez, you’re pretty stupid for someone so smart.”

“Shut up!” she laughed, not at all offended as she would usually be. “Like you’re any better, Mr. Do-My-Kids-Love-Me.”

“Wha- hey! That’s different!”

“What, did I imagine that night you came in and babbled about how you were worried you were a terrible parent?”

“Oh, yeah? Keep that up and I’ll never come to you with these things again.”

“Bluffing doesn’t suit you, little brother.”

“I’m not bluffing!”

There was the sound of a door cracking open, but it went unheard as the two siblings bantered and, inevitably, fell into fits of laughter, each of their smiles brighter than the other’s. The door closed, but the pair of eavesdroppers never lost their matching smiles.

(“Oh my god, are you smiling?”

“What? No!” 

“You totally were! You’re such a softie!”

“Stop that slander this instant, you goddamn Twerp!”)

The end (?)

[kileyrose-2003]

Dan Torrance x Fem! Reader

A/N: This request was submitted by @ateliefloresdaprimavera I hope this is to your liking. Enjoy hun!

Dan anxiously held his hands in his laps as he watched Doctor John stroll up to the podium to begin the meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. This became a habitual thing for Dan now for the past 8 years but he just felt off today.

He attempted to brush it off as residual anxiety that lingered from his most recent and troubling visit with Abra but his gut told him that wasn't it. Someone unintentionally entered his head. Whoever the person was that caused the disturbance was not a stranger. They felt familiar to him but definitely had a certain dark edge.

"So before we begin we all remember the golden rule right?" All the members in the room nodded. "All that is said in AA stay in AA." They reiterated.

"Good." John slammed his hand down on the podium loudly, making everyone cringe as well as himself. "So who wants to start? How about you Miss? It's been a while since we've had a newbie."

The woman on the other side of the room bent her head down for a moment, rubbing her face to try and self soothe and attempted to sit up straight with semi good posture. "Y-yeah..I uh..I..Sorry, I'm not good with the whole interaction thing but uhm..my names-"

"Y/n." The word rolled off Dan's tongue like it was a sacred prayer before she could even finish her sentence. She looked up at him, a sea of confusion and self loathing gleaming in her eyes. She was deliberately trying to avoid him.

"Your name is Y/n." There was an open chair a few spaces away from Y/n and he moved over to it. Making sure to leave at least a fair distance between them. She was at the same spot he was at 8 years ago and could feel all the pain from it. The words 'The sins of the father always falls upon his children.' Was all he could think of in that moment.

He angeled his head so he could have direct eye contact with her, or at least as much as he could manage to get. "I don't know if you remember me but my name is Dan. We used to be neighbors at the apartment complex."

For a couple of minutes Y/n averted eye contact, staring off seemingly into space. She was more skittish than Dan remembered but still had the same looks. Despite the bags under his, despite everything she had went through, he thought she looked beautiful. "..your favorite sweater had Apollo 11 on it and your dad's name was Jack. Fitting because that's all he ever drank."

She swallowed deeply and fiddled with her fingers. Her mouth beginning to quench for the taste of a good margarita or beer. Even if it meant that it would kill or end her.

(It's the only thing that takes all the ghost away.)

'So she does still have it.' Dan shifted uncomfortably and coughed, his hands subconsciously balling up into fist. "Yeah, um..it was." Billy raised an eyebrow at him from across the room, this expression of amusement on his face and Dan returned the glance.

Doctor John scratched the back of his neck. He was curious about Y/n for sure but god, the tension in the room was unbearable."So..where you from Y/n?" She answered all the questions, trying to be as short as possible.

(You like her, don't you?)

Dan looked at Billy and folded his arms across his chest.

(She was my best friend when I was 5. Before my dad brought us to The Overlook for the summer. She was my 'girlfriend')

Billy examined Y/n up and down.

(She seemed a little..distant when remembering you.)

(I can't say I blame her. Our fathers used to drink together and her's in particular, got violent when he did. She'd never talk about it with me but there are some things you just don't need telepathy for you know?)

He nodded and turned his focus back to Y/n.

"..So Y/n, how did you and Dan lose contact?" They both knew the answer to that question and her face became flushed. Y/N's eyes searched the room almost as if she was looking for someone to save her. "I-i...I'm sorry. I can't." She stood up from her chair and grabbed her purse.

"Y/n..Y/n, please don't go. It wasn't your fault." Dan stood up in an attempt to stop her from leaving. "Danny p-please just leave me alone." Her voice sounded shakey, almost as if she was going to start crying. "But Y/n, I want to help you. Look I know how it feels to live with this stuff and it's not a hallucination, it's-"

He accidentally touched her wrist and she let out a blood curdling shrill. "GET AWAY!" She swung at him out of instinct and hit him straight in the eye. Dan let out a groan and put a hand on top of his sore eye that he knew was going to bruised in the morning. "Y/n! Y/n!" She only shook her head though and walked out the door.

Dan frowned and ran his fingers through his hair. "You okay?" Billy handed him a bag with ice for his eye. "Yeah I'm okay. I just really hoped that would of went better."

"You weren't exactly in the best shape either when you ended up in Frazier, Dan. Just gotta give her some time man. I'll help her get a job. A place to live.." He patted him on the back, giving his best reassuring smile. "I hope so Billy..I hope so."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Uncle Dan!" Abra ran up to him excitedly and wrapped her arms in his middle tightly. Dan chuckled slightly and hugged her back. "Hey kiddo. How was school?"

"It was good. I got an A on my biology report." She grinned cheekily and released him from the embrace. "Oh my god. What happened to your eye?"

"Ah, it's nothing kiddo." She raised an eyebrow, almost as if to contradict what he said. "No really, it's nothing. I accidentally scared this girl and she you know..hit me eye."

"She cute?" Dan raised an eyebrow. "Does it matter?" Abra giggled and sat down on a bench. "No, I guess it doesn't but still, is she?" He debated on giving her the look but decided against it. "Yes, she is very pretty. Anyways-"

"Where'd you meet her?" He shook his head. "You're really not going to let me go off the subject of this are you?" Abra smirked. "Nope. So where'd you meet her?"

He thought a little bit before responding. "..a place only adults should have to be. Look-"

(So AA?)

Dan furrowed his brows.

(Sorry. The one time you and Billy were in the car together I accidentally peaked and..you know. I found out. I'm really sorry. )

"It's fine Abra just..Nevermind. That'll have to be conversation we have together later." Abra stared at him for a while, her eyes eventually going in the other direction. "..You've known her for longer than that though, haven't you?"

"Yeah..before I went to the Overlook as a kid. Abra, I know what happens when you get that look in your eye."

Abra just smiled. "Girls like it when boys are considerate. If you're not going to ask her out, which I really think you should, you should at least take her out to get coffee. You kind of owe it to her after the scare."

"Abra, I don't know if I'm ready for that. Or if she would even be okay with that..she's not exactly in a good spot right now."

"You weren't okay for a while too, but look at you now..it only takes one person to make a difference sometimes. Come on Uncle Dan, please." She begged.

"Abra, I don't know. She's been through alot." Dan slid away from her slightly. "Please?" She smiled as sweetly as she could manage. "..okay, fine. I will."

'No you won't. You're only saying it to get me off your back. So now I'm going to have play Cupid.' Abra thought then gave a fake happy squeal. "Yay! You're not going to regret it Uncle Dan. It's going to be awesome and super cute." He patted shoulder. "I'm sure it will be kiddo..I'm sure it will."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Abra, you don't even drink coffee. Why do you want to go into a cafe?" Dan groaned as his niece dragged him down the street. "Because you look like you need some and there are other things there besides coffee that you can buy. Now come on!"

She had to get there before Y/n left. Because she knew Dan wouldn't do what he promised unless she forced him.

She stepped into the shop, making sure she still had a hold of Dan. "Why don't you get a table while I order?"

"Abra, we've been over this. Do you know what people think, especially locals, when they see a young girl like you with a 40 year old white male?" He whispered harshly, trying not to draw to much attention.

"Just relax and let me handle everything, okay?" Abra gave him a reassuring smile and Dan relaxed slightly. "Okay just be careful plese?"

"I will." She grinned and skipped off to the line. She stood firmly in place and closed her eyes. 'Y/n..Y/n.' At first she felt nothing. Then she heard a ping. It got closer and louder until it was finally blaring in her ear. A head blaster by all means.

"S-sweetie? Do you mind to move up please, because the line is long?" Abra let out an inner yell of excitement. She didn't even have to find her. Y/n came walking to her.

"Sure, sorry I was spacing off." Abra scooted up a smidge. "You're Y/n, right?" The older woman's face looked confused. "..yes, why? Do I know you?"

"No, but you know my Uncle Dan." Y/n looked flabbergasted. "You're Dan's niece? I-i didn't know he had any siblings."

"He doesn't. Or at least I don't think so. I'm his honorary one." Y/n just gave a slight courteous nod. She wanted to get out of there. Still hating social interaction even if it was with a child of all people.

"You know my uncle really likes you." Abra treaded over to the counter slowly and placed her order. "D-does he?"

"Mhm. You don't look like you have anyone else here with you. Do you want to have coffee with us?"

Y/n stiffened uncomfortably. "I don't if D-Dan's going to want that..last time I seen him was kind of rough." She blushed out of embarrassment. "He'll get over it. Now come on, I got two coffees for my two favorite adults."

Y/n's eyes widened. The little girl had been planning all of this out. Abra reached out to touch her hand and Y/n recoiled.

(It's okay.)

Y/n's face softened. By now she should of been all flustered yet she felt so at ease. She couldn't remember the last time she felt that way.

(I know it has to be scary but it's all going to be okay I promise.)

Abra gradually extended her hand out and Y/n took it gently in her own. Letting her lead her over to the table.

"There you are. I thought you were having a hard time-" Dan looked up from his magazine, his face turning red. "Abra!" He tried his hardest not to raise his voice. "I thought I told you to leave her-"

"It's fine Danny." He met Y/n's eye. "I can't avoid you forever and it's not like you're going to go away." She tried her hardest to make the words sound gentle.

Dan covered her face and sighed, his elbows folding up the lace table cloth. "Abra, can you give us a few minutes. Please?"

"Yeah." She handed Y/n her coffee. "It was nice meeting you." Y/n smiled shyly. "Nice to meet you as well, Abra." She took her seat across from Dan, keeping her eyes on the teenager to made sure she got out okay.

"She's a sweet kid, you got to admit that Danny." He nodded. "Yeah, she is..and clever at playing cupid too." He muttered the last part softly and Y/n giggled.

"I'm sorry by the way..for what I did to your eye at AA." Y/n took a large gulp of her coffee. "No, no. It was my fault. I pushed too far and I..I just..I really miss you."

"I miss you too." She frowned slightly, her eyes starting to water. "I never forgot about you Y/n..I just didn't want to hurt you. Because I knew what you were going through at home and I had my own mess to take care of and-"

"Dan, you don't need to apologize to me. It's okay." Y/n reached her arm across the table. Flinching slightly as she took his hand. "It's okay, I promise."

He held her hand tenderly. "Did he leave?" Y/n shook her head. "I ran away from home. My mom died and my father got worse..he tried to touch me Dan and it hurt so bad." She began to sob.

"Hey..hey." He moved over so he could hold her. "I'm so sorry." People in the cafe were looking at them like they had five heads but he didn't care.

She gripped onto his shirt like a child and buried her head in his chest. "I couldn't take it anymore so I ran..I ran as far as I could." Y/n let go of him for a moment to wipe her eye.

"Then some man and a woman in a jeep picked me up on the side of the road. Offered me something, I can't remember what but I told them and they begged and pleaded but I said no and the next thing I knew I woke up on the side of the road in Colorado a couple of miles away from a bar and I couldn't stop from there."

Dan rubbed tiny little circles on her back, trying to sooth not only his worries but her's. He'd have to ask Abra later if she knew how The Knot recruited people.

"My father died in accident a few months after I ran away but he wouldn't leave me alone. Because wherever that sick bastard had, I had too so the drink was the only thing that could take the pain away."

"I'm sick, Danny..but I want to get better. I really do." Y/n's eyes had a truthful gleam in them. "And you will. I'm going to help you. Me and Billy. I'm not going to let anything happened to you."

(Or let you out of my sight again.)

Y/n's eye looked hopeful yet wary. "You trust me, right?" She nodded her head and he pulled her close.

For the first time in a while she didn't flinch and completely relaxed. She knew she was safe. "Dan?" Her voice came out like a whisper. "Yeah Y/n?"

"I think I love you." Dan grinned and hugged her tight. "I love you too Y/n/n..I love ya too."

[phanboyo]

Y'know what was always super weird to me? In the episode Danny became Dan because his loved ones died, why was that even a big deal like so what they'll just turn into ghosts they're still around

You know, I think that not every dead person becomes a ghost. I'm not sure about the specifics, but I think that only people with unfinished work/passions or intense emotions become ghosts. Or maybe people whose deaths were Weird and had ectoplasm involved.

I mean, it's true we saw Poindexter's schoolmates but... I'm sure there are plenty of other explanations for that and I don't want to think about the ghost zone being the afterlife!

Even so, I'd imagine turning into a ghost changes people. They're supposed to be echoes of who they were, or focused more entirely on their obsession, or completely different in personality.

Even if they did turn into ghosts that happened to be more or less the same as they were in life, things would never be the same. Sam, Tucker, and Jazz couldn't attend Casper High, Jack and Maddie would certainly have some setbacks in their ghost experiments, Lancer...

Well we all saw how Professor Binns turned out, nobody wants a ghost teaching them about the civil war.

Still, death is traumatic. Even people who believe in the afterlife are distraught and depressed after the death of close family or friends, and Danny lost all of his close family and friends. I mean we joke about Lancer, but he was one of the few people in Danny's life who gave him advice and cared about his well being. He literally doesn't have any humans left. Maybe that's part of it too, after this, his ties with the human realm dwindle significantly. We all know Danny struggles with his identity as a human (Spectra's popularly quoted "ghost blending in with humans or some freaky little boy with freaky little powers" being a great example, considering her whole power is chipping away at people's biggest worries and insecurities), and I'd imagine that having no humans to support you would make that even worse.

Then of course there's the whole "it's my fault they're dead" thing. Danny's hero complex certainly wouldn't help the guilt of inadvertently (or directly, depending on your viewpoint) causing the deaths of the very people he's tried the hardest to protect.

Basically, almost his entire support system has been ripped up and it's his fault. Not too great.

Although, the idea of his friends/family coming back as ghosts is an interesting one... Would they remember everything? Would they form in the far recesses of the GZ, away from the portal? Would they hate what they've become (especially Jack and Maddie), question their humanity, their thoughts, their emotions? Would they wonder if anything they experienced was actually real? Would they resent Danny?

