#I deserve to die

[yung-gxd]

I rarely give myself credit where it’s due because I feel like I don’t deserve it. This is an exception. I truly wish that in my entire childhood and teenage years that I had an adult I could trust and talk to about being depressed and suicidal. I yearn after all the years I’ve lost to silence that I let myself go to. I wish I get what doctors send out to 14 years old now with options to speak to them independently. Imagine if I felt safe enough to speak to a GP about how I was feeling, how badly I wanted to die. Sometimes it’s hard to think about those expired possibilities because who knows how much better I would’ve felt now if I’d gotten help at that age? Maybe I would be happier, less lonely and yearning after death so clearly. I’m sad all the time crying inside my brain because tears don’t come to my eyes no more. I’m devoid of emotion if not only on the outside. Maybe my traumas could have been healed or at least become manageable not like now where I’m getting triggered and thrown into fugue states constantly, disassociating everytime i get overwhelmed. Life could’ve been so much different so why can’t I choose to die on my own terms.

[sleep-deprived-mf]

imagining myself dead in some of the worst ways possible because why the fuck not lmaoo

[fattyegg]

here again. I've tried hard to feel better. failed again.

[missiodine]

I fucking hate myself.

[emerald-oceans]

I hadn’t cut at all this year and I blew it all away in one panic attack

I cut my arm deep and now it’s going to scar. I can’t get my tattoo now because my worthless ass cut right where i was going to get it done

[sillierthenjusthelium]

vent 2

tbh I feel like me being traumatized is something I deserve, because ever since I was 14 years old I always attention-seek for help from my 17 year old and 18 year old friends yet i deserve it whenever they blame me and exploit me, it's like they hate me and want me dead so I did for them but they switched after that happened they hated me more and more then I began to call myself such a sorrow dirty fucker

like tbh I always deserve it, I deserve it. but I just have to act fine I am fine I don't wanna act vulnerable infront of people I js don't need any help or saving I can get through this I am fine. really, I am fine.

[lilithmaze1998]

Hey guys, what do you do when you suck at absolutely everything, including all your hobbies? Asking for a friend.

[wow-wie]

i was doing so good. i thought we were okay. im sorry im such a piece of shit partner. im sorry im not enough for you. i can just kill myselfnif it makes it wasier.

[tasia-reader]

Asked my parents for water so I could take my pills and can’t even get that from them

[kopivie]

Babe wake up kazuha event birthday art

OH MT FUCKIGNBEAVEJWB(!,@&#×;;$@>*@;# I FORGOT WHAT TODAY WAS OH MY TFOSJSEBA GOD FYCK THE TRAVELER IS LITERALLY ME???? WHY IS HE LOOKING AT THEM LIKE THAT OCHAHABWBSN?!?@&÷*×&=

[theend-isnear]

It’s so strange being at a party, knowing I’m going to end my life afterwards but no one else knows.

Everyone is so clueless and honestly, it’s kind of nice..

[fattyegg]

I did my best, but they left me anyway

[just-a-we1rd0]

Why cant I do litteraly anything fucking usefull

[lonelywithdreams]

The mood dropped immediately when I saw the grade

I failed...again

No matter how much I try, I can't do anything right

Actually I stopped trying because it will be the same

I stopped trying

And I thought I stopped caring but I was wrong

I'm lying in my bed, crying my eyes out

I'm worthless

Useless

Stupid

I deserve to die

I have to die

I want to die

[sillierthenjusthelium]

vent 3

if I would disappear from being a existing person, I could immediately. I don't care if people love me, don't want me to kill myself. I want to do it and that's that, I always feel like my life is falling apart and it's all My fault. It's all my fault BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING TRUSTING THOSE PEOPLE WHO FUCKING RAPED ME FOR FUCKING NOTHING WHAT THE FUCK. I mean yes I don't blame on you for saying "Grace you shouldn't kill yourself" "Grace it's not your-" YES IT IS WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT ALL MY FAULT IT IS I SHOULDN'T HAVE TRUSTED THEM FOR SOOO LONG I FUCKING LOOKED UP TO THEM I STAND ON THE GROUND FOR THEM I DID EVERYTHING FOR THEM TO ACCEPT ME AND LOVE ME BUT THATS JUST "ME BEING OBSESSED" AND "ITS NOT THEIR FAULT, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH" I KNOW ITS MY FUCKING FAULT AND I SHOULD HAVE APOLOGIZE BUT NOW YOUR MAKING MY ABUSERS LOOK LIKE INNOCENT VICTIMS??? idk man this is was pathetic I js wanna die

[another-omen]

Someone break into my house and beat the shit outta me I'm being criminally unfunny