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incorrectbatfam · 1 year

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Why did the batfam get turned down for a job?

Interviewer: How much experience do you have with kids?

Dick: *flashbacks to prying Tim and Damian apart while Jason eggs them on*

Dick: A good amount.

———————

Interviewer: Can you pass a criminal background check?

Jason: No.

———————

Interviewer: We got a reference from your old coworker, Alvin Draper.

Tim: Oh, that was fast.

Interviewer: He says you suck.

Tim: Pfft, yeah. Some old workplace beef. You think he'd be over it by now.

———————

Interviewer: Do you have a valid driver's license?

Damian: Tt. Age limit this, driver's license that. If this was truly a free country I can get by without one.

Interviewer: Normally I'd agree with you, but we're a traveling petting zoo.

———————

Interviewer: Tell me about—

Killer Croc: *throws a car outside the window*

Duke: Um... gotta use the restroom. Be right back.

[10 minutes later]

Duke: *slides into his chair*

Duke: Where were we?

Interviewer: I was asking you about—

Scarecrow: *plants a fear gas bomb across the street*

Duke: I think my phone's ringing. One moment please.

———————

Interviewer: It says here you were fired from the movie theater. Can you tell me why?

Cullen: I spoiled the end credit scenes of Marvel movies.

Interviewer: And how can we be sure it won't happen here?

Cullen: This is Hot Topic, right?

———————

Stephanie: —long story short, I decided "to heck with it" and went to prom with an inflatable Riddler clone named Fernando. I'm sorry, what was your question again?

Interviewer: ...How are you?

———————

Cassandra: *shows up*

Interviewer: For the last time, we're not hiring!

———————

Barbara: There's a typo in your job posting. I also found that your LinkedIn page needs to be updated. Here is my full analysis with all my suggestions. And of course, assuming your application portal is up to date, you can see that I meet all of the qualifications.

Interviewer: Except you must be 35 to run for president.

———————

Interviewer: Why do you want this job?

Harper: Money.

Interviewer: Other than that.

Harper: *thinks for a second*

Harper: No that's it.

———————

Interviewer: What's your greatest strength?

Carrie: I'm double-jointed. I can bend my fingers like this. See?

———————

Interviewer: Please explain this gap in your resumé.

Kate: Don't tell me what to do.

———————

Interviewer: Have you ever stolen from your workplace?

Selina: Never.

*interviewer's wallet falls from Selina's pant leg*

———————

Interviewer: And why should Wayne Enterprises hire you?

Bruce: My name is literally on the building.

———————

Interviewer: We're sorry, Mr. Pennyworth, I don't think you'll be a good fit for us. I heard the Waynes are hiring next door, though.

Alfred: This is preposterous.

Alfred: *leaves*

Alfred: *goes next door*

Alfred: Good afternoon, I am here for—

Martha: Oh thank heavens, he's here.

Thomas: We're late for our conference. Keys are under the mat, the bed still needs to be made, and the baby took a huge crap just now.

Martha: *hands over baby Bruce*

Alfred: I supposed I'm hired then?

Baby Bruce: *blows a snot bubble*

Alfred, chuckling: At your service, young master.

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storiesforallfandoms · 4 months

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just for us ~ johnny depp

word count: 1790

request?: yes!

“Hii can you please write a Johnny Depp imagine where its the 90s, you are both famous, and the press keeps beging you expose your relationship?”

description: being famous at such a young age makes it hard to keep anything a secret, but you’re determined to make sure your relationship is just for the two of you and not for the media

pairing: young!johnny depp x female!reader

warnings: swearing, use of y/n, rpf

masterlist (one, two, three)

I started acting when I was five years old. It was a commercial, and I had all of 30 seconds of screen time. But that 30 seconds was enough to impress the director apparently, because two years later when he was hired to direct some new sitcom, he called my parents looking to cast me as one of the main kids. The show only lasted one season, but one season was all it took to kickstart my career.

Becoming an actor at such a young age meant losing a “normal” life. I never went to normal school, normal prom or graduation. I never really had normal friends, just co-stars and other child actors. And I never had any privacy. Once I became a household name, privacy went completely out the window as I was followed by paparazzi and fans daily. Not to mention the creeps who came out in droves when I turned 18.

Nothing in my life was private. Nothing except Johnny.

We met on set of a movie we were working on together, and I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him that I was going to fall for him. I tried not to. Dating as a celebrity was basically impossible, even more so when it was with another celebrity. But i couldn’t stop myself, and when he told me he had fallen for me too, I was a goner.

Being a fellow actor, Johnny knew exactly how to keep our relationship a secret. He knew which restaurants had the most hidden away seating, which ones had the most private parking so we could actually show up and leave together. He knew how to sneak in and out of my place without paparazzi noticing, and how to do the same with me at his place.

It worked for a long time. Like, two years at least. No one had any idea we were together. Until a fan spotted us out together. They didn’t see us acting like a couple, but apparently us hanging out together years after our movie had come out was suspicious enough to get the rumor mill going. Suddenly, every interview we did had us asked at least once about our relationship. But we never broke. We kept insisting we were just friends, and we kept our relationship a secret.