Gosh, and then there's the collateral. The Foleys and Mansons losing their only children? Do you think they'd resent Danny for being the one to survive instead of their kid? I mean, of course they wouldn't say it, no one wants to be responsible for thinking such a selfish thought, but do you think they'd even be able to look at Danny without thinking of their children, now gone?

And of course, this story would surely be in the news. Imagine millions of people pittying him. Do you think Dash would be able to bring himself to spare Danny more than guilty glance? Do you think Paulina would feel bad about the scathing remarks she made about Sam every time she saw Danny wandering the halls alone? Do you think there'd be a hole in the student body at the loss of their vice principal? Do you think they'd realize that he was much better than they gave him credit for?

Imagine Danny calling for Jazz or his parents just after a nightmare and then remembering that they're gone. Imagine him seeing a poster for a new game, exited to tell Sam and Tucker but he feels a pit in his stomach.

Do you think he'd be off his game while fighting ghosts? Do you think Amity Park would notice? Without backup, without anyone to fight for, so distracted, do you think he'd finally be killed?

Do you think Danny does begin to scour the ghost zone, hoping against hope that he'll find one of them? Missing school, putting himself in harm's way, disregarding food or rest, just desperately hoping to find something, to find someone?

Idk, anon. With all the uncertainty of how ghosts are formed, I think their sudden death would still have it's effects. Even if they somehow did become ghosts and by some fluke formed near Amity, and still kept all their memories and personality, there's still a pretty big loss. I think, probably, people just aren't that logical, and probably, ghosts aren't that simple.

[kinkingbird-blog]

“When the Mask Falls” Ninja Ship Party

NAME: “When the Mask Falls”

FANDOM: Shipgrumps

CHAPTER: Part 3 of a Series 

PAIRINGS: Ninja Ship Party

SUMMARY: A filled commission. Six months into his relationship with Brian, Danny invites him to move in. What starts as moving toward the next step of their lives together forces Brian's old demons to arise: imposter syndrome, running thoughts, and fear. As Brian's life begins breaking down around him, he worries he won't be able to hide it from Danny for much longer - especially if Arin's going to keep watching him so closely.

RATING: M.

WARNINGS: Angst with a happy ending, vomiting, panic attacks, imposter syndrome, sex used as a distraction

WORD COUNT: 18,453

AO3 Cross Post: [x]

Commissions are open!!

Buy Me A Coffee, if you’d like~

As they rested together in Danny’s massive bed, their bare and sweaty legs meeting from ankle to hip, Brian stared at the ceiling, still catching his breath and marveling at what he’d received. It was a gift. He knew it was. No one in the world deserved this much happiness at once.

Six months officially together. Six months of warmth. Six months of fondness. Six months of...of love. After what felt like a lifetime of pining for his best friend, being continuously blessed with his bright eyes and his laughs and his body seemed too much for Brian to keep for long.

Did he only have a limited allotment of happiness? Was he burning through it too fast? Did he only have a little bit left, and if Danny whisked away, would he be miserable for the rest of his life?

Brian was a trained man – one who’d worked for years to attain that level of skill and knowledge in his field – but during nights like this, when his adrenaline was finally slowing, he knew that he’d put himself in a corner by doing that. His mind seemed to work faster than anyone else’s. Danny might still be lying here thinking about how amazingly tight Brian was around his cock, but Brian was already three years ahead, anticipating their inevitable break up.

Sometimes he hated himself.

A hand on his chest made his thoughts still, and Brian watched Danny roll over and rest his head next to his on the pillow. With his cheeks still flushed and his gaze shimmering, he looked as languid and beautiful as a god, and Brian couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“We should do this more often,” Danny murmured.

Brian chuckled. “What, fuck? Twice a week isn’t enough for your rabbit libido?”

“Absolutely not.” He pushed in closer, his chest flush against Brian’s ribs, and he sighed and dropped an arm around Danny’s shoulders. No way in hell was he ever going to push him away when it came to cuddles. Silence spread between them for a few seconds before Danny opened his mouth again. “I just mean that, y’know, things feel...right when you’re here. It’s always been that way. It’s never gonna change.”

Shadow thoughts reared their ugly head, speaking so fast that Brian couldn’t comprehend them. Just felt the existential dread resting on his chest, pushing down more and more and more until he could scarcely breathe. “It’s because I’m fucking perfect,” Brian quipped in response, even as it made the rumble rise that much higher. “Not my fault you had nothing but a bunch of losers before me.”

Danny snorted and prodded him in the side, but didn’t reply. That was odd enough. Danny always at least tried to have a verbal comeback for Brian, even if it sounded ridiculous in hindsight. Straight up silence was rare.

He has something he wants to say.

Every nerve in Brian’s body sparked, hairs standing on end, as he listened to his lover’s breathing. Danny would inhale, pause, then let it all out quickly. Lift his hand, as if to use it to talk, and then drop it again and go back to thumbing over Brian’s skin.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Brian finally murmured when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore.

Danny cupped his cheek and met his eyes. “I get lonely when you leave, man.” Even after these months together, common pet names were still odd for them, and Brian felt the affection in that old form of address deeper than he ever had before. “My bed gets cold. I don’t sleep as good. It fucking sucks.”

Jesus. Realization filled Brian’s chest, and he stared at him unblinking. “Sucks to be you?” Sarcasm was safe. Sarcasm kept him from hoping for something that he didn’t think he might deserve.

A smile flashed up at him, nervous but true. “Your lease runs out in two months, dude. I know you haven’t signed it yet. And, uh...I think you should move in with me.”

Warmth and pleasure flooded him from his mind downward, engulfing his heart in such love that he could barely breathe. He rolled over and pressed in tight, until their noses rubbed together – until he could see every single thought in Danny’s brown eyes. “You really mean that?”

The grin only widened. “I wouldn’t kid about that, Bri. I love you – you know I do. And I’m sick and tired of watching you walk out my door to go to your shitty ass bed.”

“My bed is fantastic,” Brian declared as he wrapped his arms around Danny and kissed him.

Laughter vibrated against his lips. As Danny pulled back, Brian tried to chase him, but he wasn’t deterred. “I’m burning your mattress when you move in.”

“Yeah?” He kissed him again. “I’m burning your shoes.”

“Fuck you! I’m throwing all your old man clothes out!”

Brian pulled him on top of him and beamed. “I’m throwing out your shirts from college.”

Real terror filled Danny’s gaze. “You wouldn’t!”

Brian simply quirked a brow.

“You’re evil.” Danny rolled them over completely, so Brian straddled him, and dragged him down for kisses that filled them both with moans. “I’ll make you pay the mortgage with me.”

Brian chuckled and gripped his jaw lightly in one strong hand – a tease of power. “Careful, Danny. That sounds like you’re going to ask me to marry you next.”

He pulled him in.

Between kisses and gentle manhandling and faint groans of pleasure, Brian drowned in Danny once more. Bubbled up as brightly as he was with the golden sheen over their future together, he couldn’t quite remember where the dark storm clouds of earlier had come from.

 ~~

 Plans were easy to make. They were more like dreams than anything else. It was easy for Danny to lean on Brian’s chair in the office and tell him to look up a certain piece of furniture that he wanted to buy – but only if Brian wanted it too. He’d talk about starting to make space in his closet for Brian’s clothes. There’d be a question about what Brian might want to bring into the house from his apartment, since Danny had entire rooms that weren’t even being used yet.

It was perfect.

Brian was a logical man. He worked with numbers and facts, not things that were unattainable. The theory of perfection was impossible when it came to anyone – but for someone like Brian? Twice as unlikely. Something would inevitably fall to pieces every time, and with each day that passed without incident, it meant that the likelihood of failure doubled. Over and over and over it went, until he might very well be walking on a tightrope and peering down into the abyss and knowing that even the softest breeze would knock him over.

He did not deserve perfection. And that appeared to be precisely where their lives were heading.

 ~~

 “You’re really sure about this, huh?” Brian asked, interrupting Danny in the middle of talking about putting him on his homeowner’s insurance plan. “Like...honest and truly.”

Danny blinked at him. He set the bowl of popcorn in his lap aside with a quiet laugh. “I mean...yeah? Does it seem like I’m not?”

A few seconds of silence passed as Brian parsed through his thoughts, trying to pinpoint the exact reason he felt unsure. “I mean...it took me literal years to enter a relationship with you, Dan. You remember how we got together? When...when you weren’t even sure if you were still straight or not?”

More quiet. A hint of tension lingering in the air between them. Danny cleared his throat and turned on the couch to face him, their paused movie going completely ignored. “I, uh...no, yeah, I remember that.”

“So you can understand why I’m a little surprised that you brought it up in the first place.” Or that you’re even taking it as seriously as you are.

Danny reached out and snagged one of Brian’s hands, squeezing it. He kept his eyes on it as he spoke. “I took a while. I know I did. You didn’t have to be patient with me, man, but...but you were, and...I’m trying to show you that I’m serious. Okay?”

Brian glanced up at him.

“This isn’t about playing house. This is me trying to make sure you know that I want you in my life. Always. I think about you constantly when you’re not here ‘cuz it just makes sense for me to come around the corner and see you cooking in the kitchen or something.” Danny slowly met his eyes and ran his thumb over the back of his knuckles. “I know I kind of led you on there for a while. I know I kept getting scared shitless about what might happen if we...if we started being more than friends. And I’m glad we did – I really am – but I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life wondering if my fucking commitment issues are gonna suddenly pop up out of nowhere.”

Brian shook his head. “Us moving in together won’t obliterate those. They might still be there, and they might come out, and we’ll have to deal with them-”

“I know, I know.” Danny laughed and looked away. “I know, Brian, like...I’m the one here who’s gonna drag this relationship down, if it ever gets shaky. I know that. My issues are fucking ridiculous, and you don’t have, like, a single thing wrong with you, and it’s kind of intimidating, but...”

The shadow voices rose again, whispering in the back of Brian’s mind, a sinewy sort of melody that he couldn’t completely ignore.

With a sigh, Danny called his attention back to him again. “Look, I love you, Bri. I love you. That’s not gonna stop any time soon. And I wanna prove it by taking this to the next level.”

Brian’s lips quirked. “Even if it’s scary?”

“Even if it’s scary.”

“And I make you remodel your entire bathroom?”

“Go fuck yourself.”

Brian laughed. “All right, fine. So you put me on the fucking mortgage and insurance. What next?”

Danny beamed at him, looking up through messy curls, staring at him with far more love in his eyes than he’d ever deserved.

He was breathless with the weight of it.

 ~~

 Brian stepped away from his laptop to make some coffee, too restless to sleep and too jittery to keep looking at quotes for moving companies. He hadn’t even gotten too far into planning – he still had to go looking for boxes – but it was too much to handle all at once tonight.

Evenings like this called to mind some of the more desperate lows of his friendship with Danny. That phone call, the one where he told him about how he’d be moving to the United Kingdom. The response he’d received. It trickled down his back like shards of ice, chilling him to the bone. Sometimes, even if he couldn’t recall every single precise word, the devastation still came heavy, like snow that turned into hail, beating him down until he didn’t have lungs to breathe with.

He hesitated next to the kitchen counter, then sagged against it, feeling old concerns scratch at the back of his throat. Was Danny asking him to move in so he could guarantee that he’d keep Brian there, no matter what? Did he not trust Brian to stick around anymore?

He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, took a deep breath, then tried to force it down, like sticking his foot in the garbage can and pressing.

These were reasons why he didn’t deserve the innocent happiness he saw in Danny’s gaze. He’d hurt him. Over and over again, he’d caused him pain in order to distance his own love from Danny. It was safer that way, he thought. Sensible. He could say that he wanted to move across the ocean to pursue better job opportunities, but the lies had been sand in his mouth, and every damn time he thought for sure that Danny knew.

Brian didn’t like lying. But it was all he ever did.

“Stop,” he whispered. He forced himself to inhale, filling his chest to the brim. He wouldn’t bubble over tonight. He wouldn’t let himself linger. He couldn’t. He just...he…

The pain stayed. Cloying him into a false sense of security, it traced claws over his muscles, then stabbed deep the second he thought the danger had passed.

It hasn’t been this bad in a while.

Brian considered the alcohol he had trapped high in his kitchen. He rarely indulged, and given that his boyfriend and most other friends didn’t touch the stuff he didn’t often find reason to bring it down. The temptation was there tonight. He stared at the closed cabinet, then moved away, wandering aimlessly through the apartment. He told himself that he was going to start sorting through things that he’d donate or throw away rather than take with him in the move.

Instead he ended up in front of his mirror.

For long moments, he simply stared, taking in the way he appeared to the world. The t-shirt with the physics pun on it. The jeans that had seen better days. Wrinkles on his hands and by his eyes. Silver hair slowly consuming the dark. Bulging eyes, thin lips, massive nose, thick gut, thighs covered in stretchmarks--

The pain was here. It sliced through him, dragging him into the thick of it, where there was no escape.

Danny deserved better than a man like Brian. Danny was...was beautiful and remarkable. He represented a far greater success story than anything Brian could ever do. He inspired people. He changed lives. He made everyone think that they could be better, if only they fought like he had. He had a laugh that lit up a room, and eyes that smoldered just as well as they sparkled, and a smile that made whoever saw it think that they were the only person alive.

It didn’t make sense that things had changed as quickly as they did. That Danny had...realized somehow that he wanted Brian. That he’d ached for him for years. That didn’t happen in real life. No one had happiness like that – especially not someone far past their prime, and who’d spent years making sure that their most secret, intimate feelings were kept hidden away.

Had Brian somehow manipulated Danny into wanting him without even trying? There wasn’t another logical explanation. Taking a man who had identified as heterosexual for his entire life – who even today still didn’t know what label to apply to himself, in this climate of ever changing sexuality language – and making him believe that he loved him? That he wanted to have sex with him? How did that happen? How did someone really have no prior concept that they might be slightly less than straight for almost forty years, and then suddenly wake up with a boner for another man?

Somehow he’d done something wrong, he thought.

A ping in the living room startled him, and Brian fought through the remnants of the haze before he remembered his phone, the message alert, that he had a text, and he forcibly turned himself from the mirror and breathed once more. He wandered back into the living room and checked his phone.

It was from Danny. A screenshot of a furniture website. A couch – far bigger than his own, something to compete with the massive sectional that Arin and Suzy had – that would finally make Danny’s living room look a little less barren.

“Plenty of room for cuddles and kicking your ass in games! Can’t wait for you to be here. The house is too quiet. The only way I’m staying sane is by thinking about when you’ll be here with me forever.”

