#I am not a child I do need you to chew my food for me

[statementlou]

"A SOURCE" this fucking fandom I swear- the source is the tabloids (and before that Liam's PR team) but the real omitted info here (other than WHERE, WHAT SOURCE, WHY) is that the articles are primarily focused on Liam and his influencer girlfriend Kate Cassidy announcing a split, for anyone actually wanting to keep up with all the Liam news; yes they will have done that to get the music news into the papers but it is also information that exists and I would like to be informed about. The articles say that she moved out of his house and back to the US.

[oepionie]

—VOICELINES ABOUT YOU. various

Synopsis: Yuuken interrogates some of the boys on the campus about their special someone. Hearing their loving ramblings on you was certainly not what he expected.

Tags: Self-Indulgent, Fluff, Angst if you squint really hard, Reader is not Yuu, Tweels are a bit...too mad in love, I brainrotted so hard, You're Malleus' fiancee, Malleus doesn't know how to tell a joke someone help him

Cw. Riddle's Mother, Overworking, Hospitalizations, Poor living conditions, Illness, Bullying, Allusions to violence, Marriage, Tad bit of possesive behavior, Description of stabbing

WordCount: 2k+ | 💌Masterlist

R.R | RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS:

About: Riddle's Rose

"Rose? I see you've met that troublesome intern at the library. That's a nickname. Their name is (Y/N) and yes, they are my partner." "A-Ah? I'm so direct? Well, you asked me a question! Though...I would prefer that this discussion end here. I prefer to keep my relationship with them private.”

Chat: Childhood Memories

“Ever since we were young, (Y/N) was quite rebellious. The complete opposite of me as a child, really. They were always sneaking off during the night and coming over to visit me. Mother...didn't approve of them and often screamed in their face. I was quite terrified she would scare them away, though that didn't stop them at all. Haha, I think they got even more persistent afterwards. I am truly glad I met them.”

Personal Story: To the Hospital

“Again...? I see. Thank you, Trey. Hmph, I'll have to schedule another visit once more."

> "Riddle? What's wrong?"

"Ah, Yuuken—It's Rose. They've gotten admitted to the hospital...again. (Y/N) is quite impulsive and tends to bite off more than they can chew. On more than occasion, like now, I would find out about their hospital admissions via Trey days or even weeks after."

>"Aren't you dating? Why aren't they telling you?"

"They claim that they withhold the information from me out of concern for my workload or out of fear of being a burden. Though that is—a sentiment I don't understand. Nothing is more important to me than their health."

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R.B | RUGGIE BUCCHI

About: The Photo In His Wallet

"Where is it?! Man, I'm so fucked if I lost it—Oh?! Oi, Yuuken! That wallet's mine! Man, thanks a lot. I really would've been screwed over if it weren't for you." "Eh? The photo? Shishishishi curious, aren't cha? Hmmm...how 'bout this? You get me a steaming hot meat bun and I'll give you a story time about them."

Chat: A Hopeful Future

"My studies? Course I take them seriously! That's what's gonna' put food on the table one day. Plus, I wanna' give (Y/N) the life they deserve—What'd I mean? Well, if I'm going to be their husband, I want 'em to live comfortably. It's not like we need anythin' luxurious, anyways. As long as we're together and there's enough food to go by, it's going to be all right."

Personal Story: In Sickness and In Health

"....that's good to hear. Please look after 'em, granny. Love ya." The call ends and Ruggie sighs. "That's the best news I've received since."

>"News?"

"Guh-?! Man! What's with you and sneaking up on me!? Yeah yeah—you heard right...news. Granny just called me to talk about (Y/N), their health is looking up. Tell ya' what, I knew that deal with Azul was worth it. I managed to snag some medicine and send it home."

>"Oh? Medicine?"

"Yeah. Ever since my first year of high school, they were sick and bedridden. (Y/N)'s parents don't have enough money for a doctor, so there's not much they can do. Of course, I'm out here doin' my best to help too."

"I really...I really wanna see them up and runnin' again. Hey, who knows—maybe we'll get to make flower crowns for the village kids again...together."

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A.A | AZUL ASHENGROTTO

About: An Interrogation

"Yuuken, you’ve met (Y/N), I hear. Well, as their partner, it's only right that I ask you about it. I assume you don't mind. So, what is your opinion of them? Nothing short of perfection, I hope."

"Hm? You think they're nice? Good then."

Chat: Busy Octoboss

"With all the deals, my maintenance of my academic ranking, and my position as Monstro Lounge's manager, my workload is quite substantial compared to most. And, I regret to say that it does get in the way of my personal life, including quality time with my lover. It tears at my heart, yet I cherish how they're so understanding and patient. Still, sometimes I can't help but think I am undeserving of them..."

Personal Story: Deep Sea Bonds

"My childhood is not something that I appreciate or want to remember. Yet, despite everything I've been through, I do think it is pleasant to look back on the days when I met them. You see, (Y/N) was bullied too. They were just like me, relentlessly bad mouthed and hurt by the kids around us. However, they never failed to greet me every day with a bright smile on their face."

>"What a sunny person."

"They'd also always have the courage and bravery to stand up for me, often taking the brunt of the bullying. I wish I could say I did the same for them...but I was far too cowardly back then..."

>"Wow. You two must be really close, then."

"Of course. They've been through a lot.Which is exactly why I won't allow anyone to speak ill of them anymore." Azul pauses, smiling slyly. "Say, Yuuken. You'll tell me if anyone casts aspersions on my Angelfish, won't you?"

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J.L | JADE LEECH

About: A Helping Hand

"Hm? What's that? Ah, you’ve met my darling pearl. I see. I do notice how you’ve been frequenting Monstro Lounge lately…Have you perhaps acquired a romantic interest towards them? No? Hehe, Alright." "Now, to answer your question, yes, that is right; (Y/N) routinely comes over to visit and aid me in my Mountain Treks. I couldn't be more grateful for their assistance."

Chat: The Pearl Ring

"Oya? I see you're curious about the ring I've been crafting. Well, it's for (Y/N). You see, in merfolk culture, we create handcrafted jewelry to serve as a courting gift. This is one of many ornaments I plan on giving them. Though, this one is...particularly unique. Ah, well...(Y/N) Leech does have a nice ring to it, does it not?"

Personal Story: A Jaded Reaction

"Oya? (Y/N) is spending the night at Ramshackle? Whatever reason for?"

>"Grim wanted to have a game night."

"Ah. I see. How...lovely. What's that? My smile is frightening you? Oho, now is it? Hehe, my deepest apologies. We eels tend to be quite...protective. I so anticipate you to take good care of them. And fret not, as long as you keep them away from any harm, no disputes shall arise."

>"Uh...and if something happened?"

"What if something happened...? Well, I'm sure you wouldn't mind being hunted down the face of the earth, tied up, and pulled down to the deepest pits of the blue ocean, where no one can hear your anguished cries for help...Would you?" 

>"..."

"Just joking. I would never do that."

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F.L | FLOYD LEECH

About: A Sea Walnut

"(Y/N)? Aha~~~ You've heard of my little sea walnut? They're so adorable and squishy, yanno!—Is there a problem? If you got a problem with 'em, I'll squeeze you." "Oh? Not scared at all, huh? Ehe~ You sure are ballsy. Tread carefully now, shrimpy~!"

About: Ocean Currents

"Whenever a strong ocean current comes, sea walnut always huddles close to me and grabs my arm. They've always been afraid of being blasted away."

"They used to do that a lot when we were kids, but it never gets old. Hehe~ Sometimes, I lead them to places where the waves are strong, jus' so they can cling onto me! It's so funny to see 'em get afraid and scramble after me when I move too far away. "

Personal Story: Shark Attack

"Hmm~? Oh, what're these bite marks? Rad, aren't they? I got them after fighting a buncha' sharks."

>"Sharks?! Why would you do that?"

"To get these. It's shark teeth. Our anniversary is comin' up, and Jade suggested that I should make some jewelry for them. It's a merfolk courting thing. Azul 'n Jade told me to get them pearls, but I thought that was boring. So, I'm making one with shark teeth instead! Isn't that cool~?"

>"I-I guess, but what happened to the sharks?"

"Ugh. None of them were a fun hunt. The entire hoard swam away so fast. Can you believe it???… I’m not the typa eel who would let my prey get away that easily, though. And it’s not like I had anything better to do. Ehehe! There were so many of those sharks swarming around, but I managed to squeeze them all! Well, it was worth it in the end cuz I got what I wanted. I'll do anythin' for my little sea walnut~"

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J.V | JAMIL VIPER

About: A Hearty Meal

“What am i doing? Well, I'm making some Roast Chicken with Sumac Flatbread. Oh? Who's (Y/N)? Ah, Kalim must have told you, huh. (Y/N) is my partner. They are truly wonderful."

"For example—Though I like to think I'm skilled at disguising my true feelings, the moment I go to see them, they already know what I'm thinking. They have a keen sense of intuition and always seem to know what I need and when I need it. Truly, I'm grateful for such a caring—Ah, I'm sorry. I was rambling again."

Chat: Snake-Eyed Envy

"I can't dispute that a lot of people back home are vying for their affection.That bothers me at times. As Kalim's babysitter-ehem, retainer, I don't have enough time to check in on them every day...However, as cheesy as it sounds, I have yet to meet someone who is as smitten with (Y/N) as I am."

Personal Story: World Left Unsaid

"I soon understood that I was more than the circumstances of my birth, all thanks to (Y/N). In fact, My bond with Kalim has become stronger and more genuine thanks to them. I...realized my hatred for Kalim was just my desire for my circumstances to be different...I didn't hate him at all. Without (Y/N), I would never have understood it."

>"They must be very important to you, Jamil."

"Absolutely. I was terrified that I might lose them after my overblot. But to my surprise, they stayed with me. Naturally, it hurt them, but they were really compassionate towards me and about how much I had to go through."

>"Do they know of what you feel?"

"I...I don't think (Y/N) realizes just how much I cherish them. I don't think now's the right time for that though. I've hurt them too much and I still have a long way to go before I fix things."

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M.D | MALLEUS DRACONIA

About: He's Engaged?!

"I am, indeed, betrothed. Heh. Why are you looking so bewildered, Child of Man? If I'm going to be a king someday, it only makes sense that I would need someone to reign alongside me, no? At first glance, (Y/N) may seem aloof, but as you get to know them more, you'll see that they are actually incredibly lovely and warm."

"You never thought I was one for romance? My, my... What a bold statement, you best learn how to hold your tongue. Have you considered that I could use lightning to smite you where you stand?...Now, now—That was a joke. You don't have to cower in fear."

Chat: Safe And Sound

"My precious treasure tells me that I tend to get protective at times. Though can you really fault a lover for wanting to protect the one who is most important to them in this cruel, ruthless world. One where others will not hesitate to turn on you?"

Personal Story: The Art Of War

"I am actually the first of my lineage to wed someone who is not a noble. You see, (Y/N) is a knight-in-training. And, as you can probably guess, they served as my retainer. To see them at work was truly a magnificent sight to witness. They command attention and radiate strength. While I had always admired them, I could not bring myself to express my true feelings to them. Until...that night."

>"That night?"

"Yes. On the evening of Silver's 16th birthday, someone had rushed at me with a dagger in hand. (Y/N) was the first to respond and took the hit for me...The sound of their screams as the knife tore through their flesh was truly...horrifying."

