#I could’ve made them a Hex humanization

[the-rotunda]

Meet Scooter Algenon - yes, related to Sir Algenon, creator of the park itself! And though they haven’t inherited their uncle’s spirit of adventure, they care about Alton Towers just as much. Now serving as the watchperson of the Power of the Towers, Scooter’s made it their life mission to keep the magic of the park alive - hopefully without much fuss!

[akunya]

“companionship.”

pairings: android!hex haywire x m!reader

summary: can a robot and human fall in love?

tw: HYPNOSIS, NONCON, manipulation, yandere, etc. robot sex, voice fetish, onahole, voyeurism. size difference, belly bulging, etc.

notes: i love this cliche au of sex robots and things like that, so here’s my take on it.. with hex.

it’s probably terrible and i guess caters a certain niche, but let me know what you guys think.

today was it - the day you’ve been waiting for! finally, after all your hard work throughout the year, you saved enough money to buy your own, state of the art, artificial intelligence assistant.

and, luckily for you, today was also the grand debut of a brand new line of androids: xsoliel.

your hands were as shaky as ever waiting in line at the mall, double checking your savings to assure yourself you weren’t dreaming. nijisanji’s new line of androids were practically everything anyone could ask for: equipped with unique and interesting designs and personalities for each member, xsoliel offered a variety of services: whether it was for your own selfish pleasure or to help with manual labor, there was surely somebody for you.

..or so, that’s how the commercial sounded anyways. you silently thanked humankind for blessing the world with this era of companion-droids. seeing the ad nearly a year ago, you were star struck at the first all-male line nijisanji had debuted: luxiem.

unfortunately, they were sold out and only resold at steep prices— but, a few lucky online bloggers raved about their features, endless posts about how amazing it was to have an assistant of your own. while they could’ve surely been exaggerating, ever since that moment, you put money aside each week, even taking on extra jobs to make a little more cash to achieve your dream.

and it was finally time to reap your benefits.

while you didn’t know much about xsoliel nor intended to coincidentally buy an android of your own on the day of their newest launch, that didn’t stop you from checking them out. reading the blurbs about each member peaked your curiosity even higher. “a delinquent? people really think of anything these days, huh?” chuckling, you let yourself playfully criticize each member. you quickly bit your tongue, thoughts coming to a halt after reading about a certain individual.

“..what kind of name is hex?” muttering to yourself, you couldn’t hide the faint blush on your face as you stared at the model inside of the store. sleek attire, it almost made him look like a professor than a robot. paired with optional glasses (why did he even need those? can’t he see perfectly?), hex’s design made your heart flutter. his official advertisement described him as a nurturing, gentle servant, perfect for new customers to start off with. illustrated to have a deep, nearly hypnotic voice, hex’s programming was assured to have his users satisfied and satiated with their purchase.

swiping your card at the checkout, you really hoped you made the right choice, signing off a couple waivers and documents the employee had given you.

just a week later, you realized you didn’t regret your decision at all.

living with an ai assistant could only be described as luxury. hex truly was made with a “newbie” owner in mind, and the way he spoke to you sometimes made you wonder who was really in charge. his sweet, charming voice, along with how gentle and kind he was towards you, lifted your spirits instantly.

for instance, hex was a wonderful outlet to talk to when things went wrong — and, as if it was magic, nearly every problem you spoke about washed away the next morning! your problems with coworkers quickly diminished, and you even got the raise you’ve been praying for months now. he’d always offer such delicate touches, hugs and shoulder massages when he notices you’re pent up from a long day. you couldn’t fight off the dreamy, floaty headspace you were in when he was around.

not to mention, hex even did some of the chores while you were at work without being told to. even though you felt too guilty to ask him to clean the house, he didn’t seem to mind, making sure you came home to a clean room and nicely folded laundry each day. hell, he even told you he was looking into cooking, something that wasn’t originally included in his list of abilities. hex seemed to go above and beyond for you each time, amazing you each day.

it was a normal friday night, and you were with him as you always were, spending most of your time with the robot.

“y/n, why don’t you ever want to use me for something else..?” the question made your face feel warm, hairs standing on the edge. you two were cleaning up the kitchen after preparing dinner. laughing awkwardly, you tried to shrug off his curiosity, shining a plate with a dish towel. “well, id never want to force you to do something you didn’t like, silly.”

hex’s brow furrowed, a hint of anger resting beneath the surface. who said i didn’t want to?” for an android , the way he spoke was jarringly natural. your eyes widened in surprise, speechless for a moment. hex talked so nonchalantly about sex, but you had to remind yourself he was still a robot after all. as human as his synthetic skin and olive eyes may look, he lacks a beating heart and flesh.

“i-im not sure i want to. im just not interested in that type of stuff right now..” you let your voice trail off, sitting and washing in silence before hex spoke up dangerously close to your ear.

“you don’t have to lie, baby. i can hear you in the middle of the night when you touch yourself.” his deep voice made you shudder, unable to move. didnt you tell him to shut himself off during the nighttime? you were sure you ordered him not to snoop around, especially on nights that you planned to indulge in yourself. gulping, you laughed awkwardly as hex didn’t seem to budge.

“ah, s-sorry for disturbing you, ill try and keep it down next time..” his hand enveloped your own, forcing you to meet his gaze. goodness, his hands were big. warm, soft, inviting — strong, too. hex squeezed your hands, not bothering to stop when you winced from the pain, smiling. “you don’t have to keep it down. you should let me help you.” the way hex spoke was as if he was demanding you, not letting go until you gave him an answer. “it’s what i was.. made to do, anyways.” his voice was filled with solemn, playing with your heartstrings.

the silence was weighing on your thoughts, biting your lip in anticipation. hex knew how to make you uncomfortable, how to give into his desires and requests even when you didn’t want to — on the surface, at least. “alright, i will..! next time ill let you help me, okay?” you huffed, hex letting go of your hands and putting them on your shoulders instead. “good boy. you’re listening so well.” you hated how warm his praise made you feel.

the next night you needed help came sooner than you thought, shamefully letting hex in when he knocked on the door. the android wasted no time making himself comfortable in your space.

“a-ah, hex, slow down! please!” his hand was wrapped around your fleshlight, pumping vigorously as you squirmed in between his legs. your back was pressed against his chest, caged in the ai’s arms as he pleasured you. he caught you trying to use it to get yourself off, and figured he’d give it a try.

except, he failed to mention that his hands also had a vibrating feature. the soft yet firm jelly of the fleshlight practically whirred against your dick, making the experience all too elevating, groaning as hex held you in his arms. this has to be what those bloggers were raving about, right? hex held the toy at the tip of your cock, squeezing a bit to snap you out of your thoughts. you practically sobbed out, eyes tears from how good his touch felt on your skin.

“yknow, when you look so vulnerable like this, it makes me want to ravage you. who knew my master could be so slutty?” you whined at that, the ai chuckling deeply. you could truly stop him by force if you wanted to, considering you were technically his owner, but god did he make it hard. spreading your legs open so he could continue to jerk you off like the pathetic loser you always were. feeling another orgasm coming, your moans started to get louder, nails digging into hex’s synthetic skin.

“shh, goodness y/n. you’re going to wake up the neighbors if you keep moaning like a slut. hmm..” the man hummed to himself, shuffling around while you were distracted. “maybe i should give you something more, right?” before you knew it, his cock was circling your hole, causing you to panic.

“wait, h-hex! that’s too much, im already tired!” you tried to fight back, scrambling in his lap. his hands held up underneath your legs, holding you in place with his strength. of course he could overpower you — he was a robot, for gods sake. even though you were still painfully hard, you couldn’t imagine having sex with an ai of all things.

that is, until you felt something whirr against your ass.

oh.

of course, that part of him vibrates too. why wouldn’t it? as if hex couldn’t be too good at what he does already, it was as if his manufacturer wanted to overkill him with all these extra functions. hex laughed at your stillness, kissing the back of your neck. “i promise it feels good.”

he didnt bother giving you any warning either, nor waiting for an answer, slamming your hips down and shoving himself inside. even if his cock was lubricated, it still hurt like hell, making you cry out in pain. you’ve never felt so full before — just how big was he? you remember a conversation with the clerk at the store that day when you first bought hex. they had asked you about sizes.. but you thought they were just talking about his height, opting for the biggest size they had available. what an idiot. no wonder the clerk blushed a bit at your response.

slowly, hex rolled his hips against yours, his dick stretching you out against your will. “i always imagined us like this, baby. id take care of you, and you’d.. well, take it.” hex smiled, groaning in your ear as his dick nearly stirred up your insides. your brain couldn’t think of anything to say in response, too full to retaliate against the androids firm grip.

“you look stupid, baby. can you feel me? riiight here? look at how well you’re taking me.” hex’s cool fingers pressed against your stomach, nudging the bulge from his cock and making you whine even louder. your poor little cock was like a fountain, leaking nonstop as his pace didn’t falter.

it felt as if you were the one helping him out in this position. the ai was unexpectedly loud in bed, moaning and whispering about how well behaved you were, and how he’ll spoil you like this everyday from now on. every day? could you even handle that? with how he was taking control, surely there was something wrong with his wiring. you started to think about how to return and maybe get someone to take a closer look at his hardware, before a painfully deep thrust snapped you out of your thoughts.

“o-oh!” you were embarrassed by the yelp you let out, your body trembling before finally releasing, soiling the sheets underneath you two. “it seems like you’re doing a lot of thinking today, y/n. what could possibly be on your mind other than me?” hex, amused, chuckled in response, kissing and licking the back of your neck. “good boy. that’s it, let it out. only think of me from now on, okay?” his voice felt so dreamy; so hypnotic.

“y-yes sir,” you managed to mutter our, much to hex’s chagrin. he didn’t need any recovery period since he wasn’t human, so the robot simply got back to milking you dry, pounding into your tight hole like an animal in heat.

you’d never find out that hex’s model was recalled for several malfunctions and viruses, he made sure of that.

how else would he give you everything so easily?

[slavonicrhapsody]

a closer look at the weapons of Mt. Gelmir

Do you ever get possessed by the uncontrollable urge to catalogue every weapon related to Mt. Gelmir, overanalyze both their visual design and their purpose, and then arrange them in a rough timeline reflecting Mt. Gelmir’s history? Because I do! There might be something wrong with me. Anyway, I ended up grouping the weapons into three main eras: the ancient cult of the great serpent, the Inquisition era under Praetor Rykard, and Rykard’s war of blasphemy against the Erdtree. This analysis became ungodly long, so I’ve put everything under a read more:

CULT OF THE GREAT SERPENT

Long before Rykard took up residence on Mt. Gelmir, the volcano was inhabited by a civilization who worshipped the Great Serpent: they practiced pagan hexes of poison and magma, and offered up blood sacrifices to their Serpent God. The weapons associated with this civilization can be identified by the following characteristics: an association with pagan magic and ritual sacrifice, dull-colored metal or wood material, and serpent imagery.

Serpent God’s Curved Sword

“Curved sword fashioned in the image of an ancient serpent deity and tool of a forgotten religion practiced on Mt. Gelmir. Formerly used to offer up sacrifices, this sword restores HP upon slaying an enemy.”

This weapon helps establish the distinct visual style of the serpent cult, since the cult is specifically referenced in the description.

Serpent Bow and Arrows

“Malformed bow in the shape of a pair of poisonous snakes. Imbues arrows with poison through pagan magic, revealing its true worth when used with poison-infused arrows. Used by assassins known as the Formless Serpents.”

“Arrow carved to resemble a flying snake. Used in tandem with the Serpent Bow. Loyal minions of the Formless Serpents, their fangs are daubed with deadly poison.”

Who are the formless serpents? Who the hell knows. But what tells me that these weapons are from the same era as the serpent cult is both the style and the mention of “pagan magic,” which brings to mind the ancient magma “hexes” that Rykard eventually rediscovered. We find the bow in the Caelid Abandoned Cave, among a hoard of ruined abductor virgins… this seems to be a case of Rykard utilizing the weapons of the serpent cult in tandem with his own modern inventions.

Serpentbone Blade

“Sinister katana modeled after a serpent bone. The densely packed row of spines that jut away from the cutting edge are coated in a lethal poison.”

A quest reward from Tanith, which implies that Volcano Manor has many of these serpent cult weapons stashed away somewhere. This weapon is likely infused with the same poison-imbuing pagan magic as the serpent bow. Notice how the hilt is decorated with coiling serpents in a dull metal color.

Devourer’s Scepter

“Scepter in the shape of a serpent devouring the world. This weapon will one day become the very symbol of the Lord of Blasphemy. A vision of the future briefly seen by Rykard in his final moments before being devoured by the great serpent.”

I believe this weapon was crafted by the serpent cult as a premonition or a prophecy of their god that they had glimpsed, which Rykard himself glimpsed in his final moments. The description says the weapon “will one day become” his symbol, implying that it had existed long before him. We also know that this weapon can’t have been made after Rykard was devoured because, since we know that Tanith was “the only human to remain by his side when he became the serpent of blasphemy,” the only ones who could’ve created the weapon are the man-serpents — and as we’ll later see, the three weapons we know they created have a uniform design that’s entirely different from the Devourer’s Scepter. Lastly, the serpent depicted on the weapon does not have Rykard’s face, while his personal sigil does depict both his and the serpent’s head.

INQUISITION ERA

Now, we skip forward in time to the weapons created under Rykard’s tenure as Praetor, during which he enforced a brutal inquisition involving the imprisonment and torture of people most likely presumed to be heretics (ironically, this inquisition in the name of the Golden Order was itself physically built upon a hotbed of ancient heresy). We can distinguish the newer weapons from the ones of the serpent cult based on a few factors: they were made to be instruments of torture, they are decorated with loopy flourishes, and there should be no serpent imagery — I don’t believe that an Inquisition of the Golden Order would be using weapons decorated with snake imagery due to their society’s view of the serpent as a “traitor to the Erdtree,” especially because the previous heretical denizens of the volcano had been crafting weapons in the serpent’s image.

Inquisitor’s Girandole

“Instrument of torture used on nobles behind the curtain at the Volcano Manor of Mt. Gelmir. Its numerous spikes pierce the flesh, then singe the wounds with flame. The smell of burnt blood induces despair in the victim. A candlestick conceived by a thorough mind.”

Unfortunately, this is really the only example of a purely inquisition-era weapon in the game, but it is immediately noteworthy that there is no snake imagery here whatsoever. The loops and flourishes are consistent with other design work we see throughout Volcano Manor, such as on the mechanized metal bridge:

Ghiza’s Wheel

“Great iron wheel lined with flesh-flaying blades. Device of torture used by Inquisitor Ghiza. As the wheel spins it causes severe pain and blood loss. The design was adopted for use as the iconic weapon wielded by Iron Virgins.”