It was early in the morning when my alarm clock started to blare. I groaned as I rolled over to turn it off. The bright red numbers read “7:00am”. I groaned again, sleep fighting to take me again.

I smiled as Johnny wrapped me in his warm embrace and kissed my neck. “Why are we awake so early?”

“I have a morning interview at 9,” I told him. “I gotta get up and get ready.”

He squeezed me a little tighter. “Absolutely not.”

“I have no choice, J. I can’t cancel so close to the interview.”

“Just don’t show up. Problem solved.”

I turned in his arms to face him. His eyes were still drooping with fatigue, but he was trying his best to focus on me. I smiled at him and kissed his nose.

“You can stay here and sleep,” I told him. “I’ll be back by the time you wake up.”

“You better be,” he sleepily muttered.

I chuckled and finally wiggled free from his grasp.

Getting ready for interviews never took long. I didn’t have to do my makeup because the studio makeup artist would do it for me when I got there, and an outfit was chosen for me by my stylist prior to the day. All I had to do was get breakfast, clean myself up, and get dressed in my pre-chosen outfit. I was brushing my teeth when I heard a car horn honking outside, signaling that my ride to the interview had arrived.

I took one last peak into my bedroom. Johnny was sound asleep again. I smiled and quietly moved to my bed. I placed a gentle kiss on his cheek before rushing out the door as the car honked again.

I was rushed through the makeup and placed in an uncomfortable chair within 20 minutes. I tried not to shift too much in an attempt to find a comfortable position. Morning talk shows always had the worst chairs for some reason.

The host walked onto set and greeted me cheerily. I smiled back at her, wishing I had her chipper energy for so early in the morning.

I wonder how many cups of coffee she’s had.

She sat down across from me and we were given the five minute warning. I adjusted myself in my seat one last time, then smiled as the cameraman announced we were live.

“Good morning everyone, and welcome to our special guest, (Y/N),” the host said, gesturing to me. The crowd cheered as I smiled and waved to them. “Thank you for being here.”

“Thank you for having me. I’m so excited to be here!”

The host asked me about my new movie, and I went over the talking points I had been given for every interview. It was going as smoothly as most interviews did, until the host said, “I have to ask, is there anyone special in your life?”

I kept the smile on my face, but I was sure it looked much more strained now. “Nope. I’m absolutely single pringle.”

“Really? There’s not even anything going on with you and Johnny Depp?”

I glanced over at my manager, who looked about ready to shut the whole interview down. Most celebrities have a few off limits questions that interviewers are told they can’t ask about. It’s usually super personal and private stuff that they want to keep private. For me, the one topic that was off limits was Johnny. It wasn’t just because we wanted to keep our relationship a secret, but it was also because my management and I didn’t want all my interviews to suddenly be just about Johnny and not about my work.

It was clear from the look on my manager’s face that this host was told my limitations, and she was choosing to ignore them. This was her attempt at getting a huge scoop before anyone else so that she could boost the ratings of her show.

I knew I couldn’t just stop the interview. It was a live show, stopping would just cause a scene that I knew would do more harm than good. So, I took a very subtle deep breath and said, “Johnny has been my friend since we worked together years ago. There’s nothing more between us besides friendship.”

“Oh, come on. I know you’re aware of the rumors about you two. Everyone is dying for you to finally confirm that you’re together.”

“Well, everyone will just have to keep waiting because I am not confirming what’s not true. Also, I think it’s incredibly disrespectful and invasive to keep pushing this topic when Johnny and I have both said we aren’t dating and like to have our privacy. I don’t get many things that are just for me, but I want my relationship to be one of those things.”

My manager whispered something to the cameraman, who then signaled for the show to go to commercial. Once the cameras were off, my manager demanded for me to be un-miced so we could leave. I ignored the host’s apologies as the crew took off my mic and my manager beckoned for me to come with her.

As we left the studio, she nudged my shoulder and said, “You handled that amazingly, kid.”

I had no other obligations for the day, so my driver took me back home. I was happy to be back in the comfort of my own home after that interview.

The smell of food greeted me at the door. I smiled at myself as I made my way to the kitchen. As I expected, Johnny was stood at the stove, cooking up some breakfast. He was still in his pajama pants with no shirt on. I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He leaned into my touch, allowing me to place a kiss on his bare shoulder.

“You’re back early,” he said.

“The interview was cut short,” I responded.

“So I heard.” I looked up at him in confusion. “I woke up just in time to turn on the interview.”

I groaned. “So you saw the whole thing?” He nodded. I buried my head in his shoulder. “We told her not to ask, I swear.”

He moved in my arms, turning so he could face me. He wrapped his arms around me, too, as I moved mine around his neck instead.

“I think you handled that whole situation very well,” he said. “It was pretty clear you were caught off guard by the question, but you still handled it maturely and with more respect than I think she deserved.”

“I wasn’t going to cause a scene over it, even though I really wanted to just walk out if she had asked.”

“Would’ve made for better television if you had just stormed out.”

“You’re right. It’s probably best that I didn’t then.”