>"That's horrible! What happened to the guy?"

"Worry not, he was taken care of accordingly....If there is anything I’ve learned from Lilia's many teachings, it’s that the worst calamities that befall an army arise from hesitation. To avoid further offensives, one must deal with and eliminate adversaries as soon as possible. Don't you think so?"

Likes and Reblogs are greatly appreciated and are very motivating on my end!

Taglist: @keedas @spadecentral @crypticbibliophile @pastellepastary @cassidycampfire @cocomollo @poisonioushearts @anonima-2 @kawaiipotatoghost @ramvuda @sweeneyblue1 @the-lost-anime-dad @chuuchuudreams @taruruchi

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[call-me-eds]

Lecture

Masterlist

Eddie x Reader

Wayne walks in on something..unbecoming. He has a special relationship with you, but now all of that is out the window.

“You live under my roof, Boy, don’t you forget that! Your mother is probably rolling over in her grave right now, she taught you better than to disrespect a home like this. Jesus, Ed, that is where we prepare food!”

You were in the bathroom looking at your cheeks grow redder by the second in the mirror while your boyfriend got chewed out, deservedly so. Eddie told you that Uncle Wayne wouldn’t be home for hours. “I barely see him nowadays now that he got himself a girlfriend,” were the exact words out of his mouth.

It wasn’t the first time you ventured out of his bedroom for a quick romp, but it was the first time you got interrupted. Sure, Uncle Wayne would flick the outside lights on and off a couple of times when you and Eddie were taking your time saying goodbye, or he would make a comment about keeping hands above the blanket when you three were watching one of his nature documentaries, but that was different, all innocent.

Now, everything has changed. Eye contact was out of the question for at least a decade, if you even worked up the courage to go back to the trailer before then.

Uncle Wayne made you feel like their home was yours, too, and you took advantage of that. Sleepovers were allowed, as long as your parents knew where you were. You had a standing dinner invitation, and he even picked up a bottle of hot sauce for you after you asked if there was any in the cabinets just one time. It had become such a place of comfort that you felt free enough to undress and let Eddie defile you right there on the counter. And the worst part about it was that it wasn’t even the first time.

Your body almost folded in on itself when you heard Eddie fighting back with him.

“I told you I will clean it-”

“Oh, I’ve seen your version of clean, and that’s not going to cut it. Bring Y/N home, and when you come back, I don’t want a peep from you for the rest of the night.” Eddie was 19, almost 20, but he was being spoken to like a child. God, Uncle Wayne raised him from childhood and now he saw him hunched over you, hips moving against yours faster than his uncontrollable mouth.

Silent most of the time, it was the loudest expression you had ever heard come from Uncle Wayne when he walked inside. You had almost been too overtaken by pleasure that you didn’t even hear him. Almost. That shout would haunt you for the rest of your life.

Eddie grabbed on to you even tighter, moving you behind him swiftly. This wasn’t happening. There was no way. It had to be some sort of twisted nightmare you got from eating too late again.

“Come on, man,” Eddie groaned, hands cupping his now exposed self.

“Oh my God,” you whimpered, crouching behind him, hoping that if you shut your eyes tight enough you might just disappear.

““I just want to come home after work and relax and this is what I get greeted with! In my own house!” Uncle Wayne yelled through eyes squeezed shut. “I am going to go outside, count to ten, and everyone better be fully clothed.” The door didn’t even have time to click shut before you were sprinting to the bathroom. Eddie started to try and talk you down, but Uncle Wayne kept true to his word and was back inside, yelling for Eddie to get out of his room.

“Take a shower and get changed, okay? I’ll handle it,” he said, rubbing your arm reassuringly before pulling on boxers and a t-shirt to do damage control in.

Getting in the shower, even if you didn’t use any of their limited hot water, was out of the question. You wouldn’t use a single amenity the Munson’s offered, and in fact were trying to think of ways to escape so you wouldn’t even need to use the front door. While you spun around, hoping a window had been added in the 30 minutes since you were last in the bathroom, a knock made you jump out of your skin.

“Sweetheart? Want me to take you home?” Eddie’s low voice came through the door, offering a way out as if you hadn’t heard Uncle Wayne demand it from him. You opened the door and Eddie smiled to try and console you, but a whimper came from your mouth still. He just nodded in commissary and put his hand on your back, leading you to the scene of the crime. Not seeing the witness was almost worse than facing him.

“Where did he go?” you whispered like he might jump out at any moment.

“Smoking,” Eddie said. Only when you became a more regular fixture did the boys take their habit outside. There was still an ashtray on the coffee table, but if they just had to indulge they did it where the smell wouldn’t sink into your clothes or their furniture.

The deep breath you took did nothing to calm your nerves as you stepped outside. For just a second you thought it would be better to see him not in direct lighting, but it just made his aura more ominous.

“I’m sorry, Mr.-”

“Oh, I haven’t even thought about what I’m going to say to you, yet. Get on home.” You nodded and put your head down, rushing toward the car.

“That was totally unnecessary,” Eddie huffed.

“I was going to tell you to be back in 30 minutes, but make it 15,” Uncle Wayne bit. Eddie must have felt your pleading energy coming from you, because he didn’t answer back for once and just climbed in the van, where you were curled up as small as you could get in the passenger’s seat.

Normally, you would wave until you were out of sight, and Wayne would wave right back. Having each other’s presence around was comforting, and you both knew how much it meant to Eddie. It was unexpected, but you developed a special relationship.

“I can never step foot in there again,” you said, shoving your face in your hands, skin still hot. Eddie put his hand on your knee, and it’s usual comfort just made you feel even more shame. “Did you see the way he was looking at me? He hates me,” you swiped under your eyes and Eddie clocked your movement instantly.

“He does not hate you,” Eddie assured. “Me, maybe. But he’ll be over it by the morning, I swear.” You grumbled your disagreement and grabbed his hand, holding it firmly for the rest of the drive.

“Come on, Doll,” he separated from you to climb out of the car once he pulled up to your house, but you pushed him back into his seat gently.

“No, you have to get home,” you sighed, looking at your watch.

“He wasn’t serious about that,” Eddie rolled his eyes. “I can spare a minute to walk you to your door.”

“Please, it’s fine. I don’t want you to get into any more trouble,” you begged. He went to fight, but saw how your glassy eyes were filling with tears and your lip wobbled.

“Okay,” he sighed. “I love you, please don’t worry about this. It’s kind of funny,” he smiled.

“It’s not,” you sniffled, although you appreciated his sentiment. “I love you, too,” you kissed him quickly and scampered up to your house, itching to shower off the humiliation.

“It has been two weeks, I promise you he isn’t going to be weird.”

“I am going to be weird! I can’t face him!” Eddie drove right to the trailer after your dinner date, and you were threatening to yell out kidnapping claims.

Eddie had been to your house almost every day in the last two weeks, and you had your intimate moments in your locked bedroom or his car under the sheath of night. Going to the trailer wasn’t an option, and you made that clear; you didn’t even call for fear of Uncle Wayne picking up the phone.

“The longer you avoid him the worse it’ll get. I have to live with the guy, and you’re much braver than I am,” he said, basically pulling you out of the car.

“He used to change your diapers, it’s different,” you locked your legs but he grabbed your biceps, lifting you up and carrying you to the front door. “Eddie, please, please, I am begging you. I’ll watch any movies you want for a month, two months!” you bargained desperately, but he wouldn’t hear it.

At first, he thought it was weird how much you liked to be around his uncle, and vice versa. Initially he was convinced that you were both just being nice to each other to appease him. But then he realized just how similar you were; it was gross. The situation was more messed up than one of those guys that dated someone like their mom, he was dating his uncle.

Having you separated was even worse. Uncle Wayne had been forcing Eddie to listen to his rants about work and you had been so upset and anxious it was making him feel horrible.

“You’re going to be fine,” he said, opening the door with one hand and keeping a supportive grip on you with the other.

“No, no, no,” you grunted, trying to grab onto the doorframe to stay outside. Eddie nudged your foot with his, not unlike he had the two fateful weeks ago.

You were in the small kitchen, heating some water for tea. Warm hands slithered around your bare waist and dipped under the band of your shorts.

“Hi,” Eddie breathed in your ear. There was a smile on your face in half of a heartbeat. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” you giggled. He rubbed his nose against your neck and snaked his ankle around yours, tugging slightly so you were in a wider stance.

“Turning me on,” he mumbled, lips sinking into your skin.

20 minutes later, you were crouched behind Eddie, wishing you could sink into the floor.

“So you didn’t forget where we lived, huh?” The gruff voice you would have made a deal with the devil to avoid greeted you as Eddie forced you inside.

“Hi Mr. Munson,” you mumbled, fingers twisting your bracelet so rapidly Eddie thought it might break.

“‘Mr. Munson,’” he scoffed. “I don’t remember telling you you couldn’t call me Uncle Wayne anymore.” He had always been soft spoken, but you never recalled a time where you struggled to hear what came out of his mouth. Finally, you looked up and found that his cheeks were aflame as well, and the label on his beer bottle was picked clean off.

“We’re going to hang out in my room,” Eddie said, making you jump. You almost forgot he was there, you were so focused on his uncle.

“Hell no, you’re not,” Wayne laughed boisterously, animation coming back to his body. “You’re going to go to the store and get the batteries for the smoke detector that I gave you money for a week ago.” It was no question that if you had been at the trailer in that time the errand would have already been done, the beeping of the low battery already bothering you.

“Why didn’t you remind me before I went to get Y/N,” Eddie whined.

“Because she’s going to keep me company here.” Your heart fell into your stomach, and you thought you might pass out. This was your worst nightmare.

“I can just go and get them,” you quickly offered. “What kind? I’ll just get a bunch of different ones. Give me your keys,” you demanded of Eddie.

“No, no, my nephew can go. This is as painful for you as it is for me, Honey, let’s just get it over with,” he grunted, sitting up a bit in his chair.

“I’ll be back in ten minutes,” Eddie promised. If today was the day he decided to start following traffic laws, you were going to break up with him.

Once the door shut, there was nowhere to divert your attention to. You took as many small steps as possible to the couch, hoping to delay the inevitable awkward conversation. Maybe if you apologized and promised to never come back, Wayne would take it easy on you.

Before you could give that plan a try, though, he started to talk.

“You know how much I love ya,” he said, kicking things off in a much different direction than you thought it would go. “You’re good to Ed, you help out around here no matter how much we tell you to stop, and you’re respectful.” That last word stung.

While you knew your home life was privileged and your childhood was infinitely more peaceful than Eddie’s, that didn’t mean you and your parents were immune to arguments. You were a young adult, after all. The Munson’s trailer provided a safe space for you to escape. The small home was packed with love and comfort, it quickly became your favorite place to spend time.

“But you are a young lady, and I don’t want to see you get in any trouble. Eddie’s mother was too young when she had him, and I won’t have him be stuck in the same cycle.” You wouldn’t believe it if you weren’t seeing it, but he was getting choked up. “He’s a good boy, and he would give everything up if you got into a situation, but I do not want that to happen. And it would be even worse for you, the way people talk. You both deserve to have the freedom to do whatever you want in this life, and I don’t like that you’re doing all of that but I know I won’t stop you, so just, be safe. And for God’s sake, keep it out of the kitchen,” he finished his speech, sitting back in his recliner and taking a long drink from his beer.