We know that Ghiza’s Wheel was created as a weapon of the inquisition. The wheel itself is also decorated with a loopy design, but the handle is interestingly covered in golden snakes. However, the description also reads that the design of the wheel was “adopted for use” on the iron virgins: the handle of the wheel matches the gold coiling snakes of the abductor virgins, so I propose that the special handle was added later on, when the iron virgins were likely created as machines of war for Rykard’s blasphemous crusade. Perhaps Ghiza worked on them too, and made adjustments to his wheel’s design himself?

WAR OF BLASPHEMY 

When Rykard declared his treason against the Golden Order and the Erdtree, it’s likely he embraced the serpent as a symbol of his blasphemous intentions. For this reason, I theorize that Rykard only started actively using serpent imagery after his treason, which is also why we don’t see serpent imagery in the architecture and design of Volcano Manor itself. 

Abductor Virgins

Looking at the abductor virgins, we see serpents throughout the design mixed with intricate swirls and flourishes, which in my opinion places their creation after Rykard's treason. We also don’t know for sure if they were created before or after Rykard fed himself to the great serpent, but I’m inclined to believe it was before: The iron maiden is a notorious real-world torture device, so it would make the most sense if Rykard’s own torturers had a hand in its creation, and we know that they had abandoned him after his devouring. It's also possible that they were altered after the fact by the man-serpents, however.

Magma Weapons of the Man-Serpents

After Rykard’s devouring and the subsequent birth of the man-serpents, we have a new subset of weapons that appear — all of these weapons make use of Rykard’s innovations in magma sorcery based on the old hexes of Mt. Gelmir. They are all made of filigreed gold and embedded with glintstone, and are created and wielded by the man-serpents. 

Magma Blade

“Curved sword with a blade fashioned from the lava of Mt. Gelmir. An armament of the man-serpents, impossible for a human to have made.”

This description implies that this trio of magic weapons must have been created by the man-serpents, which makes sense as we know that Tanith was the only human left on the Volcano Manor’s staff. The man-serpents are clearly capable of forging complicated weapons.

Gelmir Glintstone Staff

“Staff with a forked tip, embedded with red glintstones. Enhances lava sorceries. The Man-Serpents of Mt. Gelmir draw from faith in addition to intelligence to enhance the potency of their sorcery.”

Again, this description identifies this as a weapon of the man-serpents, and tells us that they are adept sorcerers who have followed in Rykard’s footsteps. The design references a serpent’s forked tongue.

Magma Whip Candlestick

“This ritual implement is a three pronged candlestick with solid flames formed of the magma of Mt. Gelmir.”

Volcano Manor sure loves its candles!

Man-Serpent’s Shield

“Small copper dome-shaped roundshield carried by the man-serpents of Mt. Gelmir. Said to have been tempered in lava, it boasts great resistance to fire.”

This one isn’t technically a weapon, but it’s still worth examining. Notice the embedded gems and the bright gold snake imagery, consistent with other weapon designs of this era.

CONCLUSION

The art in this game is extremely deliberately designed, and it can tell the story beyond what just the words on the screen say. Many of the specific details are my own conjecture, but I think it’s quite clear that these weapons are consciously designed with similar features in order to place them within the game’s world and history.

[blues824]

🧙‍♀️Can I please request the dorm leaders with the female Solomon

✨Imagen them learning that her magic is more powerful than the whole school combined and Have a no chance of overbloting because they learn to control their powers and emotions

(her joking about what whoud happen if she overbolts)

🧙‍♀️Them loving their susy sorcerers and learning about her pacts wit demons

Them also learning that she became immortal thx to her food.

✨And imagine her summing asmodeus when she is dating Vil so they can do their beauty stuff

🦚(and she can do some shady stuff or eat her cooking because her cooking made him lose his dorm leaders spot until she said it was food (because who can make the stronger poison gets the pomefiore dorm head titel ) that's why she isn't allowed to cook.

🐙Her and azul making a business from their perfect positions the shady couple.

🐉Malleus finally being happy that they don't have a normal human life span and are also royalty and she doesn't fear him I can see her touching his horns and sebec flipping out and it.

🦁Leona hearing her call his nephew chiaua 2.0 and jokes that he and luke could be friends.

🎮Idia being confused how he got such a s/o who also likes anime.

🌹Her telling riddle that the only rule she broke is acedently becoming imortal.

☀️And Kalim and her cooking that almost caused jamil to overbolt again but they they both get saved by her because someone kidnapped both Kalim and jamil and her just getting summend by Kalim and saving the day

Oh my god 😂. Y’all flooded my inbox.

Riddle Rosehearts

He’s seen your magic, and it’s completely different from the one they use in Twisted Wonderland. One such difference is that yours can actually be deadly in itself, while theirs can only lead to deadly repercussions.

Don’t even joke about any possible overblots. He can collar you sure, but your magic is different as stated before. You see, rather than being born with it, you had to learn it as well as harness it. You would be unstoppable because you’re immortal as well.

He remembers the one time where Trey asked you to help him in the kitchen. He had never heard him scream in such a high-pitched tone. He ran in and saw Trey passed out and you adding ingredients left and right. With food like this, it’s no wonder you’re immortal.

During his overblot, he sees you summoning literal demons to fight him as well as using your own spells. To be honest, he could’ve been killed by the demons if you hadn’t ordered them to keep him alive.

In the infirmary room, he breaks down and apologizes for everything. You try to lighten the mood by saying that the only rule you broke was making yourself immortal, but it makes him feel crappier because you didn’t do anything to deserve any of this.

Leona Kingscholar

Isn’t surprised to see that you’re more powerful than anyone else. Kind of the rules of the Sunset Savanna. Remember when he says that he’s both kind of scared and greatly respects women? It really rings true.

He’s genuinely concerned when you take blot accumulation lightly, and often joking about it as well. Like, don’t you know it’s life-threatening?? Then he remembers that you don’t accumulate blot. He would be worried if you still overblotted despite the 0% possibility.

He really doesn’t trust anyone besides Ruggie to make his food, but he most definitely won’t be trusting you any time soon. He’s heard from everyone that you never follow any sort of recipe, so he tries to get you to lay down with him so he’s sure that you aren’t in the kitchen.

He saw when he overblotted that not only did you summon literal demons to try and take him down, but you also used your own spells and hexes. Like bro… TAKE A CHILL PILL! Even in this form, he can still die!

In the infirmary room, you see Leona’s nephew (he’s probably told you about Cheka when he was trying to prevent you from going into the kitchen). The older beastman woke up to you cooing about who was an adorable chihuahua. He definitely wasn’t jealous.’

Azul Ashengrotto

Probably tries to get you tied up in a contract for your magic but you explain that your magic isn’t unique to you. In fact, as long as someone summoned a few demons and forced them into a pact, you could learn from them. His glasses flew off his face when you told him that.

If you ever joke about overblotting, he gets very worried. You failed to explain that you don’t accumulate blot. The cecaelia knows that your magic is more powerful than any contract he can make, so your overblot would be deadly to even the Diasomnia dorm.

Once, he heard Grim was sent to the infirmary after trying one of your home-cooked ‘meals’. He was absolutely shocked. Then you ask him to try it because ‘It CaN’t Be ThAt BaD’. He told you that he was allergic to something you put in the dish and you left it alone.

When he overblotted, he counted 72 people he didn’t know. Then he realized that he didn’t sense any magic in them, just power. They were demons. He felt a tad bit betrayed and also a bit scared because he could possibly die.

In the infirmary room, you make sure to stay by his side until he recovers. I mean, you kinda just packed him the f up, so you felt obligated. You both made an agreement that you would help with the granting of wishes if he ever gets to a place where so many people want something.

Kalim Al-Asim

Is absolutely amazed and intrigued by your magic because it’s not like anything he’s ever seen in the Scalding Sands or at NRC. He doesn’t even care that you could bring an end to someone’s existence with the snap of a finger.

However, he may tear up or full-on cry if you brought up a possible overblot because he knows that it’s both dangerous and life-threatening. Please explain to him that with the magic you use, you don’t accumulate anything.

Unfortunately, Kalim tells you that the only food he’ll eat is the food made for him by Jamil. There are no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. Jamil most definitely wouldn’t allow it either because of the monstrosity you end up making in his kitchen.

When Jamil overblots, he hears you shouting out random incantations. Then he notices that your pact marks are glowing. He pieces two-and-two together and comes to the realization that you are summoning demons to help you take down Jamil. He is absolutely worried about his dear friend, but it is kind of necessary.

In the infirmary, you try and make Jamil some food as an apology for packing him the f up, but both he and Kalim refuse. Not only does the food smell horrible, it just looks horrible. Kalim politely refuses it while Jamil gives you a death stare.

Vil Schoenheit

Feels downright threatened by your power, but also amused by it. Because not only are you stronger and better than Vil, you’re also stronger and better than Neige. He has a love-hate view towards you.

Don’t joke around with him about overblotting. He knows that you can’t exactly do that, but 1) everyone else still can and 2) the possibility is never 0. You would do better without jinxing yourself anyways. 

When you presented some food you made, everyone was astonished. Then Vil broke down in rage, yelling about how dare you make a more lethal poison than I??? You were confused because you just made food… not poison. You refused the crown of Housewarden of Pomefiore out of pure offense.

When Vil overblots, he knows that your first move is going to be an incantation of some sort. What he didn’t know was the exact incantation you were going to do. So imagine his unfortunate surprise when he sees a bunch of demons just appearing and attacking him.

In the infirmary, Vil is awake. You have a box with you and he looks at you with suspicion. You open it and it’s full of skincare items. You then bring in your friend Asmodeus to help you. The three of you have a little fun relaxing and getting him back to optimal health.

Idia Shroud

Do you know how terrified he is of you? Sure, he’s not the most powerful person at Night Raven College, but to be this powerful?? You would have to be a UR+ character!!! Not just that, but he’s just terrified of people in general.

If you even think about joking around about overblotting, he’s gonna freeze. Can you even accumulate blot? He thinks about it, and he then realizes that Twisted Wonderland as a whole might be destroyed if you can actually overblot.

Would tell you straight up that he does not wish to eat your food. The eyes are literally blinking and looking at him. He feels more disturbed than ever. Is this even edible to humans? It’s more like a potion than actual food.

When he overblots, he probably already guessed that you had demon pacts because he’s played the game most likely. Plus, you use that kind of magic. To be fair, you weren’t exactly hiding it in the first place. What he couldn’t guess was how many demons and what abilities they had.

In the infirmary room, you offer to wheel in a TV and snacks and watch some anime with him. He looks at you shocked but you smile and say that the next episode of Chlorine is coming out after 10 years (iykyk). He has a very dopey smile as he settles in the bed and grabs a bag of chips.

Malleus Draconia

He respects you a lot. You don’t meet a lot of people who are more powerful than the five powerful mages of Twisted Wonderland. To be fair, you don’t meet a lot of people who partake in the dark arts at all, but here you are.

If you joke about overblotting, he’s confused. Didn’t you say that you couldn’t overblot since you didn’t accumulate blot at all? He’s also worried because he wouldn’t be powerful enough to stop you before the blot killed you.

Would pull out every excuse in the filing cabinet of excuses to not eat either yours or Lilia’s food. The two of you just don’t seem to understand that your food is inedible, even for most fae or sorcerers. You both are just built different.

When Leona overblotted, Malleus was standing at a distance “so as to not get hurt”. He did see you, though, coming in like a knight in shining armor. You activated all 72 of your pacts just to tire Leona out so he didn’t die.

Lilia holds you in great respect, as well as Silver. However, Sebek wants to yell at you. He wants to be shouting in your ear that you’re a bad influence to Malleus because you partake in the dark arts. But he can’t

[hadesrise]

𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆.

summary ➳ you should have a happy ending, even if barty had to push you away for you to have it. but at what cost?

pairings ➳ bartemius “barty” crouch jr. x male reader

warnings ➳ angst, foul language, lovers to strangers, no happy ending, sad barty, arguments, hurt/no comfort, VERY SHORT, kinda depressive

author’s note ➳ uhm... yeah. i’m in barty crouch jr. phase. i’m trying to write smut for him, okay? i just need a little motivation from his tiktok thirsty edits.

Barty believes memories to be more significant than anything else. Unphotographed, precious moments that are stored inside a human’s mind that plays over and over again whenever nostalgia hits, or when seeing something that reminds of someone. Memories keep people going and appreciate little things in life; it keeps them alive.

That’s why people become less and less human when they lose a memory, because they forget every significant moments of their life, which means forgetting what made them who they are in the present. He considered losing memories to be most unfortunate and awful thing to happen, especially if it’s early dementia because it meant not remembering those treasured moments within just a span of few hours or days.

Memory lost has become his greatest fear ever since meeting you in Hogwarts. Learning to handle every moment with carefulness and carry them gently in his arms, Barty greatly feared forgetting any moments he shared with you, even those others considered little and insignificant. First meet, first conversation, first meal together, becoming friends, hanging out together, studying in the library, going to Hogsmeade, pranking others, bickering, falling in love, feelings being reciprocated, first little gifts, first date; he remembers every single moment, even one as small as you painting his nails black. Even the moment both his and your heart broke.

Just the thought of forgetting them made his skin crawl and anxiety devour his soul from the inside. The extreme fear is new and unfamiliar to him, considering he’s never been afraid of anything, and the foreignness of it makes his stomach turn. He doesn’t know how to deal with fear, only knows how you’re the one silencing them, the one who commands the storms inside his head to quiet down and remain in peace.

You were always the one. Never someone else.

The heartbreak of losing you as consequences to his sin still had its effects despite forcing himself to get everything together. The memory of your horrified expression as your eyes stare at the dark mark on his wrist embedded into his brain. How you couldn’t even utter a single word, throat tight and shoulders heavy, with betrayal written in your face as tears flowed like an endless waterfall down to your cheeks. How the blood drained from your face as it pales, realization sinking in. How disappointment carved your expression, and the moment Barty realized it wasn’t directed at him. Painful voices of memory still lingered in his ears, the way your trembling voice whispered, “Was I not enough?” brokenly to him.

You blamed yourself for the sin he committed.

Nothing but that is a sword to Barty’s heart.

You could’ve screamed and beat him up, could’ve hexed him and abandoned him. But all you ever did was stand there, in front of him, with horrors in your eyes as you stare blankly at Barty as if tears weren’t running down, words after words slipping past your lips that took his heart out.

“Did I do anything wrong for you to choose this path?”

Barty snapped his eyes up to meet your empty gaze, taken aback. But he didn’t meet your eyes despite you looking at him. “(Y/n)...”

“Did I fail to love you as much as you wanted?” You asked again, not hearing him. “Have I treated you horribly? Have I failed to meet your expectations and standards? Is it my... Is it my fault...?” Each words drove the sword deeper and deeper into his heart.

How could you think that? You were always enough. You gave him everything no one else could’ve given. You loved him truthfully despite his flaws and imperfections. You offered your heart to him, even though people told you not to. His father was never proud of him, but you were. His father considered him a failure, but you considered him a treasure. Cherished him, brought him down to earth, taught him to feel and love. You’ve always been good. Unbearably good, sometimes.