He chuckled and leaned down to kiss me. Any tension I had left from that day immediately melted the moment his lips touched mine.

“We’ll have to tell people eventually,” I said with a sigh, resting my head against his. “We can’t keep this a secret forever.”

“We’ve done so for two years.”

“Yeah, but we’ve already gotten caught once. There’s just no proof of us actually being together for the tabloids to run with. But if we slipped up once, it can happen again. Then we’ll have to tell people about us.” I sighed and added, mainly to myself, “We’ll ever get a moment of peace again.”

“It’ll happen eventually, but until then I’m happy to have our private moments,” Johnny said. He kissed the top of my head and added, “But the day I get to loudly say you’re mine will be a good day for me. I want everyone to know eventually that I have the most amazing woman as my girlfriend.”

“You’re gonna make me blush.”

“Good.”

He kissed me again, but pulled away quicker than I wanted. I tried to pull him back in, but he just shook his head and smiled. “I don’t want the food to burn. The last thing we need is everyone finding out we’re dating because I burned your house down.”

I chuckled. “Okay, you have a point.”

“Are you hungry? I made enough for the two of us.”

I nuzzled close to him as he turned back to the stove. “I’ll never say no to your cooking.”

#johnny depp #johnny depp imagine #johnny depp x reader #young!johnny depp #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom #rpf

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ladykailitha · 1 year

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Just more Steddie content because MY. BRAIN. WON’T. SHUT. UP. ABOUT. THEM!!!!

Senior Prom (Steve’s), Eddie’s hanging out by bleachers taking names for Hop who come up and ask to buy something other then weed (cough cough date rape drugs cough) (also also you can’t tell me that Hop doesn’t know who Reefer Rick and Eddie are considering season one Hop).

He hears someone wailing. Like out right sobs. Eddie being the bleeding heart he is has to investigate. He finds prom king Steve Harrington in his tux, just horrifically crying his eyes out.

So he goes over and asks what’s wrong. Steve tells him because why not everyone’s going to find out on Monday anyway. Apparently three basketball players hired a guy to honey trap Steve at prom and took pictures of the guy kissing Steve. Steve didn’t consent to either, but in the pictures it really doesn’t show that.

And he tells Eddie that if his dad finds out, he’s pretty sure he’s going to follow through on his threat to 12 year old Steve (who had been rough housing a little too ‘close’ for Mr Harrington’s ‘comfort’) where he got down his elephant gun and told Steve that if he ever saw him kissing a boy, he would empty both barrels straight into Steve’s face.

So poor Steve is just completely freaking out. But that’s not even the worst part of this whole shit show as far as Eddie is concerned (though the death threat is pretty bad). No, Steve is bisexual and that was his first kiss with a boy. Completely destroying Steve ever trying out that part of his sexuality ever. Because he’ll always wonder at the back of his head if it’s not a trap.

Eddie is livid. And vows revenge for Steve. He gets Steve to give him the names of the three other players and takes Steve home and gets his number. He’ll call Steve when he has word on the pictures.

The ringleader comes to Eddie the next day looking for a little ‘enhancement’. And Eddie pulls out a little leather notebook about the size of a deck of cards and begins to flip through it. Apparently ringleader dude has been buying these drugs the day before big games. And Eddie tells him he has two hours to bring the pictures and all the negatives or the cops and the board of student athletes will get copies of the pages that Eddie has in his little book.

The dude blows up and says that he’ll make sure no one buys from Eddie ever again if he tries it. Eddie reminds him that of the two of them who are they going to believe a drug addicted teen who just outed his drug dealer and cut off the supplies for the entire area for who knows how long until Rick got a new dealer he can trust, or the drug dealer who outed ONE basketball player who is clearly out of his mind?

They set up a place to meet for the pictures. The kid shows up with the camera they used. He hadn’t had time to get the pictures developed yet. Eddie pops open the back of the camera and just starts yanking on the film. Making sure to expose the film to as much light as possible. The kid is screaming about the other pictures on the camera. Eddie hands back the camera with a single ‘oops!’ He then tells him to call off the other two boys as well, because he as dirt on them too. And if they want to leave this town in anything other in handcuffs in the back of a police car, they’ll keep their head down and their mouths shut until after they graduate. (And if Hop gets them on graduation day anyway Eddie isn’t there for them to point fingers at, he didn’t graduate again, though he might be watching from the bleachers, hidden from view to laugh at them but who’s to say for sure).

He calls Steve up and tells him that pictures will never see the light of day and he’s safe. And if Steve takes Eddie out to dinner as a thank you, that’s their business. And if Eddie shows him that he can trust that Eddie would never hurt him that way, that’s no one’s business either. And if Steve and Eddie move in together after coming out to his parents, well that’ no one’s business but the cops and Mr Harrington when they take him away in handcuffs for threatening to murder his son.

#My writing #stranger things #steddie #wow this was long #sorry not sorry

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veryberrydreamer · 1 year

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Here's how the Zoey 102 movie is gonna go. I would literally bet money on this.