Uncle Wayne wasn’t going to ban you from the residence, or shame you, or even judge you. He was looking out for you both.

“I am still, so so sorry. I never meant to take advantage of your kindness.” He had to have heard the sincerity in your voice, it was almost shaking.

“How I treat you isn’t conditional. That boy is my son, and you are like a daughter. I wish you would both get that through your heads,” he sighed.

“Oh,” you breathed out. Never had you seen him be so straightforward with his emotions. That was where he and Eddie differed. You knew instantly if Eddie stubbed his toe or felt dissed by someone in the band, but Wayne played his cards extremely close to his chest. He had laid it all on the table now, though, nothing left to say.

You had to clear your throat so your next words wouldn’t get stuck as you tried to force them out. “And we are always safe, for the record.” He waved his hand and focused his eyes on the TV flickering.

“Well I know you have a good head on your shoulders. I wonder about that boy, though,” he grinned, making the tension from your shoulders release all at once..

“Oh, he means well,” you smiled. A few minutes of silence, not as terrible as you thought it would be, went by before you spoke up again.

“Uncle Wayne?” He turned to you and quirked up the side of his mouth, encouraging you to go on. Eddie made the same face, and you were happy to imagine him at Wayne’s age. “You didn’t, uh, see anything did you?”

“Oh, Jesus,” he shuddered slightly and the color returned to his cheeks. “I would have let a tool slip at work and rip my eyes out. At least then I would have gotten some workman’s comp,” he joked.

“I guess I would have had to come take care of you then, huh? Eddie can barely remember to pick up batteries.” Speaking of the devil, he walked back inside with a pack of batteries and a soda.

“If that ain’t the truth,” Uncle Wayne smiled.

“What?” Eddie asked, handing you the cup and flopping on the couch next to you. He raised his eyebrows, asking if everything had gone alright. You weren’t outside crying like he half expected you to be, so he guessed it went well. Once you leaned forward and kissed him briefly and gently, his worries melted away.

“Nothing. You have to change that battery, though, it’s driving me nuts,” you said, pushing him off of you.

“I don’t know how to do that shit,” he shrugged right as another piercing beep came from the machine.

“Come on, I’ll teach you,” Uncle Wayne said to you, grunting as he stood up. You nodded, grabbing the step-stool and climbing up, getting ready to listen to Wayne’s instructions. He reached down to pull Eddie up by the shirt. “It won’t kill you to learn this, too.”

“That’s what I have you two for,” he grinned, allowing himself to be dragged along.

“I have to put up with him, legally. Why do you do it, girl?” he asked you. Before you could give a sweet, cheesy answer, Eddie got the brilliant idea to offer his opinion.

“Well, I think you saw why.” Your gasp was right in time with Wayne’s palm meeting the back of Eddie’s head.

“You’re sick,” you scowled, ripping the batteries from his hand.

“Shameless,” Uncle Wayne shook his head.

“Kick him out, I’ll take over his room and even keep it clean,” you teased, sliding the battery into place and snapping the cover back on.

“When can you move in?” he asked, offering his hand to help you down.

“I think I liked it better when you two weren’t speaking,” Eddie said, almost regretting bringing you back together. He’d never admit it, but your relationship meant a lot to him, too. His two favorite people.

[astroboots]

CICI!!! I am obsessed with Miguel's chompers! his teeth!! I just want him to bite me!!!

Oh nonny I knoooooow. They are so pretty! They do something to me. So funnily enough I have this tiny little drabble in my WIPs for the longest time that I didn't quite know what to do with so I thought I'd throw this out here.

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x reader

Word Count: 750

Astroboot’s Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist

"Can I touch them?" you ask.

He raises one thick and perfectly arched eyebrow at you, with not a little judgment in his expression, as if he is looking at a fucking crazy person.

Which, he's probably not entirely wrong about, but it's rude nevertheless.

"You want to touch them?" He repeats, slowly with a deep sardonic drawl. The way you would speak to a not so bright child.

Heat prickles your cheeks. Miguel has this uncanny ability to get under your skin. He should add it to his list of superpowers.

"If it's a no, just say it's a no! There's no need to be an ass about it."

His lips pulls into a smirk, and for a fraction of a moment, you see a glimpse of the sharp edge of his corner tooth before he tucks them behind his lips, out of sight again.

Miguel gestures you forward, spreading his legs from where he's sitting on your couch. The motion has your brain stalling. You can't help but stare, he's wearing oversized sweats and you can still somehow see the definition of his legs shift against the fabric as he moves.

Shit, he definitely caught you in the act. His smile pulls even wider as he pats his hand down on the meat of his thigh. "C'mere nena."

What does he think you are? A dog?

For all your indignance at the gesture, you still go to him, and when you're within reach, his hand comes up to pull and tug you into his lap until you're comfortably perched there.

"You wanna touch, huh?" he teases, amusement dripping from the words as he smiles up at you and bounces you up on his knee.

God, of course he's going to make a big fucking deal of this. You don't know what possessed you to ask in the first place. You can really only answer with the truth:

"I'm just a little bit curious."

It's the understatement of the century. You are more than a little bit curious. You're absolutely fucking fascinated by them. Feel a trill of excitement everytime you catch a small glimpse of them when he's caught by surprise and smiles uninhibitedly at you.

Will stall out any moment during any dinner when he chews on his food and they peek out from his mouth.

Throughout the years, Miguel's gotten very good at hiding them. Conspicuously tucking them behind his lip that most people will never be the wiser. It's why he often mumbles why he speaks because doing both at the same time can be difficult. It's a part of himself that he never show, to the point that even though you've been together for a while now, it's only fairly recently that you've gotten to see them properly.

In front of you, Miguel leans back against the couch.

"Go ahead." He tilts his head up, baring his throat to you as he parts his mouth, and then you see them.

Those two prominent canine teeth of his. Fang-like pointy teeth on either side of the incisors.

Your ears burn. He never shows them to you this brazenly.

Raising your hand closer to his face, you can't help the way they are actually shaking with excitement. Your thumb grazes at the point of his left tooth, and you can feel the sharpness tingle against your pad.

God, you could cut yourself on these.

"You done? Ish a bit uncomfortable."

You hum distractedly, not fully taking in his words, entirely fascinated as you press your thumb with a bit more pressure again the edge.

"Careful, nena," he warns.

Stilling at his words, you pull your thumb from his mouth as you inspect it. It hasn't broken any skin yet.

"Why? Does poison always come out when you bite?"

There's that look on his face, like you just asked him the dumbest question on earth, then he laughs. "No. It'd be difficult to eat if that was the case. Most of the times it's dry bites. I used to bite myself on the lip all the time when I first got them."

"So what would happen if you bit me?"

He blinks up at your question. Smile fading as he considers your question as his eyes roams over your form slowly appraising you from head to toe. Something switches in him, no longer playful a tangible change that you see in the shade of his darkening eyes that shines crimson.

His arm snake around your waist, tightening his hold on you. "Do you want me to bite you, nena? Is that what you're asking?"

You swallow thickly at his words. Staring up at his saphire eyes that seems to glint with glee as he asks you the question.

Your back prickles with excitement just at the thought of it and for that moment you forget all about your hesitation or any shred of pride as you nod back at him.

"Yes," you answer. "Please."

A/N: This is nena from Every You Ever Me universe, do with that piece of information as you will.

[meowmeowmeowmeow4x]

Dark Blue Moon and the Suffering Sun Chapter 4

Damian's face twisted in disgust at the offending object.

Phantom's quirked in confusion. He nudged the massive striped bass towards the smaller siren. "What's wrong?"

"I am a vegetarian." Damian huffed. "And it's raw."

"Oh. Uh, whoops." Phantom shrugged. "I don't know how to break it to you, dude, but, like... There's not much better to eat out there."

Damian glared at him. "I would rather starve."

Perhaps he was being too stubborn. With a buffoon of a companion such as this, the situation was better treated as a survival scenario than a mere mission. Damian was no fool. Vegetarianism was a luxury afforded to those with the food abundance to choose.

That, and it had been a solid sixteen hours since his last meal. His tail felt sore and aching in a way he hadn't felt in years. His stomach growled and groaned, demanding something to fill it.

The last time he felt a hunger like this was when he was still in the League, when they sent him out on weeks long missions where he starved under moonlight and ate birds and rats to survive.

"Come on, Damian, you need to eat something." Phantom cajoled, as if his puppy-eyed look could ever match that of Richard's. "And the seaweed's not gonna sustain you. Believe me I tried."

"Are sirens obligate carnivores?"

"No, but-"

"Then tell me why I cannot sustain myself off of kelp and seaweed?"

"Dude, those things have literally no calories in them."

A valid point, but just because he was right did not mean Damian had to cede the point so easily. "Is the siren species so primitive as to not have cultivated plants in order to sustain their population?"

"I literally don't know how to answer that dude. Do I look like an ambassador or something to you?"

Damian frowned.

"Look, it's getting late and we'll need all the rest we can get. I promise it doesn't taste that bad. We'll try and work something out tomorrow, how's that?"

Damian sighed. "Very well, but only because I very my life, thank you very much."

"Thank god for that..."

Damian unwrapped himself from his tail, and approached the poor fish. "I am terribly sorry, fish. I will not let your sacrifice be in vain." He muttered.

He looked up to find Phantom with a small knife, cutting up the fish into messy fillets, like this was the first time he'd done so. Peculiar. Surely he had lived off fish his entire life, and had deboned many before this moment.

"Just so you don't get poked in the mouth by a bone or two. Those things suck."

Phantom offered a strip of meat. Shutting his eyes, Damian took the food, and shoved it into his mouth, chewing minimally before swallowing.

The taste was... acceptable.

More than acceptable. perhaps.

It would be a shame to let the fish's death go to waste.

...

Damian sank his teeth into the side of the fish, eyes almost rolling into the back of his head from the taste.

Some time later...

Danny floats back into the cave, a handful of kelp bundled up in his arms. "Hey Damian, look I know this situation sucks for you, like in every way, so I went out and got some greens for you, just so it's not all meat and- Wait, Damian?"

The boy in question slept fastly, his fins gently drifting back in forth in the small currents caused by Danny's entrance. His head was slumped against the bass he'd brought in earlier, little strips of fish still stuck in his teeth.

Now that he wasn't making faces and being angry at Danny, he was honestly pretty cute.

Danny wiped some of the bits of meat off Damian's cheek, careful not to scratch his soft scales with a misplaced claw. Despite being so small, Damian managed to chew through a sizable portion of the fish that was easily half his size or more.

Setting the child's body to the side, and draping a small blanket over him, Danny set to finishing off the rest.

He hoped everyone back home wouldn't worry too much. If the GiW boats didn't clear out by tomorrow, then they were in for a big problem. He and Tucker were working on making waterproof earpieces, but they weren't ready yet, and his waterproof phone had been left in his room when he'd rushed out to get Damian back. That meant no communication with Amity Island whatsoever. No way to get in contact with Bruce Wayne, and no way for his friends to know he and Damian were ok.

He was really in over his head, wasn't he?

The morning came with a very loud wake up call.

"YO BABYPOP!"

Danny jolted awake and bumped his head into the nearest desk overhead. "Who's attacking us?!"

Beside him, Damian jerked himself into a defensive stance (or as close to one as he could manage.)