Bloody fucking hell, why the fuck didn’t he choose to be loyal to you instead? Why did he go around having that death mark carved into his skin when it should’ve been your name?

Barty could feel tears build up as the back of his eyes sting. He didn’t want to join. He wanted to be with you, have a great home, adopt a child, and be a happy family. He wanted you close, needed you close. But what’s been done can’t be undone.

“Why are you blaming yourself?” Barty whispered. His frustrations were building up, to himself, to you, and to the circumstances he put himself in as his voice starts to raise. “Why can’t you fucking blame me? Everytime I do something, you’re always blaming yourself asking that! Stop making it about your-fucking-self!” He yelled, leaving you loss for words.

“Not everything revolves around you and not everything I do has to do with what you did or didn’t! It was my bloody choice. Stop acting like I’m a fucking kid who makes irrational decisions from how others treat them!” He hissed in distaste, hatred and disdain plastered on his face.

“Barty—”

“What, you think you’re so fucking important to me that you not being enough affects me?” He spat, and instantly regretted it when your face falls. But it’s been said and his mouth doesn’t know when to fucking shut up. “Nobody cares, (Y/n). Stop trying to put a blame in yourself for every little thing I fucking do ‘cause it makes you look pathetic. It doesn’t matter what you do or didn’t do, I would’ve still fucking chose this path.”

You swallowed thickly, blinking away the tears. “Are you saying I never mattered to you?”

Fuck, your voice is so fucking quiet that his heart dropped. He could hear the devastation, the heartbreak, the betrayal. It stabbed him repeatedly, feeling like his chest is being squeezed from how hard it was to breathe. His entire body felt numb, his heart being the only thing experiencing sharp and stinging pain, like multiple knives were being digged into it.

It’s so fucking painful, but how could he stop? He loves you all too much not to drive you away with sharp, piercing words. He had to, otherwise you will be in danger, or worse be recruited as well. You don’t deserve that life — a life where you have to kill and torture someone else, forever follow a path you cannot escape, with not a single ounce of peace around. A life where there’s no happy ending. You didn’t deserve that, and Barty would rather hurt you to push you away than let you get the possibility of being recruited.

It was difficult to open his mouth and utter the words, but he did.

“You’re nothing to me.”

And just like that, he witnessed the moment your heart completely shattered to the ground and his heart being torn apart. There was nothing else he can do but to shut his eyes tight as a single tear escaped the corner of his eye.

He will forever be tormented by this memory, but will never ask for it to be forgotten, no matter how painful and torturous it is. That was the last he saw of you as you had disappeared with no trace of existence behind, only leaving a single note for him to find.

𝓣𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓷𝓸 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓾𝓼, 𝓷𝓸 𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓸.

You couldn’t be so certain about that. You could have your happy ending now that he successfully drove you away at the cost of his heart being empty, with him living a dark life with only bad ending to meet at the end.

He could never have it, but at least you could, right?

Barty has been feeling all too emotional ever since the break-up. Although he turned himself into someone he knew you hated, that is solely to hide the fact he’s been hurting and crying himself to sleep almost every night. A tough and evil façade to keep everyone away from looking into his memories, his feelings, his undying love for you — even if it meant he had to join in on the torture of Alice and Frank Longbottom. You probably hate who he became now, but he still loves you. He doesn’t think he could ever stop.

Seeing you so close made him nearly breakdown on the spot. Sitting there at the professors’ table, right beside Severus Snape, as Dumbledore gives a speech.

Barty, disguised as Alastor Moody, frowned. Your eyes looked empty, as if you had seen every horror of this world. It wasn’t sparkling brightly like it used to, holding wonders and beauty. It was dead. Soulless, even. Despite the occasional smiles you threw at the students, light never appeared in them like it forgot what happiness was. Your smiling expression merely just a mask to cover up how empty your face looked to not scare the students.

He can’t ask what happened. But he can wonder out loud.

“What happened to him?” Speaking to McGonagall with the gruff voice Alastor had, nodding towards you. “He looks dead without the smile.”

McGonagall took a glance and sighed. Only the students never notice it, thankfully. “He’s been through a lot, Professor Moody. Do him a favor and never ask him anything about his past or his family.” She muttered only enough for him to hear.

“Why? Does he have none?”

She looked at him sharply, “Because he doesn’t remember anything at all.”

Barty froze at that. “Doesn’t remember?”

McGonagall looks down, grimly. “Professor Dumbledore found him in a Psychiatric Ward. He said it is likely (Y/n) threw himself there and obliviated himself with leaving only memory of who and what he is. He��s been the Professor for Study of Ancient Runes since then.”

Barty’s heart dropped as he looked at you, devastated. He could practically feel another sword piercing right through his heart.

You remember nothing, not even the memory of your first meet. Not even the first date, first kiss, or first love making. Was it your way of forgetting the pain he caused? Was it your way of punishing him, knowing fully well he’s extremely sensitive regarding memories with you? Was this his consequences for hurting you in the first place?

It should be a good thing, isn’t it? That’s what he wanted after all, to have you as far away from him as possible. Having no memories of spending most of your Hogwarts days with him certainly keeps you away from the dark, right?

But it did fucking hurt, and a big slap to his face.

Did he mean that little to you that you can easily obliviate yourself of those memories? No, he knows he mattered the most to you. You always made him certain of that. Were those moments not important to you as they were to him? No, they were. You told him they kept you alive and happy. They’re the most significant untangible things you’ve ever had. Were you so enraged? Probably, but not really. Were you too much in pain? Probably, but it couldn’t be enough to obliviate your memories.

Now, are you trying to prove something to him? Possibly, but what could it be?

Barty thought, and thought, and thought. Tirelessly everyday, he thought about why you did it while enduring the throbbing pain in his heart, desperately wanting to believe your love for him was not that easy to forget nor let go of. He didn’t stop thinking. Not until he can find answers.

But then, the answer finally came.

In the most brutal and cruel way that made his knees weak and heart shatter to the ground just like how yours did that night. Made his skin pale as devastation, regret, sorrow, disbelief, and utter heartbreak all heavily dropped on his shoulders like a burden.

Eyes glued to your wrist that was carved in the dark mark.

So this is what you wanted to prove — that even without meeting him, you would’ve been in that same path he chose, that driving you away only made you closer to where he didn’t want you to be, that happy ending was never an option in the first place. You proved it to him in a hard way, costing your memories, the most significant thing in the world.

He thought about what would’ve happened if he didn’t choose to abandon you by pushing you away. Maybe everything would’ve been okay, even if you got recruited. Maybe you would be standing with him, the memories still inside your mind, never leaving his side. Maybe you wouldn’t have hurt yourself as much as you hurt him.

But nothing can bring him back to that night.

“There is no happy ending for us, no matter what you do.” Barty echoed what you had wrote in the note that night, and only then did he realize what you meant.

In the end, all of that sacrifice and emotional pain meant nothing — you and him were not destined to have a happy ending, no matter what he did to protect you.

All for nothing.

© ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴅᴇsʀɪsᴇ. sᴛᴇᴀʟɪɴɢ, ᴘʟᴀɢɪᴀʀɪᴢɪɴɢ, ᴏʀ ᴜsɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴍᴏɴᴇᴛᴀʀʏ ɢᴀɪɴ ɪs sᴛʀɪᴄᴛʟʏ ᴘʀᴏʜɪʙɪᴛᴇᴅ. ᴀsᴋ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴏʀ ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪɴɢ.

[slytherinsnekxvii]

let's talk about lily evans and the marauders, aka moony, wormtail, padfoot and prongs. given that i didn't use their actual names, i think you can figure out where this is going. it's also long as hell, so. canon vs fanon, marauder edition, except snek is sleep deprived.

now, before we begin, i don't dislike the marauders. or lily, tbh. if I'm being perfectly, genuinely honest, i still go back and forth sometimes but they've been growing on me for a while now. the canon versions, at least. fanon does them real dirty, and that's part of why i'm writing this, because i'm genuinely tired of it. it's an injustice.

you can at least make excuses for james and lily, who were so undeveloped that jkr practically dropped a fill-in-the-blank sheet of character information in our laps, but sirius, remus and peter were around long enough for y'all to get real acquainted with them.

in canon, sirius black is an unhinged mf. genuinely. this isn't to say he's a bad guy, in fact, we see that he's still capable of doing good things, still capable of love, still capable of all the things that prove he's actually not bad at heart, just,,, severely traumatised and very steeped in negativity from his time with the dementors. what i'm saying is that this man is absolutely, no questions asked, no holds barred demented, and how could he not be? the guy sat wrongfully imprisoned in azkaban for twelve years, a good portion of which he spent as a dog in order to protect himself from the dementors. he certainly wasn't completely insane, but you cannot tell me that he was all there. he got out of azkaban fuelled almost solely by the intent to get revenge on pettigrew, tried to commit murder in front of three witnesses who were also children—one of whom was his godson—ate rats and was also malnourished, which i'm certain did not help the situation any. this man is off his goddamn rocker, and you know what? you love to see it. good for him.

oh, but, snek, that's what he's like as an adult. what about when they were at school? before azkaban? my guy, the reaction he has to grimmauld place is not the reaction of someone without trauma. i don't believe that walburga and orion were the type to physically abuse their children, but whatever happened in that house helped to fuck him up enough that he skipped the joke of part of practical joke, and pranked snape by telling him how to meet a werewolf that he knew would be fully transformed and dangerous to humans. more than that, the werewolf was remus, whom he's friends with, and who—best case scenario—would be facing a trial if james hadn't stepped in. you can say that maybe he didn't think about or understand the gravitas of his actions, but at the end of it, that's not how properly sane people react to people they dislike, and that's not how they treat their friends. if anything, it reads like he was in the middle of a breakdown and absolutely losing his shit and he wasn't thinking at all.

my guy went through some serious shit, and was in no way completely mentally stable. we can see pretty clearly that he's got a serious dark side to him that probably would have gone unbridled had he not disagreed with his family, and yet, fanon took one look at him and went, "teehee, uwu bad boi go vroom."

fanon said padfoot is a pretty boy with nice hair who is tastefully traumatised from his horribly abusive household. sirius rides his motorcycle and plays jokes and flirts with anything that moves, but he can do no real wrong and always comes back to his soft, bookish, chocolate-loving boyfriend remus, who will laugh about his lycanthropy and quietly disapprove but secretly laugh at his friends' antics while hiding his smile in his cardigan.

respectfully, what in the absolute fuck.

i'd put that meme in here if i could, the one that's like, "well done, you've broken _______ down to its bare essentials," but no. i can't bc it doesn't even apply. this isn't a meme, it's theseus' fucking ship.

fanon broke it down, and replaced the pieces one by one until we got to this point, where we need to sit down and ask ourselves, "is this even the same character?"

the answer is no, by the way. it isn't. when people talk about woobifying characters—you know, taking away every flaw they have, romanticising everything they do and making them only capable of doing good, wonderful, lovely things?—this is what we mean.

and it'd be one thing if it was just the one character, but, no. fanon went all in and made them all squeaky clean and boring, especially peter, who draws the shortest of the straws.

remus got fucked, too. not just because fanon insists on sticking him into a relationship with sirius. which, we'll tackle wolfstar in a bit, but that's not even the worst of it. here, we have yet another example of blatant, rampant woobifying. again, is he a bad person? no. we know he's a good guy, we know he's generally kind and well-mannered, we know that he wants to fo the right thing but hey, fun fact. did you know that you can be nice and a coward? did you know that you can be benevolent and good and kindly and have the greatest of intentions and still be shady as fuck? no? ask dumbledore. the man played people like chess pieces when he needed to, and he was a twinkly grandpa. these are things that can coexist.

teenage remus is a coward who, understandably, does not stand up to his friends, likely for fear of being ostracised, and doesn't uphold his prefect duties as he should and takes part in their bullying of snape as a result. he lets them romp with him in werewolf form while they are in their animagus forms and then, he lets them continue to do so even after they have multiple close calls, which, again, had anything happened, would have resulted in a trial in the best case scenario.

grownup remus is still a coward, he tells no one that sirius can move about the school in his animagus form despite wholeheartedly believing that he's a mass murderer, he tries to run out on his wife and unborn kid. he isn't deliberately making attempts to harm anyone, but he's content to sit back and let things happen to him and around him so he doesn't rock the boat, although he is capable of action, which we see when he is more than willing to help sirius merk pettigrew in the shack. he can be careless, he runs out to the shack knowing he hasn't taken his wolfsbane and ends up transforming in front of the students he, as a teacher, is meant to be protecting. of course, this doesn't negate his good qualities, it just bears repeating that his flaws do exist, and they're pretty serious.

fanon moony is always pleasant and kind and soft-spoken and bookish, and he always has to have his chocolate. he knows when to tell off his friends, and he'll do it, even if he's secretly amused by everything they do and laughs about it with his best friend, lily evans, who coincidentally spends all her time with them so he and sirius can go on double dates with james and lily and no one has to remember peter exists.

why. theseus' ship 2.0. does the actual character still exist or is this something entirely different thing bearing the same name?

as for peter, who needs peter pettigrew, the actual, legitimate, fourth marauder when you have lily evans? canon pettigrew is opportunistic as fuck. he's latching himself to the biggest bad on the block and he's going all in. for teenage peter, that was james and sirius, and for adult peter, that's voldemort. canon peter is good enough at transfiguration to master the animagus transformation, just like his friends, and he's good enough at potions to brew the potion that gives voldemort a body. and honestly, you can't say he wasn't brave. he could've run off somewhere and died, or changed his identity or something after he faked his death and framed sirius, but, no. he goes and resurrects voldemort. that's fucked up, yeah, but it happened and honestly, i respect that it. he stuck to his guns.

fanon wormtail is lucky if he exists beyond being a spineless sycophant for james and sirius, or an evil conniving little rat who's looking to toss his entire friend group to the wolves at eleven.

of course, this isn't meant to negate his bad qualities, he still murdered people and framed sirius and sold out the potters to die, but his good characteristics do exist, and james, sirius and remus genuinely were his friends.

and now, we get to lily and james.

we have hardly any information on either of them. they're a pair of cardboard cutouts that we can paint and stick flyers to and colour outside the lines however we want. we can do whatever the fuck, as long lily is brave and smart and somewhat kind and james is brave and willing to die for his family. we were essentially handed a pair of ocs.

and yet.

what little bits of canon we have are thrown out of the window regardless.

james is privileged and rich, and he throws hexes for fun. he's willing to hex lily when she disagrees with him, and then, he goes behind her back to continue hexing snape after she believes that he's stopped doing so. and that's all we know about him until he dies for his family at twenty-one years old. once again, say it with me: this does not negate his good qualities. he definitely had them, he took sirius in when sirius ran away from home, he became an animagus to keep remus company as a wolf, and he saved snape in the shack, thereby saving remus and sirius by extension. him having flaws does not make him a bad person.

fanon prongs is a feminist. he fights for equal rights for women everywhere, and he constantly treats his girlfriend, lily, like an absolute queen. he's the hottest boy in school and everyone claps when he walks through the halls. mcgonagall and dumbledore are always patting him on the back and making jokes with him. he has a built-in dark detector that helps him sense when someone is a evil and needs to he punished.

give me a break. the dude's cool and all, but was the gary stu treatment necessary?