Such sweetness dripped like honey into his mouth. Did he deserve it? No, maybe not. But he was a selfish man. He always had been. Why else would he have accepted Danny’s new feelings without questioning them? And he wanted this. Wanted Danny.

Maybe he was an imposter, and maybe Danny hadn’t figured that out yet. Maybe he never would. Maybe Brian would go his whole damn life knowing he didn’t deserve love as pure as this, or friendship as steadfast as he received from Arin or Brent or Ross, or kindness as rich as what he felt on a daily basis even from total strangers.

But he was going to fight to keep it. And nothing would stop him.

He sent a text back – ”It’s hideous. It’ll match the rest of your decor perfectly.” – and felt his lips quirk when Danny sent him a pouting selfie back. He saved the picture immediately, then sat down and picked up his laptop again.

Moving companies. Right. He could work on that. He could ignore the throbbing ache in his chest still – where the claws had marred him the worst. He could get things done and not be so fucking useless.

Easy peasy.

 ~~

 “Morning!”

“Morning.” Brian gave Danny a quick kiss on the lips and smiled at him fondly as they passed in the hallway. “Ready to do all my work for me?”

“Fuck you!” Danny sang out brightly as he disappeared around the corner, and Brian laughed. He sat at his desk with a sigh and immediately opened up his emails, preparing to slog through the important ones and neglect the shit. It’d take him a little while to wake up, and sipping his coffee while doing this always helped.

Having Danny beside him never helped matters of focus. It was a process – becoming comfortable enough in their relationship that they could still be pleased to see each other and occasionally play some kind of stomping foot wars under the desk in the name of flirting, but also no longer feeling like live wires the second they both made eye contact and being unable to complete any work again until they snuck away to the bathroom for a few stolen moments of making out. They were relaxing so much more now that it felt...domestic, somehow, to sit here and go through emails and to know that Danny would be back soon, and that they’d sink into the quiet of their keyboards clacking while simply breathing each other in.

Brian took another drink of coffee when he heard footsteps behind him, and he glanced, then turned fully in his chair when he saw Arin lingering in the doorway. “Hey.”

“Hey!” Arin grinned. “Heard you agreed to the move. Congrats, dude!”

So it was out, then. He anticipated a long string of well wishers.“Did Danny just tell you?”

“Nah, we talked about it, like, weeks ago.” Arin waved it off. “Between you and me, I’m pretty sure I gave him the idea, heh. Don’t tell him I said that – he’ll kick my ass.”

Something uneasy stirred in Brian’s chest. Vulnerability. Suspicion. He couldn’t let that manifest. He focused on quipping, taking a second longer than usual to find something to spit out. “Don’t lie to me about that, Arin – we both know you wouldn’t recognize a good idea if it spanked you.”

Arin laughed, shaking his head. “No, seriously! It was...kind of cute, actually? Like, in a gross way. He ended up in my office all sweaty and doting and shit one day? Probably after you two snuck off during lunch – yes, I know about that, we all know about that, don’t look at me like that. Anyway, he was nervous or whatever about how happy he was with you, and how he wanted to show it...”

As Arin went on, Brian stopped taking it in. He stared at his face, feeling the foreboding spread little by little.

This was exactly what he should’ve expected, and he felt like a fool for not recognizing it earlier. Of course it hadn’t been Danny’s idea to ask Brian to move in. It hadn’t been Danny’s idea to have feelings for him either – it had taken Brian’s entire breakdown to put the idea in his head in the first place, even after years of friendship – so why would it be his idea to make their relationship a little more permanent? Brian could foresee a future moment – Suzy flashing her wedding ring or something and telling some new acquaintance all about Arin had proposed to her, and Danny overhearing the story and immediately going out and looking for wedding bands.

It made sense. Danny was impressionable. Gullible. Easy to trick and tease. Why would this have been any different?

“...and I figure it’s just about time anyway. If you guys had been living together right when you got back from England, I bet he would’ve been proposing to you in a week, like, let’s be real – you two are perfect for each other, and I can’t believe he was so blind for so damn long-”

“Well, if you gave him the idea, then it’s only fair that you help me move in,” Brian interrupted. There was something hollow inside of him. His words felt wooden. He swallowed and pressed on, clinging to the joke. “I think you should go ahead and mark your calendar for a few weeks away – the last Saturday of the month, maybe? I’ll put my feet up and drink a beer or two while you carry all my boxes inside. What do you say?”

The joke should’ve been easy to move the conversation along. Wit was Brian’s most efficient weapon, and he wielded it with ease. But something about Arin’s expression didn’t sit well with him. He looked like a scientist peering through a microscope. Like he was going to start taking notes.

Coldness spread through Brian’s gut.

“If you think I’m gonna be free labor without you even buying me a fucking pizza, you’ve got another thing coming,” Arin finally quipped, his lips quirking. “But, uh, nice try, buddy.” Arin patted him on the head, and Brian made a show of trying to bite his hand, making him laugh. “Do you wanna get some lunch today, by the way? It’s been a while since just you and I did anything together, hasn’t it?”

Maybe because you do everything with Danny instead of trying to do anything with me.

The thought made him so unsettled that Brian immediately spoke. “Nah, I’ve already got plans, but some other time, okay?”

Arin nodded, eyes still firm on Brian’s own, and smiled. “Sure, dude. Hey, lemme know if you need anything today.”

“As always, boss.”

Arin left the office, and Brian turned slowly to face his computer without quite seeing it. Had his earlier thought been jealousy? He didn’t think so. He had a long history of being jealous of whoever Danny spent his time with in the past, but those fleeting emotional memories hadn’t been ones he’d revisited once their romantic relationship began. Arin had Suzy, Brian had Danny, and he’s wasn’t about to be an asshole who made his lover stop seeing his best friend just because he wanted more time with him.

No, it hadn’t been jealousy about Danny’s time with him. But the feeling had been remarkably similar.

It was true. Arin and Brian rarely did things alone together, and if they spent time with each other it was typically because Danny was there instead, from tours to recording sessions to panel appearances at a con.

So was it jealousy because Arin never tried to initiate a one on one friendship with Brian before today? Possibly. But he couldn’t exactly blame him. With how effervescent Danny was, it was any wonder people took notice of Brian at all. So many nights spent on stage without people responding to him unless Danny deliberately focused attention in his direction. So many tweets directed toward Danny specifically. So many streams where Brian had taken control of the situation only by forcefully inserting himself into the limelight, not by request or demand.

Dear Danny and other members of NSP.

Danny was the golden guy. Brian had known it all along. If even once he had a friend who he introduced to Danny for the first time, it was inevitable that they came to prefer his company over Brian’s. After the lifetime of depression Danny had, Brian couldn’t exactly fault him for it, but…

It would’ve been nice for Arin to ask him to lunch out of his own interest in being better friends with him – and not because he looked at Brian like he was a puzzle to solve.

Emails. Brian took a deep breath, cleansing the tension in his chest, and focused on his screen again. It took a bit to find his stride, but he hit it, and he refused to let his attention divert – even when Danny slid into the chair beside him and squeezed his hand.

 ~~

 “You sure you can’t just move in tonight?”

Brian heard the teasing words, but he didn’t attend to them as well as he wanted to. His head felt slightly swimmy, and he doubted it had anything to do with the single draft beer he’d had, nor with Danny’s presence. No, the stress of work, he reasoned, was what had gotten to him, paired with knowing exactly how much he had left to pack. “I don’t even have the living room packed up yet,” he murmured, taking another sip of the beer.

Danny snorted. “Just get rid of it. We can buy new shit. Y’know...make it our place, not just mine.”

More gentle lurching in his belly. More sips of his drink. Maybe he was getting ill.

“Unless, like…I mean, if you want, I can just wait until you’re all moved in first, or...I can go ahead and buy everything?” Danny let out a light chuckle. “Waking you up all hours of the night with questions about furniture or whatever’s gotta be annoying.”

Brian shook his head, but didn’t reply verbally. His gaze drifted to the nearest TV, where a game played by a team he didn’t give a shit about. His legs itched. Maybe if he moved around a little, he’d actually be able to focus.

It was rare nowadays that Danny and Brian even had a chance to come out to a restaurant on a weekend night. Brian’s schedule was far more open than Danny’s, but he spent it all packing, and Danny was always working on videos, songs, interviews, seeing old friends, thinking about the future…

Brian blinked a few times, trying to clear his head. When was the last time he’d even slept the whole night through?

“...good game?”

“Hmm?” Brian blinked and looked at Danny for the first time in twenty minutes. “I have no idea. It’s on, that’s all I know.”

Danny wrinkled his brow as he slurped up the remnants of his soda through his straw. “Then, uh...why’re you paying more attention to it instead of me?”

A very good question. Danny was his boyfriend. He was the entire reason Brian had gotten in his car and drove here for a proper date, not just the two of them sitting on his couch and eating takeout food again. But something about the entire situation had him on edge. Sleep? Work stress? He considered them both logical possibilities, making tick marks on the whiteboard he often saw before his mind’s eye. Correlation did not equal causation, and…

“I canceled plans to be here.”

Something in Danny’s tone finally resonated in Brian’s gut like a bell. His lover was a patient guy. He didn’t often sound so...so snippy unless something was genuinely wrong. But there it was – that edge, the sharpness that Ross sometimes took on if no one in the office was paying attention to something he was working on. From Ross, it felt bratty. From Danny, it felt hollow and depressed.

Brian’s heart skipped a beat.

“If you needed to get something else done, we could’ve rescheduled,” Danny murmured. As Brian met his eyes, he saw the ache right on the surface – not hidden even slightly. How was Danny able to be so open and vulnerable like this? Was it because he was so generally loved by everyone around him that he hadn’t had to fight for attention in years? Brian couldn’t even imagine being that free.

How many doors were still tightly locked in Brian’s mind with shadows trying to poke beneath them?

As a chill resonated through Brian’s veins, he reached across the table and covered Danny’s hand. When Danny didn’t pull away – didn’t even look away – Brian leaned on old habits. “I’m out of it. Lots of work. Lots of packing. It’s shit. But you know that doesn’t mean I don’t wanna be here.” He tilted his head to the side. “I can’t think straight around you. When I’m this tired, my head just...goes places. Thinks about things that...maybe I shouldn’t be considering in polite company.”

Danny’s gaze flicked down to the table, and he shifted, turning his hand over so his fingers tickled over Brian’s inner wrist. “I mean...”

“What’s that?” Brian leaned closer, trying to catch his eye. “Does someone want to hear exactly what those inappropriate thoughts are?”

Danny chewed on his bottom lip, and, against his better judgment, it seemed, a smile peeked at the corners of his mouth. “Like you can ever keep your mouth shut anyway,” he finally said with a giggle. “You like to hear yourself talk so much.”

“And you like to listen.” Adopting the more sinewy tone was easier than it should’ve been, given how he continued to stomp on the quiet spark of panic at the base of his stomach. “But, if you don’t want to hear me...maybe I should just show you instead.”

Danny pulled his wallet out, flipping through it clumsily and pulling out a few bills to set on top of the check they’d been neglecting. “Fifteen minutes of anticipation-”

“Who said anything about waiting until we get home?”

Eyes snapping to Brian’s, Danny watched him, an ember of heat in his gaze. It was one that Brian knew wouldn’t take much at all to coax into life, and he jumped on the opportunity, standing up and taking Danny’s hand and pulling him out of the booth.

They’d never been so obviously clandestine before – not even at work. While the office felt like an extension of home in many ways, all thanks to the careful decorating that invoked inspiration without the stress of a standard office building, the fact that Brian led the way to the bathroom with promise in his hurried pace meant something far more exciting. And Danny would go along with it, of course. He always did.

He was weak for Brian. It seemed that over thirty years of repressing a supposed side of him meant that he couldn’t resist a damn thing that Brian offered him. It was kind of him to be patient with Danny in the past, he thought, when giving him as little as a snog in the hallways probably would’ve made his pants fall off without any additional help, but he didn’t have to wait anymore, did he?

Why not use this? Why not let his lover feel good anytime, anywhere?

Why not embrace the distraction?

The bathroom was a single stall, and Brian pushed Danny through the door and locked it behind him. His lover’s breath was already catching, and as Brian pressed flush against him, palming his jeans told him he was already hard.

“Eager,” Brian murmured with a smirk.

“I-I missed you, okay?” Danny leaned forward for a kiss, and Brian hesitated for only a moment before he returned it.

It wasn’t the first time Brian gave a blowjob while on his knees in a filthy bathroom, but it was the first time he actually enjoyed it.

At least...he was pretty sure that he did.

 ~~

 Normally Brian was fantastic at keeping track of time and dates, but something about Danny’s visit back home to see his family slipped by him completely. One night he was texting Danny and asking if their weekly Netflix date was still on for Friday, and the next second he was being reminded that Danny’s flight left that morning, actually – that they’d rescheduled to eat out two days before on purpose.

It wasn’t often that Danny got out of town to see his folks – and the fact that his sister would be there at the same time was a huge boon. For the first time outside of major holidays, they’d all be together – and for a whole week, too, to help celebrate their parents’ milestone anniversary together.

It worked out, really. It gave Brian time to focus on packing.

He imagined he might’ve gotten more done so far if he hadn’t been so busy at work. With his nose to the grindstone there, it was increasingly more difficult to focus on getting boxes packed and sealed ahead of time – and now the move was only two weeks away. The deposit had been put down on the moving company. Empty boxes filled his living room. Everything was set up to make it as speedy and efficient as possible.

He just...couldn’t focus.

That entire week, he did nothing but go to work, then come straight home to focus on packing. It should’ve made it easy. Danny was so enjoying his time with his family that he wasn’t reaching out to Brian very often. There were no distractions. Yet even still, Wednesday came with only one new box packed the night before, and the crunch was starting to tighten around him.

“Hey, Brian?” Ross stepped in his path as he headed toward the door at the end of the day. “What’s up?”

Brian blinked. He’d barely spoken to anyone in the office for days now. It took a few extra seconds for the clouds to clear away. “Nothing. Just on my way home. You?”

Ross grinned. “Yeah, same! Hey, so, I know you’ve probably been lonely as hell with Danny being gone-”

“The time away’s been refreshing, actually,” he drawled. “I’ve gotten a lot done.”

Ross snorted and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure, anyway, uh, figured I’d see if you wanted to come hang out tonight. Some other friends’ll be there, and we’ve got some new tabletop games, and-”

“I have to pack, Ross,” he snapped. Any other time he would’ve thought of how this invitation was obviously preceded by something very important that Brian hadn’t figured out yet, and he would’ve apologized. Today, however, Ross was simply an obstacle in his way. “Maybe another time. Have a good night.” And he pushed past him, and the door shut behind him, and Ross let him go, and that was all there was to it.