The curtains of the cave were pushed open, allowing streams of sunlight to stream in and blind the boy with its glare. Peeking into the cave was the head of one Ember McClain, a vicious grin plastering her face.

"You never told me you got a kid!"

Damian chirped indignantly.

Danny sputtered. "Whawhwh Wh Wait a second!"

Ember pulled out of the cave, and squealed. "Yo Kitty! Dipstick's got himself a kid!"

A woosh of water rushed past, and Kitty's neon green and teal scales showed themselves. "Omg! Phantom aren't you like fifteen? What the heck?!"

Danny blushed deeply teal. "He's not mine I swear!"

Ember pushed Kitty out of the way. "Oh my gosh he's so tiny. Who's the lucky woman?? Or man??? Phantom what have you been getting up to without us?!"

Damian hissed at him from behind Danny's shoulder (when did he get there?) "Begone, harpies! And cease your accusations! I would sooner perish than be related in any way to this incompetent fool."

Ember trilled in adoration. "He's so freaking adorable. Where did you get him, Babypop? An orphanage??"

Danny would've done a spittake, if he was above water. "W-what?! Dude, literally where would even find an orphanage around here?"

"Did his parents dump you on him like Johnny was?"

"Uh I'm not even gonna question that."

Ember clasped her hands to her mouth in scandalous shock. "No way, did you finally turn to the dark side and kidnap him?"

Damian piped up again, gripping on Danny's shoulders with his unsheathed claws and rising higher. "Nonsense, I claim no familial relationship with this person, not by blood, law, or emotion. He is as close to me as any stranger would."

"Ouch Damian. I literally saved your life."

Ember and Kitty chortled and shorted. They clutched their bellies and lead against the walls of the cave. "It's just... PFPFTT Phantom you total scoundrel, ahah!"

"Yeah yeah, look I gotta get this kid back to his dad on Amity, and quick. He's probably losing his mind over there."

Kitty gasped. "So you did turn him."

Danny shushed them. "Don't scream it out for the whole ocean to hear!"

He rushed out the entrance of the cave and shooed them in, covering the doorway up as they entered.

"Look I'd really, really rather you guys keep this on the down low. This is kind of a huge deal right now." Danny said.

He turned to Damian, still perched on his shoulder, his little tail brushing against Danny's ghostly white sail. "Is it ok if I tell them?"

"if it will convince them to vacate the premises."

"If you have to know, Damian's the son of some ultra rich guy. Skulker got him for whatever reason, and I was forced to turn him."

"Dude, Skulker went for a literal child?!" Ember clenched her first, likely hiding her extending claws. Right, Skulker was a bit of a touchy subject for her. "Of his own kind, no less?!"

"That's fucking low, girl."

"And now the GiW are going crazy too. Probalby got a huge donation or whatever. We're just waiting untli they go away so I can get Damian back to his dad, without any dissections. That also means none of you guys should be going near the place either."

"Pfft, too late for that."

Danny froze. "Who did they get?"

"Relaaxx, Dipstick. I was just preparing another concert, only for like fifty boats to show up out of fuckin' nowhere. Luckily I heard them before they saw me, but come on! I was miles from Amity at that point!"

"Miles?" Damian whispered.

Danny felt the same way too. They were only increasing their patrols now, shit.

"It's bad enough that the rest of the Pod are freaking migrating. We haven't migrated in years!"

"Yeah, actually, Phantom you wanna join us? I know you have this whole, err, thing, with Amity Island, but we hardly see you. And Johnny's been itching for a rematch."

Danny looked over his shoulder, to where Damian was lost in thought. This might have been the first them he'd seen the kid not glaring.

"Thanks for the offer, but I need to get Damian home. It's my fault he's like this, and he's got a whole family out there waiting for him."

"Don't you too?"

Danny swallowed a thick of water. He did have a family, a family that was probably going crazy. But at least part of that family, and his friends, knew he could take care of himself, knew that he was a siren, knew that the water was his element. Damian's family didn't have that luxury.

"We'll figure it out."

The girls shared a look, and shrugged. "The offer still stands, Babypop. Oh, and i'll be sure to fuckin' dice Skulker next time i see him, lying, cheatin' bastard.

For a moment, the boys watched the two siren teens' trailing tails, before they turned a corner and disappeared.

"Gotham."

"What was that?" Danny asked.

"If Amity Island is inaccessible to us, then we have to go to Gotham."

"Isn't Gotham-"

"On the East Coast? Yes, it is. It's our only option."

"That's thousands of miles, and you can't even walk!"

"Would you rather we stay here, waiting for the GiW to approach us and kill us both?"

Danny clenched his jaw. Damian was right, wasn't he.

"The only way to reunite me with Father is to go to Gotham. They will not be expecting us there."

"How can you be so sure?"

Damian dislodged himself from Danny's shoulder and floated in front of him. "Because they are unaware of the sirens' power of transformation, am I correct?"

"Good point, but wait, how did you know that?"

"I did some cursory research before coming here. The prevailing theories put forth by the supposed 'experts' on the matter asserted that sirens eat their human victims, with no mentions of turning. They have no reason to believe I am not dead., and no reason to suspect any siren activity in Gotham."

"And you're ok with that. Thousands of miles of swimming in the endless ocean full of things wanting to eat you?"

"Are you not?"

"Ok ok, calm down." Danny had to chuckle though. Rich as this kid may be, he was definitely not spoilt enough to sit still and wait for his dad to save him.

"And the fastest way to get to Gotham is via the Panama Canal." Damian puffed his chest out in what was probably pride. Danny stared at him, dumbfounded.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Have I ever jested to you before?"

"No seriously. The Panama Canal. You realise that place is monitored up and down, right? Literally the moment we get spotted, the locks are gonna, you know, lock down, and then we'll be stranded and sitting ducks to be chopped up by the GiW."

"That will not be an issue. You possess the power of camouflage, do you not? And again, they will not be expecting us in Panama, so they will have no reason to bring any sonars there."

Danny wanted to bang his head against the wall. This idea sounded so stupid, but not stupid enough that it was unfeasable.

"In addition, you said it yourself. Your negligence resulted in my permanent loss of humanity, so it is your responsibility to do whatever you can do right your wrong."

Shit. Came with being the son of a businessman, didn't it? This kid was guilttripping the hell out of him and Danny could honestly not say he didn't deserve it.

"Fiiiine. We're going to Panama."

"Excellent." Damian grinned. "Let us leave immediately."

Danny could only pray that none of the 50 things that could go wrong, did go wrong, but when was his luck ever that good?

No, instead, Danny strapped in whatever supplies he had laying around in the cave. To Panama we go...

[reallyromealone]

Title: demon daddy

Fandom: Yuuri on ice

Characters: Yuuri, Viktor

Fic type: fluff

Pairings: viktuuri

Warnings: male reader, reader insert, child reader, demon Viktor, very ooc Viktor, fluff, dad Yuuri

Notes:

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Viktor was feared.

A ruthless prince of hell who was now sitting in the livingroom with infant toys and an exhausted single dad "hi! I'm sorry for doing this but I have an important skating match I can't miss and I can't bring my son and I need you to watch him for a few hours! Ok thanks bye!" And the cute Asian man ran out as Viktor looked at the tiny babe who was barely two, chewing his fist as he watched his morning Elmo "so you got a name?" Viktor asked the little one who barely broke from the screen to glance at him then Viktor saw the note on the table.

'hi! Again sorry, this is super messed up I know but I have no one else to watch my son (name)

He's one and a half, he already has been changed and had breakfast so he should be fine till about lunch, he loves games and helping, again I am so sorry'

This is the weirdest summoning he's had in a while.

Shifting into a human form, Viktor sat on the couch as (name) babbled along to the song playing before the credits roll, turning to look at the other curiously and Viktor sighed "your papa is a fool to trust such a defenceless with a demon" he teased as he lifted the babe who seemed perfectly content being in his hold, the demon getting up to check the house out, looking at the photos on the wall "you got a hot dad" Viktor said simply and (name) looked confused before babbling and chewing his fist "that's dirty, where's your pacifier" Viktor said softly as he removed the little fist from the babies mouth "you are a messy baby, are all babies this messy" he found the pacifier in its little case and popped it in the boys mouth.

(Name) Played with Viktors fingers as they walked around the two bedroom apartment, the demon snooping through the humans belongings "little human, you might have a new stepdad if I have anything to say about it" Viktor couldn't take his eyes off the humans dad whom he learned through snooping was named Yuuri, a pretty single dad who was single.

"Yeah, we love the idea of me being your stepdad!" Little (name) squealed as Viktor lifted him up high and (name) grabbed his horns curiously "your papa summoned me, silly humans"Viktor teased as he wandered the house with the boy who eventually fell asleep in his arms.

When Yuuri for home, he wasn't expecting to see a handsome demon scrolling his phone with his son slumped on his chest, face smooshed against the demon as said silver haired demon supported his little bottom and used his tail to rub his back to lull him.

"So...."

"You summoned a demon to watch your spawn, human? You have guts" Viktor chuckled and Yuuri didn't know what to do as Viktor manifested up and close "do you know what happens now, human?"

"What do you want?" Yuuri wanted to cry, he didn't think this through, what he didn't expect was a kiss "you be mine, my pretty little wife"

Yuuri was nervous as Viktor got into his space, the kiss knocking the wind out of him "i- uh.."

"Papa!" The two looked down to the now awake (name) who clung to him "haaa!"

"Of course, little one"

This answer would have to wait as (name) needed food.

[hayakawalove]

Love

A/N: N/A

Summary: Suguru loves you and Satoru more than anything. Easy mornings like this allow him to show it.

TW: N/A

W/C: 1,128

Suguru was a lover down to his core. And he showed it in more ways than one. He loved the way black coffee from his favorite cafe, you know the one right on 45th street, tasted on his tongue on a cold winter morning. He loved to hear kids giggling at the park when he was on his way home from work. He even felt love deep in his heart when his favorite fruit was on sale at the grocery store. He tried to show his care in everything he did. Kindness, the strongest virtue, he believed. His mom even called him “lover boy” when he was a child, but you’d have to pry that knowledge from his hands. 

But above all else, Suguru loved his partners. He would do anything for the two of you, even shift the sun and moon if you asked him to. Satoru, his wry boyfriend with fluffy white hair. It reminded him of clouds that lay in the sky on a sunny day. Peaceful, and beautiful. Except, Satoru was the furthest thing from peaceful. 

And then there was you. You only had to look at Suguru once with your soft eyes for him to know he was done for. He was hooked, wanting to fulfill your every need on bated breath. 

Because Suguru was a man of love it was no surprise at all really that he wanted to have two partners. Why would he pour all his love into one person when he could share it? 

One of the ways Suguru enjoyed showing his appreciation was by cooking. He liked it all. Cooking, baking, even grilling. 

Although every time he grilled, Satoru bumped in and insisted he wanted to do it. If it weren’t for you distracting Satoru enough for Suguru to flip the meat then things would end up burnt every time. But that’s okay, he didn’t mind, really.

It was slow mornings like this when Suguru was able to express his love. You and Satoru sat across from him on mismatched bar stools while he glided across the kitchen grabbing ingredients. 

Morning light flooded in, illuminating your figures and warming your still sleepy skin. His brow quirks up while listening to the two of you bicker. 

“Sugu can you make me- HEY! Toru I was eating that!” 