Quinn and Logan are super rich and successful/possibly famous in some way. Because, I mean, his money? Her brains? They were bound to be! Anyway, because of this Logan proposes to Quinn publicly and they're expected to have this over the top wedding (complete with multiple events, statues that get destroyed by Zoey's "boyfriend" with that car, and headsets for some reason?).

So Quinn asks Zoey to be her maid of honor and Zoey accepts, but she's worried about all of the events because Chase will be there. To prepare for this, she hires an actor to play her boyfriend. Chase is also nervous, so he also hires someone to play his girlfriend. Because duh! If Zoey's nervous, then Chase must be crawling out of his skin!

Anyway, everyone from PCA gets together and has a good time. They remember old days and what not. Stacy and Mark are together for some reason. (Guess they hooked up at Prom after he hit her with Michael's car?) In doing all of this, Quinn starts to realize that she misses being this way. She wants to be more down to earth, less lavish. And of course she will wait until the day of her wedding to do anything about it!

This also gives Chase and Zoey plenty of time to exchange longing looks.

So we get to the wedding. It's ass. Quinn leaves, not because she doesn't love Logan, but because she doesn't like the theatrics. I don't think Zoey and Chase will decide to use the venue for themselves Mamma Mia style (maybe Mark and Stacy will bc fuck a marriage license ig?💀) since we see them talking at the beach after, but I do think this will give them more time to reflect and decide to get together. I also think this is when they will reveal that they both had the same fake partner plan.

After Quinn leaves, Logan decides to propose to her again but in a way that is much more toned down. Only close friends are there this time around. I believe there are two proposals because 1. Zoey found out about their engagement over the phone. How could she been there, standing behind Quinn, if there aren't two separate proposals? 2. Logan is holding a tie in his hand when he proposes. Throughout the entirety of the trailer, he wears a suit and tie (even at the bar. Bleh!). Taking the tie off to propose is symbolic. It's him trying to meet Quinn where she's at.

As you can see in the trailer, Quinn says yes. They actually get married, everyone dances, and they live happily ever after. THE END.

#hope this is coherent #it's 2am #i am tired #zoey 101 #zoey 102 #quinn pensky #logan reese #quinn x logan #quogan #zoey brooks #chase matthews #media literacy #context clues #nickelodeon #nostalgia #rampling #theory

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classiccarhire · 2 years

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Vital Considerations When Planning to Choose a Wedding Car

The correct wedding car hire are just one of many details to consider when planning a wedding.

Even though you may think it's a minor activity, if done incorrectly, it can result in you feeling absolutely frustrated and worried. In order to get your wedding guests to the site, you will indeed need vehicles. To get to the venue, you'll also need the main car for yourself. So, it wouldn't be advisable to treat this component of your wedding so carelessly. You could experience sleepless nights due to any turmoil!

Budget for your Wedding Car Hire

Seeking Classic Car Hire?

Your budget for the chauffeur driven wedding car should be your top priority. Naturally, you must have established a precise spending limit for your Wedding Car Hire. Find a car hire company that fits within your budget. Wedding Cars For Hire, offer our services at fair, sometimes fixed prices, while others charge unforeseen fees.

A Reputable Wedding Car Hire company

It's yet another highly important factor to take into account when choosing a Wedding Car Hire London company. Choose a company like Wedding Cars For Hire whose cars have an excellent reputation. You can be sure that you'll choose a dependable transportation service for your big day because their vehicles are spotless and well-kept.

Date of your wedding

Of course, you'll have to book a Classic or Wedding Car Hire before you even know the date of your wedding. Once you know the date of your wedding, make sure to start making reservations. Postponing the reservation could result in regret since thisbest businesses, such as Wedding Cars For Hire, are reserved first. Therefore, there is no use in waiting until the very last moment to reserve your wedding transportation.

Needed number of vehicles

You can have varying requirements for cars during your wedding, based on its size, the time of year, and its locality. You must choose how many cars you'll use before contracting a chauffeur driven transporter. For Rolls Royce hire, contact Wedding Cars For Hire now.

Variety of vehicles wedding car rental service

People need a variety of automobiles for their weddings because they are distinctive events. For your exits, you may wish to hire a customized vehicle. Because of this, it's important to pick a business, like Wedding Cars For Hire, that offers a wide range of vehicles that match your theme needs while staying inside your budget.

Theme for your wedding

You must have a clear notion of your wedding theme prior hunting for a wedding car hire service. Weather you would like a Classic car hire or a Modern car hire, we can certainly guide you on which car is the best to suit your wedding Theme

Additionally, you must take your wedding's season into account.

If you are seeking Prom Car Hire contact Wedding Cars For Hire without hesitation.

#Wedding Car Hire Essex #Rolls Royce hire #Wedding taxi hire #Hummer Stretch Limo hire #Vintage wedding car hire #Prom Car Hire #London City Luxury Airport Transfers #Stansted Luxury Airport Transfers #Gatwick Luxury Airport Transfers #Wedding car hire

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mklchauffeurs · 1 year

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What are some tips to check while hiring a prom car?