Getting home, however, afforded him no pleasure. His phone was silent and in his bedroom. He put book after book into a box, like an assembly line, and he thought of Danny, and how he’d be home soon with stories of his sister and his mom and his dad, and just how lovely it must be to still have a fucking family to go home to at all.

He tried not to think of the deaths of his parents anymore, if he could help it, but tonight all he could see were their faces. Had they been proud of him? If they could see where he was now, would they be prouder still, or would they be humiliated by what prestige he’d given up just to come here and sing songs about dicks? And what would they think about his relationship with Danny specifically? Things hadn’t been awkward when he came out to them in the first place, but how would they take his boyfriend? Would they think they were a good fit, or would they advise Brian to think about looking for love elsewhere?

He couldn’t even imagine sitting with either of his parents and telling them about his depth of feeling for Danny – how he burned for him to the deepest part of his core. They’d never really been that type of family in the first place. How could he pretend that they would’ve had excellent advice to give him, or even the patience to listen?

Danny’s family adored him. They were probably listening to anecdotes about his work and his friends and…

Brian? Had he even ever told them about him? Had he ever came out? Did they love him even still?

They had to. No doubt they loved him and built him up, and…and worshiped him. Admired him for everything he’d done when life felt so impossible. They respected their Danny, who’d thrown his medication into water, who’d not gone back to it, who’d learned to stand on his own two feet. Their incredibly whole Danny. Brave. Strong. Full of everything that the world seemed to lack.

He was whole. That was it, really. He wasn’t broken inside, like some people were, and he didn’t even realize that, did he?

As his thoughts turned and spun, losing coherency, he realized he was staring into the box with a book in each hand, unmoving – almost unbreathing. How long had he been kneeling there? When had he stopped paying attention? Brian set the books down with more care than he’d ever used in his life, then leaned back against the couch, staring at the ceiling. He tried to apply logic to why he couldn’t breathe deeply. There had to be a reason for it. There always was. It was easy, if he’d only try…

Somehow he ended up on his back on the couch with all the lights on, still in his clothes, teeth unbrushed, brain unfocused. He fell asleep there with his hands folded over his stomach and his too-small lungs.

Dreams were a window into the soul, and he knew it well. He dreamed of his beautiful, perfect Danny, being carried away by millions of adoring people, and when he tried to follow them, he tripped into a hole, where he yelled and begged for help and was never once even thought of.

And then he woke up and forgot about it before his eyes were even open – was only left with the lingering sense of unease that robbed him of safety even here, in his own home.

 ~~

 Even with Danny’s return to work, Brian was unsettled. He couldn’t find the words to ask him about his time away – how he’d enjoyed it, how his parents were, if his sister was well – and Danny didn’t volunteer the information to him either. He had too much to catch up on at work. Day in and day out he was recording videos with Arin, barely even pausing for lunch, and the quick hand squeezes and cheek kisses that Brian used to prize felt like nothing more than excuses now. Apologies, perhaps, for how he was in no real hurry to get back to him.

The move was almost here, and nothing was done – but Danny hadn’t even asked about it. And perhaps that was for the better.

Three days until the move, Brian ended up in the kitchen at work, his hands trembling as he reached for the pot of coffee. Did he need more? He wasn’t sure. His eyelids were heavy, though, and his control was fraying, to the point where his emails were piling up and he ignored conversations and let the list of his responsibilities go unfulfilled.

Coffee. Coffee was the answer.

The pot was full, almost overflowing onto his hand, and he hyperfocused every ounce of his attention on it, feeling blindly for the mug overhead while keeping an eye on the level of steaming coffee. A slip – just the barest movement of his fingers – had the mug falling, where it shattered on the counter, spraying shards of ceramic across his chest as he exclaimed and slammed the pot down.

“Fuck!” Brian concaved forward, shoulders rising, chest collapsing beneath the weight of his shout. That word – just one word – encapsulated everything he was losing and that he feared, and he felt the break on the edge of his tone just before his teeth clicked shut painfully.

Breathe. He stared at the massive pieces of the bland white mug surrounding him, his hands splayed on the countertop. Don’t stop breathing. Don’t let go. Don’t do anything. The shards blurred before his eyes as his breathing came faster and faster, over and over and over, until his heart burned. Fragile ribs splintered under the pounding weight of it.

And then he felt the eyes.

“You okay?”

Arin. Brian squeezed his eyes shut, bit his lips, and stood up tall so quickly he nearly lost balance. “Fine.” With one quick movement he jerked his chin upward and applied the veneer, then turned to look at his boss.

The naked concern on his expression nearly brought him to his knees.

He thought to that earlier lunch invitation weeks beforehand. The curious look in his gaze. Brian had interpreted it as Arin simply seeing him as a puzzle – like a toy that he wanted to tinker with until he was satisfied – but no, there was something far more frightening therein.

He knew. He knew exactly what Brian was struggling with. How could he read him so easy? Was it that obvious? Did everyone know what a fucking waste of air Brian was? That he was a shitstain smeared across the ground?

“Brian.” Arin wrinkled his brow. “Sit down, dude, you’re shaking.”

“I’m fine. I haven’t slept.” The lies came easier than truth, spilling over his lips, and he had a vivid flashback – Arin’s words against his ear through the phone six months before, the quiet Nothing is fucked, and how it had lulled him to think that everything could be okay with Danny, not risking falling apart like it was now. “Once I actually get some decent fucking rest and get this move over with, I’ll...yeah, I’ll be fine.”

Brian was so used to any word he said being enough to convince Danny. Why would Brian lie to him if it wasn’t for humor, after all? There was no motivation for it. Arin, however, didn’t look convinced. Nothing about his expression changed. Only the inescapable worry pressing down on him.

“I think we should go sit down together,” Arin said far slower, like he was still thinking through his plan of attack, and the itching in Brian’s legs only grew. “If you’re, uh, tired or whatever, we can get you settled on the couch, catch a few z’s, and then we can talk afterward, maybe?”

In seconds, Arin would no doubt get his footing as Brian’s boss again. He was good at what he did – fucking great, even – but the normally unflappable Brian was keeping him from transitioning straight into expressing his concern and asking him if everything was all right at home and if maybe he was having some kind of second thoughts about this move, if he didn’t deserve it or happiness with Danny or-

No, he couldn’t be allowed to figure that out. If he went down that rabbit hole, Brian was damn sure they’d never get out.

“I’m fine,” Brian snapped. He was moving before he even realized it. He pushed past Arin. Arin hit the doorframe, and Brian moved down the hallway. “I’m just, I’m going to run an errand, and I’ll be right back.”

The next thing he was aware of was sitting in his car, hands on the wheel, staring outside. How tempting it would be to drive home. He remembered doing that last time. Remembered emptying his stomach into the toilet until he felt as empty as he was as a human being – the vacant shell, the remnants left behind of who Brian was before he realized how utterly unexceptional he was and withered and died. He could do it now. He could go home and shut himself up, and maybe everyone would forget until tomorrow.

Or maybe he’d keep sitting here for an hour and wouldn’t even realize it.

He had nowhere to go. No errands to do. He drove around the block four times on pure autopilot before he pulled back into the parking lot and came inside.

He would just...find Arin and smooth things over, like they’d never happened. He’d give him a smile and a joke and some fingerguns, and then they’d move on, right? Easy. He stepped inside the thunderous air conditioner of their specific chain of offices and headed down the hallway, looking for him. Not in his office. Not in the kitchen. Not even Danny was at their desks.

That was when the cool panic began to set in.

As a rule, private conversations were rarely held in the recording area due to the backup microphones being constantly on at all times so that they’d never risk losing footage in the event of an emergency shutdown. It was considered a violation of privacy. Sensitive situations needed to be respected, lest they open up an entire can of worms.

Yet when Brian finally went to the last place he looked – the studio itself – what he saw brought him to a stop. Arin and Danny, sitting together, Danny’s back to the glass, Arin’s brow furrowed as he talked. He had no way of hearing what they were saying, but what else could they be talking about? Who else was having a fucking breakdown in the middle of the office just because a mug had broken? Brian lingered at the furthest door. There had to be a new plan of attack. How likely was it that he could get Danny to completely ignore everything coming out of Arin’s mouth? He imagined himself bursting in and flinging himself between them in slow motion, shouting, begging for Danny not to listen.

The fantasy hadn’t even finished when Arin locked eyes with him and shut his mouth – and then Danny turned his head.

He was wearing that goddamn concern now too.

Brian left. He ran. And this time he went home.

 ~~

 It wasn’t like he’d left incredibly early. In no time at all, everyone else would be heading home, Brian reasoned to himself, and thus he hadn’t exactly given them huge reason to worry. Danny wouldn’t come running over – at least, he wasn’t likely to, especially with how busy he was – and Brian could head everything off at the pass.

He just...needed to look like he was busy, in case there was a trap. If Danny walked in with his key - why the fuck did I even give him that? - he’d see that the apartment was a disaster. The signs of Brian’s half focused packing were scattered from wall to wall – objects that he’d begun wrapping in newspaper before leaving them on the floor, a trail of books from the shelf to a box that was half empty, abandoned dishes on the kitchen counter that he’d never quite gotten to washing. A man lived in a fugue state here. And he had to hide the signs. He couldn’t let them worry. Couldn’t let them know.

Packing was easy, he reasoned. No one sane struggled with something this simple, especially when they were over forty years old and had a doctorate in an extremely prestigious field.

But there was too much. Every time that Brian touched something – intent on packing it to lessen the damage – something else caught his eye, and he would put it down and wander over, then freeze again, head turning to the next object. By the time he heard his phone ringing, he hadn’t done a damn thing.

He picked up his phone, then dropped it on the couch when he saw Danny’s name. Feeling like a child, Brian chewed on a hangnail and stared at the screen, listening to the quiet vibrating until, finally, it went silent. He looked away. What kind of man did this? Who ignored their lover like they were nothing? How was he going to explain this?

Why did he feel so completely out of control of his own life?

His phone buzzed with a voicemail, and he forced himself to take a deep breath and listen to it.

”Hey! Um, this is Danny! I guess you already knew that, uh...listen, I just wanted to see how you were doing. I realized we hadn’t really...seen each other for the past couple of weeks, outside of work, and, like, with the move coming up, I kind of left you hanging instead of asking if I could help, and that was shitty of me, and...and I’m sorry. Um, can you give me a call and just let me know how you’re doing? I’d really like to hear from you. Love you!”

The message was dangerous. As Brian dropped the phone slowly back to his hip, he stared at the wall and felt the ever pressing weight of Danny’s worry on his shoulders. So this was it. This was how everyone found out that Brian – the man who held everything together like he was made of steel – was falling apart. Going insane. Collapsing from the inside out. This was how the world found out that he wasn’t worth his salt.

This was how Danny slowly discovered that Brian was weak and so not worth everything he’d given him.

We can still fix this.

The spark of panic flared into a smoldering wildfire, ripping through Brian as he grabbed his phone, his keys, and his wallet and headed straight for the door.

Brian was a master of deception and lies. For years he’d made a brand out of insulting humor. The amount of times that he’d spewed falsehoods just to make Danny think he wasn’t attracted to him was in the hundreds. And he could still lean on that here too. That was all it would take: just one little lie, and he could get his life back on target again.

He was fine. He was. He’d held it together for decades, and he wasn’t about to let go now.

The drive to Danny’s was done in the same fog he’d been struggling with for weeks, with the sharp-teethed voices in the back of his mind muttering viciousness that he could barely even translate. It was better this way, they said – better for Brian not to be known by a single person. If they found out what a fraud he was, they’d be happy to take the excuse to leave him. If they realized how he was only a mockery of a comedian, they’d turn their backs. If they knew he couldn’t do a damn thing without second guessing every step of the way, they’d finally realize how foolish he was.

It was better to hide it all. And Danny was just gullible enough to take it. After all, everyone wanted to take the easy way out. If Brian offered him the opportunity to pull the wool a little more over his eyes, he’d thank him for it – anything so he didn’t have to do the hard work of...of comforting, or…

Unbidden, images of Suzy holding Arin’s hand and talking to him quietly in the office during times of tight deadlines or sharp criticism or a dropped sponsorship deal raced through his mind. How Arin leaned into her. How she accepted the weight of him and pulled him in close and held him together when he was feeling weak. What did that feel like, to be so vulnerable with another human being? To know that they could be relied on to carry the burdens of their loved ones when they became just a little too heavy?

He couldn’t remember ever giving someone that opportunity. Not even once.

Fuck, his throat hurt. It tightened with a knot, and he swallowed it back down.

He pulled sideways into Danny’s driveway and climbed out of his car, making a beeline for the front door with his keys clacking in his shaking hand. He knocked on the door, and the second it opened, he pushed inside.

“Hey!” Danny grabbed him by the shoulder. “God, I’m fucking glad to see you. What’s up? Why didn’t you just call me back?”

The gleaming adoration in Danny’s eyes were almost enough to bring everything tumbling down. Every piece of the mismatched stones that Brian had shoved together into the tower that held him high above others...just one word of love from Danny would blow them over and leave nothing but the cracked foundation that he was so desperate to hide.

He couldn’t do that. If Danny saw – if he knew everything he’d been hiding…

Brian made one last ditch effort toward deception. It was easy. All he had to do was lean on Danny’s weakest point – even if it made him feel sick to do.

“Sometimes a guy just has to see his boyfriend.” Brian cupped Danny’s cheeks, scratchy with stubble, and came up onto his tiptoes, holding his gaze. “You missed me, didn’t you? You said it yourself. So here I am.”

Danny wrinkled his brow. “Brian...”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” He thumbed over Danny’s bottom lip. “Just a guy who’s sick and tired of waiting to see his lover. You feel that way too, right?”

“I-I mean, yeah, but-”

“Then c’mon.” He pressed their chests together and let his warm breath tickle over his mouth. “Show me how much you missed me. Make love to me like you mean it.”

Hesitation. For once, Danny didn’t reach out and touch Brian. He didn’t drag him in. And that just meant Brian would have to do a little more of the work himself.

He kissed him with a hum, tilting his head to deepen it immediately, and closed his eyes, trying to focus on the heat of Danny’s body against his. He’d wanted him for years. He’d jerked off to him every damn time he was drunk and home alone. The amount of times that he’d whispered Danny’s name into a pillow while some anonymous guy fucked him from behind was innumerable.

So why couldn’t he just turn his fucking brain off and enjoy this?