“What? No you weren’t.” Satoru responds, casually chewing on a slice of an apple he stole from your lips. 

“Yes I was! It was literally halfway in my mouth! Sugu did you see that?” 

Suguru can’t help the small smile that graces his lips. 

“Oh was it? I didn’t notice.” Satoru speaks around the mouthful of food. 

Your bottom lip juts out in a kissable pout, your arms crossing against your chest. You always wore one of the boys shirts from the day before in the mornings, and today, lucky for him, it was Suguru’s. 

Suguru tilts his head and looks down while he whisks batter. Satoru insisted on crepes for the day. An array of fillings littered the counter. Butter, chocolate, cinnamon, and whip cream. Most people wouldn’t be able to stomach all of that at 7 am, but then again Satoru wasn’t most people. 

And neither were you. 

You decide to ignore Satoru’s early morning banter and settle on watching Suguru. You prop your cheek against your palm and watch him work on creating your early meal. 

Suguru feels a rush of excitement flow through his veins at your gaze. You had all been together for years, but he never felt any less giddy around you. 

“Thank you for working so hard for us. We’re lucky.” 

Suguru feels pink begin to dust his cheeks. 

“Work hard? I’m only making you guys crepes.” He tries to push off. 

“Yeah, but still. We probably wouldn’t eat three times a day if it weren’t for you. Satoru for sure would malnourish and wither away.”

“Hm, that would be a shame.”

Your lip twitches up when the two of you make eye contact. 

Love, love, love. 

“It would be. Guess that means you can’t go anywhere.” 

“I suppose so, doesn’t it?” He responds.

He wouldn’t dream of leaving the two of you.

Suguru finished the crepes and was flipping them onto a plate when he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around his waist. At some point Satoru heaved himself up and trudged to Suguru, throwing his arms around him. 

“Oh Suguru! Thank you, thank you!” Satoru exclaims loudly, smooshing kisses against Suguru’s face. 

You giggle and watch the two as you grab one of the plates. Your laughter fills the small kitchen, a melody to the two men’s ears. 

Suguru pried the dramatic man off his body and pushed a plate towards him. 

With a mouthy grin Satoru accepted the food and began piling copious amounts of fillings inside. 

Home, this was home. 

The two of you shovel the food in your mouth happily while Suguru leans forward against the counter, his eyes tracing your figures. 

“This is so good Sugu. Here!” You say with a grin, the last piece of your crepe sitting on your fork that’s outstretched in front of you. 

Suguru never cared for eating his own cooking, he only ever made food for you. But he would eat anything you offered him, he thought. 

Suguru opens his mouth to eat the last piece, his eyes flicking down once they make contact with yours. 

“Thank you baby.” He murmurs around the food. 

“And Satoru will do the dishes for us!” You offer up cheerfully. 

“What? Why don’t you do them?” Satoru is snapped from his post crepe daze. 

You ignore the question and stack the plates, moving them right in front of Satoru. 

With a hum you ignore Satoru and hop off your stool, making your way over to Suguru. Your fingers run through his black tresses, combing through it as if you were untangling his hair, but it never got tangled. You always said it was because he had the perfect hair, you were jealous. Suguru had no idea what you had to be jealous for. He loved your hair. 

“Come back to bed with me?” You murmur, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down. 

Suguru breathes in your scent, tasting the sugary syrup on your lips when you kiss him. 

“We can sleep a bit longer.” You say. 

Dishes clatter in the sink and you try to stifle a laugh. Suguru watches you with stars in his eyes as you glance over at Satoru. 

How did he get gifted with such a life? 

“Of course baby.” He says back.  Suguru didn’t know if you knew, truly knew how much he loves you and Satoru. But he would try showing it until his dying days.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Carpe Noctem 7

Warnings: dark elements, noncon, age gap, gaslighting, manipulatin, other dark elements. Proceed with caution. (short!reader)

Note: Please let me know what you think as it helps me a lot with ideas and I love interacting with you all.

Part of The Club AU

You make yourself leave the bathroom, the smell of maple greeting you as Lloyd sets out the cardboard containers at the end of the bed. There's not much in the room besides the bed and television. He smirks as you elude his gaze.

"So, you a waffle girl–"

You take a container without concern for the contents and catch the plastic-wrapped cutlery as it rolls off the top. You turn your back to him and sit on the side of the bed. He sighs, his soles shifting as he slowly struts around the corner.

You flip open the box, balancing it on your lap as you open the fork and knife. You juggle awkwardly to pour the container of maple syrup over the French toast. He looms over you, a hand in the pocket of his powder blue pants.

"You put some ice on that?" He points to your cheek.

"I'm fine," you insist and cut into the eggy bread, "please, just say whatever little speech you have prepared and go."

He walks in front of you and clears his throat. He tugs on his pants before he sits beside you. You scarf down a mouthful, trying to focus on the food over him.

"You really gonna go back to a jackass who would do that to your pretty face?" He leans back on his arm, his shoulder behind yours. Too close for comfort.

"So you came to gloat?" You scoff.

"I came to repay the favour and let me make it clear, I don't do that shit. Favours, what the fuck ever. But baby, most women would left me stewing in that gin–"

"I should have," you scowl.

"But you didn't," he leans his shoulder into yours, "so the least I can do is offer you a place in your time of need."

"Uh huh, you seem like the generous type," you poke at a piece of crust.

"I brought you breakfast," he intones. You look at him sharply and he snickers, "alright, it doesn't come without some… terms."

"Terms?" You frown.

"Look, I don't do that pining bullshit. Sexual tension makes my balls ache, they fill up like pendulums and I can't walk straight–"

"You're disgusting."

"Sure am," he pulls his arm out from behind you and leans his elbows on his legs, "but I'm not gonna lie to your face then bash it in. I just want a little tit…" he looks you up and down, "for tat."

"Ew."

"Don't think of it too deep. We both got needs, even if you can't see it now but I know for a fact you haven't been fucked the way you should and I can do just that. Plus give you a nice room of your own and a place to get away from that man child you call an ex."

"Ex? We didn't–"

"Ugh, don't make me say all that sappy shit but you… don't… he doesn't… deserve… whatever. You know that old cliche."

"Wow, very moving," you close up the box, your appetite shriveled.

You get up, trying to make space between you and him. You put the box down and brace your hips.

"You got your work and life, I got mine. I'm just looking for some stress relief at the end of the day. It's nothing serious. Fuck, high five, go on our way."

You chew your lip. You don't even want to acknowledge the offer. It's gross and slimy. Just like him.

"And I'll help you get your shit from the dickless fuck before he destroys it. Make sure he doesn't go for round two on your mug."

You huff, blowing out air until your lungs thrum. You shake your head. You can't really be considering this.

You could call the twins and… they live with their parents still. Coworkers… they all have kids and families… your mother lives in a totally different city and you can barely be in the same room for more than an hour before you're ready to bawl.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Right," he pulls out his phone, "I'm looking at listings. Nice bachelor for, hm, 2400 a month. Good deal. Oh if you want a one bedroom that'll be another three hundred…"

"Stop. Stop," you face him, "I get it. Okay. I fucking…" you flinch and touch your cheek as it throbs, "I get it."

"Aw, baby face," he stands and nears you, surprising you as he nears and cradles your chin, "you just wait until I meet this fuckboy."

You look at him, defeated. You can't say it. You can't admit it. You're at a dead end and he's the only way out.

"Nah, you don't gotta say it… yet. But we both know the facts. So, you get your stuff, check out, and we'll do this step by step."

He spins and goes to the bed, scooping up your cell phone. You follow him as he keys into the screen and you try to take it from him. He keeps it out of your grasp and grins triumphantly.

"Alright, so my address is in there," he throws it onto the pillow, "I'll meet you there. Also, key code is on there too. Let yourself in."

"What? Where–"

"I got business, we'll debrief later," he winks at you, "in a manner of speaking."

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Twisted Monsterland: Messy Toddlers

Little kids can always cause a mess, whether it’s with paint, markers, food, or dirt and mud. It’s a fact of life, and while a hassle to clean up, it can be fun!

So what happens when you have a tiny human living amongst the monsters in Twisted Wonderland who tends to get messy? How about we take a look at some of the dorms and see!

//At Savanaclaw//

Mini!Yuu: *playing in a mud puddle, singing random things as they smoosh and stir the mud with their hands*

Grim: “What’cha doin’, Yuu?”

Mini!Yuu: “Makin’ mud pies for everyone!” *pulls out clumps of grass before sprinkling it over the mud pile* “Time to add the sprinkles~!”

Grim: “What a waste of perfectly good grass…”

Ruggie: *walking up to the two* “There you are, Bugaboo. What’cha playing with this time?”

Mini!Yuu: “I made a mud pie!” *scoops up the pile, globs falling onto their clothing as they hold it up to him* “Try some!”

Ruggie: “Oooh, looks pretty tasty.” *pretends to get a piece and chews, grinning as he gives a thumbs up*”"Mmm…perfect blend of flavors, though you might wanna ease up on the seasoning. Shishishishi~!”

Mini!Yuu: “Hooray!”

Ruggie: “Wouldja look at the time? It’s almost time for you to head back to the teachers, and you’re a mess.” *hoists them into his arms* “Come on, it’s bath time.”

//At Diasomnia//

Mini!Yuu: *playing with finger paints on a canvas*

Lilia: “I’ll be right back, little one. Silver? Would you keep an eye on the little one while I’m gone?”

Silver: “Of course, father.”

*ten minutes later*

Lilia: “I’m back.” *pauses before snorting, smiling at the sight of Silver asleep on the couch with paint on his face and tusks* “My, my. Had I known you needed a bigger canvas, I could have gotten a white tarp for the floor.” *glances over at Malleus before bursting out laughing* “Oh! It looks like you two are having fun.”

Malleus: *sitting nearby with mini!Yuu standing on his lap, painting his horns with bright colorful flowers* “The Child of Man wished to do face painting.”

Mini!Yuu: *has paint on their face that looks like scales and sticky fake stones on their forehead like Malleus’* “I’m making Mr. Horns feel pretty!”

Lilia: “So you are, little one. And what are you supposed to be?”

Mini!Yuu: “Silver made me look like a dragon, just like Mr. Horns! Rawr!”

Lilia: “And a mighty little dragon you are~!”

//At Pomefiore//

Mini!Yuu: *scribbling on a wall in the hallway with a pen they found, singing a happy song as they’re drawing swirls*

Epel: *comes across Yuu and yelps* “Yuu, no! What are you doing?!”

Mini!Yuu: *startled* “Drawing?”

Epel: “Oh no…oh no, Vil is going to throw a fit if he sees this!”

Vil: “If I see…what?”

Epel: “Ack!?”

Rook: “Ooh, it looks like mon chou is showing their creative spirit!”

Mini!Yuu: *nervously looks between the wall and Vil’s stern stare* “Am…I in trouble?”

Vil: *hums for a moment before kneeling down, pulling out his own pen* “Your form is good, though perhaps we can add a little something to this one.”

Mini!Yuu: “What?”

Vil: “I’m thinking…leaves would be a good start.” *begins drawing, creating beautiful shapes following the swirl that get bigger and bigger* “What else should we add to it?”

Mini!Yuu: “Mmm…flowers!”

Vil: “Very well. Will you help me draw them?”

Epel: *staring wide eyed between them and Rook as the two continue drawing, leaning in to whisper to Rook* “Am…am I dreaming? Vil would have gone bonkers if any of us ruined the walls!”