There are a few recommendations to keep in mind when hiring a prom car. It is of utmost importance to decide what kind of car you want, whether it is a limo, a luxury sedan, or a vintage car. Verify the company's reputation, track record of safety, appropriate licencing, and insurance, among other things. Ask the chauffeur about his or her experience and for recommendations from former customers. Also, make sure he has the required licence and insurance to drive the car you plan to hire. Check the pricing one last time to make sure there are not any extra fees or charges. Finally, check out the vehicle in person before making a reservation to make sure it is in good shape and meets your requirements. You can help ensure a fun and memorable prom experience by paying attention to these suggestions and details.

Original Source: https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-tips-to-check-while-hiring-a-prom-car/answer/MKL-Chauffeurs

#hiring a prom car #hiring a prom car chauffeur #hire prom car chauffeur #prom car chauffeur #prom car chauffeur uk #prom car chauffeur leicester #prom car chauffeur london #prom car chauffeur near me #prom car chauffeur online

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venusthepirate · 2 years

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like any unloved thing part four : opera house

ao3 / part one / part two / part three

here’s chapter four ! thank you all for your comments, you guys are the best ! hope you’ll like this chapter ;)

Masterlist : @avocado-writing @little-sunflower-bug @evangelineflowers @humbug5 @yume904 @sarcastic-sourwolf @chloeforde @illusionsnfantasies @cupofstarss

Tangerine doesn’t call, so Fawn doesn’t either.

Maybe she ought to. Only to claim the money he didn’t pay her, but she doesn’t even want to speak to him. She’s not sure if she even wants to see him again. She’s sure even less that he ever wants to see her again.

She tries to understand, at first, what could have warranted such a reaction, but she can’t come up with any rational explanation. He had told her he didn’t want sex. He had told her it wasn’t because she was a hooker, but maybe it was.

Eventually incomprehension and sadness melts into anger and resentment. She throws the bowl of tangerines in the trash. She can’t bear to look at it anymore.

The intensity of her rage surprises her. It only makes her even more furious. He was just a client. One with a strange request, and who didn’t treat her like some merchandise or piece of meat, but in the end, still a client. So what ? Maybe she had liked his company more than she anticipated. He had treated her like a normal person. No, not just like a normal person, more like… like she was his friend.

Fawn didn’t have many friends. Something told her he didn’t either.

She thought she’d found someone like her.

Fuck him, anyway. She wishes he would call, just so she can turn him away. Men are assholes. Fawn deserves better than them.

She puts him at the back of his mind, the longer she doesn’t hear anything from him. November morphs into December, and then she’s a few hours away from the gala. She takes a long bath, smokes a little to help relieve her nerves. Then, she spends the remaining time getting ready, braiding her hair up in an elaborate bun. The makeup she does is discreet. Men like Kenneth Hall wants their women to be elegant, without overdoing it. They want her to be naturally pretty.

She carefully slips on the dress she had bought with Violet, puts on a necklace full of rich brown gems around her neck, along with matching earrings. She looks at her reflection then.

She looks like a rich woman. Someone powerful and confident. Someone who only eats at three-star restaurants, who would own a jacuzzi and a large, lavish penthouse.

Good. That’s who she needs to be tonight. Someone people will look at with envy and admiration. They will look at her client and wonder how such a man came to have her at his arm.

She’s no stranger to this type of things. At first she had been unsure, uncomfortable under the weight of their stares, and like vultures, they had preyed on that lack of confidence. They could sense her discomfort, and they treated her accordingly, full of condescendence and disdain. She’d learned this special kind of dance then, how to speak, how to stand and how to walk.

Escort jobs are something entirely more difficult than sex, she learned, at the time. But they brought far more money than anything, and she didn’t have to actually do anything with them. They mostly wanted company, someone elegant enough and with conversation. An arm candy, would be an accurate description of it.

She shoots off a text to Violet, who informs her she’s almost at the gala. Apparently, whoever hired her sent a limo just for her. Fawn is impressed.

Her own client comes to pick her up at the location she’s given him, a few streets away from her apartment. She doesn’t give him her real address, and waits on the curb until a slick, elegant black car pulls up in front of her. She gets inside, greets her client with a smile and a light kiss on the cheek when she sits down next to him in the back of the car.

He makes small talk with her during the drive, jovial and seemingly delighted to speak with her. Fawn lets him lead the conversation, asks the appropriate questions at the right times, prompts him into talking about him and whatever he does for a living. Men like him just want an attentive ear, someone to listen to them and act genuinely interested in what they say.

She lets him chatter away until the car finally slows down to a stop. She steals a look outside. The building they have stopped in front of is huge, high, full of long marble columns and large windows. She thinks it might be a museum or an art gallery, from m what she had remembered. She’s never come to this place before, at least not on jobs.

Ever the gentleman, her client opens her door and offers her his arm. She loops her elbow with his and follows him up the stairs and inside. She tries to look for Violet in the crowd of people ascending the stairs, scrutinizing the flock of elegant suits and dazzling dresses for a purple dress, but doesn’t see her. Maybe she already arrived and is just inside.