He forced himself to slide a hand through Danny’s hair, just barely avoiding tangling in the messy curls, and he felt the other man’s breath hitch as he touched him. Yeah, c’mon, just like that, give in to me. As Danny melted slowly, he slid his arms around Brian’s waist, one hand fisting in his shirt.

Just like he was supposed to. Almost on cue. Thank God, thank God.

He just had to get Danny to fuck him. If he could goad him on until he was bruising Brian’s hips in those beautiful hands of his, then even better. He just needed him to let go. He needed him to see that Brian was fine, and that he didn’t need to worry, and that everything was going to be okay, and nothing was going to fall apart.

He needed Danny to fucking swallow him whole. Trap him in his ribs. Let him snuggle up right next to his heart, where it was warm and safe.

Danny tried to pull away from the kiss, but Brian pursued him, and he felt the moan against his lips as he gave into him again. The bedroom wasn’t too far away, but Brian didn’t know if he trusted himself to get Danny that far without questions coming up.

It had been quite a while since he’d been fucked on the floor, feeling the carpet fibers scrape his body to hell and back. Did Danny still have lube in here? He’d jokingly told him that he had a bottle of lube in every room in the house, just in case – that it was always good for a gag, at least, even if it never got used. Condoms? Whatever. They were fluid bonded now.

He didn’t fucking want anybody else, just...just Danny, just this, just the promise that it would never end.

Promises fell apart as fast as cheap toys. So did wedding rings. So did mortgages and two names on the insurance and everything whispered between the sheets-

God, his mind was fucking everywhere. He zeroed in on Danny again, coaxing him down to the ground, until he could scramble into his lap and grind against the hardness he felt in his jeans. Brian winced – he himself wasn’t hard, and the sensitivity of his flaccid cock being pressed against something so unforgiving was painful in a horrible way rather than a pleasurable one, but…

Fuck, why wasn’t he fucking hard?!

He eased a hand between their hips to hide it, bucking the heel of his palm against Danny’s cock and swallowing up the sweet moans he fed him in response. Tongues tangled, slick and hot.

It was when Danny reached to lace their other hands together that Brian’s heart skittered in his chest.

What was he doing? Why did he think this was the right way to go?

Just...get over it, Jesus, just let him fuck you, c’mon, he’s ready, he’s into it, and he’ll forget all about whatever the hell is going on in your head if you can just man up and do this shit.

Brian let go of his hand and reached between them to open up Danny’s jeans. He pushed him to the floor with his chest and held him there, panting against his mouth for just a second before he resumed the sloppy, unfocused kisses – ones that Danny kept trying to take control of, and that Brian would ignore. He yanked his lover’s jeans and boxers down and took him in hand, jerking him to full hardness with no real rhythm. His palm felt too dry against the smooth skin of Danny’s cock and he bit back the urge to apologize.

Just a little more. Maybe he could even try to take him dry. It’d hurt like hell, they’d be risking pain and bleeding and...but maybe it’d be better than stopping to look for the lube, and-

Danny’s hand suddenly touched between Brian’s legs, flush against his soft dick. And he froze.

They both did. Brian kept his lips lightly pressed against Danny’s, brain frantically looking for an excuse. A solution.

Danny turned his head and let out a shaky breath and, goddamn it all, but he spoke before Brian could think to kiss him again. “You’re not...you’re not hard.”

Fuck. Fuck. Any other day it would’ve taken no time at all for Brian to quip something out and get the show on the road again, but here? Now? A cold sweat beaded over his neck and forehead, and he dropped his hands to the carpet, holding there, staring at Danny’s chest.

“Are you not enjoying this?”

I love it, Brian wanted to say. But he couldn’t loosen his jaw. His teeth ground together painfully, making his vision blur.

“You don’t need to do this,” Danny said quietly, his soft voice tickling over Brian’s skin. A drop of sweat ghosted down his own cheek, as if chasing the words. “I’d rather just talk to you. See what’s going on. You don’t have to keep...hiding it.”

Something began building in Brian’s stomach as he sat up slowly. It traveled gradually up his chest. His throat.

“It’s...it’s been hard, isn’t it?” Danny whispered. “You didn’t want me to know it was hard. That...that something was going on. Because if I did...”

Brian shook his head. Where were the words to tell him to shut up? Why was he trembling?

“...if I knew something was wrong, I’d ask, and you wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore.”

Oh God, oh God, oh God…

Danny touched his cheek – his sweat-slick, overheated, ugly, disgusting cheek. “Brian, please tell me what’s wrong. I can’t watch you like this. I love you too much to let you hurt like this alone.”

Brian was off him like a flash.

“Brian!”

He ran – but he ran straight down the hall, stumbling into the bathroom and flinging himself on his knees in front of the toilet. It was too similar, spilling the contents of his stomach because of Danny - almost like the past few months hadn’t even happened.

The difference was that he wasn’t alone. Arms wrapped around his ribs, a warm and insistent presence, and Brian squeezed his eyes shut.

Humiliation wouldn’t even come to him, and neither would shame. After all this time of holding back, hot tears streamed down his cheeks as he struggled to take a full breath. “I-I can’t anymore,” Brian stammered. His fingers dug into the porcelain, trembling, trying to find purchase in anything around him. “It’s too much, i-it’s just too...”

“I’ve got you.” Danny’s voice, though tight with emotion, was soft in his ears, like silk dragged over sensitive skin. “It’s okay, Bri, I’m here, I’ve got you, you’re not alone anymore.”

He leaned back into the weight of Danny, nothing left to vomit, and shook in his arms, head tilting back so that the light from the hallway bled past his eyelids. The sounds he made – choked sobs – didn’t sound human, and he scarcely believed they came from him. All he knew and felt was the pain in his body, everything he’d been holding back for months – years – coming out in his tears. The fear, the agony, the knowledge that no one could put up with the amount of shit that Brian carried in his heart.

But Danny was right there. Right there. He wasn’t leaving. He was rocking Brian back and forth and whispering sweet comforting words. “You’re never gonna be alone again,” he said at one point in a voice that barely sounded like his own, and Brian had just enough presence of mind to realize that Danny was crying too.

Brian hadn’t let anyone see his tears in years. He hadn’t let anyone cry for him in even longer. But here, in this tiny safe room, with nothing but love surrounding him, even as horrible as it felt to let go, he couldn’t do anything else.

Not when Danny was giving him permission – and the acceptance to spill over the riverbanks.

Brian twisted in his arms and buried his face in Danny’s neck, soaking him in tears as he clung to him like a child. Yet Danny held on. He was firm. He wouldn’t be toppled over like a Lego tower. Everything that Brian feared – that he was too much for someone, that he didn’t deserve to be loved, that it was only a matter of time before he was left alone – stayed at bay. None of it came true.

There was time yet for his thoughts to be proven right. But he was damn glad it wasn’t tonight.

After long minutes of weeping, strength left Brian, until he was dry of tears and aching. He wasn’t a young man anymore. He couldn’t just throw himself around and have tantrums like this without a bone deep burning in all parts of his body – his bruised knees, his pained lungs, his red eyes. But even as he whispered two words - “I’m sorry” - Danny didn’t let go.

“Let’s get you to bed,” Danny murmured, running a hand through the short cropped hair on top of Brian’s head and leaving tingling in his wake. “C’mon. Easy does it.”

Never had Brian seen this side of Danny before – this calm, gentle, coaxing part of him that drew Brian up to his feet. He could almost imagine him taking a crying child into his arms and carrying him away to rock him until he could breathe again. He’d never said a word about wanting children, but the image was fixed in Brian’s mind now so vividly that he let the fascination distract him from just how hard it was to stand.

He leaned into Danny heavily with a sigh that nearly started his tears again – how was he so tired? The steps out of the bathroom, into the hallway, and down to the bedroom should’ve taken seconds, but they felt like hours, each careful placement of his foot taking intense deliberation lest he bring them both down to the ground.

He’d pulled all nighters while working on his PHD. He and Danny both had stayed up for days on end when they were at a crunch point with their albums. But he’d never felt this exhausted before.

It’s all caught up to me, he thought with a certain calm. It’s here. There’s no getting out of it, is there?

It was a bit clumsy, but once he sat Brian on the edge of his bed, Danny tugged the shirt over Brian’s head, along with his shoes and jeans. He hesitated and looked at his dresser – considering pajamas, maybe – before he shook his head and gently eased Brian down. His head landed on a pillow as soft as a cloud.

Faint panic sparked in his gut, and he grabbed hold of Danny’s hands, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“I’m here.” Danny smiled at him. He kicked off his pants and crawled into bed in his shirt and boxers, then curled up beside him. “It’s okay, Bri. Everything’s gonna be okay now. Got it?”

Brian opened his mouth, but his voice, so raw from crying, was impossible to find, and he settled for nodding as he nuzzled into the soft, well worn cotton of his lover’s t-shirt. A deep breath filled his mind with nothing but Danny – his smile, his laugh, his love.

Under the hand petting up and down his back and the quiet, faint humming of what Brian recognized as a lullaby, he fell asleep within seconds, plunging into a dreamless state of weariness.

 ~~

 He’s out. Danny let out a deep breath and closed his eyes as he felt Brian relax. He’s out, okay, it’s...it’s okay.

How he’d managed to hold up such a calm facade, he had no idea. He wasn’t built for this. Going from burning alive for Brian’s touch to crying into the back of his neck within sixty seconds nearly gave him whiplash. Hell, the fact that he’d even gotten him calm in the first place when he was falling apart at the seams...

How had he missed all the fucking signs along the way?

Danny rubbed his eyes as he rolled onto his back, tugging Brian closer as he went. Brian twitched in his sleep, but stayed under, and Danny exhaled slowly.

It didn’t make sense for Brian to fall apart. That was part of it. Brian was an incredible wall of intellect and cleverness. He didn’t give into these silly emotions like everybody else around him. He was unflappable to the very end. Right?

Apparently not.

God, how he’d shaken while Danny held him. He’d sounded like a fucking wild animal as he let out all the shit he’d been dealing with, wail after wail after wail. Danny was used to a more primal Brian in one instance only, and what happened in the bathroom had nothing to do with that. How eagerly he’d tried to seduce Danny – and how quickly he’d succeeded…

Had he done that before?

Danny’s mind flitted to the last time Brian had been so eagerly spontaneous – the bathroom at the restaurant – and covered his eyes as the weight of what must have been going on in Brian’s head sank down on him. He’d been trying to escape. Or distract him. Or both. And Danny had played right into his hands.

What a fucking shitty boyfriend he was, letting himself get caught up in being busy and working his ass off instead of paying attention to how Brian was falling apart. When was the last time he’d offered to help him pack for the move? Or that he’d even stopped by just to see him? Was this all about the move and nothing else?

No, the man who’d fallen to pieces and cried like that, it had to be about something different than planning for a new future. Right? Or was he wrong?

He couldn’t do this by himself. There was a reason that Danny’s preferred method of helping people going through things leaned on distraction rather than intimate conversation. He hadn’t even asked Brian what he needed, or said anything to help. All he could do was hold him and cry with him.

The depth of despair that Brian had felt… Even now, it could suffocate Danny as he considered it. He’d never been as empathetic with someone like he was with Brian. Was this what love was, truly and deeply, or was there a connection there that he could only ever have with this man?

So many questions. So much pain. So much that Danny couldn’t just fix. He hadn’t been in a long term relationship in years. How was he supposed to know how to handle it without fucking things up and making Brian feel worse?

Arin. He thought of the words he’d shared earlier that day – how he pointed out none so delicately that Brian was fraying at the seams, and had been for quite some time. How he’d shaken Danny out of his cluelessness and had told him with complete seriousness that if he loved Brian, he’d call him on his bullshit and get him to stop hiding whatever was going on. He’d anticipated having to do a little more work to get him to come out about it. He’d thought there would be deflection and laughter. The afterglow, he’d reasoned as Brian plied him with kisses, would be the perfect time to get him to start opening up about it, both of them floating in the honest intimacy that they ended up in every time.

Arin had been doing this for a lot longer than Brian and Danny had. He and Suzy had one of the healthiest relationships he’d ever seen. So maybe he could help.

Danny gently extricated himself from Brian’s arms, and when he heard the other man mumble something in his sleep he leaned to kiss his forehead, his heart swelling in his chest. He needed all the help he could get.

He wasn’t going to risk losing Brian over something as simple as this. As surprised as he’d been by the events of the day, he still knew him. He knew that Brian wouldn’t hesitate to run, if he thought it was better for Danny. Hadn’t he done that already? He’d gone to a whole fucking other country just to get some distance between them, even when he knew that Danny was falling apart over it – all to hide how he felt.

No more of that. Danny stroked Brian’s cheek, his forehead creasing with fervor. It’s you and me, man. You’re not gonna call the shots for me anymore. We’re figuring this life shit out together.

As he left him sleeping in his bed, Danny closed the door quietly behind him, then went to the living room and pulled out his phone. He shot Arin a text. “Can you maybe come talk to me about Brian? He’s here at my house. Sleeping. Things got bad. I think we’re fine, but I don’t know what the fuck to do when he wakes up.”

Arin’s quick “On my way now” reassured Danny to the point of sitting down and taking a deep breath. If he held all this in, would he melt down just like Brian had? He thought of the therapy he used to have – how it was the only place he could actually talk about what he was feeling without worrying what others would think of him. Suddenly he missed it, and he regretted laying his shit on Arin when he was just a friend – not even a professional paid to get his time taken up.

Was there a decent therapist nearby in town?

He didn’t have to wait long. Traffic appeared blessedly light, and a few minutes later there was a text coming through. “I’m outside. Didn’t wanna knock and wake him up.” Small favors. Danny went to the door and let Arin in, and immediately hugged him. Something he was thankful for in his relationship was that it inspired him to be more relaxed with touching his friends. That hug felt like the one thing keeping him afloat.

“Hey,” Arin murmured, squeezing him unabashedly in his arms. “He still asleep?”

“Yeah.” Danny pulled back and sighed. “I-I honestly don’t think he’s slept much for weeks now. You were right. He looks like fucking hell.”

Arin looked at the bedroom door as he moved past, rubbing the back of his neck, while Danny locked the door again behind him. “Yeah. Hell, he might sleep through the night. Might be just what he needs.”

Danny leaned into the door and curled his hand into a fist against it. “How didn’t I see it? I fucking work right next to him-”

“Hey.” Arin caught his arm and pulled him away, guiding him toward the couch. “No, don’t do that. That’s just gonna eat you up inside, dude. The past is the past. You gotta move forward. Both of you do.”

Danny nodded. They sat together, Danny perched right on the edge of the cushion, wanting to be able to spring to his feet if he heard Brian so much as start to stir. “I just...I was so fucking blind. My own boyfriend...I hate that I didn’t catch it. I don’t know how to do better in the future.”