Rook: “Ah, but why stifle the creativity of our little mon chu when they are clearly expressing their individuality? Even Roi du Poison sees the beauty in this.” *goes to kneel next to them, pulling out his own pen* “May I join in?”

Epel: “…huh.”

(Later, the art is still on the wall, a mix of child-like drawings mixed with elegant and fun pictures depicting rabbits, apples, and a peacock)

//At Heartslabyul//

Mini!Yuu: *sitting on a stool, watching Trey mixing dough into balls for bread and trying to mimic him with their own ball of dough*

Trey: “Oh, I need to get the butter out of the fridge. Sit tight, okay?” *dusts hands off and goes over to the fridge*

Mini!Yuu: *hums as they look at the one they’re working on* “Mmm…needs more flour!” *reaches for the bag of flour, trying to lift it up*

POMF!!

Mini!Yuu: *coughs as they’re covered in flour, the bag on the ground and the counter coated in flour*

Trey: “Huh?? Pfft…I should have known something like this would happen.” *reaches out to pat away some of the dusty flour* “Guess when we’re finished baking, it’s bath time again.”

//----------//

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head, but these are just some cute things that came to mind~

The Pomefiore part was actually based on this one post I came across, though I could only find the pictures. While I had initially thought of it happening at Heartslabyul or even Scarabia…I just got soft thinking of Vil indulging mini!Yuu and helping to create good art QvQ/)

[xx-lemon-drop-xx]

𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓜𝓮 𝓝𝓸𝓽 ↬𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕱𝖎𝖛𝖊

“Love in light may not last forever, but love in shadows lasts a lifetime."

. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ[quote stolen from @rachellerosziel] ࿐ྂ

→1988 words

┗━•❃°•°❀°•°❃•━┛

"He said I might be part fae."

The sandwich tasted excellent despite the fact it didn't seem Lilia could actually cook food aside from putting together sandwiches. The food tray he'd brought in had all sorts of foods on it. A sandwich cut in halves, a small bowl of fruit, some crackers and cheese, and a cookie. He'd also brought in a glass of Orange Juice.

"Is that so? I suppose I may have to stop calling you child of man, then." Malleus said, interest piqued. "Hmm.." His low hum bubbled through his chest and rose into the air almost like a purr of sorts.

"I bet you'll come up with a new nickname eventually. Besides, we don't know for sure if I am part fae yet. I don't mind being called Child of man either way, though." A smile dusted (Y/n)'s features, and he returned it. "Sometimes, you remind me of a cat."

"Oh? How so?" Malleus asked with interest. She thought for a moment, before shrugging. "I don't know. You just give off that vibe. Prideful but not overbearingly so, usually alone.." She trailed off at the look on his face.

"Being alone isn't something you choose, is it?"

She asked, voice small and somber. Malleus lifted his gaze to meet hers, a fragment of something unknown and mysterious flashing across his face. (Y/n) wanted to figure out what that emotion was. She felt the urge to pull out every thought, every emotion, every ache and worry and pain filling his head and dissect it. She wanted to know everything about him at that moment. What did he like, what made him tick?

"Some things, you don't get to choose." He answered, casting his gaze to the side. "Sometimes, it is just something you have to bear and deal with. You can't choose to just make people like you. You can change yourself, but you'll get tired of the persona you put up quickly. Even worse if you become this persona. To lose yourself amidst the need for self love and the want of acceptance from others- that's where the dangers lie."

(Y/n) popped a cracker with cheese into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. "Have you ever wanted to change yourself, Malleus? Not like change yourself, but to be a different person entirely. Would you ever give up the life you had for something different?"

"No." Malleus' answer was immediate, and powerful. Flowing with confidence. "The people I know and the memories I harbor aren't worth ever giving up. The select few people I have are more than enough for me. And what about you?"

(Y/n) thought for a moment, a pang in her chest of anxiety. "I'm scared I'm going to have to choose one day. Or maybe I'll never even get the chance to choose. What if I can never go back? Aunt Jen.. And my pets. My old life. What if Crowley isn't able to find me a way back? Or what if the mystery about my dad unravels and I do ultimately choose to go back home?"

Malleus watched on with pursed lips. Perhaps he'd never given it a thought before, how potentially terrified (Y/n) was. Waking up one day in a whole new world, finding out her father was originally from this world, and finding out you may never be able to return home. That must have been horrifying.

"I believe you will have your answer at the end of this journey." Malleus said, settling a hand onto her shoulder and giving a small squeeze as an act of reassurance. Or could it possibly have been one of affection as well?

"Take it slow. No one can have the answers to everything in just one day," He stood up, grabbing the empty food tray and cup. "Live in the moment but don't forget to also have fun while living in the moment. I wouldn't want this journey to all be a nightmare for you. Let me show you to the spare room, you look tired, (Y/n)."

"I am tired." She admitted, giving a small smile. The walk was a quiet but comfortable one. Malleus had snapped his fingers at one point, proofing away the tray and cup of half gone orange juice to the sink to be washed later.

The room was simple but nice. A large bed, a dresser over in the corner, and a desk in another corner. Some candles lit up the room with a green glow, she had a feeling they were powered by Malleus' magic but (Y/n) didn't say a thing as she sat down on the cushiony bed.

"I will see you tomorrow?" Malleus said from the doorway. (Y/n) smiled over at him. "I'll see you bright and early, Mal." She concluded. The Dragon Fae nodded and closed the door after wishing her peaceful dreams.

-

It was a Hustle.

Bags and bags were being packed and moved around, according to Lilia they were going to take them all in one trip through the portal to Briar Valley. Realizing it was probably a good thing to pack some of her belongings for the trip, (Y/n) looked back at Malleus.

"I'm going to Ramshackle to pack some belongings. Do you want to tag along?"

With a nod, they were off.

The walk was mostly a quiet one, though once in a while Malleus did point out the architectural facts about certain things. It was mainly about gargoyles, though. It wasn't that hard to figure out how much he'd taken a liking towards gargoyles, though she didn't mind listening either.

"That gargoyle is fairly new, only around sixty years old at most," He pointed out, "Though the gargoyles in and around Night Raven Collage are typically older." "How old?" (Y/n) asked, looking up at him in interest. Malleus smiled down at her, his range showing slightly.

"Well I'm glad you asked. Typically the gargoyles around the school can be close to Five Hundred years old at most. Lilia remembers hearing about them first being put in. Some gargoyles had feared down to the point they were a danger to falling over and breaking off the tops of buildings, that's why some gargoyles look newer, they'd replaced the old ones."

The gate creaked open as Malleus opened it for her, and they both walked through, heels clicking against the cemented steps towards Ramshackle. "Are there some things people mistake for gargoyles a lot?" Malleus nodded at this question. "Many have issues depicting grotesques and gargoyles apart, though in all honesty the differences are there." "Like what?" (Y/n) urged him to keep talking, which Malleus didn't seem to mind all too much. In fact, he seemed open to talk about his hobby.

"Gargoyles are used to protect the building from water damage. They are waterspouts that project from a roof to carry rainwater away from the building. While Grotesques serve no architectural purpose but to be a decorative carving."

"That's very interesting. To be honest at first glance I don't think I would've known the difference. So that's why gargoyles are always typically found on a roof then?" The door gave way with a loud creak of neglect as (Y/n) opened it. She'd made the old abandoned dorm look a bit more liveable, though it was still badly damaged. Cups, bowls, pans and pots were set around to catch the water dripping from the ceiling and a tarp was placed over a large hole in the roof as a temporary fix. Though it was likely to become an issue at one point once filled with water.

"Precisely.. My, this dorm certainly is.." Malleus trailed off, (Y/n) picking it up for him. "Broken down, unlivable?" "In a way, yes. I would've expected Crowley to have at least helped you out some." She shrugged, walking up the stairs to her room and greeting the ghosts on the way past.

"Well, he didn't but I don't think there's much to be done in this dorm to fix it. It's been around too long for simple repairs." She opened her dresser and grabbed her book bag off the ground, emptying it before starting to shove in clothes. Malleus settled down on her bed, and they talked back and forth as she packed a few belongings. Clothes, some perfume and other accessories. When she came out of the bathroom carrying two boxes, he was intrigued.

"What may those be?" "Oh, just some pads and Tampons. I'm supposed to be getting my period sometime towards the middle or end of this week. Crowley was nice enough to pick me up some." She wasn't shy about it, she was a lady after all, it was normal for her.

"I see. I have not seen feminine products in quite a while. They've certainly evolved." She laughed at his words, stuffing them in her book bag and zipping it shut. "Yeah, they certainly have. I can't say they're much different from the ones in my world."

"It's kind of surprising, you don't seem all too bothered by the fact we're talking about my period." Malleus looked up in confusion at her statement, "Is it usual for people to be disgusted by a natural thing? Your body is simply shedding the skin of your uterus. That's normal."

"Uh.. I guess you can say so. Men usually make a big deal of it. They think it's disgusting. Or whenever we're upset they whine that it's our periods."

"Those aren't men then. Those are little boys pretending to be men." Malleus stated. (Y/n) resisted the urge to chuckle, "I guess there's a lot of boys in my world, then." He nodded in agreement, "I suppose so."

-

"It's not what I thought it'd look like."

"What did you think it'd look like?" Malleus joined her at the window of the large castle, peering outside of it with her. The town was pretty dark itself, that was something (Y/n) did expect. "Well.. I kind of expected it to be covered in thorns or something."

He hummed, the commotion of his servants behind him long forgotten about. Malleus' eye was focused on her, his newest companion as of now. How intriguing it was to have someone from a different world treat him with more kindness and love than anyone in the school ever could have accomplished. It wasn't something he'd expected even in the slightest.

"You seem tense." Malleus commented, a hand settling down on her shoulder. He'd half expected her to pull away- in horror or in disgust he didn't know which one, it was welcomed when (Y/n) didn't. "I'm just.. Thinking." She replied.

"Do feed my curiosity."

Oh, it's really nothing. Some things just look.." She trained off, gaze sweeping over Briar Valley from the window, it was fogging over from her breath, and Malleus heard the squeaking sound as she rubbed it off. "Similar?" Malleus finished for her.

"Yeah." (Y/n) answered, "A little bit. Not too much but.. Enough."

"Would you like to take a walk with me later? Perhaps your memory will be jogged if you are able to view the town. The brain always remembers certain types of scenery. Even if you don't think it does."

"Do you think it's possible I'm from here?"

"Perhaps. Only time will tell." He offered her an arm, "Come, it will only be a brief walk. We'll be back before lunch. Lilia," Lilia looked up at the mention of his name, the teacup warm against his pale lips. "Would you mind tagging along?"

"Khehe, why not? A little stroll couldn't hurt anyone." He set his teacup down on a small plate, (Y/n) had seen them before in movies, she didn't know what they were called and frankly, she didn't care.

Lilia stood to his feet, stretching and cracking his back. "Let us be on our way."

[hanluex]

♡ YOUR BIG BABY — JAKE ‘HANGMAN’ SERESIN

bf!hangman x gn!reader | wc : 0.5k words | content : possible grammar and spelling mistakes, lowercase intended, established relationship, comfort (?), fluff, mentions of food, mentions of pet-names

“will you grab the chips, and i’ll grab the dip?”

you suggested, dragging the shopping cart from the front as your boyfriend kept trying to hang onto it from the back.