The inside, when she finally gets there, is magnificent. There are crystal chandeliers hanging from the high ceiling, soft classical music playing. Kenneth gives her a champaign flute before guiding her towards other people. Most of the guests here have already mingled, forming small groups of whispers and fake, polite small talk. Fawn is content to follow the client’s lead and offer greetings when necessary, nod and smile. She lies when people ask her questions about herself.

She discreetly sends another text to Violet asking her where she is. Her phone buzzes with an answer a few minutes later.

Violet : just on your left.

Fawn looks around herself, and finally spots her. She’s standing close to a man who must be in his forties. His hand is around her waist, and he’s busy talking to another man in front of him.

Fawn : everything alright ?

Violet : a bit off. Check in 20 min ?

Fawn : sure

She watches them for a bit longer, trying to get some kind impression on the man. He looks like every white business man she’s ever encountered, suave and well-spoken, but she knows better than anyone what can hide under the expensive suit. In her experience, men like him are more likely to be fucking creeps than anyone else.

At least he isn’t so old. Her own client must be double her age.

She looks a bit more at the people around. Tangerine is the farthest thing on her mind.

Up until she sees him.

He’s standing a few feet away from her, in a suit, as always, hair slicked back. He’s holding a flute of champaign too, taking the occasional sip as he talks to a couple.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck.

She really shouldn’t be as surprised as she feels. The man wears three-pieces suits, for God’s sake, of course he’s going to be present at this sort of thing. But, fuck. She didn’t expect him to be here.

She’s so stunned that she doesn’t think of doing something smart, like maybe hiding so he doesn’t see her, or at least pretending that she isn’t staring at him.

He must have felt the weight of her gaze on him, because he looks up from his conversation, and his eyes find hers.

Fuck.

His eyes widen when he recognizes her. He doesn’t seem to have been expecting her either.

She watches as he says something to the couple, and then starts making his way towards her. Fucking fuck. She can’t talk to him right now. Not just because of what happened. She’s with a client, and they generally don’t take it well to meet another client. Men are like fucking peacocks sometimes. They so desperately want to be unique.

Fawn tells Kenneth that she needs to go to the bathroom, and slips away in the crowd before Tangerine can catch up with her. She doesn’t bother checking if he’s seen her walking away. She quickly sneaks away through people until she finally finds a bathroom. She lets the door shut closed behind her with a sigh of relief. The washroom is empty.

She approaches the sink, and looks at her reflection. She feels like something just unraveled her, but she’s surprised to see that she looks like the same. She expected… a crack. Something. Anything.

She rummages through her purse for a lipstick. She hears the door being opened, and when she glances up in the mirror, she sees Tangerine step inside.

She freezes.

“You’re in the wrong place”, she tells him. “This is the lady’s room.”

His jaw ticks.

“What are you doing here ?” He asks, not bothering to react to her previous statement. His stance is tense. Fawn feels on edge. She doesn’t trust him. Maybe she did, before, but not any longer.

“I’m on a job”, she answers, curtly.

“On a job”, he repeats.

She glares at him, now getting annoyed.

“Yes, with a client. So I would appreciate it you didn’t talk to me, Tangerine. You can’t just fucking walk up to me and start a conversation.”

He seems startled by her words.

“Look”, he says, hesitantly. “I… I’m sorry about last time.”

She snorts, shaking her head. There’s a bitter taste on her tongue.

“Last time ? You mean when you ran away after we kissed ? Or do you mean when you didn’t pay me ?”

He at least has the decency to look ashamed. He looks away.

“Fuck, look, I completely forgot, alright ?” He’s twisting his rings around his fingers, back and forth. She’s noticed him doing it every time he was unsure or stressed.

“I’m so glad one of us could”, she retorts. “That’s not something I can afford to forget, you know ?”

“I’ll pay you, alright ?” He offers. “I’ll pay you how much you want. I can do it now, or next time, if you want.”

Fawn raises an eyebrow at him in the reflection of the mirror.

“Next time”, she repeats. “Yeah, not sure if I want a next time with a client who is one bad day away not paying me.”

He frowns.

“I’m sorry, yeah ? I really am. How long do you want me to fucking apologize for ?”

She turns around to face him. The contrite look is gone, now. He seems… annoyed. A bit desperate.

“I’m a real person, Tangerine.”

His frown deepens even more.

“Of course I fucking know that you’re a real-“

“No, I’m not sure you do”, Fawn cuts him off. “Just because you’re paying me doesn’t mean you can take me for granted. I cancel other clients for you, you get drunk while meeting with me, I tell you no and you call me on my phone. I’m not some fucking object you throw away when you’re done playing with it.”

His jaw ticks again. He rakes a hand through his hair.

“You kissed me”, he says.

Ah. So, he finally addresses it.

Fawn crosses her arms on her chest. The lights from above her head are starting to hurt her eyes.

“Yes.”

“I told you I didn’t want sex.”

“It was a fucking kiss, Tangerine”, she retorts, anger settling inside her chest. “Not a proposition. I was high. A simple no would have been enough.”

“Yeah, well, seemed a bit fucking difficult to tell at the time.”

She glares at him. He doesn’t shy away from her gaze this time, blue eyes staring right back at her.

“You kissed me back, if I remember correctly.”