...oh, he needed to match fanon lily? right, right.

canon lily is a contradiction unto herself. she's supposedly a great friend, but since we see her at a point where they were already drifting apart, we see her putting little effort into keeping their friendship afloat. she victim blames based on rumours, she doesn't seem to care over much about what snape has to say about the people who have been tormenting him since day one. and she's justified, of course, she doesn't have to stick around. canon lily is a bit of hypocrite, she says that snape calls everyone of her birth mudblood, but then that begs the question why she still hangs around with him if that's the case. he calls her mudblood, she retaliates by calling him snivellus, and finishes up with a dig about his underwear, which, sure, it's kicking a man with a rusty spoon and pouring salt in the wound, but she's, again, justified. i get where she was coming from. and then, of course, she dies for her kid after marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied her quote-unquote best friend for their entire school careers. but, like i said, canon lily is, in many ways, a contradiction.

lily is basically a plot device. she pushes everyone's narrative but her own, and does little else.

of course, this trend would continue in fanon. fanon lily exists to be the perfect girl who gets really angry over the slightest injustice, and of course, she gets to be one half of one of the oldest enemies-to-lovers "it was just sexual tension" cliche pairings in the book. she's just,,, a mary sue. in so many fics, so many headcanons, she's just pettigrew's stand-in, a girl to form a gang with marlene, mary and dorcas—who happen to be more undeveloped ocs who also get the woobify mary sue treatment—to parallel the marauders. there is nothing compelling about her character when she's presented as a saint, and even less when she's supposedly the other moral compass for the marauders that doesn't actually work because she thinks that james is cute.

and this brings me to the next topic. jily. what, why, how. this was supposed to be a healthy, happy relationship that would have lasted in the long run? absolutely not. even for its time, i can't say that i see it lasting.

first of all, jkr presents james' crush on lily as just that: a crush. a mildly obsessive one, but a crush nonetheless, which she tries to liken to the pulling of pigtails. and then, we see that james' way of getting her to go out with him consists of blackmail, and when that doesn't work, he resorts to threatening her. this could have been set aside if he had actually, genuinely changed when they started spending more time together, but as we're told by sirius and remus, he didn't. he just got better at hiding what he was up to. and it has to be that he hid it, because if she knew, this further damages the character that she's set up to have and paints her out to be either unable to stand up to him or an enabler.

regardless, they get married. and while i have trouble believing that it was out of genuine love, there are scenarios that could make some semblance of sense. it's wartime, after all, and maybe lily is worried about her stability in the wizarding world, so why not marry into an established family whose son is already showing interest? or perhaps, she falls into the trap of every bad boy cliche ever, and she thinks to herself, well, i got him to be better then, maybe i can get him to do even better in the future. or maybe, she doesn't get into a relationship with him immediately and sees him on and off, until eventually, she accidentally gets pregnant and they scramble to have a shotgun wedding so as not to leave lily alone at nineteen with a baby. or maybe they marry each other because they're there and sure, neither of then is ready and they don't know what love even is but what else is there to do when there's a dark lord about? anyways, the point is, they get married.

and then what? if we count pottermore into canon, he goes on to further damage her relationship with petunia and vernon, to the point where she ends up crying. if we don't, she fades into the background enough that nobody has anything to say about her. she's harry's mum, she's james' wife, lily potter, she was kind and smart and brave and that's it. her agency is gone, anything else we have of her personality is gone.

jily just,,, wasn't built to last. and, yeah, this,,, this is a hill i'll die on.

same with wolfstar, honestly. there are so many reasons why it wouldn't work, but fanon has made it so fucking prevalent that it's literally everywhere no matter where you look.

first of all, i've said it before and i'll say it again. sirius is more likely to get with james that he is to ever end up in a relationship with remus. their chemistry is just,,, underdeveloped. net zero for a relationship.

secondly, sirius instigated the werewolf prank, and lupin would have paid the price for it. this could have been overlooked, but he doesn't seem the slightest bit guilty about any of it when it's brought up in poa. he could have been responsible for lupin losing the security of his place at hogwarts in the best case scenario, and in the worst case, his life. and he seems to look forward to full moons, even though they clearly aren't pleasant for remus, which,,, yeah, you're going to have fun, but like, maybe be concerned about the fact that your friend undergoes excruciating pain and it isn't a pleasant time for him? read the room, my g.

thirdly, they don't trust each other as much as fanon seems to think they do. they were both willing to believe each other the traitor before ever suspecting pettigrew. sirius thought remus gave away the potters, hell, he thought remus was a spy for voldemort, and remus was convinced that sirius was a mass murderer. neither of them needed to be convinced.

fourthly, maybe i'm reading too much into it, but like. sirius had money. remus had no money, since, yk, he was a werewolf and struggling for cash and still, sirius,,, did not leave him any money. i feel like if you had money to spare, you would give to your friend who is literally poor. but, again, maybe i'm reading too much into it and this isn't as valid a point as i think it is.

and ehh, the fifth reason is that it's,,, actually very much not the representation for the ltgbt community that fanon says it is but y'all aren't ready for that conversation.

anyways, just,,, even when you set the couple shit aside, the power dynamics between everyone here is fucked. like, james and sirius are clearly at the top of food chain calling the shots and egging each other on. then there's lily, who isn't even a marauder, but is always ever-so-slightly above remus but still not on their level, because, well. neither of them actually listen to her. remus is the novelty friend, the friend who's,,, alright, i guess, but you keep them around specifically because they're funny or they can dance or they have something that you can either show off to other people or keep as your little inside joke, your little secret, yk? and peter is just sort of there. like, yeah, he can do what we can but does that make him as good as we are? no. does he have a funny little something about him that we can exploit? nah. therefore he sits at the bottom. and like, yeah, james and sirius are on the same level, but james is yanking sirius' chain, not the other way around. anyways, like i said. power dynamic's fucked and it bothers me that we were given all of this, and fanon decided to take it all and throw it away so they could give us flamboyant!badboi!sirius black x softboi!motherhen!remus lupin going on double dates with feminist!trustfundbaby!james potter and saint!lily evans while ignoring peter pettiwho?

theseus' fucking ship, indeed.

anyways, this needed to be said. it might not make as much sense as i want it to, considering it's 4:12 in the morning as i'm posting this, after taking a break from writing to do some research and coming across way too much content about fanon marauders, but it's here and it still makes enough sense that you can read it and understand what i mean. and like, at the end of the day, you can go ahead and headcanon whatever you please, you can write fic and make art and do whatever you like, just,,, remember that they're exactly that. headcanons. stop presenting fanon as canon. please. i'm literally begging. we actually have evidence against it. just,,, acknowledge that they're headcanons and stop putting them forward as though they're able to fit into canon. please.

[sparkbeast20]

Chapter 3 : First once, first again

This Chapter is part of "Seven Masters" an Roleswap AU.

Ch.1 Ch.2

Synopsis: After you ran to the woods, the brothers decided to go after you, even though danger is everywhere.

Warning: Swearing, Animal attack, and Demonic Nature

Three hours has pass, after you left the house of Lamentation. Headed to the woods, leaving the brothers in shock and injured.

Asmo start patching up Lucifer’s chest wound, after he bandage Beel’s arm. While Levi and Belphie clean up the room.

Mammon and Satan slip away, and head towards your room.

“I saw how confuse they were” Mammon, mutters as he sits at your destroy bed, holding the crow plushie he gave you as birthday present.

It seems that most of the things they gave you, were is in tack. Which gave Mammon a little more faith that you still remember them.

“We’ll get them back Mammon, don’t worry about that” Satan tells his brother, while digging through your things for anything that might cause all of this.

“Then why aren’t we out there looking for them!” Mammon quickly stood up, clenching the plushie in his hand tightly, frustrated then a sound of a hand slam on a surface, surprise Mammon.

“Don’t you think that we aren’t doing anything! We can't just walk out in the woods without a plan or preparations, because let me remind you that we are humans. And the woods as beastly animals that can kill us” Satan doesn’t even glance over to Mammon, he just looked down on the top of the dresser, and both hands on it. “I know it’s annoying, that we can’t do anything right now, while our human turned demon is out there, lost and confuse-” Satan place a hand over his eyes trying to hide the tears falling from Mammon “I feel so useless”

Mammon didn’t need to see to know that his brother is upset. He knows that Satan saw what he saw, from the moment that Satan ask him to go to your room to find any clue of what’s been happen to them and you.

Satan feels guilty for not doing more to help you, and Mammon feels the same way.

“Oi, listen I know you saw what I saw” that got Satan to look at Mammon, with a shock look. “When I made them look into my eyes, I saw the real MC, they’re in there. But you know how demons are. It took us centuries to diel back are urges and nature” Mammon walk to Satan and place a hand on his little brother’s shoulder “If MC made us better then demons, then we should to the same thing.” Mammon flashes a reassuring smile at Satan, who face turns red and looked away from Mammon.

“Why are you acting like this all of sudden”

“I’m trying to make ya feel better, and I like teasing my little brother.” Mammon wraps one arm around Satan’s neck and start ruffing the top of his head. “And since you can’t change into a demon to rip me in half, I’ll take full advantage of this” Mammon starts giggly, as Satan try to escape his brother’s hold on him.

Then the door slowly opens, Mammon let go of Satan, who quickly compose himself. While Mammon leans on the dresser.

“What are you two doing?” Belphie poke his head through crack of the door, and asks.

“Trying to find any clues of a spell, hex, or curse. That could’ve done this.” Satan replies and walk over to the door. “Is everyone patch up?”

“Yeah, Lucifer and Beel are all bandage up.” Belphie answer opening the door for Satan.

“Good, now get anything that we can use as weapons. We’re going to the woods to get are partner back”

The moonlight shines the path towards the woods.

All of them stand the edge of the woods, the question is……

“Wh-who wants to go first?” Levi was the one who spoke first.

“Look, is just the woods. It’s not like our rings where we literally can’t survive. And the only dangerous thing in there is MC.” Lucifer said as he took one step further.

“Lucifer, that woods have dangerous Devildom animals in there, and poisonous flora that can harm and even can kill a human.” Satan points it out.

“G’AAHH! The more time we waste, the more of MC’s humanity is losing control” Mammon grab his hair in annoyance, but running head first into the woods, with Lucifer pinching the bridge of his nose, before following Mammon, by walking. With the others right behind him.

“*pant* MC! Where are ya *pant* why I feel like a ran for hours with no end *pant*” Mammon bend and place both hands on his knees as he catches his breathe.

“That’s because you have the stamina of a human now, Mammon” he looked over his shoulder to see Lucifer with his arms cross, with the others right behind him. “And be careful, there’s pit fall in these woods. One wrong step can lead you rolling or falling.”

“And the animals in these woods, have everybody forget!” Levi yelled, causing Satan to shush him, when Levi was about to yell at him, Satan points without saying a word. Levi turned around to see a crow with a white feather making it look like it has a mohawk porch on one branches of a tree.

“Mammon, isn’t that one of your crows” Mammon looks at where Satan is pointing.

“Lil M!” Mammon calls out to his crow. But Lil M just roll his eye? At Mammon. “Wh! Hey it me the Great Mammon, your dad. Remember me and MC raise ya from an egg.” The crow perks up when Mammon mentions your name. the he squawks, then he starts flopping his wings and flew up and circle around the brothers before flying off towards north.

“I think his leading us to MC” Asmo said, but Mammon already ran off following Lil M.

“That Moron is going to get himself killed, if he ran off like that” Lucifer sighs and start walking.

“We’re going lose track of Mammon, if we keep walking the same pace as you” Belphie power walk around Lucifer, and start running with Beel and Satan right behind him.

“Lucifer are you okay?” Asmo place a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“I’m fine Asmo” Lucifer gently push Asmo’s hand off and processed to walk.

Levi and Asmo looked at each other with a worried look, before following Lucifer.

“Lil M, wait up” Mammon trying call out to his crow, but he just ignores him and keep on flying. “y’know where MC? Do ya” the crow squawk in respond, causing Mammon to let out a laugh.

After a couple of minutes of running, Mammon arrives to a clearing where there’s giant rocks near the edge of the clearing. On top of one of the rocks was you, your back facing Mammon. Lil M squawk and land on your horns, and started to coo.

“You again! Go bother someone-”

“MC” you looked over your shoulder, to a happy Mammon. His smile slowly fades when he heard you snarl.

“Oh look, the jackass that slammed a pot on my head” you sounded piss. “Is this you bird?” you pointed at Lil M, who coo in a sad tone.

“Well, he’s our actually, he helps me find ya.” Mammon let out a chuckle, as he rubs the back of his neck. “Y’know his sees you as his mom, because he saw you first when he came out from the egg that I was cook for breakfast. I got scared when a pink blob falls into the blow from the egg. He was lucky that you were helping me that day, otherwise I might have called Beel for help”

“Ah! So that’s why he keeps following me” you reach out your hand, then Lil M flew and porch, you looked deep into his eyes, a memory of you petting him on the head, and him nuzzle into the side of your face as you laugh.

You let out a quiet gasp with your eyes widen, you drew your hand close, and your other hover over Lil M, you gently rest your forehead on the crow, and he start nuzzle he’s face on the side of yours.

Mammon let out a sigh of relief, before he heard a branch snap and leaves shuffling.

“Hey, I found MC-” he turned around expecting his brothers behind him, but his little joy he has slowly disappear, when he saw a dread boar bearing his tusk at him, as it slowly gets near him.

Mammon took a step back, every time the boar came closer to him. After a couple of steps, Mammon step on a branch causing it to break in half. The sound angered it.

The boar let out a roar, and Mammon scream, as he turns around and start running toward the rocks. but he trips and landed on his arms, he quickly flips over and saw the boar running towards him. He uses his arms to shield himself and close his eyes.

The sound of the beast running stop, and a sound of a growl replace it.

Mammon opens his eyes and slowly drop his arms to see who’s making that sound. You standing right between him, and the thing that was about to kill him.

“If you what’s best for ya, leave” your voice sounded deeper, and assertive as you narrow your brow and glare at the monster. But it roars and was about to attack you, when to slap the creature’s snout. Then it ears lowered and crouch down making itself look small to you as it whimpers. “I warned ya, now Get!” you pointed to your left and the boar turned and with its tail between his leg, and slowly walk off while whimpering.

“Thank you, MC I thought I was-”

“Well, you own me I didn’t save you because I like you or anything. Lil M didn’t want you hurt” but the crow on your horns shook his head for ‘no’. But Mammon already knew that, from the sound of your voice.