“mhm, yeah, okay.”

you stopped the cart, your brows furrowing as you looked at your boyfriend. “hangboy, are you even listening to me?!” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

“sorry, sorry.” he sheepishly smiled, fixing his posture as he stood properly. “can i go to the bathroom first, though?”

you nodded. “i’ll be in the dip aisle. meet me there after you are done, yeah?” you checked, getting a nod from the brunet.

as your boyfriend left for the bathrooms, you walked around the store, gathering whatever you needed for the movie night you two were hosting.

“all that’s left is the dip,” you muttered to yourself before remembering another item. “ah, shoot. we don’t have any detergent left either.”

not thinking much of your actions, you pushed your cart towards the household items section, trying to find the brand of detergent you usually use.

and just like that, you went on an entire tour around the supermarket, buying things you didn’t think you’d need, but threw them in the cart just in case.

it wasn’t until ten minutes later that you realized you were missing your annoying interrupter.

jake seresin was nowhere to be seen, and it was clear as you looked at the shopping cart in front of you.

without him to stop your impulsive purchases, your cart was practically filled to the brim.

as you were going on your phone, about to call your boyfriend, the supermarket’s public announcement system caught your attention.

“this is an announcement for miss y/n. please collect your child at counter 5. miss y/n, your child is at counter 5.”

you paused in your tracks, wondering if there was a slight possibility that there was someone with your exact name who lost their child — because, as far as you knew, you didn’t have any kids.

unless … of course, that’d make enough sense.

you made your way towards the aforementioned counter, and just as you suspected, the brunet sat on the stool, swinging his legs as he waited for your arrival.

“jacob!” you whined, seeing the workers giggle amongst themselves as they saw the way his face lit up as soon as he saw you. “my child?! really?!”

“you abandoned me!” jake pouted, grumpily crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at you. “you said you’d be at the dip aisle, but you weren’t.”

“i’m sorry about that. i got sidetracked.”

jake scoffed, gesturing towards the shopping cart. “yeah, clearly.” he sighed, scanning the items inside. “why do you need a chew toy? we don’t even have a dog.” he couldn’t help but laugh, amused by the items you had impulsively bought.

“it looks fun, okay?!”

“a chew toy, really? babe, i–”

“shush, you can’t say anything when you literally made a public announcement instead of searching for me!” you defended yourself, unable to hide your smile when your boyfriend pouted again. “you are just a big baby.”

“okay, yeah, i agree, but i am your big baby.”

TAGLIST: @sweetheart-im-the-boss @maverick-wingman (SEND AN ASK OR DM TO BE ADDED!)

[alohajun]

♡ YOUR BIG BABY — CHOI SAN

bf!san x gn!reader | wc : 0.5k words | content : possible grammar and spelling mistakes, lowercase intended, established relationship, comfort (?), fluff, mentions of food, mentions of petnames | loki's lines : this is the one (of a couple) entries for the exchange event by @kflixnet. this one’s for @hwaightme ToT bai i really hope you like this <3 hope you have a great day! take care and stay safe :)

“will you grab the chips, and i’ll grab the dip?”

you suggested, dragging the shopping cart from the front as your boyfriend kept trying to hang onto it from the back.

“mhm, yeah, okay.”

you stopped the cart, brows furrowing as you looked at your boyfriend. “choi san, are you even listening to me?!” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

“sorry, sorry.” he sheepishly smiled, fixing his posture as he stood properly. “can i go to the bathroom first, though?”

you nodded. “i’ll be in the dip aisle. meet me there after you are done, yeah?” you checked, getting a nod from the brunet.

as your boyfriend left for the bathrooms, you walked around the store, gathering whatever you needed for the movie night you two were hosting.

“all that’s left is the dip,” you muttered to yourself before remembering another item. “ah, shoot. we don’t have any detergent left either.”

not thinking much of your actions, you pushed your cart towards the household items section, trying to find the brand of detergent you usually use.

and just like that, you went on an entire tour around the supermarket, buying things you didn’t think you’d need, but threw them in the cart just in case.

it wasn’t until ten minutes later that you realized you were missing the epitome of golden retriever energy. choi san was nowhere to be seen, and it was clear as you looked at the shopping cart in front of you.

without him to stop your impulsive purchases, your cart was practically filled to the brim.

as you were going on your phone, about to call your boyfriend, the supermarket’s public announcement system caught your attention.

“this is an announcement for miss y/n. please collect your child at counter 5. miss y/n, your child is at counter 5.”

you paused in your tracks, wondering if there was a slight possibility that there was someone with your exact name who lost their child — because, as far as you knew, you didn’t have any kids.

unless … of course, that’d make enough sense.

you made your way towards the aforementioned counter, and just as you suspected, choi san sat on the stool, swinging his legs as he waited for your arrival.

“san-ah!” you whined, seeing the workers giggle amongst themselves as they saw the way his face lit up as soon as he saw you. “my child?! really?!”

“you abandoned me!” san pouted, grumpily crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at you. “you said you’d be at the dip aisle, but you weren’t.”

“i’m sorry about that. i got sidetracked.”

san scoffed, gesturing towards the shopping cart. “yeah, clearly.” he sighed, scanning the items inside. “why do you need a chew toy? we don’t even have a dog.” he couldn’t help but laugh, amused by the items you had impulsively bought.

“it looks fun, okay?!”

“a chew toy, really? my love, i–”

“shush, you can’t say anything when you literally made a public announcement instead of searching for me!” you defended yourself, unable to hide your smile when your boyfriend pouted again. “you are just a big baby.”

“okay, yeah, i agree, but i am your big baby.”

© 2023 ALOHAJUN | PLEASE REFRAIN FROM COPYING OR REPOSTING MY WORK WITHIN OR OUTSIDE THIS SITE

[persephone11110]

rain is a good thing

Jake‘Hangman’Seresin x Reader

Chapter 2: I Can’t Breathe

warnings: exes share the same bed, mentions of scars, past mentions of abusive relationship- reader ex byf, taking care of one another, mentioning of injury—reader cut her hand in chpt1, mentions of past choking, implied child abuse protective jake seresin, reader and jake are angsty assholes towards eachother, the chapter is in 2022

Chapter Summary: Your still trying to wrap your head around the fact that your ex boyfriend was sleeping next to you- that he remember your fear and much less your address.

author note: this took forever to write and but with that heres chapter 2, I wanted to thank everyone who continues to like everything!!, the actual chapters are present day which is set 22’ both chpt 1&2 Jake already been called back. also the reader and Jake started dating in 2015ish and broke up in 2019, I didn’t wanted the chapter to end on a happy note, can we tell I love Etta James first lyric is from A Sunday Kind Of Love

WC: 1.2K

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Series Masterlist

—

Last night had be a fever dream, your head pressed into Jakes chest, how he ran his fingers all throughout your hair. When he rattle through your dressers trying to find you both new clothes he noticed his orange sweatshirt, “I’ve been looking for that all this time and she had it this entire time”. Shaking his head he pulled the sweatshirt over your head, knowing how much his cologne calmed you.

You and Dr. Michaels next session is going to much longer than usual.

Of all the things you expect to see after last night — this wasn’t one of them. Your ex boyfriend standing at your stove flipping pancakes wearing nothing but a white towel around his waist, lip syncing to Etta James.

I want a sunday kind of love.

Your leaning aganist the couch wearing a small smirk, he hasn’t changed a bit just the muscles Jake had from two years ago have gotten bigger. He flips another pancake“Sweetheart staring at my v-neck is going to slow me down”.

Jake turns the stove down- walking towards you with a big grin on his face, “Hungry Y/n?”.

“I am very hungry”. you gently shove past Jake scooping a pancake out of the pan onto your plate.“Aren’t you going to eat too Jake?”, you ask him holding a plate out, Jake scratches the back of his neck, his face reddened—dirty bastard. You decided to act oblivious to Jakes sexual innuendo more interested in the food infront of your face. “You know wherever everything is Jake”.

You stood at the counter scarfing down food versus Jake sitting at the island with a fork in his hand. “Y/n your gonna choke if you keep eating like that”. Jake raised his eyebrows at how animalistic you ate your food,“ Remember the last time I had to the heimlich on our third date because you were swallowing the steak without chewing it first”.

You glared at Jake rolling your eyes at his mother-hen antics to calm his nerves you pull a chair up to the island. Sitting in front of him, he hands you a fork. “Y/n I promise all the food I made and what you put on your plate is all yours”. Jake gives you a reassuring smile before stabbing at his strawberries with his fork.

He remembered, to bad Travis never did he always reminded you to eat as little as possible whether it was breakfast, lunch or dinner. He hated how much you ate on a daily basis, leaving notes on the fridge, on your nightstand in your car— saying eat less.

You couldn’t blame him, you did eat like a pig especially if it was food that your taste buds enjoyed to no end. “Y/n I can’t fucking form a sentence when you all your doing is your rattling fingers in a damn chip bag, he snatched the chip bag from you tossing it across the bedroom.“Next time be fucking considerate”.

“Thanks for last night,and for breakfast …” you fumble to find more words to say but Jake holds his hand up cutting you before you could struggle even longer for the right words.

“Y/n we might be exes but you needed help, its not like you wouldn’t do it for me either, as I remember someone saying something long the lines of I’d run every red light If I had to if meant getting to you”.

You blush at how Jake uses your sentiment words aganist you. You couldn’t help but think to your past relationship why couldn’t Jake do this when you two were together. What changed Jake?, did he find a girl that he changed for, was she worth his time?

You must’ve spent sometime in your head with your spiraling thoughts because Jake says your name with concern attached to it. “Y/n something bothering you?”.

“When did you realize you didn’t love me anymore?”

Thinking back to two years ago when you declared to Jake that you couldn’t take being on the bottom of his priority list. You never asked when and why he lost his love for you, what made him stop caring about your feelings.

Jake swears he heard you wrong,“Darlin theres no reason to end the peace we have going on right now”. He attempts to sway your thinking, turning the conversation onto something else,“Why don’t I make something else to go on your plate?”.

“I mean it Jake was something I did?,— did I gain to much weight, did I have to much emotional baggage for you to handle?”. You get up from the table, walking to the couch.

“Darlin n-no It wasn’t you I—”. Jake gets up to walking towards you, “I couldn’t balance my work life and love life at once alright Y/n it was never you”. Jake eyebrows furrow when he realizes your injured hand. He wants to reach and grab your hand and it inspect it more, but Jake knows how much you hate being touch during a moment like this.

You almost want to let the scoff sitting on your tongue escape. He’s acting like you don’t work hours as a trauma nurse, as if you didn’t see people die almost everyday of your life. As if you didn’t play god with their lives.

“Bullshit”. your voice in more harsher tone than before,“You decided that you didn’t love me anymore because you didn’t feel the urge anymore”. You backed away from him,“Do you know how many nights I spent in our relationship even after we broke up trying to piece together why I was so worthless of your basic love and affection or your fucking attention”. A watery chuckle escapes your mouth betraying the pure anger and confidence in your voice.

“As if you can fucking talk darlin your hours as a nurse aren’t so different from the hours I worked”. Jake standing over you now, his jaw vibrating with anger.“How dare you Y/n”.

“Yeah I worked but I made sure I set aside time for you—for us”. your lips pressed together in frustration, why can’t he just stand there and listen.