“You know what, fuck you. I’m trying to apologize here and you’re acting like a fucking bitch.”

His words are like a cold shower. He seems to catch on his words too, as if they’ve escaped him, because he closes his eyes and sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Sure”, she says, closing her bag, not looking at him anymore.

“Fawn, wait, that wasn’t…” He tries, but she doesn’t want to listen to other pathetic excuses.

“Goodbye, Tangerine”, she tells him, final, and leaves the bathroom before he can argue.

She doesn’t bother checking if he follows her.

Fucking asshole.

That’s the problem with men like him. They’re just needy fucking things, and the minute they’re not given what they want, here they go, throwing tantrums and hurling insults.

It hurts a bit, though, even if Fawn pretends it doesn’t. She hadn’t expected his words to wound her.

She fishes her phone out of her bag, checks the time. Shit, it’s been more than twenty minutes, she forgot to check on Violet. Fucking Tangerine and his pathetic excuse for an apology.

She sends a text asking her if everything’s alright, but five minutes later there’s still no answer.

Worry starts churning at her stomach. She tries looking in the main room. She sees, in the distance, her own client, but there’s no trace of either Violet or her client. After circling the room a few times, she calls, but no one picks up.

Fuck. Fuck, okay.

She opens the Find my phone app. Violet seems to be still inside the building, which is a relief.

Fawn tries to follow the little red dot on her phone indicating Violet’s position. She goes through a few corridors, getting farther away from the main room where the guests are. The corridors are empty, and her heels echo against the marble floor.

She hears voices.

“Fuck off, you fucking-”, she hears a female voice say, and then there’s a sharp sound, like a slap.

Fawn rounds a corner and then freezes.

Violet is on the ground, holding her head, and her client, William fucking something, is standing over her.

“Hey !” Fawn yells. She rushes to Violet’s side, careful not to get too close to the man.

“She just tripped, everything’s alright”, the man says, but Fawn is no fool.

There’s something off about him. His voice is cold, and she can see that his fist is clenched. Pure, unaltered rage fills her lungs. She’s almost surprised that she can still breathe through it.

She stays calm, for Violet’s sake.

“He fucking hit me”, Violet retorts, spitting blood on the ground.

“C’me on, we’re leaving”, Fawn reassures her, helping her stand up.

“No, she’s not leaving. I fucking paid for her, she’s staying right here until I’m done with her.”

Fawn ignores him, but when they pass in front of him, he grabs Violet’s arm and pulls her brutally towards him.

It all goes to hell after that.

Fawn tries to get him off Violet, but he pushes her down on the ground. Her back hurts from the force of the fall, and by the time she gets up, Violet hits him in the face. He screams insults at her, punches her, and Violet crumbles on the floor like a puppet whose strings have been cut.

He kicks at her ribs, twice, before Fawn is on him, managing to send both of them on the floor. She tries to get back up to get the upper hand on him, but she’s not fast enough. There’s a sudden pain in her head, blinding and nerve-wracking. She blinks against the sharpness of it, trying to make sense of what is happening. She feels like her head is being split open. There’s a bitter, metallic taste on her tongue. Blood.

She’s lying on the ground, staring at the ceiling. Everything is whirling around her, as if the world has tilted from its axis.

After what seems like an insurmountable effort, she sits up, fighting against the vertigo and nausea. Through her blurred vision, she sees him, straddling Violet. His hands are around her neck, as her legs scramble on the floor, trying to push him off.

The fury that fills her takes her by surprise. She doesn’t even think about it, about any of it. Her purse is on the ground, and, almost as if she’s on automatic pilot, her fingers close around the handle of her switchblade.

What follows is a blur. Something snaps inside of her, and the rage and anger wash over her in white waves, obscuring her vision. She acts on pure instinct then.

The next thing she knows is a gush of warmth, something wet, spraying over her hands and chest, as she pulls the switchblade free out of the man’s neck.

He immediately collapses on the floor, making choking noises, like he’s swallowed his own tongue. Violet scrambles away from him.

Blood, dark and vivid, pools underneath him, tainting the pristine marble floor. She watches, distantly, as he bleeds out and eventually stills.

She feels like she’s been plunged underwater, like she’s watching this whole scene from miles away.

“Oh my God”, Violet says, voice shaking badly. It pulls Fawn out of her trance. “Oh my God, he’s, he’s fucking dead.”

She killed a man. She just killed a man.

“I-I can’t”, Violet sobs. “I can’t go to jail, my sister… Oh my God, we killed him.”

“No”, Fawn cuts her, quietly. “No, I killed him.”

Violet stares up at her, tearfully. Fawn kneels down next to her, in spite of the blood now wetting the hem of her dress.

“Violet, you gotta leave, alright ?” She tells her, without any hesitation.

“What do you mean ?” Violet asks. She’s trembling so badly her teeth are almost chattering. Fawn presses her forehead against hers.

“Listen to me”, she murmurs. “I killed him, alright ? I killed him. This is on me. Go home. Nothing happened. Nothing will happen to you.”