Mammon is mentally leaping in joy. Even though you don’t remember him or his brothers, your first instinct was protecting him and maybe the same to the others.

Then he was shock to see you walking away.

“Hey where are you going?”

“I don’t know, and frankly I don’t care. All I know is that I don’t belong here”

“Then come back to the House of Lamentation with me” Mammon got up and walk closer to you. “Please come back with me, and promise the we’ll find a way to turn you and us back to normal”

“But what if I go all demon again, while I’m staying with you and your friends”

“Brothers”

“What?”

“they’re my brothers.” But he gets flustered when you looked at him closely “Wh-what are you looking at?”

“You and the big red head, are brothers? Nope I don’t see it” you cross your arms, and looked to the side

“Yeah, we’re brothers! And his also your boyfriend and so am I” Mammon point his finger at himself. But bit your lip trying to hold a laugh but Lil M didn’t he laugh at Mammon. “HEY! I’m being serious here!”

“Wait-wait” you place a hand on the side of your face, and the other making a waving gesture to Mammon. “You mean to tell me. That I involve with you and the big guy”

“Not just me and Beel, all seven of us. But I’m still on the fence on that.” He mumbles the last part.

“I-I really don’t remember or know anything you just said. For all I know you might be lying”

“I ain’t lyin’, look” Mammon raise his right hand with a ring on his middle finger “you give this to me, as a birthday present. Even I’m broke as fuck, I will never sale this.”

“So? Why point that out?”

“Because I’m the avatar of greed. But never once I though of sale this, imagine me who would sell my hand for grimms. But this ring never, cause-” he looks at you with eyes getting glossy, he reaches out and grab you hand, and place it near his chest “it meant selling my love for you MC” your eyes widen as your heart start to beat fast “please treasure come back with me. I-I-I can’t lose you again” as he whispers the last part of that sentence tears start falling from his eyes and on your hand.

“I-I” you trying to talk, but you are still concern about the whole thing. So, you looked away “I want to remember but-” you pulled your hand away from Mammon’s grasp “you have to do better than that” you looked back at him with a glare “anyone can make a sob story, heck demons do that all the time. To fool the humans to false sense of security. You have to do something for me so I can trust you.”

“How?”

“Well, you still own me after I save your ass from the boar. So maybe a life will be good”

“I’m not taking a life” Mammon yelled

“So, what can you do?”

Mammon has no idea what or how to earn your trust. If he gives you something less value then a life then he failed, all he has is the ring, a couple of grimms in his pocket and…… wait he has though of something.

“a pact”

“A what!”

“Make a pact with me, so you own my soul and I forever bonded to you”

“Are you sure? A pact is a big deal.”

“If this how I earn your trust. Then so be it, like I said I can’t lose you again MC” Mammon reach his hand and offered it to you as he waits for you to grab it.

He truly with do anything to not let you go, even making a deal with a demon and practically selling his soul to you.

You felt that this happened before, but you can’t quite put your finger on it. If he is telling the true then maybe he can help you can remember all the things you want to remember. But not just that you have some sort of urge to stay by his side, and his ‘brothers’.

“Alright, it’s a deal. You Mammon are entering a pact with me, be proud that you are my very first Pact I ever did. Or I remember at this moment” you grab his hand, then suddenly a surge of energy surrounds you and Mammon, scaring Lil M causing him to fly away. suddenly you felt a burning sensation on you right arm. While Mammon shut his eyes as he groans in pain, he felt a burn on the right side of his chest. Soon the second claw mark turned yellow, as Mammon sigil forming on his chest.

After a couple of second the burning feeling you, both felt slowly disappear and so as the surge of energy.

Mammon opens his eyes to see that it’s over.

“Wow, it over?” he looked around, before landing his sight at you.

“Yeah, I guess?” you tighten your grip on Mammon’s hand, as you looked down try not to look right in his eyes. “So…… that means I can’t leave you alone now” you closer to him. “Please, don’t make me regret this” you whisper it. Hoping that he didn’t hear that.

“I promise” you quickly looked up to him, and saw a smile on his face. You huff and pulling him. as the two of you start walking where he ran from

“Come on, let’s get you out of these woods Master”

[youngbugandtonystank]

what's the difference between what wanda did to those people in wandavision and what tony did with ultron?

I have so many asks about this. Hate asks, and people wondering what’s going on. This is the only one I’m answering.

Both of them are responsible for their actions. I’ve seen people try and take away either Tony’s responsibility for that or Wanda’s engagement and accountability. 

In Tony’s case, the Ultron program was supposed to be a global peacekeeping program to protect the people, acting as a suit around the world to prevent events like the Battle of New York. He was doing it in the name of peace and safety. Tony was rightfully scared because he was the only one who knew what was coming. Wanda intentionally enhanced that fear in him and this drove him to create Ultron with Bruce. He has responsibility for it. Same as Bruce. He owns up to this, he took full responsibility and agreed that they needed to be regulated. 

Tony Stark: A few years ago, I almost lost her, so I trashed all my suits. Then, we had to mop up HYDRA... and then Ultron. My fault.

--

Tony Stark: There's no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check! Whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, if we're boundary-less, we're no better than the bad guys.

--

Tony Stark: That's good. That's why I'm here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down and stop manufacturing.

--

If people think he needs to be in jail for it, then I’m guessing the rest of the Avengers too since all of them have made mistakes and killed people too. As a matter of fact, after the events of Wandavision, I’m sure that Wanda should be in the Raft, but because she’s ‘a poor baby’ yall won’t think she deserves that. 

SPOILERS

It’s a big possibility that we don’t have all the info about what happened in Wandavision but we’re going to go with what we know so far. 

In Wanda’s case, she did it to appease her grief and pain, and I can understand why she would get to that point, she’s been through a lot and maybe she was about to lose her mind. Instead of recruiting Wanda after the Sokovia incident, they should’ve given this girl treatment for her mental health problems. She just lost her brother and passed through a very traumatic war zone, of course she needs assistance. Cap and Natasha were the ones responsible for her because they were training the ‘new’ avengers. Sam was with them and he used to be a counselor to veterans with PTSD. He could’ve helped Wanda with some of her traumas. As shown in the series, Wanda did the whole hex business before meeting Agatha, which means creating that little reality was all Wanda’s responsibility. Hayward and Agatha did exactly what Wanda did to Tony (and the avengers/other people) in AOU. They manipulated her and played with her emotional traumas. Hayward showed her Vision’s body parts and Agatha started to pull strings to know how Wanda did what she did and her real powers while orchestrating against her. 

Both of them have made mistakes. No one is better than the other. I don’t understand why some fans want to make someone responsible more than the other or blame one character for the other. While Wanda gave Tony that vision and pushed his self-destructive side to obsess over saving the world, he did create Ultron, what Tony didn’t predict was that the robot was going to corrupt itself. Same with Wanda, while Agatha and Hayward contributed to her trauma, she held hostage and isolated 3,892 people to create her perfect reality, ripping these people away from their identities and free will to fit her own fantasy. Don’t turn this into ‘omg poor her, it’s Tony fault that she’s this way'. I can’t believe I have to repeat this but you don’t see Peter Parker obsessively looking for the person who manufactured the gun instead of the criminal who actually killed Uncle Ben. Ridiculous that I have to repeat this example. 

Oh and about Vision’s body (damn yall have a gift to turn everything into Tony’s fault for some reason). I can’t believe some of you think Tony (while grieving for 5 years) would give Vision to Hayward. You’re either pulling stuff out of your asses or you didn’t pay attention to the show. Maria Rambeau founded and was the Director of S.W.O.R.D. In 2018 (when IW happened), this is where she came up with a new policy within S.W.O.R.D. to ground snapped agents in case they ever returned. Maria was diagnosed with cancer, then two years later (2020), she passed away. Then, Hayward was promoted to Director of S.W.O.R.D., in his first years (2020-2022) he refocused the organization’s work from extraterrestrial operations to robotics, nanotechnology and artificial intelligence, etc. There, that was the 5 years. Then in 2023 it’s when he started project Cataract, which revolved around rebuilding Vision as a sentient weapon. Tony was dead when this happened. How come yall don’t get this part? I don’t understand, do you really think his dead corpse signed some papers to give Vision to those people? LMAO

Instead of thinking Tony would give up Vision just like that, think (possibilities):

Maria was the head of S.W.O.R.D., she might have just been keeping his body safe without doing anything with him. Maybe she trusted Hayward and he, obviously, betrayed her because he’s turning her organization into something else after her death. 

One of the Sokovia Accords regulations states that the use of technology to bestow individuals (the term ‘enhanced individual’ in this book is defined as any person, human or otherwise, with superhuman capabilities) with innate capabilities is strictly regulated by the government, as is the use and distribution of highly advanced technology. Vision signed those accords ('I'm saying there may be a casualty. Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict... breeds catastrophe. Oversight...oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand’) The Avengers were no longer be a private organization and they operate under the supervision of the United Nations. This means they (UN) were the ones that referred Vision’s body to S.W.O.R.D., to a trustworthy leader, Maria. 

Vision died in Wakanda, not in New York. Tony was missing for 22 days after the snap, the rest of the avengers should’ve taken responsibility for his body.  

Why is it always Tony’s fault but never consider that other parties are also involved in this? 

I want to address some other asks with this one. I know some of you are angry because people are starting to blame Tony all over again, so a few things to remember:

Tony did not create the Accords. The Accords were the result of all the collective actions the Avengers have done in their superhero careers. All of them have made mistakes and the collateral damage of that was taken into consideration by the government and 117 countries around the world. He signed the accords because he knew that he could amend them with the support of the rest of the avengers and he knew about Thanos (something big was coming). 

Obadiah Stane (it’s so bizarre for me seeing that some people don’t know who this guy is, I’m guessing that the people who are watching Wandavision are too young to remember or didn’t watch the Iron Man movies at all which is highly probable) was the one selling weapons to the wrong people, not Tony. Obadiah was the CEO of Stark industries and became second-in-command for two decades. He grew jealous of Tony and began cooperating with the Ten Rings in Afghanistan, selling them Stark Industries weapons illegally. Imagine blaming all of it on Tony when Obadiah basically murdered thousands only because he felt a little green. If someone who you trust (he had no reasons to doubt Obadiah since he was like a second father-figure for him) does something behind your back (take into consideration that people like Pepper; who was Tony’s assistant and had knowledge of all of Tony’s activities and responsibilities, Rhodey; who was the liaison between the military in the department of acquisitions and Stark Industries, and Happy Hogan; who was his personal bodyguard and Head of Security of Stark Industries, didn’t know what Stane was doing either), how are you going to know about it? Tony trusted him. And when he realized what was going on he immediately stopped all of it. He worked hard to be better and people overlook that because they want other characters to look better. 

Don’t act like Tony was the only one assisting the military. All of the avengers assisted in one way or another. Natasha (who used to be an assassin) was in the Red Room, trained in the Black Widow Program in association with Leviathan and the Soviet Armed Forces, served for KGB, etc. Bruce Banner used to work for the United States government and was commissioned to create a super serum for them. Same goes with the rest, Sam, Clint, etc. Steve Rogers was a soldier lmaoooooooooooooo like, what happened to Tony with Obadiah happened to Steve with SHIELD/HYDRA in TWS. He trusted the people working in there (SHIELD), served for them, did missions for them and as soon as he found out what they were doing behind his back he turned against them. 

Knowing all of this, how is Tony always the villain for yall? I’m guessing because Tony’s popularity in the MCU, but still, aren’t yall tired of not understanding the plot and having people repeat it to you constantly? Watch the movies if you want to understand the franchise, people. Stop following the crowd. 

Also, Wanda is not a kid, she’s a 35 year old woman in Wandavision, she was 26 in AOU and 27 in CW. Hardly a child. Tony had almost her same age (38) when he realized Obadiah was selling illegal weaponry behind his back. The only reason people don’t fully forgive Tony is because 1. he’s a man and 2. he’s a billionaire. Even if Wanda was poor she still killed and hurt many people over the course of her life. Stop trying to make Tony the villain only to downplay Wanda’s actions. 

Both have killed people, both have made mistakes. They’re both responsible for them. 

[pixeldolly]

Walden BACC #643

Roman: “You’re a witch!”

Fiona: “I’m sure you didn’t mean for that to come out sounding like an accusation, Roman.”

It was as if the temperature had suddenly dropped several degrees; it wasn’t just chilly, it was glacial. Roman was very afraid, but the anger which bubbled inside him as hotly as whatever was inside that cauldron spurred him on.

Roman: “And you didn’t think to mention this before I moved in?!”

Fiona really didn’t like his tone. She’d become too used to the way things were in Owl Creek, that was the problem. She’d forgotten that in other parts of the world, there were intolerant jackasses who couldn’t stand that others were different from them. If she’d known Roman was some kind of magic-hater, she would’ve sent him packing with a nasty hex to remember her by. 

Well, it was not too late.

Fiona: “I didn’t see how it was anybody’s business, whether I practised magic or not. I figured, if anyone did have a problem with it, then it was on them, and they could just find another place to live.”

Fiona didn’t stop to think what she’d do about the rent if Roman left. She’d figure out something later, this was not something she was prepared to compromise on. 

Fiona: “Do we understand one another?”

Roman muttered something that sounded like assent and went to take refuge in his room. His mind was reeling - a witch! Of all the things she could’ve been, she had to be a witch! 

He had considered moving out then and there, but part of the agreement had been giving Fiona an advance on that month’s rent and he couldn’t bring himself to ask her for his money back.

He almost felt like crying; it seemed that no matter where he went, he couldn’t get away from them! 

At the same time, Evelyn had helped him, even though he’d treated her badly. A werewolf, and she had helped him, when she had every reason to look the other way. Roman punched the headboard, hard enough to skin his knuckles. Nothing made sense anymore! His head was such a mess!

Maybe...he had to move on. Just because his mother was a monster, it didn’t mean that all witches were the same, or that all supernaturals saw humans as pawns in their schemes. 

Trust didn’t come easily, though. His father had trusted, and ended up hanging himself in the garage when Roman was seventeen.

[guacam011y]

***SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 5 OF WANDAVISION***

HOLY SHITE MY MIND IS BLOWN

TOMMY AND BILLY CRYING

“Do you want me to take that again?” “Take it from the top?”

Agnes knows ! Tiger - Ralph

“Dark liquor” Vision being concerned

Billy and Tommy aged up?!

I DO NOT TRUST HAYWARD

SCARLET WITCH - TALKING ABOUT HOW WANDA DOESN’T HAVE A CODENAME

SIS STRAIGHT UP TOOK VISIONS CORPSE

HEX — HER POWERS GET REFERRED TO AS HEX POWERS SOMETIMES IN THE COMICS

CAPTAIN MARVEL REFERENCE

NORM SAYING NONE OF IT IS REAL

SPARKY THE DOG - VISION HAD A STAND ALONE AND STOLE A DOG

HER ACCENT

LAGOS

SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW ANY OF THIS STARTED IN THE FIRST PLACE

EVAN PETERS AS QUICKSILVER

DARCY GOING “SHE RECAST PIETRO?” MOOOD

X-MEN, START TO THE MULTIVERSE?!