“We can talk about that later.” Arin kicked off his shoes and curled up on the couch, watching Danny closely. “We��ve gotta talk about Brian, man. I don’t know what he’s gonna do when he wakes up. He’s been pretty damn deflective for weeks now. He could just try to pretend that nothing happened, or that we’re blowing it out of proportion, or...”

“Yeah.” He tented his hands and pressed them to his lips. The temptation to let more self hatred pour out was almost impossible to resist, but...no, he had to focus on Brian right now. All of him. “What do you think was going on? I haven’t even gotten to ask him yet.”

“You didn’t get anything?”

Danny shook his head. “He got here, he tried to, uh...distract me, and then when I tried to get him to talk he just fucking broke down. Threw up. Started crying. It was fucking bad, dude. Broke my goddamn heart.” His throat tightened up again in response, and he looked away. “Did I do this? Did me asking him to move in do it?”

“No, I don’t think that adds up. Didn’t you say he was excited when you first talked about it?”

“I think he was.” Every part of their relationship was cast in a different light now. He didn’t want to believe that Brian had been lying to him about how he was feeling this entire time – that he was happy and at ease in their relationship – but how was he supposed to tell for sure? “He’d...yeah, he looked like he was super stoked that I’d even brought it up. We talked about how I wanted him to know I was serious. He didn’t try to talk me out of it, he just...”

Arin hummed quietly in acknowledgment, and Danny felt like he could break under the gentle sympathy. “I don’t think this was your fault. If you’re thinking it is, get it out of your head right now.”

Bastard, knowing exactly what Danny was thinking. He stared at his feet instead of looking at Arin and showing him every damn thought in his head.

“Have you ever seen him break down like that today?”

Danny shook his head. “Not once. We’ve spent so much time together, and I’ve never seen him tear up. Not even when he’d get drunk and talk about his parents or anything, it was just...calm. Serene.”

Arin sighed. “That means it probably goes back fucking far as dicks.”

“You think so?” He blinked at him.

“Yeah. What’s the phrase, still waters run deep?” Arin stared back at him, chewing on his bottom lip thoughtfully. “Like, let’s think about what we know. He’s a perfectionist. He’s a master of bragging humor. He builds himself up constantly-”

“-and maybe it’s the opposite of what he feels?” Danny wrinkled his brow. “That’s what you’re getting at?”

“I mean, it could be, right?”

Had he been barely holding himself together their entire friendship? Danny thought back, remembering quiet conversations years before they even met Arin, when Brian would let something self-deprecating slip out under his breath, then laugh it off when Danny would look at him – as if he hadn’t even thought he’d notice what he said.

“What the fuck do I do?” Danny asked quietly.

“Talk to him.” Arin put a hand on Danny’s arm, a quiet but strong connection that Danny clung to. “Find out what he’s going through. Then just...go from there.”

“To what?” Danny bubbled up with a bitter laugh. “How am I gonna be any help to him? I’m just the asshole who brags about how he fucking stopped therapy and medication all on his own! No trouble! Just, yep, toss your pill bottle in the fucking water, guys, it’s all good!”

“You don’t do that,” Arin murmured. “Every single time you tell that story, you make sure to say that people all have to do things differently – that you got lucky. What do you think’s gonna happen, that you’ll just...send him over the edge?”

Danny covered his face with his hands. Utter helplessness spread through him. “I just...I don’t...”

“Danny, listen to me. You’re the only person here, between the two of us, who knows what it feels like when everything’s too hard to bear. When you can’t figure out how to go on anymore. And if Brian feels even a little bit like that...then you’re the best person to help him.”

“But I might fuck up-”

“Okay.”

Danny looked up at him, frowning.

“People fuck up.” Arin slid closer and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and Danny collapsed into him. “I’m not saying you’re supposed to save him, dude – that’d be fucked up of me. Brian has to be the one to decide he wants help for whatever it is he might be going through. But you can be by his side and show him that it’s not a lost cause.” He paused. “The amount of times that Suzy has brought me up out of a fog just with her telling me she loves me, or that I’m not alone, or pointing out something about me that she thinks is amazing...it’s incredible. It works. And it’ll work for you too.”

“It’s not that easy, is it?”

Arin shook his head with a wry sort of smile. “It’s never easy. I wish it was. Whatever’s gonna happen here, it’s a process, okay? You know that.”

He did. It had taken ages until he felt exasperated enough to throw away his medication, then even longer before he came out from under the foggy withdrawal of what it had done to him. He’d been warned it wouldn’t be easy, and they were right. “I just...want him to know I’m not running away. Even if he feels like shit. Even if things feel hard. I’m staying.”

“Then tell him that.”

Danny nodded. “Yeah.” It wasn’t hard. Just being the one to tell Brian that he wasn’t alone – even if he thought he deserved it – could do so much good, he thought optimistically. And it was one step toward doing better than he had. No more missing the signs of his lover struggling. He didn’t want to baby him or hold his hand all the time – and Brian would probably throw a fit if he did – but he had to get his head out of his own ass.

Things had changed for them. Their relationship was completely different than it ever had been before. He couldn’t keep treating Brian like he was still just his best friend and nothing else. He had to keep his eyes open and see things that he might’ve never called him on before because of how he was raised – believing that guys had to work through their shit on their own.

He wouldn’t have ignored the signs of a girlfriend going through pain or trauma. He wasn’t going to do that for his boyfriend either.

“Do you really think I can help him and not ruin everything?” he asked quietly, searching Arin’s gaze for answers. “That...that I can stick around and show him how serious I am about this? And help him through shit?”

Arin grinned. There wasn’t a single question in his eyes. No doubt. No consideration. Just a strong, unwavering faith – exactly what he needed. “Dude, you know you can do anything, right? If I had to pick, I’d always want you at my back.”

It was so weird, how things had changed in just the past few months. Before he’d dated Brian, Danny would’ve laughed and joked away from the way his words embraced his heart and made him feel…happy. He would’ve shied away from feeling an intimacy between the two of them. But it was okay. It wasn’t weird or bad or wrong. It didn’t make Danny weak.

Finally he could see why Arin loved being as open and touchy-feely and kind as he was. It felt fucking amazing, if he could just drop his guard and invite people in.

“You want me to stick around for a while?” Arin asked quietly.

“Nah.” Danny slipped out from under his arm and stood with a sigh. “I...I want it to be just me, this first time. Is that selfish?”

“What, to want to be the guy your boyfriend leans on? To want to prove to him that you’re gonna stick by him no matter what?” Arin scoffed and rolled his eyes, smile widening. “You’re golden, bro, c’mon.”

Danny pulled Arin into a hug. Only a moment of hesitation – surprise, he was willing to bet – happened before Arin wrapped his arms around him in response. “Thank you. Seriously. I-I feel like I can actually do this now – whatever it is.”

“You need anything, you call me, okay? I’m serious. Any day, any time, I’m here.”

Danny squeezed his eyes shut and shakily exhaled. He’d never had such a fervent belief in someone being like a brother to him. He believed Arin. “Thank you. Uh, same, I mean it.”

Arin broke the embrace with a beaming smile. “Text me tonight about how things went, okay?”

“You got it.”

As Danny let Arin out, he lingered at the door, watching him walk away with a quiet sigh. Regardless of how Arin had built him up, there was still the temptation to be intimidated by what was about to happen. He had no idea what had made Brian break down in such a disastrous way. If it had anything to do with Danny, he’d feel guiltier than he could say, and the likelihood that he’d break down again was high. It was terrifying to think about. He didn’t want someone he loved to turn into that ruined, animalistic creature again. He wanted him to be okay.

It’ll take time, he reminded himself as he slipped back inside and shut the door behind him. Stay the course. Talk to him. And it’ll be okay.

He made his way to the bedroom and lingered for a moment, watching Brian’s peacefully sleeping face. Was there tension still in his body? Pain? Could he feel what was hurting him even still?

He crawled under the sheets with him and curled up close. He’d wait.

 ~~

 When he began to stir, he was sore as hell.

For a few blissful moments, Brian had no memory of what had happened to make him so tense in the first place – and then it came crashing down, every single thing he’d been trying to avoid for weeks, and he heaved a sigh and rubbed his eyes.

It had come for him, then. All of it. All the pain. The agony. The fear. The frustration. It had hit him all at once to the tune of Danny’s voice.

But it was okay. He could still talk his way out of it. Though he felt exhausted down to his bones, sleep wasn’t an option anymore, and he felt oddly like he’d gone through some kind of catharsis. So he needed to have a breakdown every now and again. That was just fine. He could manage to do that in a far more private way in the future.

He could even make sure that Danny was calm. That he didn’t think any of this had to do with him. That it was a fluke, and it would never happen again.

Easy.

He opened his eyes, then pulled back when he saw Danny’s face a few inches from his own. Shit. He thought he’d have a few more minutes to figure out a plan. Just seeing the way his eyes sparkled in the low light from the curtains gripped Brian’s heart with guilt. Why wasn’t he stronger? Why did he have to exist in this pathetic, humiliating way? Why had he made Danny worry by seeing him like that?

Danny brushed his fingers over Brian’s cheek, and he fought the urge to lean into his touch. The stronger he could be, the better.

“You can keep sleeping,” Danny murmured. For once, there wasn’t an ever present smile shining at him. Just that quiet neutrality.

Brian grunted and shook his head. He could still taste the vomit in his mouth. He hadn’t even rinsed it out before he fell asleep. He rolled onto his back so Danny didn’t have to smell it. “I’m fine.” Fine in every way. If he kept sleeping, he’d only wake up feeling like he’d been put away wet again, and he would risk it being taken as a sign of weakness. And though he might be weak, Danny sure as hell didn’t need to know that.

“Okay.”

“Seriously. I’m fine.”

Danny hummed in acknowledgment – in that little way that told Brian he didn’t believe him for a second – and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he looked toward the closet. Silence stretched between them both. No, Danny suspected that something was very wrong – maybe even pitied him – and it only made the guilt stab claws a little deeper into his soul. I have to do better. I can’t keep living like this. I have to hide it more. What kind of asshole has a PHD and can’t even put on a good show? There was a reason Brian rarely went to improv classes with them. He knew his weaknesses.

Maybe he needed to take a few more anyway.

“Brian.” Danny touched his arm, and the bare tickle sent a shock straight up to his shoulder. He wished he wouldn’t touch him. With every second of contact, Brian felt something lurching in his body – something that could collapse at any moment. “Can we talk about how you’ve been feeling recently-”

“What, tired as hell?” Brian snorted. “That’s how I’ve felt for the past few years, Danny, and if you’re that worried about an old man not getting very good sleep, I regret to inform you that you’re going to be seeing a hell of a lot of it once we’re living together. Insomnia is genetic. My mom had it. I have it. It’s just normal, all right?” He turned his head to look at him – sealing the deal. “Seriously, don’t worry about it.”

Danny stared back at him. For the first time, Brian saw the flicker of hurt in his gaze, and he swallowed it down. He’d punish himself with it. He’d show himself what would happen if he couldn’t get better at dealing with his own shit. He’d lose Danny that much faster.

He could avoid that, if he just tried.

Danny pressed his lips into a thin line as he flicked his gaze over his face, like he was trying to memorize him. Was this it? Was this where he told him he wouldn’t be moving in? Bile tinged the back of Brian’s throat, and he swallowed, desperately trying to keep it down.

When Danny opened his mouth, his words were quiet but firm. “Why do you need to lie to me?”

He hadn’t expected things to be laid out quite so cleanly. Brian opened his mouth, then closed it again, wrinkling his brow. It was a hell of a question. Apparently he hadn’t done nearly as well with concealing how he’d been feeling as he thought he had. A wordless sound came out, embarrassing, and Brian looked away. He had a sharp awareness of the location of the door. Of where his keys were. Of where he parked. Run, his body whispered, run, run.

There was nowhere to run, though. Not anymore.

He was a fucking idiot, acting like he could just shove everything down and hide it once more when he’d already showed it in stunning clarity. Only someone worth their salt could manage that game, and Brian certainly wasn’t. The beginnings of hysteria kissed his mind. After all that time spent trying to look like someone better than he was to Danny…

It had been wasted. Either he could lie to him again and hurt him, or he could just...talk about it, so that at least Danny knew he wasn’t trying to burn things down intentionally.

Could he do it? Could he show him an ugly place inside of himself? He tensed, and Danny thumbed over the sensitive skin on his inner arm, up and down and up and down, a dizzying rhythm that made his head spin. I already did. He thought of the vomit in the toilet – the second time that he’d spilled from his emotions toward Danny. How did this man have such a grasp of him? How did he made it so damn easy to wiggle deep down inside of Brian and stir up the parts that he hadn’t touched in years?

“I’m not worthy of you.”

Silence. “What?”

He absolutely hadn’t meant to say it out loud. Brian sat up and rubbed his eyes. Lightheaded from his earlier exertions, he nearly tipped out of the bed, and Danny caught him, then kept an arm around his shoulders. Numbness spread deep through him like ice, but the warmth of Danny’s touch began to thaw it, and when he realized his vision was blurring again he felt a stab of familiar panic. No, no, he wasn’t going to cry again. He didn’t fucking do that.

“What do you mean, you’re not worthy of me?” Danny asked softly – coaxing him like he might a wild animal – and Brian choked on another rough sound. What right did Danny have to sound so gentle? So sympathetic? Like he could hold the world on his shoulders like Atlas and never flinch under the weight of it?

Brian was heavy. He could drag him down beneath the surface of his emotions and fucking drown him there. He couldn’t make him suffer like that.

But the game was so damn exhausting. Keeping the mask polished and in place, hiding the stress he felt, keeping people distracted by the gilding on his life… Eventually the facade would have to crack. It was only a matter of time before Arin would’ve caught a sign like he had with that coffee mug. Within days of moving in with Danny, he could almost guarantee he would’ve snapped and shattered something. It had to fall apart, logically.

Perhaps it was better for everything to fall to pieces here and now, before Brian had moved in.

“Danny, fucking look at me,” he whispered roughly. He lifted his hands – dry, calloused, wrinkling, already dotting here and there with hints of the age spots to come. Just from that angle he could see the unattractive swell of his belly – could remember how it bulged beneath his shirts no matter how perfect his posture was. He could see the stretch marks that coursed over his thighs where his boxers were riding up. “Don’t you get it?”