“But…”

“I killed him”, Fawn repeats, final. “You can’t go to jail, you said it yourself. I’ll take care of this. Just go.”

Violet finally nods, tears streaming down her face. She gets up, and seems to hesitate for a brief moment, before she’s hurrying down the corridor, disappearing around the corner.

Fawn stares at the corpse of the man. She’s then acutely aware of the blood on her own face, on the skin of her neck, on her hands. She’s still clutching the knife tightly in her palm.

Fuck.

Fuck, okay.

She needs to move the body. At least hide it so that no one will see it if they pass through the corridor. She’ll think about what to do then.

She breathes in, deeply. The rage that had run through her is long gone, now. She feels empty without it, cold. She can feel her fingers shaking.

There’s the sound of footsteps, coming closer. Fawn looks up, heart thundering inside her chest. Fuck. She’s kneeling down next to a dead body, covered in blood, holding the murder weapon. She’s the murderer.

This is how Tangerine finds her.

#tangerine #tangerine fic #tangerine x reader #tangerine bullet train #lemon and tangerine #bullet train #bullet train fanfic #bullet train fic #bullet train tangerine

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limohirelondonseo · 4 months

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housesunstone · 1 month

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tell me about the person you went on 1 date with and hit it off but kept losing contact until rematching on hinge and tinder

Okay! When i tell you this is romcom levels of bs I mean it.

So it's 2015, and this kid, I'll call him C, met for the first time when our high schools were doing a thing. We get thrown into the same group chat for a bit throughout the day, and we hit it off. I don't use Snapchat, and Instagram wasn't a thing I used either back then, so we just drifted apart at the end of that day.

Flash forward to June 2018 and I did a victory lap in high school (I graduated in 2017 but deferred my acceptance into uni until the 2018 fall semester) I just got out of a really shitty relationship with this girl named H. H was a really bad person and I ignored those red flags for wayyyy to long (fun fact H still stalks me and after she dumped me she immediately got into a relationship with another girl who looked like me...) Anyways... H was a year younger than me, so while we were together, I became friends with some of her friends, and some of those friends chose me at the end of the relationship and not her. So as a joke my one friend K went to prom together with our other friend J, and my other friend M was at our table and her date N he went to a different highschool. The night of prom N and I were chatting since that was the first time I ever met him and he said something along the lines of "My friend met someone with the same name as you and had a huge crush on them isn't that funny" mind you we are all between the ages of 17-18 and fully not sober. So it never crossed my mind that this friend of his may be C even though I have a very unique name and no one else in my city has this name.

After prom N goes and tells C about this person who went to the same highschool and has the same name of this person he had a thing for. It took them some time to connect the dots and once they did it was too late I had left my city to go to uni.

Flash forward to March 2019, I dropped out of uni because I didn't like what I was doing. I loved where I was and the friends I made but didn't want to keep wasting money. So I move back home. September 2019 rolls around, and I start at my local college's film program. The film program is right by the IT and Pilot classes so we see them briefly all the time. EVERY SINGLE DAY UNTIL COVID C AND I SAW EACH OTHER AND NEVER REALIZED THAT IT WAS US.

Its now March 2021 we are doing classes fully online and I get hired in my field before I graduate. Still, in class, my teachers just gave me a pass since I had already been hired, and I then actually graduated in April in an online thing and never got a proper graduation. (sad but moving on)

Okay, so it's November 2021, and I decided to redownload Tinder since its been since 2018 that I've had a relationship, and I am one of those people who can't do one-night stands. The first person that pops up is C. We match. We chatted on Tinder for a bit, then moved to texting. December 2021 rolls around, we go on a coffee date. He got the location wrong (since there are two that are in our city), and I stood out in the freezing Northern Ontario winter waiting. He shows up, and we decide instead to get a coffee to go and take a ride in his car.

The date lasted four hours, and we talked the whole time; it was great. After the date, we texted more, but then the holidays rolled around, and we drifted.

In March 2022, I needed to get a new number since my ex was stalking me once more, and I also got a new phone this time and lost all my contacts... I lose C's number.

In June 2022, we match on hinge. We are talking at a great time. We don't go straight to texting this time. He gets an internship out of town, and in July, I leave my city to stand up in a wedding.

In December 2022, we match on hinge again. As we were about to set up a date for the new year, my grandma broke her ankle. Since my grandpa has heart problems and can't take care of her by himself, and I can work from home, I take care of her. Between then and March 2023, we chat on and off before both of us leave hinge around the middle of March.

In May 2023, we met again on Tinder. Again, talking is great. We joke that we keep missing each other. On July 3rd, I left my city for 2.5 months for work reasons.

October 2023, we match again... he has a death in the family, and we lose touch.

AUGUST 13 2024 WE MATCH ON BOTH HINGE AND TINDER. HIS OPENING LINE ON HINGE IS "Remember me?" AND HIS OPENING LINE ON TINDER IS "Because I didn't forget you"

Fucking rom-com bs

#additional info he knows him queer never was weird about it #the only thing he said was “your celeb crush cant be Zendaya because mine is and that's unfair” lol #he also knows im nonbinary and was super chill with it #this man has big bi wife energy

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