WANDA CAN’T BE THE ONLY ONE CONTROLLING IT

IS MONICA MAD AT CAROL???

MONICA X DARCY?! WHAT A POWER COUPLE THAT WOULD BE

SIS REALLY ENDGAME - ENDGAME ENDED WITH TONY’S FUNERAL AND WANDA PROBS WENT STRAIGHT FROM THERE AND STOLE HER DEAD BF’S CORPSE (can’t really blame her, it looked like they were trying to experiment on Vis and could it be Hayward behind it?)

WHO WAS THAT ENGINEER THAT MONICA WAS GOING TO CONTACT?

BABY VISION

AND AGNES DEFINITELY KNOWS SOMETHING

DARCY FINALLY GOT HER COFFEE

SO VIS SAID THAT WANDA COULD’VE MADE EVERYTHING SUBCONSCIOUSLY AND THAT OVER TIME SHE BECAME AWARE OF IT, AND SIS DEFO HAS SOME CONTROL BUT IT’S NOT ALL HER. I THINK AGNES IS AGATHA HARKNESS AND EITHER MEPHISTO IS BEHIND IT OR IT’S NIGHTMARE AND THEY’VE MAYBE POWERED UP NIGHTMARE

***FURTHER UPDATES AND EASTER EGGS***

Auntie Agnes and Agnes saying she has a few tricks up her sleeve - we should definitely take note of that seeing as Agnes definitely has something to do with the whole situation

Wanda and Vision’s house changed again, being inspired by Family Ties, possibly Full House and Growing Pains

“Do you want me to take it from the top?” It seems as though when someone, this time Vision, steers away from the script, things either reset themselves or people become aware to some capacity, although Agnes probably already knows

Speaking of Growing Pains - It had a spin off called “Just the 10 of Us” in which the director for Wandavision, Matt Shakman, was apart of the cast - and seemingly also inspired the theme song for this week

We should definitely keep an eye on Monica and her potential for powers. With Maria last episode revealed to have gone by the name ‘Photon’ (which is a name that Monica uses as one of her aliases in the comics) and could inspire Monica’s name as she develops her powers - those scans didn’t look 100% normal. Monica has also used the Captain Marvel monicker in the comics

Wanda’s energy field and such being referred to as “Hex” short for Hexagon, could be a little nod to the comics where Wanda’s powers are sometimes called Hex powers

She’s never been referred to as the Scarlet Witch on the big screen - and it seems as though she soon may earn that code name

So we now know that Wanda stole Vision’s corpse from S.W.O.R.D, but did she actually re animate him fully? He’s still got the gem in the centre of his forehead, but the last time he had it was in Infinity War where it promptly got ripped out by Thanos - so has Wanda found her own way of reanimating him and he’s alive or is he dead and just a trick of the mind - though from other trailers/previews, Vis is seen trying to and looks successful at leaving Wanda’s barrier

They had a little call back to Captain America: Civil War with the Sokovia Accords, which were targeting the Avengers in general but were created when Wanda lost control of her powers and killed civilians

A little joke towards Vis as playing “Father Knows Best” in their little suburbia - Which was a sitcom that ran for 200 episodes in the 50’s

Sparky ! A little nod to the little green dog from the Walta and King comics run for Vision and unfortunately soon meets the same fate 💔

A little nod to Endgame when we hear from Monica that Wanda definitely could’ve taken down Thanos by herself had Thanos not rained fire - and Jimmy arguing that Captain Marvel could’ve just as easily done it - which leaves Monica with an angry look on her face

Good ol’ dial up internet

Can Vis “save” the residents of Westview? He can still seemingly interact with people’s minds, with or without the mind stone - Norm soon comes out of his trance as Vis snaps him out of it and asks to call his sister and that he has to save them all from “her” - now this “her” could be Wanda...but it could also be Agnes and then Vis shuts him down soon enough again and Norm goes back to his sit com self

Billy and Tommy are fully aware, or at least suspect Wanda’s abilities - after asking her to bring back Sparky from the dead and speaking of Billy and Tommy - could they be semi permanent fixtures in the MCU, it would help to introduce the Young Avengers eventually. They'll do Young Avengers at some point since Kang is supposed to be a thing in the third Ant-Man.

Teddy, unfortunately, I don't think will be here for a bit (I really hope he is though!). I think the guy they hired that everyone is rumoring to be Teddy might just be an episode about Billy coming to terms with his sexuality and Wanda and Vis learning to accept it in the way that era of tv they're in would go about with that kind of episode and the dude is just a dude - but again, I really hope it’s Teddy 😭

Wanda leaves the hex after a mini missile/plane tries to shoot at her - and she’s in her Scarlet Witch costume and is seemingly mostly back to her “normal self”, which includes her accent !

Lagos brand paper towels - “For when you make a mess you didn’t mean to” - a nod to Civil War again in which Wanda accidentally blew up a building in Lagos and caused the Sokovian accords to come to fruition

The mail man again - I also think he was in the commercial but anywho - “Your mom won’t let him go far” similar to “Much like she won’t let anyone leave” a potential nod to Wanda or Agnes not letting anyone leave?

“We can’t reverse death” and yet she brought Vision back - keeping in mind that he’s an android but still a little foreshadow to what happened at the end of the ep? Better yet, could Pietro coming back be a distraction for Wanda? Agnes or whoever introducing someone that Wanda lives in hopes that she won’t go full on breakdown superpowers or just to give her an attachment to Westview even more and make her not want to leave at all

“She recasted Pietro” EVAN ! I’m so pumped for this - it seems this could turn into the X-Men making their debut earlier than expected possibly? In any case, it’s a nice little Easter Egg to the previous Fox franchise of X-Men movies where Evan played Peter Maximoff “Quicksilver” alongside James McAvoy as Prof X, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine and so many others - and with Deadpool being confirmed as Disney’s first R rated film, it seems Mutants are definitely on their way to the MCU

Agnes is definitely Agatha or a gender bent Nightmare

The way Billy shed himself and Tommy up was scary - definitely a little nod to his powers coming in

Multiple different perspectives of Wanda saying that Monica left

Red Hex dialled up to around light sources (computer, window, etc.)

Vision mentions reading Charles Darwin’s The Descent of Man - which could refer to Mutants entering the MCU, Mutants being superior to humans

Agnes calls herself Auntie Agnes - in episode 2 during the title sequence in the grocery store there’s a product called ‘Auntie A’s Kitty Litter’

Agnes refers to herself as a Tiger and in the episode, there’s a Tiger on the dining table in the kitchen - could that be a listening device, her eyes and ears?

There are no other children in Westview - Billy and Tommy are immune because they have no prior trauma

Elizabeth Olsen’s photos are real and slightly altered with Sokovian flags in the background

In the birthday shot of Billy and Tommy, they have ‘1,2,3,4,5’ candles all on one cake

In the holiday photos, Vision goes from Turkey to Easter Bunny, to Santa and progressively gets more unhappy - realising he no longer wants to play along in Wanda’s Hex

During Monica’s callbacks to seeing Wanda’s pain inside her head, we see a new shot of Wanda crying - it looks like it’s around the time she stole Vision’s corpse, as the outfit she’s wearing is very similar, if not the same - could this be an after shot of when she’s trying to bring Vision back?

During the scene where we see the footage of Wanda stealing Vision’s corpse, the S.W.O.R.D logo that appears on the table has 8 stars around the rim of the logo but then has a 9th one in the middle - could this be a little Easter Egg to the nine realms of the Cosmos? And there’s also a map showing Cape Canaveral, could that be where S.W.O.R.D’s headquarters are?

Wanda and Pietro were born in 1989 to Irina and Oleg Maximoff - who were killed in an air raid when the twins were 10. In the comics, Wanda and Pietro were raised by Django and Maria Maximoff, before their true parentage was revealed as being the children of Magneto, however, in the comics this has been retconned so that Wanda and Pietro are no longer Mutants and the High Evolutionary had just disguised them as Mutants (something I think they should undo tbh - MARVEL, PLEASE MAKE WANDA AND PIETRO MUTANTS AGAIN!!!)

Speaking of the air raid, that was also referenced in Age of Ultron by Pietro and Wanda - “We were 10 years old, having dinner the four of us. And the first shell hits 2 floors below, makes a hole in the floor” - was the beeping Stark toaster be what that was referring to?

WHIH reappears for a brief cameo as the news service in the MCU - and Hayward cuts off Jimmy as he was trying to defend Wanda’s reputation, in which Jimmy then turns to Darcy and says “I try not to speak ill of people” Darcy then follows up with “Then allow me, Hayward’s a-“ and then she’s cut off by a shot back to Hayward saying the word “Terrorist” which would make sense as it seems with Vision’s corpse, he may have been trying to make sentient weapons and by subverting Vision’s will and blaming Wanda of doing the same. In the footage shown of Wanda stealing Vision’s remains, we see Vision broken up into parts and S.W.O.R.D seems to be experimenting on him and this seems to be the robotics/nanotech project that Hayward was referring to. Monica asks Hayward about the footage saying “When was this?” to which Hayward replies saying “9 days ago. Maximoff stormed our facility, stole Vision’s body and resurrected him” - this would mean that Wanda took Vision 2 weeks after the events of Endgame, about a week before Monica returned to S.W.O.R.D and Hayward didn’t tell her any of this and when he sent her in there, he knew exactly what he was doing - with her reputation after Civil War, this makes it easier for Hayward to paint her as the villain.

Back in Westview, Tommy wears red and Billy wears green - which are the colours that Wiccan and Speed wear in the comics, respectively. And it’s also the colours that Wanda and Vision are known for and appears quite a lot in their wardrobes

More in regards to Sparky, he was the synthezoid dog in Tom King’s run of Vision - the story being that he was originally a dog named Zeke who unfortunately passed away after digging up the Grim Reaper’s corpse and getting zapped. The Grim Reaper’s helmet appears during the title sequence of Episode 2 in the floorboards. Could Sparky have been trying to dig up a similar thing when he was caught by Agnes and consequently killed?

Monica mentions that she knows this aerospace engineer, they’re never shown but she is seen texting them. Could it be Reed Richards a.k.a Mr Fantastic? Hayward did mention that some astronauts used to work for S.W.O.R.D before a mission went haywire - though it seems a bit lacklustre to introduce such highly anticipated characters this way. Could it instead be the Skrull daughter of Talos that Monica befriended at the end of Captain Marvel? She mentioned that they had extraterrestrial allies in episode 4 working with her and Fury as apart of S.W.O.R.D - in the Spanish subtitles they use the feminine articles for this engineer - so I think it’s more likely to be Talos’s daughter

The board that we saw in Episode 4 now includes the mailman, drivers license and all - could he be Jimmy’s missing witness?

The tension in the room after Jimmy references Carol is similarly seen when in Spider-Man: Far From Home, where Peter asks Skrull Fury/Talos “How about Captain Marvel?” To which Talos replies “Don’t involve her name”. Fury, Monica and Talos were all on the side of the Skrulls by then end of Captain Marvel and the space station that Fury was on maybe apart of S.W.O.R.D. So did Carol betray them?

A slight reference to Captain America: The First Avenger is made when Monica pulls a Peggy Carter and shoots at something to see if it’s bulletproof, in Peggy’s case it was the iconic Captain America shield and in the case of Monica, it was her clothes that she was wearing after Wanda threw her out of the Hex

Abilash (Norm) never states that Wanda is the one that Vision has to save them from, it’s just “her” - could this instead be Agnes?

When Billy is training Sparky to sit, he puts the treat by his ear up to his temple - a future reference that Billy will one day share the same powers as his mum?

During the scene in which Wanda leaves the Hex briefly, she turns the guns onto Hayward but none are trained on Monica - she may still trust Monica slightly, whereas with Hayward, she slightly more pissed off because of what he was doing to Vision’s remains. And turning a bunch of guns on the people you don’t trust? Like father, like daughter as Magneto pulls a similar move in one of the X-Men films - Hopefully, the big cameo they keep teasing will be Ian McKellan as Magneto or the Magnus of this House of M adaptation

During when Agnes “found” Sparky, she says he died from eating too many leaves from her plants - in the Tom King Vision run, one of Vision’s kids ends up killing Sparky and sees inside his stomach that there’s a plant that Agatha Harkness grows in her garden

All the names that appear during the credits that Wanda tries to run to end the show and to stop Vision from talking are names of people who work on the actual Wandavision show itself

When Evan Peter’s version of Quicksilver shows up, he says “Does a long lost bro get to squeeze his sister to death or what?” I DO NOT TRUST THIS PIETRO - Similar to Wandavision, the Fox X-Men movies moved up decade by decade - First Class was in the 1960s, Days of Future Past was in the 1970s, Apocalypse was in the 1980s and Dark Phoenix was in the 1990’s - which would make even more sense as MCU! Pietro wasn’t born until 1989, whereas Peter was active during the 1980s. I reckon that this Pietro is Jimmy’s missing witness, Agnes’s husband Ralph and is disguising itself as a comforting presence to Wanda as Vision no longer brings comfort and is trying to bring Wanda back to reality - and when he shows up, the mirror in the background behind Wanda is slightly distorted but his hand looks red and in the shot as well, there seems to be a grey arm reaching towards Pietro - in the shot itself behind and in front of Wanda, there’s nothing there but in the mirror, there is! Either way, I do not trust this Pietro and it’s just an entity trying to give Wanda the last thing that could make her happy - but it won’t last, as everything is already breaking down around her.

I seriously seriously love this show so much 💙

[melonsmessymusings]

Just seen a post about S6&S3 parallels and @rachaeljurassic made some super interesting points in the tags about Giles’ departure and how INFURIATING it is that I really want to expand upon, so I guess this one’s for you :) I get it, the mentor figure needs to be gotten out of the way in order to progress Buffy’s own arc, that’s fine. It narratively makes complete sense, but it was handled badly.

@rachaeljurassic suggested that maybe we could’ve gotten him out of the way with a coma. I vibe with that. Let’s have the head injuries catch up to him and have him totally incapacitated. Big battle, dire injuries, that works. We could still have Buffy spiralling after, but this time she’d be blaming herself because Giles got hurt as a result of her being the Slayer (even though he’d never blame her for it and it isn’t her fault except for like twice). That also works better because it would be more in character than having Giles go “I know you can’t even breathe right now but I’m gonna flake because you need to be a grown up. Even though when I was your age I was raising demons, doing dr*gs and having orgies so like lmao.” Plus, have a couple of gratuitous scenes of a very injured Giles being visited by someone to pepper throughout the season that were pre-recorded so we don’t get confused as to why they wouldn’t be sat there with him at least every now and then to make us cry. Imagine a scene with Buffy in a hospital room watching a ventilator force air into her Watcher to keep him alive and pouring her heart out because she’s terrified with no idea what to do and he always knew and she needs him and just cries. You could even have it where he’s like slowly deteriorating or something and Dark!Willow uses her magic to cure him so that would explain how he just got better and was like... fine.  