Jake crosses his arm with a angered expression and you swear you saw Travis’s face.“Are you listening to me?”. Your walking towards your apartment door—ready to run away from Travis knowing what about happen. “I tried Y/n you just make me hit you”.

“Y/n can you just stand still please I actually want to talk this out”. His accent thick with irritation,Jake grabbed you by the wrist a little to tight.

“Just lay there Y/n”you can hear Travis’s vicious voice in the back of your head. At first you feel paralyzed with paronia unable to movie afraid for your life.

You snatched your wrist from Jakes hand,“Get the fuck out” you angrily point to the door.

He scoffs,“I can’t believe I thought you matured enough to have a conversation without your feelings getting hurt, I should’ve stayed home when I heard your desperate voicemail cry for help Y/n”. He snatched his wallet and keys from the table.

“To answer your fucking question I realized the morning you left me with a little goodbye note”. Jake slams the door behind him leaving you standing with a heavy feeling in your gut.

Tears shook through your body.

I hate you, I love you.

Taglist: @chocolatefartstrawberry,@buckysteveloki-me, @dontletthemtakeyoualive, @kellyls04, @els-marvelvsp, @classyunknownlover, @i-am-mrsreckless,

[harrywavycurly]

You’ve always been one of my fave writers, and I just have to know—in the “It was just one night” series we know Eddie keeps getting jealous of Steve—is that because it’s Steve? Or would he feel that way with anyone flirting with us?Especially in the early stages of pregnancy when it’s not too noticeable yet.

Hiiii babes!! Awe you’re so sweet😭 so in this series it doesn’t matter who it is flirting with you especially in the early stages, Eddie doesn’t like it😂 in his mind it’s because he doesn’t want random people around his baby even though it’s not born yet🙈 but I’ll happily give you some examples of how he handles other dudes flirting with you!💖

-find all things One Night Stand Eddie here✨

*Eddie is over seeing guys flirt with you while you’re about ten seconds away from punching him in the face*

“You have really pretty eyes.” “Thank you…so what movie did you need tickets for?” “Whatever movie you want to watch with me sweetheart.” “Dude..word of advice…she snores and chews with her mouth open…she’s like a damn pig at the water trough.” “Uh…you know what? I think I’m good on a movie right uhm…now.” “Eddie what the actual fuck?” “What? I just did you both a favor.” “How the hell was telling him I snore and eat like a pig at a trough doing me a favor?” “Because you’re pregnant and he never stood a chance.” “He stood a chance…he was cute.” “Okay but you’re still pregnant with my child and I don’t want my baby around that douche.” “You’re so annoying…what are you even doing here?” “It’s your lunch break…so I brought you some food.” “Oh…thanks.”

“Hey you know her?” “Huh? Who?” “That girl that’s with that kid at the pac man machine.” “Oh yeah I know her…I heard she just got out of prison.” “Prison? What…for? She looks so….” “Normal? Yeah that’s how she gets you…she lures you in with her looks and normalcy and then next thing you know you’re talking the last nap of your life and all your money is gone.” “Holy shit…” “yeah…wanna meet her? I’ll call her over here if you want?” “No no I’m uhm…I’m good.” “Whatever you say man…have a good night.” “Who was that you were talking to? He was looking at me like I was…crazy.” “Oh him? No clue don’t know him….here’s your water and Dustin you get three more quarters then we are out of here.” “I don’t like water…” “and I don’t care…now drink it.”

“Edward Munson I’m about to kick your fucking ass.” “Uh…why?” “You told Rick I was a high profile escort?” “Did I?…hmm don’t remember telling him that…I thought I told him you were a recovering kleptomaniac.” “What is wrong with you? Why are you running around Hawkins telling every dude in the city limits horrible lies about me?” “Uhm let’s be so fucking real with ourselves sweetheart you have a stealing problem so…that’s not a lie.” “I stole a shot glass from the hideout because I didn’t realize I still had it in my hand when you walked me out to your van…” “ah so you also have a drinking problem?” “I’m going to kill you one day…I just know it.” “Besides you don’t need all these gross dudes hitting on you…while you’re in this..condition.” “This condition? You mean knocked up with your baby?” “Yes…that’s exactly what I mean.” “News flash Edward I am just carrying your baby…we aren’t together so I can flirt and be flirted with by anyone I want okay?” “No…not okay…i don’t want my baby to listen to you flirt or be flirted with by a bunch of assholes.” “Why? It already listens to you talk…might as well add some variety in the voices of assholes it has to listen to.” “You wound me…now go drink some water and have a snack.” “Don’t tell me what to do jackass…” “yup that’s the mother of my child right there…the picture of niceness.”

[awkwardarmadildo]

SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE REIGATE SQUIRE EPISODE !!!

here are my favorite quotes and bits from both parts (m=mariana, s=sherlock, j=john, w=wiggins, a=rich little pissboy) [excuse all the emojis, i think theyre funny and they help me get the tone across better]

m: "whos a beautiful, weird smelly boy? thats right, thats you! uee!🥰😍😙😄"

the entire introduction handwriting bit actually theyre so silly and goofy i love them so fucking much bro

s: "what is this 🤨? some kind of code 😲... a cipher😮... its ineligible but it has patterns😯... similarities in its form😲... what could it mean 🤔?" m: "...its johns handwriting" s: "😮‍💨 ah."

s: "youve taken me to a loud marketplace 😐. full of people shouting and strong smelling foods 😑" j: [allistic sputtering]

j: "youre supposed to be resting" s: "mhmm" j: "you are though ☹️" s: "oh i know that" j: "then dont say it. mkay? dont even think it" s: "dont say what?" j: "😠 i 😠 know 😠 what 😠 you 😠 are 😠 about 😠 to 😠 say 😠" s: "not about to say anything 😇" j: "good" s: "fine" j: "lovely" s: "splendid 🙂" *typing sounds* j: "what are you doing?" s: "sending... a message" *message notification* j: "oh i-... from you 😒... the game is afoot- uahhhh" s: [voice getting smaller as he runs away] "i told you i wouldnt say it! 😁😊😌"

s: "a hunk. a dish. a ssssstud. a certified BeefCake." j: "oh, don’t say beefcake ☹️" m: [whistles] "yum!" j: "oia-! dont say yum! 😟☹️😠"

the bit at about 25:45 - 26:00 in the first part. just imagining a mix of someone chasing after their dog when they hear it chewing on something it shouldnt be and "what d'you have?" "a knife!" "NO!"

s: "watson here is one of the most capable medical practitioners london can offer 😤 i am in safe hands" j: "yeah youre delirious, im calling an ambulance😒🙄"

j: "yeah, well, y'know. id rather you went home and stopped collapsing, but Here We Are 😒😠" s: "fine 🫤😒. ʰᵉˡˡᵒ"

j: "aaaa ow! that-! she pinched me ☹️😣😥! *turning and pouting at the small child while pointing at sherlock* 'scuse me! i didnt steal the swing, he did 😠😤!"

j: "lets go 'nd betray this old mans trust... ✨️ t o g e t h e r ✨️😊😚☺️"

w: "sherlock pal"

w: "i sure did"

w: "hey johnny boy, how ya doin"

w: "nice to meet ya mariana, heard lovely things"

w: "from sherlock"

every word out of wiggins mouth

every noise wiggins makes

wiggins

s: "the temperature of your bollocks are not my concern. it is alec cunninghams bollocks that i am interested in" j: "*into the mic, likely while making a stupid face* you heard it here first folks"

a: "forrester- get off- call my dad. call my dad right now-" m: "nobody needs to call their dad, alec 😒 were not in the playground 🙄"

a: "NOOOOOO 😨😢😟" s: "yyyyes ☺️🤗😇"

a: [sad little rich man whimpering]

i actually kinda liked colin he was kinda funny to me because i would have to be bleeped just as much as he was lmfao. sometimes people say fuck

[turvi]

Remus Lupin- Mandy the Calf

Warning: mentions of sex.

Y/n had just come back from grocery shopping as she knew Remus will home in a few hours and would immediately feel hungry. Even though Remus is a calm and collected person he could be a bit finicky because of his empty stomach.

As Y/n approached her front door she noticed a calf sitting on the porch blocking the front door and chewing grass. She sighed. When she had thought of living a cottage life with Remus this was not what she had imagined. While Remus would be away teaching at Hogwarts she would be pestered time and again by the calves that walk into their lawn.

She cautiously approached the calf and talked to it like it could understand her "hey buddy can you move a bit? A very hungry werewolf of my husband is coming home and I need to feed him"

The calf kept chewing its grass. Y/n tried to unlock the door while the calf sat there and chewed. It finally moved when Y/n opened her door. "Thanks, buddy" Y/n said to the calf but as she got into her house she put her groceries on the table to see the calf had entered her home.

"Ohh no" Y/n tried to move the calf out but it sat in the living room and slept. Y/n sighed and she realized that she was already late and decided to go to the kitchen and make dinner and deal with the calf later.

Remus took off from work early today. He quickly said his goodbyes to his colleagues and left. He was aching down there and he immediately backed up his car from the parking lot and left. He sped up a little but not too much that might harm him. He gripped the steering wheel tightly as he reached the familiar street. There were not many houses where they lived. It was a close-knit community and everybody knew everybody but still, they minded their own business.

As Remus parked in the garage, he took a deep breath. He had to do two things once he entered the home. Ask his wife for consent and then fuck her so good that she forgets her own name.

He entered his home and heard a moo. It startled Remus and he looked that a calf was sitting in his living room. He called out to Y/n "Honey?"He stared at the calf who had a milk bowl in front of him. Remus rolled his eyes. He knew his wife loved animals and now she would be paying attention to the calf rather than her needy husband. He groaned as Y/n entered the living room.

"Oh, Rem isn't it cute? I named it Mandy"

On any other day, he would have loved this but right now his boner was growing as he saw his wife's apron clinging to her figure. Y/n noticed Remus' face looking flushed "Are you ok Rem?"

He got closer to her not minding the calf one bit and held her tightly against him "can I please have you? Just give me a few hours then you can spend as much time as you want with Mandy." Remus gave his best puppy face and hoped his wife said yes. Obviously, he needed her but he was not going to force her if she didn't want to be with him right now.

She teased him "how long are we talking?"

He smirked "I look forward to keeping you with me all night maybe even till morning"

"Remmy what about dinner? What about Mandy?"

"Well, I am not that hungry. If you are you can go ahead and eat and I don't think Mandy will be disturbing us at any time soon. What will it be hun?" he whispered in her ear.

Y/n quickly went to the kitchen to cover the food and took Remus' hand and led him to their room. "Try not to make too much sound. I don't want to traumatize Mandy"

Remus kissed Y/n and picked her up before she could make any more noise.

The next morning Remus woke up to something licking his face. He woke up to see Mandy licking his face.

"Y/N!!! GET THIS CALF OUT OF OUR ROOM"

Y/n was giggling as she entered the room. Her husband hugged her and pouted "where were you? You were supposed to greet me good morning, not Mandy."

She laughed "oh you man child I was making breakfast. I didn't realize when Mandy entered our room."

Remus didn't respond to her as he was busy leaving wet kisses on her neck when all of a sudden Mandy bumped his back. He groaned again. "If Mandy stays here I don't think we will be able to make babies"

A/N: Don't ask me what this is. I swear this is not a fever dream. REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK APPRECIATED