Danny crawled around to face him and sat with his knees gently pressed against Brian’s. Brian could instantly see how his face didn’t have a wrinkle on it. How his hair, even flattened from laying on the pillow, held a sort of life to it that spoke of the effervescence inside of him. How his eyelashes were long and his lips smooth. He was gorgeous. “...okay, so, what am I looking at, exactly?” Danny asked as he tilted his head to the side and skimmed his eyes up and down Brian’s face, torso, and legs.

He paused. “...I look like a troll beside you.”

Danny burst out laughing so suddenly that spittle hit Brian’s face, and he covered his mouth as Brian howled in frustration and wiped it away. “I-I’m so sorry, Bri, I just, are you fucking kidding me?” Danny grinned as he reached out and cupped his face. “Fucking look at you. Do you know how annoying it is that all I have to do is look at your eyes and I get hard? Those are panty droppers, man! I’d kill to have your eyes!”

Brian frowned and glanced down. “Okay, but-”

“Guess what?” Danny’s hand slid down to cup the back of Brian’s neck. “You don’t look like a supermodel. And neither do I. I look like a prepubescent boy most days. Do you know who I’d kill to have an ass like you do? I literally look like a child. I can’t stand it.”

That was absolutely impossible. Brian shook his head, but he couldn’t find the words.

“Do you miss the fact that all you have to do is say one damn word to me, and I’m ready to fuck you? Do you think that’s just a game?” Danny looked over him again this time, but far slower. “Like a troll. You’ve gotta be joking. You’re the first guy I’ve ever noticed an attraction to.”

“Is that not suspicious to you? I...Danny, you never felt attraction to a man before? Literally never? That’s not how it works. Attraction can feel differently for various genders, yes, but there’s not just a gay-for-you thing out there outside of movies or books or whatever.”

Danny chewed on his bottom lip as he seemed to consider it. “...you think I’ve never thought about that before? What’re you so worried about there?”

“That I manipulated you into thinking you were attracted to me, obviously.”

Danny shot him a look. The shock in his eyes told Brian that he’d never so much as pondered the idea. “You’re joking.”

“No!” Finally frustration bubbled over. “None of this is joking! Why would I kid about this? Why would I fucking want to throw a wrench in my relationship with the man I fucking love over a joke? Would you stop asking that?!”

With the way he’d leaned back a few inches, Danny was taken aback, but he came forward again just as quickly and rested his hands on Brian’s bare thighs. His touch wiggled past his desire to run all over again, rooting him to the sheets. “Okay. That was fucked up of me to say. I’m sorry, seriously, I wasn’t thinking, but, like...you’ve gotta understand that I’ve never felt that way. Ever. Before I even knew you were interested in me, I was already struggling with how I felt about you. Remember? It wasn’t you, dude. I’d been freaking out about it for fucking years. How the hell could you have manipulated me into wanting you if you’d been literally on the other side of the planet to keep that from happening?”

Ah, logic. Normally his best friend. It felt like his worst enemy now. He only liked logic if it played into his plans, but here? Trying to undo what he’d believed for every damn day they’d been together? Impossible.

“It’s not just that, it’s...” It was all so hard to say. These were dirty little secrets he’d kept quiet for a reason. Even now he wanted to shut down.

“Bri. Please, man, we’ve gotta talk about this.”

But he couldn’t hold it in. Not if Danny was going to sound so desperate.

“You’re going to figure out one day,” Brian murmured, “that I’m not who you think I am.”

Danny watched him so closely that Brian half hoped he could read his mind and see exactly what he meant without him having to say every painful word. “...like, how do you mean that?”

What sort of secrets did Danny think he’d been keeping from him? Brian sighed. “Everyone always thinks that I’m this brilliant perfect guy. Right? Intelligent, educated, no boundaries, no discomforts. It’s obnoxious. Like everybody thinks I’m a fucking robot instead of a man with flesh and blood and too much shit to hide.” He shook his head. “I’m not that smart. C’mon. What kind of genius would deal with the things I do?”

“I don’t understand-”

“The fucking imposter syndrome? Hating what I see every time I look in a mirror? Knowing that it’s only a matter of time before things fall apart? If I was actually smart, I could hold it all back and-”

“Okay, stop there. Stop.” Danny grabbed both of his hands and squeezed them. “First of all, let’s just wipe that shit out of your brain right now, okay? That you need to hide it. Why would you need to do that?”

Spoken like a man who’d never felt the shadow of his failings hanging over him like an anvil. “It’s a lot, Danny. I can’t put everything I think and feel on you. You’d be exhausted. I’d be bleeding you from emotional labor every single fucking day, until you left me...” His throat tightened, and he tried to swallow it down. No. Not right now. He was better than crying like a child every thirty seconds. “I’m not going to make you put up with all of my shit.”

“Even if I want to?”

“Especially if you want to.” He forced himself to hold his gaze. “That’s how relationships go down the tubes. Someone has a Messiah complex, and someone leans on that person too hard and expects them to fix them.”

He knew that Danny couldn’t disagree. They’d seen it happen way too many times in the years they’d been friends – men expecting their girlfriends to be the only person to listen to their fears and pain, girls demanding their boyfriend’s utmost attention every second of every day rather than letting them go out with friends where they couldn’t watch them. The constant societal pressure of having a ‘one and only’ and how unhealthy it was. It would’ve been far too easy for Brian to slip into that mindset. Danny was soft and sweet and spongey, and he would’ve soaked up every bit of Brian’s pain without even questioning it, until it overwhelmed him. Brian would’ve taken and taken and taken, and Danny would’ve crumbled into dust.

He’d never do that to him. Ever.

For a long moment, they were both silent, no rebuttals, no plans, no magic methods to fix everything. But then Danny crawled forward, right into his lap, and wrapped his arms around his neck. He pressed their foreheads together. Brian expected him to kiss him – maybe to lull him away from the darkness in his mind with his body, like Brian always leaned on – but Danny just...stayed there. Held him. Touched him. Shared his breath with him. And, as the seconds ticked by, Brian’s heart pounded.

“I’m not gonna try to fix you, dude,” Danny whispered. He brushed a kiss over the tip of his nose, such a tender gesture that Brian’s eyes watered. “That’s not my job. I know it’s not. You think I’ve never felt like you have?”

Brian closed his eyes and held his breath. He wouldn’t break, he wouldn’t.

“I’ve been there. I’ve hated myself. I’ve thought I threw my life away. I...” He stayed quiet, but Brian saw an image in his mind anyway – the wall he’d stared at, sitting on his floor, listening to the silence after he’d told Danny he’d be leaving for the United Kingdom. How that must’ve felt...how he must’ve believed that everything he’d ever worked for had fallen to pieces. Maybe even wished he’d never sent the email introducing himself to Brian in the first place.

I’m so sorry, he thought, tucking his arms around Danny’s trim waist and holding him even closer.

“I didn’t wanna be a burden on anybody either. My friends. My girlfriends. My family. It felt like if I told even one person what I was going through, everything would shut down, but...I did end up telling somebody. Just one. You know who?”

Brian shook his head.

“I had a fucking amazing therapist.”

Something sharp and venomous spread through Brian’s mouth. He couldn’t imagine doing that – sitting in front of a stranger once or twice a month, saying every intimate secret he’d ever kept locked down tight. How selfish that seemed. How infuriating a job that had to be, listening to people be weak every single day for hours and hours on end.

He opened his mouth to say something biting, but the words wouldn’t come.

Danny kissed his forehead next, like he didn’t even care how wrinkled it was, and continued to murmur the words against his skin. “You’re a fucking master in your field, Bri. You and me both know you are. You’ve studied that shit until you knew it in your sleep – things nobody else would ever discover. And that’s what she had too, my old therapist. She knew things that none of my friends or family or partners would ever be able to say to help me. She walked me through getting on meds. She walked me through my withdrawal too, when I got off them. She was fucking amazing. If I had my way, I’d take you to her right damn now.”

Brian dug his fingers into the back of Danny’s shirt. Mortified, he realized he was trembling again – that the pressure on his eyes was from how he refused to open his lids even slightly, because he couldn’t let those tears fall.

“We could find you somebody. I wouldn’t let you settle, okay? I’d help you go down a list until you found somebody you felt right with. Someone that didn’t make you feel like you were stupid or weak. Someone who’d help you build your own coping strategies. Who’d help you stop your lies.”

He shook his head out of instinct, but Danny’s words shone light into his chest.

“You know they’re lies, right? You know I love you. That everybody loves you. And all we want is for you to see the handsome, brilliant, talented, incredible man we all see every day.”

He couldn’t believe that. He knew that he was a fantastic liar, and he’d been pulling the wool over people’s eyes for years, but...but he wanted to believe it. He wanted to think that the people he loved more than life itself loved him in the exact same way. Could it really be that simple? Why was it so fucking hard to knock the cobwebs out of his brain and think that, just once, he could be loveable?

Danny clung to him. He hugged him until Brian could barely breathe – and then he realized it was from the sobs he was holding back. That Danny could read him – could feel it, and knew exactly what he needed to let go. “Will you just try it? For me? Try getting some help? I-I can’t watch you hate yourself like this. I love you, Brian.”

That was it. It was too much. He buried his face in Danny’s bony shoulder and let out the tears, soaking straight through his shirt. He couldn’t keep doing this on his own. He’d hated himself these past few weeks – far more than he ever had before. Just indulging the thoughts was enough to suffocate him.

He wanted to see the man that Danny saw every time he looked at him. The man that he kissed, hugged, and made love to. The man that made his eyes look like stars when he stared down at him in those moments right before he pressed inside of him. Was Brian so brilliantly deceptive that he’d made Danny look at him like that? Or was there in fact some good inside of him that he had lost sight of years before?

“I-I don’t even know when it started.” The words were slurred, and it was all well and good – he didn’t know if he wanted Danny to hear them in the first place. “It wasn’t always like this, i-it wasn’t always so...”

“It won’t be.” Tears were on Danny’s voice again, and Brian hated himself for making the man he adored cry, but fuck, he loved Danny twice as much for crying for him so easily. “It’s not gonna be like this forever, I promise. We’re gonna get you help. And I’m gonna be right there with you. I’ll go with you. I’ll hold your hand the whole fucking time. It’s gonna be okay, babe, I promise.”

As Danny rocked him slowly, something about the motion seemed to stir the fog in Brian’s body. The darkness that had held over him for so long began to move, until a faint light shone through it and barely illuminated his heart. It wasn’t vibrant. Not enough to burn. Barely even enough to be seen at all. But it was there. For once, the black was shifting to gray.

It was the promise of hope and change in the air. And, as Brian cried out every tear in his body, he clung to it and welcomed it closer, inviting it in.

 ~~

 “I think that’s them!”

“You think the giant truck pulling up to your house is anything but the moving company?” Brian drawled, and Danny laughed, swatting his shoulder.

They’d done it, then. It had been hard as hell, and they’d been up past midnight the night before sealing the rest of Brian’s belongings in boxes, but it was finished. Never once had Brian seen Danny with so much patience. Every time that Brian began to feel even slightly overwhelmed – staring around them at everything left to pack, feeling the breath catch in his chest – Danny had brightly asked for him to go grab him a drink, or buy him a snack at the gas station, or carry a handful of boxes closer to the door. Gentle distractions. Things that gave Brian a task that was far easier rather than calling him out on how uncomfortable he was and making him feel like an idiot.

Brian hated being wrong, but he had to admit that Danny understood him far better than he thought possible – and that he was the only man who really seemed to know how to help.

He watched him as he bounded toward the front door like a puppy and jogged outside to greet the same movers they’d spoken to barely twenty minutes beforehand, and he smirked. “I love you, you idiot,” he whispered, just for the pleasure of saying it – of the fact that it still didn’t feel real, that he was here, doing this, moving in with Danny. Combining their lives…

They had such an adventure ahead of them.

“Just bring it in anywhere!” Danny said as he wandered back inside and gestured with drama better suiting an actor than a gangly guy with a shrub on his head. “Just, y’know, here, there...”

“I think they’ve got the idea.” Brian held a hand out to him, and Danny stuck his tongue out, as if he wasn’t already walking toward him to grab it. “Let’s get out of their way.”

“I’m never in the way,” Danny said with incredible confidence even as he let Brian coax him toward the kitchen. “You just want a snack.”

“Maybe.”

As Brian began rooting through Danny’s cabinets just because he could now – because the food in there was all his as much as it was his lover’s – Danny snuck behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. “So.” Danny kissed the back of his neck. “You’re ready for the appointment tomorrow? Got all your insurance info and stuff?”

Brian paused. He leaned against the counter with a sigh. When he felt the encroaching desperation to call the whole thing off, he took a deep breath and willed it away – just far enough that he could focus on the warmth of Danny’s body. A fitting distraction. “I have everything – and I’m as ready as I’m going to be.” He cleared his throat. “You, uh, still going with me?”

“Duh!” Danny laughed. “I’m with you to the ends of the earth, babe, you kidding me?”

No one deserved to be this lucky – yet here he was. Here Brian stood in the house of the man he loved, the house that now nearly belonged equally to him. Here he could live in utter domesticity with him, and dream of a future that might involve matching wedding bands on their hands, and even think a little bit about the sounds of tiny feet slapping the kitchen tile as they ran. Was that so terrible to wish for? To imagine? To hope would come to pass?

Nothing was fixed. Barely anything had changed. But, for once, Brian had the vision of a time where it could.

“You mean it?” he murmured.

Danny gently turned Brian to face him and cupped his face, leaning in for a deep kiss. He sucked the concern right out of Brian and replaced it with promises and intent and love, so much of it that he felt it in his curling toes. “You’re mine. I’m yours.” Danny grinned at him, and for the first time Brian caught sight of the deepening wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. A bright, smoldering attraction burst in his chest, spreading through him. “Nothing’s gonna ever make me let you go. I mean it.”

Brian cupped his face in both hands, brimming with hope. “I love you so fucking much.”

“And I love you.” One more kiss before Danny held him close. “I always will.”

[dalia1784]

My thoughts on all the Disney Live Action Remakes so far!

Fair warning: This is strictly my opinion, if you have conflicting opinions on it feel free to post. Just don’t be a jerk about it.

1. Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book (1994)

Though it doesn't stay as faithful to the Kipling classic and in someways the animated classic, it's a pretty solid action film with a pretty impressive cast. The action was amazing, interestingly the animals don't talk (except in it's 1998 prequel The Jungle Book: Mowgli's Story) but the body language spoke for itself. Personally This is one I recommend.

2. 101 Dalmatians (1996)

Glen Close was the perfect Cruella De Vil! Unlike the animated classic, the animals do not communicate but their actions speak louder with some pretty humorous and down right adorable moments with the puppies. The odd change that stuck out was Rodger's job, in the animated film he was a musician struggling to write a hit song but in this one he's a game designer struggling to create a good game. There were some pretty sweet and even funny moments but then again this was written by John Hughes (Home Alone, Uncle Buck, National Lampoons Vacation).