I also love the idea of him having a total breakdown after Buffy’s death. I absolutely thrive off him becoming a completely numb droid (he probably was and only bothered to put on façade for the Scoobies but that’s for another day) and the Scoobies decided it’d be better for him to try and find a new purpose in life by sending him to England. We could’ve had like the first episode of them helping him settle with the Coven or something and it’d have been AWFUL to watch, but it would make sense and then when Buffy gets resurrected, they just don’t tell him and they tell Buffy that the grief killed him or something like that? idk... or having them explain that Giles isn’t Giles anymore and he’s doing better (because Tara gets updates from the Coven) but being in Sunnydale was killing him and they never told him that Buffy was resurrected. That wedges the group dynamic enough tbh and would cause Buffy to turn to Spike because he’d have had no clue about anything except that Giles had gone off the bloody rails big time and it was good he was away from this hellhole. 

Family emergency? Let’s be honest, the Giles family are probably scum so I’d buy that way less but it’s still more convincing than what actually happened. 

Another suggestion was having the Council snatch him. I also adore this. That would make sense. But let’s have them make it look like they killed him because I love that. So they send in a team, take him away but make it look like he’s been completely murdered. 

My idea is that they put a glamour or something on a vampire to make it look like Giles (but the audience don’t know this yet) and so Buffy drops by and finds a body that is in every way identical to Giles in a destroyed apartment and just breaks and is like clutching at him or something and there’s blood and its horrendous. Then you could either have swoopy Council guys come in and take Giles away when he ‘wakes up’ as a vampire because “there’s a procedure to this Miss Summers” or have her stake him herself then and there because after Angelus she’s taking no chances. Could you imagine the emotional payoff of that? She then has to go and tell the others, who don’t believe her but they all see the apartment, bloodstains and pile of dust and they all have to cope with the grief of losing him throughout the season in addition to everything else.

But wait! There’s more. Travers ends the episode with a folder in front of him, a report from the team that carried out the operation and smiles saying something evil like “I warned her of dealing with grown ups” so the audience all thinks that Giles got offed by the Council. 

BUT REALLY Giles was taken and held in a like prison facility thing, very much alive. Then we get like a showdown of Giles chained to a chair in this cell being forced to watch the video footage of the whole operation and Travers telling him that it’s over and his oh so precious Slayer will end up killing herself with guilt/grief and the Council can have a new start because they’re going to off Faith too. And the last shot is Giles crying in a dank hole.

As far as the audience goes: imagine having Giles showing up at the end of S6 if THAT had been the departure? It’s already an “AAAAAHHHHHH HOLY SHIT!” moment but it’d be magnified tenfold. Then Buffy being completely confused because “I killed you!” then having that moment when she ends up hugging him and he’s warm and breathing and not dead. And Dark!Willow being really confused but trying to kill him anyway because if he was alive all this time why didn’t he come back? That’s when we get the scene with Giles watching what happened on the monitor. Everyone is confused and Giles explains that the Council kept him in one of their facilities and now Buffy feels sick because she’s like “they tortured you... for months!” and Giles is like “Well yeah but it’s fine because I’m here now and I’m so sorry for abandoning you all.” Still can have Evil Willow being evil and Xander saving the day. I don’t care that much but we could’ve had this worked in.

Because the Council would’ve tortured him for fun. Not necessarily physically but they would’ve paraded him around as the example of what happens if you don’t toe the line. They could’ve completely humiliated him and it caused like cracks in the Council because some of them hate that Travers is abusing his power like this on one of their own and others finding it good that such a strong message is being sent. At which point, Travers would give the order for the Special Ops team to start the beatings. Of course, Giles is used to having the seven bells kicked out of him, but to be used as a training dummy by other human beings? They’d practice on him and that’s as far as I think the physical side of it would go, the rest would be mental/emotional torture. Or having hexes/curses tested on him and all the while, Giles genuinely wants them to kill him because everyone he cares about already thinks he’s dead so it makes no difference if it’s the reality. All the while, he’s being kept vaguely up to date with the events of Sunnydale so that he can hear how his Slayer is edging closer into just giving up and it breaks his heart. So Giles spent a year either being locked in a cell translating texts or being used as a punchbag to teach the S.O. team how to interrogate people. That’s how I see it going anyway. We could’ve seen like flashbacks of parts of it in S7 or something idk.

That would explain why he’s so distant in S7. Because he was kept prisoner for almost a year by the people who practically raised him (because the Council kind of did) and how that would mess anyone up and the First tormenting him about how he should’ve gone through with any attempts to end it instead of being a coward because Buffy doesn’t need him and she already thought he was dead. 

I dunno if this is actually what you were going for but it’s where my mind went and it would’ve given Tony Head something really juicy to do by playing a slightly crazed version of Giles who freaks out if there’s more than five people in the room because a year of living on your own in the dark drove him mad. He would’ve completely nailed it. Way better than sitting there going, “I’m headed back to England, and I plan to stay indefinitely”. Ugh we were robbed.

[crit-fail-every-time]

Okay so here's my thoughts/ideas on s2e4 Keeping Up With A-Fear-Ances of the Owl House (go watch it if you haven’t, also major spoilers y’all!) I’ll be documenting my thoughts on s2 as best I can, for as many episodes as I can (as all of them so far have had lots of plot twists revealed), but don’t think they’re gonna be in order hahaha- So here’s my theories on the Creepy Luz (tm) at the end of the episode This is either a fancy Abomination, an illusion spell, or a mix of both. My theory is somehow whoever's doing this is using BOTH, because "sentient" illusions (people, animals, etc.) need constant focus to maintain (as shown by Gus always having to focus when making mini-Guses during the show, but the Blight twins not needing to focus when they make the "Hex Me" signs appear) but Abominations DONT need that focus to maintain, just to command. Aboms are like robots, once created they just need commands to function the coding it was given. So someone made an Abomination, and turned that semi-sentient thing into Luz using an Illusion spell. Another theory on this is that someone was sent by A) Eda, Amity, someone who's Luz's close ally as of Grom night (this night at least b/c of the Luz-doppelganger's first appearance here) or B) someone working for Belos/Emporer's Coven/the Golden Guard and cast an Illusion spell on themselves for one reason or another. Either way it would be to keep Luz's mom "safe" from the info of the demon realm so Luz won't get into trouble once she's actually home, or to keep her mom away from the demon realm so she doesn't try to rescue Luz/the Boiling Isles from Belos. If it was the first thing (abom/illusion mix) then it'd either be someone in the Emporer's Coven, or a Wild Witch that has to control that, since they're the only people with access to both Abomination and Illusion magic. I doubt it's going to be a Wild Witch, as if it were Eda or Lilith they would've told Luz I think. (I think it's either the Golden Guard, Kikimora, or maybe Azura?? honestly Azura wouldn't be too far off now that I think about it. Placing bets on Azura doing the shenanigans here to protect Luz) If it were someone going to the human realm themselves, it'd have to be someone with a portal, right? So either they, or someone associated with them, got strong-*ss magic to make the portal they need (this might be where these mysterious portals are coming from in the first place??), they got sent through by the Titan itself, or they got through before the portal door Eda had was "destroyed". (They also could've gotten the stuff Mrs Clawthorne was talking about and used that) So here's my theory on what Dana has in store for us. I think it's Azura that is acting as Luz in the human realm. I know, I know, Azura's a book character, but with how much she's used/referenced within the show I think she's actually a real witch. Sort of a Daring-Do from MLP:FiM situation. PLUS (as far as I know) we have never actually seen Azura's eartips, meaning she could be a witch or human! Another curveball idea I have is Hooty. I feel like Hooty's gonna turn out a heckin LOT more powerful than we first thought (I'm lookin at you, Hooty's Moving Hassle) and is gonna play a really big role in the future (maybe in season 3 or the end of season 2) instead of just being comic relief. Sorry this was so out of wack and all over the place! I tend to ramble when I get really excited, so everything's mostly just jumbled up in a mess but I tried my best to organize it into paragraphs

[wandaposting]

wandavision: the criticisms post

tl;dr: i liked the show, but there were aspects that were annoying and dumbfounding to me and here’s the post that covers That ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

this was gonna be my comprehensive wandavision review post that had both cons and pros, but the cons kind of ran away from me lsdfjs SO YOU’RE GETTING THIS FIRST. if you find my views diverging from yours in either direction, you’re valid, please don’t shiv me. this is just how i Feel in a somewhat shitposty (as per usual) format. 😔

the big con list:

the way wanda’s actual villainy gets brushed away by the narrative: or specifically the way wanda strolls past the people she mentally tortured and traumatized for a week to apologize to monica, who then goes “gg girl i would’ve done the same :)” and then wanda leaves that entire mess—that she caused—behind her and bails lol. that scene is a microcosm of my problems with this show’s attempt at portraying what the creators have described as her ““complexity””. they want us to feel sorry for her, but not in the way that we can sympathize with walter white while still acknowledging he’s broken bad. rather, this show seemed to want to paint her as more of a victim than the people she victimized. they still want her to come out looking heroic and triumphant and rewarded from her journey with new powers, a new superhero outfit, a new superhero moniker. and that falls flat when you realize she’s basically been a self-absorbed asshole throughout the course of this show. she was confronted no less than four times, and told point blank that a few thousand people were suffering under her control. that is not something we can excuse with depression and denial. that means that at multiple times she is making at least the subconscious choice that her happiness matters more than the wellbeing of her meat puppets, which includes children, across the span of a week. i don’t see monica rambeau “doing the same thing.” the fact that they made her say it while the townspeople glared on in miserable silence just rubbed me the wrong way. if they really wanted to make her responsible for westview, while also wanting her to come out looking remotely good, they needed to invest in a much more substantial redemption arc for her than “i didn’t mean to, gonna go self-exile now.” or even holding everything else constant, they could’ve delivered a more nuanced take where westview was in dire straits before her arrival. the westview she initially drove through already looked economically depressed, so i don’t know why they didn’t just follow through with this. but they could’ve made it so that by granting herself happiness and prosperity, she could’ve spread that genuinely throughout the citizens. instead of hex vision waking norm up in horror, you could’ve had him begging to be put back under. that way, her decision to accept and face reality head on could also be reflected by the people of westview. where everyone, perhaps aided through wanda’s mind link, decides they shouldn’t let fantasy consume themselves at the expense of improving their actual reality. there’s still moral ambiguity, there’s still mistakes being made, we can still side-eye wanda for doing the equivalent of drugging people, but at least these npc’s would've gained something from wanda blundering into their lives. but no she made 3 thousand people suffer through the literal plot of Get Out, giving them life-long ptsd and trauma with nothing good, and i think that’s bad. if she has more haters after this series, i can’t even blame them. but apparently she has a shit-ton more fans after this series, so... OH WELL, IT IS WHAT IT IS sdkfjkls

TYLER: which brings me to the thought that, if this show had hayward acting like a three dimensional human person with the bare minimum intellect required to run SWORD ... instead of an incompetent jackass scooby doo villain ... a lot of us would be spamming #HaywardWasRight. tyler hayward might legitimately be the worst villain mcu has ever produced, like edging past malekith. is he supposed to be an analogue to real world tr*mp appointed deputies? unlike agatha, he’s not even entertaining to watch. he’s the ted cruz of the mcu, which is bizarre when he was introduced as the strict but not particularly vexing or unreasonable successor to maria rambeau in episode 4. it ended up feeling extremely contrived how the show attempted to aggressively signal us with “hayward bad” and “wanda good, actually” through the lens of monica, darcy, and jimmy. it’s like they had to make hayward come across as Extremely Dumb in order to make wanda come across as the more sympathetic party, when she was the one doing [gestures vaguely at wall of text above].

and SPEAKING of agatha: she also ended up being the exact kind of simplified reductive cackling “gimme ur powers wanda” evil super witch that i didn’t want her to be. that’s all.

the theorybaiting: i didn’t care about the lack of mutants/doctor strange cameo (lol what happened, charles murphy)/multiverse/blue marvel/reed richards/mephisto/nightmare/chthon (altho we did get the darkhold wink wonk) so much that it ruined my experience. ralph bohner was disappointing, but i got over it. my issue here is more that they deliberately baited a more interesting story than they delivered, and i think they shot themselves in the foot with that. the first 7, even 8 episodes had set up this atmosphere of mystery and intrigue, only for them to wrap up all these questions with the most boring, uninspired answers possible. question: what does hayward want and what is he up to? answer: hayward is simply a stupid dingus. question: who is agatha harkness and what is she up to? answer: an evil witch who just wants to steal yo powers. question: who is fietro? answer: lol boner. question: was it wanda all along? answer: yes, but no it was actually agatha, but actually yes, but she didn’t mean to and is kind of sorry and now she’s gonna fly away so have fun with your ptsd, westview. ????????? yeah they could have ... done some of that better.

the pacing in the end: i remember when they said it was gonna be “around 6 hours,” and we got 4 and a half hours of actual content instead... they should have given us that extra 1 and a half hour to flesh out the finale. the sitcom portion was fun, it feels like the sitcom portion was prioritized in the writing room, and that the overarching narrative beyond the sitcom suffered to accommodate it. when it came time to break away from the format, they stumbled. so in the beginning, there were segments that felt authentic to the era but were fairly critiqued as “dragging on” ... and in the final episode, we had... the final episode. monica and wanda’s ending conversation felt unsatisfying, both wanda’s apology and monica’s acceptance of it rang particularly hollow [also gestures vaguely to wall of text above]. the appearance of white vision should have had much more of an impact on ... everyone, especially wanda. except the dude just dips and no one mentions him ever again. i feel like hex vision being revealed as the the vision that had always been ~part of her should have also had more ... fleshing out. darcy and jimmy basically ended up having no arcs in this show. they served as stand-ins for the audience, and because they were written to feel sorry for wanda (in a situation where she was absolutely deserving of more scrutiny), the audience too gets manipulated toward doing so.

there’s probably more to add but i’m running out of brain juice BUT THOSE WERE THE BIG ONES STORY-WISE

[jilyesplz]

🌟 pls share!! dying to hear what you want to talk about from the new chapter!

Sorry this took so long! Okay, so one of my fav things Jules did was the way characters repeat each others' and their own lines throughout the story (maybe accidentally? But I choose to always give Jules credit, plus if college english classes taught me anything it's ignore author intent :).

It happens really explicitly to show how similar Lily and James are w/ "I'll apologize if you do" and "self-righteous/self-centered is my defining characteristic" and the way they're both always saying "You're/I'm such an idiot" and sometimes it's comedic like strangling Dung but it's also sprinkled more subtly throughout, both to show how similar they are and how well they know each other ("normal human being," "they're seventeen," etc)

It also happens w Mar/Adam + Lil/James: There's that convo wayyyy at the beginning where James and Adam both jab at each other and then ask "what's that supposed to mean"/"oh nothing" and it's v clear they both know they're talking about Lil and Mar. James and Adam both say "I didn't realize..." to Lily and Mar right after they come back to school with gfs for 7th year, and both Lil and Mar think they've figured out the girls' feelings, but they haven't...After Pev Hall, both muggleborn girls have an "I'm so, so sorry" moment talking to their designated pureblood boy.....etc.

(One more personal fav: When L friend-dumps J in chapter 9, before she admits that it's about Snape, he asks "Did I do something wrong?" and...it physically hurts. Like my stomach drops every time I read it, and there's just so much pain there, I....God, I just wanna hug him and tell him everything will be okay and they're gonna have world-saving sex someday. Anyway, then in Chapter 30, Car stops in the middle of a make-out to be jealous of Shelley, and he asks "Did I do something wrong?" and it's the same question but the difference in tone just IS the difference in their relationships. Guh. Anyway I'm fine I'm fine everything's fine)

There's I think only one easter egg of parallel quotes in Chapter 1 of P&E, but in chapter 2 I tried to build it in throughout. Highlights I can remember (excluding the obvious nice shirt/nice hat and the Padfoot/Prongs best mate speech)...

In the dormitory w James and Adam at the very beginning, we get:

"They're Hufflepuff; we're Gryffindor," James cut him off, rolling his eyes. "If Weatherby scores an own goal, people will chalk it up to good sportsmanship. What do you need?"

And then when James and Lily are babbling about what Sirius could have blown up (I really had fun giving them a That-couple-that-talks-to-their-friends-like-they-are-only-people-in-conversation-wtf moment):

Lily rolled her eyes. "They're Hufflepuff. We're Gryffindor. If anything, he should set our tower on fire in the name of good sportsmanship."

James's bag slipped off his shoulder.

Other than that most of the Easter eggs are Lil quoting TLAT!James because she's just in this chapter more. Talking about the rebound fuck...

"It's not a sex thing, Padfoot! It's a metaphor, damn it." (James in Chapter 28)

Talking to Reg about the hangover...

"I should've listened to James Potter," he mumbled as he stirred. "He always reminds me to drink water."

Lily swallowed.

"That's nice of him," she said truthfully. (James in 29)

And about Gobletstones...

"Don't worry," Lily said. "It's not a question of skill. Like everything else at the Toadies, the games are just an excuse to drink too much." (James in 19)

During Remus's intervention...

Lily blushed and made a face. "You don't get to make fun of me, Moony! I'm still angry with you." (James in 34)

And bonus, not a quote but my fav parallel in this chapter is Lily throwing Mulciber's wand, because James does that to Snape in 14 and it's such a ~moment~ and also a sign of growth! Bc he could've hexed him but he didn't :)

Most of these aren't very big deals, and it's fine if no one notices them, but I like them for the little ways they reflect similarities—both of their temper, self-awareness, inability to give each other a damn compliment...etc. They also help me simulate Jules's style, because if a parallel line feels out of place, it's a clue I've fallen out of the dialogue cadence I need to be in.

[tomboyjessie13-artblog]

This is loosely inspired by my RPs with li43101 I've spent an entire sleepless week slaving away at this drawing, mostly due to distractions, oversleeping, and putting all of these ridiculous details on Zant.

...like seriously, he's practically the hardest to draw and color because of it, but I'm finally done. Anyways, this drawing was inspired by a Zelda video: "What If ZANT And GHIRAHIM Ended Up In A Battle?" by Dr. Wily. 

SPOILER ALERT: Ghirahim wins

As expected, this feels like a good RP/drawing scenario:

In the Twilight Realm during the modern era, Ghirahim and Zant got into a argument about who is the strongest swordsman and Ganondorf/Inia's muscle, so Ghirahim suggested a duel to confirm who is who in an honorable way, Zant agrees and they take it to the Palace of Twilight's courtyard in a few hours. Quickly word got out and most of the denizens of Twilight showed up to see the duel, Majora heard of what's happening from a one of their Moon Children* and prepared some snacks. Soon They and the Moon Children arrived to get a front row seat while also urging the Twilis to place their bets on who wins. And yes, Majora placed their bets on Ghirahim because they knew that someone as wild and unstable as Zant wouldn't stand a chance against a Demon Lord who is a master swordsman with indestructible armor like skin. Soon the duel starts, and as expected the Demon Lord completely destroys Zant on the field due to the aforementioned things above. While Ghirahim is giving autographs to the Twilis, Zant slinked to the corner where Majora is and had some of his his wounds treated and was given an orange-flavored Popsicle**, while Zant was devastated to learn that Majora placed their bet on Ghirahim, Majora gave him their reasons and told him that it was impossible to take the Demon Lord on no matter what you do, even Majora and all their apocalyptic glory couldn't stand up against him***. This made Zant even more saltier that he could've known that sooner instead of making himself look like an idiot in front of his people, Majora then said that he had to learn it the hard way because his of arrogance, then told him to shut up and eat his Popsicle. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * I headcanon that they would have the Moon Children acting as their eyes whenever Majora's too busy to mess with countries or worlds outside of Termina, and then report back to them when they find something juicy, that way they wouldn't have to just mess with Termina alone. ** I was having a hard time picking a blood color for the Twilis since we never see them bleed, but my sister Zelda4ever1987 suggested giving him purple-red blood since the Twilis used to be human, so it makes sense that they have some bits of human traits. *** Because Majora and Zant shared some similar battle strategies with each other(mainly being unpredictable and random on the battlefield), I'd imagine Ghirahim would've easily taken out Majora in minutes despite using every known hex and curse in the book, I doubt even dropping a humongous moon on him would work, especially since again he's has indestructible black skin. My version of Human!Majora belongs to me

[sepublic]

WandaVision Finale!

           Okay, that finale was AMAAAAAZING! Everything about it… Particularly, I love that with all of these references to American, black-and-white television shows, we got a bit straight out of what felt like The Twilight Zone! Let me tell you, when Dottie came up to Wanda and started begging to be with her daughter, bargaining, playing with the role and trying to appeal, even offering up her daughter for the antagonistic, demonized role of bully, just to be with her; That was INCREDIBLY messed-up and really shook me up, as did everyone else in that sequence! It was utterly wonderful, and really, the entire premise and set-up DOES seem like a Twilight Zone episode; Perhaps the final homage/allusion by this series?

           The Vision battle was great, some much-needed action and usage of Vision’s powers that we needed. I love how Vision manages to talk down the White counterpart with logic and existential thought… The philosophical, almost deconstructive way Vision deals with stuff and life isn’t cold, but rather appreciative, like someone taking apart a clock and marveling in how its put together; They don’t rage at the clock for no longer upholding the undefinable illusion it used to have… 

          And of course, the idea of ‘illusion’ I feel applies to Westview as well. The difference being that Westview’s mechanisms are inherently immoral, but the way Vision gets down to the basics and fundamentals of things in his almost wondrous, childlike curiosity- It’s great. He’s questioning everything, but in anticipation and acceptance of an answer, he does not view the world with cold disdain the way someone like Ultron would.

           The Theseus Ship paradox was a wonderful discussion, as was the suggested answer that either neither of them are the ship, or they both are! As is Vision’s constantly poetic talk of how the ship is more the experience and memories, so if they’re attached to either, then sure- They’re both the same! I love for a hypothetically cold android, this dude is so poetic and marveling at everything. He should be a writer, a poet… But that’s not happening anytime soon; But it doesn’t mean it won’t EVER happen, either! As Vision realized, they’ve said goodbye before, only to say hello again… I love his little way of looking through and exploring loopholes in apparent certainties, both at the end and with White Vision.

           Not gonna lie though, I half-expected/anticipated for White Vision to emerge with Ultron’s mind, once Vision reawakened those memories, and I have to wonder where he is. I was kind of hoping both Visions would merge together to complete a true one, given how both acknowledge that the other has something that they don’t. White Vision is still out and about though; And I like the clever usage of color, with blue representing the cold and mechanical Ultron side of him, and yellow being the Mind Stone, but most importantly Vision. And I LOVE the idea that Scarlet Witch has the last remainder of an Infinity Stone within her, preserved like her love for Vision; Some things you can’t truly eradicate, Thanos!

           That reference to the Darkhold from Agents of SHIELD was great, and I imagine it’ll come into play now that Wanda’s taken it from Agatha. How Agatha got it, I have to wonder; But that’s a story for another day, I presume. I guess she’s been brainwashed truly as Agnes and is doing her own thing in Westview, without anyone to realize she doesn’t quite belong; Or maybe they will? What a wonderfully poetic, vicious fate for her character- She faked it all, and now she gets to be real! The idea of playing a ‘part’ is just a fascinating motif in this show for me, and I’m sure there’s some philosophical stuff I could dredge up about that term, ‘stories’, from my Philosophy class.

           Wish we got some more resolution with Darcy, and Hayward kind of just left; But I do appreciate how we could’ve gotten a bit of an all-out brawl, with the SWORD agents targeting Agatha and how she alludes to the Salem Witch Trials! Also the allusion to the Sorcerer Supreme, AKA Doctor Strange, was great- And things are still complicated with how Wanda more maturely vouches to save those agents, even if they’re also against her… She knows that people’s dislike and hostility is pretty valid. It’ll be interesting how she’ll own up to the ‘role’ of Scarlet Witch now, as a lot of her vilification came from her own actions, admittedly. I imagine she’s going to try and it do it on her own terms, see what loopholes in the requirements she can exploit- Much like her husband Vision would! Also, Tommy and Billy having to dissipate when Vision at least understands and accepts IS messed up, so I can see why Wanda feels the need to rescue her children, who definitely don’t deserve this.

           I do have to wonder if that last scene is a hint that Wanda hasn’t fully moved on, or if she HAS, but of course Tommy and Billy don’t deserve to die just for her character development! Really that dilemma and sad ending was handled so well, I half-expected Wanda to isolate the Hex to just her house, or maybe focus all of the energy of the Hex into maintaining JUST Vision, Tommy, and Billy. Maybe she’s consulting her chapter in the Darkhold for info on that? Either way, I like how she’s prepared and kept all of her assets in place in case she ever needs them, such as Agatha, now Agnes! There’s a very spiteful and utilitarian way she handles herself now, reminiscent of a villain who keeps tabs on their friends and enemies; Wanda seems to be doing the typical steps of a villain, but hasn’t exactly committed to it; And maybe never will, again, it’ll be interesting how she exploits her role as Scarlet Witch. I love the callback to those runes, how a scene that could’ve been written off as magical world building foreshadowed and came back into play; Such a simple and obvious trick, but one I always fall for because I’m so invested and IN the world!

           Also, I think that lake Wanda lives by, might be the one where Sokovia’s remains landed? If so, then that’s incredibly fitting; A watery grave for her home and memories, huh? I wonder if Pietro, the real one, is buried here- It makes sense, Agatha alludes to Pietro not being buried in North America (nor South America if you want to get into technicalities), so of course their home country, or what’s left of it, is ideal! The site where he died, lowkey; Although that was arguably several miles above, but still. This third-world country that everyone dismissed and ignored has now had a major legacy that is felt across the world… It’s been heard, huh? I’m not sure why Wanda’s maintaining that illusion of herself, is she just practicing, maybe creating a front in case anyone notices activity, checks out, and then assumes it’s ‘just’ some random lady?

           I can only imagine how Doctor Strange will tie into this! Probably with the Nexus of All Realities and the Darkhold, and of course the Scarlet Witch’s role as a potential threat to the Sorcerer Supreme; And hopefully with what we’ve seen of Agatha making note of magic belonging to the ‘deserving’ and being able to take it from others… Baron Mordo, perhaps? Maybe he’ll make his return interrogating Agnes as he tries to track down the Scarlet Witch, seeing her as a threat… Dang, now Mordo’s reminding me of Emperor Belos from The Owl House, with the whole belief that after chaos and bloodshed, magic should instead be isolated to only the deserving who prove themselves, and whatnot! Now I’m even in MORE interested and hopeful for Mordo with this comparison!

           Likewise, the allusion to the Nexus in that commercial made me wonder if New Jersey would be the location for the Nexus of All Realities in the MCU, but now that Wanda’s left, it’s possible she’ll track down its location to Louisiana, just in the comics! Still hoping for Man-Thing in the MCU, maybe we’ll get a setup for him! I’m telling you Feige, this is your chance to make a Frankenstein/Iron Giant type of film, a misunderstood monster story to incorporate into the MCU, what with your exploration of new genres beginning particularly in Wandavision! Also iirc the Darkhold has a corrupting influence on those who read it… But the last people who did were regular humans, is Scarlet Witch above such things? Or will the Darkhold mess with her, too- An external force that disrupts her character development by corrupting her? I’m just in even more anticipation for Multiverse of Madness to be trippy and horrifying.

           Overall, what a WONDERFUL conclusion, and an incredibly satisfying finale to this series, while still paving the way for new stories! It seems Photon’s story has just begun, now that Nick Fury has sent a Skrull to invite her; Maybe for the Captain Marvel sequel? I’d assume the sequel deals with the fall of the Supreme Intelligence, which takes place before 2014; Nine years before Monica gets her powers! Something had to have happened to lead to the Kree’s peace treaties with everyone that angered Ronan…Well, we’ll see!

          And White Vision, we’ll see what happens with him, what existential crisis he’ll get into, poor dude; He’s arguably the original Vision, except traumatized and questioning himself! I’m surprised Wanda didn’t go after him, did she assume he was destroyed? Or has she just moved on, focusing on her sons? We’ll have to see… Vision did allude to him reuniting with Wanda, so perhaps Wanda can use her powers to gather the Mind Stone’s scattered atoms within the fragment she holds, and reform an Infinity Stone to truly resurrect Vision, from his white template! Perhaps that’s how the Nexus will come into play, as a place to draw together such cosmic power that was once scattered by the Mad Titan…

           Wish we got to see more of Darcy and Woo, as well as Fietro; Him being confirmed as Ralph was great, as was that little hilarious man-cave segment of his, fitting into what would’ve been his time period. I’m a bit disappointed he’s just some dude, but at least there’s the meta gag… I LOOOOVE Scarlet Witch’s new outfit, it’s such a stylish red dress/cape and crown, love how it’s repeatedly invoked as a symbol for her; Wanda finally gets to own her classic costume, her tiara! The bit where her ‘shirt’ meets the pants reminds me of fangs and the points on her tiara, I love that sharp and threatening visual cohesion! And with all that in mind, here’s hoping to The Falcon & Winter Soldier as our next installment into the MCU! And one day, we’ll finally get that Black Widow movie released… One day!