3. 102 Dalmatians (2000)

With the director of A Goofy Movie, Tarzan, and Enchanted at the helm this one was a fun film. The idea of a rehabilitated Cruella was an interesting take but when she lapses back to her old ways it's pretty funny. Of course there's a lot more puppies this time around and the introduction to a spotless dalmatian named Oddball who stole the show alongside Glen Close and a very talkative parrot named Waddlesworth. I adored how they show how self conscious Oddball is about being spotless and the antics she gets into trying to get spots like her siblings. An enjoyable sequel with some adorable humor.

4. Alice in Wonderland (2010)

Director Tim Burton gives his spin on the tale of Alice and her adventures in Wonderland. Though surprisingly it takes place after the events of the original novel as Alice is now an adult who must return to Wonderland to end The Red Queen's reign. This one is visual candy from beginning to end with some pretty frightening moments, I enjoyed a lot of the acting and Johnny Depp was a treat to watch. The soundtrack admittingly is the best I've heard from Danny Elfman next to Edward Scissorhands.

5. The Sorcerer's Apprentice [Based on the segment from Fantasia (1940)] (2010)

I was pretty mixed on this on one hand Nicholas Cage's performance wasn't too bad I'd personally call it decent. But I felt personally that it was an underwhelming film. It had potential but so very little of it was shown. The iconic scene of the broom coming to life was a bit disappointing.

6. Maleficent (2014)

Angelina Jolie is extremely gorgeous and was the perfect choice for this movie. The action and the visuals were very dreamy, Lana Del Rey's cover of Once Upon a Dream is very haunting, and I adored that they tried to establish a bond between Aurora and Maleficent. The way the faeries were portrayed left me bewildered but it was something I was willing to overlook.

7. Cinderella (2015)

This one had the most gorgeous costume designs to put to film. Lily Tomlin was a doll in the role and her rendition of A Dream is a Wish (Your Heart Makes) is beautiful. The villains are well written and Helena Bonham Carter was an interesting choice as The Fairy Godmother. My major nitpick was with two certain scenes: The first was when Cinderella's original gown is torn, I felt it was way more stronger in the animated classic as not only do they tear it to shreds they curse and verbally (possibly physically) abuse her to the breaking point. The other is when Cinderella is locked in her room, many complained that she did nothing in the animated one but wait to get her out which isn't exactly true. She tries to get out even when the mice go through the effort to get the key to unlock the door. In the live action version she literally does what everyone had initially criticized and yet they claimed she was a feminist role model for doing so? I don't know I may be reading into this But I will give it this they do establish a relationship with Cinderella and the Prince in the beginning.

8. The Jungle Book (2016)

This movie deserved it's Oscar. The cast was spot on, Neel Sethi was perfect in the role of Mowgli. The action scenes were a fantastic especially in IMAX 3D, the emotional scenes were very powerful and I loved how they incorporated the songs and score cues from the animated classic. For the record I died laughing at Christopher Walken as King Louie, I did not expect to hear him sing at all.

9. Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016)

A pretty mixed sequel, I loved a lot of the actors including Sacha Baron Cohen as Time. However the movie left me with way more questions and even more confused as to why certain events in the movie happened. I have nothing else to say but it's not bad, it's not great, it's just.. okay...

10. Pete's Dragon (2016)

This is my highly recommended of the remakes as it lives up to the original and then some. Elliot is one of the most uniquely designed dragons since Toothless and Falkor and this movie allowed him to shine. What I loved about this movie was the core focus on the movie which was the relationship between Elliot and Pete. This was one the most enduring and emotional films I've seen to date.

11. Beauty and the Beast (2017)

One of my all time animated films and this remake was a genuine mix of "I love this but dammit there's a lot I hate too!" For starters I absolutely hate the design of Belle's gown, for me it looked like a prom dress and sadly I've seen the Broadway show, the parks, and even cosplayers do a much better job of the gown's design. Dan Stevens as the Beast had me sold and nearly fooled me for Robbie Benson. I love the scenery design of the castle, the casting of the enchanted objects was actually really good though they did very little for Audra McDonald. Emma Watson's singing is extremely mixed when listening to the performances done by Paige O'hara and Susan Egan. Honestly I wished this was mixture of both the Broadway and the animated. The major positive I have is the soundtrack the songs are great and I was happy Alan Menken returned for the score (thanks for incorporating Home from the Broadway). Out of the new songs mine personally were Josh Groban's rendition of Evermore, Celine Dion's rendition of How Does a Moment Last Forever, and Days in the Sun as a decent replacement for Human Again. Ariana Grande and John Legend's rendition of the song is okay, it felt more like they were just trying to up Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson's rendition. Oh for the record the whole Lefou being gay was pretty solid I mean I caught on just by listening to his dialogue but it felt like it was tacked on to get more ticket sales because of it. A major mix bag it's worth a watch on Netflix.

12. Christopher Robin [Based off The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh(1977)] (2018)

Once again I was reduced to crying, this is personally one of my favorite Winnie the Pooh films to date next to The Tigger Movie and 2011's Winnie the Pooh. This was a genuine roller coaster of feels and breath of fresh air for the Hundred Acre Wood, the effects for our favorites so perfect and so life-like. Hearing Jim Cummings reprise his roles was overwhelming and a welcoming call, Ewan McGregor's performance is enduring and emotional. The movie itself gives off the stunning whimsical vibes like 1991's Hook, showcasing the idea of Christopher Robin as an adult. This is a pure gem to watch.

[allmytwistedshadows]

Sleepless

Pairing: Dan Howell x Male!Reader

Requested: Yes (Anon)

Request: Hey, your writing is amazing 😍 Can you do Dan Howell x reader, where Dan can't sleep, the reader comforts him and they become a couple? Thank you 😘

Summary: (Y/N) is a friend of Dan and Phil’s, spending the night after working on a collab with the pair. When his insomnia is at a high, though, he isn’t sure what to do. Of course, he isn’t the only night owl in the flat that night; and what’s a guy to do when something is troubling the one he cares about?

Word Count: 1,628

Warnings: Swearing, more than probable sardonic humor, rusty writing (Sorry it’s been a while)

AN: I’m not used to writing from Male POV so I’m sorry if it’s sucky.

“I will never be able to look at a spatula the same thanks to you,” (Y/N) said with a laugh, rising from the edge of the bed where he had been sitting next to fellow YouTubers and friends Dan Howell and Phil Lester. Dan thought it would be funny to remake the popular Cards Against Humanity video he did with Tyler Oakley three years ago. “Honestly, I am never making pancakes again because I know I can’t without thinking of--”

“What? No!” Phil cried, cutting the (h/c) haired boy off. “The (Y/N) Specialty Pancakes are the best!”

“Sorry Philly,” he said apologetically. “They’re no more now that I’ve seen the horrors of what Dan thinks a spatula can be used for.”

“That was a card well deserved,” Dan said with an awkward grin as he held up his win cards. 

The three laughed together before making the decision to order a take-away and watch reruns of Spirited Away for the night. While Phil went to go take care of the take-away, (Y/N) decided to help clean up everything. While Dan took care of the camera and the lights, (Y/N) took care of the pile of cards on the floor.

“If I were smarter I’d be making Phil clean this up,” he mumbled as he tried to straighten the cards out. “The sore loser.”

“Yes; but, as the Phandom loves to point out, it’s one of the many qualities that makes him so endearing,” Dan returned lightly, laughing silently to himself. “Not to mention it’s so hilarious to watch when I’m editing.”

“I’ll definitely give you that one,” (Y/N) agreed with a grin. “But can you please leave me falling off the bed out? Pretty please?”

“Nope,” Dan said with a smug grin. “If the world sees my shame--not once but twice--then they get to see your shame as well.”

“I hate you.”

“I hate me too,” Dan said without missing a beat. When he didn’t respond after a moment Dan was quick to add, “Kidding! Look at me: all jokes and grins. Haha great times.”

“Y’know, one day you’re going to meet someone who doesn’t appreciate your sardonic sense of humor,” (Y/N) spoke as he started setting the cards back in their box.

“Yes, but you do get and appreciate it so I’m fine,” Dan counters, pointing at me briefly with a wink.

Stopping what he was doing, (Y/N)’s face went blank as he looked up at the dark haired boy. “Daniel.”

“(Y/N).”

“Please, never do that again.”

“Pft. Okay hater.”

“Oh please. You know you’d have said the same thing.”

“Yes, but I said it internally.” The both of them laughed as (Y/N) sat on the edge of Dan’s bed. “Okay, moving on from my self detrimental mind, please tell me you weren’t serious about not making your specialty pancakes anymore.”

“I don’t even know why you guys love them so much,” he said as he brushed aside some hair that had been hanging in front of his (E/C) eyes. “They’re just my mom’s pancake recipe with carefully timed food coloring.”

“Blasphemy,” Dan spoke, placing a hand on his chest.

With a roll of his eyes, (Y/N) rose to grab the top of the box from Dan’s desk. “Well you can relax, Danny,” he assured him, purposefully using the nickname that Dan not-so-subtly dislikes for being “too American” for his taste. “I assure you that I will make the pancakes again.”

“Good because we took the liberty of buying everything you need to make them tomorrow morning.”

(Y/N) groaned as he rolled onto his side in the guest room. He stared at the window, mentally cursing himself for forgetting his melatonin when he agreed to stay the night. Having gone through this many times, (Y/N) knew better than to try and make himself sleep. So he sat up and pulled the duvet away as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. Jamming his feet into slippers, (Y/N) rose from the bed and began to walk silently to the kitchen. Two in the morning or not, he’d be damned if he didn’t get whatever juice he could find.

When he got to the kitchen he opened the fridge and looked around for orange juice, apple juice, prune juice--any juice. There was soda, ribena, milk but absolutely no juice. 

"You mean to tell me I came on the one night these two don’t have any juice?” he grumbled.

“Have you met Phil?”

(Y/N) jumped slightly, turning quickly to see Dan sitting at the small kitchen counter with the orange juice next to him. Half of Dan’s face was illuminated by moonlight, giving him an almost mysterious sense of whimsy. The sight made (Y/N)’s chest tighten as his heart beat in his throat. Of course, (Y/N) wasn’t sure if that was from the jump scare or from something that he had spent a long time denying for the sake of their friendship. “Bloody hell,” (Y/N) muttered upon settling down. “Why am I not surprised you’re lurking in the dark.”

“I suppose the feeling’s mutual you nocturnal freak,” Dan stated as he slid the juice container towards the other boy.

(Y/N) grabbed a glass from the cabinet and then moved next to Dan, taking the container and pouring himself a glass. “So why are you up?” the (h/c) boy asked before taking a sip of the juice.

Dan shrugged, swishing his juice around. “Couldn’t sleep, I guess.”

The other boy examined Dan with inquisitive (e/c) eyes, seeing the way his fingers fidgeted and how he couldn’t quite bring his dark eyes to meet him. “You’re lying,” (Y/N) concluded. 

Dan bit his lip ever so slightly, the simple motion making something unexpected flutter in (Y/N)’s chest. “Maybe,” Dan admitted quietly.

“What’s really up?” (Y/N) questioned as he set the cup down on the counter and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I just,” Dan started, his eyes searching around as if trying to figure out how to say it. “I haven’t been sleeping well lately.” (Y/N) frowned and looked at the curly haired boy in front of him. Dan took (Y/N)’s silence as he had intended it--as a prompt to go on. “I’ve been having nightmares.”

“About what?” (Y/N) asked softly, not wanting to push him too far.

“A lot of things,” Dan stated vaguely before he received a raised eyebrow from the (h/c) boy and sighed. “Death, okay. I’ve been dreaming about death.”

“Oh,” (Y/N) started, sounding surprised. “Could it have something to do with Spooky Week? You and Phil have been playing so many scary games that maybe it’s just you thinking you guys it’s in the games.”

“It’s not,” Dan insisted, finally meeting his eyes. (Y/N)’s heart ached upon seeing the unshed tears making the beautifully dark eyes glisten. “Because it started before Spooky Week and it’s not me and it’s not Phil.” Dan looked down again before he spoke quietly, as if trying to keep him from hearing. “It’s you, (Y/N/N). You’re the one dying.” (Y/N) was taken aback just from the pure shock of it--the idea that Dan was even dreaming about him. “Every night you’re in trouble and I can’t save you--and I can’t stand it. I-I can’t take it because-because I can’t imagine my life without you in it and the thought of you not being there anymore is--it’s just too much.”

“Dan,” the other boy started softly, moving to stand in front of him, “I promise you that nothing is going to happen to me. You’re stuck with me to annoy you for the rest of your life.” (Y/N) took Dan’s hands in his own, drawing their eyes together.

“I just--I can’t bare seeing you die every night because-because--.” Before (Y/N) could ask why Dan’s grip on his hands had tightened and, suddenly, his lips were pressed against Dan’s. Before (Y/N) could even really react Dan had pulled away suddenly and began stammering. “I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that, (Y/N/N), I’m--”

(Y/N) cut Dan off in one swift motion, pressing their lips together once again. In that moment he let go of any concern he had harbored in the past about ruining their friendship because, in that moment, he was kissing the boy he had been fantasizing about in secret for the past year or so. So, (Y/N) pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around Dan’s neck. Once the shock had worn off on Dan’s end his hands moved to the (h/c) boy’s waist. 

(Y/N) sighed as he felt Dan’s hands hold him tightly by the waist. The two stood there in the dimly lit kitchen, moving their lips against each other’s slowly. (Y/N)’s fingers curled into Dan’s dark curls, tugging gently. Dan made a small noise of pleasure against (Y/N)’s mouth. The sound made (Y/N) grin slightly against his lips before he pulled away just enough to look into Dan’s eyes--blown wide from what had just transpired between them. 

“I promise you,” (Y/N) spoke softly, “that I am not going anywhere and, as long as I’m with you, I’ll always be more than fine.”

Tears welled up in Dan’s eyes before he pulled (Y/N) into a tight embrace. The two boys stayed like that for a while, finding comfort in each others’ embrace. At some point in the night, neither could tell you exactly when, they had grabbed their juice and went into the living room to lay on the couch together and watch Spirited Away until they inevitably fallen asleep, tangled in each other’s arms. And, when Phil found them like that the next morning when he woke up, he simply smiled and moved to cover his two friends in a blanket so to not disturb what had to be their best sleep in a while.

AN

Okay so it’s reeeaaally bad especially at the end but I really wanted to finish this. I kinda rushed it at the end and it shows but, whomever the anon is who requested it, I hope you like it.